Ep 105: Big Zuu

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

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Hello, Ed Gamble here now.

I'm sure you're all jonesing to listen to another episode of Off Menu, but before you do, you have to listen to this from me.

It's a very exciting announcement.

I am going on a national tour in 2022.

The show is called Electric.

I can't wait to show it to you.

I'm very, very excited.

And you, as Off Menu listeners, will get an exclusive pre-sale.

The tour is going on sale generally to the normal general public on Friday at 10 a.m.

But it's Wednesday if you're listening to this when it comes out.

And if you go and sign up to my mailing list on my website, edgamble.co.uk, you will then receive an email tomorrow with an exclusive pre-sale link.

There are limited pre-sale tickets, so get in there quickly.

Tomorrow, you will get that email, but go now and sign up on edgamble.co.uk for exclusive pre-sale tickets to my brand new national 2022 tour, Electric.

For now, enjoy Off Menu.

Please come to my tour.

I love you.

Bye.

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, where we chop in half the fruit of chat and take out the seeds of bad times.

Hello, James.

Hello, Ed.

Ed Gamble there with his intro.

My name is James Acuster.

I'm a genie.

Yes, you are a genie, aren't you?

It doesn't come up very often.

You tend to sort of get rid of it at the beginning where you burst out your lamp and then that's sort of it.

Well, you know, as a genie, you don't want to go on about it too much.

You know, it's...

I'm magicking up their meal, getting it from wherever they want, whatever time, whatever restaurant.

It's up to them if they want to talk about me being a genie.

I don't like to to go on about it, you know.

No, you hide your genie light under a bushel sometimes, and I respect you for it.

Uh, well, James is the genie who can get a dream meal for our guest in the dream restaurant, and we will be asking them, James, a series of questions.

What will we be asking them?

Their favorite ever: starter, main course, side dish, drink, dessert.

I did it in the right order.

Well done, you.

And the special guest in the dream restaurant this week is Big Zoo.

Big Zoo.

Big Zoo.

He is a MC.

He's a DJ.

He is a TV host of the brilliant Big Zoo's Big Eats, which we've both been on.

Yes, it was a joy and a privilege and a pleasure.

Big Zoo talks to you about food memories, all your favourite foods, and then concocts like a new dish from the things that you've told him.

And it's a surprise.

And it's like, it's a new dish.

But it takes you down memory lane when you're eating it.

So it feels familiar.

I had a great time on there.

Ed's been on it a record number of times, right?

Three times, Ed?

Am I wrong?

Well, I did the non-broadcast pilot, then I did series one, and then I did the Christmas special.

So yeah, I've done I've worked with Zoo a lot and I'm very excited to have him on the podcast.

This guy knows his shit.

He does.

And author.

He's got a cookbook coming out.

He's got a cookbook coming out in June called Big Zoo's Big Eats.

And the new series of Big Zoo's Big Eats is out in June as well, which is the one you're on.

So we'll all be tuning in for that one.

Any time I do any of the administ stuff, Benito has a little look on his face that's really surprising.

He goes, oh

I said he's got a cookbook coming out and Benito looked right at the camera like oh look who look who's here look at this guy he was expecting you to say the cookbook yeah I mean I gave all the details about it I suppose oh yeah I I said I said he's got a cookbook coming out so I wouldn't have to say the details because I don't know them you don't know them exactly but I tee it up I think that counts as my me chipping in but he knows what he's talking about is the point so I think this is going to be a good episode James so I hope for the love of God that we don't have to kick him out of the restaurant because he says a secret ingredient that we are going to say now.

Yes, every single week there's a secret ingredient that we say that we don't like.

And if the guest says it, they get kicked out of the restaurant with no dinner.

And this week the secret ingredient is...

Chicory.

Chicory.

Bitter lettuce.

Very bitter.

I'm not sure I've had this, so I'm going along with it.

But I have had bitter lettuce in the past and loved it.

So I might be being a massive hypocrite here.

I don't know.

I look, I've cooked with chicory before.

You'll love this James.

This sums me up.

Many years ago when I was sharing a flat with Nish, I think Nish was out, I got into the habit of for lunch cooking chicken breast and a pan-roasted chicory.

Oh yeah.

Oh delicious.

I did that a lot.

Of course you did.

With your napkin tie found gin.

Yeah.

Didn't have a lot else going on.

So I just thought, hey, I'm going to just cook more chicken.

Sorry, cook more pigeon breast.

Pigeon breast and chicory.

Yeah.

It's nice, actually.

So I don't know why it's a secret ingredient, but yeah, chicory.

I think someone suggested it on Twitter.

We're due another kickout fairly soon, I think.

Sometime in the next couple of series, it would be good to really get turf someone out because it was a long time coming with Jade, and now I've got the taste of blood.

I really want to get someone out those doors.

Also, Daddy needs some new pants.

Have we mentioned the pants on the pod yet?

No, we should probably give context to what I've just said.

We should mention the pants on the pod.

Daddy needs some new pants.

When we recorded with Jade, she had pants pants delivered during the episode.

We kicked her out for hundreds and thousands.

So her friend who made the pants to send to her made us bespoke hundreds and thousands pants.

And they're very comfortable.

They're very comfortable.

I pop them on as it's straight out of the envelope.

I would highly recommend Curious Moon pants.

Well, without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of Big Zoo.

Big Zoo.

Welcome, Big Zoo, to the dream restaurant.

Inside.

Welcome, Big Zoo, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Thank you for having me.

Alakazam.

So polite.

You know, I just, I like to be cute sometimes.

Yeah.

This is what I do.

Can you turn it on and off like a tap?

Do you know specifically when you need to be cute in situations and then when you don't need to be cute?

Yeah,

play with it.

Do you know what I've been practicing a lot?

Yeah, is my fake laugh because I've just had to get really good at that.

And it's just like controlling that is really bad because then you laugh at your friends and they're like, Are you even laughing?

You know, because I could do the proper.

I think you did that when I came on your TV show.

I think I did.

Yeah, I was going to say.

God damn it, it's again

just hearing you say you've been working on your fake laugh because you've had to work on it recently is just like, oh, yeah, pretty sure we've both done your TV show recently.

Yeah.

And you thought I was hilarious on the day.

This is the problem now.

People think that my laugh isn't real because it sounds exactly the same.

Well, that's a good fake laugh then, I suppose.

Neither of you mentioned my new catchphrase at the start.

What's your new catchphrase?

I said Alakazam.

Yeah, but that's not your catchphrase.

I'm a genie.

I started saying magical words at the beginning.

What other magical words do you have?

Well, there's loads of different magical words I could choose from.

Alakazam, I went with this week.

There's stuff like hocus pocus or Abracadabra or Shazam.

What are your favorite ones, Big Zoo, for magicians and wizards to say?

Magicians.

I'm looking back at all my

magical role models that I was growing up watching.

I don't know, man.

What does David Blaine say?

Probably nothing, isn't it?

He just looks in the camera like...

He flipped it.

That's what the genius of him was.

He came along and just went i'm not saying alakazam or none of that stuff oh he didn't say nothing didn't say is he whizzy let's get busy imagine if david blaine said is he whizzy let's get busy is he whizzy let's get busy we need a road man magician yeah that does the magic and when it's done he's like yeah dunno or like bad man

what like he does it he does the trick looks in the camera goes what i love that yeah what's my favorite out of that i think as a magical word for what

doesn't even look at the camera just says it to the he does street magic goes up to people

does the magic for them and then sizes up to them and goes, What?

Like that?

And then they're like, Yeah, that's it.

I just thought it was really mystifying, please.

I thought it was a good trick.

You love food, Big Zoo.

We know that we're in good hands this week because we've got, I mean, food's your life, right?

Or and music.

Yeah, I've definitely cooked for both of you.

How many people on Common Area have cooked for both of you?

Absolutely brilliant point.

Very few, I'd say.

Like Tom Carriage's restaurant, we went, but he wasn't cooking.

Yeah, and that was after we, you know, we'd interviewed as well.

