Ep 189: Róisín Murphy

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised go to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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Welcome to the off-menu podcast.

Taking the coffee grounds of humor, putting it in the

tap bit.

You know, difficult when you don't know

the specifics.

Off my depth, putting coffee in a tap.

No, you know, like an espresso machine.

Yes.

You know, that you put it in a thing, don't you?

But what's the thing called?

I know that you tamp it down.

So I was going to say tamp it down

with friendship.

Yes.

With the paddle of friendship.

Yep.

But what's the thing, the spout?

There's a little spout in the...

You put it in, don't you?

And then you tamp it down, the coffee, and then you click it into the espresso machine, and then the water goes over it, and you make espresso.

Yes.

That's what I was going to say.

I've got a pod machine.

I'll do that.

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast.

Taking the coffee pod of humor, putting it in the espresso machine of the internet, putting the cup of good times below it and having a lovely cup of pod coffee.

The classics.

The classics.

That's it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

This is the Off Menu Podcast.

We own a dream restaurant.

We invite a guest in every single week, ask them their favourite ever start a main course dessert, cider shan drink.

Not in that order.

And this week, our guest is...

Rosheen Rosheen Murphy.

Rosheen Murphy.

Brilliant musician, James.

I mean, yo, when I was a lad,

you're still a lad.

I'm still a lad come on Miloco was the group that Rosheen was in fantastic group and now a flow an amazing uh solo career

which uh which for me like i'm a i'm a big fan she's so loco i own quite she's gotten so loco solo that is amazing yeah how has no one said that before unbelievable rosine murphy but i mean you know people know that i love 2016 greatest shift music of all time uh take her up to monto was released that year by rosheen murphy you know experimental eccentric electronic pop music.

Absolutely love it.

With every album, she approaches it from a different perspective, different genre, reinventing herself constantly.

Can't wait to see what she does next.

Can't wait to see what flavor of Rosheen Murphy we get on this podcast.

Very good, James.

Thank you.

What flavor of Rosheen Murphy we're going to get on this podcast?

You never know.

Very excited.

I'm a little bit intimidated having Rosheen on the pod.

But all that being said, as with all our guests, if Rosheen says a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have, with a heavy heart, to kick her out of the podcast.

With a very heavy heart.

Very heavy heart.

And this week, the secret ingredient is

low-fat cheddar.

No thanks.

Listen, I think we've done every disappointing form of cheddar that there is.

Yes.

We're now arriving at low-fat cheddar.

I think you can go through all the previous episodes and you can probably deduce that we basically like a bit of flavor in our cheddar.

We want cheese to be cheese, please.

We don't want people to hold back.

And what is the point?

Please let my cheese be cheese, please.

Of having cheddar

if it's not got the goods in it.

It ain't going to melt properly if it's low-fat cheddar.

So we are going to put low-fat cheddar on it.

And this might be the last time that cheddar makes an appearance as a secret ingredient, but who knows?

They might come up with more bullshit versions of it and we'll be forced to put them on.

Throw them on the fire.

But if you throw low-fat cheddar on the fire, nothing happens.

So, Roshine Murphy, if you do say low-fat cheddar, we are going to kick you out.

Apologies.

Bye-bye, Roshin.

Low-fat cheddar comes to us courtesy of david leask on twitter oh the leaskster the leasker leask and potatoes

mate i was literally about to say that's so depressing yeah you were about to say leask and potatoes say leask and potato soup

i wonder if leask's partner if it if leask has a partner maybe they call potato his potatoes

or onions

or onions leask and onions leask and onions would also work i mean i guess we'd have to leask

and onkions or something.

Onios.

Yeah, yeah, you'd have to switch it around a bit.

Yeah, least and onions.

But Lis, why don't you tweet the podcast and let us know if you've got a special someone in your life and if their surname is also a dish?

This is the off-menu menu of Rosheen Murphy.

Welcome, Rosheen, to the dream restaurant.

Oh, thanks for having me.

Welcome, Rocheen Murphy, to the dream restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

I'm starving, lads.

Come on, let's get on with it.

That's what we like.

That's the attitude we like in the dream restaurant.

You got a quiche on the way.

Yeah.

I've got a quiche, quiche Lorraine.

It's a good thing to get the food, actual food, ordered as opposed to the dream food, because it's a tricky record if you're hungry and there's no food coming.

Because the dream food

doesn't exist, does it?

The dream food doesn't exist only in our minds, minds,

which we've a lot of times we've screwed ourselves over by talking for an hour, hour and a half about food and then just having nothing afterwards and just sat there starving.

Yeah, yeah, it was just crying and whimpering to each other and wishing we'd ordered a quiche lean like you've had the foresight to do.

Do you get hungry?

Is that something you get?

Yeah, I get, I mean, I love food, you know.

In fact, it was quite hard for me to choose these

courses.

And when I rang my husband, he's not really my husband but i call him that um bit of a laugh and

yeah we've been together a long time so he's italian and he's got he's brilliant cook and all that so he knows a lot about food and i rang him and i was like what am i going to say and he said well tell them that because you're with uh a millennes

person you know that you like classic things

um which i do you know and of course keish lorraine is a classic essentially what I'm translating what your husband said.

It was essentially, don't show me up.

Yeah, I do like mad stuff as well.

I mean, I went the other day to a Peruvian fusion place in Ibisa, and that was very, very, very, very nice.

Nice.

But you're not allowed to say that because he's told you you should only say classics.

Classic.

The classics.

And the classics are what?

Quiche Lorraine, hot dog.

Yeah.

Well, we do like it.

Yeah, we love a hamburger.

Yeah.

But that's not what I've chosen today.

Okay, good.

Little clue.

No classic hamburgers today.

I like eating a quiche Lorraine.

I hate the name.

Yes, it is rather sort of housewife-ish, isn't it?

Yeah, it feels 70s sort of

good housekeeping magazine.

Do we know why it's called that?

Lorraine Kelly?

No, it's not Lorain, but Lorraine Kelly.

Come on.

I think in a French accent, it sounds better.

Quiche Lorraine.

Yeah, it's the.

I'm not going to try.

I mean, to be honest, we don't know.

Maybe it is.

Is it French or Quiche Lorraine?

I think probably.

I'm assuming

Quiche is French, you know?

Quiche Lorraine.

So that is

French.

So probably Lorraine Kelly isn't to do with it.

But we're not pulling that out completely, though.

That's a great.

It would be a pity, though, wouldn't it, if it wasn't anything to do with Lorraine Kelly here?

I feel like maybe it used to be called something else and then she bought the rights, maybe.

Maybe it's because she's called Lorraine because she likes Quiche Lorraine.

She's named after the Quiche Lorraine.

Yeah.

As a baby, she was eating Quiche Lorraine quite a lot.

But she wasn't even called Lorraine to begin with, and then she just ate so much quiche Lorraine.

Maybe she was conceived in a Gail's bakery.

Could be.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd call her Gail.

If that happened.

Yeah, good point.

Yeah, that'd be weird.

Good point.

Yeah.

I feel like the first thing to go for would be Gail, actually.

Yeah, you could do that.

What is in a quiche Lorraine?

