Ep 191: Paul Feig

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the vermouth of good chat, the gin of fantastic humor, the ice of the internet, mixing them together, then pouring into the beautiful podcast martini glass and serving with a twist of fun.

I absolutely love it.

Ed Gamble, my name's James Acaster.

This is the Dream Restaurant.

We invite a guest in every single week.

We ask him their favourite ever start and main course dessert, side dish and drink.

And as Ed's the little clue there, little clue might have tipped you off.

This week's guest is Paul Feag.

Paul Feig, an amazing film director, writer,

cocktail man now.

Yes, during the lockdowns, he was making cocktails online and he's turned it into a book called Cocktail Time, which is full of loads of recipes for cocktails as well as stories from his life.

A little bit of advice in there if you want.

It's the ultimate guide to growing-up fun, and that's out now.

You can get that.

We've been flicking through it.

I can't wait to make some stuff from that.

Yeah, yeah.

there's so many great ideas in there the way that he writes as well the stories that he tells it's a wonderful read um i'm genuine looking forward to making some of these uh cocktails some of them which i've never had before but they look and sound delicious well maybe some of them will come up in the chat with paul fig yes fingers crossed but ed listen we both love paul fig however if he brings up an ingredient a secret ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable we will kick paul fig out of the dream restaurant we will and today that secret ingredient is

bad meat in a Brazilian

restaurant.

We've tried to find out for ages the exact thing that makes them really ill on bridesmaids.

We've been sat here for a long time googling what gives them food poisoning in bridesmaids.

Every single website just says bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant.

That's all it says.

So that's what the secret ingredient is.

Very unlikely he's going to choose that.

Yes.

Because the word bad is in it.

Yeah.

No one says, I'll have some bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant, please.

But, I mean, also, I think he knows his stuff, you know.

Yeah, he seems to be a foodie.

He's at least a drinky.

He's a drinkie.

But often drinkies are foodies.

Yeah, drinkies are foodies.

They go hand in hand.

I'm very excited for this one, James.

Paul Fig's done so much amazing stuff.

Yeah.

I mean, we're both fans of Frinks and Geeks.

Yeah.

The aforementioned bridesmaids, of course.

And the US office, you know?

Oh, come on.

I'm going to try and get a US office in there.

Yeah.

Like a little reference.

You've got to drop a ref.

I'm going to try and sneak under the radar, see if we can get it past it.

See what happens.

We'll see.

Also, there's some talk, Benito's let us know, of him making us a martini, which is why I did the martini intro.

Because I got gin on the brain.

I'm very excited about that.

If we get a martini made for us by someone who has a cocktail-making book out there.

Yes.

And his own gin.

And his own gin, of course.

Artingstool's London dry gin.

Can't wait to try it.

Yeah, me too.

We've got a good history of guests on the pod who have their own spirits and them turning out to be delicious.

So very excited for that.

Very excited for the chat.

Very excited to meet Paul Figue.

Let's do it.

This is the off-menu menu of Paul Feig.

Welcome, Paul, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you so much.

I'm so excited to be here.

Oh my gosh.

Welcome, Paul Figue to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Ah, finally, Jeannie.

I finally meet you.

So it's a great pleasure.

I thought that was a big explosion I did there.

I thought that was a good one.

Yeah, that was a good one.

You didn't quite get a sleep, but it was a bit more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was worried for a second.

I'm in the genie splash zone, so I got quite a lot.

How often do you reckon I'll spit on you?

Well, normally we sort of sit next to each other, adjacent, so I don't get too much spit, but occasionally a little fleck.

Right.

The microphone takes a big

hammering.

And Benito, who's people can't see, but he's holding the microphone in front of my face.

I finally meet Benito.

I'm very excited about this.

Is he how you imagined he would be?

No, actually.

Better, much better.

How did you imagine him?

I don't know why I imagine some big hulking

guy.

Because of the presence of the word great, I guess.

You know, that's what it is.

Like, sort of like, yeah, that, that, you know, the classic Warner Brothers cartoon genie.

Yeah, yeah, come bursting out.

So I'm happy that I'm not afraid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just slightly intimidated.

We're very excited to talk about all things food.

Also, your new book, Cocktail Time, which is out, which is like, I mean, it's not just cocktail recipes, although it is.

has loads of brilliant cocktail recipes in it, but also it's got stories and just, it says the ultimate guide to growing up fun as well, which I think sums it up nicely.

Yeah, thank you.

No, I like, you know, I like old-timey kind of cocktail party fun, you know, and that sort of, you see those pictures from the 50s and 60s of people in small apartments in New York and tuxedos and gowns, drinking martinis.

That always looked kind of cool to me.

So try to bring that back.

oh nice and it was a lockdown project as well so in lockdown what did you become that guy yeah were you wearing those tuxes in the house well i did i had an instagram live show i did every day for a hundred days in a row where i made cocktails and raised money for for uh first responders and all that and this kind of grew out of that a lot of people said well write down the recipes and then i just kept writing because it was locked down and i had nothing else to do lovely what was such a fantastic idea yeah thanks and i'm definitely gonna i'm gonna use it as an excuse to just get through this and make cocktails at home excellent alone good well my wife my wife doesn't really drink cocktails but like i i make martinis at home and then it just and then you sit down with the martini and it makes sense if you're like wearing a tuxedo and you're making a night of it yeah but when you're just sat on the sofa with a martini in a martini glass just in your pajamas it's just like there's there's a special level of bleakness it can tip descent

slightly

but at the same time though my one of the things i always talk about i talk about in the book is like at least you're drinking out of like a nice glass make it into something yeah because there's no excuse for drinking booze out of plastic i I think that's that's the line I draw.

Yeah, because then you just want to get drunk.

Yeah, do you have a favorite uh cocktail glass at home that's like the really fun glass that you can have a nice drink out of?

Yeah, I've got a couple of martini glasses I like.

One that's from a uh like the Connot Hotel that's really fancy and all that.

And then there's also more kind of old-timey kind of 50s tumblers that are fun to have like a scotch out of or that kind of thing.

So I sound like I'm a huge drunk, right?

So only one of the martini glasses is from that hotel.

There's two.

There are two.

If a guest came over

and broke one of those glasses,

how good do you think you could disguise your anger?

I'm pretty good at that.

My wife is terrible at it.

She's like, if somebody spills something, she's like, oh my God, you've got to get this off the floor.

I just have this clean.

It's like, let it go.

Let it go.

It's not that bad.

But I will secretly despise them.

Yeah.

Yeah, especially if there's only two glasses from the conot, you just have to go to the bathroom and bite your knuckle until

two more and then i've got an odd number unless i then have them over again and they break another one so then we get back back to the evens that's a good martini at the conot that's somewhere i have been because it was just before we started recording we were talking about dukes oh yeah yeah which we've spoken about before on the podcast but we've still not had a chance to go

um but the conot

love the conot yeah they do a lot of pageantry there yeah they pour it from on high which which is nice although i as a as a um cocktail enthusiast and a martini lover yeah i feel like that's just making it slightly less cold Okay, so you're a purist as well because they do all the bitters as well.

You can have all the different types of bitters.

Yeah.

But are you more of just the straight-up martini guy?

Yeah, to me, it's all about the gin and the interaction with the vermouth.

And then, you know, I like lemon twist on top because I like a bright martini versus, I think, olives sort of drag it down sometimes.

I mean, we should mention

we are in the presence of the martini equipment here.

As well, you brought it with you.

So

I feel like we should have a lot of it.

Would you like me to make you a martini?

It would be a shame not to.

I just hope.

And Benito, this might be just a lot of noise.

This is great, though.

We can use it as like, get a wild track of that and use it as the stings in between a bit.

Exactly.

Now, normally I would not use my hands to put the ice in here, but they are clean.

So just know my friend Alessandro Palazzi, who's the head bartender at Duke's,

when I would do my show on Instagram, he would send me texts and say, like, stop using your hands.

Use a spoon.

I completely trust you, Paul.

I'd say, in fact, and I mean this, you're our cleanest looking guest we've ever had.

Yeah, really.

By some distance.

Did I meet Stanley Tooch?

Oh, yeah.

Actually, the Tooch looked pretty good.

The Toocha.

Yeah, Toocha's Toocha's a good friend of mine.

Yeah, the Tooch is a clean-looking man.

Also smelled wonderful.

Saw smelled good.

Yeah, yeah.

I've eaten at his house many times, and the food is everything you think it would be.

I'm sure.

And ten times more.

I'm sure.

Although,

his wife Felicity makes the gnocchi, and it's unbelievable.

It's lighter than air.

I mean, like little pillows of delicious what do we got to do to get an invite to the tutorial?

I've got to go back to that Atlanta hotel.

James bumped into him in a hotel in Atlanta.

Oh really?

After we'd done the podcast.

He remembered me.

After being reminded.

So you know.

So we've got is that the vermouth that's just gone into the middle?

Yeah, this is the vermouth.

It's a dry vermouth.

I like Dolan personally.

I have no investment in it whatsoever.

But I basically, it's just a few drops.

So you just want just enough.

You know how like when you have a single malt scotch and you put in like a drop of water just to open it up?

Yeah.

That's that's kind of what that's how I look at the vermouth and a martini bean.

Because some people use a spray, right, as well.

Have you seen that before?

You actually just spray it over or just rinse the glass with it as well.

That's what they do, Duke, because that's what's holiday.

That's where I see it.