Oh, Lou Sanders has cooked for both of us.

Oh, yes.

She cooked me an absolutely terrible vegan pizza.

Yes.

She also cooked me similarly again a vegan pizza.

Absolutely awful.

And so bad it made me laugh.

And not a fake laugh like you do, like real laugh.

I was really laughing at how bad it was.

So yes.

So you're definitely the only person who's cooked us nice foods though.

Yes, that's a better thing to hold anyway.

Obviously, we work with the producers and we work with the people that come on the show to kind of like gear things towards what people like eating.

And a lot of the recipes are kind of like a combination of what you guys love with my stupidness of cooking.

Out of all of the guests you've had on your show, do you have a favorite dish that you've cooked one of them where you've thought this is also something that I'm really into?

Great question.

Okay, it's from season two.

I'm probably not allowed to give too much away, but because you are absolute geez, I don't care.

Forget the rules.

We're cooking for a lovely comedian, a female comedian, to give you a hint.

I think that's enough.

We made a laksa, yeah, a Malaysian laksa, which I've never had before.

Where I'm from where we grew up, we were just used to like our greasy Chinese takeaway.

Do you know what I mean?

We never explored like Vietnamese dishes and things from Thailand and things from Malaysia and these kind of things, you know.

We never was really exposed to it.

So when we made a laksa, it was the first time I ever made it.

And it had fish balls and fried tofu and chicken.

And we put two types of

noodles in it.

We put the egg noodles and the flat noodles.

Oh, it was crazy.

Like just everything, the way we made it.

It's, I genuinely made it in a van.

I tasted it and I couldn't believe how good it was.

I went home the next day.

I'm like, I have to order a Laxa.

Ordered a Laxar.

Then the next day, we filmed again.

So I ate a Laxa again.

And then after that, I took the bag home of the seasoning.

Like, you have to make a paste to make the lack of soup.

And I just took that home and just kept eating Laxa.

And now you hate Laxa, right?

I mean, I'm a bit bored of it now.

Too much Laxa.

We always start the podcast with still or sparkling water, big zoo.

I'm definitely still.

I definitely used to hate sparkling, but now I can appreciate the goodness behind it.

But nah, still the way.

You know what I like?

I like the Turkish water in the boss man shop.

You know the one in the shop that's looking like it's not one of the big boys, not Volvik, it's not Evian, not all them lot.

Yeah.

And there you go.

You just know the pH level.

It's just there.

So is that based on taste?

You know, that the random water from the Turkish shop, is that based on taste or is that like, because you know you're drinking like underground water?

You're not drinking the same water as everyone else.

You're not drinking that mainstream.

You're not drinking from the mainstream.

I'm basically a hipster, ain't it?

Hipster of water.

Nah, it is.

It's more time.

I can't lie.

I do love a Volvic, yeah.

But more time for the people than for the, it's just the pH.

I don't know what it is.

It just tastes cleaner.

I don't know what it is.

I think the big boys, they just got like, people tell me everyone has like the best pH balance, whatever, all that stuff.

But I think the Turkish boss man water, if you don't know what I'm talking about, trust.

Oh, Nestle.

Nestle got a big boy water.

That's what I got right here, but I took off the tank.

But this one, see, the bottle is shaped like this.

It's very flimsy.

Yeah, that's the goat water.

You would like Turkish bossman water, though.

Yeah.

That's what you would like.

I like that you went from sort of like an obscure Turkish boss man water, the one where you don't really know what the name is, either that or Nestle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but you know what?

They're not really that known for water, innit?

Let's be real.

They're not that big in the water game.

So, like, that's what I kind of still kind of respect them more than

you know, I'm saying Volvet, Ivyan, X, Y, Z, like, all of that.

Like, it's like saying you don't like Keanu Reeves' films, you just like his grunge band.

Yeah.

The thing is with Nestle Water, I've seen Nestle Water on the shelves before, and I've just thought, no, I can't even imagine it.

Because I'd look at it and go,

it just seems like it would be creamy.

You look at it and go, that's not going to be proper water.

That's going to taste like a Kit Kat.

Yeah, weaved, creamy,

like nestle i don't want that

i'd much rather have turkish boss man water than nestle water listen yeah after turkish boss man water it's definitely the nestle water then we go volvik yeah nestle water over vovik every day trust me

how do you get into nestle water how did you cross that uh barrier in your mind of thinking this is going to taste like a yorkie at boom so my friend is loves water doesn't drink other things he only drinks like a sprite once in a while is Is that Tubsy?

No, not Tubsy, Heider.

I'm saying my friend, but you know them.

You know them.

I don't know what's going on.

Any of our listeners haven't seen uh Big Zoo's Big Eats before?

Yes, Big Zoo's joined by his friend Tubbsy and Haider.

Yes, that I went to secondary school with my little mates.

Heider is a big complainer, yeah.

And his family installed a tap that's a purified tap.

So, you know, it's like some people just have like tap water, some people like put the tap water in the fridge, some people have like a Brita filter, you know, with the jug.

This guy installed a tap just for filtered water, like in the house.

I don't know how much it costs, but it's like a fountain of heaven.

You go to the house, and I swear down, I go to the house with empty bottles just to get their water because it's like the perfect pH.

But obviously, the guy that sold it to them spun their brain, gave them like a lot of pH testers to like show them other water is basically shit.

Yeah,

so he would like make us go to the house, drink his water, test the pH, then drink like a Volvik, a Ivian, then a Nestle, and be like, see, see, what, see, see, what, see, I'm just talking about that.

And then he was basically trying to get us all to install these water things.

I felt like he's getting a commission or something because it's all he was talking about for like a year.

He's just telling us how his life's changing.

Didn't the first time you went round Heider's house when you were younger?

Uh, he answered the door and pretended to be his own twin brother and told you to get lost.

That wasn't to me.

That was to one of the madmen.

I think that was to Arvin.

I think he he did that to Tumzi.

This is what I was talking about the other day, because talking about stupid things we did in school.

Like, I told my whole year from year seven to year 11 that I was allergic to tipx.

So

that's it.

Because one day someone was using it.

I was so annoyed.

I'm like, you made a mistake.

Like, get over it.

Like, please.

I can actually scribble it out.

Yeah.

They move on.

I'm seeing people put tipx.

One day I was like, oh, you know, I'm allergic.

Like, this, like, I get, started doing all of that.

Yeah.

And then every class I was in for like five years, you can't use tipx.

You're not allowed to use tipx.

No one was allowed to use tipx because you were in the room, nah.

So, so, like, up and like, it took a while to push, but by like year nine, yeah, it was like a known thing.

Like, unless you were a new pupil in my lesson, like, people will tell you, hey, Zoo's allergic to Tipx.

And in the year 11, year 11, I just said, you know what?

Hey, guys, cats out of the bag.

Hey, I'm not even allergic to Tipx.

I i mean to prove it i used it to prove it i used yeah

painted yourself with it there you go

when you think about it i've never really thought about it before but like it's amazing that tipx has done as well as it has commercially because yeah rubbish yeah really rubbish it's not like you use it and then it looks like a new sheet of paper and no one could know that you've done anything it's a big white splodge that then creates this uneven terrain that you have to write on so that that word that you write over it just looks rubbish compared to everything else you might as well just scribble it put a like neat line through what you've done and then rewrite it ridiculous i've got to say though shout out to the tipx mouse i was a huge do you remember the tipx mouse satisfying no you won't know this zoo because you you probably missed this because they weren't allowed any tipx so you missed the invention of the tipx mouse yeah that's the one that i know what you're talking about because i used to that's how i used to get extra angry

that's like the ultimate one yeah you put the mouse's nose on the word and then you drag it along and it's like a little bit of white tape.

Way smoother.

I like the Tipex mouse.

Smoother, more satisfying to use, cuter because it was a little mouse.

Yeah.

You didn't have to get the brush out and paint your coursework or whatever you were doing.

Yeah.

Much preferred the mouse.

How did we get on to Tipex?

Pop and absorb bread.

Pop and observe bread, big zoo.

