Ep 100: Ed Gamble and James Acaster (with special guest genie Claudia Winkleman)

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James A.

Caster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

Life's messy.

We're talking spills, stains, pets, and kids.

But with Anibay, you never have to stress about messes again.

At washable sofas.com, discover Anibay Sofas, the only fully machine-washable sofas inside and out, starting at just $699.

Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics.

That means fewer stains and more peace of mind.

Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime.

Need flexibility?

Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes.

Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.

That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Upgrade your space today.

Visit washable sofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life.

That's washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Hi, who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?

Me, I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle and I started Olive in June because let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails, but who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon?

And that's why I created the Mani system.

So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home.

And guess what?

The best part?

Each Manny only costs $2.

Yep, you heard me, $2.

No more $30, $40, $50 salon trips that eat up your day.

Now you can paint your nails whenever you want, wherever you want.

And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails.

And everyone is going to ask you, where did you get your nails done?

And here's a little something extra: head over to olivinjune.com and get 20% off your first Mani system with code perfectmani20 at olivinjune.com/slash perfectmani20.

That's code perfectmanny20 for 20% off at olive and june.com slash perfectmanny20.

You're all set for a nail glow-up.

Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

At Certopro Painters, we know that a happy place comes in many colors, like ones that inspire a sense of wonder or a new flavor that makes life just a little bit sweeter.

or one to celebrate those moments that lift you to new heights at home or at work.

We'll make your happy place your own.

Certapro Painters.

That's Painting Happy.

Each Certipro Painters business is independently owned and operated.

Contractor license and registration information is available at Certapro.com.

Uh-oh, 100, baby.

100, baby.

100 episodes, James.

This is episode 100 of the off-menu podcast, and it's going to be a special one.

We never thought we'd do 100.

Oh, well, I never thought we'd do that.

A lot of we flying around there when I always knew,

I didn't always know that we'd do 100, but

I hadn't planned to not do 100.

But as is now

in the public's knowledge, we've said it a lot.

You assumed we'd do 10 and then stop.

Yeah, I thought that was the drill.

Yeah.

But

never been so happy to be wrong.

I love it.

100 episodes.

Same age as the Great Benito.

100.

People don't know that about the 100-year-old, Great Benito, tiny little old man.

Yes.

Well done, Great Benito, for producing 100 spectacular episodes, going through the edit.

He doesn't like to be thanked, and he doesn't like people to know that he edits it all with his gnarled 100-year-old fingers.

Yes.

Just flaking skin on to his keyboard at home.

Well, thank you, Flaky Bonito.

Bonito Flex.

Obviously, say Bonito Flex.

Obviously.

Why would I say Flaky Bonito first?

It's a food-based pun about Bonito having flaky skin.

Of course, Bonito Flex.

But anyway, let's not get waylaid.

It's going to be a special episode, I think.

I hope.

When it's 100 episodes, any podcast has to do something special.

True.

We knew what the obvious thing was to do, and we tried to get around it and think of other things to do because we thought we've got to put it off do ours another time but we couldn't resist we think that anyone else the listeners would be annoyed yeah if we didn't do our menus for the hundredth episode and they'd be annoyed if only one of us did our menu as well because they'd be like well what about the other we'll go wait another hundred episodes and that person gets 200 episodes to decide what they're gonna have that's not fair to the first person exactly we're going dining together aren't we Ed we're going for a little fantasy dream meal together James but it's in a dream restaurant where obviously we get our separate menus.

don't you worry about that uh it's probably going to be a long episode because we've got a lot of food to talk about yeah this is two meals worth here two meals worth and i'm relinquishing my powers i'm not a genie for this episode he has no powers but powers of course have to inhabit some vessel so we will be handing james's powers over to the waiter in the dream restaurant we're having a night off We've searched through the temp agencies and we found who we believe to be the perfect waiter and maitre dee for the dream restaurant for one night only.

And that is Claudia Winkleman.

Claudia Winkleman.

Claudia Winkleman, a previous dining guest of the Dream Menu, of course.

Very popular episodes, Claudia Winkleman's.

So it's very exciting for us that she can come back in now as a worker.

Yes, I think Claudia's going to be such a great host.

In that episode, we talked to her.

She hated water.

She did loads of sound effects.

She was passionate about food.

And I know she'll leave no stone unturned when we tell her what our wonderful menus are.

And also, let's not forget, she's just a consummate broadcaster.

Let's not forget that.

Strings to her bow.

So many strings.

So no secret ingredient because there's absolutely no way we're going to get booted out of our own restaurant.

No, thank you.

I mean, we'd be idiots to set a secret ingredient for ourselves.

I would like to request, though, that sometime during the night, Jade Addams walks in and gets kicked out instantly.

Yes, of course, absolutely.

That's definitely going to happen.

You may not be able to hear that happen in the episode, but trust me, it does.

It does happen.

At some point, Jade will come in and go, Taylor Pawa!

They'll get shut out immediately.

We should just get on with it then, I reckon, James.

Obviously, we're very excited.

We're very happy to have made it to 100 episodes.

So

thank you to the listener.

We'll do proper thanks after the episode, I'd imagine, but we're very excited to be here.

Just know going into the episode that we're grateful for you listening to the podcast.

Yes, we are grateful.

Because then if we say it now before the episode, they'll probably listen to us with a kinder ear when we say

we love.

We love you.

Please listen with kind ears.

Thank you.

So without further ado, this is the off-menu menus of Ed Gamble.

Ed Gamble and James A Caster.

Presented by Claudia Winkleman.

Claude Winkleman.

Before I do anything, I decided to say out loud, this is quite major.

This is not what normally happens because

I'm honoured.

That's what I'm going to use that word.

to welcome James and Ed to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you very much, Claudia.

There we go.

Thank you.

We're honored to have you.

There we go.

Oh, it's the dream restaurant has a bird in it today.

Well, we're in Tahiti.

I am a facilitator today because what's happening, just to share with the group, it's your 100th episode of the best podcast of all time, let's be honest.

Correct.

And today, you two, this is huge, are going to share your menus.

Yes.

And I've given you temporarily the genie powers.

I've transferred them over to you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We did the ceremony beforehand.

Yeah.

I mean, it was a long ceremony, three and a half hours of humming.

Yes, a lot of humming.

And you were very good throughout.

You were very respectful.

Now, Claudia, obviously the idea is you use those genie powers to create our dream menus when we ask for them.

But obviously, obviously while you've got them it would seem a shame to not use them for some other stuff is there anything else you'll be using the genie powers for no this is what everyone needs to grasp is

this is not about me this this is what you two like doing you like asking questions you have an opinion about a side dish you're like what spoon would you use with that

that's now now this is on youtube you spotted my trick there claudia i'm so this is i'm so nervous about doing my dream menu it's i've just i've realized as i'm trying to do it that it's an an awful thing to ask someone to put someone in this position.

And we've done it 99 times.

So I was trying to ask you what you do, the genie powers, to try and make this about you rather than us because I'm terrible.

Nothing to do with me, mate.

Try to deflect straight away.

Let me ask you this.

At what juncture did you start?

Have you always, when you've talked to other people, thought that's madness, I'd never choose that.

Have you always, in the back of your head, got your dream menu?

No.

No, absolutely not.

Because

I've done it, but this is what my menu is now as of this second.

But if you asked me tomorrow, it would be different.

That's very fickle.

It's very fickle and a bit weird.

Yeah, that's the lucky thing about being the hosts.

Fingers crossed, we do another 100 episodes after this.

And on 200, we can do another one of these.

And we can show how we've grown as people.

That's what this podcast is really about.

Or what would be adorable is if you had exactly the same.

Oh, that would be fun.

Yeah, that would be sweet.

She went, do you know what?

I was right.

Do you know what?

There are some things on this menu.

So actually, you said about have we always had it in the back of our heads.

And if I'm honest, I've always had a notes in my, in my phone where I've written down all the things that are contenders.

Wow.

And anytime I have anything that's amazing, I've put it in my Google notes because I thought, well, I'm going to have to do this one day, clearly.

Didn't know when it would be, but I knew the day would come.

That's quite erotic.

So you're at dinner with your girlfriend and you say, hold on a sec, darling.

I've just had a buttered parsnip with a honey glaze.

I'm going to stop you there.

Yeah.

And wrote it in.

Sometimes I've got the parsnip in my mouth and my eyes are closed.

I'm in ecstasy and my hands are still writing down in the notes.

Manically.

The parsnip.

James, who have you shared this menu with?

Did you want to check with anyone?

Was it a parent?

Was it a friend?

I did check with my girlfriend.

I did tell her.

I didn't check with her, actually.

She was nosy and wanted to know what it was beforehand.

Because you're constantly in Google Notes.

She thinks you're having an affair.

Yeah, yeah.

She doesn't believe me.

She's like, well, let me see the notes then.

She knows, James.

She knows he's definitely not having an affair.

Her first thought was he's probably writing that down in a note to remind himself later on.

Yeah, he's probably writing down what food he likes.

Always remembered an album that he likes in 2016.

He's an absolute loser, this guy.

But yeah, I did tell her.

And she didn't, you know, there wasn't a point where she went, what?

So I think, yeah, that was reassuring.

But there is some things on it which...

I don't know.

There's potential for crossover with Ed's menu here.

And I would be excited if we get...

I don't know if there's a special rule where if we say the same thing, something happens in the dream restaurant.

I think we have to kiss.

We have to kiss, don't we?

No, well, not everybody has to stop what they're doing, step away from Zoom and do a roly-poly.

Big ideal.

That's what happens in our house.

Something major happens.

Just, all right, guys, mat out.

Let's do it.

And I'm 49, that's quite something.

Ed, is there anything that has made you slightly nervous?

What's giving you...

the wobbles, as it were?

Well, I mean, all of it gives me the wobbles, but in a good way, as in, I'll slap my tummy after I've eaten it.

But I think

I've maybe, have I messed with the format?

As I went through it, I found our format too restrictive.

Goodness.

So I've danced around the

outskirts of the format, but in a way that previous guests have done.

So I'm hoping it'll be allowed.

Yes.

Are you nervous?

Because

the people who listen to this show love this show.

They love the two of you.

They often often listen to episodes more than once.

Are you thinking about pleasing them?

Are you thinking about your fans, the off-menu people who make memes?

I've still got ones coming to me of Mr.

Burns.

You know, if they go, well, James has let us down because he's chosen Partridge.

I mean,

are you worried about that?

No, firstly, I'm not worried about James choosing Partridge.

I don't know if that's not.

Nobody would choose Partridge, not even a Partridge.

Well, especially not a Partridge.

Continue.

I think the people who listen to this will be happy with a lot of different outcomes so if they're just straight up nice menus and they think they sound delicious they'll be like yes we're on board with that we like food if the menus are awful they'll enjoy making fun of us on the internet uh if me and james really come to blows over something that's i think that's the best outcome for them you know if the worst thing happens and i do what everyone wants me to do which I'm not going to say out loud now, James will absolutely lose his mind.

Well, I'm not sure.

I've been thinking about that.

I've been thinking about what if he does it.

And if he does it, what am I going to do?

And in this instance, I'll be so consoled by my own menu that it won't affect me as much.

Normally,

the menu that the guest brings to the dream restaurant is the only menu I get to hear that day.

And

when they do something horrible, it really annoys me because I'm like, oh, we had such a lovely chat and now on this.

But now I get to conjure up my own, well, Claudia conjures up my dream meal for me.

So maybe, but I don't know.

I still might, I don't know how I'm going to feel if he does it.

Before we enter, right?

I mean, we're here, but before we, let's say we're in the ante-room, the lobby, briefly, what would your dream restaurant look like?

Are you on a beach?

Are you in a crowded pub?

Is there open brickwork?

I think there is open brickwork, you know.

Yeah.

I feel like there is open brickwork.

I like a sort of large, spaced-out dining room, but buzzy.

I want buzzy.

I want sort of like hard surfaces, wood floors,

atmosphere, but everyone's spaced out still.

You've got plenty of room, but you can hear the hubble and bubble, but you can't hear what the hubble and bubble is regarding.

Got you.

And exposed brickwork.

And exposed brickwork.

Some sort of plant action.

Yeah, they often go together.

Of course.

Vines.

Some vines.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

Ring-a-ding-ding.

Hence the macaw earlier.

When you say exposed brickwork, it makes me think of a brick flashing someone.

Yeah, that's what I want.

I want brick dicks everywhere that's an option James what's your dream you're walking in you're holding hands I pull back the curtain what does it look like well see this is where I think I'm actually very unimaginative because instead of imagining my own perfect restaurant that I've made in my head I'm just imagining Noma in Copenhagen right because you said that we were in the little bit beforehand before going in and that's my favorite experience I've ever I mean it's the best meal out I've ever had

and this is no spoilers because weirdly none of it has made it onto my menu, but it is the best meal out I've ever had and before you go in they put you in like a little greenhouse that's like got all the stuff they've been working on and growing and there's a bunch of jars that have fermented stuff in them and you get given a little a little drink some hibiscus drink and just looking around at all the the stuff getting excited about tasting these flavours and then you have a little walk as well and you go past a a little burning fire and you get to smell the brunkiness of the

And then you go into the main restaurant, and everyone comes out and says hello to you, like you've walked past a pond with some bread, and all the ducks come and they're excited.

All the staff come up and said hello.

The Danish for hello is quack as well.

So they were quacking at us, and then they sat us by the window as well.

I think that's what I would like in the dream restaurant: to be sat by a massive window.

So it's not even they have this as well at T-Bay services.

I think

the two best places I've ever been for a meal

were Noma and T-Bay.

Yeah.

And I want a huge window that is more window than wall, and there'd be a pond right by the window.

And I can just look out at like the water.

And I'm going to be able to see a sunset at some point during the meal.

This is good.

I'm there.

See, weirdly, when I was thinking of my dream restaurant, I was thinking of Cadeau in Copenhagen, but I didn't want to say it because I was worried I'd sound wanky.

But now James has done that.

I'm going to hop on the back of that.

Mine is Codeau in Copenhagen.

Two tickets to Copenhagen, please.

I mean, absolutely, please.

That is the first place I'm going to go when we can go places internationally.

Me too.

