Ep 191: Paul Feig

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the vermouth of good chat, the gin of fantastic humor, the ice of the internet, mixing them together, then pouring into the beautiful podcast martini glass and serving with a twist of fun.

Speaker 1 I absolutely love it. Ed Gamble, my name's James Acaster.
This is the Dream Restaurant. We invite a guest in every single week.

Speaker 1 We ask them their favourite ever start and main course dessert, side dish, and drink. And as Ed's little clue there, little clue might have tipped you off.
This week's guest is Paul Feig.

Speaker 1 Paul Feig, an amazing film director, writer,

Speaker 1 cocktail man now. Yes,

Speaker 1 during the lockdowns, he was making cocktails online and he's turned it into a book called Cocktail Time, which is full of loads of recipes for cocktails as well as stories from his life.

Speaker 1 A little bit of advice in there if you want. It's the ultimate guide to growing-up fun, and that's out now.
You can get that. We've been flicking through it.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to make some stuff from that. Yeah, yeah.
There's so many great ideas in there. The way that he writes as well, the stories that he tells, it's a wonderful read.

Speaker 1 I'm genuinely looking forward to making some of these cocktails, some of them which I've never had before, but they look and sound delicious.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe some of them will come up in the chat with Paul Fig. Yes, fingers crossed.
But Ed, listen, we both love Paul Fig.

Speaker 1 However, if he brings up an ingredient, a secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable, we will kick Paul Fig out of the dream restaurant. We will.
And today, that secret ingredient is

Speaker 1 bad meat in a Brazilian

Speaker 1 restaurant we we've tried to find out for ages the exact thing that makes them really ill on bridesmaids we've been sat here for a long time googling what gives them food poisoning in bridesmaids every single website just says bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant that's all it says so that's what the secret ingredient is very unlikely he's going to choose that yes because the word bad is in it yeah no one says I'll have some bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant please

Speaker 1 but I mean also I think he knows his stuff you know yeah he seems to be a foodie he's at least a drinkie he's a drinkie but often drinkies are foodies yeah drinkies are foodies they go hand in hand I'm very excited for this one James Paul Fink's done so much amazing stuff yeah I mean we're we're both fans of Frinks and Geeks yeah the aforementioned bridesmaids of course and the US office you know oh come on I'm gonna try and get a US office in there yeah like a little reference you've got to drop a ref I'm gonna try and sneak under the radar see if I can get it past it see what happens we'll see also there's some talk Benito's let us know, of him making us a martini, which is why I did the martini intro.

Speaker 1 Because I got gin on the brain. I'm very excited about that.
If we get a martini made for us by someone who has a cocktail-making book out. Yes.
And his own gin. And his own gin, of course.

Speaker 1 Artingstool's London dry gin. Can't wait to try it.
Yeah, me too. We've got a good history of guests on the pod who have their own spirits.
and them turning out to be delicious.

Speaker 1 So very excited for that. Very excited for the chat.
Very excited to meet Paul Feig. Let's do it.
This is the off-menu menu of Paul Feig.

Speaker 1 Welcome, Paul, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here. Oh my gosh.
Welcome, Paul Fig, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

Speaker 1 Finally, Genie, I finally meet you.

Speaker 1 So it's a great pleasure. I thought that was a big explosion I did there.
I thought that was a good one. It was a good one.
You didn't expect you to see it.

Speaker 1 I was worried for a second. I'm in the genie splash zone, so I got quite a lot.
How often do you reckon I'll spit on you?

Speaker 1 Well, normally we sort of sit next to each other, adjacent, so I don't get too much spit, but occasionally a little fleck. Right.
The microphone takes a bit of a

Speaker 1 hammering. Yeah.
And Benito, who's people can't see, but he's holding the microphone in front of my face.

Speaker 1 I finally meet Benito. I'm very excited about this.
Is he how you imagined he would be?

Speaker 1 No, actually.

Speaker 1 Better, much better. How did you imagine him? I don't know why I imagine some big hulking

Speaker 1 guy. Because of the presence of the word great, I guess.
You know, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 Like, sort of like, yeah, that, you know, the classic Warner Brothers cartoon genie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Come bursting out.
So I'm happy that I'm not afraid. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just slightly intimidated.

Speaker 1 We're very excited to talk about all things food.

Speaker 1 Also, your new book, Cocktail Time, which is out, which is like, I mean, it's not just cocktail recipes, although it has loads of brilliant cocktail recipes in it, but also it's got stories and just, it says the ultimate guide to growing up fun as well, which I think sums it up nicely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 No, I like, you know, I like old-timey kind of cocktail party fun, you know, and that, that sort of, do you see those pictures from the 50s and 60s of people in small apartments in New York and tuxedos and gowns, drinking martinis?

Speaker 1 That always looked kind of cool to me.

Speaker 1 Trying to bring that back. Oh, nice.
And it was a lockdown project as well. So in lockdown, did you become that guy? Yeah.
Were you wearing those tuxes in the house?

Speaker 1 Well, I had an Instagram live show I did every day for 100 days in a row where I made cocktails and raised money for first responders and all that. And this kind of grew out of that.

Speaker 1 A lot of people said, well, write down the recipes. And then I just kept writing because it was locked down and I had nothing else to do.
Lovely. It was such a fantastic idea.
Yeah. Thanks.

Speaker 1 And I'm definitely going to use it as an excuse to just get through this and make cocktails at home. Excellent.
Alone. Good.

Speaker 1 Well, my wife doesn't really drink cocktails, but like I make martinis at home and then it just, and then you sit down with the martini.

Speaker 1 And it makes sense if you're like wearing a tuxedo and you're making a night of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But when you're just sat on the sofa with a martini in a martini glass, just in your pajamas, it's just like there's a special level of bleakness. It can tip descent

Speaker 1 slightly.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, though, one of the things I always talk about in the book is like, at least you're drinking out of a nice glass. Make it into something.

Speaker 1 Because there's no excuse for drinking booze out of plastic. I think that's the line I draw.
Yeah, I think you're just wanting to get drunk.

Speaker 1 Do you have a favorite cocktail cocktail glass at home that's like the really fun glass that you can have a nice drink out of? Yeah, I've got a couple of martini glasses I like.

Speaker 1 One that's from the Connaught Hotel that's really fancy and all that. And then there's also more kind of old-timey kind of 50s tumblers that are fun to have like a scotch out of or that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 So I sound like a huge drunk, right?

Speaker 1 So only one of the martini glasses is from that hotel. There's two.
There are two. If a guest came over

Speaker 1 and broke one of those glasses,

Speaker 1 how good do you think you could disguise your anger? I'm pretty good at that. My wife is terrible at it.

Speaker 1 She's like, if somebody spills something, she's like, oh my God, you've got to get this off the floor. I just have this clean.
It's like, let it go, let it go. It's not that bad.

Speaker 1 But I will secretly despise them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, especially if there's only two glasses from the Connault. You just have to go to the bathroom and bite your knuckle until.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 And like away two more and then I've got an odd number. Unless I then have them over again and they break another one.
So then we get back to the EVAs. That's a good martini at the Connault.

Speaker 1 That's somewhere I have been because just before we started recording, we were talking about Dukes. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Which we've spoken about before on the podcast, but we've still not had a chance to go.

Speaker 1 But the Connaught

Speaker 1 love the Connaught. Yeah, they do a lot of pageantry there.
Yeah. They pour it from on high,

Speaker 1 which is nice. Although,

Speaker 1 as a cocktail enthusiast and a martini lover, I feel like that's just making it slightly less cold.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you're a purist as well because they do all the bitters as well. You can have all the different types of bitters.
Yeah. But are you more of just a straight-up martini guy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, to me, it's all about the gin and the interaction with the vermouth.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, I like lemon twist on top because I like a bright martini versus, I think olives sort of drag it down sometimes. Oh, I mean, we should mention

Speaker 1 we are in the presence of the martini equipment here as well. You brought it with you.
So

Speaker 1 I feel like we should mention it. Would you like me to make you martini?

Speaker 1 It would be a shame not to. I just hope.
Benito, this might be just a lot of noise.

Speaker 1 This is great, though.

Speaker 1 we can use it as like get a wild track of that and use it as the stings involved with the business perfect exactly now normally i would not use my hands to put the ice in here but they are clean so just know my my my friend uh alessandro palazzi who's the um the head bartender at uh dukes

Speaker 1 i when i would do my show on instagram he would send me texts and say like stop using your hands

Speaker 1 use use a spoon so i'd i i completely trust you paul i'd say in fact and i mean this you're our cleanest looking guest we've ever had yeah really by some distance did i beat Stanley Tootch oh yeah actually the tootch look pretty good

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 the tootch the tootcha is a clean looking man also smelled wonderful sus smelled good yeah yeah he I've eaten at his house many times and uh the food is is everything you think it would be

Speaker 1 I'm sure his wife uh his wife Felicity makes the gnocchi and it's unbelievable it's it's lighter than air I mean like little pillows of delicious what do we got to do to get an invite to the Tooch got to go back to that Atlanta hotel James bumped into him in a hotel in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 Oh, recently. After we'd done the podcast.

Speaker 1 He remembered me.

Speaker 1 After being reminded.

Speaker 1 So, you know. So we've got, is that the vermouth that's just gone in? Yeah, it is the vermouth.
It's a dry vermouth. I like Dolan personally.
I have no investment in whatsoever.

Speaker 1 But I basically, it's just a few drops. So you just want just enough.
You know how like when you have a single malt scotch and you put in like a drop of water just to open it up? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's kind of what, that's how I look at the vermouth and a martini bean. Because some people use a spray, right, as well.
Have you seen that before?

Speaker 1 And they literally just spray it over or just rinse the glass with it as well. That's what they do at Duke.
That's awesome. That's where I'm going to go.
I saw that on a show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pours it in, spins it, and then throws it on the carpet. That's his significant move.
So there you go. I don't encourage that for anybody else.
Your wife immediately. No!

Speaker 1 And we just have our three. Get out.
Alessandro.

