Ep 257: Amy Annette

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to them current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time check lift

there's nothing like sinking into luxury at washable sofas calm you'll find the anibay sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price and get this it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom starting at only six hundred ninety nine dollars the stain resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash perfect for anyone with kids pets or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa.

With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anibay has you covered.

Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Shop now at washablesofas.com.

Add a little

to your life.

Offers are subject to change, and certain restrictions may apply.

Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the aubergine of conversation, slicing that up with the knife of friendship, adding the tomato sauce of good

humor, the mozzarella of content, and the parmesan of being best buddies.

Aubergine Parmesana.

Aubergine Podcaster.

Aubergine Podcaster.

My name is James Ed Costa.

That is our gamble.

Together, we own a dream restaurant.

We invite a guest every single week.

And we ask them their favourite ever start of main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is

Amy Annette.

Annette.

Amy Annette, a wonderful comedian and a dear friend of ours, James.

Yes, I mean for years, Amy has impacted the world of comedy in so many different ways and she's finally taken her debut stand-up comedy show.

Yes.

Pidey and befring.

Thick skin is on at the Pleasants Courtyard right now.

So go along and see Amy Annette.

Listen to this episode first.

Yes.

And also like Amy's podcasts.

Yes.

What women want.

What women want.

Yes.

Amy is a wonderful podcaster as well.

Get yourself to the show.

Listen to this.

Get Amy's vibe if you don't know her.

Pop along to the show.

it's gonna be a wonderful way to spend your time you're gonna have a great time here and there very nice of course though if amy's is a secret ingredient that we have pre-established she will be removed from the restaurant and you better hope she has thick skin if we're kicking her out yeah so she won't be upset because if that's what thick skin means yeah that's what thick skin means yeah and this week the secret ingredient is

nettle tea you came up with this one james yes because amy's got the word net in her surname surname.

Yes.

So I just worked from there.

Nettle tea.

I bought nettle tea.

I have had nettle tea.

You seem like the sort of guy who might have had nettle tea.

Yeah, there was a period of my life where I wasn't drinking caffeine about five years.

Yeah.

And during that, I tried every tea under the sun.

Yeah.

And nettle tea I just found very boring.

I feel like you would have had nettle tea in your jumpers phase when you were wearing the jumpers.

Sure.

Where you got the big hair and you're wearing the jumpers.

Yeah, that would make more sense to have done it then.

But at the stage at a gig where everyone's having a drink, you'd you'd be like,

do you have any nettle tea?

I would quite like that, please.

And everyone's just like,

who's this fucking dweeb?

You've got to follow it up with a shot of Doc Leaf Squash.

Yeah.

So important.

Should we chat to Amy then?

I'd love to chat to Amy.

This is the off-menu menu of Amy Annette.

Welcome, Amy, to the Dream Restaurant.

Hello.

Welcome, Amy, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Oh, my God, a genie.

Wow.

Hello.

Finally, a reaction from a guest

that establishes the fact you're a genie and they're impressed by you.

And that you've exploded into the room in a puff of smoke.

Yeah, yeah.

Green smoke.

No one has coloured this smoke before.

Who else coloured the smoke before?

It's not normally.

Do you see that when you see a genie in popular entertainment rather than in real life?

Thank you.

Is it colourful smoke or is it just your standard sort of white stuff?

That's such a good point.

I I guess it is white, but then I'm thinking blue, even though I said green.

Because of Aladdin.

Because of Aladdin.

Because of Aladdin, is that blue?

He's blue, right?

So smoke can't also be blue.

Maybe,

Benito, you're going to have to Google this.

Google image.

Straight away.

Genie puff of smoke Aladdin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's in the doo, doo, doo, do, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

That one?

Hang on.

You know,

I dream of genie.

I dream of genie.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I would not have got that.

Does she?

I thought that she pops out.

Is that smoke?

She's out a lot of the time, though, right?

So.

Yeah, he's rubbing that lamp a lot.

Well, that would be a nightmare if you were married to a genie, though.

And you're like, I thought we were going to spend time together and every time we're in the middle of the day.

Yeah, yeah.

But she's so comfortable in that lamp.

Have you seen it?

It's like got a lovely bunket.

Yeah.

Sort of like a sort of lounge, a secret lounge.

I don't think I remember the interior of the lamp.

They were married in that.

Oh, yeah, big time.

Yeah.

She's a genie, but she's married.

Okay.

Is he the master?

Yeah.

I guess so.

And I guess I'm also in my head thinking of The Witch One, which is a different show.

A lot of American shows about straight men marrying magical blonde women.

Magical blonde women.

Who are their servants?

Yeah.

Amy, no.

Puff of smoke.

That's where we got to.

Puff of smoke.

We've been for many meals together.

Yeah, so many.

All of us.

I would say most of my meals are with

either one of you or both of you.

Or both of us.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

That's exciting.

I don't eat when I'm not with you.

Hang on.

All of your meals.

Yeah.

Right, so.

I'm hungry.

I haven't seen you either of you anymore.

I know.

We've both been on tour.

Yeah.

If I'd known

that you weren't eating.

Yeah.

Because if I'm not in a fancy restaurant with my parents, I'm not eating.

You know that internet phrase, passage and princess, and it's for like people who don't drive.

They get driven around.

I've not heard that, but I like it.

I do like it though.

You're the passenger princess, James.

And you're the passenger king.

No, that doesn't work.

You're the king.

Anyway, you drive it.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Yeah, yeah.

And I feel like I'm the passenger princess meals-wise with you and your continued food-based success.

I've had some great meals off your own, off the back of this.

I don't know.

I get messages, you know, from you and that guy quite often being like, oh, we're in this nice restaurant and I get some little food pics.

So you guys are striking out on your own.

That's so depressing that even when we're on our own, we're like,

let's show Ed what we're having a lunch off.

You're referring to my longtime lover, Nishkumar.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, we don't normally like to say his name on the podcast.

Why?

What?

Is that the secret ingredient?

We should start making it that.

We should make it that for every episode.

Then we don't have to come up with a new one every time.

And no one can ever mention Nish.

Yeah.

But you love mentioning him, so you'd have to.

Yeah, he loves being mentioned as well.

Yeah.

He does.

I listen to this podcast only the ones that I think I might be mentioned in.

Yes.

Well, you're mentioning quite, I mean, it's quite a few of them in the past, certainly, because you are well within the off-menu law.

I'm in the law i'm in the canon yeah because of your advice when eating ramen which is always order an extra egg such good advice but need it be advice it just feels like the most obvious thing in the world you said it first you know

yeah before any japanese person

i'm not sure they'd say always order an extra egg no no i think to the wise it seems

so true but like to the rest of us when we when when you told me that for the first time it changed my mind yeah i lived opposite a ramen place at the time of course and that's now changed

everywhere i just think it it feels so decadent when you think about it, but when you do it, it makes so much sense.

Also, often you're given half an egg as standard.

Yeah.

So I'm just completing the circle.

Yeah.

The oval.

Yeah.

So you're not ordering an extra egg, really, because they only give you a half in the first place.

And because of that, I actually do often order two, maybe three.

Extra eggs.

If it's possible.

Because

two full eggs.

You know someone got a tattoo of that, right?

What?

Someone I'm right remembering this, aren't I?

A tattoo?

Someone got a tattoo saying always order an extra egg.

Is that someone you?

No, no, no.

I mean, I'd happily get that, but they got like a picture of egg, maybe in Ramen, and it says, always order an extra egg.

I'm trying to remember if they also

put Amy and Nettle.

If they also had it that it was...

I don't think they did.

But they, at least in the post online, credited you.

Gosh.

So in some people's worlds.

in the Marvel universe of your off menu,

but now that I'm here, I'm fulfilling some sort of prophecy.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

wow, absolutely.

That's powerful.

This is like one of the post-end game Marvel films.

The nuggets.

Do you know?

I recently learned that's not what they're called.

The nuggets.

The nuggets.

They're called Easter eggs at the end of a movie.

Right.

Oh, God.

I know.

I disagreed with you because I was like, okay, the nuggets.

What's the thing?

I don't know.

I've been calling them nuggets.

At the end of the movie, I go, I go to Nish, my long-term lover.

Is there going to be a nugget?

And he tolerates me, so he says yes or no.

He doesn't say, that's actually not what they're called.

But they're more called Easter eggs.

No, post-credit sequence.

Post-credit sequence.

Easter eggs are like

a film within all the way through little references.

Gosh.

So if you, I guess if, yeah, if you're referenced in an episode of Off Menu.

I'm an Easter egg.

Who am I in the future?

By the way, we're going to cut everything we've said before this.

And the episode is going to start with you saying, I'm an Easter egg.

Just poof.

A genie.

I'm an Easter egg.

But yeah, they're the But they're definitely not nuggets.

No, I've learned the hardware.

Now I want to start calling them.

Call them nuggets.

It's fun.

That's a nugget, guys.

Really smarmily turning to the rest of the cinema going, that's a nugget.

Oh, do you remember the nugget with Harry Styles in it?

I told you that being a nugget.

Yeah, with handsome Brett Goldstein, all these nuggets.

It's exciting.

I stopped a family leaving the cinema because Brett's nugget was coming up.

You said, my friend's going to be on this screen.