Nice.

See you there.

Yeah, done.

My husband is Danish.

He'll be very happy.

Oh, yeah.

That wet-mouthed motherfucker.

That dribbling dolphin.

I'm trying to say quack, quack, and spraying everywhere.

It's disgusting.

Massive wet tongue.

Never mind.

I've got to ask you a question, if that's all right.

And there's going to be sound effects and I'm excited.

Still or sparkling water?

Do you know what?

It's so exciting having it asked to us and having Claudia asking us.

James, what are you...

Do you always go for the same thing?

What are you going to have?

Well, here's the thing, though.

I'm worried because I actually haven't checked with Benito as to whether there's a secret ingredient for this episode.

And normally the secret ingredient is something that...

Ed and I as the host don't like.

I know that you hate water.

I'm now worried that the joke is me and Ed get kicked out immediately

during the water course.

No, there is no secret ingredient.

That's only for you two to do.

No, I relax.

So

I'm holding two bottles.

Oh, do you like your view of the window with the pond and the 24-hour sunset, sir?

What can I pour you?

Here's the thing.

So if I had to choose between still and sparkling water, I'd choose still water.

And I think I would be more excited if it had some cucumber in it

and some

in a spa.

Huh?

You appear to be eating in a spa James.

Yes, well,

I mean, A, you drink water.

So I don't know if you're eating a glass of water, Ed, like a madman.

Yeah, but why you put cucumber in it?

It just makes everything taste like cucumber.

Oh, yeah, that's the point of adding stuff to it.

Sorry, I didn't want, I actually said to myself before this,

I didn't want this to be a fight, because I think James has excellent tastes.

Let him live.

He wants a big pool and some cucumber water and a foot rub.

It's a very profound point, Ed, to point out that when you add an ingredient to something, it then tastes of that ingredient.

And I agree that if you add cucumber, it would taste of cucumber.

I like the cucumber, but it's sliced really long.

Oh, yeah.

When they do the diagonal slice.

Yeah, yeah.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Why do you prefer that?

Tastes better.

Here's the thing.

This is the only one where I was like, everything else on my menu, I'm excited about.

The water course, I really wanted, because I wanted to nail every single part of this menu.

Yeah.

And the water course, I was like, nothing's inspiring me here.

I haven't had a water somewhere that's really blown my mind.

And I thought, I know who's hosting this.

They might let me do an immediate loophole.

Of course I will.

And just replace the water.

I've said what I would have still or sparkling.

Yeah, and we know that.

And also, it's your show.

Loophole away.

But maybe if I crack open a can, Coston, Coston, Coston Press.

It's the water.

Course and Coston is the baiest.

He's written the song.

You can't deny that.

He wants a Coston press.

It's got water in it.

To be fair, I've gone sparkling, really.

It's a mildly sparkling, soft drink, rhubarb Corsten Press,

it's got apples in it.

It's mainly apple-based, but then this is of the rhubarb flavor.

I love it.

I drink it so much.

To me, it's like water.

This is what my logic is.

I love it so much that it's just become a normal flavor to me.

I wouldn't really pick it as my dream drink and stuff like that because I just drink it all the time.

It's my water.

It's Corston Press.

And so therefore, if I want to be excited about every element of this meal, I would want to sit down in a restaurant by the big window, see the pond, and the waiter just comes over and pours me, pours everyone on the table a glass of Causton Press from a jug and walks away.

And everyone goes, Well, this is a surprising start to our meal at Noma.

Rhubarb?

Yeah, yeah.

I've come all the way to Denmark.

I'm glad rhubarb.

Okay.

I think, Ed, if there's no objection, I think that's okay.

Well, Claudia, I can't object because you'll find that way when I give you my choice of a bit more sparkling water.

Oh, gosh, here we go.

The only thing I want to ask you about the Corston Press rhubarb is that in a short glass or a tall glass and does it have ice and would you be wanting a straw?

Just to really

got to drill down.

I'd like those details please.

Ice is a con, so I'm not having ice.

Yeah.

You're not going to get me that way.

No one's again this that's a very James A.

Caster phrase.

You're not going to get me that way.

No one's trying to get you mate.

No one's trying to get you.

Just a chat.

Everyone's trying to get me on this.

I'm not being tricked by the ice.

Ice fills up the glass, takes up the space that could be used for Corston press.

Unless the ice cubes are frozen Corst and press.

Oh.

Which I'll be open to.

Actually, that's what I want.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what you want, mate.

Yeah, but I don't want cubes.

I want the crushed ice that's made of Corston press.

Fill the glass up with that, pour the Corston press on it.

That's what I'd like.

So there's a jug of Corston press in the middle of the table that I can keep on topping up my glass.

But it's crushed ice that is made from Corston Press.

But

that's going to bang into your teeth.

Are you using a straw?

No.

No.

I've never seen you use a straw.

Yeah, I'm not really a straw guy.

He can't purse his lips, Claudia.

He has an open mouth all the time.

Do you know what though?

I would use a straw if it was one of those, you know, novelty curly straws.

Yeah, round the bend.

That's fun.

They said happy birthday.

Yeah, yeah.

I like watching that.

That's really fun.

Okay.

So yeah, maybe I'd have one of those straws.

I'm very happy with your answer.

Are you delighted with that?

Is that made I'm really happy with it because more palatable, especially the crushed ice because I hate ice cubes, but then I remembered I actually love crushed ice and I think it's really cool.

So like actually I'm really happy with that, especially if it's the same flavor as the drink.

I know what you mean.

I think crushed ice is really cool and I think it comes from when you go over to a friend's house when you're younger and they have that fridge with the ice machine on the front.

And I think I only had like one friend who had that and I would just spend all day at their house being like crushed ice or cubes, crushed ice or cubes.

It's so exciting.

And crushed ice was the coolest because you see cubes every day, right?

Yeah, see cubes all the time.

No one cares about it.

Also, I don't like a cube of ice in my mouth.

It sometimes does that little screechy sound and that,

yeah, do you know what I mean?

Bonita looks confused.

Because you can't purse your lips again, so it just falls out, doesn't it?

You can't purse them, just falls out.

Everything in this meal is going to fall out of my mouth.

That's why I'm next to the window.

Next to the window with a bib.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm delighted with that, if you are.

Oh, I'm so happy with it.

I was worried that I was...

Do you know what?

I was really worried that I was going to immediately get told, no, you can't have that.

Not by you, but by Edward Gamble.

And then I looked at him and realised he's done the same thing.

Yeah.

Of course, yes.

Ed, I've got to ask you then.

So I've just put a big jug of crushed, rhubarb-flavoured, fizzy water.

Would you like still or sparkling?

I'll have a pint of Guinness, please.

I can have water at home.

I'm not going to my dream restaurant and kicking off with the water.

I can have that at the tap.

I'll have two litres of water before I go in to hydrate myself.

I'll have easy access to a toilet.

And for still or sparkling water, I would like a pint of Guinness, which they still recommend to drink after a marathon as the ultimate hydration tool with iron and other vitamins included.

One pint of draft Guinness.

I miss it so much.

Thank you very much.

Bought up a marathon immediately.

I mean, I feel bad about letting the rhubarb fizzy water because the rhubarb causten world, whatever it is, seems to me water that has just sort of made eye contact with some rhubarb flavoring.

Sure.

Guinness, I'm going to ask you your drink later.

No problem.

That's coming up.

That's like asking for a side dish for water.

It's not.

It's still,

it's a very hydrating liquid.

It's delicious.

It's better water, essentially.

Someone's made better water.

Water is still the base of beers and stouts.

So there's still water in there.

It's still mainly water.

I have a question.

Please.

Is it not going to fill you up too much?

No.

I mean, I don't know what your menu is.

It might just be frise lettuce and a tiny timbal of but a whole pint of Guinness, you're going to need to have a lie-down.

No, I am extremely greedy.

I do drink.

I was, I was actually, when I worked in a pub, I was accused by the landlord of drinking Guinness like water.

So I don't know whether I'm going to add that to my portfolio of evidence.

I can swig Guinness.

I can knock it back.

I could drink four pints of Guinness before I start to feel full.

But I would like one pint of draft Guinness, please, for my still a sparkling water course.

James, how are you feeling about this?

Well, number of questions.

I feel in a number of ways.

But you respect me massively, obviously.

Well, look, I always respect you no matter what, but that doesn't mean I like you.

Here's what I've done, Ed.

Here's my question to you.

Any loophole that I've applied to my menu, my rule for myself was...

I'm not doing any new loopholes that we haven't had on the podcast before.

They're only loopholes that I've let people get away away with on the podcast so that we're playing within the rules.

Claudia, when she was on, changed her water to, I believe, a soft drink.

So I was like, right, I'm going with Corst and Press.

Sure.

Oh, yes.

I swapped it for a mug of macaroni cheese.

Yeah, that was it.

So, okay, well, in many ways, the Guinness kind of has to stand up.

Yeah, the Guinness has to stay.

If especially if it's Claudia running this dream restaurant today, and she's trying to tell me I'm not allowed Guinness, sat there with a steaming hot mug of pasta.

I just wanted to flag it up.

Water bottle full of pasta.

no and you're right you're right to flag it up i knew it was going to cause a discussion but i think we can all agree it's a great choice and uh and let's move on how about this when they finish pouring your guines yeah when they're just finishing it on the tap just getting to the end they don't draw oh don't their heads there what if they wrote in the phone h2o i mean i'd be impressed yeah i'd be happy with that if we're if we're all happy to agree with that

so this is a different day and it's you two talking to a guest yeah it's dean gaffney he comes on and he says, because what happens with loopholes is they occur normally at the end.

You know what I mean?

You're 90 minutes in, everyone's jovial and you go, please can my side dish be a tiramisu and everyone's like, ah, get out of here.

Bye, thanks for coming.

To go in hard with I'm not having water is bold.

And I'm just wondering if you two are there, Gaffney, whoever it is, I'm obsessed by him.

And he asked for that.

Where are you going with that?

As the creators, as the hosts of the show well if gaffney asked for a pint of guinness so much respect to gaffney yeah of course because i'd be like oh damn it that's what i would have chosen we've not done my menu yet yeah fine i'd respect gaffney for choosing a pint of guinness if he could argue it like i have like there's the marathon evidence there's the you know the actual creation of guinness uh and there's also the let's not forget what the landlord said to me claudia at the rains park tavern where you could drink four pints without even being full well exactly and i i agree look i agree it's cheap It's a cheeky choice, but I think we're going to have to let it fly.

Okay.

All right.

Guys,

you have your beverages.

You are in open brickwork.

You are by a pond.

Let us continue.

I can't do it the way you do it because

that would be ridiculous.

Try and do it.

No.

Try and do it.

I'm too old.

I can both of you, I can be your grandmothers.

Like sometimes you've just got to know your place.

I was so kind of like, I thought a lot about just this episode.

And I thought, oh, you know,

this is obviously, because of the pandemic, we've had to do do it over Zoom.

But for ages, it's been this thing where, you know, we might have to record this episode in person.

That's how it's always been in my head.

Yeah.

And that someone will have to try and scare me by shouting pop-adoms or bread and make me jump.

And I was like, well, we're doing it over Zoom, so that's not going to happen.

And then paranoid as I am, I started being like, what if Benito sorts something out where he pays my girlfriend to jump in and just shout pop-a-doms or bread, but I'm not expecting it.

I mean, James, look behind you.

Yeah.

I'm going to say it in a calm manner because I've got two baskets as I come over.

That's just the situation.

They're attached to me.

They're attached to my hair.

I've created plaits and then they go into two large baskets.

One has bread in it.

Lovely.

Different assortment, your choice.

The other one has got poppadoms.

So you're quite weighed down on one side, would you say?

It's a good point, but the poppadoms are also, they have a selection of dips.

Right, I can't do it.

In

quite heavy base bottom, ceramic urns.

So I'm evened out.

No problem.

Seesaw has sorted itself out.

Ed, I'm asking you, what you gonna have?

It's bread, Claudia, but I'm being very specific about this.

Look, I like poppadoms, but I think I only get a hankering for a curry once every six months.

That's all?

Yeah, that is all.

I'm not really like a big curry guy.

I did get the hankering about two nights ago.

I had a lovely curry and very much enjoyed the poppadoms that came with it.

But I'm never buying poppadoms outside of a curry hankering.

So, you know, I rarely have them.

I have them twice a year.

So I couldn't, in good conscience, choose poppadoms.

Bread I have on a regular basis.

I love bread.

It's a lifelong love affair with bread.

I absolutely love it.

We're getting specific with this.

Yeah.

I think it's mad when anyone comes on and they don't choose garlic bread because it's the best bread.

I think it's a way of getting an extra side in for me choosing garlic bread at this stage.

And this is another more specific thing.

It's garlic bread with cheese and marmite from Yard Sale Pizza.

Wow.

I mean, I'm on board.

Is it platted?

It's not platted.

No.

It's a flatbread pizza situation.

So it's basically the pizza dough, garlic butter, marmite, and then cheese on top.

And the way the Marmite reacts.

Oh, it's just yeasty and sharp and with the mozzarella cheese and with the garlic butter.

I order a pizza from Yard Sale, but I always order the garlic bread with Marmite and cheese.

And I think that's my my favorite bit.

Is it cut into triangles or are you breaking off strips?

I'm break.

No, I think it is actually cut into sort of across ways.

It's cut into thick strips and then one across.

So it's sort of in half and then strips within the halves.

And it's never done accurately because it's proper, you know, handmade stuff.

They're not getting a machine to do that.

So they're knocking it out.

So obviously I'm straight in for the biggest bit.

Biggest bit, but also middle bit, extra cheese, or do you like the slightly charred round the outside?

I like both of those bits, but I normally go for the middle bit with the extra cheese in the middle first because I'm a big cheesy boy.

What kind of bread is it?

It's like dough.

It's just like flatbread, basically.

Like pizza bread.

Well, yeah, I mean, you know, it's dough.

I am very surprised at this.

Well, what you're doing here is garlic bread is often in, I'm going to use a word, the C word, ciabata.

isn't it?

Yes.

That's what you have.

Or like a French.

Or a baguette, yeah.

Thank you.

A baguette.