He puts it in on a show.

Yeah, pours it in, spins it, and then throws it on the carpet.

Yeah.

So there you go.

I don't encourage that for anybody else.

Your wife immediately.

And we just have a tree.

Get out.

Alessandro.

And now just a ton of gin.

This is my own gin, too, that I make.

And what's the name of your gin?

My gin is called Artingstall's Brilliant London Dry Gin.

Amazing.

And what a beautiful bottle.

Thank you.

What a lot of designing this.

Very nice.

That's stolen.

So I'm literally just selling stuff on your show for the last 10 minutes.

Listen, Dan Atkoy did that, and he's one of people's favorite episodes.

I don't think Dan likes me very much.

Dan and I have a little history.

I love Dan.

He's one of my favorites, but he kind of turned on me after Ghostbusters.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, hey, we'll let him know.

We'll say, Joe, what?

You and Paul Fig have a lot in common.

Exactly.

You should pick up the phone, Dan.

But I will do a much longer interview than

I don't think you, I'm not sure arting stools will be in every course that you suggest.

Certainly not.

Certainly not.

A crystal skull after this.

So I'm just, I'm stirring endlessly because it needs to be very, very cold.

Oh, this is very exciting.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I saw someone once making, because, you know,

as you say, when people are making the cocktails and they do the really high pour,

it can be quite theatrical and quite fun to watch, but not as fun as when I watched someone mess it up once.

It was just absolutely...

They did the really high finger.

They just went all over the floor.

And I thought, oh, no.

His hand's completely wet because he's just got his own dire hand that was holding the glass at the bottom.

Paul's wife pops up from behind the bar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You took great joy in that favorite.

I really loved it.

I was really laughing from across the room.

I wouldn't cut my finger off while I

was.

You are peeling a lemon.

Peeling a lemon.

There we go.

Normally I I will do gigantic peels but uh since I'm in the in the you know service of time I'm gonna try to make these just normal there we go four martinis one for each of us including great bonito the only thing in wrong with this is I did not chill these glasses okay normally

ice cold there's a specific amount of martinis that I think is correct for an evening.

How many martinis would you have on an evening?

Well, here's the big question.

It depends what size they are.

There's a very evil thing going on in the world, especially in America.

And I think it's here.

I've had it here too, which is like a martini should be four ounces.

They've started doing like 10-ounce martinis.

Oh, my God.

Which is like more than a third of a bottle of gin.

So if you want to, though, and you know, you want it to be cold.

So in order to keep it cold, you kind of have to slam it down pretty fast.

And then you're whacked out.

I mean, you're gone.

So if it's a 10-ounce martini, you know, don't even finish it.

But normal, like a good four-ounce martini, which is kind of what I'm pouring here, that's just, you know, friendly and gets your evening off to a good start.

And you can have wine and all that.

So now you got it.

It's all about getting the lemon oil.

Sorry, people at home, I'm squeezing a lemon, a lemon twist over this and get the edges.

Oh, God.

Call my wife.

There we go.

And then you got to get it onto there.

I like this.

Squeezing the lemon peel, rubbing it around the rim, dropping it into the cool pool.

There we go.

The cool pool.

The cool pool.

Holy martini.

You don't normally have to negotiate a microphone while you're

cheers.

Yeah, that's right.

I blame the mic.

Thank you, Solar.

Cheers, you bet.

Thank you.

Cheers to you.

Cheers to you.

Cheers.

Thank you.

Cheers, Benito.

Cheers to Benito.

Cheers, exactly.

And thank you for letting me do this on your show and having me on because I'm a massive fan.

Oh, that is absolutely

phenomenal.

You like that?

Love it.

Excellent.

What a lovely gin.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

What a lovely gin.

We've won a lot of awards and all, so I'm very, very proud of it.

Yeah,

fantastic.

Now the show's just a little bit of a chance.

Now with a cool drink in front of us, exactly.

James is coming across the table.

We're a little stuck.

Will we have enough to get a Shrek?

Oh, we will see.

We will see if Shrek comes out.

After he's had a martini.

Oh, don't get out of don't have a martini.

Oh, it's on my martini.

Here's my this is my Shrek challenge do, though.

Do it without saying oh, donkey for you.

Yeah,

see that you know that's the warboom.

I know, exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

I either say our donkey or my name is Shrek.

This is Shrek.

Yeah, even one of them.

It's when you can tell that someone's a good impressionist when they say the name of the person they did the impression of before they do it.

God, if I'm bitter, it's made me a cottage.

It's really hard.

Well, let's get into still or sparkling water.

Yes, sparkling.

I love sparkling.

I know it's a very controversial thing on here, but

first of all, I don't buy all this science that everybody has about how it, I don't know, makes your teeth rot and your bones get soft and all that.

Maybe it's true.

I don't know.

I just, I love sparkling water, but I like it extra crazy sparkling.

Like I have a soda stream and literally will run out a canister just making it so much.

Like I've had it literally put the cott cap on and I take it off and a cap pops off.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

So you just like keep pumping the gas into it.

Oh, yeah.

It's ridiculous.

Is that something that's gradually increased over time where you were like a one pump and then it was two and now you're like...

Yeah, I just got waiting.

Whatever that sound is it makes, that kind of that farting sound that it does when it tells you you're ready, but you have to let it go past that into like torture for it.

I love that the soda stream guys are probably listening to this going, we can't recommend that.

That's so dangerous.

Exactly.

Especially if it passed the fight.

But it's like, I just don't like an anemic kind of sparkling water, you know, especially when you make, like, I really like gin and sodas and i'll probably become a pariah in in in in in the uk for saying this but i actually i would like to have people switch from gin and tonic gin and soda because tonic water is filled with sugar you know i don't want to rain anybody's parade but uh but also it just covers up the taste of the gin which uh you know yeah i i would agree with that actually like like tonic like if you have a you know have tonic on its own it's absolutely disgusting i don't think that's true i'm gonna i'm gonna be on the side of tonic here you're a tonic boy i love tonic i and i have Diet Schweppes tonic, which is sugar-free.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

So there you go.

No sugar in there.

But I do agree that I would never have a gin and tonic with like a really nice gin

that I'm very excited about.

Well, a delicate gin.

Yeah, I just don't want to like, yeah, because it does shout over the gin a bit.

But no, I love tonic.

No, fam.

I didn't know you were such a tonic head.

I'm a tonic head.

I drink tonic.

We had a gin and tonic the other day.

We went out for a drink, the three of us.

Yeah.

Me and Benita won the beers, beer boys, beer twins.

And

one arms around each other, beer boys,

cheers in.

And you were there with a little gin and tonic in the corner.

And that doesn't feel great when it's, should we go for a pint and you go into a British pub for a lovely pint and then you're the one sat in the corner drinking a gin and tonic?

Being very self-left out of it.

But like with a tonic water, you wouldn't want like a sort of a half-bubbly tonic water.

You'd want like goosey bubbles.

Yeah.

It needs to make itself apparent.

Yeah, exactly.

So that's why, you know, there's some of these, these sparkling waters, like your boudoirs and all that which it's just like like a baby farted in it or something there's just there's nothing going on there

it just looks like maybe the glass was dirty so there's a little bit of kind of bubbles on the side boudoir was the name of the baby exactly

little boudoir what was it yeah

i'm ready

um i mean is your sparkling water of choice then for this a gin and sparkling water um well a gin and soda water no because i'm gonna i'm going to have a drink before i have my meal Lovely.

And that would be a martini.

So I'm not surprising anybody with that.

But no, no,

I like good old-fashioned New York seltzer water.

That's super aggressive.

Just make your tongue kind of come alive.

But it's hard to get that here.

Hard to find that here.

No flavor?

None of the flavored ones?

No, no flavor.

No, I don't.

I mean, I do enjoy a LaCroix, if you will.

Sure.

Yeah, which is, I know, controversial for some people.

Always gets a shout out from American guests, though.

It does.

And and it always is followed by the phrase, I know it's controversial.

And we have to sit here and act like we know what that means.

Do you have LaCroix here?

No,

we went to LA and New York to record some episodes of this and we got into LaCroix.

Yeah.

I think because someone maybe mentioned it in early episodes, the Benito went out and bought a load and we just had him in the Airbnb.

So we were necking him pretty solidly when we were over there.

But I still didn't see the controversy.

I was like, this is pretty nice.

I think it's just looked at as being kind of douchey.

Yeah, so there's that.

But I know somebody I know actually says it tastes like a drawing of an apple.

Yeah, it's just the merest hint of fruit, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's like Boudoir ate a raspberry and then...

Pop it up softbread.

Pop dump saltbread, Paul Fig.

Pop it up softbread.

I'm ready.

I'm ready for this.

Well, here, okay, so I would like to change it up a little bit if I could.

I would very much like chips and salsa.

And when I say chips and salsa, not British chips, obviously, but like tortilla chips, like in a Mexican restaurant.

Yeah, that's my favorite way to start it.

I love it.

Desway Birch definitely chose this.

I don't know if anyone else has.

No, it's been a long time since someone went with this, and I think it's such a good choice.

I love it when people hack this part of the meal and don't just go with the two options and actually get something that would normally sit here.

It feels like a proper celebration of the course.

There you go.

I didn't want to be controversial.

Once again, I'm trying to stay away from controversy.

Desperate to not be cancelled on this podcast.

The one I was looking forward to the most is the one that took me down.

It's such a good choice because like I love bread.

