Ep 170: Babatunde Aléshé

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to them current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

WashableSofas.com has your back, featuring the Anibay collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out, where designer quality meets budget-friendly prices.

That's right, sofas started just $699.

Enjoy a no-risk experience with pet-friendly, stain-resistant, and changeable slip covers made with performance fabrics.

Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anabay sofa, backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund.

No return shipping or restocking fees.

Every penny back.

Upgrade now at sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Suffs!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs.

Playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast.

Taking the oats of humor, pouring in the milk of the internet, putting into a big, lovely, fun-friendly pan, and bubbling away until you get thick podcast porridge.

That's a gamble there.

My name is James A.

Caster and this is the Off-Menu Podcast.

We own a dream restaurant.

We invite a guest in every single week and we ask them their favorite ever starter main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is

Babatunde Eleshe.

Babatunde Aleche, an absolutely wonderful comedian.

You may recognize him, of course, from many, many stand-up comedy gigs.

And of course, you will recognize him from the wonderful celebrity goggle box.

He watches stuff with Mo Gilligan on there.

I love Goggle Box so much.

And also, we're very excited because on one episode, Babatone wore an off-menu t-shirt.

Yes, which is

big for us.

Pretty big.

Pretty big.

The only people who've worn our Percival merch on television before are us.

Yes, us.

So it's really nice when someone is not us.

You wore it on Big Fat Quiz of the Year.

Yep.

And my appearance is yet to be shown.

Right.

I wore it it on pointless

um and you'll be able to see that i really tried to get the merch in there because um originally they tried to put my name tag over the the design and i said no can i wear it on the other side they said no and we compromised on me wearing it unnaturally high

so look out for that can't wait yeah

but if he chooses one of the secret ingredients or the secret ingredient we just have one a week uh something that we uh normally we deem it to be disgusting so we chuck people out but uh lately it's been more if we can just relate it to the guest.

Yes.

It makes it a bit easier because we're running out of food.

We've run out of food that we don't like really.

We ran out of that probably episode two.

Yes.

We love food.

Yes.

But there's food, the ingredient this week that we'll get Babatunde chucked out at the Dream Restaurant is Campbell soup.

Campbell's soup.

Now that is because Babatunde wore the t-shirt on

Goggle Box.

and it had the tin of Campbell's soup on it.

Tin of Campbell's soup.

So

that's our link.

That's the thing that binds us.

I don't.

Will it be the first time?

I don't think I hate Campbell's part.

Necessarily.

No, I hate it.

I don't have it that much, if I'm honest.

How often do you get in Campbell's soup?

Yeah, never.

Never.

Zero, never.

Sometimes I get that, if I'm going to buy soup, I'll probably get, you know, the

supermarket zone, if it's Sainsbury's or Tesco, that's in like, you know, the big plastic pot.

Big plastic pot.

Yep.

Or I'll get that little,

whatever the farm one is that's in a carton, a cardboard carton.

The Covent Garden soup.

Yeah.

I went through a big phase with Covent Garden.

I think I'm out the other side now.

Now I'm all about the own brand, big buckets.

Sure.

Love them.

Just like a chicken and veg or something.

Yeah.

It makes me feel healthy to have soup.

Yes.

You know?

Yeah.

A soup lunch.

And the chunkier the better these days.

I used to be all about the smooth soups, completely smooth.

I want as much stuff in them as possible now.

Chunk it up, baby.

I want it to be borderline stew.

Yeah, you got yourself a stew.

You got yourself a stew there.

But I want it to be just before you say that.

That's a busy soup.

Yeah.

I want it as a busy soup.

A busy soup.

A busy soup.

That's what I want.

One more chunk and it's a stew.

One more chunk.

It's officially a stew.

But just like one chunk off a stew.

That's what I want.

Like I used to love the smooth chicken one from Covent Garden.

And now, no.

Feels like I'm having a carton of milk.

Yeah.

Not interested.

I think it's dairy.

I think I don't want dairy and soup anymore.

Yeah.

Unless I'm adding my own dairy.

The cream of tomato hind, still the daddy, really.

Yeah.

With With so much cheddar grated into it that it almost becomes tomato fondue.

Wow.

That's what I'm a hangover.

That's my hangover.

Is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's your hangover for me.

And then loads of, I bought this like ghost chili sauce

from Liberty's.

Yeah.

The poshest sauce I could find.

Yeah.

And I have, I use two drops per bowl of soup.

And that's all you can have.

Otherwise, it...

I get hiccups.

So you do that for your hangover?

Yeah.

Lovely.

Thank you.

Lovely.

Soup chat.

Good soup chat at the top there.

Always good to, you know.

I don't think the listeners will ever learn everything about us food-wise.

There's always things to do.

There's always good to be.

And we're always developing.

We're always changing as people.

Yeah.

So, yeah, one of the things I'm looking forward to eating in Disneyland is the soup.

There's a soup from one certain place that we're going to.

I can't remember what it's called now.

Are you worried about Disneyland that you're going to be so full that you're not going to enjoy the rides?

Oh, I won't go on the rides.

I'll just watch my girlfriend on the rides and I'll eat all the food.

That's not true, is it?

No, no, I'm going to go on the rides.

Yeah, the rides are brilliant.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to love going on the rides.

But also, I was quite excited about the thing.

We've booked in all our food places now.

Yeah.

So that's

why, yeah.

We've booked in our meals in advance.

Benito's nodding.

Oh,

you're not talking about like the things you buy from stores on the way around.

No, no, those places.

So I'm currently looking at things to buy in stores on the way around because that'll be extra little things.

But we've booked in our restaurant meals and where we're going for that.

And, you know, my girlfriend's watched loads of

videos on YouTube.

These are the best ones in Disney.

Yeah.

She's collated all of that information, got what the very best ones are from all those different videos, different opinions.

They're the ones that we're going to go.

And what's the one you're most looking forward to?

What's the one to go to?

Well, we're going to Ohana for breakfast in the Polynesian part of the park.

Everyone says you've got to go there, get the Bloody Mary flight that has like a tequila Bloody Mary.

Sounds like like one of the rides.

A vodka Bloody Mary.

I had a whiskey Bloody Mary.

And also get the sticky bread there.

So going to get those things there.

But I think the one I'm most looking forward to is the one that has the soup in it, the busy soup in it.

Yeah.

And it has Gator Bites and it has fried chicken.

Yeah.

It's like a sort of New Orleans style one.

Yeah, it looks really good.

Yeah.

And it's called Chef Something's something.

Great.

That's what I'm looking forward to the most.

Yes, Chef Art Smith's homecoming.

That's what I'm most.

I'm excited about that.

Yeah.

Everything on that menu looked great.

And the man who was eating it in the YouTube video that I watched was delightful.

I know that on Parenting Hell, one of our rival podcasts, Rob Beckett did a whole episode talking to Josh about his experience when he went to Disney World with the kids.

Yeah, but that's a mistake.

Yeah.

He went to Disney with kids.

Yeah, so now and his food portion of that podcast, and it's a great podcast episode, I'll give credit where it's due.

But the food portion was just like, well, I just ate when we could, whatever.

Yeah, and then went to like Jungle Cafe or whatever it's called, where there's like an animatronic gorilla.

Yeah, that sounds fun.

But

we can do like our arrival one to Pement in Hell, where we do an episode all about the Disney food.

Yeah, or most likely what will happen is it will just come up in conversation naturally and we'll

sprinkle it through maybe 60 or 70 episodes.

Yeah.

Anyway.

So without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of Bamatunde Aleche.

Welcome Babatunde to the dream restaurant.

Yes, thank you for having me, man.

Welcome, Babatunde Leche, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Yeah, man.

I'm glad to be here, bro.

Trust me.

Glad to have you.

We probably should start by...

thanking you for wearing our merch on television.

Come on.

Hey, guess what?

I'm wearing it now.

Come on, let's go.

One of the new ones, we don't even have

saying this.

When I got them, because I get a lot of stuff from Percyville, so I've been going through all the shirts, and I'm thinking, I've been new podcasts.

I'm thinking, oh, snap!

It's that man, I love this show.

And then when you were at the show, I didn't even realize, I didn't even clock it was you, bro.

