Ep 129: Jason Reitman

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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And here's the interesting thing: the smaller the podcasts are, the hotter they are.

Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast, where this host, Ed Gamble, has completely run out of ways to give a fun, food-themed introduction and is now just saying things that sort of make sense to do with food.

But this host, James Ancaster, still respects him very much and thinks he's an excellent host.

I'm in awe of him every single day.

Hey, thanks, buddy.

I'm in awe of you, too.

Thanks, buddy.

This is the food podcast, where we ask a special guest.

Their favourite ever starter main course dessert, side dish, and drink.

this week's guest is Jason Reitman.

That's right.

That's right, man.

It's Jason Reitman.

Jason Reitman's a fantastic director.

He's directed amazing films like Juno and Up in the Air.

And he's directed the new Ghostbusters movie that's coming out soon.

Wow, wee.

What a coup for the off-menu, boys.

Whoa, oh, we reeled in a big one, but I'll tell you what, Ed.

If he mentions the secret ingredient, we'll kick him out just like we do anybody else.

Yes, we will.

And the secret ingredient this week is Mewsley.

It's dry.

It's dusty.

I don't like it.

Not birch and muesley.

I'll let them get away with that.

But it's the normal, just flaky, white, dry, horrible muesley that no type of milk can ever bring to life.

That's it.

I'm done.

I disagree with that.

I like muesley.

It's only dry

because you're not putting anything on it yet.

Even when you put the milk on it, it's still dry.

That's what's amazing about muesli.

Even when you put, you can cover it in milk and it's still dry as the desert.

I don't agree with that at all.

I think you're missing the bowl with the milk or something.

No way.

Pinned milk bit of yogurt.

Oh, no.

I wish I was missing my mouth with the spoon when I'm eating Muesley.

I hate it.

How often do you persist with Muesley?

Three meals are daddy.

Hate it.

Yeah, you're an idiot.

So if Jason says Muesley, we will be reluctantly removing him from the restaurant.

But fingers crossed, he doesn't.

Fingers, fingers, fingers crossed.

Plus, Ed, I don't know if you know this, but this is one of the episodes that we have recorded here in Los Angeles.

I do in America.

Yes, here we are, and we're talking to Jason from our Airbnb in LA.

The Great Bonito's got his Hawaiian shirt and his trunks on with the big pineapple with a straw sticking out of it.

He loves it.

He's doing a little hula hula, baby.

Oh, Bonito, the Great Bonito,

Aqua Bonito.

Oh, Ed.

Yeah, someone's at the door.

Oh, it's Jason Reidman.

It's Jason Reidman.

Welcome, Jason, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Whoa!

Welcome, Jason Reidman, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

I didn't expect it to just formulate around me like that.

Right?

Look at that.

Do you like it?

It's scented as well.

Breathe it in.

Well, I'm.

Well, the only thing I'm nervous.

How can the food live up to the environment?

That's impressive.

And this is all based on the dream restaurant's based on what you want in a dream restaurant as well.

So it's like your Google search history

when you type in the thing and there's a drop-down box.

Yeah.

So this is all, everything in here has come from your mind.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's kind of depressing, actually.

We really create the realities we want.

All right.

Low ceilings, dim light.

Got it.

Yeah, yeah.

You never would have thought.

It's exactly what I I would have thought.

Oh, exactly what you would have envisioned.

I'm into low ceilings and dim light in a restaurant.

Yeah, you know.

I enjoy that, yeah.

How come?

It's often with big, airy dining spaces.

I like the look of them, and then there's like a lot of wood, but then you can hear glasses clinking too much, and you can hear too much cutlery, and it bounces all around the room.

Like a dead sound room.

You know, it's better for a movie theater showing a comedy, too.

Yeah?

Yeah, you want a lower ceiling.

I always found when I played theaters with high ceilings, you lose the laughter.

It just kind of evaporates.

Is it that way for?

I mean, I know you're a genie, but if you imagine for a moment being a comedian.

I can imagine that.

Okay.

Yeah, for stand-up, it's definitely better to have a low ceiling, I think.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Unless it's like a proper like Proscenia March theater, but then you've got like seats all the way up to the top.

So

yeah, but yeah, definitely.

You want low ceiling.

There's lowest pot and a high floor.

Yes, a stage, I call that.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

high floor, low ceiling, right?

Is that a technical term?

High floor, low ceiling.

High floor, low ceiling.

But you don't want to be like craning your neck against the ceiling.

It's quashed as possible.

If it's just you and the audience just in a cool space, like in a

like you're going potholing, yeah, yeah, that together.

Yeah, and then everyone's laughing, having a good time.

You're the one who knows the way out and they want to keep you happy.

A lot of people, when they watch the film The Descent, were quite scared.

We watched that and thought, that'd be a great space to play.

It's a good gig.

My mom once insulted the lighting in my home by saying, Your home is lit like a restaurant.

Oh, wow.

Oh, no.

Yeah, she said, Your home is lit like a Chinese restaurant.

Oh, wow.

So, specific is a specific lighting.

It's insulting and slightly racist.

Yeah, so you took down all the lanterns.

Yeah.

Well, fine, mom.

I like the ducks out the window.

That little cat that's like doing the waving thing with its hat and the golden cat.

Get rid of it.

Would you consider yourself a foodie, Jason?

I love food.

You know,

it's a tricky term, right?

Oh, you know, I will say this.

Perhaps controversial.

I'm not sure how often you guys do that on this podcast.

Yeah.

I hate home-cooked food.

This, well, no one said this yet.

I don't get it.

People love it.

People rave about it.

People talk, oh, I wish it tasted like back home.

And the people cook at home are amateurs.

They're not professionals.

Like, you have the opportunity to go to a place where there are professionals who, their entire life, all they've done is work towards learning how to prepare food at the highest order.

And then not only that, they, this sounds like a babit like that I do all the time.

This is not.

I'm saying this was,

they literally perfect the exact meal that you were about to have.

And yet the fact that people would be like, ah, no, I just, I want it by the person who raised me who doesn't know much about cooking and kind of just does this kind of thing.

I

don't get it.

Also, my parents don't cook.

But

I have something to do.

Sure, another window.

No one in your family ever cooked and you've always eaten at restaurants.

Hold on a second.

No, but even when I've gone, I've had friends invite me over and say, oh, you gotta, you know, you have to have my grandmother's this, or my mom's or dad's this.

And I was like, yeah, have you ever been to this restaurant?

They do a great version of the thing that your grandmother does.

It's their job.

It's literally their job to do it.

Yeah, yeah.

If only, like, you know,

I'll get you kind of running the risk of like if you're completely,

I might get like in a kind of codependent relationship with the restaurant people if I'm trying to replace my parents with them.

You know, you're calling them up and having a lot of people.

Yeah, you call them up and being like, oh, I've had a really tough day.

And they're like, we've just made you your food.

That's all we do.

That's all we do.

Yeah, but I thought you'd be better at everything.

I heard you did a better version of what my grandmother did.

I'm just feety about my problems.

But imagine if we applied the same logic to anything else that we enjoy.

Imagine if you applied that to movies.

Sure.

Do I like Spielberg films?

Yes.

But more often than not, I just want to see a movie the way that my grandma used to make it.

Yeah, yeah.

The video my dad filmed on the beach in 1987 is so much better than Indiana Jones.

That's a video.

I'd like to see that.

I'd like to see your dad make a...

Your dad's quite a character.

I'd like to see him make his own Indiana Jones with his iPhone or something.

Yeah.

There's a holiday video of my dad somewhere, and I don't know why he did this.

He looks down the camera, he's got his glasses on the end of his nose, and he says, The name's Strange.

Dr.