I said, guys, you might want to hold your horses.

There's a post-credits.

There's a handsome hairy man coming.

They sit down.

They watched it, and when they left, their dad turned to me and said, Thank you very much for that.

That's very decent of you.

That's so nice.

And you won't.

Great nugget, right?

Yeah, pretty good nugget.

Great nugget.

I really like that neither of you engaged with my weird horn for Brett there.

I think that was correct.

Well, listen.

Handsome hairy man.

It's not, I don't think he's even

stating the facts.

Yeah, yeah, it's not a personal horn, it's a societal horn.

Yeah.

It's a group horn.

Everyone knows you've got a long-term lover.

A long-term lover who also has a wonderful hand.

I'm a handsome hairy man.

Oh, absolutely true.

I am a dad.

Can we please, before we get into the menu, talk about your Edinburgh show?

Oh, yeah.

Thick skin.

I've seen the show and it's brilliant.

I've seen a work-in-progress version of it.

Oh, that's nice.

It was fantastic.

I laughed a lot.

Thick skin.

That's called.

Yes.

There's a point where I really did an old man laugh during the show.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh,

that really

laughs.

Tell us a little bit about the show, please, Amy.

Okay, it is about the 2000s.

Great.

But also, it's not really about anything it's quite silly it's quite goofy it's uh loosely about growing up in the 2000s how very much the fashion of that time is back we've seen the children they're wearing our clothes my clothes rather not your lovely t-shirts and hats um my trendy clothes from my childhood and it's very odd to see young girls who look like you did when you were that age like 1920 but are living in a very different time and are we the same are we different

I like it.

Comedy.

I'm really looking forward to seeing it.

I'm going to come to a preview because I'm not going anywhere near the Edinburgh Fringe.

I can't even imagine you.

No, no, thank you.

No, I can't wait.

We always start with still or sparkling water, Amy and Ed.

Do you have a preference?

What do you think?

Now, you can't do this for every question.

We've been to many meals, but have you

paying attention to what I've been choosing?

I think you've always had still water.

Correct.

Ding, ding, ding.

Yes, and tap, please.

I'm not paying.

I get furious when there's some suggestion that they're going to trick me.

Yeah.

Okay.

Still or sparkling.

What I want to say is free or pay and then let me go from there.

Sometimes they say, I said, just free, please.

Yeah.

Cheap, no money.

And then they say, oh, the sparkling is free because they do it themselves.

And then I begrudgingly, I will get it just for the joy of having something that normally costs money for free.

Even though you prefer still water.

Yeah.

I think a real theme of this is going to be me realizing I'm not well.

Yeah.

That happens to some people.

Yeah.

I was looking through my photos on my phone to remind myself of meals I've enjoyed.

Oh no, I'm not well.

I eat so much mortadella.

So much smoked ham of various kinds.

Okay, so what I want to investigate is, every time you eat mortadella or smoked ham, are you taking a photo?

It seems like it.

It's not necessarily what you eat all the time.

That's what's terrifying.

Those are the photos I took.

We must assume those times I just enjoyed a mortadella, no pics.

Sure.

And even if you are, why are you taking a photo of mortadella?

because i wouldn't say who am i sending that to yeah not i wouldn't say it's the most picturesque it's ugly looking thing disgusting yeah delicious

mortadella is great oh it's so nice i had some the other day actually from um dalesford oh wow it had it had pistachios in it oh i actually don't need a pistachio but i'm happy if it's there it was more a textural thing than a flavor thing yeah and uh i ordered some like it was on deliveroo i think and on like dalesford on deliveroo yeah it was on like a grocery app and i got it and my wife Charlie, was away.

And I was on tour, so I was getting back quite late.

And I'd just be getting back from gigs and having a little

antipasty.

Oh, that is chic.

Going straight to bed.

Mortadella, bedtime.

Bye-bye.

Mortadella in bed?

I think I draw the line there.

I have a very

greasy.

high self-awareness for bleak moments.

Sure.

And mortadella in bed might be crossing the line for me.

It sounds lovely.

Yeah.

But you'd have to get up.

You'd have to have wipes nearby.

You'd have to have wipes nearby.

There'd definitely be a bit where if I'm lying on my back eating mortadella, where I dropped some on my chest, then that would feel weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, sometimes there's stringy bits like around the edge.

If that goes in your tooth and you woke up the next morning, that's sad.

And I wake up in the next morning and there's a bit of mortadella next to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like you killed and ate Charlie.

I'm so sorry.

Just because she's quite pink.

Yeah, she's quite pink.

She's got the pistachios.

Yeah, for the past.

She's a pink lady with green flecks.

Yeah.

She does like lime green clothes.

Oh, but mortadella pre-bed.

That's nice.

So you have done mortadella pre-bed.

Oh, yeah.

In the house.

In the house?

In the bed?

Not in the bed, but only because my longtime lover Nish is weirdly a clean freak, despite every aspect of his personality that you are all aware of.

You know, because he's just like a sort of a jovial,

big energy, hairy, handsome man.

You've made him sound like Santa.

That's certainly in my head.

I'm thinking of the Muppet playing the drums.

Animal.

Animal.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I would.

So he would be very furious with food in bed.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

If I had my own bed, which I'm pushing for.

Absolutely.

One day.

Absolutely.

I can have food in that bed.

Crumb bed.

Love bed.

Two separate beds.

Two separate rooms.

Two separate rooms.

Crumb bed and love bed.

Yeah.

And Nish is never going in the crumb bed.

He wouldn't want it.

So he's setting up residence in the love bed.

Yeah.

And you're flitting between crumb and love.

He can't be in the love bed on his own.

That's sad.

That's sad.

He's got to have another bed.

You have to make a bed.

Well, what's his, what does he need a bed alone for?

Uh, what does what you would know more than

you two would know more than me?

Well, when we lived in a flat together, like just like maybe worrying,

prepare for worrying.

We can have a little worrying, a little worry bed, yeah, little worry bed.

Love bed is the one on its own.

Yeah, don't you dare bring the worrying or crumbs into the love bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also, I don't want worrying in my crumb bed either.

Especially worrying about that.

That's actually a place of pure bliss.

That's the best bed.

That's the best bed.

My crumb bed.

And in my mind, it's a divan, you know, like a sort of sofa bed situation, a day bed.

Yeah.

You know, so it's, it's kind of a reclining energy.

Is this where you want to have your dream meal in the love bed or the crumb bed?

Do you remember in Sex in the City or any New York representation of the 90s?

They would always take them to a club called Bed.

And there'd be like a big room with lots of beds in it.

And if I've made this up, wow, that Mortadella has gone to my head.

And it would be like the cool nightclub thing to do, sit in a bed, a white bed.

and i always thought i actually don't know if i like reclining when food is around when there are other people there yeah so am i alone in the dream restaurant or is there a blue genie looking at me whatever you want to you i don't have to be there i can magic it into the restaurant for you magic in and out yeah you need never deal with another person in the restaurant then who am i going to talk to about how nice the food is yeah that's that's true who am i going to make the noises to you've got to make the noises at someone yeah i mean i've had some fantastic meals alone but you are messing something if you're not making the noises at people and then you find yourself for example taking photos of everything and sending it to people yeah and i'm with nish when he's sending those photos to you so that is bleak so i know i don't want to be in a bed but i wouldn't mind a bed being nearby for after straight after straight after yeah pub loaves or bread pop loaves of bread amy and pop loaves or bread wow

i made amy jump yeah it's terrifying i haven't made anyone jump in ages but even people and they come in and they've not heard the podcast like

yeah

they just seem like i've lost my touch you've not lost your touch thing people are just like yeah of course this guy's doing you don't have to baby me I've lost my touch.

Well, baby, you got it back.

Okay?

Because I was shocked.

First out, pop-doms or bed because of all the chat we've just done about this.

Yes.

Do you want to do that?

Pop-doms or bed!

Pop-doms or bed, Amy and Nette.

Pop-doms or bed.

Bed.

Well, this I feel is a trap for me

because of my longtime lover.

I think you are trying to end my marriage.

We're not married.

But bread.

Oh, I love bread.

Loving bread is a huge part of my personality, I would say.

Too much.

In the pitches of Mortadella, there's often bread nearby.

Of course.

So good.

Photobomb in the background.

Yeah.

Cheeky little bread, trying to get in the photo.

Delicious.

Have you ever had the bread from Honey and Co.?

They give you a sort of little bread platter.

Have you been to Honey and Co?

No, I've still not been.

Oh,

fantastic.

I follow their Instagrams, and unfortunately for them, I have figured out where they live.

And I don't feel good about it.

What?

The people who own it.

Yeah.

Itoma,

and he has a wonderful Instagram.

very exciting, very passionate, very lovely.

But they keep, this is not my fault, taking pictures out of their window.

And I'm not going to say what it is, but there's a very clear local landmark out there.

So every time I go past their house,

I go, they live in the National Gallery in your story.

I love that food.

Oh, it's so good.

Talk us through the bread platter.

What kind of stuff is it?

Oh, you don't even really understand that these breads could exist.

That's how I feel every time I have them.

One is sort of sweet, but not malty.

And that's fantastic for the labne.

Oh, the labne.

The delicious cheese?

I think it's strained yogurt, maybe.