Bacon and...

eggs.

And your classic eggs.

And a bit of cheese.

Nice.

That's what makes it.

That's a good mixture, isn't it?

Is it a Lorraine?

Because there's bacon in it.

Yeah.

If there's no bacon in it, is it no longer a Lorraine?

No, it's just a cheesy quiche.

Cheesy quiche.

No fancy name for that one.

Cheesy quiche.

Fair enough.

It's more of a gale.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you like the classics.

Also, you've released some classic music.

Is that fair to say, Roche?

Brilliant link.

That's good, right?

Yeah.

Do you think that was good?

A good link.

I loved it, yeah.

Because you must have done a lot of it.

Timeless, timeless.

Timeless.

A lot of interviews about your music, spoken to a lot of people

and the links are often the hardest bit but I think we've absolutely smashed you've nailed it mate yeah thank you I mean your music is pretty I mean what I like about your your music your albums and your songs is that

it it it feels very of the time very now but you're pulling from loads of different eras all the way through and you're not necessarily like your music could sit in any era i think like from that you're not necessarily just doing what everyone around you is doing no no

and mirroring the scenes that are going on now so no i follow my own my own sort of of heart.

When I make music, I don't do it for any particular market or, you know, it's all just coming from what I'm passionate about in that moment.

Yeah, I mean, when I look back on, I've got quite a big catalogue now.

There's a lot of albums, including the Moloco albums, obviously, and my own.

And when I look back, I'm very proud of them.

And I think they all sort of stand the test of time in their own way.

And so does the food that I'm just about to choose.

you mentioned moloko when i was at school um did you know david pack

david pack no he was in my school year he was in my year why would i know well i'm just checking but like david pack was in my my year of school and where everyone would sing bring it back david pack

would always do it always do it

you've never told me i know how that feels poor david i do know how that feels i have a friend in in a beta that just always has to bring up sing it back every time we have a few drinks.

And everybody groans, like, and she starts singing it.

Sylvia, shout going out.

Yeah,

you must be used to having that sung at you.

Probably more than David Pack, I'd say.

I don't know what David Pack's up to these days.

I haven't kept in touch with him.

I hope he's a listener or someone listening to this knows David Pack.

I feel for you, David.

And can check what he's up to and make sure you sing that song to him.

Well,

he should come on the show.

We'll get him on the party.

Talk about food when he eats all his food.

He becomes a full pack.

Yeah, yeah.

David pack's doing these days i didn't know him that well i i only really knew him there's lots of jokes you could make about a name like yeah for sure oh there was loads but all we did pack backpack yeah

backpack bring it back pack bring it back pack we should have said that

it's too

david pack to it

but yeah we'll get onto your food choices instead it's not about the kids that i went to school with although uh it's a shame though when you think about it now that they're all snowflakes and they wouldn't make up such a horrible thing to yeah snowflake kill

yeah, not bullying each other, kind in there, yeah,

disgusting, so kind.

I mean, the David Pack one was, yeah, I think that'd still go on now.

That's harmless.

Who's that hurting?

Yeah, yeah, him.

Yeah, well,

he loved it, David Pack, from what I remember.

Yeah, dancing along.

Yeah, David Pack was quite popular, so he was all right.

Yeah, did you have any fun songs that you used to sing at school?

Nope, nope.

Oh, yeah, they used to sing when I first came to the UK.

So, some very funny people in school used to say, Oh,

you're in the IRA.

Wow.

Wow, yeah.

Yeah.

So that's a, I mean, that's a.

Which, of course, I wasn't.

No.

And nobody belonged to me was, funnily enough.

No.

So every time you make a new album, are you always thinking, it's better than the last one?

Or are you doing something different every time?

Always, always thinking chances are this is going to be the best one I ever did.

Yeah.

Does that mean you don't think your 2016 album, Take Her Up to Monto, is your best album?

Or the best album?

I did at the time, you know, and then and then you move on and you're like, no, I can even do it better.

I can go better.

To keep moving forward, you have to do that.

Of course, none of them are better than the other ones in a way, you know, it's just they're different.

And I am in a brilliant position to make different records because I'm not in a band with the same like three people, four people for the last 25 years.

You know, I move on and I work with different collaborators.

And so that always gives me something fresh and new impetus and

new ideas and a new flavor, you know, every time.

Can you give us a sneak peek about what you're working on at the minute?

I have finished my next record that I worked with a guy called DJ Coase

on.

And so it's all written and produced with him.

And it's the best one I've ever made, obviously.

We always start with still a sparkling water on the pot.

Do you have a preference?

Sparkling, as they say in Ireland.

Sparkling.

Yeah, get your mouth around that word.

give it a sparkling

sparkling

i've been watching the crown and i can speak quite wash now do they often order i'm not up to date with the crown do they often order sparkling water in the crown sparkling sparkling darling

do give me some sparkling this is great it's a shame they're not making it anymore i think you'd be a shoe-in for i don't know they left it open now there could be another one yeah that'll be enough one at some point mummy Oh, duh.

I've been going around speaking to my children like this and I've really freaked them out.

How do they feel about that when you suddenly start speaking like a member of the royal family and saying sparkling over and over again?

I should say they're rather perturbed.

I mean, I've never seen the crown.

Oh, it's brilliant.

Yeah.

It's about the royal family, James.

Yeah.

That's what puts me off.

It's so good.

Oh, a bunch of wankers, though.

Every family's got

a family.

I think that's just universal in that.

Every family's a bunch of wankers.

They've all got some black sheep out of every family, haven't they?

They've all got a few roggins.

A few more skellies in the closet for the old royals.

Yeah, I'd say so.

But who knows?

Who out of all the royal family do you think is most likely to have drunk the most sparkling water?

They probably don't drink sparkling water, do they?

I do not think.

No, I don't know.

It's quite a sort of a lot of foreign people do that,

rather than Italians and French.

They would think that.

What do you think the royal family would drink?

Would it be still or would it be something like...

I should think it'd be still.

I think it would be like the blood of the working classes

I'd give them a break on bit on the nose James

Jesus plus you can't only drink blood you'd have to wash it down with something now and again wouldn't you they drink blood yeah yeah that's how they live so long I can't believe

after the hunt yeah after the hunt with all this time this is the this is the moment you choose to sort of go in a David Icke direction

yeah

and the lizards I didn't say they were lizards no I didn't say it.

You don't get me there.

I didn't say anything.

Okay, so, I mean, here's another question for you.

This is just completely separate.

Do you think a lizard would drink sparkling water?

Yes.

Yes.

They'll drink anything.

Yeah.

Why do you like sparkling?

Oh, I, especially that vichy one, you know, so I like a little bit sort of salty

and I like the,

you know, that it cuts the, let's say, dirt off of your tongue and your mouth before you start eating you know it gets the palate ready why you got such a dirty tongue dirty tongue i want you now

what's that popping i was going to go into a song there now oh i can't wait until that's until you release dirty tongue as a single and everyone knows where it came from

we had a a kid in my school called john tongue and we used to sing that to him oh here we go with the kids at school

he was lucky to get away with that actually he was yeah his third tongue.

So you got a dirty tongue?

