Ep 169: Ania Magliano

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

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Three-year price guarantee applies to them current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

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Me too.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, Taking the Yoke of Bad Times from the Whites of Good Fun.

Taking those good fun whites, whipping them up until they're super fluffy, adding in the sugar of conversation, and then baking it in the oven until the perfect podcast meringue is formed.

Hello James.

Hello Ed Gamble.

This is the Off Menu podcast and we own a dream restaurant and we invite a guest in every single week and ask them their favor ever.

Start at main course, dessert, side dish and drink.

And this week our guest is...

Anya

Magliano.

Anya Magliano, a wonderful comedian, just did her debut Edinburgh fringe hour and smacked the fringe to pieces.

Oh yes.

I wasn't even at the fringe this year, but I heard the buzz from London.

Oh, the buzz.

People talking about Anya's show.

I can't sleep with the buzz.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's buzzing, buzzing, buzzing.

Keeping us all awake at night.

All those old comedians.

Oh, there's a younger doing well.

So the buzz from Anya's show.

Oh, I can keep it down.

I went to see the show.

It was absolutely fantastic.

Anya is doing the show, I think, for like one last time, maybe, doing a big show at the Leicester Square Theatre on Friday, the 11th of November.

I think there'd be be a very special gig.

You should get yourself down to it.

It's at the Leicester Square Theatre, so go on the Leicester Square Theatre website for more details on that.

But enough plugging.

We'll do more plugging afterwards, James.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because we want to talk to Anya about food.

Yes.

But as ever, there will be a secret ingredient

that if she mentions, she will be kicked out of the restaurant.

And this week, the secret ingredient is...

Pink wafers.

Wafers.

Now, this is kind of based on, well, maybe we're playing dirty here, but like, you know, Annia supported you on tour.

She's a lot of time, uh, you know, that she has a sweet tooth.

Yes, so we've gone for something sweet.

Sweet.

It was also suggested by Lloyd Bushel on Twitter.

Lloyd Bushel hates pink wafers.

Everyone knows this about Lloyd Bushel.

We all say it.

We all know it.

Yeah.

Every time pink wafers come up in conversation, I say, Lloyd Bushel hates pink wafers.

Yeah.

Every time I say, would you like a pink wafer?

I go,

of course I would.

I'm not Lloyd Bushel.

That's how I always respond.

I don't.

Pink wafers are one of those foods that I can very much take or leave and I think bring nothing to anything.

Yeah, sure.

I would like to see it get the gourmet treatment, the pink wafer.

Yeah.

And see if someone can make a really nice version of one where you go, oh, actually, that's delicious.

And they've done a really nice, fancy pink wafer.

I know what you mean, but also I think a pink wafer is annoying because it's so light that it is just nothing.

Yeah.

So a gourmet version would also have to be that light and it would make it also pointless, I think.

Well, you think it'd be less compacted.

yeah the ones that we buy from shops are just compacted nothingness yeah that is which shouldn't be possible philosophically it shouldn't be poss possible should it oh yeah old Socrates over here yeah yeah

it's nothing and also so compact yeah it's a compact nothing that's I think fair to say the reason why it's pink is to try and make it look like something I think that's more than fair even even the people who make pink wafers are sat there listening to this going he's got us yeah if we'd made them grey

we wouldn't have sold as many.

Or white, even if they were like the actual colour that they probably would be.

Vanilla white.

But it's like over in

America when they have vanilla wafers, they're quite delicious, right?

Yeah, they're like

that they put in banana pudding.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

They're great.

James has got four thoughts, and that's one of them.

Banana pudding, yeah.

That banana pudding you had.

Yeah, I think about that banana pudding I had every four thoughts.

Yeah, but some some sometimes it makes sense if what we're talking about

get lucky that's when it makes the edit sometimes it doesn't make sense at all no gotta cut it out so if if anya says pink wafers she will be out of the dream restaurant i'm on tour for a couple more weeks oh yeah go and see if i've got any tickets available for anything and i've narrated james the giant peach audiobook right what

something i did

You know,

in the plug bit, might as well mention it.

Yeah, you absolutely should.

I've narrated the James the Giant Peach audiobook and the Scrobble Nucking audiobook.

Right.

Brilliant.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Potter and Dahl.

Yes, thank you.

Yeah, respectively.

Was that on the same day?

No, different days.

Yeah.

Coincidentally, the same producer, the same tech guy.

So I got to see Chris both times.

Yeah.

Nice to see him.

I really had to throw myself into the voices that I did.

It's basically my voice, but.

So you didn't throw yourself into the voices?

No, but I had to into the performance.

Right.

I'm a score knocking.

You know, like that.

Oh, all right.

I'm immediately.

I'm scored in.

Immediately downloading that.

If you're screaming, I'm a squirrel knocking.

I'm James.

Shooting the James and the Giant Peach.

Yeah.

Dara O'Brien, friend of the show.

You did him in one of them, did you?

No, but he...

Hey, I'm James and the giant peach.

I'm the giant peach.

It's quite good, actually.

But he bought the Beatrix Potter series for his son.

He likes it.

I didn't know who narrated all of them.

And said that they

he'll often like curl up with his son, just hold his son in his arms and put on a bitch.

And then suddenly it was me.

And he was like, what the?

It wasn't the nicest surprise he's ever had.

I'll definitely get James and the Giant Peach.

I can't wait for that.

So yeah, get those audiobooks.

That's the future now for me.

Audiobooks?

Reading other people's audiobooks.

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

Reading other people's audiobooks.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's like, IG, I hope you listen to the audio book.

You hear on your recording, you hear a a line from someone else's audiobook, then you copy it.

Yeah, so it's twice as long, basically.

Yeah, so I'm currently doing the Harry Potter series, listening to Stephen Fry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's a long, it's a slog, but it's going to be great.

When it's finished, it's going to be my Mona Lisa.

Yeah,

I'm definitely getting that.

But that's not what this is about.

We are about to hear the off-menu menu of Anya Magliano.

Welcome, Anya, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Welcome, Anya, Magliano, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah.

Oh, that's quite an obnoxious little genie so far.

Pretty funny, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty funny to be a bit obnoxious from time to time.

You're proud of yourself because you got Magliano, right?

You were very worried about that before we started recording.

Listen, we've got a full day of names that I can't say.

Yeah, it's a big name there.

I mean, we'll leave the listener to guess.

Yeah, yeah, who else we're interviewing today, but what a day for the genie.

Yeah.

My surname, I think, confuses people because it's got a few vowels that are close together, but it is actually how you say it written down.

I think it's pretty self-explanatory when you read Magliano, that's what it is.

Yeah, yeah.

Magliano, I guess some people might say.

Maliano.

Magliano.

That's how the Italian say it.

If I've done that, how long will this episode have lasted?

Four days.

Maliano.

Yeah, yeah.

I think that is how it's meant to be said.

I am a half Italian.

Yeah.

There's Polish in your family.

Polish.

Italian.

Italian.

Derby.

The cornerstones of Europe.

Goddamn Derby, man.

My sister used to live in Derby.

Really?

Go and visit.

Yeah.

There was a man called Boston who'd sit on the wall outside her house.

A man called Boston.

Yeah, yeah.

His name was Boston.

And he would sit on this wall.

Outside her house?

Yeah, it's Boston's wall.

And he would sit there.

In a

threatening way.

Yeah, it sounds quite threatening.

Nice man, they liked him.

It's a new little estate.

And before people had moved in, this man was sitting on the wall so when everyone moved in the builders were like yeah that's a that's boston he just sits on that wall he's a nice man and they would talk to him like yeah he's a nice man so just let him sit on the wall was it his wall did he actually own the wall no no he just would would walk over to that estate to sit on the wall no one really knew where boston lived but he would just sit on the wall and chat he chat to milton jones once Wow.

Yeah, Milton went round for dinner when we were on on tour and uh Boston was there.

Like Humpty Dumpty.

Yeah, like Humpty Dumpty, Boston.

And um um when we were in the house Milton kept on going over to the window and looking out to see if Boston was still a baby,

which he was.

You took Milton for um dinner at your sister's house.

Yes.

That's nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's pretty nice of me.

I've never I've never been taken to dinner at your sister's house.

Uh well I was you know, I was Milton's tour support so I guess you know tour supports um if you're you're a good tour support, you would probably invite the person who was taking you on tour for dinner at your sister's house.

What the fuck, aren't you?

No, my parents are obsessed with you coming back to have a glass of wine at their house after the wedding date.

Right.

Then we're doing that.

Yeah.

And I said no.

I said no on your behalf.

Yeah, we probably do need to get back, but as long as I know the invite's there.

The invite's there, you can decline it hard and fast.

I don't know.

That sounds pretty tempting.

Yeah.

Now, Anya's supported me a few times on tour, and I'm just going to say at the top, I think you two are going to get on very well towards the end of this meal when the choices start coming up.

I think as well.

Yeah, we uh we had a day in Aboris with recently where I only knew Anya was coming on the podcast, yeah, and um

everything Anya ate, I was like, Right, well, I'm okay here.

I had a terrible headache that day, yeah.

So, this is absolutely awful.

This is news to me, Anya, because um, you told me you were gonna give up sugar, yeah, I didn't say when,

yeah, okay, well, she

um, basically

saw Annie was like a wasp

all day long.

Just like

mad.

I feel like I'm in like a horrible detective series where you've like tri triangulated my alibi.

Yeah, I was a bit wasp-ish that day.