Ah, pop it ups or bread.

It's a bread thing, man.

I never appreciated the poppadum because I only like mango chutney.

When all the sauces come out, I'm sorry, man.

I just feel like it's not the time.

And I've had an array.

I've had, I've had the poppadom with the sauce arrangement many a time.

Yeah.

I just, it's just, I just want, I just want tandoori lamb chops and like the meat.

My mum's West African, so growing up with her, we just eat a lot of assorted meat.

Like, that's why, and it's funny because, like, Asian culture is like very synonymous with African culture because a lot of my family grew up watching like Bollywood and stuff because that's what they had access to, like Bollywood DVD.

So they, they could all like speak a little bit of Punjab.

And it's crazy.

Like, it's a weird connection.

And the cooking is very similar.

It's about like streaming and cooking down with onions.

So, like, the food's synonymous.

And

like, I couldn't believe it when I unlocked that there's vegetarian, like, Indian restaurants and stuff.

I didn't understand that.

I was like, why would you do that?

Why would you take away the essence?

But now I'm starting to appreciate life and start to appreciate things like Pompadon's.

But I'm sorry, bread is too amazing, bruv.

Have you gone to France?

Yes.

You've gone to France?

Yes, been to France.

Yes.

We had a baguette in France.

Yes.

Ed has talked about this on the podcast, how much he loves.

He used to visit his now fiancé, then girlfriend, in Paris.

Yes.

And he would go down and go to the bakery around the corner and then on the way back to the flat, eat at the top of the baguette out the bag.

That's why they leave it hanging out the end of the bag, right?

So you've got to nibble the top.

If they wanted you to not nibble the top, they'd put it in a bag that covered the end.

I've never thought of that before.

My mind is spun.

My mind is spun.

I'm going to start saying that to people like, I invented that.

I said, Um, and it's funny, it's because

my ex, who was my gal for a long time, was French as well.

She was half French.

So I kind of got to see that side to their culture.

Like, I remember telling me, Eat some bread, don't put no butter, though.

I'm like, What are you talking about no butter?

You want me to just eat the bread?

There's not even hummus.

There's not even hummus or satin just to give an olive oil because

i remember just biting i was like why is it so just amazing that it was just yeah and then like like even just bread going on to iran and iraq and obviously i'm middle eastern as well like pit of bread i'm sorry poppadom you can't talk to a good pit of bread man pit of bread it just wraps up the wraps like that i was thinking the other day you know like um shawarama like all the them lebanese how much pit of bread do you reckon they've used in their time that That is a lot of pitter bread.

If you think about it, yeah, they're going through a lot, they're going through a lot of wraps.

At what point do you think they stopped counting?

How much they've used?

You know, I would, I, I would, I'm sure there is definitely a meter, like the company that sells that bread, they know they've turned over trillions, trillions of kebabs been created in their name, innit?

You know what I'm saying?

And that's a good feeling.

I might start making bread.

I've got my photo on the wall of a kebab shop.

How?

Bigzu's face there was sort of a mixture of shock, confusion, and then ultimately jealousy.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

At a kebab shop in Edinburgh.

I've actually forgotten the name of it, Ed.

Well, then the photo should come down and it should be replaced with a photo of me because I've always been living that you're on the wall of that.

Yeah.

And you've forgotten the name of it.

I can't believe I've forgotten the name of it.

I know the name of it.

Do you want to have a guess?

Well,

I mean, every time that I'd go to Edinburgh, We'd immediately say it as soon as we got in the flat.

Do you want to go down to...

I can't believe I've forgotten it.

No, he's had a breakdown.

i know it's not mystics no it's not mystics mate but it feels like it's something similar i can't believe this big zoo i'm so sorry this has happened during your episode because

i know that you know there's loads of other stuff we could be talking about and not just me here not being able to remember the name of the i thought you was a witty man

i've had that heckle many times before

you'll be on stage i thought you were witty i was informed you were witty this is awful i paid to see a witty man not someone stood on stage trying to remember the name of a kebab shop yeah if there's anyone uh listening in from palmyra palmyra do pop that photo down i don't want to see that photo

again i go with a large mixed kebab personally because if you're offered chicken or lamb but there's an option where you can get both mixed why aren't you taking the both option i've never understood that i mean it depends i'm lebanese you know i like to always say where i'm from before i confirm food yeah just so i can add that extra insight.

You've got the authority when it comes to grilled meats, clearly.

So why do you mean it depends?

I don't know.

It depends on the donner.

I can't eat donner anymore.

The one that's the solidified one spinny.

That's obviously when you're very waved, they're very giant that can run.

But I can't do it anymore because I love like Shawama's like fillets of lamb that have been layered.

And what it is, is that the chicken, it's hard to get right.

Because when you layer the breast, it's normally they put breast in it.

Normally they layer breast.

And when you layer it up and it's cooking, spinning, there's such a fine line of it being corked, not cooked, juicy, dry.

Whereas the lamb, it's easier to play with because, you know, once you've given it that one chop, all you have to do is kind of get that one sear and you know you can get it down.

Do you know what I mean?

Whereas the chicken, it's like it's not as easy to just sear the outside and it's cooked.

You know what I mean?

So sometimes you might get a place that does better lamb than chicken.

And that's that's why sometimes I don't get it but i do understand what you mean if you could get best of both of us why not in it so are you going for a baguette from france or are you going for a pitter bread on its own or are you going for a full kebab for your pop and um so bread choice what's going on i'm gonna keep it real and go with the baguette as much as i just gassed up the lebanese i love pitter bread so much but pitter bread's only good when it's fresh you know baguette can go far can go far it can become bread crumbs it could do this it could do that it can there's so many things you could don't get me wrong Like, I love that in Lebanese cuisine, they deep-fry pitter bread and put it into salads.

That's like one of the craziest things in the world.

It's like croutons by Arabic, you know what I'm saying?

But then, I don't know, a baguette, just like the French onion soup, like with that little bit on top with the cheese.

Oh, my days, fam.

Even just like a ban-mi, like a ban me.

I know it's not that specifically just that, it's not like the same as a baguette, it's more of a sub, but it's just so crazy the influence of that bread in a different country and how it's just created like a proper different dish.

I just love the way that you can do so much with that bread, man.

I'm talking about it so much.

Oh my God, I'm actually a fat, fat guy.

I love food.

I remember being in a hotel in Bahrain doing some gigs and

the bar snacks they had there in the bar area was just the deep-fried pit of bread.

um all shredded up and in a bowl i got addicted to it i got so hooked yeah you know when they just put it out for free but you eat it really quick and you want to ask them for more free bar snacks and you're thinking oh how's this gonna look how many times can i ask for the freebies again before they realize i'm just filling up on all the deep-fried the heavy yeah so i love it so much yeah so do you want anything with this baguette or do you want like a baguette that's so good that you don't need anything with it that's what i need warm buttery or just maybe a coffee maybe a coffee oh yeah but you know what i love on the baguette you know what i love if if we're just talking simple some apricot jam and some some lerpak can't go wrong it's an interesting way to kick off a meal

uh a baguette with apricot jam and lerpak on it but i'm i respect it little coffee on the side but you know it's it's about it's about the influence and the the heart yeah if you cut a baguette in half pull it on on the toaster put some butter put some jam on it i'm telling you it's a spiritual journey from the top of the bite to the bottom because you have that crispy topness then you have that spongy kind of of breadiness and then you have that bass it's so many textures in one little thing and it's just like it's it's crazy how something so simple can be so nice when it's done so well it's like that i think that's why i love italian food a lot as well because it's just it's that same kind of principle you know you mentioned lerpak the little lerpak man who has the trombone and plays all the songs on the advert yeah do you want him at the meal and do you and what song do you want him to be playing on his trombone while you eat

he can definitely come through.

You know, the

that one.

Now, there's a tragic element to this, James, because you've got the Lerpak man playing a song on his trombone whilst he watched his big zoo eat what I'm presuming is the mashed up corpse of his relatives.

Yes, but that's always the case on all those adverts.

