Menus To Be Buried With - Judgement Day!

Speaker 1 Oh no, it's James A Caster from the Off Menu Podcast, the podcast that you are listening to, and I have some news. I am going on tour round America, North America,

Speaker 1 from the 20th of January, starting in Toronto, and then finishing once again in Canada, in Vancouver, on the 15th of February. And in between, I'm going all over the place.

Speaker 1 I'm going to Philadelphia, Boston, Washington, D.C., Nashville, Austin, Texas, New Orleans, Atlanta, New York, Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles,

Speaker 1 San Francisco.

Speaker 1 You don't even need to edit that, like, to be smooth, Benito.

Speaker 1 They know I'm scrolling through my phone. That's what the cool kids do these days.
JamesAcasser.com for tickets. I'm pretty happy with that.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast. I normally do a fun foodie intro here, James, but this is a special episode, so everything's different.

Speaker 1 Comic Relief and ACAST are teaming up again to bring your favorite podcasters together for the Red Nosed Day podcast mashup and raise money that makes a life-changing difference.

Speaker 1 It's a crossover episode with Brett Goldstein

Speaker 1 for Comic Relief. I nearly said in the name of Comic Relief, but that's.

Speaker 1 that's it yeah no they have they have sanctioned us to do this yes they sanctioned us to do it it's the third time we've done it yes um menus to be buried with where brett's podcast films to be buried with is crossed over with our podcast off menu to make uh film questions that well were about films but now they're about food yes and not always necessarily translated in the best way it's just sort of it's quite you know they don't really hold together some of them but it's lovely to catch up with brett isn't it yeah it's a podcast mashup It's nice to catch up with Brett.

Speaker 1 It's nice to work with Comic Relief. Hopefully, we can all have a little bit of fun and learn how to donate along the way.
Yes, exactly, James. Should we get on with it? Let's get on with it.

Speaker 1 Hello, and welcome to Menus to Be Buried with Judgment Day. It is I, Brett Goldstein, and I am rejoined for the third time by a

Speaker 1 couple of absolute geezers. One of them

Speaker 1 has been touring the same show for 75 years.

Speaker 1 The other one has been touring a show he didn't write any material for. Please welcome to the podcast.
It's the brilliant Ped Prambles and the genie.

Speaker 1 There's no point us clapping, we've realised over Zoom. We all clapped each other there, but Zoom's cutting out the clapping, isn't it, Brett? It is.
We have to say things like clap or walk.

Speaker 1 Why do you think this is? Why do you think it's a conspiracy? Zoom doesn't want people clapping each other and being nice.

Speaker 1 Zoom's trying to keep us all down so we won't meet up in person because we'll all feel so low we won't leave the house. So we'll keep using Zoom for meetings.
That's why.

Speaker 1 Well, last time we did one of these, Brett, we did it on Zoom, but you were in England. So I think it might be you who doesn't want to meet up with us.
Yeah, I forgot that.

Speaker 1 Happy comic relief, you boys. It's lovely to see you again.
Lovely to see you.

Speaker 1 Always frustrating to see a man whose name begins with a certain letter drinking from a mug, which has a completely different letter on it. Yes, your mug says A.
So A, Brett.

Speaker 1 Now tell me this.

Speaker 1 Let's have a quick catch up for the game. It's been a while since we did a perfectly makes sense format of menus to be buried with.

Speaker 1 Wow, Paired Brambles, you've been touring like a madman. Yes, last year.
How's it been? All fine. All done now.

Speaker 1 But then I've got to go to Australia and New Zealand to do it as well. It's popping on.
It's the same show. Well, it'd be some different bits.

Speaker 1 I'll chop and change it because there's a lot of things that won't make sense to Australians.

Speaker 1 Can you give me one example? You don't have to do the bit, but subject-wise. See BBs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Doesn't translate.
They won't understand that. Doesn't translate.
I'd have to say, say babies for them to understand it. Brilliant.
Brilliant.

Speaker 1 Now, the genie, I've been fascinated by, as we know, you

Speaker 1 aren't very good with audiences. You tend to hate them.
You turn on them.

Speaker 1 You see them as the bone of your existence. So you've been doing a new show called Heckler's Welcome.
Yes. Where you've been trying to change your feelings on this.
How's that been going?

Speaker 1 Good, actually.

Speaker 1 I have changed my feelings. My feelings are steadily.
Tell me. Change it.
It's a process. This isn't the podcast for it, Brett.
This isn't the podcast.

Speaker 1 This is the Free Lads Mucking about podcast I'm gonna talk about my feelings and you know that this is just Brett setting you up to make fun of you James yes

Speaker 1 and then we know what's gonna happen don't we do know what's gonna happen because last time it happened what happened we all oh last time Brett

Speaker 1 how quickly we forget last time

Speaker 1 all three of us were making fun back and forth of each other and then afterwards you got on the blower to Benito and said, all right, Benito, Brett here, can you take out all the bits that I said that when I'm making fun of those two?

Speaker 1 Because they sound really mean. I don't want people to think I'm mean.
I want people to think I'm kind and believe. And then they took all the stuff out that you said.

Speaker 1 And then they didn't tell us that. They didn't tell us that you'd made that request.
Yeah. So all of our disses to you were still in there.
And we looked like a couple of bullies.

Speaker 1 You call me fing.

Speaker 1 Listen, that's not bullying. That's just statements of facts.
That's someone who understands you talking to you. Well, why did you ask? Yeah, why didn't you want the facts taken out?

Speaker 1 Oh, those things got taken out, did they? Yeah, because you asked for it, it would be taken out.

Speaker 1 Well, I say reinstate them, let the court see

Speaker 1 I was talking to a person with understanding and empathy, kind of belief.

Speaker 1 Pet Brambles and the genie, you have died again

Speaker 1 because it is now judgment day.

Speaker 1 You stand on the edge.

Speaker 1 You stand on the edge of

Speaker 1 heaven and hell.

Speaker 1 You must tell me the best and worst thing that you did in this lifetime and answer some questions about food stuff.

Speaker 1 In the end, I will decide whether you get to go to heaven or hell. Make sense, young men? Yes, thank you.
Can I ask a quick question at this point, please? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 We've both done this format separately and alone when it's about films

Speaker 1 and had to come up with our best and worst thing. I struggle to do that anyway.
Should this be some best and worst thing we've done together?