That was so funny because I'm looking at you.

I'm thinking, where'd I know your face from?

And you just like, where you get that t-shirt?

And I kept saying,

why do you keep asking me about my t-shirt, bruv?

Like, go away.

Yeah, we did a gig together.

You walked in wearing the t-shirt.

I was like, we've never met before.

Never.

So I was like, this is funny.

This is a funny guy because he's walking in.

He knows that that's my podcast.

And he's doing that to like, you know,

he's having a laugh at me straight away.

So I was like, you wearing that t-shirt?

And you were like, yeah, yeah, I got it from Percival.

Like, really, like,

I was like, yeah, but...

And I was like, I was like, yeah, but, but, you know, look at the ice cream.

You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool.

I like it.

I was like,

this guy, like, that's my face on the ice cream.

You're like, oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

I've got this.

I've got like a t-shirt and a hoodie.

I was like, do you know the podcast?

It was funny.

But I was like, I texted Benita.

I was like, I think we've got to book this guy because I've got to figure out what's going on.

We're going to get to the podcast.

And then you warned me, don't make fun of you on the podcast.

Well, no, bruv, it's all fair game, bruv.

Do your thing.

Do your thing, bruv.

Was there a there was a message that said, oh, come on, but don't make fun of me.

It was a funny joke all night.

By the time they come up to me, goes, you better not take the piss off

on your podcast.

I appreciate that.

Someone told me

you wore an off-menu t-shirt on Gogglebox.

I did.

Exciting.

I did.

That was the green one.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

See, I'm telling, bruv, personal, they hooked me up, bro.

I love it as well.

Yeah, yeah.

How was Gogglebox?

Ah, bruv.

We just wrapped on Saturday, me and Mo.

Yeah.

Absolutely fantastic, man.

Yeah, I love that show.

Hopefully we get another season under our belt.

You know what I mean?

So I'll be like

five seasons?

I love it so much.

You two are so great together on it.

Thank you, man.

So good.

And I love that every time James brings up the merch now, every single time you have to let us know you got it for free as well.

Just yeah.

Absolute respect to you, James, but I did get that shit for free.

I'm not paying for that.

No, no, shout out to Percival.

Like I said, they always hook me up all the time.

Yeah, this is what I mean.

You keep saying that as a reminder so you absolutely did not lay

there's no way i'll be paying for that no no bro that ice cream one oh my days that is my favorite one bro good one right yeah bro i love it but you know our faces are in the ice cream yeah yes i know

i know now i know now

what if he did a um goggle box like podcast edition you think that would work you and mo listening to some podcasts maybe listening to this episode of the off-media podcast

that might be a thing yeah i mean i don't know how that would work like just me trying to imagine it in my mind right now.

We listen to a snippet or something, then we respond to it.

Maybe.

It doesn't feel as natural, does it?

Because you do sit around watching TV with your mates, but you wouldn't all sit around listening to a podcast, right?

But we give them hell on Google Box because you can imagine two comedians.

We talk so much to the point where sometimes the directors are like, okay, we still have to watch this show.

No more jokes, please.

You know what I mean?

So, no, I love hanging around with Mo, man.

But yeah, hopefully we get to do some more stuff.

Do you have to watch the whole show?

Or is it like

snippets?

So it'll be like half an hour, maybe 20 minutes of the best bits.

Because I have to think about that.

Everyone on Gogglebox does a really good job of looking like they've been fully invested in a whole season.

No, but you get into it.

That's the thing.

You do still get into it, even though it's like 20 minutes.

Because like, especially with some of the stuff that you've never seen before,

or the scary stuff, because you know me.

Well, if you've watched the show, I hate scary movies.

So anything scary, I'm already invested because it's just like, I don't want to be scared.

So I'm like intense.

Like, yeah.

So, but yeah, it's only like 20, 30 minutes of each thing.

Have you always been easily scared?

Like, by movies?

Yeah, yeah.

I grew up in Tottenham, so you can imagine I'm traumatized.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, like anything scary in real life or on movies, not for me.

Not for me, man.

What's the scariest movie you've ever seen that scares you the most?

That you've never watched Exorcist.

Yeah.

Exorcist.

You went so serious when you said that.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I couldn't reliv it right then and then.

Really Really smiling and then suddenly, no, there's The Exorcist.

Have you guys seen

I've never watched it because I like it.

I like scary films, but I almost presume that I would be too scared by

it.

Really?

I love The Exorcist.

Yeah.

It's an incredible film.

But it is scary.

It is very scary.

It's the scariest bit.

You know the bit, bruv, when she's in the bed, bruv, and the voices and the vomit.

Yeah.

And then the bit where she's like hovering into.

Oh my god, I don't know.

It's the scariest bit for me when she comes down the stairs backwards like a big crab.

Oh, I didn't want to be reminded.

I think that might be the editor.

That might be like the director's cut or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is a disgusting film.

By the way, don't watch it if you haven't watched it, bro.

Well,

I know a lot of the bits already.

You know, I know the

spewing and the going around like a crab.

And crucifix.

Oh, yes, oh my god, no.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

That bit is disgusting.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I hate scary movies, bro.

Yeah, it's not like a game, man.

I've read the book as well.

Why did you do that?

I love it.

What's wrong with you?

I like scary movies.

I like scary movies.

Ed gets scared really easily as well.

Like, I watched Haunting of Hill House, a TV series.

Yeah.

I recommended it to Ed because I knew he would like it.

And then he was watching it next to me on the plane.

when we were going on a trip together.

Why am I laughing already?

And he kept on...

I would be looking because I'd know there's a scary bit coming up.

So I'd like look side-eye to his screen and you could just see him.

He'd have to keep pausing it because he'd get too scared.

He'd have to give himself little breathers.

He'd be

like that.

And there was bits like in that in that TV system.

I mean you should never watch it.

I will never watch it.

It would appear to be too much for you.

What is that film?

I know this is about like this podcast about food, but we're talking about film at the moment.

What is that film where the the camera's just focused on the bedroom?

Yeah.

What's that one?

No.

Is that what it's called?

No, no, no, no, no,

I think you're talking about exorcist again.

No,

it's like it's like it's like a recording, okay.

No, no, no, no, uh, paranormal activity, thank you, okay, paranormal activity.

I was at my friend's house, yeah, yeah, in Tottenham, you've gone really serious, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

This is what happened, so people were like, Yeah, let's watch it, let's watch paranormal activity.

I'm just like, bro, I don't want to watch it.

He's just like, bruv, man, trust me, man, let's just watch it.

We put it in, we're watching it now.

15 minutes into it, we ran out the flat.

You need to understand nothing happened in the film.

There wasn't anything scary about to happen, but we just got so scared that something scary was going to happen.

Yeah.

And we ran.

We left the door, the house door open.

We ran down the estate.

And then we were like, oh, snap, we've got to go back, turn off the film.

And lock the door.

It was like, who's going to do it?

It was like, there's both of us.

And so we spent another half.

This is no joke.

I can call my friend Neil now and he will confirm this.

We spent another half an hour arguing about who's going to go to the house and turn the film off.

That was the

scariest film I've watched.

And best believe, nothing happened in the first 15 minutes.

You got to turn the film and then leave the flat and lock the door.

That was the flat.

No, we just ran.

Like, he just got both of us at the same time.

Just gone.

Belted.

How old were you?

Must have been like early 20s.

Yeah.

TA.

Fully grown adult, yeah.

Yeah.

So this is where you guys start taking the picture.

No, no, no, no, but we love it.

I do understand it.

I actually understand it.

Yeah,

what about that?

There's a bit in the Exodus where they have spliced in a picture of the demon.

It's just for a second.

Why do you remember this stuff?

Because that really scared me.

Like, I had to rewind that and pause it and find the frame where you can just see the demon.

Why?

Why would you do that?

I love it.

I love horror.

Bruv, you're mad.

I'm scared to know what kind of food you like now, bruv.

Demon sick.

now we always start with still or sparkling water do you have a preference you know what yeah cold sparkling water hits differently yeah

to me that sounds like quite you know names talked about horror films cold sparkling water is a bit like a ghost don't do that because now i'm not going to drink sparkling water why did you do that for me why did you mess that up I was enjoying my middle-class life, life, drinking sparkling water.

