C03 - Ep. 20 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Tween the Devil and Deep Blue Sea

This podcast is supported by Progressive, a leader in RV Insurance.

RVs are for sharing adventures with family, friends, and even your pets.

So, if you bring your cats and dogs along for the ride, you'll want Progressive RV Insurance.

They protect your cats and dogs like family by offering up to $1,000 in optional coverage for vet bills in case of an RV accident, making it a great companion for the responsible pet owner who loves to travel.

See Progressive's other benefits and more when you quote RV Insurance at Progressive.com today.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, pet injuries, and additional coverage and subject to policy terms.

Attention all small biz owners.

At the UPS store, you can count on us to handle your packages with care.

With our certified packing experts, your packages are properly packed and protected.

And with our pack and ship guarantee, when we pack it and ship it, we guarantee it because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed.

Visit the ups store.com/slash guarantee for full details.

Most locations are independently owned.

Product services, pricing, and hours of operation may vary.

See Center for details.

The UPS store.

Be unstoppable.

Come into your local store today.

I get so many headaches every month.

It could be chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.

Botox, autobotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine.

It's not for those who have 14 or fewer headache days a month.

Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor.

Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms.

Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.

Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk.

Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck, and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache.

Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness.

Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection.

Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis, or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

Why wait?

Ask your doctor.

Visit BotoxchronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

more.

How do you do, all you holly fonts?

Flutter your fur into the stinky dragon and knock back our latest latte, punch trunk love.

It's a mixture of invulnerability tea leaves, a blowing of raspberries, fresh mammoth mint leaves, a trumpet blast of holy water, and topped with a cone of shiny sparkles.

One gulp of this golden guzzler and you'll be on the elephone with your local deity in no time.

Previously, our adventurers were rewarded at a rainy roarboo as Toll reminisced running into his role model Boger for the first time.

B-Team browsed the three floors of the fishing house and found an unfinished fry recipe, opened a nightmarish book of a nightstand,

and snatched a mysterious map and sea chart.

But what truly took the crab cake was Toll's truth bomb.

He is no ordinary orc, but unthinkably a thaumatic this whole time.

Cobble a cuppa, and let's continue this Kokoda's chronicle.

Hello, everyone, welcome to Tales of the Sticky Dragon.

I'm your dungeon master, Gustavos Rola, and I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

Okay.

You held on that arrow a little extra long this time.

If your character were to write a book, what would it be about?

And what would the title be?

That's submitted by Maddie DX.

Everyone, go to roll initiative.

Let's see who's gonna answer first.

Destiny 14.

19.

Are you an initiative or just a d20?

Man, dude, it looks like everyone's doing a d20.

Stick with the d20.

I've not been kept in my giving my initiative modifier.

17.

So looks like it's Gunther Doug Toll the naddy cool gunther lead it off hi my name is chris damaris and i'm a male crook folk frog-ish fighter named gunther and guess why'd you make a stinky face

it was like a weird a weird way to go about introducing yourself i don't know

mixing it up uh anyway

uh for i'm for my book i think i would write about the uh my

village and the culture and the lives of

us Croke folk and maybe

about the belief system that we have there and about

the importance of faith and devotion to both family and culture.

And I would call it leap of faith.

Oh, I don't think that's awesome.

There's a lot of track getting laid.

I was waiting for it.

Yeah, there was.

Were there blank spaces between those tracks being laid down?

Like, the does the train need to like hop a few times

on that track like some kids put little pennies and in coins on the track it felt more like they're just holes where they're like just like we don't need tracks here if it goes fast enough it can go over this hole what would uh would gunther write it alone or would you like contract bundlap to help you ghost right a little bit

Well, I'm not very good at illustrations, so maybe I would get help with that

from some of bun lap or someone, even I don't know who else, but I think I'm not good at art.

The publisher can connect you with an illustrator.

It's okay.

They'll work it out.

Yes.

Bunlap.

I just love the way he says bun lap every time.

It makes me so happy.

Gus keeps bringing up bun lap, so that means he either really likes bun lap or bun lap's the big baddie this campaign that we're going to find out arc five.

Make it happen.

I'm like Barbara.

I like the way he says bun lap, so I'm trying to get him to say it as much as possible.

All right.

Thank you, Gunther.

Who's who's up next?

Next up, we got Doug.

We do have Doug.

Hello, guys.

Welcome to another episode of Tales from a Stinky Dwagon.

Very happy to be here with you all.

Uh, I'm a Bug Bale art official played by Barbara Dunkelman.

Hello, everyone.

Wow, I do not change my voice that much when I do Doug anymore.

I feel like we're running the same.

It wasn't as stark.

And if I were to write a book, it would be called Big Heart, Big Ideas.

Okay, don't laugh at his book.

I'm not.

I just,

because, you know, I think Doug has a lot of big ideas and he's been, you know, trying to make a lot of his ideas.

Congenital heart disease.

Normal size heart for the size I am, which is bigger than some other people.

It scales appropriately with my body type,

which is loud.

Just like how heart now has three syllables.

Yeah, just have a lot of ideas,

a lot of learning I like to do.

And, you know, I think it's important to also care about people.

So big heart.

This actually sounds like what's the

brother-in-law in severance, his book?

It sounds like his book.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a bunch of proverbial, you know, proverbs and

sayings and everything like that.

And that's what Doug's writing down in his journal this entire time.

We've been

traversing across Endridge Bay and everything.

Don't worry.

Next time, I will have a big long explanation of what the book is, followed by a pun next time.

Don't you worry.

Yeah, big heart, bigger ideas.

I'm a fan.

You can sign me up for a pre-order of that, Doug.

Okay, you're first on the list.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

That moves us on to Tolf, Europe.

Europe, more like North America.

Just go.

Just go.

Just go.

Let's just brush past that.

Mikey, you can cut that part.

Hey, it's me.

It's Blaine Gibson.

Hey, and I play Toll, who's a male Thaumatech barbarian.

Hello.

That's new.

That's fun.

Yeah, yeah.

Hello.

Does he want to resemble an orc?

What?

Oh, you'll learn more.

Perhaps.

Maybe.

Ask the right questions.

The questions three.

Are you like a carnival device that we would put a coin in?

Maybe.

Like the guy in big.

So, a fun fact: Tolv has already written several books and pamphlets.

Yeah, I'm published.

I've had a lot of time.

I was thinking of all of the titles and the different books.

And I can just, if you want, I can name off all of the titles of my famous books.

Do you want to hear?

Yes, but I'm a little disappointed you're not calling them titles.

Titles?

Titles.

Well, you'll be pleased to know that they are very nautical based, you know, being a sailor.

Nautical nautical.

I know a lot about knots, you know.

So, you know, I've got the do's and do nots of tying knots.

I've got knot, another knot book.

That was the sequel to the first one.

I got nuts about knots.

Naughty or nice, a holiday book about tying knots.

Stop me if I keep going.

I'm nocturnal.

A book on tying knots in the night.

Hitting knots and tying knots.

A musical guide to tying knots.

Not knot.

Who is there?

It's a book about knots and knot jokes.

Knotting off a pamphlet on how to make a hammock out of rope and knots for sleepies.

Do not enter another pamphlet on securing doors with knots.

What?

Yes.

After all of these terrible puns, I'm going to enable a do not resuscitate on you.

I'm over it.

That was my next one.

It's the knot book about medical knots.

Okay, I'll stop.

I've taken enough time.

Okay, yeah, get out of here.

That's a, that's enough out of your toll.

Okay.

To be or not to be the question of whether or not you should get your tubes tied.

Oh, that's great.

Let's

co-operate on that one.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Co-oper.

Co-author.

Co-author.

yeah.

Cooperate.

Collaborate?

Collaborate?

Don't sleep on, yeah.

Hey, Blaine, don't worry about it.

You don't talk for a living.

Yeah.

All right.

Listen.

You have to know words for a living.

It's okay.

On that note, let's switch it over to Natty.

On that note?

Sorry.

I can't stop thinking of ideas.

You cannot stop thinking.

Hi, everybody.

I'm Naughty Wonder.

And

did you say you say your own name on as an accident?

No.

John Rice Sr.

here, I play Natty Wonder, who's a drow warlock, mother of Mr.

Gigglesworth, aka Giggy.

And I've actually, you know, I had previously never thought that I'd be an author.

I figured I was born for the performative arts, not the literary ones.

But, you know, with all these adventures that we've already been on and all these people we've met and different places we've been and all that kind of stuff I feel like someone ought to put this all down into like an instructional book for like other people who might be following in our footsteps and it made me I was trying to think of like a clever title for it and I honestly I was I was thinking of a title and I was getting real hungry and I was thinking man I could really go for something from my mama's crock pot recipes

any of y'all ever had a mama make stuff in crock pot no absolutely you just throw everything in the pot and something great comes out and i feel like that's a really good like metaphor for my book so i figured i'm gonna call it naddy's crock pot of everything

and that's what that's what it's gonna be it's gonna be a guide on to how to to do what we do get good stuff out of your life yes do you want to cooperate on uh crock knot uh recipe and not tying book yeah i mean we probably should have a section on like what to do with rope for like you know survival needs so maybe there's a whole knot section in there

Like, a type of food that involves some type of string, you know, like spaghetti.

No, no, I'm talking about that.

I'll play Mate.

Wrong show.

Wrong show.

What's it called?

It's like you put the meat and you wrap it in something.

Like a roast of some kind?

To duck in?

No.

Gordon Whamsey makes it a lot.

I mean, you use Golden Twine.

Yeah.

Wellington.

Yeah, Wellington.

Beef Wellington.

And don't you use wool for that?

Yeah.

You do, yeah, yeah.

Hey, we can have a section in the book about Beef Wellington's.

It's literally called Natty's Crockpot of Everything.

So everything go in it.

This crockpot talk makes me realize that.

That's our new podcast.

Honestly?

Link needs a crock pot in the next Breath of the Wild, the next Legend of Zelda game for all the cooking you do.

You should carry one, put everything in there, walk around, then an hour later, it's done.

Yeah, I like it.

Crock pots aren't in video games enough.

I agree.

I agree.

Do you think

I could examine you?

Just, you know, for my own research, because I'm just like so fascinated by how he built you and just it's just state-of-the-art tech.

As you're asking this question to Tolv, Doug, you notice that the sigil on Tolv's shield begins glowing faintly and then brighter and brighter.