Speaker 1 I love it that me and Ed have to agree on the best thing we've done together and the worst thing we've done together. That's great.
Yeah, this will be interesting because let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's see what happens. I'm not going to pass judgment yet.
That's what we're here for. Because I forgot when I did the podcast by myself, I forgot about this bit until you said it.

Speaker 1 And then I had to come up with something on the spot and it wasn't very good. You were the best answer that I've had on this.
Oh, that's true, actually.

Speaker 1 For those of you who haven't heard the episode, Ed's best thing he ever did was marry his wife and the worst thing was relentlessly cheat on her. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 I can't let sentiment hang in the air for too long.

Speaker 1 So what's the best and worst thing you two have done together? Now it's becoming clear I'm using this to just shift

Speaker 1 all the stuff onto James. Oh, what? I thought you had an answer.
No way, man. I respect you for

Speaker 1 it along with this because I thought you already had one pretty ready to go. I didn't have to think of it.
No, I I thought you could think of it for me.

Speaker 1 Well, so the best thing that Ed and I have done together,

Speaker 1 it may not have been a constantly fun experience, but the thing that I felt was the biggest achievement was when Ed and I went on the run together. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because we really bonded together, banded together and bonded, but banded and bonded together. Yes.
Because like, look, when we went on the run, Benito confided in

Speaker 1 his employees and he said to them, well, that's that's the end of the podcast because that these two are going to fall out and then that's it

Speaker 1 and then we came back off the run and and he was like how'd it go you falling out the podcast over and we're like no actually no not at all we didn't fall out because we we both went into it knowing what the other one needed support wise we knew what the other one's limits would be and like when their need to just be left alone for a bit we did that with each other it felt really good by then i was like you know what i i mean I already knew this guy's my friend.

Speaker 1 But by the end, I was like, man, friendship test passed. We did it.
That's an excellent story. When you say you know what each other needed, what's Ped Bramble's primary need, do you think?

Speaker 1 Just give him some time, give him some space. They're trying to make it stressful deliberately.

Speaker 1 That's what they're trying to get. He's reaching his limit.
Don't stir the pot. Don't keep it.
Don't go, oh, Ed, are you okay? All the time in his fight. Just step back, baby.

Speaker 1 Talk to the camera guy for a bit. Let Ed walk it off.
And that had happened. And Ed was the same with me.
Whenever I was like, clearly, oh, man, he'd just go, okay, just leave him alone for a bit.

Speaker 1 Similar needs, actually. Yeah, yeah, it's very similar.
Yeah. Just a bit of space.
And then I had to whack James off in his sleeping bag. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, yeah,

Speaker 1 that's quite a specific need from the genius.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, you know, ask him they'll shall receive.

Speaker 1 What's the worst thing you ever did together other than the sleeping bag incident? Relentlessly cheat on Ed's wife.

Speaker 1 when I marry my wife, she marries my friends as well, so they're they're not allowed to have any other relationships. Yes, it's complicated, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yes, you know, you're in Hollywood, yeah, you're in the work.

Speaker 1 I also married your wife, yes, I married your wife for the green card so I could work out here and

Speaker 1 cheat on us. Yeah, I know,

Speaker 1 makes no sense.

Speaker 1 She literally came to me. What I realized after I'd married her, I was like, oh, she's dumb me right up.
She's a fucking green cut. She just made a green cut.
Yeah, yeah. I went to the airport.

Speaker 1 It didn't work.

Speaker 1 They said, no,

Speaker 1 you're still a tourist. I was like, fuck.

Speaker 1 There's nothing quite like Red Nose Day. That time when we come together, bring the laughs and raise life-changing money.

Speaker 1 Whatever you can do this year, you'll be part of something amazing that's helping people through the toughest times of their lives in the UK and around the world, and helping them to break free from poverty.

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Speaker 1 Right. Well, your best and worst are interesting, but I can't decide.
Hmm, perhaps we should talk about some foodstuffs to help me with my decision.

Speaker 1 What is the meal that you had when you were too young to have it that affected you the most?

Speaker 1 Now, for those of you who might be listening to this crossover for the first time it's the third time we've done it and what we do is we take brett's questions from his podcast films to be buried with and just put food in where it should be films uh so they don't always work but i think this one works brett yeah i agree i agree too uh what's what's your answer well i'd say every meal when i was young was a meal that i was too young to have it because I was a little posh gourmand child.

Speaker 1 Can you give me an example? Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Examples fly in your way. I always refused to have the kids' menu, so I'd always have to have what the grown-ups were having.

Speaker 1 And then once I went to a wedding when I was a little boy, and they had all separate food for the children on a different table, but I didn't want that.

Speaker 1 And there was a big argument over whether I could have the adults' food. I was probably about seven or eight, and it all kicked off.
And in the end, they agreed.

Speaker 1 And that was the first time I had poached salmon.

Speaker 1 Wow. Delicious.
I've never had poat salve. Absolutely delic.
You make it like an egg. Yeah, you crack the salmon in into the pan.
Pour it in. Yeah, spin it around.

Speaker 1 You've got to put the salmon in the whirlpool. It goes mad.
And then it's delicious. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You loved it as a kid, all this stuff, did you? Oh, I loved it. I mean, by that point, there'd been so many arguments that I was like, you better like this, you little shit.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, it's going to be a disaster and you're going to have to go and eat chicken Goujons with the rest of the losers.

Speaker 1 Even that would have been posh for me gujons yeah i meant nuggets oh yeah what about you the genie what's the food you ate when you were too young to have it that affected you the most this story gets told every time we see a certain family friend who was there for it and she always brings it up when i was a little kid my parents made a curry and they thought it wasn't very hot uh but it was really hot but the rule in our house was that you didn't get dessert unless you ate the main course um i knew that going in so i was really powering through it.

Speaker 1 And apparently, for the whole thing, so I was like, you know, I was like seven or six or something. And for the whole thing, I was going,

Speaker 1 like that out of my mouth and blowing. But I kept on going,

Speaker 1 it's very nice, mummy. Thank you.

Speaker 1 And like eating this curry and just absolutely just dying. Also, we never knew what the dessert was going to be.
We just knew it was dessert.

Speaker 1 So we never found out until the end that sometimes it was something awful, like natural yogurt. And then you'd be really gutted.