Like a...

Well, I'll tell you this, it's bad for me.

But I love it so much.

And they have a sort of pitter, but it's quite plump.

That's a plosive.

Plump.

Plump.

That's for them.

They'll tell you for a bed there.

He loves plosives.

He loves plosives.

Every night when I do my sound check, tour manager Paul tries to make me do a plosive

to check to see that there's no popping sounds on the mic.

And I've never used plump before.

What do you use?

Normally the story at the moment is

Pedro Pascal and Paul went for a picnic and Paul pulled his trousers down and Pedro called the police.

Yeah.

I try and bullied Paul within the sound.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That I immediately understood.

I was excited by the sexy Pedro Pascal imagery.

Yes.

Sorry, I got distracted by it.

So the plump pitter.

Oh, plump pitter, which is nice, right?

Because pitter, delicious in any situation, but sometimes can be on the flatter bread, which is, of course, another word for pitter aside.

Well, I think pitter,

my whole opinion of pitter has changed in maybe the last five years.

That's a great food revolution.

This country, this bloody country.

Speak on it.

It's just destroyed pitter.

Growing up with supermarket pitters, those drinks coasters that come out the plastic bucket.

I'm going to vote for you, Ed.

Thank you.

Because I'm excited.

This is my my manifesto.

You put the pitters in the toaster and then they come out and you try and tear them apart and they're hotter than the sun.

So hot.

So hot.

And then you see actual pitters where they're all puffed up and plump.

Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

It saves your life.

It really does.

Delicious.

Pitter pockets.

Pitter pockets.

That's just a plump.

A plump explosive.

A pitter pocket, very much my childhood.

exactly this you put it in the toaster it's burning hot you take it out you try and cut the top off you cut way too much you've ruined the whole thing steam everywhere and yet you persist and you eat it.

So yeah, delicious breads.

And then they have,

I wouldn't even be able to guess at the name of some of these breads, but they are so fantastic.

And they come in great quantity in a sort of semi-unasked for situation.

Correct.

Like I'm sure we're paying for it, but it just sort of pops up.

Oh,

where does the bread come from?

So unlike the water, you don't check that they're free.

How interesting.

I'm happy to pay for bread in my situation.

My dream would be free bread, of course.

Yeah.

Oh.

Bread for the table that just pops up.

Bread for the table.

Would you like that for your dream meal for the bread to pop up unexpectedly throughout the meal?

Yeah.

Different breads each time.

Does the genie have a sort of overview of how much gluten and dairy I'm eating for my own good?

Yes, but I can also take away the effects of that.

If you like.

So that's happened in the past.

Yeah.

In episodes, people have said, you know, I'm intolerant to this.

Can that not be an issue?

This episode.

Yep.

Can I not get full?

Yep.

Like any consequences of food that you'd like me

do yes please dairy uh but let's be real i i'm eat in real life i'm eating it anyway sure yeah consequences be damned yes well may i may i bring up one of the yeah consequences it's one of my favorite stories ever yeah it was a wonderful

yes yeah we were walking back from the cinema once yeah i can't remember what we'd seen you had to go into a basket in robins we've been to a nando's we'd been to a nando's yeah well have we been to the cinema as well i think we just went to the fulham broadway nando's yes Which is near a cinema.

Which is near a cinema.

Possibly we saw a show.

And then we were walking back.

You had to go into the Baskin-Robbins to use the facilities because no one went in there to buy ice cream ever.

No.

And you were in there for a while and you came out and out loud said, so sorry, Baskin-Robbins.

Yeah.

And that is a phrase.

that has now is just in my vocabulary.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

No, if you ever do a crime, let's say, in an establishment,

you have to leave the establishment and say, and you don't have to say, I just did a crime.

All you have have to say is, so sorry, the Acola Theatre.

Is that another place where it's happening?

I just honestly couldn't think of any other specific.

So sorry, close of offices.

So you want the whole breadboard come in at different times, surprisingly.

Does it come with, specifically this honey and coat bread, does it come with like little dippy things or little butters?

Oh, so what's crazy for me telling this story is I don't think there is butter there, but of course, my one true love, butter.

Butter.

Oh, salted butter.

I think because i came from the salted bacon the chocolate bacon generation do you remember there was a period of time what when you couldn't get away from chocolate covered bacon what this is a truth this is a central truth

this is part of my identity growing up there was just a moment in time where suddenly gastronomically everyone was very excited by the idea that you could cover bacon in chocolate now i am older than you amy so but i would still consider us part of a similar generation yeah i don't remember the the chocolate bacon generation that feels like peak ed I sort of know I sort of know what you mean yeah that that was like a bit of a it when things started turning a bit like dirty food or like

Elvis burger or anything else stuff like that but but it wasn't just like gross out over-the-top gluttony it was like almost quite not chic you know but certainly like uh this is this is progress this is future this is science

i honestly this is what i felt like when i listened to the timkey episode and you were making fun of him for having an egg timer in the pot.

And I was like, yeah, we'll have that egg timer.

It's not electronic.

It's a great gift for Christmas.

And I was like yelling at my phone.

So I'm sure there's someone out there being like, yeah, I remember the great chocolate bacon, Jen.

I think if you'd said, do you remember when you could get chocolate bacon?

Sure.

I think we would have glossed over it.

But when you referred to it as an entire generation, where you couldn't get away from chocolate covered bacon.

It honestly felt like for a period of time, you leave your door.

What's that?

Someone trying to offer you some gourmet

chocolate covered bacon amy lived in the self-ridges food hall yeah

well all i'm talking about is the salty sweet yeah i love it yeah i'm into it saltier the better so do you want salted some salted butter with a salty butter which is the only addition i would make to a honey and co uh mese bread platter unlimited salted butter oh yeah there's no consequences yes i just don't want to so sorry the dream genie fantasy toilet or she's going to be in a bed as well so sorry my fantasy bed tracy Hammett.

My day bed.

Yeah, Tracy Hammett.

I saw her the other day outside his offices.

What did you say?

I said, hello, I think you're brilliant.

What did she say?

She said, thank you.

Wow.

And then?

That was it, really.

Oh, yeah.

I was quite starstruck.

Did she recognise you as the great food podcaster of our generation?

Of course not.

I'll just say why James was outside the office because we had a gap in between recordings and he went to the bookshop around the corner to borrow a board game.

And could you?

Yeah, Jenga.

Jenga, not a board game.

No, that's not a board game.

But your board game adjacent.

Yeah, yeah.

Fills the same hole.

It's really cool.

Here's my question to you.

Did you see Tracy Emmon while you were holding

a thing of Jenga?

I was bringing Jenga back to the office.

Wow.

I think she would have liked that actually.

She dropped her to say hello.

She'd be a great guest on this.

That's what I said.

Yeah.

You just said I like your work.

Do you want to play Jenga?

Everything went out of my head.

Sure.

Just your brilliant straight at the office.

Could have asked her.

I don't know.

Could have said, hi, if you're around here.

If someone you didn't know who had a slightly odd vibe, no offense, James, came up to you holding Django and said, you want to be in my podcast, what would you do?

How close is my Edinburgh physician?

Sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next next time, check Lyft.

Trimble knows that in the industries we all depend on, where speed counts, every turn matters.

Trimble is the technology company that connects your physical and digital worlds so you can see what's coming, take intelligent action, and get hard work done faster than you ever thought possible.

Check them out at Tremble.com.

Ready to turn data points into decision points, turn deadlines into finish lines, and turn possibilities into profits?

Then turn to Trimble.

Tremble.

Confidence at every turn.

Ever wonder why you have insurance for your car or home, but not your digital life?

Meet Webroot Total Protection, your digital bodyguard that is built for real life.

Webroot takes the guessing game out of cybersecurity so you can confidently browse, bank, and be yourself online without the worry of hackers lurking around the corner.

With Webroot Total Protection, you get antivirus that scans six times faster and takes up 33 times less space than the other guys.

Identity protection with up to $1 million in fraud expense reimbursement and 24-7 U.S.-based customer support.

VPN protection that hides your IP address, personal data, and location from hackers.

And cloud backup with unlimited storage that works automatically in the background.

With plans for individuals and families, Webroot makes it easy to live a better digital life.

Go to webroot.com forward slash promo and get 50% off today.

That's webroot.com/slash promo to get 50% off today.

Live a better digital life with Webroot because peace of mind shouldn't be optional.

Your dream starter.

Yes, okay.

So, looking through my phone, as I said, looking at all the photos, I looked first through food and then I looked at photos of the two of you because I thought it'd be nice we could go down a trip down memory lane.

And of course, I famously take unasked for candid photos.

Yes.

Always.

Ed hates it.

I do.

I hate it.

He hates it so much.

Little creep shots for you.

After a party, I'm just going to send Ed a few pictures of him having a lovely time with his wife, not knowing he's being documented.

Normally from an angle that I look very unattractive at, and my mouth's halfway open because I'm saying something.

And I've got one eye shut.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a great photo.

Yeah.

That's true.

Well, there's no angle you look bad at, Ed.

Come on.

Yeah, from the right.

Really?

You know, like that.

Like that.

He's got it.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, the right.

No, left.

Your left.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My left.

Yeah, yeah.

That's where I am now.

You look lovely.

