C03 - Ep. 12 - Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal

In the time it takes us to say we're using Folger's instant coffee, seamlessly blended with water and ice, a splash of whatever kind of milk is your thing, and gotta get that caramel drizzle.

All to make a toasty, roasty, caramel iced coffee. You could be enjoying it.

Every damn

sip of it. Damn right.
It's Folger's Instant.

Blue sky.

Some people think nature is like this. But actually, it's like this.

Mother Nature is not all sunshine and rainbows. Nature can be hotter than a sauna and colder than an Arctic skinny dip.

That's why Columbia engineers everything we make for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia, engineered for whatever.

Here's a quick podcast for all you true crime fans: the case of the missing Reese's.

It was me at the store with my mouth. Motive? Um, they're Reese's.
What was I going to do? Stop myself? Tune in next time to see if I do it again. Spoiler, I will.

Wow, that had everything.

Reese's, suspense,

Reeses.

Afternoon, all you oblique spawns. Squelch your slime into the stinky dragon and absorb our latest aquatic intake.
Mile in their sha'ozz.

It's a mixture of blech tea leaves and H-goo-o, sugary seepage, icy ichor, and a pseudopod of sliced lemon.

One engulfing of this potable personality, and you'll feel like yourself if you were someone else.

Previously, our adventurers bestowed a brief olive branch to the residents of Raisine before bolting below after the Baron.

B-team broke up into buddies and bear-crawled into a musty mine with a concealing curtain.

After uncovering a mysterious mariner mural, the deep-pocketed privates penetrated the portal wall while the poorer party members stayed put.

They bartered with a breezy demigod and offered silver for safe passage and gusty guidance. But will their path be a breeze or will they need to catch their second wind?

Nab some nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative.

Couldn't help it. I liked that.

Just loved Barbara Dunkelman, just her little...

Hey, Gus.

Before we get into the arrow, can I throw you an arrow? Oh, whoa. What is happening? Have you ever considered naming yourself Vustago Rizzola? Just like mixing the letters up? No.
Nope, never.

Never have. Gayne Bibson.
Gayden Bibson. For a minute there, Blaine, I thought you had something like very...

like deep and interesting

important at Gus, but you're just like jumbling up the letters of his name and asking him. I've been thinking about Vustago Garola or Rizzola since 3 a.m.
I woke up last night and I was like, Vustago.

Why? Anyways. I once told Carrie Shawcross that his alternate name was Sherry Cockross.
Cherry Cockross. Oh, I remember that.

Follow-up question: Who in this group would have the coolest name if you reverse the first and last letters of the first and last name? Ron Jisinger. Ron Jisinger is pretty cool.
Ron's pretty good.

Darbora Bunkelman. Bunkelman.

I hate that.

Discrimaris. Discriminate.
Discriminate.

That's a Star Wars name. It's very, it's very Star Wars.
Is that just how you make your Star Wars name? It's like you just have to swap the two letters.

Ghelain Bibson is also very much a Star Wars name.

Did we just crack George Lucas's entire

format? Ah, crap. Maybe.
They broke the file.

Suscarola. Wait, was that George Lucas? Yeah.
How did you get into our Discord? Get him out of here.

I love that. Like,

I don't know why, but our impressions person is Chris Damaris. That is like, not good at him.
No, I'm not saying good at him. I just said impressions person.

That wasn't a comment on the quality of them. Shout out to Honey Heist.
Maybe on a second win for this week, we could see who has the best impression.

We could do a little show and tell. That would be fun.
I like that, Barbara.

I feel like if we're going to do that, you should record the impression ahead of time while no one's watching you. Wow, no, live, live.

And then play it back during the episode.

Maybe it's anonymous. We can't tell who's impersonating the company.
Yeah, we'll never know. I would bet my life savings I could tell each of you doing what impression I'm doing.
100%.

If anybody wants a treat, you need to go and listen to the Christmas episode of Stinky Pop with Chris in it because we got a little sampling of his Magruber

from Die Hard. I had forgotten about Hans Gruber.
Wait,

Hans Gruber from Die Hard. Yeah.
Sorry, McGruber is what's his face, his character.

I watched Chris start trying to take his stinky dragon hoodie off while wearing his headphones.

And I know that's a mistake because I cannot take that hoodie off while I'm wearing my glasses, which are much more flushed on my face.

So let's all pause for a moment so Chris can take off his headphones and then take off his stinky dragon hoodie.

I'll just mention too that Stinky Pop, like John mentioned, and Second Wind are both. I see Nipple.

Chris, we see your nipple. This is not a video podcast.

I think what you were going to say was very important, Bob. I was trying to plug my amazing movie podcast.
Thanks for the show. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, as John mentioned before, Stinky Pop and also Second Wind, which I mentioned, are available to our wonderful Patreon members, which you could be a part of at stinkydragonpod.com.

Also on Beacon, if you want to join that platform as well, you get Second Wind in addition. In addition to at-free episodes, at-free versions of our campaign episodes.
Absolutely.

Which are available on both beacon and sneakydragonpod.com. Seven minutes into recording.
We haven't even done the arrow question. I haven't hit our four players with an arrow.

My name is Gustavo Cerolo. I'm the Dungeon Master.
No, Vustago.

Sustavo Garola. Gungeon Damster.
No, Mungeon Dancer. Man, because it's funny because scared in Spanish is a sustado.
That sounds like sustavo. Anyway, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

Do you prefer comfy, practical, or stylish clothing? And what is your favorite piece of clothing you own? And that was sent in by Z Tommy. We rolled a two, finally.
12. A D20 coming in right now.

Elga, this isn't your campaign, girl.

I couldn't help it. Three for Doug.
19. All right.
Chris, you want to lead off, or I should say, Gunther, you want to lead us off? Yeah. So I'm Chris Temeris, and I'm playing Gunther,

the nail fighter.

And Croakfolk. Croak folk.
You just said,

I was like, what changed?

My favorite is

I like not clothing at all. That's when

I was just a tadpole. It was so much fun.
I always swim around and be naked. And I like that.

Is that comfy, practical, or stylish? Or all three?

It was all three at the time. Wow.
You're stylish? Yes. When you were a tadpole, did you you ever have uh tad talks you know all the time

every time my father would come to me he said it's time for a tad talk

he wasn't very big he wasn't a full pole he was just a tadpole hey

i'm torn i hate these i don't even think natty would like these so i don't know how to play this in character as now i i prefer clothing that is more practical that is has

function and fighting ability and my favorite gunther do you own any stylish clothing Well, I don't know what that.

No,

unless you think so.

No.

So you don't think so? It's just all I don't know. I have no opinion.
Hey, you know that three-piece suit and Saturday Night Fever? Yes.

Guther has one of those. I need fan art of that immediately.
But my favorite article of clothing is this. Here it's a handkerchief.

And my wife made it for me. God, I forgot he was married.
What? You got a wife? You got a wife? Yeah, remember he abandoned them?

Oh, why?

I guess I blocked that out of my memory because it was so sad. I try to not think often of it.
Now, to be clear,

Gunther, wait, do you have kids? I can't remember. A lot of kids, right? He doesn't want to think about them now.
Right, right, right. Well, this is what we're doing.

We're all being vulnerable. That's what this arrow time is for.
No, I told you I prefer practical clothing that is protective. Right.
Uh,

they're they're still like your wife, she's still alive, right? I pray that she is. Okay, last time you saw her, yes, kicking and screaming, right? She was not kicking or screaming.

I ran into that.

I just offered that up to you, and I knew it. Um, okay, what's her name? Punya, Bunya, Punya, Punya,

Punya, Punya, Punya, Punya. The Miyazaki film? That's ponyo.
Very close.

Which had aquatic creatures,

amphibious creatures. All right.
Well, thanks for sharing, Gunther. One more question for our croak folk.
This is just simple ones as we're getting some sharing from you. Yes.

I'm not going to ask for all of them, but maybe I'm going to ask for one every once in a while. What's the name of one of your kids?

He has so many he can't remember. Tonka.
Tonka. Tonka.
Tonka. Tonka.

Do they lack trucks?

I was thinking the same thing.

No.

Okay. I just get okay.
Tonka. Okay.

Maybe he's got another kid named Truck. I mean, he's got so many of them that

Truck. I love Trucks.