But I think it was like a team effort because Helen Bauer was there and she wasn't holding back either.

Sure.

I don't think if any of us had said, oh, I'm trying to give up sugar at the minute, I think that would have antagonised her.

You told me through it.

What did you have?

I think it was a quadruple layer chocolate cake.

Yep, it was a quadruple layer of chocolate cake.

And it had chunks in it, but I didn't get a chunk because Helen ate a chunk.

Yeah, there were chocolate chunks within the chocolate cream.

Yeah, then that was enough for me.

But then Helen went and ordered a waffle.

Belgian waffle with ice cream.

Belgian waffle with ice cream.

And I want to say another type of cake, like a salted caramel cake.

It was exactly that.

A A salted caramel cake with ice cream also.

Yeah, and then the waiter came out and said we were going to get worms.

Yes.

What?

What?

Yes.

Yeah.

What did she say?

Don't eat this.

It'll give you worms.

She didn't say don't eat this.

She went.

She just went, very plainly, you're going to get worms.

Because initially, when you said the waiter came out and said you were going to get worms, I thought you'd eaten so much that they were like, have some free wiggly worms.

Oh, yeah.

Those jelly, like jelly.

Oh, that would have been awesome.

Yeah.

Because we were going to get worms in our anus.

Is that something you can get?

She just fights from that much sugar.

She made all the sugar in this, you're all going to get worms.

And we're like, oh, that's not very good customer service.

And, like, probably, she probably got fired after that.

It was as she was laying the plates down.

Yeah, it was like, you're going to get worms on apetites.

So I've got a few questions.

One, can sugar do that?

No.

I don't think so.

No.

We did Google it straight away.

I've been worm-free my whole life, and I'm a sugar.

Yeah, that's true.

I've been riddled with them, but I think they're from other stuff.

And I don't know if you heard Anya say this very quietly, but Anya just went, She didn't specify in the anus.

Okay, yeah, yeah, she didn't specify in the anus, she just said you're going to get worms.

Yeah, you were projecting that onto her.

Yeah, well, that's what I think of when people say you're going to get worms, is the butt that you end up projecting your anus onto people is unacceptable.

Oh, my answer.

I'm as guilty as the next man.

Then the other waiter came out, and we said, Oh, she said we were going to get worms, but that waiter, I don't think, got that we were talking about like another waiter having come and said that to us so she was like i'll write you a sick note do you want to give this place a shout out

it was like being in like an immersive play all the narratives were bubbling away we were filled to the brim with icing worms yeah

i should point out that while yeah we shared all these things sure but while we were sharing them annya got out of her bag um a big bag that she'd just been to a sweet shop and got a pick and mix.

Right.

And we showed us all the pick and mix stuff as well.

So that was a car.

gloss over the fact that you also had a pick and mix in your bag

yeah

yeah i feel like you told me you were going to give up sugar just because you were panicking at the time but we it was because we'd gone into an ms in a service station and i think you talked about colin the caterpillar faces for maybe an hour and a half yeah on the way there yeah on the way there yeah

huge fan of calling the caterpillar faces i think you might have mentioned

in other issues i've got nothing else to say

i've got nothing else to talk about yeah i think well, I think sometimes, because we were in the car so much, I think that really makes you realise what you're eating sometimes because you just have to sit with it.

Whereas if you're like on the move, it's like you can be posting Colin the Caterpillar through the letterbox with your mouse.

That was beautiful.

When you do that, when you post him in your mouth, do you have him face up so you make eye contact as he's going in?

Or is he the other way around?

Have you had the faces?

Where it's just the face?

I don't think I have, actually, no.

Well, it's just the face.

That's my main problem.

I'm not buying a whole cake.

yeah I'm not insane when they started selling the individual faces yeah that must have been the best day of your life yeah I lost my mind they should start selling the feet as well I think because they're all the same they're all the same ingredient aren't they

yeah chocolate chocolate

um and I eat it a bit at a time

eyes eyes rest of the face oh so you eat the eyes first so he doesn't have to see the rest

I give him some dignity yeah please yeah eat his eyes first give the guy some dignity yeah yeah Colin

With all the Mickey Mouse-shaped things at Disney World, people ears first is the tradition.

Is it?

Yeah, you have to go ears first and then.

Do they make you do that?

Okay, yes.

Gun to the head.

Don't even think about eating that chin.

Just the Disney police running after you

if you eat the face first.

Disney cops.

I wonder if it's like psychological how you eat a face.

Yes.

Maybe it's like evolution.

Okay, go on.

You know, sometimes if you say something, we're going to require you to follow it up.

No, I'd like to move on to

sparkling water.

It's evolution.

When people eat a face,

you think it says something about them?

Well, I just think where they start.

It's interesting, yeah, that in Mickey Mouse they're eating the eyes, and in Colin, you're eating the ears.

Oh,

the ears.

Oh, God, my theory's falling apart.

It tends to just be a faceless Mickey.

So, like, it might be like a donut, a beignet that is shaped like Mickey Mouse, but there's no eyes or stuff.

It's just the silhouette is a little what it is.

It's fascinating.

And people go ears first.

I think my theory is starting to fall apart.

Well, it still might be.

I mean, you might still have something with what it says about a person.

Yeah.

Maybe, but maybe when we used to hunt big mice,

then we'd eat the ears first so they didn't have to listen to us eating the rest of their faces.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and saying,

mmm, big mouse.

How would you feel if you were about to bite into the condo caterpillar and it went, please no?

Like that, really?

Like, suddenly was a like,

I think I'd be terrified

if that happens.

That's the correct answer.

And I'd carry on.

Yeah, I think I'd carry on, you know.

Would you carry on?

Yeah.

Because his face is already, if it's a separate face, it's already off the body.

Like, someone's already done some horrible experiment on it.

So if anything, I'm putting it out of its misery.

Okay, good guy.

Don't you think?

Yeah, maybe.

I guess to avoid that, I might always eat the mouth first from now on.

So that I never thought of it.

Silence them.

Yeah, I never have to deal deal with that.

Silence Colin's voice.

Yeah.

Get rid of Colin.

Would you eat a colin the caterpillar cake that's three colony caterpillar cakes pushed together like a human centipede?

Big time.

I'd make it.

I'm the scientist who's doing that, walking away in my lab.

If anyone

wants to do a Photoshop of a scene from the human centipede with Anya as a scientist and the human centipede itself, three colony caterpillar cakes pushed together, length to length, please.

Shitting chocolate into each other's mouths.

That'd be lovely.

Yeah.

Yeah, like a little ganache.

They all love it.

They're all there going, I actually love this.

Thank you.

I'm at the end.

I've stitched myself up.

I'll stitch myself onto the last bottle.

The only scientist who would do that.

Yeah, I mean, Richard Herring on his podcast regularly asks people: if you're in a human centipede, who would you want, if you're in the middle, who do you want to be in front and who do you want behind?

Colin the Caterpillar in front, Colin the Caterpillar in front.

Yeah.

I mean, behind, I don't know, someone else who likes chocolate.

Well, no, don't it be chocolate and shit.

Yeah,

you're a human.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, but you wouldn't want a colin the caterpillar behind, would you?

No.

No, because then what you're doing, you're shitting into a colin the caterpillar, you're ruining a perfectly good cake.

Yeah.

Oh, one colin the caterpillar cake, please.

Okay, just to warn you, this is reduced because this has been at the back of a human centerpiece.

So it's going to look very similar.

But as soon as you breach that shell, oh boy, maybe that's what the ones that are just the face are.

They're the ones who are in human centerpiece.

So they're like,

in all good conscience, we can only sell the face.

It's not enough.

Anya, you're doing a tour date at the Leicester Square Theatre, which is very exciting.

I am.

It's a beautiful room.

You're going to have a lovely time.

The show is excellent.

Thank you.

I have seen it in Edinburgh.

You've just done a sold-out run at the Soho Theatre.

Yeah, you came on the most chaotic date in Edinburgh, I will say.

It was very chaotic.

I went to an extra late-night show.

Yeah.

11pm.

11pm, and it's lovely watching a comic who normally did a

four o'clock.

thirty five show yeah do an 11 p.m.

show it's a it's a fantastic show everyone loved it but there was some interesting audience members I'd say yeah I can't even I think I've like retrospectively blacked it out it was quite there was a lot I just remember something was happening in the front row that I was like I don't know what's going on here everyone in the front row was doing something interesting so there were a lot of there were a lot of couples in and they were doing that thing which is a lovely compliment but is very annoying where every time you did a joke they'd talk to each other about how much they related to that joke okay yes yes yeah but i was still doing the show that was a problem

i'd be sort of doing my show they'd be chatting yeah um also was that the one where the woman argued with me about the app where she was like she thought i was saying i was talking about i had like one joke about dating apps yes and i was trying to explain them and she got really angry at me because she was like just because i'm old doesn't mean i don't know what what they are and i was like okay sorry and then it turns out she thought i was just talking about all apps

she was like i've got apps also were you explaining it directly to her or to the room?

And she just took it to the room, but I think like

sometimes if I sometimes during that bit, I look at the old people to make them feel bad.

You've got to.

You've got to sometimes.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

I'll brand a new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade-In and MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

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Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity, and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anibay sofa, backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

If you're not absolutely in in love, send it back for a full refund.

No return shipping or restocking fees.

Every penny back.

Upgrade now at washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Raise your hand if you want your nails to look perfect all the time.

Me too.

I'm Sarah Gibson-Tuttle from Olive and June and this is exactly why we created the Manny system.

