Ep. #664: Jiminy Glick, Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Rep. Adam Kinzinger

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Start the clock.

Thank you,

thank you very much.

How are you down there?

Thank you.

Thank you, people.

I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

You sound great.

Okay, please.

Please.

Let's do this.

Thank you.

I'm very excited about our first guest in the show.

Let's get right to it.

I know why you're happy.

It's summer.

It's the first day of summer.

Exciting to be

in summer.

What a week.

Yes, summer today, Wednesday.

We celebrate Juneteenth.

Juneteenth was,

we celebrate the end of slavery in America.

And ironically, the only person who partied too hard was Justin Timberlake.

Yeah.

Oh, we've all been there.

I've gotten a DUI.

Come on, it's not the worst thing in the world.

But yeah, he was, oh, he was at Long Island, got a DUI.

Interesting excuse.

He said he's bringing taxi back.

But right on queue, right with the summer, we have a heat dome.

They used to call it a heat wave, I guess, same fucking thing.

But okay.

The kids have to rename everything.

It's a heat dome now.

Okay, well,

it's hot out there.

The weather service is asking the elderly and the vulnerable to campaign for president indoors.

Oh, it's hot.

It is really hot out there.

Jew haters are protesting without the mask.

That's.

It's hot.

Boy, Lindsey Graham was

squirting his face with a mister.

Mr.

Mr.

Who, I don't know.

No, it's hot.

It's so hot, people are standing next to Biden hoping he'll freeze up.

It's unfair.

Oh, that's.

We're going to talk about that tonight on the panel.

We're going to show it so you can decide for yourself.

This is a big issue.

Now, cheap fakes, you heard that?

What they call cheap fakes, where they show Biden, they're not doctored, but they are edited to make him look like he's a doddering old fool and that he freezes up.

And that's the difference between Trump and Biden.

It's an embarrassing video for Biden when he's not talking.

But

all eyes are on next Thursday, six weeks from today, six weeks, six days from today.

This is unprecedented.

It is the first presidential debate.

Usually they're not till.

Oh, we like this?

Okay.

Well,

you are more optimistic than I am, but okay.

But I mean, we usually don't have them until October, September the earliest.

But this time

they looked at the actuarial tables

and they said, let's get this show on the road.

Come on.

And these debates.

These debates are going to be a little different.

They're rules for the first time.

Wow, we have rules.

Like they're going to cut off the mic when you're not talking and

huddling in the breaks.

And it's 90 minutes with two commercial breaks.

They were going over the rules.

Biden said, Can I go to the bathroom during the debate?

And they said, no, you can't leave the stage.

And Biden said, that's not what I asked.

Down in Louisiana, they are now putting the Ten Commandments in the schools.

Trump said, I love the Ten Commandments.

They should be in the public schools, in the private schools.

I got a better idea.

Instead of the Ten Commandments, just put out a picture of Donald Trump.

Kids don't be like that.

And

this is terrible news, actually.

Our two biggest enemies in the world, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un, they had a big love fest in North Korea this week.

Wow, this is not good news.

They gave each other gifts.

Putin gave Kim a limousine.

And Kim gave Putin two dogs.

And Putin said, what do you call them?

And Kim said, breakfast and lunch.

All right, we've got a great show.

We have Andrew Cuomo, former governor of New York, Adam Kinzinger, former Republican congressman.

But first up,

I'm so excited.

You know, for years I've interviewed authors out here in our opening one-on-one interview spot, but now I find myself in the position of being the author of a book on the bestseller list.

Thank you.

So,

I can't interview myself.

I needed someone to interview me.

And we are so lucky tonight.

We have a master, perhaps the master

of the art form.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jiminy Glick is here.

Hello!

Wonderful to see you.

You sit.

See, I'm gonna

come out because I'm the guest now.

Well, if someone had a hot dog, I'll tell you.

This is going to be so exciting for me.

Really, because I'm used to interviewing celebrities, so this is a nice change of piece.

Are we on time?

Oh, we just started.

We just started.

Well, I'm an author in this space.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I'm so excited that you're an author.

And you look wonderful.

You really, you're timeless.

Your skin is so youthful.

It is.

I'm not saying it's firm.

I'm saying it's youthful.

No, you have the Kylie Jenner lip plumper working.

And you're in wonderful shape, Bill, for someone who's let himself go.

I mean, really.

You're like a male Marjorie Taylor Green, really.

In other words, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

So you're doing political stuff now.

I am.

I am.

Look at your smile.

Well, thank you.

Smile for me, Bill.

Smile for me.

Your smile is like an email from grandma.

All caps.

All right.

All right.

But this is exciting.

But listen, I want to get to this book, and I love this book.

I love this book.

I haven't read it.

Well, I've read it cover and cover,

but nothing inside.

When word gets back that it's delightful.

It is.

I think you really enjoy it.

First, I want to ask something, Del.

I want to ask something, really.