Well, I think we all do, don't we, really?

After a few hours in the day, you know.

And yeah, sparkling water does feel like it's, and we've talked about this before, but it does feel like the inside of a washing machine on an advert sometimes.

It's just sort of taking all the grime off the sparkling water.

The bubbles are attacking all the dirt on the tongue.

The dishwasher.

Yeah.

Fantastic stuff, it is.

Yeah, it's good.

And you like Vichy, do you?

Yes, yeah.

What's that?

I don't think I've had that.

It's like the Spanish one.

Really, really good.

Apparently, yeah, I mean, I listened to some podcasts also about about water will self made a podcast about water of course he did did he a series of podcasts actually wasn't just even one and that ended up being his favorite as well and yeah he spoke to people who were somelia of water which there is such a thing nowadays could you see yourself getting into the water scene that much would you would you be able to converse with a sommelier of water and not find the whole thing a bit silly possibly not yeah i feel like you're a you're a bit too no-nonsense for that.

That's the vibe I'm getting already.

Will Self's whole life is making sure that he looks smart, though, right?

So, like, when he's talking to a sommelier of water, he's like, come on, Will, you can do this.

Don't get bored.

Most people would get bored and bail out of this conversation.

But if you stick to this, everyone will think you're really clever.

No, he was being very wry.

Yes, he's very wry.

He's a wry guy.

He's a wry guy.

Would you drink sparkling water on stage while you're performing?

Hell to the no-no, no.

That's a still, still time.

You wouldn't want to get bubbles kind of caught in your throat while you're singing.

No, I guess so, but it might give you a different sort of tone to the voice.

Maybe you could.

Maybe that's something to try on the next album if you want to make it a little bit different.

Just chug a load of sparkling water before you record it.

I'll just write that down.

Get the burps going and get the auto-tune on.

Yeah.

Some people will just do that.

Sounds great, actually.

Some people.

Experimental.

Sort of thing you'd like.

I would listen to that.

I'd listen to a burped auto-tune album.

I'm not ashamed to say.

DJ Burpee.

Yeah.

Pop-doms or bread.

Pop-a-doms or bread, Roshine Murphy.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Jesus.

You're frightening me.

You actually played it very cool immediately, let him finish and then went, you frightened me there.

Yeah, you frightened me.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Yes.

On the table of this magical

meal that we're having.

Yes, what would you like before your meal?

I wouldn't be having pop-a-doms unless it's Indian food.

Because, you know, it's a dream meal.

If you want to mix things up and you feel like having a pop-a-dom before

you classify, just like with your music routine, there's no rules

in the dream restaurant.

I do like popadoms, I have to say, but and I love Indian food, but I think I'd have bread with this meal.

And even saying that, one has to try and be very disciplined with the bread at the beginning of the meal.

Because if you eat loads of bread and then you have a fantastic meal come and you're full with the bread.

Is that something you have to do?

Do you have to restrain yourself from the bread?

We all do, don't we?

Some people are a universal thing.

Some people are very controlled, you know.

Some people won't have the bread.

Some people will just have a little nibble and they'll be fine.

But yesterday I was out for lunch with the rest of the Gamble family and they brought bread round and we all had a slice of bread.

Then the breadman came back round, another slice of bread.

Then the breadman came back round again.

We'd had a whole loaf by the time the meal started.

Yeah, yeah, it's not good.

And I love butter.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, I love butter.

Any particular type of butter?

What's the dream butter that's arriving at the table for you?

Irish.

Yeah.

Kerrygold, we're talking here.

Maybe, I mean, kerrygold, there's nothing wrong with a bit of kerrygold.

You always try and push our Irish guests into saying kerrygold, James.

I just think it's become a thing on the pod.

Become a thing on the pod.

It has to be grass-fed.

Yeah.

You know, dairy has to be grass-fed.

So, yeah, Irish butter would always be, would always be grass-fed because that's all we have in Ireland is grass.

Just grass.

So much grass, it's unbelievable.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

So we don't even need to put grass-fed onto our dairy because there is no such other thing.

Can you tell the difference in the taste, whether it's grass-fed or not i don't think i eat anything else you wouldn't need to i wouldn't need to tell the difference do you think ireland will ever run out of grass no never never ever never it's our thing yeah yeah i hope so i hope you're right it would be a sad day it would be a sad day what would you feed the cows on there are areas there are areas of ireland in the west where there's more rocks than grass

now and they're not great but the butter from that place is crunchy as hell okay it was down on do you go past giants causeway and go

yeah no grass here No grass in Giants Causeway.

Why is that as a tourist attraction?

The idea of you mentioned that

butter from a cow that's been fed on butter.

Yes.

Surely that's the butteriest butter that you could possibly have.

It's so buttery.

Butter from a cow that's been fed on butter.

Yeah.

It sounds very wrong.

I don't know.

If someone told me, it's this restaurant and they got the best butter because the cows are fed exclusively on butter.

On their own butter as well.

On their own, each other's butter, the cow to the left.

That sounds twisted.

I'm even past the butter to the left.

side.

Thank you for doing that.

This sounds great.

Is it like a type of bread in particular, like a particular Irish bread or just like a general, general bread that you're into?

I'm generally mad about bread.

Yeah.

I have to say, bread is lovely, isn't it?

Yeah.

Should we, I mean, this is a dream restaurant.

Would you like a bread basket which contains every bread in the world?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like German selections of bread.

They do great selection.

They have all kinds of like grains and colours of bread and all that sort of stuff.

But I do, you know, obviously love good sourdough.

Yes.

Just like most people.

Sure, the classics.

We're talking the classics here,

and you were sticking to what you said at the start.

You're in the classics.

You've got sourdough.

No one can fault you on that.

I like this idea of a German selection, though.

Some of that dark rye bread, that sort of stuff.

Maybe we bring a German basket, Jay.

What have they got?

They've got the lot.

what have they got they've got the lot now

or what have they got

they have got zelot that's good you have to say that james when you bring the bread what have they got they've got the lot

yeah russian you're very good at accents yeah yeah you know it yeah yeah it's kind of close to singing you know mimicry yeah

fair enough i'm good at accents as well james so are you right yes we'll we're all very good at accents down here yeah let's all pat each other on the back then yeah pretty good to the left left-hand side.

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You're all set for a nail glow-up.

Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

Your dream starter.

Right, well, I'm going to go sort of like two starters, okay?

So I'm going to have, to open the stomach, I shall have courgette flowers.

Oh, nice.

Lovely.

Is this the first shout-out for courgette flowers on the book?

The first courgette flowers shout-out we've had on our show.

Oh, God, when they're done well.

Stop.

Yeah.

So good.

So they're nice and crisp.

Are they

fried?

Yes, crispy.

With anything in the flowers?

Are the flowers stuffed?

Yes.

What are we talking?

Ricotta.

Yes.

I can't remember the first time I had those, but it blew my mind.

Yeah, they're amazing.

And they're kind of like so delicate, you know, the batter has to be so delicate and it has to be just so in and out of the fry.

Yeah, it's good.

And then I've been eating courgettes for years.

And then you think, why have I been buying all these courgettes with no flowers on the end?

Yeah, where do you get the flowers?