Rick Strange.

No idea why I did that.

I prefer that to Doctor Strange, the film.

Also, for you, the movies one is quite a bad example of going, like, oh no, don't go and watch movies.

Oh, my dad's gonna make a movie.

It's like the worst

movie.

All right.

Oh, I'll just watch a movie my dad had made, shall I?

Some home-cooked movie movie.

Fair.

Yeah, I lost that one.

Yeah, but then sometimes your parents hand the recipe down and you get to make the same dish years later.

And that was the moment I realized, I should try home cooking.

Yeah,

yeah, maybe do that.

So we always start with still a sparkling water on the podcast.

Sparkling.

Sparkling water.

Straight in.

Does anyone go still?

Yeah, loads of people.

Oh, yeah.

I'd say more people go still.

Why?

Really?

Than go still.

I think it's been kind of 50-50.

Sorry, am I going to be charged for this imaginary meal?

No, not at all.

Oh, sorry, no.

You got to pay tip.

You got to tip the genie.

Okay.

Well, if I also, if I'm not paying, then I'm going sparkling.

I mean,

I like how baffled you are at the idea of anyone selecting still water.

But I think I'd I just prefer still water.

Did they just go for a run?

Is that the only time you can imagine drinking a still water?

Yes.

If I just ran, like I'm getting out of yoga.

I don't know.

I think some people don't want to appear.

Completely perplexed.

Yeah.

Completely gumsmacked by anybody's water.

Maybe it's breakfast, then you wouldn't have sparkling water.

No, I think some people just prefer still water to sparkly water.

Tell them what the pros are of sparkling over still.

It's delicious.

It's an experience.

I also don't like water.

Okay.

Well, here we go again.

It is going to be a trend.

There's always a secret, like, little twist at the end of it that explains all of them.

I've never liked water in the first place.

I prefer bubbles to water, and one of them's got bubbles in it.

My parents only drink milk.

Yeah.

Don't like water.

You live in LA, though.

That's like water.

Everyone's hydrated here.

Yeah, I suppose.

Although we aren't.

I mean, yes, the ocean is there, but it's not as though I grew up near Lake Arrowhead.

So you just...

But that doesn't mean you don't know why you need to know what you're you're doing.

You grew up near LA.

No, but he implied that I was surrounded by water.

I was more.

Like, it's never like a well and there was people walking around with like, you know, buckets on their heads.

No, I don't feel surrounded by water.

I don't think that everyone in LA is going down to the ocean and drinking like cows at

Buffalo and the Serengeti.

Is that a thing?

No, you lost confidence in that.

If I was in the Rocky Mountains, I would want more water, because then I would trust the water coming out of the faucet

more than I would in Los Angeles.

But here it's a bit, yeah,

you're a bit hesitant.

Yeah.

So you don't like water?

I mean, is there anything that you so?

What in your day-to-day, what do you normally drink instead of water?

Are you drinking other stuff or are you drinking water down and thinking, I hate this so much?

I'm presuming I can use brand names here.

Oh, that could be offensive anyway.

If you use brand names, we'll probably get some free stuff sent to us.

Oh, hold on.

So let me list a few.

Starbucks.

That's always a friendly face anywhere I go.

And then Coke Zero.

Oh, yeah.

Instead of water.

I mean, it's far tastier.

Yeah, no, no, I completely agree.

Have you heard the story, by the way, about Coke Zero?

No.

About

why there is Coke Zero?

Have you heard?

Do you know the story of New Coke?

No.

Okay, so I'll try to tell this fast or you'll cut it out.

Oh, no, you'd be surprised.

I've told some boring Coke stories in my time, but Bonito's always kept them in.

Oh, well, let's start 50 years back then.

So in the 80s, there was a moment where Pepsi started to beat Coke.

And in that moment, Coke created a new formula.

You may remember this, they created something called New Coke, and it was a disaster.

And in response, they came out with Classic Coke, the original formula.

When they came out with Classic Coke, they did not change the flavor of Diet Coke.

So Diet Coke tastes like New Coke.

So if you want to taste the failed formula, of the 1980s New Coke, try Diet Coke.

That's what it tastes like.

That's what it was.

And then recently, Coca-Cola realized, oh, we have the technology to create a zero-calorie beverage that tastes like Coca-Cola.

And they came out with Coke Zero.

So that's why there is Coke Zero.

But they didn't know how to market because they couldn't pull Diet Coke off the shelf because there's people who love Diet Coke.

Yeah, but they love new Coke.

And so they had to figure out a new way to market it.

And so they came up with this uber masculine black can.

Yeah,

and that's why you have Coke Zero.

Now, this is sure that Diet Coke tasted like normal Coke.

I told you, Benito.

I told you this.

This is the thing, you see.

I used to, I cut caffeine out of my diet in 2013.

You wouldn't know it.

Didn't have anything to do with any caffeine, right?

Well, this is the thing.

Five years later, 2018, I fell off the wagon.

What I did was start drinking Diet Coke.

So I didn't drink anything else, but I thought, I'll have Diet Coke.

That's got caffeine in it.

I'll have that anyway.

I hadn't had Coke in five years, so Diet Coke tasted like regular Coke to me.

And this is what I've been saying on this podcast for ages of how it tastes like normal Coke to me.

And now it's been confirmed that the reason why is because it's new coke that's what i've been drinking the whole time but when did this new coke thing happen in the 80s yeah so that's not why james that was in the 80s no no no no diet coke to this day tastes like new coke yeah he's never had new coke that's what i'm saying yes i have diet coke i speak all the time but he knows it doesn't taste like regular coke

i feel like i'm being ganged up on here oh but i think regardless james that's still a very boring story no no it's a great story it's a great story And you know what?

This is the main running thread for the whole podcast, is that story.

You become it as it actually is.

Yep,

I hardly ever bring it up myself.

This comes up out of nowhere.

And Jason just told, basically, we just had a prequel to it.

That's exciting for the fans at home.

We got in the DeLorean.

Yeah, yeah.

We got right at the DeLorean.

We hopped back in time and we learnt why it tastes like regular Coke to me.

That is exciting.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

So excited.

Instead of water, would you like us to get you a Coke Zero?

I'll be cook.

Instead, I'm just going to have this water.

Okay, Popped the water was the choice.

Yeah.

Pop-a-dumbs or bread.

Pop-a-dumbs or bread, Jason.

Pop-a-dumbs or bread.

I don't know what you're asking.

Pop-a-dums or bread.

As has happened with every American guest we've had, James has shouted pop-a-dums or bread at the top of his voice, and they've looked at me for a translation.

And?

Pop-a-doms?

Are you aware?

No, I still don't know what you're talking about.

Pop-a-dums, a crispy.

Is this like a homemade food?

Is this something that your grandparents are?

Like a crispy Indian snack that you'd get at the beginning of a meal.

It's like a large chip.

They'd bring it out at the same time that people would bring out bread.

This is basically...

That sounds fantastic.

The time in the meal where they usually bring out some bread.

Just think of any version of that that you've had at different restaurants.

It could be chips and dips.

It could be prawn crackers in a Chinese restaurant.

Whatever.

Whatever your favourite thing is to have, that pre-meal thing that they bring out.

That's what we'll get you.

Well, I want what you just described.

The poppadom.

Popadoms.

Yeah.

Have you ever had them?

I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds great.

Someone's choosing it.

So they're very crispy, they're like big, you like break them up and you dip them in like chutney.

Yes, I'm in.

Yeah.

And like, it's a yogurt, minty, yogurt dip.

Yeah.

Can I be for the first guest who just tries new things today?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I think that's a great idea.

I'd love that.

Yeah, that's really good.