Now I'm going back to still why would you do that bro i'm just saying cold sparkling water's got a bit of a ghostly feel to it what i really like about that is that's such a weird thing to say that it's like a ghost and you immediately were like oh fuck i know what you mean

you've ruined it for me man has bro he has like i can't drink that now but no like preference yeah yeah cold sparkling water is just on a hot day or just in any weather day just no no hot day has to be weather but it has to be cold you know when it's cold cold like yeah crisp

yeah yeah bro how bubbly do you want it i'm not aggressive bubbles not like burn my throat bubbles but bubbly enough yeah

just bubbly enough bubbly enough yeah i know what you mean yeah

you want anything in there you want any um any slices of fruit nah

nah ice cubes yeah maybe but yeah if it ain't as cold as i want it to be but no i don't need no cucumbers and all them that's dead bruv i ain't drinking gin and tonic no and even if i'm drinking a gin and tonic get that cucumber out of here bruv why why don't you like it?

I don't know, man.

It just makes my cup look weird, bruv.

This has nothing to do with the taste.

The taste is fantastic.

I can't be like sipping on a GMT like or something, and all my friends from Tottenham come around.

Hey, blood, what's that?

Nothing, bruv.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, because

it's my friends.

It's my white friends drinking.

You want to embarrass yourself in front of your friends from Tottenham,

one of whom you watch paranormal activity and then has to run out of the flat.

You're actually talking about it.

yeah yeah you know what i mean

but i will say this though like with like you know the cucumbers and stuff my sister has definitely educated me on like you know like gnt's and stuff i never used to really be a fan of that but she was like she would put like all like rosemary and all like uh blueberries and all this stuff yeah and i'd be like what people drink like this like is that what they're supposed to do she's like yeah i was like okay cool so now i'm fully invested but you will not catch me on road or in a pub like at home yeah i'm going in

you're locking the door but you're inside the flat this time yeah yeah and no one can see you do you want ice cubes crushed ice in my sparkling water oh oh crushed ice yeah now what's the difference actually you really uh got excited there by the difference because you know the crushed ice just gives it that slushier pill kind of thing yeah yeah bro you know your drinks

yeah thank you

not enough people point that out yeah that's true not enough people give me credit where it's due

i love crushed rice as well because it it keeps it cold, but it doesn't take up too much like real estate in the glass.

You can almost die.

I'm using that.

Oh, yeah.

Real estate in the glass.

Yeah, I like that.

Poplubs or bread.

Poplubs or bread, Babatunde.

Poplubs or bread.

Why are you shouting at me?

Bread.

Is this what happens?

You just shout at me.

He does.

Yeah, yeah.

You're lucky I didn't.

It's because I've been taking cold baths, so I don't get scared now, you know what I'm saying?

Because that can't help me.

really oh man, if I remembered, I literally forgot already the Babatona gets scared easy.

Yeah, I should have thought I could really get him with poppy dogs or bread, but I thought, well, he's not, I'm not gonna surprise him with that because he's a fan of the podcast, yeah, because he wears the merch, but then I forgot he doesn't know his podcast, so why have I done that?

What would you have done if he'd just run out of the room?

Bro, like, if this was a month ago, not taking like cold baths and stuff like that, yeah, I would have jetted.

So,

you take cold baths now.

Yeah, have you tried watching The Exorcist Now You Take take cold baths?

Nope.

Ain't happening.

I still believe in Jesus, so that's not happening, bro.

Does the Exorcist not confirm your belief in Jesus?

Because like it's...

The Catholic Church actually backed The Exorcist as a film.

Yeah.

What?

Yeah.

Because it says that Jesus exists.

Like

it's actually a pro-religion film.

Okay.

It's got the baddies in it.

Yeah.

I've never seen someone be exorcised.

I've been to.

well that's a lie today

I have but not like that yeah I have some I've seen someone because I go church I have seen someone I used to go to a Pentecostal church you see all types of stuff there I have seen a demon manifest in someone and but not like that not like that the girl pushed the preacher and he flew wow but she had a demon in there so so they said yeah she pushed him she pushed the crap out of him yeah and i was like damn

I was at the back of the church.

I was like, damn.

You got pushed.

I was like, you better call on Jesus, bro.

She's strong, bro.

That's probably just what he wanted to hear at that moment.

Yeah,

flying across the room, just being pushed by a demon.

Surely someone from my congregation will come and help me.

Damn, you got pushed.

Let me get this straight.

When you watch an actual horror film, you have to run out of the flat and then argue about who goes back in the flat to turn it off.

But you've been in a room with a literal demon and all you thought was

in a church.

And you thought, whoa, I got pushed.

And you didn't think like...

You watch it like

what watches a horror film.

Yeah.

If I saw that in a film, I'd be like, damn, he got pushed.

In real life, I'd be running out.

No, man, because it's church, like...

Jesus, you know what I mean?

She's got another demon in it, in the church.

Yeah, but like, the preacher's going to be like, do his thing, innit?

Yeah, he's protected.

I mean if she turned around and set her sights on me, I'm gone

Didn't seem too too worried about bringing attention to yourself though

Well, oh yeah, yeah, I did shout out, but at the same time, bro, this really happened not even a joke This girl was going crazy.

She like shook her head and then she just went boom Yeah, and he was on the other end of the room

Wow But but then were you not scared then?

She's gonna get us all nah not really because like I said like the preacher he's like he's got jesus power but he's been pushed for miles

that's his fault bro you know what i'm saying you shouldn't have

kissed the demon off you know

but now you take cold baths yes you feel a little bit calmer yeah it calms down your anxiety yeah do you go with um ice cubes or crushed ice in your cold baths oh yeah how much

i've done i just do cold water i've never done like ice is it like a whim hoff thing What's a wim hoff?

Wim Hoff is that guy who takes cold baths and cold showers.

That's that ice man, right?

Yeah, yeah.

no.

He loves it.

I just take cold showers.

Yeah, man.

How did you, because I've tried that, and I'm like you watching a scary film when that happens to me.

As soon as I'm like, I can't stay under the water.

Yeah.

Like I try to when I'm having the cold shower, but I can't physically make myself stay under there.

You've got to breathe.

Control your breathing.

Ah.

Yeah, yeah.

So every time.

So gradually do it.

Gradually turn the water colder and colder and colder.

And each time that you feel the cold, just control your breath, control your breath until it's really like freezing cold.

And then by that time, you'll be used to it a little bit, but you still have to like control your heart rate because you don't want to go into shock.

Wow.

And what are the benefits of it?

Like, it's good for your skin, obviously.

Good to wake you up.

Yeah.

So I have cold showers in the morning.

Wakes you up.

It's better than having like a coffee.

Yeah.

But it does have a benefit in terms of like, because

you're controlled, your body does want to naturally shock itself.

It controls like your anxiety and your panic, things like that.

Lovely.

yeah

might go back to it might go back to it yeah yeah every morning every morning no no control your breathing because all i do obviously start hot though all i've ever done is just like start cold and try to go and do it immediately no don't do that no yeah you shock it you shake yourself what kind of bread we talking what kind of bread would you like you know i'm a fan of um ciabata warm oh yeah toasted yes yeah

you gotta get it crunchy on the outside yeah and still like soft and steamy in the middle are you dipping it in anything are you are you putting putting butter on it?

Butter, definitely.

Or, or, I like pate.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't before.

Like I said, I'm working class.

I'm now middle class.

I didn't know nothing about no damn pate, bruv.

And chutney and all this stuff that all these posh people be eating.

Yeah.

Then I tasted it.

I was just like, I swear down, this is what you guys have been hiding from us all this time.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I've been eating chicken and chips all this time.

You guys be eating pate.

And they'll be like, what's this?

It's chicken liver.

Wow, okay.

Yeah, I'd say pate.

I'll go for it.

Chicken liver pate.

Yeah, man.

That's not.

I think it's the first time someone's utilized the pate.

Yeah.

The pate loophole in the bread.

That's good.

Yeah, we haven't had that, but this might, yeah, it might be the first time.

Come on, man.

Man's sitting trend.

I love chicken liver pate.

