Ep 242: Carrie Brownstein

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

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Welcome to the off-menu podcast, shucking the oyster of conversation, adding the shallot vinaigrette of friendship and maybe a few drops of Tabasco humour.

That is it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a different guest.

We ask them their favourite ever start of main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is Carrie Brownstein.

Carrie Brownstein, of course, a wonderful musician, part of the band Sleeta Kinney, James.

Amazing band.

And also, I mean, one of the few people who has straddled both the world of music and sketch comedy.

With ease and with great success across both worlds.

Yes, with Portlandia.

Not easy to straddle with success.

Well, almost impossible, I would say.

I can't think of many other people who have done it.

And definitely who haven't, you know, who have done both to such a high standard.

I can't think of any comedians who've started doing music and it's been good.

But Portlandia's fantastic.

Sleet Akinia, fantastic.

And we're very excited to have Carrie on the podcast.

We are indeed.

Sleet Akinney's new album is out now.

It's called Little Rope, James.

Yeah, I'm very excited to hear it.

I'm a big fan of The Woods, their album, The Woods, as you know.

I was telling you about it.

I listened to it yesterday.

Yeah.

You told me yesterday, and I walked to my gig from these very studios and I listened to the album and I absolutely loved it.

Yes.

Right up my street.

Love recommended Ed stuff and he loves it.

I've got many streets, by the way.

So if you've not heard them and you're thinking, oh, it's right up Ed Street, it's going to be some horrible sort of Screamo

metallic hardcore album.

It's not like that.

But there's definitely some sort of discordant sort of

noise.

It's noisy.

Just how we like it here at the Off-Menu podcast.

We love noise.

Now, even though we love Carrie Brownstein and all of her work, if she says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable.

Just like all the other guests, we would have to give out the podcast.

Very sadly, we would have to do that, as is our duty.

And today, the secret ingredient is a thin bowl of Italian soda.

Very specific Portlandia reference

in the cinema concession stand sketch.

Yes.

We won't spoil the sketch for you.

You have to watch it yourself.

Yes.

Yeah, we would never spoil the sketch.

But a thimble of Italian soda.

Yeah.

Which, I mean, look, in Portlandia, they're skewering some of the more hipster tendencies of people in that area.

And with the food stuff, I do find myself looking at the foods that they mentioned on Portlandia as a joke and think, oh, I'd order that.

Yeah, you would have those.

Probably sums up what sort of person I am.

It does.

We all know Ed Gamble, but let's get to know Carrie Brownstead.

This is the off-menu menu of Carrie Brown.

Carrie Brownstein.

Welcome, Carrie, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

Welcome, Carrie Brownstein, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Really worried I was going to

get like toasts everywhere.

Yes.

We should say for the listener, shouldn't we, that James has just had peanut butter toast.

Right.

And I pointed out that that's something that I eat for breakfast often.

Yeah.

There you go.

And I never have it.

And I just felt like there was something inside me today.

We're very psychically connected already.

So we could do the show silently.

Yeah.

It would be unfair for the listeners, but we would get it.

Yeah.

It would be the best episode ever.

You would have to talk.

You're not connected with us.

Oh, that's true.

I did have some toast this morning.

Does that count?

It does count.

What did you have on it?

I put some marmite on it and some fried eggs.

Oh, that's a wild about that.

That's like speaking a different language to me.

Marmite, I can't know Marmite, but I will say I prefer it over Vegemite, both of which I've tried.

Yeah, Vegemite I can't get on with because it's kind of close to Marmite, but it doesn't represent my childhood in any way.

It's too close, but that makes it more different.

I like how you're pronouncing it Vegemite.

Like it's just full of veg.

Yeah, you know, it's a big pot of veg.

Yeah, big pot of veg.

How's it meant to be pronounced?

Vegemite.

I think it might be Vegemite.

Vegemite.

Yeah.

I'm sure the Aussies pronounce it very specifically.

Vegemoi.

Yeah, there you go.

There we go.

How did you get impressions?

Yes, great.

All the Australian listeners are just giving you a big thumbs up.

Yes.

When were you last in Australia?

It's been a second.

It's been maybe since 2016.

What about you?

Good question.

Great question.

Ted was last there.

Oh, you were really just there.

Yes.

Okay.

In May, yeah.

That's why I'm good at the accent.

That's the only reason.

Yeah.

Just the proximity,

the amount of time.

So recent.

Mine has faded since I've been there because obviously when I'm there, I try to really immerse myself.

Of course.

People appreciate that.

It's like when you go to France, you speak French.

When you go to Australian, Australian, you speak Australia.

Yeah.

2019 for me.

Okay, sorry.

I didn't ask you, James.

2019.

Yeah.

Also, like, annoyingly, like, it was like maybe

I went to Australia, then New Zealand, and then came back.

And then when I came back here, I started playing Pokemon Go

And

very annoyed that there were regional Pokemon in Australia and New Zealand that I could have caught if I'd started it just like a couple of weeks earlier.

Oh, you should go back.

And then, yeah, I had to go back.

You have to do it.

That quick little trip over there.

Yeah.

How far is it from here on a plane?

It takes about 24 hours, right?

Okay, yeah.

It's a little shorter from the US, but not much.

It's that surreal feeling where you've been in the air too long and it just starts to feel like you might never land.

I love that, though.

You do, okay.

Yeah, I love being enclosed on a plane, watching films.

Drinking wine.

Yeah, drinking wine.

Yeah.

He gets on the wines immediately, this guy.

Yeah, I mean, they say that hydration is better, but I do understand the inclination to just start drinking pretty quickly on a flight.

And then I had a layover in Abu Dhabi, I think it was.

Okay.

And

I was in the airport having a beer, and then I looked at the local time, and it was 6am.

And I thought, this has got to stop.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did it stop?

No.

No, no.

It stopped when I got to Australia.

I got back on a normal schedule then.

But the 6am beer at an airport did not feel good.

I don't know.

I know if you felt pretty good.

I know that he's just met you, Carrie, so he's trying to.

No, I said to smugness too.

It feels smug.

It feels like you're proud of yourself.

Yeah.

I felt good about it.

And I bet you're feeling good about the new Sleet Akini album, New Rope.

Little Rope.

Little Rope.

It was such a good link.

I was so it was just, yeah.

It said new album, Little Rope.

And what I've done as well is I've gone, there's a gig called Old Rope in London,

comedy gig that we do.

So then that's got in my head as well.

Oh, we're still connected.

It was a really great transition.

It was so good.

It was so smooth.

That was the problem.

He was so proud of the link.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That he then just completely dropped the ball on the name of the game.

You were like Icarus there for a moment.

Well, those are my favorite bits, right?

When people, I mean, not what happens to me.

I hated it.

But like, I love it when other people are really confident and fuck it up.

Yeah.

Yes.

So if I was you guys, I would have really enjoyed that.

Yeah.

Big applause here.

Little rope.

Little rope.

And then you can.

What the hell?

Was that making one of my goddamn actions?

Little rope.

Yes.

Little rope.

Apologies.

And of course, it's following up your.

I mean, you've had so many great sticky cleaning albums in the past.

The Forest.

Oh, The Woods, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

You know what the name of that album is.

You were telling me about that album yesterday.

Yeah, yeah.

I did it deliberately last year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's a good call back.

Yeah, yeah.

That's a little bit of fun for me.

Yeah,

we're excited that it's coming out.

Well, we, I have a bandmate, Corin, but I'm here alone.

And so I'm personally excited.

I don't want to sound like I split into two or anything.

And yeah, we'll be back to tour with it.

How are you feeling about that?

Do you like being on the road and touring with music?

I love playing the show.

I mean, you guys tour, so I'm sure, I mean, you have your own stories, but I don't love sleeping in a different bed every night.

I don't love the sort of disorientation of being on tour.

I get a little tired from that, but the shows themselves are great.

I just wish I could transport myself back to my bed every night.

Yeah, that would be amazing.

I used to love that.

I used to love staying in hotels and being in a new city the whole time.

Now, no way.

Can't wait to get back home.

I'm opposite.

Really?

You love being on tour?

I love

everything but the shows.

Yeah, basically.

Correct.

I know you said that as a joke.

I hate the shows.

And I love being in the hotels.

Yeah.

And I love service stations.

I love service stations.

I love being in the car, been at airports, all that.

I love it.

Really wish I didn't have to do the gigs.

The fans must love that, just knowing that.

Yeah.

It's pretty much what my entire new show is about as well.

So I'm saying it to their faces.

Are there any songs on this new album, Little Rope, that you are excited about performing live that you're like, oh, that'll be...

Or can you even tell before you've done them?

That's a good question because...

It's a good question.

Thank you.

So it used to be before everything was just thrown up on YouTube.

I don't know, like, do you preview material before you go on the road?

Stand up.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have to, we have to write it on stage.

So that's true.

Well, with music, we used to perform all the songs live almost before we went to the studio.

And they're not always done necessarily.

They'd be like, you know, temp lyrics or maybe

you'd end up changing like a bridge or chorus.

But you could feel what was great about it is you could test the songs.