Have someone say their dream meal is some stuff they didn't know existed until they came in here.

Are you not a big bread guy in general?

You don't really not into bread before the meal?

No, I'm in.

Oh, so you're into all of this?

Oh, yeah.

I am so down down right now love this place love the restaurant love the genie love your outfit thank you very much i the pop-a-doms and how many of them do you want but they're about like i'm trying to show you the size of them there they're like that big i'm like start with one let's not go crazy

what do i want to save myself for this meal

i'd go we'll bring you two and then you can no you can decide to leave don't be offended if i don't finish the second but that's fine i'll have it in the i'll eat it in the back

do you often like if you go out to eat have you had this like attitude before where you're a bit like i've never heard of that.

Let's do it.

Let's try this.

That's a new thing.

And it ever backfired on you.

That's a new thing.

I think up until 30 years old, I would have said, can we just go to McDonald's?

Yes.

And

then I kind of had a breakthrough in my 30s.

I started dating someone who pushed me to try new things.

I tried yoga.

That changed my life.

That's something I would have just mocked.

up until then.

And then I got into trying new things.

And lo and behold.

Has it ever, have you ever in a restaurant ordered something blind that you didn't know what it was, hadn't tried it before, and then actually it was real bad and you really regretted it?

I'm sure I have.

I mean, again, as I've gotten older, I've had more confidence to say, what's the best thing on the menu?

Bring that.

That sounds great.

Right.

I think I need to start doing that.

Because I think I'm still preoccupied by looking like I know what I'm talking about.

So I'll be like, hmm, that looks good.

I'll get that.

Whereas I should go, bring me the best.

Bring me the best stuff.

Yeah, you know what's funny?

There's a word that I always thought was kind of a dirty word.

And then I have started to learn to be more confident to use it.

And that is, what's the most popular thing you have here?

Yeah.

And

there's a tendency for us to think that popular is somehow a bad word.

And you wouldn't want to have what was most popular.

It's like, oh, no, give me the most unpopular thing.

And if you can get, you know,

off of that and say, I've never been here.

I'm not sure if I'll be back.

Maybe I'm in a new play, a new town.

What do I have to have?

What's the most popular thing on the menu?

You're going to do all right.

Yeah, that's true.

And

I would say, like,

especially, you get quite, you don't like ordering the same thing as someone else on the table.

Hate it.

You hate that.

It's getting better on this trip.

What's the problem with that?

Well, so say we're away, you know, we're in LA, we're in New York, we're going to a place that we probably won't ever go back to again.

New place.

If everyone orders the same thing, you're only seeing one small part of the menu.

Oh, so you're presuming you get to try everyone else's meal?

No, I don't even mind just seeing it, but I just want a full experience, maybe, you know,

a few selections from the menu just to see what's going on.

And when he likes to survey it around.

I knew a couple where the husband was vegan and the wife was not, and he would encourage her constantly to order things that he just wanted to see and hear her describe as she ate them, despite the fact that he would never have it himself.

Yeah, I think that's lovely.

I don't think that that sounds creepy.

Even though they're together, he's a creep.

That's exactly.

You watch ASMR videos.

That's basically what that is.

No, no, it's different.

Have you ever heard about super tasters?

Yes, we've had a super taster.

We've had a super taster podcast.

Right.

Guess who it was?

Wait, who's the super taster?

Rose McGowan.

Come on.

Rose McGowan Gowan got hit in the head with a car door and became a super taster.

Come on.

Wait.

It was the result of injuries?

Yeah, yeah.

She wasn't before.

But she also also lost her sense of smell, but maintained her sense of taste, and the taste became super.

Come on.

Look, this is what Rose told us.

And now she can, like, eat something and be like, I think the cook used this soap before he made the dish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, she has to have very simple ingredients, like, you know, three or four ingredients max in each dish.

She's been to universities where they've done tests on her tongue.

Come on.

Well, this is what she said.

Apparently, these are sought-after people.

Yes.

Like, companies will look for super tasters to hire to analyze their food and see what will be popular for the public and, like, what could be taken out.

And Rose McGowan's one of them.

Rose McGowan might be trying food that one day you'll eat.

Right now, she might be sampling it and deciding what's going to be good.

I learned about this when I was doing...

I used to direct commercials and I directed some of the worst commercials you've ever seen.

Commercials that if you saw, you'd say, you're not allowed to direct movies.

And then somehow that happened.

And I directed a campaign for Baskin-Robbins.

Great.

Yes.

I'm on board.

And they took us to their lab where they designed their ice creams.

And I met this woman in like a white lab coat.

And she was beautiful, by the way.

And she wasn't designing the ice creams.

Yeah.

And she said, you know, the best way to have

ice cream.

I've had this dream.

Yeah.

I've had this dream.

I'm in the Baskin Robins Invention Series.

A beautiful lady looks at me and says, you know, the best way to have ice cream.

And then I wake up and I try and go to sleep and get back into the dream again, but I can't.

That's how much I love it.

Go on.

What did she say to you?

A golden spoon.

And the reason is because apparently gold doesn't conduct temperature as much as other metals.

And because of that, you taste the spoon less.

Wow.

I have never wanted anything made of gold before.

You're going to get a golden spoon.

Oh, yeah.

And a chain around your neck.

He's just going to carry it around everywhere.

Like, you know, like, Lemmy from Motorhead used to have a Coke spoon.

Yeah, it's just going to have an ice cream spoon around.

Made of gold.

Yeah.

Who's that ice cream?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I can't wait.

That's exciting.

A golden spoon.

There are people in the world eating ice cream with a golden spoon.

Oh, that's exciting.

Or who refuse to eat ice cream with a golden spoon if they don't have a golden spoon yeah oh i love it no i'm sorry i'm not gonna be able to join you do you have a golden spoon no clearly you don't like ice cream yeah yeah well you wouldn't know what you're on think how much you love ice cream now yeah and you've never had it with a golden spoon yeah i mean i would have to it would have to be a golden spoon that i own and always carry around with me because like if it wasn't then like if i like had some ice cream with a golden spoon and then I had to give it back yeah it was like the best ice cream ever I wouldn't want to ruin ice cream for myself yeah from then on I was tasting the spoon all the time and and being like, oh, no, it's disgusting.

You know, so I would want to always have the golden spoon.

You don't want to share someone's golden spoon.

No.

Well.

That seems a little personal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It does, yeah.

When you have your own golden spoon.

You know what's weird?

Why is a spoon more personal than a fork?

I know what you mean.

I guess people are really more likely to lick a spoon, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, you're more intimate with a spoon.

You are more intimate with the spoon.

Your whole mouth's going around it.

You might drag it out.

Yeah, you're least intimate with a knife.

Yeah,

hopefully.

I mean, you know, you don't want any of these knife lickers around you.

There are some knife liquors, so I told off a lot as a kid if I licked my knife.

Did you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big time.

Don't lick your knife.

That was my mum's catchphrase.

Yeah.

Knife's bottom of the table.

Fork, friendship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your spoon,

completely romantic.

Yeah,

fork, you might spear something and then just literally bite the thing off the fork.

Spoon,

you are getting your mouth on every surface, bit of surface area, apart from the handle.

Yeah.

Well, who knows?

Yeah.

No judgment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How deep can you go?

You know, no judgment.

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Okay, so we come to your starter.

So the actual meal begins now.

We'll see which one of those utensils you're using first.

We know for a fact it's not going to be home cooked.

There is a

little dumpling stand

in Flushing Queens called White Bear.

Great.

And they have these

spicy dumplings.

It's the only thing they have on the menu.

And

I fantasize about this.

I fantasize about getting back to New York and trying these dumplings.

Perfect.

That's ideal.