Whenever, if that's on a menu, that or chicken liver parfait or whatever the difference is, just the oh, it's so good.

Yeah, always go for it.

Creamier the better.

Yeah, Marks and Spencer's do one with uh truffle on top.

What

are you mad?

Have you tasted truffle?

Brother, oh my.

That sentence got more middle class with every word.

No, this is what I'm saying.

Brother,

see now.

No, bro, like, I'm embracing my middle classness.

Before, I used to deny it and be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, man.

I'll still eat chicken and chips.

Hell no, I don't eat that crap no more.

Bruv, I am in Marks and Spencer's like every other day, bro.

Yeah.

And you create truffles, bruv.

Oh, Mike.

Don't piss me off.

I mean what the listener couldn't see was that when you got really excited about the Marks - Spencer's truffle pate,

you did like a full like body percussion

like you're trying to get a demon out of yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but I really get excited about my food, bro.

Is that the pate you would like then?

The Marks - Spencer's truffle pate?

So it's like chicken liver, but at the top, it's got like a layer of like, I don't know what you want to call it, like

truffle cream or whatever the hell it is, Like, truffle pate, I see.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just got a layer on top.

That sounds great.

Don't piss me off.

It is so nice.

Yeah, you can have that.

It's the dream restaurant.

You can have it.

How often are you buying the chicken liver pate with?

Not that much, man, man.

That's a special occasion.

It's not every other day.

Nah, bro.

Bro, have you shopped at Martin Spencer?

No.

Jesus Christ, it is expensive.

Yeah, man.

You're okay with having that, but you're not yet at a point where you will have cucumber in a drink.

That's true.

Why are you baiting me out?

I don't like the way you're just dissecting all my inconsistencies.

I'm just trying to get what the difference is.

What would your friends from Tottenham say about the pate?

They would laugh.

Yeah.

They would deaf.

Oh my god, they're taking it.

But would you say to them?

I'd be like, yo, try this.

Yeah, have a bite.

Yeah.

See what you think.

Chicken liver, bruv.

Yeah, yeah.

Have a bite.

You know, you just slide it across and then you just watch their reaction.

And when they're like,

I told you, bruv.

I told you.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Let's be real.

Life happens.

Kids spill.

Pets shed.

And accidents are inevitable.

Find a sofa that can keep up at washable sofas.com.

Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out, so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry-free living.

Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics.

They're kid-proof, pet-friendly, and built for everyday life.

Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want.

Neat flexibility?

Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment.

Plus, they're earth-friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers.

It's time to upgrade to a stress-free, mess-proof sofa.

Visit washable sofas.com today and save.

That's washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

So your dream starter, well, your starter now, your meal proper.

Have you got a specific dream starter?

I love a prawn.

Like, you know, when they do like the battered prawn, I think it's like prawn tempura.

Is that the right one?

Yeah.

With like the sweet chili sauce.

Don't get me mad.

Oh, my days.

Wow.

Do you guys like seafood?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Love it.

Where are you?

Is there any specific place that you've had the prawn tempura with sweet chili that you think is the best one you've ever had?

I went to an Italian restaurant not too long ago where we normally go.

Papagoni's in Stroud Geen.

Oh, Benito's.

Bonito's just.

Come on, bro.

Say it with your chest, bro.

Yeah, so Papagoni's, their starters are fantastic.

Their whole menu is fantastic.

But their starters are crazy off the hook.

Yeah, sorry.

I get real.

That's what we like.

So yeah,

starters.

So you want it from Papagoni's the prawn tempura?

Absolutely.

But it's not tempura.

This one's like a more of like a like a breaded type of batter.

Yeah.

I know the tempura is like the Japanese type of thing, but this one it's deep fried.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What else is on the papagoni's starter menu that you really like?

I don't know.

I don't be adventurous like that because I'm not like a big cheese fan.

Okay.

So a lot of their stuff has got like cheese.

I do like mozzarella.

One of their other things I do like, I don't know what it's called.

My wife orders it.

It's like a big deep-fried bowl with mozzarella in it.

And then it'll put like some sauce on top.

That's nice.

That's as far as I'd go.

I don't know what it's called.

Whoever's listening there, you know what it's called, then you know what it's called.

I don't know what the hell the thing is, but it's damn nice.

Yeah.

Other than that, I'm sticking with my prawn thing.

That's it.

I met your wife at the gig.

Okay.

And you went on and did a bunch of material

about my wife.

About your wife.

And she's sitting next to me in the wings absolutely laughing her head off absolutely loved it everyone else everybody else is like oh man i wonder how

i wonder how she's responding oh she's having the night of her life

she's like i love this bit this is so funny yeah yeah yeah because like me and my wife we banter man yeah yeah yeah like you know marriage life is full of ups and downs and you've got to like learn to laugh at that you know what i'm saying after you get over it and stuff like that you know what i mean yeah

That's where it comes from, you know.

How long have you been married for now?

It's gonna be seven years this September, Ed's coming up to his one-year anniversary, man.

Like, come on, bro, in September, as well.

Come on, bro, yeah, September, boys.

I don't know what that was, but let's go.

September, boys, yeah, congrats, man.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, yeah, going alright so far, I think.

Yeah, you're loving it.

Yeah, it's good, innit?

Yeah, get married, bruv.

No, why?

I'll never get married.

Why?

It seems stupid.

Okay, wow, just, you know, just.

I'm in a lovely relationship it's very much a love but uh I don't understand you know what it is it's just I just feel like I say this with marriage is it's just kind of like the

almost like the security of this both of you knowing that I got you for life and anything that we share at this moment whether it be kids or you know, finances, anything happens to either one of us, you're good for the rest of your life because you carry my name, my children carry my name, and I'm giving.

I know that can happen outside like you don't have to be married to have all of that but i just i don't know the wedding thing yeah yeah man it's banging the wedding oh bro man i was drunk as hell bro yeah yeah man yeah

what food did you have at your wedding oh yeah so we had a mixture of um west indian and uh african nigerian my heritage we had a mixture of uh the two and so yeah that was really really nice

you know people from um where i'm from north london london um they really like nigerian food and obviously west indian food like it's just banging so yeah yeah well i mean we've we've had this conversation on the podcast a few times of the because now you've brought up nigerian food

a few people on the podcast have come on don't do it i know what you're gonna

i know what you're gonna i know it go on

tread carefully but a few people come on the podcast and choose for their dream menu jollof rice yeah okay yeah and we've had something yeah okay tread carefully carefully nigerian some people you're talking to a nigerian bro yeah i know what and see i knew where you were going with this there is only one jellof and that is nigerian jellof do you understand so all that ghanaian stuff yeah well the zoo said sierra leonian i think was zoo bro the zoo is out of this conversation

big zoo listen Jellof doesn't even come from your country.

Like, they don't make it like the way Ghanaians and Nigerians make it, but Ghanaians, their one is whack

Nigerian party jellof no one can chat to us and that is a fact everybody that tastes because there's two types of jellof from nigeria you've got normal everyday standard jell-off rice and then you've got party jell-off rice party jell-off rice is smoked jell-off rice so they smoke the the the rice yeah so it has that barbecue kind of smoky flavor to it that sounds amazing that is crazy

no other country does it like nigerians do it and everyone will tell you they'll be like oh yeah Garnet and Jell-O-Fries.

Oh man, it's nice.

And then they taste party jell-off fries and they're just like winner.

Right.

Do you understand?

Know that.

So we haven't had that before in the past.

And then we'll point out the party.

We've not heard about the party jello fries.

No, so that might be a bit of a game changer in the conversation.

Who picked the Garnet and Jello fries?

Did Sophie pick it?

Sophie Duca, right?

I think so.

I think that Selassie maybe chose it.

Yeah.

As well.

Where are they from?

Selassie's from Bakoff.

Oh, him.

What did Lolly pick?

Come on, Lolly.

Saleria doesn't even enter the competition.

It is literally between Nigerians and Ghanaians.

Let's be real.

That's where the competition.

I don't know what

the English equivalent to the Jell-Off Rice Wall is.

I mean, not.

What would that be?

What's like, what do Welsh people and Scottish breakfasts?

The breakfast.