Like you test, I guess your material on stage where you can feel the energy of the crowd shift so you think like oh this part is too long or this this bridge isn't working or this chorus isn't strong enough that was a good way of helping to like arrange the songs or know when you had to change something we don't do that as much anymore so I don't necessarily know we will probably test out most of the album live and then Every album has one or two songs that you just realize this is not going to work live.

But I think this one, there's only 10 songs on it.

We recorded many more, but we purposely purposely made it pretty succinct I think they'll all be good live they have a lot of energy and restlessness and all the all the things that make for good live music But hunt you down is it's a good one.

That will be an untidy creature.

There's a lot of Bangers on this album.

Just just a lot of things that have I don't know feel very explosive and galvanizing and those are my favorite to play so I think that's like any time I've had to do like I don't know some some sort of public speaking that isn't comedy.

Yeah.

I just feel without the laughs there, I don't know if I'm doing a good job or not.

Some comedians do shows where there's like loads of long bits with no laughs that are really emotional.

And everyone goes, wow, that was such a great show.

I think maybe I should try that.

And then within a minute of being on stage with no laugh, I'm like,

like armpit farting, just desperate to get the audience back on side.

Guys, please, I'll be so funny.

That'd be good, though.

I'd really like to see you do that as a routine.

You start doing emotional.

You start a really emotional bit and then start armpit

because you're panicking.

This essentially sums up my shows.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and that, I think that speaks to some things just, I mean, that's very, that's very real.

Like that is such a

childlike to just be like standing there feeling sort of figuratively very naked and exposed and just then doing something that so base

that you get some kind of positive reaction.

No dignity whatsoever.

Yeah, I'll also try armpit farting during during the sets after a slow song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your fans would want a really loud armpit farting.

Amplify, probably through a distortion pedal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, really discordant armpit.

Yeah, something with a lot of delay on it.

Yeah.

Really go for it.

So before we started recording, we talked a little bit about being a foodie.

Would you call yourself a foodie?

Would you go for that?

Well, I think what we were talking about is that that term feels divisive and something like a misnomer, because of course, like if you like eating,

I guess you're a foodie, but it has this connotation of suggesting that you only like fancy food or food made by a certain caliber of chef or a restaurant that's been rated

by a critic or sort of collectively named as best of.

But yes, I love food.

I like checking out new restaurants.

One of the reasons I like traveling is to find a local restaurant that it doesn't even have to be everyone's

critically acclaimed, just this is my favorite place to go in this neighborhood.

Like I like seeking that out.

So in that sense, I'm a foodie, whatever that means.

I like to eat.

Also, like you did Portlandia.

That is a very foodie city.

Well, it's because it's hipstery, I guess.

They got the foodiness.

Yeah.

Well, I think one reason Portland has great food is because it was, it's not as much anymore, but relatively affordable.

So you have these chefs that, you know, are entrepreneurial and innovative and they get kind of priced out of Los Angeles or New York or Chicago where it's just, it's more treacherous to try to start a business there.

So they come to Portland and they're, you you know, people really want a new restaurant.

You know, they're eager for cuisines and art haven't, you know, really made their mark there.

So you do get a lot of great restaurants commensurate to the size of the city.

Like I think Portland has as much great food as LA or New York, except that there's, you know, half or a fourth of the people there.

I had a pasta dish from Portland on my dream menu when we did our 200th episode.

You did?

What?

What was the, what, from what restaurant?

I'm going to say the name wrong, probably.

Magna Cuisina?

Cuisina?

I don't even know that one.

Well, there you go.

That shows you how much great stuff's in Portland.

Yeah.

Magna Cuisina.

That's

so good.

Downtown.

Yeah, they did the Mama's Crab Fat Noodles.

I don't know who Mama is.

So you like Portland?

Or you like their food?

Yeah, I like that.

I liked that pasta dish.

I wasn't there for very long.

I was there for my gig and then out.

Well, my experience was I had that meal.

The whole meal was amazing.

And then I got in an Uber and the Uber driver said to me, no alcohol in the car.

You can put that on the road.

That is not coming in the car.

And I was like, this is a diet coke.

And he was like, I think he'd pushed it further and said, I can read.

I know that isn't.

I know that's a beer.

And I had to show it to him.

And then he was like, oh.

And then I got in and then we were in silence for a while.

And he started being like, support that's crazy, right?

And I was like, man, come on.

I'm going to give you five stars either way.

Yeah, but that guy must have been through so much if he has to say no alcohol in the car immediately as everyone gets in.

Think of what that guy's been through.

As soon as he saw the cat, he was like,

I know what's going to happen.

Do you call those roadies in the uk no maybe you'll start calling them roadies i think in the us i think it's more of a texan term like you used to be able to have open container or we call it open container obviously that's fully illegal now but as a passenger you could never drink and drive uh but in texas at least everyone else in the car could be drinking yeah and you would just call it a roadie you would take the you know as you're leaving the bar take one for the road love it yeah bot for the journey bot for the journey yes Which one of our previous guests, Semini Atech,

that's what her family

who, and we said this to her face, all have a problem.

Call

taking a, when they go somewhere to drink, they have to have a bot for the journey which is a bottle for the journey.

Oh, so that you're, there's, it's seamless, so that there's never a break in the drinking.

You pre-game at home, bot for the journal, and then

I'd forgotten completely about bot for the journal.

I think about bot for the journey.

And I just stop and think about what he was talking about and then realize it was who it was from.

We all stopped still or sparkling water.

Do you have a preference, Kerry?

I put still for the sake of this meal.

I really think I love sparkling water, but I think still is a more neutral water.

I think the sparkling water lobby has really done one over on us.

I think still water is perfectly fine.

It is amazing that they've managed to, the sparkling water lobby, as you say, have managed to wiggle themselves onto the same level as still in a restaurant.

And you get offered both.

Still should be default, right?

Yes.

You should have to request sparkling.

I think so.

Yeah.

I think it goes better with food too.

Not all food.

I like Italian, like sparkling water is great with Italian food.

But I think for other foods, like Japanese, like I would much prefer still water.

I don't want sparkling.

It kind of it does something to the palate, I think.

Yeah, if you've got those more subtle flavors, sparkling water's attacking the palate, isn't it?

Yeah, just a lot of like zings and zaps.

I do love sparkling, like a refreshing sparkling water, especially with a lot of bubbles, like a topo chico.

How many bubbles are in a topochico?

That's like a contest for out of state fair where they

put it in the

one that comes closest, you would get like a pig to take off.

I couldn't tell you the actual number, but I would say a lot.

Millions.

Millions.

Yeah.

It's actually, it's come out that that way is it's unhealthy there's actually something in there that that's not um good for you I don't think I've had topochico before

I've never heard of it it's quite good when you next time you come to America check it out should I just have it straight away in the airport oh yeah right when you land yeah yeah yeah and then down it in one in the middle of the airport and then shout I love topochico really loud is that how I should do it yes that's

that's how they do it there

what do you imagine the people of the sparkling mortar lobby what What do you imagine they look like and how many are there?

Oh, that's interesting.

Well, I think they're well-dressed.

I feel like the sparkling lobby, they're well-dressed, like a crisp white shirt, maybe a

black, a blazer, suit jacket,

signature glass, statement glasses on a few.

Like really round glasses.

Round, yeah.

Where you're thinking like, you are right, shaped like bubbles.

Yeah.

Where like they could be, could be architects.

They want to think of themselves as creatives.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm imagining loads of them as well.

Oh, you're imagining loads.

I was imagining imagining like just five.

Oh, okay.

But you're imagining like it's, are they actually like bubbles just kind of just I wasn't daring to imagine anything yet because I wanted, I know it's come from you.

Oh, yeah.

I was imagining like

a small group that has a very powerful inordinate amount of power.

Yeah.

We're just thinking like, wow, these five people have really changed the way that we drink water.

Yeah.

And, you know, and then there's just one person that's wearing like a colorful tie, and that's the person that adds the flavor to the sparkling water.

Yeah, yeah.

you know just just a guy with like red glasses and like some like socks that are a little wacky yeah yeah and he's he was the first guy that said what if we added a little raspberry to this

he's like the ice him with like the steve wozniak of the great man he's the wozniak yeah he's the woz yeah yeah like he's coming up with a lot of stuff but like he's getting screwed guy yeah and there's like a lot of other people are taking the credit he's gonna write that book though that we're yeah he's the disruptor yeah It's going to be an Apple TV series.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Oh, the podcast first.

Then the documentary.

Yeah.

Then

the limited series.

I can't wait.

Also, I'm a bit tense now for the podcast.

I don't know if you noticed, but there's a point there where Ed said they would have round glasses.

And then I said, round-like bubbles.

And then Ed was like, yep, that's what I meant.

And listen, we're putting a good face on it now.

But when you leave, that's going to be a blazing round.

It's going to be really bad.

I set him up for

the cleverer listeners, and then you make it clear for some of the stupider listeners.

So that's fine.

Potlubs or bread.

Potlubs or bread, Carrie Brownstein.

Potlubs or bread.

Bread.

I lived in Los Angeles for a little while, and I was shocked at the lack of bread eating there.

I think bread is

grains.