You're one of the few people that Richard Simmons will talk to.

Is he okay?

I'm so scared for him, Bill.

I don't know.

I've seen him on TMZ and so forth.

He seems like he's okay.

The people who know him say he's okay.

Well, I hope so.

Okay.

I think he just wants to.

Okay, enough, Bill.

But I want to get back to this

book.

Yeah, thank you so much.

That's a wonderful, wonderful book.

And as an author, is this how you, Bill Burr, see yourself?

Now, Bill Burr is a different comedian entirely.

Oh, my God, of course.

You're Bill Maher, you know?

Really, the combo of weed and cheap cologne fighting for dominance should have given it away.

But anyway.

My cologne is not cheap.

So happy.

Well, Bill Maher,

happy belated Father's Day.

I am excited.

I'm not.

I'm not a father.

I know you have four children.

I have Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and and Modine.

Right, I know you are.

And, you know, I.

Thank you.

And I was, by the way, I was reading up on you, too.

Not that I don't know everything about you because you are a big celebrity, but.

Thank you.

I saw in your Wikipedia page that you lost your virginity when you fell into a bar boy.

It happens.

Don't judge.

Don't judge.

And here's the thing.

There's a few things I want to ask about this book of yours because I love it.

Not that I've read it, but I love it.

But everyone seems to love your book, but why trash Harriet Tubman?

No, that's not in there.

It's not in there?

No, no, no, no.

Well, my assistant is rarely wrong, but your book is a triumph.

What do you owe it success to?

Low expectation?

You really couldn't.

Well,

really, how does it feel to dominate dominate a dying medium?

Well, you know, that's a really interesting point

you bring up because it is tough in today's world to get people to read because people are just not readers anymore.

So I was very gratified that this did so well, was number one on the best subtle list a couple of weeks ago, staying on there.

People for years have want.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll get a job tomorrow, Mark.

Oh, I'm told.

Yes, what do you think?

Now, this is really interesting, but it's amazing to write a book.

Yes, it is.

And to conquer a field, because not many people will...

Next, you'll probably get a deal with Blockbuster Video.

And you're filled with opinions.

I love the...

Because I've always loved Bill Mard's opinion.

You know, like, I give opinions about COVID, the whole COVID thing.

I always love sure.

I I love getting my medical advice from a club act.

What hospital did you study at?

Yuck York Medical Center?

Well, if you really want to get into that, I mean, we see now that a couple of years have passed that so many of the things they said were wrong there.

Now, even the New York Times now is saying that it started in the lab, that it was not from the wet markets.

What do you think about that?

What?

I didn't, I wasn't listening.

No, but I would call you.

See, this is what I think about you, Bill.

I think you, I think you're a Renaissance man.

I do.

I mean, I'm looking at your notes.

You're a talk show host.

You're an author.

Yeah.

Sure.

Oh, that's the whole list.

That's

also stand-up comedy.

It's all in this book.

That's wonderful, wonderful book.

Now,

no, I loved it.

Here's a name.

Thank you so much.

There it is.

Here's the thing: because you're filled with opinions.

Are there any topics for you that are off limits other than foreplay?

Well, that's a great question, Jimmy.

Very good question.

A lot of people ask me that.

I would say only things that are boring.

You know, I mean, I don't stay away from anything because it's

because it's.

Didn't you used to have glasses?

I do right now.

Did you get away with that?

You You know, the

LASIC.

Oh, there we go.

That's great.

That's the demonstration.

Oh, no more!

Yeah.

Okay.

Right.

See, that was where I got LASIC.

That really clears everything up for you, isn't it?

The more you're saying, because it was interesting.

Something about

your approach to go.

Yeah, well, you're asking me if anything is off limits.

And I always say, nothing's off limits unless everyone.

Hold on, sorry.

Sorry.

have a call.

Yes, Lofty.

No, no, no, no.

My down-there hair is turning purple for a rich.

Too much chlorine in the jacuzzi.

Deary, thank you.

I'm sorry, go back.

I'm intrigued by what you're saying.

That's uh.

Okay.

No, I want to hear.

I want to hear.

No, no, no.

Because you're interesting.

Well, I'm glad you think that because I know you have

interviewed like all the biggest stars in the world.

I remember when you had, as you called him, Tom Hank.

Tom Hank is wonderful.

Yeah.

I said to Steven Spielberg, when are you going to do the big one that connects with the people, you know?

Here's the thing I want to get, I want to talk to you about, because it's, and this seems like a random conversation, but I think it's an important question.

What's the oddest thing you've accidentally dropped into the toilet?

Mine was a whole rotisserie chicken once, and I don't know what happened.

But enough about that.

I want to know about the real.

I want to know about the the real.

I want to know.

I want to know about the real Belmar.

I want to know your personal journey.

I want to know, but not too much detail because I don't really care.

But

like other than L.

Ron Hubbard, who has influenced you?

Who have been the big people?

Well, certainly not L.