I have bread before a meal anytime, but it can fill you up so much.

Whereas when it's chips and salsa, it really gets you excited and ready for the meal.

It's like that little tingle.

Well, it blasts your taste buds

in a great way.

But here's, I mean, I love Mexican food and you'll find that out as I go through my menu.

But depending on what Mexican restaurant you go to, there's a gazillion different types of salsa and some are really terrible and some are fantastic.

But there's so many just kind of like limp ones.

Yeah.

And I don't understand them.

And there's some that are crazy.

There's some one place in Pasadena, California, where I, that it literally just take those chili flakes and they put oil in it and that's it.

And it's like, it's kind of madness.

Yeah.

I mean, you're just, your tongue's on fire, but not in a fun way.

Just motherfuckers perts.

That's a challenge.

Yeah.

Do you have a particular salsa that you love that you would want with this course of music?

Yeah.

There's a place called Gardens of Taxco in Los angeles and they only they they were this great restaurant that they were there forever and they had their big thing was they had no written menus the guy would come over and would recite this menu to you but it had jokes in it and like one of the jokes was always uh it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce and so you would like

you know stretch out balls

did you go there enough that you knew the script because you like mouth along to what he was saying it's that thing you know when there's something you you love and you just know it so well so you take people there and it's always like here comes those two jokes and we just like wait for those two jokes, which, you know, after a while is just kind of pathetic.

It's just not that funny, really.

No, it's like when I went to Disney World and I went to go on the jungle cruise and you know that the backside of water joke is coming.

And I was really excited about that.

But I'd never heard it before in person.

I've just seen it on a bunch of stuff.

And when they said backside of water, I started an applause on my own.

I was like, and one person joined in and we made eye contact.

We're like, yeah, we know.

Super fans.

We know, we know that.

That's a great running joke.

joke so i'll get how you feel at this restaurant i'll be quite excited saying it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce is a weird joke yeah

i know and kind of unsettling too that was how he said we deconstructed it

i didn't i didn't even think about it for a second i'm like that's what does he mean something i would eat anything that tastes like it was born in the thing i'm gonna eat weird home birth going on about a patent pool full of the sauce

there you go that was we're gonna eat it immediately you know take it out to pool fig and he's gonna eat it that's right i'll do do it.

I guess it means it's just been marinated for a long time, maybe.

Yeah, I guess it's just, it feels like

it feels part of the sauce.

Like, how could it be

better?

And the other joke was it's spicy, not hot, spicy.

Yeah, that's the thing.

It's the delivery.

Could see the audience.

Yeah, if he was a stand-up,

you would join in with that.

And you can tell all the regulars would bring somebody new and they're all like watching him with anticipation, watching the person.

Like, are they going to laugh?

But I, oh my God, my mom, right?

i took my mom there once like in the last year of her life and you know she she was always kind of put upon by my grandmother who was very overbearing and so she was always very meek and when my grandmother died my mom kind of found herself uh but over overly found herself like you know she'd be telling a story and somebody would like interject with a joke and she's like excuse me i'm talking

like mom you can't now just take over i know you're trying to right the wrongs of your whole life but so i take her there you know i'm so excited and the guy's doing the menu and right in the middle of it she goes is he ever gonna going to stop talking?

It's like, oh, my God.

He's making a spicy jokes.

Never go back.

So the chips.

Yeah.

Do they make the chips in house?

Or are they bought?

Because like that's really exciting when you go to like Mexican restaurants, especially right around, I haven't been to Mexico, want to, but especially around LA where I've been there and there's like the Mexican restaurants there.

The chips are incredible.

Yeah, you never quite know.

You know, there's some places that make them, but I've been to places where they make them with flour flour tortillas, and those are kind of funky because they get kind of like, you know, bubbly and then they keep the grease on them and stuff.

So that's not as much fun.

I like just a good corn chip.

And if it's made in-house, that's great.

But

I tend to not ask.

I don't want to know.

And why salsa over, for me, I'm a guac guy.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a guacaholic?

Yeah,

you're a guac head.

I'm a guac head.

There you go.

You're guacky.

Yeah, yeah.

And with salsa, salsa, sour cream, guac, guac, where are you ranking them?

I love guac.

So not sour cream guy, not a sour cream guy.

But what I like to do is get a big, you know, especially when they make it table-side, that's the best when they'll make the fresh guacamole.

But then you get dip some guacamole and then put it into the salsa.

Try not to get the guacamole in the salsa because that's always disgusting when people do that.

And then so then you got the double thing, and that's the best.

That's the greatest.

Are you getting them on the corners then?

Is that how you're dipping them?

No,

I do the flat, you know, it's the triangle.

So you use the point and then you use the big scoop at the back because I like a lot of salsa.

I will run through bowls and bowls of salsa.

Great.

Yeah.

And how spicy are we talking on the salsa?

Pretty spicy.

Yeah.

I want it pretty hot.

But it's like,

have you ever gotten burned at like a an Indian restaurant?

That's most places I go to, I'll go like, look, careful, sir, it's really hot.

Okay.

And it's not hot at all.

But you say that in an Indian restaurant and you get fucked really badly.

I mean, once I go like, I want it hot.

He goes, like, hot?

I said, yeah, really hot.

Okay.

And the first bite, and you're like, oh, my God, what am I going to do?

Yeah.

I'm going to die.

He's gone back to the kitchen and gone, let's fuck this white guy over.

Oh, totally.

And he's standing there cross-armed in the doorlight.

And here he comes.

So I'm just eating.

I went to a taco place in LA and they refused to give me one of the tacos because it was too spicy.

Really?

Maybe I've been to the same place.

I've been twice and they both times refused to give it one.

One, just because of the look of you?

Yeah, I think so.

Really?

They have one that's like, you can get five different levels of spice.

And I think I asked for a three and they were like, no, no, no.

And I went, no, I really like spicy food.

They were like, no, you can't have that one.

Did you have to work your way up to it?

Yeah,

I think I'm going to have to keep going back there and start with a one and build my way up.

Well, did you have a two though?

So was that?

I think I ended up respecting something different because I panicked.

But it's a fantastic place.

Oh, delicious.

But like, I think the only place where I've, because in Indian restaurants, normally

I don't say to them like, I want it hot.

But they'll sometimes say, what you've just ordered is a bit hot.

Right.

But I'll go for it and I'm usually fine the only place where that's not worked out for me was also in LA at Jitlada oh and they said like honestly like because

I was quite excited about going there I've never been before so I googled online the best dishes there they said these three I thought I'm just ordering those three I'm doing it yeah and they went what you have just ordered like don't have that I was like I'm fine honestly I know I thought I was gonna die yeah type

of spice it was way more ferocious than Indian spice

yeah personally I don't know I don't know if it's because we're more used to like Indian food.

Maybe, but like some of that Thai stuff is like absolute fire.

Well, it's just absolute pain.

You can't feel your tongue.

Yeah.

And then it's just like there's a knife in your mouth.

Well, that's what's so amazing about it there was that it was still delicious.

Like the flavor was still amazing.

Yeah.

While it was absolutely kicking the shit out of me.

So I kept on putting it in my mouth.

Yeah.

And that's a good balance.

Sometimes it's just an assault and it doesn't taste like anything other than death.

Yeah, sure.

Then you're never going back.

But

I mean, oh, I really want to go back there now.

Now I've just started talking about it.

Yeah.

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Your dream starter.

Yes.

Well, it's tough.

I mean, you know, as any foodie will say, it's a tough question because there's so many things we like.

I mean,

I've got ones that I love.

I even wrote them down just because I don't want to forget.

I mean, I like frogs legs are really great.

It's probably impolitic to say something like that.

No, I mean that's that's interesting though.

We haven't had anyone choose frogs legs.

I don't know we have no.

But but like from a place called Che Lamy Louis in Paris and they make them Provençal style.

And so and they're actually fairly graphic too because like normally you get them like in New York there's a place called La Granduis that I go to and it's just like the legs it looks like a little mini chicken leg but these are literally like they're cut off at the waist.

Oh wow.

Oh okay so you know, you really are connecting with the animal.

Wow, that must French people really don't give a shit, do they?

That's great.

No, they just flop it off.

Yeah.

Down you go.

You've got to get the dick in there as well.

Exactly.

Excuse me, my frog doesn't have a dick.

That's right.

That's the best part.

It's always the most disgusting part.

It's the best part.

Everybody always tells you.

Yeah.

So

the flavor is.

Yeah.

Exactly.

But then on that.

And then escargo, I love, you know.

Yeah.

Okay.

If I go in like of a French thing, but I, you know, it's funny when you're trying to put together your dream menu at the dream restaurant, do you want to go high or low?

And it's very tempting to want to go high.

Yeah.

You know, just to be, it's like when somebody asks you what your favorite movie is as a filmmaker, I always have to like try to pull out some heady kind of reference where I just want to go like Napoleon Dynamite, you know, or my money pot on holy grail.

So I feel that.

But I'm fighting the pressure of that here.

But

keeping in the Mexican world at the Polo Lounge in LA, they have this tortilla soup, which is unbelievable.

So that could be it.

And then

at the polo bar in New York, they have a corned beef sandwich as a starter.

Oh, and I think they call it salt beef here, right?

Is salt beef the same as corned beef?

No, so yeah, salt beef.

I think we've called salt beef here because like a corned beef here is different because it's like when I first had corned beef in the US, I was like, oh, this is not.