I mean, how can we be denying ourselves this?

If I had to choose a daily choice, I would say bread.

And did you try and evangelize about bread in LA?

No point.

No point.

I was going to say, I'm not surprised to hear that people aren't eating bread in L.A.

It's just reflexive.

Someone comes.

I don't even know why they offer it anymore.

Like even at a restaurant where you should be getting bread, again, Italian food, you know, that's just common.

You just, in America, at least, I know in like proper Italian restaurants, even actually in proper Italian restaurants, you get some bread.

They come, would you like some bread?

Everyone declines.

And I just, I...

I sit there very hungry.

Also, croissant sings in the morning.

Like I love, I know it's not the healthiest thing, but coffee and croissant or some kind of baked good.

It's just, it's shocking to me that people don't, don't eat bread there.

Do you think the restaurants even have any bread?

Or do you think they've learned now that everyone's going to turn it down?

If you'd said yes to bread, they'd really panicking.

Right.

They're running to the store.

Yes.

They just present an entire loaf of slife's bread from the grocery store on a plate.

Right.

And then the whole restaurant turns, like a record skipping and everyone turns to look at me while I eat bread and they're they're pointing and it's like a horror film.

That would be a great horror film for Los Angeles is just a woman ordering bread in a restaurant while everyone else throws up.

Yeah, I didn't, I loved when I went back to Portland or would travel anywhere outside LA just watching people eat bread.

Not even necessarily eating the bread yourself?

No, just enjoying the bread.

Enjoying the people eating the scenery.

You'd have any conditioned so you couldn't eat it anymore, but you could watch people.

Yes, my bread, I had, it had been diminished.

I had to work back to bread eating again.

Yeah.

Climb back up.

Yeah.

Is there any particular type of bread that you would like for your dream meal?

There's this bakery in Portland, Dos Armanos, and they make really amazing bread.

And

they do,

I guess they're buns or rolls, but they come in a,

I guess it's a round loaf that they've kind of scored so you can sort of pull off these little rolls.

And with some olive oil,

that's a perfect bread to me.

Oh, great.

But their their bakery is good overall.

I also love like a whole grain or wheat bread, like putting some like a cheese on top, manchego.

I wouldn't want burata.

What's the cheese that's a soft sheep's cheese on bread is great with like some tomatoes.

Why aren't you putting burata on it?

You can't dangle burata in front of us like that.

I mean I love burata, but I think burata you don't you don't really have that with bread though.

Yeah, I guess, yeah.

That's more like basil, tomato, olive oil.

Maybe some brosciutto.

Maybe put some croutons on there.

That might work.

oh croutons yeah

yeah

croutons also a great use of bread yeah although i still get weirded out by the massive croutons it doesn't make me feel good which ones you mean the size are too big oh too big no so not copious not the amount of croutons but the size of a crouton yeah i i want them like to be like as as big as like a 2p max even that actually might be a bit too big for me

i like little like little ones maybe like a pound coin well how would you describe you?

When I was growing up, my mum used to make a salad, right?

Yeah.

And she would just slice a baguette.

So it was like slices of baguette and do them as croutons.

So they'd decide, that's it.

That's fancy.

That's sort of French, right?

That's just a little fancy.

And in a good way.

I couldn't do that.

Really?

Oh, it's nuts.

That's nuts, Karen.

They're like, that's too big for a crouton.

But I'm not asking you to swallow the whole thing.

But is it just semantics here?

Like, if it wasn't called a crouton, would you eat it?

Yeah.

What if it's called like what if it's called bread, yeah, little toasts, little toasts, little, just Lil.

Lil toast, L-I-L.

Yeah, and L-I-L.

Yeah, I'd have Lil Toasts, which is also my rap name.

Do you do a rap now?

Nope.

I do not know how.

I wish more people did that.

Did what?

I wish more celebs who are rappers when asked to do a rap said,

no, because I don't know how to do that.

But instead, a lot of them just do a rap.

Yeah, freestyle.

I mean, that would be real false advertising.

Yeah, if that's what you were known for, had put out records, and then when it's called upon to rap, you said, I actually don't know how

to do that.

If Kedrick said that, I think it's the funniest thing ever.

Yeah, he went on a radio show, they said, Can you freestyle?

He went, I actually am not very good at that.

Very honest, I actually don't can't do that.

A really funny thing for him to say.

Well, with other, like, with as a guitarist, there's certain things like some guitarists, like I'm much more riff-based.

I can do some solos, but

I'm not like Stevie Raybonne.

So like, if you said, can you play a Stevie Raybonne solo?

I would, I would have to say no.

But maybe it would be,

I can see how it'd be tricky to just turn down a freestyle.

And Ed did.

But

you still have a chance.

Impressive.

To date, I've always turned down freestyles.

Yeah.

I've never done a freestyle.

I don't intend to do one ever.

Good on you.

Yeah, I also hope good on you.

Right, because you said about the solos.

We should really get into the meal proper.

But like, Benito's going to be amazed by this because it means that I know about another podcast, which is, he thinks it's amazing that I would know.

Chris Schifflit from the Foo Fighters

has a podcast where he tries to work out solos from songs.

Really?

Yeah.

And he will often have as a guest, like, the guitarist who played the solo and talked to the song.

Does he know they put all the tabs online and stuff?

He could just.

I don't think he does know that.

I mean, I've seen a couple of them.

Really?

You're ruining his podcast.

He literally just got, as soon as this airs, his podcast is getting cancelled.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's no way he can carry that.

I'll trust those, though.

He doesn't trust them.

I agree.

Those are often wrong.

Right.

Because sometimes when we do covers, I will go to the tablature.

I'll try.

First, I'll listen.

You can sort it out.

But often the really complicated ones you think, great.

I'll go to the tabs.

The other thing that you can do, though, although usually you're just staring at someone's crotch, because when people do YouTube videos, like instructional with instruments, especially guitar, they never think, this is just a video of my crotch.

And so I'm really just staring.

I mean, you're looking at the guitar, but you're thinking,

yeah, no one thought about the framing here.

Anyway, there's a lot of great crotch videos where you can learn guitar.

Is there a particular guitar solo?

that is like your favorite by another musician by another guitarist that you're like that's my favorite guitar solo maybe to play or to listen to?

Oh, to listen to.

A lot of the music that inspired me didn't have solos.

Like Post Punk, like it was so angular, like, you know, Gang of Four or Mekons or The Fall.

It was sort of purposely devoid of that,

I guess, grandiosity.

But I, you know, I really

love like St.

Vincent's guitar playing.

I mean, I loved.

love Jimmy Page.

Prince has some great solos.

I was on a goddamn boat once with, with,

and was it Danny Harrison was there, George Harrison's son?

And only when I got off the boat, because I had a little brief chat with him, but got off the boat, realized that should have talked to him about when he performed Walmart Guitar Gently Weeps with Prince.

Wait, I was just going, I was literally about to bring up that solo because that is one of the best.

solos I've ever seen live.

Also, the flex of being on stage with all of these guitarists.

And then, and it's not even Prince showing up.

I mean, that is just the soul and genius of Prince is that he cannot help but be brilliant when he plays.

But also it's a new way of listening to that song, right?

Like,

yeah, I guess it just transcends what the original song was, but also makes you sort of listen to it in a way where you're like, oh, this is a new meaning to this song.

Like it's so beautiful.

And he's one of the best guitarists ever.

Do you want another meaning to that song?

You should listen to the Spineshank cover of it.

That's the meaning I've been waiting for.

It's been out for a while.

This is their debut, but it's good stuff.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

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And we're back live during a flex alert.

Dialed in on the thermostat.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

Clutch move by the home team.

What's the game plan from here on out?

Laundry?

Not today.

Dishwasher?

Sidelined.

What a performance by Team California.

The power truly is ours.

During a flex alert, pre-cool, power down, and let's beat the heat together.

Your dream starter.

Okay.

I put the wedge salad.

Right.

Yeah, you have that over here.

Talk us through the wedge.

I think I've had a wedge in the past.

Yeah.

So the wedge, it feels slightly antiquated.

It is iceberg lettuce, which probably has the least nutritional value of any lettuce.

It's really just a green head of lettuce, but it's pale.

You know, it looks like an anemic lettuce.

And you want it really cold for a wedge salad.

And then they just sort of chop it in half or into quarters.

And then you add blue cheese dressing or blue cheese crumbles, I guess, if you were in sort of a fancier establishment,

little cherry tomatoes, and bacon crumbles.

And that's sort of the classic wedge.

And what I really crave often is food that sort of connects to my childhood or this sort of rudimentary like love of food that just, it's almost a little basic.

So I think for this meal, I just thought like, oh, a wedge salad.

I could, when I, when you get a good wedge salad, it's perfect.

Yeah.

It's whole.

It's like basically an ice sculpture just

slathered and dressing.

Yeah.

The lettuce is just there as just a way to give you the blue cheese dressing.

And it's from the early 20th century, like around 1910, 1916.

That's when salad dressings were also coming into vogue in America, probably as a way of like drowning out like how rotten the lettuce was, right?