Speaker 1 And now just a ton of gin. This is my own gin, too, that I make.
And what's the name of your gin? My gin is called Artingstall's Brilliant London Dry Gin. Amazing.
And what a beautiful bottle.

Speaker 1 Thank you. What a lot of designing this.
Very nice. That's literally just selling stuff on your show for the last 10 minutes.
Listen, Dan Atcoy did that, and he's one of people's favorite etfs.

Speaker 1 I don't think Dan likes me very much.

Speaker 1 Dan and I have a little history.

Speaker 1 I love Dan. He's one of my favorites, but he kind of turned on me after Ghostbusters.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, hey, well, we'll let him know.
We'll say, Joe, what? You and Paul Fig have a lot in common.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You should pick up the phone, Dan.
But I will do a much longer interview than you.

Speaker 1 And I don't think you, I'm not sure arting stools will be in every course that you suggest. Certainly not.
Certainly not. A crystal skull after this.

Speaker 1 So I'm just I'm stirring endlessly because it needs to be very, very cold. Oh, this is very exciting.
I'm so excited. I saw someone once making, because, you know...

Speaker 1 As you say, when people are making the cocktails and they do the really high pour,

Speaker 1 it can be quite theatrical and quite fun to watch, but not as fun as when I watched someone mess it up once.

Speaker 1 And it was just absolutely, they did the really high finger, they just went all over the floor.

Speaker 1 And I thought, oh, God.

Speaker 1 His hand's completely wet because he just got his own dire hand that was holding the glass at the bottom. Paul's wife pops up from behind the bar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You took great joy in that face. I really loved it.
I was really laughing for McCosta Ruben.

Speaker 1 I would have to cut my finger off while I

Speaker 1 please. That would be fun.
You are peeling a lemon. Peeling a lemon.
There we go. And normally I will do gigantic peels, but since I'm in the

Speaker 1 service of time, I've try to make these just normal. There we go.

Speaker 1 Four martinis, one for each of us, including great bonito.

Speaker 1 The only thing wrong with this is I did not chill these glasses. Okay, normally

Speaker 1 ice cold. There's a specific amount of martinis that I think

Speaker 1 is correct for an evening. How many martinis would you have on an evening? Well, here's the big question.
It depends what size they are.

Speaker 1 There's a very evil thing going on in the world, especially in America. And I think it's here.
I've had it here too, which is like a martini should be four ounces.

Speaker 1 And they've started doing like 10-ounce martinis,

Speaker 1 which is like more than a third of a bottle of gin. So if you get one of those, and you know, you want it to be cold.

Speaker 1 So in order to keep it cold, you kind of have to slam it down pretty fast and then you're whacked out. I mean, you're gone.
So if it's a 10-ounce martini, you know, don't even finish it.

Speaker 1 But normal, like a good four-ounce martini, which is kind of what I'm pouring here, that's just, you know, friendly and gets your evening off to a good start. And you can have wine and all that.

Speaker 1 So now

Speaker 1 it's all about getting the lemon oil. Sorry, people at home, I'm squeezing a

Speaker 1 lemon twist over this and get the edges. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Call my wife.

Speaker 1 There we go. And then you got to get it on there.
I like this. Squeezing the lemon peel, rubbing it around the rim, dropping it into the cool pool.
There we go. The cool pool.
The cool pool.

Speaker 1 Holy martini. Don't normally have to negotiate a microphone while you're

Speaker 1 cheers. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 I blame the mic. There we go.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Cheers, you bet. Thank you.
Cheers to you. Cheers to you.
Cheers. Thank you.
Cheers, Benito. Cheers to Benito.
Cheers, exactly.

Speaker 1 And thank you for letting me do this on your show and having me on because I'm a massive fan. Oh, that is absolutely

Speaker 1 phenomenal. You like that? Love it.
Excellent. What a lovely gin.
Thank you. Yeah, thank you.
What a lovely gin. We've won a lot of awards and all, so I'm very, very proud of it.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 fantastic. Now Now

Speaker 1 with a cool drink in front of us, exactly.

Speaker 1 James is coming across the table and we're losing a big fight. We're a little stuck.

Speaker 1 Will we have enough to get a Shrek?

Speaker 1 Oh, we will see. We will see if Shrek comes out.
After he's got a Martini.

Speaker 1 Oh, donkey.

Speaker 1 Oh, I talked about that Martini. Here's my Shrek challenge to you, though.
Do it without saying, oh donkey for you.

Speaker 1 I see that you know that's more of them. I know exactly I either say oh donkey or my name's Shrek.
This is Shrek. Yeah.
Either one of them.

Speaker 1 It's when you can tell that someone's a good impressionist when they say the name of the person they did the impression of before they did it.

Speaker 1 God, if I'm buying space, it's made me a cocktail.

Speaker 1 It's really hard.

Speaker 1 Well, let's get into still or sparkling water. Yes, sparkling.
I love sparkling. I know it's a very controversial thing on on here, but

Speaker 1 first of all, I don't buy all this science that everybody has about how it, I don't know, it makes your teeth rot and your bones get soft and all that. Maybe it's true.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just, I love sparkling water, but I like it extra crazy sparkling.

Speaker 1 Like I have a soda stream and literally will run out a canister just making it so much, like I've had it literally put the cap on and I take it off and a cap pops off. Oh, wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 So you just like keep pumping the gas into it. Oh, yeah.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Is that something that's gradually increased over time where you were like a one pump and then it was two and now you're like yeah I just got waiting

Speaker 1 whatever that sound is it makes that kind of that farting sound that it does when it tells you you're you're ready but you have to let it go past that into like torture for it and then I love that the soda stream guys are probably listening to this going we can't recommend that that's so dangerous exactly

Speaker 1 past the fuck

Speaker 1 but it's like I just don't like an anemic kind of sparkling water you know especially when you'd make like I really like uh gin and sodas and uh I'll probably become a pariah in in in in the UK for saying saying this but I actually I would like to have people switch from gin and tonic gin and soda because tonic water is filled with sugar you know I don't want to rain anybody's parade but uh but also it just covers up the taste of the gin which you know yeah I would agree with that actually like like tonic like if you have a you know have tonic on its own it's absolutely disgusting but I don't think that's true I'm gonna I'm gonna be on the side of tonic here you're a tonic boy I love tonic I and I have Diet Schweppes tonic which is sugar-free yeah oh okay so there you go no no sugar in there But I do agree that I would never have a gin and tonic with like a really nice gin

Speaker 1 that I'm very excited about. Well, a delicate gin.
Yeah. I just don't want to like, yeah, because it does shout over the gin a bit.
But no, I love tonic. No, fam.

Speaker 1 I didn't know you were such a tonic head. I'm a tonic head.
I drink tonic and head. We had a gin and tonic the other day when we went out for a drink, the three of us.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Me and Benita won the beers, beer boys, beer twins.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 one arms around each other, beer boys,

Speaker 1 cheers in. And you were there with with a little gin and tonic in the corner.

Speaker 1 And that doesn't feel great when it's, should we go for a pint and you go into a British pub for a lovely pint and then you're the one sat in the corner drinking a gin and tonic?

Speaker 1 Very

Speaker 1 left out of it.

Speaker 1 But like with a tonic water, you wouldn't want like a sort of a half-bubbly tonic water. You'd want like a gutsy bubbles.
Yeah. It needs to make itself apparent.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So that's why, you know, there's some of these, these sparkling waters, like your boudoirs and all that, which it's just like a baby farted in it or something.

Speaker 1 There's nothing going on there.

Speaker 1 It just looks like maybe the glass was dirty, so there's a little bit of kind of bubbles on the side. The boudoir was the name of the baby.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Boudoir.

Speaker 1 Little boudoir.

Speaker 1 And it's tiny farts.

Speaker 1 I'm ready. Guff what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 I mean, is your sparkling water of choice then for this a gin and sparkling water?

Speaker 1 Well, a gin and soda water. No, because I'm going to have a drink before I have my meal.
Lovely. And that would be a martini.
So I'm not surprising anybody with that.

Speaker 1 But no, no, I like, you know, i i like good old-fashioned like new york seltzer water that's like super aggressive you know just make your tongue kind of come alive so but it's hard to get that here hard to find that here no flavor no none of the flavored ones no no flavor now i don't i mean i i do enjoy a la croix if you will sure yeah which is uh i know uh controversial for some people but always gets a shout out from american guests though

Speaker 1 and it always is followed by the phrase i know it's controversial and we and we have to sit here and act like we know what that means because do you have lacroix here no oh

Speaker 1 when we went to we went to la and new york to record some episodes of this and we got into lacroix yeah i think because someone maybe mentioned it yeah early episodes the bonito went out and bought a load and we just had him in the airbnb oh so we were necking them pretty solidly yeah when we were over there but i still didn't see the controversy i was like this is pretty nice i think it's just looked at as being kind of douchey you know so uh yeah so there's that but um i know some somebody i know actually says it tastes like a drawing of an apple

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just the merest hint of fruit isn't it? Yeah, it's like Boudoir ate a raspberry and then

Speaker 1 pop it up saltbread pop it up saltbread poor fig pop it up saltbread. I'm ready.
I'm ready for this. Well here okay, so he I would like to change it up a little bit if I could

Speaker 1 I would very much like chips and salsa and when I say chips and salsa not not British chips obviously but like tortilla chips like in a Mexican restaurant. Yeah, that's my favorite way to start.

Speaker 1 I love it. Desway Birch definitely chose this.
I don't know if anyone else has. No, it's been a long time since someone went with this, and I think it's such a good choice.

Speaker 1 I love it when people hack this part of their meal and don't just go with the two options and actually get something that would normally sit here.

Speaker 1 It feels like a proper celebration of the course. There you go.
I didn't want to be controversial. Yeah.
Yeah, once again, I'm trying to stay away from controversy.

Speaker 1 Desperate to not be cancelled on this podcast.

Speaker 1 The one I was looking forward to the most is the one that took me down.

Speaker 1 It's such a good choice because I love bread.