I think anywhere that only does one thing,

I mean, you know it's going to be, it'd be awful if you went somewhere and they go, we only do one thing, and it's shit.

It's so bad.

Here's the best part.

They have a menu board.

Up in the stand

with about 15 things on it.

Right.

And if you go there, this is what I, so I went and I'd heard I have to have the dumplings and I knew, all right, that's why I'm here.

I made it all the way out to Flushing.

I am clearly going to order the thing that everyone talks about on Yelp.

While I'm here, maybe

not unlike you and you're kind of, why don't we all order something different?

I want to see, I mean, this is clearly a good restaurant.

What else do you have?

So I asked about, what about, you know, number three?

What about number seven?

What about number 12?

And the woman who,

it was a family-operated thing.

It was husband and wife.

He cooks, she takes the orders.

And for everything else I asked about, she said, we don't have enough time.

We don't have enough time.

We don't have enough time.

And then I said, oh,

do you, I finally said, do you ever have enough time?

And she said, no.

And then I said, why don't you change the menu?

And I swear to God, she says, we don't have enough time.

Their life is just 24 hours a day making those dumplings they've got no time for anything so many dumplings we don't i don't have enough time to answer these questions i can't believe you made me do this oh you know what else is great about this restaurant and this is you know again one of my favorite things dumplings until they run out oh great right what are their hours till we run out yeah yeah at like uh like a barbecue place in texas yeah yeah yeah i think that's always exciting because then you want to get you're more eager to get there you don't know if they're going to be shut yet as well certain times of day you're kind of like rolling the dice a bit you end up up eating dumplings at like 8 a.m.

Well, that's always the thing, also.

So imagine you do all the work to get there, they run out, and then a block down, there's like another dumpling place, and you're like, I was really in the mood.

I know they're not going to be great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it'd almost be better to go for a burger at that point.

That's how that other dumpling place does all their business:

people, disappointed people coming and going, I guess I'll get these dumplings.

They're just hanging around like a vulture.

Come on in, we've got time.

Loads of time in here, man.

What do you want on the menu?

Oh, they just ran out.

I guess we got to open up the shop.

They should just get to the other dumpling place super early and buy all the dumplings.

Then just lead everyone away like the pied piper.

So these dumplings, what kind of dumplings are we talking in?

Are they quite crispy?

Are they soft?

No, no, no.

They're very soft, you know, whatever that rice noodle and

quite spicy.

And frankly, like some of the best Chinese food, when you have that one unique taste where you go, wait a second, I've never had this taste in my mouth ever before, and I don't think I ever will again.

That's how it tastes.

And at what point were you at White Bear and you're looking around going, oh, where did you get your lamps?

Yeah, yeah.

I love the lighting in here.

It's like being at home.

What's actually in the dumplings?

Is it meat?

Are they just veggie?

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

I know.

Considering

I should know that.

I'm presuming pork because most dumplings are.

Yeah, yeah.

But

I don't know.

It seems to me mainly the thing that draws you to it is that indescribable flavor you've not had anywhere else.

And that's the thing that would make you choose this place above anyone.

Well, what drew to me at first was there is this thing.

It is fantastic.

It's not easy to get to.

They run out quickly.

You need to go now.

You need to plan a trip around it.

Yeah.

And that got me excited.

I was excited about the adventure.

Yeah, yeah.

Those kind of places when it is, yeah, that kind of someone tells you all those things Mm-hmm That does like yeah, that lures you in immediately and you also with those kind of places I find like when I'm on my way there I'm thinking I've already decided this is one of the best meals I've ever had.

Yes, like I've already decided this is one of the best meals ever.

Yeah, well also will they still have dumplings?

Will it still be open?

So you are creating like a Hitchcockian scheme to your own meal.

There's a bomb under the table.

Will it go off?

I mean like that is now part of the adventure of getting as opposed to I'm just gonna grab some food.

They're open.

I have money.

This is gonna be fine.

Yeah.

It feels like there's a sort of knockabout comedy film in trying to get the dumplings, like a sort of jingle all the way, but for Chinese food.

Yeah.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Was a script that came in a couple times to me.

I believe that's

that falls into the genre.

Yes, definitely of trying to find something.

Yes.

No, no, it's Howard and Kumar go to White Castle, isn't it?

Yeah, they go to White Castle.

Which I've never been to White Castle before.

By the way,

it made made me want to.

Okay, so White Castle falls into a very specific category, and I'm not sure if you've gone over this category before on your podcast.

A type of food that if you grew up in the region, you think is brilliant, and if you did not,

just shit.

It's just horrible.

Like where you can hear it all your life from people who are from a White Castle location going, oh my God, they're the best.

And then you go to try them.

You're like, oh, I'm finally there.

I'm on the East Coast.

I'm going to try White Castle.

And it's not only not great,

it's actually awful.

Do Philly cheesesteaks fall into that category?

Philly cheesesteaks are just heavy and messy.

And I feel like they are just experientially overwhelming in a good way.

And I think that's why they're.

You've had Philly cheesesteaks?

No, gone to the street corner.

I've seen people eating them on TV and thought, I'm not sure I would enjoy that.

Okay, so I went to the street corner in Philadelphia where there are the two Philly cheesesteak places.

I can't remember.

There's one called Pat's?

Patsy's or Patty's?

It's two guys.

I can't remember it.

Maybe like Pat's and Tony's or something.

I had one.

I think I had the wrong one, too.

I had the one where, like, then you tell from people from Philly are like, which one did you go to?

I went to that one.

You went to the wrong one.

And yeah, it was, it was fine.

Okay.

I don't need to go back to that.

But it wasn't, it wasn't the White Castle, that is shit.

You didn't have that reaction.

No, White Castle is just like, what are we talking about here?

Right, okay.

Oh, second controversial statement of the podcast.

Yeah.

It's like coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

Oh, now some people have become a pod lover.

I've said that they love Donner.

Oh, you just lost subscribers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Benito, didn't you say you loved Benito?

The great Benito.

The Great Bonito here loves Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

Really?

Absolutely loves it.

I had an iced Dunkin' Donuts coffee at the airport at JFK when we were flying here, and it was fine.

There's

nothing good about it.

I wasn't like, this is the best coffee I've ever had.

Right, but if you grew up in Massachusetts, you would think it was the greatest coffee ever made.

Right.

Do you just have that drilled into you from an early age?

Like, this coffee's amazing.

And then you want to represent your area by shouting about the coffee.

What's your version of that?

Classically, I mean, there's no real kind of like,

around Ketrin where I grew up, Ketrin.

There's no real like local.

well wheat abix?

Wheatabix.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you had Wheatabix cereal?

No.

So it's just

these bricks of compacted wheat

that you put in a bowl.

Like maybe you have like between two and four in a bowl.

And then you pour milk over them and that's your cereal.

But really, or you don't have to pour milk.

You can put whatever you like on them.

So people like put milk or they put like yogurt or chopped up fruit or anything.

And I I used to have a joke about it where I said you basically just put anything that tastes better than Wheatabix on them.

That's what I used to say.

And then the Wheatabix people heard that I did a joke about them, didn't know what the joke was, and then sent me my own box of Wheatabix with my name on it.

And now I love Wheatabix.

Stans?

But

they're really dry.

And then you put milk on them and they immediately go soggy.

There's no nice in-between stage where they're the perfect.

It's just the awfulness.

It's not one of the painful cereals that actually physically hurts your mouth.

Oh, if you ate it dry, it would.

Or if you ate it dry, but no one's really doing that.

Some people are, like wood chippers,

but like most people aren't doing that.

There are some, there are some cereals that are like early forms of BDSM, right?

We're like cafe crunch, where like, yeah, you're mad.