Speaker 1 I can't remember what the dessert was that day, but that's how much I loved dessert is i was like whatever it is i want it so i'm going to eat this curry that is actually the temperature of the sun it's very very hot natural yogurt probably would have helped that would have the most on that occasion yeah that would have been brilliant if it was natural yogurt that's a very sweet story and i haven't heard you go

Speaker 1 since um ed wakes you off in a sleeping bag if you could eat one meal in a film which one would it be what yeah that makes sense actually yeah it does it does make sense.

Speaker 1 We've discussed this now and again. I can't remember whether we've discussed it on one of these.
We've talked about studio Ghibli a lot. Yes.

Speaker 1 There's been a lot of meals in films that we've talked about quite frequently. I want to eat the

Speaker 1 taco from the menu that prints all your bank details on it.

Speaker 1 Still not seen the menu. You want the bank taco?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I want the bank taco or like just like, yeah, stuff from my personal documents printed on a taco because I wouldn't be creeped out by that.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, what a lot of attention the kitchen have gotten to to hack my account. And there's all my bank details.
I'd love that. Yeah, they've really done their homework.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 And you're going to eat it. What's the big deal? Yeah, exactly.
Yum, yum. You're not leaving your bank details hanging around.
You're going to eat it. No, yeah, exactly.
What about you, the genie?

Speaker 1 I think I've said in the past that the banquet, the feast from Hook,

Speaker 1 and the bangerang. Isn't that imaginary, though? Yes, but they make it look so.
Those kids are so good at acting.

Speaker 1 When they're eating it and it's invisible still, and they're just imagining it, they're so good at doing it. It looks delicious.
I'm like, oh, man.

Speaker 1 Like, because Robin Williams is looking at them, like, look at his lips and be like, oh,

Speaker 1 what you're reading there, chief, or whatever. And they call them chief in Goodwill Hunting.
But, like, he looks like really hungry because the kids are so good at miming.

Speaker 1 So I always think like that food. But also, any food that Brad Pitt eats in a film, he really makes it look delicious.
But his every film. He eats like an animal, Brad Pitt.

Speaker 1 He's really like disgusting the way he eats. Yeah, because

Speaker 1 he's not eating off camera. Yeah, exactly.
That's so true, Ped. He loves it when he reads a script and he goes, oh, I'm going to get to have a dinner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just fully goes, eats a hot dog, but like so mettly. That's why

Speaker 1 whenever they break for lunch, you hear him go, ah, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So maybe I would do that.
The banquet at Hook, but I want Brad Pitt there. You'd eat all the food.

Speaker 1 You'd have have nothing there'd be nothing left for you no but it's all mimes there's like loads of food there you'd be like this with a with a hot dog and he'd be like

Speaker 1 and he'd take your hot dog and be like Brad well that'd be funny that'd be good fun if if every time I was miming eating some food Brad Pitt swooped in and ate it out my hands

Speaker 1 what is the worst date you ever had at a meal genie Let's start with you because I know you'll love this question. Oh yeah? I'll love it.

Speaker 1 This is right up your street. It's a very easy answer, this one.

Speaker 1 I think I was...

Speaker 1 I still hadn't ever really been on a proper date. Still lived back home.

Speaker 1 How old were you? I would have been, I don't know, 17, something like that. I was pretty late to the date game, Brett.
And I remember turning up this place that it's just like a...

Speaker 1 It was a pub, but it did food in Ketron. Wasn't many options.

Speaker 1 agreed to meet someone there. Can you give me a bit of info about the woman involved without naming her?

Speaker 1 A friend of a friend you know her and her mates were at the pub and we were at the pub anyway i turned up at the pub for our food and uh she was hammered she was she was there before me and she was absolutely hammered i remember we walked around the block a couple of times so she was like oh if i go for a walk i'll sober up oh well she she was like i'm sorry i'm oh yeah she was like she's like okay i'm fucked she was like i'm fucked because i I was nervous about the date and I've just got here.

Speaker 1 I got here early and I'm absolutely fucked. I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 let's go for a walk. Walked around the block twice and by the end she went, it's not going to happen.
I was like, right, okay. I put her in a cab home and then just walked back to my house on my own.

Speaker 1 That was going to be my first date.

Speaker 1 I guess it wasn't. Rita, I married her.

Speaker 1 She sounds amazing. Are you still in friends with her? No.

Speaker 1 I don't think I ever really saw her or spoke to her again since. That was it, which is quite impressive in Karen to avoid someone.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My worst date story is exactly the same, except she didn't acknowledge that she was absolutely off her fucking head and was also, it turned out, an incredibly angry drunk.

Speaker 1 And I was just stuck with an angry drunk who, within five minutes, started a fight with the waiter and then said to the waiter, pointing at me, like, he'll beat you up.

Speaker 1 And I said to the waiter, I absolutely will not. I barely know

Speaker 1 how this has happened.

Speaker 1 Ped Prambles, worst date you ever had. Little from column A, little from column B.
Devastatingly similar.

Speaker 1 At university, I agreed to meet a girl for drinks and a meal. I arrived and she'd clearly had maybe a bottle of wine plus before she'd got there.

Speaker 1 And then obviously we had a drink and then she went to the toilet and she was in there for 20 minutes. So obviously I'm thinking she's left, but she hasn't.
She came tottering out.

Speaker 1 carried on drinking, completely refused to believe that she was drunk. Then insisted we go to a nightclub.

Speaker 1 She was basically just on a drunken tear and I was following her around holding her bag and stuff. And then we went to the nightclub.
She went to the toilet again for, I'd say, half an hour

Speaker 1 to the point where I had to sort of ask girls coming out of the toilet, have you seen this person in there?

Speaker 1 And they were like, no, the cubicle's locked though. I was like, fuck, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, and then the bouncer came over, the female bouncer came over and was like, why are you standing by the girls' toilet talking to girls as they come out?

Speaker 1 I'm like, well, someone I know is in there. She's like, I'll go and check.
And she said, yeah, yeah, I've just seen her legs come out from underneath the cubicle.

Speaker 1 So then, yeah, obviously had to help her home, popped her in her room. Lovely date.

Speaker 1 So sounds great.

Speaker 1 What does it say about the three of us that we are so intimidating slash ugly that all the women we've been on date with were like, I've got to get a fucking hammer before I meet up with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, even worse, Brett, you would not believe the amount of girls that I snogged when I was a teenager who turns out they were so drunk that they were literally immediately sick straight after kissing me.