And before you can comment on it, there's a loud pounding at the door, and the door bursts open.

Ah, now.

You see the silhouette of a golden thaumatec and you hear a voice call out, Tov?

It's you!

Told, the glow from your shield sigil casts a pale glow across the golden metallic figure.

A face falls to the floor, something like a mask with magenta hair.

A silhouette stands short and stout on one leg.

roughly the size of a halfling.

She's holding five daggers in each hand.

No, wait, the daggers are her fingers?

Glowing magenta eyes fixate on Tov's metallic flesh.

Without another word, her footsteps clunk forward toward you.

She reaches out with bladed digits, but the flash of metal fingers gives her pause.

The daggers are sheathed inside her hand, and she reaches out once more for an embrace.

It's me, Tollv.

It's Elva, your sister.

Oh, Tolv.

Good to see you.

Wait, does this mean you're Pancak?

Is that what this is?

Or did you just rip Pancak's hair off because you had magenta hair?

I was forced to be Pancak for a while.

Tolv, you remember your sister Elva as being something, uh, for lack of a better word, like something of a conniving rogue that would normally wear an arming doublet made of plum-colored leather, and that her dagger fingers can also fire as crossbow bolts.

That is like so sick.

Thinking back about Elva, Tolv, can you remember, what was the last raid that you and Elva went on together?

Oh yeah, it was ship-to-ship combats.

I remember that much.

We caught up with a

vessel hauling treasures between lands.

And I remember with my great strength, I threw Elva onto the ship, and then I took a rope and I swung across, super pirate style.

It was so cool, but also very violent, and I regret it.

Yeah, I'm reminiscing, but it's not like happy, though.

It's like we did terrible atrocities, atrocities, but I mean, no doubt they were very cool.

Yeah, it sounds cool, but like, was there something that had went wrong during that, or like anything that you were trying to particularly escape or any triumph?

Ironclad did not care much for prisoners.

You know, with the ship full of thaumotechs, he doesn't really have to feed us, he knows.

But when we get a prisoner on board, then he's got mouths to feed, so yeah, I'll let you fill in the blanks on that one, Goose.

Man, children, you don't have to feed.

That sounds nice.

Yeah, I was gonna say

nice and cheap.

So, Tov, this is uh your sister, huh?

This is my sister, Elva.

So, like, you didn't recognize her, or like, any like even a tinge of her voice when we were talking to her, or anything like that?

That's kind of sad.

It's been so long since we've seen each other, and as you can see, Elva was a cunning rogue, you know, very good at disguises.

Elva, could you recognize me and my get-up?

Oh, I saw you, but I was in disguise.

You know, I was undercover.

Barbara, no laughing.

This is a very serious moment.

I need your full attention.

We are a dramatic podcast.

Which I know it's gonna obviously be like dubbed over by the voice actor for now Elva, but I would appreciate seriousness on set.

I am performing my art here.

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Sner.

Since I was disguised as Pancak, I would understand if you didn't know it was me.

Forgive me for not seeing you, but it's so good to see you.

I didn't know if I was the last to make it off the ship.

Tolv would give her a big embrace because this is like, this is truly family.

He hasn't felt this close to someone since like Bjorn, you know?

Do you know of any of our other brothers and sisters?

Did anyone else make it?

Oh, and that's why I was dressed as Pancak.

I'm on a mission trying to find all our siblings and see if we can reunite.

You see, I think that the sea drinker can help us find our other siblings.

I'm on a race against Ironclad to find her and hopefully find our siblings.

All I know is the Sea Drinker is imprisoned on an island and finding it is, oh, it's difficult.

Natty raises her hand.

Oh, yes.

Hi.

Um, I'll introduce myself for the first time to the real you, uh, Natty.

Uh, hello, uh, Elva.

I have a question, because this is all quite interesting and quite moving.

And I'm curious with your guys' desire to find your other siblings.

I can totally understand wanting to reconnect with familial connections.

I'm not familiar with this

thaumathingies that you guys are throwing around there as a term to describe you.

Could you enlighten me into what that means as far as like, what are you and how do you operate as an individual?

Because it sounds like you're talking about robots, but I feel like I've been around Tov long enough, and Tov don't strike me as a robot.

I think Elva would turn to Tov and say, have you been hiding secrets from your friends?

Yeah, no, they think that I have been an orc this entire time, sister.

Can you believe that?

Yeah.

That was a beautiful laugh.

Wow.

You know,

I will, to Tov's credit, I will say, like, I'm kind of glad that he hid this secret from us, because I think that if I knew the true him, I might have been a little too intimidated and maybe just a little scared by him because i've never seen i mean you know i work on inventions all the time and i do plenty of tinkering i've never seen anything quite uh like this type of specimen oh you tinker can you perhaps help me find my leg and maybe reattach it to my body absolutely the finding of the leg might not be my specialty but attaching it to the body

your leg was the one we found underground you found a leg underground yeah because toll said he recognized that metal but didn't didn't tell us what he recognized it from.

I was being coy.

Ooh.

He was turd.

Didn't we ask about this, though?

Like, didn't we ask if the leg we found underground it was a right leg, but Pancakes missing a left leg, correct?

Pancak is missing half a leg.

The leg you found was a full leg.

And the imposter was missing a full leg.

Oh, yeah, my whole leg is missing.

Wait,

there was someone who was impostering you.

That's not another one of your siblings, is it?

No.

No, see,

Elva.

Imposter.

See, all right, I think this is actually good that Doug said that because I want to bring up, y'all need to stop with them secrets because you're even confusing people on what the secrets are and the secrets, okay?

So let's all just make a little period right now on secret time and we start being more open about ourselves.

That Elva was posing as Pancak.

Yeah.

And then we rescued the real Pancak.

Yeah, yeah.

Where did you get red yarn from?

Where's this?

Wow, you're running all over connecting dogs.

Someone's relisting to Wed Webb.

Wed Web.

Just for clarity, it was a throwaway line a couple episodes ago, but I mentioned that when you all ran into the imposter in the cave, that it looked like the imposter had hay or something for the upper part of its leg.

Yeah.

Because it was missing its full leg versus Pancak, who was only missing half of the leg.

Oh, yeah.

So then maybe that other leg that we found was also belonging to this person, so you're not the only one, Elva, with missing leg.

But then that means that ironclad still has control of some of our brothers and sisters

the material of the leg that we found on the ground y'all you're pretty sure belongs to maybe one of your siblings because it's similar

it belongs to elva it belongs to me i feel like i need to make a diagram here or something part of a leg not a full leg no okay pancak the real pancake is missing part of a leg

elva Disguised as pancake, was not.

Elva's missing their whole leg, but was disguising that they were only missing half a leg through straw.

Here's where Barbara messed up.

This is what I was thinking.

I'm pulling out the board with the red web, as you guys said.

Okay, okay.

Okay, so initially, we had pancakes imposter pancakes, and we were like, someone's impostering pancakes.

We need to find the real one.

Yes.

Save them.

And then we did.

I thought the one we saved now revealed to actually be Elva.

And I was like, oh, they were just pretending to be this Pancak person, but no, this is a completely different character.

Yeah.

Because we ran into the imposter one in the cave and then later saved the real one from the prison.

Correct.

A disguise within a disguise within a feint within a feint.

We've been on the same page the whole time.

We're all caught up now.

Why were you pretending to be Pancak and working with the mean people?

I will answer that, but first first I want to answer Natty's question from earlier.

I will get your question, Gunther.

I mean, Frogman.

We have not met.

I am Elva.

I'm not exactly sure how we were made, or created, or born, or whatever that entails.

I was hoping that the sea drinker could enlighten me.

Ironclad always said he was our father, but I know that not to be true.

Yeah, from my limited understanding of what I am, you know, I've just always assumed I was a combination of technology and magic, you know, and I just had to listen to, or we all had to listen to whatever Ironclad says, you know, but I mean, technically speaking, I am not at all organic matter.

I'm completely machine.

I get that.

Elvis, did you just say something along the lines of that you don't think Ironclad's the one who is your originator?

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't think so.

We're under his servitude for so long.

Okay, so he had he you don't think he'd have the knowledge in order to create something as advanced as you guys, y'all.

I don't think so.

Okay, I was just curious, though.

Like, are all your siblings told, like, do you guys all have like similar, like, you look alike, like, as if your siblings, y'all, are you all covered in skin, or are some of your siblings, like, just the pure robotics?

Well, back when we served on Ironclad's ship, you know, we didn't all have skin, we were just thaumataks, you know, we just had all of our wires and circus circuitry and everything exposed.

But, you know, when I came onto the land, you know, and I Bjorn found me, then uh, it wasn't until after he passed that I decided to adopt his identity because I was afraid of what people would think.

Where did you get orc skin?

Well, you know how I told you that Bjorn passed away.

Are you wearing Bjorn's skin?

Yeah, yeah, this is.

Did you also ask for sugar water?

Yeah, or put the lotion in the basket, be more lacking.

Does Bjorn know that he's missing his skin and that you have it?

Bjorn has moved on.

He is now past, but I do want to make it clear.

It was one of his dying wishes that I,

you know, donned his visage.

You know, that if he was going to pass away, he said he wanted to protect me.

He was like my father.

He donated his body to science.

Essentially, yes.

And I was very uncomfortable with the idea.

It was very difficult, but, you know, I mean, I didn't want to say no to the person that I loved, you know, so I decided to take on Bjorn's, you know,

his appearance.

If I die, please do not take my skin.

I wouldn't fit in your skin.

I have already measured all of you.

I think John is the only one.

This is a last-ditch effort, you know, a worst-case scenario, though.

So, sorry, I just made the connection.

So, we put your beard in the store, the Stinky Dragon store.

That's actually a removable beard.

Well, yes, but I've grown quite, you know, I fall.

No, that's John.

I'm not talking to Tove right now.

I'm talking to Blaine.

Tove exists between four walls and realities.

Yes, we're going to be.

I think we need to go back and re-edit that entry in the store and change it to Bjorn's beard.

Oh, no, that'd be too spoilery.

Maybe, like, further, further down the line.

Maybe, yeah, yeah, no, I get you.

I get you, Gus.

We always just try to make decisions based on not spoiling stuff, but I feel you, Gus.

Full disclosure, and they won't be out by the time this episode comes out, probably.