This is not the same.

This is more shredded kind of like corned US bus.

Whereas here, it's like...

Corned beef is something you get in a tin it's like a wartime thing oh

there's it's like spam it's like spam adjacent there's like jelly and like it i mean look i love corned beef oh man the corned beef sandwiches when i was a kid yeah for lunch i would i would hit the jackpot if that was if that was my lunch in my lunchbox i was so delighted that i had a corned beef sandwich that was what i was crossing my fingers for but very very different to to us corned beef i think you put mustard on it you can do you can yeah yeah as a kid i didn't as a kid i was just I think I was just margarine and corned beef at absolutely having the time of my life.

But now

I would want some salad in there, some mustard.

Yeah, I'd like to be a little bit more.

Oh, okay.

I want it to be more.

Yeah, because

the American corned beef and pastrami, I mean, it's all brisket-based.

Yeah.

So, which is so good.

But, I mean, pastrami is my personal favorite because that's even leaner.

But yeah, they make a sandwich there.

It's kind of like,

you know, toasted, not even toasted.

It's like not fried, but you know, pan kind of seared.

And then they cut it up in these little pieces and have this beautiful deli mustard that's hot.

Oh, so that.

So that's good.

So I could get that.

But then, I don't know, shrimp cocktail.

Let's talk about shrimp cocktails.

Because

they're so different here and in the States.

Okay.

The reputation of them here is like, it's very 70s.

Like it was a 70s dinner party thing.

But also our like prawns are like so tiny here if you'd buy them from anywhere other than like an amazing fishmonger's or you live on the coast.

So

I just think it's difficult to find a good one.

They're out there.

You don't know what you're getting.

We've had a lot of people, a lot of British people on the podcast choose a prawn cocktail as their dream.

And, you know, when they're asked about it, they always specify massive prawns that are like hanging on the side of the glass or something like that.

So that that's what they want.

But more often than not, if you go and get it in a restaurant, you've got the little tiddlers.

There's hardly any in there.

And the piece of lettuce.

Yeah, and then just like very boring lettuce.

But in the States, it's shrimp and then a cocktail sauce.

It's not a a cocktail sauce.

That's the difference.

And my wife always orders

a shrimp cocktail in England.

I'm always like, you're not going to be happy because she always thinks it's going to be cocktail sauce.

And it's not.

It's that.

It's like a Mario Rose.

Mary Rose, which is more pink.

It's almost kind of like

a Thousand Islands?

Yeah.

It's similar, yeah.

It's just ketchup and mayonnaise.

Yeah, it's a little bit more.

Because American cocktail sauce is basically ketchup and horseradish.

So it's really strong.

And there's some places, there's a place in

St.

Elmo's Fire, actually, in Indianapolis that was famous for this cocktail sauce that they put so much horseradish in that you could, like, if you breathe out of your nose as you ate it, you would die.

But you had to learn how to do it.

Yes, please.

And that is the secret.

I love that as a fact.

If you breathe out your nose, you will die.

It's happened before, but we're still open somehow.

If you had that like hot wasabi or whatever, like, you're fine breathing in, but if you breathe out your nose, it's just like, oh,

your head explodes.

So that's what I missed, man, about Tao Tao Zhu, man.

Yeah.

It's what I missed.

That was Sabi sauce with the prawns.

It used to burn right through all of my sinuses and it was great.

Now they've softened it.

Using it as medicine.

Yeah, yeah.

But I know exactly what you mean.

And it's a good feeling.

Yeah.

I like it.

There you go.

Are you leaning towards anyone in particular?

Yeah, I'm actually leaning towards out of the blue.

And this is a dark horse because I just discovered it two months ago.

I had my 60th birthday.

Thank you so much.

Today was the first day I used my 60 and over free subway card, and it was so depressing.

Literally, it's the old man card.

You like, push it, and it just says enter.

It doesn't even say anything on it.

It's just like, come in.

You're closer to death.

You're on the train.

Come in, welcome.

Exactly.

Why does it ever say exit?

Yeah, I mean, that's another customer.

The Grib Reaper.

Yeah, yeah.

No, so we were in Capri, Italy, and on the last day, went to this restaurant that we had never been to to before called La Capanina.

And they had an eggplant parm that was unbelievable.

Because I enjoy eggplant parm, but this was like they had cut the eggplant into these ribbons, like these, I mean, micro-rimbids.

So the whole thing was so light and just came this little kind of, you know, ramekin kind of thing.

And it was spectacular.

So that's, that's my starter.

Yeah, I mean, that's such a great choice.

Yeah.

I'm a big, big fan of, I mean, will you say aubergine here?

Sure.

Yeah, exactly.

exactly

i i like eggplant yeah as a word as well i i like that it's two different things yeah they could not be more different though yeah yeah how those words got so far yeah yeah it's not like aluminium aluminum yeah

i was at a party last night somebody asked me about metals and i said aluminium just because i didn't want to get shamed for pronouncing it the american way how'd it go it went well and actually they kind of they they didn't take a beat to kind of question me and i was like wait i did it i passed

across the room to your wife i Honey, I tricked up.

Her name's Laurie, though, and that's a truck, so you never know.

Everyone does recover if you shout Laurie in the room.

Oh, this sounds great.

Also, I think on this pod, the more that people, if people mention something that doesn't get mentioned a lot or that can get overlooked, I think this version of it must be really, really good.

So it makes me want to try it because I'm like, if someone's chosen that, it must be because that particular version was like, there's so much.

It was transformative because you know i i i'm i i'm a big foodie and i've spent most of my life traveling around the world and you know i spent probably spent most of the money i've earned on meals uh i love fancy meals and all that stuff and that this was just mind-bending because i've had eggplant or aubergine palm parm before and sometimes it's just like they'll just cut a you know cut one in half and put the stuff on top of it that's kind of good but it's kind of you know like a steak but this was just like you need the layers right you need you need it to be layered up yeah i love it it was almost kind of it was almost like the eggplant version of uh uh you know a lasagna right so in between each layer they're putting like cheese and stuff

yeah mostly tomatoes some cheese in there and some olives and stuff but it was all done so light and it just was like kind of fluffed up almost if you will that sounds great yeah it was pretty great love it and a ramekin as well so it's like so starter size yeah the big

cast iron kind of ramekin that comes in but it wasn't hot you know i mean you know you could touch it so if there's some chips left over from when they were brought are you are are you going to be dipping a chip in there as well?

Oh, definitely.

I'm going to scoop out some.

And I'll get some bread, too.

Maybe if there's a good Picccio around or something.

I'm sure we got some kicking about.

We can bring some.

But Stanley was right.

Stanley Tuccio was talking about how the bread in Italy is not particularly great.

And it's kind of true.

I think they save it all up for the pasta and all that.

But it's good for scraping stuff up.

Yeah.

But what was this restaurant called again?

It's called La Capanina.

Is there some other highlights from that place that you want to shout out before we move on?

I mean, everything was really good.

That one just blew everything out of my brain so much that I couldn't.

It's tough, isn't it?

If the starter is so good.

Yeah.

And then the rest of the meal, you're like, oh, I can't quite.

Well, although that's how you know it's good.

Yeah.

Because Ed does judging on Great British Menu, the TV show.

And I've been lucky enough because of that to go to the banquet a couple of times because I got a hookup.

And you got to judge it by the end and say like what course was the best.

And you always think, well, that's unfair because I'm just going to write dessert because it was the last thing I had.

that's what you do because you're you

sure

two years in a row I voted for the dessert

But that first year that starter was so good that like it was between those two and I'm you know and I remember thinking that starter must have been amazing that I'm still thinking about it at the end of the menu I find that to be the case with a lot of Italian cooking for some reason because like your mane is more like a fish or something.

So it's it's kind of hard to make that really exciting once you've got this really cool either a pasta starter or you know parm or whatever, you know, that kind of thing.

So like, oh, there's another place in Capri that I love called Ligartelli, which is you walk all the way over the island and it's up like in a sea cave.

It's gorgeous.

Wow.

But they have mama's stuffed pepper and she makes this stuff pepper.

You know, mama cooks in the back.

That's it's family run.

And it's so spectacular that kind of everything else, they bring all this fresh fish and it's nice, but it just, you know, you can't beat that first starter.

Mama absolutely wiping the floor with everyone.

No, yeah, just guy wipes out by the side.

And screaming, yelling fights in the back.

We heard some knockdown dragon fights back there.

I don't know what they're saying, but really ugly.

Good stuff, Pepper, man.

Oh, yeah.

Like, that's incredible.

Yeah.

With that kind of mystery stuffing, you know, you don't know what's in there, but it's all good.

And you don't

want to know what's going on.

You just don't want to have a name.

Tell me what's in that.

Put some bread, grabs, and cheese on top.

Disguise it.

There you go.

I just know how some of those fights end.

That's who's in the stuffing.

Dream Main Course.

I know, Dream Main Course.

It's again, it's hard.

Also,

I'm loving the honorable muncheons, the amount of honorable munches to the starter.

Well, I always find when I listen to your show, I love it so much, but I'm always kind of curious.

Like, some people will kind of say things that they're debating on, and I find that really fun.

Yeah, I just love hearing about food.

So, yeah, it was always the best.

But I mean, for me, well, I mean, okay, again,

I'm going to start.

I love steak.