Yeah, absolutely mad.

But like, no, no.

Wheatabook's actually quite a sensible cereal, really.

It's one of the more healthier cereals, that's true.

But yeah, kind of Ketmin's probably a bit more, we're quite proud of it.

You know, it's made its way around the world a bit.

People love it.

But a lot of people who don't come come from Kevin would say that they think Wheatabix stinks.

Do you know?

Is it

on Why?

Hayon Why?

Yeah,

I went to a festival there.

There's a huge literary festival.

There's more bookstores per capita there than any other place in the UK or Europe.

And they also show films.

I went there once as a filmmaker, which is

it feels so secondhand to be a filmmaker at a literary festival.

It's like, oh, we're also showing movies in this tent.

And

I remember the food of Hayon Y was this mutton stew

that had a rough odor to it, and you could smell it anywhere

in town.

And so my whole association with that town is stinky muffins

and mutton stew.

They'll be very proud to hear that.

Yeah.

They might be, though.

I think they were proud.

I mean, when I got there, like, oh, you have to have the stew.

I've done gigs for the people in hang on why oh yeah we've done stand-up gigs yeah we've done stand-up gigs

you feel weird being a film at a literary festival imagine being a comedian at a literary festival they do not give a shit about you it's basically a load of bemused uh readers and jay from five yeah just go what this

point tell you who jay from five is i laughed i i went yeah that sounds funny uh they're they were boy band in the 90s that was my guess that was my guy and jay was like the one who would uh do the rapping bits but not you know he wasn't strictly how's he doing uh he lives in hang on why now and he doesn't like it if you point out at a comedy gig that he's Jay from Five.

That's how he's doing.

All due credit to Five.

I think they were one of the first boy bands to use the number instead of the letter.

So Five was spelt number five IVE.

Oh, was that before or after the movie Seven came out?

Good question.

I would love it if Five influenced the movie Seven.

If that was the influence.

Andrew Kevin Walker is at home writing seven.

He's like, wait a second.

The soundtrack of my writing has actually been this.

It's like get up singing one.

Yeah.

No one knows, but actually Slam Dunk Defunct by Five is about finding Gwyde of Pouch's heavy

box.

That's what it's about.

Yeah.

It's all about.

Were they popular in 1995?

They're post-1995?

Oh, yeah, they were in 1995, I think.

Yeah, maybe Seven just predates five.

I mean, it's even worse if the boy band five were influenced by the film Seven.

Yeah, that would be...

You can't really hear that in their music.

I like that film.

It's really good.

So, your main course, we've come to your main

brilliant starter.

Yes.

God, I have three options here.

I'm going to throw two out there as options.

You tell me which road you'd like to go down.

Okay.

Okay, sure.

One is in Tokyo.

One is a restaurant that no longer exists in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and has a very funny name.

Yeah, well, you sold one a lot more than the other.

I know which one you're pushing us to.

Albuquerque.

But

we might go over to Tokyo after.

We definitely want to hear about both at some point.

The restaurant in Albuquerque was called Charlie's Back Door.

Yes.

Love it.

Well, we made the right decision.

Yeah, yeah.

Glad we're here.

Charlie's front door was a restaurant.

Oh, my.

And a successful one, at which point they decided to

buy the next door space and open Charlie's back door.

Right.

Charlie's back door was a very dark bar with year-round Christmas decorations,

a low ceiling, and very little light,

old weird paintings, and like every place in Albuquerque, New Mexico, had green chili in everything, particularly my favorite dish, which was their green chili, sour cream, and chilada,

which sounds awful,

but was phenomenal, and it breaks my heart that I can't go back.

Yeah, so is Charlie's back door and front door both shut?

To the public?

Yeah.

Both the front door and the back door are shut.

And did they go at the same time or did the front door go first and then they were like, we're going to the back door?

I wish I was more of an expert.

But I know if you ask someone from Albuquerque, because sometimes I'll forget the name shocker, and say, there was a place in Albuquerque I loved.

It had a horrible name, and they would say, oh, Charlie's back door.

It was also in a strip mall, which made it even kind of stranger.

So it was, imagine, you know, an open parking lot with a two-story structure that also probably had,

you know, a dry cleaner and a massage parlor and then Charlie's front and Charlie's back door.

Wow.

So what was it about the enchilada that made it like such a good meal?

God, great question.

First of all, it has the taste of green chili.

And green chili, like if you haven't had it before, there's this very specific thing to New Mexico.

They have the world's best green chili.

Great.

On top of that, it was a sloppy mess.

You really didn't know where the enchilada started or finished.

It looked like something you could drown in.

It was soupy and gross and befitting of the decor of the restaurant.

Yeah.

And somehow also delicious.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, that sounds great.

That sounds amazing.

Also, the green chilies has really sold it to me in terms of like...

Again, but it's also the opposite of what you're talking about earlier.

Like a place where, like, something that comes from a place, everyone in that place says it's great, but it is legitimately great.

Like, everyone who goes there's like, these green chilies, yeah, I'm amazing here and better than anywhere else.

Oh, it is the opposite of White Castle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It's a

phenomenal.

The back door.

The back door.

Now, the Japanese restaurant.

Yuki's back passage.

Oh, you've been preparing that.

You have to.

You've been working on that for a while, bro.

The elves are just

all the way through that chat.

I was like, it's a bit quiet.

What's going on here?

What's he doing?

Yeah, Yuki's back passage ready to go.

He didn't hesitate for a second.

There's two ways to win a like a hand of poker.

One is to kind of slowly unfold your hand, another is to flip the card down the screen too.

So in Tokyo, there's a restaurant called Mikawa, and it's a tiny place in a suburban neighborhood that is hard to find.

And inside is a small temporary restaurant with a bar that seats maybe six people and two top tables.

And

it is a temporary restaurant in which the chef sits behind the bar.

There is one thing, you just say, I'm having whatever he's giving me.

And he just takes something and he dips it into the tempura batter.

and then sets it on a little piece of paper in front of you and you eat it.

And then he takes something else and he dips that in the tempura batter.

And you really don't know one thing from the next.

And he could literally just have dipped his boot.

I mean, he was like, and now this.

And what I liked about that is we talked about trying new experiences and the fear of trying new experiences.

And this is one of those, I don't want to be insulting.

I'm definitely going to eat whatever he sets in front of me.

And I'm going to try.

And at one point, there was like, there was an entire fish.

It was a small fish about three inches long, six or seven centimeters long.

And he just...

Dipped the whole fish, set it in front of me, and then it ate the whole fish.

Wow.

Amazing.

Yeah.

And it was delicious.

Amazing.

Amazing.

I mean, and so much food that I felt genuinely sick at the end of it.

Right.

But pure experience, start to finish.

And are there any, there was no dips that you then dipped it into some sauce or anything like that.

It was just whatever he dipped into the batter as it as it was.

And the sauce you made yourself.

So if you think about a tempura sauce that normally has some kind of flaky bits in it and has some kind of chopped-up green thing.

I don't know what it is.

I didn't grow up in a home where they cook food, so no idea what that stuff was.

You make your own.

So they have all the ingredients for your sauce, and you more flaky bits, and more of the green stuff, and then you just dip whatever he just fried into the sauce, and you eat it.

Oh, good amazing.

That sounds incredible.

It does sound incredible.

It was incredible.

And somehow light and heavy at the same time.

Like, it's tempura, but there was a lightness to it.

And he just did it right in front of you.

I mean, as far away as you and I from each other.

Dips, sets it down, and then you eat it.

I feel like Japan is so geared towards those new sorts of experiences, though, as well, because quite often you don't get there and like it's so different, you don't really understand what's going on.

So you just walk in somewhere and just let it happen.

