Ep 167: Rina Sawayama

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast taking the chickpeas of conversation, the olive oil of humor, the lemon of chat, and the tahini.

There's more ingredients in Hummus than I remembered.

Quite a lot, isn't there?

Yeah, it's not as simple as people think.

The tahini of friendship,

putting it in the blender of the internet, and whizzing it up to produce one wonderful podcast.

That is it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Casser.

I didn't know Tahini was in Hummus.

And this is the Off-Menu Podcast.

We own a dream restaurant.

We invite a guest in every week and we ask them their favor ever.

Start a main course, dessert, side dish, and drink.

Not in that order.

And this week, our guest is Rina Soriama.

I don't think Tahini has to be in Hummus.

I think he can be.

Oh, yeah, optional.

Rina Soriyama is a fantastic musician.

I'm a big fan.

Very excited for this episode.

Very excited.

It's not often we get musicians on, James.

No.

And, you know, more fool us.

More fool us.

Also, I just think sometimes musicians don't want to come on our podcast because we're so cool.

You know what I think?

Go on.

Never mind the buzzcocks has really damaged comedians when it comes to getting musicians to approach them.

Yes.

Because it used to be back in the day, you go on buzzcocks and they just take the absolute piss out of you.

And now, anytime a musician hears, like, oh, do you want to go on this thing?

It's these comedians who go, nope, because we know what's going to happen on that shit.

And, you know,

I'm always aware of it.

When I interview a musician, talk to a musician on TV or podcast or whatever.

I'm aware that they see me as some cocky little shit who's strutting into the room ready to try and make them look silly.

And I wholeheartedly am grateful to any musician who comes anywhere near me.

Well, bad luck because I'm going to tear her a new one.

Oh, no!

I'm absolutely going to

take her apart, mate.

Oh, God.

I'm going to roast her.

Well, it was good cop, bad cop, I guess, this episode.

But listen,

I am going to be nice as peach pie.

However, if Rena says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be gross, usually, then we do have to kick her out of the dream restaurant.

That's the format.

So sorry, Rina.

And today, the secret ingredient is banana yogurt.

Banana yop.

Banana yop.

No, thank you.

Now, this is your suggestion.

This is from you, from your heart.

Yes.

You don't like banana yop?

I don't like banana yop.

Never really a fan of banana flavoured things, as we've discussed before.

I love banana-flavoured things.

Yes, but yop, especially like that sort of like milkshake you can buy from a news agent.

Made

always hated it.

Is yop made of yogurt?

It is, isn't it?

Is it?

I think yop is a yoghurt milkshake.

Oh, god.

So that is why it's what.

It's a yog shake.

It's a yog shake.

And you know, I had some yop maybe when I was an open spot, open spot comedian.

I used to drink yop every now and again.

Yeah, of course.

Imagine you walking around town really early in a town because you had to get the early train ticket because it's cheaper.

Big backpack on, strutting around with not a normal sized bottle of yop,

a 1.5 litre bottle of yop.

Yeah.

Just swigging it from the bottle.

Yeah.

Like just going, walking around town.

I was once walking around London drinking a yop

and

this is right in my first year being a company.

This is 2008, this would be.

Walking down the street drinking a yop and a car of youths slowed down beside me and one of them leant out and said, drinking yop like a tough guy.

And then they drove away.

Right.

Well, so yop should be your suggestion as well.

Yeah, I didn't like it when that happened and I especially didn't like it because I tried to turn it into material at the time and everyone thought that I'd like made up a inconsequential silly weird thing that had been said to me.

So it didn't work.

So I was doubly annoyed because I was in an open spot desperate for some material.

Told them that someone was shouting that at me and they were all like, yeah, whatever.

But because of course 2008 was the era of people making up things, anecdotes.

Also, I did an Edinburgh show, Peacock and Gamble Heart Throbs in 2013

where we were sponsored by a butter company and we had to plug the butter throughout the show and Ian had to eat some of the butter but the conceit was that he left it too late so it was all melted by the end and he had to drink it and that was always banana yop

so it's supposed to be it's disgusting he's drinking all this melted butter but by the end of it all I smelt for the whole show was just this hot banana yop oh geez and then Ian had to drink it and quite often he would be sick

yeah okay so I can see why you don't like banana yop banana yop yeah well that that is it then yeah if banana yop comes up and I don't think I ever want to drink it again after hearing that no then Vina will be out but hopefully that won't happen I'm not sure it will Vina's also got her new album out Hold the Girl

out now you should all buy it listen to it she's got a hot sauce a hot sauce called this hell that's very exciting you you had some for lunch so it was delicious very very nice I mean and it's going on tour soon so there's ever it's all go you can listen to the album while swigging the hot sauce of watching her live yeah bit weird to listen to the album while you're watching her live listen to the album on the way to the gig listen to this podcast during the gig

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

And then that's

other completists.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll ask her.

This is the off-many menu of Reena Sorayama.

Welcome, Reena, to the Dream Restaurant.

It's beautiful.

The ambience is amazing.

Who did the design?

Welcome, Rina Sorwayama, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

I'm so happy to be here.

Who did the design was the question, James?

Who did the design on the dream restaurant?

Me?

Was it not Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen?

It was.

It was.

I always lie and say it's me, but it was Llewellyn Bowen.

Yeah, he picked it up.

You could see right through him.

No, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Well, it used to be you, right?

You designed it, and then he came in with the changing rooms team.

Yeah, I didn't know.

Yeah.

You lot had arranged for me to go out and like do.

I thought I was having a nice day out, and then I turned up, and everyone was like, What do you think of this?

Purplet on the floor.

Yeah, purple velvet.

Very comfortable.

Is that how you're visualising your dream restaurant?

Has it got a lot of purple velvet?

No, we're in the dream restaurant right now, and I can feel the purple velvet between my toes.

But you know that the dream restaurant is all from your, it's all conjured up from your brain.

Everyone sees a different restaurant.

So it's your dream here.

And you're in it.

We're in it.

Why are you guys in it?

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry about that.

Can we stay?

Yeah, yeah.

Hope we can.

Llewellyn Bowen, man.

That was not the name I was thinking of, like, you know,

like manifesting into the universe this morning, but I don't know it just came out so it must have been in my book you're at the cutting edge of music and the first person you've uh

you've come up with is Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen yeah but he's quite you know I would say he's the TV equivalent of like you know hyper pop and stuff like that

Llewellyn Bowen yeah that is such an incredible statement

Lawrence Lwell and Bowen is the TV equivalent of hyper pop yeah yeah I think he's everything turned up to the max that is true we took it for granted in changing rooms I feel like you know surely Timmy Mallet is more turned up to the max than Llewellyn Bowen.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe like Llewellyn Bowen is more like,

more sophisticated.

Llewellyn Bowen's like Sophie and Timmy Mallet is like 100 Gex.

Okay.

Just loads of things I haven't heard of.

Just

throwing things to Ed that he doesn't know.

I know Timmy Mallet.

Yeah, yeah.

You know Timmy Mallet?

Mallett's Mallet.

Yeah, that's where my brain is now.

Would you agree with my...

I think I've nailed it there.

Kind of.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even Rina doesn't know what to say.

Yeah, yeah.

Vina absolutely doesn't agree with it.

Yeah.

No, it's it's I just like I don't like I'm so careful about like being cancelled by hyperpop fans.

So I feel like any comparison of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen to any hyper pop girlies is going to be cancelled today.

Is that what it takes in the hyper pop community?

Oh, yeah.

It can give me anything.

Yeah.

And then my entire career is shot.

Wow.

But at least we're in the dream restaurant, so I'm happy.

You'd think you'd be cancel-proof within your own dream restaurant, but maybe not.

No.

Well, let's see what happens to me, I guess.

Just remember.

Most of them would just be quite pleasantly surprised to hear that I know those people.

So I think I'm probably okay.

Very cultured.

Yeah, yeah.

He's a cultured guy.

I'm a cultured guy.

I don't get enough credit for it.

So,

Holder Girl is your new album out now.

What can people expect for excitement?

Because you've evolved with every album.

I think that's fair to say.

Yeah, I made it up.

Well, I just, I mean, the first record that came out in 2020 during lockdown, I just did whatever the hell I wanted, basically, like genre-wise, like production and songwriting-wise.

I just, you know, I didn't have a label at the time.

And then I took the record two labels to be like, hey, do you want this album?

So it was kind of like fully fleshed out.

So I wanted to continue that spirit with this record.

But obviously, like, I'm no longer the person I was back then.

For me as a songwriter, I just want to write bigger pop songs.

So it's still got that like heart of exciting production maximalist sounds but with pop hooks great and it's a lot of the references are like country music there's some garage um

stadium rock 2000s pop rock also like brit indie like block party and stuff so it's like it's a it's more it's definitely more rock leaning but it's still a mishmash Are you cutting in between the genres on the same song?