This is Big Fort.

You have one named Lightning? Kachiao.

Okay.

Hey, Gunther, thank you for sharing. I really like learning stuff about you.
Thank you. I like learning too, especially about you.
All right, who's next? Who had the next highest role?

We had Gunther with an IT. Oh, hey, Toll, there you are.

He was standing right behind me. I didn't even see him.

I scared you. You know, if I could be greeted the way that Toll just greeted our arrow questionnaire every time someone meets me, I'd be delighted.

He was so excited to talk to you. Very excited.
I was a little startled.

I love talking fashion. So when it comes to style and function

and what was the other thing?

Comfy. Yeah, that was it.
Yeah. So I like a combination of all three, not to just, you know, be super broad about it.

And I think that the perfect piece of clothing that has all three of those is my beard.

Yeah. But that's not clothing toll.

Oh, but I mean, wait, I mean, is it detachable? No, no, this is my beard, it's attached to me, uh, but you know, it's it's comfy in the cold weather

and it's you know, practical, it's functional, you know,

stylish, you know, I could put flowers inside of it if I so want, you know,

very similar to clothing, you wear it very well.

Well, thank you, yeah, but I mean, like, I could I could like take it off if I wanted to, and then I'm just a completely different person, but much colder.

Then he walks up to Tolv to like touch his like, his like clothing and vest to see if the beard just is extensioned into all that. Like everything, like it's all actually just one piece.

Braided into it. So that's my answer.
Did you introduce yourself? Oh my goodness. I am told you who

I am a male orc barbarian and I'm played by Blaine Gibson.

I hate that introduction. It's awful.

Do you want to do a retake?

Don't

do it.

One take Blaine. Yeah.
I think, Toll, since you're, I'm going to break the fourth wall a little bit with you here, Tolv.

Your beard is your favorite article of clothing. I think we're going to need to sell that on the stinky dragon store at store.stinkydragonpod.com.
Available now. Go check the store.

No, it's not available now. It's not available now.

Available tomorrow. John Reisinger's promise.

Limit figure. Drop only 500.
John, don't worry. I'll make it in the store.
It'll be designed by me. I'll put it in the store.
It's immediately sold out. That's what I'm going to do.

Okay, here's the thing. We can do that because

I know that you can do that on our hosting platform. We should absolutely put the beard up and just

like a fake product. Yeah.
Oh, you mean as like a sold-out item? Yeah. Okay.
Go check. Hey, hey, follow through.
See if we do this by the time. See John remember to do this.

Yeah, go to store.stinkydragonpod.com. That's the stinky dragon challenge.

Sony Vey, that's me. Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you, you, Tolf.

Who was after? I think Naddy? Was Naddy next? I guess it's me.

Apparently, three is higher than a two, in case you guys didn't know. So, you know.

Well, hello, everyone. My name is Doug Boone.
I'm a bugbear artificer, level three, to be exact, which is also higher than two.

And I'm played by Barbara Dunkelman. And,

you know, I tend to skew a little bit more towards comfortable clothing. You know,

Doug's a big guy. And so, you know, I like to wear things that I could move around easily.
And I got a lot of fur as well. And so it's nice to have,

Chris loves the way I say four, apparently. I love it.
It's the season to broccoli.

And, you know, so I like to have things I can move around in pretty easily. But my favorite piece of clothing is actually my vest that I wear.

And that's because,

you know, if you guys ever take a close look, it's half teal and half maroon.

and uh the maroon actually comes from my my brother uh phil so it was actually a piece of his clothing that i i combined with a piece of my clothing to make this vest and so it's very special

yeah his favorite color was maroon and so you know i just wanted a piece of them with me at all times very sentimental yeah very sweet doug liking comfort clothes is spoken like a true big boy

also a very part of the course of me barbara yeah yeah ever since the pandemic, I have not gotten out of sweatpants and sweatshirts. Like, that's all I wear.

We call those hard clothes in this house, and we don't wear hard clothes very much. We wear soft clothes only.
We wear soft clouds. Yes, yes, absolutely.
And so does Doug.

As a big boy myself, I wear soft clothes.

It is fun going to weddings and seeing Barbara in sweatsuits, you know.

That's actually what I'm going to wear to my wedding.

It's a beautiful, beautiful handmade sweatsuit. Just a diamond-encrusted white sweatsuit.
I've never seen a hoodie with a veil before.

My veil is just a hoodie on my head hanging off of it. I feel like that's not a bad idea.
I know, I know. I'm considering.
Thank you, Doug. Or your Star Wars name is Bug Dune.
Oh, that's so cool.

Bug Dune.

It's too funny. All right, Natty, you're up.
I'm up. Hi, y'all.
I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a Drow Warlock. And I'm as happy as a clam to be talking about fashion.

I don't think it's a surprise to anybody that I love styles. I love clothes.
I love looking good all the time.

And so, you know, I obviously I'm very much like Tove a little bit where I like a Neapolitan of all three of those choices.

But y'all, I think if I had to make a hierarchy, it would be styles got to be at the top. I, you know, you got to look good.
You got to look good.

Cause I look good for me, which then inevitably makes me me look good for y'all so it's a gift for everybody

as well naddy yeah

you're just thinking of everyone else yeah there's something about when we're like like on a military mission yeah and then like you know we have a person in bright pink you know it's like super strategic yeah

it is it is distracting as flu don't don't forget to mention all the reflective uh rhinestones on my clothes as well those are very good

y'all i could not there's one option of camouflage where you try to blend into into the background. There's another option where you just try to blind anyone potentially looking for you.
And I think

you might prefer that one. Yeah.
And so if I had, it's, oh, it's so hard to pick my favorite article of clothing.

There's so many, but I, you know, my mind immediately goes to. One of my favorite things I've ever been given.
They're actually a passed down piece of article of clothing from my mama's,

is my boots. My boots.
I love my boots. They're white.
I take very good care of them.

They're actually quite practical and comfortable as well.

They're not just

for showing, although they show quite well.

But yeah,

I don't go anywhere without my boots.

Boot scooting. Are they made for walking? Yeah.
Walking, kicking, running, trotting. Super good for planter fisiitis, y'all.

Do you have like insoles in there or something? Because we do it a lot of walking and exploring. And so I'm wondering how you don't get sore feet.
Dr. Scholes.

I think it's just kind of, I'm so comfortable with myself. My feet are comfortable with whatever's going on.

I think it's just kind of, it just, it just drips down all the way down through my body, my comfort. And those heels, are those like, what are those three inches? How many, how high are those?

You know, that's a good question. I haven't, I haven't measured them.
I'll have to have Doug do that. He's so, he's so practical.
Absolutely. Only with your permission, though.
You know,

if you're going to measure something or touch someone or the belongings, you got to ask permission. I appreciate that.
I appreciate that. Yeah.
So that's my answer. Thanks.

Good, uh, good round, everyone. My head cannon is natty has like size five feet.
Like, they're just tiny little, like, Barbie feet.

Yeah, that's, uh, that's like my girl's, uh, my girlfriend's size of feet. She's got tiny feet.
Yeah.

Before we dive into this, from a metagame perspective, uh, Blaine, if you don't have one, give yourself an inspiration die. Oh, just so the audience knows, we tried to record this video.

I was doing this earlier today, and D and D Beyond was down. So we had to reschedule, and we were all keeping an eye on it.
And Blaine was the first one to notice when it came back up.

So Ustago, remember this moment. This dice will be used

so very well. You don't even know.

It was not. Just wait.
This is foreshadowing for the best use of an inspiration die. It'll be like Tolv wants to do a jump out of excitement and then he fails.

As Gunther walks in, you all see this, but he doesn't because his eyes are closed. Oh no.
That's okay.

Gunther walks firmly into the backside of an orc who's standing very upright with good posture, who's wearing clerical vestments that seem to be made of some kind of maybe rat skin. Oh.

The size, I'm sorry, the size of this means that Gunther went into his butt. I'm just

backside, but yeah, that's

face into Dariere. It is just like he's taking deep breaths towards the wind.
He's just going,

The source of the wind.

He turns around when Gunther bumps into him and you see him wearing a glowing silver ring and he looks very intensely at the four of you and says, Have you come to help purify this world?