Yeah.

They should sell the courgettes with the flowers on the end it's not that most people couldn't cook that though

including myself to be honest actually i wouldn't try that i'd end up eating the flowers raw yeah that's what you would do yeah yeah yeah that's what it does epi valentine's so nice about it you know the

flour and stuffed and dipped in and out of the fry oh so good i've had them drizzled in honey before yeah that's a classic that's

within the classic terracotta yes yes yeah do you want the honey yeah maybe yeah maybe at least one of them has a drizzle of honey on it

we can we can bring you a drizzle pot yeah bring you a drizzle drizzle it off let's have it

how many flowers you want a bouquet well seeing as i'm going to have two starters not too many maybe three a mini bouquet yeah

um so what's this other starter then because we don't have this double starter here well it's not that it's a double starter but you know In Italian, you'd go with like a pasta dish as a starter or a rice dish.

And I'm going to go with risotto milanese, which is the risotto with the saffron.

So, this is from where your husband's

from Milan, yeah.

I liked it before I met him, though.

Yeah, so he didn't get your big into it.

Saffron's very expensive.

I have got expensive taste, yeah.

You know, by the by the weight, it's extremely expensive stuff.

What we're talking,

don't know, but I know it's dear.

You get a yellow tongue?

Not if it's done right, I don't think

You get a yellow tongue.

You need the sparkling water.

I had

it on its own once.

You what?

I just had saffron on its own once.

Why?

This is the sort of lifestyle that James is leading.

And what was that like?

It was backstage at a TV show.

They got a load of saffron for something.

I can't remember what it was.

And everyone was there.

It was a thing.

Let's all eat it on its own.

Let's go for it.

What's it like?

It's very

bit strong.

This is what people in the general public assume that people are doing backstage at TV shows.

They're using taxpayers' money to sit backstage at the BBC and eat saffron raw.

Yeah, and that's exactly what we were doing.

That's a disgrace.

Yeah, this is a disgrace.

Yeah.

And

may I just, you know, reiterate my hatred for the royal family

and the way that they live their lives.

Sit backstage eating saffron and whittling on a picture of our king.

Yeah, yeah.

That's disgraceful.

My bright yellow piss.

Did you say whiddling?

I said whiddling.

Not a fan?

That's quite an Irish sort of thing.

I've got some Irish blood knocking around.

Maybe the head on Who Do You Think You Are?

Go and have a whiddle.

That's bringing my childhood back, actually.

See an episode of Who Do You Think You Are with Ed on it, and they're like, now, we noticed you used the term whiddle earlier.

That got us thinking.

You're Irish.

Rather than just checking my lineage at all.

Is there anything behind this, guys?

A family tree or anything?

No.

We've just written the word whiddle on the other side.

We heard you say whittle.

And we're saying you're Irish.

So congratulations.

This was Otto.

Can we talk about it a bit more?

Because I know.

I had some the other day and that actually had a little bit of gold on it as well.

You know the way they put gold on it.

You've just got even more fancy than James.

That was super partial.

Yeah, I'll lying about any more.

It's unnecessary, though.

The saffron is enough, really.

About edible gold stuff, you can't taste it.

You can't taste it.

It's just to be fancy, isn't it?

Ridiculous.

While the world burns.

It's probably not even correct, really.

I had it in Madrid.

It's not in Milan.

so it's not it's not part of the classic and it's probably not part of the classic version of the dish but i'm a big fan of this um it's a little bit of a uh a loophole that people find in on this podcast whenever anyone utilizes the pasta course i do love it i am happy when people kind of go i want one of those other extra courses that you can have on a menu is saffron the the main flavoring in there or is there is there cheese and stuff in there as well as it or is it just saffron and cheese in there yeah gotta be right maybe Maybe I'll just.

I don't know, actually.

In fact, maybe now I'm thinking about it.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes, tell me if this happens to you.

I'm eating something that normally has cheese in it and it doesn't have cheese in it, but my brain tells me there's cheese in it.

Yeah.

And that's how much this guy loves cheese.

I think with

risotto, it's the way you cook it that gives you that glutenism.

You know, that's glutenism.

Is that all right?

Is that right?

No, glutinous.

Yeah, glutenism, yeah.

Yeah, glutenism.

Glutenism.

That's good.

Yeah, because you add the stock slowly, right?

And then just cook it.

And it takes

the gluten out of the rice.

And that's what gives you the sexiness.

Is that what you look for in a dish?

You want it to be sexy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I want everything to be sexy.

That's fair enough.

That's a fair request, I think.

I don't think I want everything to be sexy.

What do you not want to do?

But men wouldn't, really.

It'd be uncomfortable for them.

I'd be knackered.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because a bonus?

Awkward.

Is that what you mean?

Yes.

I think it is what she meant, yeah.

Mom was clarifying.

Yeah.

It might be a bit awkward.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just imagine waking up in the morning and being like, oh, sexiness starts straight away.

Just don't be sexy again.

No, I know what you mean.

I think I might have to agree with that.

You just want things to be normal.

Yeah, that's fair enough.

Yeah.

You want you want it, like, also, how do you know if things are sexy if everything's sexy?

Yeah.

Good point.

You have to have like

things that are not sexy.

Yes.

But in foods, okay, food's spaced out enough throughout the day that you can have that be sexy.

Yeah.

Yes.

I don't want a sexy breakfast, for example.

No, why not?

not i just well depends on the scenario doesn't it really what would be a sexy breakfast yeah i guess it's about the surroundings right as well but maybe um shakshuka that's sexy that's a sexy breakfast

it sounds onomatopoeically it sounds like a wank i guess oh for god's sake this is a disgrace nobody told me this was going to be like this in here you you brought up

You brought up sexiness.

I was just trying to...

Yeah, but sexiness is, you know, you can talk about sexiness in a subtle way.

You can't talk about anything in a subtle way, obviously.

This is not normally what he's like, Rasheen.

I'll be honest.

It's normally my job to be like this.

I'm just trying.

I'm just trying to.

Say shakshuka sounds like a wank.

Traditional Turkish idea.

I don't matter.

That's something Will Self would say.

That's quite smart.

But that, you know what that means?

Huh?

You know what that means?

Sounds like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're saying.

It sounds like a wank.

You're saying that when you.

Excuse me, Rashine.

When you wank it, when you wank it, it sounds.

Shuga shuga, shuga, shuga.

Shuga, shuka, shuga.

I'm so glad I can visualise all this.

Sorry.

Ashamed of myself now.

This saffron in this risotto sounds delicious.

Yes.

I'm not sure I've had this risotto before.

It's a bobby dazzler.

Yeah.

It really is.

I think it's fantastic.

It's a classic of classics.

Yeah.

Well, both of these things sound delicious so far.

So I think we move on to the best.

Despite your best efforts, James.

We've been so sophisticated.

I've engaged with all of these.

I'll talk about the classic season.

Hey, if Wankin isn't a classic, someone let me know.

Because I think it's the original classic, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess so, mate.

Yeah.

You can quote me on that.

It's timeless, let's put it that way.

Wankin is the original classic.

Isn't it timeless?

Dream main course.