You know, I like just a good kind of like a filet mignon or something, or at the polo bar in New York, they have the polo burger, which is just this amazing hamburger that's big and thick, and it comes with french fries and all that stuff.

So that, you know, that kind of stuff, that's sort of my most fun meal to have.

Or like spaghetti a la vanglo when you're in a

great clams.

Oh, it's just so.

Oh, that's right.

I remember, yeah.

Your memory for the show is incredible.

Well, that's because I didn't know what it was when he said it.

And then I got dressed in doubt.

So I don't remember it.

I was glad I could.

I like how labor-intensive it is because it shows up and it's like, I don't know, you enjoy those, right?

Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah.

You have to get all the shells out first, right?

Okay, yeah.

Sometimes I'm always tempted, like, well, maybe I kind of eat around the shells.

I find it a bit annoying, but then once you've done it, it is worth it.

You feel like you've earned.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

You've done a little workout several times.

Do you not think, couldn't they have done done this in the kitchen?

Couldn't they have got de-shelled all these clams in the kitchen?

They know I'm not going to eat them.

Why are the clams?

Is it to show you how fresh they are?

Especially when the clam shells are extremely hot, yeah, yeah, and then there's always a bit of pain.

But I guess they've got to cook it all together, right?

Sure, because they're cooking the clams in there, and that's how they steam in the shells and they open up.

Because you can't take the clams out and then cook them in because then they're going to overbook.

Maybe there should be a bit of theater with the waiter coming out and being like,

bring the dish out and then in front of you with some like cool techniques with cutlery yeah you know de-shell all of them and flipping the shells

flipping the shells left right and center into like bins behind them yeah and stuff and be like there you go and it's all done for you not a bad idea i like it i think it's good that's what the aubergine thing reminded me of is when the three of us went to New York and they brought out my aubergine and the guy just completely

you know just can't

feel like with a fish thing yeah

it was like it was grilled wasn't it and it was a grilled aubergine and that was pretty much all it was in an Italian restaurant with olive oil on it.

And he just criss-crossed it and then shredded it all up so it was all delicious.

Nice.

Which meant that I then copied it at home.

So maybe that's why they don't do that in front of you with the clams.

You're stealing their bread.

Because now I just do it at home.

I don't have been to that restaurant ever again.

He's going to learn we don't need anything.

Now we need us.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, you shouldn't be trying the clam thing at home.

Lots of people inventing it.

I could be the one who invents that.

Well, have you been to Mr.

Chow's?

They do that.

It's a Chinese restaurant.

There's one here, I know, but there's one in Beverly Hills.

And they come out, the noodle chef comes out and does it in front of you.

Like they do.

I've seen that show.

I've seen that done before.

It's very cool.

It's amazing.

It's like magic.

They just keep pulling it and it gets thinner and thinner and more and more.

It's incredible to watch that.

Don't try that at home, Joe.

It would not go well.

We're going to talk about Benny Hanna before moving on, or is that crass?

Oh, can we?

When it comes to the theater of food.

I enjoy a Benihana visit.

Yeah, yeah.

It's fun.

I think all of my knowledge of Benihana has come from watching American sitcoms where there will be an episode where they go to a Benihana office.

Of course, exactly.

In the American office, of course.

Yeah, that's right.

My dad took it.

I made my parents take me to one once when we were in Chicago because I desperately wanted it.

I was like nine or ten.

My dad's like, oh,

he didn't like anything like that.

So he's like, ah, this is going to be a disaster.

For some reason, he was counting on being a disaster.

So there he is sitting there.

Guy's doing the thing.

You know, he does this one moment where where they'll like cut up the shrimp and he'll pop it under your plate from far away.

Yeah.

Pops on all the plates, goes right under my dad's tie.

Chinese

brand new tie, big things.

God damn it.

The one guy.

That happens because sometimes I'm that guy.

I can be grumpy.

And my dad's the same.

And I think you attract the bad thing happening to you.

I 10% agree.

Because it's just when everyone's on edge because there's one sort of bad energy in the room.

Yeah.

And then it always happens to that guy.

Oh, no.

no.

And then it just tips over and the whole night's ruined.

Yeah.

Well, that's like when you take somebody to your favorite restaurant.

Like,

you know, when my wife and I first started dating, I had all these restaurants I really liked, like Chinese restaurants and stuff.

And she's like, oh, I don't like the look of them, or they seem gross or whatever, just because

they weren't the highest end places.

I'm like, no, that's great, it's great.

Every single time, there'd be a hare in her food.

She'd see a cockroach on the ground.

I've never seen it any other time.

Why is that happening with you?

I would love it if I went to a Benny Hanemer vet and he got a shrimp, flung at his tie.

I would be the best thing ever.

Whether you got grumpy about it or not.

Yeah, I would.

I would be very excited in the moment when it happened.

Yeah.

I'd say, I'm never wearing a tie again.

Yeah.

I've never worn a tie out to dinner before.

And the first time I do it, a shrimp hits it.

All the way home, I've never wearing a tie again.

But James, you'd buy him a tie with a big target on the front.

I might do it.

Yeah, yeah.

I might do it with a shrimp just.

Can you do it?

But so those are all what I thought about getting.

But what I would get is from the infamous gardens of Tasco with the menu that they say in the two jokes They make a garlic shrimp that is unbelievable and it's it's not what it sounds like is you know kind of the curled up shrimp, you know, just cooked in this very kind of thick garlic sauce that's tomato-based and and and it's just so amazingly good and I just eat a mountain of it.

How much shrimp is in there?

Because that's what I always want to know before I order.

Yeah, I'm with you.

You always get ripped off on shrimp.

Yeah.

Always.

They're pretty good here.

You actually, in one order, you'll probably get, I mean, I would dare say 10 or 15 shrimp.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Because that's the worst when you get like a shrimp curry and they're like, oh, there's three.

And they're not big.

Yeah.

It's like that thing of you never go in to a restaurant and order fish on a Monday, right?

Is it a Monday?

Or get the special fish dish on a Monday?

Because it's them just trying to get.

all of the fish out that they've had over the weekend before the new delivery comes in.

Yeah, if you've been doing that a lot,

you love your Monday shrimp.

Monday fish.

These are Monday fish.

Yeah, yeah.

What's the rule with oysters and red tide?

I never can figure that out in the R.

There's, yeah, there's something with oysters.

There's red tide, which I guess means if you eat them, you'll die or something.

But they also say don't get oysters in months with an R.

I don't know what the rule is.

There just seems to be some rule.

That feels too neat a phrase.

Yeah.

It feels like that matches up too perfectly.

Well, yeah, I mean, it's like

the celestial being is going like, there's an R.

The oysters aren't going, well, I better go back.

It's January now.

I don't know what the rule.

I just know that there's something they say.

I'm trying not to listen because I love oysters.

I just want to have them when I have them.

I would have them whenever.

I'm going to be in my head now.

Yeah.

If I get one any other month than that, I'm going to be like, red tie.

It's like red tie to people.

This is my issue with oysters.

Whenever I order a thing of oysters with somebody, that person will pick up the fucking lemon and immediately put it on the thing and it drives me crazy.

Sure, sure.

Because I don't necessarily want it on.

on you.

You don't need it to be mother with that.

Like, shall I be mother?

They pick up the lemon, put it all like that.

Yeah.

It's like,

who said that we all want, I don't know, I mean, you might like lemon.

I like lemon.

Yeah.

But if I'm sharing a dish, whatever it is, whether it's oysters or whatever, it comes with a wedge of lemon.

I'll always pick up the lemon wedge and I say, shall I lemon?

That's good.

Shall I lemon?

You've always got to check and say, shall I lemon.

You have to ask.

Yeah, you have to ask.

Otherwise, I'm happy to individually lemon my pieces.

Right, there you go.

But that's how a civilized person is.

But there's just something where people just like, they just commandeer it and off you go.

But what does make sense to me is lemon is kind of a, it's, it's like a, uh, um, you know, a salt substitute, basically.

And so you're just salting something that's already salty.

So why?

I don't know.

Also with oysters, it's like, it's a very particular thing for yourself.

It's like what you're going to put on it and then and then eat it.

You want to do that.

The ceremony of it is really nice.

I don't want anyone else putting anything on my oyster.

Yeah.

I want to be able to get each one decide,

I want lemon personally, shallots and some

hot sauce.

Tabasco.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm happy.

That's my.

All I do is Tabasco.

That's it.

That's it.

Yep.

I'm adding an oyster now.

We've got martinis.

How are you going to bring any oysters with me?

What's your oyster?

Oyster combo?

Depends, you know.

That's the joy of it.

They all come in their own little plates, don't they?

So you can mix it up.

Who mixes it up?

Sometimes just Tabasco.

Mignonete.

Sometimes if I'm in America and they've got the cocktail sauce.

Yeah.

Put that on as well.

That's great.

Yeah.

But sometimes just a straight oyster, guys.

Yeah.

Wow.

If it's a really good region, there's ones called

Beaux Soleil that I love in the Eastern.

It's like a TV series here.

It wasn't?

Yeah, he wore masks of funny celebrities.

And then he said, like, if they've got different catchphrases for like each celebrity.

Yeah, really.

Beau Soleil, yeah.

It's kind of, it's not aged well, but

like, that's what he used to do.

Yeah, Beau Soleil.

Now, what about raw clams?

I don't think I've already had raw clams, you know.

That's right.

I've had raw razor clam before.

Oh, lovely.

Oh, razor clam.

Oh, and cooked razor clams.

