Ep 209: Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

That's why I want to tell you about No CD.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

They are here to help.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the spoon of the internet, scooping out the inside of the passion fruits of humor and adding it to the fruit salad.

Oh, that's a lovely-looking food salad now.

Getting a bit tropical.

Pretty tasty.

That's a gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

We own a dream restaurant and every week we invite a guest in and ask them a favour ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week our guest is Dr.

Maggie Adarin Pocock.

Dr.

Maggie Adarin Pocock, one of the foremost leading space scientists in the UK, James.

Nay the world.

Nay the universe.

Yes.

Very exciting to finally have a legitimate scientist on the podcast.

We've had Brian Cox before, of course.

We'll have a fake one.

Yeah.

He gave us a very short shrift on our idiotic musings.

Well, no, we're not idiotic.

You know, there's no wrong questions in science.

Yes, that's true.

There's no wrong question.

That's the old phrase.

Only

wrong answers.

Yeah.

And we got some wrong answers on that one.

So hopefully we'll get the right answers this time.

Yes, fingers crossed.

Dr.

Maggie has been involved in so many amazing scientific projects.

And also, like, yo,

on TV more and more these days.

Yes, absolutely.

Love it whenever she pops up and stuff.

Does panel shows and things.

things.

Yeah, she's brilliant fun.

And QI, I think she's done Would I Lie to You as well?

Yeah.

She's getting put more than us for these things, James.

And right, rightly so.

Rightly so.

She's a lot of fun and she knows a lot.

And she's got a new book coming out, James, The Art of Stargazing.

My Essential Guide to Navigating the Night Sky.

The Sky at Night.

The Art of Stargazing.

My Essential Guide to Navigating the Night Sky.

Yes, very, very excited to read that.

That is coming out on November 2nd.

On eBay Press.

But of of course, if Maggie says a secret ingredient on which we have pre-agreed, we're going to put her in the airlock and blast her out to space.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Maggie.

And this week, the secret ingredient is Milky Way magic stars.

Milky Way Magic Stars.

Of course, Brian Cox, we picked Space Raiders.

Yeah.

So yeah, we're keeping the space theme.

Keeping the space theme.

Obviously, we like Milky Way magic stars.

We're not into the film.

They're fine.

What?

They're fine.

I'd rather have just a regular Milky Way.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would.

Yeah, the ratio is off with the magic stars.

Yeah.

I like the fluffy center of the Milky Way and I'd like more of that.

Yeah, and also magic stars are one of those things that if I eat them, I feel like a little baby.

Yeah, actually, I hate them.

Yeah.

And I'm glad we've chosen it as a secret ingredient.

Yeah.

I feel like a little baby, I do.

Yeah, I feel like a little baby.

And Ed doesn't like feeling like a baby.

I don't like it when my friend Ed feels like a baby.

Yeah.

And I prefer the main bars as well.

Yes, absolutely.

But we're very excited to talk to Maggie.

Also, you've got to get her book, sure, but but maybe add a little food book to your collection oh that's fun my food book october 26th uh ed gamble glutton the multi-course life of a very greedy boy i'm gonna read it but it's also available on audiobook isn't it also available on audiobook james is gonna read it i mean he's probably had a proof copy by now yeah yeah did you enjoy it i loved it thank you uh but enough chat about my projects james uh unless you want to mention one of yours uh my name is james a Caster, and please buy Party Gate of Purgatory by Temps, the album of the year.

This is the off-menu menu of Dr.

Maggie Adams.

Dr.

Maggie Adam in Pocock.

Welcome, Dr.

Maggie, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you so much.

Lovely to be here.

Welcome, Dr.

Maggie Adam Pocock, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Have you?

Why do you stand on genies as a dog?

As a woman of science.

Why do you stand on genies like me?

I do like a genie.

I must admit.

I mean,

three wishes, all that.

I mean, you can't knock it, really.

Well, that's good.

I was expecting a genie skeptic in the room.

I was expecting you to be a genie skeptic.

Well, I just watched a film.

I think

1,000 years of longing.

Actually, it's more than that.

3,000 years of longing.

And that was a genie.

And that was pretty cool, you see.

Yeah.

Which one's that?

Is that...

What happens in that film?

Idris Idris El.

Oh, he's a massive genie in a hotel room.

He is, yes, it.

And yes, and that's it.

And his toes are poking through the bathroom.

Yeah, yeah.

I've not heard of this film.

I feel like you two have got together and decided to make another film.

I've heard about the film.

To gaslight me into.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Idris El was a massive genie in a hotel room with his toes poking through the bathroom.

Yeah, yeah.

Nice.

Yeah, nice one, guys.

Who's the person who gets the genie?

Tilda Swinton.

Yes, Tilda Swinton.

Tilda Swinton.

Oh, great Benito's getting involved now.

You've all planned that.

Tilda Swinton's in the hotel room, right?

And then the Big Genie comes in.

Why does the Big Genie come in?

She rubs the lamp.

Well, it's glassware, actually, and she breaks it by accident.

She breaks the glassware.

That happens sometimes.

Yes.

So this genie comes out of glassware when it's broken rather than rubbed.

Yes.

Yeah, but that happens to me as well sometimes.

That's why in the dream restaurant, if someone smashes a glass,

I come out of the glass.

Yeah.

Tell them off.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll go, wee, I'll do that too.

You used to work in a Greek restaurant, didn't you?

It was too much in the end.

I was very busy.

Are you a foodie, Dr.

Maggie?

Yes, but a foodie with a caveat.

Yes.

Okay.

We love a caveat.

Yeah.

I have a 13-year-old daughter.

Yeah.

And when she was born, I developed a horrendous dairy allergy.

And it turns out that dairy is in almost everything, especially everything tasty.

Everything butter, cream, virtually all French cooking is gone.

And it's very sweet.

I have to carry an EpiPen.

And if I ingest it, before my throat used to just swell up, which was, you know, the classic, but now it's sort of explosive in both ends.

So

it's pretty, you know, so I do love food, but it's sort of a, I have to, and that's why I'm assuming in this restaurant that won't be a problem.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's up to you.

It's your great meal, so we can take that away.

Gosh, wow.

Is your daughter allergic to dairy as well?

No.

But it was her birth that caused you to be allergic to dairy.

Yeah.

Is that ever a source of resentment for you?

Yes.

I think everyone wants to know that.

No, actually,

but what about if you see your daughter and she's eating like a massive sundae and loving it?

Yeah, you're like, oh, you're that nice.

Yeah, you enjoy that, are you?

Actually, it was funny because

she was very sweet because at Cut and when she was soon after she was born, she said, yeah, my mummy can't eat drink cream, she can't eat young.

So she used to really look after me that way.

She's 13 now, so slightly less so.

But actually, I do it vicariously.

So and I was like, yeah, what you eating, Laurie?

Cool.

Is that is that butter on them?

Oh, that looks nice.

Which sounds slightly dodgy.

Well, no, no, hey, I think she deserves it.

It just seems unfair, doesn't it?

No, that that happened.

Yeah, the idea is that when you're carrying the fetus,

your immune system is suppressed, so you don't attack the fetus.

But then when it comes out, your immune system is meant to go to normal.

And it's just a very small percentage of people, but they just develop random allergies.

So I had a few allergies before, but it was things like Brazil nuts, which are really easy to avoid.

But then suddenly, and it took me a long time to work it out because my asthma was playing up and my eczema was playing up, and I couldn't work out what it was.