We wanted to make it possible for everyone everywhere to give themselves a beautiful manicure at home.

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That's right, $2.

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Still on sparkling water.

Sparkling, please.

Why?

I don't know.

Do you know what?

I was thinking about it and I was like, I think sparkling, I associate it with fun, but I really specifically am thinking of, have you ever been to Yo Sushi?

Sure.

Oh, yeah.

I think I know what you're going to say.

I'm completely on board with this.

Go for it.

They have the little, everyone gets their own individual taps and you get still or sparkling.

And I think they're the same price, but you have to pay to use the water at all.

But because they're there, and then if you press the little button on it and it goes shh out of the there's a tap.

It's a tap is what I'm explaining.

But seeing sparkling water come out of a tap is like, just I think blew my mind when I went there.

And so I want sparkling because of that.

From a Yo Sushi tap?

From a Yosushi tap.

So I've not used the Yo Sushi sparkling water tap before.

What is different about it when it comes out, is it the fact that it goes into the glass and you can't believe there's sparkling water in the glass or does it look different as it's coming out of the tap itself?

I think it looks different and it's coming out with force.

Yes.

And it's like

a log flume or yeah, is it to describe the taps it's two silver like sort of almost like water fountains like quaka?

Quokka?

A bit like quokka but quokka is a tap tap yes but this is more like uh you know one of those um old school water fountains which is like a sort of silver swan neck type thing

the delicate swan neck and you pay you pay for the delicate swan neck right but you you don't pay for either still or sparkling you just pay for use of the water

i've seen people just using a still oh idiots i would mix yeah you've got to do mixing right yeah yeah okay what

well you got to in the same cup when you get the opportunity Obviously, in the same cup.

But that's

what mixing is, yeah.

You're fucking idiots.

So on Great British Menu, one of my judges, co-judges, Nisha Katona, every course they'll come in and be like, drunk some more water, you've got some more water, drunk still or sparkling.

And every time she gets a mix of still or sparkling.

Why would you do that?

But that's just like weird still and bad sparkling.

It's called innovation.

She's accepting innovation.

It's not innovation.

Alan Partridge does it, which means no one should do it.

That's cool.

I think you've got to mix it.

If you're in charge of it, that's weird asking for it.

Asking for someone to do it is weird because then that's like, I wouldn't ask, if someone said, what do you want to drink?

I wouldn't say, oh, half Diet Coke, half Fanta, please.

But if I'm in charge of the

drinks fountain, of course I'm mixing them all up.

But that I understand because it's different flavours, right?

So is this

different flavour?

It's not different textures in the mouth.

I feel like you've got together before this and agreed you're going to do this to annoy me.

It's just shit.

It's sparkling water or with slightly off-tasting still water.

But it doesn't matter about the taste because it's so exciting.

It's not exciting onion.

I've got nothing else.

It's exciting.

Kerry Katona, does it?

No, Nisha Katona.

Kerry Katona's not a judge of beverages from onion.

Apparently a wonderful woman, but is not involved in the food industry.

Well, that's what a lot of people say about me on Twitter.

She's a wonderful lady, but he's not involved in the food industry.

Yeah.

Look, I think if you've not tried it, Ed, you can't knock it.

Right.

But I probably have tried it.

Or it's one of those things you don't need.

It's probably one of those things that you don't need to try.

I know what those two things taste like separately.

We have had numerous guests on this podcast say that sparkling water is too sparkling, too fizzy.

This sounds like it's the perfect solution.

The middle ground.

The cow with sparkling water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So would you do that, Io sushi?

Would you mix them up?

Yeah.

I think when you're, it's like, it's like what James said, like when you're, when you have reins of the tap, you've got to like take them to their maximum.

Yeah, what was interesting there is you mimed the different buttons holding the different buttons, but it does look like you're holding reins as well.

Yeah,

incredible mime artist, perfect for a podcast.

So the way you're doing that is two buttons like you're playing like a Sega, like a mega drive.

What?

A Sega Mega Drive.

Holy hell, granddad.

A Sega Mega Drive?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sonic.

Sonic the hedgehog.

Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah, they're sort of curled-like.

Yeah, it is.

I'm still trying to visualise these taps.

Can you squirt the sushi as it goes past on the belt?

It's not facing the belt.

But I think if you pushed hard enough, if you could spin the tap around, you could do that.

Like it is by the belt, yeah.

Yeah.

Why would you want to squirt the sushi, James?

It's a fun game.

Yeah.

To kind of like, as it's going past.

Give the sushi a shower.

You squirt at it and see if you squirt the sushi off.

And also, in Yo Sushi, it's in like a semi-little bowl dish, so you could fill them all with a bowl of sparkling water yeah a little and then someone else later on gets it but they've got the dome as well remember they've got the dome so if anything you could through the top of the dome you could fill it right up so the sushi's all bubbling around like a little fish again yeah like a little painri back to nature

that's always the the one thing that's missing in sushi restaurants for me is picking your sushi out of a tank where it's all floating around yeah

that'd be good actually yeah it would be good yeah yeah yeah we should petition that who you also when we open our own off menu restaurant we'll do that yeah yeah yeah yeah but you could get little rods, you give everyone a little rod, and they have to go and catch their sushi from a big tank.

Yeah, and there's all the rice just sort of floating around.

Oh, yeah, it's a mess one grain at a time.

You're lucky if you get any rice, actually.

I'd imagine it starts a sushi.

We get the best sushi chef in the world to make it by hand, and then we go, Thank you very much, and then we just tip it all into a tank and that's all it's chaos.

And there's fish in there as well.

Oh, yeah, there's real fish in there, and they're eating it, they don't know what they're eating.

Yeah, Joe dreams of sushi too.

Yeah,

that guy to make it it all.

Hey, still dreaming of sushi?

Welcome to your nightmare, Jiro.

Thank you.

Straight in the water tank again.

Pop loves on bed.

Oh, no.

Pop loves a bed, are you, Magliano?

Pop loves on bed.

Okay.

Does it have to be out of those two?

Or can I suggest something that I think is in that realm?

Yes, absolutely.

Peshwari naan.

That's well within the realm.

It is within the realm, isn't it?

And it's sweet.

It's sugar.

You've picked sugar bread.

Yes.

If you're not on board now, you're going to hate the rest of my choices.

No, I'm seriously on board.

I love Peshwari Nan.

It's so good.

I think the first time I tried it, I was like, this can't be right.

They can't have done this.

They can't have made this on purpose.

They've been into my dreams and plucked out a bread.

I like Peshwari Nant, but it has to be with something spicy for me.

It has to have like a sort of spicy tomato-based thing with it.

Seeing a shake of the head over there.

No, I know.

That was the subconscious as well.

I didn't really fully process doing that.

I guess I've only ever had it with spicy food.

I've never had it on its own.

I genuinely expected you to say I've only ever had it with any other support.

I thought the next words out of your mouth were going to be chocolate spread.

I've never tried that.

That's what I was waiting for.

I've never tried that.

That's a good idea.

No, I think you'd like it.

Terrible idea.

But I think the thing with the naan that's really nice about it is that it has like a similar property to what you get in like an almond croissant which is like the spread is spread out at different thicknesses throughout it so then at some points you're like oh this is i've just got bread and then at some points you're like i've got non-stop coconut yeah vibes yes i'm screaming

yeah yeah i'm screaming

you're in a really i imagine you're in a really quiet indian restaurant like you know when you go in and there's literally there's no one else in there but yeah but it just it's immaculate ready to go and you sit down and they bring the peshwar in on you at the top of your voice non-stop coconut vibes.

Doctors to spread.

Yeah.

It's got raisins in it as well, doesn't it?

Sometimes I've had ones with a raisins in it.

I've had a raisin one.

I think I've had a raisin one.

So do you want the raisin one?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Bring me the raisins.

Here's what I love about the Peshwari nine: when you tear a bit off and like a huge chunk of coconut just like falls into the curry.

Yeah.

Chaos.

Yeah.

Let the chaos rain.

That's something else you shout in the curry house.

I'm screaming in there.

The own little booth in the corner.

I guess you're right.

It must have been invented to, or like, it makes so much sense that it would go with really spicy food.

But I think any time I've had it in a meal, I've been so excited and sidetracked by it.

There was a point in lockdown where I was living with my parents and like we'd get a takeaway every week as like the structure to the week other than jobs and stuff.

And they'd have to start ordering me my own Peshwari nan because I wasn't sharing.

Didn't want to to share.

Yeah.

Quite territorial.

People like to think of those family lockdowns as a really sort of communal time when everyone came together.

I was tearing us apart.

I was tearing that naan apart.

I was tearing that family apart.

Tearing the family apart.

Do your parents have sweet teeth?

No.

Oh, actually, no,

my mum has like normal teeth.

My mum has like very, she she grew up in Poland, so like, she has very like Polish taste, which I think is quite like savoury, heavy.

It's quite heavy on like meat and like

potato.

But my dad has major sweet tooth and I think he's maybe the reason that I'm like this because he will, he's, he would be encouraging me to mix a still and sparkling water.

He's that sort of like vibe.

And quite often, like one time he he just decided that we should try and make a trifle, but instead of jam, we should use peanut butter.

I don't even know jab was it a trifle.

Is it jab?

Oh, you know like the fruit selection, the fruit selection at the bottom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jelly.

The fruit.

Yeah.

The jelly.

Jelly, you use peanut butter.

Oh no.

How thick was this layer of peanut butter?