And then it's sliced and in it goes.

And then suddenly we're in dough ball world.

Yeah.

You don't don't need to comment on them.

Where it's that's a different kind of dough, and that's what you're talking about, but it's laid out flat and is more artisanal.

Yeah, it's a gut, it's like a garlic pizza bread, but it's very thin, very crispy.

Apart from the middle, which is a little bit soggier because there's the extra cheese and extra butter, like you say.

So there's a range of textures within that.

You're going all around the world there, and it is just phenomenal.

Talk to me about the ratio.

How Marmitey is it?

Or are you just using it for the yeast?

You know, the Marmite's there.

You can taste that Marmite, but it's not, of course, it's not thick it's uh it's a thin it's a thin spreading of marmite just for the just for the flavor but you know it's there the garlic's still punching through though good

james are you immediately like i am sitting there thinking i can't believe i didn't choose that because it sounds outstanding oh it sounds outstanding oh but i've never eaten it before it'd be mad if i'd changed my order to that now

it'd be weird are you surprised james why why are you surprised we've talked about garlic bread on the podcast in the past and you said your favourite garlic bread is the baguette sweaty garlic bread it's the best it is but and so when you said yeah garlic bread i immediately imagined that and then you said with cheese and marmite on it i was like that sounds absolutely brilliant and then you said it was pizza bread and i was like oh you know i have a little marmite and cheese pizza well i've always i think this is my favorite garlic bread generally my favorite form of garlic bread would be the baguette the sweaty baguette but this specifically i don't think anywhere else does this so this is only yard sale pizza and i i've I've always had in the back of my mind that I'm choosing this.

So, it's, I think maybe when garlic bread has come up recently on the podcast, I've sort of maybe not talked about this deliberately because I knew I was going to bring it up.

Saving it.

Saving it in the Rolodex.

Yeah.

Ed's like, you know, an actor in the MCU, just doing an interview and thinking, don't mention it.

Don't give him any spoilers.

Can't do it.

Don't give it to the Feige.

James,

I've got my two laden baskets.

What's this going to to be?

I don't know what he's going to be.

I would like to know what Ed thinks.

The thing is, I think you probably talk about pop-adoms more than you talk about bread.

I know you like bread, sure.

We've shared some wonderful sandwiches.

But I think you're possibly going to go poppadoms here.

Interesting.

So the whole reason why poppadoms or bread even exists.

in the podcast because people sometimes have a go at us for it and they're like why those two options and blah blah blah we have let people choose other things but like you know it's basically anything that you would be offered at this point in the meal um but the reason it exists is because you know every time i've been out for a curry and they've brought popadoms out i've been so excited and so delighted that the poppadoms are here and i've never really felt like that when they bring the bread out before normally when they bring the bread out pre-meal i thought oh god no i've got to resist eating this now otherwise i'm going to spoil my meal and this is and then if it's nice like oh no no's going to eat this and i know i'm going to be too full later but with the poppadoms i'm like i can't wait to smash them i can't wait to use all the dips in general, I like poppadoms more than I like bread.

And so I wanted to ask guests this because I wanted to know

who agrees with me.

And every time they say poppa doms, you can hear that I'm a bit more happy.

I always do a little bit of a celebration because I'm really happy they've chosen the poppadoms.

And I like getting to ask the same questions over and over again about the pop-a-doms.

I love it.

And the best place I've ever had, poppa doms is a place in Edinburgh where me and my friends, we stayed on this, in the same house for three or four years, and just a few doors down was Kathmandu Namaste, a great curry house.

And we would go there, and the poppadoms they do there, while they're in the fryer, they fold them up somehow as they're frying them so that you get like a little triangle, like a cone, and it's just even crispier than a normal popadom.

And those are my favorite poppadoms in the world.

They sound amazing.

However,

I'm going bread.

What?

That was like a, you were describing a love affair.

And I was in.

Were you in, Ed?

I mean, I was like...

I was in the cone.

I was in the middle of the cone.

I was naked and I was covering myself in mango chutney.

Well, listen.

Yeah.

But this is the thing.

I'm doing loopholes that other people have done.

And I don't know if anybody...

Are you doing a loophole for every course, mate?

No.

I don't know.

Okay.

I might be.

I don't know if anyone's done the loophole, poppadums and bread before.

I don't know if we've let that slide.

And

I don't mind if I'm not allowed it.

I don't know.

Especially after your big chat at the beginning about you're only doing loopholes that other people have done and you're trying poppadoms and bread, which you're not sure anyone's done before.

I don't think they have.

No, and also the key thing when you shout it is, if you don't mind me saying the word or yes.

So I don't mind not being allowed it.

If I have to choose popadums or bread, I'm going bread and it's a very specific bread because there's this one bread that has won me over.

And weirdly as well, the guy who made it, he's, you know, I had the meal delicious.

And he said to me, big fan of the podcast, and I went, well, I'll tell you this, mate.

I've always thought in my head that I'd always choose popadums and do pop a dumbs of bread that bread you gave me at the start that's just knocked off pop a dumbs for me and then he did he did a little a little happy dance that guy did

a little he was very happy about it so jovial it was at a pop-up restaurant next to the dairy ed in was that clapham in clapham yeah it's next door to that the dairy is now shut by the way yes rest in peace but uh i believe they're they're now they've now opened in bermondsey and they're called the bermondsey larder definitely go there then because delicious food.

It was open at this point when I went to the pop-up next door and the pop-up didn't have a toilet, so you had to go in the dairy to use the toilet.

Lovely to be in there, lovely to pop in.

It was called Alta.

A-L-T-E-R.

That's how you spell Alta.

Tiny little place.

And straight away you sit down.

And he gave us, it was basically, it's quite similar to Ed's in a way.

Pizza bread.

So there was his fingers of bread, which were basically like pizza crust that he'd made, but like the fluffiest, airiest pizza crust.

And he had dusted it in this uh homemade rub or spice you know this mixture of herbs and spices that made it taste exactly like the most delicious pizza wow but it's dry it's dry so the the the the dust in is just completely dry and it's this pizza crust finger covered in this dust that tastes exactly like a pizza with this dip i'm looking now i think that they've now got an actual restaurant as well shout out is it still called alter yes so yeah it's still called alter uh and now yeah on lemon street in whitechapel there you go when you had a bite of it i'm just saying this for me i just need to know a bit more if i was tasting something that tasted like pizza i'd be so depressed that there wasn't melted cheese oh right yeah yeah yeah do you know what i mean i'd be looking for the sog yes well i felt like i was in if willy wonker's got a savory cousin he does yeah uh i felt like i was in his savoury factory and he had gone this bread tastes just like a full pizza and you taste it and you go, it does taste like, it's like eating a pizza.

And because you're not tasting all the cheese and the sauce and stuff like that, it's even more of a magical experience.

You're like, how am I tasting this when it doesn't feel like it in my mouth?

You know, I was disappointed that I had to share the bowl of pizza bread with my girlfriend.

I thought I could just sit here and eat all this to myself.

Making the dip that was with it was very nice.

I think it might have been an ioli dip, a-o-ali.

Whatever it's called.

I mean, you're definitely closer the first time.

Yeah, yeah.

Rather than Ayo Ali.

I think there was some sage, some, you know, crispy sage leaves in the...

Can I just say this has got to be some extraordinary bread to beat Popadoms?

Yeah.

That's why I'm taking this deadly seriously.

Are you, Ed?

Oh, I am.

Absolutely.

I mean,

I'm also completely wrapped as well because I want to try it so bad.

I think James has described it wonderfully.

I love that he's transported us to a savoury Willy Wonka's factory, presumably Billy Wonka.

And I want to go there and I want to eat those little sticks.

If I was to like do my top 100 Popadoms or breads, it would be this number one and then the other 99 would all be poppadums.

Got you.

Also, what's so adorable?

I hope he hears this, that you ate one of these, did a star jump, and said, just so you know, if anyone ever asked me, this wins.

This wins.

And it has.

And I was so happy with it.

And, you know, it was really difficult in the notes.

I was looking at it and going like...

This doesn't represent me because it makes me sound like a bread boy and I'm a poppadom pal.

But I'm going for it.

So be it.

Yeah, I would love to have that bread again.

Also, in 99,

after 99, you can change it if you want.

I mean, it's now set in stone for the next 100, but...

Yeah, you're a breadboy for 100 episodes now, yeah.

Also, may I ask?

Me and Ed are sitting at the same table, right?

Of course we are.

But you just have different views.

Yeah, that's fair.

That's fair enough.

I've created Edside Brickwork Loud Space Out Atmosphere.

Yeah.

You, pond, sunset.

Huge window.

Lovely.

Well, I would like to try Ed's as well.

Oh, that's lovely.

Oh, yeah.

Of course course it can.

We can dip into each other, Gloria.

You're great friends.

This is the way of the world.

You're in your dream restaurant.

Thank you very much.

Can I say quickly, my honourable munchon was I was going to try and forego bread altogether and have deep-fried olives from Spantino.

Oh, he loves them.

I've never heard of that deep-fried olive.

So Spantino is no longer, I miss Spantino a lot.

It's no longer open.

It's a Russell Norman restaurant who runs Polpo and all of those restaurants.

And I think they do them at Polpo as well.

But they're green olives, stuffed with an anchovy, breadcrumbed, and then deep fried and they are the saltiest thing you will ever eat and absolutely phenomenal delicious also good with your pint of Guinness right exactly perfect for my pint of

forgotten with your

with your still water

here's a big question yeah because I often think this is the most exciting part you're right you're in you're flirting you've got your Guinness you got your rhubarb drink you've had both of you you've had some pizza you look across at each other and you go

here comes our first course.

Yeah.

So, James, what would you have?

Pass.

No, don't you dare do that.

No, I'm just joking at that.

Don't you dare.

I can't even take your job.

I'm not even having that as a joke.

I would have gone.

I would have left.

The whole podcast.

The whole podcast will be over.

I could not do a food podcast with someone who passes as a starter.

And it's not funny because it's not funny.

Didn't even laugh for a joke.

He carried on looking at that.

He didn't even look at the camera.

He looked down at his desk and he was like, nope.

Yeah, no, not having it.

And if you'd passed, I would have got double starters.

And then I would have left the podcast.

Yep.

Wow.

Now, there were some honourable munchions here.

Shout out to Prawns and Watermelon on the Rich Man's Yacht in Sydney.

Of course.

Wow.

May Martin chose it as her starter because she was on the yacht as well.

And the rich man made us, well, his wife in the, she was down in the galley, made us the prawns with the watermelon and the lime juice squeezed all over it.

It was absolutely delicious.

I loved it.

If this was a banquet and not a meal, they'd be on the table.

Because it's the honourable munchant, maybe you could see the rich man sail past on the yacht on the pod

and he could just throw some out.

His wife could just open.

Yeah, you sure you're not tempted?

You lean forward.

You're holding on to the brickwork and opening the door and using one of my bread baskets now emptied to catch the bronze mortarman.

Still attached to your hair, weirdly.

Yeah.

So yeah, he can be under his boat.

Another shout-out is the Carolina Fried Chicken from Cricket.

Of course.

Now, I absolutely love it.

But the only reason it didn't make it in the list is because I've never had actual Keralan Fried Chicken from Kerala before.

And I have to assume that that is the best Kerala and Fried Chicken in the world.

And so what stops me shouting out the Fried Chicken from Cricket is that I kind of know there must be a better version of that dish out there somewhere.

And I really want to try it.

And I nearly chose...

as my starter Kerlin Fried Chicken from Kerala, which I've never eaten before.

Yeah,

but that's a true dream, right?

But I ended up going with something that i have had before and that is the tomato and basil 3.0 for matillia correne in san francisco can you just tell us a lot more because as far as i'm concerned you've just gone you've chosen this is it for another hundred episodes yeah some tomato yes that's that's very much what what i feel like as well claudia i'll be honest i'd have been open to you just having some tomatoes on the table you know what i mean with the flowers just tomatoes lemons like sunny as they have in france big knife some lemons yeah now i'll be honest i'm also going to cut in and and say I was worried with my menu that I was being too specific and it wasn't necessarily accessible to everyone who was listening to the podcast.

And now all of my worries about that have been washed away.

James has beaten you

on every level.

A folded pop-a-dom that we'll never try.

Some chicken from an insect.

Continue.

So.

We're kind of in savory wonka town again.

Well, I'm revisiting Billy Bonker.

Thank you.

So Attila Cren is,

I saw it on Chef's Table the Netflix documentary series

and there was a I don't know if you remember the episode and it's a French lady and her dad died and

she writes poems for every single course and you go in and it's the most pretentious maybe the most pretentious episode of the chef's table and it's all like poetry is on the wall and the menu is written in poetry and it was a very pretentious place however what she can do with a tomato what she can do with a tomato I mean, it came out and they just said it's tomato and basil 3.0.

And I thought, I don't really like tomatoes that much.

Like, tomatoes are okay.

I've had them my whole life.

I've never gone crazy for a tomato.

I don't, I'm not really that bothered.

Oh, my God.

It was like every single, it was small, but when I tell you what was on it, it would sound like it was a massive plate.

like a platter, but it was actually a classic small tasting menu plate.

So there's raw tomato on there, sure, but like the best raw tomato you've ever had.

But before I'd say what's everything on the dish it was like i'd forgotten what tomatoes it's like all my life i'd take i've been eating bad tomatoes that were just watered down and kind of all right and then this was like this is what a tomato tastes like eight caster check this out and it was like the most rich just satisfying exciting vibrant tomato flavors.

It was like I was seeing colors and shapes when I was eating it.

It was amazing.

So one of the things that was on was like tomato raisins were on there.

They weren't actual raisins they were tomatoes but made so it's like had the texture the chewiness of raisins they were like dehydrated tomatoes i guess very delicious there was uh melon gel so there was a bit of melon on there as well this melon gel and this tomato gel this tomato confi uh the raw tomato i think there was some foam on there as well some tomato water which was Again,

it doesn't sound delicious.

It all tasted different as well.

So it was all like, here's every single

element of a tomato.

Yeah, here's every, here's every

like the smart a puree on there.

There's like, but it was like,

it showed you the full range, every brilliant flavor you could get out of this one thing, and it was mind-blowing.