But, like, my character shirt is going to be a cool Thaumotech robot.

I mean, let's be honest, why would I not?

In fact, Elva, I mean, in your times on the mainland and traveling around on your own looking for our brothers and sisters, how do you feel like we would be perceived by the general population if we were just in our Thaumotech skin?

You know, do you think people would fear us?

Do you think I'm safe to take off Bjorn's body?

I think that plays into the question that your little frog friend asked, actually.

You see, when we sailed under Ironclad, we killed so many people and did so many bad things.

I think the world is not ready to see us the way we truly exist, or they would be very angry.

Plus, we already have character animated things that would require money to redo.

Gunther, you stop breaking the fourth wall.

We already got one fourth wall breaker.

I don't need another one.

It would be too expensive to make new animations.

Well, that fourth wall break aside.

I would like to see a day where people wouldn't react in horror at who I truly am.

It would be nice, as much as I love that I am carrying on Bjorn's legacy in a way.

It would be nice to be Tov, you know?

It would be nice to just be who I am.

But yes, unfortunately, I guess people are still afraid of Thomotex.

You know, I'm just gonna say this, Tov, and I don't want to speak for the whole team, but I accept you for who you are, no matter what.

And I honestly think this is pretty cool.

So.

Doug's up a robotic thumbs up.

Thanks.

Doug goes and just grabs his hand as like entirely in his paw and just holds it tight.

And Gunther grabs Doug's hand and pulls it to make sure it's real.

To expand on your question, little frog man, I was part of Ironclad's crew for many years.

During the mutiny, I lost my leg and had to go into hiding.

I tried to fix it, but I did not have the skill.

I wanted to find my siblings, and I thought maybe the sea drinker could help.

But unfortunately, she was missing.

But it turns out there was a pirate crew hiring folks that can impersonate others.

And like my brother Toll, I was pretty good at donning a disguise.

It was rumored that the crew knew about the lost deity, so I decided to infiltrate the crew and find out more.

Okay, so that actually helps clarify a little bit that whilst you are a Thaumatech person who was impersonating as Pancake, you are not the answer to all the other impersonations we saw, like the ones that we found.

You don't know about this, but we found some of these people who were gardeners in this arboreal kind of place.

And then they ended up being little punks that tried to kill us.

But you, you just, you joined up because you're like, well, I can disguise.

And so you figured that would just be a good place to go.

Oh, yeah.

Rat.

But those are not Thomatec.

I think it's just

a dad that's happening right now.

People wearing other people's skin, you know.

We're so popular, Tolf.

Yeah, yeah, we are trin setters.

Yo.

Did you have other skin on before, Elva?

No, I was in hiding, trying to figure out how to repair myself.

Have you found any of Yodo's siblings yet?

No, just Tolf.

Okay, so you guys are counting backwards, I guess.

Oh, did you capture Pancak and imprison them?

Oh, no, that was the pirates.

I was simply there to impersonate.

So, why did they capture Pancak?

It was merely my job to impersonate, and I was so focused on finding the sea drinkers' location.

I was not preoccupied with the ins and the outs of the pirate crew.

If I had to make a guess, considering what Colonel Boye that whole situation was like and that fight we had around the trees, they're basically being able to be Undarians out in the

daylight as other people to accomplish missions and tasks like steal important artifacts.

Did they capture Pancak on behalf of you?

On behalf of me?

I don't know if they specifically sought out Pancak, but that's who they captured and that's who I was assigned to impersonate.

And what did they ask that you find as Pancak?

It was merely my job to impersonate in the day-to-day and try to replace Pancak without anyone noticing so that future plans could be put into motion.

Like a talented Mr.

Ripley kind of situation.

I don't know what that is, but okay.

No, wait, that's wrong.

I was thinking Manchurian candidate.

That's different.

Holy.

I was like, I only remember Smat Damon like in a rowboat or something.

I don't know.

I don't know why I said Talented Mr.

What do you know of these future plans?

It was my understanding that.

And with that, a nearby window shatters with a spray of glass shards and a barrel of rubber bursts through the window and explodes with water and lightning yields.

Everyone, make a dexterity saving throw.

Wow.

Oh, yes.

Too much cut.

19.

8.

7, but I'm going to use a...

Oh, wait.

You have danger.

Rolling out again.

Said.

Ooh, Nat 20.

And Elva got a 17.

Uh, level reviewing.

So, Gunther, you had an 8, and Natty was a 6.

Those are two are failures.

What?

Believe it or not.

The barrel, like I said, the barrel explodes with lightning eels and water spraying out everywhere, all over the room.

Those of you who failed take 14 points of lightning damage, and then everyone else who succeeded takes seven points of damage.

You instinctively look out the window for the source of this.

And just offshore in the stormy, saline sea is a small sailboat.

It looks to have no armaments and a skeleton crew of gnolls and the unmistakable, pillowy silhouette of the privateer with a tricorn perched parrot.

His potting voice unnaturally booms across the windy waterfront.

Consider that a shot across the bow, B-team.

It's been a long night.

So let's not muck around and cut to the quick, shall we?

You stole from me two prisoners and a map.

Return them to me, or I'll seize you and everyone you love and bleed them for all they are worth in this world.

You have one minute to acquiesce, or you will quickly fathom the fatal force of my flagship, the Dockmaster.

Yeah.

This parrot takes flight from his hand and lands near the broken window.

It cocks its red-feathered face and looks around at you.

60.

59.

58.

Hey, Sticky Dragon, your favorite Bortalian private here to talk to you about your your most important mission yet, your finances.

That's right, we've all had those headaches you get while trying to make progress with your finances, whether it's overdraft fees, missed paybits, or wishing you had more ways to save.

Today's sponsor, Chive, understands that every dollar counts.

When you set up direct deposit through Chive, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.

Learn more at chime.com slash dragon.

Chime is banking done right.

You can open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees, and with qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.

To date, QIIME has spotted members over $30 billion.

That's right, $30 billion with a B.

And look, I wish I had started using QIIME sooner.

Chime has tools for daily balance updates and real-time transaction alerts to help you shape your spending habits and get on top of your financial goals.

Plus, the convenience of having access to 47,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide and 24-7 customer support really comes in handy.

Work on your financial goals through Chime Today.

Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash dragon.

That's chime.com/slash dragon.

Chime feels like progress.

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Core Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA members FDIC.

Slot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply.

Timing depends on submission of payment file.

Fees apply at out of network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to US News and World Report 2023.

Chime checking account required.

At blinds.com, it's not just about window treatments.

It's about you, your style, your space, your way.

Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right.

From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows.

Because at blinds.com, the only thing we treat better than windows is you.

Visit blinds.com now for up to 50% off with minimum purchase plus a professional measure at no cost.

Rules and restrictions apply.

60 59 58 could gunther just grab the parrot with his tongue

sure try set a timer for one minute oh god oh my gosh all right make your roll or whatever you need to do for it to grab the parrot all right that's uh

sex

50 oh oops

could i uh fire a firebolt at the parrot

10 sure

it has to make a opposing

Ah!

Oh.

Opposing roll.

11.

I don't think that hits.

14.

So you failed, Gunther, and 11 misses.

Rock!

30!

Can I, can I, can I ask for

Giggy?

Dinner time!

Can I call Giggy to come and try to eat the parrot?

Yeah, roll to see if Giggy listens.

Yeah, and we'll roll to see if Giggy listens.

It's a natural 20.

That's my baby coming up, Mom.

Rock 10.

All right.

Uh

an attack roll with Giggy, I guess.

Okay.

I want I specifically Giggy

Eat the bird.

I want Giggy to swallow it.

Uh, all right.

I rolled a 19 plus whatever Gigi's attack thing is, but that might be enough as is.

Yeah, it's enough as is.

So, I think that at this point, the parrot would not have been looking outside.

It would be looking at you all, and it would have asked, Ah, I've asked the clock.

What see ye?

And then, right as it finishes saying that sentence, Giggy puts the parrot in its mouth.

I turn to Elva and I say, put on your disguise just in case.

But guys, I think, should we go outside and negotiate?

I mean, I don't know what other choice we have.

Also, is this, to be clear, who is that, that's not ironclad, is it?

No, the privateer.

Privateer.

He was the one who was like speaking to

Inferno.

Correct.

Yeah.

Where's Laskil?

Laskil was outside working on the boat.

With Gigi.

Right.

And this is a big ship out there?

It's a small sailboat that appears to have no armaments and a skeleton crew of gnolls.

By the way, this was a real shoot the messenger kind of moment.

Wow.

I mean, you know, if you want to turn off your alarm clock, you got to hit it, you know?

Well, I thought it was a bomb.

No, it's a bird.

It was a bird.

Yeah, similar words.

Well, it ain't anymore.

It's on the water.

We can just run inland.

A very fair point.

I mean, do you want to take what they said said seriously about, you know, they would get our family and our friends and all that, blah, blah, blah.

I do know what they're doing, my family or friends.

They might be bluffing, you know.

I mean, they're on a tiny little

vessel.

They were saying, oh, watch out for our big ship, the Dockmaster, but I'm not seeing the Dark Master.

Do you know my family or friends?

Yes, in fact,

your time is up.

What say you?

Name all of our family and friends.

Jojo,

Timmy,

Billy they're bluffing I don't know the name of all your family and friends he might be white did none of these people ring a bell are these are these real names can we can we tell if

make a vibe check make an insight check inside check vibe check that's a

guys he's telling the truth he has our family and friends I rolled a one he rolled a bad one oh I got a plan I got well I got an escape plan do we want to escape or we want to answer them I think this guy is phony baloney.

We should run inland like Doug says.

Yeah.

Can I see out the window any other buildings, Gus?

Do you see?

Yeah, I mean a smattering of small buildings here along the waterfront by the Robrew.

So is there a door that we could get to that they can't see that we could go through?

So the way the Robrew is, it's like a house that sits on the water.

So it's like you walked out kind of on a small dock and there's only one door in and out.

The only other exits out of the Robrew would be like through the fishing hole or out one of the windows because you would be very exposed because there's very clearly only one door out of the roadrew.

Okay.

It doesn't matter if they can see this door or not.

You're saying I can see another building, maybe like a 200 foot away building?

Sure.

Okay, Natty casts shadow portal.

Oh, shadow portal creates a door in the nearest structure.

It is immediately bound to actually, oh, I don't even need to do it on a door.