Because that's what I like about a lot of your stuff is that it kind of goes, you're in one genre one second, and then bam, there's a burst of another one, and then you're back in the original one again.

Or are you blending the genres into a seamless new thing?

In my opinion, I think it's a little bit more refined this time, where it is a little bit more of a seamless blend.

But I think, like, songs like Hold the Girl, where it's just so obvious, like, you know, the first chorus is very stadium rock, and then like the following is like Garage, and then the next is like Don't Tell Me by Madonna, like that kind of pop.

So, yeah, it's it's still like it's still got the essence of experimental production, which is what excites me about the whole process.

But what excites me on the songwriting side and the melody and the lyric writing side is writing like the most refined pop song.

Right, yeah, yeah.

I put one of your songs on a friend's, there's a friend's birthday that I can't make it at.

And they asked me to do some DJ and edit, but I can't make it.

So I've had to make the playlist remotely and send it to them.

I put XS on the playlist.

I'm quite excited to see how it goes down.

Oh my God, I'd be so curious.

That's how in demand you are as a DJ, man.

You're not even going to be there.

You're remotely djing a party i'm quite worried about not being there for the dj sex people can really openly slag it off right and go this guy he doesn't know how to do it put a playlist together whereas if i was there i think they'd probably be a bit more delicate about it but this could be but then if they're complaining you're not there so you don't know yeah but this will worry about

be sleepless nights yeah yeah yeah every single night until it happens and then i'm seeing the birthday girl the next day so i can ask her no you're not if she's in tears no you're not yeah i'm not no she's going to cancel oh she'll cancel on me.

Yeah, that's true.

That's how I know.

You're good on tour.

Yep.

Because your first album came out in 2020.

And you had an EP out before that, yeah?

I did, but that was released independently.

So my first, like, studio, like, kind of with budget album was 2020.

Yeah.

But it obviously like fell within peak COVID lockdown.

And so.

Back then our expectations were not as high.

We were just like, well, you know, like people are going to want new music.

So let's just like put it out.

And then it kind of, you know, have a life of its own.

And it kind of did way better than we expected, but couldn't tour for two years.

And the moment that the world opened up and I could do all these festivals and these tours, but I still couldn't really, I really haven't performed it more than like 30 times, I want to say, the record.

And now I've had to move on to the next one and just cut a bunch of the old ones out of the set list because it just won't fit.

That must have been so weird, like releasing something in lockdown and seeing it grow with the amount of people listening to it and stuff, but not knowing the fan base was growing in that sense and then doing the gig just like landing on your feet and they're all in front of you.

Oh, it like none of it felt real.

None of it felt real because it was all online and you know, even when my follower numbers were going up, when you're not actually meeting people in real life or performing to people and you've not actually seen the kind of number of people in the venues grow, you don't know.

Or like, you know, I never get you used to get recognized.

And then it was, you know, only after like two and a half years after the record came out that because the world started opening up that's when I started to get recognized and it was just it was so weird because I went from like seeing no one thinking that nothing was real to then things opening up and everything was a bit scary.

Yeah, because I think everyone's had a bit of a like shock coming out of lockdowns and having it readjust to

everything being busy and full-on, let alone if before lockdown, you were anonymous and could just walk around and now after it all, suddenly people are stopping you in the street.

That's a lot to deal with all at once.

Yeah, it was very anxiety inducing.

I actually like re-entered therapy for it because I got such serious imposter syndrome and I was just completely I had such bad anxiety about COVID anyway because I had to work during COVID.

So there were sometimes like we had to film Jimmy Fallon performance during COVID.

But it was this fear of like anyone on set getting COVID because it could shut get shut down and all this.

There's so much COVID-related anxiety that obviously I had to keep working.

So then the anxiety definitely still remained as we left COVID and but now no I f now I feel fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just get meet the roots.

Sorry.

I did eventually.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah.

Let's say that you were in lockdown and then you came out of lockdown and you had all these extra fans.

We did it the other way around.

Yeah, yeah.

We went in with loads of fans and just shed them throughout the lockdown.

And yeah, now no one recognises us.

No one recognizes us as human beings.

Is this true?

No.

Oh, my God.

We maintained our exact number.

Yeah, yeah.

It's grown.

Don't be modest dead.

Fucking massive.

Just trying to be a laugh.

My God.

Absolutely humongous.

Just trying to be a laugh.

Any collabs on the new album?

No collabs.

Well, there is a collab we want to talk about, though.

Which one?

And that is this hot sauce, this hell.

Yes.

This is a

bad one.

With Lu's.

Yes.

Lu's hot sauce.

I've had Lu's hot sauce before, and I've just tasted this.

What do you think?

Fantastic.

Thank you.

Really, really good.

My favourite is Louisiana hot sauce, so I really wanted it to be like that spice level, that heat level.

But then I was like, yeah, just put some Manasian in there as well and then just call it a day.

It tastes really good.

I actually don't know what's in it, but it tastes really good.

You've done hot ones?

No.

Would you do it?

Yes, I would.

Where would you?

I think it's a very humbling moment.

Oh, that would be like

zero, Charlie.

Your one would be the first one.

It's very quaffable, is what I thought.

It's definitely got a spice kick, but I was glugging it.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's meant for glugging.

Yeah.

eggs.

I'm going to take this bottle home when I have it on eggs.

It's really great.

Oh, my God.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Really good.

Have you tried

the hot ones thing?

Do you have enough hot ones?

You've tried the...

I've had Debomb.

I've tried Debom

a few times.

The first time I had it, I was so sparing with it that I thought, this isn't anything.

I don't know why people make a big deal of it.

And then the next time I had it, I kind of was a bit more liberal.

I had it after a gig I'd done for Benito, actually, Benito promotes a gig in Hackney.

I did that

gig, went to my girlfriend's house nearby, we ordered a pizza, I put loads of Debom on it, and absolutely

what had been a triumphant evening very quickly became quite regretful.

Oh, no.

Any hot sauce with a stupid name is going to be bad.

Yeah, yeah.

Is it even tasty, though, when it gets that hot?

What's the best thing?

No, it tastes very bad.

And I think the deliberate figures that it's meant to just be painful.

And I've managed to get my nephews so obsessed with Debom.

They've never had it before.

They're like both, you know, pretty young.

But they're so obsessed with Dabom that they threaten each other with it all the time now.

So, they'll always go, If you don't leave my toys alone, I'm gonna feed you Dabom in your sleep, and it's like that all the time.

That's such a peak cultural reference again.

Your entire family is so cultured,

so cool,

your family's so online, man.

So online, yeah.

Listen, listen, listen up.

If you don't put my Charlie XCX album back in your sleeve, I'm gonna put Dabom in your cereal.

That's what they say to each other.

We always start with still or sparkling water.

I'm going to say still,

which I know is like boring, but okay, because I'm always like talking, right?

I just don't want to be gassy.

So like before shows and stuff, I can't have anything gassy because it'll come up in the first song.

I don't have to do a really like slick off-the-mic like hair flick, but it's a burp.

That's what people are doing.

That's what it is.

Every time I do a hair flick, it's a burp.

Yeah.

So that's not something I enjoy doing.

It's really stressful because you know that feeling like when it's rising and you're

like when it's a bubble.

Yeah, when it's a bubble and you're like, oh no, and you're singing, you have to keep singing.

Yeah, God, but then you'll have like one break in a sentence and then you can just burp and then come back to the show and be a pop song.

I love that you've choreographed your burps though.

That's great.

Oh, yeah, but it's on the fly.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can't.

So that's why I've stopped drinking fizzy stuff before shows.

If I was a vocalist who used a lot of, you know, some vocalists now have a lot of effects on their voice and auto-tune live.

It's got all that sound.

If I had a burp going, I'd be very tempted just to auto-tune the bike just to see how it sounded.

You know, in the spirit of experimentation, I think next time you feel a burp coming on stage, you should just let it go.

Yes, and also I'll find some sort of auto-tune plug-in and like the most extreme distortion.

Yeah.

And maybe some sort of metal like scream distortion.

I'm on board.

And then just in the middle of the most beautiful like ballad.

Yeah.

Crack on it.

I think it'd go down well.

There's got to be a death metal band somewhere where the vocals are just all burps.

I always think that about death metal singing.

Yeah.

Isn't it the same feeling, the same sensation as burping?

It's like a gravelly burp, I guess.

Yeah, you've got to bring it up from somewhere down deep.

There we go.

You've definitely played me some stuff before that just sounds like someone's burping all the way through.

I love it.

Yeah, yeah.

You love that kind of stuff.

Or someone's doing that, you know, that thing with the

Mongolian throat singer.

Yeah, but they're just for the whole song.

Yeah.

So basically, they're doing it.

But with a bit more like grit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A big old burp.

Yeah, it's a big, long burp.

What's your favourite genre?

My favourite.

Favourite genre, definitely.

Burp metal.

Burp death.

Burp core.