Speaker 1 One of them in a kitchen sink.

Speaker 1 What? You kissed by the sink, she turned, puked in the sink. Carried on kissing.
We went right by the sink, although I should have done that because it had happened before.

Speaker 1 No, we were kissing, and then she was like, and then sort of stopped kissing and then just runs the sink and was sick.

Speaker 1 And I won't pretend that we didn't kiss after. Yeah, no, don't pretend.
Why would you?

Speaker 1 How do you, how do you how do you have self-esteem if that was a relentless thing it's very you're very impressive mentally very impressive there's an obvious answer to that question bruh look at his profession do no have self-esteem oh you

Speaker 1 ever heard the one about the comedian who had good self-esteem

Speaker 1 If you could live in the world of one meal, which would it be?

Speaker 1 Or if that doesn't make sense to you, which single meal would you have forever if i put a gun to your head and said you have to have a single meal forever well let's see if i could live in the world of one meal yeah i guess the movie of my life brett would be called cloudy with a chance of chorizo broccoli pasta

Speaker 1 i mean this was always going to be an easy answer for james to be honest very easy see i would love it if i was in the cloudier chance of meatballs world but it was raining chorizo broccoli pasta all the time the time that's a lovely answer genie thank you thank you do you want to know mine yeah i think the meal that i could eat in any i've i've taken this question to mean in any conditions like no throughout the year and i'll never get bored of it and it's um ramen any weather any time of year any specific ramen look i there's a lot of good ramen in london uh but some of the best ramen i ever had obviously japan i had ramen at 9 a.m in tokyo airport when i was flying home from Japan.

Speaker 1 Wow. And I didn't think it was going to be a breakfast food, but that proves the adaptability of ramen.
I had fantastic ramen in Tokyo Airport just before we took off. Fantastic.

Speaker 1 And I love it in hot weather because it's like almost like, you know, like a hot cup of tea is good in hot weather. Supposedly, yeah.
Because it like flushes you out. Cools you down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, cools you down. Yeah.
So it's like that acts in the same way. And it's great in cold weather, obviously, as well.
So yeah, it's got to be ramen, Brett.

Speaker 1 In Tokyo Airport, were you eating this ramen on the move with bags? Or was that? No, no, no, no. We popped it.
I was on the back of one of those buggies.

Speaker 1 That's what they use them for in Japan. Everywhere in the Western world, they use those buggies for people who can't get around.

Speaker 1 In Japan, it's if you've got a big bowl of ramen, it was fucking splashing all over me. It was awful, burning my legs.
And then I kissed my wife and she was sick.

Speaker 1 And then you flew home to cheat on her with other people who were also sick. What a life.
Yes. What is your favourite children's meal? Now, Ped, you might find this difficult having never had one.

Speaker 1 Is it poked salmon? Yeah, I mean, it may as well be for me. Like, I hate all that stuff, and that's really hung up.
That's hung over. Like, I probably prefer that sort of stuff now.

Speaker 1 But even, like, nuggets, chips and beans, all of that beige stuff, absolutely horrible.

Speaker 1 I don't know why we decided that's what kids like. Because it's horrible stuff.
It should be stuff to make them grow well, right?

Speaker 1 But for some reason, kids' food is all mashed up chicken in a breaded dinosaur shape and stuff. No, thank you.
All right, Jamie Oliver. Leave with the propaganda.

Speaker 1 I completely agree with Jamie Oliver. So do I.
About everything.

Speaker 1 So do I. On all subjects.
I do like onion rings, though. Oh, yeah.
I like shit onion rings from Frozen.

Speaker 1 Like the ones that don't really, really taste like onion. What other shit food do you like then, Peds? I don't mind fish fingers now and again.
I have a fish finger sandwich. Is that shit food?

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's my answer.
Is it? Fish fingers, chips, and peas. That's a lovely meal.
And that's someone who

Speaker 1 doesn't know anything about food. Yeah, it sounds like a good meal to me.
If you had a film, Brett, coming up,

Speaker 1 and you were like not eating all day, and then you had a scene where you eat like Brad Pitt, would you be like, can I have fish fingers, chips and peas? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That does happen when you, it's always a nightmare when you have a scene where it's like, they're at dinner and then someone will call you and go, what would you like the dinner to be?

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, God.

Speaker 1 Protein shake.

Speaker 1 How many times are we going to have to eat it? You're playing Joel Dommit.

Speaker 1 I'd love it if you're in a film in like a posh restaurant and suddenly there's a shot where it's clear that you're eating fish fingers, chips, and peas.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is absolutely delightful.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I don't know. What else is on a kid's menu? What do people love on a kid's menu? Little hamburger, little

Speaker 1 cheeseburger,

Speaker 1 turkey dinosaurs. Yeah, fish fingers.
I tell you what we used to get at school lunches. Spaghetti bolognese.
Fucking yeah.

Speaker 1 I tell you what we we used to get at school dinners, which I shouldn't have had because we weren't paying for the fools.

Speaker 1 We're erring into just the side of Italian food here now, but I'm thinking of a bowl of lucky charms. Oh, fuck off America.
Yeah, look at him. Lucky charms.
Didn't take you long, did it?

Speaker 1 Drop the Kool-Aid. Oh, come on, you as well.

Speaker 1 It's Lucas Aid and Rice Krispies.

Speaker 1 Those ribs, those reformulated ribs

Speaker 1 that are just like a big strip of like

Speaker 1 just horrible meat, but they put the little bits in it, the sort of little cut-out bits to make it look like a rib, and they cover it in that sweet sauce. Love it.
Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1 You're talking about a McRib, the best food. Yeah, it's basically, it tastes like a McRib, but they used to do those at our school, which I'll try and make this point again.

Speaker 1 I didn't pay for school dinners. I used to eat my pat lunch in morning break and then go and steal school dinner.
Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Every month nearly two million people across the UK are skipping meals because they can't afford to buy enough food. With no way out they're going without.

Speaker 1 Putting their kids first, making impossible decisions, choosing a warm home over a warm meal. Just £5 could provide a toiletry pack for someone sleeping rough in the UK.

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Speaker 1 What is the meal that you didn't think you would like, but you ended up loving? Pred.

Speaker 1 These things are very rare for me. I like most things.
You've got a positive attitude going into food, don't you? I do.

Speaker 1 I hated celery for a long time. So the first time I had celery again, I thought I'm going to hate this.