I could do it on a wall or a cliff or a tree.

Awesome.

But it immediately bound to a similar door up to 200 feet away.

The near door must be a place within where I'm going to make the original door.

It needs to be 10 feet away from me.

So basically, long story short, I make a door portal that will magically take us to another building that they don't know where we're going.

Maybe we should say, you know, okay, we are ready for you to come inside, and then we go to the other place, and then when they go inside, they leave their ship and we take their ship.

That'd be fun.

That'd be cool.

I mean, God, we can.

Wait, wait, Tov, you actually had a smart idea.

Does the ship have a door?

Yes, it does.

Okay.

There would be, like, a door to go, like, below deck.

Okay, yes, yes, yes, okay.

Naddy's gonna cast Shadow Portal.

Shadow Portal is gonna go to their ship.

Tov, tell them where they can come aboard and take us prisoners.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

And then when they come aboard, we go take the ship.

Is everybody cool with that?

Yeah, we cool with this?

Does that work, Gus?

You try it.

I mean, I don't know if it's gonna work.

I just wanna make sure that everyone's gonna be off that ship by the time we get on there, because that might be a little awkward for us.

If not, we will have to fight.

Yeah, but we'll surprise him anyways.

Well, that's my suggestion.

I'm gonna acquiesce to leader.

I think it's an excellent plan.

Let us execute.

We shall lock the door.

Come aboard, we shall negotiate.

The boat begins slowly drifting closer and closer towards shore.

Yeah, at this point, Laskil would have come into

the Robruke and said, that looks like a good boat we could use to find the island we're looking for.

Oh yeah, we are taking that boat.

That is our boat now, Laskiel.

Where are we going to name it?

We shall never let them take you, I promise you that.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, that was very intense going through.

I didn't know that was an option.

Yes, they want you very bad.

I will not let them.

Do they?

I didn't realize that this was like a mission to save Laskiel.

There's so many other objectives.

They wanted the two prisoners.

Okay, I thought that they were just seeking revenge, but I mean, I don't know.

Is there a way we can send a message to the real Pancak?

No, Pancak would have been back at the high three.

But we need to consider that they are probably going to have people on their ship still manning it, but it'll be a far smaller crew.

So we'll knock those guys out, take the ship.

You who were saving the sea drinker, fighting my brothers and sisters.

High five, Elva.

Here's another potential plan.

Maybe one of you who's good at disguises can disguise themselves as Private Hue and be like, these are my new recruits.

Yes, I like it.

You know, just in case we want to just use the crew on the ship to actually just use it.

You know what?

At minimum, that'll cause some confusion and to our advantage.

Doug, you're adding the cherry on top of this Sunday of fun.

Sunday, fun day.

Okay, the ship gets close enough to dog or to pull up close to the Robrew, and the three knolls that you saw on the deck hop out onto the pier leading up to the Robrew and begin approaching the door.

It's working.

It's working.

Just one second.

We are changing.

Don't come in.

We are all naked.

Do not ask questions.

We will be out in one moment.

They're walking towards the door.

Alright, Nadi, use your portal.

Yeah, yeah.

What's it called?

Shadow portal.

Blues could do weekend too.

Okay, the describe the shadow portal for me, if you would.

It's a door.

He needs you to take up run time because he is doing something meta-wise.

I'm not, this is just flavor text.

This is playing in the mind's eye.

I want our audience to be able to picture what the shadow portal looks like that y'all walk through.

I was like, Can't you see that Gus is responding to an email right now?

It's very important.

In my head, this is like monster zinc, and I'm creating like an actual just wooden door with a doorknob.

But it's like if it's shadow, it's like all dark purpley and black.

And we like open it up, and on the other side is like Boo's room.

It's the uh, it's the the ship and we go through and Naddy cast disguised self and looks like the privateer.

You all begin walking through the shadow portal and you emerge on the other side except it's a little confusing.

You're not quite sure what it is that you see.

When you walk through the portal instead of stepping onto the small boat that you saw out in the fleeing sea you look around and you see you're on a towering foremast galleon and there's many knolls and the privateer on the deck that all stare at you as you emerge onto the deck of their giant galleon.

Nanny closes the door.

This will surely work.

Nanny closes the door.

How many people are in there?

Well, it's a four-mast galleon and I'll tell you what.

Actually, Gunther, you make me a perception check.

Matt 20, 21.

Eyes.

Okay, you look around and you see that there are, are, like I said, it's a four-mast ship and on top of each mast is a towering crow's nest with knoll archers in them.

And there's a capstand adorned with a large gemstone.

And as you look around, you see four additional knolls on the deck and the privateer at the helm.

Additionally, you see a descending staircase that appears to go to a lower deck.

The privateer just smiles and says, ah!

Welcome aboard.

Naddy closes the door.

I've made this very clear.

And Natty casts Shadow Portal again because I have two third level spell slots and cast it for a build we're going back to to project a not project b and we're going to a house inside of the village that they don't know where we're going okay so you close the door reopen it go in not back into the robro but into a different house yeah so who's at the door if the privateer's on the ship so if i had to take

three knolls he said three knolls yeah and we're being like illusioned because there was a big gymstone so like yeah well let's get the heck out of here we do we can't take on archers and crow's nests Yeah, you can only take on single parrots.

Yeah.

Okay, what?

Everyone roll initiative at that point.

Uh, rather than selling single parents.

Eight,

eight, six, seven,

sixteen decks.

Hit those bad rolls out of the way.

We are blowing.

So, was the giant galleon the illusion, or was the little boat the illusion?

The little one, the little ones the illusion.

Why would you want to present to be smaller so that idiots go on your tiny little ship?

Well, well dig how did they know that we were going to go on the ship

i thought it was a very good plan natty you tried i was so excited well i'm gonna try again we're gonna go somewhere else we're rolling initiative natty just give up girl it's game over

you want to fight this whole boat of course i do not want to fight the whole boat okay then maybe some some supportive terminology instead of like it's it's done what is wrong with you did your best good job good try my best isn't done yet I still got my best coming.

Okay, go

You did a great job

I Don't let it want my paywall fight how fast is the ship that we have we don't have a ship Properly not faster than a four mask like galleon we have a ship the ship that last guild was working on yeah, that's that was a robot.

That was like a robot.

Yeah

It's just fast enough.

We shall roll fast four masks means four giant sails that are all collectively getting wind and last time I checked our party party is oh i'd say one two three four five

yachts i mean it's it's nine people i trust you guys are resourceful you'll figure it out this is what i'm getting at oh we'll we'll figure it out gus

that's their motto in fact that is someone's motto yeah so just so we know it's one of the archers and then the privateer at the top of the initiative order the privateer would probably give a command that says keep them alive we need to question them.

And one of the archers up top would salute him.

I'm gonna go ahead and

equip my shield.

My glowing pretty shield.

Are you able to do that, even though we're already in an issue?

I leave that to Gus.

I'll give it to you.

We're all of you make perception checks for me.

Gunther, this is a new one for you as well.

Platinum.

Six.

23.

18.

Said hike.

So everyone,

except for the six, which was Natty, I guess Natty's so fixated on trying to move the shadow portal.

Everyone else looks around and realizes that besides just being on this four-mast galleon, you look around and you realize that there are two additional ships connected to this ship that are all connected like via suspension bridges.

And each bridge is 15 feet long and all three ships are side by side and they all have their own crews and various armaments on them.

Right.

Cool, cool, cool.

Just like the little weirdos in Moana.

I haven't seen Moana in a long time.

They had the little tiny little like, they had coconut faces and they were like tiny little like

guys and they but they all had like connected ships.

Oh yeah.

I haven't seen it.

It's been water world.

Yeah, since it like first came out in streaming, it's been a while.

Okay, the knoll up in the archer, I guess, would fire an arrow down at Doug because he's the biggest target.

Oh, no.

But the shot flies wide, missing Doug.

The archer must be surprised to see so many people suddenly appear on

the ship.

Two of the gnolls that are on the deck drop what they're doing and run over and begin trying to go after Toll.

Oof, that's a six and a twenty-two.

The 22 hits, I assume.

Yaw.

It tries to dogpile onto you.

Make a...

Like, it tries to grab you and grapple you to the ground.

Make me a strength check.

That would be a 21.

Oh, it almost drags you to the ground.

It like you know, wraps itself around your legs and starts trying to, you know, get you to fall onto the ground so it can dogpile on you.

But you might, you know, it's like too low.

Your center of gravity is over it, and you're able to counter its influence and you're able to break free.

One of the other archers would take a shot at.

Oh, Doug.

Hitting.

That's a one.

That's a miss.

And then two of the other gnolls would have seen the first one trying to dogpile on Tolv, and they're going to try to dogpile on Doug.

Oh, wait.

Everyone wants a little bit of a piece of Doug Boone today.

Doug, make me a strength check.

You dig, Doug.

Hey, I like it.

Take some inspiration.

Die for that.

Ha ha!

Old video game references for the win.

Yeah, I'm an old man.

Did you make that strength check for me, Doug?

Chan?

Chen?

That's what I heard.

The first knoll is able to grab you and then you drag you to the ground.

And then the second one jumps on as well.

They're creating like a dog pile on top of you.

Because they're like dogs.

They're gnolls.

Yeah,

knoll pile.

And a hyena pile.

And you take 20 points of lightning damage.

Could I use a reaction?

Conceivably.

So I'm not sure.

This is a shield.

One reaction which you take when you are hit by an attack.

I don't know if this is technically classified as that because I feel like that might be a ranged attack, maybe?

I don't know if it's like a grapple attack.

It's a melee attack.

Okay.

Does it work for melee attacks or is it just for ranged attacks?

It just says when you are hit by an attack.

Well, I will say this is more like a check.

Like

it's not like it's going against your AC.

It's a check.

So while it is like in melee range and whatnot, it's not

an attack attack per se.

Yeah.

Wouldn't that involve getting attacked?

Not necessarily.

How many points of damage?

20.

Oh, and I forgot, since you saved Tolf, you actually, like I said, it was ineffective against you, but you take 10 points of damage.

I forgot to mention that.

Blaine, you got a question?

Yeah, I have this thing called Guardian.

Once you're wrapped up with that thing, but because someone attacked one of my buddies, and I'm assuming we're all within five feet of each other, I can take an opportunity attack against that creature.

Okay.

Let's

resolve this and then we'll switch over to that.

