Ep 172: Stanley Tucci

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James A.

Caster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised go to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking a big thick slice of chat, toasting that up in the fire of humor, pouring over the beans of good times, and tucking in just beans on toast, podcast of beans on toast.

That is the voice of their gamble there.

My name is James A.

Caston.

We own a dream restaurant and we invite a guest in every single week.

And we ask them their favourite ever start a main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is

Stanley Tucci.

Stanley Tucci.

I mean, what is there left to say about Stanley Tucci?

A wonderful actor, a wonderful food broadcaster.

He's found a real niche in food as of late, James.

I think we're talking global treasure here.

Oh, Glob Trege.

Glob Treasure territory here.

What an honor.

Very exciting.

I mean, everyone's talking about Stanley's food shows these days.

It really captured everyone's imagination and reinvigorated people's enthusiasm for food.

And that's the sort of person we like to come on the show, James.

Yes,

we have your comedians who come on here and they're a bit silly and they, you know, they have a laugh.

But what we...

What we also really enjoy is people who are genuinely enthusiastic about food.

Yes.

If you haven't seen Inside Man, it is available on iPlayer now, by the way.

Highly recommend watching it.

Stanley's Stanley's amazing series.

And also, the paperback of his book, Taste My Life and Food, is out now.

Now, Ed.

I'm very excited that we've got Stanley 2G on.

But as always, if he says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be gross or unacceptable, then we will kick him out of the dream restaurant.

We will.

And this week, the secret ingredient is dragon soup.

Now, this has been suggested by a listener.

Apparently, it's an energy drink.

Yes, now.

It's quite sort of alcoholic, 7.5%.

Very high in caffeine.

caffeine.

Yeah.

I'll put it as a secret ingredient, but, and I think it sounds horrible.

Yeah.

But I'd absolutely smash a dragon soup.

Sounds like you would smash a dragon soup.

It does sound horrible.

Morgana requested it.

Dan Morgan, I think, is the name of the person who suggested it, not Morgana Robinson.

Apologies, I thought it was Morgana.

No, no, it was Dan.

It was Dan Morgan.

I would, I mean, at a certain point of an evening.

Not me.

Okay.

I was at a wedding this weekend.

I think, come 11 o'clock at a wedding, I'd neck a dragon soup.

worry or an espresso martini is a posh dragon soup right is it I had my first ever espresso martini recently well that's bad news I'd never had one before luckily the person who made it for me came it to me and went oh I forgot the the sugar sieve of all this it's like some sugary ingredients meant to go in there went oh I forgot that so I had it and it was nice yeah but I didn't go completely loopy right and go this is all I'm gonna drink from now on so I think I had a narrow escape I'll make you an espresso martini one

next time you come over I don't know you've got to come over, man.

Yeah, I should come over.

But, you know,

I think by the sound of things, you're going to be high on dragon soup when I get over.

I'll be smashing on a dragon soup, baby.

Drink all the dragon soups.

Morgana furious with you.

I would be surprised if Stanley Tucci picks the dragon soup.

Yeah.

If he does, I mean,

that's got to be...

That's moment of the year at the British Podcast Awards.

Yeah.

Very exciting episode.

Looking forward to chatting to Stanley.

You know what?

I've got a lot of people in my family who are big fans of Stanley.

They're going to be very jealous that I'm doing this.

And I might buy all my family taste, My Life and Food for Christmas this year.

Is it fair to say that your fam are fans of Stan?

Stan fan fat fat.

You've got Stan fans in your fam.

Stan.

Stan stands.

Stan Stan.

Yes.

You've got Stan Stans in my fam?

In your fan fans.

Look, we've all got Stan Stans in our fan fams.

Yep.

It was worth it.

It's worth it to hear Ed Ed sort it out.

Ed sort it out for me.

It's the last episode of the series, James.

Last episode of series eight.

What a series it's been.

What a series it's been.

Twists and turns.

So many wonderful guests.

Thank you to all the guests who come on the podcast, this series.

Thank you to everyone who's been listening to this series as well.

Never thought we'd do eight series.

No, yeah, I did.

Also, of course, big thanks to everyone at Plosive.

The Great Benito, Naomi.

Alice and Toast.

Yes.

The full team.

The dream team.

One of them just runs around the office all day, distracting everyone and wiggling their bum around.

But then, when he hits record, he really calms down.

Yeah, yes, yes.

Saw it coming a mile off the post line, but still funny.

Still funny.

Really good.

It was a mile off.

It was a mile.

It was a mile off, but what a wonderful mile.

I enjoyed that mile.

Worth it.

This is the off-menu menu of Stanley.

Welcome, Stanley, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Welcome, Stanley Tucci to the Dream Restaurant.

We're going to be expecting you for some time.

Here we are.

The genie's here, ready to take your order, Stanley.

Okay.

You're very impressed by the genie?

You seem completely unfazed by the presence of a genie.

No, it's just because I have a little cold, that's all.

Oh, really?

Yeah, that's all.

You've seen magical things in films.

The genie's not going to...

Yeah, the genie on a podcast isn't going to be.

No.

You've been in the MCU.

Yeah, no there's nothing really visual here just it's sound just sound yeah

just sound that's how we would describe to people who don't know what podcasts are that's what i say to them yeah just sound just sound yeah

no visuals yeah

i also love the idea of you seeing a genie in real life uh and uh the genie going are you okay you don't seem anyone sorry i have a little cold i'm under the weather yeah yeah

sorry

get back in the bottle

has there been a film that you've done where

you do some CGIs?

So you do act with a tennis ball or whatever.

And then you see it on the screen.

What's the most amazing one when you're going?

Whoa, that looks like...

I think those Transformer movies are

incredible.

You don't know what you're doing.

You have no idea what's happening.

It's all happening so fast.

And they're think guys with tennis balls, you know on big sticks.

And you go, look over there, look over there, look over there, be afraid, be afraid.

Be angry, be angry, be sad, be sad.

Run, Run, run, run!

I never quite know what I'm doing, but you know, I just do what they say.

Has there ever been one where you've watched it back and gone, oh, no.

What did they put there, that is?

I can't believe they made me run away from that thing.

It looks like it's not.

No, they were all pretty impressive, I have to say.

Yeah.

I mean, because somebody like Michael Bay, he has those images in his mind.

He's been making those movies forever.

They are pretty impressive when you just think about it.

And a lot of people, he does it so quickly.

A lot lot of people, it'll be quite a laborious process, you know.

But he's like, I can just do it like this.

Put it in there, do that, do that, don't worry about it.

I'll put it in later.

Everything is, I'll put it in later.

The whole thing.

Yeah.

He'll put us in later, probably, you know.

That'll happen someday.

Yeah.

The whole filmmaking process is just three tennis balls all pointed towards each other.

Eventually, that's what it will be.

The only guys working are going to be the tennis ball guys.

Yeah.

The ones holding the sticks.

Yeah, that's what Roger Federer is going to do now.

you just go straight into the special thing what's the abba thing that they that

holograms they've got holograms in yeah the venue in stratford yeah so they just god knows how much money they're all making every night and they're not even there yeah i want that job yeah yeah but they had to build the venue especially for it yeah really as well yeah yeah so there's this i i i was meant to go to that i had tickets to go but it was uh the day of the queen's funeral oh so so you had to go to that instead yeah

yeah and not a lot of of people know this, but that was a hologram, too.

Yeah.

For her entire career?

Yeah, her whole career.

She was never.

It was always had a hologram with it.

She's been dead for years, hasn't she?

Yeah, she's a long time.

It's all been a very long time.

And

we've been duped by a hologram.

Normally at the start of the podcast, we'd ask if someone is a foodie or not, but we already know that with you, that you're a big-time foodie.

When did that start?

Your love affair with food?

I think from birth, you know, my family, both sides, very

just in love with food.

And the way food was treated in our house was, you know, it was a very precious thing.

And that's something that is part of the Italian culture and heritage.

My mom was an amazing cook.

She's still alive at 86.

My dad is 92.

You don't get to live that long without a really good diet.

And it was great food.

So it always meant a great deal to me.

But as I got older, I realized that it was kind of everything for me.

And it always found its way

somehow into into my life and and then eventually into my work and like how long were you thinking about uh like when you're you know acting for years was there always a part of you thinking i want to do like a food show i want to do like you know something that maybe people wouldn't expect from me the way i do like a food travel show or well yeah i mean i had the idea that you know the cnn series that we're doing right searching for italy and I had the idea about 15 years ago or so, but I had already sort of entered into the food world, having made this movie Big Night, which was 27 years ago.