It would be burp core, wouldn't it?

It'd be burp core.

Belch core, something like that.

Yeah,

pop it up soft bread.

Oh, my God.

Poplabs or bread, Rita, so we have it.

Poplin ups or bread.

I knew that was coming, but it's still scary.

Okay, um.

You did it well there, man.

Thank you.

That was really good.

You didn't even take a breath.

I'm going to say, okay, yeah, right.

Bread.

Yeah.

But

Joe and the juice.

Sandwich, bread.

You can't find it anywhere.

It's just on the Joe and the Juice sandwich.

The bread that they use in the sandwich.

Yes.

You want that without the sandwich?

Without the filling?

Maybe like a thin slice of proschuito.

Yeah, yeah.

But nothing else.

And maybe pesto.

Yeah, you can't do that.

That's just a sandwich.

So they don't sell the bread separately.

No.

No.

Have you ever found yourself buying a Joe and the Juice sandwich, scraping out the filling and just taking the bread home?

No, but I feel that 100% the best part about that sandwich is the bread.

100%.

Talk me through it.

I don't think I've ever had a sandwich for a while.

I've never

had juice.

And sometimes Joe.

Sometimes Joe, fair enough.

Oh, is that supposed to be coffee?

Yeah.

I assumed it was a guy called Joe.

No, it's not a guy called Joe.

Oh, I thought it was a guy called Joe, too.

They do coffee there.

So it's Joe and the juice.

They do coffee and juice.

But the UK hasn't really taken on the term Joe to mean.

No one's going around saying I have a cup of Joe.

It's also, isn't it a Swedish company?

Yes,

Scandinavian company.

They're everywhere in Copenhagen.

The worst one I've ever had was in Copenhagen.

Really?

Yeah.

I think that's where it's, isn't that right as far?

Yeah, well, but you know, I have, here's my order currently.

It's a green gains all the time.

I have a green gains.

Because you're gaining.

Yeah, you're gaining, right?

I'm putting on masks.

I'm going to be real mustly.

Yeah.

And.

Would be funny.

Yeah, it'd be pretty funny if I turned into one of those comics.

But, you know, all the mustly comedians tend to have some pretty some views that, I mean, some dark stuff.

As I say, the hyperpop community wouldn't enjoy them.

They'd be happy.

I didn't know that was a correlation.

That makes sense, though.

All mustly comics don't trust them.

They suddenly

get very tasty.

But Green Gains, it's very delicate balance with it.

It's like a veggie cutter's smoothie, and it has dates in it.

But...

The difference between a good green gains and a bad one is how much they blend the dates in there.

Some people, just you end up with whole dates just sitting at the bottom of the green gains.

Blocking the straw.

I want them all chopped up, nice all the way through, so it gets that sweetness, because there's a lot of avocado that goes into a green gains.

I don't just want it to taste like I'm drinking guacamole.

So

in Copenhagen, that is the worst green gains I've ever had.

Why are you throwing the horns?

Because I'm a Belch Core.

I'm a Belch Core fan.

The listener can't see.

For the listener, James is making a point by putting devil horns up.

Double horns.

One with each hand.

I love belch corn.

I thought we'd like drinking the green gains and then singing my favourite song.

But it's the worst German juice I've ever.

And you know what?

It varies everywhere you go.

I always order the green gains.

Sometimes it's my favourite drink ever.

Sometimes it's the worst thing I've had.

I'm always happy to roll the dice, but I was stunned that Copenhagen was the worst one.

How British are you in that sense?

That would you go back and say, sorry, this is not good enough?

No, no, I will drink it all because I know that I am.

We'll have a green gains.

I'm wrong.

Also, what I know is that if it's a bad green gains, I'm like, well, that's because all the sugary, sugary dates, all at the bottom.

So, to be fair, this is now better for me.

So, I'm just going to

drink it, leave the dates at the bottom.

You ain't leaving the dates at the bottom.

Who are you?

Leave the dates at the bottom.

You're not leaving the dates at the bottom.

I'm not eating

dates that.

No, I'm not just eating the dates at the bottom.

No, because there are whole dates at the bottom there.

I'm not just chewing on them.

That's mad.

I'd say I've used Joe and the juice for the toilet almost

almost 90% of the time.

Yes.

Love the toilets.

Never really investigated the Joe or the juice.

When you order a sandwich, just in terms of thickness of sandwich versus price,

it's shocking, the ratio.

It's a very, very, very slim sandwich.

Right, okay.

So it's the wrong ratio.

The wrong ratio.

But, I mean,

I mean, everything's very expensive at Joe and the Juice, but their bread.

is insane and like please try the sandwich just for the bread because I'll be honest with you I've not only have I never had a sandwich from Joe and the Juice I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a sandwich from Joe and the Juice.

I've never seen it.

I've seen it on the video screen because they've got a video screen behind the counter and to advertise all their products and they show the sandwiches being made.

And it's interesting you say about how thin they are because they show the process aerial shop.

So

you can't see the dimensions of it.

They're so smart.

So now I know why that is.

But I've never seen anyone have a sandwich before.

And it's interesting to hear that the bread is so good.

Give it a go.

Honestly.

It depends which branch you go to, though, because the one in Copenhagen, I saw someone and all the filling was just down at the bottom.

What the hell?

Just Copenhagen.

Yeah,

it makes me absolutely sick.

I'm furious about this.

They get the sandwiches along as well.

What sort of bread is it?

Is it white bread?

It's like a.

I don't know anything about Nordic rye bread, but if I knew something about Nordic rye bread, that is what it would be.

That.

Yeah.

So is it like quite a dark bread?

Dark, crispy.

Yeah.

Like not a crisp bread, but very crispy.

Yeah.

Got holes in them.

Dimply Joe and the juice bread.

Yeah, exactly.

And then it's got, I don't think they use butter, they use pesto.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's good.

Like, it's really, it's really, really good.

I actually had them on this morning.

Do you want pesto on the

bread as well,

I think I just want the choan the juice sandwich.

You can have that.

Can we do that?

Can we use bread?

Yeah, you can do that.

Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a

little nice bread product.

And you're having the ham on there as well.

I think my favourite one is the one that doesn't have any cheese on it.

It was just the Joe's Club sandwich,

which is chicken and avocado.

Great.

Slaps.

Can I have a bunch of stuff?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

It's just the first time someone's had a sandwich as a bread course.

Shame, isn't it?

Because that should be a nice loophole that everyone should take advantage of.

Oh, there's more loopholes coming.

Great.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

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Your starter, your dream starter.

Okay, so but before we start the starter, we have to get a pill

and crush it

and snort it yes

because I'm very very lactose intolerant okay and so we have to snort some lactose lactose pill okay right yeah yeah yeah yeah so we have to do

the best way it's the best way yeah

okay what are you talking about you just got to take some lactase it's the enzyme that brings some lactose yeah

we've got we've got friends who take lactose pills before they eat we've seen it before yeah i've not seen them crush it and snort it wow

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you're snorting them, yep, gets into your system quicker that way, right?

Yeah, because if you can't wait half an hour, you've got to wait half an hour before it kicks in.

Yeah, yeah.

When you were talking about pills and snorting, I was like, oh, gosh,

just another musician on talking about drugs.

We had Mike Skidder on, and he just talked about drugs the whole time.

He talked about it while we talked about that stuff out.

No, no, no.

Oh, quite.

No, we're allowed to.

We can talk about whatever we want on here.

This is good.

This is freedom.

It's true freedom.

It's a free country.

I thought, you know, when you said, first of all, we need a pill, we need to crush it up and snort it.

I was like, okay, this is going to be some drugs.

We'll have some drugs, chat.

I've noticed, I know, I felt James try and go into cool James mode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do drugs.

That doesn't mean a sandwich tastes nicer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Never done drugs in my life.

I don't know.

No.

But I know enough people who do do drugs that, you know, if I'm ever at a drugs party, I can use talk.

Yeah, I can get by with chat.

Yeah.

Make small talk about it and then make my excuses and run away.

What sort of small talk are you up?

Hey, were you

doing some drugs there?

Oh, you know, in some countries that's illegal.

Who cares?

I don't care.

Do you?

I don't care myself.

Yeah.

I mean, every single party, if you said that, you'd be kicked out for being a narc.

No, no, no way.

You're checking you for a wire if you came up to me and said, you know, in some countries that's illegal, but I'm cool with it.

And you know who I hate?

The Popo?

Say that to them as well.

You hate the Pope.

I hate the Pope.

Actually, anyone who does drugs hates the Pope.

The Catholic Church.

We talk about the film Spotlight.

Yeah.

It's big.

It's big stuff.

Yeah.

Great.

I didn't see a drug connection in that movie, but yes.

Yeah, yeah.

It's there.

Right, I was there.

It's the underbelly of the movie.

No, no, no.

Talk about the Pope enough.

So, you're having a lactose intellect.

You're having one single

lactose pill?