Oh, look at Tolvo.

I'm looking at you.

I don't see Guardian.

I want to read up what I'm saying.

So at the bottom of features and traits, it's Guardian.

Immediately after a creature within five feet of you takes the disengage action or hits a target other than you with an attack, you can make an opportunity attack against that creature.

So was it an attack, Gus?

You know, it's not an attack per se because they're not rolling like a to hit and it's not going against AC.

It's a check that they're that they're forcing.

Okay.

Okay.

Mine is on you guys.

It doesn't doesn't necessarily count.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

No, it's fine.

I'll let you off with this one.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you.

And by the way, I don't know if I said it.

Doug, you are grappled.

Okay.

And then the final two archers, they like look at each other, nod, and they like lean back and fire their arrows into the air.

And a volley of arrows begins falling all around all of you.

All four of you make dexterity saving throws.

It feels like that's a mean move to make against your buddies that are grappling one of the people right now.

Yeah.

Hey, they're up top.

They don't care.

It's just their job to rain arrows down.

Double angle so bad.

Eight.

I also rolled an eight.

I rolled a six, but I have advantage on deck saving throws, so I rolled a 17.

All right.

19.

All right, so Toll and Natty save.

Doug and Gunther, you do not.

Arrows begin falling all around, and the two of you who failed take 10 points of piercing damage.

Oh, deal.

Those of you who saved take half.

Because I'm nice.

I'm going to roll for those two nulls too, who are dogpiling Doug.

I don't think that's because you're nice.

I think that's because you're gonna follow the rules.

If they get hit and damaged, does that mean I like am ungrappled?

Lose the disk, and only one of them fails, the other one succeeds.

Taking half.

Yeah.

Hey, how does that null react to his brother hitting him with an arrow?

Yeah, he surely would be really mad, right?

He's not happy about it.

He'd join our team, right?

Yeah.

One arrow.

That's all it takes.

Wow, I can't believe they hit you with an arrow.

How disrespectful they shot both of you.

Are they speaking in Abyssal?

Yeah.

And that Keg Gunther go, Yes, your friends and brothers are shooting at you.

Join us.

We will definitely not put your skin on ours.

I think they will take that under consideration.

We have benefits.

The Knoll looks at you, Gunther, and growls.

Why would we do that?

You're the one hitting us with arrows.

And with that, it is the privateer's turn.

The privateer pulls out a cutlass, looks at you guys, and shakes it menacingly, then turns to his side and slices through some rope and some rigging that's near him.

And a cannon begins swinging across the deck, falling nearby.

On all four of you, make me a dexterity statement throw again.

I will be speaking to Osha about this violation.

20.

Man, I cannot roll well today.

17.

First one was 11, second one was 20, 30, 20.

Your first ones are always bad, then your second one's always good.

You know it's fun.

My dicer storytellers, they like drama.

Colvin, Gunther, and Naddy all successfully save.

Doug, I guess it's because you're dog piled or hyena piled at the moment, knoll piled.

You're just not able to move successfully out of the way.

And, you know, this cannon is kind of careening through and dropping all around you.

And Doug, you take some damage.

Is there something I could use my reaction for?

The Knoll that's dogpiling, if they're on top of Doug,

how could they possibly avoid this?

That's what I'm saying.

If Doug gets hit.

Well, Doug got to roll, so they get to roll too then, Mr.

Rules Lawyer.

Yeah.

Chris Diamaris.

Maybe they have like both of his arms out, and so like his belly's exposed or something.

Yeah, 15 and 18.

They both roll successfully.

doug you take what was that 15 points of bludgeoning damage is dug up yeah i'm up okay one more hit though questionable i was gonna say you've taken a lot we can take this all day

this doesn't hurt us a bit right dog

and everyone else

does not take damage but uh you all had to lay flat on the deck to get out of the way so you all are now prone that's fine we can stand up to do anyway we could open a portal underneath all of us and portal the heck out of you.

Yeah, actually.

Gunther, you're up.

So we're prone, huh?

Yes.

So just to stand up, all of our movement is gone.

That's how we usually do it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Also, am I prone and grappled?

Just a question, or just grappled?

It's going to be both.

I would imagine you are already prone anyway because they're dogpiling on you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

And Doug's the only one who's proned, right?

Sorry, grappled.

Sorry.

Grappled.

Yeah, get grappled.

Doug's grappled.

Where is our allies like Elva and

Las Gil?

I'll say they're around you, and they're also prone at the moment.

Dang it.

Are they also in initiative, by the way, with us?

Yeah, I'm about to roll it.

I just realized I forgot to do that.

How far away is the captain?

He's at the helm.

I'll say he's about 30 feet away.

And there's just guys everywhere.

Yes, just for reference, after Gunther is natty and then toll.

I'm going to attack the one that is holding Doug.

Okay, just so you know, there are two currently dog piled on Doug.

I guess I'll attack both of them or attack one of them.

Whichever one looks the most dead.

Okay, yeah, one of them definitely looks worse for the wear.

You can tell this one has a few more arrows in it than the other one.

All right, I'll attack that one.

Okay.

Does it 16 hits?

Yeah, that hits.

That's 10 points of damage.

You know, you pierce it with your rapier, and this gnoll, since it already had a couple of arrows in it and whatnot, it uh it kind of slumps over and moved on top of Doug.

Uh, Doug, you've got a hyena face drooling onto you now.

How fitting.

I think different body fluids come out when someone dies.

Rose.

Whoa.

You second time are you talking about poop?

I didn't make the sound, okay?

That was Blade's contribution.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I say to the gnull as I go to attack it, you will have a fate worse than your friend there if you do not let go.

And then I move to attack him with my second attack.

okay and does a cool spin and stabs into him oh oh and this is the other one that was dogpiling onto dug right on in the dug pile the dug pile there you go took a while i don't know why we didn't get there sooner it was a 23 oh that hits okay it's the flourish that did it the spin is surely what to act you the 23 all right that time i rolled a three to damage but this time i'm gonna re-roll it once per turn when you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage you can re-roll one of the attack's damage sties and i must must use that one.

So, I'm gonna re-roll that three,

and that became a seven, so that's 14 points of damage.

Yeah, you uh pierce this knoll, and it also stops moving and collapses on top of the other knoll, which is also on top of Doug.

Uh, Doug, there's there's now a second knoll face in your face.

Oh, I just uh feel like Snow White, but in a different way.

All the animals are drawn to Doug.

Oh, I was trying, I was like, what part of Snow White did I pike out?

I'm wishing.

When did the dwarves all pile on top of Snow White?

And I yell to the rest of the crew, give up now or face brutality and perish.

Ooh, take an inspiration die.

I like that.

I like that, Gunther.

Oh, man.

I already have one.

But can I give it to someone?

Give it to Doug.

Give it to Doug.

To use it immediately.

What we've been saying is if we're going to give it like that, they should use it right away.

That way it's not like we're just collecting them and transferring them.

Okay.

Then I'm going to use Second Wind.

You're unstoppable, Gunther.

Yeah, yeah.

By the way, Second Wind is a bonus podcast that we put out for members of our Patreon.

If you go to stinkydragonpod.com at every level, every other week, we dive into the episodes we just recorded, talk about some of the things that happened, some of the behind the scenes, as well as other things that are going on.

It's one of many benefits available for people who support us.

So check it out.

Again, that's at stinkydragonpod.com.

Look at you.

Gus is my favorite pop-up ad that I would never block.

All right, so you use second.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Chris.

You used second wind?

Yeah, so I healed 11 damage.

Then Gunther will jump back towards the door.

Now that the ones that were holding Doug are captured and say, retreat!

And then try and go back through the door.

They're not captured.

They're dead.

Yes.

Okay, the door is still there.

And Gunther, you jump back through it so you're back in the Robrew.

Yes.

Okay.

I'm back through.

And that that will be the end of my turn.

I'm by the door, waiting, like off just off to the side, so that if guys come through, I can stack on the Robrew side on the Robru side.

Okay, so next up, we have Naddy, then Toll, then Doug.

Hopefully, Doug survives the length of time in between.

How hard would it be to shove some of these guys through the door for Natty?

Well, we could try like strength checks.

You know, you could be able to make an effort at it.

It's all about how difficult it will be.

Okay, so the thing that made us prone was the cannon, correct?

Correct.

It also got Captain Grumbles.

Let's see.

Because he's on my turn.

He should be.

So either way, I'm going to have Captain Grumbles stand up as well.

It hit Captain Grumbles.

My God.

How many hit points does Captain Grumbles have?

That is a wonderful question.

I need to look at Animate Dead to see what it gives him.

Not Captain Grumbles.

He's the heart of our team, Gus.

Have mercy.

Captain Grumbles.

He has the same statistics as his former self.

So what did the captain that we fought in the ring have as far as HP?

Okay, well, he takes nine damage.

It's going to take me a minute to find that.

Tables of charge.

If you chose a corpse, the GM has the creature's game statistics.

I'm looking this up just so I can tell you, and I don't have to keep track of it anymore.

Yeah, yeah, I figure you want to give me this very important NPC that's going to be with us for like four more hours.

No, the rest of the game, the rest of the campaign.

I'm going to have to keep casting this over and over again.

I'll tell you what, that's going to be a good thing.

This is our opportunity.

If you want to get rid of Grumbles, you can get knocked into the ocean right now.

No,

I want to use Grumbles.

You stop it.

We're sweeping these prone bodies into this door.

So, what about his armor class?

Is it the same?

Like, or does does that change?

His stats are the same, is what it says.

Did he have a shield?

Oh, yeah, we gave him the

censorship shield.

Oh, right.

I forgot about that.

So, you write this down.

I'm not looking this up again.

All right.

Captain Grumble's AC is 17.

Oh, my God.

Just send him the PDF for his character sheet.

And no, because then he's going to have all this other stuff.

I don't want him to have all of that.

Why?

He's our teammate.

I promise to only look at Captain Grumble's stats.

His HP is 84.

I don't remember.

I think he took damage during the fight in the pit.

So let's say he was at 70 just to come up with a number.

And then he took nine points of damage right now.

So that would put him at 61.

Captain Grumbles is doing great.

I'm going to say, Captain Grumbles.

He might have the most HP of the group right now.

Your strongest member.

The cannon hits Captain Grumbles and stops.

And then he just goes,

but it's no

sound.