Turned out to be wobble dairy.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

I mean, that's that.

I'm really glad that I will never give birth to a baby.

Many of us are too, actually.

We're very happy.

Although genie's can, it feels like genies could give birth.

Does Big Idris Elbow give birth in in that film?

I've not seen it.

Spoiler alert.

Well, I'll say no.

No, he doesn't.

I reckon he could.

But you could wish it.

If I had three wishes,

one of my wishes could be, Genie, I want you to give birth.

Oh, yeah.

Like, skip the pregnancy, just give birth.

Straight in there.

Genie, I wish you have a dairy allergy.

That would be a harsh thing to do to a genie.

No, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

You would find a genie in a lamp.

and you would have three wishes and it would be give birth and have a dairy allergy would be two of them no i think it'd be one or the other

i think i could cover off what i want from a genie and two wishes oh yeah don't you think yeah well you don't need three wishes what are you talking about but what's it what what would your wishes be then unlimited money obviously oh obviously yeah

obviously and i don't know actually then i'd just do

all you need give give birth give birth and have a dairy allergy yeah because without so you reckon with unlimited money you could do anything you wanted yeah don't you think

what would you say that's a that's a woman's science money talks.

What would you say?

What would you say?

Well, the thing is, because my dream is to get out there into space.

And so money, unlimited money, yes.

And if you look at the Battle of the Billionaires at the moment with

Musk and sort of Bradston and people like that.

But my thing is, no, I want to go to the stars.

I don't want to, you know,

low Earth orbit and things like that.

I want to go, yeah, out there.

So

that would be one of your wishes.

Yes.

That Star Trek was real and you were the captain of the Enterprise.

I'll be your whore.

Yeah.

that's exciting.

How close do you get to a star before it gets a bit dodgy?

Oh, actually,

well, actually, there is a probe called Parker, which is approaching the sun and doing orbits of the sun at the moment.

And it gets pretty close.

But things, I want to go to the sort of next-door star system.

Yeah.

So there's

our sun and the planets.

I want to go to the next door star system, 4.28 light years away, 40 trillion kilometers away, and actually go and visit the planets that are going around the star.

Because, yeah, the star itself is a bit...

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So you want to see the other planets?

yes and see there's lives there yeah yeah

oh i'd wish to never be ill oh

yeah actually yeah

health wealth and happiness yeah that's the one never be ill i don't want to be live forever yeah so i'd like to be able to set my own death date but be completely fine up until then and then die oh serious bang yeah but what if you could live forever but with other people

the people you're close to

i just think i just get knackered it's bored yeah just gets so bored because technology is developing so quickly i think if i lived long enough i could make it into space yeah so you see if you're hanging around a bit might be quite nice but yet as i wouldn't want to do it on my own i'd like to sort of bring a gang yeah it's annoying now because i don't have a spare spare wish to give you a dairy allergy

But what but older you get, isn't it more dangerous going to space if you're like, well, old, and then they fire you up there.

Well, it's quite interesting.

things could go a bit wrong but um um mention star trek uh so william shatner yeah he went into space when he was 90.

yes so i've got a few years that's true yeah and um and i think but but i think you go short gently and it was low earth orbit so you know but uh but he was you know he was weightless and there's a video of him going oh my

whoa

yeah he's loving it

How long do you think it would take you to get to your

the way you want to go though?

Yeah, yeah.

That's that's a while away, right?

It is um so using current technology and that's traveling at 16 kilometers a second whoa yeah i know nice

i could do some of that as well but um 16 kilometers a second um from our star to the next door neighbor star is 76 000 years Man.

Yes.

I like to have a crazy dream.

Yeah, yeah.

But there's new technology we were trying to develop and that you could shorten that down because there's something called Breakthrough Starshot and it's what they call a solar sail.

So a sheet of metalized plastic with a probe in the center and in the past we've used sunlight to sort of accelerate them but now you can have a bank of lasers you know turn off the power to London, fire these lasers,

laser beams, shoot up and it would accelerate this probe to a fifth of the speed of light.

Whoa.

And if you can do that, that's walk factor a quarter.

Sorry, and we're real trekking.

But yeah, warp factor a quarter.

And if you do that, you can get from our star system to the next old star system in 20 years.

But the probe can weigh no more than one gram.

So

again a limitation

and then how do you get back you don't you don't you accelerate to a fifth of speed light and you just continue at the fifth of the speed

well then here's the question then if they get it sorted so that like they can do that with people yes would you do it dr maggie 20 years to get there and you can't come back that's one hell of a thing to if you imagine looking at that on your you're called an uber and you look at that and it says 20 years yeah 20 years yeah well actually also because you go at a fifth of speed of light so you blink and you miss it yeah so you don't even know know it's 20 years so you've lost 20 years of your life

you can have some of my wishes maggie because it sounds like you need a load of them yeah well actually what i would do is rather than doing that although i want to get to the stars i'd retire to mars a one-way ticket to mars right because um if you look at the planets of the solar system i think mars would be the place to go because you know a mercury very close to the sun yeah too too hot venus actually is even hotter than mercury on average because it's got uh the greenhouse effect it's got um things in the atmosphere that heat it up earth we know quite nice

but mars is a rocky planet uh it's cold so it's like antarctica yeah we know it used to have liquid one water running over the surface it could there could be signs that there was life there so i'll be retired if people retire to their gardens yeah you know i'll just retire to the surface of mars go pottering around oh what's that you know i don't know man i think you you want to meet aliens and you already know there's no aliens walking around mars

I reckon if they offer you the

fly-by.

Yeah, I reckon you're doing that.

We'll see.

We'll see.

we'll see before we get into your menu we should also mention uh the art of stargazing it's very exciting what can you tell the listeners about it well um i as an astronomer i i do some stargazing sort of gaze although that was a passion of mine right from the get-go space and astronomy um oh sorry that was me no worries is that from the future yes oh captain kirk no

if you did get a text message from captain kirk what would you hope it would say um it beam me up

asking you to beam him up

Well, I hope he's beaming me up to far-flung disciples.

If he texts you saying, beam me up, maybe you've got the wrong number.

I can't get you up.

You're not in danger, Captain.

Also, they never, I don't think I ever saw on Star Trek anyone saying, I'm going to beam you up.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm going to beam you up, Captain.

It was always a request, wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

Promise.

Beam me up now.

Yeah, beam me up now.

I'm going to beam you up.

Yeah.

So you're not going to beam me up.

No, I'm not ready yet.

And I look forward to Star Trek Boffins getting in contact with me to let me know the exact episodes where someone has said i'm going to beam you up because i'm sure it has happened dr mac is probably biting that time right now

knows exactly when it's been said yeah you're going to flip out

so the art of stargazing which of course we were made of stars right oh yeah stardust so do you think stargazing uh makes you a pervert

I never saw it in that one.

No, I'm feeling quite embarrassed now.

Is it too late to change the book?

Yes, I know.

Okay, yeah, we'll add a title.

Yeah, change the title.

So we are all made of stardust because the stuff that's in us is made in the heart of stars.

But yeah, and stargazing, I think, is important because I've been doing it since I was a child.

But it's something that...

every culture across the world has done.

And so to me, it's the oldest science.

And if you do look at everybody, they've always looked up and wondered.

And that's what we continue doing today.

And so it's just sort of a few handy tips about where to go.

If you live in a flat, for instance, instance, turn off the inside lights, open the windows, look away from street lights.