No, it's not a lactose intolerant pill.

That would be an awful thing.

No, you don't want to ingest a lactose.

You don't want to ingest lactose.

No.

It's lactase.

It's lactase.

Yeah, my one has has a little cow on it.

Really?

Yeah, I got it from Amazon.

Should have a cow with a line for it on it.

You shouldn't buy pills from Amazon.

With cows on.

Sounds like the sort of thing that would be on the news in the 90s.

Don't take this pill with a cow on it.

Yeah, also don't snort lactase, obviously.

My God, goes without saying.

It feels a bit dangerous to me to call it lactase.

It's too similar to lactose.

Yeah, I know.

It's just one letter.

Yeah.

Who will know?

But anyway, so it's got a cow on it, and it's like there's different strengths of it.

So some are like weaker than others, but I get the really strong shit from Amazon.

Is it a different animal for different strengths or does the cow get bigger?

I think the lactase is a mainly cow problem.

Like I don't I don't want to discriminate, but it is mainly a cow.

So that's why.

Calf, cow, bull would be good.

Calf for the weak one.

Yeah.

Cow for the regular bull for the super strong one.

Yeah.

But I don't know what a dairy you're getting out of a bull right now.

No, no, that's what I'm going to say.

Oh, we know.

It's not factually accurate.

We're not all going to say it, but everyone knows what the standard joke is.

I think that's dairy.

I don't know, Benito, Google, how much calcium is in cups?

He's refusing.

He said no.

I just need to take my pill before I

have this big old

bowl cum.

Disgusting head.

Yes.

Stay dirty.

Thank you.

All right, sorry, I was going to then talk about a very upmarket establishment and precisely where we took that.

I don't know.

That was

rude.

Yeah, no.

So you've snorted it.

I've snorted it.

But now you're ready for your starter.

I'm ready for all of you.

Which guest has milk in it?

Cheese.

Yeah.

it's the cheese souffle from le Gavroche

oh lovely so up market so up market become so posh so quick listen I don't like paying a lot for my food but when someone else is paying yes love it yeah absolutely love it I went to Gavroche with my ex-boyfriend who's like quite rich

and so I think as a graduation present or something his family took him to Gavroche which is like it's like a three michelin star isn't it is it oh it's insane it's a big it's a big boy place oh it's like it's like, I mean.

But they have this cheese souffle.

They're famous for this cheese souffle.

Yeah.

But because I haven't been in like eight years, I don't know if it still exists, but I'm pretty sure it still exists.

But it's just this amazing, fluffy, just, just the most refined cheese souffle you've ever tasted.

Because souffle is just a bit like, just a bit air inner.

That's often my issue with souffle.

You wait 10 minutes and it's just air.

Just hot air.

Good one, though.

Dessert souffle's changed my life.

Changed your your life.

Yeah, yeah.

The first time I had a raspberry dessert souffle from Greenaways in Edinburgh,

I was like, I didn't know this could be that good.

And I wouldn't have ordered it.

I had it because I was doing a cooking competition.

He teaches how to make these raspberry souffles.

So I had to eat it for that.

Absolutely.

I was like, oh, now, every time I see it on the dessert menu, any sort of dessert souffle, I'm getting it because incredible.

I don't like dessert souffles really because I can taste the egg.

It's very eggy.

Eggy.

And

I don't want eggy taste in my...

Whereas savoury souffle.

Makes sense.

Don't mind a bit of egg and cheese.

Lovely.

Raspberry and egg.

No, thank you.

Yeah, I like it.

You like raspberry and egg?

Well, I did at the time.

Yeah.

Raspberry souffle.

And we sang raspberry souffle to the tune of raspberry puree all the time.

Is it not white?

White egg?

It's white egg.

It's white egg.

What is it called?

Egg white.

Egg white.

It's so close.

It's not white egg.

It's a lactose-lactose problem.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I was

getting mixed up.

White egg.

It is white egg.

It's white egg.

Yeah.

Whipped up.

Whipped up white eggs and raspberry.

Yeah.

So your ex-boyfriend's family took you to this place.

Yeah.

Do you want to like

shout out to him and say, thanks for the free food sucker.

Call them a poor, poor sucker.

Thanks for giving me that great food.

You sucker.

You sucker.

We're still friends, so I don't want to live.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

Sorry.

But that was a very memorable meal.

Sorry to say that about your friend.

Sounds good.

But was there anything in particular?

Because if beforehand you were thinking, oh, souffles are just airy and boring.

What was it that made this one so good?

It's like, as with any kind of establishment that just does something really well, it's really hard to say why it's so good, but it's like the best version of that thing that you've ever eaten in your life, and you know that it's never going to get any better.

That's what it felt like.

Does that make you feel sad as well, though?

Because if you know that it's the best one, you're just going to have to go back to Lagavrosh to have that experience again.

Yeah, I haven't been back since.

So yeah, maybe it makes me a bit nostalgic but again i can't i mean i can with the help of some lactase but i can't i can't really anymore did you go to the toilets to snort the lactase or did you still do it at the table oh i didn't need i wasn't dependent on lactase at the time oh really this is a this is a lactase addict at the time i was just this is what made it happen i just had ibs

yeah yeah

i tell you what i've had a burp just there for the whole thing do a hair fix that we're talking about no i just i just burped oh

just did it don't want to mix it until i know it's out the system yeah fair enough great song man great song.

Yeah, yeah.

Go back and auto-tune that bit, but anyway.

I wish you had just crushed up the lactose and did it in front of the the family.

That would have been fun.

That would have been amazing.

Pre-those times.

I think that's what, I mean, I'm sure the the garage would have just been totally fine with that as well.

They would have been fine.

I mean, the the let's just say those mission star restaurants probably have people snorting a lot of stuff.

On the table.

Yeah, a lot of big lawyers going there, ordering the best food, snorting God knows what

off every available surface.

You coming over going, hey, it's pretty cool, man.

Hey, hey, you're a lawyer, huh?

That's cool.

Doing a bit of nose candy?

The old Bolivian marching powder.

Yeah, yeah.

Well,

let it snow.

That's what I say.

Hey, do you know that's still illegal, though?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Illegal sometimes.

Oh,

you're a lawyer.

You should know that, really, man.

You know the law better than me.

Anyway, I'm going to have a souffle.

Did you tell everyone at the table it was good?

Did you turn to the parents and the boyfriend and go, this is great?

This is amazing.

It was, I mean, it was in my early 20s, and I genuinely didn't have any money.

So this was, it was a taste of not only cheese, but wealth.

Not only cheese.

Those are the flavour notes.

Cheese and wow.

Cheese and wealth.

Yeah.

That'd be a good idea.

I think that's why it tasted good.

Yeah.

It tasted of wealthy people.

Tasted wealth for the first time.

Yes.

Edge doesn't know because you've had it your whole life, wealth.

So you don't know what the difference is.

What the notes are.

You just...

tasted it.

I don't know what the difference is between the different cheese souffles.

I only know the wealth, the taste of wealth.

You'll just go to Goodwill and be like, oh, this is Average.

Yeah, totally.

I'd flip the table.

Normal.

What's the fuss about?

Just to let our listeners know, I'm not an oligarch.

No, no, it's not.

It's not really.

I'm hiding it for comedy.

Is that what oligarchs say when they're not impressed with their food?

It tastes normal.

It tastes normal to me.

Why can't I find anything special in my life anymore?

I can only tell the difference between different green games.

That's all I can do.

That's all you need.

Yeah, yeah.

Your dream main course.

Are we getting out the lactase again?

No, lactase has taken a break.

That's it.

Yeah.

Would you have to?

Those is it's not a pillar course, is it?

If you take it.

I think it is a pillar course.

Is it?

But I don't think there's official guidance on it.

No, because because you buy it from Amazon.

You have to check the little questions at the bottom of the Amazon page.

Yeah, it's not got a name, just a picture of a cow.

You buy it off Amazon, I mean, yeah, I know.

The risks are there.

Yeah, no, I feel like it's a because the way

I'm just making shit up, but like the way enzymes work,

which is completely factually accurate, is that there's the enzyme, and then you need to put the food on top of it,

and the enzyme gobbles up the lactase,

gobbles up the lactase.

I'm making enzyme fingers right now.

And then

you then need to do like an enzyme sandwich.

It's like a, yeah, I feel like it's an enzyme smush.

Yeah.

A smash burger.

Yeah.

And then it gets carried into your digestive tract.

Yeah.

So that lactase is now gone.

Right.

Do you know what I mean?

So then you need another one.

You need another like

bottom, like, you need another bottom bun for the top.

Yeah.

Lactase bun.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Complete sense.

Makes more sense than any science I know.

Yeah.

It's not like I know anything.

We have Brian Cox on this podcast once, and I basically understood.

Well, he doesn't know anything, though.

No, that's true.

No, no, no.

He's a liar.

He makes it all up.