And the textures were amazing.

And I just wanted to keep eating it and eating it.

And I didn't expect it at all at the beginning.

I was like, oh, God, they've given us a tomato.

And I knew she was big into tomatoes anyway.

The chef, Chef Cren.

She loves tomatoes.

And I knew that from the Chef's table episode, but

I just, I get it.

You were in San Francisco, you're having a lovely time.

Tomato sorbet was on there.

But just to be clear, your dream menu, I just want to say this back to you, just so you can hear it.

I can hear it.

And I get it, you were on a plane, you were holding hands, you were having a good time.

We have to go to this place.

There's poetry on the walls, but you are cheating.

Your dream.

restaurant this is your best ever and i was nervous about the fizzy rhubarb beverage, but then you brought me back with pizza sticks.

But what you're saying, it's a plate, tomato and melon gel, tomato sorbet, tomato water.

Yeah.

I mean, have you had other things?

I'm going to jump in and defend James here because I not had that dish, but I know exactly what he's talking about, that when you taste something and the chef has worked magic and reduced something to its true components and made it taste the best it's ever tasted.

I've had

probably slightly similar.

There's a dish at Datera in Bethany Green where they do like a trickle-off salad, but it's with like tomato water and tomato oil and mozzarella and some like basil oil as well.

And it is, it's phenomenal.

You're like, I've never tasted any tomato like this, and I can imagine it was absolutely fantastic.

But yes, Claudia, you're right.

When you do boil it down, James has picked tomato as his starter.

Yes, but here's the thing.

Your reaction, Claudia, is perfectly valid and is part of why it's so amazing.

So I was like you.

I was like, oh, come on.

I don't want a plate of tomatoes.

And then you're like, oh, that's the best thing I've ever had as a starter.

And so if you ate it, you would say, guys, can I redo my off-menu episode?

Because I've got a new favorite starter now.

Because

it blew.

my mind.

And obviously there's Basil in there as well because it's called Tomato and Basil 3.0.

So there's that amazing.

I mean, you can't go wrong with that combination.

That's a dream team.

I would choose tomato and basil over tomato and cheese.

I think it's absolutely amazing.

Well, I was defending you, mate.

So what are you playing at?

Yeah, apologies.

Thank you.

No, I like the fact that it was this magical moment in time and it blew you away.

And I'm happy for you to have that as your starter.

Yes.

You're going to be hungry though, because so far you've had

a bit of rhubarb water.

There it is.

There it is.

Then a tiny little stick.

It's a long time to get a tiny little stick of non-cheese pizza bread with a tiny bit bit of garlic dish.

No, it's a bowl.

It's a bowl of loads of sticks.

Okay.

And then a cherry tomato.

I mean, I'm just...

And then a bunch of tomatoes.

Like a whole

load of tomatoes on a little pizza.

Some more.

Tomato raisins.

You've got to admit, James, you're hungrier than me at this point.

Bearing in mind, I've had a pint of Guinness and a pizza.

Sure, but

I'm always hungry.

I'm always hungrier than that.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

I don't like to be hungry.

Also, in previous episodes before, and this has mainly happened when we've got chefs on, we've let people have a drink for every single course i don't want to argue with you it's your podcast i would like with my starter tomato soup tomato what is it you'll notice how i'm not objecting at all yeah because someone someone's done the same thing

but we haven't we haven't even talked about this we've not conferred but of course we've both got a drink although ed might this is where Ed might get annoyed at me throughout the meal, I'm not sure.

My drink with my starter, I would like the South American smoothie from Tropicana in Melbourne.

Oh my God.

James, you're talking about going to like a high-end tasting menu restaurant and eating this delicate tomato flavor and then you're having a tropical smoothie with it.

Have you tried this smoothie yet?

I've not, but it doesn't go with that starter.

It doesn't go with the delicate.

I'm having it afterwards.

I'm going to eat the starter and then...

No, you need to have it with it.

If you want to order

drinks with every course, you have to pair them with the course.

I'm fine with that.

That's got to be the.

He's happy.

He wants it.

What is in this smoothie?

Why is it so magical?

No one knows what's in it because they won't tell anyone.

Tomatoes.

Full of tomatoes.

Tomato battle.

It's a secret, but it tastes like a giant raspberry petty falou.

It's delicious.

I love raspberry petiti falou.

It's the best smoothie I have ever had.

But it's also got some flavor that's absolutely incredible that I can't put my finger on what it is.

Sugar?

I mean, there's definitely sugar in it, sure.

I mean,

I would hope the chef has put sugar in every single one of my foods on this.

on this list.

If any of these dishes don't have sugar on, I'm walking out.

Well, it's one of the best drinks I've ever had.

I could drink it every day, but as it is, I've only had it twice

when I've been in Melbourne.

And if you do go to Tropicana in Melbourne, you've got to get the South American smoothie, not the South American juice.

Right.

I made that mistake once.

How thick is this smoothie?

Pretty thick.

Okay, but you're going to need a straw for that, just going back on.

I will need a straw for that one, and that's fine.

I love slurping it up in the straw.

It does have a kind of from our tray-y kind of element to it.

It does take...

I wouldn't be surprised if they're chucking petty for loos in there.

And there's loads of fresh fruit in there as well they're definitely adjuicing fresh fruit into it have you thought about these as individual dishes or the whole meal because you are in rhubarb tomato pizza and now petty for loo world and i'm just checking everything's fine everything's great this is everything this is amazing i'm having the best night this is him at his absolute best claudia he's i just wanted to confirm that you're happy i'm looking out at the pond i'm waving at the rich man yeah chucking a watermelon okay that's your your first course.

The most beautiful tomato dish you've ever had in your life.

And I think we're all convinced.

It's amazing.

Followed by quite a thick raspberry yogurt smoothie that somebody's gone to get you from Melbourne.

Fine.

Yes.

Ed, what is your first course?

I am having something that I only discovered fairly recently, but have had it a few times since then.

So, obviously, meal kits, big at the moment.

What with lockdown, a lot of restaurants, a lot of people doing meal kits.

I am absolutely obsessed with oysters always have been i love oysters but i was always very militant about always raw oysters i don't like cooked oysters until i had this this is from a food delivery thing called decateur they are a sort of new orleans style thing where they send you crawfish boils or shrimp boils because you can't get crawfish here uh but the other thing they do is they send you oysters with a pecorino butter, which you put the pecorino garlic butter onto the oysters and then you char grill the oysters and i do them on the barbecue and they are phenomenal they send you so much butter and you put all this pecorino butter onto the top you put the oysters on the half shell onto a very hot barbecue the butter goes into the fire it bubbles up it char grills the sides you just cook the oysters and then you get a spoon and you slurp it out wipe it around with a little bit of bread and it is phenomenal okay he sent me a photo of these when you were putting your menu together if you love oysters that much you just knew you had to have them and this is in the best formation.

This is the best way to have oysters.

I mean, yes, I have some honourable munchions.

Quick shout-out to the Tamworth Belly Ribs from Hawksmoor, the Korean fried chicken from Bone Daddy's, and just a general meat and cheese platter.

Those are all things I considered.

Yes.

But I'm going with the Decatur char-grilled oysters with garlic pecorino butter.

Okay.

I mean, both, if you don't mind me saying, not in a bad way, quite fancy.

Quite chic.

A tomato ensemble.

I do need to add in that I will be having that with a gin martini made with Harris gin with four olives in it.

Thank you.

Oh my god.

Peat five olives?

So you're hammered right now.

Oh, I'm hammered.

You've had a pint of Guinness.

Yeah.

Suddenly you're covered in pizza because you've just rubbed it on your torso.

Yeah.

Then you're playing around with some oysters.

Yeah.

But that makes sense.

And you want a martini.

Oh, and I want a Harris gin martini.

Thank you very much.

With four olives.

Done.

I'm very...

I'm happy with you both.

What I love is there's absolutely no crossover on any level.

No, there is.

There's a tiny bit of pizza bread.

Yeah.

I would also say I'd like, obviously, it's a dream because someone else will be shucking the oysters.

You do have to shuck them yourself.

And I bought an oyster knife.

I think I always knew I was destined to buy an oyster knife.

Yeah.

But I have, every time I've done this, I have spilt blood.

So I would like someone else to shuck for me, please.

Okay.

Well, yeah, this is being brought to you in an exposed wall area next to the pond.

Don't you worry.

It's all being brought to you.

How many would you like?

12, 6?

Last time we did it,

me and my fiancé bought 24 oysters, so we had 12 each.

So

I will have 12.

Okay, and did she love them as well?

Oh, yeah, she loves them as well.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have bought 24.

I would have, well, actually, I would have done, and I would have had 24.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, come on.

Let's not.

What does she think of your whole menu?

Is she happy with it?

I showed it to her yesterday, and she said it sounds nice, but it's completely different to what she would pick.

Good news, though.

All the more for you.

When Ed made those oysters, he sent me a photo of them, and the photo did look incredible.

like that photo was so good i'm surprised it didn't end up on my honorable mentions for my starter that was it looked it looked delicious that those the oysters

And we're back live during a flex alert.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

What a performance by Team California.

The power is ours.

This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad.

OPill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin.

In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot.

But now Opil is putting birth control in our control.

Opil is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen-free, and 98% effective when used as directed.

Grab it online, or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed.

So if you're thinking about birth control, check out OPIL to see if it's right for you.

Use code GIGGLY for 25% off your first month of Opil at O-P-I-L-L.com.

That's codeGIGGLI at O-P-I-L-L.com.

Birth control in your control.

We love to see it.

Raise your hand if you want your nails to look perfect all the time.

Me too.

I'm Sarah Gibson-Tuttle from Olive and June, and this is exactly why we created the Manny system.

We wanted to make it possible for everyone everywhere to give themselves a beautiful manicure at home.

With our tools and our long-lasting polish, each manicure with our Manny system comes out to just $2.

That's right, $2.

No more $30, $40, $50 Mannis that you get at a salon and they take hours.

Now you can paint your nails on your time and love them more than ever.

And by the way, when people ask, who did your nails?

Where did you get them done?

You're going to proudly say, I did them myself.

Get 20% off your first Manning system with code perfectmani20 at olive and june.com slash perfectmanni20.

That's code perfectmani20 for 20% off at olive and june.com slash perfectmanni20.

Time for a sofa upgrade?

Visit washable sofas.com and discover Anibay, where designer style meets budget-friendly prices with sofas starting at $699.

AniBay brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly.

Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out.

Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy.

Liquid simply slides right off.

Designed for custom comfort, our high-resilience foam lets you choose between a sink-in feel or a supportive memory foam blend.

Plus, our pet-friendly stain-resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years.

Don't compromise quality for price.

Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns.

Shop now at washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Dad, you take a buenano, since we have Verizon nos dan cuatro lines for the prescio detres.

De verdad, es como y la quarta linea pora gratis, ok, una para mí other para tumama, una para tí ya cuarta para.

Para minobio?

Excuse me?

Tad, Mira, quiero está en contacto con el todo altiempo.

Asta las vacaciones.

But

the country.

No important.

Well, no vibe with Verizon your telephone también loss and imaginate.

Puede sancer quiamadas textiar así yo esto y contenta.

Yo también.

¿E piece las vacacions y los ahoros con Myplan de Verizon?

Camiette y ya voituna cuerta de lína para qué two quieros por el preso dres por 2 3 dollars por linea el mes en al limbre welcom Europe más impuestos y cargos.

Ademas, use tu telephon en el extranjiro contrabo pas en un pa es eligas three days almost for 10 dollars a la gregaro on my plan.

Visita tutienda Verizon in San Francisco.

Eno dana limita.

Welcome the datas unlimited 5G for GLT.

Podias are temporarily

que los uto trérico grantee.

Una conquesti en Romina de datos national vevelosidad de 2G.

Seraque tenen una linas usita and Mai plan for the three dash de travel pass.

Applicant terminas divisionales.

This is the like if I had a trumpet or if I could play the trumpet, I would right now be blowing it.

because, and if I was there, I'd put the baskets down, but I would come out and make some sort of proclamation.

Because this is the big one, we're farting around, we're having a nice time.

You've had a bit of bread, you've had a couple of drinks, you've had a smoothie, you've, you know, everything's fine.

But this is it.

When you say to your girlfriends, or your parents, or your siblings, your best friends, we're going out for dinner, poof, big plate,

main course.

Ed, what are you having?

That's what we say.

Okay,

this was for me, I think, the hardest one.

Although I don't have any honourable munchions because I think I needed, for my own sake, when I picked this, to reject all other ideas.

I had to go with one thing, otherwise I would have spent too long picking it.

Also, can I just say one thing before you

get that honourable munchants, etc., slightly dilutes the passion

one might have for their choice.

I gave my honourable munchions with the starter because one of those things makes it on to the main.

Because

is it a loophole?

I don't know.

What I've, you know, if you go to an American barbecue restaurant, you can get a platter.

You can select all the meats you want, all the sides you want.

They put it on a cool tray.

You feel like you're in prison, but it's nice.

And you can just, you can dig in.

That's what I'm going to do.

And because it's a dream restaurant, I'm grabbing my tray and I'm selecting my favorite barbecue meat dishes and vegetable dishes from different places that I've been that I love.

Global to pass.

Wait a minute.

You're playing pick and mix.

That's not a main course.

It is a main course.

It's a barbecue meat tray.

It's a, yeah, but suddenly you're throwing in sides.

Let me.

Yeah, of course, because sides are included.

You're right, Claudia.

You're right.

However, again, loopholes within the podcast.

Get it.

Ed's gone global to pass.

And we've let someone do global to pass before.

Yeah.

But this is more coherent than global to pass because it's still a barbecued meat tray it's still everything's of the same type so let me let me talk you through it you can tell me afterwards if you have any issues with it may i say before you say it i'm so happy you've done this because yeah this is basically an honorable munching for me ah great i'm very happy that i could make some of your dreams come true with this james thank you i would also say i don't think i've had the best barbecue in the world because i've not been to Texas.

If any TV commissioners out there would like to commission me for a travel show where I go and try barbecue in Texas, I'd be very on board with that.

So those are here we go.

Presenting that on your own?