I might be inclined to order a steak tartare as a main course in this situation wow this is a this is a big move because it often comes as a starter but on menus sometimes you see it as the starter price out in the main yeah yep rarely see people go for it for the main but what a great choice oh god i love it with a bit of egg as well and the pickle and then of course you're going to ask me about the side and the classic is to have french fries with that.

So your dream side would be the French fries with the steak tartare.

Do you want it made table side where they come and they've got all the stuff and you can pick what you want and then they do it in front of you oh yeah i like that yeah it's great there's a few places

i've not seen that with the steak tartare at pretty old school restaurants they do that they bring a little trolley along and they've got all the like the cornichons and mustard and all of that and shallots and they can do it all in front of you and mix it up to your

yeah yeah that's what happens cornichons they're nice

those are pickles you're thinking of yeah let's have them thrown in and all this is great do you want in i mean this is the dream restaurant obviously normally it would just be sort of pushed together in in a circle or whatever would you like it in any particular shape we can put it in like a jelly mold and make it into your dream shape for the steak tartare yep

should we have some sort of brutalism shape perhaps in the shape of the barbican oh oh i love it

yeah yeah steak tartare steak star barbican no

no doesn't work never mind no steak bar bar steak bar barbican yeah but then if you say steak bar bar i'm thinking of bar bar the elephant or Alibaba.

Yeah.

Barbara Black Sheep.

Yeah.

The three Barbaras.

Edward Barber.

Of course.

Went to school with him.

Not another one.

Genuinely did.

Okay.

Little songs and main songs about him.

Barbara the Elephant.

Yeah.

I went to the Barbican recently to see my neighbour Totoro.

Yeah.

Exquisite.

Was it?

Oh, it's amazing.

Absolutely brilliant.

When I was in there, I wasn't thinking much about steak tartare, if I'm honest.

No.

No.

Also, I love eggs, you know, lads.

I'm a big egg lover.

Yeah, I just love eggs.

People are weird about raw egg, but in that scenario,

a raw egg yolk ended up in a steak tartare.

Got to have it.

Is that your favorite way to have egg?

Is in the steak tartare?

Or are there ways that you're like...

I just love all kinds of eggs.

Eggs are my favorite.

They pop up in my work a lot.

I mean, in my videos and things like that.

Boiled eggs.

Obviously, that's a very surreal image somehow.

and i was brought up on boiled eggs you know i had two boiled eggs every single morning before going to school did you now i did yeah what did that do to you i think it made me quite strong yeah it'd be quite strong and my mother ignored advice that was being given and just simply couldn't accept that that amount of eggs was bad for anybody which we were being told at that time in the 80s they were when you were going to you know i think what's it saying cholesterol or something yeah and then that turned out to be that my mother was right yeah yeah it's a great way to start the day it's like your mother wanted you to be a bodybuilder yeah I think it's good for your brain you know going to school as well on a boiled egg or two is

is good it's super good are you imagining Rosine on the egg going to school going

flying along on the egg

I think it's funny

being the smartest kid in class because you had two boiled eggs that morning there is nothing more perfect than a boiled egg that is done to the turn you know, just still runny, but that the white is nice and solid.

Yeah, were you dipping?

Were you dipping soldiers?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

See, I just go, I go with straight egg now.

No, you don't.

I wouldn't do the red toast.

I just can happily just eat.

I'll go straight in.

Oh, no, it's the combination.

It's not so much the bread as the butter on the bread.

Yeah.

Would you ever consider just completely peeling the egg and then buttering that egg and then eating it?

No.

Strangely not.

No, I don't think anyone's ever

Might get a bit messy, no?

In one.

Have you never done an egg in one?

I've done an egg in one.

Yeah.

I'll try it later.

No, I haven't.

It's strangely.

I haven't tried to do that.

But I love it all.

I love scrambled eggs.

I love omelets.

I love poached eggs.

You know, I mean, eggs are just the best, you know, the best, most convenient, wonderful food out there.

I agree with you.

I love eggs.

I reckon I do 12 eggs a week.

I went to to call you Ed then and then

called in Ed.

But

Ed has criticised me on this podcast before for liking scrambled eggs.

He's called me a child.

Asked me if I'm a toddler.

Well, okay.

What do you think about this?

On a full English or full Irish breakfast?

No.

What eggs are you having?

No, you're not going to have scrambled.

Scrambled are to be nice with smoked salmon.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I agree with that.

That's not childish.

Also,

you can lightly put in cream cheese before you do the scrambled egg, you've done that.

Nice.

I've not had it with cream cheese, but I've done it with sour cream sometimes.

Yeah.

And then even just a bit of milk will do it as well.

A little bit of truffle.

Yeah, I love that.

On top of the scrambled egg.

That's going to be nice.

But on a full breakfast,

fried eggs.

And absolutely no baked beans.

Anywhere near that breakfast.

Yes.

This is absurd.

It's completely wrong.

That's one of my main political viewpoints.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, mine too.

We're going to get along.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, ignoring him

because these bean people as well, they always you're you probably like this, put it in a separate ramekin, they can't even stand by the food that they like, no, because

yeah, well, at least it's in the separate ramkin, you know, because you don't want to mix it up with your eggs,

leave it in the tin, disgusting.

I'll only have fried eggs in sandwiches and stuff and like with other things, and I can press the sandwich together, and then it all loses out the sides, and I've got the fried eggs.

yeah.

I don't really like it on a fryer, that's a sexy breakfast.

Oh, it's the first thing to go on my fry-up plate is the eggs, they go because I don't know, I just love dipping all the other stuff into the egg.

Okay, and of course, Irish breakfasts are the best fried breakfasts in the world, and we call them a grill because we don't fry them, we grill most of it.

Take us through, yeah, we haven't seen anyone do this-the classic Irish grill.

Uh, well, the sausages, obviously, best sausages in the world in Ireland, no,

no, they're not.

But they're great in that context.

And the bacon is the bacon.

You know, it's like the English bacon.

It's a little bit wrong for many people who are used to sort of the drier, streaky bacon thing.

We have the real sort of like lumps of bacon.

Yeah.

And they're a bit wet and all that sort of stuff.

But you have to have it with this kind of context.

And then the real clincher, I suppose, with the Irish breakfast is the puddins.

Yeah.

The black pudding and the white pudding.

We've tried to work this out before.

I think I know what black pudding is.

What's white pudding?

It's just more or less black pudding, but it's got more bread in it.

Great.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And grain, some sort of grain stuff and what have you.

I love Dal Haggis as well, I have to say.

Absolutely.

I'm getting hungry.

My mouth is watering.

I can tell.

You're looking at Ed and he's turning into a massive quiche.

This was the other problem when I spoke to my

Obi Samby when I spoke to him about it.

I was like, what am I going to say?

He says, I don't know because you like everything.

That's good.

That's what we like.

You're almost going to be disappointed with the quiche Lorraine now, I think.

If you're hyping yourself up for black pudding, white pudding, and haggis.

Yeah.

It's got egg in it at least.

Yeah.

It's so good though.

I love it.

Haggis is lovely.

I like everything.

Even blood.

You love blood.

It's the blood.

Yeah.