Yes, are you not?

Oh, excellent. I'm here to spread the word of purification and recruit people to help make the world pure and clean once again.
Is your name Breta?

Just curious. Oh, no.
No, no.

You can call me Pritcher Reggie. He reaches out a big hand.
Well, I guess it's about the same size as yours. You're both orcs.
And grasps your hand told and begins shaking it very enthusiastically.

Ooh.

Hi. How do you purify? What is your method? We must purify through pure thoughts and pure actions and lots of scrubbing.
Oh. Are we talking? Oh, Natty pokes her head.
Are we like scrubbing?

Are we talking about like with suds and water and a loofah? Or is there like a is it symbolic scrubbing? Like smelting silver, you know?

Purifying and refining out the impurities. Oh.
And just taking the pure part. There's a lot of silver theme in this place, huh? Yeah.
Silver's pretty great.

Preacher Urugi, are you like a demigod or are you just like a dude? Oh, I wish. I can only aspire to such heights.
I am but a mortal servant in this world of higher powers. Oh, cool.

Which higher power do you like to serve? Curior Box.

I'm kidding. I don't know.

I made that up. I'm retailing.

I was about to ask for a rolling on insight on that BS.

I serve the wind trader. Yo, we just, y'all, we just met him.
Good news. You can meet your hero who led us here.
Oh, yes.

He has been a boon to us and our work here a booing

we know one of those wait

are you my family

that's what happens when you shave a bug bear look like works he's been very helpful what are you smelting i'm i'm i'm uh

skilled with blacksmithing oh we are smelting silver I'm sure you have seen it all on the walls of this mine.

So you're taking the silver from the mine, and then are you making like currency or like something else out of it? Well, we make whatever we need, you see.

All of the silver in this mine belongs to the wind trader, and we are his vessel to help gather it and do what needs to be done through purification.

What does he give you in exchange for the silver that you give him? Favorable winds, of course. Oh, favorable winds, okay.
Ah, that is what we have, too. Oh, you have been blessed by the wind trader?

We have. Yes.
Fortunately, we were not cursed by broken wind, if you know what I mean.

Yeah,

our friend Tolfio definitely has cursed winds a lot of the time.

But yeah, that's actually what led us here,

is these winds. Perhaps the wind trader deemed it necessary for our paths to cross.
Have you crossed paths with any others on this Dave?

Those maybe who were carrying

another?

Well,

we are hard at work here with our silver mining and purification. I'll tell you what, everyone make me a just a perception check.
Tell me what those numbers are. Okie-dokey.
Isn't it Nat? 20. Big 30.

22. Critical fail.
I also had a critical fail, but I have a plus five, so it's a six. I must still have my eyes closed.
Because I won't be three.

Yeah, so three of you not great roles. You all see this.
Natty, your role is definitely better.

But, you know, this room is dimly lit by flickering lamps, and it's got that same dusty air and shiny cave walls and besides preacher reggi you see there's several grip that seem to be walking around the room mining on the walls and the ceiling and in this room there's three exits uh one to the north one to the east and one to the west you all came in the one from the west and the grips aren't alarmed by our presence they're not like turning to fight us or anything they seem to be ignoring you they're very focused on their mining efforts are they part of...

Are they Undarian or are they just kind of a bystander that have been drawn into the fight? Would I know that? Would Tolv know that?

Yeah, they are Undarian.

They're mining on the wall and the ceiling, you said, right? Yeah.

Stay that hand, Natty.

Why are you looking at me, Tolv? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you know, there's a lot of bad guys around. I know here you are.

It does make me look around the room and see, like, what else there might be.

Like, is there anything else, like they're putting the silver into or any other like supplies or anything like that in here?

Seems like they're just kind of, for lack of a better term, like extracting it from the walls and the ceiling. Would it be like a pickaxe or like mining that way?

Uh, yeah, and there's like a bin on the eastern side of the room near the door to the east that they seem to be like collecting all the ore into.

So we are looking for someone who is dirtying the world. They are not purifying.
They ran off after baking a big, dirty mess. Oh, no.
Have you seen them?

Private party was wearing a uniform. He was a nice looking fellow

with skin.

Probably very sweaty as well. Sweaty, sweaty with skin.
Wet.

He had been wet.

Yes, and hair. And then

the Baron was a big hairy with big horns

and uh dirty not pure at all. No, I don't believe so.
We've been hard at work mining and purifying here, so I can't say I'm familiar with what you are talking about. Could I do an insight check?

Sure, vibe check. Vibe check.
Yeah, can you do the same? Sure. Uh 22.
Oh, what are you trying to get insight into specifically?

If like you could tell that they're maybe being untruthful or like trying to hide they are working side by side with grillps, which are Umdarians. Yeah.
That's a 20 for me, too.

so yeah 20 and 22 it looks like for me and uh gunther yeah it doesn't seem like he's being deceitful about with that statement okay hey uh reggie you keep talking about this purification i feel like you're dodging the specifics and and literal sense of what it is and i get uh you know when you're talking about your religious stuff you can be very uh ethereal and esoteric but like with the purification Are you just purifying silver?

Or is your intention to purify individuals who are doing things like you discussed, having impure thoughts or impure actions? Well, it's all important in the end, is it not?

We can purify one and then purify the other. Yeah, you dodging that question again, you little, you slippery little eel.

What you doing? Who are you purifying? Who you purifying? What they do. Slippery little eel.

Purification is a benefit for everyone, right? Yeah, you still not answer my question. I get it.
I get it. You don't want to say it, because it's uncomfortable, okay?

It sounds like you might need purification. Do you need to be purified? Sir, that is not something you say to a lady, okay? That is not something you say.

You need to watch yourself for I'm purify your mouth, okay? With soap. Can I pull Reggie to the side? Sure.
Listen, Reggie, okay? You're not

one to go toe-to-toe here with Naddy, okay? She's gonna get it out of you one way or another, okay? So let's just cooperate. We're all cool.
We don't mean any harm. We're just curious.

We're just pure for individuals. Super pure.
The purest. Fresh off the presses.
Make a persuasion check for me. And while you're doing that, Blaine, I'm going to remind you.

I read this in the previous episode, but I should read it as a reminder in this episode as well.

I described Reggie as an orc with good posture, and he's wearing clerical vestiments that seem to be made of rat skin.

And he's wearing a glowing silver ring and was delivering a sermon when you all walked in. Yeah, I have that written.
Okay. What was that persuasion check? 12.
16. Perhaps

you are right.

I should acquiesce and learn when I need to be purified as well as deliver the purification. Honesty is the purest policy.
That's what I say.

Yeah, and you know, sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror and really recognize, you know, the person that you are deep down. So, let's just stop mincing words.
Who are we purifying?

Because I want to know if I'm on board with you, because I want to be on board with you. I like making friends.
I just made a friend with your guy.

He's over there behind that fake wall, and we just had a good old chat. He likes us.
Yes. Ah, true, true.

Oh.

Well, you see.

And he kind of looks down at his shoes and then looks back up at you, Natty. I don't actually know what I'm talking about.
Ah, there it is. Doesn't that feel so good, Say?

Just sounds kind of good. Yeah.
Everyone seems to be going along with it, so

mood.

It's kind of working for me down here. Please don't ruin it.
We're not going to blow up your spot, Reggie. I totally respect the game.
Okay, I found an NPC I like.

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The Who's Down and Who Newville were making their list. But some didn't know.
Walmart has the best brands for their gifts. What about toys? Do they have brands kids have been wanting all year?

Yep, Barbie, Tony's, and Lego. Gifts that will make them all cheer.
Do you mean they have all the brands I adore? They have Nintendo, Nespresso, Apple, and more. What a bad.

So the who answered questions from friends till they were blue. Each one listened and shouted, from Walmart? Who knew? Shop kissed from top brands for everyone on your list in the Walmart app.

I have a question. Can Gunther...

I guess he still has his eyes closed to some extent. Does he feel the wind still pushing him? Or like see anything being blown in a certain direction?

Tolva's just blowing on the back of Gunther's neck.

Doug and Gunther, both of you make perception checks, I guess, to try to figure it out.

Does anybody else ever take, this might just me be telling on myself, does anybody else ever take videos of something when it's quiet and then you listen back to the video and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and you're like, is that how I sound?