They were just like, well, if you just pour dressing over this,

your chances of like food poisoning decrease.

Anyway, I do love a good wedge.

And they're traditionally served in like steakhouses, but I feel like with a lot of food like that, like traditional food, they sort of get remade and sort of reconsidered in like nicer restaurants where people will do like their take on something.

Deconstructed wedge, that sort of stuff.

Yes.

I love a deconstructed wedge.

16ths instead of halves.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

Well, if you keep chopping it, it's just a regular salad.

You got to crumble your own blue cheese.

Yeah, yeah.

I think this is the first wedge salad we've had on.

Yeah, it might be.

It's the first, the first time the wedge salad has come up.

It's very satisfying.

You basically have to cut it with a steak knife.

You know, it's a real hearty, not nutritionally, but just, it's ample.

There's some girth there to that salad.

I love a girth, a real heavy girth.

A shallow salad.

Yeah, no, I want.

I love it.

I mean, I love blue cheese on anything.

You do.

I feel like a lot of people don't like blue cheese.

I think it's a great.

Yeah.

But yes.

I don't respect people who don't like blue cheese.

Grown adults who have a problem with it, who are like, oh, but it's mold.

Grow up.

Yeah, grow up.

Grow up.

Yeah, I agree.

You're a grown-up.

You can't handle the fact there's a bit of mold in that.

Yeah, we all learned that when we were kids, that that's mold in the blue cheese.

Everyone knows that.

Okay, I get it.

If people don't like something, that's fine.

But it's people who will see you eating blue cheese and go, How can you eat that?

It's got mold in it.

That's a particularly aggressive kind of person that won't let you enjoy what you're eating.

Yeah, because they have a strange relationship to it.

That happens kind of frequently.

Yeah, like people make comments based on their own issues with food.

Especially with blue cheese.

That really brings them out.

Especially with blue cheese, yes.

My mum's a vegetarian.

She's a lovely woman.

She listens to every single episode of this podcast.

But once I ordered a mixed grill and she went,

I'll give you bowel cancer.

Ruined it before even, ate it.

Spoiled your birthday, didn't it?

Might as well have been my birthday.

I don't even know what...

Spoiled the meal.

Yeah.

I was sharing that with my dad.

That's a special moment as a

man.

You were sharing a mixed grill with your dad.

Massive mixed grill.

Oh, gross.

Massive.

He's my hero.

Are your parents still together, or was it that was it like a pointed sort of...

Well, as far as I know, they are still together.

I haven't spoken to them since yesterday.

And who knows?

That would be incredible.

I mean, it would be tragic if they, if between yesterday and today, right, they're still living.

I don't know if it would be.

Are you text your mum now and say, are you and dad still together?

Yes, okay.

I want to confirm.

I will do it if it wants me to.

Because I want to be able to support you if something has changed.

Yes.

Because now that mixed grill is going to have even more meaning for you.

The last time you were with your parents when they were together.

And dad's still together.

Is that what I should say?

Yeah.

Okay.

And don't say it's for the podcast.

I'm not saying it's for the the podcast.

I hope she calls.

Yeah.

Yeah, she might do.

How long have they been together?

40 years.

That's sweet.

That's enough, isn't it, though?

Maybe just over 40 years.

That'll do.

Knock it on the head now.

Yeah.

Get out while you, you know what it was.

Well, that's the thing, I think.

Because, like, my whole life

they've been together

and they've been a very sweet couple.

So I think I'd find it really funny if they got divorced.

It'd make me laugh quite a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's.

Oh, there you go.

Immediate.

As far as I'm aware, have you heard otherwise?

That's what you said, as far as I'm aware.

Yeah.

I think we both said it.

Text your dad?

Yeah.

Is she worried?

We'll be waiting days for that response.

And said you might be divorced.

I'm just going to tell her that so that she knows that that's what I'm asking.

She's a lovely woman.

Lovely woman.

I agree.

I don't even know her, but keep me posted.

Also, apologies to your mom because I feel like I've chosen some fish and meat almost in every course.

And you start with the wedge salad.

Start with the wedge salad.

It's good meat.

But it has bacon.

Oh, sorry.

I wasn't paying attention to the full.

No, it's fine.

You know, you could do

there is something in America called Baco Bits.

And they are vegan.

They're actually vegan, but they emulate the flavor of bacon.

You're making a like...

Oh, you love them.

I love some bens of veggie.

But your face was telling me you didn't love them.

That's your face of love.

Okay.

So when you love something, it's that face.

Okay.

Well, if he's in a room with us, that's the most love he can muster.

Okay.

Well, anyway, bako bits.

So for the vegans out there.

Well, the blue cheese wouldn't be vegan.

For the vegetarians out there, you can do a wedge salad with bake-o-bits.

Baco bits.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's the shout out to Bako Bits.

And if the people at Bako Bits want to send us some, then Bonito would love it.

I will take Bako Bits as a way to just veer me towards vegetarianism.

So

send them to me too.

Oh, to your house?

Okay.

Yeah, hold on let me give my address yeah yeah you can put them on your rider for your tour oh yes yes just sprinkle them on anything what is on your rider for your tour do you have any outrageous demands we don't really have outrageous demands first of all you're paying for the rider you know that sort of thing

people forget that people forget that so i think there's no reason to to make there's so there's a there are a lot of gratuitous writers that we've all heard about but i just think listen they wanted that and they paid for it yeah you know what one thing that i heard i've heard about that actually sounds amazing are socks like clean socks would be great i would take a fresh pair of socks on tour white or black just some basics because i would even i i've been away for about 10 days now i only brought one pair of black socks which was a very amateur move and i will admit that i've just been re-wearing them

and if someone delivered to me on a backstage rider a fresh pair of black socks

this is a great show.

I would throw my others out immediately.

Yeah.

You know, Carrie's just got the new energy tonight.

I don't know what's going on.

It's the socks.

There were socks on the rider.

Yeah.

It's the new socks.

It's the new socks.

But no, mostly basics,

you know, sandwich-making ingredients, tea.

There is some tequila on there.

We're not really big drinkers before we play, but it's nice to have.

a drink afterwards.

For a while, I had a

Vitamix

so that I could make a smoothie when we got to to sound check.

How long did you keep that up?

Yeah, that sounds like...

It was disgusting.

Also, you cannot guarantee that the fruit is going to be fresh.

Yeah.

You know, because it's often just someone, a runner, basically, was what they call the people that go shopping for you, for your rider.

And, you know, I can't expect them to spend a lot of time like hunting down.

fresh fruits.

So it would be, you know, green bananas and moldy blackberries.

That's not something you want to blend together.

In your head, I bet it was such a good idea before you went on the tour.

So healthy.

It's going to be the best tour ever.

I'm going to have a fresh smoothie every time I get to the venue.

Also, no one's cleaned that Vitamix.

It's one of those Vitamix.

Yeah, may as well make them in your fucking socks.

You wear it every day.

My mum seems to be fine with all that now.

Okay, good.

I'm glad you're there.

Yeah, yeah.

So they're still together.

They're still together.

Did you think it put an idea in her head?

Yeah, maybe.

I feel closure, though.

I'm happy for your parents.

Aren't your parents still together, Ed?

No, no, no.

My mum was just texting me asking me if me and my girlfriend are still together.

Shall I say no for a lot of people?

First of all, that would be so sweet if she thought that was your way of initiating a conversation about a breakup is to say, hey,

are you guys still together?

Because I'm not.

I'm going to check to see if we're in the same club.

Yeah, just going through a breakup, you and your mom at the same time.

Oh, in a mother-son on a dating app.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I love that as a dating app that we could create today.

Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of a daddy-daughter, mother-son.

So the picture would be James and his mum, the profile picture.

Looking for a father-daughter.

What a specific dating app.

Sons and mothers who are looking for father-daughter pets.

Well,

we're looking to make a new family.

There's something a little heartbreaking about it, but also very sweet.

Very sweet.

And also slightly weird.

slightly weird yeah yeah yeah yeah is this weird as well my conversation with my mum is finished now but uh wait because she just said please don't text me well no

it doesn't say typing and um with my mum it either says type in or she's not going to text because yeah she's very quick to text back yeah so I know that's over now so are you you and dad still together as far as I'm aware have you heard otherwise Ed said you might be divorced why might that be he said if I hadn't checked recently then who's to say well I guess there's some truth in that yeah i guess so are you and your girlfriend still together and i said yes we're in love

and she said well that's good isn't it dad and i are in love too and i said yeah that's good i'm glad to hear that's it end of my conversation with my mum yeah that's a that's a short story right there yeah yeah james is the per the perfect product of both of his parents yeah like that conversation with your mum there is like a conversation i would have with you yeah and then your dad is just chaos yeah chaos okay but in a good way in a sweet way yeah yeah, in a very sweet way.

Are you in love with your?

Is this the first time your girlfriend will hear that?

Yeah, she's in love, they'll be going out for four days, yeah, yeah.

She doesn't know much about me.

Yeah, we're gonna have to release this episode in two years' time to make it seem okay.

My mum has just texted me asking if Ed and his wife are still together.

Yes, yes, we are, as far as I'm aware.

In love, we were.