Right.

Whereas in you know, in America, I'll be constantly googling stuff and constantly finding out what the best place to go is or what I should be doing.

Whereas in Japan, I think you can just let things unfold a bit more.

Why do you think you'd be more willing to do that though in Tokyo than you would in somewhere in Germany or somewhere in Peru?

Like there's something about being in Tokyo, like, all right,

hit me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess, like, I haven't been, but everyone who has been tells me that they didn't have a bad meal there.

So, I guess if I went there, I would be more like, feel like I'm not going to go wrong here.

I told you, I only had one bad meal there.

Yeah, that's at the Pokemon.

At the Pokemon restaurant.

How bad was it, though?

It was pretty bad.

I mean, it was, I had a curry, I had a katsu curry, and the rice was in the shape of Pikachu's face.

And sounds like a good meal to me.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think think first bites with the eye Ed?

We had just arrived, so I was super jet-like.

So the first bite nearly was with my eyes.

It was a weird sort of experience to have for the first arriving time.

Did you go down to the fish market and have sushi at five in the morning?

We didn't do that.

Oh, that's one of the great experiences.

You go down to the fish market in the you know the crack of dawn and you walk around you watch the fish getting auctioned and you eat sushi.

I'm going to do that when I go Ed.

Yeah.

I'm not going to the Pokemon.

Actually, I will go to the Pokemon restaurant.

I'll probably catch some Pokemon there.

I love Pokemon.

James loves Pokemon.

Gone out on my phone, played all the time.

Was that your introduction to Pokemon, or were you already a fan?

I was already a fan.

Well, actually, no, it was like last year I was on tour and I just needed something to do when I was in the car all the time.

And

also, I found that by playing Pokemon, I could bond with my nephews when I went home.

So it was a real win-win.

Did you see Detective Pikachu?

Yeah, well, I bought it for when my nephew, one of my nephews, visited me in London, and we went around for the day, and I taken to the Pokemon.

There was like a pop-up Pokemon store and I told him we're going to go to this thing.

We got there and there was a queue.

We went to join the queue and the guy was like, no, we closed the queue for the day.

That queue's been closed since 10 a.m.

And it was like 5 p.m.

at that point.

Those kids have been there all day and they were letting kids in like about two kids every hour.

The store was virtually empty with two kids walking around with their parents.

It was insane.

And then so to make it up to my nephew, I bought Detective Pikachu on Blu-ray, went back home and watched it.

That's how it should be seen.

And now it's in my flat.

I like that you went full quality.

Yeah,

I'm going to go DVD and jip him.

He's been disappointed.

And Joe, what?

It's a good film.

I loved it.

I've still got it in my flat now.

And I'm not going to put it past me watching it without him one day.

How are the special features?

Oh, yeah, I haven't even got food.

Pikachu does an amazing commentary.

Yeah, I'm going to save those.

I'm saving those for the next time I disappoint him.

I always pull the special features out.

Here's a little solution to your problem here, right?

Because you just mentioned two different restaurants.

You're not sure, but you said that you'd like to try new things.

How about this?

You go to the restaurant in Japan, they pull out the enchilada from Charlie's back door, they dip it in the tampu.

Oh, my God.

And they give it to you.

Have I just solved it?

How about it?

I mean, you nearly did, but you used the phrase, they pull out the enchilada from Charlie's back door.

That really spoiled it for for me.

That doesn't sound great.

That looks like where it came from.

I mean, that's

necessarily true.

Although, half of Charlie's back door was the experience of being in that dark, sad bar.

I mean, it was really a fantastic dive bar.

Okay.

We're taking that chef.

We're putting him in the dive bar.

Now we're talking.

He's got it all set up.

He's got no idea what's going on.

He's like, I can't believe I've come.

Now I'm working here.

This is quite the demotion.

I mean, a strip mall in Albuquerque.

And he dips it in the back.

He's on Google Translate going, Charlie?

Oh my god.

What does this mean?

Oh man.

I mean, is that, are you tempted to have that as your dream main course?

Oh, I'm in.

Yeah, the Enchilada dipped in the batter.

I guess this is the beauty of having a genie is that

I can put those two places together for you.

God.

And now you're in that place with that chef.

Yes.

I'm delighted.

Tempura Enchilada.

I want movies like this, too.

I want to just be able to pull characters from my favorite favorite movies and then throw them.

Oh, can I have like a Marvel universe, except it's all Alexander Payne films?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

You could have Jack Nicholson's character, like, you know, have their car crash with the guys from sideways.

Oh, movies RV, just plowing into them when they're drunk, driving.

Yes, yes, yes.

If you could do that with your movies and take one of the characters from your movies and put it in another movie you've done, what would you be most tempted?

I would have Juno drag the audience to go see some of my movies that no one else saw.

Perfect.

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Your side dish.

Ooh, okay.

City Bakery in New York has a thing called the pretzel croissant.

I'm not sure if this counts as a bread, but

you can have it on the side.

Absolutely.

I appreciate it.

This is...

It is exactly as I described it.

It is a croissant that is then crispy and has sesame seeds on it, and

it's a pretzel croissant.

It's delicious.

It's amazing.

So is it made with, still made of like the same pastry that croissants are made of, or is it like...

It's more croissant than pretzel.

But they treated a croissant like a pretzel?

Kind of.

I think they just call it a pretzel croissant because it's salty.

Yes.

Yeah.

But it's fantastic.

And there was a brief moment where they had it in Los Angeles.

And then they closed the city bakery here.

And now I have to get to New York if I want to have one.

Do you have anything in this?

Do you put like butter in there?

No, I mean, some might.

I'm good as is.

But I think that's how I would be about most things like that.

That's how I'd want a traditional croissant.

Sure.

There's a lot of butter in a croissant anyway.

They're buttery.

Yeah.

Is this a particularly buttery croissant as it is?

No, it's drier.

It's a bit dryer.

It's dry.

It just crumbles in your hand, and it's salty, and it's delicious.

How much flakes do you get when you've eaten one of these things?

You're flaked up, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, you could almost create another pretzel croissant from what you find in the diet.

Oh, I love it, and also, it's a pretzel croissant, it would go very well with your mashup of the tempura enchilada as well.

Yeah, oh, I like where this is going.

When you listen to girl talk and meet you, or franken foods, yeah.

Have you seen franken food?

A TV series?

You just made that up.

Me too?

Oh, you didn't know about it?

Oh, yeah.

The short-lived TV series called Franken Foods.

I watched it about five years ago now.

I really got into it.

I think they only ever made like six episodes.

And it was one of those ones where there's some judges, a panel of judges, three people who are involved in food in some way, and then just members of the public coming out in front of them and saying a food that they'd invented by taking one dish and smashing it together with another dish.

And some of them delicious, some of them literally, it's the only show I've seen where the judges have a sick bucket, but in case, like, they could puke in this bucket.

Hang on, sometimes that's a really disgusting thing.

Would they bring the food or would they just describe it?

They bring it.

Oh, right.

I was just, I thought you meant they just describe it as it's so horrible that someone has to do it.

No, no, no, no, no.

I can't even think of them.

Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't it be great if American Idol had a sick bucket?

Does this mean I'm through or not?

This has been my dream for someone.

Please listen.

You're doing this for my mother.

So franken food is a common aspect to American ballparks.

If you go see a baseball game,

you are going to try franken food.

That's just a common thing.

It's a way to get people.