Just, my dad is not a chef.

Okay.

He works in marketing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He wanted like a full trifle layer of peanut butter.

Yeah, sort of like if a trifle met a Reese's cup.

Yes.

So talk us through what was in the layers of the trifle.

We'll try and work out what's been replaced.

Yeah.

I think it was cream on top.

I remember being in the kitchen and being, I think there was custard.

I think, could it have been chocolate custard, maybe?

Okay.

Even.

Yeah, yeah.

And then there was definitely peanut butter hanging around at the bottom.

And was there cake?

Did you have the cake layer?

Yes, there was cake layer.

Cake, peanut butter, custard, cream.

And no jelly or fruit-based?

No, nothing to sort of break the textures.

Day.

See, I'll be tempted really to have the jelly and you can get like PB and J.

So that would be quite nice.

Yeah, that's so true.

But I think often in the war for peanut butter flavours, you either go chocolate or you go jam.

And we'd gone down the chocolate route.

So we couldn't backtrack.

Peanut butter trifle.

Chocolate peanut butter trifle.

Yeah, it was absolutely awful.

But he likes, he has very specific tastes.

Like he quite often will have like a block of Marza pan.

Yeah.

Such a specific taste.

My father has a very specific palate.

He's what you might call a connoisseur.

He ate a block of party pan the other day after making a chunk of peanut butter trifle.

Well, I didn't know you were James's half-sister.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it sounds like both our lives, it comes from our parents, it comes from our dads.

Specifically from the dads.

Fond dads, who are like these crazed mad scientists who want to make as much dessert as possible.

Did your dad keep it a secret growing up?

And then, because like with my dad, growing up, he didn't let on that he was a sweet tooth.

He kept it all secret from us because he was like, it's like you kids, you know, don't eat too much sweets, don't eat too much of the puddings and stuff that we've got around the house.

And really, he was wolfing them, but we didn't know that.

And then becoming an adult now, it's like, oh, yeah, he's fully.

I went home this weekend, gave him their presents from Disney World, because if you can't tell, that's where I've been.

Yeah.

And gave him a bunch of.

All the years have been eating off.

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, Dad.

You've got a kind of a sister on the plane.

You understand.

Gave him three bags of sour sweets.

My girlfriend and I went out for the day, came home at the end of the day.

I said, have you eaten the sweets and he went and just stuck his tongue out his brush

what amazing

i don't know i don't know if my dad kept it secret my parents were divorced so i wasn't living with him but it was definitely like he was he was open about it but i think he'd frame it as like a sort of a challenge or like an adventure rather than like a sugar addiction.

Like, well, I remember once we went for his birthday to like a fancy restaurant, like a tasting menu situation.

And at the end, with the bill, they were like, Oh, here's a big, it was like a big tray of chocolates.

And they were like, You can have a chocolate.

And my dad said, I'll have one of each.

And they were like, Ha ha ha.

And he was like, No, one of each, please.

And then, because it was so fancy, they like have to do what you say.

So he had one of each chocolate.

Legend.

Yeah, yeah.

Nothing but respect.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Your dream starter.

Now that I have to say it to your face, I'm not sure.

Right, brilliant.

But I wanted a Colin the Caterpillar.

But I thought it could be my birthday as well.

Yeah.

Well, you don't need to justify it like that, Adi.

You know, I still think that's insane for a starter, whether it's your birthday or not.

It's a great starter.

Your starter, boy.

It's a great starter.

It's one of the worst starters ever.

Don't say that.

This is hot.

This is hot off the back of a pechuary nun.

Yes.

Oh, no, I don't want to know.

I don't want to remember the previous call.

All right, okay.

So part of the genie wishes in this situation is he's men in black are you every single time.

He's knocking me over the head with a menu.

Do you want women in black?

Or do you want it to be like memento?

What do you want?

I haven't seen either of those films, so I'll pick one of them.

They're pretty similar.

I think so.

They're not similar films.

Yeah, they're pretty similar.

They both start with M?

Yep.

Yeah.

Number one.

But they start with M.

And then there's E.

There's Emmy.

Yep.

Ooh.

Emmy.

So the plot picks.

No, no, it's not.

No.

It's not called Menmento.

Menento or whatever.

But they also has a lot of forgetting in it in both films.

They're both about forgetting.

They're both about memory.

Yeah, they are both about memory in a way.

I mean, Men in Black is mainly about aliens, I'd say.

I can't remember.

I don't want aliens in my restaurant.

No.

Well, there'll be no aliens, but when we say men in black, you then...

Because if you haven't seen the film, maybe that's a weird phrase to be thrown around.

What we mean is we've got like a pen that has a red light at the top and we get you look at the red light and then we go and it goes and it just erases your memory of whatever we want.

So we just say, you didn't eat a pechoirinan a minute ago.

You had a savoury bread roll and

you are completely ready for some dessert.

And then so then you have the cotton and the caterpillar cake, you don't have to be a little bit more.

Finish the starter.

But then we meant in black at the end of that.

Yeah, yeah, we men in black every time.

That's a better, that's good technology because I was imagining you would have to hit me over the head.

That would be a very different film if Will Smith was smacking people over the head.

Oh,

well, maybe that's what he was trying to do.

Well, that's what he was trying to do.

He's trying to men in Black Chris Rock.

Forget it.

Forget it, Chris.

Forget the joke that you just made about my wife.

Forget I shouted out.

Yeah.

I'm very embarrassed about that.

I make all of you forget this.

Quite the opposite, Will.

We will never forget this.

Okay, everyone line up.

Forget.

Let me tell you here.

Bring forget this happen.

Yeah.

I want him to do it to me in the restaurant.

Perfect.

Yeah, we'll get Wilson Lither.

He'll put his shades on and then he does it.

Otherwise, if they, I guess, if they have their shades off, they get men in black as well.

Yeah.

Never really explained in the film, but

he's opposite me.

He men in black's Tommy Lee Jones at the end, isn't he?

Spoiler of that.

Sorry, Annia.

Yeah.

But don't worry, he comes back for one of the sequels.

What the hell, guys?

Sorry.

Quickly.

Men in black.

He doesn't know the end of men in black.

So you want to be calling the caterpillar cake or just the face?

I think I

want the cake, but I'll have the face.

But what do you want?

I want the whole cake, but I want to eat the face.

But I want it when you chop off his face and you get like a little bit of neck in there.

Okay.

They're all neck, aren't they?

Good question.

Yeah.

Ooh, very philosophical.

Where does the neck end of a caterpillar?

And what's the rest of it?

Yeah.

Is it one leg?

Is it just one leg leg?

No, it's not one leg, it's got legs.

Is it one leg?

How do caterpillars?

They just hop around, don't they?

Their whole bops around.

They wear one big shoe on their butt.

They're vertical.

Well, face, we know face and ass, right?

From the Colin diagram.

We know face and ass.

We know face and ass.

That's a given.

I guess the rest is neck, surely.

So just neck.

Non-stop neck.

Yeah, non-stop neck.

Colin the caterpillar, colon, non-stop neck.

Non-stop neck.

It's like something like a perv would say.

Yeah,

the neck neck goes all the way down.

The neck that just won't quit.

He had a neck all the way down to his ass.

Like a film noir.

Oh, yeah.

I'll never forget the first time Colin walked in.

A beautiful face and a neck all the way down to his ass.

Yeah, good stuff.

Someone else can write the rest of that.

I mean the film noir posted with Colin the Caterpillar is going to look great.

Yeah.

I can't wait.

Put Colin in a film.

He works in all films.

How has he not got his own film yet?

Right.

I've written it.

With Percy Caterpillar Pig.

I've been pitching it for years.

Him and Percy, surely.

Cameo.

And the Pals?

Are you a fan of Percy Pig?

Yes, I'm a fan of Percy Pig.

Don't spoil the main course.

Where would you rank the Pals and stuff?

Or where would you rank the Percy Pig products?

I think Percy, out of the Pals, I think Percy is like leaps and bounds ahead.

Yeah.

Flavour-wise.

There's a reason his name's on the packet, right?

Yeah.

He sells.

Yeah.

He sells.

I'm standing at the table.

And then Fizzy Tails,

fantastic.

Yeah.

Fizzy Sweets, I like, and maybe that's why I like sparkling water.

Because it reminds you of Fizzy Sweets.

Yeah.

Yep, the only element in the meal so far that is not linked to sweets.

Yeah, there it is.

That That is because it reminds you of tang fastics if there was a drink.

Yeah, it all comes back.

Yeah, yeah.

I can't remember what other sort of products they had.

Let me help you.

So you've got classic Percy Pig on its own.

Percy Pig and Pals, where you've got the cola cow and the strawberries.

Yeah, we're in the farmyard.

Yes,

big time.

Somebody's let all the animals run in together.

Fizzy Pig Tales.

Then you've got...

Percy and his girlfriend.

Can't remember what his girlfriend's name is.

She's like a lemonade

one.

What's that packet called Percy and his girlfriend?

Percy and Penny or something?

Is it Penny Pig?

Benito's looking it up.

Yeah, it'll be Penny Pig, wouldn't it?

I think so.

He's looking it up on some x-ray veggie websites.

I'm quite into the Veggie Percy one.

Veggie Pigs.

But they're all veggie now.

Because it used to be you have to get veggie Percy's where they had one green ear, but now all Percy pigs are veggie, I think.

Penny pig, yeah, you're right.

So we're talking the face and neck for your starter, which is a lovely starter.