No, you can come.

Okay, so I'm having beef brisket and I'm having that from Smokestack in London.

That is the best barbecue restaurant in London ever since Shotgun BBQ shut, which was on Carnaby Street.

Smokestack is phenomenal.

I'm having brisket from there.

I'm having the Tamworth belly ribs from Hawkesmoor.

They're going on there as well.

Pork belly, incredible.

I'm having the beef ribs from Pitque in London.

It's now in the city, I think.

It used to be where Ugly Dumplings was, Carnaby Street.

Again, am I having it?

No,

I'm not going to have the sausage i'm just going to have the brisket the pork belly and the beef ribs uh and then i'm having a range of sauces including the rib man bacon holy fuck sauce few vegetables i'm having the uh cauliflower schawama from bourber and q absolutely incredible it's a char-grilled cauliflower and they put this tahini sauce on it it's amazing that's going on the tray and then i'm not going to go wild with the sides because that does feel like cheating but i'm going to have some cornbread and i'm going to have some pickles including the pitq pickled shiitake's from their recipe book which i made the other day and and they're phenomenal.

And on that tray, I'm also having a bourbon, a Papy Van Winkle bourbon.

Thank you very much.

I mean, I've got to allow it because it feels cohesive.

He wants me.

Thank you.

That's what I was trying to do.

And he wants it on a tray.

And he wants, and that's what he wants.

And he's probably going to eat it with his hands.

I'm not an expert.

But, you know, he wants to, he's tucking in.

He's got open brickwork.

There's some ivy trailing down.

He's sitting opposite one of his best friends.

There's a pond.

And he wants a big old tray of meat.

I want the restaurant as well to stink of meat, Claudia.

I want it to be smoky and stink of meat.

I want my clothes.

I want to have to throw away my clothes in the bin afterwards.

Yeah, chuck them in the skin.

I'm more than all right with this.

However, actually, I'm not completely all right with it.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

I would like to add something to Ed's plate.

Oh, please, sir.

Best beef brisket I've ever had was at Pecan Lodge in Dallas.

I'd love to go there.

I'm very jealous that you've been there.

If I may say to the waiter, excuse me, can you send that over to the man at the table and tell him it's for me?

If we can, yeah, because I've not been there, I didn't feel like I could add it to my dream meal, Claudia.

But because my dining companion has been there,

can we?

Oh, yes, I've got double briskets, brisket.

The beef brisket from Pecan Lodge was one of my honourable mentions.

I was in Dallas for two days and I ate there twice.

Indicative.

Because the first time I went there and had the beef brisket, at that point, it was the best food I'd ever tasted.

And I was going going absolutely gaga and then i went there the next day and i had it again ed all i'm saying is the cauliflower i'm interested in your side dish we'll come on to that later but that is a side dish i mean just as one of your guests

i took it all very seriously like

i know we ended up with a mug situation but that feels not the cornbread i could i'm just saying look i kind of agree with you if we're looking at the tray and we're looking at what's cohesive and what fits my argument would be that bourber and q is a fantastic grill barbecue Middle Eastern restaurant where they cook everything over an open flame.

So that's where I thought it fitted.

But if you would like me to lose that.

No, I can't.

I can't do it to you because of your little face.

You suddenly looked about four.

I can't.

Have it.

Have more cauliflower.

Grill him.

Somebody get an open flame.

Also, we've let people in the past do full course.

We've let people do a full breakfast, a full roast dinner for their main course.

I'm just happy to have given it a shout out.

You know, it's the tahini sauce is just incredible.

And also, I've picked Pappy Van Winkle bourbon because it's the dream restaurant and it's so expensive, Papi Van Winkle.

I've only tried it once in a bar in New Zealand because they had it.

And I thought, I'm away, let's splash out.

But if you wanted to buy a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, they only make so much of it every year and it's thousands of pounds.

They sell them on, they auction them off.

I mean, I'd be just as happy with a bullet, a bullet bourbon, but the Papi Van Winkle for the dream meal, please.

A question, Ed.

Please, James.

Are you happy if on this occasion we change the name to Claudia van Winkleman?

I would be more than happy.

That bottle would be worth even more

because there's an old man on the front normally, Pappy Van Winkle, and I want to see Claudia on the bottle as well.

I want an old man who doesn't touch water on the front.

I think that sounds like a very thrilling main course.

I think you'd be excited about that.

Yes, you've had your pizza and your Guinness, but it's all about just you wait what's coming.

Boof, boom, seven people have to carry it in.

Brisk it away.

away.

Here's a bib.

Let's go.

I've not considered quite how bad I'm going to feel at this point.

I think in my dream restaurant, I can't feel full or ill.

Yes.

Because by this point, I'd be on the floor.

I think that's important.

Of course.

I started with toast and marmite mac and chicken.

I mean,

you've just got to have your very favourite things.

So I think that's fine.

Exactly.

James.

Hello.

You nodded when Ed said this was the hardest one to come up with.

Was this the hardest for you?

Really difficult.

And I was surprised.

I thought dessert was going to be the hardest.

I bet Ed thought Starter was going to be the hardest.

Yeah, I did.

But actually, that was fine.

Again, it's like, you know, I've had more.

I've enjoyed Poppa Doms more than I've enjoyed bread, and yet bread is what I went for.

I've enjoyed desserts more than I've enjoyed main course, and yet I've probably had...

No, it's the other way around.

I say dessert's my favourite out of the two, but I've probably had better main course.

I've had so many good main courses, and it was really hard

to narrow it down.

Brisket from Pecan Lodge is in my notes as a shout-out, as are the skate wing tacos from Cole, which me and Ed had together.

Yes.

where they just bring the skate out and it is so perfectly cooked that you just have get a fork and you're just combing the fish off the bone it just comes off just combing it off and then making the tacos yourself but what i've gone for and i think it's a combination of things if this is ever on the menu anywhere i'm ordering it so just as a dish it's one of my favorite dishes but also

When I had it at this particular place, it's just a lovely memory and one of the just nicest dining experiences I've ever had.

I would like Beef Wellington von von Gastrobar in Amsterdam.

Oh, yes.

I think that's a brilliant choice.

Yeah, it really is.

Beef Wellington crossed my mind as well.

But the one I had a really fun one at Bob Bob Rickard.

But generally, you're right.

Beef Wellington, if it's on a menu, you've got to go for it.

I love it so much.

Why was this one so particularly good?

Because he was having a breakdown.

Because you were having a breakdown.

He was very stoned.

Yes.

Beef Wellington.

I love you.

Edward is right.

Your one is fictional for a laugh.

Edward

is completely on the nose.

But like,

it was a nice moment during a bad patch in my life.

So, like, I'd had a

bad year, an entire bad personal year.

And then I'd gone to Amsterdam

in January the following year to

hang out with my friend who lived there and also work on some music with him for some fun.

But I was staying with him and his girlfriend.

I was very aware that they were not having any time alone because I was around all the time.

So one night I was like, hey, I'm going to go and for a meal tonight.

You guys can have me out of your hair for a bit.

And I just basically just googled, you know, best places to eat in Amsterdam.

And this Ron Gastrobras place looked good.

Also, I wanted it to be roughly an hour, an hour and a half walk because I wanted to have a proper walk.

I hadn't explored enough.

Actually, I had.

I've been cycling around and I'd fallen off my bike, but I wanted to walk.

It was awful.

I went round a corner and it was just ice and the bike just wasn't there anymore.

And I was like, this is really going to hurt.

But I had my iPod in my pocket and I really didn't want to fall on my iPod because I didn't want my iPod to break.

So I chose to land on my knees.

Just directly on my knees.

And then continued to cycle around.

And then I was thinking about how much my knees hurt so much, I got lost.

They don't make iPod classics anymore, but you can get knees.

Yeah, yeah, I can get new knees.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Walked an hour and a half to this place.

In January.

In January.

Got there.

I mean, one of my favorite meals I've ever had as well, alongside Noma for this memorable meals.

The whole meal, you know, the bread there nearly made it.

Actually, the butter was the best butter I've ever had for the bread.

They bought out whipped butter with tiny bits of like puffed pork scratchings in the butter.

Oh my god, it's stuck.

And it was so good.

Like, you know, I'd probably have that butter on the table for my bread course as well if I was allowed that.

That's fine.

And I ordered the beef wellington.

I was really hungry.

Ordered the beef Wellington and the waiter warned me and said, This is for two.

This beef wellington is for two.

I was like, Yeah, I'm ordering it.

You've had quite a year, mate.

Bring it.

Yeah, believe, believe you, me, sir.

I'm having that beef wellington.

And I did not regret it.

It was just the most delicious.

And like, beef wellington's like, you know, I think there's something about a beef wellington, and I think I've told the story on the podcast before, but when I was first in New Zealand, I was on a tour with a bunch of other comics, and we stopped at this one place to have a meal.

And we ordered a beef wellington between us all, and it was so good.

And afterwards, one of us said, Oh, I'd really like another one of them.

And most of us, we were all English, apart from one guy who was Australian.

And the rest of us were like almost fantasizing about what if we ordered another one.

Oh, wouldn't that be a nice world?

And the Australian guy went, Well, let's order another one.

And we were like, We can do that.

It's like, didn't even cross our mind to do it.

And he just was like, Yeah, we're ordering another one.

And the second one was even better than the first because we were like, We're living life.

We're doing it.

We ordered two beef wellingtons.

I think that might be an australian thing you know because i don't know if i've told this story in the podcast before the australian comedian damien clark has completely changed my life when we flew we were flying to dubai to do gigs and it was 10 in the morning and the uh the air hostess came round and went uh would you like a drink and i went oh no thank you and demo went whiskey and coke please

and i went demo what are you doing it's 10 a.m he went never say no on a travel day

it completely changed my life now i i whenever i'm flying anywhere whenever i'm doing international travel i never say no and do you always think of demo every time you always think of demo saying never say no on a travel day yeah like that kind of stuff when someone else does it and you go of course yeah we should be doing that yeah so when the person said this beef wellington is for two i was like you don't know me mate what's your point tom gleason taught me always have two beef wellingtons so

send me two please and it was the best beef wellington i've ever had the one that i had with the comics in new zealand is a very close second.

It was incredible.

But this one described rare beef, crisp pastry.

Perfectly cooked.

So if you basically, with a beef wellington, I want it that if you took the beef out of the Wellington on its own, it would be an incredible steak.

Yeah.

You don't want it to just be like where the beef secondary for is about the whole dish and people will just like, they'll like it.

Who cares?

The steak on its own would have been one of the best steaks I've ever had.

There's this amazing beef.

Rare, delicious.

The sauce, and it's always like the surprise kind of like star of the Beef Wellington is the sauce.

But then I guess that's where you get a lot of the flavor from.

But just the mushroom.

I think it's like a mushroom-y kind of sauce around the outside of the bottom.

She's girl, I believe the word is.

Oh, that was exquisite.

So flavourful.

That was what I was mainly thinking about on the walk home.

And the pastry, perfectly flaky golden pastry on the outside.

And I took a photo of it.

It was my phone wallpaper for months on end.

I just look at it all the time and figure out how delicious it was, how much I loved it.

Can you believe that the year that James had Beef Wellington as his phone wallpaper wasn't the bad year?

Yeah, that's exactly right.

But it was a magical night.

It was the beginning.

It was something new was happening.

Yeah, I felt something new was happening.

I didn't order dessert because I was full.

That's like, you know, amazing that one of the best meals I've had.

Well, I didn't order dessert, but as I left, they just handed me a mini ice cream

that I wasn't expecting.

Just on the way out the door, they're like, there you go.

I was like, oh, oh, my God.

My life is really turning round here james remembers things like that like that would have affected james a lot being handed a mini ice cream he would have gone back to his friends and gone and they handed me a mini ice cream and his friend would have been quite rightly like oh yeah that's that sounds nice and then the next morning james would have got up and gone did i tell you i don't

have a mini mini ice cream We went to New York.

We went to New York beginning of last year and we'd been previously on the previous trip.

James spent all day going, I'd really like hot mulled cider.

just all day kept saying that and then we were in a shop

looking at some coats or something and a woman who worked there came over and went hi would you we're doing some hot mold cider today would you would you like a mug for free and James was like what

like but didn't stop talking about it for the rest of the holiday like just kept going

do you remember do you remember I said I wanted cider and then the woman gave me cider.

It was in a cloves shop.

You've got to understand.

You know,

we've been in loads of pubs where I've said, I hope they do hot mold cider here, and they never did.

I was like, Oh, they're never gonna have it.

And then we went into a clothing store in the daytime, and a lady came up and went, Would you like a hot mold cider?

Like, this must be a weird dream I'm having where I'm getting my locations wrong.

But it wasn't.

I didn't even buy anything from the shop.

I just had a free hot mold cider, didn't even have to pay for it.

And I walked out and I was so happy.

I think about that all the time.

I think about the free mini ice cream I had on the way on the walk home.

Yeah, I really needed a shit because

I'd eaten so much food and it was like, I'm not going to make it home.

I knew I wasn't going to hit it.

Yeah, I was like, there's no way I'm making it to my friend's house.

And also, if I do, I don't want to drop this shit in his house because I know it's going to be bad.

Yeah, that sort of takes away from the nice gesture, doesn't it?

Of going, like, I'll leave you to have some time with your girlfriend, and then you get back and drop a massive beefy.

Massive beefy shit for him.

So, like, I was like, this is going to be, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's in the chamber, but you can feel it.

It's letting you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's going, I'm going to be a bad one.

And so I went into this pub.

Release me.

I was like, I'm going to do a shit in this pub.

I don't care.

I walked in and no one was in there.

It was empty.

So the owner, but the owner was on the phone and he just watched me walk in, go to the toilet, be in there for longer than it took to have a piss and then come out.

So I thought, oh, I feel bad now.

So I went and ordered a drink and I asked for something local and he poured me a sour beer.

I've talked about this on the podcast before, I think.

I'd never had sour beer before.

And drinking that sour, it was the most refreshing, delicious drink I'd ever had at that point and it was after this most amazing meal and then i had this i suddenly was like oh i love sour beer let's not beat around the bush an amazing shit an amazing shit an amazing walk and then sour beer after it was so

so good i've never even heard of sour beer oh i've not had one that's been as good since i've had a lot of sour beers since and actually they're too much for me

The first mouthful is brilliant and then it's like, oh, no, I can't drink this whole thing.