You can't go to Scotland or Wales and call it an English breakfast because they kick off.

Yeah, they do yeah but the difference is it's the same thing i've had a scottish traditional breakfast yeah i was fuming yeah i was like what is because they have this like potato type of thing i think i might prefer the scottish one yeah smoking i think i think the scottish breakfast is my favourite when did you start smoking

when just tell me now when did you give did when did you take up smoking crack i need to know bruv English breakfast is the one.

Are you crazy, bruv?

Bro, let's get into this, bruv.

What do you have on your plate, bruv?

What's your English breakfast plate?

English breakfast plate.

Go on.

They'll be like scrambled eggs.

All right.

Bacon.

Not sunny side up.

Yeah.

You're already.

You're already.

Yeah, you started off bad.

Scrambled.

What are you five?

Scrambled eggs.

Look at lots of buttery yolks.

It's got to be fried eggs.

Fried eggs.

Fried eggs, bro.

Sunny side up.

Get that yolk going, bruv.

Scramble.

Scramble.

You are a toddler.

Carry on.

Bacon.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Crispier the better.

Yeah.

Okay.

Sausages.

Yes.

The crispy bacon thing is a bit American for me.

Oh, yeah?

I love a thick bit of

jammy.

Let's go.

Let's go.

I like him already.

He's winning, bro.

He's doing well.

He's winning.

He's doing well.

Yeah, got you, got you.

Okay.

Sausage, right?

Sausage.

Two?

Yes.

Two sausages.

That was a side bread for Lena.

It's okay.

It feels like you're that bit in Indiana Jones where you're trying to walk across the floor.

Yeah, yeah.

I think every other move I've got now feels precarious.

No toast?

I would have fried bread over toast.

Get the hell out of there.

This guy.

Fried bread.

Yeah.

Fried!

Fried bread, I like fried bread over toast.

If I'm going to do the breakfast and go full all-in, like, you know, fast.

You're not going going all in if you're having fried bread

I look I like fried bread but I wouldn't have it anymore it would kill me for the rest of the day yeah you like well for your English breakfast you like fried bread I do but I wouldn't have it now because it would make me feel sick get you guys from I'm more freaking white than both of you

my name is Bubbaton

you gotta go toast the only thing I don't do is the um

I don't do the

black pudding yeah

I like black pudding but I knew that if I said that it was gonna get me more bad points Yeah, because that's what pigs blood.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Lie that, bro.

And then

I would always skip tomato.

I don't like the tomato.

You know what?

I'm a fan of the tomatoes, you know.

Yeah, it's all right for me.

The mushrooms as well.

I love mushrooms.

I always go mushrooms.

Yeah, yeah.

And there's something missing.

Well,

are you a beans boy?

I'm a beans boy.

I'm not a beans boy.

I'm a beans boy.

I'm a beans boy.

I'm disappointed.

Okay, yeah, man.

All right.

That's one point for you.

Yeah.

And hash browns.

Oh, I love hash browns.

Yeah, I can tell.

I don't even forget that.

They're the best bit.

Hash browns are my favourite bit.

Take more leave.

Hash browns are my favourite bit of the fried breakfast.

I can't even believe I forgot that.

Scrambled egg.

Don't try and do that again.

What are you dipping the hash browns in?

I'm not dipping them in anything.

They're delicious as they are.

No.

Ketchup.

Or do you guys go

brown sauce?

I'm a brown sauce girl.

I'm probably going to combine the hash browns with the beans, realistically.

At one point,

everything just gets smeared around the plate.

That's the best bit where you mop up the plate with the bread or the hash browns.

And the hash browns.

You get the haggis and the square sausage.

The what?

Haggis.

What is haggis?

Break it down to me, please.

Haggis is...

You see when I realised what you were saying?

What the hell is haggis?

Haggis is like, it's like offal and oats and all of this sort of stuff, like minced up, and then they cook it in a...

Well, it's traditionally cooked in a sheep's stomach.

dead no no way

not happening that's not happening

like shout outs to all my highlanders and them man up there yeah you know on the cliffs and stuff

in scotland you know what i'm saying yeah then them man shout out to them you know what i'm saying because you've got to be strong and to eat haggis and you know what i'm saying wear a kilt and all them things there yeah but no

stick to the bagpipes leave the english breakfast alone or the scottish breakfast whatever you want to call it yeah and all my welsh people what do they what they have on theirs I think it's quite similar to an English breakfast actually yeah

I get strung up for saying that but I feel like they eat angel dust or something because Welsh people they're just

they just remind me of like little fairies and stuff

now you know when if you when you think of like medieval England and like fairy tales and you got the elves

they base that off of Welsh people you know what I'm saying like you know

I love my Welsh people I love their accent yeah yeah I love that they're just the that's the best British accent for me yeah I love the Welsh accent.

I'd agree.

I'd agree.

It sounds like they're singing when they talk.

It's beautiful.

Can you do a Welsh accent?

I can't.

I was about to, but then I said, let me not embarrass myself.

Would you rather eat Haggis or watch Exorcist again?

You've got to do one of them.

I ain't got to do nothing.

I would rather...

That's a fair point from Baba Tunde.

He doesn't have to do Haggis.

But if, hypothetically, I'd rather eat Haggis.

You'd rather eat the Haggis than watch Exorcist again.

Imagine a big plate, having to eat a big plate of haggis while watching The Exorcist.

Oh, my God.

Allow it.

No, that's just, no.

You have to eat a big spoonful every time you're scared.

Oh, my God, bruv.

I'd be stuffed, man.

From the credits, bruv.

Like, just from the opening credits, bruv.

I'd be screaming.

No way.

I used to think allow it meant, like, yeah, cool.

No.

Yeah, because I heard people saying it, and I was like, oh, yeah, because you're allowing it.

That sounds nice.

So when people said, allow it, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

Where did you grow up?

Ketter in Northamptonshire.

It shows, bruv.

Ketter in Northampton.

Northamptonshire isn't.

Northamptonshire.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Kevin, to be fair, Kevin's

quite a working class town.

Is it?

But like, yeah, yeah.

Okay, it sounds nice.

I don't know.

Maybe people say allow it down there.

But like, not when I was growing up.

Yeah, allow it means like, lie that, bruv.

Or you can say, so you allow it is like, yeah, allow that, man.

Don't bring that kind of energy near me or allow me which is just like ah stop man stop getting me stop teasing me kind of thing so yeah yeah i first had it when uh so i guess they were teenagers surrounded me on a train right uh

and they were just all saying allow it allow it one was saying it to the other he was saying

one of the guys was saying stuff about me And the leader kept saying to him, allow it, allow it.

And I was like, I mean, that sounds like he's actually sticking up for me, this guy.

Yeah, he was.

But I thought he was saying, yeah, absolutely do that to this guy.

No, no, no.

What's going on?

So I was very confused.

They probably were trying to jack you.

It was a weird situation.

I think I've already talked about it on the podcast ages ago.

But one of them was looking at me and he was.

Yeah, they were probably going to jack you.

They were kind of going, like, what you looking at.

And then I just was honest with them and said,

I'm finding this situation very scary.

You're all scaring me quite a bit.

But you know what?

That would, yeah, people would would allow you.

They were a bit like...

I didn't really understand.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

We didn't mean to.

But you're honest

to like gangsters.

They really do.

The minute you try and stick up for yourself,

you meet trouble.

I was like, this is really scary, guys.

And they were like, why are you scared?

I was like, because there's like 10 of you and I'm on my own.

And like, there's absolutely no way I'd stand a chance of this.

This is really scary.

At what time was this?

In the evening.

Last train home from

London to Ketron.

Midnight or whatever.

It's been quite late.

They started going.

You live in London now?

Yeah, but the leader started going to everyone else.

I live in London now.

To be honest, this was when I was visiting home last year.

Oh, wow.

This is like, you know, me in my 30s, saying to a bunch of teenagers, guys, honestly, this is scary for me.

And they were like...

He was eating a big bowl of scrambled egg on the tree.

Yeah.

I was like,

I'm trying to eat my scrambies.

Jimmy trying to eat his scrambies over here.

How long have you been in London now?

10 years or something, or like maybe longer than that?

Yeah, you've got to start developing a London attitude, man.

