Bonus Bill (Originally aired 08/05/16)

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Now it's time for Real Time 2.0, your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear.

How are you?

Thank you.

You can sit down.

That's very kind of you.

Oh, I'm getting

all for clumps.

Well, because this is our last rehearsal.

Tomorrow's our last show until September 16th.

We get a little summer break.

I know.

Luckily, I have it on good authority.

Donald Trump will not do anything strange or stupid.

I feel like a guard at a mental hospital who's going on break just when they wheel in Hannibal Lecter.

Yeah, the Trump campaign had a week unlike any week we've ever seen, and that includes him and his past weeks.

I mean, it is just cuckoo cloud land.

It reminds me a little of the McCain campaign after he picked Sarah Palin, and a lot

like when Brittany Spear shaved her head.

But all that pales in comparison to the thing that really is the scariest of all.

We found out what he thinks of our nuclear policy, which is use it or lose it.

Yeah, he said to he had a briefing with some high security guy, and he three times apparently asked the guy, if we have nuclear weapons, why can't we use them?

He doesn't seem to be able to grasp the concept of mutually assured destruction which is weird because he's destroying the Republican Party

yeah he's making Obama look good Obama's approval rating is at a four-year high and speaking of four-year highs if Trump gets elected I'm gonna be on one

Even in Fox News polls, he's down by nine points to Hillary now.

And of course, Fox News polls have changed a lot since Roger Ailes was kicked out.

You know, back in the Roger Ailes days, they would just call you up and ask what you're wearing.

And

if you know they're stroking it.

And I don't know if you've been following the transgender bathroom controversy in this country the last couple of months, but the Supreme Court now ruled that a Virginia high school can block a transgender student from using the ladies' room.

Now, usually when there's a boy in the girls' bathroom in a Virginia high school, it's because his mother just gave birth to him.

So,

thank you very much.

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