And recently, Major League Baseball had an event where they took the best item from every Major League ballpark and they had a kind of food coachella where you could go down and if you bought a ticket to this event and waited in line, you could then go from stand to stand and try each great item from every American ballpark

yeah there was one that was a a hot dog wrapped in a pickle then deep-fried like a corn dog and then mustard sprayed on it yes yeah that was my favorite yeah like it's a state fair thing as well like fairs have mad fair absolutely right absolutely i mean the the the one that i've never tried i've only heard about this one ballpark where they took a hamburger, removed the bun, then replaced the bun with a sliced glazed doughnut,

and then deep fry the whole thing.

Wow.

I mean, we've heard about the doughnut burgers, but not the deep-frying.

Not the deep-frying, taking it to that extreme.

Do you know what?

I like the sound of that pickle with a hot dog so much that I'm prepared to throw it in as a bonus dish.

Are you?

Whoa.

That's how much I like it.

I've never done this before.

I think it's called a dilly dog.

Ed?

Yeah.

If you were on on the fence, I think you're.

I think you've hopped over into the garden.

I know that it being called a dilly dog appeals to you.

It is called a dilly dog.

Because it's in a dill.

Yeah.

Oh, I love a dilly dog.

I would order dilly dogs all the time, even if I didn't like them.

So that's deep-fried as well, right?

Yeah, I think you either have to go to Dallas or Houston for it, but that's on the way home.

Oh, you've got to go to Dally for a dilly dog.

Yeah.

Don't dilly dally on the way.

Go to Dally for your dilly dog.

Don't dilly dally to dally for your dilly dog.

There's one guy on Frankenfood, one contestant, who I've never forgotten, who was a, he was a guy probably in his like late 50s with his round spectacles, a little goatee beard that was like quite pointy at the end.

And he had invented, it was just a cheesecake full of all of his leftover Halloween candy.

And he was wired.

He was this guy who was just so kind of like, just spoke so fast, eyes just completely popping out of his head, and speaking to the judges who were like, We've got to get this guy out of here as soon as possible.

And obviously, they all said predictably, oh, weirdly enough, it's too sweet.

What you've just given us, it's absolutely insane.

You know, one day you're going to be looking in the mirror and you're going to realize that guy was you.

Yeah,

it was me.

I travelled back in time and I became that guy.

I bet that guy's got a golden spoon at home.

Oh, yeah.

I bet he's eating it.

And you don't want to use it.

No, no, you wouldn't.

That's what it goes to where.

Is Halloween candy the same in England as it is in the US?

Halloween's sort of less of a thing, I'd say.

And the candy is different just in England in general to here.

So, like, yeah, I'd say it's pretty different.

And we don't have like special Halloween candy either.

It's like for Halloween.

Whereas that's more of a thing here, right?

Oh, no, you can get bags of Halloween candy here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We can sort of do that.

Sometimes we have stuff that's like shaped like a pumpkin or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it tends to be American, like, the Reese's do the pumpkin-shaped ones, but then it's it's still American like you know candy in the future.

We take some of our holidays very seriously here.

Uh-huh.

I like that, especially with Halloween, because it's just so such a dumb holiday.

It doesn't really mean anything.

I don't like the fact you've just gone all into it.

You don't believe in the cultural history of Halloween?

No, sorry.

My fiancé loves Halloween and I think is trying to push a big American sort of Halloween thing in our house.

Right.

Can't you go door to door, for instance?

Yeah, you can, but it's if I'm in Hayon Y.

You could go door to door, but if trick or treaty, but they will just give you a bowl of mutton stew.

Yeah, that's what you're getting as a trickle treaty.

And a book.

Yeah, exactly.

They serve the mutton stew in a book.

You've got to just sort of lick it out of the book.

You have to see what the book is at the end to find out.

That's your real treat is if it's a good book.

Sometimes it's a bad book, and you know you've been tricked.

My fiancé will do things like go on Amazon and buy pumpkin-shaped peep marshmallows, but they have to import them from the US, so they end up costing like £25.

And And then they'll just sit there and she'll never eat them because they've got nice faces.

And then we'll just have to throw them away six months later.

Yep.

Happy Halloween.

It's not going to last.

Sort of James's catchphrases on this podcast.

Yep, it's a little running joke.

I see why you guys like each other so much.

Ed's relationship.

Like, I don't believe in it at all.

Is it because you're worried that she's going to steal him away from you?

Is it that obvious?

Is it that obvious that that's how I feel?

Of course I feel like that.

Even though I came along second.

Yeah.

I still feel like she's going to steal you off me.

If I said to her, James is worried that you're going to steal me away from him, she'd say, just go to him.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Just leave it.

By the way, clever.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, she knows we've both been miserable with this.

That's the way to play it.

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

So, your favorite drink?

Oh, a favorite drink?

Okay.

There is a restaurant in Calgary.

I just shot a film in Calgary.

And And Calgary is an amazing food town.

Really?

Yes.

And I say it that way because people are always surprised when I say it.

This is not an insult against Calgary.

I think if you think of Canadian cities, you presumably first think of Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver.

Calgary is gorgeous and has amazing restaurants.

I went to an Indian tapas restaurant there that was just mind-blowingly good.

And one of the best Japanese meals I've ever had in my life was in Calgary, Alberta, at a place called Shokunen.

And they have a drink there.

It's a smoky old fashion where they put an old fashion inside a glass sphere and then they somehow inject smoke

into the glass sphere and then they roll the beverage around inside the sphere

so that the old fashion soaks up the smoke and then they pour it out into your glass and the smoke overflows.

There's an experience to it.

Oh, yeah.

As a genie, you dig that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm smoking all the time.

Yeah.

And it's delicious.

It's the best old fashioned I've ever had.

I like the theatre involved in that.

Yeah.

And also actually tastes good.

There is, okay, there's a place in London that...

Do you know the place of a rest?

Yeah.

That does those burgers.

Yeah.

And they think this is a great idea.

It's awful.

They put the burger under a bell jar and then they pump smoke into it.

The burger and fries are under the bell jar.

They pump smoke into it and then they like take it off and it just doesn't it's awful it's such an awful idea none of it absorbs the flavor it doesn't taste like smoke all that happens is they bring it along and

you'll put your coverage smoke and then you eat it and go yeah but the smoke taste doesn't end this yeah there's none of it's actually do they say something as they remove the bell jar yeah they go gotcha

speaking of theater and restaurants have you heard of a restaurant i think it's still around i'm not sure called ninja in new york oh someone mentioned this but yeah, we've not been.

Yeah, but yeah, so this is a restaurant in New York where

you are meant to believe that you are in some sort of dark Japanese forest, maybe you know, hiding near a fortress.

And as you enter and move through the restaurant, ninjas jump out from behind walls and scare the shit out of you.

I brought my daughter there, and the first ninja just jumped out at us and she just started crying.

And then we got the new experience, which was ninja's feeling bad

and just kind of taking us to our table and reassuring her that it was all going to be okay.

Taking the mask off and being like, No, it's fine, it's fine.

Ninja's feeling bad is like, I would watch videos of that for ages.

Yeah, ninja feeling bad.

Ninja's feeling bad.

Oh, I'm sorry, little girl.

You're okay.

Please don't cry.

Please, my boss is coming along in a minute.

Oh, please.

Oh, I bought you Detective Pikachu on DVD.

How's that?

We can watch it together.

So, the old-fashioned is one of my favorite cocktails.

Oh, yeah.

So, already I'm sold on that, even if you just said old-fashioned.

Yeah, and the smoke, of course, lends itself to whiskey, so it's the perfect combination.

And because they can swirl the beverage inside the sphere, it does take on the smoke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's very effective.

That sounds absolutely delicious.

Well, that's teeth us up nicely for your dessert now.

Always my favourite course.

Yes.

But I don't know if that's been apparent throughout the episode.

I'm going to throw you for a curveball.

Oh, yes.

That worries James.

It really worries me, Jason.