I can't do it.

I look at Hertfordshire now.

My London attitude doesn't work in a place like Hertfordshire.

It's just too, it's too mean.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, what are you looking at?

Like, you know,

you can't be doing that.

So I'm more relaxed.

But obviously, once I come to London, I already know what time it is.

I switch it on, like, depending on where I am.

Do you understand?

You leave the patty back home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Main cause, your dream main.

You know what?

I like a fusion

oxtail, Caribbean oxtail,

with

Nigerian gell-off rice.

Yeah.

I like a side of salad and coleslaw.

Some plantain.

So is this party?

This is party gell-off rice.

Party gell-off rice.

With Caribbean oxtail.

Have you tasted tasted oxtails?

No.

Oh, my days.

I've had oxtail before, yeah.

You've had it.

But not

Caribbean.

Yeah, you guys need to.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I reckon you guys would really, really like it.

Almost certainly would, yeah.

But it's, it's, it's very, it's a succulent meat.

I don't know if the game gamey is the word that they say.

That's what they hear people say all the time.

But it's, oh, man, it's like.

It's really slow cooks, right?

It's like butter, man.

Oh, man, I'm getting hungry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is there a place that does this that's like the best place?

or is there like an occasion you've had it was the best time you had it?

My wife's cooking at home.

Yeah, because you wouldn't be able to buy like gel-off rice at a Caribbean restaurant.

But obviously, because of my wife, you know, and stuff like that, like she cooks it quite a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How often do you have an oxtail?

Oh, not often.

It's gone up in price nowadays.

But back in the day, we used to have it quite a bit.

But nowadays, probably like once every like three months, really.

If that, it's expensive now.

Which is mad that it's expensive now because the whole point of it was that you're taking the bits that are a little bit cheaper and then making like magic food but they caught on to it they caught why are all these black people buying hotels and stuff like that they caught on to it and so like they just bumped the price up so yeah that's why but it's yeah it's mad expensive and it you know you get a whole tail and like obviously you have to chop it up into like little bits and stuff but oh my god man it's so nice i can't believe you guys haven't tried it no i've not no it's good because you guys got to go to somewhere a good place to actually have it in uh london you're probably looking at brown eagles um caribbean restaurant they're really good there's probably others that i'm not aware of so you got the party jello fries yes i don't want to this conversation up again but like you were saying with the regular nigerian jellofreist and the ghanaian jello fries there's a bit of a you know well rivalry well maybe that they would be on a level you suggest you know what i would say this they would be on a level playing i would this is the first time i'm admitting this ghanaian jello fries Rice bangs.

It's nice.

Yeah.

All right, Ghanaians.

Relax yourself.

Because they're probably like celebrating now.

But it bangs.

It does.

It absolutely bangs.

So Ghanaian normal jell-off rice tropes Nigerian normal jell-off rice.

But our party jell-off rice is

a different level.

And does your wife make party jell-off at home?

No.

Because I guess you've got to have like a smoker for that sort of thing.

You do, you have to have a smoker.

She just makes normal jello fries.

Yeah.

I mean, is there a party Ghanaian?

jello fries though No, they ain't caught onto that technology

No no no no there's not there's not there's not what if I mean only a matter of time right?

I mean it's only a matter of time but they use basmati rice So I don't know if it would taste the same whereas Nigerians use long grain So I don't know if the if the different rice gives a different taste once it's smoked because basmati already has like a flavor to it Yeah, so I don't know what that would taste like smoked.

I don't know You've got kids as well, haven't you?

I've got one son, yeah.

Is he into because when your wife makes this dish at home,

a full family favourite?

I mean, he likes Jollof Rice.

He's not a big fan of oxtail, but he's five.

So he doesn't, like, he's not really...

Yeah, he likes scrambled egg and stuff.

Yeah, he likes, yeah.

Oh, that's low.

My son's still on, like, you know, fish fingers and chicken nuggets and that kind of stuff.

Oh, is that him?

i do love them i mean

i'm dying

i don't often have fish fingers but i james what's going on bro i had covid recently and uh suddenly got a real hankering for fish fingers oh my god and i was like you and my son would get along yeah my girlfriend was like what do you want for lunch today i was like i want a fish finger sandwich so oh no let's not that yo fish finger sandwich yeah yeah all right you got yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah fish fingers on their own come on bro what on their own fish fingers on their own babies fish finger sandwich adults yes yeah yeah i thought you were about to say fish fingers on their own like that's no i don't have fish fingers on their own i have them yeah

potato smiley faces yeah

no i don't

but let's not yo smiley faces bang though sounds nice but i i only pick them off my son's plate oh yeah yeah i do you know when they're not looking you just pick the tape ones and stuff like that it reminds me of school man i love it man yeah i've been looking a lot on the internet lately for um i'm going to Disney World for the first time dope later this year and I'm looking at a lot of the snacks that you can get there all right but I really want the corn dog bites where it's like I do

corn dog nuggets so they're little like bits of like sausage wrapped in the or little bites of them yeah I had a pretzel at Disneyland which was filled with jalapeno and

cheese and like that cheese sauce it's like really fake and salty it was so good have you had that one Benito Everyone talks about that one.

That's the main one that gets recommended.

Have you guys had Cheeto's jalapeno flavor?

No, had flaming hot, but it was giving the double thumbs up.

You've had it.

Get yourself a packet of Cheetos jalapeno, brother.

You will thank me, bruv.

Yeah, they are the best, Chris.

I don't know why I get so

intense when I talk about food,

but bro, you will thank me, bruv.

Also, it's banging.

Joe, what I'd say you're gonna thank us, okay, because you just shouted them out on the podcast.

I bet you get a few boxes, yeah, bro.

Send me them things, bruv.

Me and my wife would be happy, bro.

Trust me.

Yeah, man.

How hot are they?

Are they spicy?

They're not like the flaming ones, but the flaming ones ain't even hot.

Right.

It's like hot for like two seconds and then that goes away.

I went to Disney Sea, which is in Japan.

Yeah, yeah.

And they obviously got all different snacks.

Right.

My wife obsessed with finding all different snacks and everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we had an Ursula from the Little Mermaid seafood steamed dumpling.

I've never eaten something that looked more like an anus in my life.

Really weird little dumpling all purple and puckered it was mad allow it allow it although um dim sum slaps yeah yeah dim sum slaps but whatever the hell you did

that don't sound like that slapped dim sum is good though dim sum is so good man i can literally eat what what are you looking for in a dim sum menu

all of them man give me the the prawn one give me the chicken one give me the veg one i want give it all of them yeah yeah and different colours those different colours i love all the baskets stacked on top of each other.

So it's like you start at the top of the building and you get in the lift and you just go down and eat everything on every side.

And as long as it's got that sauce, whether that was it, chili sauce next.

Give me that stuff, bro.

When they've got the baskets stacked up, if there's like four in each basket, say there's four of you,

you all have one each from that top basketball.

When sometimes like each of you have one apart from one person, just leaves, just doesn't have it.

And I'm like, that's the top one.

You've got to take your dumpling so we can go on to the next round.

Cause otherwise we've got to lift it up.

And I don't like lifting it up like a little hot box.

And it all just comes steaming out.

But so, like, I'm just like, eat that dumpling so we can get on to the next level, please.

And when they don't do it, it really gets to me.

It really winds me up.

So I'm just like, we've got to be working our way down the tower.

Because I'll just eat theirs.

I wouldn't even eat it.

You just eat theirs.

I'd be like, look, are you going to eat it?

Respect that.

Give me that.

You can have two off the next floor.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

That's good stuff.

But I mean, I think Ed shares my frustrations.

I do.

Well, I eat quick as well.

Yeah.

I do.

Well, we should all go out for a meal.

We'll go for dim sum.

We'd get through our food way too quick, bro.

Yeah.

We'd spend more time cussing you about your sleeve.

Yeah.

I'll be in my high chair.

Chucking your dim sub everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd better see the top of the tower easier than you guys.

Up in my high chair, so

I know what's what.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to them current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

WashableSofas.com has your back, featuring featuring the Anibay Collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out, where designer quality meets budget-friendly prices.

That's right, sofas started just $699.