Speaker 1 i wouldn't have bread before a meal anytime but it can fill you up so much whereas when it's chips and salsa it really gets you excited and ready for the meal it's like that little tingle well it blasts your your taste buds yeah in a great way but but here's i mean i i love mexican food and you'll find that out as i go through my menu um but depending on what mexican restaurant you go to there's a gazillion different types of salsa and some are really terrible and some are fantastic but but there's so many just kind of like limp ones yeah and i i don't understand them some and there's some that are crazy.

Speaker 1 There's some one place in Pasadena, California, where I, it's literally just take those chili flakes and they put oil in it and that's it. And it's like, it's kind of madness.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're just, your tongue's on fire, but not in a fun way.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you have a particular salsa that you love that you, you would want with this course in your life? Yeah. There's a place called Gardens of Taxco in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 And they only, they, they were this great restaurant that they were there forever. And they had, their big thing was they had no written menus.

Speaker 1 The guy would come over and would recite this menu to you, but it had jokes in it. And like one of the jokes was always, it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce.
And so you would like,

Speaker 1 you know, stretch out balls.

Speaker 1 Did you go there enough that you knew the script? Could you like mouth along to what he was saying? Well, it's that thing, you know, when there's something you love and you just know it so well.

Speaker 1 So you take people there and it's always like, here comes those two jokes. And we just like wait for those two jokes, which, you know, after a while is just kind of pathetic.

Speaker 1 So it's not that

Speaker 1 no it's like when i went to disney world and i went to go on the uh jungle cruise and you know that the backside of water joke is coming and i was really excited about that and but i'd never heard it before in person i've just seen it on a bunch of stuff and when they said backside of water i started an applause on my own i was like and one person joined in and we made eye contact and we're like yeah we know super fans we know we know that i think that's a great running joke so i'll get how you feel at this restaurant i'll be quite excited saying it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce is a weird weird joke, yeah,

Speaker 1 I know, and kind of unsettling too. That was always if we deconstructed it.

Speaker 1 I didn't, I didn't even think about it for a second. I'm like, that's what does he mean? Something I would eat anything that tastes like it was born in the thing I'm gonna eat.

Speaker 1 Weird home birth going on about a pat and pool full of the sauce.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 We're gonna eat it immediately. Take it like a pool figure.
He's gonna eat it. That's right.
I'll do it.

Speaker 1 Does it mean it's just been marinated for a long time? Maybe. Yeah, I guess it's just it feels like it.
Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 part of the sauce.

Speaker 1 Like, how could it be better than the sauce? And the other joke was it's spicy, not hot, spicy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 It is the delivery.

Speaker 1 Could see the audience would, yeah, if he was a stand-up. Oh, yeah.
And you would join in with that.

Speaker 1 And you could tell all the regulars would bring somebody new and they're all like watching him with anticipation, watching the person. Like, are they going to laugh?

Speaker 1 But I tell you, oh my God, my mom, right?

Speaker 1 I took my mom there once, like, in the last year of her life. And, you know, she was always kind of put upon by my grandmother, who who was very overbearing, and so she was always very meek.

Speaker 1 And when my grandmother died, my mom kind of found herself, uh,

Speaker 1 but overly found herself. Like, you know, she'd be telling a story, and somebody would like to interject with a joke, and she's like, Excuse me, I'm talking.

Speaker 1 Mom, you can't now just take over. I know you're trying to right the wrongs of your whole life.
But so I take her there, you know, I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 And the guy's doing the menu, and right in the middle of it, she goes, Is he ever gonna stop talking?

Speaker 1 It's like, oh my god, my favorite place

Speaker 1 They'll never go back.

Speaker 1 So the chips. Yeah.
Do they make the chips in-house or are they bought? Because that's really exciting when you go to Mexican restaurants, especially right around.

Speaker 1 I haven't been to Mexico, want to, but especially around LA where I've been there and there's like the Mexican restaurants there. The chips are incredible.
Yeah, you never quite know.

Speaker 1 You know, there's some places that make them, but I've been to places where they make them with flour tortillas and those are kind of funky because they get kind of like, you know, bubbly and then they keep the grease on them and stuff.

Speaker 1 So that's not as much fun. I like just a good corn chip.
And if it's made in-house, that's great. But

Speaker 1 I tend to not ask. I don't want to know.
And why salsa over, for me, I'm a guac guy. Oh, yeah.
I'm a guacaholic? Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're a guac head. I'm a guac head.
There you go.

Speaker 1 You're guacky. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And with salsa, salsa, sour cream, guac, where are you ranking them?

Speaker 1 I love guac. So not sour cream guy, not a sour cream guy.

Speaker 1 but but what i like to do is get a big you know especially when they make it table side that's the best when they'll make the fresh guacamole but then you get dip some guacamole and then put it into the salsa try not to get the guacamole in the salsa because that's always disgusting people do that and then so then you got the the the double thing and that's the best that is the greatest yeah so are you getting them on the corners then is that how you're dipping them no i do the i do the flat you know it's the triangle so you use the point and then you use the big scoop at the back because i like a lot of salsa i will run through bowls and bowls of salsa great yeah And how spicy are we talking on the salsa?

Speaker 1 Pretty spicy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want a pretty hot. But it, it's like,

Speaker 1 have you ever gotten burned at like a, uh, an Indian restaurant? That's most places I go to, I'll go like, look, go careful, sir, it's really hot. Okay.
And it's not hot at all. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you say that in an Indian restaurant and you get fucked really badly. I mean, once I go like, I want it hot.
He goes, like, hot? I said, yeah, really hot. Okay.

Speaker 1 And the first bite and you're like, oh my God, what am I going to do? I'm going to die.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because he's gone back to the kitchen and gone, let's fuck this white guy over oh totally and he's standing there cross-armed in the doorlight and here he comes so I'm just eating like

Speaker 1 I went to a taco place in LA and they refused to give me one of the tacos because it was too spicy

Speaker 1 I really may have been to the same place

Speaker 1 I've been twice and they both times refused to refuse to give one just because of the look of you yeah I think so really just they have one that's like you can get five different levels of spice and I think I asked for a three and they were like no no no

Speaker 1 and I went no I really like spicy food they were like no you can't have that one did you have to work your way up to it yeah

Speaker 1 i think i'm gonna have to keep going back there and start with a one and build my way up well did you have a two though so was that i think i ended up expecting something different because i panicked but um it's a fantastic place oh delicious oh but like i think the only place where i've because in indian restaurants normally i i don't i don't say to them like i want it hot but they'll sometimes say what you've just ordered is a bit hot but i'll go for it and i'm usually fine the only place where that's not worked out for me was also in la in at jitlada oh And they said, like, honestly, Matt, like, because I was quite excited about going there.

Speaker 1 I'd never been before. So I googled online the best dishes there.
They said, these three. I was like, I'm just ordering those three.
I'm doing it.

Speaker 1 And they went, what you have just ordered, like, don't have that. I was like, I'm fine.
Honestly. I know, I thought I was going to die.
Yeah. Thai

Speaker 1 spice.

Speaker 1 It's way more ferocious than Indian spice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, personally. I don't know.
I don't know if it's because we're more used to like Indian food.

Speaker 1 Maybe, but like some of that Thai stuff is like absolute fire. Well, it's just absolute pain.
You can't feel your tongue. Yeah.
And then it's just like there's a knife in your mouth.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what's so amazing about it there was that it was still delicious. Like the flavor was still amazing.
Yeah. While it was absolutely kicking the shit out of me.

Speaker 1 So I kept on putting it in my mouth. Yeah.
And that's a good balance, though. Sometimes it's just an assault and it doesn't taste like anything other than death.
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Then you're never going back. But

Speaker 1 I mean, I really want to go back there now. Now I've just started talking about it.

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Speaker 1 Your dream starter. Yes.
Well, it's tough. I mean, you know, as any foodie will say, it's a tough question because there's so many things we like.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I've got ones that I love.

Speaker 1 I even wrote them down just because I don't want to forget.

Speaker 1 I like frogs' legs are really great. It's probably impolitic to say something like that.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, that's that's interesting. We haven't had anyone choose frogs' legs.
I don't know we have, no. Yeah, but like from a place called Chalemy Louis in Paris.

Speaker 1 And they make them Provençal style. And so, and they're actually fairly graphic, too.
Because normally you get them, like in New York, there's a place called La Granduis

Speaker 1 that I go to. And it's just like the legs.
It looks like a little mini chicken leg, but these are literally like they're cut off at the waist. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So, you know, you really are connecting with the animal at that moment.
French people really don't give a shit, do they? That's great. No, they just lop it off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Down you go.

Speaker 1 You've got to get the dick in there as well.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Excuse me, my frog doesn't have a dick. That's right.
That's the best part. It's always the most disgusting part.
It's the best part. Everybody always tells you.

Speaker 1 Bro, the flavor is. Yeah.
Exactly. But then on that.

Speaker 1 And then Escargo, I love, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I go in like of a French thing. But I, you know, it's funny when you're trying to put together your dream menu at the dream restaurant, you want to go high or low.

Speaker 1 And it's very tempting to want to go high. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, just to be, it's like when somebody asks you what your favorite movie is as a filmmaker, I always have to like try to pull out some heady kind of reference.

Speaker 1 I just want to go like Napoleon Dynamite, you know, or my money pod on holy grail. So I feel that.
But I'm fighting the pressure of that here. But

Speaker 1 keeping in the Mexican world at the Polo Lounge in L.A.,

Speaker 1 they have this tortilla soup, which is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 So that could be it. And then

Speaker 1 at the polo bar in New York, they have a corned beef sandwich as a starter. Oh, and I think they call it salt beef here, right? Is salt beef the same as corned beef?

Speaker 1 No, so yeah, salt beef. I think we're called salt beef here.

Speaker 1 Because a corned beef here is different because it's like when I first had corned beef in the US, I was like, oh, this is not, this is not the same. This is more shredded kind of like corn U.S.
bus.