Ed, you have the the most symmetrical face of anyone in the world?

No, no, no, no, I don't.

You're a symmetrical boy.

No, one side's all right.

The other side looks like a honey and co-bread basket.

What, delicious?

Side I'm on.

Delicious, and I'm into it.

Yeah, cover it in laminate.

Oh, yes, please.

Hairy or not, I'm going there.

I'm going there.

Here's my question to you.

Honestly, I do believe that you are the most symmetrical man in the world.

Well, that's very nice.

Men, my mum, who you've both met,

asks after you, she says, how is the handsome man and his wife who used to wear the

What does your mum say about me?

She says, How is that pest, James Aker?

So,

before you'll start, you want Ed's symmetrical face?

Is that on the table?

No.

No, why am I being so sexual?

I don't like it.

Never, ever is that the dynamic of our friendship.

Never that you're sexual towards us.

No,

as soon as it's recorded.

I thought it's what the young people like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, when you say you're being sexual, I see it more like a sort of uh a 1950s comic you're more sort of like that

is it bars like

that is my true self i do i fun mum you've called me that before quite disparagingly yeah yeah he was being me you're acting like you were bullying makeup

maybe a comedian who might be on a bill in an episode of the marvelous miss mazel yes yeah yeah that show did come out quite close to when i started doing stand-up

i would love to have that hair yeah oh Oh, so bouncy.

My starter is mortadella three ways.

Mortadella, three ways.

Okay, and I think that's achievable.

Chicchetti, that is the Venetian small breads with various things on top, which your friend Chris, who lives in Venice,

told us to go to this bar.

Yeah.

Bar a la locroco crococo.

How did you did you write that down?

I wrote it down and I thought, I won't need to write that fanatically.

Well, you nailed it to begin with.

And then suddenly

you lost control.

I'm so sorry to all Italians.

If anything, this is the best advert for your show, though.

You are absolutely coming across authentically.

I'm weeping.

Okay.

Dreaming of this chiceti, let me tell you.

Wow wee.

That's again that 1950s person who's like losing their mind and then suddenly snaps back into it.

Boys, when I tell you about this chicetti, you're going to lose your mind.

So chicchetti is like tiny breads with various spreads or meats or fishes on top.

So good.

There is a few restaurants in London, like a chain called

Chicchetti.

Yes.

Have you ever said that name before?

Well, I have, but it was sort of an early running joke with me and Charlie that we would walk past it and for some reason pronounce it like this.

Shishi.

So now every time we walk past it, one of us has to say, shisheshi.

Yeah, yeah, that's the only problem with being in long-term relationships.

Yeah, you start a joke while we, that's gonna go for a long time.

You start a joke two years in, yeah, that's fine.

Well, 13 years later, still doing it.

Also, it's not a joke anymore, it's just what we call it.

But do you just name every place you go past?

Yeah, we go to shisheshu, so sorry, Baskin Robbins.

Please satisfy us.

So, what do you want on these uh shisheshi?

Mortadella.

So there's mortadella on there.

So it really opened me up to the idea, this chiceti place we went to in Venice.

Oh, so beautiful.

And there's little tables and you go up and then you try to speak a bit of Italian and then they immediately speak English to you.

It's so nice.

Yes, but we heard you try to speak a bit of Italian earlier.

I can only imagine how quickly they pushed into English.

They were like, shut up.

Shut this woman up.

And then you sort of point at the various things you want and they don't seem to judge you about how many you're ordering.

I want more.

And then they keep making them as well so you're like oh I just had some squid but what's that man doing that's mortadella

so he's like slicing the mortadella they pop it on the bread and then they give you a glass of white wine

so nice so nice and so I'd like the mortadella that I had there now I know Palma Ham is not a mortadella but if the genie should slip in a few sheaths

I wouldn't mind it

I wouldn't mind it at all.

And then my second way of mortadella

is a sandwich.

And I almost don't want to say this because of the Shak Fuyu of it all.

But when you guys mentioned Shak Fuyu for the first time, people went wild and went bananas.

And I no longer could get in for my solo green tea matcha cake.

And I could see those dweebos

having their gorgeous cakes.

And I was thinking, I should be me.

But there's a place in Vauxhall called Italo.

Have you ever been?

No.

I keep meaning to take you both.

It's called Italo Italo.

Are we sure it's called that yes no no i'll i'll send you a google map after um or other maps exist and it was they do these sandwiches that are so nice oh my gosh fantastic so they have they make i guess they make their own focaccia they have focaccia the sandwiches are so full they start making them from midday i recommend going there then and they have this chicken it was like a roasted chicken with rosemary i feel like it had aioli in it it certainly had like a sort of vinegary mayonnaise but not too heavy.

And it was on the focaccia, which was buttered or maybe oil.

Certainly, there was an uncrupus to it, you know.

And then the chicken, it was too big for the sandwich.

Oh my god, this is fantastic.

And it was roasted so succulently that the skin was slopping off, but in a good slopping.

Good slopping.

Good slopping.

Good slopping, slopping slowly off.

And so you had to sort of catch it with your mouth like it was an ice cream, but it was the skin of a chicken.

And it was crispy.

Thick skin.

Thick skin.

Oh, no.

Yeah, like my comedy show, Thick Skin, it was delicious

and worth buying a ticket for.

No, I would buy a ticket for this sandwich any day.

Oh, wow.

And they also do fish finger sandwiches.

Like, they change what the sandwich is a lot.

That was a curveball for me.

Suddenly fish finger.

What suddenly fish finger?

What they do in Rome.

Just like a mama used to do.

Well, for some reason, I thought I need to make it clear that if anyone goes, they might not get the chicken sandwich because they change it up a lot.

And I was thinking, well, and also fish finger.

Yeah, well, that at least gives us an idea of the range of how much they can change.

Yes.

I'm sure it'd be the most bougie fish finger you ever had yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like your mama's fish fingers

i went somewhere

in um bristol called core i think c-o-r all in caps and uh the dessert there was this tiramasu i think it was the sicilian tiramasu where they make it with uh instead of sponge fingers it's with panettone

fish fingers I thought that's where that was going.

Yeah, we do, right?

I'm into it.

No, that's panettone instead.

And then they grate, like,

I think it was like Nutmeg and stuff on top of it.

And it was one of the best desserts I've ever had anywhere.

It was basically Christmas pudding, turmoil.

It tasted incredible.

And at my gig that night, I was there for four days.

And my gig, I told everyone, you have got to go and get this Turin Basu that.

That was your first gig?

Yeah, I said, you've got to go.

It's amazing.

And then my tour manager went the next day.

And I caught up in the email.

I said, well, and he said that they said that that was only on for yesterday.

And they haven't got it.

And the people are asking for so they were just really annoyed at that point yeah i i felt bad so i i respect what you've just done because i felt very bad yeah sending everyone to a place where that thing didn't exist you've got to tell them i had this amazing experience but i can't promise you that yeah yeah but if the people who run that restaurant are listening which i know they do listen to this podcast they said they did core in bristol ah please

put it back on the menu it's one of the best desserts i've had anywhere ever

probably they just had leftover panettone.

I think again, I'm going to reveal myself to be quite the privo, but often at Christmas, you'll have leftover panettone.

Because I love a panettone in the morning for lunch.

This bread.

It's sweet bread.

I mean, that also gives a lot of behind the scenes.

I love a panettone in the morning for lunch.

I do not get up early.

At Christmas, I'm not getting up early.

So hang on, there's, it's the sicheshi.

She with mortadella.

The mortadella shechi.

And then what what are the other two ways?

And then one way is this Italo sandwich, which I'm imagining they're doing everything that they normally do, but it's mortabella instead of chicken.

Instead of chicken.

God, I can't even imagine what that would be like.

Yeah.

Mortadella skin.

Oh, yeah.

Flopping off in a good way.

Honestly, they make everything that feels like...

I ate the sandwich.

Oh, a thrill.

And I thought there's nothing in this sandwich that isn't something I couldn't lay my hands on or make.

And yet there's no way

I could put it together like this.

Also, that is, because I think that about sandwiches that are that good sometimes where it's like they've perfectly roasted a chicken, they've probably brined the chicken, they've done all this stuff, they've made a butter for it or whatever.

Then they've baked bread, they've done this, they've made a different thing.

You're like, yes, I could do all of that, but if I did it, I wouldn't enjoy that sandwich as much because I'd be looking at it going, that's two days' work for a sandwich, exactly, and then it's done, and I can go shop and get it.

Yeah, and the economies of scale just doesn't add up.

And what's your third Mordadella?

Rolled up like a rose

on a platter.

You understand what I mean.

I don't need to explain it.

You know, in Modern Family, there's this moment where Jay is being given a charcuterie board by Manny, our good friend Manny, and Manny says, This is charcuterie.

And Jay goes, This is charcuterie?

I've been avoiding this on menus for years.

They're killing themselves with that now.

Yes, I do know that exact line because I say it all the time.

They, on the board, they just have this like gorgeous, it feels like a very American thing.

They're very good at boards.

They have like spreads.

They spread out the meat.

They roll up the meat.

They make it look like a rose.

You know, you feel bad picking it up.

That's the kind of I want that.

Fancy mortala roses.

I want multiple smoked meat mortadella if I have to maintain my three-way mortadella starter choice, which I respect the rules, then I will.