Enjoy a no-risk experience with pet-friendly, stain-resistant, and changeable slip covers made with performance fabrics.

Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity, and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anabay sofa, backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund.

No return shipping or restocking fees, every penny back.

Upgrade now at washablesofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Dream side dish, we're going for plantain then.

Yeah, yeah, plantain.

Yeah,

and how are you having that done?

Oh, just fried, man.

But fried the African way, man.

I don't like the way Jamaicans do it.

And what's the difference?

They make this like almost like a it's like a it's soggy and it's very like sweet-ish.

Whereas Africans, we like ours savoury, so we'll fry it very crispy.

That's how we like ours.

Firm inside, not soggy,

not with all this syrupy kind of thing yeah to it

i'll prefer that yeah yeah so like a crispy i love plantain i love it or actually this is another good way to have it the way i said is the way i like it but for breakfast so you can get green plantains what you do you fry it but then you take them out you put them back in the um the shell of the plantain or whatever you want to call it and you smash them and then you free refry them again oh yeah take them out afterwards add a little little salt.

Does that make that with eggs?

You can have that with scrambled eggs.

No, because they actually bang with scrambled eggs.

Have that.

Oh, my tastes, they're so nice.

And avocado.

Does that make them crispier when you do it?

That does make them crispier.

It's quite oily, to be honest, but it's just so damn nice.

Yeah, very, very nice.

My wife does that.

But you've got to do that with green plantains.

Right.

Because it's less sweet.

But yeah, so it's way more savory.

Are they a bit firmer as well, so you can smash them down?

They won't all completely come apart.

Yeah, they won't.

Yeah, they'll literally, it'll still be all together, but it's just nice, man.

I don't know why I don't eat plantain every day.

Because it's like the it's the best and it's filling.

Yeah, I think I'm not, I haven't tried cooking it yet.

I've only had it like, you know, eating out and stuff.

So like, I'm not confident enough to go, I'm going to sleep by a load and then like learn to cook.

But I reckon I could.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or if anything,

I reckon there must be like something online for you to like look at stuff like that.

Cook it at home.

Yeah.

And maybe that'll be the next for your trip yeah

your dream drink oh this is hard because I don't want to include alcohol now because my dream drink is with a meal like that is super malt go have a super malt with that man a cold super malt yeah yeah now the only other time I've had super malt

he's back in the conversation because Big Zoo made me have a super malt on his show.

She's like, you've got to have a super malt.

Yeah.

And it was delicious, like freezing cold super malt.

So, you know, he knows his stuff about some.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, Super Malt.

Obviously, that's an African thing.

And like, my African brother, Big Zoo, don't get to it.

That's my boy.

No, no.

You know what I mean?

He's my African brother, but he's Jeduff Rice.

This doesn't mean.

But a Super Malt, yeah.

And it is tasty.

It's like, it's like non-alcoholic Guinness, basically, isn't it?

It's got that sort of

rich sort of multi-taste, obviously.

Never had it?

No?

Never tasted it.

It's never touched my tongue.

That's another one for you, bro.

Put it on the list.

Have you always been into super malts?

Is this like take you back to your childhood?

Yes, it does.

Definitely.

That's what we were drinking back in the day when all the adults were drinking Guinness.

All the kids were reaching for a super malt because it made us feel like big, big people.

But the taste is

for the I know there's some people that don't like malt.

Um sorry, super malt, like malty drinks like that.

But yeah, for me, I love it.

Grew up on it.

But you didn't want to chi what why have you um decided not to choose an alcoholic drink?

Just because of the meal.

because I said jell-off rice with oxtail Yeah, so the gel-off rice and super malt just go hand in hand

because the oxtail's like stewed right I guess

with the super malt perfect perfect it's like rich deep flavors.

Yeah, yeah, but if I if it was an alcoholic drink it'd probably be like a probably a Guinness a Nigerian Guinness or something like that.

That's something big Guinness foreign extra.

Yeah, that stuff's great.

That's great, bro.

First time I had that.

What's that?

It's so it's like the the stuff they they export it.

Yeah.

i think initially because it couldn't last the normal guinness couldn't last the journey so it's like double alcohol guinas is actually yeah so it's stronger than the dublin uh guinness that's what i'm saying so yeah it's better oh wow so more boozy that's the star i'm sure i've told that story on the podcast before what when me and my dad were on holiday once and we ordered a we just thought they were like normal strength beers yeah and we ordered a bucket of them at this restaurant jesus and we were like necking them and chatting and they were in this bucket of ice and i was completely hammered i think i was was about 17 and i just slid the label off off the bottle and stuck it to my head i thought this is going to be hilarious and i looked up at exactly the same time my dad looked up and he'd done exactly the same thing

i love stories about any of these guys

i love that so i think it's like 7.8 or something it's really it's a strong strong beer

wow

i've not had that either yeah

so you've got the super mold but you've also got that guinea so like it's quite similar you're into that flavour.

Yeah, man, I love stout.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got a cut back from it.

I know I'm drinking a beer now, but I got a cut back from it because I'm in the gym now.

Yeah.

But yeah, I do love a...

Is that new, the gym regime?

Yeah, I got a PT now.

I've been with him for like three months, and he's strict.

He's Scottish.

Yeah.

He's strict.

Oh, my God.

He's strict.

He's always, he's like, because before I'd be like, oh, man, I can have like a drink here and there.

Yeah.

He says, no, man.

It's like, no, like, I can't do nothing with him, bro.

Like, I hope he doesn't listen to this and hear what you say.

He will, yeah, you know what I'm saying.

If the haggard chat, you're in trouble.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So his name is Lee.

Yeah.

And I call him Iron Brew Lee.

That's why I can

say, and he hates it.

So every time I like either call him that or take the piss out of what he's wearing, like he just goes ham in the gym.

He's just like, you're right.

You're doing this.

You're doing that.

And I'll be like, I'm only joking, bro.

But he's got that Scottish, fiery temper, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

So you come in and you call him I am Brulee, even though you know that's going to get you in trouble.

Yeah,

then he makes you do everything.

Yeah, I can't help it.

It's I am Brule Lee.

It's like Bruce Lee.

Brulee.

You get it?

Brulee, yeah.

Brulee, bro.

Like Brulee.

Brulee.

I'm like, bro, it's an endearing name.

And he's just like, no,

taking a piss.

I was just like, bro,

what does he make you do?

What sort of stuff is he making you do to punish you for saying I am Brulee?

So legs.

If it's legs day, he'll take the piss.

So I'll like leg press like 250.

Yeah.

But he does this thing, I forgot what it's called, where basically I think it's like five, no, it's like six sets of four reps, but the weight is crazy.

Yeah.

But you just got, and he keeps removing, it's a drop set, but you'll just keep removing weight.

Oh my God, that one there kills.

Because you think

you're thinking, like, yeah, four or four reps, that's fine.

By the time you get to the third set,

your legs are finished, and he's just like, go on, and it's just like,

yeah, and he won't let me.

I can never, even if I say no, yeah, he'll he'll be like, go on, go on, and he'll just keep saying, go on, do it, yeah, do it.

Like, you can't move until you do it.

You make him more angry.

Yeah, if you say no, yeah, but shout out to him, man.

I'm seeing the difference because I had a big ass belly before.

Uh-huh.

It's It's going, man.

Thanks for Iron Brulee.

Thanks for Iron Brulee, man.

Sometimes do you think

you're like, I really need to, yeah, I'm not in the mood really to do the gym today, but I really need to make sure I make it count.

So just to ensure that I get an exercise, I'm going to call him Iron Brulee.

I'm going to do that straight up.

I've not done that, but you know what?

That's probably.

If you really feel like you need a good workout and really get your money's worth, you should buy one of those tartan hats with the ginger wigs.

Go in with that.

Go in wearing that.

All right, Lee.

I should, you know.

I really should.

Find different ways to piss him.

We arrive at your dream dessert.

This is hard.

I'm not a dessert guy like that.

I do like desserts.

Yeah.

I'll just go for like a chocolate fudge cake with ice cream.

Oh, no.

Hell no.

Apple crumble and ice cream.

Are you mad?

I just realized, bruv, what I was saying.