Speaker 1 Whereas here, it's like... Corned beef is something you get in a 10.
It's like a wartime thing. Oh,

Speaker 1 it's like spam. It's like spam adjacent.
There's like jelly and like it. I mean, look, I love corned beef.
Oh, man. The corned beef beef sandwiches when I was a kid for lunch,

Speaker 1 I would hit the jackpot

Speaker 1 if that was my lunch in my lunchbox. I was so delighted that I had a corned beef sandwich.
That was what I was crossing my fingers for. But very, very different to U.S.
corned beef, I think.

Speaker 1 Did you put mustard on it? You can do. You can.
Yeah, yeah. As a kid, I didn't.
As a kid, I was just, I think I was just margarine and corned beef and absolutely having the time of my life.

Speaker 1 But now

Speaker 1 I would want some salad in there, some mustard. Yeah, I'd be like, I'd want it to be more.
Yeah, because like, you know, like the American corned beef and pastrami, I mean, it's all brisket-based.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so, which is so good. But, I mean, pastrami is my personal favorite because that's even leaner.
But yeah, they make that make a sandwich there. It's kind of like,

Speaker 1 you know, toasted, not even toasted. It's like not fried, but you know, pan kind of seared.
And then they cut it up in these little pieces and have this beautiful deli mustard that's hot.

Speaker 1 So that's good. So I could get that.
But then, I don't know, shrimp cocktail. Let's talk about shrimp cocktails.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 they're so different here and in the States. Okay.
The reputation of them here is like, it's very 70s. Like it was a 70s dinner party thing.

Speaker 1 But also are like prawns are like so tiny here if you'd buy them from anywhere other than like an amazing fishmonger's or you live on the coast. So

Speaker 1 I just think it's difficult to find a good one. They're out there.
You don't know what you're getting.

Speaker 1 We've had a lot of people, a lot of British people on the podcast choose a prawn cocktail as their dream.

Speaker 1 And, you know, when they're asked about it, they always specify massive prawns that are like hanging on the side of the glass or something like that. So that's what they want.

Speaker 1 But more often than not, if you go and get it in a restaurant, you've got the little tiddlers, there's hardly any in there

Speaker 1 on the piece of lettuce, yeah, and then just like very boring lettuce.

Speaker 1 But in the States, is it shrimp and then a cocktail sauce? It's not a cocktail sauce. That's the difference.
Yeah, is here, and my wife always orders a cocktail shrimp cocktail in England.

Speaker 1 I'm always like, you're not going to be happy because she always thinks it's going to be cocktail sauce. And it's not.
It's that, what is it more? It's

Speaker 1 yeah which is more pink it's almost kind of like uh it's almost like a thousand island yeah it's similar yeah it's just ketchup and mayonnaise yeah it's

Speaker 1 because American cocktail sauce is basically ketchup and horseradish yeah so it's really you know strong and there's some places there's a place in

Speaker 1 St.

Speaker 1 Elbow's fire actually in Indianapolis that was famous for this cocktail sauce that they put so much horseradish in that you could like if you breathe out of your nose as you ate it you would die but you had to learn how to do it yes please and that is the secret i love that as a fact if you breathe out your nose you will die it's happened before but we're still open somehow if you have that with like hot wasabi or whatever like yeah you're fine breathing in but if you breathe out your nose it's just like ah you can get your head explodes so that's what i missed man about tao tao ju man yeah it's what i missed that that that that that wasabi sauce with the prawns it used to burn right through all of my sinuses and it was great now they've softened it using it as medicine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But I know exactly what you mean and it's a good feeling.
Yeah. I like it.
There you go. Are you leaning towards anyone in particular? Yeah, I'm actually leaning towards out of the blue.

Speaker 1 And this is a dark horse because I just discovered it two months ago. I had my 60th birthday.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Today was the first day I used my 60 and over free subway card and it was so depressing.

Speaker 1 Literally, it's the old man card. You like push it and it just says enter.
It doesn't even say anything on it. It's just like, come in.

Speaker 1 You're closer to death on the train. Come in, welcome.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Why'd you never say exit? Yeah, I mean, that's another customer one picture from the Grib Reaper. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, so we were in Capri, Italy, and on the last day, went to this restaurant that we had never been to before called La Capanina. And they had an eggplant parm that was unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Because I enjoy eggplant parm, but this was like they had cut the eggplant into these ribbons, like these, I mean, micro-rimbids.

Speaker 1 So the whole thing was so light and just came this little kind of, you know, ramekin kind of thing. And it was spectacular.
So that's that's my starter. Yeah, I mean, that's such a great choice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm a big, big fan of, I mean, we say aubergine here. Sure.
Yeah, exactly. Something, sorry.
I like eggplant as a word as well. I like that it's two different things.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They could not be more different, though. Yeah, yeah.
How those words got so far. Yeah, it's not like aluminium, aluminum.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was at a party last night, somebody asked me about metals, and I said aluminium just because I didn't want to get shamed for pronouncing it the American way. How'd it go? It went well.

Speaker 1 And actually, they kind of didn't take a beat to kind of question me. And I was like, wait, I did it.
I passed.

Speaker 1 I live here.

Speaker 1 Shout across the room to your wife. Honey, I tricked up feeling like

Speaker 1 her name's Laurie, though. And that's a truck, so you never know.

Speaker 1 Everyone dumps the cover if you shout Laurie.

Speaker 1 Well, this sounds great.

Speaker 1 Also, I think on this pod, the more that people, if people mention something that doesn't get mentioned a lot or that can get overlooked, I think this version of it must be really, really good.

Speaker 1 So it makes me want to try it because I'm like, if someone's chosen that, it must be because that particular version was like, there's so much.

Speaker 1 It was transformative because, you know,

Speaker 1 I'm a big foodie and I've spent most of my life traveling around the world. And, you know, I spent, probably spent most of the money I've earned on meals.

Speaker 1 I love fancy meals and all that stuff and this was just mind-bending because I've had eggplant or aubergine parm before and sometimes it's just like they'll just cut a you know cut one in half and put the stuff on top of it that's kind of good but it's kind of you know like a steak but this was just like you need the layers right you need you need it to be layered up yeah

Speaker 1 it was almost kind of it was almost like the eggplant version of uh you know lasagna right so in between each layer they're putting like cheese and

Speaker 1 yeah mostly tomatoes some cheese in there and some olives and stuff but it was all done so light and it just was like kind of fluffed up almost if you will that sounds great yeah it was pretty great love it and a ramekin as well so it's like so starter size yeah the big

Speaker 1 cast iron kind of ramekin that comes in but it wasn't hot you know i mean you know you could touch it so if there's some chips left over from when they were brought are you are you are you gonna be dipping a chip in there definitely oh definitely i'm gonna

Speaker 1 scoop out some

Speaker 1 and i'll get some bread too i you know there's a good pocaccio around or something i'm sure we got some kicking about we can bring somewhere in the back But Stanley was right.

Speaker 1 You know, Stanley Tuccio was talking about how the bread in Italy is not particularly great. And it's kind of true.
I think they save it all up for the pasta and all that.

Speaker 1 But it's good for scraping stuff up. Yeah.
But what's this restaurant called again? It's called La Capanina.

Speaker 1 Is there some other highlights from that place that you want to shout out before we move on?

Speaker 1 I mean, everything was really good. That one just blew everything out of my brain so much that I couldn't.
It's tough, isn't it? If the starter is so good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the rest of the meal, you're like, oh, I can't quite. Well, although that's how you know it's good.
Yeah. Because Ed does judging on Great British Menu, the TV show.

Speaker 1 And I've been lucky enough because of that to go to the banquet a couple of times because I got a hookup. And you've got to judge it by the end and say, like, what course was the best? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you always think, well, that's unfair because... I'm just going to write dessert because it was the last thing I had.
No, that's what you do because you're you. Now, sure.

Speaker 1 Two years in a row I voted for the dessert.

Speaker 1 But that first year, that that starter was so good that it was between those two.

Speaker 1 And I remember thinking, that starter must have been amazing that I'm still thinking about it at the end of the menu.

Speaker 1 I find that to be the case with a lot of Italian cooking for some reason, because your mane is more like a fish or something. So it's kind of hard to make that really.

Speaker 1 exciting once you've got this really cool either a pasta starter or you know parm or whatever you know that kind of thing so like oh there's another place in capri that i love um called liquartelli which is you walk all the way over the island and it's up like in a sea cave it's gorgeous.

Speaker 1 But they have mama's stuffed pepper and she makes this stuff.

Speaker 1 Mama cooks in the back. That's it's family run.

Speaker 1 And it's so spectacular that kind of everything else, they bring all this fresh fish and it's nice, but it just, you know, you can't beat that first starter.

Speaker 1 Mama absolutely wiping the floor with everyone. No,

Speaker 1 just going

Speaker 1 to get it.

Speaker 1 And screaming, yelling fights in the back.

Speaker 1 We've heard some knockdown dragon fights back there. I don't know what they're saying, but really ugly.

Speaker 1 A good stuffed pepper, man. Oh, yeah.
Like, that's incredible. Yeah.
With that kind of mystery stuffing, you know, you don't know what's in there, but it's all good. And you don't

Speaker 1 want to know what's going on.

Speaker 1 Don't tell me what's in them. Put some bread, crumbs, and cheese on top.
Disguise it. There you go.

Speaker 1 I just know how some of those fights end.

Speaker 1 That's who's in the stuffing.

Speaker 1 Dream main course. I know, Dream Main Course.
It's, again, it's hard.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 I'm loving the honorable muncheons, the amount of honorable munches to the starter. Well, I always find when I listen to your show, I love it so much, but I'm always kind of curious.

Speaker 1 Like some people will kind of say things that they're debating on, and I find that really fun. Yeah, I just love hearing about food.
So

Speaker 1 it's always the best. But I mean, for me, well, I mean,

Speaker 1 again,

Speaker 1 I'm going to start.

Speaker 1 I love steak.