I hate that. I hate that so much.

Yeah, that happened a lot back at the old company we worked for where people would film like a day-in-the-life videos, and the person filming you would just hear like,

gotta stay away from the camera there, bud.

I filmed a video of my dog in the snow the other day, and then I waited until I played her back. He was like,

I'm not even doing anything. I'm just standing there.

I think that's just, I think we're old. I think that's what it is.
I think it could be. I rolled another one, by the way, for a six.

Well, I rolled a 20. Ooh!

Doug, you feel like the wind is pushing you to the eastern exit. And Gunther, you feel like it's pushing you to the northern exit.
Ooh. Where is the wind blowing me? Oh, oh, because someone failed.

You know, I think it's just because, you know, I got a lot of hail and full

specifically.

And I think the wind, I don't, I can't really tell where it's coming from because all my phones just getting blown all over the place. Gunther, do you have an idea where it's going?

The wind is blowing to the north. That way.
And I point, uh, do you need help purifying anything in there? Well, Reggie, do you know what are these exits going to?

And Natty points to the two that are remaining. Like, where do those go? We are looking for the purest path.
And then I give him a wink. We can drop that.
This guy is not about that.

He's just that wasn't.

We have to keep up the act because his demic in the other room, and then these crumps or whatever they're called or crumps.

Grill. Potato, potato.
Crumps.

Natty turns to Doug and goes, I think you and I are the only ones who got our eyes open, our ears open.

No,

I can't really tell where I'm going right now, Naddy. I'll be honest.
Well, to answer, I think it was you, Natty, to answer your question, Reggie tells you, Well, to the north is more mining. Okay.

And to the east is a giant mural wall that continues down a passageway. There's a lot of murals in this

mine. Well, now I'm curious about that mural.
I know.

I want to go check out the mural. Sure, we just peep in there and then keep going north.
I like art. I like art.
You know? We are in a hurry because of because of private parts. Oh, I forgot.

We got a dude that's dying. Wait, aren't you still leader? Oh, oh, you know what? Thank you, Tov.
And with that, I release myself from the shackles of leadership. And I bestow them upon you, Tov.

Oh, thank you. You did not end your reign as leader under the best of circumstances.

What?

You know what? We gotta have another talk. You've been so judgy lately.
I don't know what's going on. I'm just saying.
I'm sorry, you're the king of polatness and care. Hey, you wanna hug it out?

This is me coming to you, palms open. I'm vulnerable.
I'm here for you.

I don't want to be mean. I'm just saying, like, if this is going to reflect on your, you know, performance, the last time Private Parts will have seen you, you were leader when you got abducted.

So I'm looking out for you, Naddy. But if you want, I will take the leadership.
You know, I want to give people the benefit of

a doubt, but I still feel like you might be inadvertently lacing some of these words with a little bit of judginess that maybe we still need to work on that, okay? That is my bad. I do not mean that.

I'm so sorry. Because I just want to point out, I managed to get into there, meet a demigod, convince him to help us, and now we're on our way to find private parts.

I just want to remind you of that in case you forgot. Natty, will you forgive me? I will always forgive you to ask for forgiveness.
I'm so sorry. Okay, let's let's hug.
Let's hug. Okay, hug,

time is of the essence right now. Reggie, I appreciate it.

This is important for the

purification

accomplished. What's a hug? What's what do we roll for hugs? We shall all hug now.
Reggie, you want in on this hug? Reggie comes in for a hug, too.

And

Natty picks up Gigi and hands him to Tolv and says, he needs a kiss. Who could forget? Reggie, so much of your beliefs are just in believing, not in knowing.
Wow. And that's okay.

And that's true belief. What do you yeah mean?

Anyways, Doug just gets everyone. Natty whispers to Doug, nothing.
It don't even happen.

Okay. It's okay.
Okay, so um

really quick I think we should hit the mural. Okay, a lot of good art around here.
Reggie, do you happen to have any insight on who made all of this arts down here?

We're seeing them all over the place, and it's just curious. Did O and D do this? O and D?

Sorry, Severance is.

We've been talking Severance and Stinky Pop, so it's all in my head. Well, of course, the Chase Chain is responsible for all the murals here.
Chased Chain? Yes. Who is the Chase Chain?

It's a faction I'm a part of. We are operating

Well, not me specifically, but my companions. Are the Grillps Chaste Chain? Are they part of that crew? Yeah, they help us and they serve us.
What are the what are the muos like really depicting?

It depends. That's up to the artist.
You should really check them out for yourself. If you were impressed by the one by the Wind Trader, you'll really love the one to the east.
Okay.

Are y'all responsible for the font that was at the up on the ground floor that was dedicated to the wind trader? Yes, of course. So pure.
So beautiful. Y'all.
The wind trader or the font? Both.

Pure, y'all. Hey, I got a question then.
If you know about that font, what was in? What was in that? It wasn't water. What was it? Are you going to make me blow it another episode?

Yeah, I am going to have a lot of stuff. I have one more answer to that.

Let me go back. Because we just listened to the episode where we talked about it, and I'm like, I want to know.
This ain't going to be another inkwell. I want answers.

The font itself was filled with the essence of purity, of course.

You're talking in symbolism again. I need some literal answers.
I'm a very plain girl. Only the pure may enter the chambers below through the font.
Does that mean whoop you? Oh, wait.

Was it like the wall? Ah, Helvetica.

That is a good font. That's good.
That's good. We didn't enter through the font, right? We didn't do anything.
We had the war opened up and we fell down down to fight to the bear.

Sacred font of the wind trader. Translucent water, hard as rock, but not ice.
Silver coin, wind lines. That's sorry, that's what I had written down.
Yeah,

they're a no-taker now. You know what I mean?

Sorry, Kyborg of you just now.

Yeah.

That's the voices. Weird, like with inside out, our characters are inside our head that are operating all the buttons that do stuff.
Yep. What was that liquid in the font?

Oh, an entrance for the pure into these passages lies within that font. Is it like the wall that was in the room we were just in? Similar, yes.
Similar. Okay, so it's a portal.
Portal-based.

There is, uh, let's call it a test of sorts. Ah, okay, okay.
Thank you. I love answers.

That makes sense because, you know, for some of us, maybe it was, you know, you could go through it, like the vault in the previous episode. Anyways, okay, gang, let's go down to the uh mural.

Reggie, are you gonna be joining us? No, but I would like to join you in pure spirit if you'll allow me. Yeah, go nuts.
Naddy readies like an eldritch blast in her hand.

Like Gambit charging up a card in his hand. Naddy's doing that.
Preacher Reggie puts his hands together and then puts them forward in front of you all and says,

Bless these four travelers who have been chosen by the Wind Trader so that they may become pure vessels. And with that,

a little puff emits from his ring and settles over you four.

Nanny holds her breath. What do we feel? Like, do we notice anything? Anything changed?

You feel like

that little puff in the little cloud has a smell to it. It's got an aroma.
Nanny's still holding her breath, I'm telling you.

What does it smell like? Doug wants to smell. As it settles and as it begins to go into your nose and your nasal passage, it reeks.
It's like a really bad, cheap perfume.

It's just like, that's maybe like, maybe the oils in it have started to like go bad. It's just.
So you're saying it's stinky? Yes. It's a very stinky, offensive odor.

Is it like supposed to be smelling good and it went bad? Like, is that what you mean? Or is it just like farce sulfur? Do you know how this reads to me?

This reads to me like a like a priest who's held on to their like anointing oil for too long and the oil has gone like rancid, but they're still using it for their like religious practices.

That's what it reads to me. Preacher Reggie opens his eyes and takes a big sniff.

Ah, purity. Wow.
Thanks for the JC Penny perfume sampler. Okay, let's go, gang.
Chop, chop. Thank you, Red Sheet.
Thanks.

Can I go and, I guess, salute with the little still kick thing? I'm worried about private parts that we should dally. That's why I said let's go to the mural so we should get going.

All of you make a perception check for me before you get going. While we're making that perception check, Geeky smells the noxious thing and decides to reciprocate with a fart towards him.

Wow, that's a four. But the winds say to go to the north.
Incredible aromas. 21, 19.
Mr. Boone.
I got a 21.