I think he used the word smush at some point as well.

He said smush a lot.

Space smush.

Everything smushes together.

He couldn't tell us, you know, what was evil in space and what wasn't.

So I think he is a liar.

Oh, that's all we want to know.

Are enzymes evil?

No.

No.

Well, there you go.

See?

Did you get a straight answer?

There we go.

Brian Cox just, yeah, I'm denard.

I'd rather get an unscientific straight answer.

Yeah.

No.

Right?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That's where we're living, isn't it?

You'll sell more records if you say stuff like that.

You'll sell more records if you say stuff like that.

Really?

But you hate science.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, you've got a lot of people backing you up on that.

Yeah.

If you talk about enzymes, do you get further up the charts, do you think?

You're a pop star.

I think you basically need to say that

you don't believe in experts.

Yeah.

Because at the moment, with all this sensible stuff you're saying, you're really cutting off quite a large part of society.

That's so true.

And you need non-believers.

It's all about broadening the audience, right?

Yeah, flattering.

Regardless of the quality of the budget.

Flatter of the audience.

So, yeah, you need to start denying science and then you'll get some really

cool new listeners.

With, I think, the unresearched enzyme chat will get you audiences just across the board.

Okay, great.

People who like science, so they're like, oh, she heard of enzymes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where people who hate science go, well, that's clearly bullshit.

So we like her.

So everyone will come and buy you.

So I think that alone, that whole breakdown you did, is going to that's like five times as many album sales.

Wow, that's amazing.

You know, we're not asking for a percentage, but...

No.

It's implied.

We'll chat about it.

The Stream Main course, no lactase happening.

No lactase.

Okay, so like I said before, I don't like to pay a lot of money for food

because I'm Asian.

I'm just saying shit again.

But in my mind, if you're Asian, like, because in Asia, food is cheap,

I don't like paying a lot for what's actually not, doesn't cost that much.

You know what I mean?

Like, if I'm dining, I get it.

But I don't like going to restaurants where it's just like, oh, just, you know, it shouldn't be this expensive.

Anyway, there's this place just outside of LA in Pasadena called Mr.

Dragon's Noodle House.

And it's literally the best...

Chinese food I've ever had in my whole life.

And it was of such a random stop because we were meant to go to a hot pot place nearby, but it was closed.

So then we went to this Mr.

Dragon's Dragon's Noodle House, which is just the best name ever.

Yeah.

Mr.

Dragon's Noodle House.

I mean, it sounds like the name of a restaurant in a film.

Yes.

It sounds like someone's made that up.

Oh, yeah.

Mr.

Dragon's Noodle House.

Someone has made it up.

Oh, it has.

Mr.

Dragon did.

Mr.

Dragon.

Yeah.

The Dragon Dynasty did.

What are you talking about?

Just that made up.

Yeah.

So sorry.

It was completely empty, this restaurant.

Yeah.

And it was just the most, they have these beef rolls where it's like, I think it's like layers of pancake, the very, very thin pancakes and like beat, like very, very thin beef and egg, I think.

And then it's rolled up and it's very, like, it's like crisp and the bottom and the top.

Oh, nice.

And it's got loads of herbs in it.

Oh, my God.

I've had a couple of like beef rolls before, but this was like the best.

And they also do, I think, do they do hample noodles?

But it was like, there's like a noodle soup, huge.

All the portions because America is.

Fucking huge.

Ridiculous.

And they have, I ordered an iced tea and they brought an ice cream tea that I kid you not was like three, four pints per portion.

Yeah.

What is it called when you like go to Germany and go to like a beer?

Like a Stein?

Is that a Stein?

Stein, yeah.

What is it?

You know, when you, there's like a, it looks like a mug, but big.

Like a boot.

Yeah, like that.

The Stein is correct.

Yeah, yeah.

I felt

a beer connoisseur.

Yeah, yeah.

Big cup.

Big cup.

I'm not a beer connoisseur either, but I've learned the terms so I can blend in with them when I turn up.

When I turn up at beer festivals, what's that, a Stein?

You know that's legal in some countries.

yeah a kid you know it has like a cup of sugar in it oh wow which is again very american they've just tied a lot of

sugar

these beef rolls sound great it was just emotional and they do these dumplings you know you get a lot of like dim sum that is steamed or pan-fried but this is kind of like both oh wow and it's got a very crispy bottom but it's kind of like more slightly more doughy at the top it's just the best and it's you crack it open it's got so much juice in it.

Oh, I love it.

Just anything there.

So again, I have kind of cheated a bit.

So you want all everything that you had?

Everything that I had that day.

At Mr.

Dragon's Noodle Shop or whatever?

Yeah, Noodle House.

Yes.

It's his house.

It's his house.

It's his house, not his shop.

Is it his house or is it his noodles' house?

Does he live somewhere else and his noodles live in the house?

Or is it the dragon's noodles?

Or is it the dragon's noodles?

Well, it's Mr.

Dragon, right?

Mr.

Dragon.

100% Mr.

Dragon.

What do you you think his first name is?

I don't know.

I thought Donnie straight away.

Donnie Dragon.

Donnie Dragon.

Donnie Dragon.

Mr.

Donny Dragon.

Mr.

Donny Dragon.

I love the name Don, Donnie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm trying to make my manager adopt the name Don.

That's a real power play to try and get your manager to change his name.

Yeah.

His name is Will.

Yep, that's not at all.

But his middle name is Donald.

And I've been telling him that it's way more showbiz if it's Don Frost.

Right.

Doesn't that sound like a manager?

Doesn't that sound like a manager's name?

Don Frost, yeah.

It doesn't sound like a good manager's name.

No, it sounds like scheme.

It sounds like in 25 years there's going to be a court case with Don Frost.

And no one will be surprised.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like, well, it's Don Frost.

I mean, when you've got a name like Don Frost is what the headlines will

say.

Don Frost has been creeping a lot off the top, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

Don Frost isn't to be trusted.

No, the accountant's found something bad in Don Frost.

Yeah, yeah.

Will Frost?

Great.

Very trustworthy.

Yeah, William Frost.

Lovely, lovely person.

Billy Frost.

Awesome.

Billy Frost.

Yeah.

What a nice guy.

But I'm trying to get him to migrate over to Don Frost

by firstly doing in his

email

signature saying William and then in inverted commas the Don.

The Don.

The Don.

The Don.

Frost.

Yeah, yeah.

William the Don Frost sounds like a wrestler.

Yeah.

People are going to start thinking you're managed by a wrestler.

Yeah, but that's showbiz.

That's not showbiz.

That's showbiz, baby.

I mean, unless the comedy world is completely removed from the rest of showbiz, which I think it is.

Yeah,

often is.

Whenever we talk to anyone, it's like, oh,

we're probably pretty easy in the comedy world.

Yeah.

William de Don Frost.

He's literally next door.

He's probably listening to this.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we're going to have, I guess we'll get sued by him after this.

The Don?

Yeah, I'd imagine so.

The Don taking us to court?

Yeah, the Don's very legitimate, I think.

Again, show biz.

Yeah, we're getting taken to court by the Don.

Yeah.

Get She-Hulk to defend us.

Yeah.

Sometimes I can tell when James has been watching something or listening to something because he'll try and get it into conversation

immediately.

That's my favourite lawyer.

She's at the front of his brain.

That's the best lawyer in town.

Is it good?

It's brilliant.

Is it?

I love it.

I need to watch it.

She would defend us in court.

I know she was a lawyer.

She-Hulk?

Yeah.

Is the original Hulk a lawyer?

No.

Huh?

The original Hulk.

Yeah.

Bruce Banner is a doctor.

But in the comic books, She-Hulk is a lawyer.

So she's as

good.

She was a lawyer all the time, and then she became a Hulk, and she carried on being a lawyer.

What kind of lawyer is she?

She is in the superhuman law division.

Yes.

So it's all those kinds of things.

She talks down the camera a lot.

I don't know if I've told you this.

I've been calling it Flea Hulk.

That's funny.

That is

good.

Have people done that?

Because I'm not on social media anymore.

I don't know.

Have people done that, Joe?

No, as far as I'm aware, you would have seen that right now.

Rita's going to do that after.

If you're not careful.

If you're not careful.

Someone's got an album to promote.

I'm calling you Flea Hulk.

That's getting too big.

I can connect anything to my album promo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I will connect that to you.

Yeah, Flea Hulk says by my album.

Yeah, exactly.

So you want the beef rolls, the dumplings,

the noodle soup.

Noodle soup.

And there was a green bean side dish.

Everything was perfect.

Everything was perfect, like the best version of where I've had it.

And it was so cheap.

And there was so much to take home.

Yeah, I think that's fine

as a full pot.

I mean, it sounds absolutely delicious.

Yeah.

Talk to to me about Hot Pot, though.

Yep.

Because I'm slightly obsessed with Hot Pot.

Love Hot Pot.