Speaker 1 You know, I like just a good kind of like a filet mignon or something, or at the polo bar in New York, they have the polo burger, which is just this amazing hamburger that's big and thick, and it comes with french fries and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 So, that you know, that kind of stuff, that's sort of my most fun meal to have. Or like spaghetti alla vangolo when you're in uh oh, yeah, in Italy, oh, with the great clams, and oh, it's just so,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Your memory for the show is incredible. Well, that's because I didn't, I didn't know what it was when he said it, and then I got dressed in doubt.
So, I can't remember.

Speaker 1 I was glad I could see it on this one.

Speaker 1 I like how labor-intensive it is because it shows up and it's like,

Speaker 1 you enjoy those, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to get all the shells out first, right? Okay, yeah. Sometimes I'm always tempted, like, well, maybe I can kind of eat around the shells.

Speaker 1 I find it a bit annoying, but then once you've done it, it is worth it. You feel like you've earned.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.
You've done a little workout for me.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you're not thinking, couldn't they have done this in the kitchen?

Speaker 1 Couldn't they have got deshelled all these clams in the kitchen? So they're not going to eat them.

Speaker 1 Why are the clams? Is it to show you how fresh they are?

Speaker 1 Especially when the clam shells are extremely hot yeah yeah and then there's always a bit of pain but i guess they've got to cook it all together right sure because they're cooking the the clams in there and that's how they they steam in the shells and they open up because you can't take the clams out and then cook them in right because then they're going to overcoat maybe there should be a bit of theater with the uh what waiter coming out and being like

Speaker 1 bring the dish out and then in front of you with some like cool techniques with cutlery yeah you know de-shell all of them and flipping the shells so flipping the shells left right and sending you into like bins behind them yeah and stuff and be like there you go it's all done for you not a bad idea i like it i think it's good that's what the aubergine thing reminded me of is when the three of us went to new york and they bought out my aubergine and the guy just completely

Speaker 1 you know just just can't

Speaker 1 feel like with a fish thing yeah like should be it was like no it was grilled wasn't it and it was a grilled aubergine and that was pretty much all it was in the italian restaurant with uh like olive oil on it and he he just got crisscrossed it and then shredded it all up so it was all delicious nice which meant that i then copied it at home so maybe that's why they don't do that in front of you with the clams.

Speaker 1 They don't want you stealing their bread. Because now I just do it at home.

Speaker 1 I don't finish that restaurant ever again. He's going to learn we don't need him.
He doesn't need us. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, you shouldn't be trying the clam thing at home.

Speaker 1 I could be the one who invents that. Well, have you been to Mr.
Chow's? They do that. It's a Chinese restaurant.
There's one here, I know, but there's one in Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 And they come out, the noodle chef comes out and does it in front of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've seen that done before it's very good

Speaker 1 yeah it just it's amazing it's like magic they just keep pulling it and it gets thinner and thinner and more and more it's incredible to watch that yeah don't try that at home joe it would not go well we're going to talk about benny hana before moving on or is that crass oh camera

Speaker 1 but when it comes to the uh theater of food i enjoy a benny hana visit yeah yeah i i i you know it's fun I think all of my knowledge of Benny Hanna has come from watching American sitcoms where there will be an episode where they go to a Beni Hana

Speaker 1 in the American office of course.

Speaker 1 My dad took it.

Speaker 1 I made my parents take me to one once when we were in Chicago because I desperately wanted it. I was like nine or ten.
My dad's like, oh,

Speaker 1 he didn't like anything like that. So he's like, ah, this is going to be a disaster.
For some reason, he was counting on being a disaster. So there he is sitting there.
Guy's doing the thing.

Speaker 1 You know, he does this one moment where they'll cut up the shrimp and he'll pop it onto your plate from far away. Yeah.
Pops on all the plates. goes right onto my dad's tie.

Speaker 1 Of course. Brand new tie, big thing.
He's like, God damn it.

Speaker 1 The one guy.

Speaker 1 It happens because sometimes I'm that guy. I can be grumpy.
And my dad's the same. And I think you attract the bad thing happening to you.
I don't agree.

Speaker 1 Because it's just when everyone's on edge because there's one sort of bad energy in the room. Yeah.
And then it always happens to that guy. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 And then it just tips over and the whole night's ruined. Yeah.
Well, that's like when you take somebody to your favorite restaurant. Like,

Speaker 1 you know, when my wife and I first started dating, I had all these restaurants I really liked, like Chinese restaurants and stuff.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, I don't like the look of them or they seem gross or whatever, just because, you know, they didn't, they weren't the highest end places. I'm like, no, that's great.
It's great.

Speaker 1 Every single time, there'd be a hare in her food. She'd see a cockroach on the ground.

Speaker 1 I've never seen it any other time. Why is that happening with you? I would love it if I went to a Benny Hanum affed and he got a shrimp, flung at his tie.

Speaker 1 I would be the best thing ever.

Speaker 1 Whether you got grumpy about it or not. Yeah, I would.
I would be very excited in the moment when it happened.

Speaker 1 I'd say, I'm never wearing a tie again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've never worn a tie out to dinner before. And the first time I do it, the shrimp hits it all the way home.
I've never wearing a tie again.

Speaker 1 But James, you'd buy him a tie with a big target on the front. I might do it.
Yeah, yeah. I might do it with a shrimp just.

Speaker 1 Can you do it?

Speaker 1 But so those are all what I thought about getting.

Speaker 1 But what I would get is from the infamous Gardens of Tasco with the menu that they say and the two jokes, they make a garlic shrimp that is unbelievable. And it's not what it sounds like.

Speaker 1 It's kind of the curled up shrimp, you know, just cooked in this very kind of thick garlic sauce that's tomato-based. And, and, um, and it's just so amazingly good.

Speaker 1 And I, oh, I just eat a mountain of it.

Speaker 1 How much shrimp is in there? Because that's what I always want to know before I order. Yeah, I'm with you.
You always get ripped off on shrimp. Yeah.
Always.

Speaker 1 They're pretty good here. You actually, in one order, you'll probably get, I mean, I would dare say 10 or 15 shrimp.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because that's the worst when you get like a shrimp curry and they're like, oh, oh, there's three and they're not big.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like that thing of you never go in to a restaurant and order fish on a Monday, right? Is it a Monday?

Speaker 1 Or get the special fish dish on a Monday because it's them just trying to get all of the fish out that they've had over the weekend before the new delivery comes in. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if you can do that online,

Speaker 1 you love your Monday shrimp.

Speaker 1 These are Monday fish.

Speaker 1 What's the rule with oysters and red tide? I never can figure that out in the R.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's something with oysters. There's red tide, which I guess means if you eat them, you'll die or something.

Speaker 1 But they also say don't get oysters in months with an R. I don't know what the rule is.
There just seems to be some rule. That feels too neat a phrase.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It feels like that matches up too perfectly. Well, yeah, I mean, it's like what's that still being just going like, there's an R.

Speaker 1 The oysters aren't going, well, I better go bad. It's January now.
I don't know what the rule is. I just know that there's something they say.
I'm trying not to listen because I love oysters.

Speaker 1 I just want to have them whenever I have them. I would have them whenever.
I'm going to be in my head now. yeah

Speaker 1 if i if i get one any other mump than that i'm gonna be like red tie

Speaker 1 red tie to people

Speaker 1 this is my issue with oysters whenever i order a thing of oysters with somebody that person will pick up the fucking lemon and immediately put it on the thing and it drives me crazy sure sure because i don't necessarily want it on you don't need it to be mother with the with that they're like shall i be mother they pick up the lemon put it all over yeah it's like who who said that we all want i don't know i mean you might like lemon

Speaker 1 i like lemon yeah but i

Speaker 1 if I'm sharing a dish, whatever it is, whether it's oysters or whatever, it comes with a wedge of lemon. I'll always pick up the lemon wedge and I say, shall I lemon? That's good.
Shall I lemon?

Speaker 1 You've always got to check and say, shall I lemon. You have to ask.
Yeah, you have to ask. Otherwise, I'm happy to individually lemon my pieces.
Right, there you go.

Speaker 1 But that's how a civilized person is. Yeah, but there's just something where people just like, they just commandeer it and off you go.

Speaker 1 But what does make sense to me is lemon is kind of a, it's like a, you know, a salt substitute, basically.

Speaker 1 And so you're just salting something that's already salty so why i don't know also with oysters it's like it's a very particular thing for yourself it's like what you're gonna put on it and then and then eat it you want to do that the ceremony of it is really nice yeah i don't want anyone else putting anything on my oyster yeah i want to be able to get each one decide i i want lemon personally shallots and some um some hot sauce tabasco oh yeah yeah yeah and i'm happy that's why all i do is tabasco that's it that's it yep

Speaker 1 i need an oyster now

Speaker 1 we've got martinis.

Speaker 1 How are you going to bring any oysters with me? What's your oyster? Oyster combo?

Speaker 1 Depends, you know.

Speaker 1 That's the joy of it. They all come in their own little plates, don't they? So you can mix it up.
Who mixes it up in there? Sometimes just Tabasco. Mignonette.

Speaker 1 Sometimes if I'm in America and they've got the cocktail sauce. Yeah.
Put that on as well. That's great.
Yeah. But sometimes just a straight oyster, guys.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 If it's a really good region, there's one called

Speaker 1 Beaux Soleil that I love in the Eastern System. It's like a TV series here.
It wasn't?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he wore masks of funny celebrities and then he said like if they've got different catchphrases for like each celebrity yeah really

Speaker 1 yeah it's kind of it's not aged well

Speaker 1 but like that's what he used to do yeah basically

Speaker 1 now what about raw clams uh i don't think i've already had raw clams you know that's i've had raw razor clam before oh lovely razor clam oh and cooked razor clams forget it oh with the garlic and all that so good those are transcendent but no like a good clam like a little neck clam um like at the oyster bar in in grand celtra station in New York, they're great because they're small.

Speaker 1 And what you do is you get those, and then you get the cocktail sauce, the really hot, and you just really soak them in that. I love the good stuff, couldn't be love it.

Speaker 1 I really want to try this cocktail sauce now that I didn't know existed because I just assumed shrimp cocktail was the same as prawn cocktail over here.

Speaker 1 I now discovered there's this horseradish cocktail that if you can make it just break through your nose, you die.