I mean, that's the rules that you've just made.

You are respected.

I respect my own rules.

So I would just like as many hams, but not that honey-roasted wafer.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Good stuff.

We're talking mainly the Italian hams, aren't we?

We're talking about the ones that really are bad for your heart.

Yeah.

May we stray into Spain and pick up a bit of a berico?

Oh, I should love that.

Ham on a berico?

I should love that.

We was to shave it off the leg a bit.

That's probably my favorite of all the bad heart hams.

Oh, such a good bad heart ham.

Yeah, it's really great.

So, mortadella is my favourite, but I think some of it is nostalgia because growing up, my dad, who's American, was very into bologna.

This is what I was going to ask.

Is bologna basically like a cheap mortadella?

Exactly, this.

Yeah.

Bologna is, well, this is the truth I'm about to say.

This is a fact I'm going to say, but I actually do not believe it to be true.

It is the ends of all the meats, schmooshed.

And that is, that is bologna.

It's like the good stuff went to sausages, the better stuff went to the ribs.

Yeah.

Do you make ribs out of?

They don't make ribs.

I think ribs are.

The ribs are there anyway.

Made of ribs, aren't they?

Listen, I'm just, I'm eating it.

I'm not making it.

Okay.

In any case, the stuff that is not fresh or good gets professionally turned smooshed into bologna.

Yeah, into like weird paste, weird pink goop, and then put into sausage shape.

Yeah.

Or disc, perfect for your zammies.

Or

bear shapes.

Yes.

Billy bear ham.

That I do think is quite macabre for some reason.

Yeah.

Why do we give the children the bear-faced ham?

Yeah, it's really weird.

And the fact that when it's sliced, it's the same face all the the way through yeah and then i always imagine that the last slice you cut it off and he's got a really sad face you finished you finished him off yeah because you finished him off all his father's friends are dead oh he's packed him with his friends each slice is a friend yeah oh that's sad yeah but i did love i did love that as a kid i bet you did yeah of course did you do that while you were dressed as a pirate

The other day, James told me the story about him being dressed up as a pirate as a kid and I couldn't believe I'd never heard it before.

Yeah.

But you told me you did it on another podcast.

So I feel like it's...

Yeah, I told it on Birthday Girls podcast ages ages ago, but I'd forgotten it until then.

I blanked out my memory.

And then they started talking about fancy dress.

And I remembered that when I was a kid, I had a pirate's fancy dress outfit.

And every now and again, I'd just put it on and then walk around the house referring to myself as Scallywag.

Scallywag.

I'd jump up from behind the sofa and go, aha, it's Scallywag.

I've stowed away on your ship.

And they'd be like,

I'd always have stowed away.

And they had to be cross at me and go, oh, no, Scallywag.

They had to be cross at you.

How did you get on board again?

I hid in the rice.

And And then I'll be walking.

I'll be hiding some sort of cargo.

I'll hid myself in some sort of cargo box.

This is a merchant ship.

He's on a merchant ship.

Ferrying rice.

Ferrying rice.

I was topless of a sculling crossbones waistcoat.

Yeah.

I had red and black striped, tattered-like trousers.

Which I think is amazing that you had such good costume.

Yeah.

And then just

a brown woolen flat cap that was knitted for something else that wasn't part of the gunbox.

The costume ran out.

And a drumstick.

I'd hold a drumstick.

I'd walk around and go, scalliwag's here.

With your billy bear hand.

With my billy hair.

No, never eat a billy bear.

Have a scalliwag.

Can't you see that?

I love that.

I love to hear about scallywag.

I know.

Yeah.

I was stowing away on the ship and there wasn't really much to the game.

I just walk around taunting them about how I did it.

I did it again.

I got on your ship again.

Your sense of humour has not changed since then.

That's exactly what you did.

I did it.

Yeah, yeah.

I did it.

I stayed away.

So

I was in the rice.

Oh, delicious rice.

Yeah, yeah.

And then how does it end?

My memory of it is it would peter out into me just wearing that outfit but being myself.

Sure.

So sitting there watching TV with them all or doing something, yeah, eating my dinner.

And I'm just sitting there in a pilot costume.

That's nice.

What trauma do you think you were exploring?

Not enough.

Not enough.

Obviously, I mean,

if I sat down with a psychiatrist, they might say that I felt unwelcome in my own household and I felt the need to taunt them that

I was there, and then that made me feel better.

That made me feel like I'd won.

Yeah, and they were giving you too much rice.

Yeah, it does feel like rice is actually quite a deep part of this.

I stowed away in all that fucking rice.

It was easy.

Oh, God.

Piles of goddamn rice.

Half the rice back there, Bob.

Take this rice out of my room.

You know what?

Once I'd like to stow away in some pasta,

is that too much to ask?

Your dream main course, Avi.

Well, you're talking about pasta reminds me of my central truth as a child was to find a way to eat buttery pasta at every meal without insulting everyone around me.

And how did I do that?

Yes, I read a book in the library, a shelter book, which doesn't make any sense, a homeless charity, but it was about food and how food is made.

And there was a big thing about dolphins, and there was a huge thing about battery-farmed hens.

Now I'm saying out loud, I'm thinking, I read more than one book.

I've mixed that up in my head.

But for some reason, I was like, oh, I'll be a vegetarian.

And I wish I could say that I did that to save the animals, but truly I did it because I realized if you were a vegetarian, you could just have buttery pasta.

And in fact, you'd be doing whoever was hosting you a favor because they'd be like, oh, we've cooked all this meat, but it would be nothing for me to just have some buttery pasta.

You know, you go at your friend's house.

Their mother's cooked a delicious lamb meal.

I don't want that.

I want buttery pasta.

So I'm like, Susie, oh, I would adore to eat your lamb meal, but I'm a 12-year-old vegetarian.

Just some buttery pasta will suffice.

I loved it so much.

And also, it's my primary school.

They were obsessed with serving shepherd's pie.

Yeah.

Shepherd's pie made at scale.

Yeah.

No, it's no good.

So that was when I thought.

vegetarian stuff for me.

Say to the dinner ladies that you wanted buttery pasta.

I said, Susie.

Susie, my love.

Yeah.

Nice to see you again.

Susie, your moussaka looks gorgeous, but unfortunately, I read a book by the Homeless Charity Shelter which tells me I cannot eat your meat.

And I would just have whatever vegetarian thing they had, which would often be like a sort of buttery angel hair pasta.

Oh my God.

Or thin slices of white bread with a sort of swipe of butter on it.

And I'd have that with some orange squash and I'd be so happy.

So is this your dream main?

No,

this is just my trauma because James shares some of his daughters.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Look, some people have hacked this podcast yeah and added a pasta course before the main course oh that's so chic so if you want buttery pasta oh i would love that as your pasta course we'll let you have that because that would be nice story is very compelling because actually my main is incredibly meat heavy and that is my own personal journey quick question about the pasta phase yeah were you actually a vegetarian hard to say

because like at home it's not hard to say At home, were your parents like, you're eating bologna.

You're not eating buttery pasta.

You don't know your body.

I revealed that in my childhood I ate bologna.

Yes.

So I was a vegetarian and I did at one point tell my parents I was a porcupine.

Sorry for doing that while you had your mouth full of water, Ed.

It sounds like what like Stifler would refer to himself as.

It doesn't sound good.

Under religion.

I will say that when

my dad finds it so funny that I did that, but he never tells a story in a way that doesn't sound weirdly like he is in stiff, he's about to bone Stifler's mom you know like he's very wait it's not stiffless mom no yeah it is stiffless mom yeah stiffless mom well so who's the guy who bones stiffler's mom uh

the guy who shits himself all the time yeah who can't go for a shit at school

shipbreak

the guy who can't go for a shit at school it's crazy to me that you can remember this but you can't remember chocolate covered bacon yeah because it was the same time

okay i was 13 and i watched american party you think i'm ever going to forget that no no i know you you haven't watched chocolate covered bacon in cavin that would have had the same effect on me i wouldn't remember it yeah that would be that'd be everything um in my dad's stiffless mom's retelling of my childhood he's always like and then she came after me and she says i'll only take sausage he's american and he doesn't know he's kind he doesn't hear it he doesn't hear it um so there was yeah a period of time where i thought okay turns out i do quite like the heart painful meats the heart hurting meats and i do like sausage so i am a vegetarian except for i eat the most processed meat available um And then I went to Katie Balcombe's Bat Mitzvah and passed around on a tray was some chicken skewers.

You weren't going around a Bat Mitzvah saying you were Baukatarian, were you?

No, I could read the room.

Okay.

I will say, this is a very liberal Jewish area.

I'm sure there are a few Baukatarians in the room.

But not at the Bat Mitzvah, of course.

You know,

not on the day of the Bat Mitzvah.

We're not having pork.

But so we're in some sort of West Hampstead venue.

I remember we, and she was walking around, probably not Katie herself, but let's imagine that.

Katie herself walking around with, and it was a maybe like chicken on skewers with a bit of peanut butter.

We understand that.

That's a, that's a classic.

I tried that and I thought, this is chicken.

This has been chicken the whole time.

They're ruining themselves with that name.

Yeah.

Jay.

Oh, it was so good.