It sort of ushered me into the food world.

And I got to know chefs and I would, you know, go on cooking shows or whatever.

And I loved that.

And I thought, well, I really, really want to do something that nobody has done before with Italy.

Not just be in a studio and cook recipes from different regions, but to really break those regions down and while you're there in them and create, the original idea was that that you'd be creating like a dinner party each episode would be one you'd situate yourself into in a place

me and like a chef and then we would go out and go shopping we had them wake up have a cup of coffee it would be like a documentary or like almost like fly on the wall sort of thing and then we'd have a cup of coffee go over the menu we'd go our separate ways and we'd get all the whatever you needed for the thing and come back and i would be the conduit for the audience because the chef would be the one and then i would just sort of help him or whatever.

And then we'd throw a dinner party.

And we'd have people arrive and blah, blah, blah.

That was sort of, but we do it in every region.

It's an idea that could work one day.

But anyway, we decided on this format for the show.

That was the most incredibly long, boring.

Not boring.

I would love to see that show.

I would love to see

the dinner party in different regions.

And you and the chef, I suppose.

It's tempting.

Forget when you listen to that.

Is this going to go?

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

I'm looking forward to winning.

When that's a real show.

I want to do one maybe in the future where I'm just in my house and people come over, we go shopping, we talk about whatever, we cook and we eat.

That's all they want from a food show.

Yeah, people love that with food shows as well because it's about comfort a lot of the times, isn't it?

So

you want to feel like you're at someone's house.

You want to feel like you're

part of a social gathering.

Yeah, that's what it is.

I mean, and that's one of the main reasons why I love it is because it's about communing with people.

It's about sharing with people and getting to know people.

And, you know, you have wine, you have whatever, and everybody gets a little relaxed.

And that's the way it should be.

Yeah.

I remember seeing you on, I think, Saturday Kitchen making a cocktail, whiskey cocktail.

Yeah, just, yeah, a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, and talking about your dad would always, like,

if anyone went around, they'd always have.

Always.

He'd say, what can I get you to drink?

Yeah, what can I get you to drink?

Yeah.

As soon as they, you know, they would have dinner parties on a Friday night, Saturday night or something.

No, it was just so cool.

You know, everybody got dressed up.

Yeah.

Not like nowadays where people show up in like their underwear

you're just like really you didn't want to put a pair of pants on you know

no i like that i like it when yeah people put a bit of effort in and then cocktail cocktails on arrival yeah love that yeah love that i was talking to a friend the other day who um he said the most dangerous skill he learned was how to make good cocktails because now it's a space yeah

you do i know i went to somebody's birthday party the other night and like the friends through the school through the kids you know really nice couple.

And I walked in, and her parents were there, and other people were there.

And her mother says, So I hear that you make a very mean cocktail.

And I was like, Well, yeah, I mean, you know, she goes, I go, I'll make you one.

What do you want?

She said, I'm Negroni.

And of course, they didn't have anything for a Negroni.

So I went, I can't make you a Negroni.

Do you want a martini?

Yes, I'd love a martini.

And suddenly there were orders for seven martinis.

And I was, so I spent the first, you know, 40 minutes just making, you know, working.

I mean, I was like, this is, it's not my house

i didn't bite you over you know yeah you walk into someone else's house they go it's what you can get yeah right yeah right so i wanted to sit down and she's making me a drink you know it's so funny that that she asked for a negroni but she knows what she has in her own house

i'll have a negroni piss down

you have none of those things

well you won't be getting a tip with that all the cue

yeah i went through uh i went through a making martinis at home during lockdown phase which i had to end quite quickly because that was sitting in front of the TV with a martini in a proper glass.

Yeah.

It doesn't feel right.

No, it doesn't.

No, it's meant to be.

It's sort of sad almost.

Yeah.

Oh, hugely sad.

If you have a book,

it's different.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know why.

A book.

Yeah, that's way better.

It's the same with anything, though, I think.

A book makes everything feel slightly more.

If you're drinking a glass of red wine alone, if you're reading a book.

Even if you just keep reading the same page over and over.

Yeah, yeah.

Which inevitably happens.

I mean, the one attempt I had at making a cocktail in lockdown was when

I feel I've talked about some of this on the podcast before, but when someone sent me a load of alcohol-free beer, it was unwanted.

I didn't want it.

So I started adding whiskey to it, and it tasted really delicious.

And then I started adding, I like chucking a bit of lime juice in there as well.

And I was like, this is such a great cocktail.

I'm going to make it in a cocktail shaker.

So I did that.

And obviously, it's beer.

So as soon as I shook it, the whole thing exploded.

Yeah.

Just all over me because I didn't even think that far ahead.

Just like two shakes and then boom.

You didn't think

that it was effervescent.

Nope.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's sadder than the martini thing, right?

That's sadder than the martini thing.

Well, first of all, adding alcohol to alcohol-free beer is really funny.

Did it really taste good, though?

It tasted great because as soon as you add the, it just tastes like a normal boilermaker.

Oh, yeah, right.

As soon as you added it, because like obviously alcohol-free beer, you get that half a taste that's like, oh, this isn't real beer.

But as soon as you add alcohol to it problem solved

that was the issue with that all along yeah so it was like i called it a boiler faker the cocktail uh because it was alcohol free beer

with the and that was delicious and then later on uh guinness sent us um some alcohol free guineses and i added um prosecco to that and made a a black velveteen and that was delicious oh you'd like to try that i had a black velvet the other night yeah is that really a drink black velvet is a drink yeah the black velvet the guinness and champagne oh i can remember that and I went to Rules the other night and they serve it in pewter tankards.

And it's ice cold in a pewter tankard, Guinness and Champagne.

It's fantastic.

The only place I've had it as well.

And I had it because I copied Clang David Mitchell.

Yeah.

So he ordered one and I was like, well, I'm just going to copy him because that sounds great.

Never had it before.

And it was, it was.

Of course you went to Rules with David Mitchell.

Yeah, of course.

You copied David Mitchell

and Victoria.

And yeah, just copied the drinks order.

Loved it.

And then in lockdown, when I got the alcohol-free a Guinness, I was like, I know exactly what I'm doing with this.

Black Velvetine.

I do love Guinness.

I was talking about it the other day with my son.

He's six.

No.

My older son, who's 22, and we were talking about Guinness and how much we love Guinness and how, like, he said, you got to go to the right place.

You know, there's certain pubs where...

They can't pull a pint.

You know, he's American, but he's lived here for a long time.

So he talks like that.

And he said, there's this one place, there's this one bar.

I can't remember.

In London, someplace, he goes, they pour the best Guinness ever.

Wow.

And I wasn't aware of that.

That it changes, if it sits too long

in the thing, that it changes the enzymes or something.

I don't know what it is.

I think there's so many variables, and it's like how clean they're keeping the lines and all of that.

And then how they're pouring it.

And even people are specific about the glass.

It has to be like the old school Guinness glass.

The one that went like this?

Yeah, like that, but not the one with like the, there's like some that have got like a recessed glass harp in them.

not that

don't go near that and then the way the stuff they wash the glass with as well because what people want is for the foam to stick to the side of the glass on the way down and if you wash them too almost too thoroughly it's just a clean glass all the way down oh so you want it kind of a dirty glass kind of a dirty glass yeah i mean i this is another rabbit hole i've gone down um i i watch quite a lot of guinness youtube videos you do really

new things about him ever yet wow the guinness guru shout out to the guinness guru who who goes around different pubs testing the guinness yeah

Has has he found...

You're going to go on and discover it's your son.

Actually, your son is the Guinness guru.

I mean, I think all of the best places are in Ireland.

So yeah,

you've got to get that over there really for the best Guinness.

I remember going to the Guinness factory.

Yeah.

It was always weird to call it a factory.

But, you know, in Dublin, this is a long, long time ago.

It was so much fun.

Like the tour, like the weird tour they give you and everything.

But then you go down and you give your chits in, right?

Your little, and you get two half pints of Guinness, right?

They don't give you a big one.

They give you two small ones.

I was like, why?

It was, to this day, I was like, that's like a, that's a seven course meal.

I mean, that's like in a glass.

It was incredible.

Yeah.

Incredible.

It tasted very different than other Guinness.

Yeah.

Well, I was in Belfast last.

It was to do Mastermind.

And there was a pub that everyone said, you've got to go there and get a Guinness.

Yes.

Yeah.

And it was like, you've got to go there.