Oh, okay. All four of you look around.
Gunther doesn't realize it, but the other three of you do. Now that

that puff and that aroma has settled over you guys, you all look really clean. It's like

you took a bath or something and and straightened yourselves up. Uh, you all looking pretty good, short any change, meta-wise, magic food, no, yeah, just uh, yeah, you got the riz.

Okay, okay, okay. The winds, I felt them and they pulled to the north.
Yeah, we know that.

We just want to see some art, so we're gonna go, we're gonna follow, we're gonna follow our leader, Tov, where he takes us. Just a quick stop by the

mural. I don't think it'll hurt us.
You know, we've been finding so many cool bits of information at the murals. Yeah, Gunther salutes and falls in line.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I think metagame-wise, Doug would have probably sketched each mural that they've seen so far in his little notebook. So

he has like a rough drawing of what each one would have been so far. That's good intel.
Way to go, private Doug.

Thank you,

also private Tov.

What's your last name? Just Tov. Oh, okay, so kind of like Madonna, Beyonce, or a little bit, yeah.
I consider myself kind of an icon, a bit of an artiste, yeah. Okay, private Tov.

Gutther, do we know your last name? No.

Okay. Well, wait.
I don't know. I don't know if you've mentioned it enough.
Well, we know that.

Wasn't it Windbreaker? Yeah. Yeah, because I think we've learned your parents' names at one point.
All right. To the mural.
My name is Tov, members only jacket.

Windbreaker. I don't know.

Anyways,

that one went right over my head.

All right, going to the mural. Here we go.
What do we see? Alright, so what's your marching order? You know, you go to this door to the east, and what's the order you're going to go through it?

I don't mind leading. I will go behind.
I'll go last. Okay, so it's going to be Toll, Gunther, Natty, Doug.
And before I open the door, I would like to check for traps.

Alright, make an investigation check. Okay.

Here we go. I won't lead you astray, team.
That's a 10.

Nope, nothing at all. Great!

kicking the door down here we go all right so this uh door to the east is is it's like a sliding iron door and uh you go to open it and it it doesn't budge it appears to be locked got my iron key from earlier yeah i can try on it yeah you uh use that key and the door makes a very satisfying click and unlocks and slides away to the side

all right oh Real quick, I never do this, but I should do it as a good little warlock. I'm going to cast Armor of Agathas on myself.

A protective magical force surrounds you, manifesting as a special frost that covers you and your gear.

You gain five temporary hit points for the duration, and if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes five cold damage, lasts an hour.

It helps with detection skills.

Agatha Christie. I was wondering where that was coming from.
I was like, I don't see that in the description. I think you're going to do Agatha all along.
Oh, no.

Okay, cool. Yeah, so you slide the door open, Toll, and you look, and it's almost like this is a long hallway.

So it goes for a little bit to the east in the direction you're facing, and then curves and is a long hallway to the north.

The air in this passage, unlike the other ones you've been in so far, is clean.

It's not all dusty. And there's iron walls with symbols etched into them.

And there's four exits: one to the northwest, one to the northeast, one to the southeast, and then the one you came in from the southwest. Okay.
So it's like it's a long passageway to the north.

Then at the top, it almost like T intersections, where there's a passage to the left and a passage to the right.

And then partway up the hallway to the north, there's a passage that juts off to the east. What did you say was on the wall? Runes or something?

What was it? There's iron walls with symbols etched into them. And then there's no mural? Well, you take a look at the symbols, and it's almost like that is the art in this room.

They're They're like crudely drawn symbols on the iron walls, and it appears like they're silver coins with wind lines. Three wind lines made of white chains.
Chased chain was what they were called.

Wait, along all the walls? Along the western wall, because

there's no door on that one. There's no passage on that one, I should say.
And

all of the symbols are the same. The silver coin with or the silver circle with the wind lines? I should clarify, just because it was confusing the way I said it.

It's like almost like two different symbols all over the walls. There's like the silver coin with the wind lines, and then separately, there's also like three wind lines made of white chains.

Okay, so that's just like tile-wise decorating the wall? Yeah, I wouldn't say tile, but it's almost like mosaic, like all over the place. Okay.
Okay. Do we recognize this new symbol?

I think that the three wind lines with white chains is kind of a new thing. It's the same thing you were describing of what was on the coin, isn't it? Or are they different symbols?

It seems like it's a different symbol. These are like wind lines made out because the coin has wind lines, and these are wind lines that appear to be made of white chains.

They're similar, but there is like a difference. Like these wind lines are made of chains.
The other one on the coin is not made of chains. That's what I'm saying.
But the formation is the same thing.

Similarly,

like if we're looking at the tablet on the fifth element, it's the same symbol. Sure, sure.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I imagine it has to do with like some symbolism for the wind trader.
It's the wind trader.

Yeah, yeah. That's what that's, I'm with you on that.
Chased chain, though, is what you mentioned, is what that faction is called. Correct.

Who's been making these different murals and stuff like that? Correct. Well, Tolv, what'll we do? Well, checking in on Private Wind.
Where is he blowing?

He was blowing us not to this room, member. Well, let's just see if he changed his mind.
You know, maybe he rerouted it like a GPS. Not that you guys know what that means.

Make a perception check, Private Tolf. Okay.

That is a nat 20.

Let's go.

Now that's a leader! That is a leader!

You feel like the wind is pushing you generally north, like to the end of the, let's call it hallway. So, like, up to the very north.

And in the previous room, the wind was also directing Gunther north, so I wonder if it just wants to get us north. Yeah, maybe the two exits combine at the end.

Okay, gang, I'm not seeing artsy fartsy like we were all hoping. Sorry, there's no mural.
I'll take responsibility. He's kind of artsy.

No, it's not a cool like guy drowning in the sea or like any like star map or anything fun. I'm gonna take personal responsibility for that one, gang, as your leader, okay?

But I will find you new art. Let's go to the north because that's what the wind is telling us to do.

Yeah.

Yes. Have you noticed Talf keeps talking to somebody that's not here? What do you mean? Why is all you talking us?

He keeps responding to someone that's not here, and I'm not quite sure what where he's going when he does that. Hey, what do you guys talking about?

Told, uh, you need to talk about anything, buddy. You're doing okay? Yeah.
Do you hear voices? Or? I mean, sometimes, yeah, sure. Don't you guys?

Does a voice sound like

a man named Vustavo?

Yeah, Vustago, yeah. Vustago Rizzolo.
Yeah, I know. And sounds like a pasta dish.
Is that another deity that you worship you forgot about? Maybe, you know, it's been so long. Vustago Ruzolo.

it sounds like tosta yeah you wouldn't be the first one told okay guys we're gonna go to the north once we're done you know

talking to each other about my voices all right i'm not offended by the way it's cool that's fine i just i'm concerned about your health i'm always going to be concerned about you healthy as nox doing great so do we safely go north gustavo yeah we'll say yes uh you all go to the northern end of the passage and like i said at the top it's almost like a t there's a door to the west, and then a small passage, and then a door going to the east.

I think maybe we take the small passage, because that's kind of telling us north, right? Well, do you want to maybe see if the wind is indicating any sort of direction? Private wind, you're up.

Here we go. Private wind.
Reception? Yeah. Ooh, that's a seven.
Anybody else want to check in on private wind? I'll check. That's 20.
17. Nice.
Way to go. Going third.

You're really in touch with the wind. I'm impressed.
I mean, his last name is Windbreaker. Oh, that's true.
Just don't break it. I was thinking maybe it's because he's like damp and you can feel it.

You can feel it a little more easily. Yeah, Gunther, you feel like the wind is gently guiding you to the east.
Gunther closes his eyes and follows it. Okay.

So spiritual. Yeah.

You follow it and you gently bump into a door. Oh,

I found the way to the door. Great.
Is it locked? Yeah, you take a look and you can't appear to budget. And it looks like there is no handle on the door.
Is there a keyhole? Private key, you're up!

Private key.

No, you do not see a keyhole on it. Can I look at the ground below it and see if it's, you know, when a door opens, it like the dirt moves, kind of creates like a, you know, semicircle? Sure.

Like for where the door turns. Can I see if it like opens inward or outward? You know? Make an investigation check for me.
One. I find nothing.
What door? I still have my eyes closed.