Is that because it's like a baseball reference?

You don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't understand it.

But B, I'm a big puddings guy.

If you're about to choose something savory, I am going to go ballistic.

I'm throwing you for a curveball because it's my grandmother who used to serve it all the time.

Oh.

okay, I'm a lack.

It's home cooked, okay.

No.

Is it revenge?

But she would hand it to me, so I associate it with her.

Okay, right, okay.

And it's a Hungarian pastry called kuglof,

and I have found it nowhere else but in Toronto where my family is from.

But it is Hungarian and it is a like a cake, but the bread part of the cake tastes like bread.

It doesn't taste like cake.

And it is marblized on the inside, and the chocolate inside is the richest chocolate I've ever had in my life.

It's so rich,

if you put it between your thumb and your fingers and you rubbed them together, it would almost be granular.

I don't know why.

And it is phenomenal.

It's delicious and it's not savory, but the bread is bread.

That's great.

I love this.

It marries the two together because what you want, if it's normal bread, is really rich chocolate for dessert.

So those two complement.

The chocolate's doing the heavy lifting sugar-wise.

Yes.

And the bread's just accommodating the chocolate.

Yeah, and there is a bit of a surprise, though, when you cut it open, if you get a slice, so if the whole family is there, because of how it's made, it's not a perfect dish.

All the chocolate could be on one side of the cookbook.

So you may get a bread-heavy piece, you may get a chocolate-heavy piece.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

There's a bit of a roll of the dice in there, too.

Are they going to have dumplings?

Are they not?

Kind of thing.

Everything is tying up here.

Yeah, yeah, everything.

You want to always go in with a bit of uncertainty.

You don't know if you're going to get, you want to feel lucky at the end of this meal.

Well, if you think about my movies, my movies are really designed around one moment at the end that's supposed to punch the audience in the solar plexus and kick them out of the audience, and then just kind of pleasantries all the way up to that moment.

Right, yeah, sure.

That's how I'm designed.

Bread, bread, bread, bread, bread.

Chocolate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I think of it as chocolate's already chocolate.

Bread, goodbye.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so when you were eating bread with that dessert, you were like, oh, it kind of feels like I've just decided finally to commit to a woman and gone to her house, and she's actually got a family.

That's exactly it.

That's up in the air.

Yeah, no, I know Jason.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know my movies.

For a minute, I thought Jason didn't realize what you were doing.

Yeah, yeah.

You're like, I didn't direct that.

That's a family brothers film.

That's my cooler director.

So for this meal, would you like, would it make it better if for the dessert,

other people are there and you've got the perfect balance of chocolate and bread and they've all got ones that you would rather, you can see they're all eating ones.

You're like, I'm glad I didn't have that piece.

Oh, of course.

Yeah, you've got to win the dessert, right?

Yes.

I mean, that's part of it.

Oh, no.

That's the one you got?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's good.

And with the dumplings, would you rather, you're eating the dumplings and other people are turning up and the ladies are like,

I was the last one in line.

Yeah.

So if you had only been here,

you didn't get a parking spot.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, is this dessert...

What temperature is this at?

Is this hot?

Great question.

I would normally get it room temperature, but I have reheated it.

Okay.

Good either way.

It could either way.

Not cold.

You wouldn't want it cold.

Right.

So, honestly.

I'm trying to imagine, is it like babka?

Is it sort of that kind of thing?

It is, but it isn't.

So this is what happens.

If you go into a Jewish deli or Jewish bakery and you said, I want kugloff, they will say, oh, we have babka.

And that's kind of like the moment where you're like, I'd love to have a Coke.

And they're like, we have Pepsi.

Right, okay.

Just slightly off.

Yeah.

And I don't know.

Maybe that's the feeling I've been chasing my whole life.

The idea that there is something that I had at home and nothing quite like it

really matches any.

I'm starting to understand home-cooked food.

I think this is just

hitting me, and you search everywhere, and no.

I get it.

You get it.

It suddenly is it's you understand home-cooked food at the end.

I'm going to read your order back to you.

You need to tell me how you feel about it.

You would like sparkling water.

You would like poppadoms, which you've never tried before.

Can't wait.

Starter, you would like the spicy dumplings from White Bear in New York.

Main course, you would like Charlie's backdoor enchilada dipped in Macawa Tempura batter and laid before you.

Side of pretzel croissants from City Bakery in New York.

Bonus dish, a deli dog.

I mean, we can set the pretzel croissant aside, I think.

I think we're going deli dog.

I'm definitely going deli dog.

Drink, smoky old-fashioned from Shikunin in

Chokinin in Calgary.

And dessert, Hungarian pastry kugeloff presented to you by your grandmother.

Oh, nice, mama.

Feels good?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, lovely.

That is a great meal.

I'd like to try it.

I love hearing it back.

Breadier than I remembered.

Oh, yeah.

Good choice going pop-a-doms early on.

Yeah, but then just like surging headfirst into bread.

I'm glad that

I lived up to your expectations as someone who does eat bread.

Which in Los Angeles,

not a lot of people eat bread here.

I'm one of the rare ones.

Yeah, we're kind of like, you know, we're almost like drug dealers here.

Yeah.

Pushing bread on people.

Like, these guys,

don't fall in with those guys.

It's like the wrong crowd.

There's one bakery in Los Angeles and he does one loaf a day.

When it's gone, it's gone.

And it's quite often not gone.

He's listening at the end.

That guy's really sad.

He's like, oh, pack up my loaf and back tomorrow.

It's the same loaf as it's always been for a year.

Steadily the same loaf.

Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Jason.

It's been a pleasure.

I love your decor.

Well, well, well, there we have it.

The off-menu menu of Jason Reitman.

Very exciting menu, very exciting guest.

Absolutely.

And crucially, he did not say the secret ingredient musely.

No, thank you, Jason.

Thank you, Jason.

Thank you so much.

Who are you going to call Charlie's Back Door?

Yeah.

That was a little Ghostbusters reference.

That was very good.

Because Jason's directed the new Ghostbusters film.

I'm sure you're all excited about it anyway.

No, man, I think we're going to be bringing people over to the course.

In case anyone's on the fence about seeing Ghostbusters, we'd like to push you over into the garden.

You want to watch it.

Yeah, you want to watch it.

You love it.

Oh, and it's not the first one either.

You should go back and watch the others.

You should go back and watch all the others.

I've enjoyed every single

Ghostbusters film.

Just making me laugh that we're plugging Ghostbusters.

It's really funny.

Yeah.

Just telling people, oh, I like all the Ghostbusters movies.

You should try them out.

Check out Off Menu Official on Instagram and Twitter as well, and offmenupodcast.co.uk on the internet.

Like and subscribe.

I'm not sure.

I think that's YouTube.

I think you can subscribe to the podcast on like iTunes and stuff.

That'd be good.

It's a five-star review.

I'm just telling them to just like it.

Yeah, like just I hope you like the podcast in your heart.

That's a good message to end on.

We hope you like the podcast in your heart.

We'll see you again sometime soon.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Hello, my name's Rob Orton and I do the Rob Orton Daily Podcast.

The Rob Daily Podcast is a daily podcast that is quite short, some are two minutes long, some are ten minutes long, and they are stories and poems and basically all the thoughts I've ever had that I like enough to want to share with people.

And the Roborton podcast is available on Apple, ACAST, Spotify, all the other places where you normally get your podcasts and on social media it is at Rob Autumn Podcast.

Thank you.

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Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah.

Go on.

You and I are modern boys because the off-menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast.

That's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

They can see...

all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok at Off Menu Podcast on YouTube.

You can watch clips from the podcast, and on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it, and you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes, so you can see every single nuance on our little faces.