And me and Phil Wang, I managed to convince Phil Wang to come out for a seafood chowder with me but he refused to stay out and have a guinness because he wanted to go and revise for mastermind because he's an absolute dweep

oh no that's so good it's bad stuff right yeah it's awful and he won but at what cost yeah

um your paperback taste my life in food is out now so that means like the hardback's already been a roaring success yeah it was a yeah it did really really well just got a nice royalty check

guinness on me um yeah What's the book about for people who don't know?

It's just basically My Life Through Food, which is the title or subtitle of the book.

And it's from my childhood and then up to today

and how food has influenced my life and my work.

And

the fact that I realized having been diagnosed with cancer about five years ago,

throat cancer, that and when you can't eat, when you can't drink, you can't do anything, that I thought, well, I don't really want to live anymore if I can't do those things.

Luckily, I can do those things now.

But it was really devastating.

And so that experience was sort of a key element for me in writing the book because everything led up to that.

And it's just like food on movie sets or food when you're traveling, stories about my family and all that sort of stuff.

But everything is seen through the prism of food.

And there were some people who read the book and said, oh, we want more Hollywood gossip or we want more film stuff.

It's like, did you see the title of that?

You know, it's like, what?

You know, what do you gossip about what?

So-and-so was whatever on set.

You're like, that's fascinating.

Yeah.

Who cares?

Yeah.

Who cares?

Only if it's connected to food, though, right?

You could

give a little bit of gossip

around the craft service table.

Yeah.

Yes, which is usually pretty awful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I can't really imagine anyone coming out with like, you know, an actor or celebrity coming out of a book that's like my life and gossip.

Yeah, right, yeah.

It's just ridiculous.

It's really sad.

But it's like it, you know, like when you go on a press junk, there's a story in there about Meryl Streep and I eating lunch with other cast members.

And, you know, we were in France and we ordered an Andouette.

Do you know what that is?

No.

Do you know what it is?

He looked like he did know.

Yeah.

It's like a sausage, but with horrid stuff in it, right?

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, we didn't know that.

So we ordered this thing, and

we thought, oh, we love Andouille sausages.

And Andree sausages in the South, in America, you get Andouille sausages like New Orleans.

It's really delicious.

It's great.

We thought, great.

So Andouillette must be a smaller version of an Andouille sausage.

Everyone would assume that, surely.

Everyone, yes.

Anyone who

has any kind of something.

And so

they bring this thing.

Basically, it looks like a horse cock.

And I was like, what the fuck is that?

What is that?

And I look at Merrill and I go,

that was not what I expected.

She goes, no, no, no.

We had all ordered it.

We were like, okay, well, give it a try.

We were thinking we were so worldly, like, oh, I'm doing it, yeah, yeah.

You can

cut it, put it in your mouth.

Literally, it didn't even get past my uvula.

And I spat it out.

I was so, I was like,

which sounded, that sounds really French.

Yeah, it was, yeah, yeah.

And all I was saying was,

I was, it was so awful.

And I was like, oh, God, what is that?

That just tastes like, you know, shit.

And Meryl goes, yes, well, it does have a bit of the barnyard.

And it was just awful.

And we just couldn't eat it.

And felt so bad because the people were so nice in the restaurant, which is unusual for France.

And the guy came over and he said, are you enjoying the brothel?

And we were like, oh, yeah, it's fantastic.

Yeah.

You like the Andouette?

I was like, yeah, no, it's really good.

It's just different from other Andriettes we've had.

So, you know, and he goes,

Would you like something else?

Yes.

Can we have four omelets?

Yeah.

I'm sure that happens multiple times a day.

I'm sure.

Yeah, I'm sure.

And some people, but it's prized by some people in that region.

And I think Lyon, too, or something.

You know, it's like, it's like this thing.

They're devoted to it.

But they're probably very proud of the fact that other people don't like it as well, right?

Yes.

Well, I wrote in the book, I said, it's the reasons the Germans left Normandy.

Because we were in Normandy.

I said, it wasn't the Allies' invasion.

It was the fucking Andouer.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Drove them away.

Episode of Bandit Brothers.

But it's like, oh, that's my angle.

It's part of my evil.

Get out of here.

This is awful.

Literally awful.

We always start with still a sparkling water for your dream meal.

Do you have a preference?

I do like sparkling.

I can't drink it as much as I used to simply because of the cancer stuff.

But now I can drink it for the most part.

But sparkling, let's say.

Yeah, sparkling would be the go-to.

How sparkling are you wanting it?

When you get a glass of sparkling water, do you want it to be jumping, busy as possible?

Do you want it nice and mellow?

Mellow.

Yeah.

Mellow.

Sort of settle your stomach.

Yeah.

Some of them are too bubbly.

Ah, but this is a stomach settler.

They are too bubbly, some of them.

It's not pleasant.

Yeah, when you see them get gas.

When you see them leaping off the top, when you see the bubbles leaping around like fleas on the top, I'm not interested.

Yeah, like little fleas like fleas.

Little fleas dancing around.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Little fleas.

You're the first person who said a stomach settler.

A lot of people...

when they come on the pod and they and they talk about sparkling water, they focus on how it feels in the mouth, the bubbles in the mouth.

No one has ever really said about the actual benefits benefits of it set in the stomach.

It does, supposedly.

That's what it does.

And that's why so much of the world drinks it.

See, it's taken a lot of episodes to get to that.

Yeah, it has.

But we finally got here.

We've got a lot of episodes.

We can finally quit the pod.

So many people have come on who choose still water and go, why would people ever drink sparkling water?

They hate it.

They think it's just a thing to look fancy.

That's what a lot of people say is they pick sparkling water because it's like a fancy version of water.

No.

No.

No, it's good.

It helps you digest and everything.

It has minerals in it.

They used to drink.

I mean a lot still in Italy, you know, in certain countries,

a lot of that sparkling water is like sulfurous water.

You know, I remember like even in like a gym in a hotel in Italy years and years ago, I had like a big water cooler and I was like, oh, working out and you're like, oh, I'm so thirsty.

And it was like sulfur water.

It's like, oh, fuck, what is that?

You know, it's just.

Was it sparkling water in there?

Yeah, yeah, it was sparkling, sulfury water.

And I was like, who would do that?

You know, but it's really good.

The thing is, it's really good for you.

Yeah.

You know, everyone burping in the gym?

Was there a lot of burping?

Yeah, there was a burping and farting.

The water smelled like farts.

Fart water.

Would you have for your dream meal?

You don't want the fart water water?

No, I don't want fart water.

No, no, you would like.

You take a bath in it.

That's good for you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, like

no one would know.

No one would know.

Not even you.

Yeah, yeah.

did i fart who knows

i don't know which what's me and what's not the barbell echo it's surrounded by eggy bubbles already i don't i don't know where i begin

and the water ends yeah

but is there is there a particular brand of water that you would go for if you're well yeah i have a deal with san pellegrino so there you go yes yes oh

let's get into the deal with the san pellegrin no i really do i really do love it they asked me to you know be their sort of ambassador and a couple years ago and i was like yeah are you kidding i love it great it's great stuff yeah what does it entail do you have duties as the ambassador for san pellegrino i do i do i um i just drink it

on camera yeah and then they give me money you know no they um yeah you're just sort of doing promotional stuff it's mostly sort of all on the internet and um but it's really it's actually really fun to shoot it we shot up where they where they bottle the water

about a year and a half ago.

We filmed there.

And I'm going to film some stuff this week here.

You know, they're just ads for it and stuff that'll come up, you know, on your on your browser or whatever that is.

You know what I mean?

So, but it's actually really, it's really fun.

And it's a, it's a product that's like, that's so easy to go, I really like this because I actually do really like it.

Yeah.

But hugely classy that you didn't bring up the deal until we really backed you into a corner about it.

Oh, yeah, to bring up what?

The deal until we backed you into a corner about it.

Straight away.

We could have said still sparkling water, but you're going to be in the corner.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When my first needs quenching, I need for a glass of sad pelloguino it could have it could have been straight away yeah we don't have a deal with any water companies yet do we not yet which is like you'd think you know still a sparkling we we say it every episode lots of british water companies yeah good spring water

i hate harrogate spring water though yeah this has come up before he has a real thing against the harrogat why what is it why it to me it tastes like they filled it up from the tap and oh yeah but that doesn't go down well if you tell people of harrogate that yeah yeah They're very proud of their water.

I can imagine.

Yeah.

There's a lot of things they don't like.

They don't like it if you slug off tea rooms in Harrogate either, so don't do that.