That's why you like the royal family.

Because I took that every morning.

And now you're one of them.

I knew it, Roshi.

I knew it.

Yeah, black pudding, I guess.

If the Royal Family are eating black pudding, then you're right.

Yeah.

They are eating from the pudding pudding.

Made from people.

They're from blood.

Yeah.

They're eating black pudding.

Maybe from people.

And from people blood.

Yeah.

And your side is the chips or French fries.

Come on, chips at this point.

No, French fries.

You want them to be skinny and crispy?

Not too skinny, not those straw.

They call them straw fries, don't they?

Those ones.

Not too much, no.

You want French fries, like the real thing.

Like McDonald's proportions, but not from McDonald's.

Tiny bit bigger than that.

A tiny bit bigger than that.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Where's the best fries that you've had?

Probably in French, in France, in Paris.

They just call them fries there?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're just calling fries there, yeah.

Maybe.

Frit.

Yes, frites.

From frites.

What sort of size portion do you want?

Well, yeah, I'm keeping them.

You know, I'm taking it fairly handy, as they say, don't they, with the amounts so far?

So I could probably have a fair few.

I've never heard that, taking it fairly handy.

That's Irish, yeah.

I like it.

They're taking it handy,

Don't you say about that phrase what I think you're going to say about that phrase?

No.

I'm not going to talk about Shatshuka again.

Don't worry.

Don't worry, guys.

I'm on my best behavior.

Whenever I learn a new Irish phrase, I love it.

Yeah.

Anytime, when Ashton B started, referring to the whole audience as lads all the time, I remember being like, brilliant.

My lads.

Yeah, absolutely great.

You've got a favourite Irish phrase?

Yoke.

When anything can be a yoke, a yoke is a yoke.

Like, if you can't think of the name of something, you call it a yoke.

I'm absolutely obsessed with that.

Listen, uh, we are

listening this is gonna make me sound like I've got a one-track mind.

Give me that yoke.

Show me that yoke here.

Shatshuka, that yoke, or whatever, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah, that actually, that actually makes perfect sense.

Yeah, what's up, mate?

This is gonna make me sound like I have a one-track mind, also, but it's not normally like this, honestly.

Damien Rice.

Don't know.

Who's that?

Are you kidding?

Is it a type of rice?

In this context, it could be.

It would make more sense if you were saying a type of rice.

In the food context, Damian Rice could be.

I'm just suggesting another side dish to you.

Damian Rice.

Damien Rice, singer-songwriter from Ireland.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Back in the day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like early 2000s or something.

Yeah, I don't know if that really is back in the day when you're talking about Irish singer-songwriters.

They've got quite a history of singer-songwriters, in Ireland.

Are you sure that's not the case?

He's the first one, was he?

You started it in 2005.

He's a good-looking fella from a few years ago.

Yes.

He did a...

I went to see him at Shepherd's Bush Empire.

Yes.

2005, whenever.

Back in the day.

Back in the day.

Yeah.

He did a song that wasn't on his album called Me, My Yoke, and I.

And he said, this is about when

I was a lad.

And every time I played with my yoke,

I would feel guilty.

So I'd have to then give money to charities afterwards.

Yeah, now I know this is gonna sound this sounds like all I talk about is wanking, yeah, but it is the only ever context I've heard someone use that term yoke, yeah, and that's all that that's the only term, that's the only context I have for it.

And it is an Irish singer-songwriter.

Well, just so you know, it can be absolutely anything, yeah.

So that's why he used some of the lads in Dublin, they're like, you know, when they go out like raven and have to take yokes, yeah,

but it goes back much further than that, yeah.

Irish people just call everything yolks, that's an out-yoke there.

Because if I heard

guys saying that in dublin i wouldn't assume drugs how many yolks did you have ioni yeah

half a yolk

i would assume they were just downing egg yolks to get energy for the night out yeah like rocky i would assume yeah

how many yolks did you have before the night out i wouldn't see if they were comparing how many wanks they'd had because from what from what i know about it Because this is why it's good that I've had this conversation with you, Roshim, because I've only ever heard Damian Rice talk about it in this context so if they were all saying to each other how many yokes did you have before you came out I had half a yoke I'd be like everyone's really quite sex positive here this is quite good actually it's rare but it's rare but sometimes you manage to get a double yoker yeah yeah and then I'll be like wow these guys but it's good that you said that and I know it can mean anything at all yeah

and uh and now now if I'm in Ireland and I hear people talking about yokes I won't always think like oh man what a crass conversation to be having so no well anything could be a yoke Unless you're setting us up for a horrible trip to Ireland, whatever.

Maybe.

Might be.

I've accustomed to.

I think you'll find I've got a few yokes.

You want to see my yoke, do you?

Yeah.

I had a few yokes on the plane.

What?

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Hi, who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?

Me?

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And that's why I created the Manny system.

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You're all set for a nail glow-up.

Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

Well, dream drink then.

Okay, well, now then, the other week I was out and I happened to be invited to a beautiful do that was hosted by Krug.

And

the whole meal we had different vintages, very special vintages of Krug.

That sounds amazing.

And to be honest with you, it worked with everything.

Mm-hmm.

It wasn't like champagne.

I don't think I know what this is.

It was more than champagne.

It was Krug.

It was like vintage Krug.

So it just worked like, and I didn't have that kind of hangover that you have from wine either.

But I suppose I'd have to have a glass of red wine with the steak tartare.

My sort of father-in-law, father of me fella,

has a vineyard in Gavi, in the Gavi region.

Oh, wow.

It's a young grape, you know, so it's quite a light red wine.

And the name of it is La Chiara.

And

the region is,

this is really boring for everyone isn't it?

No, this is all they love the details.

Okay, well the region is Ligiore.

I know I can't even say

you're doing so well with your accents earlier, Rashid.

Just say it's from Yoke.

It's from lovely yoke.

It's the Dolcetto grape, which is similar to Barbera.

Nice.

Have you ever just sat on the vineyard and like actually been there drinking wine together?

Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

that's the dream isn't it yeah it's got to be the best i know just that place as well you know you can actually

almost have a meal from things you can pick off the trees and the vines and amazing i mean in certain times of the year it's just so plentiful you know that place sounds incredible i mean look this this guy this your sort of husband can cook his father owns a vineyard you can see why he's you're just calling him husband now yeah you just gotta

lock that shit down.

It does, I think, well, I'll never be married, I don't think, guys.

I don't really like weddings.

First of all, I don't like chairs with bows on them and

forced fun.

Yeah, look,

I'm with you on the wedding stuff, but

my main problem isn't the chairs with the bows on them.

You know, I mean, really?

Yeah, yeah.

Chairs with bows and stupid chocolate fountains and things like that.

It doesn't do it for us.

I'm married and we ruled out chairs with bows immediately.

Yeah, good.

And they cost extra.

They do.

They cost extra.

I don't like forced fun.

I don't like organized parties.

I actually don't even like organized parties.

friend who had a big birthday party this this summer and she was stressed out for three weeks before you know he's not coming they're coming i'm gonna and and it's like oh god yeah it's not worth it yeah it didn't go in the end i guess and even even on the night she wasn't too happy with herself you know and usually she's always the life and soul of the party, type thing.