Ron Hubbard.

I mean, that's a religion.

And, you know, I'm rather famous as an atheist.

You know, that's one of the topics we'll be talking about.

I heard that influence Belmar.

Well you know when I was a kid.

I'd love to hear it tonight.

I got to bring more Kleenex up.

Well, when I was a kid, of course, I wanted to be a comedian when I was very young.

I can't tell you that.

Like, I mean, Johnny Carson, what's in my...

Johnny Carson and George Carlin and

Robert Quine.

These were influenced.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah.

I used to, when I was...

When I was first thinking about being a comedian, there was a show on from Canada called SCTV.

Oh, wonderful.

So.

Self-almost everyone in that cast was a genius.

Almost.

But that was a big influence on me, that show.

Well, thank you

so much on behalf of that cast.

No, I don't.

I interviewed some of them, and now they don't talk to me, and I don't know what that's about.

And you're also a big fan of PETA.

PETA, the people for the ethical treatment of animals.

I am with you, Bill, because I have one of the heaviest set dogs in the world.

Regalina.

The worms in her stool have type 2 diabetes.

Why are you?

Because I've always been...

Like, which endangered species do you feel was kind of asking for it?

Well, none of them, of course.

I mean, all the creatures on this earth should be able to live freely and to propagate.

Good, huh?

Not to be hunted to extinction by man.

I mean, you know, we are getting to the point where we're only going to eat like three things in a minute.

We eat

cows, pigs.

You'd tell me if you'd had a stroke, wouldn't you?

It may be coming, but...

Yes.

Well, look, let me just say this, that

you are absolutely sensational.

And

other than lacking one, what do you think your comedy legacy will be?

You know, really, Bill, because everyone loves you.

They do.

I mean, Republicans don't like you.

Democrats don't like you.

But

your wife and kids do.

Lynette and the twins.

No, I am not.

No, never been married.

Never been married.

This has been so much fun.

We've got to wrap it up.

Your book is absolutely the greatest book that I've ever read.

Thank you, Jimmy.

And you know, thank you because I've always felt that I mean this, honest to God, I mean this.

I'm not gonna cry.

But I feel that the boring and tedious guests make me a better interviewer.

So thank you.

Jiminy Click.

Thank you, Bonnie.

Thank you.

This was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Jiminy Click!

All right.

Oh, my God.

All right, follow that, guys.

All right, he is New York State's former three-term governor, Andrew Cuomo, is over here.

And former Republican congressman from Illinois, author of the book renegade and founder of the country first pack, Adam Kintiger is over here.

Okay, so

you've handled that well, I thought you're such a pro.

I just melted into laughter.

But what can you do with that?

I mean, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Okay, so switching gears here now, since both of you are people who have been in office and are recently out of office, I'm not sure that's your

choice, but

honestly, I feel like you're both, you're like the coach that you see in the booth on the NFL, the NBA,

who's really trying to get back in the the game.

He's in the booth now, but he's waiting for that coaching job that's happened with the guy in the Lakers.

Okay.

So let me ask the political question.

If Biden won't step aside, and it looks like he won't, even though I think he should have a long time ago and still not too late, the question becomes, what kind of campaign is he running?

As two political savvins here, is he running a good campaign?

And

if you were running it, what would you be telling him?

And what would you do to run it better?

Yeah.

I don't think he's running an especially good campaign, frankly.

I think there's a big question that he has to answer which is about his age, his viability, etc.

And I think the only way you answer that is by getting out there and letting people see you.

That's the only way you put it to rest.

And I don't think you can hide from that bill.

And I think you should be more aggressive in that regard.

I think you should also be more aggressive in talking about what this campaign is really all about, right?

Because it's really bigger than Trump and Biden.

And this campaign is about division versus unity.

It's about whether we are going to exploit differences or whether we're going to find commonality.

Is it still the United States or is it the divided states?

And I think it's that binary a choice.

And I think it should frame the race that way.

It's not a problem.

That seems like the kind of lofty ideas he is running on that's not working.

People seem to be saying, we want to, we care about the pocketbook issues.

And this is across the lines of race, of gender.

Everybody seems to be saying the same thing.

It's inflation, it's pocketbook issues, it's things like that that hit us every day in our everyday lives.

And you guys are talking about Ukraine and Gaza and Israel and

democracy.

I agree with you.

Democracy is on the line.

It just doesn't seem to connect with the people.

I mean, mean, I could go through the stats here of the people he's losing.

It's a little scary because he's losing the people who are supposed to be the ones in the Democratic camp.

Immigration, I saw this week, okay, he's allowing U.S.

citizens now,

their spouses, to apply for permanent residency.

Been here for sometimes up to 10 years, married, not a citizen.

Okay.

That's kind of pandering to not working.

45% of Hispanic voters prefer Biden compared to 39% for Trump.

Last time he won, 59%.

That was 2020.

So he's lost 14 points there.

He went to Morehouse.