We've recorded some other episodes today, and in the previous one, Hot Pot came up with a lot of people.

I really tried to reach out to our guest about Hot Pot, and she was like, no, I don't like Hot Pot.

Yeah, so Ed's like, really...

So I'm desperate to talk to you.

He really wants to bond with someone over Hot Pot.

I love Hot Pot.

It's so good.

Hot Pot.

Okay.

This is what I feel that Asians have that the Westerns don't have.

Do you say Westerns?

I don't think that's the problem.

Yeah, I call myself a Westerner.

Yeah,

a westerner west western let's go with westerners a western the westerns yeah yeah yeah i'm just making shit up today

the westies the westies

westos you guys don't have like an occasion around making the food together

whereas in japan like it's normal to like make yoza together and then you pan-fry the gyoza together like in a you know like a grill at the table and hot pot is one of those things where it's an occasion and you come together and you make the meal together and that's like it gives you something to do and it gives you something to talk about and discuss just it's just great Yeah.

Same with like any like Korean barbecue place, like actually having the grill in the middle of the table

and you can like chat as you do it.

It's fantastic.

Oh, yeah.

What's your favorite thing to put in hot pot?

I mean,

I'm a meaty boy.

Yep.

But actually, when we went to Heidi Lau a couple of months ago, Nestor Square, and the shrimp, like the shrimp balls, like this is a shrimp paste.

like the little balls of that put that in there and just watch that cook away and yeah absolutely delicious the unidentified shrimp balls yeah yeah yeah yeah so good into the really spicy tallow broth that when someone drips on the thing and it dries you see how much fat's in it because it's just pure fat on top pure fat yeah asians aren't scared of fat at all and why would you be yeah i've tried i've tried many a time to scare an asian person with some fat

never works never scared

yeah i remember yeah yeah

chased after mr dragon with a pot of peanut butter

hey mr dragon good to meet you how fat

He didn't bat an eyelid that guy.

He was fine.

What a seat or what?

What?

Chilled some noodles?

Yeah.

Sit down, you're scaring me with that.

They kind of had a joe of fat with you.

You've got to stop doing that, man.

Yeah, yeah, I should stop.

But, like, you know,

one day

I'll get someone.

Yeah.

I'll get someone.

Just need to tweak the fat.

Yeah, yeah.

How I'm presenting it.

There's something going on, and I'll find the right way.

They're definitely not scared of sesame oil.

No, no.

Tell me about it.

tell me about it

one time yeah yeah

was through a bottle at phil wang didn't even duck yeah take this phil wang just caught it bam drank it thanks for the sesame oil

oh

phil that was quite expensive

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So, is your dream side dish part of this, or have you got a different dream side dish?

The side dish was the green beans.

How are the green beans prepared?

The green beans are definitely wok-fried, which I believe is the most superior way of cooking vegetables.

But it has to be a proper wok with like a jet engine underneath.

Right, normal, like you can't do wok meals on an electric stove or an induction, it's just not hot enough.

Fair enough, you need to put an actual like

jet engine bowing flame underneath otherwise it's it's it's not wok you don't get the wok hay which is the smokiness you get from the wok oh oh like the sort of hazy like proper yeah actual heat yeah yeah so that that remains on the food and it's called wok hay and that's what gives it that like smoke natural smoky flavor This isn't more made-up science, is it?

Am I calling for it again, like the enzymes?

No, I'm joking.

She's trying to confuse the Westerns.

She's got us.

Yeah.

I can say anything to you guys.

i've never heard about that before that's great yeah and then it i think it had like some minced meat around it yeah but basically like what cooking should be like everything is under a minute you know it's just like super quick and it makes sure that like it's very crisp like it's all very well cooked but the inside is still crispy you know like perfect my worst nightmare is overcooked vegetable like worst nightmare oh yeah i think we've all i really think it's like if you're born prior to 1990 I feel like your entire childhood is just over-boiled vegetables.

And you know the pain of over-boiled vegetables.

Do you know what I mean?

And then I think nowadays people know how to cook it a bit better and you shouldn't boil broccoli for like 10 minutes.

Do you know what I mean?

But like before, I think we all grew up with over-boiled vegetables.

School dinners.

Oof.

Just wet.

Yeah.

Wet,

over-boiled veg.

Still to this day, the most

amped up I've ever seen my mother is when she got a steamer.

Oh, hell yeah.

And we started having steamed.

And

we were too young to appreciate that it was a big deal.

And she would really hype it up to us every meal.

I steamed these.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's nutritionally superior.

You know what the question is.

Unless you're steaming a sticky toffee pudding right now.

We don't care about that steamer.

I don't care that you steamed the broccoli.

But now do you appreciate?

Yeah, yeah, I get why she was excited about it now.

And I apologise to her.

I like to formally apologise on the podcast to my mother for not being excited.

Have you got a steamer?

No, no,'cause I hated having to wash that up.

It's a nightmare.

As a kid, yeah.

We were doing the what you know we're taking it in turns to washing up drying up and every time she used that steamer I was like I've got like three stories of plastic here that I

need to wash up for you.

When you saw her using it on your wash up night.

Is it annoying on dry up night as well?

Yeah, yeah, you still got to do that.

Yeah, I still didn't didn't enjoy drying it.

Yeah.

I was like, that's so much more um work than if you just boiled it in a in a little saucepan.

Now I've got to do all these layers of stuff disgusting hated it that's the thing about gadgets isn't it though convenient until you have to wash it up and then yeah i have a mini chopper which is my favorite gadget talk me through it mini chopper mini chopper is like 10 pounds my my one's from t fal and it's got a white lid and a green pulley it's got a string yeah and it's got two blades inside so it's not electrical like you don't have to plug it in yeah it's like tiny and then you just like pull loads like does that make sense like a motorboat yeah yeah yeah yeah and and then and then it chops up everything really fine and does it do it does it look sort of uniform the way it chops it absolutely not

oh no it's a disaster oh it's a disaster but does it save time yeah yeah yeah but then you end up making something with like loads of different sized cubes in it and stuff yeah yeah yeah everything's it puts them in there well you just gotta do it so much that it's pulverized

you know and then it's consistent finally yeah but then it's just a pace right it's just a pace yeah it sounds awful reader to be honest yeah your favourite power.

It's my favourite.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

It's my favourite.

Also, you know, like if you have to wash the lid, which contains the string in it,

think about it.

Think about the wet string.

Yeah, yeah, forget it.

I'm never getting that.

No.

The thought of washing it up alone would make me never want to buy that.

Doesn't go in the dishwasher?

No, hell no.

No, no.

You can't put string in the dishwasher.

What am I thinking?

No.

The amount of times I've tried to wash a load of string.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nightmare.

Try and wash my string vest in the dishwasher.

In the dishwasher.

Yeah.

It's all tangled.

Yeah, all tangled up.

Got to buy a new string vest.

Yeah.

I'd like this to carry on, please.

I've just learnt how to load a dishwasher, though.

Okay.

What are you talking about?

No, like properly.

I bet no one knows how to actually load awareness.

We don't usually ask guests their age.

But earlier you said people born before 1990.

And I was like, as if?

Yeah.

I didn't believe that.

I'm born in 1990.

You're born dead on.

Dead on 1990.

But you only just learned how to load a dishwasher.

Properly.

Properly.

So you've been doing

your whole life.

Yes.

Okay.

So do you think we're not going to know this?

You're not going to know this.

I just know.

The direction of the plates.

Yeah.

Which, like, do you do it against the angle?

Do you know what I'm talking about?

You know, the little spikes at the bottom.

You're meant to do it with the angle of the spikes.

Just visualize it.

So you've got to

flip them round.

You've got to flip them round.

So they're really tilted.

Now, I think we're talking about different dishwashers here because I've got like a little half-size one.

Yeah.

And there's no angle on one line.

These are just straight.

They sit quite straight up.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

For the plate.

And my plates are quite thick, not showing off.

So they've got a rim.

So they've got big old rims.

So I've got to leave a space in between each one.

Oh, exactly.

And that's actually perfect for that one.

But the others are slanted, and I've been doing it.

the wrong way I think.

For the little plates and bowls.

Because it's not you're not standing it up in a cupboard.

That's not the way.

It should be be really slanted because that is how

the water shoots up and properly cleans it.

What are you putting on the top shelf of the dishwasher?

What's going on?

Glass and bowls.

Glass and bowls.

Yeah, glass and little bowls.

I never know what to put up there.

Yeah, put in plates east-facing, bowls south-facing, and then I just

dump the cutlery in when it's mid-cycle.

That's what the manufacturers would want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got to do it as you go.

Top shelf, mainly just,

you know, lemon juices.

Yeah.

Yeah, just you get through a lot of them.

Or more lemon juices on the top there.

Things that you're not really meant to put in the dishwasher, you should put on top.

Yeah, normally.

Like knives, oof, microplanes, ooh, microplanes.