So, I'm a bit against all that sort of thing.

That's fine.

And then there's the idea of like,

now my dad's passed away, sadly, but I always said, So, so, hang on a minute, Mickey Murphy, right, is going to give me away, he's going to actually give, yeah, he's going to give me away to another fella, and then we're going to go backstage like and

sign a contract

for

this fella.

Get me from Mida.

It's insane.

You're very much viewing this through the prism of the music industry.

You just referred to backstage and signing a contract.

I was getting royalties on you still.

So, my dad represents

my dad represented me, and then I'm moving to another.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to get the lawyer to look over this contract.

Yeah, your music lawyer involved, but I mean, really, like, give me away.

Yeah,

hell no,

it's mad.

2022.

People are still being given away.

Shouldn't have invited you.

Given away.

No, no, no.

My dad used to always joke that, you know, because he actually got my mother by some miracle because she was like the best looking woman in Ireland and all.

And she actually had a neck and everything.

And

back in them days, not many people did.

in Ireland.

And fabulous pair of legs and all, you know?

And somehow he got her and he should have just been delighted with that.

But he used to always complain that he never got the dowry as well.

Because you're supposed to

give stuff to the man for taking the woman.

Yeah.

Wow.

But she had the neck.

She had the neck.

That's the dowry.

Yeah.

That's that sort of neck.

And long legs, you know,

with like a knee in between the bottom and the top.

What was the dowry that you got, Ed?

I didn't get a dowry.

What?

I don't need a dowry.

We were together for 11 years.

I think it was too late to ask for a dowry at that point.

I don't know.

You should have told me, man.

I was part of the groomsman.

I was one of part of your team.

I could have got, that's what we were there for.

Anything you need.

So if you just said to me, you need to sort out this dowry because I haven't got it, I would have gone to the...

You could have lobbied.

Yeah, I would have gone to the family and said, where's the dowry?

You had enough jobs on the day.

Yeah, I had a few jobs.

I was announcing the cakes.

A job that he invented.

You announced the cakes?

Yes.

How many cakes?

Four?

It was like a tower of cakes that were all different flavours.

And at no other wedding has this happened.

James invented a job for himself to announce all the different flavours.

What about wedding cakes?

Let's be honest.

They're rubbish.

No,

this was good cake.

Nobody eats it, though.

I bet you had a ton of it left, didn't you?

So the bottom layer, which was massive, there was a bit of that left.

The little layer at the top had all gone.

I'm livid.

It was the salted peanut cake.

With the brittle on it.

That had all gone.

That was disgusting.

Well, bad luck, Rachine, because you're never going to tell it.

And it was brilliant.

It was so delicious.

This wasn't like wedding cake.

This was like just properly nice cakes.

Yeah, but it wasn't that big, massive industrial size cake.

It's disgusting.

Well, I'm sorry.

I mean, you can have whatever you like.

I've flipped and I like weddings now.

Because, like,

when it comes to cake, I mean, earlier you said the chocolate fountain thing, and I let that slide.

But

a massive cake.

Come on.

It's a shame.

You're never going to get married.

You can have what you want.

You could have a big poached egg.

Of course.

Can everyone gather around and look a big slice of poached egg

so you're having the red wine but i'm having the krug as well and the krug yeah yeah that's cool yeah i would drink that krug

every day with everything

but i as i said before i do have very expensive tastes unfortunately i i am very luckily had a bottle of krug recently shared some with some friends and it's it's just another level it's a whole other thing yeah yeah it's crazy not familiar not familiar it's just a really nice champagne, but it's a...

It's not for scumballs, light.

You'll get a yellow tongue like this for me in a scumball.

Oh, saffron chops over here.

Come on, boy.

I have a friend who's Elaine Constantine.

She's a very, very famous, well-to-do photographer and filmmaker.

But I've known her for many, many years.

And her fella is Italian as well.

And we were out at some fancy Italian restaurant in London and they were ordering in Italian and all for us and everything.

And she turned around to me.

She's from Bury in Manchester.

And she turned around to me and she went, hey, Rosheen.

And she sort of hit me in the stomach with her elbow.

And she went, hey, haven't we done well for a couple of scumballs?

It's got to feel good.

So it did.

It felt good.

That was great.

That's what me and Ed say to each other every day before we come on this podcast.

Have we done well regardless in that accent as well?

Haven't we done well for a couple of scumbals?

So we arrive at your dream dessert.

Now, I'm a bit nervous going into this now because you've poo-pooed the chocolate fountains.

That sounds awful.

That would be the end of the party.

Get kicked out of my wedding video.

Okay, dessert.

I love sugary things.

Yeah, I love sweet things.

But not at the end of a big meal.

It's like hard, you know?

Do you know what I mean?

Like, because usually you're full by that point and you can't devour it and love it as much as you would in between a meal.

Yeah.

In between meals.

And shut up, you.

And

you're treading on very, very thin ice with James here.

He's a real dessert boy.

So you take it, obviously, in whatever direction.

Come on, I love desserts.

I'm just saying it's sometimes hard when you're looking at a menu.

Yeah.

to say order a big dessert after you've had a meal like we've just discussed right but i have to tell you that in that context after a big wonderful meal the greatest dessert i've ever had uh was in paris and it was a simple chocolate mousse

and it made me cry wow yeah it made me cry it was the perfect consistency you know it it left a little hole in it when you took the spoon out yeah it held it held the shape it held yeah

and it had air in it but not too much air in it it had egg in it obviously egg being very much part of this this dish and yeah it was just like you know that that thing where you put this the spoon in your gobbling and then you pull the spoon out and the thing is in your gobbling you just don't have to do anything it just it's there

It's everything.

It's the taste.

It's the texture.

It's the temperature.

Yes.

Goosebumps?

Did it give you goosebumps?

Gave me tears.

Goosebumps and tears.

Yeah, I suppose there's no tears without tears.

Tears on the first mouthful or

as a turkey.

I think, yeah.

And then tears of sadness when it was over?

No, I was ready for the meal to be over.

I'd actually been a glutton that night.

How was it presented?

Was it literally just the chocolate mousse in the bowl?

It was just the chocolate mousse.

No other faffing around with any other...

Nothing.

Whereabouts was this?

I want to eat this chocolate mousse now.

Oh, God, I don't know the name of the restaurant, but it was, again, very classic, kind of canteen-like

Parisian restaurant that's been there for, I don't know, 100 years or something.

I went with Jarvis Cocker.

That's where I was.

Jarvis Cocker's been on this podcast.

He has as well.

He taught me there.

So if you ever see him again, ask him what the name of the restaurant was.

Ask him what was that restaurant called?

Because he mentioned Paris when he was on the park.

He did mention Paris.

He loves it.

He loves Paris, right?

He loves it.

He loves it.

He lives there, I think, doesn't he?

Or lives

there.

He loves it.

I don't know where he lives now, but like, yeah, he definitely.

We need to track track down that chocolate mousse restaurant.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, everything I had there was great as well.

Like, I had like the onion soup in the beginning, and it was like the best onion soup I ever had, which is also an amazing dish.