Yes, this morning we were in love.

Your dream main course, Ken.

We shouldn't cancel your wife.

I apologize.

This is also a little pedestrian, but when I was a kid, my mom got a little fed up with trying to come up with meals

for the family.

My dad did not cook.

And so, you know, there's a, well, he barbecued as a lot of American dads do.

But how often do you barbecue?

Like a couple times in the summer.

Five times a week.

Oh, really?

During a lot of times, five times a week.

Okay, yeah, five times.

True master.

Check and was very concerned about it.

Yeah, I'd lost my mind.

Okay.

Well, these are pre-lockdown days by, you know, 30 years now.

So my mom came up with the solution that we would put our favorite meals on a paper, write them down on a piece of paper, fold them up, put them in a bowl, and we would pick it every night.

That's fun.

It's fun, but it ended up, I think she was trying to prove a point because we ended up.

basically with the same handful of dinners.

But my sister and I preferred tacos so what we ended up doing we would just pick tacos every night and so I've picked tacos just homemade tacos which are absolutely inauthentic as my main meal because I really do love all the you have all the ingredients out again straying from any authenticity

lots of sour cream lots of cheddar cheese grated.

You can do a ground beef or just beans.

And I would eat about eight to 10 tacos a night for dinner.

Are we talking the hard shell tacos?

Are we talking like old El Paso kits?

We didn't, we do, we did do, actually, yes, hard shell, but we also had soft shell.

I like to vary it.

So that would be my main meal, but this is sort of, I guess, very non-traditional.

The other meal that we would...

pick out of the bowl was a spaghetti bolognese.

So I would just want a little side of bolognese with these tacos.

Would you be tempted to put the bolognese in a taco just as an experiment?

Actually, that is a great use of leftovers.

Sometimes

when I will make like a good meat sauce, the next day for lunch, I will reheat the sauce and put them on a it on a corn tortilla.

That's fusion cooking.

It's fusion cooking.

Italian and Mexican.

Yeah.

I'd love a bolognese taco.

Yeah.

So essentially, I guess we've just reduced it to a bolognese taco.

But I just, I'm very fond of that era of my family.

Like it just was, we, we still all ate together at a table.

I associate it with, you know, coming home from school and looking forward to it and helping my mom.

I think she also appreciated the way that we could each set out the ingredients and it made her life easier.

So then I think we just all enjoyed dinner a lot more.

It is interactive.

Like if you've got to build the thing, then families have have to talk to each other, even if they're just saying, can you pass pass the sour cream?

Exactly.

That's conversation.

It's conversation.

Also, at that age, being in charge of your food, even in that way,

and you get to decide how much goes in it feels really liberating.

It's liberating, and you can really mess with proportion, right?

Because if you go to a restaurant, of course, they're going to limit you to a certain amount of sour cream or guacamole or cheese.

But if you're making your own, it can be disproportionate.

You can have a mountain of cheese and no lettuce.

Is that what you would do?

What are your favorite proportions for the tacker?

Heavy on dairy.

Heavy on dairy.

Yeah, heavy on dairy.

Yeah.

Light on protein.

I was also the kind of kid when you when we would go to restaurants and they would have those little like pats of butter where I would just eat that

straight.

Right.

Straight.

Yeah.

I have I have a still have quite a high metabolism.

So I think I just was always just looking for to just an injection of fat.

Anything you could store.

Anything I could store, yeah, like a bear, like a bear.

Now, of course, I mean, this all sounds really terrible for your heart, no matter what.

But I think as a kid, you're not worried about heart health.

Nice.

I think if I met a kid who was worried about their heart health, I'd be more worried about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, if a kid was going, I can't have that.

I'm worried about my heart health.

Well, where's this kid from?

I don't know.

Just the womb, you know.

Do kids have nationalities?

I don't know.

Oh, that's interesting.

They're just kids.

They're just kids, yes.

Just kids.

I don't know where I'm from.

It's like

Dickensian adjacent there, yeah.

Dickensian adjacent, yeah, yeah.

He's from the past.

Yeah.

Quite American, though.

Now and again, he is, yeah.

Like quite American.

Yeah.

Yes.

American Dickensian adjacent.

Yeah, there's a twang.

Uh-huh.

Mr.

Hankey in there.

That's kid fusion right there, Ed.

Yeah, it's Kid Fusion.

He's Mexican and Italian.

It sounded like neither.

Little politeness.

Yeah.

He's a bullina's taco.

Who would have the most tacos in your family when you did the definitely me or my sister.

I mean, I think both my mom and dad held back.

You know, I think a traditional amount of tacos would be three.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tops.

So that's not enough, though.

That's not enough.

That's not enough.

That's not enough.

I also think, especially in America, there was something,

I think you guys don't have this here where we would have those buffet style restaurants.

It's really, it's a little grotesque and very indulgent, but you would just pile food on your plate.

So I think there was something exciting about just a bottomless sort of tortilla, you know, going back into the to the kitchen for the fifth, sixth, seventh taco.

It's exciting.

Yeah.

And doing something different with each one, right?

So you might do like a traditional one to start and then by the fourth taco, you're like, just cheese, honestly.

It's going to be a remix.

I'm remix.

I love remix.

Also, what I would often do is kind of go quesadilla by the end, You know, so I would just, you have a microwave.

Again, not how they're usually made.

Just put a little cheese on a tortilla, fold it, put it in the microwave, blast it till it's just, you know, melted and crispy at the same time.

Are you kidding me?

That's not the traditional way of making quesadillas in Oaxaca or something.

Just a microwave.

Yeah, just stems from a microwave.

I wonder, did the microwave invent any food?

Did the microwave?

Oh, good question.

Like mug cake?

What's monk cake?

Mug cake.

So you've got little mug cake.

The monks used to use microwave for their cakes.

You know, like you can do microwave cake in a mug.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

And I guess that, yeah, that must be because of the microwave, right?

Right.

Yeah.

And chefs do use that sometimes because you get a weird texture, like a very airy, light texture on cake.

I've just thought a microwave is known for a light, airy texture.

Yeah, genuinely.

And chefs will use that on desserts.

That makes sense.

I associate it with about 500 degrees in the core.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, or the opposite.

It's actually

500 degrees on the crust and then ice cold in the center, which is what's great about a microwave when you're reheating.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you get like two bites that like singe your tongue, and then that cold ball of ice in the middle to soothe it.

Lovely.

And the wettest lasagna, that's what I think of.

Yes, very watery.

Yeah, watery, wet lasagna with no, you can't get a crispy top in a microwave.

No.

Awful.

Do you still have a microwave?

Yeah, the freaking

things broke off of it.

The goddamn dial.

I think it is good for a reheat or and thawing.

We don't have one.

We just don't have room for one.

The place we moved into.

So it's just, it's oven or nothing.

So to reheat leftovers, it's like in a pan or in the oven.

Yeah, it helps me not waste food.

Like if especially if I've had takeout the night before, you know, then because to reheat certain things in an oven or on the stove.

Yeah, and you get to that point where you're like, it's going to take half an hour to reheat this now.

may as well cook something i don't know if this is controversial but like yes i will reheat it in the pan instead i've got the microwave option but uh i don't trust it i don't trust it to do a good enough job so i'll go in the pan every time i'll get my big wok out i love my big wok shout out to the big wok and like i just put it all in there i don't hate it all me just do it all in there okay i didn't know he had a big wok i didn't big wok big red wok the way you did the shout out was almost like it was a brand but you're just literally talking about you have a big wok yeah yeah yeah but i'd say shouting out to his particular big red wok.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's an odd guy.

He's an odd guy.

I hope he returns the love.

It was very earnest.

It was like shouting out to a pet a little bit.

Well, it's one of the few things that's like, it's come with me from like each.

So I think I was given it as a present one year when I just moved out.

And it's been with me in every place that I've lived in.

And it was always like too, like everything else was like, that I was taking from flat to flat was pretty rubbish.

And this big red wok looked badass compared to everything else.

It was like, where's he got that from?

Who gave him that?

Because everything else he's got is shit.

And then I had to see that.

He's had that wok throughout all this time.

Yeah.

So, you know, it means a lot to me, that big red wok.

But what if the big red wok is responsible for your failed relationships?

Think about that.

What if it's cursed?

Worth it because I love it.

I love that walk.

This is either,

I feel like I'm trying to help you guys get other

ventures, but great children's book, Big Red Walk.

Yeah.

Or another podcast where where you view all of your relationships through the walk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd love that podcast.

Yeah.

I like that.

I'm happy to step in as a second associate producer.

Yeah.

Ben, are you up for doing that?

No.

Ben, you're doing your loving face or your sad face?

Big Red Walk.

You know, if this guy's at the helm, it's going to do well.

Big Red Walk.

Yeah.

Some people listen to any shit I do.

Your dream side dish, Carrie.

Okay, for my side dish, I would go with Nigiri, like a blue fin

toro Nigiri sushi from Mazawa in Los Angeles or sushi park.

Just something that is clean and perfect and sort of melts in your mouth.

I definitely need a palate cleanser with this meal.

So I just, I love the simplicity of nigiri sushi.