I think Ed will agree that

you're the first time it's happened.

You're a starter boy.

I'm not surprised.

You don't like it.

I'm not surprised, but I'm not happy.

Yeah, but you have skipped the starter, haven't you?

Because you picked a bit of cake.

And I had a nawn.

Very nice.

Yeah, you had a naun, yeah, full of sugar paste.

But it's just like, you know, you see cheese and biscuits as an acceptable dessert.

So obviously, this is the acceptable starter.

It's the compliment.

You sort of logically got me there, really.

Yes.

I will say I was thinking of picking a different one, which was crispy seaweed, but that is also like lines of sugar.

It's quite sugary, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

But not sugary enough.

But not sugary enough, no?

Yeah, Colin takes the crown.

So, how much neck do you want?

Oh, just a thin slice.

Just a thin slice.

Oh, it's only the start of the meal, isn't it?

It's just

to get your taste buds fired.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's my birthday, that's why the whole cake is there.

Right.

Yeah.

I feel like you've added this birthday thing in an attempt to justify it to yourself.

Yeah.

Whereas you definitely don't need to do that with James in the room.

No.

Okay.

No need for justification here.

Well, I take it back.

It's not my birthday anymore.

Right, fair enough.

It's just a Monday.

I'm quite good at bringing the colin.

You bring the colin.

Yeah.

She brings the colin.

Yeah.

That's what everyone says.

Like, if there's a birthday, I don't, I think one of the worst things that could happen to someone is no one brings them a cake.

So I always bring a colin.

But it's not necessarily a colin.

It could be one of the rip-off ones.

Bring the colin sounds like a sort of early noughties rap song.

Maybe a Black Eyed Peace song.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

but or or like i don't know about an accountant who's a rapper yeah

bring the colin

i think

you guys better watch out because i'm about to bring the colin yeah colin please

please colin now you mentioned the rip-off colin caterpillar pictures then where do you stand on those i think like sometimes you aren't near an ms

Sure

so what else you meant to do, not have a caterpillar cake, do you?

Yeah.

What are you're supposed to do.

Get through a whole day without a caterpillar-shaped cake.

Yeah, and you know, I think also, what is it?

Wiggles?

Yeah, they've got different names.

I'm not really sure what their name is.

But they're all Colin to me.

Googling it, as we speak.

They're all Colin to me.

I just call them all Colin.

It's easier.

Yeah, yeah.

Doesn't make this.

That's not a good look.

Don't.

We were an alliance against Air.

We were, but I can't stand by this.

No.

And to think, up until this point, I bet someone from M ⁇ S was listening and going, I'm going to send Anya so many Colin the Caterpillar cakes.

No, we can't have that.

I'm done.

Let me see the names.

Weirdly, I can't wait for this.

Here we go.

Other retailers.

I'm going to say the names of the caterpillars and you have to tell me where it's from.

Yeah, great guess.

Is that the, or is the fun where I guess no, we don't know any of the names, do we?

I was going to say you say the retailers and we try and guess the names.

I can do a round like that as well.

There's so many of them.

You can only do one of the rounds.

You can't then just do it.

I can go back and forth.

That's just a memory.

We have to be men in blacks in between.

I mean, from one caterpillar to the next.

I do all of them and and then men in black do and then do it again.

See which format works the best.

But it keeps the one in that work.

Actually, for this one, I'm going to tell you the place.

This is good.

This is good.

Morrison's.

So I think alliteration is kind of key sometimes.

You would think that.

You would think that, but maybe, but it's clearly not.

But it could be alliteration with Caterpillar, like Colin.

Let me tell you.

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

That's what he meant, meant, you fucking moron.

What do you think?

What did you think I

could be alliteration of a caterpillar?

Like, for example, Colin the Caterpillar.

I thought you meant with Morrisons.

No, no, no, no, not with.

No.

I'll tell you this.

I'll tell you this.

There were two.

Well, I'll tell you this.

You really lashed out.

I apologise.

That there are two caterpillars here that aren't alliterated with caterpillar.

Wiggles.

Wiggles is one of them.

Oh, wow, well, where do you get wiggles from?

Sainsbury's.

Correct.

What, that, okay, this is great.

I'm going to lose this.

Now, the other one that is not alliterated with Caterpillar is the Morrison's one.

Right.

But it is alliterated with Morrison's.

Right.

We laughed at you so much.

What a redemption arc.

It's not Mark Morrison, is it?

Close.

Mark.

Is it Mark the Caterpillar, James?

I don't think the caterpillar's ever thing called Mark.

It's the most.

It's the worst.

Colin's a weird name for a caterpillar, but we're used to that now.

This is a literature.

Yeah, you don't want to rip off of Colin the Caterpillar, but I'm going to call it Mark.

Mark the Caterpillar.

No.

Okay.

You said it it was close.

Mark Morrison was close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But not the Mark bit.

Ah.

It begins with M.

Yes.

Mucky.

No.

Muddy.

No, not Muddy.

No.

Michelle.

Is it male name?

Yes.

Martin.

No.

Mr.

Caterpillar.

Michael.

Michelin.

Morris.

Morris the Capillarilla.

So I was close.

Yes.

Morris the Caterpillar.

Yes, I tried to steer you.

I go, not Mark.

Yeah.

Are you okay, yeah, yeah.

Michael.

What the fuck?

Sitting there.

Where's Cuffbert the Caterpillar from?

Tesco.

Incorrect.

No.

Not Liddle.

Aldi.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

From the scandal.

Oh, I'm heading down to the co-op.

Okay.

So

I just got an email

about our bookings for the Christmas special, so I had a little look.

Just came in.

I'm going down to the co-op.

What caterpillar's hanging around there?

Christine.

Oh, that's good.

Is it alliterative, yeah?

Yes.

Charlie?

Yes.

It is Charlie.

Yeah.

It is Charlie the Caterpillar at the co-op.

Oh, Cecil the Caterpillar.

That's Tesco.

Little.

No.

What the fuck?

Cecil sounds awfully posh to me.

Oh, waitrose.

Very good.

Yeah.

These are good clues as well, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Clyde the caterpillar.

Oh, I know this one.

Now.

Tesco.

No?

Oh, for the million fucking times.

Let's just say with Clyde, he has a neck all the way down to his ass, which he pats twice.

As a

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, right.

Just for the listener and for James, because you missed that.

Yep.

And you just patted her face twice.

Almost as if to try and remember what the name of the supermarket was.

You can imagine.

Did you remember that on the Azer address?

I really thought I was going to get away with that.

I mean, there is a Tesco one, which I feel like this should be just you guessing it.

Yeah.

Because you've guessed Tesco for every single one.

They all sound like they could be Tesco.

I can see where it is in my Tesco.

Huh?

What?

Oh, you mean in your Tesco that you got?

In my local Tesco.

For a second, it was like you were describing your own mind as being a Tesco.

I see where it is in my Tesco.

Which is also true.

You're just losing words and your vocabulary steadily and replacing them all with Tesco.

Okay, I can Tesco where it is.

Can I have a letter after C?

You.

It's not.

Cuffber.

We had Cuffbert earlier.

That was the Aldi one.

Don't worry, you did guess Tesco for that.

But Cuffbert has already been gone.

I'll give you a clue as well with this one.

It's not traditionally like a normal Christian name.

But there was a character on Coronation Street who was called this.

Oh, okay.

Got it.

I don't know that.

Yes.

Curly.

Curly detected.

Oh, I would never have got that.

Best game we've ever played on the pod.

Yeah, it's good pod.

It was a good pod game.

Good pod game.

Good pod.

Good pod.

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Mangos, pad tie.

What?

This doesn't sound right.

Yeah, but I think it's a cake.

But then

you cut into it and it's a cake.

Yeah, you cut into it.

It's a colon.

He's wrapped around like one of the noodles.

Pud.

Pud Thai, yeah.

Pud Thai.

It's a pad thai.

I had this pad thai.

It's a specific pad thai

in Thailand where I went, this is, I think I don't, this is going to be really confusing.

in comparison with everything I was saying, but I did a month of Thai boxing in Thailand.

I ate a pad

Sorry?

And I ate a Pad Thai.

You did a month of Thai boxing in Thailand and you went to Pad Thai.

What's funny?

What tickled you there, James?

It's funny that

you've got to have more of a Thailand experience.

It sounds like somebody didn't go who's lying.

Went to Thailand.

What did you do?

Thai boxing?

I know to Pad Thai.

Sounds like a lie.

Yeah, you've got me.

I'll have Percy Pigs.

But it was like in like a family family run like boxing camp.

And so it was just like the

people would like make every meal.

Like there was just in the middle of a town in the middle of nowhere.

There was like, you were just there all the time for a month.

And they made like the best food I've

had outside of my other choices.

Yeah.

Yes.

It would be so much of it.

You'd get like a plate was just like piled, piled to the brim.

The brim of the plate.

The brim.

Yeah.

I just think our plate is all brim.

Well, it's like it's the neck situation.

Yeah.

What?

What's the brim of the brim all the way down to its S?

What's the brim of the plate?

Where it starts becoming plate and starts becoming air.

Yeah,

but then I guess

I'm on both of your sides here because you said piled to the brim.

Yes.

So that just means outwards.

Right?

It doesn't mean there's a lot.

It could just be a very thin layer of pad thai.

It's like a mountain.

A mountain of pad thai.

So it's piled to the sky, if anything.

The brim of the earth.

The brim of the earth.

This sounds delicious.

What sort of, is there meat?

Is there fish?