If you can get somewhere, so you're dark and glorious.

It's pleased places with dark skies status.

Yeah, go out there.

I used to lie on the ground with a glass of Poseco.

The wine really helps.

Where's the best place you've found, like best location where the stars looked the best?

Yes.

So I've been lucky enough to work on some of the big telescopes.

They build them in great locations.

In fact, I'm going to visit one one next month.

It's called the ELT, the Extremely Large Telescope.

What is this?

They name that.

What kid named that?

Well, it comes on the heels of the very large telescope, the VLT, the very large telescope.

So got the very large telescope.

Now we're going for the extremely large telescope.

The VLT is a vegan BLT.

You're on a mountain in the Atacama Desert.

But yeah, because it's the Atacama Desert, driest place on Earth.

The stars there are, and as the sun sets, the sky goes a deep purple and then the stars appear and they are, oh, they make my heart sing to see them.

Wow.

Are you excited one day to be invited to look through the FMT?

I'm worried here.

They will get to a point where they have to say FMT.

Yeah, they've got to say the FMT.

Do I come look through the fucking massive telescope?

Yeah, well I'm happy.

I mean, the bigger the telescope.

People have got the BLT, the ELT, we've got the OWL, the overwhelmingly large telescope, but the FM, the overwhelmingly large telescope, the OWL.

Wow.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

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There's the part of me that everyone sees.

I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Apparently, I know what funny is.

Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

OCD.

I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

That's why I want to tell you about NoCD.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize.

in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

They are here to help.

Still a sparkling water.

Well, this has to be still, because sparkling water makes me burp.

Right.

Yeah, like.

Well, actually, I was thinking, because

this is the restaurant, the genie restaurant.

So burps could be a lot more fun here.

Yeah.

In which case, I would go for sparkling water because if burps were sort of rainbows and tasted of, oh, yeah, anything you could think of, then that would be worth it.

What would you like the burp to taste of?

Oh, gosh.

We've got a 13-year-old daughter, and she's got a vodka thing at the moment.

I don't know why.

Right.

No, she doesn't actually drink it.

Like, I'm very worried.

She doesn't actually drink it, but she's got an obsession.

Amidji, I turn 18, I'm going for the vodka.

She wants to have vodka.

She really wants vodka.

I don't think vodka is that nice on it.

No, it's not.

But

that's such a 13-year-old thing to think, I think.

I know.

When I was younger than that, actually, I had to write a story at school about hunting for treasure.

And

I was maybe

six or seven.

And

I wrote a whole story where I was digging for treasure.

And I kept finding what I thought was a treasure, but it was empty gin bottles and empty vodka bottles.

And I handed it in.

And I told my mum about it.

She was like, they're going to think I'm an alcoholic.

They just think you're finding all these empty spirit bottles in the house every day.

It's like, mom, I've got another one.

Yeah.

Do you know what sparks the interest in the vodka?

No, not really.

I think you're a high percentage proof of science.

She's a scientist.

What can I say?

She's already following your footsteps.

Maybe she heard our Dan Aykroyd episode and really wants the crystal skull.

Maybe.

Crystal head.

Yeah, I'll get that right, James.

You said it enough.

Holy shit.

I can't believe I got it wrong.

Crystal head vodka.

Yeah.

Oh, is that that?

It's delicious on its own, by the way.

Yeah, it is, actually.

No additives.

Yeah.

Is that what we've got here?

Yeah, that's what you've got in that glass before you make your daughter jealous.

Give you a tumbler full of crystal head vodka.

leave her to her dairy you should just sit vodka in front of her and go look what i can have yeah only when you're 18

unless you rebel against me and do it tomorrow

don't do that you want to have special burps in the dream they taste like vodka yeah vodka well actually anything i do like uh amaretto yeah because they're they're quite that's quite sweet i think and quantreaux again quite sweet yeah the boozy burpsy boozy burps yeah yeah obviously in charlie and the chocolate factory they do burps that give them weightlessness essentially like zero gravity burps.

Yes.

Yes.

Now that would be funny.

Yeah.

Because

if I drink enough, I could reach for the stars.

Yeah.

You could end up in that.

So as a woman of science, how long do you think it would take you to burp yourself into outer space as a woman of science?

Yes.

Well, as a woman of science, I've given this lots of thoughts.

And the thing is,

if I want to count myself as an astronaut, I need to go 100 kilometers above sea level.

uh-huh because um there's a sort of an imaginary sort of a sphere around the earth and that is then you're an astronaut yeah and so i'd have to do that so it has to be at least that and but that would be fun so so a hundred kilometers up and let's say goodness me how much am i going to move with each burp 10 centimeters well well it depends on the strength of the burps i guess in the chocolate factory yeah it's about 10 centimeters a burp i think yeah yeah so yeah oh you want me to do the calculation yeah yeah yeah how long would it take you to burp yourself to the point where you're officially an astronaut

And how much would you, what fizzy pop would you have to drink to get up there?

And also, when I got up there, I'd you'd want to wear a spacesuit because otherwise you can't breathe.

Yeah, then you can't breathe.

Yeah, so that's you won't want to.

But then you wonder how the burps are helping because they're trapped inside a spacesuit.

Yeah, because if you do that.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

And then if you, but can you breathe off burps?

It's getting very complicated.

Yeah, but yeah.

But these are things we should consider.

Do you just want still water?

Now you've said that.

Yeah,

stick with the still.

That's fair enough if you just want still.

You look disappointed.

Well, I wanted you to have

the one that burps yourself into space.

Fulfilling my dream.

Yeah.

I mean, if they said to you, Dr.

Maggie, we can send you to this other galaxy, but you have to burp yourself there.

And that's the only way we can do it.

Would you do it?

And it will take 20 years, but literally 20 years.

Like, not blink of an eye, 20 years.

Okay, yeah, but she's not.

Yeah, it'll be 20 years of burping yourself in.

over to the other planet.

That sounds horrible.

Yeah, but this is going to be.

You'll get there eventually, though.

You'll be the first one to meet aliens.

And you can burp yourself back as well.

That is helpful.

Yeah, it's not just your own fly-by, it's what you can come back.

Would you do it?

No.

So your dream's not worth that?

See, I'm trying to work out if it would be better if I was farting.

But just

to be a little bit more.

Well, here's the burp.

Here's your option.

You can burp and it'll take 20 years.

Yeah, it's cool.

Or you can fart and it will take 10 years, but it'll stink.

Yeah.

Well, you know, in the vacuum of space, who's going to...

Oh, unless you're not.

We know a name.

Can you smell farts in space?

Well, so...

As a woman of science.

As a woman of science, can you smell farts in space?

In space.

So if a spart.

So space is a vacuum.

Yeah.

So if you fart, the gas would be there.

And if someone passed through it and could sniff without sort of, you know, freezing and sort of, you know.

Yeah.

suffocating.

Yes, you could.

So you could smell it.

Yes.

But your senses in your nose might sort of freeze, right?

But it'd be just easier to fart in your spacesuit.

You would smell it.

Clean it up.

You would smell it in your suit.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, you smell it in the suit.

Back to considering these, these often not pondered things.

Yeah, well, get ready for more of that because I've got loads of questions.

Poplums or bread.

Poplums or bread.

Dr.

Magdalene.

People with double barrel surnames are very very hard to shout pop-downs or bread at it, so I have to do it really quickly.

Well, Popadon's bread,

Pocock, you see, Popad's, it's all pops together, so it's quite nice.