How sturdy is this door? It seems like it's an iron door. It's uh it's it's kind of sturdy.
That's like your captain. I don't want to talk about him.
Okay, how about it? Like, are there any um

oh, do I see any like weaknesses, you know, like any like hinges that could get blown off by like a cool hammer?

Yeah, you begin taking a look for hinges, trying to see if there's something you could hit with a hammer toll.

And as you're doing that, you see there's a marred sign on the door, something you hadn't noticed before. You take a look, and it's almost like it's hard to read, but you can see it ends in enter.

Do not enter. Maybe.
Now, there's usually a lot of like positive words in front of enter on an entryway. It's like, y'all should enter.
Or. Knock and enter.
You'd be foolish not to enter.

Can I take a, you know, page out of our good friend Preacher Reggie's book book and purify this here plaque and see if it says anything? Reggie. Reggie, so sorry.
Sorry, Reggie.

I don't know if you heard that.

It's okay.

Yeah, what do you mean by that? Like, how are you going to purify it? Just give it a wipey wipe. Yeah.
See if it, like,

takes any dirt or grime off so I can see the rest of the sign. You, like, pull the sleeve of your tunic up over the palm of your hand and like rub at it.
Yeah, sure.

Oh, Natty goes, I can help, and just picks up Giggy and just wipes his slobber all over with with the sign to wet it for him. Yuck.

Make me a roll to see if Giggy's compliant or not. Yeah, let's see.
Of course.

14. So, yeah, he is.

Okay. I was going to have him eat the sign if he failed.

Well, I was thinking even if he wasn't compliant, it'd be like if you're picking up like almost like a little dog that doesn't want to be held, you know, that little squirm they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, no, but he's happy to do this. He wants to help.
Yeah, there's lots of flavors on the door for Giggy. He goes, meal time? Just building up his immune system.

Yuck.

Yeah, and you scrub at it a bit, I guess, told. And it doesn't clean up too much.
But yeah, you think before the word enter might have been the word not. Oh.

Could Kunther hold up a piece of silver to the door and see if it does anything? Yeah, just like a currency silver piece? Yeah. Good idea.

Yeah, you hold up and touch the silver to it and nothing seems to happen. And we already checked that it's unlocked, correct?

Yeah, it seemed to to be stuck locked close. Don't

okay, gang, so the wind is telling us to go north, but this is a dead end, it feels.

Well, maybe we could go back into the other room where we met Reggie and then go north from there, because maybe that's another way to get north. Inspiration die.

Don't forget, there is also, besides the passage to the northwest out of here, there is another passage to the east out of here as well that you passed on your way up.

Which would be coming back the way we went, kind of, right? No.

You came from the south, so if you went back down a little bit in this passageway there's another passway branching off to the east okay got it okay but the wind was pointing us this direction yeah correct yeah i agree we should maybe uh backtrack and go towards the original direction that uh our wind buddy was telling us i think that's a great idea i do want to point out we are going to have another awkward encounter with reggie so as long as you guys are cool it's only awkward if you make it awkward i'm very awkward what if we we do that thing where you know if you're like racing to get get somewhere because you're late and you're like oh i'm so sorry can't talk i i gotta get somewhere really fast but like i'll see you later like you know still friendly but also urgent at the same time brilliant strategist my gosh

i've been in a lot of awkward situations that i've had to uh wheel and deal my way out of we say the wind god is calling us to purify and must hurry Okay, so let's go back down the hall and then we're gonna just immediately take, I think, a right to the other passage to the north.

All right. Yeah? everybody cool? Yes.
All right. Thumbs ups.
You begin proceeding, heading you back down south down this hallway. Everyone make me a perception check.

11. Nat 20 for 21.
30-20. 25.
Okay, some good rolls there. I had a nat 20.
So you gotta tell me everything.

The three of you, everyone except Natty and Giggy, you notice as you are proceeding back down south through the passageway that the wind shifts.

And as you're passing that other passageway that branches off to the east, it turns and starts pushing to the east at that point. Oh, make up your mind, private wind.

I guess we should follow that. I mean, I'm down if you are.
That's spoken like a true leader.

Guys, we're gonna go down.

Just go to the east. Come on.
You got it, Lido Tov. God, I can't wait to get out of these tunnels.

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Cool, I'm taking them to these. Yeah, I followed.

Yeah, there's a door here, and it appears to be another sliding iron door like the one you entered this passageway via. Okay, private key insert into the hole, do your job.
It seems to be unnecessary.

This one, you know, when you push on the door, it's like you're able to move it without having to use private key. How do you use private key?

It's gonna be real embarrassing if it becomes corporal key and you all have to, you know.

Yeah, so you open up this sliding door and it reveals another... Chris got that one.
Chris likes that one. I was just thinking about it's like if it is like Lockheed Mark

because it's in the military. Oh, that's funny.
The sliding door moves aside and you see another passageway proceeding to the east. And this passageway also has clean air and iron walls.

And there's tools and leather aprons hanging on the walls. And there's two exits.
The one you came in and then to the northeast. So it's like a long passage.

And then if you continue going east down the passage, then to the north, that's where the exit is. What kind of tools are hanging on the wall? You see leather aprons, tongs, moles, and bellows.

So like blacksmith stuff? Yeah. Or silversmith? Similar.
Do you have blacksmith tools already, Gunther? Gunther, you need to restart? I thought I did, but then I found out that I didn't.

But I thought you picked those up like from the underground passage where you got the Zodia thing? Barbara did because I thought I already had some. Oh.
I think I got thieves tools.

I don't know if I have blacksmith's tools either. You got Smithig tools because I remember I didn't pick them up.
There's plenty here. Oh, I do have Smith's tools.
Yeah.

Okay, yeah, if you both want them. Yeah, there's plenty here.
I I guess, yeah, I'll pick them up, but put it on as if I look like so that we shall look like we are cleansing. Ooh.

Good idea. Fit right in.
So what, you like, take one of the aprons and put it on and keep the tongs, the moles, and the bellows in your inventory? Yeah, okay.

Should we just put all those together as they're like just smithing tools or do we put them in individually? I guess you can just put like smithing tools if you want.

But I would say keep the leather aprons separate because that's not like generally considered part of smithing tools. Cool.
Gunther, you the only one doing that?

I'll take a leather apron just because I feel like that's a good disguise. I think they can throw out a good idea there.
I just don't think it matches my outfit, so I'm gonna abstain.

Totally understand. I'm not gonna take one either because, you know, we could just say that we're escorting these guys to do their work.
Let's say they're escorting us. Oh, fancy.

You've got your best performers.

We're gonna be talking for you guys. You got it.
We're gonna lie so good, deceive the pants off of them. Okay.

Chris, once you're done, then I think we could probably just. Yeah, no, I'm good.
All right. I'm ready.
So let's go to that east door. All right.
Private key.

You all begin walking down the hallway, and as you're walking, told something in the leather apron keeps slapping your thigh with every step that you take.

There's like something weighing down one of the pockets in front of the leather apron. Uncheck the pocket.
What's in here? You dig around inside of it and you pull out a spatula. Spatula.
Yeah.

It's a spatula that appears to be made out of red jade. And like the blade part is like half missing.
Oh. Do I have anything in the other apron?

You check and the pockets in yours appear to be empty, Gunther. What you got, Talve? I got a red jade spatula.
We're having burgers tonight, guys. Woo!

That's probably not cursed. Does Doug recognize it at all or like see any significance in it? Doug, you've only heard of this and you've only read about this.

You can't believe you're actually seeing this with your own two eyes. This is the spatula of searing.
The spatula of searing.

Mm-hmm. Which I know does.

This magical spatula can heat metals until they glow red hot.

Cool. That would be pretty useful.
But it seems weird. In all the writings you've ever read about it, Doug, the blade should be whole.
It seems like maybe it's only missing part of itself here.

So, like it's been broken? Yeah. Maybe the other piece is in the room somewhere.
Or in like one of the other pockets of the different

aprons hanging there. Guys, fan out.
We gotta find this spatula. Alright, let's go.
Let's look for it. It's very important.
We check the aprons. Make me tall.
Make me a constitution saving throw.

Okay. Is he getting burned by it right now? That's a nat one.
Uh, inspiration, die. Can you?