He's just there, he's often on a tabletop where someone's just spread some Lerpak over a scon or something, and he's playing his trombone trombone and he gets flicked over or falls over or something.

They're not very nice to him.

No, they're not.

They steal his trombone a lot of the time.

They take it away from him so he can't play it.

He's like, come on, you're eating my family.

At least let me play my trombone.

You know what I'm making?

Lurpak sound very cute.

Lurpak is not cute.

Lerpak adverts are like, do you not see the adverts when you're in a cinema and it's like they're like frying a tomato, like tomato.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

And it's like, epic bread, peas, some fish.

That's like they've tried to change it and make it become epic.

Like, this is the this is why we're charging you three pounds.

You know, that's what they're trying to do.

Do you want Lerpak spreadable or do you want like the hard block?

You have to have both.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but they're not the same thing.

I used to use the spreadable to cook my eggs.

And then my ex is French.

She's like,

what are you doing?

I'm like, bro, it's butterfam.

Like, it's the same butter.

It's like, no, it's not the same butter.

I'm like, it's the same butter, fam.

So I don't melt the same.

It's not the same.

It's not made from the same thing.

I'm like, who actually cares?

Like, if I'm cooking some onions late night in my house, am I really going to be like, oh, need to go buy some salty butter?

Because there's not any left, but there's some Lurpak there.

Still can't use it.

No, that's the person I am now.

I actually will go buy the salted butter because that hardness chop it into the it's different, man.

That spreadable one, it's not made for that.

It's not made for cooking, it's made for spreading.

I'm interested, you mentioned if you're cooking some onions late in your house,

How late would you be cooking onions and what would they be for?

Okay, I've changed my diet a bit.

Yeah, I've been trying to lose weight and be healthy.

So basically, instead of ordering food late night, I'll always like be like, come with me cook, come, we cook, come, cook.

And the easiest thing to cook is like a tomato sauce or maybe cook some wings with some onions or whatever.

Do you know what I mean?

And onions is always a starter that.

So that's why, like, before COVID, years ago, let's say we're like in a house house party or something and they're like people like let's order some pizza i'm like no let's cook you know people order food and when it's shit they're like oh this is so shit man like when you knew it was gonna be shit if you knew you ordered food at 2 a.m it's gonna be shit but if i a little bit waved give it a try at the same time i guarantee you're not gonna complain you're actually gonna feel happy i made my first pizza the other day Did you?

What's on the pizza?

What was on it?

Obviously tomato sauce, cheddar cheese, little little bacon bits, cut up pepper.

What are you looking at?

Which sounds rubbish.

I don't know.

Bacon on a pizza is shit, anyway.

You said cheddar.

For a start,

cheddar, bacon bits.

What?

Pepper?

What are you talking about?

Use cheddar.

Cheddar and bacon.

What?

What are you talking about?

He's not respecting your pizza, guys.

He's not really in your pizza.

He's really disrespecting it, actually.

Why are you using cheddar?

Cheese on toast.

My mum told me to get it.

I'm doing my cook along with my mum and she tells me the ingredients and i'll go out and get them very authentic then if it came from non-arecaster yes that is her name and

it was a scon based pizza as well

it tasted good man i don't know why you're laughing so much it's not pizza you've made a cheese scon

may have been a cheese scone What do you mean it was a scon-based pizza?

Well, that's what she told me.

She's had this recipe for ages.

I've had it my whole life.

Have you?

That's one she used to do at home.

I'm sorry for disrespecting your memories, James, but it's not a pizza, mate.

Well, I made it real nice.

How did you make it?

Made the scone base, rolled it out, put it in

the tray.

Yeah.

Then covered that with the passata.

Brushed that over, put the cheese over, then put all the toppings over.

I'll put anchovies on mine as well on my half.

More cheese on the top, more cheddar cheese.

Put it in the oven, bought it out, and I ate my scon base pizza.

I was very proud of myself.

I thought it's gonna be great.

I'm gonna impress Bring Zoo when I tell him this.

I didn't know I was gonna get such an absolute dressing down.

I mean, you know, I respect your pizza baking, you know, like better.

Like, it's not sounding very.

I don't know what's a sconbased pizza.

Yeah, I'm still in the dark about a scon-based pizza as well.

Like in Napoli, like you use the stone that you put in the oven to make the base cook.

No, no, no, no, you don't need that for scum-based.

You just uh, you just, it's uh, what was in the scon-based butter, self-raised and flour, scon scone it was a scon baking powder cheese

a little bit of salt and I rolled that all up together and then rolled it out with my rolling pin no yeast nothing it's a scon base pizza

so you made a big scon and you put cheese and tomato and bacon on top of it guilty your honour zoo i made a lasagna the other day uh first thing you do is you put um blueberry muffins in the bottom of the tray

and then you pour over the tomato and then you put the bacon in and the cheddar cheese uh and then uh and you put loads of Twix bars on the tops.

Delicious.

Prople lasagna.

Well, I mean, you know, you've made yourself look stupid there because clearly I would love to eat that.

So it's not like...

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You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

We come to your starter, Big Sue.

This one was hard.

Obviously, there's so many starters that man love.

Man, I consider Buffalo Wings as a starter.

I don't know who does.

Some people don't.

I think that's one of the greatest.

Like Buffalo Wings with the...

with the celery, the ranch.

But if I'm sitting there and I need something that's going to make me feel happy, it has to be, it's going to sound so dead, but it's mozzarella and tomato

with a little bit of a little bit of a drizzle.

Yes.

Now, I know it sounds dead, it sounds super dead, but buffalo mozzarella, proper buffalo mozzarella with fresh tomatoes and a little olive oil, bit of salt, bit of pepper.

I had it in Italy and my brain was like, this is crazy.

This is, why is this so nice?

Obviously, I've had great starters, different things.

I do love my little prawny starters, but you know, that for me, that is just so fresh.

It's such, it's not heavy.

You know, I hate having a heavy starter because you're just waiting for that main.

You're like, you know, I'm going to get 14 starters.

And when the main comes, I'll be ready.

And then you eat all these starters and you're not even enjoying your main.

You know,

I don't like doing that because the main is what it's called.

It's called a main, you know.

I like sharing.

I do like sharing.

I'm not a person that's like, I make my starter for me.

This calamari is for I.

Don't touch it.

You got a portobello mushroom little thing.

You eat that.

I'm not like that.

I like to kind of get all the different things, but buffalo mozzarella, I don't know what it is when it's layered.

You know, when it's layered on top, like Tetris.

Oh, my God.

I'll eat that all day.

All day.

That's my starter.

You get some basil on there?

Some basil leaves?

Yes.

Oh, fresh basil, fresh basil, fresh olive oil.

You know what it is?

I've had so many different versions.

I've gone to so many different places, had ones where there's no seasoning, there's no sauce, and then ones where they overdo it.

it and ones like i can't remember where i was in italy but it was simple fresh basil big fat wedges of tomato circles of tomato big massive buffalo mozzarella

the fresh olive oil bit of salt bit of pepper oh man every slice was like oh balsamic yeah a little bit of balsamic as well oh my days i mean it sounds like i'm genuinely hungry that's what i i've you've now taken me there i'm in italy i'm sat there with this incredible mozzarella is it is it a trick tricolore?

Tricolore?

The three-color salad?

Because it's white, red, and green.

It's the colours of the Italian flag, right?

That's why it was invented, or that's why that's on pizza as well.

I don't think I've heard that before, but that makes sense.

So delicious.

Shame to splash some balsamic on it and ruin the color scheme, I think.

Sure, I like that as well, though.

I like the balsamic.

You know, when the balsamic, I like balsamic with it when you put like in a random one, but you put red onion as well with the balsamic.

A little bit of red onion with it.

That's more like, you know, I like doing that.

I like doing that in a salad, more like rather than just the plate.

I never used to like bar salad, I started cooking with it more.

And red onion, mozzarella, tomato, any lettuce

is so good, so so good.

I grew up like my mum used to always make salad, always, always.