Their tea rooms are objectively nice, but if you do stand-up comedy there and for your own amusement, you tell them that the tea rooms are shit.

They really don't like it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because they use nails.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

What do you expect?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to blame button myself for my bad gigs.

This is James's entire stand-up comedy career is saying things on stage that deliberately anger the audience.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But just petty things.

Yeah, oh, yeah, not usual upsetting things.

Yeah, go to Sheffield.

I know they like Henderson's relish, so I go on and say Hendo's shit.

And then they react like I've just committed a crime.

It's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of fun.

I want to know more about where it's bottled before we continue on.

Please.

If I may.

Is it in...

Is it Italy?

It's in Italy, yeah.

Like around

Bergamo.

So this is like...

Northern Italy.

And did you get to go through the whole factory?

No, I didn't really get to go through the factory.

I was really sad.

We were just up in that town.

But no,

I didn't get to go in the factory.

It's not like the Guinness factory.

No.

No.

No.

But they give you the little tokens at the end.

You have two tiny glasses.

Two little tiny glasses.

Two half bites.

Yeah.

San Bellegrido.

Those guys.

It's a second course meal.

Pop-a-dums or bread.

Pop-doms or bread, Standy Tucci.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Did you, I'm sorry?

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Bread.

I do like a pop-adam.

Yeah.

I actually love them.

But bread I think is more versatile.

Sure.

Yeah.

With Indian food, it makes perfect sense.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Delicious.

Is there any specific type of bread that is your go-to or the best bread you've ever had?

See, it's really weird because in Italy, you don't necessarily have great bread.

I mean, particularly up north, you have like there's no salt in it mostly in Umbria and in Tuscany.

You'll get better bread the farther south you go, but then it also starts to become a little sweeter.

Right.

So it's it's kind of odd.

The best bread is probably like the bread that people bake at home.

You know, like the bread my grandmother would make or my mom would make.

It's just like incredible.

Because I think from like the Italian food that makes it to the UK, like what everyone would describe as Italian food, the bread feels like quite an important part of that because the people would always be able to say focaccia or chevato.

Yeah.

Or dough oil.

Yeah.

Pizza express dough boxes.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, my kids love that.

Yeah.

It's good stuff.

Yeah.

But no, you're right.

Focaccia,

that's where, yeah, there are so many different iterations of it, right?

So focaccia, yes.

Chiabata, yeah.

I think chiabata is a relatively new thing.

I don't think that's like an old

I mean, like a real, just simple country bread is what you want.

But personally, I mean, when you're in France, it just eclipses everything.

Yeah.

France and Germany.

Germany are the biggest bread eaters in the world.

You don't hear a lot about the German breads, though.

No, there's a huge huge number of variety of bread.

That's what I would think.

If someone says German bread to me, I just think of a pretzel immediately.

In the book, I wrote about the shooting in Germany and they would serve this breakfast in the morning.

It was the most incredible breakfast I'd ever seen.

It was huge.

Just all different kinds of meats and cheeses and 18,000 different kinds of bread.

Like amazing breads.

A lot of sort of dark...

like dark rice.

Yeah, dark.

Dark rice, pumpernickels, you know, black bread, all that stuff.

That's good stuff.

And then beautiful white rolls.

How do you deal with that at breakfast, though?

Because I would just go crazy.

If it's like meats and cheeses and breads, next thing you know, I've had eight lunches.

And it's not even lunch yet.

You kind of have to be careful.

Because, you know, because then you got to go film all day.

So, yeah.

But like filming here on one movie, like

I wrote about it, that there was a really good caterer, and they would do a...

Again, like a huge breakfast with sausages and eggs and all that sort of stuff.

And I had never had like a sausage and egg bap.

Does that go?

Yeah.

Oh man, I was like, I literally, I thought it was a long shoot.

It was a five-month shoot.

Yeah.

And by like the sixth week, I was like, I have got, I'm going to have a stroke by the time I finish this movie.

I mean, it's like, I can't do this every day.

It was so delicious.

Was it a sausage and egg bap every morning?

Yeah.

Every morning.

And I thought, I'm not going to do it today.

It was literally like that.

It was like, I'm not going to drink before 12.

You know what I mean?

It was like, I'm not going to, like, you'd work out, you know, in the morning before you go to work.

So you're all sort of like starving and everything.

And you're like, no, I'll just like egg whites or something.

And then you're like, just give me the sausage bat egg thing,

please.

Or a gov, you know, and you're like, oh, it is mad though, isn't it?

Like, especially with English breakfasts.

You just think, how is this breakfast?

Because this just ruins a day, some of those breakfasts.

But it's obviously like, it comes from a tradition where people were eating that and then doing heavy manual labor for the rest of the day exactly but now that's massively changed like like most people aren't working

what we're doing right now sitting down exactly yeah but the breakfast that's the same

yeah and then like hash browns yeah or something that's like how do you stop how do you not eat it yeah now i've had the experience of going to america ordering hash browns and discovering they're different totally here yeah unless you go to mcdonald's yeah You're right.

And then they're like more like they're a crispy thing in a little shape.

Sort of encased.

Yeah.

Yeah, a bit more.

Yeah.

But yeah, hash browns in America is potatoes chopped up with peppers and onions.

So I think I still, I would say that I prefer hash browns here, but maybe it's because I grew up here.

What's your favorite hash browns of the two?

The ones here.

The ones here.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, great.

You know, they're like,

you can make them.

Like it's a chef I knew who taught me how to make them.

And the key thing is like you take, you grate the potato and and you grate some onion and then you squeeze all the water out of it like you let it you salt it and let it just and then squeeze it squeeze so there's no water left then

cook it in a pan with clarified butter not regular butter because it'll burn and you just cook it in clarified butter slowly and it gets that beautiful crunchy crispy

oh my god my son goes he goes completely crazy for him i made it for him on his birthday

i'm picturing him there with just like hash browns and guinness

and he knows his best birthday was like

yeah yeah

before we move on to your menu proper yeah i feel like we need to get more specific with the bread because there is a bunch of different breads your grandmother makes your mother the bread in france bread in germany yeah at the big breakfast for your dream meal is there a specific bread from one of those that you would want to start the meal off I think probably like a really, really good focaccia or schiaci, which is what they make in Florence.

Yeah.

How is that different to focaccia as we might know focaccia here is a little bit fluffier right which to me doesn't really work in in floor in florence they have a it's a focaccia but it's really called a schiaciata and it's thinner and it's pressed down quite a bit but also in liguria they have a focaccia that is similar to that with lots of salt you know they all have lots of salt and oil and it's just like the greatest thing

i mean it's like just that yeah that's why you don't really need anything else.

So you don't even need the oil around.

You can just have it as that.

Just the bread with olive oil and tons of salt.

Because I guess if it's thinner as well, the oil is distributed more evenly.

Yeah, I think so.

And it just has that nice crunch to it.

Right.

Great style.

Amazing choice.

Yeah.

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So your dream starter.

It's a hard one.

I almost just want to say oysters.

Like really, really good oysters.

Yeah.

But kind of oysters like with nothing.

And then maybe

like a couple oysters Rockefeller, which I only recently had.

I hadn't had them for a long time.

And they were really good.

Yeah.

Because oysters are just, they kind of give you energy.

They give you like life, you know.

And they don't.

Spoil the main restaurant.

No, exactly.

They don't feel like it's just getting the mouth ready.

Yeah.

I went to a restaurant recently in Stockholm.

Oh, wow.

And I won't name it because I'm about to to slag it off

all right

but it'd be pretty easy to figure it out based on what i'm about to say but the whole thing was oh you've yeah this this is we're not adding anything to anything so it's like we're just giving you it like one ingredient dishes and all this and me and my friend were quite excited about this because uh on the menu it's like we knew we knew that there was uh the menu changes a lot but there's like dishes that are just one ingredient dishes that are two ingredients and dishes that are three ingredients and you're like right so this is going to be a place where we're assuming they get the best produce.

So they just show you how good something can taste if you just like, if you cultivate it properly and you and it's stored in a certain way.

And here's this, the one thing, but it tastes incredible.

Instead, it was just stuff that you would normally have.

So oysters, for example, was one of the things where you're like, yeah, well, that's

anywhere I go, that's what an oyster is.

And then you have it and go, well, that's not the best oyster I've had.

And they're like, yep, one ingredient though.

We're sticking to the rules.

Okay.

And then everything was that.

Everything was just smoked salmon.

It might as well be out of a packet from Marks and Speaker.

That's so weird.