Speaker 1 It's when I had some buffalo chicken wings with the celery and the blue cheese, which I don't know how, I don't know what the point is of that.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you're supposed to do that, whether you're supposed to balance something on the celery or dip it in the blue cheese, but then what you, why are the chicken wings there?

Speaker 1 But I thought, I'm going to absolutely hate celery.

Speaker 1 And you know what i loved it so fresh so crunchy so delicious and it helps that there was blue cheese and chicken wings next to it but to disguise the taste of the celery but now i don't mind the taste of celery a lovely snack celery sure peanut butter but celery celery nutella celery yes exactly

Speaker 1 celery put the celery in the bin and eat a block of cheese lovely celery

Speaker 1 what about you the genie when i was a kid, my mum made a Thai fish soup. And at the time, as far as I was concerned, I didn't really like soup.
Soup was boring.

Speaker 1 And I definitely didn't want a fish soup. And I thought that sounds awful.
And it was, it's one of my favorite meals now. When we go home, I'll request it because it's just delicious.

Speaker 1 It's got all the coconut milk in it. I hadn't had coconut milk in a soup before.
Didn't know how good that could be.

Speaker 1 Big chunks of salmon in there, prawns, loads of veg,

Speaker 1 vegetables.

Speaker 1 Thank you for explaining what's what veg is short for in England. Right, okay, cool.
I know you don't. I thought it was another fish or something.
Loads of veg.

Speaker 1 Where do you get that?

Speaker 1 You go into your writer's room this morning and you pitch veg.

Speaker 1 You pitch that as a word in a script over there and see what they say. I don't know.
You're talking about lucky charms and stuff now.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you'll know what veg is. They've got card and veg.

Speaker 1 What? I think Brett's talking about vaginas again. Oh,

Speaker 1 Come on, man. Come on, Brett.

Speaker 1 Give it a rest for two seconds. And in front of him is loads of veg.

Speaker 1 I mean, actresses, Brett. You're on your last warning.
Gold team.

Speaker 1 He's just chowing down on the veg. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 But that's what, yeah.

Speaker 1 That Thai fish soup, man, the best. The best.
Lovely answers from both of you. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Now to the question I'm most interested in and I believe your listeners are.

Speaker 1 What is the single most erotic meal you've ever had? Let's start with the genie. No, let's start with Ped, because I know the genie likes foreplay and he'll want to build up to it.

Speaker 1 Do you mean the experience of the meal or the meal itself? You interpret how you want, but what I'd... Because I've had penis pasta before, but I wouldn't say that was necessarily erotic.
No.

Speaker 1 Then that's not your answer, but thank you for letting us.

Speaker 1 When were you having the old penis pasta? Was that a Hannibal Lecter's house?

Speaker 1 I bought it. No,

Speaker 1 it wasn't like a penis sauce. It was the pasta itself was in the shape of little peanut.
You can get loads of that sort of stuff. Once,

Speaker 1 there's a place in London. I don't know if it's open anymore.
But, well, it used to be somewhere else. I think it was like a place that did tea that Charlie really liked.
My wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we know who she is. We're all tea, you know.
And we went to where the tea place was, and it had been replaced by a shop that exclusively sold dick-shaped ice creams. Wow.
How do you do that?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's still open, but it was all different flavours, different sizes. Yeah.
Wow. Could have them dipped in stuff.

Speaker 1 It was very funny that a place that meant quite a lot to it was replaced by a dick-shaped ice cream shop. That was a real slap in the face.
Dipped in veg. So what's your most erotic meal?

Speaker 1 Because that doesn't sound that erotic. Well, I don't know.
I'd say the more I get through a meal, because I tend to eat a lot, the less erotic everything becomes. Yes.

Speaker 1 I can't eat myself out of being horny

Speaker 1 quite easily.

Speaker 1 And I know, you know, in films when people are eating a meal and they'll be like, oh, and it'll just, the whole feeling will overcome them and they'll have to stop eating the meal to go and go and shag.

Speaker 1 That's never happened to me. No.

Speaker 1 The love of food has never been outweighed by the love of sex. No, I'm never going to leave a restaurant halfway through a meal.
If I've cooked something, I'm not going to let it go cold.

Speaker 1 also if i've if i've cooked which i guess in in the home is probably you know you could probably make that quite erotic because you know you're near a place where you can do it right but if i've cooked i tend to kill the mood by just constantly asking questions about how much they're enjoying it

Speaker 1 interesting very very interesting i mean i guess for me as someone who you know doesn't understand basic sort of how to eat stuff the idea of like eating a big meal and then going straight to sex i'd just be worried about Windy Pops.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean? I'd just be like, oh, hang on. What about the Windy Pops? What about you, the genie? Does a packet of crisps count as a meal? I don't know.

Speaker 1 You need to tell me what's the context of this crisps. When I was 13,

Speaker 1 me and some friends

Speaker 1 watched American Pie for the first time, and I was eating a packet of crisps

Speaker 1 while watching it. It was very sexy.

Speaker 1 Did you fuck the packet of crisps?

Speaker 1 I would have if the moon was empty. I would have fucked anything because that film was so sexy, man.

Speaker 1 i'd never seen anything that sexy until that point in my life i couldn't believe what i was seeing in that yeah your remake is called english crisps and it's just you banging a load of walkers yeah still eugene levy for some reason he comes in and finds finds james explaining the crisps what's that noise so much crunching upstairs oh jesus your Your ice cream dick's cut to ribbons.

Speaker 1 Actually, it should be Gary Lineker, shouldn't it, playing Eugene? Yeah, yeah. Should me still try to steal the crisps off my my dick.

Speaker 1 Is that because earlier in the film, someone's told me, I've been like, what's it like? And they've been like, it's like

Speaker 1 a dry packet of crisps. It's like fucking a pack of salt and vinegar crisps.

Speaker 1 You'll feel very sore afterwards.

Speaker 1 Which meal...

Speaker 1 you don't care about as a whole meal has a single food within it that you love.

Speaker 1 Genie.

Speaker 1 That was you. It's a very difficult one.

Speaker 1 But I would say I'm not that bothered, even though I'm a dessert boy, not that bothered about chocolate fudge cake. Find it a bit boring.
Wow. Chocolate fudge cake.
Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 But when it has a scoop of ice cream, I love ice cream. So I would say the scoop of ice cream and a chocolate fudge cake and ice cream.
That's the most shocking thing you've ever said.