That's that's probably why it's one of my favorite things as well.

Because growing up, my mum used to always make salad on the side of our food, and I used to always be like, Yeah, but it's used to force me.

So, like, naturally, now it's just so funny.

All these things that you grow up saying, yeah, that's disgusting.

You get a bit older, and you're like, Oh my god, it's so beautiful!

Like, oh my god, salad

like make me healthy

like if i look back at myself telling myself a mozzarella and tomato will be one of my dream starters well the dream starter if i would tell myself what's wrong with you you stupid guy

nothing's it's not fried it's not fried it's not even a spring roll not even a spring roll come on bruv not even some dim sun what's going on you know but special shout out to buffalo wings yeah you still got a shout out to buffalo wings because what a treat they are when they're done properly you know fried, then they're steamed, and then they did

like Wingstock do it in a good way, but I don't love Wingstock's wings, I like their boneless more.

But they fry it, then they steam it, then they fry it again.

And like, that's that's how you should make at home.

People are going to make it at home.

Like, I know people try to make buffalo wings in so many different ways, whether it's baked or not fried or air-fried, whatever.

But like, if you fry them and then steam them in the oven and then fry them again, it just becomes like

next level, so good, man.

I'd I'd never attempt that at home.

I'd never do any deep frying or anything like that at home.

I'd just be right.

I think my mum might have said something when I was a kid about like, I'm not going to deep fry anything at home because it's really dangerous because she'd seen something on like a soap or something where someone's house had caught on fire.

And I think that's stuck with me.

Like, I don't deep fry at home.

I think I've only done it once.

And that was last year.

I made a chicken parmigiana and deep fried the chicken cutlet.

And oh, I'm so glad I did.

It was phenomenal.

And that's not even a big deep fry.

No.

You know, you don't have to put a lot of oil for that one.

Do you know what it is?

My mum's definitely taught me the

safest way is deep fry stuff in a little pot.

You know, don't go crazy and try to get this massive pan.

Best way, little pot, do it in batches.

That's like it's safer, less dangerous, and it actually comes out better.

You get the seasoning because the oil seasons the pan, and that's what creates flavor.

Because fried chicken is never going to taste really that nice in fresh oil, even though it will, don't get me wrong, but like the best fried chicken comes from oil that's had some chicken being fried in it.

Do you know what I mean?

So, it's about it's that kind of flavor that you get from it being in a pot.

Like, let's say you get it or you've got a batch of wings that you want to make, instead of doing it all in one massive pot, oil everywhere, do a little pot, couple wings, couple wings, couple.

It's longer, but that's cooking, innit?

When we were kids, deep frying stuff and chip pan fires and stuff like that, we were warned about it like it was going to be a threat at every single, like every corner we turned in our entire life.

That must be why I won't do it because that's just stuck with me.

It was a massive thing.

The amount of videos I watched where that was an issue.

And like, I'd watch them and be like, why are people inviting this peril into their homes?

Like, no one's, you know, like, everyone just seems to be getting in their kitchen, filling a pan with oil for no reason, heating it up, then walking into a different area of the house, and then coming back, and their whole house is on fire, and they're running around screaming and going, well, I'm never going to do that.

It's always the curtains.

The curtains go up first as well, if you're trying to get it.

Lace curtains.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Woof.

And then that's it.

So, yeah, I've never dared do anything like that.

Big Zoo's doing it at other people's house parties.

Yeah, he's just doing it.

He's going to be 2 a.m.

I'm about to burn down your whole house.

What's caprese salad?

Is that the same?

That might be the same.

Because I've been calling this salad caprese salad.

I've had it a lot during lockdown.

We've been doing loads of them just like

simple, easy lunch.

Just chop up tomatoes and mozzarella and get all the stuff on it.

And basil.

and i've been calling them caprese salads and if it's a tricola salad or something like that oh man no you're right it is a uh caprese salad so i wonder whether i've got it wrong ah interesting i think i've got it wrong so the three colors in a tricolor salad come from mozzarella tomato and avocado oh but a caprese salad is the tomato mozzarella and basil so it's the combination of the three colours but the green's coming from somewhere else in the tricolor so it would appear that Ed's knowledge of Italian cuisine isn't as good as he once thought.

So making croissant-based pizza is the way to go.

Well, of course, when I make a caprais salad, I use cheddar cheese and Victoria Sponge.

Yep.

Again, bad example.

Sounds delicious.

Now he's gone light on the starter because you said you're saving room for the main course.

Is it going to be something big?

So it's funny because all the things that it could have been is my love for American food.

So I love like these trap boxes that I don't know if you guys seen them before, but it's like these big, massive platters that have like it'll have like macaroni cheese, you'll have like fried chicken, it'll have like ribs, and then it'll have like a random waffle in it.

Like if you literally just go on Google, right, trap kitchen, you'll see all the stuff that they do.

Like they, it's like pretty, it's pretty popular in England and obviously in America, but it's like these big, massive, like moorish Tupperware boxes just full of mad things.

And that's what I definitely love.

I definitely love that.

But I'm going to stick to my roots.

I go back home and I've got to go with Jolof Rice.

Yeah?

The best Jolof Rice.

But Sierra Leone and Jolof Rice, not Nigerian, not Ghanaian.

Here we go.

Gambia, Senegal, the Cordevoir.

You can all go.

It's Sierra Leone.

Zoo, you have added a new dimension to a war that's been raging on the off-menu podcast since the first first series so we had we've had nigerian versus ghanaian uh jollof rice on the podcast already i didn't know there were so many other players in the game and are you saying sierra leone has the the best jollof rice what makes it different the best we make it with love i'm gonna i'm gonna google because i remember the the original jollof is called walloff yeah it was with a it was with a w so senegal made it yeah they made the the the the thing so they technically are the owners so nobody can really talk to them because you know you originated the recipe.

But same way, you know, people can remix things and make them better.

That's life.

I think that Nigeria and Ghana, you know,

they're good contenders, you know, massive countries, big GDP, a lot of economic growth where there's a lot of time spent on working and developing.

Whereas Sierra Leone been through pain, war, we ain't got as much peas.

So we've got more time to focus on food because that's things that make us happy.

And my mum said that to me, and that was a bare random thing that she said to me.

And I was like, you know what?

That's a mad generalization, but I'm running with it.

We ain't got as much of a city, but we've got more chefs.

That's what it makes up for, you know?

Like, you are too busy making dough.

So how can you have such a nice recipe?

It doesn't even make sense.

We have more villages, more chilled people, less workers.

We're obviously going to be better than you're cooking.

That's the idea.

Now, that's number one argument.

Number two argument.

These don't blend.

They blend it.

Where in Africa,

in the ends, have they got a blender?

They ain't got no blender.

So, how's your authentic recipe requiring electricity when real Africa is not electricity?

It's just fire.

It's fire on the pot.

Yeah.

So that's already just depreciated the value of their jollof.

And then

it's about...

One thing about my mom, my mom's dad is the same mix as me.

So my mom's dad is Sierra Leone and Lebanese like me.

So So, my mum was raised with a little bit of a Lebanese temperament.

And the combination of Lebanese cooking with African cooking is something that's very interesting.

It's not something that's always brought to light on, but obviously, I've tried to do my own little influence, but it's basically when the Lebanese moved over to West Africa, obviously, they went over during war and they went over to get a better life and they became part of the society.

It's not something that's always spoken about in history and in like global history, but obviously, African cuisine was kind of like it's built up of times of like tribal times and what was accessible at the time you know like that everyone else's cuisine and in African cuisine there's a lot of things that you eat that are not like typical you know like like cow foot or the sheep belly or like the skin like cow skin they call it cow kanda which is literally just the skin of the cow and then things like dried fish and dried pastes and sesame pastes things like that things that they was using to live off the lebanese came over and they were were like, Yo, listen, we ain't really, we're not

getting involved in all of that dry stuff over there.

We're going to take your recipes and put a little bit of an Arab touch in it.