I feel sick.

That one, whatever it was, and I don't even know the name of it, but that one from the pub, I had a shit in.

If they were a member of the,

do you want that with the with the matron?

I was going to ask that because you were allowed bourbon.

What are you having with the beef wellington?

If you say a tropical smoothie, I'll burst into tears.

So

think about this.

I think I do want that sour beer from the pub.

I had other ones written down.

Yeah, I'm going to go for that.

I'm going to go for the sour beer because I think that whole experience of the beef Wellington Wellington and then that sour beer on the way home, those two things were life-changing.

So, yeah, I've got to go for it.

That's the dream team.

If you don't mind me saying, two brilliant, brilliant main courses.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's a testament as well to James that I would happily sub out my main course to try his as well.

Oh, well, and Ed's chosen an honourable muncheon of mine.

There you go.

And I've added my honourable muncheon to his dish.

Yeah.

There you go.

You just threw something in.

You've got your beef Wellington, your sour beer, you're by your pond.

There's still the rich man tossing up watermelon and prawns.

You've had some tomato, you've had a tropical smoothie.

What do you want on the side, James?

What do you want on the side?

This was also quite difficult actually.

Honourable Muncheons.

The vegetarian version of the rice cakes from Mission Chinese in New York.

I think Ed would probably prefer the meaty ones, the more smoky ones.

The triple cooked bacon one.

Yeah, but

I prefer the vegetarian one.

I think that's one of the best side dishes I've ever had.

This is something else that we've mentioned on the podcast many times, this next honorable mention.

Wasabi King Prawns from Tow Tows You, circa 2016 to 2018, before they changed the sauce.

Love it.

It's quite specific and I'm into it.

When they changed the sauce, you know, I mentioned it on the podcast.

And then the next time I went in, the guy came over to me and was like, how was the source?

I still ordered the king prawns because I still live in hope they're going to be as good as they were back in the day.

And he asked me how the prawns were.

And I said to him, They were nice.

Have you changed the source?

And he went, Aha, Gamble said we changed the source.

And then he showed me on his phone the podcast, and I realized that he thought that Ed was me on the podcast.

Oh, that's hilarious.

So at least we can finally iron this out.

If the man from Tao Taju is listening, that's James saying you've changed the source.

I do not believe you've changed the source.

Well, he confirmed they'd changed it to me.

Oh, right.

Okay, I believe you changed the source, but I don't care.

Yeah, you're still happy.

It gets an honorable mention, but it'd have to be 2016 to 2018.

But my side dish is the Berkswell put in for Maulis in Soho.

Oh, yes.

Wait, what is it?

Talk me through it.

Ed's so happy he's just falling off his chair.

I was sitting next to Ed when I first ate a perky during the podcast.

Simon Rogan came on this podcast and then invited us to his Soho restaurant for

it was an evening where they were trying out some new dishes, right, Ed, and stuff like that.

I think so, yeah.

And, you know, me and Ed have been lucky enough to be invited to a couple of those by chefs who have been on the podcast.

And often

it's like the guests are a top chef, a top food critic, and then two idiot comedians

who are finishing all of their wine every single course and picking.

And the chef will occasionally sneak us some extra stuff because we're going absolutely crazy for it.

We're basically on the kids' table.

Yeah, going, whoa, and making those noises.

We're going, die, that's hard, damn, that's everyone else is like, you know, chin strokey and stuff.

And we're like, heads are spinning.

It was a mouthful, just a single mouthful, if you're greedy boys like us.

And it was, was, I guess, a bread and butter pudding, but savoury with like this cheese.

Berkswell cheese, isn't it?

I think it's Berkswell cheese, yeah.

It's amazing cheese for it.

And the bread is like croissants, right?

Wow.

Yeah, it's like croissant dough type stuff.

I mean, it is phenomenal.

And it's one little cube and it's very rich.

So I think they do one little cube because that's all you need, really, if it's part of a big meal.

But like James says, we're very greedy.

So the chef Tom Barnes, shout out to Tom Barnes, had to sneak us an extra portion each across the table which was difficult because it's very much an open kitchen scenario so everyone saw him doing it yeah people weren't happy at the end of the meal when they discovered we'd had two of those they were like what but it sounds delicious it melts in the mouth yeah and it is one of those food experiences where yeah like nothing was happening it inside my head it was just me going holy moan it made me close my eyes and out loud vocalize how amazing it was and I was glad that there weren't many people in there and it was just a few of us at a table Because if it was a big full restaurant, everyone would have gone, like, when Harry met Sally over there on that table, what's going on?

I would have happily, if they said, and that's all you're having tonight, is constantly one after the other.

We're just going to bring these out.

You'd have gone fine.

I'd have been like, Yep, sign me up for that.

It's got some really weird stuff in it as well.

That, you know, I'm sure it all contributes to the taste, but I would never go, oh, that's what I liked about it.

So it's got birch sap on it.

I'm just looking it up now.

It's like truffle-y, and it's soaked in like birch sap.

And then they grate the Barkswell cheese over the top.

Sounds amazing.

You had me a croissant dough.

Yeah.

So good.

Again, I'd eat that every day.

Yeah.

If it was available, I'd eat it every day.

Once a day, I would have wanted to like, you know, go two nuts, but it was just so good.

And I've only had it that once, you know.

Which makes it even more special.

So yeah, a lot of these are things that I've had once and haven't, you know, haven't been able to go back and have them again.

And I really, I just...

think about it so much I don't really want to eat them again.

Okay.

I was very lucky that one of the chefs at Aulis, Ollie Marlow, sent me the Aulis Aulis home meal kit.

And I noticed on the website that an optional extra is to add that Buxwell pudding to have a home.

And he brought the meal round.

It was delicious.

It was so good.

And I opened the bag and there was no Buxwell pudding in it.

And I thought for a second about getting it back and complaining, but then I realised it was a lovely gift and you can't really do that.

This is all well and good, mate.

But...

Yeah, where's the best gift?

So that's a very successful side dish, James.

And Ed, you'd be happy.

Maybe I'll bring over enough for both of you.

Yeah, please.

I've just realised two things.

One is that I said I'd never had any of these things more than once, but the beef wellington, I went back a few days later and got it again.

And I bought my friend with me.

That was the excuse.

And the waiter came over, and it was a different waiter than the one I'd had before.

And the waiter came over and immediately said, so.

you're the person who had the beef wellington to themselves the other day.

So

that had got around the kitchen.

Also, with my side dish, I would like a rose smash from Hoppers to drink.

A delicious cocktail from Hoppers.

It's got rose vermouth in it.

And again, one of those inexplicable flavours.

I'd really struggle to, I mean, I guess it's just the Rose Vermouth is the main flavor in it and what it tastes like.

But I haven't tasted anything like it anywhere else.

It's a real, can't put my finger on it.

Flavour.

It comes in a lovely cold metal cup.

And it's probably the best cocktail I've ever had anywhere.

Wow.

I really love it because it's delicious.

I want that with my main course.

You know, I mean, I'm thinking that maybe the Rose Smash, because you bought up, you know, what would go better with stuff, maybe would have gone better with my starter, and then maybe the fruit smoothie I would have with my side.

I tell you, what I like about this is I didn't know we were going to do a drink with the side dish as well, because then obviously, after the side dish, we're coming on to drink the drink, which I guess we're having individual drinks with all of the courses and another main drink that's being brought to us throughout the meal.

Is that right, James?

Yes, it's gonna fall into the pond, Ed.

Okay, side dish.

Again, a fairly recent thing for me.

There is a Chinese restaurant in Clapton called Lucky and Joy.

It is an absolute delight.

I've got delivery from there multiple occasions in the last year or so.

And one of their side dishes that they're known for, one of their dishes, are simply called sesame noodles.

I've picked this because it packs such a sesame punch.

It's cold as well.

And I thought a cold side dish might go nicely.

They're egg noodles, but with a sort of creamy sesame sauce.

It looks very simple.

It is very simple, but it tastes absolutely delicious.

I love sesame flavor.

And this is just the perfect side dish for me.

But I am going to have it with a little bowl on the side of crispy chili oil

that I can use if I feel like it.

And it's specifically Laugen Ma Krispy Chili Oil.

It's the jar with the lady on the front.

Okay.

Do you know what?

I've had cold sesame noodles before.

I'd forgotten they were the best thing I've ever eaten.

I only had it once.

Definitely.

And I had it in New York.

And they have it a lot.

And they're just freezing.

They're sort of not freezing cold.

They're almost peanut buttery and sesame and just...

yeah, exactly, exactly.

They're so good.

And I always feel like ordering just that from them.

But they have some amazing other dishes.

But I do just want to call them up and go, send me the biggest vat of sesame noodles you can.

Bathful.

Well, maybe add a little bit of chili oil to it.

Just a bath full of those sesame noodles.

Incredible.

I don't have a great story surrounding it about how I had a hard year.

I had a great year because I was eating sesame noodles.

He's had a lot of great years, Ed has.

Again, I'm very happy that Ed has chosen because, like, I love love sesame as a flavor.

I think it's so good and underrated.

People forget it a lot.

People forget how good sesame stuff is.

And I'm just glad it's made an appearance on Ed's menu.

I haven't been able to put it into my...

Yesterday, when I was doing my cook-along with my mum, with his sesame oil.

And I told my mum a story that I was like, I told her the story about sesame oil and was like, if the grape bonito was here, that would get edited out of tonight.

Because she was like, I haven't got any sesame oil myself, but the recipe says sesame oil.

So I said, I've got sesame oil, mum.

Actually, it's funny, you know, when I first moved to London, like over 10 years ago, I had that Jamie Oliver cookbook.

And the first thing I learned to cook from it, it had sesame oil in the recipe.

And I had to go out and buy all the ingredients.

And I bought sesame oil, and it was the only oil I had in the house for a while.

Wow.

That was the story, was me going,

me saying to her, because

I said it was the first time I'd ever bought oil, mum.

So like, I actually thought that sesame oil was like, that must be the main oil and would be in loads of my meals.

And I didn't know that olive oil and sunflower oil were, you know, people liked more than vegetable oil.

You know, sesame oil is actually quite rare, isn't it?

The brilliant thing about mums is she loves you so much, she would have been fascinated by that story and might have told one of her friends today.

I did a cook-along with James.

I'm very proud of him.

He's wonderful.

After that year he had when he ended up at the beach button and turned him around.

You're not going to believe the only oil he had in his house.

James used to think that sesame oil was the main oil.

Did everyone know that?

She used to think sesame oil was the main oil.

It was a success.

You wouldn't know.

We're doing a cook-along next week.

Oh, God.

Mums.

Look, shout out to Rice Brussels Sprouts.

Yeah.

Just general shout-out to Rice Brussels Sprouts.

And shout out to the Xianbing dumpling from Zhu in Soho, which is a wonderful Taiwanese restaurant.

But they do a little pork dumpling, which is almost in like pastry.

It's like a pastry dumpling.

It's like a little pie with minced pork in it, which is phenomenal.

And that is one thing I will always double order.

because my fiancé will always be like, we've ordered too much food again.

I'll be like, well, I'm going to prove you wrong.

I'm going to eat all of this and then I'm going to order more of those till it comes out of my ears.

Yes, exactly.

Uh, and to drink with that, please, I would like a little bastard wine.

What's that?

Oh, it is a wine, it's by a producer called Staffelterhoff, uh, a German producer.

It's a Riesling and Muscat blend, I believe.

Maybe Sauvignon Blanc in there as well.

Me and James first had it at the other fancy chef thing we were invited to by a wonderful uh chef called Santiago Lastra,

who uh runs Cole, who make those skate tacos.

And he had a house in Acton, which he turned into an industrial kitchen to test dishes in and would host dinner parties there.

And we got invited there.

And he said, this is, it's the first time I'd had natural wine, I think.

And he said, this is little bastard wine.

I've never tasted anything like it.

It is, it's kind of sweet.

It's got a lot of stone fruit flavor to it, but it's a Riesling.

So it's very good with spicy Asian foods.

That's why I'm putting it with these noodles.

And now I'm obsessed with it.

Most wines I will have and be like, that was delicious.

I'll move on and try some other wines.

This is a wine I buy on a regular basis.

I've got Nishikumar into it.

Nishkumar now buys magnums of it and drinks them by himself.

Everything's fine, guys.

Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

It's fairly low alcohol.

It's like 11%.

Like some natural wines are lower alcohol, which is why I like them because you can properly guzzle them.

So I would like a chilled little bastard with my sesame noodles, please.

Done.

Again, we were sat on the kids' table on that as well.

Me, Ed, and Professor Green.

i don't mean to be down on anything but i feel like you've drunk a lot

so now i'm going to ask you but this is the restaurant where you can't get to hammered you can't get to full you're in your dream restaurant there's the pond there's the brickwork everything's fine good atmosphere spaced out happiness sharing sides what is your drink ed i'm asking you Well, I love red wine.

I think red wine is

probably my favourite drink.

So we're going with red wine.

I am not too specific about grapes that I like.

I like a heavier red wine normally.

I would probably say a Californian Cabernet Sauvignon is the way to go because I also think I've had a lot of nice Californian cap salves, if I may, I will.

Because they remind me of good times, especially holidays with James, actually.

Like even like we went to America at the beginning of 2020.

We went to New York in 2017

and we ate in some nice restaurants and we had some, just some lovely tasting Californian wines.

And I don't have a specific one that I want.

I just want that.

I mean, I like Pinot Noir.

I like Beaujolais.

I like all that sort of thing.

But just a fruity,

jammy, oaky, tobacco-y Californian Cabernet Sauvignon.

And I will have the whole bottle to myself.

Thank you.

Done.

It's being brought to the table.

James.

I'd have been disappointed if Ed didn't choose that, to be frank.

If he didn't choose a whole bottle of wine to himself, I would have been like, right, who are you trying to kid?

Come on, gum.

I am going to choose the first alcoholic drink I ever liked.

Oh, this is excellent.

Because I didn't like alcohol at all for a long time.