He said, what is democracy if you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get a fair shot?

That seemed like pandering to me.

Black voters under 50.

He led by 80 points in 2020, now by 37, still a lot, but he's lost 43 points off the key constituency.

Student loans.

He's forgiven $144 billion in student loans.

Only 36% of student debt holders like it.

I mean, if you can't win the people you're pandering to, I mean, I get it.

Politics is somewhat about pandering.

That's not even an insult.

You're supposed to do what people want to a certain degree, also be a leader.

But if you're not winning these groups, and he's lost 8% off women since 2020.

And yet I read in the polls, he pulled ahead this week.

Explain that to me.

Because Trump's psycho, and I think people are starting to see that.

I mean, honestly, I mean, I've given it, but we've known that.

But I think

if you look, the last few years, you know, Trump's kind of been in and out of the press.

He's still consumed, everybody's consumed with him.

But when you start seeing him talk again, I do think the

felonies have hurt him.

But when you see him talk again, people feel this exhaustion coming back.

So I think that's a change.

What's happening right now is there's still this belief that identity politics works, and I don't think it works.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

People are voting now.

The political realignment is kind of this middle class.

It's a sign of progress.

It's not college-educated.

Yeah, it is.

It's a sign of the progress we've made in this country.

It is.

And look, there's no doubt but that you have to speak to people where they are, right?

And it is about the cost of living.

And not as an abstract concept.

It's about the cost of your groceries and gasoline and health care, et cetera.

And those are are the issues that he has to address.

But I still think one of the issues he has on the table, Bill, is his

personal capacity to lead.

And that has to be answered at the same time.

And I think, also look at immigration.

This is screaming at people as the number one concern.

And as a political party, you have a choice to make.

You can either listen to the concerns like you were talking about earlier or at some point say those concerns aren't real.

People are concerned with the border.

I'm about as moderate to almost liberal on immigration.

I think we have to be a welcoming country, but we have to have security on the border.

I think his executive order was important, but then they cut, you know, they then come out with this new thing, which kind of washes away what he did on the executive order.

I think lean forward on immigration.

You're going to tick off your left base, but that's okay because they're going to vote for you.

Who's not voting for you and who you have to try to win is the middle.

Yeah, right.

I wanted with that.

I agree with everybody.

His immigration policy was a mistake, right?

I get the theory of the extreme left.

We're a land of immigrants, let everyone come in, we all came as immigrants.

I get it.

But how you do it makes all the difference in the world, right?

And to just open the borders with no plan, you don't know where they go, you don't know who's going to pay for them.

They wind up in cities all across the country.

New York has a couple of hundred thousand in hotels,

costing New York City a fortune, no jobs, no training, no help assimilating into society.

So who did you even help?

Right?

It was a great

theory.

You have the person in your old job, the governor of New York, a Democrat saying, don't come here.

Those are her exact words, don't come here.

And the mayor of New York saying, this is going to ruin our city.

I mean,

if I didn't know who was talking, I would have thought they would be Republicans.

But they didn't stop them, Bill.

They could have stopped them.

The governor was saying she didn't want them outside of New York City.

But the mayor could have said no.

The governor could have said no.

Many mayors and governors said no.

But New York was more of the ideological left.

All are welcome.

And now we're finding out 200,000 people later, you needed a plan.

You needed to know what to do with these people.

I'm not really for him.

Trump is

Trump is up.

He has a 23-point edge with Latinos on the issue of border security.

I feel like this is not those issues where the Democrats trying to be so unracist are actually kind of racist because they don't seem to see Latinos as Americans.

Like, they care about border security too.

They're here.

And, you know, as one of the few Republicans who, I must commend you, says you're going going to vote for Biden, right?

Okay, usually

Republicans who don't want Trump, they just still don't have the balls to say, yeah, but I'm going to vote for the other guy.

I'm going to write in Mickey Mouse or Ronald Reagan or some stupid bullshit like that.

But here's an issue.

Like Wes More, he's the governor of Maryland.

He's 45, Afghan vet.

He should be running.

Okay.

Mass pardon of 175,000 marijuana convictions this year.

Yeah.

Biden could do it.

I mean, Trump is in Las Vegas, where I'm going later today,

to perform this weekend.

MGM Brown.

He was talking in Vegas off the top of his head.

He said, no taxing tips.

You know, because a lot of people are waiters and waitresses in that industry.

I know it's going to go down well at the Spearman Rhino.

No taxing tips.

Again, it's kind of a pander, but you know, if it works, and again, the marijuana thing, that's not a pander, even though it would work that way.

It's just good common sense and politics.

I don't know why he doesn't do things like that.

Or you mentioned health care.

I mean, the Obama subsidies expire next year unless Congress acts.

Why doesn't he run on,

this guy's going to take it away?

I was one of the ones who gave it to you.

It's like 10 goddamn words.

I don't get it.

I think

he's just not running a good campaign.