Speaker 1 So, we move on to your dream dream side dish? Yes.

Speaker 1 I struggle with side dishes sometimes because they're never usually that exciting. You know, they're usually more like, it more alleviates the guilt of the main.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Like if you get a steak, it's like, okay, I should get some brothers. Or something,

Speaker 1 some kind of green thing. But my favorite side is Redatouille.

Speaker 1 We've actually, has anyone actually chosen Redatatoui properly? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I got a first time. A lot of references.
There's been a little chatatouie.

Speaker 1 a lot of chattatouille not enough ratatouille i was worried it might be the secret ingredient no

Speaker 1 the minute you one week you did uh portobellos and i was like oh no like i'm anything could happen on this episode yeah yeah yeah i could stumble into something

Speaker 1 really terrible

Speaker 1 i mean so the ratatouille i i would say Because we've talked about the film a lot on the podcast. And I do think the ratatouille in ratatouille looks better than any ratatouille I've ever had.
Ah.

Speaker 1 I love the the way it looks, the colours. Because of the slight, thin slices in the way it's all lined up.
And it's made by a rat. And it's made by a rat.
And it's made by a rat.

Speaker 1 Well, the one I love is from a place called Coco. Cocoat, which is, there's one by us in Chelsea, but I think there's another one in Notting Hill.

Speaker 1 It's the roast chicken place. We were talking about this.
We were literally talking about it on an earlier episode. We're kidding.
We've recorded three episodes today.

Speaker 1 The first episode, I was talking about how I love the salads there. Yeah.
Oh, my God. And the chicken.
I had it for lunch there. I haven't had the chicken yet.

Speaker 1 I've had the chicken soup, which i think is delicious so i used to live near one so i could get it delivered yeah but now i live too far away

Speaker 1 gutted absolutely gutted it's too much it's fantastic yeah and i didn't know they did a ratatouille though their ratatouille is spectacular absolutely spectacular maybe that's what i'm getting tonight now because like yeah i don't know i can get that at my house and the other thing they have which is a great side dish too which is my secondary one is their chips are fantastic they do these uh you know they're made with the like they put herbs on top of them and they do truffle ones too i i don't like truffle fries it's too much yeah it gets a lot, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because it's never real truffles.
Yeah, it feels like. Is that truffle oil? First time you had them, were they exciting? Truffle fries? Truffle fries?

Speaker 1 They were titillating because it didn't seem like you should be having them. So it felt very...

Speaker 1 But it quickly, when it's that truffle oil, it's just too, it's like truffle concentrate, which can be a little bit nutch.

Speaker 1 That's when I felt like Ed and I knew that we were properly just like spoilt little boys now. It's when we were saying, like, for secret ingredient, put truffle oil on there.

Speaker 1 It's not nice. It's nice for like the first few times you had it.
It's a real truffle. But they've overdone it now and we don't like truffle oil.
Oh, awful. What a couple of awful guys.

Speaker 1 Well, I've not had the fries from there either. Sorry, I'll get the fries and the rest of them.
Do they still do the roasted potatoes as well?

Speaker 1 They're fantastic. Those are really great.
Oh, what a place. I miss that place.
That's all good. I'm telling you.
You come around to mine on Saturday? Let's have it for lunch.

Speaker 1 And they weirdly travel well, too.

Speaker 1 Those fries, you know, chips really travel well.

Speaker 1 It's only two blocks from our house, but still,

Speaker 1 sometimes, you know, a chip, the minute it leaves the store, it just all falls apart. Yeah.
Nothing worse than the soggy chips.

Speaker 1 We order from a place now and again where when you order on the website, it says, oh, when you get the fries, put the oven on when you order.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then put them onto a baking tray to warm them up and like freshen them up when they arrive. It's like, well, if I wanted to do that, I would have cooked something.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 It's a takeaway. Your raw chicken arrives? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Marinate that.

Speaker 1 Brine it for two days. Yeah.
Enjoy your takeaway. Unbelievable.
So the matatouille at

Speaker 1 Coco, yeah. Yeah.
So what's like going on there with the, with it makes it better than ever anyway?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, they have all the vegetables and the peppers and all that, and zucchini, I guess, and all. But it's the sauce that it's in.

Speaker 1 It's got almost like a, again, I just love tomato, anything with like a tomato sauce, but tomato sauce sounds too reductive. It almost sounds like it's marinara or something.

Speaker 1 It's very flavorful, extra flavorful, almost kind of like a brownish, you know, tomatoy look. And it just kind of comes together great.
And it's kind of perfectly shaped.

Speaker 1 They do it more in chunks as opposed to the Rattatouille movie slices.

Speaker 1 And it's just tender and, you know, it always arrives really hot. And it's just, I don't know, and it's got a bit of spice to it too.
So it's not dull.

Speaker 1 I think it's a great choice as well, because you said that side dishes are to alleviate guilt.

Speaker 1 But you've so you've got something with vegetables in it, so you've got that element to it, but also it's rich and it's delicious and it feels like a treat as well. Exactly.

Speaker 1 So it doesn't feel like homework. No.

Speaker 1 Does it take you back to your childhood like Anton Ego in the film?

Speaker 1 No. No, my mom, bless her heart, was a terrible cook.

Speaker 1 And surpassed only by my grandmother, who was the worst cook in the world, but who was presented to me as the world's best cook. Oh, wow.
So I'm talking about mind fuck.

Speaker 1 I thought I didn't like food for the first 12 years of my life. Because

Speaker 1 your grandmother's chicken soup is the greatest. It tastes like nothing.
It literally, because she didn't use salt or anything. So it just was like this sludge.
but they would all wax poetic about it.

Speaker 1 Then my mom was Canadian and so she would make like beef stews and stuff, which were okay, but they just didn't have any flavor. Like nobody knew about spices where I was from in Michigan at the time.

Speaker 1 So why was everyone bigging up your grandma's cooking?

Speaker 1 Did it keep her happy or did they genuinely think it was good? He thought it was great. But he had a very, you know,

Speaker 1 that palate. You know, my grandmother was Jewish and my dad, you know, and all that.
So it's that cooking where they don't want any sodium so nobody will, you know, die of a heart attack.

Speaker 1 So So everything's just taken down so many levels. And then, you know, and she would boil chickens, like boiled chickens.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, unless it's in a soup, a good soup, because my wife makes an amazing chicken soup. I can tell you her secret ingredient, too.
Oh, yeah. Ketchup.
Ketchup. Which sounds crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put ketchup in the soup. And it just, it gives it enough kind of sweet and savory.
Oh, nice. And it brings it to life.
And if only my grandmother had a bottle of ketchup in the house.

Speaker 1 I can see why your dad was so shocked when someone threw a shrimp at his tie now.

Speaker 1 growing up having a bland chicken soup

Speaker 1 seasoning on it

Speaker 1 your grandmother hit me with a boiled chicken

Speaker 1 well i mean yeah i like the thought of you having a mouthful of the ratatouille and going back backwards like anton ego did but just ended up in the kitchen with your mum shrugging at you like i don't know

Speaker 1 a very underwhelming yeah yeah sorry but then back to right no it was only the first time i had mexican food that i actually discovered i liked food oh wow yeah and it was a salsa the first thing i ever had that blew my mind was we went to the they they opened some restaurant called Chi Chi's or something by our house, and they brought chips and salsa.

Speaker 1 I was like, what's this? And tried this also. I'm just like, I can taste.
Then you zoom back into some Mexican kids' childhood.

Speaker 1 I'm playing guitar, all isn't it?

Speaker 1 Everyone's looking at you, who are you? Who are you? Shakes them salsa. I can taste.

Speaker 1 Another kid from the Chi-Chis restaurant

Speaker 1 with bad parents.

Speaker 1 Happens all the time. Have you been on Matatubi Adventure, Benito, in Disney, so I can talk about it? Oh.
He doesn't like it if I talk about rides that he hasn't been on, because then it's spoilers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. But it's a really great ride.
Really? The whole thing is really 4D. And my favorite bit is when you go under the oven and they properly heat it from the top.

Speaker 1 So you feel it? Yeah, you probably feel it. And it's very exciting, actually.
Oh, yeah. So

Speaker 1 I would recommend it. Very good.
I will definitely. I'm good friends.
Name drop, but I'm good friends with Pat and Oswald, who

Speaker 1 is the voice of the rat. Has he been on it, do you know? I don't know.
I'm sure he was invited to the opening. I give one thing.

Speaker 1 I didn't pay him.

Speaker 1 I guess he had to probably have to record stuff for the ride as well, right? Thanks.

Speaker 1 I think it sounded like

Speaker 1 it sounded pretty legit, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so maybe he has been on it and been under the big heater. Text him, say, have you been under the

Speaker 1 big rip? Text him right now. Have you been under the big heater? Don't give any context.
He'll know what he's doing.

Speaker 1 If he's been on the ride, he'll know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1 Now, I mean, this is going to be, I'm sure there's a lot of honorable muncheons, although can we even call them that for the drink course for this one?

Speaker 1 Because, like, obviously, just release cocktail time, there's a lot of drinks that you like. Yeah.
Was this very hard to decide what your dream drink was?

Speaker 1 It is, it is, because I would never end with a martini. You know, to me, a martini you start the evening with.
There's something about

Speaker 1 you. Yeah.
Yeah, that's that's that's safe. That's at the top of the meal.
And we're going with martini with your gin with the lemon twist. Yeah, at the top.

Speaker 1 But like a martini is too thin at the end of a meal.

Speaker 1 You need something like thicker tasting however weird that sounds so it's it's a toss-up for me i i got three but contenders um one is a scrapino have you ever had that no oh it's great it's an italian drink basically it's vodka and like lemon sorbet and i think a bit of maybe a bit of cream in there and they they you know blend it um where can i go to get one of these i know you have just absolutely

Speaker 1 did we just blow your mind yeah actually you know where they make a great one is at luccio on fulham road There you go. Yeah.
We had been told about them by a friend of ours in

Speaker 1 LA.