Speaker 1 I know that about you to find that outrageous.

Speaker 1 Well, you've got to remember, like, I love dessert so much that when it is a dessert menu, I really want to find something special, something that I really love.

Speaker 1 And chocolate fudge cake, they're ten a penny. They're on most ones.
When you have a really, really good one, sure, it's delicious. But it's very rare that you get one that's a showstopper.

Speaker 1 They're mainly done to, like, mid-level quality, and they're just, they just sling them on the menu. And when you do have it, you're like, yeah, I'm getting the sugar in my body, but at what cost?

Speaker 1 Very interesting and surprising answer. Thank you.
Insightful. What about you, Ped Bramblers? See, weirdly, weirdly, I'm kind of similar, but for a different thing.

Speaker 1 So I'm not really a fan of sweet baked goods, the actual baked bit. So like cake, plain cake, the actual sponge, I'm not that interested in.
Chocolate sponge, a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Like cupcakes, the actual cake bit, not that interested. It's all about the icing and the toppings, right? So I'll happily slice off the...
the top of a cupcake and just eat the icing.

Speaker 1 I don't need the ballast of the sponge.

Speaker 1 But then also, I'm kind of like that with, if you want to take this as my answer, Brett, brett something like fish pie or a shepherd's pie if it's got cheese on the top of it all i really want to do is eat the cheese off the top not bothered about anything else do you think quite a lot of your answers have involved getting rid of the food and having cheese do you think that actually you just like cheese i know i like cheese yeah yeah

Speaker 1 and cheese can improve most things but then then i just think why not just go full charlotte church and have a plate of cheese yeah i didn't know this about her yeah she when she was a kid her special family meal was putting grated cheese on a plate and putting it under the grill.

Speaker 1 And then eating it. Oh, that's great.
Cheese on a plate.

Speaker 1 I like cheese on a plate. And then James ruined the interview.
No, don't tell Brett. This is the worst person to tell.
Tell me.

Speaker 1 I didn't ruin it. It went well.
It went well.

Speaker 1 He started saying he was imagining Charlotte Church under a waterfall. No, listen.
I didn't say to her, I'm imagining you under a waterfall. What did you say, the genie?

Speaker 1 Charlotte Church said she wanted water from a waterfall. And she said, I want to go to a waterfall with a cup and get the water.
And you said, I'd like to imagine you're under that. I said,

Speaker 1 Are you going to stand next to the waterfall

Speaker 1 and put the cup under, or do you stand under it and gather it in the cup? And I wasn't thinking.

Speaker 1 And as soon as I said that, both her and Ed were like, What a dirty, grubby little boy. I was like, No, I was just thinking that I would like to stand under it and

Speaker 1 catch it all in the cup. I wasn't thinking about

Speaker 1 this desperate. And listeners won't be able to see this.
He went, or do you want to be under the waterfall? Like,

Speaker 1 that's what you did. I didn't do that.
Bet I didn't do it. And then you thought you'd make it less perverted by going, no, no, no, I want to be under the waterfall as well.
Catch me.

Speaker 1 I'm touching you. No, I didn't say that to her.
And it wasn't me being under there with her.

Speaker 1 Who was it? Oh, the genie. The genie, your character that lets you touch women.
Yes, I get it. No, no,

Speaker 1 no. I was saying...

Speaker 1 Pumped dumps or bread, I'll touch you.

Speaker 1 No, no, not that.

Speaker 1 I was saying that if I was getting water from a waterfall with a cushion on my own, on my own, I would want to stand under the waterfall and do it.

Speaker 1 Waiting for Charlotte Church to turn up in her tiny bikini that you would basket.

Speaker 1 How easy life is if you can just write in your own little pervy bits at the end and make everyone look like a grubster. I'm a good boy.

Speaker 1 Kind and believe. What is the meal that stayed with you the longest after eating it? I mean, make of that what you will.
I've got one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nashville, Tennessee. It was a big change in my diet.
I was there for a week filming something and it stayed with me physically the longest.

Speaker 1 All of the southern food blocked me up.

Speaker 1 Didn't go for a full toilet for the full week. I think it was nerves as well because we were shooting a pilot for something and I was nervous and all the food was quite heavy and stodgy.

Speaker 1 And then we finished shooting the pilot and we were all going to go out for a drink afterwards. I went back to the hotel and my whole body relaxed and I went for my first poo in a week.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, thank God for that. And then I went back into my hotel room about five minutes later.
I went, I think I need to go to the toilet again. Went for another full, full poo.

Speaker 1 Went back into the hotel room. I was like, well, at least that's over.
And then my body went, no, you need to go again. And that happened seven times in a row.
Wow.

Speaker 1 The whole week's worth. Seven days' worth and seven poos.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's a lovely story. But that's a long time for a meal to stay with you.
And it happened to me in Japan as well. A lot happened in Japan.

Speaker 1 Well, not a lot happened in Japan when it came to toilet time.

Speaker 1 That annoyed me because the toilets are so good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What a waste. When did it all come out? It was like seven or eight days, I think.

Speaker 1 And then there's not a jet of water strong enough to clean that. Sorry about that, everyone.
The genie, what's your answer to this? A more wholesome answer. But

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 13. I think I was 13 in another story I've told.
We

Speaker 1 went abroad for the first time as a family to France. And there was a posh man in the village where we lived anyway.
And he was like, I've got a chalet in the Alps. You can stay there.

Speaker 1 So that was a really big deal for us. Very excited about it.
You were 13 and a man said, come and stay in my chalet. No, no.
I was 13, but I had a family.

Speaker 1 And before we left for the holiday, a man in the village that we lived in, just outside of Ketterin. which we'd moved to

Speaker 1 recently at this point in my life. From where? From Ketterin.
To Kettering. A posh man said, if you're going to France on holiday, stay at my chalet for a weekend beforehand.
Big deal for us.

Speaker 1 Went there and he said, go to this place for dinner. It's very nice.

Speaker 1 And we went there and it was a really tiny, tiny place run by this couple who had a big dog called Snoopy who had massive dreadlocks. This dog was just walking around.

Speaker 1 These stories are very on brand for us. Yeah.
Yeah. There was us, family of five from England, an Italian family and a French couple in there, and that was it.

Speaker 1 And it worked that they just kept on bringing out courses and they were very like basic rustic courses. But this couple who ran the place just kept on bringing stuff out.