Yeah, and I think that's the thing is he has to be aggressive against Donald Trump.

What Donald Trump has going for him is he's got that lizard brain that just knows exactly what people want to hear at that moment, like the tip thing.

And he can pander like that.

You know, Joe Biden's a decent man.

He's not a, he's, you know, and he needs to go against what Donald Trump is saying and talk about what this really means for things like, you know, abortion policy, for things like health care, et cetera.

He's got to go hard on that.

I think and hope you will see that, particularly as it's, you know, going to be a continued tight race.

So the debate is in six days, these rules.

Now, here are the new rules: no audience.

Never seen that in a debate.

No huddling with your staff in the two breaks.

No notes, and they cut the mics when you're not talking.

Also,

each candidate gets to have a pen, a bottle of water, and a notepad.

Winner is the one who can tell which is which.

Who do these rules help?

I don't know.

Here's the thing that concerns me a little bit is Part of this exhaustion with Trump is that he doesn't shut up.

He keeps talking.

Remember the last debate where he kept over-talking Biden and Biden just kind of sat back?

And it actually helped Biden.

I worry that the mic cut situation, it's probably better for America because we get to hear real things being talked about, but I worry that that's going to tamp down on some of the psychoness that he has, and people aren't going to quite see it as well.

It'll depend.

But you know what?

He'll keep talking even though the mic is out.

Absolutely.

He'll just keep going.

You know, Biden has to look, you know, if you had to pick a word, it's strong.

He has to look like he did with the State of the Union.

He has to come out.

He has to be strong.

Trump will be overbearing because he thinks he's going to show his strength by just overpowering Biden.

And I think he'll overdo it.

And shutting off the mic, I really believe he's going to keep talking to you.

Well, the Republicans believe he will be very viral because he's on drugs.

I got to say this about...

I got to say this about the Republicans, man.

When they get a new talking point,

I don't know if they meet in a secret underground lair,

but when the memo goes out, they all get on the same page.

And the new page is that Biden, yes, we all say he's feeble most of the time, but when he's not, when he's actually not being feeble, it's because he's on drugs.

We put together a little run of people talking about this on conservative media.

Tonight, America saw,

let's say, a very different Joe Biden.

I might call him jacked up Joe.

Joe Biden must have been jacked up on something.

He's jacked up.

They jacked him up.

He'll be jacked up.

They're going to need to goose him and juice him.

He's going to be so pumped up.

He's going to be pumped up.

I'm going to demand a drug test.

I don't want him coming in like the State of the Union.

He was high as a kite.

So that's it.

He's

Joe Biden, he's jacked up.

He's coped out.

He's completely out of control.

I think they're on to something here.

And would you like to see some of the proof that they have?

For example,

the White House gift shop now sells a tiny spoon with the presidential seal

right there.

He expanded Obamacare to cover nosebleed.

I think

he wants to move the debate to Miami.

Well, there you go.

Now he's asking Hunter to introduce him to his friend.

Lately when he sniffs women's hair, he's been using a straw.

Oh.

Terrible.

He named a post office after Marion Barrett.

His Secret Service code name is Andy Dick.

I mean,

he's been referring to the DEA as that bunch of fucking narcs.

Lately, he stays up to the crack of dusk.

And

he keeps babbling about how he wants to spend more time working on his music.

So let's look at...

Let's look at this issue that you keep bringing up, and you're right.

This is what's about, you know,

this doesn't have any issues, this election.

People are beyond issue.

It's Trump's a criminal, Biden's a cadaver.

That is the whole goddamn election.

So this is what they're, this is their big thing.

So let's show what they've been talking about this week.

They've put together a bunch of different times that he's been out in public.

One was D-Day, one was Juneteenth, the L.A.

fundraiser here with Obama and the G7 summit in Italy.

I'm going to show them in order and just narrate a little bit what you're seeing.

Now, of course, they're not doctored.

That's the important thing.

Cheap fake is not doctored.

It's just how you edit it, where you shoot the angle from.

Scroll the video and we'll look at this and you can tell me what you think afterwards.

Okay, here's the first one.

It's D-Day.

There he is.

He goes to sit down.

I used to do this in church.

Is everybody sitting?

Oh, no.

And then, so they said he was pooping his pants.

He wasn't.

I mean, he may be number two in the polls, but he wasn't pooping his pants.

Okay.

Then there was at the Juneteenth thing.

Everybody's dancing and he's not.

Good.

He shouldn't be dancing.

He's 82.

You look like an idiot when you try to dance.

Then he was on a fundraiser.

Okay, so he was basking in a little bit of the applause at the end.

You know, he's a politician.

He's Scranton Joe.

That's what he does.

He was waiting a little too long.

And Obama, maybe Obama was like, oh, you know what they're going to say?

So he led him.

He wasn't leading him off.

And then he's at the G7 summit in Italy.

And there were paratroopers who were landing all around them.

Now, they just show, look at this.

They just show him there.