And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I like smoked salmon, sure.

But I thought this was going to be the best smoked salmon of my life.

But instead, you're just going, here's another raw thing.

An apple.

That was one of them.

Fuck off.

Come on.

It's so pretentious.

Yeah, yeah.

It was annoying.

An apple.

I'm angry.

Yeah.

No, really.

Yeah, I remember going to this restaurant.

I had been to it a few times.

And I'm not going to to name it.

And it really heralded amazing.

I went and were with my kids when they were younger, and they came over, and the kids were like fucking starving, you know.

And I'm like, can we

get some bread?

Just like a little bread, just to get, you know, because the kids are, they go, no, I'm sorry.

The chef does not like to serve bread.

for the meal because then you won't eat your meal properly.

I was like, what is he, my mother?

Do you know what I mean?

Okay, fine, all right.

So, and then they were like, we have a little, we have a little appetizer coming.

And we were like, okay.

And little was really the right word for it because it came, they brought it out on a slate, which is annoying.

And you're like, you ran out of plates?

You just got from the roof.

You just got like a tile.

So they bring it out and it was little radishes, little carrots, little cube, but tiny, like, but almost like you're like, is that an an experiment?

Like, what is that?

And the kids, and the kids are like, I'm starving, I'm starving.

And they bring this thing, and it's just these little tiny things.

It was very beautiful.

And I was like, so is that it?

And they were like, yes, yes, yes.

And then they said, now, today,

the chef, this is a vegetable-based day, our mains are vegetables today,

and he's treating carrots as though they were meat.

And I was like,

what?

Was he milking them?

What is he doing?

I don't get it.

Like, I don't get it.

And they were like, so they brought out like a big fucking carrot, you know, like sliced and grilled or whatever.

And you're like, okay.

And, you know, for $8,000, you know, we walked out of there starving, went home and made dinner.

Yeah.

You know, it was just so pretentious.

Yeah, ate all the bread you could.

I've spoken about this on the podcast before.

In a positive light, though, actually, it was very tasty.

I went to a restaurant it was a vegan restaurant and they did carrot tartare and they do it table side with like an old school mincer oh that's cool so like they're doing the carrot through there so they're treating carrots like meat but it was a bit more fun it was a bit more fun that's playful that's playful yeah it's playful yeah yeah yes see what you think about this about the same restaurant as well in the corner of the room is the toilet and you walk in there

Is this the one ingredient place?

Yeah, this is the one ingredient place.

And you walk into the toilet and there is a massive mirror that fills the wall, but it's only a mirror their side.

So the diners are there.

They've got a big mirror there.

They can see their reflections.

You in the toilet can see through to the whole of the of where people are eating.

And

as someone who stands up to urinate, I felt like I was just getting it out in front of everyone.

No.

No way.

That's so disconcerting.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think I could.

If you had to poo.

Yeah.

yeah yeah do you know what i mean i couldn't do it no yeah oh there's no one pooing that is the worst that is just weird yeah but they're weird people no one's shuffling out a one ingredient poo in that place

you don't need to poo offies with that meal yeah you need

them yeah

but what's worse though is i bet there's people who go in there and go oh i like this yeah there's people who enjoy doing that yeah i reckon

but they're people who don't know food right when my friend henry went in there for a week when he came out i told them that uh when you went in there they flipped a switch and everyone could see your fish

everyone saw your dick it's really fun for me telling that

that is insane though yeah yeah it's a mad place also he's a

he's a vegetarian but eats fish and he told them before because we we said just like bring us out whatever just whatever you would recommend just bring it out and he said oh but you know i'm a vegetarian but i do eat fish and they brought the oysters out and he wasn't expecting that and he was like i've never had an oyster before i was like they're brilliant have one and he he literally similar to you and the sausage earlier, it went in.

And then while still maintaining eye contact with me, he spat it back into this yellow.

And I was like, thanks for that.

That's like the start of our meal.

And he left his oyster.

So he left that there.

I ate all the other oysters.

And when they came to collect the plates, they went, no one's eating this oyster?

And he went, oh,

I don't really like oysters.

And she went, okay, well, just so you know, oysters count as fish.

So next time, next time you might want to not tell people you eat fish.

What?

And then walked away without it.

He got properly told off.

Oh my god.

Oh my God, what an awful place.

It's like hell.

Yeah.

Also,

but the way that he kind of like consoled himself was that they seemed very, you know, as they should be, very anti-waste there.

So I was like, if it's any consolation, Henry, I'm pretty sure she's gone into that kitchen and eaten that oyster that you spat out.

So

if it makes you feel better, I think you just, you know, did what we all worry that waitresses do to us.

Yeah.

But you reversed it.

Yeah.

And it's it's not even your fault and he went for a piss and everyone saw his dick

so not oysters from that place not oysters no not oysters with oysters

yeah yeah with a couple of a couple of rockefellers because i i was always quite i was like weird about cooked oysters because yeah like the raw is so nice i know i know but then i've had them recently where they've been amazing even on we did our dream menus for our 100th episode

and i buy like these meal kits from a place called decatur who do new orleans boils and all sorts of stuff oh wow wow.

Yeah.

All right.

These oysters that you do, they send this amazing pecorino garlic butter that you put on them and then do them on the barbecue.

And that is just the best.

Oh.

And they're cooked just enough to still have a bite to them.

Yeah.

The butter is just insane.

Oh, that's amazing.

But it's like even like a fried oyster.

You know, there's a place, I remember this place in Vancouver.

I can't remember the name of it now, but I used to go all the time when I was working there.

So much stuff shoots there.

And I would just sit at the bar and they had these really cool things.

They have them in Grandson too, the oyster bar.

So they have the big soup things that sit on a bar.

Do you know what I mean?

And they heat the soup up in it.

Right.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

And then they tip it like that and they serve your soup from it.

It's really cool.

Like they're right in front of you.

And so they have those and then they do raw oysters and then they do fried oysters.

They were literally the best fried oysters I've ever had in my life.

Like you could not stop eating them.

Do you want, do you want those as well in your oysters?

Kind of, yeah.

Yeah, we'll try to get it.

We'll try to have them to your oyster starter as well so you can have a bunch of oysters.

Thank you.

I was on honeymoon in May in California.

We were driving Pacific Coast Highway and stopped at a couple of places.

Thank you very much.

And had like a big bowl of just fried seafood and oysters and clams in there and just, and by the sea, it just feels, it's amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like up in Maine.

And again, I wrote about it

in the book.

I'm really pushing this book.

Oh,

sorry.

My late wife, her mother and her husband lived up in Maine.

And we would go up there in the summer and we would get mussels like just from the shore.

You could get, you know, just gazillions of them.

And they were the most delicious mussels I've ever had, ever, ever.

And you just, you know, you get them, you clean them, eat them right there overlooking the water.

It's like, wow.

He used to go get lobster just from a lobster nearby.

We should go out to an island.

cook the lobster and he cooked it so perfectly.

He'd just take the sea water, cook it, put it in a pot,

over a fire that we built, and then put seaweed on top of the lobster, and then corn on top of that, and then seaweed, and then six minutes, seven minutes, done,

and you're eating that with butter on the shore of this island with like the beautiful main water.

It's always like a little, actually the water's always freezing, just like magnificent.

Wow.

Oh, that's it.

Oh,

my stomach was already going crazy.

And as you were telling that story, I could feel it just going, I'm about to make some crazy noises.

What's that lobster?

Is that what that was?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actual stomach.

People might think, you know, that's

the great benefit getting some sound effects there for the podcast.

Yeah.

Gurgle.

A good food description.

I'll put a little stomach there.

She'll hire me at a restaurant to be like a DJ.

Yeah, yeah.

What's everyone who joined the startup?

Your dream main course.

Again,

such a hard, there's so many things that I love.

I want to say a pasta.

I want to say a pasta, but I also kind of want to say veal milanese

with chopped tomato and arugula and like a squeeze of lemon.

Yeah.

Like,

basically a Wiener Schnitzel, right?

It's the same thing.

But when it's made properly and it's really thin and the veal is really good, that is just one of the greatest things in the world.

Wow.

Or lasagna Bolognese is probably maybe the most delicious pasta that's ever been made.

Yeah.

When it's made properly.

Yeah.

Lots of things, isn't it?

I think we ask people their favorite main course and their favorite foods on here.

But in my mind, I'm always thinking.

But lasagna is the best food, so we've just got to, we've got to sort of, obviously everyone thinks that.

Yeah.

It is amazing, lasagna.

I mean, it's a pain in the ass to make.