Speaker 1 One of the courses I remember was like just a hot plate and you cooked your own meat on it.

Speaker 1 Dessert was just like a whole tub of Neapolitan ice cream with a scoop and they go, there you go, just fill your boots.

Speaker 1 Which obviously as a 13 year old I was like in absolute heaven, couldn't believe that. It doesn't sound like they cooked any of this meal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think they really bothered with it, but it was so great.

Speaker 1 Just emptied their fruit.

Speaker 1 We loved how full we were afterwards we'd never like had so many courses before and we talk we still talk about it now as a family and how great the the meal was i mean at one point they did ask each table to like sing a song from their country and they asked us to sing along long way to tipperary so

Speaker 1 we sang we sang that as a family to everyone else particularly memorable when you came back from that meal and found the push man hiding under your bed

Speaker 1 what is your problem mate i tell you a wholesome story about my childhood You put an old man under my bed at the end.

Speaker 1 How were your shits after the meal? Yeah, good question. Thank you, Lily.
They were lovely, I think. I think they were lovely.

Speaker 1 They're making you sing a song from your...

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 around Christmas, was at a very nice place on holiday, and it was very nice. And we were having breakfast.

Speaker 1 And then there was this, and I'd particularly gone to breakfast because there was going to be like a gospel choir there. And you know, I love my gospel.

Speaker 1 and they were singing and it was great and then they suddenly stopped and said one by one we're going to go around the table and everyone's going to do a a little bit and it took ages for this to happen i was so stressed that the meal was ruined i was so it was like probably half an hour before it finally got to me and all i had to say was like rings you know what i mean it was like the 12 days of crystal whatever but i was just like well you've ruined this meal now because i've got a fucking do of turn

Speaker 1 so was this recently brett when was this i know a couple of years ago was has ted Had Ted Lasso started? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, but wouldn't people have been more excited if you'd just gone, oh, fuck off? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can do that now. You can't do that to a gospel client, though, can you? Yeah.
I was also known Ted Lasso. So, say first,

Speaker 1 when it gets to you, go, do you know Ted Lasso? And when they go, yes, you go, well, fuck off. And then they'll be like, oh, brilliant.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They'll go, praise Jesus. Yeah, praise Jesus for Roy Kent.
But what if I go, do you know Ted Lasso? And they go, no. And then I go, oh,

Speaker 1 rings.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 That would be great.

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Speaker 1 What is the meal that made you feel better about the world? Are you Ped? This is a tricky one, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Because although I'd say most meals make me feel pretty good about the world if it's really nice, if you have a really good meal, you think, oh boy, everything's all right, really, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So in a way, you just asked me, what's the best meal I've had? Okay. It's the best meal you've had.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a very difficult question because obviously, when you think about feeling better about the world,

Speaker 1 it's like they just remind you of the stuff that's wrong with the world. And a lot of what's wrong with the world is just like uneven distribution of wealth and poverty.

Speaker 1 So, then you think feeling better about the world because I ate a meal is pretty awful. So, actually, I think this is impossible.
Oh, lasagna. Yeah, lasagna.

Speaker 1 I mean, what a lovely positive take on that question, Degini. Thank you.
Which is your favorite ingredient in a meal?

Speaker 1 Salt. lovely answer, very good answer.
It's got to be salt. Imagine a meal without salt.
I can't. Lucky charms without salt is not worth eating.
They do have salt in them, though, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 The most important thing in my kitchen, most important ingredient, if we are calling it an ingredient, I think we should.

Speaker 1 I've got a big pot of salt, a big pot of flaky salt, and anything I'm cooking, it has its place on the shelves with all the other condiments and seasonings, but it's barely on there because it just sits on the work surface because I'm just pinching salt into stuff all the time.

Speaker 1 It's so important. So salt.
Salt and fat are two of the most important things in cooking. And acid and heat.

Speaker 1 Well, I could have salt and fat. I'm not bothered about acid and heat necessarily.
I don't really understand. What's your answer, Ginny? I'd probably say at the minute, probably ginger.

Speaker 1 At the minute, I absolutely love when I can really, really taste the ginger in a meal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Had a really adorable moment recently where my parents visited and we went to a cafe near me and and they'd never had ginger shots before. My parents, they saw them on the menu and they said,

Speaker 1 What is that? I was like, you'll love them. Ordered us some.
They did love them.

Speaker 1 At the end, my dad said to another grown man who ran the cafe as he was paying, my dad went, those ginger shots were nice. And the guy was like, oh, good.
And my dad went, I love ginger to him.

Speaker 1 And the guy went, I love it too. And my dad went, three things that you can't cook without.
Ginger, chili, garlic. And the guy went, I agree.
I absolutely agree with all that.

Speaker 1 I love all three of those. And then they talked back and forth about how much they loved ginger, chili, and garlic.
And it was so cute and adorable. And they really bonded.

Speaker 1 They agreed on all three of them. Should they start a podcast of Menu Plus 30 or something? They could be a spin-off.
If they had a podcast called Ginger, Chili, Garlic,

Speaker 1 I think they could talk. They wouldn't need guests.
I think every week, the two of them going back and forth and going, I love ginger. I love ginger too.
Ginger, chili, and garlic. Oh, yes, please.

Speaker 1 At one point, I think they got onto Harissa, I think, and my dad said, Harissa's great. Put it in your dinner, sort it.

Speaker 1 And the guy was like, Yes,

Speaker 1 I love it. And they did a little mime as well of putting it in his dinner.
Does your dad cook? Not really.

Speaker 1 This whole conversation

Speaker 1 was absolute bullshit. What did he tell? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He'll add Harissa to a meal that my mom's already cooked. Right, I see, I see, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, a dog's just coming in. Oh, hello, Toast.
Oh.

Speaker 1 There's a dog come in. This dog loves comic relief, don't you? Toast loves comic relief, don't you, Toast?

Speaker 1 Any word for the listeners, Toast?

Speaker 1 No. Silent as ever.
It's got no words. Well, fuck.
He nearly fell over. It's half on me, half on Benito.
What meal inspired you to do something, the genie? Oh no, Ped.

Speaker 1 No, the format's fallen apart, is all I was going to say. Yes.
I think

Speaker 1 it's held pretty strong. Yeah, it's done all right.
We've managed to wrestle quite a few things out of seemingly nothing.