Looks like he's wandering off like a mental patient, but he was actually going to talk to one of the paratroopers who was there.

Okay, the guy actually didn't talk to him, but that's what he was doing.

The Democrats have to find a way to communicate, I think,

that this guy is mentally there.

And of course, the other side does it too, because

the Democrats have a video of Trump where it looks like he's jerking off a guy with both hands.

That's a real one.

But

how do you communicate to the American public, okay, he's old, but he hasn't lost his mind?

Can we agree on that?

Yes.

He's still got his marbles.

He can still do the job.

He just can't run for it.

Yeah.

But look,

the videos, the videos, frankly, just take you to a whole nother state of lack of credibility in all the social media that goes back and forth and more cynicism, skepticism.

You can't believe any of this crap.

You know, it reminds me of bots in the last election.

The problem with the videos is this is not just some people who are cutting this.

This is like the RNC themselves who are doing this, which is disgraceful.

But

Democrats are also singing about Trump, too, right?

And it's also true about Trump.

He's also missing words, et cetera.

These are older guys who are not as facile or glib as they were.

But I think the only way that, Bill, that the Biden people show and get past this issue is they have to see him strong and competent and look into his eyes and feel confidence.

So we'll all know in six days we'll have this answer.

In six days you'll have the first answer, yes.

But this is, you're not going to answer it in one debate, right?

It'll be like the State of the Union.

They'll come back with their jacked-up theory.

That has to be his campaign.

He's got to be out there.

He's got to be talking.

He's got to be engaging.

He has to do interviews.

He has to be doing speeches where people say, I feel comfortable that this man can handle it.

Come on.

Can I just say

how,

and I have to say this: how absolutely despicable these cheap fakes are, not because you go on the internet and some random guy, a bunch of numbers posts it, but because Josh Hawley, the senator from Missouri, posted that Normandy video and said, the great leader of the free world, ladies and gentlemen, while he was at Normandy honoring the sacrifice of American veterans, they're putting out a fake BS video just to win political points at a time when we as Americans should be sitting around proud that the president was there celebrating our victory in London.

What do you think about this?

I know you grew up in a home with a lot of religious nuts, right?

So

what do you think about this story in the news that the governor of Louisiana, his name is Jeff Landry?

He is now putting

the Ten Commandments

mandates,

House Bill 71, a poster-sized display of the Ten Commandments in every classroom from kindergarten through college.

I feel like any previous Supreme Court would strike this down in a second, but I don't think this court can.

The governor said, if you want to respect the rule of law, you've got to start from the original lawgiver, which was Moses.

Okay.

Not my view on this stuff.

And, you know.

This is the point.

We are a country.

yes, it was founded by people that had a Christian faith, but it was founded by people that recognized that government should not be in the business of church.

And what you're seeing there, they're not putting the Ten Commandments in the classroom because they want to teach kids morals.

It's not about, it's about owning the libs, and it's about saying, I'm going to do it because I can do it.

In fact, Jeff Landry said, I can't wait to get sued.

That's not somebody that's saying, we just need a moral code to lay out before people.

This government should be as welcoming to somebody like you who's an atheist and to somebody like me who's a Christian.

We should have the same ability to feel comfortable with the people.

There's no morals, hardly any morals in the Ten Commandments anyway.

I found them.

Okay.

Really.

The first four are all just about God's ego.

Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Thou shalt not worship false idols.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain.

Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.

That's all about God and his big fucking ego.

Number five, honor they mother and father, like you couldn't have just figured that out on your own.

The only two that are laws, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal.

Then there's adultery.

Ha ha, Donald Trump.

Bear false witness, which I guess is lying, and not covet thy neighbor's shit.

You know, it's just, it's a dumb, ancient Bronze Age list.

It doesn't have rape, slavery, or child abuse on it.

Yeah.

I think in some ways, Bill, the Republican Party is the dog that caught the car, right?

They've been courting the far right, courting the evangelicals.

Okay, now you won them.

And it's such hypocrisy for the Republican Party, because basically their argument is we are about small government and limited government.

That's their basic point.

Except now we're going to have a government that's going to tell you what God to worship.

We're going to have a government that tells you what books you can read and what books are going to be banned.

We're going to have a government that tells a woman what she can do with her body.

You know,

what happened to small, limited government?

You're in my bedroom, you're in my life, you're giving me your religion, your values, your philosophy.

And I don't think the Republican Party even saw this coming, right?

Because their strength is when they are economic conservatives, when they're talking about spending and the debt and taxes, et cetera.

But this social conservative wave that has taken over, I think it does them in.

I think Trump has his own cult following, but fundamentally the core of the Republican Party, I think, is lost.

You have this competition to create this like race to crazy in the GOP.

It used to be we'd do something called a Lincoln Day dinner and there was always one corner of like crazy people and the next year that would be everybody and that crazy people would have even something crazier.

You're seeing that like anti-IVF, right?