Forget it.

Oh, with the garlic and all that.

So good.

Those are transcendent.

But no, like a good clam, like a little neck clam,

like at the oyster bar in Grand Central Station in New York, they're great because they're small.

And what you do is you get those and then you get the cocktail sauce, the really hot, and you just really soak them in that.

I love it.

Good stuff.

Couldn't be love it.

I really want to try this cocktail sauce now that I didn't know existed because I just assumed shrimp cocktail was the same as prawn cocktail over here.

And now I've discovered there's this horseradish cocktail that if you can make it just where you through your nose, you die.

So we move on to your dream side dish.

Yes.

I struggle with side dishes sometimes because they're never usually that exciting.

You know, they're usually more like it's more alleviates the guilt of the main.

Sure.

Like if you get a steak, it's like, okay, I should get some products on here.

Or something, something, some kind of green thing.

But my favorite side is Rattatouille.

We've actually,

has anyone actually chosen Ratatouille properly?

Oh, no, they got a first hour.

A lot of references.

There's been a little chatatouille.

A lot of Chatatouille, not enough Ratatouille.

I was worried it might be the secret ingredient.

No.

The minute you, one week, you did Portobellos, and I was like, oh no, like I'm anything could happen on this episode.

So yeah, I could stumble into something really terrible.

I mean, so the Rattatouille, ratatouille, I would say, because we've talked about the film a lot on the podcast, and I do think the ratatouille in ratatouille looks better than any ratatouille I've ever had.

Ah, yeah.

I love the way it looks, the colours.

Because of the slight, thin slices,

and it's made by a rat.

And it's made by a rat.

And I've been there.

Well, the one I love is from a place called Coco.

Cocoat, which is, there's one by us in Chelsea, but I think there's another one in Notting Hill.

It's the roast chicken place.

We were talking about this.

We were literally talking talking about it on an earlier episode.

We've recorded three episodes today.

The first episode, I was talking about how I love the salads there.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

And the chicken.

I had it for lunch there.

I haven't had the chicken yet.

I've had the chicken soup, which I think is delicious.

So I used to live near one, so I could get it delivered, but now I live too far away.

Gutted.

Absolutely gutted.

It's too late.

It's fantastic.

And I didn't know they did a ratatouille either.

Their ratatouille is spectacular.

Much more spectacular.

Maybe that's what I'm getting tonight now.

Because, like, yeah, I don't know if I can get that at my house.

And the other thing they have, which is a great side dish too, which is my secondary one, is their chips are fantastic.

They do these, you know, they're made with like, they put herbs on top of them.

And they do truffle ones too.

I don't like truffle fries.

It's too much.

Yeah, it gets a lot, doesn't it?

Yeah, because it's never real truffles.

Yeah, it feels like.

Is that truffle oil?

First time you had them, were they exciting?

Truffle fries?

Truffle fries?

They were titillating because it didn't seem like you should be having them.

So it felt very...

But it quickly,

when it's that truffle oil, it's just too, it's like truffle concentrate, which can be a little bit Dutch.

That's when I felt like Ed and I knew that we were properly just like spoilt little boys now.

It's when we were saying, like, for secret ingredient, put truffle oil on there.

It's not nice.

It's nice for like the first few times.

It's not real truffle.

But they've overdone it now, and we don't like truffle oil.

Oh, awful.

What a couple of awful guys.

Well, I've not had the fries from there either.

Sorry, I'll get the fries on the road.

Do they still do the roasted potatoes as well?

They're fantastic as those are really great.

Oh, what a place.

I miss that place.

That's all good.

You come in mountain to mine mine on saturday let's go for lunch

and they weirdly travel well too the the the those those fries you know chips really travel well it's only two blocks from our house but still

sometimes you know a chip the minute it leaves the store it just all falls apart yeah nothing worse than the soggy chip we order from a place now and again um where when you order on the website it's it says oh when you get the fries put the oven on when you order oh and then put them onto a baking tray to warm them up and like freshen them up when they arrive it's like well if i wanted to do that i would have cooked something.

Exactly.

What are you talking about?

It's a takeaway.

Your raw chicken arrives.

Yeah.

Marinade that.

Brine it for two days.

Yeah.

Enjoy your takeaway.

Unbelievable.

So the ratatouille at

Coco, yeah.

Yeah.

So what's like going on there with that with the makes it better than ever anyway?

Well, you know, they have all the vegetables and the peppers and all that and zucchini, I guess, and all, but it's, it's the sauce that it's in.

It's got almost like a, again, I just love tomato, anything with like a tomato sauce, but tomato sauce sounds too reductive.

It almost sounds like it's marinara or something.

It's very flavorful, extra flavorful, almost kind of like a brownish, you know, tomatoy look.

And it just kind of comes together great.

And it's kind of perfectly shaped.

They do it more in chunks as opposed to the Rattatouille movie slices.

And it's just tender and it always arrives really hot.

And it's just, I don't know, and it's got a bit of spice to it, too.

So it's not dull.

I think it's a great choice as well, because you said that side dishes are to alleviate guilt, but you've, so you've got something with vegetables in it, so you've got that element to it, but also it's rich and it's delicious and it feels like a treat as well.

Exactly.

So it doesn't feel like homework.

No.

Does it take you back to your childhood like Anton Ego in the film?

No.

No, my mom, bless her heart, was a terrible cook.

And surpassed only by my grandmother, who was the worst cook in the world, but who was...

presented to me as the world's best cook.

Oh, wow.

So I'm talking about mind fuck.

I thought I didn't like food for the first 12 years of my life.

Because

your grandmother's chicken soup's the greatest.

It tastes like nothing.

Because she didn't use salt or anything.

So it just was like this sludge.

But they would all wax poetic about it.

Then my mom was Canadian, and so she would make like beef stews and stuff, which were okay, but they just didn't have any flavor.

Like nobody knew about spices where I was from in Michigan at the time.

So why was everyone bigging up your grandma's cooking?

Did it make her happy or did they genuinely think it was good?

He thought it was great, but he had a a very, you know,

that palate.

You know, my grandmother was Jewish and my dad, you know, and all that.

So it's that cooking where they don't want any sodium so nobody will, you know, die of a heart attack.

So everything's just taken down so many levels.

And then, you know, and she would boil chickens, like boiled chickens.

It's like, you know, unless it's in a soup, a good soup.

Because my wife makes an amazing chicken soup.

I can tell you her secret ingredient, too.

Oh, yeah.

Ketchup.

Ketchup.

Which sounds crazy.

Yeah.

Put ketchup in the soup.

And

it gives it enough kind of sweet and savory

and brings it to life.

And if only my grandmother hit a bottle of ketchup in the house.

I can see why your dad was so shocked when someone threw a shrimp at his tie now.

Growing up having a bland chicken soup.

And so seasoning on it.

Your grandmother hit me with a boiled chicken.

Well, I mean, yeah, I like the thought of you having a mouthful of the ratatouille and going backwards like Anton Ego did, but it's ended up in the kitchen with your mum shrugging at you like, I don't know.

A very underwhelming.

thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it was only the first time I had Mexican food that I actually discovered I liked food.

Oh, wow.

And it was a salsa.

The first thing I ever had that blew my mind was we went to the, they opened some restaurant called uh Chi-Chis or something by our house, and they brought chips and salsa.

I was like, What's this?

and tried this also.

I'm just like, I can taste.

And then you zoom back into some Mexican kids' chocolate.

I'm playing guitar, all isn't this.

Everyone's looking at you, who are you?

Who are you?

Shake some themselves up i can taste

another kid another kid uh from the chi cheese restaurant

with bad parents

happens all the time have you been on ratatubi adventure benito in disney so i can talk about it oh he doesn't like it if i talk about rides that he hasn't been on because then it's spoilers yeah exactly but uh it's a really great ride really the whole thing is really 4d and my favorite bit is when you go under the oven and and they properly heat it from the top so you're gonna do it so you feel it yeah you properly feel it and it's very exciting actually oh yeah so

I would recommend it.

Very good.

I will definitely.

I'm good for the name drop, but I'm good friends with Patton Oswald, who is the voice of the rat.

Has he been on it, do you know?

I don't know.

I'm sure he was invited to the opening.

I didn't pay him.

I guess he had to probably have to record stuff for the ride as well, right?

I would think.

Or he didn't sound like a fake rat.

I think it sounded like Pat.

Yeah, I think it sounded pretty legit, actually.

Yeah, so maybe he has been on it and been under the big heater.

Text him, say, have you been under the

big heater?

Text him right now?

Have you been under the big heater?

Don't give any context.

If he's been on the vibe, he'll know what you're talking about.

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Now, I mean, this is going to be, I'm sure there's a lot of honorable muncheons, although can we even call them that for the drink course for this one?

Because, like, obviously, just release cocktail time, there's a lot of drinks that you like.

Yeah.

Was this very hard to decide what your dream drink was?

It is, it is, because I would never end with a martini.

You know, to me, a martini you start the evening with.

There's something about

you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's that's that's safe.

That's at the top of the meal.

And we're going with martini with your gin with the lemon toys.

Yeah, Yeah, at the top.

But like a martini is too thin at the end of a meal.

You need something like thicker tasting, however weird that sounds.

So it's a toss-up for me.

I got three

contenders.

One is a scrappino.

Have you ever had that?

No.

Oh, it's great.

It's an Italian drink.