Have you had nigiri sushi before?

That's a, again, I think we've got a lot of firsts here.

My episode 200.

Oh, did you get it?

Scallop Nigiri.

Oh, I'll do it.

Oh, also good.

Also good.

And also refreshing.

It is refreshing.

It's a palate cleanser.

Yes.

Is it quite a fatty tuna, this one?

Yes, it's belly.

Yeah.

Oh, so good.

Yeah.

And if it's fresh, which hopefully it is,

if you're on the West Coast, yeah, it is sort of buttery.

It's just, and very smooth.

I think sushi to me is just

a perfect food, no matter which variety or fish it is.

I could eat sushi every day, probably.

What's your soy and wasabi setup for this?

Okay, so at sushi park in Los Angeles, they will tell you, if you get omakasa, you know, which is where the chef just basically chooses the sushi for you until you're full, the staff there as they present it to you will say no soy sauce, depending.

Yeah.

And I think with tuna, you can do soy.

So I would do a little bit of soy, maybe

no wasabi.

Sometimes they will put a little wasabi between the rice and the piece of fish, and that's all I would need.

But

when I eat omakasa, what I like learning is that, you know, soy sauce is unnecessary for a lot of this fish.

It totally is.

And you eat nice sushi and you realize that.

But you learn about all the rules as well of like, if you do have soy sauce, it goes on the fish, not on the rice, because it's going to mess the rice up.

And that little bit of wasabi and all of that.

And if I'm out and about and I see people eating sushi, I love telling them that.

And also love interrupting a meal.

Yeah, excuse me.

You're doing that.

I will come in from outside

if I see someone dining in a restaurant.

Some sushi places, they like, they put it in your hand, like directly.

Oh, I've never had that.

Like warm rice, put it in your hand, and then you just eat it with your hands.

So there's all these amazing traditions and stuff and the correct way to eat sushi.

But if I'm at home and I order sushi, I'm getting the bottle of soy sauce out and I'm going crazy with it.

Oh, I see.

I'm basically filling a cereal bowl up with soy sauce and just pouring all the sushi in.

But the little.

Yeah.

It's like it's the cereal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think Western cultures in particular, we love our sauces and dips.

You know, like I love, like with french fries, lots of ketchup.

And I think we do the same thing with soy sauce, but I do like learning that it's unnecessary in a lot of ways.

And I love the ritual of eating Japanese food.

Yeah.

Like it's just also, it's the right size.

And I feel like everything else I've put in this meal is just, it's heavy.

You just had eight tacos.

I just had eight tacos.

Before that, I had a wedge salad.

It's how many pieces of this sushi you got?

Probably two.

Two little bits.

Actually, if in this in these restaurants, probably just just one, just one perfect piece of nigiri.

Wow.

Which I would want more.

But in this case, it would probably just be that perfect little palate cleanser.

I'm no soy sauce.

None.

No.

Ever.

No.

No.

i used to even with like shit sushi i eat in the shit stuff if you go to itsu or something and it's fine that's a fancy place no it's it's like a chain sort of you it's all you know in the fridges and stuff and you just go and grab it quickly and it's fine it's it's good for a quick lunch good chain sushi but would you not use soy sauce for that yeah probably

you know even even now i probably wouldn't with with that it's sushi i just sort of just go for it as it is i used to used to put loads on it on the itsu one i think with like store-bought sushi or or like a sushi chain, like we have a couple in Portland, also in Los Angeles, but it's a train.

Do you have these?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Or you're just picking sushi off the little conveyor belt.

That sushi, I would definitely do.

So I saw that.

So that's been there for a bit.

It's been there for a bit.

Like a California roll, like anything that sort of has that generic quality.

You almost need it to sort of moisten up the rice.

Yes, you have to remoisten.

I went to one of those sushi train places in Japan a couple of years ago.

It was called Genki Sushi, but apparently it's shut down.

I'm gutted because I really wanted to go again.

And you're sat next to the conveyor belt, but there's not stuff going around the whole time.

You order on an iPad.

Oh.

And then like three minutes later, it just comes shooting down the conveyor belt and stops in front of you and it's fresh.

Delicious, warm sushi.

This is making me hungry for sushi.

Yeah.

This is, I will say, this is the first thing I've mentioned that's actually made me hungry.

Yeah.

Yes, makes you want to eat it.

Yes.

Would you like it to come on a conveyor belt?

If you can make that happen.

Yeah, of course we can.

If you could be in one of those restaurants and put anything on that conveyor belt for a laugh, what would you put on there that you would amuse you?

Send it around the conveyor belt.

I mean, I'd love to see a kitten come by.

Yeah, yeah,

not a kitten on there.

What about you?

I like that it just goes by as well.

You're not interacting with a kitten, yeah.

It just goes past you.

Yeah, I would love that if it was all edible and then just a little kitten

looking at you, making eye contact with me.

Yeah, a little wink, yeah, daring me to eat it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, buddy, don't know how much it costs,

yeah.

Only based on the cost, I would be worried, like, I don't want to eat you.

This could be thousands of dollars in the horror film about LA that we're writing, the one with the bread.

Oh, the kitten comes down, and someone eats it, someone eats a kitten, right?

Because it's all protein, it's like a yeah, it's a Mediterranean diet.

Yeah, I'm thinking, like, there's like a woman there who looks like an Instagram model, and she just unhinges her drawer and pushes the whole kit.

Whoa, whoa, this guy, good film there.

Any producers listening, any studio execs listening, we have a great idea for a horse.

It's called Hell A.

Oh,

this is great.

Yeah.

Whole thing's like hell.

You've got the pitch sorted and everything.

Yeah.

I mean, that's the elevator pitch, but wait till we have our full deck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All the references.

And then Ed does the job.

Yeah, you got to learn to do that there.

Yeah.

You can't just describe that off.

Yeah.

Creep myself out.

We put a little kitten on the table in the boardroom, and people are like a little shocked by it.

Yeah.

Like, no, we're here to be controversial.

This is not for the faint of heart.

This has got A24 written all over it.

Yeah.

All us A24.

I love it.

Your dream drink.

Old fashion.

I love an old fashion, especially in the fall and winter.

I usually have it with rye.

It's a little spicier.

And I also like making old fashions.

I started making them in the pandemic, which is feels sort of shameful to be talking about just the increase.

I feel like it was very common during the pandemic that people drank more.

I don't think I drank more actual drinks, but I started making drinks for the first time.

I never used to make mixed drinks at home.

Yeah, yeah.

But we needed something to do.

I feel like old fashioned is a completely respectable thing to make at home as well.

Yeah, it's not like I was making a pitcher of mojitos every night.

And it's very like spiritforward.

It's just, it's, there's something kind of pure and simple about it.

But I love, there's a bar in Portland called the Pacific Standard and a bartender.

He's also one of the co-owners.

His name is Banjo, which is also the name of my dog.

It's really weird when you meet someone that has your dog's name.

Well, first of all, it's not like my dog's name is like Mick or John.

Like this is an

Banjo.

The bartender's got a dog's name, not the other way around.

I agree.

If my dog, I used to have a dog since passed away.

His name is Toby, and that's on me.

That's on me.

I'm going to run into a Toby out there.

But when you name your dog Banjo, you expect only to be communicating with either the instrument or other animals.

You don't expect to walk into a bar and meet a man named Banjo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, he makes a mean old-fashioned.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think anyone who didn't like do that during the lockdowns has got to be feeling pretty gutted now that they missed out.

It's not acceptable anymore yeah they missed out on this period where it was absolutely acceptable to be drinking yeah at any time during the day although i always waited i would just wait until five o'clock and five o'clock was so arbitrary truly truly arbitrary but it would come around and i would start the drink making and also remember i now i think of it as very silly when you would meet up with other people on zoom to drink together it feels very depressing i was making espresso martinis That felt like a step too far.

Having espresso martinis just buzzing in my own house because nothing to do.

Nothing to do, nowhere to go, just

up all night.

Barbecue.

Yeah.

Barbecue and espresso martini.

What a combo.

We did Scroobius Pit was drunk podcast.

We had to do that on Zoom.

There's like a drunk podcast.

And we got drunk together on that, didn't we?

It's one of the worst nights of my life.

Horrible.

That's like that

TV show Drunk History, you know, where people drink.

We've done that as well.

Yeah.

One of the worst times yeah actually drunk history was fine see drunk history the thing with that is that you know because it's like for a tv show have you done it no the thing with that because because they're doing it for a tv show they've got to like be responsible so they're like okay you know here's all the health and safety stuff and all that so they're like okay make sure he's eating something and like we got someone on standby like first aider doing breathalyzer and all of this so they actually get you hammered but in a way where you still feel quite good so i'm getting home.

I mean, the only confusing thing was that the washing machine, which was on the timer, came on, and I was like, I literally found my girlfriend at the time and was like, there's a ghost in there.

But like, that is the only, that's the only thing that was confusing for me.

But, like, I didn't at any point, you know, didn't get upset or angry or scared.

Only of the ghost.

And then I went to sleep.

I actually didn't feel that bad the next day.

So it's physician-assisted drunkenness.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is quite cool.