Yeah, Pop Long Pocock.

One of the things I really miss is your really crusty.

Sorry, I'm going to go in and sort of hear Marks and Spencer's speak here.

A really crusty bread, slathered with your pure salted butter.

Of course, because I can't do the butter

anymore.

And the margarine ain't quite the same.

And so that was one of the things on my menu.

So it would definitely be bread, and it would be definitely really good quality butter and lots of it.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you buttering you like Ed and you're buttering every little morsel of bread?

Yes, and get more butter per

tear off chunks and butter the chunks rather than doing the whole thing.

Have a mouthful, butter it again.

Yeah, yeah.

When I see people at a restaurant take a whole slice and butter it like they're at home.

I just think, where's your fucking ambition gone?

You've got that pat of butter in front of you.

You're not going to get through off you.

Luckily, I'm there to get through it.

So is this going to set the tone for a lot of the menu you're you're we're getting rid of the dairy uh actually no some some things are sort of uh reminiscent some things i could probably actually cook at home so actually i was surprised i thought i might just go through ah yeah yeah but see although i've got a dairy allergy there it's not too bad for me because i never really liked you know solid cheeses when people bring a cheese board around i'd never cheeseboard that yeah i did i didn't like that anyway disgusting you can see well that's pretty unanimous actually not yeah it's unanimously opposite of unanimous head agrees i think cheese boards are the best invention of all time.

We see

and I count as two votes, so it's a draw.

How do you count as two votes?

I do.

Since when?

I'm the cheese guy.

How long has that been happening for?

All the decisions we've made that Ed's got two votes?

Quite a while.

But there's always.

No wonder I never get my own way on the stage.

Yeah, you just didn't notice.

Bonito gets no votes.

Oh, yeah, that's fair.

Do you get Benito's votes?

Yeah, I get Benito's votes.

Yeah, exactly.

Every time I think we've all voted, it's actually you voting twice.

That's why I always lose.

Yes.

that's a big shame as a woman of science you think that's fair

as a woman of science no I do not I believe in equality from all of you I'll hand back one of my votes

let's get into your menu proper your dream starter so dream starter is actually going back to my childhood and it's something that um it isn't affected by the dairy allergy at all and it's nigerian because my parents come from Nigeria, even though I was born here.

And it's something called Jollof Rice

with Doddo.

Oh, you're you're familiar, Jollof Rice.

Oh, oh, we've got a running chat about Jollof Rice.

Oh, my podcast, we've had many guests, we've had many guests from Nigerian backgrounds, many guests with Ghanaian backgrounds.

Yes, we've had uh guests with uh Sierra Leonean background as well, yeah, definitely West African, yeah.

So, a lot of West African guests, and there's always the Jollof Wars, the Jollof Wars on this podcast.

Yeah, I did, okay, so yeah, I take a step back

who has the best Jolloff, and it's uh,

a lot of opinions flying around.

Weirdly, so far, no one has chosen a country that they do not themselves come from or have benefited from.

No one has gone, yeah, to be fair, actually.

Someone else.

Yeah, actually, next door, gone it, they're dollar prices.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'm three quarters Nigerian and one quarter Sierra Leone.

So I both do pretty well.

Nigeria is slightly better, of course.

Well, it's 75% better.

Would you have that mix in the bowl?

75% Jolloff dollar from Nigeria.

You'd have like

a little lunch tray with segments.

That's it.

Three Nigerian segments and one Sierra and Leonian segment.

As a man of maths.

Well,

may I congratulate you, Ed.

I like it, Europe.

Yeah, very good.

But I think, perhaps, this is the thing.

What you need is a Jollof rice taste-off.

Where you actually have a bonito box with little sections.

A sort of Nigerian, you know, oh, but yeah, but

unspecified, so people don't know.

Blind tasting.

Blind tasting.

Blind Jolloff.

A jollof off.

Yeah.

A jollof off.

I like it.

Taste jollof.

Brilliant.

Very exciting.

Okay, well, we will do that.

I mean, but for you, Nigerian is...

Well, thanks.

I haven't tasted the others.

As a woman of science.

The woman was fine.

Yeah, you know that you have to.

So what was this by all of them?

What was the thing you wanted with the Jollof rice?

Dodo.

Dodo.

Oh, that's what we called it when I was a little.

But it's just fry pantée.

Nice.

But yeah, this is, to me, this, as a child, this was the nectar of the gods.

gods yeah ambrosia yes shipped down from on high yeah and um yes and but the thing is choosing your plantain is very is an art form yes uh because you don't want to go for green because they're really fibrous and

and but you want it to go because um yeah so plantains are like bananas uh but it's like a a slightly overly ripe banana because if it is too sort of fresh then yeah it's too fibrous but if it's sometimes they do go moldy so then you know you've gone too far but there's a sweet spot, you know, probably for about a day or two where you slice into it and it's sort of sticky and sort of when you fry it, it sort of caramelizes.

And so you get a sort of a crisp outer coating and then sort of chomp into the sort of delicious centre.

That sounds very good.

I love plantain.

Also, yes.

So how do you do you fry it or do you?

I don't think I've done it at home that much.

I think, but whenever I'm out and I see it available, I will absolutely get plantain.

Because it feels, especially if you're having it in the main meal, it feels like a little cheat where you get an, it's almost an extra dessert that fits in perfectly there you go he's not made of stone

because it is quite sweet but yeah it's really delicious also you mentioned there um coming from on high from the gods and the ambrosia of the gods now i didn't expect that from a woman of science um

we we had uh brian cox on who i refer i i refuse to give him some sort of whatever he is professor or

i'm not saying that because that you never called him a man of science i never called him a man of science i didn't respect him as much

uh because he would refuse to say ambrosio the gods yeah he would not say that why

he would hate the gods oh we see gods full stop any size shape or form also he didn't he didn't enjoy us asking him if um dark matter was evil he wouldn't be drawn on that

Can you believe that?

We're inquisitive.

Yes.

Well,

as a watcher of the Marvel Universe, Dark Matter sounds a bit dark.

There we go.

Thank you.

That is what I'm talking about.

Thank you very much.

Again, it's like the ELT and the VLT.

I think they should have fought fought back the name a bit more yeah

but dark matter is just sort of a name they gave it because we just don't know what it is yeah it's just just dark we can't see it it's dark okay

but we can't see it because it's hiding because it's evil

it's lurking out there

up to mischief so that's fair enough if if brian cox is listening sure he will

you say to him be fair brian it could be evil Oh, actually,

as a woman of science, I think I can say, Brian, yes, it could be evil.

We don't know.

We have no idea what it is.

Thank you very much.

In your face, Cox.

In your face.

We knew it.

We called it before.

And you spoke down to us.

I can see papers coming out of the evilness of dark matter.

What should we do?

Everyone's going to be reporting on how dark matters are evil.

I mean, there's a lot of reports now about aliens and stuff, isn't there?

Yes.

Are you excited about this?

Well, actually, yes.

And in fact, I'm working on a program at the moment looking at sort of the alien files.

Really?

And sort of looking at people's experiences of sort of aliens and sort of what they see and and trying to put a scientific bent on it and say um you know what else could it be what they've seen you know was it really aliens or yeah or what else could it have been yeah could it be could it be for example that they're absolutely crazy

that shit crazy yeah could it be that they're crazy

first question you ask quick question before we get into the alien stuff are you crazy then wait for the answer

thing is if you say you are crazy and you know it does well i mean because you're aware so yeah those guys mean you're not crazy.