So then you became a chicken borgatarian.

And then I was with my friend Rosie and she had a hamburger.

And I thought, well, that does look good, actually.

And I think that was probably when I stopped pretending that I was vegetarian.

Okay, because I thought we were going to get your introduction to every single meat there.

I probably could.

Chicken pook or beefitarian.

Chicken pook or befitarian.

Well, what other meat is there?

Lamb.

Lamb.

And you've already turned that down, of course, in the Shepherd's Pie and

your friend's house.

A lovely lamb, don't you?

Lamb shouldn't be minced.

Interesting.

Why shouldn't lamb be minced?

It's too precious a meat to be minced, my hot take.

It should be presented in a sort of shank

on a platter in Wales.

So I got my vegetarian buttery pasta and then my actual main is beef tartare.

And that was my great journey to go from never eating meat to being like, I really like tartare.

I like raw.

I like it raw.

The meatiest of all the meats.

And is it from a particular place, this beef tatare?

Well, again, looking through my photos on my phone of food I'd eaten, the real theme was mortadello, beef tartare.

Yeah.

Which I do think I'm not okay.

Looking back, there's very few pictures of salads.

But who takes a picture of a salad?

Well, who takes a picture of mortadello is also the question.

Me, baby,

me, baby, and many times.

I actually screenshotted them all, so I could show you after.

One is just a hunk of mortadella in a butcher's.

I don't even appear to be in the butcher's

in the photo.

I'm outside the window,

zooming in.

Oh, I love it.

But no, bifata, I guess, probably in I'm in Paris,

and I'm really impressing the waiter by choosing it.

They call it there, I think, steak hash.

Yes,

shageri.

But it's so nice.

Though I actually like the one that is more like sashimi.

You know the like tartare that comes in.

It's almost like a mush.

I'm sure they call it something else.

And there's also one where it comes in, it's like very finely chopped, almost like a sashimi.

I think I prefer that one.

So I like sake tartare a lot as well.

I'll normally get it if it's on like a classic menu.

And you get the main size.

Yeah, I'll get the main size.

Or I just think the starter size is never big enough.

I mean, I have on a couple of occasions got the main size for my starter.

Yeah.

Which is a hack.

You can just, if you're paying for it, you can just order what you like.

Sure.

So I just get the big one.

You know what's better when someone else is paying for it?

Yeah, that is good.

You really can.

But then if someone else is paying for it and I start going, you're paying for it, aren't you?

I'll be having this main for my starter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right.

You've got to order it.

You've got to roll the dice.

You've got to roll the dice, exactly.

So sometimes at places they do it table side.

Oh.

They bring it over and they mix it all up for you and they ask you what you want in it.

So take me through.

When they put all the stuff in it, what do you want?

This this is when the way to get sad because i don't want tabasco okay that's fine yeah but that's i think that is the better way to do it the sad thing is it's meant to be like a lot of french food is a sort of protein that is a vehicle for flavor that is different so like your snails are your vehicle for garlic butter your steak racher is your vehicle for tabasco pepper what else would you have on salt and pepper capers capers yeah maybe maybe little gherkins i'm mad in saying egg yolk no you're not at all 1000 egg yolk.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm all in for the egg yolk.

Yeah.

Two eggs.

Like diced chalote.

Daichalot.

Dicalot.

Moudarde.

Oh, mouthard.

That's French for mustard.

All of those things.

I just go with all of it.

Do you?

Yeah.

I should do that, but I weirdly like the bland, raw meat.

Yes.

Oh, dear.

Do you think you might be turning into a werewolf?

Yeah.

I'm certainly.

If I went to a restaurant with someone and they were like, steak tartar, I want a big steak tartar.

And then the waiter comes over and goes, what can I add?

They go, just the meat.

I'd be like, right.

There's been a full moon.

Yeah.

Or she has some sort of huge iron deficiency.

Yeah, there's been massive iron deficiencies.

I do sometimes worry when I look back at my food, I'm like, what vitamins am I trying?

Am I like clawing in?

And often they come with little sort of thin toasts, etc.

Is that what you want with them?

And thin chips.

Yes.

Yes, I want them.

So the fries and the toasts.

Bread, chips, ash.

Yes.

Yeah.

Meat.

Sometimes they have a very thin sort of salad, the thinnest.

Yeah.

But with

some of the strongest vinaigrette you've ever had.

Really punchy mustard vinaigrette.

Yeah.

Ding, ding, you're awake, which is good because you just eat a lot of bread.

Oh, I love that.

I think I really like French food.

It just doesn't like me back.

So sorry, French food.

Yeah, French food.

Yeah.

I think that's fantastic.

Steak tartare for the main.

I think chic.

There's a thing that Bao do in the King's Cross one where it's like,

it looks like a tartare because I think it's like a beef rice, but they build the rice ball and then on top of it, they have like slices of the raw beef.

With the egg on top.

And then an egg on top.

And it's slightly, not sticky, but it's like, it's held together somehow.

Oh, that's good.

I've seen a picture of it many times and think, I'd like that.

And then I've never got it.

Oh.

Yeah.

So I've got to go and get that.

Got to go get that.

Careful.

There might be a pimate in that rice.

Scallywag, you've done it again.

Scallywag comes out.

Stowed away to bow.

The egg stays on his head as he

emerges out of the rice.

Ah!

Hey, Skellyworm, I stole the way of the rice.

Oh, Skellyware.

Can I have an honourable mention?

Yeah, yeah.

For my main.

Yeah.

Have you been to the region, the

full English cat, like the calf in Pimlico?

No.

Oh, my gosh, it's so fantastic.

It has pictures of various boxes up.

That's how you know it's good, is what I'm trying to say.

And they've all been there.

And it's you, it's an old cafe, like a, well, I don't know how you describe it because you don't, basically, you get in the queue.

There's lots of Formaka tables.

Four-maker?

Nice old table everywhere.

And tile.

It's great.

And you get in the queue and then you get very stressed because it's about to be your turn.

And then the man nicely yells at you and says, What do you want?

And then you have to say, Two sausage, one bean, egg.

Yeah, panicked and said, one bean.

Two sausage, one bean.

And I always found it so stressful, but I love it.

You fucked up and asked for one bean.

And he would throw me out.

He would throw me out.

He'd say, you one bean, bitch.

You get out of here.

No, no, they're charming.

They're charming.

They're charming.

I don't want to give them a bad rap.

They're kind.

Yeah.

Okay.

You know, they're gross, but they're kind.

They're going to be a bitch if you go.

But they're busy and they, you know, they're busy.

There's cap drivers in there.

There's tourists in there.

There's a lot of energy.

You can't sit down until you shouldn't sit down until you've ordered your food.

Right.

They get very annoyed if they see you sitting down before you.

No holding tables.

Yeah.

Keep it moving.

The food is so good.

The orange squash to die for.

Tea in a big urn.

Yeah.

Oh, and the sausage is great.

Oh, no, I'm going to die young.

I eat so much meat.

No regrets.

It's delicious.

So is that your honorable mention for main breakfast from the region?

The region.

Lovely.

Oh, it's so good.

Benito's just googled it.

It's called The Regency.

Thank you, the great Bonito.

And I will tell you, the only reason I wasn't sure is because I used to work with the girl who would take me there and she'd call it the Rege.

Uh-oh.

And I didn't think I had the aplomb to pull that off.

So I just guessed how it ended.

Yeah.

The rage.

I loved it.

I'd say, yeah, to the rage.

Yeah, that's great.

Please.

And then I'll sleep at my desk after.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

I'll brand a new phone with Verizon.

Yep.

Get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check lift.

Dream side dish.

Grape salad supreme.

Do you need me to explain that?

Yes.

No?

Grape salad.

So I know what it is.

Grape salad supreme.

So we don't need to explain that.

Grape salad supreme.

Absolutely.

Keep it in delivered.

It is a side dish at my family's Thanksgiving, which I for a very long time thought was a classic North American side dish.

And then I took it to my friend Monica's Canadian Thanksgiving and she looked horrified.

And it turns out, no, it's just something that is quite unique to my North American family.

Yes.

It is grapes, pineapple, not fresh.

Don't give me that shit.

From a tin.

Tin.

Tinned pineapple because you're going to use the juice as well.

The juice from the tinned pineapple.

Grapes halved, quartered if you're crazy and you don't have enough grapes whipped cream mayonnaise more than you think sour cream and if you're crazy we don't do this marshmallows right we don't do marshmallows because we're not crazy we just do mayonnaise and whipped cream it's into the phrase mayonnaise more than you think is interesting yeah because i would have thought less than no mayonnaise yeah more than you think yeah zero in that ninety mayonnaise nice dessert you were describing yeah yes and this is the truth it it begins as a kind of fresh wonderful fruit salad it ends as a savory side dish, perfect for your torky.

Well, this is the interesting thing.

This is the one thing where I think North America and the UK have quite a lot of crossover in terms of what they enjoy in their palates.

But when it comes to this sort of thing, no, no, no.

This marshmallow business, this fruit and mayonnaise, the word salad is treated quite disgustingly.

That's crazy.

That is rich coming from this country.

Come on.

Sorry, I know I don't sound North American, but I'm furious on behalf of my kins.

Salad in North America appears to mean it's got mayonnaise in it.