So, a bit more onions, a bit more garlic, like ingredients that were not commonly used in West Africa were more introduced through cooking through the Lebanese in that sense, because they was more likely to be like, No, let's get some garlic, even though no one's cooking with garlic, so you have to go sauce that now.

Do you know what I'm trying to say?

So, my mum's kind of recipe for a jollof is very filled with garlic, filled with onion, filled with tomatoes, stewed.

The process is so funny because it's actually high-level cooking, but she just looks at it like, oh, we just, this is what we learned.

But it's funny because they boil the meat, and that makes a stock.

They boil the meat, take out the meat, shred it from the bone, deep-fry it, and then add that into the stew.

And then the stew is like it's like onions, tomatoes, bag of seasoning, scotch bonnet, some bay leaf, cooked down for a long time, a lot of tomato paste.

You add this shredded fried meat into there, you add your basmati rice, and then you take that stock and then you use that to add all the water, and then you let it simmer for like two hours, and that's how you get a joel off.

It's very simple, but the cooking processes in it, in terms of the meat being cooked three times, the stew being made over a long time, all these little things, they're like really nice bits of cooking.

You know, people have their different ways, but I think our way is very good.

And I said I'm making a cookbook, the recipe is going to be in the cookbook.

So, if you want the big zoo recipe, it's there.

You get me?

Last time i saw you which was when i did your tv show um you know i knew i was gonna be eating loads of food the night before i'd actually had jollof rice for the very first time and basically i had ordered a takeaway i just didn't know how big the portion was going to be and also that it would just seem to never end like i i felt like it was replenishing itself as i was eating it and it was just never going the level was never going down and i was like i've got to do big zoos big eats tomorrow and i'm absolutely stuffed to the rafters here.

I was so full, it's still the next morning with Jolloff rights, mate.

And what's funny is that your amuse bouche was the biggest amuse bouche we made for anyone.

It was humongous, bro.

It was like, Ed, if you saw it, you would have been a bit jealous.

There was so much food.

And what I didn't tell you on the day was that amuse bouche, I bit into it, and I burnt the roof of my mouth immediately.

And for the rest of the afternoon, I had a burnt mouth when I was eating all the food.

And it was all so delicious, but I was in pain, Big Sue.

This is life.

When life gives you lemons you know you've got to make a lemon cake you know you've got to do something different is there anything specifically about the Sierra Leone Jolof rice that makes it stand apart from all of the others is there an ingredient or a spice or something that you can go that if you were blindfolded could you be like that's Sierra Leonean you know what it is They do normally use the same similar type of seasoning in terms of the bay leaf, scotch bonnet, maggie cube.

These kind of things are like paramount in a jolof.

I think with Salon Jolof, what you'll be able to tell is by the texture of the rice, it's cooked, it's not mushy, it's not undercooked, it's that perfect, like al dente vibes, you know.

And the taste of the tomato, we definitely, because our tomato isn't blended and then stewed, we actually let them cook down until it becomes

a sauce.

And then we use a lot of tomato paste as well.

Whereas other, most countries don't use as much tomato paste as us.

So our jolof is naturally more red.

And what you may

taste is that there might be that odd onion that didn't fully sweat down.

So, you might have a nice little chunk of like some charred-down onion in there.

So, it's like those, those are the little things you'd be able to pick up on.

The process is that it's very like an Italian tomato, so it's just low and slow, let it all come out, and then the rice is soaking up all that flavor, you know?

I'm so hungry.

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Is your side dish also in your cookbook?

This one is definitely a shout out to my ex again.

Because her

family from Al Jews.

I'm cool with her, so it's like, I'm allowed to talk about her influence in my life.

It's not like, oh, I hate you.

Forget all the memories that you gave me in life.

And I think if you're going to talk about your ex, I think it's fine to say, here's some nice food that she introduced me to.

That doesn't feel malicious.

Yeah,

it's not creepy, you know?

No.

If you were like, my side dish is inspired by my ex, it's lies and deceit.

Then we'd be like, Big zoo, that's a little bit whoa, whoa, come raining in.

So, obviously, I'm Muslim, so every Ramadan, I used to spend Ramadan with her family, and her family are like traditionally the Algerian, but they're also French.

And they have the tradition where they make things called boreks.

So, Borek.

Now, Borek, you might have had it from like a Turkish place or a Greek Cypriot place.

There's so many different types of Borek.

A Borek is basically like a spring roll, but it was never until I kind of went to their house and had the authentic Borek, like Algerian Ramadan Ramadan Borek, that I was like, this is unbelievable.

Like, it's it makes spring rolls, like a typical like Chinese spring roll, look so dead.

It makes it look like just go sit in the corner, bro.

Because it's like so different, you know, it's celebrating filled with like finely chopped verge and a lot of subtle seasoning, it's filled with like meat and different flavors.

And one thing that they use over in Algeria is a lot of cinnamon, which is weird.

Like, you don't really get that in a lot of meaty cooking, but you know, like a lot of North Africa, they like those like flavorsome, kind of like vibrant things to go with their food.

Like, they like their dried lemon and they love their turmeric and they love things like they love their like sweet stuff.

So, cinnamon is something that they use.

And they'll fry the chicken with like just a bit of onions, a bit of water, bang of cinnamon, make a bechamel.

So you mix it up.

Now, put some cheese, they chop some olives, put that, mix up this mixture, mix it, mix it, and then they pull it into the spring roll, deep fried, covered in lemon when it comes out.

Ah, it's like a cheesy, chickeny, olivey

spring roll.

And then they've got the mince meat one, which is again onion, cinnamon, same thing.

But then, with this one, they fry omelets, cut out a little bit of the omelette, put that at the bottom of the spring roll, put the mince meat, wrap it up and fry it.

And then when you bite it, you get like the kind of like sweet, cinnamon-y meat with like a nice, spongy little bit of omelette.

Oh, wow, it's so good, bro.

Yeah, look, Algerian boreks on the side with like 15 lemons.

And do you want all those different types of borek as well in there?

You want a big big mix-up bowl, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've got to have all of them, yeah.

What's a nice borak as well?

They do like the, there's so many, it just you got, you can get creative with it.

Like, they got like basil

and feta ones, which is kind of different because that's the one that I would think of.

Where if someone said borek to me, I'd think of like fetter and spinach in the like cigar-shaped thing, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

There's normally like the cheesy ones or the spinachy ones, like those are like the typical ones, but Algeria, they've they've just got like because there's not there's not that many Algerian restaurants you know what I mean so it's it's hard to kind of experience it but they just I don't know they just I don't know how they got a hold of a spring roll but they got the spring roll they're like brother we're gonna put some buff stuff in this yeah it's all right you like a put some spinach and cheese and make it taste cute we're gonna get chicken and put cheese and olives and deep fry that

what i like about this as well zoo is that you already said your younger self would be shouting at you for not picking a spring roll as the starter so you've just basically like elevated spring rolls in as your side dish so now the younger zoo's relaxing

yeah i basically yeah i didn't do it but i did

so we've come to your drink we've got all around the world who've been to france for the baguette been to italy for your salad yeah been to sierra leone for your jollof nigeria for your side dish where are we going for the drink ah i mean ed knows my love for a super malt because i made him try a super malt.

Zoo loves super malt.

Yeah, you made him try a super malt.

How was your experience of a super malt?

I enjoyed super malt.

It's not a taste I'd had before.

I've got to say, Zoo, I've not had a super malt since then.

I've not gone out to seek another super malt.

It tasted like Guinness, but with none of the fun.

Interesting.

Like, I love Guinness, absolutely love it.

I think it's delicious.

But then you have a super Guinness, you get the taste, you get the cold, sort of smooth, it slips down, it's so nice.

And then, oh, a little bit tipsy, but not with the super malt.

You just get the raw taste of crops.

Raw crops.

Damn.

Damn.

Do you know what's funny?

Is that it's one of the, it's like a big argument, like within like the Africa community and the Caribbean community

because there's such a love-hate thing.

It's like Marmite, innit?

Some people love it, some people hate it.