No, they're the craziest guys of all.

Yeah,

I'm crazy, yeah, they're so crazy, even they can't deny it.

I say, I'm a self-certified lunatic, yeah, yeah, you do, yes,

Benito.

We've got to tighten the booking policy for this.

I didn't know we got a self-certified lunatic on.

Anyway,

but by lunatic, do you mean you love the moon?

I do, yes,

yeah.

Oh, you sound disappointing.

No, no, that's nice.

I like that.

I feel safe again.

You love the moon, that's why you're a drink.

I'll drink to that.

Yeah.

They're genuinely both drinking now.

Just for the listener.

Let's move on to your main course.

Yes.

And so this I found quite troubling because I was thinking in this fantastic restaurant, this wonderful location, what would I like to eat?

And I came up with, well, it was almost a combination of a sort of a Christmas dinner or just a Sunday roast.

Yeah.

And I don't know why, but that just really appealed.

And I don't know if it's just now.

I mean, it made me ask me next week, it'd be something different.

And it's Sunday roast.

I started doing a roast pork.

Yeah, so it's not too fatty, but it's got the crackling on.

And not the chewy crackling, because that just hurts my teeth.

But, you know, the crisp stuff with the fat removed.

And then, yeah,

and then the roast pork, which is something we're moisturizing with applesauce.

I'm trying to sort of skirt around the side at the moment because I want to do something separate for that.

But yeah, with applesauce and the raced potatoes and roasted parsnips.

And then maybe sort of unfortunately, Brussels Sprouts.

My daughter and I really love Brussels Sprouts.

Lovely.

Oh, yeah.

See, I don't know many people who do.

If you do them right, you know, absolutely delicious.

Actually, yeah, with a few lardons and things like that, roast chestnuts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very good.

Nice and crispy.

Roasted ones.

Yeah, so that's what I was thinking.

Yeah,

quite a sizable plate, you know, with this all piled on.

Oh, but actually, the piece that resistance

is the Yorkshire pudding.

Aha, yes.

Yes.

And so this is sort of the non-dairy.

So it could all be served in a massive Yorkshire pudding if I was as far as I'm concerned.

I love it.

Because the thing is, as

using sort of the non-dairy milks, I can't make Yorkshire.

I used to make fantastic Yorkshire puddings.

They'd fluff up in the oven, they'd come out and they'd hardly sink at all.

And

I'd eat them.

But I can't do it.

Because with non-dairy milk, there's something in the cow's milk that enables the Yorkshire.

And so they come out sort of little flat pancakes now.

It's just so disappointing.

Yeah.

But you two want a big dairy Yorkshire pudding.

Yes.

Big enough to have the whole

inside and so I can chip away at the corners and sort of you know Yes, absolutely brilliant.

That's taking up no real estate on the plate because it is the plate well this is what I'm gonna say normally normally I have a go at people who put Yorkshire puddings because I think they take up too much real estate on the plate But if it is the plate that's that's a great loophole.

You gotta

know why

yeah yeah because you know I'm enjoying actually how Dr.

Mackey's quite at odds with you Ed.

Yeah, loves Yorkshire puddings.

Yeah.

But if it's a big Yorkshire pudding, I can completely understand that.

It's the.

Would it be fair to call the big Yorkshire pudding the black hole of the roast dinner?

Ooh, yeah.

Swallowing up all the other stuff.

Yeah, everything gets sucked in.

You probably get a lot more in one of those black holes than you think you can, right?

Surely.

And think of the gravy because you could really go young hole.

Yeah.

Go high because you've got your own look now.

Would you do that?

Would you just pour it until it's full to the brim of gravy?

No, no.

I want to.

I thought you're asking, would you put gravy in a black hole?

And what?

Actually,

would you put gravy in a black hole?

All I know is if you did put gravy in a black hole, like everything else, it will get spaghettified.

Spaghettified?

I'd love to love that.

I can ask them for two questions.

What do you mean?

And what would happen if you put spaghetti in a black hole?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, so spaghettification is actually a scientific term.

But what happens is, with spaghetti, because a black hole, the gravity is so strong, the gravity gravity at your head and the gravity at your toes would be significantly different so as you fall into the black hole you get strung out into a string of spaghetti whoa

yes but and if you ask about spaghetti going into a black hole spaghetti is already spaghetti but i guess it gets even more elongated it wouldn't turn into a different shape of pasta no

bite it would get penified

oh look that black hole slip

penified i need to say that very carefully

yeah yeah yeah

i mean that's exciting i i reckon if you put spaghetti in a black hole, they wouldn't know what to do with it.

We were going to spaghettify it, and they go, what the?

And then it would

cease to be.

Yeah, yeah.

Cannot compute.

That'd be it.

It would just suck all the sauce off and spit the spaghetti back up.

Yeah.

Take a spaghetti back.

I got enough.

Who would you most like to be spaghettified?

What human being is alive right now?

Oh, no, no.

Actually, oh, actually, I don't.

That's what I'm getting to get.

It's like the high moral ground state.

I can't think of anyone.

It would be an awful death.

It would be an awful death.

I'll give you three options.

Brian Cox is quite tall and thin anyway, isn't he?

He's tall and thin anyway.

He kind of already looks like he's been spaghettified.

Yeah, so

therefore he'd be rejected from the black hole.

So therefore, he'd be saved.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he would get rejected.

Maybe he has already been in one.

I reckon he has.

I reckon if you look at old De Reem food, he actually looks completely different because he hasn't been spaghettified yet.

And then

he got really into science after BV.

He looked at a black hole and spaghettified him.

And then he came back and wanted to understand what had happened yes and that's why he got into it that's how he was able to reinvent himself because people didn't recognize him from dv because he's been spaghettified so it sounds lovely yeah you said like uh earlier like it was a cross between a christmas dinner roast dinner but it felt just like a sunday roast it doesn't feel very christmassy well yeah you see because i don't that's because you haven't met the um the the rogue element the pigs in blankets oh yeah pigs in blankets obviously i must admit i'm one of those people that do eat pigs in blankets not at christmas yeah because why just say them for Christmas?

They could.

Also, it's like people eat sausage and bacon all year round.

Why aren't they thinking, I'm going to wrap that bad boy around that bad boy?

Yeah.

Quite.

So, yeah, just a few of those within the giant Yorkshire.

Limited gravy.

I don't want it four, but you know, I can sort of like rice gravy, but yeah, they're in there too.

Yeah, you've got to have it in there.

And see, and the Brussels sprouts, too.

So it's, you know, reminiscent of a Christmas day.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it is quite Christmassy.

Again, you know, didn't expect, you know, scientists could come on and choose a Christmas-related thing.

That's very, that's very

science that meets religion once again.

Well, yes.

In this podcast.

Yeah, but you see, I was brought up when I was growing up, my father thought I was going to be a nun.

So I was really religiously.

And I went to sort of 13 different schools, but some of them were sort of Catholic, some of them were Church of England.

So I I'd like to spread the joy.

But I was brought up really religiously.

And I don't see necessarily a clash between a science and religion.

Yeah.

And I go out and look to lots of schools and speak to kids.

And they say, you know, sort of a how does the Big Bang fit in with

the fact that you know creation was the seven days.