Some people now against birth control.

Well, this is nothing I even imagined in the GOP.

That's so interesting that you bring that up.

Yes.

I mean it's funny because that's a gimmick vote.

You know, a couple years ago when

after the 2020 situation with George Floyd and then the defund the police movement, okay, Okay.

There was Tommy Tommerville, the Republican senator.

He made the Democrats vote on defunding the police because that's a gimmick vote.

It's like, let's prove that you're not an extremist.

Well, what happened?

He didn't get any votes.

There was not one Democratic senator who voted to

ban the police, to defund the police.

The reverse is this.

The Democrats said, prove you're not an extremist.

Contraception.

We're not talking about abortion now.

Contraception.

And only two Republicans voted against that.

Is that where we are?

Contraception?

What's next?

Masturbation?

I mean,

it's like...

Is that where we are with sperm?

You can't spill any?

You answer that, Adam.

All right.

I want to bring up one more issue because it's stuck in my craw.

There is is a new movie out, not out, because I can't see it.

It's called The Apprentice.

It's about Donald Trump.

First of all, it got an 11-minute standing ovation when it played in Khan, okay?

It looks great.

It stars Jeremy Strong from The Apprentice as Roy Cohen.

It's Donald Trump's, you know, every hero needs an origin story, and apparently so does every schmuck, because this is Trump's origin story when he was under the tutelage of Roy Cohen.

and it's being released in Japan, Canada, the UK, France, Germany.

No one here will touch it.

You know, this bothers me so much.

People come up to me all the time: Bill, you shouldn't make fun of Biden.

If I don't do it, they're not going to notice he's old.

You know?

This is my industry, you fucking pussies.

Find a way to release this movie.

They won't do it.

First, Trump, first he intimidates the congresspeople to pretend that he actually won the 2020 election.

They all get behind.

Then he intimidates juries.

That's bad enough.

None of them will speak out.

And now he's intimidating this town.

He is very good at manipulation, at leverage, at the use of power.

Apparently this movie was done by a supporter of his.

Dan Snyder, yeah.

Yeah, and I'm sure he said, don't release the movie here.

It's not a helpful movie to me.

But the power bill is in the cult that he has amassed, right?

Look at what happened with Fox and the Dominion lawsuit.

Fox paid $800 million to Dominion Voting Company because they lied about the election and they knew they were lying.

Why were they lying?

Because the Trump people left Fox when they said he lost the election.

That's his power.

He's got the dog whistle to his cult.

That's why he scares the heck out of the Republicans in the House, in the Senate.

Yes, he intimidates them with the power of the cult, and that is his personality.

They have weaponized cancel culture.

Remember back when you had these like corporations that were going overly woke and people would boycott and it made an impact.

They had a concern there.

What they've done is realize the effectiveness of that, and now they've weaponized it and gone on offense.

So, not defense, like we're not going to boycott this corporation because we don't like whatever gender thing they're doing.

Now it's we don't like this movie that makes our guy look bad.

And that is a dangerous precedent in a country we forgot.

And I'm an American.

I get to see the movie that I want.

I want to see that movie, and I want to see that Jamie Foxx movie that they won't let us see.

All right, thanks, guys.

We got to go to New Rule.

All right.

Thank you.

Okay.

New rule, don't eat undercooked, infected Canadian bear meat

like a South Dakota man did, because the bad news is now he has worms.

The good news is if comic books are true, he'll turn into a superhero.

and have the powers of either a bear or a worm or possibly an undercooked Canadian.

But be careful with worms.

Bobby Kennedy caught worms and they went right to his head.

Neru, before you pay $40 for this theft-deterrent light box that makes robbers think you're home watching TV, shop around because you should know that for $50

you can buy an actual TV.

Yeah, leave that on when you're not home.

It really looks like a TV.

And

robbers can see it from the street and think, huh, let's steal that TV.

You're old, these children can celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Rubik's Cube, but don't bother inviting me.

I find them difficult, annoying, and pointless.

And I don't like Rubik's Cube either.

Neural, if you're selling me something you claim is clinically proven to reduce pain

and it looks like this, you have to tell me what the fuck it is and

where does it go

and how it reduces pain because if it's going in me, it looks like it causes pain.

New rule,

whatever rat boy summer is, leave me out of it.

According to the internet, women are gaga for a new type of hot guy who has rodent-like features.

Signs your man might qualify include he drags pizza slices down subway steps, and when he comes, you jump up and scream.

All right.

And finally, new rule: okay, boomer, isn't an argument.

It's actually an admission you don't have one.

Gen Z complains a lot that I make fun of them, but I don't feel too bad about it because they never engage with the idea itself.

It's always just, you're old.

Yeah, that's not an argument.

It's a prejudice, the thing you purport to hate.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I can't look at your Queers for Palestine banner and pretend it's not idiotic, but

just because something is progressive doesn't always make it progress.

It's about ideas, not age.