Yeah.

But when it's made properly, like my mom's lasagna bolognese is just one of the greatest things ever.

And what it's it takes a long time obviously to get the sauce right.

Yeah, you make the sauce, you you're gonna slow cook the sauce and then you bechamela.

And ideally you're using two different kinds of pasta, using a spinach.

pasta and then just a regular wheat pasta.

And you're cooking that pasta, then layering it layer, layer after layer after layer after layer after layer, and then in the oven.

It's, you know, it's a substantial, and people just devour it.

Yeah.

You know, it's like eggplant parmigiana.

Yeah.

You know, you make it, and then you're like, it takes you fucking ever to make it.

You know, you put it down and it's gone in like three minutes.

Yeah.

My son made it a little while ago when he was at university.

He goes, Dad, I'm making eggplant.

I was like, oh, great, fantastic, great.

He called me the next day.

He goes, Jesus Christ.

I had no idea.

I go, I know.

I remember I told you.

That's why I get so mad.

I was like, God damn it, who ate it all?

Yeah, you've almost got to, every time you make that, make a little extra one.

Yes.

Just to keep to the side for yourself.

It's true.

You were showing me a photo of a schnitzel before Stanley arrived.

I was.

Well, yeah.

That was no schnitzel.

I was in Copenhagen yesterday.

I was in Copenhagen this weekend.

I loved Copenhagen.

Yeah.

I was there for a half an hour once.

Yeah, I loved it.

It is amazing.

It's an amazing place.

We were there for a wedding on Saturday

and then hung out there yesterday as well.

And I had a fantastic schnitzel at a restaurant called Bar, but they do it with, it's like a brown butter sauce with capers in it.

And then with these mushrooms on it, and then lingonberries on top as well.

It's absolutely phenomenal.

Although I was wearing a new shirt because I thought I'd dress up and one of the lingonberries exploded.

Oh, no.

So that was a bit of a drama.

There's a lawsuit.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't want to say anything.

It's the classic Ed Gamble story.

And then Berry exploded on his shirt.

I know.

And that upset me.

He was upset.

And my wife had to go and tell me how to get the stain out.

To Google it.

But it was worth it.

They bring you this little pan of brown butter with the, I think they're capers, but they're like quite like dried capers almost.

Oh.

And you put the brown butter or they put the brown butter on for you and then leave you with the pan of butter, which is a mistake.

Because as soon as she turned her back, I was...

Yeah.

Yeah.

The pan went over.

Yeah, exactly.

Were they dehydrated capers?

I think they might have been dehydrated capers, yeah.

But it was good.

We were hungover as well, so it was great hangover food.

Yeah, that's perfect.

Yeah, that's perfect.

Really good.

And sometimes you get schnitzel or veal milanese, and it's too because they cook it in clarified butter, right?

But it's just too, to me, too buttery.

It's sometimes too thick, too bready, too buttery.

When I do it, I try to do it.

I don't use flour, which I think is probably a sin, but I only use

egg and breadcrumbs.

Right.

Have it pound it really super thin and then do half olive oil and half clarified butter.

So you're still getting the butter taste, but it's a lighter.

Just lighter.

It's lighter.

It's lighter.

I sort of feel the same about the way a lot of steak is cooked in restaurants.

They hit it with so much butter at the end, especially the butter and the rosemary and the garlic and stuff.

Right.

When I do it at home, I'll use oil, like use rapeseed oil or something.

You still get the same char, but it's just you're not just...

just and you can eat the whole thing without feeling sick.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

A little butter, but not, you don't need, yeah.

The taste, the taste is good, but you don't need it soaked.

Yeah.

What do they do in?

So I watched a video the other day.

Oh, good, good for you.

On YouTube of,

this is my version of your Guinness Guy or whatever.

There's a guy who goes to, he lives in Disney World and goes to Disney World every day.

He lives in Disney World.

Yeah, well, he lives in Florida, but like just on the outskirts of Disney World and spends every day in Disney World.

And recently he went to New York for the first time and made

a video of that.

And he went to Peter Luger because he wanted to go to Peter Luga.

His whole life he's wanted to go there.

So it's a video of him going to Peter Luger's and having this steak and absolutely having his mind blown by it.

Everything that he eats anyway, I mean, this guy goes around Disney World eating food and it blows his mind and going, every time he eats some food, he goes, oh wow.

Dad is phenomenal.

So he always says that.

Oh wow.

Dad is phenomenal.

About Disney love food.

About Disney World Food, yeah.

He'll like eat uh eat a Mickey Benny and go, oh wow,

that is phenomenal.

So he loves it, obviously insane.

This is life.

Um, he went to New York, obviously, he went to Times Square because that was where the Disney shop is.

Yeah, so he went there.

Yeah, um, oh, wow, oh, wow, uh, but like, he went to Peter Lucas and he was like, I've been dreaming about this steak my entire life.

And he loved it.

But he said that they like broil it before they bring it out, like they broil everything or something before they bring it out.

They cook the steak and then they broil it and then they send it out.

Does that make any sense?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah,

that's the secret there for all the Peter Lugas stuff.

He said

they broiled the strudel as well.

Oh, really?

Broil everything?

Yeah, everything gets put through the broiler.

That's what you guys call grill, right?

Yes, yeah, yeah.

So, well, that makes sense now.

What did you think it was in your mind?

Wait, when you thought he was putting it in a Bay Marie or something.

I thought he was boiling it.

No, not boiling.

He was zapping their picky in boiling water.

No, no, no, no.

Quick dip in boiling water.

This broiler is what you call a grill, right?

So the heat's coming, intense heat's coming from above.

And there are a lot of steakhouses that do that.

They just go under like that.

And it actually can, if you know how to do it, like it makes an amazing, amazing steak.

Well, he said it was the best steak of his life.

He said he was going to be dreaming about that steak for really.

Yeah.

I never went to Peter Luger's.

I don't think I ever went there you can't book so that's

instantly a hurdle and you have i think you have to pay in cash it's like one of those proper old school places and they're really mean to you they're really mean to you that's what i've heard like they're just horrible i think if you're a vlogger and you're filming everything they're nice to you by the looks of things because they would never be nice to him but probably because he was documenting it yeah if you're taking a sip of the water and going oh wow oh wow

that is phenomenal this guy sucker give them everything like give him everything he's going to promote us so what of all those main courses what are you settling on for the the main issue i would go let's go for the zagne bologna's made by your mother without question

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Your dream side dish.

I think,

honestly, charred spinach or something like that.

Really simple.

Olive oil with a little bit of garlic, but you cook it with the garlic, right?

And then you just salt it, drizzle olive oil, and a squeeze of lemon.

That's it.

Yeah.

Now, when Stanley said boiled there, James.

I meant boiled.

No, no, no.

That is funny.

Yeah.

Stupidly simple, but yeah.

It's all you need sometimes, especially if there's like a lasagna floating around.

Yeah, you've got.

It's a popular side.

Actually, not probably the first shout-out for chard we've had.

Yeah.

But the spinach and garlic and

that's the popular side on the pod.

Yeah, and it goes with the...

Because if you have lasagna bologna,

you're not really going to have a side dish.

No.

Because it is...

It has everything in it.

It's got everything.

So you don't really have one.

But if you have one, it should be a leafy green vegetable.

Has that been something that you've got into more as an adult?

Because I don't ever see...

I mean...

If I saw a kid and their side dish of choice was some spinach with garlic, I'd be like, this is a sophisticated sophisticated kid yeah yeah so

as you get older it it it changes yeah I remember my kids not eating any of that stuff and now in their in their 20s and they you know they do like they love all the stuff is that a fun thing because like I don't have kids I don't plan on having kids but I think that must be a pretty fun part of being a parent is like food with you know and like getting them into different things as they're growing up introducing them to new dishes that must be quite nice it is nice it's it's hard when they're like the age that my little ones are now,

seven and a half, four and a half, you know, every day.

Like you just don't know what you're going to get.

You know, okay, you want some sausages for dinner?

I don't like sausages.

And you're like,

you don't like them.

Yeah, right, yeah.

We don't like sausages.

No, I don't.

You're like, yesterday he ate, two days ago, he ate like 50 of them.

You know, it's like it's ever-changing, like you just never know what's going to happen.

So you're constantly having those arguments.

Two more bites, one more bite, one more, no big bite, big bite, big bite, that's not a big bite.

Why is it on the floor now?

You know, it's that.

So it is really hard.

But then once they start to really love something, then it starts to open their minds.