But the people that hate it, they see things like that, like really hurtful, really,

you know, sad things that you wouldn't cuss any other drink like that for, you know?

But like, I saw a thread the other day, reasons of why supermot is bad like why are you doing this you know go argue a politician or piers morgan bro i mean they're breaking down a drink company that's been a pivotal member of the africa community you know

what you don't hate mamite you just don't like it because other people love it you know yeah you don't understand it that's what it is it's actually they just don't get it and maybe i'm the same with supermot i don't get it you will one day how many supermotes are you drinking on a regular basis though bro i'm not gonna to lie.

I cool it down.

You know, it used to be like something that's always in the house.

But then now we've kind of changed that.

We don't drink as much supermart.

So I would say like maybe two a week.

But supermarket's not my choice of drink.

My drink of choice is the wonderful, the one and only cavosier with sprite and coke.

You can't just have coke or sprite.

You have to mix both.

You have to mix both of the fizzy drinks.

I've always said, what is the mix of a brandy?

You know, whether it's cavosier, whether it's Hennessy, whether it's Remy Martin.

People like to do apple juice.

That's a new one.

Don't really like apple juice one because I like the fizz.

But I'm telling you, I unlocked it one day because I didn't have enough of both.

I had a little bit of sprite and a little bit of Coke.

I had a lot of Cavossier.

So I thought, how are we going to make this work?

Mix the both.

Absolutely.

beautiful you people don't like um brandy because it's very strong doesn't taste that nice when you mix it with these sugary spizzy drinks but then you combo them it creates like this like, have a cavosier and coke on its own.

You'd be like, oh, have a cavossier and sprite on its own, you'd be like, oh, but then you have a cavosier with coke and sprite.

I swear to you, I don't know what happens, but it just tastes like liquid goodness.

Yeah, and you also get very waved.

Now, this is the first time in the meal that the MCs really come out to play with dropping Corvosier in.

Yes.

Now, that's straight out of a video now.

You see plenty of videos with, you know, MCs rolling around with a bottle of Corvoisier.

Never seen them them popping open the Sprite and Coke, though, do you?

Yeah.

Nah, nah, nah.

They always have it straight, you know.

I'm not, I'm just, I'm trying to make you guys have a good life rather than a short one.

I want to see you do a video, Zoo, where you're in like a jacuzzi with a bottle of Corvozier and then just ages trying to open a bottle of Sprite without it spraying in your face.

Yeah.

Yeah,

that's the next video.

That's the next video is me teaching them the mix.

Listen, try the mix.

Give me a shot.

The mix is so good.

I've actually put it in the cookbook.

How long is that fucking recipe?

You're really padding for words there.

Zoo, we're supposed to have 100,000 words in this, mate.

All right.

We'll do three pages.

Cavossi and Sprite Coke.

Mix them.

Yeah.

No, I get that.

That's not the best representation of the book.

We have great drink recipes in there.

Smoothie lists and stuff.

Open a bottle of super malt.

That's the other drink recipe.

That's the other one.

No, honestly, no,

I'll put it in there just to let people know, isn't it?

Are you the kind of person, Big Zoo, who when you're like in Nando's or you know, Burger King or wherever, and you got to go and do your drink, do you mix them up?

Yeah, 1 million percent.

I'm always in that guy.

I don't know why.

I think, you know, the fact that it's free, you're like, yeah, let me abuse your freeness.

You know,

I'm getting, I'm going to Nando's, asking him for a water, looking him in the eye.

Now, if he's going to glass the water,

going over there in front of the same manager, going crazy, yeah,

they're hitting every single one getting bit of ice oh my god yeah that was me nando's i love a coke and fanta you know that's a that's a that's a good one coke and fanta from nando's congo i used to work in nando's so i kind of got sick you know what was the best thing i never knew that nando's sold juice and i was like fam I've been asking these up for tap water this whole time.

I've never actually looked at the juice menu.

And they've got the best juice.

They don't sell it anymore because of COVID.

But when they open up again, if you ever go to Nando's, ask them for like a mango juice or a lemonade.

And it's like, this is so much better than this diluted, bloody Coke that they always get, man.

It's so much better for your chicken.

Trust me, they got orange juice, mango juice, lemon juice, apple juice, but it's like proper, beautiful juice.

Oh, nice.

I didn't know that.

The mango juice sounds amazing.

I always find the phantom, mixing the phantom in it.

That's when it gets a bit muddy for me.

The phantom Coke.

I think

Phantom, like Coke and Sprite, Phanta and Sprite, that all makes sense.

Coke and Fanta, the flavours get a bit muddied, and I'm never sure about that.

It gets a bit sludgy.

I get it, it goes like this weird brown.

Yeah.

And it depends.

It depends.

But there's a certain crispness of that caramelly orange.

You know what I like?

What the problem is with our fantasy?

Our fanta over here is so fucking shit.

Our fantasy is the worst fantas.

Yes.

We got dead fantar.

When you go Europe and stuff, you proper get to enjoy fantar.

It's too orange.

The one that looks like Ka'umpalumbo.

Yeah.

That one.

We got the one that looks like The Simpsons.

One of my favorite drinks I've ever had.

And recently, Ed and I did our dream menus for our 100th episode.

And I chose a different drink for every course.

And the one drink that didn't make it in that would have been one of my dream drinks and genuinely one of the best drinks I've ever had is the Fanta.

that I had in Kenya.

It had a flavor to it.

I don't know.

There was more than than just like sugar and fake orange in there.

It properly had a delicious aftertaste.

I know there was like some spices in there.

It was so good.

Yeah.

And like this burnt taste to it.

When I go to like Spain, it's crazy.

So I can imagine that Kenya one just hitting different, especially when it's super hot as well.

Was it in a glass bottle?

Yeah, yeah, it was.

Yes, it was a glass bottle.

Yeah, come on.

You know, when it's on a glass bottle as well, it's got that extra.

Yeah.

It's got that.

I mean, Coke from a glass bottle is always the best, you know, compared to the...

I hate the machines.

Only America.

See, America, they're like 400 years, light years ahead of us.

I went to America when I was like 14 and I couldn't believe it.

Like McDonald's had its own, like the drink machine.

I was like, what's going on?

Why are we so far behind?

What's going on?

But then it's like the drink machine has everything.

It's got like Kool-Aid.

It's got lemonade.

It's got water.

It's got juice.

And then it's got all the fizzy drinks.

And then like we just had Subway, the boss man saying, you can't refill again, which is what he used to always tell me.

I'll eat my, I'll have my supper of the day, have my one drink, trying to have another drink before I leave.

Bruv, but what do you think?

So what, boss?

You cannot fill again.

And I decided, bruv, come on, man.

You're gonna, come on, man.

You're gonna be tight.

Yeah, I had a lot of arguments with some ways too.

Subways, subway never got along with me, man.

Yeah, the subway never got on.

I love the Coke freestyle machine in Burger King, where they've got like flavors that you've never heard of before.

And I do a radio show every Sunday.

And obviously, Burger King is shut at the moment, but I have to arrive really early.

And I walk past the Burger King at 7 a.m.

on a Sunday.

And and I look in through the window.

I can't wait until COVID's over and I can go and use the freestyle machine again.

Raspberry Diet Coke, what the hell?

Why can't you get that in a can?

I know it's not fair.

It's actually not fair.

On those freestyle machines,

again, this is one of the things that this Ed will get angry about when I tell it.

I don't think Ed knows what I get.

Maybe he does know.

Maybe we've already covered what I have on the freestyle machines when I go to Five Guys.

I don't think we have.

But I go in.

Oh, you're going to get angry about it.

I don't know why I've brought this up.

Oh, I have have Fanta, Zero, No Bubbles,

Grape, and mix it with maybe some Phanta No Bubbles, Zero Cherry.

And I kind of mix those two.

What?

Yeah.

As I was saying it, I was like, it's going to be angry.

So you use the most brilliant drink convention in the world to have a worse version of something that already exists.

I basically have like a squash.

It tastes like squash, really.

I don't think anyone's ever done that combo.