At that time, I wasn't eating any meat or fish that would have just been tofu.

And also, they didn't really, it was mostly like tofu and vegetables being chucked in there.

And it was just so good.

And also then I left there.

And when I went back to Bangkok to get my flight, like I had like a few days there.

And then I was just getting it off the street vendors and stuff.

And it's always good.

It's always good.

It's always cheap.

That really nice fried tofu that's that's like a bit spongy

and crispy on the outside and quite soft in the middle.

I love it.

I love that stuff.

Very good.

Have you got loads of lime juice on there?

Yeah, there's fresh lime knocking around.

It's like exactly, I think, what it should be.

And since getting back from Thailand, can you find Pad Thailand panels?

No, no.

But I think I kind of knew that whilst I was there because I'd never had any that good whilst I before.

So I was like, well, this is it.

Yeah, this is going to be.

This is ephemeral.

So I'm eating that.

I'm screaming that.

You always scream at it.

So

it was so good.

And I love Thai food in general,

but that was like a particular highlight.

And I think it's because they use so many peanuts.

Right.

And it reminds me.

How many peanuts?

Reese's?

Peanut pursuit.

Lots of peanuts.

How many do you think?

Estimate.

How many per dish?

20.

Yes.

All crushed up.

It is good though, that.

Yeah.

Although I would never, yeah, I'd never really get a pad thai in the UK.

Get excited about all the other options, yeah.

Really?

And pad thai always feels like, I mean, this is me policing myself, it feels like in a UK Thai restaurant, the thing that the most people get.

So I can't get it.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's your thing.

Whereas proper, authentic pad thai sounds delicious, especially if you've been doing like boxing all day.

Yeah.

To get a plate filled to the brim of the sky.

Yeah, and maybe actually that's why all the food tasted nice.

Maybe it was awful.

I bet it was really good as well, but just being so hungry and warfing that down.

Yeah, and at one point,

one of the people who was also at the camp asked, oh, can we have a lesson in how to cook this?

And they were just like, no.

Wow.

We're doing our jobs.

We're not going to teach you how to cook this.

Yeah, yeah.

You're here to do boxing, not for a cooking lesson.

How many people at this boxing camp?

Probably like between

30 to 40 at any time.

It fluctuated because you could do different lengths of course.

So some people only came for a week, some people were there for like a month.

You sure it wasn't prison?

Oh, yes, sorry i'm thinking

because everyone does different lengths of course in prison as well don't they yeah and i did a month yeah who was the toughest person there There was a guy who was like quite intimidating and he, I won't say his name, but he was like also being a bit like weird.

And then we were like, this guy's kind of weird.

And then we googled him and found his mug shots from prison.

Oh, yeah.

So he was.

He was.

So he's done both.

Yeah, he's done both.

Yeah.

Prison and then to the Thai boxing camp.

I guess why did you end up in the Thai boxing camp, right?

I guess there was a lot of different reasons for people going to the Thai boxing camp.

Oh, yeah, no one goes there without

needing to get away from their life.

I think so.

Everyone there was like, oh,

everyone's got a story.

Everyone's got a story.

What was your story that you brought to the Thai boxing camp?

Too bleak for this podcast.

Oh, a lighter question.

What are colour the caterpillar cakes called in Thailand?

They haven't.

We're not going down that road.

We're not going to guess at a Thai name that begins with C.

But I didn't I didn't

actually have that much sugar when I was there because the whole, like, they don't really have it.

They have, they had fresh fruit after every meal and it was so good.

They'd have pineapple, which was just like, it tasted like eating like a tang fastic.

It was so sweet.

The ultimate compliment from Anya.

This is like, have we only had a tang fast?

It's like a tang fast.

I love anyone else saying that would be like, it's the best pineapple I've ever had.

It like truly tastes like what you would imagine a pineapple should taste like.

It tastes like a tang fast.

Yeah.

I would compare them to tang fast.

If you've ever had one of those, I think that's what pineapples are trying to do.

If real life was like that, like if this fruit tasted like sweets in here

in England, then I'd have, I wouldn't be needing to eat all these sweets.

Yeah.

Right, because fruit's not good.

Yeah, it doesn't taste as good.

It's not as good as it could be.

As sweets.

As sweets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your dream side.

Can I give an honorable munch at please?

To,

well, actually, this is important because my flatmate, Harry,

loves this podcast.

Loves food.

Hi, Harry.

Hello, Harry.

He is going to be absolutely devastated by what I've done today on this podcast.

Harry, I agree.

Yeah.

But he, and he is really into food, and he has taken me for lots of meals where I've I've been like, yeah, this is really good.

But I've also picked column and caterpillars.

I'm a complex woman.

And for his birthday, me and my friend Emily took him to this.

He knew about this pop-up that was happening at a pub called the Plim Sol.

And the pop-up was

like a crossover with Supyar Raman, I think I've got that right.

And they were doing like a mix of dishes and they had this like fried chicken that was like really, really amazing.

And it had like a little jammy thing thing with it so it had something sweet for me yeah i requested

the jam with a spoon before anyone else and harry went to the toilet ate all the jam with a spoon

harry knows what he's getting into though

he knows harry had a bag of skittles in his in his backpack ready to just throw them on the floor

just the red and the purple one

i think if it was my dream restaurant restaurant i'd like harry to be having his meal next to me so I can have a spoonful of his nice stuff and then go back to mine.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's nice.

There's a little palate cleanser between your big buckets of sugar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course you can have that.

So this fried chicken was like so amazing that it was this thing, which I didn't know you could live like this, but I've discovered it.

It's like, if you really enjoy something, you go, can we have another one of those?

In the restaurant.

That's such a cool way to live.

You feel like a king.

Yes.

I think.

But then towards the end of the meal, and if you do that a lot, like I do, do, you feel like a very specific king.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of wives.

Dad's wife.

Burger king.

The burger king.

Yeah.

The king of polyamory.

But I'm going to pick a pick and mix.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

How have we just gone from the Plimsoul, which I've still not been to the Plim Soul, but the four legs guys that went to their original place,

lovely.

There's such good cooking.

They did one of the best burgers in London.

That fried chicken sound amazing.

Supuramen, incredible.

And now we're going with pick and mix.

I've seen Anya do this.

I've seen Anya pull out a pick and mix, you know, mid-meal.

Yeah.

It would be so inauthentic if I didn't pick pick and mix.

Like, you don't understand.

It would be like a dishonour.

I think it's one of my like go-to questions about a per for a person.

Yes.

Like if you were on a date or like a friendship thing, you want to be asking what their top three pick and mix are.

Top three pick and mix.

Yeah.

What your top three pick and mix?

They've changed recently because recent new entry at the top is

white and pink chocolate mice what the fuck that's bottom

no

look don't look at me to start trying to talk about like ranking within this this is a side dish have you ever had pickamix yes of course i've had pickamix this is a side dish ed so we shouldn't even be discussing this whatsoever so what are you talking about okay fizzy watermelon

strawberry with a white thing just quickly

top in the top five worst menus ever so far what are you talking about this is like you're going to be a hero to so many people aren't you

to you your dad and rosie jones those are the only three and your own dad let's not forget yeah yeah yeah

this is great i actually but i i like sweet things but i'm a i like i'm crawling back he's crawling back no i hate pekamix i hate pekkamix i don't like sweet sweet sweeties like sweetie sweets

sweet you know sweetie sweets sweetie sweets sweetie sweets but i definitely even the the chocolate mice has surprised me because it is the worst chocolate and it just coats your mouth with like oil.

That's chalky as hell.

Yeah.

I like it.

My name is number one.

It's only, I think it's number one.

Maybe it's like

a red, it's always a relative scale because sometimes you get a favourite in the top and then you're like, I've chucked a white mice and then you're in the film and you're like, oh, that was a nice surprise.

I liked him.

Next time I'll get more.

Him.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's after you've eaten him as well.

You're going to get it.

I'm there you go.

Morris the mouse.

Mark the mouse.

Mark the mouse.

Mark the mouse.

I like jazzies as well, like the little discs.

So again,

this is interesting.

What's yours?

Well, I've become more the giant cola bottles.

Cola bottles for me, if I have to.

The foam dinosaurs that are like, you know,

they're kind of gelatined on the top and the foam on the bottom.

Yeah, anything like that.

The snakes,

the snakes, big snakes.

Yeah, the biggest.

I do like it all.

Oh, God, it's good.

Foam shrimp can fuck off, right?

Yes, I guess so.

They can fuck off, but I like foam bananas.

Oh, of course you do.

Yeah, you like fake bananas.

I think there's a real limit on the foam bananas, though.

Like, you can't eat like 14 of them.

No, I can eat 14.

I like you're trying to sound casual about it, but you know the exact numbers of what you could eat of everything.

You could eat 14.

Off the top of my head, 14.

Yeah.

Very specific about.

Well, I've tried and attempted once

I've.

How's this meal looking?

So obviously this is a side dish.

Yes.

It's looking awful.

I'm going to admit that.

Yeah, so you've got the pad thai and then a bag of pick and mix next to it.

Is it in like a cinema bag?

That's the same thing.

And

I'd spade myself.

You'd spade yourself, yes.

Wow.

So you'd go, you'd be eating your pad thai and then you'd go to the thing and spade yourself.

Like a

like a well-trained dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

So how often are you spading yourself?

Are you, uh, you, is it like you eat a bit of pad thai after the thing?

I think I'll finish my pad thai.