But I didn't put it in here because it gives me cramps.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

I can't resist it.

Yeah.

But the onions tend to don't go well in my stomach.

When you had that meal then, yeah, the onion soup.

I was younger then, though, so I was able to handle the onions, but as I get older, older i'm not able to handle them as much it's done that stuff isn't it a thing yeah i think it is i've sort of got a intolerance i've built up an intolerance to it i know you're supposed to build up a tolerance aren't you i think of i think an intolerance has built up because most people onions make them cry but for you it was the chocolate mousse at the end of the middle yes

quite it's quite poetic incredible i wish you remembered the name i'd go there now yeah yeah the worst dish i ever had was in paris as well Oh, great.

Here we go.

Yeah.

Andoulette.

Have you ever heard of it?

Now, this has been bought upon the pod before, right?

The touch.

The touch.

Sandy Touchy.

Oh, yes.

He talked about it.

I bet he's well able for it, is he?

He loves it up.

Him and Mel Streep had it and hated it.

It's absolutely, I mean, it's unbelievable.

I was in Paris.

Your man says, comes over.

I said,

what's this, son?

And he said, it's a sausage.

And I swear and I'll have that.

He said, are you sure, madam?

And I looked at him and I was like, yeah, I'm sure.

I can eat anything, anything at all.

Just bring it.

Like that, you know, arrogant.

And he smiled the corner of his mouth.

He loved that.

Yeah.

Like, can't wait.

Okay.

And off he went and he came back with this and it was wonderful.

It looked wonderful.

On the plate, it was this huge sort of.

thing that looked like, you know, big sausage.

Cheesy language there because James is in the room.

I was looking over at James there.

yeah.

Big curved sausage on the place.

Believe it, mate.

And looked wonderfully cooked and all that.

And

everything looked fine until I put the knife into it and I cut through it.

And suddenly the whole area smelled of shit.

I wasn't even near my mouth yet, right?

And the waiter was over there smiling.

Yeah.

And I was like horrified already.

But I went for it.

Yeah, got it.

And I thought, okay, it smells of shit.

It won't taste the shit.

That's a red flag for me.

Cut into it and you just see all this like, there's no meat, like a sausage meat in it.

It's just intestines stuffed in it.

So it's like folded intestines inside.

Cut into it.

Took it, put a bit into my mouth.

No, that actually tastes like I've got shit in my mouth.

And it came out of nowhere, you know, and he was like, Are you enjoying your meal, madam?

And I was like, no, not really.

And I was green.

My face was green.

And bless him, he said, you can order something else.

We won't charge you.

I think he enjoyed it so much.

He didn't charge me for it.

Onion soup, please.

He knows the deal.

He does it every day.

Goes over.

They've got someone to talk themselves into.

They've got a white.

Scumball comes over.

We've got another scumble.

Sent out an an abulet.

She thinks she's done all right for a scumble.

Send her a shit sausage.

But it's literally the only thing that I've not been able to eat.

Sounds reasonable.

And Stadium too cheap.

You know, loves all foods, goes around eating anything.

Yeah.

And he hated that.

And he's not a scumball.

Hey, he is the opposite of a scumble.

All right.

I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

See how you feel about it.

Go ahead.

You would like Vichy water to start, sparkling.

Pomodon's bread, you would like a German bread selection and sourdough with grass-fed butter.

Starter, three courgette flowers stuffed with ricotta, then a pasta course of a risotto Milanese.

Main course, steak tartare, side dish of French fries from France, pom fritz.

Drink, you would like krugue throughout, and this red wine from your not-husband's father's vineyard.

Lucky out.

Yeah, but he's not his father.

It's his stepfather.

But yeah, go on.

Yeah, fair play.

Dessert.

Alfredo, shout going out.

shout out to alfredo shout out

the chocolate mousse from paris with jarvis cocker yes on the side on the jarvis cocker on the side shedding a tear with you in unison i can picture cocker just like a little tear rolling down little tears because he's not allowed any yeah because he can't have any yeah that you promised the classics I think you delivered the classics.

I did.

It feels like the classics.

Can I say this?

I do like the other mad stuff as well.

I will try that.

You You know, like I said, I went to the Peruvian sort of fusion business last week and it was fabulous.

But the greatest meal that I've had in the last, I don't know how many years had a ridiculous amount of courses.

It had, I don't know, 30 courses and it was a sushi meal.

Great.

And it was like...

religious experience honestly it was so meditative and

i think it's very important the space that you eat in as well and so he had gone to a lot of trouble this guy to make the sound right in the room wow so that when you're you it's a restaurant that only holds nine people on one like sort of uh what's it called like a counter

and so there's one guy behind the counter and stools on the counter but he'd gone to a lot of trouble with the lighting and the sound and i think that's very important around food i hate when you can't hear each other yeah

sure

And he, it's, it was amazing.

He's got kind of a secret phone number that you have to get off somebody else.

And

whereabouts is this?

This was in Ibiza as well.

Do you remember what it was called or is it a secret?

It's not really got a name.

He's called Walt.

The guy's called Walt.

My God.

I mean, food does make me cry.

Yeah.

When it's good.

It can bring tears.

Yeah.

It's the name I was least expecting when you described the restaurant.

He's actually Australian, but he had many, many years in Tokyo.

Waltz, the Australian sushi shop.

So I think that's got to become a goal of the podcast now to get Walt's number.

Walt's number for me.

Nobody's getting it.

And I'm not even going to tell you where it is or anything like that.

Because otherwise, we won't be able to get in the next time we want to go.

Yeah, we're going to try.

We're going to try and find this.

And we'd know choice what we were being given.

You know, that kind of a way.

As well, I don't really like reading menus and worrying about choice.

Sorry to put you through that then.

I know what you mean, though.

I like it.

I like it when you go in and they say, we're going to take care of it.

What would you do if you went back to Waltz and midway through the meal, he brought out an Andouette?

The ultimate.

He wouldn't, though, would he?

But maybe there would be some slither of it in something.

Yeah, you know.

Just a bit of shit.

Yeah, just a bit of shit can be good.

That's the perfect phrase to end on, I think.

Just a bit of shit can be good.

Just a bit of shit can be good.

Rosheen, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you, guys.

I've loved it.

Thank you so much.

Sorry.

There we are.

Great chat with Rosheen Murphy.

Fantastic chat.

Also, thank you, Rosheen, for not saying low-fat cheddar, the secret ingredient.

We were allowed to keep you in the restaurant for the duration.

Thank you so much.

Roshine has new music coming out soon, new singles, new album.

On the way.

Make sure you get on that.

Also, if you're not familiar with Roshin's back catalogue, change that.

Change that.

Right now.

There's so much stuff for you to delve into and enjoy.

So make sure you get on that.

Wrap your ears around some sweet sounds.

You know, check out Maloco, sure.

But if you leave the Soloco stuff, you're crazy.

You've got to get on the Soloco stuff.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Nice to hear another Andouiette story as well.

Yes.

Disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting.

Thank you very much to Roshid Murphy.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

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Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

Act Off Menu Podcast.

That's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, badgering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

They can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims, and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok, at Off Menu Podcast, on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes.

So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.