And i said well when did day and night come in because before that you know a day could have been billions of years so yeah and i think it's i like harmony well that's nice yeah a bit of harmony on the podcast quite often religion's used to explain science back in the day right oh yes yeah explain things we don't understand yeah yeah yes didn't expect this from ed what do you mean you're wiser than i thought i'm a man of science wow man of science annually saw him with those numbers earlier yeah yeah yeah when you heard about the jollof tray wow i guess the jollof tray should have tipped me off.

Your dream side dish then, is that going to be Christmassy?

Is that going to be roast dinner-y?

No, it's and it's quite, quite weird.

I think it's called a tomato consomme.

Right.

And because I had something like this once, and only once in my life.

And a friend had taken us to a really expensive restaurant.

And someone, there was sort of like, it was like tomato soup on the menu and i'm thinking yeah that's a bit cheap and i tasted it and it blew my taste buds because it liked just slightly coloured water but when you taste it the explosion of tomato was fantastic and also it was actually this was before the dairy allergy but but it was creamy tomato yeah in a liquid that was clear and i don't understand how they got that flavor yeah it's it's amazing that sort of thing because it's like they've got the very essence of tomato you had something like that on your dream menu for the 100th episode.

There was like a tomato dish that had like that on it, right?

Well, kind of, yeah.

It was tomato done loads of different ways.

But weirdly, last night I was talking to someone who was saying about what you're, they went to Aulis, a restaurant, and they got an a bloody Aulis, which was like a Aulice Bloody Mary.

But that was clear.

It waits, yes.

And they said it just tastes exactly like a bloody Mary.

Wow.

Yes.

And yet it's clear.

Yeah.

Had a little leaf of basil in it.

And they thought they bought me the wrong drink.

It doesn't look bloody at all.

But they said it was delicious.

It's just Mary, really, isn't it?

It really is just that.

That's what.

See, I said this.

Yeah.

I said this last night.

I said, that's just Mary.

And they all just went, okay.

So, yeah, yesterday I was like, where the hell is that?

This is why.

And I've said this before, Maggie.

This is why we shouldn't hang out with anyone else.

Yeah.

Should just be me and James, because we understand each other.

The world's not ready.

It's got to that point now where we're just basically thinking differently worded versions of the same thoughts.

Yes.

Actually, I do that with my daughter, and it's creepy.

Yeah.

We actually come to the the same conclusions exactly the same point

she's gonna kill me for that she is i was about to say that oh yeah yeah ed was gonna say he was ready that's why i had to get in there real quick i was like he's gonna get there before me in the vodka jug the race of the vodka junk

i think this is lovely as well because like you've had the jollof rice plantain full roast dinner in a in a yorkshire pudding the consomme might act as quite a nice sort of palate cleanser yeah an amuse bouche that's what i was thinking yeah because i was going because it was side but i thought you know perhaps i could you know and that's it yeah sort of yeah because it's slightly acidic you clean the palate

ready for the next yeah i like that's delicious and also so when you like when you had it for the first time do you immediately try and figure out how they've done it and your your scientific brain can think okay how they've done this yes and how can i do it at home right yeah but yeah and it's sort of yeah so how did they get because as you say it is like the essence of something the very best of it in a glass and so how have they what process have they gone through and i think it's something pretty complicated but um uh yes but the fact that they can do that i i do want to know and i do that's what i do with food i analyze it so i'm like oh yeah that crackling was very good you know i wonder what temperature they're on yeah yeah oh yeah you're straight to temperatures methods i know temperatures pressures that's what i get a lot of videos of crackling on the internet because of my algorithm and uh Your algorithm.

Well, my algorithm pictures me stuff it thinks I might like and a lot of it's pork.

And I get a lot of videos of, I think they do it in Chinese kitchens a lot where they'll cook the pork and then the skin is like there's no crackling on it whatsoever oh yes but the pork is cooked and then they get like oil that's super hot and they just ladle it over the top and the whole thing puffs up

into amazing crackling yes yes it's a short sharp shock yeah yeah and and then and the temperature change it just expands everything out yeah oh i haven't tried that that's pretty impressive it looks dangerous it looks pretty dangerous yes i guess you'll need an industrial kitchen or something so yeah i mean the person who came up with that would you call them a scientist Oh, yes.

In fact, I'll call most chefs scientists.

Yeah.

I think there's an inner scientist in everyone.

And my job is to bring it out.

Well, you do that.

You do a lot, as you say, with your visits to schools and stuff.

So how long have you been doing that for now?

Going to schools and like talking to kids about science?

Yeah, about 18 years.

That's long enough now that some of them.

Yes.

Have you seen them have like proper jobs in, and then you catch up with them after you'd seen them when they were a little kid?

Yes.

Actually, well, sometimes it's usually

when I'm arguing with our daughter.

Oh, wait, put down the vodka.

Someone comes up and say, oh, Maggie.

You came to my school when I was a kid.

Now I studied physics.

Now I'm going on doing something else.

And my biggest question is,

are you enjoying it?

Because my biggest fear is that

they didn't actually want to do it.

And I thought, somehow, you know, coaxed them into it.

I hate this job.

Why did you talk to me?

I think you've ruined their life.

Yes.

Because it's scary having an influence like that.

But it's also wonderful.

So far, it's all...

Actually, there was one girl who said, you know, hi, you came to my school.

And after that, I started doing A-level physics, but I didn't like it, so I gave it up.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be sorry.

Yes, just do what you love.

Yeah.

Yeah, you gave us some options.

Yeah.

Society explored it when not for me.

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Your dream drink then, and you kind of already had, so you've had the consomme.

Is it a bit drinky?

A bit drinky.

Oh, yes, yes, drinky.

Yes.

Oh, I see.

So this isn't just a drink that goes through the meal.

This is sort of a...

No, it can be.

No, no, no, it can be.

Yeah.

It can be however you want it to be.

It can go all the way through the meal.

You can just have it once and savour it, whatever you like.

Actually, it's a bit like you were saying, when you were talking about digging up the bottles,

I have something about Prosecco.

Yeah.

And there was a sign at my daughter's school saying, Prosecco and cheese.

And so, Prosecco, that's the stuff mom loves.

Loves.

She loves that.

She drinks it every morning.

She doesn't like the cheese, though.

Yeah, just give her the cheese, just the Prosecco.

She hates cheese.

But I was thinking sort of a nice Prosecco to sort of, you know, yeah.

And it's funny because I said okay, I won't take fizzy water, but Prosecco, somehow,

somehow, no burping.

Now we're burping all the way to Mars.

Yeah.

But

it was one of the things about the water as well.

I like still water, but I like it really cold.

And the Prosecco not quite so cold because you want the flavours.

But yeah, I think, yes, I think maybe at this time, you know, I've sort of settled.

I'm probably pretty full by now.

Yeah.

Yeah, sort of like Prosecco, just sort of again.

I think Prosecco, yeah, throughout the meal as well, I think it's perfect.

Yeah.

but see I couldn't like that why not champagne why not you know because this is you know I'm limited I could have you know I don't know

do you like champagne as much not as nice I think it's champagne for a special occasion but a meal like this I think I might prefer Prosecco Prosecco would be great with like the spice of the jarloff as well yes yes that will match it well yeah when you say special occasions has there ever been anything you've been involved with in work scientific breakthroughs where you've popped out the champagne there's a really large telescope um

not

but there is the James Webb Space Telescope, JWST, largest space telescopes ever built, mirror of the telescope, which is the...

bit that gathers the radiation is a 6.5 meters so and sort of 10 000 scientists across the world worked on it and i was one of them and um it was launched on christmas 2021 i think and the things it was horribly late horribly over budget and it was launching and we thought oh so yeah sometimes launches go horribly wrong and it launched and it was successful and so yes christmas day Good excuse for it.