No, I think maybe I'll finish, I'll have like half and then I'll like go get excited.

I'll do, I'll spade myself and then I'll come back and then I'll finish the pad thai and then I'll be like, well, this side is really actually for the transitional period before Mayen and pudding.

I see.

So is it a side because you're not like eating a bit of pad thai, popping in a chocolate mouse?

Probably not, but sometimes I think it's maybe a bit like when you go to the cinema and you haven't gone into the screen, but the person you're with has gone to the loo and you sneak a bit of pick and mix out of the bag.

It's like that sort of like naughty pick and mix.

Why do you have to wait until they go to the loo to eat some pick and mix?

Because it's a secret.

Do you agree with this, James?

For the sake of the pod, yeah.

It's a secret and you wait till they go to the loo.

I think if you're if you've got a bag to share,

I see, so it's it's a bag to share.

Yeah.

Do you do that?

Yeah.

Now I have to.

Okay.

Who are you sharing with, though?

Who's stupid enough to say, yeah,

I'll share that with Anya.

Yeah.

And then they go to the toilet in the full knowledge that when they come back, everything's gone.

Yeah, everything's gone.

There's one colour bottle at the bottom.

I've left the cinema.

I'm running out.

Do you want to be watching a film at this point in your meal?

I want to be watching the adverts because I always finish my pick and mix in the adverts.

So the adverts can come on.

Don't have to tell us that.

That's normal.

Yeah, yeah.

How much have you got?

I've actually been quite restrained recently.

Yeah.

Because I was realizing it was making me quite sad.

I'd be quite sad afterwards.

And they're gone.

No, I think just because I ate too much sweets.

Massive sugar crash.

Massive sugar crash, yeah.

And I think you had this experience of being around me as well.

Like, I will eat so much sugar and then feel really terrible and be like, I don't know why I'm feeling so bad.

It's exactly what you want for material support.

Showed up in their own right before.

Absolute crisis.

Yeah,

7.30 comes around, just as the sugar really dips.

I'm sad.

I feel so sick.

I don't know why I've got that sad piece happening.

I guess maybe you would want pick and mix made out of vegetables or pies.

I don't know.

Or pies.

Little pies.

I don't know something savoury.

I'd love a little

mini pie.

A bag of hot mini pies?

Cheese pick and mix.

That's what a cheese board is.

Cheese pick and mix.

Yeah, you have a cheese pick and mix.

I think a cheese pick and mix in a cinema.

Or even a mini hot pie pick and mix.

Yeah, I think if you put it in a bag of pies and cheese

it's gonna be like fucking hell.

Oh, yeah, there's a reason that because occasionally you might be in the cinema and someone brings in hot food from outside and it stinks and it's horrible and it's weird.

Even nachos is such a weird cinema choice.

Yeah.

I heard someone brought in a roast chicken once.

A hot roast chicken.

Yeah.

Really?

Like

from a supermarket rotisserie?

Yeah, I don't know the details.

I can't remember what I saw.

I saw someone eating something weird.

Oh, no, maybe it was me.

I was eating.

I also once had a...

Then you do know the details, yeah.

No, no, no.

I ate something weird in the cinema, which was nothing that weird.

It was a packet of vegan ham.

It's quite weird, I mean.

But then I posted on Instagram being like, what is the weirdest thing you've ever seen someone eat in the cinema?

And loads of people who worked in the cinemas said they'd had to clean up stuff and they'd seen someone bring in a whole roast dinner in like a Tupperware.

Wow.

I kind of want to.

And someone else said roast chicken as well.

I do respect that a bit.

Yeah.

Next time I'm going to go to a supermarket and buy a rotisserie chicken.

I think Cuthbert chicken.

Cuthbert chicken, yeah.

Every time someone gets the nachos, I think, what the fuck is the matter with me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spider-Man No Way Home, I had someone sit next to me eating a full like dump's worth of nachos.

I was like, what the hell is that?

Dumps worth of stuff.

It smells like they've got someone to dump it, like a giant nacho has taken a dump on a plate.

I thought you were suggesting that the amount that they were eating was going to fully form the dump that they did.

Well, I think it would have.

Yeah.

But it's an odd way of judging the quantity of food.

And what's a dump swift?

I can't eat that much as a dump and a half.

I'll not be done with that.

It's in a couple of days.

I've not got the time.

Dream drink.

Yes.

Staying sweet?

Yeah, well, I guess actually, it's quite fitting.

I've only had this like once or twice.

I don't know if it has a proper term, but like red wine when it's fizzy.

Okay.

That does exist.

Lambrusco?

There's Lambrisco?

I think it is.

That's what it's called.

Lovely.

Can be sweet.

Or a Tango Ice Blast.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There we go.

No, no, no.

I'm picking fizzy red wine.

Yeah, Lambrisco is lovely.

It's really nice.

And it feels weird whenever you're drinking it because cognitively...

when you take the red wine to your mouth, you don't expect fizz.

But that's fun.

But that is fun.

Yeah, it is fun.

It's very tasty and nice, chilled down, and can be quite sweet and plummy.

He's coming into his own now.

Yeah, now he's

after the pick and mix.

Thank you for picking that up.

He felt like he was in

a waking nightmare.

Where have you had this fizzy red wine?

I had it once in Italy.

I was going to say, you said there wasn't, you know, no Italian things anyway.

It is Italian, isn't it?

Yeah.

And I have had it in an Italian restaurant in London as well.

Because I thought you were going to go with, because I saw this for the first time the other day in Marks and Spencer's.

There's a Percy Pig soda now.

What?

There's a fizzy Percy Pig drink.

Oh, man.

I just like this one.

Which looks thick and pink.

It looks like they've...

Is it like

milk or something?

Percy, come.

Absolutely.

He loves it.

Of course I do, because it's right up my street, humour-wise.

It's, you know, it's blue-whimsy.

And also, and you apologised immediately.

Percy, come, so sorry.

To be fair, it's only a matter of time, isn't it?

Like,

every part of his body, they're doing everything with it.

They should let me make it.

Let me design it.

Make it?

You know what that entails?

They should let me make it.

Yeah, what do you mean?

What was that reality show where someone wanked off a pig?

The farm.

Yeah.

Rebecca Lewes.

Rebecca Luz wanked off the pig.

Yeah, Rebecca Luz.

You'll be the new Rebecca Luz.

Pigs have got corkscrew-shaped dicks, of course.

Yeah.

Really?

It's fantastic.

My friend once, or my friend's brother, when we were at school, made Percy Pig vodka.

Wow.

He basically just took a bottle of vodka, dumped a load of Percy Pigs in it two days later.

It was just like this thick, jelly liquid.

The booze, like pure booze, but just tasted like Percy Pigs.

Noted.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, yeah.

Your eyes went very wide though.

Absolutely lethal.

Yeah, we're just thinking like my life would have gone.

So I wasn't into booze at school.

Yeah.

I didn't understand the appeal of it at all.

But if someone had done that, my life could have gone very differently.

Are you going going to raise a toast was that a reference to it no not in reference to anything i'm just wondering when you have your glass of wine are you going to raise a toast i feel like i'm being bullied no i don't know what he's on about either don't worry mate nobody's bullying you

yeah toast yeah

i think it's gonna be a new question that i'm gonna ask every time

unfortunately only you're you've just become part of a new format that james hasn't warned us about again every time someone takes wine i'm gonna ask them if they're gonna raise a toast yeah this is like when he started asking people um do you want an amuse bouche?

And then he just stopped doing it

just for a bit.

He used to ask, Do you want an Amoz bouche?

And then he just got bored of that.

So apparently, the new version of that is, Do you want a toast?

You're the first person he's asked.

Do I want to erase a toast?

Yeah.

Oh, cheers, Harry, because he's sitting over there with his meal.

I'll cheer him.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's good.

So, so, what will your speech be?

I thought we were running out of time.

Yeah, that's that's a good point, actually.

We are running out of time.

Your dream dessert, then this is exciting stuff.

Apple crumble.

Alright.

That's pretty good.

Ironically, the most savoury thing you've had so far.

But

I would like to pitch my idea to you, James, because I have told Ed about this.

I want to hold a crumble party.

Okay.

Yes.

Where everyone has to bring a different flavour of crumble that they make themselves.

I think that's a very good idea.

Thank you.

What would you call the crumble party?

Crumble party.

Colin the crumble party.

Yeah, Colin in the crumble.

Crumble party.

I thought it was like, you know, there's the rumble in the jungle.

You could call it crumble in the jungle.

And have it in the jungle.

Yeah.

Crumble party to me sounds like something that would be in one of those big, like, me too exposés on a 70s celebrity.

They won't talk about it.

And every week he used to have something called the crumble party.

Yeah, it does actually.

Yeah, it sounds really bad.

And we'll be like, how do we not see the signs?

They were having a crumble party every week.

And the BBC let them host a crumble party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What?

That tax house money.

Who did this?

Now, we've talked about this.

We have talked about the crumble party.

And I think I obviously introduced the notion of a savoury crumble to that.

Of course he did.

Would that be acceptable?

Like, what you bring is up to you, but I'm not going to eat it.

No.

Right.

But

isn't there one element of the crumble party where all you can obviously crumble, you can just see the crumble?

Is there not a mystery element?

Crumble.

That could be fun.

You go, there's like maybe eight crumbles all lined up, and you go, I'll have a bit of number two, please.

And everyone eats a bit of number two, and they vote.

It's like crumble pick and mix.

Crumble pick and mix.

Yeah, crumble pick and mix.