Speaker 1 And so when we were in Italy, he's like, we got to find one. And so we were told it was a grappino.
So we go everywhere, like, do you have a grappino? Grapino, what's that?

Speaker 1 No, sir, we do not have grappino. Everywhere we go, like, grappino, no.
And I was like, it doesn't exist. Find out it's called a scrappino.
I'm like, really?

Speaker 1 You couldn't have put that S on the road. Go back to all of the places that you went.
Sorry, I've been a scrappiness. Sir, that was three weeks ago.

Speaker 1 You're still holding this grudge. Yes, I am.
It was one letter off.

Speaker 1 But oh, they're spectacular. So there's that.
But then I like a good, I love dessert drinks that have heavy cream in them. Great.
Even though I'm lactose intolerant. So

Speaker 1 look out below. Exactly.
Take a pill. Take a pill.
Take a pill.

Speaker 1 It's worth it. It's worth it.
So a Grasshopper, which is an old-timey drink because it's like creme de month and, you know, it's like a pepperminty kind of drink, but it's

Speaker 1 and it's just so good. And it's blend, but you know, it's heavy cream.
So that's a fun one. And it looks fun.

Speaker 1 If I ever make a grasshopper for anybody, they love it. Like, I've never had anybody have any other response other than, oh, my God, this is great.
It sounds amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll order that immediately.

Speaker 1 There you go. So that's great.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 a Manhattan, but a perfect Manhattan, which is, you know, a Manhattan is usually whiskey or rye with sweet vermouth vermouth and some bitters.

Speaker 1 But a perfect Manhattan, you take the one ounce of sweet vermouth and you make it half ounce of sweet vermouth and a half ounce of dry vermouth. So it keeps it just being from a little too.

Speaker 1 Sometimes a Manhattan gets to be a little too cloyingly sweet. I think the first time I heard someone order a perfect Manhattan, I thought they were just being a really difficult customer.

Speaker 1 It sounds like

Speaker 1 a perfect Manhattan place that was after them as like, and that would like a perfect bloody Mary.

Speaker 1 Better be perfect.

Speaker 1 I know, it's it's an unfortunate name. Yeah, but no, but they're fantastic.
Yeah, really, really good.

Speaker 1 I mean, definitely the more that like, you know, I have cocktails, the more that I either want them to just taste exactly like a pudding or

Speaker 1 very boozy and like, you know, just get rid of all the sweetness and have it like that. I don't like anything in the middle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say I only like the sweet ones if they have like a creamy kind of like. I think the scrappino will be your favorite.
I mean, absolutely. This is sort of a limoncello sort of thing.

Speaker 1 I guess it's the same. I think there actually is a little bit of limoncello in there too, but it's mostly the

Speaker 1 lemon sorbet that does it, the vodka that's there to support.

Speaker 1 But they have to whip it up really, really well so that it's light, but also that you can drink it.

Speaker 1 Because I don't like drinking out of a straw, so I always like to drink it, you know, right from the it comes in a champagne fluid usually. Oh, nice.
Yeah, so there you go.

Speaker 1 You're definitely going to go get one of those, right? Yeah, I'm going to be looking for that at every single menu. You can make that

Speaker 1 make a grasshopper. I can make it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was my first one to be made by myself because do I know if it's done right is there a recipe for that in here not for the scrapino but there is one for the grasshopper the grasshopper

Speaker 1 yeah absolutely do the grasshopper you'll be having grasshoppers this saturday yeah when you come over the scrappino the scrappino is a lot of labor intensive there's blenders and all that stuff yeah you'll get involved i'm looking forward to saturday at your house yeah yeah it's a good rattatua in grasshoppers yeah you're ready to be coming over to see my new cat but we're going to have a lovely

Speaker 1 afternoon oh what's your new cat's name terry oh good excellent i love cats yeah

Speaker 1 well James, show Paul a picture of your cat and then we'll see if he still loves cats. Whoa, Paul doesn't know me well enough to be rude about my cats.
Oh,

Speaker 1 is it a rescue? No. Well, no, yes, actually.

Speaker 1 It kind of is. But

Speaker 1 is it alive? It's alive. I promise you, even if it doesn't look like it is in the photo.
Oh, he's a hairless. Oh, okay.
Hairless cat's called Terry.

Speaker 1 Well, my new movie that's out on Netflix right now has a hairless cat in it, so there you go. Do you show it in a good light, Paul?

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 although we had to we actually we he's not in the movie as much as he was going to be but one thing about the male hairless if you know what I'm about to say their balls stick way out yeah yeah we had to digitally take his balls off

Speaker 1 because he had shots like walking around with his butt in front of one of my lead actors faces and these enormous nuts were on the back

Speaker 1 100% December 4th that's when those babies are going

Speaker 1 to march in the calendar bad luck Terry no one needs to see those so you didn't notice those in the casting process? No. The big balls.
No, we didn't. We were just looking.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's so cute from the front. Oh, he's perfect.
He's perfect. And then he literally gets on camera and the ass goes up in the air and you're like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He knows to keep that quiet. That's not going on

Speaker 1 the audience or anything. But who knew that that's what fur was covering up on other cats? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my cat is a big, hairy cat.

Speaker 1 But yeah, before we had those balls taken off, big, hairy balls swinging around at the back. It's just so embarrassing for everyone.

Speaker 1 I got you just had ass really project out of the room when those

Speaker 1 come out, come parading through.

Speaker 1 So basically, that cat costs you a lot more money.

Speaker 1 It did. And then we ended cutting it out, cutting the ball shot out, but they were all gone.

Speaker 1 Cat had to be told that by its agent. Now they've cut out your ball shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can phone them if you like, but it's going to be a bit of a. Let's just say the balls had a separate agent.
That's okay.

Speaker 1 I've never said the cat's balls.

Speaker 1 You're going to talk to me about this.

Speaker 1 So, which of the three cocktails are you choosing? I'm going to choose the scrapino. Nice.
Great.

Speaker 1 Delicious. Great choice.
I mean, it's my favorite cocktail. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we arrive at your dream dessert. No, I mean, you just said a minute ago that you don't like cocktails too sweet.
Am I to be scared here? Is there a cheese board on the home?

Speaker 1 No, I know well enough to not hit you with a cheese board.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, as much as I do enjoy like a cheese course, like if we're in Paris and they come around with that cart, I won't substitute dessert for that. Praise Jesus.

Speaker 1 It was going so well. I know I'm going to get thrown out in the last minute.
I would have loved it.

Speaker 1 Well, again,

Speaker 1 I'm so indecisive. I got a high and low, and I'm trying to figure out which one.
What I love, there's a place in, I talked about La Grandui, where they have the frog's legs in New York.

Speaker 1 They make this amazing passion fruit souffle

Speaker 1 that's so good. And then they pour that passion fruit

Speaker 1 syrup in the middle of it, and that's so good. But then the other side of me is like, I just want like a butterscotch Sunday.

Speaker 1 Just a straight up, you know, great vanilla ice cream, really good hot butterscotch. Because sometimes when you fly, you know, occasionally I get flown first class when I'm, you know, by the studio.

Speaker 1 And on American Airlines, they will come around after, you know, like, would you like a Sunday? And they'll make you a Sunday. Oh, my God.
It's so good. But

Speaker 1 the ice cream is always so frozen, like a block of money. Yeah, of course.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you're just like trying to get through it because you're so desperate to have it. I think that's your absolute dream, isn't it?

Speaker 1 The dream dream luxury moment just to hear would you like a sundae yeah absolutely 30 000 feet in the air yeah yeah wherever i am if something i mean i remember being on a plane once and they brought along like um ice cream like like covered in like like a strawberry ice kind of right ice volley so like like like like a colero but like uh like a chalk ice like and that was a nice surprise I'd never had ice cream just dropped off in front of me before.

Speaker 1 And they came across and did them. And I was absolutely delighted.
Also, I wasn't delighted when they dropped it in front of me because I'd already seen them starting doing it further down the plane.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 1 I can't believe this is going to happen to me. In building anticipation.
Yeah, it was so exciting. And so just that was exciting, let alone if someone came along and said, do you want a Sunday? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, just at any time in my life, if someone's asked me if I want a Sunday, that's very exciting. It is a nice thing.
I feel like Macaulay Colkin.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 the nightmare on a plane is sometimes you see them coming and you're like, they're going to run out. They're going to run out.
And they do run out. That's always my feeling.

Speaker 1 The one thing I can eat on the menu is they always run out.

Speaker 1 It's always the pasta cores, which I, you know, try to stay away because I don't want to be sitting on a plane eating pasta, sitting like a lump.

Speaker 1 So I try to avoid that. But no, I mean, if I had a pick, I would probably actually go for the Sunday.
Yeah. Can I not gain weight in the dream restaurant? You can't gain weight if you don't want to.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Excellent.
And if you want, we can transport you onto a plane for the Sunday if you want that to happen. That's what I would like

Speaker 1 to be sitting on a plane.

Speaker 1 We can either be a real plane or we can just have like the set. of a plane.
That'd be great. Yeah, yeah, you can just pop over there.

Speaker 1 We can take the plane from Bridesmaids. Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 You did a plane scene on that.

Speaker 1 I would encourage you next time you watch Bridesmaids to look at the windows in our plane because it makes me laugh still because we thought we were so clever we had like puffs of smoke going by outside and it looks ridiculous

Speaker 1 clearly the plane is going about two miles an hour if you can see the clouds going by right outside well if anyone's looking at the windows of that

Speaker 1 there's a lot of stuff going on

Speaker 1 in that scene

Speaker 1 a lot of stuff going on between all the characters if anyone's going i was looking at the windows

Speaker 1 Oh, there's always some nerd out there that take you down for something like that. Somebody who's watched it a million times, in which case, any criticism is invalid.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Because they watched it so much. That's right.
And I say that as a nerd, so I'm not

Speaker 1 slamming anyone. We'll put you on that plane with that cast.
Do you want all that cast around you? Would they be good?