No.

As much as I'm sure all the combos have been done.

I don't think there's anyone going on the zero bubbles and going yeah yeah

go

which brings us to the dessert now i don't know you haven't really talked that much about loves of desserts throughout the yeah you haven't brought it up so far i don't really know where we're going here i'm not i'm not a sweet i'm a sweet tooth person i love haribo and stuff but okay like desserts Growing up, my mom's African, bruv.

I can't tell you better African desserts.

I'm sure there's a lot lot in the whole of Africa, the continent, but fam, we're not the ones.

If France wanted to battle us in a dessert war, they'll definitely take down a lot of Africa first.

So, I think it's one of those things that my mum never really used to have a sweet tooth as well.

So, we never grew up eating desserts.

So, all my desserts growing up were just at

primary school and secondary school.

That's when I'll have a dessert, you know, like a little crumble or a cake.

But then, again

speaking about my ex which is hilarious obviously she's French innit so I spent a lot of time with her do you know what I mean so her family like showed man about like French desserts and stuff and like oh my days I don't know what it is yeah but you know a flan

just a flan yeah just a flaw but a good good good

creamy

emotionally baked to the highest level flaw that thing there man can eat that all day yeah now there's probably some man they've listened to it's like what's a flaw what is that fam yeah how do you explain a flaw i don't even know what's in it i've only ever had it when like having pizza because it's a you can have a base a flat a flaw

so that's the only time i've ever really had it's like uh

it's like cakey isn't it but it's like really airy and light and uh flat and it's just like custody there's different types so there's like the creme caramel version that's like a more wobbly, wobbly version.

Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about.

That's the one you're talking about, yeah.

It's sort of like a baked custard pie, right?

With a pastry base, like a thin pastry base.

Yeah, yeah, I see what we're talking about.

Thin one, oh, but when it's done correct, and the custard is just nice and creamy, the base is nice and crispy, and just oh, oh my god, I gotta give a special shout out to Crumble with cold custard.

I know that sounds random, but some people don't like that.

But I think you have to have hot with cold, you know.

Like, so special shout out to my crumble.

What fruit?

I like an apple, simple apple, but I've been having like apple and

blackberries.

Yeah, the apple with the blackberries because I don't know what it is.

The blackberries just bring a certain happiness out of the apple.

And like, put in the top of my crumble, I've been putting a lot of like oats because people used to tell me put oats.

I'm like, what are you talking about?

It's just a butter and sugar thing.

But now, put some oats and stuff that gives it that extra happiness.

But I don't know what it is about Florida, like it's got such a nice texture, it's like a creme brulee.

Like, some people think like creme bullet is disgusting, some people love it.

It's just sometimes

the texture of a dessert is what you like, you know.

You like that consistency.

I love the consistency of a flan, it's like nice and creamy, but it's sweet, but it's not too sweet.

It's not like after a big meal, like after all of that, like you don't want something too mad sweet to like kill you off, you know.

Because I know some people are thinking, what a flan, that's so boring.

But I've had some good ones where you're like, you're putting your spoon in, you're like,

you're like, what the hell, bro?

Yo, and that's how food's supposed to make you feel.

Food's supposed to make you feel gassed.

And it's like, flan is something that's so good, I can't make it.

It's so good, I won't make it because, like, I know I ain't got the hand.

Like, I'll try.

That's why I can't say a crumble, can't make that.

You know, that's that's something I can make, but a flan, that, that's like, when I've got, I've gone to certain pastries, I've seen it in the window, the tops looking all nice and brownish.

I can see the sides looking nice and oh no yeah let me get that flannel I think you should try and make it I want to be at a house party with you one day and at two in the morning

where's Zoo oh he's in the kitchen making a flan

how much longer do you think this uh relationship lasted because you didn't want to cut off your access to all this great food

Oh bro I mean that answer is just gonna never be right

yeah you've been putting a corner on that one, Zoo.

You can't argue your way out of that one.

Mate, all I can say is it was all part of the journey.

It was all part of the journey.

And like I've said, it's crazy because my influence of the food that I love comes from the people that were around me growing up and my family.

It's like,

I can't tell.

I'm very deep-rooted in that with the food that I love because it's kind of what you're like used to experiencing and used to having.

And

you could talk about food forever and try to make yourself seem like you love something forever.

But what you love is what you love,

you know.

And it's nice to speak about it because you're kind of like, oh, that's why I love it.

Yeah.

Well, you've gone all over with yours.

Water.

We're going to Turkey.

Turkish boss man, still water.

Poppinoms or bread.

Over to France for the baguette with some apricot jam and some lipak.

Starter.

Over to Italy's for some buffalo mozzarella, tomatoes, basil, balsamic, caprezi salad, olive oil, salt.

Oh, lovely.

Main course, Sierra Leone Jolloff Rice.

Side dish, platter of Algerian borek.

Drink, cavosier with sprite and coke.

Dessert, French flan.

Sounds good?

Are you happy with that?

You were doing the face I do when I'm really enjoying thinking about food.

You're like, it's proper, like screw face.

You were like,

you're like, you're imagining it all lined up that you were going to fucking ram your face into it.

So aggressively exciting.

I didn't even cook that,

man.

I know I was.

I know I was.

I know I was doing it for the whole time.

I know you got me.

Yeah, yeah, I'm happy with that.

I'm happy with that.

It's like, it's a combo of classic cooking, innit?

Italian, French cooking, with a little bit of Marcelion influence in there, man.

That's what it, that's what I, that's what I am.

Love it.

Thank you very much, Big Zoo.

Thank you so much, Zoo.

Big love.

Well, there we are.

What a lovely episode with Big Zoo.

I think that was a top food episode and a lovely, quite,

felt like we were making some emotional connections with food that often we don't make.

Yes, it was beautiful.

Big Zoo's so good at talking about food, man.

And I can't wait to dive into that cookbook.

It sounds like a treat.

I'm going to make that Jollof Rice for sure.

I'm going to make that drink.

I can imagine you just like...

cutting about your house with a big cup of Corfosier and Sprite and Coke.

I'm going back and forth between the cookbook when I'm making it.

Okay, what's the next step?

What do we do now?

Come on.

Oh, no, I don't have I don't have two of the ingredients.

I'll just have a sprite.

I'll just have a sprite and replace the other two with more sprite.

It was a great episode.

Thank you very much, Big Zoo, for coming on.

Remember that his new series of Big Zoo's Big Eats starts very, very soon.

And his cookbook is out very, very soon.

Big Zoo's Big Eats cookbook.

And we can't wait to cook from that, like we say.

And he didn't say the secret ingredient.

He didn't say chicory.

For not saying chicory, big zoo.

Because otherwise we wouldn't have been able to hear about the flan at the end.

We wanted to hear about the flan.

I mean, I'd say flan, but he pronounced it correctly and he refused to pronounce it any other way.

And you've got to respect that.

I'm never saying flan again.

Flan.

All the time.

James, anything that you would like to plug?

Yeah.

Just be nice to each other.

Cool.

I'm behind that as well.

Oh.

You can't plug.

The thing is, you can't now plug something that is actually yours and that earns you money now if you've plugged Be Nice to Each Order I feel like Be Nice to Each Other should come after the actual plugs, James.

Are you gonna plug something properly now?

Maybe at Off Menu Official is our Twitter.

Yeah, that's good, we can do that.

Yeah, at offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Yes, is that right?

Yeah, that's our website.

There's a whole there's a page on there devoted to all the restaurants that get shout outs.

You said at offmenupodcast.co.uk, but I think we know what you meant.

You just mean offmenupodcast.co.uk.

I haven't used the internet in a while.

Offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Whole list of all the restaurants that ever get mentioned on the Off Menu podcast is on there.

Yeah.

For one day.

I mean, we're currently recording this in a lockdown, but one day that list is going to come in handy.

It really, really is.

Thank you very much for listening to another episode of Off Menu.

We will see you in the Dream Restaurant again sometime soon.

Goodbye.

See you soon.

Yum, yum, yum.

We get it.

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