Basically, it's vodka and like lemon sorbet and I think a bit of, maybe a bit of cream in there.

And they, you know, blend it.

Where can I go to get one of these?

I know you have just absolutely.

Did we just blow your mind?

Yeah.

Actually, you know where they make a great one is at Luccio on Fulham Road.

There you go.

Yeah.

We had been told about them by a friend of ours in

LA.

And so when we were in Italy, he's like, we got to find one.

And so we were told it was a grappino.

So we go everywhere.

Like, do you have a grappino?

Grapino, what's that?

No, sir.

We do not have grappino.

Everywhere we go, like, grappino, no.

And I was like, it doesn't exist.

Find out it's called a scrappino.

I'm like, really?

You couldn't have put that S on the road.

Go back to all of the places that you went.

Sorry, I've been a scrippiness.

Sir, that was three weeks ago.

You're still holding this grudge.

Yes, I am.

It was one letter off.

But they're spectacular.

So there's that.

But then I like a good, I love dessert drinks that have heavy cream in them.

Great.

Even though I'm lactose intolerant.

So

look out below.

Exactly.

Take a pill.

Take a pill.

Take a pill.

It's worth it.

It's worth it.

So a Grasshopper, which is an old-timey drink because it's like creme de month and, you know, it's like a pepperminty kind kind of drink but it's it and it's just so good and it's blend but you know it's it's uh heavy cream so that's a fun one and it looks fun i've never ever i if i ever make a

grasshopper for anybody they love it like i've never had anybody have any any other response other than oh my god this is it sounds amazing yeah yeah

i'd order that immediately

there you go so that's great um and then and then a uh a a a Manhattan but a perfect Manhattan which is you know a Manhattan is is usually

whiskey or rye with sweet vermouth and some bitters.

But a perfect Manhattan, you take the one ounce of sweet vermouth and you make it half ounce of sweet vermouth and a half ounce of dry vermouth.

So it keeps it just being from a little too.

Sometimes a Manhattan gets to be a little too cloyingly sweet.

I think the first time I heard someone order a perfect Manhattan, I thought they were just being a really difficult customer.

It sounds like

a perfect Manhattan place that was after them and was like, and that would like a perfect bloody Mary.

I know it's an unfortunate name.

No, but they're fantastic.

Yeah, really, really good.

I mean, definitely the more that like, you know, I have cocktails, the more that I either want them to just taste exactly like a pudding or

very boozy and like, you know, just get rid of all the sweetness and have it like that.

I don't like anything in the middle.

Yeah, I'd say I only like the sweet ones if they have like a creamy kind of like.

I think the scrappino will be your favorite.

I mean, absolutely.

This is sort of a limoncello sort of yeah thing or i guess it's the same i think there actually is a little bit of limoncello in there too but it's mostly the the you know the lemon sorbet that does it and then the vodka is there to support but if they but they have to whip it up really really well so that it's light but also that you can drink it because i don't like drinking out of a straw so i always like to drink it you know right from the uh it comes in a champagne fluid usually oh nice yeah so there you go you're definitely gonna go get one of those right yeah i'm gonna be looking for that at every single menu you can make that you can make that grasshopper i can make it yeah i was my first one to be made by myself because do I know if it's done right?

Is there a recipe for that in here?

Not for the scrapino, but there is one for the grasshoppers.

I do the grasshopper.

You do the grasshopper.

Yeah, for sure.

Absolutely.

Do the grasshopper.

You'll be having grasshoppers this Saturday.

Yeah.

The scrapino is a lot of labor-intensive.

There's blenders and all that stuff.

Yeah.

You'll get involved.

I'm looking forward to Saturday at your house.

Yeah, yeah.

Grata to it in Grasshoppers.

Yeah.

Eventually coming over to see my new cat, but we're going to have a lovely cattail afternoon.

Oh, what's your new cat's name?

Terry.

Oh, good.

Excellent.

I love cats.

Yeah, we got one, but I love that.

Well, James, show Paul a picture of your cat, and then we'll see if he still loves cats.

Whoa, Paul doesn't know me well enough to be rude about my cats.

Oh,

is it a rescue?

No.

Well, no, yes, actually.

It kind of is.

Is it alive?

It's alive.

I promise you, even if it doesn't look like it is in the photo.

Oh, he's a hairless.

Oh, okay.

A hair.

Hairless cat's called Terry.

Well, my new movie that's out on Netflix right now has a hairless cat in it, it, so there you go.

Do you show it in a good light, Paul?

I do.

Very good light.

Although we had to, we actually, he's not in the movie as much as he was going to be.

But one thing about the male hairless, if you know what I'm about to say, their balls stick way out.

Yeah, yeah.

We had to digitally take his balls off.

Yeah, yeah.

Because he had shots like walking around with his butt in front of one of my lead actors' faces, and these enormous nuts were on the back.

100%.

December 4th, that's when those babies are going.

There you go.

So march in the calendar.

Bad luck, Terry.

No one needs to see those.

So you didn't notice those in the casting process?

No.

The big balls.

No, we didn't.

We were just looking at, oh, he's so cute from the front.

Oh, he's perfect.

He's perfect.

And then he literally gets on camera and the ass goes up in the air and you're like, oh, my God.

He knows to keep that quiet.

That's not going on

the audience or anything.

But who knew that that's what fur was covering up on other cats?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, my cat is a big, hairy cat.

But yeah, before we had those balls taken off, big, hairy balls swinging around at the back.

It's just so embarrassing for everyone.

I know every uses ass really project out of the room when those wheels come out, come parading through.

So basically, that cat costs you a lot more money.

It did.

And then we ended cutting it out, cutting the ball shot out, but they were all gone.

Cat had to be told that by its agent.

Now they've cut out your ball shot.

What?

Yeah, I can phone them if you like, but it's going to be a bit of a let's just say the balls had a separate agent.

That's not what you were.

I've never said the cat's balls.

You're going to talk to me about this.

So which of the three cocktails are you choosing?

I'm going to choose the scrapino.

Nice.

Great.

Delicious.

Great choice.

I mean, it's my favorite cocktail.

Yeah.

So we arrive at your dream dessert.

No, I mean, you just said a minute ago that you don't like cocktails too sweet.

Am I to be scared here?

Is there a cheese board on the home?

No, I know well enough to not hit you with a cheese board.

You know, I mean, as much as I do enjoy like a cheese course, like if we're in Paris and they come around with that cart, I won't substitute dessert for that.

Praise Jesus.

It was going so well.

I didn't know I'm going to get thrown out in the last minute.

I would have loved it.

Well, again, I'm so indecisive.

I got a high and low, and I'm trying to figure out which one.

What I love, there's a place in, I talked about La Granduis, where they have the frog's legs in New York.

They make this amazing passion fruit souffle

that's so good.

And then they pour that passion fruit

syrup in the middle of it.

And that's so good.

But then the other side of me is like, I just want like a butterscotch sundae.

Just a straight up, you know, great vanilla ice cream, really good hot butterscotch.

Because sometimes when you fly, you know, occasionally I get flown first class when I'm, you know, by the studio.

And on American Airlines, they will come around after, you know, like, would you like a...

Sunday?

And they'll make you a Sunday.

Oh, my God.

It's so good.

But

the ice cream is always so frozen, like a block among them.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

But you're just like trying to get through it because you're so desperate i think that's your absolute dream isn't it the the dream luxury moment just to hear would you like a sundae when you're absolutely 30 000 feet in the air yeah yeah wherever i am if something i mean i remember being on a plane once and they brought along like um ice cream like like covered in like like a strawberry ice kind of right ice volley so like like like a celero but like uh like a chalk ice like and that was a nice surprise I'd never had ice cream just dropped off in front of me before.

And they came across and did them and I was absolutely delighted.

Also, I wasn't delighted when they dropped it in front of me because I'd already seen them starting doing it further down the plane.

And I was like,

I can't believe this is going to happen to me.

In building anticipation.

Yeah, it was so exciting.

And so just that was exciting, let alone if someone came along and said, do you want a Sunday?

Yeah.

I mean, just at any time in my life, if someone's asked me for one of Sunday, that's very exciting.

It is a nice thing.

I feel like Macaulay Colkin.

But the nightmare on a plane is sometimes you see them coming and you're like, they're going to run out.

They're going to run out.

And they do run out.

That's always my feeling.

The one thing I can eat on the menu is they always run out.

It's always the pasta cords, which I, you know, try to stay away because I don't want to be sitting on a plane eating pasta, sitting like a lump.

So I try to avoid that.

But no, I mean, if I had a pick, I would probably actually go for the Sunday.

Yeah.

Can I not gain weight in the dream restaurant?

You can't gain weight if you don't want to.

Okay, good.

Excellent.

And if you want, we can transport you onto a plane for the Sunday if you want that to happen.

That's what I would like

to be sitting on a plane.

We can either be a real plane or we can just have like the set of a plane.

That'd be great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can just pop over there.

We can take the plane from Bridesmaids.

Oh, there you go.

You did a plane scene on that.

I would encourage you next time you watch Bridesmaids to look at the windows in our plane because it makes me laugh still because we thought we were so clever we had like puffs of smoke going by outside and it looks ridiculous

clearly the plane is going about two miles an hour if you can see the clouds going by right outside well if anyone's looking at the windows of that

there's a lot of stuff going on in that plane going on in that scene

a lot of stuff going on between all the characters.

If anyone was going, I was looking at the windows.