I mean, with pick and mix, you can see what you're getting, I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

This is completely like roulette.

Crumble roulette.

Crumble roulette.

Yeah.

Crulette.

Crulette.

Crulette.

Would you not.

So, and then vote at the end of the night for the King Crumble?

Yeah.

See, I didn't imagine it as a competitive thing.

I imagined it as a wholesome as a party.

But you've turned it into a

horrible, horrible company.

You've formatted it.

You've done that because you wanted to bring a savory crumble.

And also, I want to win the crumble.

So, in order to figure out how to bring a savory crumble, you've turned it into a mystery crumble thing where everyone has to eat it.

Yeah.

All of them.

Yeah.

And the problem with me is

I want to be able to win the party.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have to be able to win the party.

Come along.

I'm King Crumble.

I think that savoury crumble, great, great idea.

Fine.

Yeah.

It's not my priority.

My priority is apple.

My priority is rhubarb.

Yeah, your priority is rumble.

I like a rhubarb.

Apple and rhubarb.

Yeah.

Together.

Sometimes.

A corstum pressed crumble.

I can make a crumble.

That's like the only thing I can make.

I'm a terrible cook, which probably won't be a surprise given everything else I've said.

I don't know, you spayed your own pick and mix.

To your credit.

I can make a crumble, but I'm not allowed in the kitchen if my mum's making one because I eat all the crumble before it goes into the

pot.

Have you never you've must have had that.

What, raw crumble?

Yeah, when when the crumble's being made and you're mixing it with flour and butter.

Yeah, and sugar.

You don't actually necessarily need to put do you need to put sugar in that bit?

I don't know, I have no idea.

I've never made a crumble, but.

You don't need to do anything.

Yeah, I suppose.

Good point, actually.

You don't need to do anything.

Have you made a crumble?

No.

What?

Oh, well, you know.

Hey, I'm surprised.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Surprised I've never seen it.

I haven't eaten a few in his time.

I've eaten a few, or I'll I'll admit that.

You have to make one, though.

I ate one the other day, mind you.

my sister made a uh an apple and damson crumble did you take a bowl out of a boston yeah we ate

we're having crumble party

you stay on the wall i'll bring it over now big question calling the caterpillar crumble oh my god was that good question no obviously not big question is um what are you having with the with the crumble what's going on top of the crumble because this is a huge talking point also is the dessert this one crumble or is it that you have a crumble party i'd like to have a crumble party i've never had it before yes no one will come No.

I think a lot of people would go to this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got your different crumbles people have bought.

Yeah.

What are you having with the crumbles?

Is it the same thing for all the crumbles?

Have you got different

full of different stuff?

Maybe it's different.

I would go with the chili concarni crumble, it would be a lovely sort of natural cheese sauce, maybe.

Oh, that's yup.

Yup.

Oh Christ.

That's fucked up.

That's a dumpsworth right there.

Oh, yeah.

That's a couple of

dumps with.

I think this is maybe the one thing where I kind of diverge from like my traditional values in that like I wouldn't wouldn't just spoon another sweet ice cream onto it if it didn't go thematically with it.

So you wouldn't put like cookie dough ice cream on it?

Yeah, I think I would actually go for like a custard sort of thing or like a vanilla, like a little bit of vanilla that's like melting on the crumble situation.

Cold or hot custard?

I will go either.

But I also eat cold crumble.

I think crumble the next day, like you've made a tray of crumble, the next day, 4 a.m.

You're in the kitchen, you're eating the cold crumble.

the next day when you've just woken up naturally

in the kitchen

i think crumble works in like no matter where it is i guess 4am that's when like your mum who's guarding the crumbles dozed off right

she's asleep on the floor the shotgun's got just

drifted down

she doesn't know what they're doing it's on the rocking chair yeah yeah cold crumble hot custard great

yeah hot crumble cold custard Also great.

Temperature change.

Yeah.

I'm injure me back to you now, see how you feel about it.

Water.

Sparkling from Yosushi from the tap.

Poplums or bread, pechwari naan.

Starter, colin the caterpillar, face and neck.

Main, pad thai from Thailand, from the boxing school.

Side dish, pick and mix, and a bite of Harry's fried chicken.

Yeah.

But Harry's there for the whole thing, and you can dig into his meal whenever you like.

Is he not looking disgusted with you throughout this whole meal?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's angry.

Yeah, he doesn't like any of this.

Drink, Lambrusco, Make it a toast to Harry.

Dessert.

Having a crumble party with custard or vanilla ice cream, depending on what people want.

And you would like the apple crumble specifically.

It's the one you'd be most excited about.

I mean, Ed, you say this is like top five worst.

Okay, that sounds great.

I think a lot of people are going to think that sounds pretty great.

Well, I read it back just now.

It didn't sound like a disaster.

I'll have what Harry's having.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be when Harry met Eddie.

Yeah.

Look, I'll have a glass of Lambrusco.

I mean, I don't even like Pad Thai that much, but the Pad Thai, the tofu sounds good.

Yeah.

And then I'll have a bite of Harry's fried chicken as well.

And you're bringing your chili concarni crumble to the...

And I'm bringing my chili concani crumble to the crumble party.

I really think I love the idea of just a big vat of tiny little mini pies, savoury pies, and you get a shovel and shovel.

I don't want that to be the takeaway from my episode.

Isn't that that gets made?

No, you know.

The takeaway for me is that he's been thinking about that since we talked about pick and mix.

And then you're just throwing whole little mini fries into your mouth and can i have a box of chocolates with the bill yes one of each

one of each of course

anya thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant thank you

now get out that is disgusting what you've ordered

There we are.

Thanks very much to Anya for coming in.

Captain My Captain.

Despite having a dreadful menu, but she gave me a heads up that I wasn't going to enjoy it, so I sort of knew semi what to expect.

Menu of champions.

I think a lot of people are going to

be praying at the church of Magliano from now on.

A lot of my sweet tooth brethren who are listening to the money.

The sweet tooth brethren are the name of the sort of order of monks at the church of Magliano.

Yeah.

We all go there and we get giving a pick and mix.

Well, you have to walk up and the priest pops it in your mouth, right?

Yeah, it goes like,

I don't know what part of Christ it would be.

No,

yeah.

I guess the sweetest part of a body is the nipples.

Yeah, so nipples of Christ.

Yeah.

Little fried eggs.

Little fried egg pig and mix.

Nipples of Christ.

Nipples of Christ.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, that's good stuff.

Sweet to be with you.

And also.

And of course, the Christ that is on the cross is Bertie Bassett.

Yeah.

Because he's made of sweets, so he's up there.

Yeah.

on a big chocolate cross.

Well, this is a ref that should have been in the show.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, all the riffs in the show are about come.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess they might be edited out, but again, I mean, definitely.

Maybe one.

Maybe it was one too far.

I think the Percy Pigs come will still be in there.

Yeah.

Basically, whatever you heard on the podcast, there was probably one more.

Yes.

There was one extra one.

One more.

One more camera.

Yeah.

But like, yes, apologies.

But look, it was an awful menu on that.

We're agreed.

Great menu, everyone thinks it's the best.

She didn't say pink wafers.

She did not say pink wafers.

She said every other piece of crap.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, in the pick and mix, you must have been thinking.

Yeah.

I mean, even though it's not traditionally in there, who knows what was going to pop up in that pick and mix?

Man, mini hot pie pick and mix.

Yeah, you're going to be dreaming of that for a while.

Oh.

I would want the pies to be full of marshmallows.

You've got a problem.

Yep.

Thank you very much, Danya, for coming in.

You must go and see her show.

Absolutely no worries if not.

Yep.

That's the name of the show.

I'm not saying that there's no worries if you don't go and see it.

Sure.

You must go and see it.

The Leicester Square Theatre, Friday, 11th of November.

Go on to the Leicester Square Theatre website for details.

It'll be fantastic.

It will.

It'll be fantastic.

Oh, yeah.

Good one.

Thanks, man.

That's good, actually.

Don't forget, James has narrated James and the Giant Peach audiobook and Squirrel Nutkin audiobook.

Don't forget that.

Make sure you listen to them

in whatever order you want, actually.

Those two.

Yeah, it doesn't matter, does it, really?

They're not part of the same universe.

Yeah.

Yeah, so it's okay.

I'm still on tour for a couple more weeks, I think, if you're listening to this when it comes out.

So check out edgamble.co.uk for tickets.

I've still got the classics, you know.

I can't wait to see it.

Warwick, Birmingham.

Oxford, I think.

A few more, you know.

There's some good towns, man.

Oh, man.

The last three are Bath, Warwick, Birmingham.

Lovely.

Oh, what a great trio to finish on.

Yes, very excited about doing the rest of the tour dates and also very excited for arrest.

But come and see me for the last bit of the tour.

Didn't know you were getting arrested?

You excited for me?

I'm going to get arrested on the last night of my tour for everything I've said.

For crimes against comedy.

Yes, correct.

You've not seen the show yet, but yes.

Thank you very much.

We'll see you next time.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Oh, hello, it's Amy Gladhill here.

Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley.

Single ladies is coming to London.

Well, we're already in London, I suppose, in a way.

But we're doing a live show, aren't we?

It's true on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At 7pm at King's Place.

So we've got your Saturday night sorted.

We've done all the organising for you.

Come along, have some drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, both are available.

And you can get your tickets from plursive.co.uk.

Or just head to the link in our Instagram Instagram bio and just clickity click click.

London, we're coming.