It would be a lovely privilege if we could all do that every time.

Yes.

Like if there was a club, like a bar with a membership or pub with a membership and what you were paying for was this doctor to be there to help administer the alcohol.

So you were having a really bespoke

inebriation.

I'll tell you where they'd have that in LA.

Oh yeah.

That would be just not part of the story.

It's not a scene.

That's just something that takes place.

Yeah, it's texture.

Yeah.

It'd be one of those crazy doctors though.

Yeah, with the, who wears that like metallic disc on on their head.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Like,

yeah.

I've ever actually seen a doctor who wear those.

Like, you know,

in the films, they wear them, don't they?

The CD on their head.

Something from like a David Cronenberg film or Kubrick, where it's just sort of a demonic doctor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We could have that character in the film.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess, like, if you did have a bar where it was like, yeah, we have doctors on stamp who basically just help you get the right amount of drunk and all this, those doctors would be the dodgiest doctors, right?

Oh, yes.

they would have already this is post medical license like revoking right this is after they've been barred from practicing elsewhere yeah now they're working in a bar yeah but doctor basically in quotes at this point yeah because they're drunk as well obviously they're working a bar every night yeah wait we're just talking about bartenders right now oh yeah we are yeah yeah

doctors of bars yeah yeah yeah i'm imagining you know peter stormare's character in minority reports

where where he goes to get get get the new eyes and he's a yeah this disgrace your references are so modern and cutting edge james well listen minority reports hit in the future so

fair enough but like he's nuts that doctor i would love to see minority report top the streaming charts after people listen to this podcast yeah yeah yeah that's where we know we've got influence yeah when minority report gets re-released in cinemas yeah when tom cruise is thanking you guys for yeah

and producing hella for us oh yeah he would do that yeah he he would

little cameo in hell as well get him to do a massive stunt film that get that going viral but just in the background through a window yeah you just see if he really if you pause it you could you could just see him on a motorbike flying off the top of a crane you hardly see it the film but the whole like video that we make the behind the scenes one that goes viral yeah going like no one sees the movie but everyone sees everyone sees that sees him doing the jump yeah we're all celebrating he gets on the walkie doggy i fuck i can do another one it wasn't perfect why are the cameras so far away yeah i want to i want to make a $40 million movie that tanks only so we can get some 10-second PTS footage of Tom Cruise that goes viral.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, this old-fashioned sounds delicious.

And we love old-fashions.

We were in a bar recently.

It was Old Fashioned Month.

We took advantage of that.

There's a promo on for Old Fashioned Month.

Okay.

I thought you said Old Fashioned Mumford.

Oh, yeah.

Old-fashioned.

Well, that guy's pretty old-fashioned anyway.

He is old-fashioned.

I thought, oh, you were doing a promo

for Marcus Mumford.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is why I need captions.

I need closed captions here.

It's a little subtitles sometimes.

Old-fashioned Mumford.

Yeah, it's some old-fashioned.

Pre-Dust Bowl era.

Yeah.

Apart.

So you were just drinking old-fashions?

Yeah, yeah.

So you would drink them in earnest.

You would drink them.

Yeah, love old-fashions.

Nearly ruined old-fashions for myself.

A couple of years ago, had my friend and our friend, Nish Kootmar Rovers,

to the house.

We just moved into the house.

and we thought, oh, we're going to make our own old-fashions.

Had a bottle of bourbon and had all the stuff for old-fashions.

And we had a couple of them.

We were like, great, this is really nice.

Kept on making them, got through a bottle of bourbon.

And then we'd run out of like the orange to do the orange peel, but I had some satsumas.

So I was just like dunking half a satsuma in there, like just like sugar cube, not even crushing it up, bitters, just necking basically the entire bottle of whiskey.

And that was a bad night.

Yeah, that is a bad night.

Do you have spodies?

Spodies?

When you were saying dunking satsumas, I was thinking of in high school and university.

I didn't actually drink in high school, but in university, people would fill a bathtub with alcohol and put fruit in it.

And then you would just take a ladle and pour it into a cup

from a bath of college students that were using it.

It wasn't a new bath that they bought specifically.

Absolutely not.

I mean, if you were lucky, sure, someone would bring like a bucket.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you were unlucky and didn't care, it would just be a bathtub.

And if it was cleaned, that's almost worse because then you're just also drinking

a terrible cheap cleaning product they've used.

But anyway.

I've not heard of the alcohol directly into the bathtub.

Obviously at party, I remember at student parties when you'd like fill up the bath with ice.

Well, that's

safer.

That's safer.

That's way safer.

I think that's how that crazy doctor keeps things in one of the report.

He's got a bathtub full of ice.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

And he has Tom Cruise in there.

But like,

all i know about american like you know university parties is like from films yes obviously i've never been to one i wasn't a student in america and nowadays it'd be inappropriate well i didn't go to those you mean if you went now it would be inappropriate

but like uh i see it from films they've all got the red cups and stuff yes the solo cups yeah i didn't go to that kind of university right like a big party university but I think in different regions of America, what I've just described has a different name.

You know, like Spodey would be maybe, maybe that was West Coast.

It would probably be called something else in the South or on the East Coast or Midwest.

And maybe people will call in.

Do people call in?

People will call in.

Yeah, we're not only callers yet.

Yeah.

We haven't looked at the lunch yet.

Call in and tell us what you call

a Spode.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Your dream dessert, Carrie.

I do have a sweet tooth, so this was difficult, but I went with something very simple and something that I eat quite often.

There is an Oregon-based Oregon, meaning the state of Oregon, not human Oregons.

What a twist that would be.

They're in the state of Oregon, maybe actually specifically from Portland.

There is an ice cream sandwich company called Ruby Jewel, and they have very, very delicious ice cream sandwiches.

And I really like their mint sandwich.

So it's mint ice cream with chocolate cookies, a soft cookie.

And it is just a perfect dessert.

You can split it in half if you just want a little bit of sweetness, or you can just go full,

full cookie.

But I really like the simplicity of that.

I really like ice cream, but I just, I feel like it's the perfect amount.

And it's not too sweet, and it's not too indulgent.

But I do like a little sugar after a meal.

I mean, I know James is a massive ice cream sandwich fan, and so am I.

I feel like they're a relatively late arrival to this country, ice cream sandwiches.

Relatively, yeah.

I don't remember growing up with ice cream sandwiches.

For sure, I remember hearing about, you know, maybe seeing it in an episode of Boy Meets World or something.

And

Topanga chugging down an ice cream sandwich.

Yeah, maybe even Mustafini.

You sound so wistful talking about Boy Meets World.

I can now picture your childhood a little bit more clearly.

We always had ice cream sandwiches in America.

much simpler.

I think like the classic Klondike or few brands, you know, just a very thin chocolate cookie, often rectangle, but now there's, they're, these are circular.

Yeah.

These are round.

And I do, um, and they're very popular.

There's so many different flavors.

Ruby Jewel just introduced.

an espresso chocolate one, which I want to try.

They also have a really good butterscotch one with an oatmeal cookie.

So they change up the cookie, which is, I think, also.

Very important.

Yeah,

I like the changing up of the cookies.

That's essential.

You've got to get the right combo.

Yeah, they have a lemon cookie with strawberry ice cream.

Wow.

Yeah.

I can tell James is excited about this, but also annoyed that last time he was in Portland, he didn't have Ruby Jewish.

I'm trying to think what I had.

I mean, I must have had a dessert

because I was in each city for like a day.

Yeah.

So I had to like properly take it in and try stuff.

But like, I can't think if I had an ice cream sandwich.

I i definitely didn't go to ruby jewel so i've got to go back i i i went out with someone once and they did not like mint chalk ice the mint chock chip ice cream they thought it was disgusting deal breaker for you i was like i was like i knew it shouldn't have been

it shouldn't be a thing but i was like realistically so how did it go they said i don't like mint chock chip ice cream and then you just you say goodbye you picked up your big red wok and you left yes oh you were living together at this point yeah i was making mint chocolate ice cream in the big red wok

I was like, oh, you know what?

I don't like that.

Goodbye.

Oh, I'll see you later.

I'll eat this in the elevator on the way home.

What do you think is, in all honesty, though, like the hardest combination, like when you're with someone that doesn't like something?

What's a food that makes it difficult

if they don't like it?

I mean, definitely ice cream, to be honest.

I love ice cream so much.

I get such joy from it.

And like we were talking about earlier, with people saying stuff that can ruin a meal for you, often if people don't like ice cream, they can say stuff that is a bit like, you don't want to be reminded that something's not very good for you when you're eating it and it's delicious.

So when they're just like, oh, you're going to eat all of that, that's,

and, oh, so, imagine without calories and that, that's nuts.

And this is their problem.

Yes, it's a projection.

I will zoom out from that.

I just think in general, when people say, I don't eat dessert,

it's like a rule.

I don't think anyone needs to eat dessert every night.

I'm not saying like it's a necessary part of a meal, but to just ban it sort of globally in your life and to make a statement like that, I find it's almost like someone doesn't know how to have fun or allow pleasure in their life.

Like, I don't eat dessert.