I've got a beep.

I've got to beep it.

There goes my hero.

So Micah just poses an interesting question.

Didn't he die if that's how he got reanimated and brought back his grumbles?

Yeah, he must have died.

What do you mean?

He did die at some point, right?

So he must have dropped to zero.

He doesn't have that many hit points then.

No, they dropped to zero, but you reanimate them at the statistics of what their character is.

So he's full health.

Yeah, guys.

So then he is.

84 minus 9, so 75.

Yeah, Mike is right.

That is a broken spell.

Oh, my God.

Everyone needs a Grumbles on their team.

It only works on medium or small humanoids.

Still, come on.

It has its limits.

So 90%.

It is a third-level spell slot that I only can cast because of my pact, and I don't have unlimited spell slots of that.

Oh, okay.

So yeah, I will say it did hit Grumbles, so Grumbles is on the ground.

John, just so you're aware, and so that no one gets too attached, Captain Grumbles is marched for death now.

But like, death, death.

Mike and Gus do not like this man.

Okay, Captain Grumbles.

Captain Grumbles, push.

Thank you, Gus.

Push Doug through the door.

Well, he's pro.

Captain Grumbles, get up.

Oh, he goes on your turn, right?

Yeah, push Doug through the door.

You might have to drag me.

Well, whatever.

Relocate the fear, the bug bear into the room uh

why are you talking to this thing like it's like a echo you know

captain rumbles lights off no

captain rumbles

captain grumbles what's the weather today yeah okay all right captain grumbles is gonna go ahead and try that how much do you weigh doug not light you know i didn't have a really big breakfast this morning so around 300 pounds Okay,

Captain Grumbles' strength is 10.

So roll me a d20 and let's see where it ends up, but it's probably going to have to be a pretty high roll.

Come here, John.

For what it's worth, if you choose to shove someone, they don't have to resist and you don't need to roll an opposed check.

But he still needs to move 300 pounds.

Not a joke.

I rolled a nat 20.

Get off!

Captain Grumbles!

Yes, Captain Grumbles is!

I'm at Yobi Hess!

Captain Grumbles is so jazzed.

Oh, Captain, my captain.

Doug just goes, uppies.

Captain Grumbles begins slowly sliding Doug across the ground, complete with two knolls on top of him.

So you're able to shove him.

Okay, now we'll say you're in.

You're in.

Yeah, yeah, you get Doug here.

Okay, Toll's next.

Guntho's already standing.

Kigi can move in on his own.

And Laskil and Elva are with us as well.

Yes.

And private parts.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, yeah.

We have private parts too.

Oh, my God.

You see why I hate all these NPCs?

I hate them too.

Hey, Gus, I'm there with you.

You didn't let me knock Grumbles into the ocean, so don't ever say you're with me.

He wouldn't have, he wouldn't have been knocked anyway.

He would have knocked the shit back.

Natty goes for...

Nanny's not very big, so Natty goes for private parts.

Okay.

And grabs whatever collar of private parts and pulls him into the door.

Natty grabs private parts.

Every time.

Those jokes just keep on giving.

Roll a strength check just to make sure.

14 plus.

What is my strength modifier?

One, 15.

That's good enough.

Just don't tug too hard on private parts.

And you're able to get him through the door.

I ask for permission, and then I pull on him.

Is that it for Natty?

I would assume, yes.

Giggy comes in with Umami and because Geeky doesn't have enough strength to pull anybody.

Yeah, all right.

Total of your up and then Doug and then the NPC.

Okay, I rise from the ground.

Is Elva near me?

Yes, Elva's right next to you.

Can I summon the strength to toss Elva in and also have enough movement to myself move in?

Make a strength check to toss Elva in.

Oh, you know what?

Actually, before I do that, I'm going to go ahead and rage.

Because that's going to give me advantage on strength checks.

All right.

And then I...

Ah, I am raging now.

And then I'm going to do a strength check.

Is a...

Oh, brother.

Don't get so mad.

12 will appear to protect you, sister.

I just got you back.

I'm not losing you again.

That was a 12 and a 13.

Yeah, you pick up Elva and toss her back through the portal, portal and you just hear.

Okay, how much movement do I have?

I know it's halved because I was prone and I just got back up.

So what is that, like 15?

No, I have a walking speed of 40.

Oh, so 20.

Okay, say no if

this doesn't work.

Could I go to one of the masts, hit it with my hammer, and have enough space to then go back in through the door?

I want to knock one of these knolls off of their crow's nests.

Let's give it a shot.

Say you're able to get over there and make an attack roll at it.

Okay, this is my war hammer hoacha

that's a 17 yeah that hit cool i'm gonna do some

damage that is a eight plus your rage and you're you're raging yeah so we could get like plus two on that that would be an additional two yeah you strike the base of the mast with your war hammer and the whole mast begins shaking uh yeah the archer who's on top gets down on the ground and holds on but as the mast is shaking it seems like it begins shaking more and more, and it slowly tips over and breaks off its base.

And the entire mast falls over and breaks the suspension bridge that's connecting this ship to the one next to it.

So this ship breaks free.

Tomber!

So then you go ahead and run back through the portal?

Yeah, unless I have...

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to run through.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

You run back through the portal door, which takes us to Doug, who's now been pushed through and is on the other side.

And I'm still grappled and prone.

You are not grappled, but you're prone with dead bodies on top of you.

Well, could I summon my steel defender?

Gambot.

Gambot.

Gambot, I choose you.

And then could I

also cast

pure wounds on myself?

Okay.

I'm going to do it at second level.

So that is...

13 points of heal.

Okay, that's a lot.

Still not a whole lot of health here.

And then, I guess, what's the situation on this side of the portal?

On this side of the portal, three gnolls have broken in the door and are now standing inside the Robru.

Okay.

Other than that, it's the Robru is how you left it.

It's just the door's been splintered in, and there's three gnolls who've broken in.

Okay, I'm gonna stay where I am, I think.

So, I think that would be my turn, but then I think Gambot would go directly after me.

Yeah, so Gambot is going to, I think, go after and try to attack on the, I guess, the knoll that is closest in after breaking down the door.

Sure.

Ooh, six plus seven.

14.

That's exactly what you need.

Six plus seven is 13.

Oh, 13.

My bad.

What is this?

Gum gum math?

Sorry, I don't know why my brain went 14.

Oh, that's a miss.

That's just short of what you need.

Do you need an inspiration die?

If you want.

Oh, yeah.

Do it.

I give Barbara my inspiration.

Yay!

Okay.

Easy belated wedding gift.

This time it's a 21.

You hit it 21.

Okay, so that is going to be then 18 plus 3.

So that would be, oh my god, 4 points of damage.

Gambot, you know, goes up to the knoll and hits it firmly in the shins.

Yeah, and the knoll bends over.

Rubbing its shin.

Yeah, this way, Gambot, you show him who's boss.

And that is my turn.

All right, that takes us over to Elva.

Elva got thrown through.

She's on the Robruce side.

She, you know, stands up and then points a finger at the knoll that Gambot hit and a dagger fires out at it.

So good.

She rolled a one.

Yeah, the dagger instead, like, it does, it doesn't actually shoot out.

It gets kind of like stuck in her finger.

She's like looking at it now.

She's like trying to perform maintenance on her finger as it is stuck.

I I was like, good thing she has nine other shots.

I don't think she has that many at once.

Now it's Laskiel's turn.

Okay, so Laskiel is still on the ship, despite Gunther's promise, they would not leave them behind and not let the enemy take them.

We haven't left yet.

They are going to...

I could really go either way here.

They're going to come through the portal and they begin rightfully through the pockets of the dead knolls that were on top of Doug.

So then it's private parts who was tossed here into the Robrew.

Gunther, you're the leader.

Private Parts is going to walk up to you, give you a pat on the back, and say, I believe in you, Gunther.

You got this.

I believe in all of us.

So they came through the door?

Yes.

Okay.

Don't let anyone else through the door.

Who are you telling that to?

That's just a gentleman.

Okay.

And it is those three gnolls turn who came in.

Oh man, that could do something really funny here.

Do it.

Okay.

John told me to do it.

The three gnolls rush Doug and start to try to dogpile him.

Dogpile.

Doug pile.

Placement lights, though.

Wouldn't they have to walk past me?

And me.

You said specifically you were just on the other side of the door.

The other side of the door, like

on the far side, so that it was still clear to enter.

And he was at the front.

Yeah, they're coming in from the robe route door, not the portal that you all came through.

I think there's confusion because we keep calling the portal a door.

The portal, a door.

They're on opposite ends.

Yeah, I just call them portal and door.

Yeah, the three gnolls come in and they begin trying to dog pile onto Doug.

Make me a strength check, Doug.

You just got that health back.

What the heck?

Oh.

Can we yawn?

Dog struggling.

Would would my like

steel defender be in the way?

Trip over him, maybe?

It's just it's just Gamba making R2D2 alarmed sounds.

This is pretty much it.

They grab you, they dug pile you to the ground, and you take 20 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are grappled on the ground again.

Well, I'm glad I healed myself, because otherwise I would have been dead.

Alright, which means we're back up to the top of the initiative order.

You hear, through the portal from the ship, you hear the privateer yell out, Roll the gnolls!

And all around you, the three gnolls that are you see here in the Robu stand up.

They're no longer dug piling.

Thank you.

And they get up and reposition themselves at three quarters around the room in order to try to distract you all into three different directions.

And then with that, Gunther, you make me a perception check.

That's 17.

You see that the gnolls on the other side of the portal who are still on the ship begin like getting into formation.

Like they are going to try to proceed through the portal as well.

They're coming for us!

It's more Gandalf than Gunther.

The archers.

So normally they would volley at you guys, but they can't really because you're in the Robru and they can't volley through the portal.

So I'll say they're going to try to fire through the portal at Gunther since they can see Gunther.

Oh my god.

One of them had 18.

The other ones were like 10.

My armor class is 18.

Okay, so it hits.

So one of them hits you with an arrow doing 10 points of piercing damage.

And the

privateer would...

He pulls out a pistol and aims it through the portal in Gunther's area.

I'll tell you what, Gunther and who else?

Did anyone else stay by the portal?

Or was it just Gunther who was really like blocking that portal?

I guess if I was dragged through there, I'd be pretty close to it, right?

Well, you also got up.

Yeah, you're on the ground, though.