Yeah, yeah.

There's no point putting a microplane in the dishwasher, is there?

It's not, it's not doing the job.

It's not, especially if you've taken a microplane to a bit of ginger, you're not getting those hairs out.

No, it's true.

It comes out looking hairier.

Yeah, it's true.

If anything,

you pull it out and it's a string vest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's perfectly woven.

Your dream drink.

This is a Japanese drink and it's called a Sudachi Sawa.

And Sudachi is a type of citrus brew that is, again, I'm making shit up, native to Japan.

Wow.

I don't think that's true.

No.

So that's, this is the.

Well, you can tell us that and we'll believe it.

Yeah, okay, fine, it's native to Japanese.

But then you tee them up with.

The thing is, is that before you say your lies, you tee it up with, I'm making this up.

Yeah.

Which makes it more believable.

Which makes it more believable.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

I have a problem for that one.

Yeah, if you if you like flag it up with this is bullshit.

Yeah.

And then you tell people.

And then people think it's bullshit.

Then people will not believe it, I guess.

It's like I think we find in comedy sometimes is for a long time I'd start my jokes by saying this is really funny.

Yeah yeah.

People don't believe it.

Yeah, right.

And it makes it very difficult.

You've got to sneak up on them with it.

People say here's the funny bit.

Yeah.

That's true.

Okay.

So tsudachi is a Japanese citrus that is native totally to Japan.

It doesn't exist anywhere else.

I believe it.

I believe it.

What's it like?

It's a much more bitter version of a lime.

Okay.

It's kind of close to Yuzi, but it's more limey.

And then you mix vodka and then it's just sparkling water.

But that is my favorite.

There's a lot of different variations of sours.

And there's also one of my other favorites, which is the Japanese plum sour.

Have you ever tried a Japanese plum?

Ume,

yeah.

Very, very, very sour.

But you like squash it at the bottom.

And then you just pour vodka and then pour

fizzy water.

And I think that that, you know, just the vodka and fizzy water is really taboo.

You have to add another like actual fruit in it.

And I think that's, that's when it tastes good.

See, when I think of sours,

I think of whiskey sours or like whatever, and they've always got egg in them to froth them up.

Yep.

And I like that.

But there's, yeah,

again,

I guess we're coming back to,

is that too eggy for you?

You know, is it because like you guys don't like eggs?

No, because you like egg in your desserts.

Raw egg with cocktails.

It doesn't taste as eggy as cooked egg white for me.

White egg.

white egg, sorry, white egg.

White egg.

Yeah, yeah.

If you're eating white egg cooks, it tastes eggy.

The raw stuff whipped up.

No, it's not eggy.

So you're both okay with that?

Yes, totally fine.

Is there egg white in these drinks you're talking about now?

No, it's very refreshing.

So it's just a refreshing sour.

So refreshing.

Yeah.

I really don't drink that much.

In fact, I had two drinks yesterday.

Yeah.

And I have a hungover this morning.

Do you?

It's very sad.

I used to drink like a bottle at pre-drinks at university and then go out and then drink another bottle of of wine.

And now I just

have a glass.

What's gone wrong?

I think I actually don't possess the enzyme to break down alcohol.

Is it time to get on Amazon?

Maybe there is something for that.

Oh, great.

There we go.

If there isn't, then I'm making one.

Yeah, yeah.

For sure.

So dangerous.

They do have pills that are supposed to prevent hangovers.

Does it work though?

No, I'm almost certain they don't work.

I've always started drinking them

by dynamic wines because I've heard.

Yeah, but that's bullshit.

Is it?

All my pop girlfriends tell me that it's

the pop girlfriends?

No, like the pop girls, who are my friends, they all say

body dynamic wine, it's amazing, it doesn't give you a hangover.

Yeah, it's because I think people think that because it's often lower alcohol.

Oh, is that?

Oh, okay.

So it's like compared to like you might get a bottle of red wine that's like 13.5% or something.

And then a lot of natural and biodynamic wines are like 10%, 9% some of them.

And you feel like, like I'm having a bottle of wine but you're you're not you're having like half a bottle of wine oh and that's why it doesn't give you as much of a hangover yeah I think so but also I've managed to get some pretty horrible hangovers on biodynamic wine oh he's up for a challenge yeah yeah yeah yeah let's do it let's take this

boy yeah yeah other than they'll disprove it let's do the experiment yeah let's do it that's that's what i want i want i want to know if that's true or not honestly because i mean i can't i can't drink normal wine anymore that's what that's devastating i know and i but the thing is i couldn't even tell the difference between like any of the different you know when people are like, this is the best wine you've ever had?

Mm-hmm.

You know, or they'll, I don't know, it's like a celebration moment and they're bringing out this incredibly old wine or whatever.

Yeah.

Can't taste it.

Yeah.

Can you taste different?

Sorry.

And coffee as well for me, I can't.

I'm just like Starbucks or artisan coffee.

I can't taste it.

So that's interesting that you can taste wealth in food, but not drinks.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely not.

No wealth there.

No.

Interesting.

So I guess that's a challenge that one day you might have a drink and you can taste the wealth.

Yeah.

You know what I do?

I take a sip of expensive wine and I go, this is normal to me.

Yeah.

You just spit it.

I spit it.

Yeah, across the table.

Normal.

Yeah.

Who are your best friends in who are also musicians?

I don't have a lot of like best friends in the industry, but like, I mean, I speak to Charlie XEX a lot.

I referenced her earlier.

Yeah, yeah.

Queen of Hyper Pop.

Yeah.

Queen of Everything.

But she can drink.

I'll tell you what, that playlist I made.

What has it got in it?

I run you into Charlie XCX.

Which song?

Claws.

love it bam bam you need the ultimate test of vrim vrim by charlie xcx that's charlie and sophie yeah but is that an ep what album's that i think it's an ep but i might be wrong i might be wrong there and that's it now all my credentials that i've built up on this episode are gone i think it was an ep yeah i feel like a pretty old man right now i should know i'm gonna again i'm gonna hit but you like belchor i like belche cores don't forget i like lo's old band lo used to be in a band oh lou from the hot sauce company was in a band he's in a band called pine he's not in pine anymore but they they are an excellent metal band.

Oh, cool.

Yeah.

It was an AP, yes.

It was Sninny P.

Dream dessert.

Okay, who, again,

snorting time.

Okay, snort away.

Snort away.

Different smells.

Different smells.

Sorry, that wasn't the right sound.

No, that feels again?

Yeah, that's not...

That's what I do

when I go to the drug parties.

Let me have some of that.

The drug party.

Guys, when people, you know, when people snort cocaine, they don't do it like pigs.

I'm going to do a bump of that cocaine.

That's how I snort the cocaine.

But I waddle away.

You trying to like, you trying to fit in people all crowded around.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Doing lines.

Oh, do you want to snort a line, James?

Yeah, cool.

Yeah, I've done loads tonight, but yeah, here we go.

What the fuck are you doing?

Thanks, guys.

Hey, you know, for years, I didn't do cocaine for five years and then started doing dyed cocaine.

It tastes just like normal cocaine.

So the lactose is back out.

Lactose is back out because, honestly, desserts without lactose is hell.

Sure.

Are we off to creamy town?

What's going on?

Oh, creamy town.

Yeah.

This is, again, another...

unrelatable Japanese food that I'm going to introduce.

Okay.

I love Japanese convenience stores.

I don't know if you've been to a convenience store in Japan.

Not in Japan.

They just have...

i mean i think across asia that it's just a different

ben finds certain things quite funny and he'd find it funny that when you said i don't need to be into a japanese convenience store i was about to say yes because i bet i've been to one in london and when you said in japan i went not in japan

which which made me look like it was a stupid thing i was about to

okay oh yeah and he likes those moments a lot he's he's done so many of these episodes yeah that the things he finds funny is stuff that even if someone had listened to every single

episode of off menu they wouldn't get the tiny things that Ben notices.

He's a weird guy as well.

So his favorite thing is me going and going, yep.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

If I look stupid, he enjoys it.

Oh, okay, fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The 7-Elevens in Japan are insane.

What's the other...

Lawson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they have like the natural version.

So there's like Natural Lawson, which is like the more organic one.

Right.

It's very direct.

Lawson or Natural Lawson.

They have a family mark.

But just the food is just insane.

Anyway, so in Natural Lawson, I was staying at this hotel in Akasaka, which is where I wrote one of my songs on my old album called Akasaka Sad.

There was this Natural Lawson across the road, and they have this, do you know what a mochi is?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Imagine like the mochi skin, but very, very thin.

Inside that is a layer of cream.

And inside that is a very, very thin, but soft layer of sponge.

And then inside that is more cream.

And then in the middle of that is a strawberry.

Oh, wow.

What?

What?

It's fucked.

Wow.

How big is this thing?

Palm of your hand size.

So like a tennis ball.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's got the texture of a cake, but it's got the pull of the mochi.