Yeah.

That's good.

You worked on the biggest telescope in the world.

Yeah, the biggest space telescope ever.

Yeah.

Man, I'm surprised you didn't leave with that straight away.

Yeah.

You're the most humble person I've ever met.

Yeah.

Just sit here, let us chat nonsense about dark matter being evil.

That should have been the back of your mind.

That should have been the answers of Popadums or Bread.

I made the biggest space telescope in the world.

Just get it out.

Well, you asked me, Popad's or Bread.

I made the biggest space telescope in the world.

How long did that take then?

Oh,

actually, from...

That's a problem.

It was horribly late.

So I think so it's meant to take 14 years, but actually sort of talk about 20.

Did you work on the whole thing?

No, no.

Do you are you imagining Maggie building this by hand?

She's been working on it for 20 years.

Yeah.

So beefing away.

Polishing the mirror.

And so, because with it, it's the telescope itself with the mirror.

And actually, that was quite clever because it was so big, they had to actually unfold it in space.

And then it had something called a heat shield underneath, which is like sheets of plastic again, but they're about the size of a tennis cord.

And it all had to fold up really small so it could get inside the rocket.

And then it's launched and it sits 1.5 million kilometers away from Earth.

Wow.

And it looks in deep, dark space, because it's picking, it's not an optical telescope.

It doesn't look at visible light.

It looks at heat energy.

So it looks deep, it's just dark space and sort of picks up radiation that way.

So you've got the telescope itself, which gathers the light, for want of a better word, but also you get instruments.

And I worked on two of the instruments the near spec the near infrared spectrometer and a mirror the mid-infrared well in mid-infrared spectrometer I think Miri anyway yes but they're these two instruments on board and I mean so I probably worked on them for about five six years and then you sort of you do your stuff you make your units it all goes together and then eventually it gets launched but yeah it was nerve-wracking because it's so and yet 10,000 scientists but it's lovely to be in a team like that of people across the world but then if there's 10,000 of you are you being like please don't let the mirror be the thing that breaks

my way,

but and also because often it's sort of you're just a subsystem for one of the instruments, yeah, and you're always worried that it's oh, oh no, there's something stopped working, it seems to be this.

Imagine everyone having to sign a birthday card for someone on the team.

Yes,

it's Pocock's birthday

card's fucking bigger than the mirror.

It's going around,

you're gonna have to fly from place to place as well.

I'll tell you what, Maggie.

I didn't think of that one.

And that made me like...

Sometimes it gets me with something.

Come on.

Spring that even the darkness.

I wasn't there at all.

I was in serious mode thinking about this telescope.

Yeah, bad luck.

Someone was doing their job.

Thank God Edward's there.

But pick up the slack.

I'm there.

Thinking seriously about a telescope.

I was thinking for like 10,000 comedians had to work together on something.

Yeah.

When it happened.

But comedians.

are fringe.

Yeah, look at that.

Look at that mess.

But comedians, you think, so sharp and so witty and

that's that spontaneous.

Not all of us.

Not all of us, Dr.

Maggie.

And

those of us who are are very selective when we actually do that,

when we choose to employ those skills.

I don't think

if you see two comics try and write the scripts together, that script's never getting handed in.

Anytime I see a sip comic written by two comedians, I think, well, well done.

Well done for doing that together.

Was there someone holding them together as they went off in different directions?

I always think one of you wrote it.

One of you wrote it.

Yes, and someone else just put a tea in there.

Yeah.

The other one's more famous.

That's how that's got a very hard.

We arrive at dream dessert.

Yes.

Very exciting for me as a sweet tooth boy.

Oh, yes.

And I'm pretty sure I'm in good hands.

You poo-pooed the cheeseboard board already so yes yeah that's that's done

and so uh actually this is a very specific dessert

and um because of dairy allergy one of the things i really miss is lemon meringue pie oh yeah but not just any lemon meringue pie oh no

so when i was working out in the telescopes in chile i used to sort of spend um day and night on the telescopes and so i was um installing uh um an instrument there um something called bh ross bench mounted high resolution optical spectrograph It just took the telescope light and then stretched it into rainbow colours so we could analyze the light.

But I was there on my own, living in a little bungalow on top of a mountain.

And so I'd go to the telescope during the day and sort of work on it.

And then I'd sort of come home at night.

But once a week, I'd go down to sea level,

off the mountain, down to sea level, and I'd stay there for one night.

And I'd go to the supermarket and get supplies and take them back up to the bungalow the next day.

And there was this wonderful supermarket in this town called La Serena.

And there they had the ultimate lemon meringue pie and I don't know if you've ever been to Costco.

I've never been in one.

Yeah so they in Costco they do these really

about gosh yeah about 30 centimeters in diameter.

Because everything's massive in Costco.

You have to buy like 400 rolls of toilet paper.

That's it because yeah they don't do that they don't do the individuals.

And so they do these massive cakes and it's about that size, about 30 centimeters across and it was a lemon meringue pie and I'll take one up for the week and you know sort of work through it and then get back.

But the thing is it was just so lovely and it was just a treat because if you'd been wake all day on the telescope and you were tired, you'd come back, have a glass of Chilean champagne, yet toast the moon as a lunatic and have a piece of lemon meringue pie.

So it's this very specific lemon meringue pie.

And I didn't realise I went on about it quite so much.

But my daughter, who's 13, I went to this telescope 20 years ago.

My daughter's 13 and we're going out to these telescope and she said, oh yes, we need to go to the telescope and get the lemon meringue pie.

Because obviously I have just bigged it up.

And so yes, that's what I'd like, a slice of that lemon meringue pie.

That's such a lovely story yeah and are you saying you haven't been back there yet no and we're going there next month i think it'll be there

what if it's not there the lemon meringue pie well the thing is even it is i can't eat it because it will have dairy in it oh yeah but um but i could again just like lorry have another slice no mom fault go and eat it yeah yeah you have to see her enjoying it yes man that's really lovely just to be like working on the telescope go down to sea level get your lemon meringue pie bring it up for the week toast the moon yeah

eat the pie toast the moon

eat the pie toast the moon when the moon hits your eye like a lemon meringue pie

that's that's really nice and uh would you have anything with the lemon meringue pie in those days or was it just the yeah the champagne oh yeah actually just the champagne really because i was thinking sort of creams or stuff like that but you don't need it do you it's all there in a lemon meringue pie that's it like the totally agree because you've got the tart lemon you've got the fluffy meringue you've got the yeah the pie base how big is the meringue on top of the lemon?

Is it like a massive chunky meringue that's really high or is it quite shallow?

Well, actually, no.

So

the lemon to meringue ratio was about 50-50.

Right?

So, yeah.

And so, and I don't like it, because sometimes you can get too much lemon as well.

Yeah.

Because that sort of overwhelms everything.

But it was about 50-50.

And the meringue stood up to the lemons.

Here's a question.

I've just been thinking about it.

Yes.

Where's the dairy in the lemon meringue pie?

So I think it could be in the base.

Could be.

Yeah.

Well, it depends on how you make.

I guess butter might have to go in the basement.

Yes, and if you're making a really good pastry, I think it's butter.

Yeah.