Just that phrase to me is so off-putting.

Yeah.

I mean, for me, it's such a source of pleasure,

joy, happiness, that if someone is just like, well, I don't do that, it's like, well, how is this going to work?

Because

I can't just like, well, I meant to just enjoy this thing on my own.

You're perfectly happy to do that.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You will always eat dessert on your own if you have to.

It's fine if they would just like not say anything about it, but they're always going to say something about it.

Because anyone who doesn't like desserts, they're never just secure in that.

Well, also, they'll be like at the end of a restaurant meal, they'll be the ones going like, oh, we should, let's go.

Yeah.

You're like, no.

Oh, the

dessert.

Here we go.

This is the worst thing.

They'll be worse than a restaurant.

Great question.

This is the worst thing.

And it's not even people like...

It's thinking about dessert guilt.

At a restaurant, you've got to the end of the meal, you're all thinking, oh, should we have dessert?

I'm not sure.

Maybe you've all like, you know.

You're terrible at acting that bit in a restaurant, by the way, where you go, oh, we're not sure if we want dessert.

Really bad acting.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't really convincingly say that.

That is a weird routine that we all have.

Oh, I don't know.

You're looking at like five amazing desserts.

You actually want all five on the table.

Yeah.

But we're all hemming and hawing, like,

maybe not.

Anyway, it's sort of performing.

It's very performative.

Yes, we'll have a look at the menu.

We'll have a look at the dessert menu.

Yeah.

Knowing full well you've already looked at the desserts and you know exactly what you're having.

Yeah, it's why you chose to do that.

Put it in your head.

I want to get that one.

But I think there should be a rule that once you've ordered the desserts and then between ordering them and the desserts coming, don't talk about desserts in anything other than a positive way.

Don't sit there talking to each other.

Because then it's almost like the guilt sets in as soon as everyone's ordered the desserts.

They all think, oh man, we shouldn't have done that.

We had a massive meal we shouldn't be eating this much more and when people start doing anecdotes about like oh yeah because I had this once and I'm but I'm trying not to now and like now I found that if you just have a little bit of something and then you just put it back in the food and then you start talking about those kind of things with one another so you're already like basically making yourself feel bad about eating the dessert yeah and then the desserts turn up and you're like well I already hate myself for having this now whereas we should have all just gone you know what I love I love ice cream so much I can't wait for this that would be a much better chat but instead you have this like diplomatic conversation about desserts, which just ruins it, ruins the fun.

So you want those five minutes in between ordering and the arrival of the dessert to be more hype-oriented.

Yeah.

Like really just getting everyone extra excited about what's about to happen.

I also get annoyed by the person or people who claim that they don't want the dessert.

They're just going to have a bite.

And then they eat half of it.

Even having a bite is annoying, isn't it?

I think, yeah.

If if you're opting out, opt out fully.

I need you to commit to this hatred of dessert because now I feel like the dynamic, there's something just really complicated there.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And then they're bringing their issues.

And you've got that in the back of your mind of like, how much are they going to have?

And then that stresses you out and then you can't enjoy the dessert.

Yeah.

I love the idea of hyping the dessert.

Is it possible, do you think, to have a restaurant where there's a dessert hype man?

And that's his only job.

Maybe not.

not someone's ordered dessert maybe come see the doctor again no it's not the doctor is a dessert hype man he's it's very specific he's learned his craft love that he sort of shows up in a cape like the avatar like the second you order dessert it's almost like he magically appears and he's just like leading you in little cheers and i'm imagining paul shear for some reason oh yes i could i was thinking about paul shear earlier in this episode were you yes because i think hammy mentioned sushi sushi yeah every time people mention sushi on the podcast it reminds me of paul shear and I think about Paul Scheer, because I remember him telling us that he would go to a place and get this sushi that he loved.

And this man, he was such a regular, and the man loved him so much that he gave him a sake cup that he had written Paul's name on it.

I think it was Japanese.

And Paul was like, that means a lot to me, that cup.

And we said, do you know that it says Paul Scheer?

It might say, Paul Shearer drinks piss.

And Paul Scheer was a wonderful guest.

And we had a lot of fun with Paul.

But when we made fun of his sake cup, he did not like it.

It ruined his dad.

We spoiled a nice thing.

I was so proud of that sake cup.

We spoiled a nice thing in his life.

And

so it almost reminds me of him a bit with sushi.

I was thinking, Paul Shearer drinks piss.

But like, I like him.

Nice man.

But definitely, yeah, he'd be a great dessert hype man.

He'd be great.

You're ready for dessert.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, like, because what you don't want, Paul Shearer, I'd say,

looks like someone who I'd be like, yeah, that guy, believably, does like dessert, but also it's not taken any toll on him.

He looks healthy.

Right.

But he doesn't look too healthy.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

I wouldn't want friggin Mario Lopez coming out and telling me this dessert's gonna be great.

Like, how the fuck do you know?

I'd love Mario Lopez.

Yeah, he desserts.

I would love if that's what Mario Lopez was doing these days.

Yeah, yeah.

What a joy to go to a restaurant.

Maybe you go specifically for their dessert hype person.

Yeah.

You know, it becomes like, oh, well, this restaurant has a great dessert.

It's got Mario Lopez.

Yeah, it's got the Mario Lopez hype.

Becomes that machine.

Flips his chair the other way around, sits in it.

Oh, yeah.

A little massage to get you ready for the eating.

Give it a hand massage so that you're ready to really use that spoon.

Well, yeah, maybe that'd be nice.

Ready to be preppy?

Yeah, yeah.

You call me Preppy.

That'd be cool.

Oh, yeah.

You have a nickname.

Yeah.

Come on, Brownstein.

You got it.

I guess that is

a different kind of hyping you up for it.

He's getting you physically.

I was thinking someone coming up going, this dessert's going to be so great.

We all love dessert.

It's brilliant.

Which I wouldn't believe from him.

Cause I'd be like, no.

Yeah, Lopez hasn't eaten enough desserts.

I don't think.

But if he was training me up like he's a boxing coach, then fair enough, I'd be like, yeah, this is going to be great.

Well, I think we're each imagining something slightly different, but I feel like each hype person would have a different technique.

So yeah, you'd go to a restaurant and you would know that this one was more like a coach.

Another one was just more like singing the praises of the dessert portion of the meal.

Yeah.

I guess I want someone who's like, we all made a great decision here today.

This is so great.

Like you guys rule for making this decision to order the dessert.

You want a life coach, basically.

Yeah, this is so great.

I want Paul Scheer to be like, whose idea was it to get desserts?

This guy?

Fucking round of applause for this guy.

This is so great.

You just want to be popular.

But you want to be that guy, clearly.

You basically want to be validated in your decision.

You should just bring Paul Scheer with you to every restaurant in your life.

He hates us because we said he drinks piss.

So we've ruined that.

Yeah, but after he's had a few shots of piss, he's good.

I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

See how you feel about it.

You would like still water.

You would like bread from Dos Himanos in Portland.

Starter, a wedge salad.

Main course, eight to ten homemade tacos, heavy on dairy, and a little bowl of spirit bolognese.

Side dish, blue fin toranagiri from sushi park in LA.

Drink an old-fashioned with rye from the Pacific Standard in Portland.

Banjo.

From Banjo.

Shout out Banjo.

Does a Ruby Jewel mint ice cream sandwich?

That's pretty great.

That's delicious.

And you're rep in Portland pretty heavily there.

I like to rep the city I live in.

It's good to like the food in the city you live in.

I think it's important.

It's important.

It's in Portland.

You should work for the tourism board because that's in Portland.

It's important in Portland.

We have so many businesses that we've formed from, this was basically a think tank of an episode.

I mean, we have a film.

We have a book.

You have three or four extra podcasts at this point.

A dessert hype man agency.

Doctors who get you the right amount of drunk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the big red walk.

Well, Carrie, it's been a pleasure doing business with you.

Let's shake on it.

Yes, it has been wonderful to be your guest today.

Thank you.

Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you, Carrie.

There we are.

A great chat with Carrie there, James.

I enjoyed that so much.

Yeah.

She's great.

Brilliant.

Funny.

Great food choices.

Yes.

And an impeccable musician.

Your new album, Little Rope.

Well done.

Is out now.

I loved watching you screw that up, man.

I loved it.

You know, it didn't feel good, but I still in my head had the awareness to know, like, I would love this if it happened to someone else.

So just deal with the facts.

It's happening to you now.

And to everyone else, you are someone else.

So it's okay.

You were riding so high on the smooth link and the drop was sharp.

Oh, the downfall was immediate.

Straight off the cliff.

And may I say, deserved.

Yeah.

Or fully deserved the rake in the face.

Yes.

Carrie, of course, did not say a thimble of Italian soda.

I would have been very surprised if she had.

So we can tell you that the new Sleeta Kinney album, Little Rope, is out now and they are touring later in the year.

Yeah, and you should listen to Sleeta Kinney's entire back catalogue and catch up and watch all of Portlandia if you have not done so.

Absolutely, you should.

Thank you very much to Carrie for coming in.

We will see you again sometime soon.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club Podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.