Bonus Bill – Ep. #494

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Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.
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Transcript

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

There we go.

Thank you very much.

Well, I'm glad you're keeping your chin up because this is another edition of America, The Final Days.

Another very dispiriting week.

I don't know if you've been following the whole thing with the Mueller report came out and the Attorney General, William Barr.

And okay, okay, so William Barr, the Attorney General, who's totally in Trump's pocket, he, yes,

he appeared before the Senate yesterday, and he is, you know, the Democrats saying, acting as Trump's defense attorney.

Of course, you go over to Fox News, they say, oh no, he totally owned the Democrats.

It's just more split-screen America.

You know, it's like that book: Democrats are from Mars, Republicans are from Russia.

Trump is loving his testimony.

Trump was so pleased at what he was watching yesterday, his hair started purring.

I think he's alive up there.

But my favorite part of the whole thing yesterday was Lindsey Graham, another one of Trump's enablers.

He was trying to defend Trump, and he read quotes from FBI agents to try to prove that these FBI agents were biased against Trump.

And he read the one where he's, and this is in the congressional record, where he's quoting the FBI agent saying, Trump's a fucking idiot.

I think we have the tape.

Trump is a fucking idiot.

And

Trump was like, thank you?

And Lindsey Graham was like, yeah, and they also say your ass is ginormous and your kids are idiots.

And Trump's like, okay, I think you've made your point.

And they say, you've got a small dick.

Okay, we get it.

All the Democrats now have called on Barr to resign.

Kamala Harris, Schiff, Elizabeth Warren, Julian Castro, Corey Booker, Pete Buttigieg, Joe Biden, all of them called on Barr to resign.

Spoiler alert.

He's not going to.

I can't even watch the Democrats anymore.

They're my team, but you know, it's like watching your team lose by eight touchdowns.

It's just sad.

And to dramat today, when Barr didn't show up for their subpoena, to dramatize this, that Barr's absence was threatening the Republic, they put out an empty chair.

Ooh, burn.

This is the political equivalent of getting stood up and ordering two dinners anyway.

Biden got some competition today.

Michael Bennett is in.

I know.

Michael Bennett is running for president.

His campaign slogan is: Google me.

So now there are 21 Democrats.

We're getting into Duggar family numbers.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

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