I didn't like getting drunk for even longer.

It wasn't until my late 20s when I thought actually getting drunk is fun.

But like, I just didn't like the taste of any alcohol.

Then, when I was, I think, late teens, early 20s, I could drive.

So the very small window of time in my life when I was driving, a bunch of my friends went to Newquay for like a holiday and I was going down just for a a couple of days just to see them all.

And I went on the day that they went to a cider farm and I don't like cider now.

I don't drink cider at all because it was the first, I think it was the first alcoholic drink that I was like sick from, you know, I got so drunk I was sick and now I can never go near it.

Should say the mold cider in the clothes shop was how the Americans refer to mulled cider as it's not alcoholic, it's just apple juice.

It was a warm apple juice and I loved it.

I can't believe the lady came up to me in the clotheshop.

What I've been asking about.

I mean, obviously, I'm expecting that at my dream meal, at some point, the lady from the clothes shop does come out

and surprises me with a mold cider.

She's right here.

She's ready.

Yeah.

So at any point during the meal, I would like the lady from the clothes shop to come out and just say, would you like a mold cider?

And then I can be amazed and tell Ed, she's here as well.

Go to get the mold cider for free.

But we went on this tour of a cider farm and this drink, even though I don't want any cider again for the rest of my life, I would want this one.

Throughout the whole tour, they were giving us little samples of different ciders they did there and things like that and none of it grabbed me.

I didn't really care about any of it and I was quite gutted that I had visited my friends on the day that they decided to go on a boring tour of a cider farm.

And then on the very last, the very last bit of the tour they said this is our vintage cider and it was cider that was kept in whiskey barrels so that the flavor of the whiskey gets into the cider and I had the sample and again just another well, this is the best thing I've ever had.

It's sweet, but it's also got this like the flavor of the whiskey was really there.

Like, you could, it was, it's not like some stuff that go, it's kept in whiskey barrels, and you drink it and go, well, so what?

I can't taste whiskey in it.

Why have you even told me that?

The whiskey had properly infiltrated the cider, and I loved it so much that I then bought a load of bottles of it, more than I could have drank myself, because I was like, oh,

this drink is so good, I'll bring it back for my family.

I was still living with my parents at the time, went home, said, I've bought you all bottles of this vintage cider.

Everyone went, we don't like cider.

So then I had had like 10 bottles or whatever.

And because at the time I wasn't a drinker, I didn't, you know, like going out and getting drunk and getting on it.

So I just saw the cider like I did any other drink.

And I just had it, I had it for breakfast.

Like most mornings with my Weetabix and stuff, I'd pour myself a glass of this vintage cider, which was the most delicious drink I'd ever had.

And it was so good, like, you know, really wakes the tongue up in the morning.

And I've never been able to have it since.

I don't even know what the name of the cider farm was.

I don't know what the name of the...

But that specific vintage cider from that cider farm in Nuke, I'm really gutted that I don't know.

And I've tried to Google it.

I've tried to find, you know,

I don't know if maybe there's some, maybe you are better luck than me, but it was the first time I ever liked alcohol and I never got drunk on it either.

I never drunk so much that I got drunk.

I would literally just have it like I'll have a glass of apple juice in the morning and then go about my day.

I'm annoyed that I didn't keep the bottle, you know?

Like nowadays, I'd probably keep the bottle with a label on it and be like, or take a picture at least.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Back then it was, I didn't have a camera phone.

I would have been mad if I'd got my actual camera and took a photo of that bottle.

People would have been like,

what are you doing?

And we're back live during a flex alert.

Dialed in on the thermostat.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

Clutch move by the home team.

What's the game plan from here on out?

Laundry?

Not today.

Dishwasher?

Sidelined.

What a performance by Team California.

The power truly is ours.

During a flex alert, pre-cool, power down, and let's beat the heat together.

This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad.

OPill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin.

In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot.

But now, OPIL is putting birth control in our control.

OPIL is a daily birth control that's FDA-approved, full prescription strength, and estrogen-free, and 98% effective when used as directed.

Grab it online, or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed.

So, if you're thinking about birth control, check out OPIL to see if it's right for you.

Use code GIGLI for 25% off your first first month of opil at opio giggly at opil.com birth control in your control we love to see it

guys is it all right with you at this juncture I know you don't often do it at this juncture I'm gonna read your menu back before you reveal the finale.

Sure.

Should we do it?

Yeah.

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay, James, your menu first.

Corston press, rhubarb flavour, in a jug, centre of the table, crushed ice, no straws.

Yes, please.

And the crushed ice is made of Corsten Press.

There you go.

Then you went to a pop-up restaurant, which didn't have a bathroom, but you went next door to something called dairy.

Never mind that.

You had pizza bread sticks that didn't have cheese on, but they blew your mind.

On the table, late edition, you would like some whipped butter.

that you'd had at a different restaurant that made you cry in amsterdam you're gonna have the whipped butter there with bits of pork scratchings then you are gonna to follow this with what can only be described as a celebration of tomato plate that you had in San Francisco.

I don't know what else happened to you that day, what your nighttime shenanigans were like, but it's lodged in your head as the best thing you've ever eaten.

And we have to take your word for it.

There was tomato sorbet, there was gels, there was tomato in every different shape or form.

It suddenly introduced you to the world of tomatoes.

Yes.

With that, you would like a tropical smoothie, not juice, that's important.

That reminds you of a raspberry petit for loo, which can only be found in Melbourne.

Yes.

Steal?

South American smoothie.

There you go.

Then you're going to have a beef Wellington, where it was delicious.

The sauce was delicious.

You can have it for two if you want.

Bring it to the table.

The pastry crisp.

Outstanding.

You'd like that with the sour beer.

You don't remember the name, but you did have it in a pub you had to stop at because you were going to soil yourself.

Yes.

Then, on the side, you'd like a, what can only be described as a savoury croissant bread and butter pudding that's covered in sap, but was delicious.

It's very rich.

Let's call it a Berkswell pudding.

Like that on the side.

And with that, if anyone's still with me, you would like, as a beverage, a rose vermouth cocktail that, as you say, is like nothing you've ever eaten before.

Then, followed by this, so you've got tomato in there, you've got a smoothie, you've got some crushed ice, you've got some pizza bread sticks, sticks, hold the cheese, you've got the Wellington, you've got the sour beer, you've got the bread and butter pudding, and then two portions, please.

And then you'd like a rosé vermouth cocktail from somewhere called Hoppers or Holly's, or never mind, let's not focus on that.

You would then like some vintage cider, which you used to drink with your Weetabix.

Yes,

and uh, also, at some point during that, I'd like to be surprised by a mold cider by the lady from the clothes shop.

Yeah, she's coming out regularly, basically, just to take your temperature before you reveal your pudding ed are you ready i'm so ready i've led you to the table you're meeting your friend he wants to be next to the water you want to be in somewhere with full atmosphere butt spread out atmospheric as open brick you are going to start with a pint of guinness just drawn

then You are going to have a big thing of pizza bread laced with marmite and cheese.

And you're going to tuck into that and i'm happy with that are you happy with that so happy good then you move into oysters they've got a special pecorino butter you are not going to chuck them yourself somebody's going to come introduce yourself they're going to be your personal chucker for the night this is your dream restaurant yes you have 12 you can have 24 you can share them with your friend go nuts with your oysters your plethora of oysters you are having a harris gin martini with specifically four olives but you're not hammered you're absolutely fine you've had the guinness you've had some oysters They've soaked something up as if.

Then you're moving on to what can only be described as a meat feast.

It's a barbecue tray that seven people have to hold.

On there, you've got brisket, you've got ribs, you've got pork belly, you've also got some cornbread in case you're not full.

And then you've also got some cauliflower that's been barbecued open flame

with tahini, which doesn't totally fit, but we'll let you have it because it is yours.

With that, you would like the bourbon that costs thousands and thousands of pounds, but just a small glass of it.

That's absolutely fine.

Yeah, I want to use the word periwinkle.

The Claudie Van Winkleman, thank you.

On the side, you're going to have some cold sesame noodles because that makes sense.

It goes well with it.

No, it does.

With some crispy chili oil in a little dish.

And with that, you would like some little bastard wine, which is like a wine you've never drunk before.

It's blown your mind.

You've drank it.

You've introduced it to somebody called Nish, who's now drinking Magnums alone.

I think you should both call him after this.

And then you would like a heavy yet fruity but a delicious red wine, preferably a Californian Cabernet Sauvignon.

You've shared it together.

You went to New York, you went to LA.

This is the situation.

Those are your menus.

Is everyone happy?

Very happy.

So happy.

Great.

I feel like I've made a really good account of myself for myself.

Good.

Yes.

That's the most important thing.

You've got everything covered.

Meat, oysters, Guinness, Marmite bread, cold noodles, two different kinds of wine, bourbon, and why not?

Throw in a martini.

Good.

I've got a problem.

I'm going to have to look after my friend tonight after this meal.

Lockdown has been hard on us all.

So, what are you, Ed Gamble, having for pudding?

Okay.

So, obviously, the worry here is that...

If I do say cheeseboard, there's going to be some serious ruptions.

I'm delighted with the cheeseboard.

How are you?

Are you seriously even considering it?

Look.

I can't believe you'd be even taught.

Of course, look, I considered having a cheese board for my starter to get it out of the way.

But then I thought, no, there's so many other things.

I wanted the oysters.

And also, I didn't want to pick a cheese board straight away because then James would be relaxed.

You know, then he's not hanging on tentative.

But you want to end with cheese.

You don't want to start with Gorgonzola.

Exactly.

You want to end with cheese.

But then, when I was putting together my barbecue meat tray that has to be carried by seven people

i thought realistically what's the worst thing to have after that and it's probably a plate of cheese worst thing to have after anything really james you're about to get your way here mate because so help me god i will pick i will pick a cheese board if you annoy me yeah even in this dream restaurant where i can't get full i can't feel sick i wouldn't fancy a big hunk of cheddar A big hunk of cheddar after a big hunk of brisket.

I just don't, I just don't think I could do it.

It's too much fat.

It's too much savory fat.

Obviously, it's a dessert.

I'm going to have loads of sweet fat instead.

This was harder for me than I thought it was going to be.

I have a lot of honorable muncheons,

including one that Claudia hates the honorable muncheons.

I don't.

But it takes away the thrill.

It's like saying, I will have sex with you, but do you mind if I just lick the neck of your four friends?

Like, you've got to choose who you're having sex with.

Right.

Hey, some people are down with that.

But you go ahead.

It's 2021.

Come on.

Including, there's one of my

honorable muncheons, which I think James would have thought I might have picked as my dessert, but I'm not going to pick it because I was worried that he was going to pick it.

And as everyone who listens to this podcast knows, I hate ordering the same thing as other people on the table.

I will often change my order if people pick the same as me because I don't think that's the point of going to a restaurant.

Well, Ed, let me tell you, it's also in my honourable munchions, and it is not.

Oh my God.

It didn't make it.

So, I mean, that is a disaster because what should I know?

I'm not going to switch it.

Honourable Munchions.

The French toast from Shak Fu Yu.

My mum's rhubarb crumble with cheap vanilla ice cream, peanut butter pie from Flavor Town, a plate of Colin the Caterpillar, but only the faces and asses.

Yes.

Love that.

Pizza Express chocolate fudge cake or carrot cake.

All in my Honourable Munchions.

But the winner is the second visit to Hawksmoor in my menu.

It's the peanut butter shortbread with salted caramel ice cream.

It is the first time I started going to restaurants properly and really discovered a love for restaurants.

I went to Hawksmoor with some friends and I picked that.

I don't think I'd really had peanut butter in a dessert very often.

The shortbread's incredible.

It's got just enough peanut butter, but not super sweet peanut butter like in American desserts.

And then the salted caramel ice cream is just an amazing way to top it off.

I'm having that for my dessert.

And with it, I would like an espresso martini.

Why not?

I mean, Ed, I'm so happy with your menu.

I would like an espresso martini because it's the perfect way to end a meal, especially if you're if you're going on somewhere else or walking home.

Just to give you, I think I'm going to need that boost to get out from under the table at this point good i think that you've chosen excellent pudding excellent i've never had it but i'm going to thank you i mean it's fantastic that's been always been on the menu at hawksmoor it's so so good and i love i i couldn't get through this menu without a shout out to peanut butter i eat peanut butter every day i love it yeah also i've never ed always talks about hawksmoor always recommends it i've still never been i've never been oh mate and i hear it's amazing I kind of wouldn't want to go without Ed at this point.

I'd want to go and be Ed's guest.

Yeah, you're welcome.

You're very very welcome.

When lockdown ends, you two should go and post photographs.

Thank you.

James, you've had tomatoes, just bevy.

You've had whipped butter.

You've had rhubarb drinks.

You've had beef Wellington.

You've had rose vermouth.

You've had vintage cider.

You've had a pudding made of croissant dough.

How is this ending?

If we both have an honourable mention that's the same, can we get it for the table?

I feel like we've broken so many rules.

You at this point have both had about 10 drinks each.

Do it.

If you both, if you really need it.

So I'd like to order the Shat Fu Yu French toast for the table, please.

Thank you, James.

So that we can both share that.

A lot of honourable munchions here for me.

The headline of the Honourable Munchins would be something I had at Noma.

And I'm hesitant to say it because I think Claudia's going to go nuts and be a bit angry about this.

It doesn't sound like it would taste nice.

Tomatoes.

Crispy cod skin in white chocolate.

Oh, stop it.

James, can I just say, no one expected this.

I'm supposed, I'm like the slightly snobby food guy, right?

Who talks about high-end stuff a lot and memories of going to Michelin star restaurants.

You know, and I worry about that sometimes, especially on a podcast that's supposed to be everyone to be able to listen to and be able to try the things we talk about.

You have basically.

There's Michelin stars absolutely coming out your ass on this menu.

I'm really, I'm taken aback.

I've got to be honest about what has tasted the nicest.

No, I think you do.

Look, absolutely, you should be it's just surprised me that you're the guy doing sometimes we get people on this podcast food critics and there's only been two of them but at some point they'll always make a point of like saying the best food they ever had was something from like you know a greasy spoon cafe and

i'm sitting there going horse mate

absolute bollocks you've eaten at the best most high-end restaurants in the world there's no way that i mean i'm going to call out grace dent on this i think i think i think i think she said chips from a chip shop with curry sauce on it as one one of her.