Apple crumble and ice cream.

Don't piss me off.

I love that.

It's the first time I've not seen you excited about that, of course.

You're like, I don't know, chocolate fudge cake.

This is not the Babatunde.

I've come to

the end of the day.

And then suddenly, no!

Really?

No, I just remembered.

Yeah.

Apple Crumble slaps me.

Because I was missing the catchphrase of don't piss me off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like don't piss me off.

You seemed quite relaxed about the chocolate fudge cake pissing you off.

And I was like, this is not what, this is not what we've come to enjoy.

I bet a lot of people have said Apple Crumble, right?

We have had a lot of Apple Crumbles there.

There's a long, but there's a long raging discussion about custard or ice cream

yeah and i and i'm an ice i'm an ice cream guy saying i agree with you hot apple crumble and and vanilla ice cream however

don't sleep on the custard though

it's still yeah it's still it still slaps but i'm just an ice cream man how about this how about what you see what you think about this i think my favorite combo would be hot apple crumble with cold custard.

You smoking crap.

My mum makes an amazing apple crumble and it was always get the ice get the ice cream out of the freezer gold melts starts melting but there's still a really cold bit on the top let's go so you're making your own custard anyway with the melted bit of ice cream gold

that's how it's supposed to be yeah do you get it

why you started checking your watch no no someone tried to phone me oh yeah because you got a you got a pop a watch i'm brutally i'm brilliant

where the fuck are you you heard his name

just heard you say apple crumble with ice cream what the fuck you bring Yeah, yeah.

We're drinking a beer now.

Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.

You heard his name, bruv.

Oh, I love Apple Crumble.

It's beautiful, man.

It's the best dessert.

Whoever came up with that big amount, boy.

Oh, yeah.

We'll never know.

Yeah, we'll never know.

Well, but you're gonna do chocolate fudge cake for a second.

I was gonna say chocolate fudge cake,

but yeah, but then apple crumble

reminded me of its presence.

But chocolate fudge cake, bang though.

Ice cream with chocolate fudge cake, you're crazy, bruv.

Yeah, come on.

Again, I'd probably like hot custard custard with chocolate fudge cake.

What is wrong with you?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Tasty.

Custard.

Custard?

Yeah, yeah.

I hardly, you know what it is?

I'm traumatized by custard.

That's what it is.

Go on.

School days.

Yeah.

Back in the day, I had a really nasty custard that was lumpy as hell.

Oh, yeah.

That's why.

I just remembered now.

No joke.

I actually just remembered.

That's why I'm not a custard guy.

It was a specific time or every day it was lumpy.

No, no, specific.

There was one day I, you know, school cake.

Oh, my days.

With the sprinkles?

Yeah.

Crazy.

That slaps, but I had that with custard.

Yeah.

And the custard was lumpy.

School card sucks.

This was in year five.

I literally just remembered that.

How crazy is that?

Did they ever give you the chocolate custard?

We got that at our school.

I got that, yeah.

And it always had a skin on the top, and you could see them like dig down into it.

It's horrible.

I quite like the skin.

Yeah.

Of course you did.

Yeah.

But that kind of threw me off.

Yeah.

And there was a, what's that bird's custard with the red?

Yeah.

I remember my mum tried made that.

That came out like gel.

I was like, oh, yeah.

I was like, that's disgusting.

You could get the cartons of the.

The Devon.

Yeah.

Let's go.

That's the one.

I used to drink that.

I used to go to the fridge and drink that out of the carton.

Right, you're crazy.

Yeah, I was a fat little boy.

You're a savage, bruv.

Is that the good of the same thing?

You are, you're savage.

Just straight out of the carton from the fridge.

Yeah, yeah.

If my mum had opened it, I could just go to the fridge, see what was around.

Quick squeeze from the carton into the mouth.

One of the days mad, you raiding, mad.

Wear the empty carton as a hat, bump into his dad doing the same thing in the corridor.

You're a savage, bro.

They both tip their hats to each other in a good greeting.

I used to bite the cheese and stuff.

Yeah, you're a savage, bro.

Yeah, loved it.

Okay, I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

Let's see how you feel about it.

Let's go.

Water, you want cold, sparkling water with crushed dice.

Let's go.

Poplums or bread.

Warm toasted chippata with M ⁇ S truffle chicken liver pate let's go sorry starter i apologize

never apologize for this level of enthusiasm we love it starter deep fried prawn with sweet chilli sauce from papagoni is that it yes main course caribbean oxtail with nigerian jollof salad and coleslaw keep going bro side party jollof party jollof side fried plantain Drink, super malt, dessert, apple crumble with ice cream.

Look at the gains.

Look at the gains.

Look at those.

That's what that food does for you.

Do you understand?

The food and...

That food and Iron Brulee.

Yeah.

Would you like us to make the whole thing party?

We can just smoke the whole meal.

Smoke the whole meal.

Smoke the whole meal, make it party.

Even the apple crumble?

I think that should be an option at all restaurants now.

You order something and they go, would you like to make it party?

Yeah.

That is a bad idea.

If you ate that whole menu and then next morning went to see Iron Brulee, Lee, what do you think you'd have to say?

Oh my god, he would go mad.

He would go, oh, that sugar.

Yeah.

Oh, bruv, I'd get worked at you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'd do a circuit from beginning to end.

I love Iron Brew Lee.

I love Iron Brew Lee.

Also, I think the next off-menu merch we do, if we do another

collab, we should do the little blue booty shorts.

Off-menu.

And then Iron Brew Lee can get...

Oh, Barbara will get sent a free pair of them anyway.

Bro.

Please do that.

I want to give that to him as a gift.

That would be amazing.

Send him a little bit.

Like Percival should do a shirt with

blue booty shorts, like a dude in blue booty shorts.

And I'll be like, this is you, bro.

If we do the blue booty shorts collab, then we should choose an item of food from your menu.

So I think like a bottle of super malt, but it says off menu on the label instead.

On the butt.

Or an iron brew that says an iron brew that says Lee on it.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

It should be an iron boo that says Lee.

He would have to wear that every day.

He would love that.

Let's put that on one of the bugs.

Or a booty molt.

Booty molt.

Booty molt.

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

Oh, this has been great.

Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant back to the bench.

Thanks for watching.

Have a good night.

Well, there we are.

One of my favourite apps, I think.

Let's go.

I loved it.

I laughed so much in that episode.

Laughed a lot.

Let's go.

What a catchphrase.

Wonderful company.

Wonderful company.

Babbittee.

Let's go.

Stop taking the piss.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go and see Baba Tunde on tour.

He's on tour next year with his show, Bubba Hood.

Yes, make sure you go and see that.

The gig that I did with Babatunde the other day was great.

Yeah.

The audience,

he was on first.

Yeah.

And he absolutely killed it.

So you've got to get along to that tour show.

Agreed.

Agreed.

He did not say the secret ingredient, James.

Camel's soup did not come up.

Camel soup did not come up on the menu.

He was wearing...

It's the first time we've ever had anyone wearing a t-shirt with the secret ingredient on it.

Yeah.

But that does not count as coming up on the menu.

Yeah.

Now, look, if you want to argue amongst yourselves, listeners, on social media about whether we should have chucked Babatunde out because he was wearing the secret ingredient on a t-shirt, that is up to you.

We're happy for people to debate that.

We feel like that would have been unfair.

Yes, I think so.

Wonderful time.

Great stuff.

I'm on tour as well, Ed Gamble Electric.

Go and see it.

Also, please get my book, James A.

Cass's Guide to Quitting Social Media: Being the Best You Can Be, and Curing Yourself of Loneliness, Volume 1.

Thank you very much for listening.

We will see you next time in the Dream Restaurant.

In the Dream Restaurant.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then-current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Oh, hello, it's Amy Gladhill here.

Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley.

Single ladies is coming to London.

Well, we're already in London, I suppose, in a way, but we're doing a live show, aren't we?

It's true on Saturday, the 13th of September at 7pm at King's Place.

So we've got your Saturday night sorted.

We've done all the organising for you.

Come along, have some drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, both are available.

And you can get your tickets from plursive.co.uk.

Or just head to the link in our Instagram bio and just clickety click click.

London, we're coming.