The one from earlier? Yep, this is the one.

I would say that this is actually quite an important maybe roll. 24! Call Jack Bauer!

The spatula of Searing seems to be getting hot in your hand, and it's making you feel kind of queasy. Okay, I'm gonna just put that down on the table.
No table. Gonna put that down on the ground.

Gunther uses the tongs and

he holds it. Okay.
Wow, that was weird. Many ways.

Anybody else want to carry this spatula of burn my hand off? We can hold it for now. Can we look for the other aprons for it? Yeah.
The other part of it.

If anyone wants to do that, you can make me an investigation check. I will also look.
All right. 12.
4. 22.
Ooh, it's a good roll.

Yeah, you check, all three of you check some of the other, or all of the other aprons that are hanging on the wall, and none of them seem to have anything in the pockets.

I figured with that investigation check, we check the whole room. Is that okay? Or do we need to do another roll first? Yeah, sure.
Yeah, you check around the whole room.

There's really nothing other than the aprons and the tools hanging on the walls, so there really wouldn't be too much else to check.

But yeah, you look around wherever you can, and yeah, you can't seem to find anything else. Doug, I just had a thought.
Since you know what this little doohickey is, are you able to maybe turn it off?

Would I have that knowledge of my... Like, if I'm familiar with this and I know kind of what it does to a degree, would I know anything about that?

You don't think there would be any way to turn it off. Based on your knowledge of this artifact, you think that it might be malfunctioning.
Oh. Maybe because there's no other piece.

Yeah, perhaps if you had the right tools, you could mend it with your artificer skills. But in its current state, it's not quite operating the way it should.
I mean, I do have Smith's tools.

Could I attempt to fix it real quick? Well, we don't have a thing to attach to it. We're missing the piece.

Right, you're missing like a piece and/or like a source of heat, like a fire or something to kind of heat that goo up.

Uh, I'm sure some member on my team could uh, you know, make a fire of you know, have some type of fire spell, right, guys? Right, right, surely.

You have fire spells, you silly boy. Oh, I do!

I got so excited for the special of sealing that I just... Well, also, I'm hungry, so it's just a little distracted.

Okay, well, let's hold on to this important artifact until it becomes pertinent for us to use it or fix it. But it's affecting toll, is it not?

He's holding it with the tongs, the croak folk dudes guy.

Yeah. Okay.
Well, I mean, you're only going to be able to do that until we're in combat, and then you're going to have to drop it.

So, like, maybe we should wrap it in, like, leather, and then someone carries it. That might burn it as well.
We'll just hold on to the tongs until we need to drop it. Yeah, Gunther's got this.

Yes, he needs something to do. Maybe, maybe Greggie knows.
He said his name right. Look at you.
Reggie. Greggie? Greggie.

From kind of funny? No.

All right, where to now, leader? We're gonna keep following that wind. We're gonna keep going eastward.
Okay,

north? Yeah, you go east, and then the door is at the northern end of this passage. Okay, so we'll go to that door.
All right.

I want to also mention, I think Doug would be looking at every kind of like piece of the floor and like along the walls to see if there's a piece of the broken blade anywhere, any room that they go into.

Just kind of like lightly looking around. Okay, yeah, that sounds good.
Passive perception. Yeah, so I don't know if you want me to roll a perception with every room we get.

What I'll do is intermittently, I'll ask you for them. Okay.
But that door that had the sign that says something enter, probably do not.

Did there look like there's anything that this spatula could have interacted with, like used to open it? Or if we could, like, qui-gon jinn episode one it and just smelt through the door.

I would say you weren't looking for that before, so you don't exactly remember, and you rolled a really bad investigation check. That's true, I did.
So you wouldn't necessarily know that for a fact.

So you go up to this door, and it's an iron door, and this iron door also has a sign on it, and the sign reads, entrance only.

Perfect. I wonder if this aligns, like, if this is, we're about to enter the room we would have entered, but through the correct path.
Tov leads the way. Follow me, gang.
So you open up the door?

Yeah, I follow Tov. Yeah, sorry.
After checking for traps. After checking for traps.
Make an investigation check for me. You've got it.

Ooh, 17.

Yeah, you check the door for traps, and it does not appear to have any traps on it aside from just the opening mechanism. All clear.
Better safe than sorry. Alright, I open the door.

You open the door and it opens up to a room with clean air.

It's a circular room with iron walls with a bloomery in the center and the baron standing over a table holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table. Oh no.
There's two exits to this room.

The one you came from from the south and then one out to the west. Wait, a broomery? A bloomery.

It's a conical chimney made of clay and there's pieces of silver slag nearby. So many words I don't know.

It's involved in like the smelting of silver. And you said there's exits to the

west and to the south, and the one from the south is the one you just came in. Okay.
And they're in the center of the room? In the center of the room? Yeah, that's where the

bloomery is. And there's also the Baron standing over the table holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table.
Have they seen us? Private parts sees you, but the Baron does not at the moment.

It appears like the Baron is trying to interrogate Private Parts, asking, what do you know of the Pathfinder? Okay, Tolf, give us the plan. What are you? You're not private anymore.
What are we...

You're acting... Dang it, I'd ask Private parts, but that fool's tied up.
Team leader. Super private at this point.
Yeah. Okay, so Tolv is going to take out his shield.

And then he's going to take out a javelin. And then with the javelin, he's going to point at Doug and Gunther.

And then he's going to point down to the left of the door. You want us to sneak that way?

Hey, Doug, do you think Tolv knows he's saying this out loud? Do you think he knows that?

We all know that Tolv likes to talk into a push.

And then I'm going to point the javelin back at Naddy, and then I'm going to point it at me, and then I'm going to point to the right and say, we're going to go that way.

I know that Doug is sneaky, so I'm proficient in stealth. That's true.
Gunther nods,

but then holds up the burning thing with his tongs, puts it in his apron. Yeah.
Gives

a thumbs up. And then quietly pulls out his sword and goes, We shall check for bonds for private parts.

Okay, that's cool. I'm gonna throw the spear at the baron.
And Nanny, I think you should cast a spell and surprise him. And then you guys jump him while we're distracting him.

Okay, it's gonna be very cool. Okay, I got it, boss.
Okay, it's gonna be so good. Go, team.
Okay, here we go. And then I throw the javelin.

Have we snuck to the sides yet?

Yeah, so I think, Tov, I think you you would give them a chance to go out to their respective sides. Yes.

First, I'm going to answer Chris's or Gunther's earlier question about private parts restraints. Make an investigation check for me, Gunther.
I do like the idea that 14.

Tolv tells us to go to sneak to the sides, and then before we could even move, he throws the parts. He throws a javelin down.

Gus is being a little bit too giving in, like, telling Blaine, like, you want to do that after they move, right? Of course, of course.

That's what you want. Oh, totally.

So, Gunther, as you're you know entering the room and getting into position you take a look at the restraints on private parts and it seems like he's bound by leather straps to the iron table iron straps leather

leather straps to the iron table iron table sorry my brain heard the opposite iron straps to the leather table leather table

how does private parts look handsome sweaty handsome sweaty okay but like healthy why don't we worry about his state after we have been able to approach him let's go with this plan plan.

Still alive at this point, because

he's being asked.

Maybe a little worse for the wear, but he's still kicking. He's still sweating.

All right. Everyone make stealth checks.
Oh, God. If I'm proficient, do I do two and take the best? No, no.
Proficient just means you add your skill bonus to it or your proficiency bonus.

It should already be it in D ⁇ D Beyond.

It's just if you're proficient, you get a little bit more. Because it's a plus higher number.
I only rolled an 11. Yeah, for example, your stealth is a plus four.

If you weren't proficient in it, it would be a plus two. Yeah.
Right. Okay.
I rolled a 14. 21.
I have disadvantage on stealth, so I rolled a six. Well, he doesn't need to be stealthy.
That's true.

It's true. Oh, but I thought you were moving off to the side with Natty.
Well, I'm moving off to the side, but we're the

distraction. Oh,

I didn't hear that part of the play.

We're going to attack him first, right? We're going to throw and cast spells and javelins. Oh, okay.