I wouldn't know how to go about eating that in a dignified way.

You know, because it has lots of powder and then that's the thing.

Yeah.

So there's the powder and then the cream.

Then the cream.

And you've got to get to the strawberry.

And then they've got the sponge.

Yeah.

And then you've got the cream and then the strawberry in the middle.

I'm going to eat that alone in the toilet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, it's amazing.

I'll eat that alone in the toilet.

Crying.

I'll eat that with you in the toilet, Ed, if you have me.

Yeah.

I never got over.

I never had one, but I could, because I couldn't bring myself to get over the weirdness of it was the like a sando with cream and strawberry.

Oh, yeah.

Fruit sando.

And I would love it, but it just feels so strange.

I'd do it straight away.

I didn't even know it existed until you just said it.

But yeah, if I saw one of them,

I want to go to Japan so much.

I've never been.

Oh, man.

The food is just amazing.

Yeah.

It's so cheap.

I'd pack one suitcase, but full of fat.

Yeah.

And then I'd go to Japan and then I'd be like, anything to declare?

Yeah.

Fat party.

How do you like this?

And then it'll be, we'll see if I scare them finally.

They wouldn't be scared.

Oh, we'll see.

We'll see how.

Japan's not great from jail.

Oh, yeah.

Pretty bad in jail.

Still, though, that would really help me put my, you know, my scaring skills to the test.

If I can scare prisoners,

then I can scare anyone.

So if I go to prison, smuggle some fat in up my ass.

Yeah.

And then scare everyone.

Yeah.

I mean, your fingers are being chopped off straight away.

You're getting absolutely yakuza as soon as you bring a bottle of olive oil to a Japanese prison.

They might be quite novel, you know, like that's a that's a new thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never heard anyone do that.

They might like you tactic.

They might like you.

Honestly, though, I like this guy.

Yeah,

he's weird.

Honestly, there's gonna be a script writer in this who's listening to his podcast that's just like, whoa, wait a minute, that's a great superhero joke.

This Westerner who goes to Japan and tries to scare people with fat and

ends up in prison, smoking an olive oil up his ass.

What's this dessert called?

I don't know.

Mochi.

Malito?

Mochi cake.

Mochi cake with a strawberry in the middle.

Mochi cake with a strawberry in the middle.

It is very their desserts in like Natural Laws and all those convenience stores are very descriptive.

So it probably could be mochi cake with cake in the middle.

Mochi with cake in the middle.

I think mochi was the last food that I had that genuinely surprised me and I'd never had anything like it before.

Texturally.

Yeah.

There's nothing like it.

It's crazy.

It's pounded rice.

Yeah,

the way they make it as well, like

the hammer lads, just going for it.

Yeah.

It's great.

It's dangerous though.

Yeah.

People die.

Yeah, because they have to have the exact right rhythm, right?

Oh, not that.

I mean, people die eating it.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because if you're like a kid or an old person and you eat like a big, because the mochi that we have in Japan is like a square of mochi.

Yeah.

And you put it in the...

they call an oven toaster, which is basically a grill.

And then you wait till it kind of like explodes.

And that's when it's like, when it it gets hot then it's fully soft and chewy right but you have to be careful you have to chew it little by little because otherwise it can get blocked in your throat so

choke to death

every year there's casualties it's a every because it's a delicacy that you eat in like the new year's day

like celebrations so people die suppose some people on new year's day yeah i know that's how good it is that people are like i'm still gonna eat it yeah well because so they'll think won't they like i hear that a certain amount of people die from this every year but it can't be me.

The likelihood of that.

But then I guess

while it's happening, they must be thinking in their head, it's me this year.

I can't believe it was me this year.

I was so arrogant.

I said it wasn't going to be me.

It's me this year.

I'm watching.

I'm on a statistic.

I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

See how you feel about it?

Yeah, go on.

Still water.

Yeah.

Pop numbs of bread, you want Joe and the Juice, Joe's Club.

Yes.

Your starter, first of all, you want to snort a lactose tablet.

Lactase.

Lactase tablet.

You've got got to get this right, man.

I've got to stop.

I mean, if I'm going to blend in at these drugs parties, I've got to learn my terminology.

You start at a cheese souffle from Le Gavroche.

Am I saying that right?

Le Gavroche.

Main course, you want to go to Mr.

Dragon's Noodle House and have beef rolls, dumplings, noodle soup.

And side dish also from Mr.

Dragon's Noodle House of the Wok-Fried Green Beans.

Drink a Sudachi sour.

Yes.

Dessert, this mochi cake with strawberry in the middle from Natural Lawson.

Yes.

How do you feel about that hearing it back?

It sounds pretty good to me.

Yeah, sounds really good.

Sounds bloaty.

Sure.

It's one of the best kind of meals.

You're having a thin sandwich to start.

And then having a sandwich to start is not real.

It's not normal.

Do you want to crush up a Rennie and snort that at the end?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I think at the end, we're just going to have to bring you a massive mirror with all sorts of

digestive pills just all crushed up into lines.

And you go for it.

And then just like some Pepto-Bismol, just bitch liquid.

So you just...

Yeah,

snort everything on that mirror.

And then when the mirror's clear, you'll just see a reflection of me standing behind you with a jar of fat.

That's the only way you're going to do it.

I think that scares people off.

Yeah, but that's not the thing.

That seems very scary.

That is you who's scaring them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Suddenly, there's someone behind them.

Yeah, yeah.

So that doesn't count.

I won't count that as a win.

Word to go, though.

Yeah.

Let's end this episode now.

With a disclaimer.

Please do not snort any of Digestive A.

Don't order pills off Amazon.

Don't snort.

No, actually don't.

Sorry, I don't want to endorse anything.

Reena, thank you very much for coming to the Dreamrest.

Oh, my goodness.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you, Reena.

There we are.

Lovely chat with Reena.

Brilliant.

Brilliant menu.

Yes.

Lovely chat.

And no mention of banana yop.

No mention of banana yop, but I think I seem to remember I said I put a string vest in a dishwasher.

You did say that.

You were high as a kite at the time, I guess you wouldn't remember.

You crushed up a load of lactase tablets and snorted them up your butt.

So you won't remember that you spoke about that.

But you did say you put a string vest in a

dishwasher.

I'm going to make one out of ginger string.

And you would make one out of the ginger string as well.

So yeah,

you were really buzzing, man.

I'm a crazy guy, man.

I'm a crazy guy.

Also, that's another good reason why banana yop wasn't in there, because that would have required a lot of lactase.

Oh, God, that's a whole packet.

You'd have to get one of those subscriptions from Amazon for that.

Yeah, you'd have to get a full

year's worth of subscription and do them all at once.

You'd have to take a pill so big it would have a full-sized cow printed on it.

The scale.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

A scale cow.

Not a scaly cow.

Not a scaly cow, that's a fish.

Yeah.

I forget what a scaly cow would be, really.

A manatee.

Yeah, a manatee.

Have they got scales?

No.

Don't forget that Rina's new album is out now.

Hold the girl.

And her hot sauce, this hell.

And she's on tour.

So many things going on.

Absolutely no excuse for you not to have more Rina Soriyama in your life.

Yes.

Go get it.

I'm on tour as well.

Go and see me on tour.

Ed Gamble, Electric.

Edgamble.co.uk for tickets.

I've got a book out.

James Acass's Guide to Quitting Social Media, Being the Best You Can Be, and Saving Yourself from Loneliness, Volume 1.

I've not read it yet, but it's on, I put it at the front of my shelf.

It's like a lovely ornament.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, and people don't have to read it.

That's what people who bring out books don't tell you.

I'm happy for you to use it as an ornament.

I get paid the same either way.

Yes.

Audiobook out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, that.

Are you listening to that?

Yeah, just listen to it.

Yeah.

I mean, you hear my voice a bit too much.

I wouldn't really expect you guys to go anywhere near the book or the audio book, actually, the two of you.

That's a shame.

You need a break.

If I wrote a book and neither of you read it or listened to it, I'd be gutted.

Yeah, well, I'd read yours.

Yeah, yeah.

But I'd read it in Benito's voice.

So I feel like I've got both of you around.

My name's Ed Campbell, and I was born in Wilberton.

I got diabetes, but it's okay.

I used to be a fan, but now I'm a bit less fan.

I do a podcast with my best friend James.

He's cooler than me.

Slammed both of you at once.

Yeah.

Oh, well, it's boiling in here.

Yeah, I hate it.

It's boiling hot.

We've got another record to do today, and

that guest is going to go away with an opinion that I stink.

Thank you for listening.

Oh god, what happened to my fucking voice?

Better get it.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for listening.

Bye.

I'm the great bonito.

Thanks for listening to Ted and James Off Many podcasts.

Don't go hungry.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

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Sucks, the new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off-Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast.

That's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, badgering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes, they can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok, at Off Menu Podcast, on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes.

So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.