And as they get older, now I love watching my older kids eat.

My son,

Nicolo, is going to go to culinary school.

Wow.

He is going to culinary school now after graduating with a degree in politics.

So I'm really excited.

He's a really great natural cook.

Has always had a sophisticated palate.

Ate an oyster when he was two.

Wow.

I know.

That's when you know something.

I think it's illegal, but you know

it's my fault.

Eating olives as well at that point.

Yeah, yeah.

He of all of them has the most sophisticated palate.

Wow.

I think you can tell early, can't you?

Yeah.

When someone's going to be adventurous with food.

Yeah, I remember being like that as a kid.

Yeah.

We were adventurous.

Very adventurous.

But I think it was also because I didn't like to be seen as being difficult.

Right.

Or I wouldn't have.

Well, that's changed.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's gone.

It's gone.

I've definitely regret.

Also, I wanted to be like more grown-up than the other kids.

And especially if adults are always a bit like, oh, you won't like that.

That's quite a grown-up taste.

We'd be like, no, I will have that.

That's good.

Spinach was the only one they had tricked me to eat by saying it was like Popeye.

Yes, yes.

Popeye eats that.

He's strong.

They'll be like, I know.

Straight in.

That's why you got got into pipes as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And tattoos.

Speaking out the side of my mouth.

Of all of my friends, Ed is the one that if someone said to me, you can hang out with any of your mates as a kid, I would choose Ed.

Really?

Yeah, I'd stay the same age as I am now.

Right.

But hanging out with Ed when he was a little kid.

When he was a kid, I think that would be a really fun day for me.

I would enjoy it a lot.

Yeah.

All of my mates.

That's nice.

It's a pretty creepy hypothetical scenario.

Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.

Well, I'm going to ask you the question.

Yes.

Out of all of your friends, if you could spend the day with one of them and you say the same age and they're five, who would you pick out of all of your mates?

I don't know.

That's really a funny question.

And it is such a weird question.

Probably

my friend

Steve Bussemi.

Oh, yeah.

I would love to just see what he would look like.

I think he would look exactly the same.

Also, he could say his catchphrase, how do you do fellow kids?

And that would actually be true.

Have you seen that meme?

No, that's a huge meme.

Yeah, it's a meme of him in a 30.

No, it's in 30 rock.

30 rock.

And he's dressed as a teenager with a skateboard and says, how do you do fellow kids?

Because he's playing a private investigator and goes undercover in a school.

But he's just got a skateboard.

Yeah.

So he could actually say that as a five-year-old.

Yeah, how do you do, fellow kids?

Yeah.

I would love to see him as a five-year-old it'd be funny it'd be absolutely brilliant i mean just so so many of his characters which i'd like to see a five-year-old play that's what i'd like to if it was him i'd like him to right now you have to do your character in fargo but you're five and yeah

that would be funny and just really disturbing yeah con air would be weird one yeah yeah yeah

but he is one of the he's one of the funniest guys yeah ever he's so funny is he a good like food friend as well do you go and eat together Yeah, we used to go out and well, because now I I live here.

He's in New York and yeah, we used to go all the time and eat together and we'd visit them in Brooklyn or they'd come up to our house and we'd have weekends and stuff like that.

We'd go to our friend Aiden Aiden Quinn and his wife Lizzie.

We're the the six of us, my late wife, Ste my wife, this is a terrible conversation, but my wife first wife died.

Steve's wife died uh a number of years ago.

And the six of us were really all very close.

We spent thirteen New Year's eaves together.

Oh, wow.

You know, and we were always cooking and eating and just having the best time.

Anyway, that was, I think, killed that story, didn't I?

No, it's nice.

I was about to say that my friend named their cat after Steve Basemi.

Really?

Yeah.

Is it called Steve Basemi?

No, just Basemi.

Just Basemi.

That's the half that you want to pick to name it after Stephen.

We didn't know how to pronounce it, so it was just called Bascemi for the halfce, like that.

Yeah.

And

I mean, that cat has also died.

So

no, I'm putting the conversation down.

I know a guy who named an actor, boys, such a wonderful actor, and Bruce Greenwood.

And he told me a long time ago: he goes, Look,

we named our dog after you.

I was like, What do you mean?

He goes, Stanley?

He goes, No, Stanley Tucci.

That's the name of the dog.

That's great.

Old name.

That's what you want.

You always got to imagine when you name a dog what it's going to sound like when you call it across a park or something.

I know.

And it goes, Stanley Tucci.

That's so weird.

Is that how you met?

It's because he shouted that and you were like, yes.

Yes.

For the listener, the great Benito has just said that his friend has a cat named Stanley Tucci and he is finding

the cat.

All right, that cat looks insane.

All right.

That's a scary looking cat.

Yeah, that is a scary looking cat.

I just caught a glimpse of that cat.

I mean, cute.

Yeah, man.

Oh, that's Stanley Tucci.

Yeah, no, lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It is flattering, I guess, but also I would be asking myself why.

Why?

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

At no point when you walked in here today did I think he's got the air of a domestic pet.

Yeah, yeah.

We move on to your dream drink.

I think at the beginning you'd have a martini, right?

A vodka martini or a gin martini.

You know.

What's your preference?

I go back and forth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But with the meal, I think you would have like a really nice, not tannin-y, that's just my preference.

Soft red.

Italian?

Are we going Italian?

It could be Italian, could be French, whatever.

As long as it's good.

Do you have a sort of a wine that you've had in the past that really stuck out as truly one of the great bottles or one of the great drinking?

Well, I think Tignanello is

an amazing wine.

It has more tannins than I just can't, because of the radiation treatments, I can't.

Anything tanniny, I can't drink, which is kind of irritating.

Because it's changed the taste or because it interacts in a way?

It interacts with your mouth in a different way, because your mouth has been so compromised.

Yeah.

And you

don't have enough saliva to, you can tell even I keep sipping water and I keep, if the lack of saliva, it must do something with tannins.

It helps you, you know, swallow them.

But for me, if it has very tanniny, it's like someone has taken like a cloth and just ripening your drugs.

You're like, ah, it's painful.

Yeah.

You know, it's weird.

It just almost hurts sometimes.

Whereas if it's a really soft red, like a Pinot Noir, something like that, it's like, great, that's fine.

But there's this wonderful wine called Villa Sparina that we had at our wedding.

It's a white wine.

And it's a place that actually we went to and stayed at this really beautiful vineyard and they have this hotel.

And oh, it's just, just gorgeous in Piamonte.

That white wine, not really crazy expensive or anything, but absolutely delicious.

Well, maybe we could have these drinks at different parts of the meal then if you want to.

I like that idea.

Martini at the start.

I would do the martini at the start, and then I would have a glass of the white and then I would have a glass of the red.

Oh, yeah.

A glass of the white with the oysters.

Yeah.

Definitely.

You've got to do that.

And then the red with the lasagna.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Perfect.

Yeah.

You've got to do that.

Would you raise a toast?

Are you a toast giver when you have a glass of wine?

Would you raise a toast?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

What would you toast to?

This is a new question that James has decided to ask.

Oh, really?

Oh, all all right.

What would I toast to?

A happy long life to

everybody, you know.

Yeah.

I think, you know, after telling you the story about my wife and everything and, you know, friends and, you know, it's just after, I think when you start, when you get to my age, too, you're like, I know I'm not ancient.

You know, I'll be 62, but you're like, you start losing people and people start getting, people start falling apart, basically.

So all you want is for the people that you love to be around.

That's a lovely toast.

Yeah.

See, I think this is a good new question.

That's worked out.

That's worked out well that's a good question.

That's a good question, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Because every time someone orders wine, I could ask them if they'd raised a toast of what, too.

I think it's a nice question.

But Stanley's very thoughtful.

We don't normally have such a thoughtful guest on, you know.

We have a lot of comedians on who just toast like to dicks or whatever.

Well, I was going to say,

most of them, most people have toasted a dick so far.

Yeah, right, right.

Dicks or Long Life Forever.

And it's like, my friend and I, I saw him last night, actually.

Now I have a joke.

We'll just pick up a glass and go, go fuck yourself.

We arrive at your dream dessert.

Now, before we started recording, you did start saying to Ed that you don't really like sweet things very much.

And that started scaring me.

I'm a big dessert boy.

Yeah.

So I'm a little bit worried, but also I'm not too worried because, you know, I know you're a massive fan of food.

You love food.

I would imagine there is a dessert that is sweet that would be you.

There are definitely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Blueberry pie.

Oh, yes.

I love blueberry pie.