And so, so, but you can make it without.

Yeah.

And I do make pastry sort of with margarine and things like that or butter substitutes.

And then I think in the lemon, I don't know if you'd actually...

Yeah, I'm trying to think it through whether I think you could make a very good dairy-free lemon meringue pie, you know.

Oh, right.

I reckon you could.

Because the egg, you're all right with eggs.

Eggs are fine, yes.

I regularly have an argument as to whether eggs is dairy.

What?

Is eggs dairy?

You regularly have an argument.

Yeah, with my wife.

Ooh.

Ed's wife is a dummy.

No, no, no, no.

But what do you think?

Is eggs dairy?

No.

I am very opinionated on this.

Yeah.

I think eggs is dairy.

What are you on?

What about?

It's a cheeseboard all over again.

Just when we were bonding on the past.

Eggs are daily.

So Charlie is saying they're not.

I actually can't remember which side I'm on.

As a man of science.

You can't remember which one.

As a man of science.

I'm not quite sure what I'm arguing.

Yeah.

Is a cow laying an egg, Ed?

No.

It can't be if I'm having to say this to you.

But do you think all dairy has to come from cows?

Well, okay.

Ha ha.

Okay.

A sheep, a goat.

None of them are laying eggs.

No.

But also, I don't think sheep or goats is actually dairy.

I think dairy is cow.

It's not beef.

Goat milk?

Could you have goat milk then?

I don't know.

Every so often I buy it.

Bonito, go get some goat milk.

We're doing an experiment.

Every so often I buy it and I put it in the fish.

It's like vegan cheese.

And I buy it and I think, oh yeah, but it looks like cheese and it looks like milk.

And I find it physically hard to eat it because I know the effect it could potentially have on me.

It's probably not a risk worth taking, is it?

No, it should be a risk where I can sort of, yeah, I've got the EpiPen and all the antihistamines ready to go.

But physically, and it seems weird because it's 13 years since I've had this allergy.

But I look at it and I think, I just can't.

Yeah.

I mean, the lemon meringue pie, we can all agree, sounds delicious.

Yes, but I think we're letting you off the hook here for saying chickens

laying eggs on the bottom.

Well, that's diet.

But I can't remember if I think that.

You can't remember if you think that on you.

You're going to flip it.

Even worse.

It might be

what she thinks, and then I think the opposite.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is broadly the position I take.

Yes.

Well, on most things.

It's a great relationship.

Yeah.

It's a friction.

I mean, it's a...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to keep things spicy, right?

Yeah, sure.

Just because it's great.

Yeah, yeah.

Dr.

Maggie, before we read your menu back to you, I think it's nice that you are a woman of science, but very, very upbeat and positive.

Yes.

And we live in times where we're very scared at the minute.

There's loads of stuff going on that's terrifying.

We've touched on

people starting to say aliens exist.

We've got AI coming for us.

We've got the climate crisis.

How do you stay upbeat when you know so much?

Oh.

Save a good question for the end.

Yes.

Sit back and think about this one.

I'm going to talk about

i feel like you've got this the wrong way around james so i said that at the top yes but then yeah but everyone's heard the podcast they've heard how upbeat dr maggie is yeah actually

if you i would have been in a different mindset if you'd started with that yeah but see i i think i can stay positive because i go out and see a lot of kids and i speak to them and uh i hear about them and i can see what they do and we do have a hell of a lot of challenges and all the ones you've mentioned and more as well but i think we can do it I think when we work together we can achieve the seemingly impossible it's it's a tagline but I think it's true yeah when we collaborate but also when we collaborate together and I think there are silos you know scientists over here you know creatives over there things like that it's all it's all part of the same thing and when we sort of pick and mix and sort of move around and work together that's when I think we get results and I think that the world is in good hands I think the kids are going to sort of right some of the wrongs that that some of us adults have committed.

So

I can't believe I didn't save a wish to stop the climate crisis.

Yeah, giving people dairy allergies.

That's why I'm not going to be able to do it for my dairy allergy, you son of a bitch.

Oh no.

Man.

See, if you started with that at the top, it might have got a different one.

Make sure you don't have eggs.

I'll avoid eggs from that.

Easter eggs.

I think.

Easter eggs.

I think you're thinking of Easter eggs.

Or region made your batching now, see how you feel about it.

Water, really cold, still water.

Problems of bread.

Crusty bread with salted butter, loads of salted butter.

Start a jollof rice with dodo.

Doddo?

Doddo.

Doddo.

Main course, roast pork with crackling, applesauce, roast potatoes, parsnips, Brussels sprouts, pigs in blankets, loads of gravy, all inside a giant Yorkshire pudding.

Side dish, tomato consomme.

Drink, Prosecco, dessert, lemon meringue pie from near...

Lazarena?

Oh, yeah, Lazarena.

In Chile with a glass of Chilean.

champagne to toast the moon.

That's a good menu.

Actually, yeah, so thank you for enabling me to participate in that.

Because actually, reading it back, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it sounds pretty delicious.

Yeah, you'd hope you'd feel like that because you've just said it all.

I know.

Actually, can I just change it?

Also, we've just had a little surprise for you.

We've also had your daughter's menu sent in to us.

We want her to do a menu.

Do you want to read that?

I've had it texted to me, June.

Water course, vodka.

Looks like problems of red vodka.

Starter course vodka.

Yeah, it goes on that.

Is there with vodka.

She chooses the lemon round quietly, I've got it.

But with vodka.

Yeah.

Chosen the moon with the vodka.

Thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Maggie.

Thank you.

It's been so much fun.

Thank you, Dr.

Maggie.

To the moon.

To the moon.

To the moon.

There we are, James.

You know what?

We learnt a lot about...

science and space from Dr.

Maggie, but I felt like we also taught her some things about science and space.

We did, and that's what every great scientist should be open to.

Yes.

Is learning from

their fellow human beings.

And thank the Lord if the Lord does exist up there in space that Maggie did not pick Milky Way magic stars.

Yes.

Thank you Dr.

Maggie for not picking Milky Way magic stars and for sharing so much about your life and science and food, family.

A delightful guest.

And you should get to Maggie's book, which is coming out on November 2nd, The Sky at Night, The Art of Stargazing, My Essential Guide to Navigating the Night Sky.

If you are an amateur stargazer and you want to know a little bit more about it,

this is the book for you.

And someone from Penguin Random House came in and Morgana.

Shout out to Morgana.

Shout out to Morgana.

And

said that last time when we promoted one of their books, because it was out on eBrey Press, I sang a song about eBrew Press.

Yes.

Causton Press.

Yeah.

I can't remember the song.

No.

Do you want to give it another go?

E to the B to the U to the R to the Y?

Because it's Eberry Press.

Brilliant.

Because Morgana was saying that they considered putting your song as a reel

on

Ebery Press's Instagram.

And now you've got two songs.

You have a whole album by the time.

Have caused the press used my song?

No, I don't think so.

That's mind-blowing, man.

Yeah.

What's going on with that?

Eberry Press to the rescue, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

Looks like I'm drinking ebury press from now on.

Get my book, Glutton.

I'd love you to get it.

I'm also on tour next year.

Hot Diggity Dog is the number of Doggy.

Diggity Dog.

It's available on edgamble.co.uk.

And the great Benito is also having a nice time.

Yes, he is.

Thank you very much for listening.

We will see you next week.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Keep looking up at the stars.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club Podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true Saturday, the 13th of September at King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.