And to prove my point, tonight I'd like to talk about how mind-blowingly batch it crazy a lot of people my age are.

A funny thing is happening in this election.

The younger voters are liking Trump more and more, and the over 60 crowd, which normally leans Republican, is this time preferring Biden.

And I think I know why.

If you're my age, you've seen friends and loved ones go down a Facebook rabbit hole or get sucked into the Fox News vortex and never come back the same.

Transformed from a normal person into some lunatic who's hoarding survival seeds and

thinks Jewish space lasers cause wildfires and chemtrails are a form of mind control.

There's a viral tweet that says, Fox News and Facebook did to our parents what they said video games would do to us.

I think the reason Biden is winning seniors is we want our friends back.

We all

We all have that uncle or grandparent or in-law or favorite TV star.

That was Roseanne.

I think it went by quickly.

Or movie star who used to be an everyday reasonable citizen but now forwards emails in all caps about election conspiracies and QAnon conspiracies and what 5G is really going to be used for and what's going on in the basement of Hillary's pizza parlor and

how the reptilian shadow government is threatening to turn everyone gay by putting fluoride in the Budweiser.

A popular political book once asked, what's the matter with Kansas?

Today we have to ask, what's the matter with grandma?

We've watched too many friends disappear into this weird black hole.

Many are married to Supreme Court justices.

Two days after the 2020 election, Clarence Thomas's wife, Ginny, who met Clarence back in the 1980s when they did porn together.

She forwarded a text to the chief of staff of the President of the United States saying that she heard that the Biden crime family and ballot fraud co-conspirators were going to be taken to barges off Guantanamo Bay to face military

tribunals.

And then she wrote: I hope this is true.

Yes, and I hope you get checked for lead poisoning.

Then there's America's Karen,

Martha Ann Alito, wife of Justice Samuel Alito,

who holds a master's degree in library science and yet has devoted her life to waging war against neighborhood lawn signs.

Martha Ann rants about getting even with the media, not realizing that now kooks like her are the media.

A recent study found that a mere 2,100 people accounted for spreading 80% of the fake news on Twitter during the last election, and most of them were older white Republican women.

We have met the Russian Trollbot Army, and it's your Aunt Bonnie.

That's who it is.

Yentas who post all day, and it's always a retweet, and it's always wrong.

They watch lies on TV and believe it because it's TV, and then post it to their friends who believe it because it's Facebook.

And it's not just Facebook, but also X, formerly known as Twitter, and Fox News, formerly known as News.

A study once found that using the Fox News website as a news source made you less informed than watching no news at all.

It's the ozempic of knowing things.

And still not as bad as the news finds me people.

Yeah, that's the growing cohort of Americans who believe that, if a story's important enough, it will find its way to their social media feed.

Yeah, these are people who trust their Facebook friends to watch Hannity for them.

But here's the thing.

With kids, when they get lost to the insanity of social media, we can and increasively schools, districts are doing this, taking away their phones for at least part of the day.

But you can't take away a 70-year-old's phone.

You can just make the text smaller.

So

we have to figure out why so many seniors are so susceptible to fake news.

Now part of it is, unlike the kids, they didn't grow up with bullshit media, corporate-funded, narrative-driven, and completely partisan.

So when that came along, they had no immunity for it.

Boomers.

We grew up with old school Time magazine and Walter Cronkite.

Closest thing to fake news back then was pretending Liberace was looking for a woman.

The boomer generation never developed the antibodies for clickbait.

They turned on the TV one day and Lawrence Welk was gone.

And in his place was some guy named Lou Dobbs who was telling you the reason you had a good weekend was Donald Trump.

Have a great weekend.

The president makes such a thing possible for us all.

How does this happen?

Well, part of it the left has to own.

The presence of an aggressively anti-common sense agenda on the far left is a powerful magnet pulling people to the right.

But also, old people are just cranky,

which fits very well with the hating menu prepared at Fox and Facebook.

And there's one other reason, because this is America, where we abandon our elderly to nursing homes, because just leaving them in the forest is illegal.

So we can't be too surprised when they turn to the Fox News family as a replacement for their own.

We warehouse them in homes, gouge them on their medications, target them with phone and internet scams, and force them to work past retirement age.

We treat old people like children and children like sages.

No nation disrespects the elderly like America does.

Makes them feel invisible, barely tolerated and underappreciated for the wisdom they could offer.

And maybe that's what drives so many to be hateful to anything coming from younger people who have not been particularly nice to them.

Maybe the generation gap can't be bridged, but that would be a good place to start.

All right, that's our show over here at the David Copperfield Theater in Vegas this weekend at the MGM.

and the MG Music Hall in Boston, July 26th, in Toyota, Oakdale, and Warrington, Connecticut, on the July 27th.

Thank you, you, Andrew Clomo, Adam Kinzinger, and Jiminy Cliff.

All right, go watch overtime on YouTube.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10.

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For more information, log on to HBO.com.