Like, with blueberries from, like, the east coast of the U.S., like Maine.

I love that.

Or

apple pie.

Like, delicious.

I think blueberry pie and like cherry pie, like stuff like that we...

Because apple pie, we do a lot in the UK.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But stuff like blueberry.

We don't get as many blueberry pies.

Cherry pies you can get a bit, but like it's not the way it's done in the States.

So when we're over there,

I think we talked on Pog before about when we walked ages in New York to get a cherry pie, just following your Google Maps for ages and then the place was shut.

But like, that's how much.

That's why I was in a bad mood that day, Stanley.

As soon as we thought

that's what we want, we just wanted to, like, a blueberry pie is, that sounds pretty delicious.

Because also the whole pie, we don't have as much of a, like, a sweet pie culture here.

You're a savory pie.

Yeah, so it's really, the idea of blueberry pie and cherry pie is presented to us through like american films and yeah so it's such an american thing to us yeah which is weird because i mean you have incredible fruit here in the uk i mean you have an excess of it now because number one there aren't enough people to pick it number two it's like i just heard recently there's a friend of mine who has a company that does um they call it rescue fruit so the fruit that's sort of bruised or looks a little funny yeah it's got it

yeah they take it and they make like fruit balls out of it and things for kids and jams and all this really great stuff.

But somebody came to them.

This guy was a huge fruit grower and seller.

Came to them.

He said, I have 200 tons of blueberries that I can't get rid of.

Wow.

And the supermarkets were like, we can't take it.

We don't have it.

And he's like, can you take it and put it in your freezers?

They said, we don't have the capacity.

They threw it out.

Oh, man.

Can you imagine?

Yeah.

There was just an article, too, about something like that,

that these people are just throwing this stuff away because there aren't enough pickers.

Yeah.

Because after Brexit, people stop.

Fuck it.

I'm not, you know, what's the point?

Man, I wish all those blue beers had gone into a pie.

Can you imagine?

I know, because

you have amazing fruit here.

Yeah.

But you do have incredible savory pies.

I mean, a pasty, in a sense, being like that.

I had one the other day.

Just like the greatest thing in the world.

Yeah.

It it reminds me of being an open spot as a comedian to just start in comedy, the pasties, because I'd get the train to

London from Kettering, where I'm from, and then from where are you from?

Ketterin in Northamptonshire, little market town in the East Midlands.

Okay.

About an hour on the train into King's Cross, get there, do the gig, not have any time to eat anything.

And just before I got onto the train, just get a pasty from the place and then immediately sit down and burn my mouth.

They stay so hot.

It's incredible.

I know, I know.

Because you're so hungry, too.

You want to get at it.

yeah yeah yeah i really wanted to get at it i'll try a different one each time to give myself a little or trying this one this time beef and stilton one was my favorite oh beef and stilton oh yeah yeah yeah oh it's so good i had to try and um sort of slow myself down with them by just eating a bit around the edge because that's always not as hot yes it's true just just wait and maybe bite a little hole in the end to try and get some air into the past yeah

and then and then it's party time yeah we stopped the other day and uh i went down to cornwall and just on the way back you know stopped, you know, at a like a rest stop, you know, whatever you call it.

Yeah.

What do you call it, man?

Like a like a service show.

And there's always that that company, the Cornish pasty company, right, or whatever it is, Cornwall, whatever it is.

So good.

Yeah.

Classic, classic pasty.

Ev ev like every food culture, I think a lot of certainly Western food cultures all have a version of

meat in pastry.

Absolutely.

Little hand pies.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We were at a wedding on uh the weekend and the the bride is English but her family, one half of her family is Italian and the groom is Argentinian and it was in Copenhagen.

So it was just like a mad guest list and all of the food was a huge sort of mix of everything.

So when we were all dancing, like the cheese got cut, there was an incredible cheese platter and then and then they just brought out empanadas about an hour later.

Lovely.

So I was just dancing with two like two empanadas in my hands.

Just absolutely having the best.

My shirt covered in berry juice.

What are you putting on the pie?

Are you having ice cream with it?

Cream?

Are you just having it on its own?

The blue?

I can have it on its own, but maybe like a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

Proper vanilla bean ice cream.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's good.

You get that hot and the cold mixing together.

Yeah.

Delicious.

Right.

Well, I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

All right.

And see how you feel about it.

All right.

You would like sparkling water.

San Pellegrino, to be precise.

Without a question.

Also a martini with that before the meal begins.

Yes.

For catcher.

And I'm going to try and say, I mean, it looks like Benito's written sciatica, but I'm pretty sure that you don't want

sciach.

Skiachata.

Yeah, ski.

Quite close to salt.

And lots of salt.

Yes.

Starter, you would like oysters, plain and Rockefeller with the deep-fried Vancouver oysters as well, and the Villaspirina white wine.

Main course, Mother's Lasagna Bolognese with soft red wine.

Side dish of charred and spinach with garlic, olive oil, salt, and lemon.

The drink is also the red wine there.

And there's a blueberry pie with a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

That sounds very good.

I'm hungry now.

Yeah.

Yeah, gotta be right.

Very nicely described, too.

Thank you very much.

Well, you know, that's all Benito's doing.

He writes it down as the episode's going along.

I think that's

what Benito's doing.

That's it.

And it is what you do.

You do that, and you find pictures of cats that are named after the guests.

They're your two jobs.

Yeah, you say that.

You show that picture to every guest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You go, this is named after you.

They all go.

Oh, look at my friend's cat.

It's named Yotamante.

That is a good name for a cat as well.

Stanley, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Breast.

Thank you, guys.

It's really been fun.

Thank you.

What a wonderful way to end the series, James.

Delicious.

A delicious menu and a wonderful man.

So true.

Such a nice conversation.

Such a nice conversation.

Such a nice chat chat with the brilliant Stanley Tucci.

Don't forget, it's Christmas coming up.

Why not buy Stanley's new book?

Well, it's new in paperback.

Taste My Life in Food.

It's out now.

It's good for presents or a little present to yourself.

And make sure you get an iPlayer and watch Inside Man as well.

You got to.

I mean, you've got to watch loads of TV over the Christmas season, ain't you?

It's perfect.

It's perfect.

Last episode of the series, we didn't chuck Stanley out.

We didn't say Dragon Soup.

Thank you.

Sorry, Morgana.

Sorry, Morgana.

No chuckouts this uh this season no chuckouts at all still the only person we've chucked out is a jade adams on strictly and straight into the strip no not on strictly jade adams who's currently on strictly yeah yeah yeah chucks us straight into a stretch well she's currently on strictly as of time of record this is like as of time of recording there's been two episodes of strictly have gone out and jade is still in it strictly might be over uh this is the final episode of this series so i think safe to say jade has been voted off

by now

probably hit the dance floor, chose to do a dance involving hundreds and thousands.

Yeah.

Immediately got kicked out.

Yeah.

She spins around, does a big spin at the end, and loads of hundreds and thousands fly out of her dress.

Yeah.

Or she, that's what I just saw her do a dance recently on it where it's based on flash dance, and she sits on a chair at the end and pulls this thing and loads of glitter falls on her.

How good it would have been.

Oh my god.

It was loads of hundreds and thousands.

Dangbang her hundreds and thousands straight in her face.

How baffled would most people have been?

Like, why was there hundreds and thousands at the end?

Because she loves them.

them you know i think a lot of the time uh end a series chat you know it goes on for longer than than needs be people don't want to let let go of the series well look they didn't they needn't worry because of course we always do christmas specials and this year will be no different we've got two very exciting christmas specials coming up for you yes and also maybe another little surprise yeah maybe

Maybe another little surprise.

Maybe.

And we will see some of you on December 20th at the Royal Festival Hall.

That's all sold out now.

So, apologies if you couldn't get tickets, but I'm sure we'll do more live stuff in the future.

Yes, hopefully, we will be able to.

Yes, they're great fun, and we would like to see more of you.

Yes, but we will not come outside of London unless it's Canada.

Yes, only Canada, only London and Montreal.

Yeah, only two places we'll ever be.

Lon Mo.

Lonmo, that's what it says on our Twitter.

Want to know location?

Yeah, Lonmo.

Location, Lonmo, Lon Mo, Lonmon.

Thank you very much for listening to this series of Off Menu.

Keep on chomping, and we will see you very soon.

Keep on stomping.

Keep on chomping.

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Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul?

The dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast, that's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episode so they can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito.

has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok.

At Off Menu Podcast on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes, so you can see every single nuance on our little faces.