Overtime – Episode #383 (Originally aired 04/08/16)

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series, Real Time with Bill Maher.

Okay, here we are on YouTube.

You made it, baby.

Andy, should Donald Trump run as a third-party candidate if he doesn't get the Republican nomination?

Okay, good question.

Well, he actually can't.

You have to start...

getting on the ballot starting March in states like Texas.

So he can't do that.

And then write-in candidate, there are seven or eight states that don't even allow allow for that.

So if he doesn't win the nomination, there's no difference.

That's right.

Okay.

And if he doesn't win the nomination, what do you think is going to happen?

I mean,

where are his supporters going to be?

I mean, historically, I mean, this is, there's a...

They're going to be angry.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, in 1824, Andrew Jackson was going to be a little bit more.

You have to tell me about 1824.

The election was stolen.

Look, it's happened historically.

It's not a good thing.

But I don't think we're going to be rioting.

I mean, that's not good.

No, I think it's great how you guys keep saying we hope there's no rioting.

Right.

You know, at our rallies, we always say, and the media never reports this, but we always say, you know, no violence.

No violence.

We say no violence.

By the way, Sonic Hiles, it's on tape.

No.

There's also, there's a video of a black police officer.

Great.

Who's on?

Thank you.

Who's on?

Right.

Who went to, he said, you know, I just wanted to see what was going on.

I went to a Trump rally.

The people who were making trouble were the outside agitators as the Southern Shepherd.

They were trying to provoke.

Yeah.

And then that could could very well be true.

Okay.

But the sucker punch guy, come on, you got to come down on him.

That was a sucker punch.

We don't like violence.

Okay, great.

Are the revelations of the Panama papers,

by the way, I don't use Panama Papers at all?

Are you in them?

I'm so nervous you're doing.

I really.

I don't know where you store your money, so I don't know if you're in them.

No.

Likely to hear,

no American so far.

Likely to hear any changes in American policy.

Boy, Bernie nailed that one.

Did you see the tape of him five years ago saying,

I mean, I don't know if that's going to change there.

People, you know, in Panama, there's like 12 other countries that do that.

I mean, rich people are always going to find.

Are there really revelations?

Is it really a revelation that billionaires are hiding money in tiny countries?

Is this new?

Well, the President of Iceland stepped down, though, right?

Yes, he did.

Yeah, the Argentinian guys being looked into.

There's heads of state being looked into.

And I think it gives our politicians a little bit more backbone to do things like, you know, stop the inversions that just happened.

That was a big victory for the Obama administration this week: that you're not going to have just yet another company say, Oh, I'm suddenly not American anymore, but you know, I'm a completely American company for every reason other than tax purposes.

I mean, we've got dozens of companies in this country that spend more on lobbying than they do on taxes.

Absolutely.

And that's crazy.

Oh, it is crazy.

When giant corporations pay no taxes,

$100 billion, $100 billion, they think are being hidden away just from America.

Imagine the job training we could do with $100 billion.

And by the way,

for those who say, and the argument is always, well, we're going to let the corporations bring the money back and we'll tax it at a one-time rate.

And it's always like a sweetheart rate, like 4%.

This was done.

Bush did it.

And the promise was, well, when that money comes back, of course, they're going to create jobs with it.

They did nothing of the sort.

They held out the business.

They bought hookers and

doctors.

They also held it.

They also held it for the money.

Create one friggin' job.

Andy, is Trump's plan to get Mexico to pay for the wall?

Oh, yes, that came out this week.

Is that viable?

Now, how would you describe that plan?

You could do it better than I could.

Right.

So the idea was.

He has to laugh before you.

Hello.

I'm always.

Always stop laughing.

I'm not laughing.

Thank you.

No, no, no.

Look.

So the way that you can do it is with the trade and balance.

I'm a happy warrior.

Republicans are happy warriors.

We're optimistic people.

Absolutely.

That is true.

We believe the best.

Okay?

So

Trump's going to have Mexico pay for this wall.

I'm feathering my nest and Trump wins.

I don't need ambassadors.

I just don't want to be sent off to Guantanamo Bay.

We won't audit you.

I mean, Jesus Christ, Trump will fucking disappear me.

I mean, this guy wouldn't think twice.

He sued me.

You know, I know.

You know, he sued me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What did you think of that lawsuit, Andy?

Oh, I remember that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We talked about that.

I mean, come on.

That was pretty dumb.

Yeah, it was like whether or not he was an orangutan.

Exactly.

I mean, I said.

And you said you.

I said, as a joke, I offered him $5 million if he could prove that his father wasn't an orangutan.

Right.

And

he went into court with his birth certificate

as if it was going to say orangutan.

He said, I want my money.

You've got to admit, he's a little thin certainly.

But he got all thinner.

But it's important that that First Amendment precedent, which was set by your friend Larry Flint, that Supreme Court case, it is important under the umbrella.

That's true.

He was Jerry Fall while making the joke about his bane his mother in an outhouse.

Right.

All right, so you have to be able to make these jokes.

He's got to take them, and he shouldn't be so litigious.

He's like a Scientologist.

Like, I'm wheeling every whisper all day.

So, anyway,

what about the plan?

The plan to, now he's going to stop the remittances back to Mexico?

You could tax the remittances, or, I mean, there are all sorts of things where money moves from one country to another that you could do.

You could do a foreign trade deal with Mexico where there's a percentage of goods coming in until the wall is paid for.

But don't you think that if we screw with their economy, it'll make more people come over because their economy is bad?

I mean, I know.

I know.

Why are we pretending?

Why are we still pretending that Donald Trump wants to be president?

All right?

This is a publicity stunt that went awry.

I'm telling you, three in the morning when the ambient wears off, he's going to go to Andy's.

It's very real.

He's going to say, Andy, he's going to be like, George Costanzi, you've got to get me out of this.

You've got to help me, Andy.

Please.

I think I've win.

I'm doing everything to get out of it.

I've offended everybody.

The process is too painful for him not to be serious about it.

And by the way, I was the one guy who always said he was serious about it.

Oh, yeah.

He's very serious.

I've never been for him, but I always said, this is not a publicity son.

This guy has an ego as big as all outdoors.

Yeah, like he would hate it when he walked in the room and they play held with a chief.

Love it.

Love it.

Exactly.

And let me just say,

we're very lucky to be boarded by two countries that actually like us and are our friends.

So when he talks very cavalierly about

alienating Mexico and Canada, we're very fortunate.

Both of our neighbors like us, and we like them.

Let's not fuck that up, Andy.

I hear about the other people.

Yeah, Andy.

All right.

Remember 1824?

Yeah, 1824.

1824.

1824, the only time an election was stolen.

1824.

He didn't say the only time.

1960.

Right.

Well,

no other time.

Joe Kennedy paid for some votes.

Oh, also, didn't, what about the 1870s?

What about 2000?

Let's retry Bush anymore.

I'll do it right now.

I'm ready.

Get payment, boys.

All right.

I can name every president in order.

And not because I memorized it, because I know the history.

Cool.

Last question.

Will the Pope meeting with Bernie?

Yeah, Bernie Sanders is going to meet with the Pope.

I noticed none of the other candidates got an invitation from Frank.

Okay.

Will the Pope

Will the Pope meeting with Bernie Sanders influence the outcome of our election in any way?

No.

I don't know, but it's kind of cool.

I mean, you know, I think it's kind of cool that the Pope recognized a fellow socialist.

Right, exactly.

You know,

they think alike.

They think alike.

All right.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

We're going to go.

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