Oh, there's always some nerd out there that will take you down for something like that.

Somebody who's watched it a million times, in which case any criticism is invalid.

Exactly.

Because they watched it so much.

That's right.

And I say that as a nerd, so I'm not

slamming anyone.

I'll put you on that plane with that cast.

Do you want all that cast around you?

Would they be good?

Would that be good to share a Sunday with?

Yeah,

you know, they're all lovely.

They're all wonderful people.

I would do that.

So it's just vanilla ice cream and Busscotch sauce in there or anything else in there no i don't like nuts on there or anything or the little chocolatey things you know those little

i i i i think they're called jimmies but i think that they're act that's actually got a really bad etymology yeah

so uh but whatever those little candies are yeah like

no i just just straight up i just love butterscotch that was my favorite thing when i was a kid like to come home from school and get like this in in america the brocks and it comes and you just pour it all over the ice cream that was good last time i was on a plane just coming back from america america last week i didn't get a sundae but i did find on the entertainment system a competition a ben and jerry's competition and i and i and i watched that uh for quite some time

what do you mean it was like bake off but with ice cream oh really

but but but by ben and jerry's ben and jerries had done it a cone was called cone champs or something

and uh and each episode was uh you know you've got to resurrect this dead ben and jerry's flavor from the graveyard and improve on it or you know Ludacris has got a flavor that he wants you to make for him that is based around Ludacris.

Oh, but they don't give you a recipe.

You just got to.

You just got to go for it.

There's a whole pantry.

You run in there.

You all grab different stuff and then Ludacris comes on the screen and it's like.

But then you got to stand around for a long time while it gets cold, I would imagine.

Yeah, well, no, because they're against the clock.

So some of them were, you know, were like, this isn't going to be cold in time.

And they're absolutely

panicking.

So yeah, that happens every week, pretty much.

I'll be.

That show is so perfect for you.

Yeah.

I bet you were just gutted that you weren't hosting it.

Yeah, well,

I was delighted.

I was on a seven-hour flight.

I'll tell you that much.

But, like, yeah, I was like, how did this person get to host it?

They don't even seem to like ice cream that much.

But, like, yeah, I mean, you know, they have different guest judges.

I was like, oh, why isn't this me?

I'd love to be a guest judge on something like this.

Everyone seems to be doing a pretty good job with their ice creams as well.

It's quite exciting.

And Ben and Jerry's, you know, they're big on chunks.

And I'm sensing you're not a chunk guy with ice cream.

If it's like a chocolate chip kind of thing, yeah, then I'm all for that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But not the, not like cookie dough.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not in a civilized world.

I want to live in an uncivilized world.

Well, if you make ice cream, you know, I've made ice cream a couple of times.

You go like, oh, my God.

Like, it's...

No wonder it's so hard on you.

I mean, there's everything terrible, wonderful, but terrible in there.

It's just, it's an assault.

Especially if you have lactose and top.

Yeah, that's a true assault.

I had to to make an ice cream for Kevin Bacon once, and he said the main rule was no bacon.

Really?

That was a shame.

Really?

What?

He said, no bacon.

What's this?

They had to make an ice cream for Kevin Bacon.

Oh, I thought you were making it clear.

Yeah, you said I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon, I thought you said.

They.

Oh.

We heard.

On the show.

You thought I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon.

Yeah,

we were confused.

Because I would have thought if at one point in your life you'd had to make an ice cream from Kevin Bacon, it might have come up on the podcast.

I was going to to say, that's one degree of Kevin Bacon, right?

Sorry, actually.

That's a great name for a Kevin Bacon ice cream.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Jack.

Is it zero degrees of Kevin Bacon?

It was me.

Yes, I missed a member.

Just own it.

Just own it.

It was me.

I made the ice cream for Kevin Bacon.

It was Kira Sedgwick, who was a family.

So you're one away.

No, in the Ben and Jerry's thing.

They were like, you've got to make a favour of ice cream based around Kevin Bacon.

And his main rule was no bacon.

And they were all absolutely devastated.

Because they're all going going to be like,

they went, I know exactly what I'm going to

me and Paul have come up with a better idea.

Yeah, zero degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Yeah, we like that.

Well, this was called, well, actually, the ice cream flavor was called six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Oh, that's it.

Because he gave it

his six favorite flavours of ice cream, and they had to see how many they could incorporate into the ice cream.

And some went for all six, but I don't think those ones worked very well.

No, I still like Nice better.

I think.

Yeah, yeah.

I think so.

I think yours is nice as this.

It's more of a pun.

It works with ice cream.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, everyone's happy.

That would be better.

And you think that Kevin Bacon, plus a whole writing team and people making a TV show, could have thought of that.

So they should all be ashamed of themselves.

Plus all the people who work for Ben and Jerry's involved.

Yeah, well, the host who clearly doesn't like ice cream.

Yeah, the host who couldn't give a shit

where she was.

Could have been

an ice cream themed on his role in The Invisible Man, and it would just be an empty pot.

Hollow Man.

Hollow Man.

It was an Invisible Man show, right?

Yeah, but Hollow Man's even better for it, really.

Yeah, Hollow Man, yeah.

Because they open it up.

Bad luck.

Yeah, he was nasty in that film, though.

It was very nasty.

Someone made an ice cream based around his character in River Wild, and that's a very nasty character.

What would the Wicker Man ice cream be?

Full of bees.

You just open it.

It says bees attack your face.

I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it.

Okay, I'm a little nervous.

You would like a gym martini to start.

Yes.

And then water, sparkling, popped on some bread, chips and salsa from gardens of Taxco.

Yes, correct.

Starter, eggplant palm from la capania

in capri main course garlic shrimp from gardens of taxco also side dish rattouille from cocoote

drink

scrip scrappino scrappino yeah well dessert the sunday on a plane butterscotch sunday on a plane with the bridesmaids cast and the plane is not a normal plane it's a set plane on a film exactly with with smoke blowing past the window

which could be ed vaping at the window yeah yeah yeah that's fine yeah i'll vape at the window I would prefer that, actually.

Only bubblegum flavoured.

That's a great menu.

That's fantastic.

It's so balanced as well.

Like, I could actually, I could see myself eating that menu from the beginning to the end, yeah, and feeling good about it.

Well, it's kind of two countries come together.

You got Mexico over here, and you got Italy over here, and a little bit of America thrown in the middle.

And the Sunday's a lovely way to round off, I think.

Yeah, I know.

Who's not happy when they're having a Sunday, really?

I mean, most people like hot fudge, and fair enough.

I can't have chocolate because I can't have caffeine.

So

I go crazy.

I get very excited whenever, like,

you're at a table, there's a lot of people, and usually, when it's my family, and someone has the idea of ordering Sundays and having Sundays, and everyone's got them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's when I like it the most.

I don't actually like it if I'm the only one with a Sunday.

That's a lot of focus on you.

Yeah.

But if we've all got them and we're all eating our Sundays, that's good stuff.

So we'll order some for the whole Brainsmaids cast.

There you go.

Excellent.

Have you ever walked down the street eating an ice cream cone?

People's like just seeing the faces of people come towards them like like double takes and like people go crazy like everybody then wants yeah yeah an ice cream cone it's sort of the most i don't know viral kind of uh dessert you can't spread spreads like a yawn exactly i don't think i can walk down the street with an ice cream cone anymore because if i bump into people who listen to this podcast they just laugh their heads off that they're seeing me eating ice cream in public i did it in seattle i got a money moons which is like some of the best ice cream i have ever had yeah monny's in seattle and i had three massive scoops he sent me a a picture.

It was insane.

So Ed, Ed thought a baby was holding it because of how small my hand looked

at this homemade waffle cone.

It was like humongous.

But the whole thing was incredible.

But I walked from there back to my hotel, which is a two-hour walk to like, you know, while eating this ice cream, but bumped into someone who knew the podcast and they could not stop laughing.

Of course.

Seeing me with this massive kind of cone of ice cream that was like...

You see me walking through the street with a cheese board.

that would make me very angry

paul thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant thank you for having me on it's been an honor thank you

thank you very much to paul fig for coming in very exciting to have him james is hammered now

i'm drunk

i'm less drunk because you might have heard that um paul spilt some uh he spit one of the drinks he knocked and spilled half of and that's the one i got given so i feel pretty good right now it gave me an idea because I definitely felt a little bit of a buzz there oh you always get the buzz and I thought man those dukes

those dukes ones that we hear so much about

I can see how that would yeah that could be the case now because I thought one martini this will be fine no by the end I was saying I made ice cream for Kevin Bacon

absolutely loved that bit I loved all of it what a lovely chat and also It's very odd that he didn't say bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant.

Strange.

I thought he would have taken the opportunity to promote one of his films and chose bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant, but he did not.

He did not.

So luckily we got to talk to him for his whole menu, which I thought was very good.

It's a delicious menu.

The cocktail was delicious that he made us.

So make sure you pick up a copy of Cocktail Time by Paul Feig.

So you can make those cocktails yourself at home.

And get, you know, if you're looking for a gin, art in stalls.

Get art installs, man.

That was a delicious gin.

It was.

It was very nice indeed.

Great for you, Catini.

Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu podcast.

We will see you again next week.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

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Last summer, a sizzling group of islanders lit up the villa.

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But all left with lifelong friends.

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Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast, that's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut.

from the Stephen Graham episode so they can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims, and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok, at Off Menu Podcast, on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes.

So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.