Absolutely.

What salad in this country?

Egg salad?

Tuna salad?

Mozilla salad?

No, no, no, no, no.

Potato salad?

Potato salad?

Potato salad, but that's American.

What's a British salad?

Well, like leaves and vegetables and dressing.

That's not British.

That's French.

That's Italian.

Yeah, but that's what I think most people would assume was salad.

Jellied eels.

That's what you eat in your salads.

Oh, yeah.

No, you're absolutely right.

And also, my Thanksgiving meal is very much based on my grandmother's like chefing and she is very much from that 1950s innovation.

Gelatin is an ingredient.

Yeah.

So she's never served me anything in aspect, but I'm sure she absolutely did.

Jell-O.

Jell-O.

There is an like, I think it's a American salad, which is jell-o and green beans.

Even that's a little too far for me.

Okay.

But the grape salads of Bream, now that is delicious.

I don't, you know what?

I've never, I've never tried it.

In my head, I could not be convinced to enjoy it.

I'll make you some.

Yeah.

I'd like to try it.

Do you think I would enjoy it if I don't think I can get over.

You don't really taste the mayonnaise.

What a selling point.

I mean, why is it in there?

Don't worry, you don't taste the mayonnaise.

I have to tell you mayonnaise is in it because I think it's a crime probably not to.

But I wish I could just say, try this delicious salad soup bream.

Is it sweet or is it sweet and salty?

all your favourite things i'm the generation the generation of the chocolate bacon um it is well it's grapes in various white liquids isn't it so yeah it's quite sweet you're really selling it's so nice and it's so good with like a very um sort of uh heavy meat

oh that would be good actually i now realize it comes from like a sort of my grandmother had a load of church cooking books you ever seen these like old north american churches had cookbooks and they'd get everyone to donate a recipe.

So it'd be some of the wildest stuff you've ever seen.

And we cook a lot from them.

That's fun.

There's a cookbook store in New York.

It's so nice.

It's in the Lower East Side and I bought a series of self-authored cookbooks where women in the 1970s and before had like printed their own picture cookbooks.

All of them have an aunt on the front looking angry with a mold loaf.

It's fantastic.

A meatloaf rather, not a mold loaf.

That would be crazy.

They don't have a mold loaf.

It's so good.

Because I made, you didn't try it when I brought it to your house.

Well, I mean, I will try it next time you make it because I would like to make you both of them.

I'll see what it's like.

But weirdly, I'm put off it more that you can't taste the mayonnaise

because I was like, oh, that sounds like an interesting thing.

I wonder what that will taste like.

But now it just sounds like it's going to be a nice dessert that every now and again I remember has mayonnaise in.

Yeah.

And it might make me feel weird.

You can taste the mayonnaise.

Okay.

Also, you would have it on the side of a savoury dish, right?

Yes.

So it's turkey.

Yeah.

Potato, grape salad supreme, really.

There's nothing else.

Maybe a broccoli if you're crazy.

The flavour hole it's filling really is like a sort of sweet like chutney cranberry sauce type thing maybe yes i think the flavor hole

of mayonnaise we as a as a culture this is my north american side we don't want salad to be healthy right okay sneaky salad i love a salad in new york in america oh you get a salad it's covered in the most delicious dressing of all time well this is a salad of course oh this is a salad yeah a wedge salad yeah oh an iceberg wedge with the blue cheese and the bacon bits yeah

even what, like a chopped.

I have not eaten enough.

A chopped salad with

blue cheese and egg and all of that.

Cob salad.

That's just meat.

That's good salad.

And chopped up.

Yeah.

I like all those things because they've got like leaves in and some veg.

Oh, so you like to pretend a bit?

Yeah, I don't want a salad I can dollop.

Yeah.

That's insane to me.

You've had an episode where you keep your head in your hands and going, I hate so much meat.

Oh, okay, a salad.

Grapes,

mayonnaise, whipped cream.

I know.

Dream drink.

Thank you.

I've already mentioned the delicious squash at the Rege.

Yeah.

And I do love a squash.

I think that comes from school.

Nothing better than a cold orange squash in those plasticky cups

with the ribs.

But my...

Sort of for this feels like quite a fancy meal.

I'm having tartar.

A white wine.

Because I often forget what I've enjoyed.

I recently went to Brat, the one in Shoreditch, which I know many people on this percussive reference, and it is delicious.

It's fantastic.

The gorgeous various meat rices.

Wow.

We went with some fancy people, just Americans.

Yeah.

Just two Americans, we know.

And the wine person came over and said, what would you like?

We said, white.

And then they kept asking us for like description words so that they could choose us the bottle.

It was like an escape room in that we could not find the word to unlock them to go away and find us a wine.

They were very, they were trying, I think they were trying to give us a great experience.

I don't fault them for doing this.

But the person said,

dry.

Yeah.

Fine.

No.

The sommie would not leave.

The other person said, funky.

Oh, no.

Well, that's not going to leave.

First of all, disgusting.

I don't want that.

What a big swing.

Huge swing.

But honestly, we were just like, how can we make you leave with love and professionalism?

Someone said, crisp.

And then eventually I said, Sicilian.

And they walked away.

It was huge.

Yeah.

And never came back.

And never came back.

And it turned out.

They they didn't work there.

They were just trying to get an autograph from Jason Manzukas, who we were having dinner with.

So

you want a Sicilian white wine for your dream meal?

Yes.

I think I want a Sicilian white wine.

But then I went to Noble Rock the other day.

I do go to nice restaurants.

You weren't even there.

Yeah.

Wow.

I've been there.

Yeah.

I think we went because you told us to.

It was so nice.

And they have a crazy wine list.

Well, they're so long.

Wine's their thing, right?

Absolutely.

That one felt less pressure to to impress the person.

Yeah, so a Sicilian white, which I think there's one called like Cattarotto, which is quite nice.

That's actually quite accessible.

Yeah.

But yeah, I like it.

I don't like a very dry white wine because I get heartburn.

Some other words that you could say to maybe make people go away.

Yeah.

Minerally.

That doesn't even sound like a real one.

Slate.

Say that.

Volcanic, anything from the volcanic regions?

Because that's Sicily.

Yeah, yeah.

That all makes you sound impressive.

And I don't really know what a lot of that means.

Wow, yeah, you can have stuff that's sort of made near Aetna.

Yes, I would love that.

Really?

Yeah,

these are all words I just pick up and then I throw them in just when I feel like it's right when I'm talking to a wine person.

But what if they ask you follow-up?

They don't, they know.

They don't.

They don't know.

People who know about wine aren't interested really to hear what you know about.

You've just got to negotiate the conversation by saying the right sorts of words that don't set off any of their alarm bells so they can then tell you what they know.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

So that, so I think you and I are the wine choosers often at our days.

I think you and I are the papas

of the group.

Puppas of the group.

We are the papas of the group.

And I, but I like to defer to you.

I find it quite stressful sometimes being the wine papa, though I am often the wine papa.

Well, I find it stressful as well, but

also don't want something bad.

Don't want something bad.

And then also I realize that quite often when we're together as a group, no one really minds.

So it's not like anyone's going to be.

I'm the other wine papa.

If you mess this up, the night is over, especially when we went out together on New Year's Year's Eve.

And instead of doing the wine pairing with the lovely meal that we had, with the specific wine pairing tailored to the meal, James instead had a cocktail with every course.

It felt great until I stood up.

Until it kicked in, yeah.

Until it was like New Year's itself.

And everyone else went out to watch the fireworks.

And I just sat down with the chef at an empty restaurant.

I was like, this place is brilliant.

I got a creepy photo of you doing that.

The one where I really was like, oh, I'm in trouble now was when I was just like, what's the one I haven't had yet?

We were still on the main like savory course, yeah.

And they were like, I haven't had that one yet.

I was like, Great, have that one.

And it came out, and it was basically Fruits of the Forest Gato,

seemed like mainly cream.

Yeah,

it just tasted like they'd blended, it was delicious.

I was like, I'm now having a pudding with my duck or whatever.

I'm in trouble now.

And then, I mean, you know, you made it past midnight, we got back to where we were staying, and then every time anyone got their phone out, James shouted at them.

Yeah, fuck a fight of wine.

Your dream desserts.

So I think my dream dessert is.

Sorry, do we not do them in French?

I love it.

I thought, was it French?

Well, I don't know.

I don't think dream is dream in French.

It probably is.

No, it's not.

It's rève, I think.

My good, education.

Wow.

I think.

I mean, I'm sure you're right.

That could also not be true.

I think it's right.

And I've just told you a complete nonsense word.

And you both just went, well,

I'll go and say that.

I'll say that it sounds like the sort of thing I would say is right.

Okay.

So there you go.

I love the crep

from the creperie in Hampstead.

Have you ever been?

No.

It's not a shop.

It's a stand, a truck, a little cart.

A cart.

It's a cart.

And it's right outside the Prince William pub, I think.

It's been there for years and years and years.

I went to school in North London and on a Friday, I would traverse North London to go to Hampstead to get in the line for the creperie.

Sometimes the people in the pub and God bless them, try to set up a separate stand because there's such a long queue for the original.

Do not be fooled.

Get in the original queue.

It goes faster than you think.

It's run by French people.