I was wondering, like, if anyone's standing in that area.

I mean, I've been through the portal, so I don't know.

Where geographically that means I am.

We'll just say Gunther then.

Make me a dexterity saving throw.

That's a 15.

And can I use the help for that?

Yeah, absolutely.

So then we'll just add on another plus two to that to assist.

Okay.

The privateer pulls out a pistol from his belt and fires it in your direction, and a burst of flame shoots out and envelops you, Gunther.

But you see it coming, and at the last second, you're able to duck down and dodge the bulk of it.

So you end up taking only half damage.

You take five points of fire damage.

Thank you, Bret of Arts.

And Gunther, it's your turn.

It's Gunther, Natty, Toll, Doug.

Can I hold my turn until after Natty's gone?

Yeah, so you stand there and do you tell Natty something?

Yeah, well, do your magic portal thing if you're going to.

And at this point, everyone has come through.

Yeah, so hold until Natty's turn.

Okay, so Gunther shouts out a command, and Naddy, you're up, and then after Natty will be Gunther, then Tollv, then Doug.

Okay, does the group want to retreat, or do we want to try and take this ship?

I might have a different answer than everyone else.

Okay.

Because there's three ships, right?

Yes, and the one that you were on has broken separate from the other two when the mast fell.

But there were still a lot of people in it, right?

The galleon.

On the one you were on, there were a few.

Yeah, there's a decent number.

What about the other two ships?

Those I'm assuming are like smaller, like less crewed.

You could see gnolls on the other ones.

There were crews on them.

I don't know that you could tell necessarily if there were more or less people on those versus this one, but I will say there are dead knolls on this one that you all have taken out.

Can you tell me, Gus, how many people are still on the four men?

Well, three masts now.

Yeah, not counting the private tier.

There appear to be five gnolls still alive on there.

And we got an almost dead Doug, and it sounds like I imagine Gunther's kind of low at this point.

Yeah, Gunther's not terrible, but not great.

There's also three gnolls in the room with us right now.

Yeah, I feel like we, I don't mean to like flip-flop, but maybe we should take the ship.

I will say this, if it sways anyone's opinion, Gunther was able to dispatch two of those gnolls pretty quickly in one turn.

The gnolls have been low HP this entire time.

Apparently not low enough to get hit by my gambot.

That's AC.

Yeah, and I have two Eldritch Blasts and a Gigi and a Captain Grumbles.

I have an Elva with knife finger hands.

Okay.

We have lulled them into a sense of us retreating.

Now enact plan C,

which is take the ship.

Yeah, you got it.

it.

You got them all like lined up on the deck.

It's like the kind of thing now where you roll a barrel through and it knocks them all out of the way and like in a cartoon.

They go flying like bowling pins.

This is what we have the portal to, right?

The ship we're trying to take.

Yeah.

Okay.

What, you know, one step back, two steps forward kind of thing.

Yeah, I'll just, maybe I'll stay here for a second while you guys do that.

I feel like from under a pile of knolls, you see like a thumbs up from Doug.

Like Doug's furry hand comes out.

Just covered in blood, though.

And fur.

Okay, let's send the familiars first.

Let's see if we can get them to take out some of the

rabble.

Yes?

Yeah.

Could Captain Grumbles get to a knoll or the privateer?

On the other side of the portal?

Yes, absolutely.

I'd say that Captain Grumbles could easily get to the knolls as they have gathered up on the other side.

Captain Grumbles' speed is 30, FYI.

Okay, Captain Grumbles, go attack a knoll.

And Gus, since you're the one who gets to see the board with all the characters, you just, you do you.

How does Captain Grumbles attack?

Does he gnaw on them?

I don't know.

Isn't he a pirate?

He has a sword, right?

I assume that now that he's undead, that he has like something different.

Yeah, can he just do a sword attack?

He's got a sword.

He's a pirate.

He sword attacks the knoll.

Yeah, we'll say he's maybe not as dexterous as he was when alive.

He's just kind of

kind of like lashing it around, but it's still a sword being waved around.

But also, like, I think that our art for Captain Grumbles is inaccurate because it looks like he's like a long,

like he, he's like been, you know, rotted away at.

He's a pretty fresh body.

He's got a lot of HP.

He's a Hulking mess.

It's fine.

We can update his graphic if we need to.

But yeah, Grumbles goes attack.

Do it, Gus.

He's a Chad zombie.

He's got muscles.

He does.

I feel like the cannon hit him and stopped and something changed.

It made him really buff.

Okay.

We'll say that Captain Grumbles goes through, swings a sword menacingly at the first knoll that he sees.

Let's just roll a D20 and see what happens.

Captain Grumbles.

It was almost a 19, but it was a one.

I gave Captain Grumbles my inspiration dice.

Captain Grumbles kicks your inspiration die and keeps swinging that sword around and rolls a two.

You are, I'm, you got, okay.

You saw, I'm not lying.

I, you see the rolls.

Why are you letting him roll for you?

He wants you to fail, John.

No, I want you to succeed.

I couldn't stop him from rolling, so he did it.

You told me to make it happen.

That's fine.

It's fine.

Grumbles is fine.

I still like Grumbles.

Grumbles is still out there just.

Yeah.

Like a blending.

I'm occupying one of them now that will stop shooting Doug.

Yeah.

All right.

Giggy.

How about go help?

Go get another one.

Go get another one.

The Grumbles is occupying that one.

Go get another one, Giggy.

And I send Giggy to go after.

And I think what I'd like to do is I'd like to have Giggy...

Yeah, just have him attack.

He's still thinking about that parrot.

Hungy.

He's still hungry.

He burps and a feather comes out.

Giggy rolls an attack against whatever knoll that Gigi can get to and rolls a 23 on attack.

Well, believe it or not, that's a hit.

With that big axe oh my god no i'm not gonna we're i'm gonna simplify this giggy's just going for a rend oh there you go d4 which is three plus three is six slashing damage yeah that's pretty ouchy on that knoll it's like looking down in pain trying to kick giggy off it has poison condition now too oh god okay write that down poisoned but i'll simplify that for you guys don't even worry about it now natty shoots an eldritch blast at that one yeah oh okay natty rolled a dirty 20.

yeah you hit.

When Natty shoots an eldritch blast, does she, like, cock her hands?

Like, does she do anything like performative?

Or does she just go, whim,

yeah, she does a little quick draw action.

Like, hands, hands at the side, and just go, and she brings the arm up.

Love that.

Finger guns.

Yeah.

Rolls a deep 10.

That's a five plus four.

Bam, bam, bam.

Yeah, that knoll was looking down at Giggy, trying to kick Giggy off of its leg, then looks up at the last second and sees the Eldritch Blast flying at it, hits that knoll in the face, and it falls over 10.

And then there's another knoll I could shoot at, yes?

It is a target-rich environment.

Okay, Natty shoots for another knoll.

None of them are damaged.

There's only one left on the deck.

The other ones are archers up in crow's nest.

Can I shoot an archer?

Shoot an archer.

Yes, absolutely.

Okay, I shoot an archer with an eldritch blast.

I roll a 17 plus a seven.

That is 24.

That hits.

I roll

my d10.

Ooh, that's a 10.

14.

You hit that knoll with an eldritch blast, and it knocks it backwards out of the crow's nest, and it falls from the top of the mast down to the deck with a thud and it's unmoving.

You hear a Wilhelm scream.

Yes, exactly.

I don't know if we've ever used one of those in our podcast.

Can I do a little deception here, Gustavo Sorola?

You can absolutely try.

Privateer doesn't know how many eldritch blasts I have.

Natty rears both hands that are now smoking with eldritch energy at Privateer and says, you got two choices here.

These or give us the ship.

Ooh, make a deception roll.

That is 18.

Wow.

Plus, what is Natty's Deception?

Natty's Deception is plus seven.

That's a 25.

Oh,

yeah, that's a good roll.

Also, Grumbles is like over there

and Giggy is

as well.

There's just a lot of

animosity energy on here.

The privateer responds to you, Natty.

Oh,

you think you have the upper hand?

And he once again pulls out his cutlass and slashes at and cuts a piece of rigging next to him and grabs onto a rope as it's flying by.

The force of the rope pulls him and he flies off the deck and swings over to one of the other ships and is now standing on the deck of one of the other two ships.

Okay, what do the remaining Knolls do?

At this point, they look around.

They're slightly confused.

They're looking at each other.

I think he retreated.

He just didn't want to admit it, but I'm pretty sure he gave us the ship, Natty.

Yeah, that's how men often do stuff like that.

All right, everybody.

Captain Natty, reporting for duty.

Hi, Arnold.

Get on the ship.

Are we still in the initiative?

Yes, I'm going to say yes.

Before you do it, I want to make sure, Natty, are you done?

Was there anything else you were going to do on your turn?

I don't think I have any bonus actions, so I'm gonna say yeah, I'm done.

Okay, yeah, so then Gunther, it would have been your turn.

Yeah, okay, I want to stab the ones that strap Doug.

Okay, there you go.

This is Gunther's specialty.

Like, he sees this, and he's like, he's like, Manchurian candidate activates and like goes on a murder spree, freeing Doug.

You mean talented Mr.

Ripley?

Talented Mr.

Ripley.

Good call back.

And so, yeah, he pulls out and shoop down into the nose of the uh ow.

Yeah, not Doug's nice.

Yeah, not into Doug's nose.

That's 21.

That is,

That's a 12.

All right, Doug.

You're just getting more and more literal dead weight put on top of you because that knoll stops struggling and stops moving.

This is how this thing is kind of like a weighted blanket.

It's kind of nice.

There are three dead knolls on top of you and two live ones, Doug.

All right.

Now

Guther will attack one of the other two live ones.

Okay.

All right.

I rolled a one.

I'm using my inspiration.

Die.

All right.

I was going to say, I never want Barbara's characters to be in danger.

However, this is quite funny.

It's pretty funny.

How much it's just constantly a pile of

furry knolls on furry Doug.

It's just a pile of just stuff.

Micah says that Doug has discovered a new invention here.

Like, you've discovered the weighted blanket here, Doug.

Oh, my gosh.

That's true.

What did you get there, Guthrar?

What was your role?

19.

Oh, yeah, that hits.

All right.

That's another 12 points of damage.

That one also falls over dead.