Speaker 1 I'd say this one, this one will slightly work better than the resurrection, if I may.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, this is for me, this is the one that's worked the best format-wise, until we get to what meal inspired you to do something.

Speaker 1 But then again, I felt the same with the question, what film inspired you to do something?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So maybe I'm just not a very, I've never been inspired to do anything.
No, no, I didn't understand that question when I was like...

Speaker 1 And I'm always the first person to get asked the questions as well.

Speaker 1 So you've not even road tested them with people yeah and i get asked what film inspires you to do something i'm like britt help me out what do people normally say i don't know you're the first one have you seen ted lasso well off yeah

Speaker 1 okay so your your answer is nothing ever inspired either of you to do anything the most inspiring thing

Speaker 1 this is my whole family found it inspirational at a meal was uh when my parents went out for a meal and they came home and uh they couldn't believe on one of their plates one of the courses uh there was a big lump of carrot that had been uh sculpted into the shape of a swan so they brought that home with them to show us uh show us it and uh we all thought it was it we all thought it was incredible that someone had been able to do that so we didn't then go on and do it ourselves but we found it inspiring just to know that that kind of thing existed in the world and people were sculpting carrots into swans i've been inspired to try and cook the thing at home that'll do i'll take it cheese at Cheese on a plate.

Speaker 1 Cheese on a plate. I'm inspired to do that.
Regularly, our podcast inspires James to go and cook things. Sure.

Speaker 1 Quite often, he'll listen to someone describing a recipe or something that they've cooked and he'll go, I'm going to do that tonight. Yep, and I do it.

Speaker 1 And sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't, but I'm always glad I gave it a go. So, you know, Simon Amstel's aubergine dish, whatever, pasta.
Tried that. Comes to mind.
You hated that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was horrible. It was pretty bad.
It was the only thing on his menu that sounded nice as well. We have reached end.

Speaker 1 And now I can't decide whether to send you to heaven or hell. One last thing.
You can give me one food that is meaningful in the hope I will spare you from the pits of old hell, you bastards.

Speaker 1 Which food? Can it be a drink, Brett?

Speaker 1 Okay. I know you're an emotional guy.
You love sentiment. You're going to love this.
I proposed to my wife in Japan. That night we went to a robot show

Speaker 1 it's not necessary i think with brett you have to clarify that's not a sex thing it's not a sex thing

Speaker 1 a robot show isn't robots going

Speaker 1 just loads of robots and it's like a big dance thing it's very tacky it's a lot of fun and they're not they're not fucking they're not fucking no one's fucking anyone no they for the fun i brought a little bottle of champagne to celebrate us getting engaged and i kept i kept the bottle so that's that's what i'd say you're going to give it to me yeah It's lovely.

Speaker 1 You can have the bottle as a memory of my love. Seems like someone wants to go to heaven.
What about you, Genie? Jesus.

Speaker 1 Watching Brett listen to that story, I felt like I was watching a robot show.

Speaker 1 Trying to muster up some sort of emotion and feeling. Normally, Brett is quite emotional, but it's because I prefaced it.
You know why? You know why?

Speaker 1 It's because my alarm's going off in the background. And I was like, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh, he's telling a beautiful story, and I've got to turn off a fucking alarm. Brett has an alarm for when he's supposed to be emotional.
Yeah, so emotion now. GD,

Speaker 1 what's your answer? I think if it's heaven and hell, I've got to really draw on my Christian upbringing here to know what the right answer will be for something meaningful food-wise.

Speaker 1 So I would go full, kind of like, what would Jesus say? And he would say, like,

Speaker 1 a single mustard seed. That's what he would say.
Single mustard seed. For from that, you can grow bountiful.

Speaker 1 I don't really like mustard. See, A seed then.
A single seed. Yeah, but you picked mustard and I don't like mustard.
Well, Jesus. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, sadly, I'm going to have to separate you. I've weighed up the evidence and based on bloody mustard and your perverted ways,

Speaker 1 Genie, you are going to hell. Head, Brambles.

Speaker 1 Your kindness and complicated marriage have made me sympathetic to your unique place.

Speaker 1 And you

Speaker 1 shall also be going to hell because I think Degini won't cope without you. I'm joking.
You're going to heaven. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Come on. I don't know.
We'll think about it. Perhaps I'll kill you both again and we'll see what happens in the future.
Good day. Thanks, Brett.
Thank you for coming.

Speaker 1 Well, there we are, James. Another successful podcast mashup.
Men used to be buried with. My brain is scrambled, man.
That mashup. It's crazy every time.

Speaker 1 But nice to hear, the lad. Lovely to hear, Brett.
Lovely to hear that he's doing well.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much to Brett for making time in his busy schedule. Schedule over there.
Oh, so sorry. Schedule.
We respect him very much, and he's our hero. Yes.

Speaker 1 So if you think we were being mean to him in that episode, it was just a little joke. Yeah, and if you think...

Speaker 1 Bret didn't get as many jabs in at them, they're on the cutting room floor and we've been done again. We've been done.
We've been done. Stitched up like a kipper, absolutely done once again.

Speaker 1 Well, thank you very much for listening. Oh, no, Brett.
Well, thank you very much for listening. Um, we just had to stop there because Brett started doing his intro during our intro.

Speaker 1 Yes, we were about, we were about to say, please donate if you can. Yeah, please donate if you can, and then Brett spoke over it.
So that's the sort of guy he is. Yeah, please donate if you can.

Speaker 1 It's a brilliant cause. Thank you very much for listening to the off-menu menus to be buried with Brett Goldstein and us

Speaker 1 podcast mashup in aid of coming relief. Thank you bye.
Thank you bye.

Speaker 2 Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont.

Speaker 1 And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 3 Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding.

Speaker 2 That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 3 This changes people's lives.

Speaker 2 If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up?

Speaker 3 An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals, because it used to be considered so honourable, like sumos and they all live together, sumos.

Speaker 2 No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just messaged loads of Derek's? I don't think people know that.
I emailed a hundred Derek's.

Speaker 1 I don't think it was Derek's. I thought it was Brian.
I'm so surprised. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook.

Speaker 2 Our podcast is out every Friday, so it's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again.

Speaker 3 Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains, one of the hottest podcasts. People are going crazy for this podcast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, please give it a listen.

Speaker 3 We're loaded up on BuzzBalls, we've got a laboo boo in both hands, and we are ready to screech.