They speak French to each other.

They seem to be kind of annoyed that they have to speak English to you, even though you are in London.

Fantastic.

And they do most amazing crepes.

They do savory ones.

I've never had them because I'm only getting one thing.

I'm getting.

Mixed chocolate, which is milk chocolate and white chocolate.

They have the little, not squares, like almost like milky, but whatever I'm trying to say, discs.

Discs.

Tiny discs.

Tiny discs.

Buttons?

Yes.

Thank you.

Chocolate buttons.

Milk and white.

So they have them sort of fresh, if such a thing could be true about chocolate.

And then they put them onto the crep and then they melt.

Oh my God.

And then they use their sort of long spatula thing to sort of smoosh them around like a sort of galaxy.

And then I get the smooshed food.

Smoosh.

Smoosh discs.

Because even Tartare is kind of a disc.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, well.

um i'll die happy with the crep in my hand and the crepe is so good it's so light and kind of crispy on the edges it's just a lot of butter um and then i get banana in that and then they chop the banana in a way that only a crepperie can which is like sort of on a diagonal nice yeah long slices long slices using the same spatula that they just used to smoosh the chocolate um and then it's uh

with the spatula

which is like a sort of fold, fold, fold into a cardboard, into your hand.

Quite a lot of money.

So good.

yeah i'm always so impressed i mean watching people make a crap when people have mastered that art yeah it's incredible they should be paid more when they have paddle when they haven't it is if you're at a festival the thin like a music festival so and you and and then you get someone who was doing their first ever music festival and they're working at the crepstand

just so that i get free as soon as they start doing it And you can tell they don't know what they're doing, I want to say, forget it.

I'm not eating this.

Forget it.

It's going to be like £12.

Yeah.

And like three times you'll have to watch them, some like an old bloke come over and go, no, no, no, no, mess that up.

Scrape that down and go again.

Yeah.

You got to be ready.

Yeah, no, it's okay.

I didn't want to go and see the band on my way to see.

I just watched you fucking mess a crep up five times.

Oh, no.

And you're the king of crepes or pancakes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Pancake day.

I had a pancake day routine.

Huge, big, big routine.

Big routine for you, for me.

Huge routine for you.

It was big for me.

You were ready to shrive.

Yeah, yeah.

It was big stuff.

It was big.

That's probably your routine that I remember the most.

I know you've done stuff since.

It's the one when, you know, all of us went to latitude for like the first time.

We were all booked to do latitude and we're walking around and I absentmindedly bought a crap.

It was Nish just pointing at me all day.

Yeah.

As I was eating it, pointing me out to strangers, who, let's face it, didn't know me.

Yeah.

All that routine, going, hey, look at what he's, he's shriving.

He's doing some out of season shriving.

And then that's, I think that was the moment when Nish realised that the best way to bully me was to quote my material at me too strangers.

What's crazy is, I don't think I, I don't think even Nish and I weren't dating then.

No.

Just a motley crew of fools.

Fools hadn't happened yet.

Wow.

And I saw that and I thought, yes, it's my long-time lover.

Wow.

That guy really bullied that other guy.

That guy's present on my buttons

by bullying his friend.

Wow, out of season something.

Okay.

That's the area

for me.

I will have one more honourable mention for the burgers that we used to order in Parsons Green what were they called it was early days deliveroo like truly deliveroo just existed I'm not sure it's even a name it wasn't deliveroo it was on from their website on their own yeah chosen bun chosen bun chosen bun they were great oh my god they came in these like quite modern cardboard packets that like you sort of lifted there were these huge burgers and I don't I think it was like the first thing I'd ever been able to order on my phone without having to talk to someone, which I guess is like a key element of shame that stops you ordering some of this stuff.

And it got initially was a huge treat and then it became just became everyday.

Yeah, it's so much.

The burgers, the chips were really good.

The mac and cheese balls were really good as well.

Gosh, the chips were so good.

Fantastic.

Good old chosen bun.

So that's an honorable mention for your dessert, right?

Yeah, kind of a sort of delicious.

That's nostalgia.

I have anything for it.

Yeah.

The crep sounds lovely, especially the quality of the crep itself, because that really does, that's next level stuff.

Ideally, you want the Kreb to be so good, you don't eat anything on it, and then just pimp it out even more, make it even better with those buttons.

What do you have in a Krep?

Chocolate and banana is absolutely a winner all the time.

I don't like Catella.

I'd probably also chuck marshmallow in there and

you're describing a salad at my house.

Krep salad, baby.

You'd eat that.

But yeah, I think that would be my standard cooking.

Banana, chocolate, marshmallow.

I think so.

I mean, I think the best one I ever had, I can't even remember where this was, but did peanut butter, vanilla ice cream, and some sort of like jam, like strawberry jam.

And I just went full Elvis on it.

And I really loved that.

Chocolate bacon sticking out the top.

Yeah, yeah.

May as well.

What do you reckon I like in a crap, Amy?

Oh,

black pudding.

Yeah.

Exactly what I was thinking of.

Black pudding.

The potatoes from the Decatur parboil.

It's thinly sliced.

I was talking about stuff that's commercially available from a normal crep.

Oh, not your fantasy.

You are right.

Crep.

It's savory crep.

I'm going ham and cheese crep.

Ham and cheese, of course.

I absolutely love a ham cheese.

James cheese.

Yeah.

Waste of a crep.

It's not a waste of a crep, man.

It's delicious.

It's the same as, you know.

It's doing a different thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like comparing

ham and cheese croissant as well.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've got one as well, but

I need to be healthy.

When I see James with his ham and cheese crep, I know he's on the good.

side.

He's trying to be a good boy.

He's on the way to the gym.

Over Vijamen you back to you now.

Unless you have any more honourable munch and I'd like to have an espresso or martini

with my

crep, I guess.

Yeah.

And it would also take away the slightly childish nature of sort of like scoffing a crep with your hands if in the other hand you could be sloshing or martin.

Scoffing.

Scoffing and sloshing.

Sloshing.

And we've had slopping early.

Slopping.

Yeah.

Smooshing.

Smooshing.

Yeah.

We've had a very onomatopoeic management.

Poet who's going to die young.

Gorgeous.

Tap water.

Yeah.

You would like honey and co, platter

with salted butter popping up

throughout the whole meal.

The labne.

Labne.

Starter.

Mortadella.

Three ways.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're making fun of Amy, isn't it?

You're making fun of her, isn't it?

Yes.

Bully me again.

It was fun making fun of Amy for it.

Italo sandwich and rolled up like a rose.

Pasta, course, buttery pasta.

Main course, beef tatar.

Side grape salad supreme.

Drink a Sicilian white wine.

Yeah, because I'm chic.

Dessert, mixed chocolate and banana crep from Le Crepirie in Hampstead.

Le Crepérie de Hamstead is what Benito's written.

Is that what the actual place is called?

Or is he just

what it's called?

Crepri de Hampstead.

Well, I would call it the Hampstead Crepirie, but I like that you use the French phrase.

Yeah.

Well, that's what Benito's writing.

The Céprier de Hampstead and

and of course espresso martini of course amy thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant thanks for taking me there boys

thank you so much to amy for coming in what a wonderful episode james a wonderful episode i mean i was i think you can hear it i was smiling throughout you were smiling throughout which is rare yeah uh

it's also one of those episodes that we have different flavours of episodes and that that one was one where we're very familiar with the guest the guest is very familiar with us yeah so it it was immediately very relaxed and went off into some silly areas yes um i hope i hope that you know the listener knew what the hell we were on about

hopefully they did yes fingers crossed uh it's too late now they if they didn't they won't be hearing this bit yeah but yeah they won't be here so anyone anyone who is here yeah you get us you get us thanks for staying yeah amy's show thick skin is on at the pleasants courtyard right now as you're listening to it the edinburgh fringe is happening it's 25th of August also Amy didn't say nettle tea so we got to keep her in the restaurant yes I would have been very surprised if Amy had said nettle tea one thing that I had considered suggesting before I realized that net was in Amy's surname was uh thick skin like on anything like like ice pudding like custard skin yeah

or chicken skin and when she started saying about that chicken sandwich yeah with the skin on it slopping off slopping off yeah um I was a bit worried even though she didn't actually choose that sandwich she replaced it with her her favourite meat yes but you were a a bit worried because the secret ingredient might have been something else that you didn't pick.

Well, just, yes.

But you were imagining a completely fabricated situation.

Yes.

And worried about it.

Well, it kind of, I guess, yes.

That's my MO, but also.

A part of me is very disappointed when, you know, someone gets close to saying a secret ingredient that we didn't pick.

I'm like, oh, we could have kicked them out.

I could have been another person.

And Amy, you know, we know Amy very well.

Yeah.

So I would have been fine with kicking her out.

Easy.

Yeah, yeah.

No qualms.

Well, we didn't.

She lasted the course.

Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu podcast.

Goodbye.

Thank you for listening, Ed.

Oh, I didn't.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then-current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

If you thought goldenly breaded McDonald's chicken couldn't get more golden, think golder!

Because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here.

Made for your chicken favourites.

I participating McDonald's for a limited time.

Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah.

Go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube, sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes, but it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast.

That's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, badgering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

They can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok, at Off Menu Podcast on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes.

So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.