This is like when Gimli keeps getting dead or kills.

dead kills like on top of

yeah and then so there's one more still on doug yeah action surge oh my god uh and accent surges and stabs the the remaining one on doug that was a nine

oh i wish i had an inspo i'd give it to you yeah oh no it's it's it's short but

i accent surged so i have another attack oh yeah you do so i'm gonna attack that one again oh look at you oh my hero gunko.

That's 13, but I precision attack.

I could add a superiority die to the roll.

So that's a plus eight.

Oh, or not plus eight when I roll a d8.

It doesn't matter because anything you roll, you need a one.

So you'll get to get it.

Yeah, you hit it.

And I will attack it.

Oh, for 15.

Doug, it's just dead knolls all the way down.

Dead weight.

Like a moth to a flame.

They all came to me and they all died.

Your plan worked worked perfectly.

How's the bait?

Is there anything I can do to help get rid of the dead ones off of Doug?

I'll say like on Doug's turn, you can give like an assist for Doug to stand up.

Okay, yeah, I will do that.

And that's it.

Thanks, Good.

I'm done.

Okay, that means that it is Toll and then Doug.

Okay, you who it's me, Tolv.

I'm going to...

Is it cool if I stow my warhammer and pull out a javelin?

Yes.

Okay, all right.

So I still have shield equipped, and then now I'm like full-blown Spartan warrior guy.

So I have my javelin and I'm going to run through the portal and then toss my javelin at one of the guys in the

crow's nests.

All right.

Yeah.

Go for it.

I love it.

Okay.

That is a, my God, that's a nat 20.

That guy's not having good.

You use the momentum of your run and the javelin flies through, striking a knoll, doing,

I'm going to adjust the damage that it says here because we always do max on one of them that's gonna be 10 points of damage what happens to that guy the javelin hits the knoll and it picks the knoll up off of its feet and

knocks it out of the crow's nest and it falls into the water as well however it does not bob back up to the surface can we imagine not to retcon it too heavily but before that guy even hits the water Toll has already pulled another javelin out to toss at the other crow's nest where the other guy does like a full whip it out 180.

Do it.

Okay, that's my second attack, so I'm gonna hit the other guy with another javelin.

Oh, come on, give me another cool roll.

What is that?

That's a 14.

Oh, that hits.

That's exactly what you need.

I'm impressing my sister.

Elva, are you watching this?

She's still looking at her finger and wondering why the dagger does too much.

She missed it.

Elva, sister, look at this, sister.

What?

Did you do something?

And then that is seven points of damage for that guy.

Yeah, that hits that knoll.

The knoll slumps to the ground and disappears below the lip of the crow's mist.

Okay, and then I guess with my remaining movement, Natty, you're on the ship, right?

Captain Natty?

I am.

Yes.

I go to Captain Natty, and then I take like a defensive position, like I raise my shield.

between Natty and the privateer.

Oh, well, I guess they're on the other ship, but I'm just protecting Natty.

Oh, Captain, my captain.

You got it.

Old habit to die hard.

Yeah.

Oh, wait.

There's one more guy on the thing, the ship, right?

He's on the deck.

Yeah, there is one more.

Okay, because I have storm aura, so I gain a 10-foot aura effect when you start your rage and as a bonus action on each of your turns.

When activated, one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage.

So could I run up within 10 feet of that guy?

I'd say you would be within 10 feet, yeah.

Great.

So rewinding, I run out.

Whoa!

Throw a javelin at one guy at the crow's nest.

He gets lifted, taken off into the water, spin around, pull another javelin, toss it at that guy, and then I look at the dude that's on the deck in front of me, and then I Goku lightning strike him.

Okay,

I was thinking like the rock.

You look at him and like raise your eyebrow, and like the lightning just comes like

shooting down.

Yeah, it's Pikachu, you dummies.

Oh, yeah.

You do this, but fart in it.

Roll whatever that damage is.

Okay, that would be 16.

So it's not a lot, but it's still...

I can't emphasize just how cool it is.

It's only a one, so, you know,

it's not much.

The null, you know, only takes one point of electric damage, but looking around, seeing that it's the last one standing, it turns and dives over the side of the ship to join up with its friend who's already in the water.

The ship is yours, Captain.

At this point, Gunther, you help Doug to his feet, presumably, and Laskil walks over to you, Toll.

They pat you on the shoulder, reach into their pocket, and pull out the map from earlier and ask, So, do you know how to sail?

Because it's time to sail to a missing island.

Is that where we leave off?

You can go leave us off on a cool water adventure.

How many episodes can we end on that musical note?

But you have heard of us.

Thanks, everyone, for listening to this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

You never know what you're going to get with this group.

It's always one thing or another.

But we really appreciate you guys listening.

Like I mentioned in the episode, if you'd like to support us, you can head over to stinkydragonpod.com.

Check out Second Wind, where we'll talk about this episode.

We'll do a deep dive in the talented Mr.

Ripley and talk about all of Matt Damon's.

Workers Matt Damon, right?

Was he at that movie?

Yes, he was.

I think he was in Jude Law.

We're not going to talk about the talented Mr.

Ripley.

We are not.

But listen to Second Wind, give us some support.

We'd appreciate it.

And thank you so much for listening.

Hey, everyone, want to remind you, it's our birthday month and we've got gifts for you.

Head over to store.stingingdragonpod.com to check out our anniversary merch.

We have a couple things out there.

We have a year one anniversary shirt, commemorative glass, and sticker.

Plus, on top of that, we've got exclusive merch available for every tier of our Patreon, all four tiers.

This is your last chance.

Seriously, this merch is gone after June 30th.

So head over to store.stinkingdragonpod.com pick up some year one anniversary merch while you can again that's store.stingydragonpod.com new episodes of tales of the sting dragon premiere every other wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the stingy dragon youtube channel want to listen to show 48 hours early and ad free become a patron at stingingdragonpod.com or become a member of beacon at beacon.tv both membership support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series second wind and member only discord for their respective platforms become a patron you get access to even more exclusive bonus content sting dragon community and discord events and you get your name shouted out, just like Cameron, aka Cam Shob12, Tuck Zambier, Blade Beast15, Rimforge, and Magnus Clemenson, also known as Wolf2615.

These patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our exclusive patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Win and Behind the Screen, and much more.

Hey, in fact, here's a quick peek from our Second Win for episode 19.

Kind of a peek behind the curtain.

We had, it was like me, Micah, and Gus were all communicating behind the scenes on information that tol would know and it was a combination of like micah and i would pair off i would share backstory

with blanks for micah to fill in fill in the blanks and then he would communicate some of those pieces to me so i didn't have all of tol's story because i didn't want to just

do Micah's job for him.

And I didn't want to like,

you know, corner Micah into, you know,

a position where he couldn't make backstory for Tolv.

So it was like, I only gave him as much information as I felt like he would need to just get, you know, going and stuff like that.

So it was interesting.

We had this like conversation where it was like, you guys were telling me lore about my own character, but in a way where I was like, yeah, okay, that fits within his story.

Yeah.

Even the way that the reveal played out in this episode was

like, it wasn't fully scripted.

And I don't know how much that comes across in listening to the episode is as a DM, I didn't know when Blaine was going to start talking about stuff.

Like I was trying to introduce hooks and opportunities for Blaine to engage and do stuff if he wanted to as told, but it's like, I didn't, like I wasn't, I didn't know when he was going to do it or what he was going to say or how it was going to play out.

It's like, I'm going to just kind of like set it every now and then.

And if he wants to engage, he can.

And if not, that's also fine.

I feel like that's one of the challenges of role role-playing and also doing like a comedy show where you're like, is now the moment I want this to be?

And like, how do I go about introducing this thing that's a little more serious into the mix of like people just cracking jokes?

I said earlier that I had seen a theory on the subreddit or the Discord, and I remember what it was.

Someone was like, you know, it's starting to feel like kind of like.

campaign one where they're kind of splitting off and doing individual arcs and stories about the characters.

I'm not going to confirm or deny that because I don't even know myself, but it did kind of feel like that.

And

that like that was a moment that Micah laid out for me.

And he communicated to me too.

He was like, this is an opportunity for you to do this if you want to.

Like it was kind of like, he was like, when would you want to do this?

How would you want to do this?

And we kind of worked around it in a way where it was really fun because I went in blind.

I didn't know that we were going to Bjorn's house.

But it was also like, okay, this is a moment that I get to choose as the character to reveal all this stuff.

And it was such a weird dance, but I think that the trio of us, me, Gus, and Micah, nailed it.

I was really excited and happy about how it turned out.

Again, that's stinkingdrangerpod.com.

We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.

Listeners who interacted with us on the Sting and Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode, like Lousy Laskiel, named after Alex B007, voiced by Chad James at Chad JamesRT from Death Battle, Carmeteer, named after PipFam3, voiced by Bernie Burns, at Bernie from Rooster Teeth, and the Morning Summer podcast.

Also, want to give thanks to some people who write a voices this episode.

Elva, voiced by Charlotte Avery, at Moms underscore Home from Astro Goblin, and of course, Private Private Parts, voiced by Bennertz at Halcyon underscore Ben.

This week's hour question was submitted by Maddie DX, M-A-D-Y-D-X.

This episode of Tales from the Sticky Dragon is produced by Bennerts, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Sonia.

Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales from the Sticky Dragon.

Guys, we are back for another special episode of Doug's on the one and twos equals threes.

How's it going today out in the world here

in the land of wherever you are listening to this?

Don't want to, you know, put anyone into a box.

You know, it's going pretty well.

We're fighting some nose.

Doug's not doing too hot.

Doug's struggling a little bit here, but, you know, keep on, keeping on.

Am I right, everyone?

Maybe sometime Doug should go pee during one of these breaks, but, you know,

just like Doug Steel Defender, he's got a bladder of steel as well.

Right now, we're watching the empty cameras of my fellow podcast reporters.

We got Dutch Dale

having some good licks.

Licking some paws, taking a pause,

licking some paws.

Okay, actually, Doug does have to go to the bathroom.

Dreaming of buying your first car or a new home?

Knowing your FICO score is the first step in making it real.

With My FICO, you can check your score for free and it won't hurt your credit.

You'll get your FICO score, full credit reports, and real-time alerts all in one simple app.

Your credit score is more than just numbers, it's the key to building the future you've been working toward.

Visit myfico.com/slash free or download the MyFICO app and take the mystery out of your FICO score.