Speaker 1 Would that be good to share a Sunday with? Yeah,

Speaker 1 you know, they're all lovely. They're all wonderful people.
Yeah. I would do that.
So it's just vanilla ice cream and Busscotch sauce in there or anything else in there?

Speaker 1 No, I don't like nuts on there or anything or the little chocolatey things, you know, those little,

Speaker 1 I think they're called Jimmy's, but I think that they're actually, that's actually got a really bad etymology. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, uh, but whatever those little candies are.
Yeah. Like 100.
No, I just just straight up. I just love butterscotch.

Speaker 1 That was my favorite thing when I was a kid, like to come home from school and get like this in America, Brocks, and it comes, and you just pour it all over the ice cream.

Speaker 1 That was good. Last time I was on a plane, just coming back from America last week, I didn't get a Sunday, but I did find on the entertainment system a competition, a Ben and Jerry's competition,

Speaker 1 and I watched that for quite some time.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? It was like Bake Off, but with ice cream. Oh, really? Oh, really?

Speaker 1 But by Ben and Jerry's. Sponsored by Ben and Jerry's.
So Ben and Jerry's had done it. A cone was called.
cone champs or something

Speaker 1 and uh and each episode was uh you know you've got to resurrect this dead ben and jerry's flavor from the graveyard and improve on it or you know ludicrous has got a flavor flavor that he wants you to make for him that is based around ludicrous oh but they don't give you a recipe you just gotta you just gotta go for it there's a whole pantry you run in there you all grab different stuff and then ludicrous comes on the screen and it's like but then you got to stand around for a long time while it gets cold i would imagine yeah well no because they're against the clock so some of them were you know were like this isn't going to be cold in time and they're absolutely part of the drama they're panicking so yeah that happens every week pretty much i'll be that show is so perfect for you yeah that i bet you were just gutted that you weren't hosting it yeah well i obviously i was delighted i was on a a seven-hour flight.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you that much. But like, yeah, I was like, how did this person get to host it? They don't even seem to like ice cream that much.

Speaker 1 But like, yeah, I mean, you know, that they have different guest judges. I was like, oh, why isn't this me? I'd love to be a guest judge on something like this.

Speaker 1 Everyone seems to be doing a pretty good job with their ice creams as well. It's quite exciting.
And Bet and Jerry's, you know, they're big on chunks.

Speaker 1 And I'm sensing you're not a chunk guy with ice cream.

Speaker 1 If it's like a chocolate chip kind of thing, yeah, then I'm all for that. Yeah.
Yeah, but not like cookie dough.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. No, that's not in a civilized world.

Speaker 1 I want to live in an uncivilized world.

Speaker 1 Well, if you make ice cream, you know, I've made ice cream a couple of times. You go like, oh my God, like, it's, no wonder it's so hard on you.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's everything terrible, wonderful, but terrible in there. It's just, it's an assault.

Speaker 1 Especially with lactose and tacos.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a true assault.

Speaker 1 I had to make a ice cream for Kevin Bacon once, and he said the main rule was no bacon. Really? That was a shame.
Really?

Speaker 1 What? He said, no bacon.

Speaker 1 What's this?

Speaker 1 They're to make an ice cream for Kevin Bacon. Oh, I thought you were making it clear.
Yeah, you said I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon. I thought you said.
They.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 We heard. On the show.

Speaker 1 You thought I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we were confused. Because I would have thought if at one point in your life you'd had to make an ice cream from Kevin Bacon, it might have come up on the podcast.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, that's one degree of Kevin Bacon right there.

Speaker 1 Sorry, actually. That's a great name for a Kevin Bacon ice cream.
Oh my goodness. I've missed it.

Speaker 1 Come on,

Speaker 1 is it zero degrees of Kevin Bacon? It was me.

Speaker 1 Yes, I missed a member. Just own it.
Just own it. It was me.
I made the ice cream for Kevin Bacon. It was Kiris Hedgeway.

Speaker 1 So you're one away. No, in the Ben and Jerry's thing.
They were like, you've got to make a favour of ice cream based around Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 And his main rule was no bacon. And they were all absolutely devastated.
Because they're all going to be.

Speaker 1 They went, I know exactly what I'm going to.

Speaker 1 me and paul have come up with a better idea yeah yeah zero degrees of kevin bacon yeah we like that well this was called well actually the ice cream flavor was called six degrees of kevin bacon

Speaker 1 because he gave it too far he gave it his six favorite flavors of ice cream and they had to see how many they could incorporate into the ice cream and some went for all six but i don't think those ones worked very well no i still like end nice better i think yeah yeah i think so i think i think yours is nice yeah it's more of a pun it works with ice cream yeah there you go yeah everyone's happy that would be better and you think that Kevin Bacon, plus a whole writing team and people making a TV show, could have thought of that.

Speaker 1 So they should all be ashamed of themselves.

Speaker 1 Plus, all the people who work for Ben and Jerry's involved. Yeah.
And with a host who clearly doesn't like ice cream. Yeah, the host who couldn't give a shit

Speaker 1 where she was.

Speaker 1 You gave him an ice cream themed on his role in The Invisible Man, and it would just be an empty pot. Hollow Man.
Hollow Man.

Speaker 1 It was an Invisible Man show, right? Yeah, but Hollow Man's even better for it, really. Yeah, yeah.
Hollow Man, yeah. Because they open it up.
Bad luck. Yeah, he was nasty in that film, though.

Speaker 1 It was very nasty so someone made an ice cream based around his character in river wild and that's a very nasty character what would you know what would the wicker man uh ice cream be full of bees

Speaker 1 you open it it says bees attack your face

Speaker 1 i'm gonna read your menu back to you now see how you feel about it okay i'm nervous you would like a gym martini to start yes and then water sparkling popadums or bread chips and salsa from Gardens of Taxco.

Speaker 1 Yes, correct. Starter, eggplant palm from La Capania.
Cappanini. Cappanina.
Cappanina. Cappanina in Capri.
Main course, garlic shrimp from Garners of Tatsco also. Side dish rattouille from Cocoat.

Speaker 1 Drink,

Speaker 1 scrip scrappino. Scrappino, yeah.
Dessert, the Sunday on a plane, butterscotch Sunday on a plane with the bridesmaids cast. And the plane is not a normal plane, it's a set plane on a film.

Speaker 1 Exactly, with smoke blowing past the window.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I'll vape at the window.
I would prefer that, actually.

Speaker 1 Only bubblegum flavoured.

Speaker 1 That's a great menu. That's fantastic.
It's so balanced as well. Like, I could actually, I could see myself eating that menu from the beginning to the end.
Yeah. And feeling good about it.

Speaker 1 Well, it's kind of, it's two countries come together. You got Mexico over here and you got Italy over here and a little bit of America thrown in the middle.

Speaker 1 And the Sunday's a lovely way to round off, I think. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Who's not happy when they're having a Sunday, really? I mean, most people like hot fudge and fair enough. I can't have chocolate because I can't have caffeine.
So

Speaker 1 I go crazy. I get very excited whenever, like,

Speaker 1 you're at a table, there's a lot of people and usually when it's my family and someone has the idea of ordering Sundays and having Sundays and everyone's got them. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's when I like it the most. I don't actually don't like it if I'm the only one with a Sunday.
That's a lot of focus on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But if we've all got them and we're all eating our Sundays, that's good stuff. So we'll order some for the whole Brainsmaids cast.
There you go. Excellent.

Speaker 1 Have you ever walked down the street eating an ice cream cone? People's like just seeing the faces of people come towards them, like double takes and like people go crazy.

Speaker 1 Like everybody then wants yeah yeah an ice cream cone it's sort of the most i don't know viral kind of uh dessert you can't spread spreads like a yawnly exactly i don't think i can walk down the street with an ice cream cone anymore because if i bump into people who listen to this podcast they just laugh their heads off that they're seeing me eating ice cream in public i did it in seattle i got a molly moons which is like some of the best ice cream i've ever had yeah molly moons in seattle and i had three massive scoops he sent me a picture it was insane so ed thought a baby was holding it because of how small my hand looked

Speaker 1 at this homemade waffle cone. It was like humongous, but the whole thing was incredible.

Speaker 1 But I walked from there back to my hotel, which is a two-hour walk to like, you know, to while eating this ice cream, but bumped into someone who knew the podcast and they could not stop laughing.

Speaker 1 Of course. Seeing me with this massive kind of cone of ice cream that was like.
You see me walking through the street with a cheese board.

Speaker 1 That would make me very angry.

Speaker 1 Paul, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you for having me on.
It's been an honor. Thank you, Paul.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much to Paul Feig for coming in. Very exciting to have him.
James is hammered now.

Speaker 1 I'm drunk.

Speaker 1 I'm less drunk because you might have heard that Paul spilt some.

Speaker 1 One of the drinks he knocked and spilled half of, and that's the one I got given. So I feel pretty good right now.
It gave me an idea.

Speaker 1 I definitely felt a little bit of a buzz there. Oh, you always get the buzz.
And I thought, man,

Speaker 1 those Dukes ones that we hear so much about,

Speaker 1 I can see how

Speaker 1 that could be the case now. Because I thought, one martini, this will be fine.
No, by the end, I was saying I made ice cream for Kevin Bacon.

Speaker 1 Absolutely loved that bit. I loved all of it.
What a lovely chat. And also, it's very odd that he didn't say bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant.
Strange.

Speaker 1 I thought he would have taken the opportunity to promote one of his films and chose bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant, but he did not.

Speaker 1 he did not so luckily we got to talk to him for his whole menu which I thought was very good it's a delicious menu the cocktail was delicious that he made us so make sure you pick up a copy of Cocktail Time by Paul Feig so you can make those cocktails yourself at home and get you know if you're looking for a gin art installs get art installs man that was a delicious gin it was it was very nice indeed great to meet you thank you very much for listening to the off-menu podcast we will see you again next week bye-bye

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Speaker 21 Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont.

Speaker 1 And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 25 Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding.

Speaker 26 That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah.

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I emailed a hundred Dereks.

Speaker 1 I don't think it was Derek's, I thought it was Brian.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook.

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