She's not wrong.

Oh, it's nice.

But of the best things that Grace Dent's ever eaten, I was like, yeah, okay, pull the other one, Dent.

The rest of my honourable munchons for this are not as cut.

So that cod skin cooked with white chocolate is amazing.

I'd also shout out Smash from Norway, Marks and Spencer's pineapple tarts that Simon Rogan told us to have, banana jam pie from Chinchin, banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery in New York, Chubby Hubby Ben and Jerry's ice cream, Trader Joe's frozen banana slices, and any giant toasted marshmallow.

I like it.

They're my other honorable muncheons, but none of these are my dessert.

And I nearly tried to do it that I was having all of them.

I nearly tried to do it that I would have the global to pass of desserts and just have all of them together.

So I thought desserts are my thing.

And again, maybe I was thinking about the listeners too much, Claudia.

I was thinking, they really expect me to go big on desserts, and maybe I should just choose all of them.

It's a cheat.

It is a cheat, and it's also dishonest.

It's a fun.

It's dishonest.

Because I wouldn't want all of them.

No, correct.

And I would like a cake that my flatmates made me in 2018.

In 2018, I was lucky enough to have a stand-up show of mine put on Netflix.

You'd had a bad year, Claudia.

A bad year the year before.

Back from Amsterdam.

It was the first day that the specials had gone on Netflix.

And so we had a little viewing party at the flat.

And my flatmates made a cake.

Oh my God.

This cake, I think about it all the time.

I couldn't stop eating it all week.

Every time I got home, I would have some of this cake, and it was so delicious that I didn't care about it.

My barometer for desserts is that the enjoyment of it has to completely get rid of the guilt of eating it so that I don't care about the repercussions, I don't care if it's shaving however much time off my life.

It's so delicious, and I would eat it all the time because it was that good.

It was a triple layer cake, although each layer was the same, but it was like it was chocolate cake with freeze-dried raspberries in the batter

in between each layer was a salted caramel cream on the outside of the cake was a white chocolate ganache and then that was covered with uh on top of that was fondant icing and then on on the top of it they had very professionally done a microphone in fondant and the netflix logo in fondant which it was very impressive it tasted so good and I would like that with a side of my mother's homemade peanut butter slice cream that she makes, which is her homemade versions of Visa's peanut butter cups in a really like double, triple, quadruple cream ice cream.

Very rich.

When my friend Graham tried it for the first time, he had a mouthful and he looked at me and he went, I'm going to die.

So that's, you can feel it clog up your arteries as soon as you eat it.

That's what I would like.

I would like the whole cake, not just a slice of it.

No, again, you like big things brought to the table.

You like the big jug.

You know, you like, you want the the whole cake with a server.

You can share with your friend, Ed.

You can look out across the pond.

Yes.

What are you drinking?

The salted caramel thick shake from Sweet Mother's Kitchen in Wellington.

Oh, my God.

Circa 2014.

Because I think they changed the recipe to that thick shake later on.

But the first time I went to Sweet Mother's Kitchen in Wellington and had the salted caramel thick shake.

Again, it was a massive drum of it.

And I just drank the whole thing so I didn't care if I was going to die as soon as I drank it.

It was so good good that it just made all of life worth living.

Loved it.

Oh, we are so greedy.

Like this meal is going to end with me absolutely shit-faced and you just buzzing off your tits on sugar.

As it should.

It's perfect, really.

We're going to have to go for a swim in the pond.

But you're in the dream restaurant, so you're not going to get too full.

You're not going to get too drunk.

And you might just have a little, a tiny bit of brisket.

Thank you so much.

Or just a little sip of Guinness.

Oh, thank you.

I've more than enough.

I've got lots of things going.

That's never happened.

Here's something, though, Claudia, that I would like like to propose before we move on.

Please.

Before we wrap up, ideally, if I'm sitting down with my friend Ed and we're both eating our dream meals, at the end of dessert, I don't just want to go home.

I would like us to be able to get up from our table, go over, sit by the fire, maybe.

And this is, I'm not saying this just to extend an olive branch to him.

I would like to have, not necessarily a cheese board.

This is very romantic.

Continue.

But I would like to have something that's like, you know, a charcuterie, maybe maybe a bunch of stuff cheese biscuits meats stuff like that and i would like to have to drink again from noma this is actually my first thing that's making it on the menu from noma is the um coffee kombucha that i had at the end of the meal at noma again i i hadn't really had caffeine in ages i don't know if you know that but like i let me tell you i i had a 7 a.m flight the next morning and i stayed up all night with nish drinking these uh black coffee kombuchas all night and i didn't sleep a wink because i hadn't had caffeine in that long.

I have to round off the meal with that drink.

It was the most delicious, you know, cold brew coffee, but like with this fruity kombucha, kind of fermented kind of taste there.

It was so nice, so delicious.

I would like that coffee from Noma, and I like to sit and watch Ed have a cheese board to himself at the end of the night.

Well, if we're going over to the fire, then I'd like to maybe get a little tray of putty four.

Some little sweet treats,

some little chocolate truffles, some little crispy sweet things.

I mean, I've had some nice pity for.

I can't put my finger on where at the moment, but James knows the sort of thing I'm talking about.

I'd like to bring some of those over for him.

Miniature eclairs.

Yeah.

I'd like to have a whiskey.

Specifically, I went on a wonderful holiday to Japan in 2018 where I proposed to my girlfriend.

We had a wonderful time.

And we went to a couple of, well, the night of, actually, we went to the Robot Show in Tokyo, which is the craziest, hackiest thing thing i've ever seen in my life uh and we drank miniature bottles of champagne and that is the best tasting drink i've ever had because i don't remember being happier but we then went to an incredible restaurant called inua in tokyo and it's very scandinavian actually the way they do things i think the the guys who run it used to work at noma we had a mutual friend who's one of the chefs so he showed us around the kitchen uh and then he said i'd like to buy you a drink to congratulate you you on your engagement And I said, I'd like a whiskey, please.

He said, well, we do our own whiskey here, our own label, whiskey at Inua.

And he gave me one of those whiskeys and that is just the most comfortable and happy and warm i think i've ever felt so i'd like to have one of those even though i am aware that i am now having that with james rather than my fiancé so the memory is somewhat altered

better better i think yeah better in a way so i'll have one of those whiskeys please and i'll give james some sweet treats yes done

i mean are you both do you feel sated and satisfied with your choices more than i do actually you know it was quite a torturous process coming up with it because

you feel like that's it then.

But like James says, we can, you know, we can change our minds.

It's not like, and it's not like we have to eat this every day.

This is our, this is our special treatment

meal.

It's not, I was starting to feel like, you know, when Ross laminates his five celebrities that he's allowed to sleep with, I was a bit worried about that.

I was laminating this, but I'm not.

This is not a lamination.

It's your show.

Frame of time.

It's your show, and you get another go.

For your guests, it's terrible.

It's deadly serious because you only get one shot.

Yeah.

This time, next week, you could go, do you know what?

I'm taking that plate of tomato essence out and I'm just going to throw in a tuna melt like a normal person.

But that might happen.

Who knows?

You've got all the good stuff.

I feel great.

Thank you so much for having me.

Well, thank you for having us.

Oh, hold on a minute.

Sorry, I can just see somebody.

What's that?

Would you like a glass of warm mulled cider?

Whoa!

I've got blue!

Well, there we go.

A couple of absolutely disgusting menus.

What are you talking about, man?

They're the best menus we've ever had on this podcast.

That is true, actually.

They are delicious.

Yeah, really delicious.

I mean, and everything you said, I thought I would have that on my menu.

I would eat all of your menu.

I would eat it.

Man,

I bet I'd love it.

It's a shame we didn't, we had to do this over Zoom.

Obviously, in my mind, I know you said in your mind that you thought it would be in person.

but in my mind, we would do it live

in a theater or something.

But, you know, there's time, there's time for all of that sort of stuff.

And obviously, that was episode 100 at Mind and James's menus.

We'll do it again at episode 200.

Absolutely.

That's what's going to happen, guys.

You keep this podcast going.

You keep on supporting us every single hundred mark episode.

We're going to do our menu.

Me and Ed are going to go out to dinner with a different genie each time.

Exactly.

obviously we will have to do episode 200 over zoom as well because of covid 42.

yes obviously that'll have happened and uh who knows we might have a new producer by then

hey you know what i hope not because i'm going to put this out there 100 episodes oh the great bonito really has done a smashing job hasn't he oh we don't look i mean hopefully it's no secret to anyone but if this was just down to me and ed we really

i would have been impressed if we'd made it to 10 episodes so uh

it wouldn't have made it to 10 episodes or we might have recorded one but no one would have heard it because i don't know how to put them on the internet i don't know how to edit them uh i don't know how to tell people about it it's

we turn up we chat all the you hear plus more because a lot of it's cut out um and then that's all we do and then the and then a podcast just happens to give the listener an idea of how many episodes of this podcast they would have heard if the great bonito wasn't involved and it was just down to me and ed i once went round to Ed's house and we got a video camera and we filmed a bunch of short comedy sketches

that were based on us being vloggers

talking about our fan theories of various TV shows.

We filmed three episodes in one night.

One about Westworld, one about Stranger Things, and

I can't remember what the third one was even about.

We were called

Jamie and Ed Gamble.

And I had an outfit on and everything and we filmed it all.

Our fan theory about Westworld was that at the end of series one when

what's the name?

Ben Barnes is on the horse

and he's naked on the horse and the horse's butt gets slapped and the horse gumps away with him.

Our fan theory about that was that Ben Barnes goes off in the desert and fucks the horse.

Fucks the horse, yeah.

They give birth to Mr.

Tumnus and that's how Narnia began.

And we filmed all of that in one night and still, and that was like probably three years ago, four years ago, whenever the first series of Westworld was out.

Four years ago, I'd say.

And it's still never seen the light of day.

It's not even been edited.

It's still on the camera that we used.

Nothing has ever been done with it.

So that is what this podcast would be, were it not for the Great Bonito.

It would just be a recording of Scroobious Pip on one of our phones that no one's ever listened to.

So what we're trying to say is thank you.

the Great Benito.

Thank you so much, The Great Bonito.

And thank you to all of you guys as well who listen to it and tweet about it and talk about it.

And people seem to really be into it.

So thanks for being into it.

Thank you for jumping on all the little silly things we say, making sure they don't get forgotten and building a three-dimensional world because that's what every podcast needs.

And thank you, of course, to No Context Off Menu, who really brings that to life.

Yeah, I love him.

I get sometimes Ed sends me the screenshots of it and I'm like, that guy's done really amazing work.

Yeah, because James isn't on social media.

So I have to screenshot all of my favorite ones uh and i said i send them to james and then he has a little chuckle so he's got his own form of social media where people just cherry-pick all the best bits and send them to him it's great hey guys if you ever think about leaving social media it's brilliant because you just get it curated for you by all your friends they send you all the best bits you just get to see the creme de la creme i'm starting to think i should balance it a little bit and start sending you uh like troll stuff as well Yeah, so I said it'd be, look at what this person said about you today, not generous.

But we feel very grateful.

We're very happy to have made it to 100 episodes.

A lot of podcasts don't make it past one.

And look, long may it continue.

No plans on stopping.

I love doing this podcast.

And thank you, Ed, for being such a great guy and making me feel nice and comfortable every episode.

Even in that one when we were supposedly head to head, I was like...

No way.

We're friends.

Bad luck.

Yeah, exactly.

That was good.

And thank you, James, for being a good friend and a wonderful dining companion.

And hopefully at some point in the future, we can all get together and have a meal.

And I'm saying that to James and Benito, not to you, the listener.

I like you.

Thank you for listening.

You make me feel successful, but please keep your distance.

Yeah, you can't all come to dinner.

Although, if we do the live show thing, maybe.

Yeah.

Oh, well, that's a possibility for the future once everyone's been vaccinated, etc.

Still a sparkling vaccine.

And then we can all get together and have a lovely old time at a live show and all eat the same meal.

Do you think you can do that at a live show?

Can you?

Yeah, we'll order all just the same meal for everybody.

And they've all got to just eat that.

Benito's already shaking his head.

See, this is the problem.

Benito spots logistical issues sometimes.

So we can't really live our dreams because he's like, no, that won't work.

You can't have a deliveroo for 2,000 people.

That's how many people we're playing to.

Yeah, that's how many it would be.

2,000?

2,000, exactly.

I think so.

So thank you very much.

100 done.

We will see you next week for 101.

Oh, well, our guest will be a Dalmatia.

Uh-oh.

Pangle.

Pongo.

This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad.

OPill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin.

In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot.

But now OPIL is putting birth control in our control.

OPIL is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen-free, and 98% effective when used as directed.

Grab it online, or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed.

So if you're thinking about birth control, check out OPIL to see if it's right for you.

Use code GIGLI for 25% off your first month of OPIL at opi.com.

That's code GIGGLI at opi.com.

Birth control in your control.

We love to see it.

When disaster takes control of your life, ServePro helps you take it back.

ServePro shows up faster to any size disaster to make things right.

Starting with a single call, that's all.

Because the number one name in cleanup and restoration has the scale and the expertise to get you back up to speed quicker than you ever thought possible.

So whenever you never thought this would happen actually happens, ServePro's got you.

Call 1-800-SERVPRO or visit SurvePro.com today to help make it like it never even happened.

Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the off-menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of off-menu on YouTube and full episodes, but it's embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing at all.

It's really cool.

We're on YouTube with the great and good.

The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

At Off Menu Podcast.

That's what Benito's calling us now.

And we're on TikTok.

This is embarrassing, man.

It's not embarrassing, man.

We're cool.

We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

And Ed.

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us, actually.

They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

They can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Oh, Benito has bent to their whims.

And he's going to put it on YouTube.

He's going to do it.

Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok.

At Off Menu Podcast.

On YouTube, you can watch clips from the podcast.

And on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes.

People have been asking for it.

And you're finally getting it.

Full video episodes.

So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.