And then they're going to be behind him so really they need to be the ones that you know pass the stealth throw okay i'm not pulling this out of my butt this is all pre-pounded how this actually was supposed to go is they were supposed to go first

and then we got me

yeah i don't yeah

do you want to pass leadership right now to someone else almost i'm almost there let's see how this encounter goes okay i'm not saying you should i was just asking if that's where you feel yeah it's very stressful i have a much deeper appreciation for your three episodes worth of leadership.

You gotta walk in someone's shoes sometimes. Understand how those shoes feel.
They're very small and high heeled. I don't think the boots would fit him.
I don't think so either.

Oh, sorry, I can't heal you guys because I'm on the other side.

So you all begin entering the room, but for some reason, you all, I guess you're looking at each other, looking at the Baron.

Almost everyone trips on rocks or their armor starts clanging and the Baron's head shoots up and begins to turn around to look.

But at that same moment, private parts begins shouting, I know where the Pathfinder is. I can tell you everything you need to know.

And the Baron's attention is refocused on Private Parts instantly.

Natty nudges Tov, throw it, throw it,

you crazy man. Okay, okay, where are we going? Here we go, go, here we go, gank, here we go.
Just throw it. Here we go.
Just throw it.

Javelin's watching.

Yeah, you throw the javelin, and the baron seems unaware of you and your javelin strikes true hitting the baron. I said

that was a

six doing six points of damage. Does it get any modifier because it was a bit of a surprise attack? They were like, whoa.
No, you're asking too much. You got a surprise attack.
That's the bonus.

I think the bonus should actually be, now that you ask, I think you should have advantage on this. So roll it again to see if you crit.
Because we know you hit. Let's roll again.

You know I'm going to crit. I didn't crit.
It's like, okay, 23. Let's call it.
Let's call it again. So yeah, your javelin strikes you doing 61 points of damage.
I'm sorry. It was six.

Doing six points of damage. I was about to be like, nice.
I appreciate that, but no.

I did not accidentally say how much hit points the Baron has. You did.

Everyone. Thank you for that honesty, guys.

Everyone, go ahead and roll initiative.

Really quick, while you're rolling initiative, Natty grabs Tov, gets her hands right on his face, on his cheeks, pulls him right up to her face, and she goes tov i need you angry for this fat okay okay okay

yes okay that's what i need for this fat is this is this angry enough

yes perfect ease then

just a quick question of clarity did private parts say i know where the pathfinder is yes yeah okay so clearly this is an individual because we all we knew was uh what do you know the baron said what do you know of the pathfinder so we didn't know if that was like i see i could be an awesome a map, a thing.

Yeah. There is the potential that

Private Parts knew we were about to spring an attack. So he said something to distract the Baron.
Could be. That's a possibility.
It seems like based on that, yes, and also what Blaine said.

I rolled a 16 for initiative. Thank you, Natty.
5. 10.
16. Doug and Naddy, you both had 16.
Which one of you has higher dexterity? It's 15. And mine is 14, so you have higher.
Okay. I have a question.

I had fire vulnerability from like way, way back when. Oh, that's worn off at this point.
All right.

The Baron turns around with rage in her eyes and sees the four of you split up across the southern portion of the room.

Netty, you're up first. Real? Okay.
Kill, kill.

Yeah, it's just assessing.

I wasn't thinking of going first. I'm just recessing if there's anything else other than just shooting.
I think we should get private parts and leave.

I don't know if an expeditious retreat is in our is in an option. He's kind of right next to the person we gotta fight yeah i'm gonna hex the

baron i hex you

and i'm gonna put disadvantage on i'll tell you what i'm gonna ask you for something here naddy because you said that the person you're trying to get is right next to the person you're trying to fight make me a let's call it a perception check here can do that's 16.

As you're, you know, I don't know how you're communicating, yelling across the room to Gunther, trying to coordinate your plan, you notice something.

You notice that, you know, when the Baron turns around and is looking at you guys, Private Parts pulls out like a little hidden pocket knife and begins trying to cut at the leather straps.

And you see one of his straps is nearly cut all the way through already. Cool.
He seems to be handling it himself. He's doing great.
Great job, Private Parts.

Luckily, it's not iron straps because his pocket knife wouldn't cut through that. I was going to say, yeah.

A leather table, you just cut through the table.

Okay, yeah, but I still hex the Baron. Yep.
I'm painting a picture for you to do what you will. I love pictures.
Hex gives me disadvantage, gives them the disadvantage on

strength checks. I don't know.
Nothing ever works with these disadvantages because no one ever does checks in the middle of a fight. Okay, I wrote it down.

Okay, yeah, nothing else to do, so then I shall do,

I'm a blast him, and I shoot an Eldritch Blast at him. All right.
Favorite catchphrase of the season. Then I started blasting him.
I'm a blast him. 23 to hit.
That hits. All right.
Seven force damage.

The Hex then does three necrotic damage.

And then Repelling Blast pushes that Baron 10 feet back,

which is good. I like them getting away from

prep out. Sure.
And then plus three damage for my agonizing blast, which is so another three damage. Oh man, that's a lot.
Nice. You did 13 points of damage.
Yeah. Wow.
Kind of cool.

Not 61? Are you sure?

61 minus 13. You can figure it out for yourself.

That's how I did it. I was like, oh, there was

okay. Now I know.

And then,

giggy, get him. Ah.

my giggy impression. Murlock.
I, you know what? We said, like, early on, like at the top of this campaign, like, oh, you asked, like, who's gonna do Giggy's voice? And I was like, I'll do it.

But I like how it's turned into everyone just makes giggy sounds. And so it's like taking turns where everyone just does little gremlin noises.
It's fun. It is.
It is. I agree.
Yeah.

The audience hasn't heard Chris's impression. It's just a young British man.
And we're like, no, Chris,

my name is Giggy. No, Chris, not quite.

Shall I follow out her?

I will never not picture the little monster on the side of the bus on the Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors episode with Bart. Yeah.
That little gremlin monster on the side.

That's how I pictured Giggy forever.

That's a good one. I think a stitch.
Okay, so Giggy then's going to rush in for a good old... What does he do? Bite? He bites.
He claws. He claws.
He bites. He bites.
He claws. He claws.
He claws.

Now, Giggy's going to do a scare. You should roll to see if Giggy's going to do that.
You should roll if your butt's big. I like big button again.
I haven't rolled this before.

What's a 10 do you think? I would think a 10 would be fail, right? 1 through 10 is the lower half, and 11 through 20 is the higher half. Okay, Giggy doesn't go for the Baron.

Giggy goes and tries to scare private parts.

So Private Part needs to make a DC-10 wisdom saving throw.

All right, I can do that. Give me one second.
I did not have Private Parts character sheet open yet, so let me open that.

If anybody in the comments can help me understand how to use hex more advantageously, considering so much of combat throws are saving throws, but it gives the combatant a disadvantage on checks.

And I just haven't successfully used it very much. It could help on things like grapple checks and things of that nature.
So you could see. And that's why I go strength.
That's why I go strength.

Like you mentioned strength, that's why I bring it up. So it's all about like, what checks could your other party members proc in combat that would then be used?

And that's what what i'm saying is like so far no one's had checks that have been really necessary and so that's why i'm like well it's good to know though because now if we have a grapple situation yeah that's why i go that way i do strength or dex because sometimes dex checks happen just because that's a a thing like uh like physically it was good i'll keep that in mind just going forward private parts rolled an 11 so he succeeds so i guess like he's you know trying to cut his traps and free himself and giggie locks eyes with him and uh makes a scary face and private parts just kind of looks at him quizzically as a drop of sweat comes down his rolls down his temple over his chin.

Sammy still turns to Giggy and goes, good boy.

She's proud of him no matter what. Very sweet.
All right, is that it for you, Natty? I'm done. All right, Doug, step up to the plate.
Doug, is he a question for Doug? Go ahead.

Does he recall ever being frightened or like anyone being frightened by the Baron? Like the Baron using an ability or something to frighten people? Yeah. Yeah, in our first combat?

No.

From your first combat, you remember that it seemed like it won't apply here necessarily, but the Baron was using like those obelisks to kind of slow you guys and stop people and pin them.

And it seemed like the Baron was wearing armor that was maybe powered by those obelisks because you all destroyed one and a piece of her armor kind of like broke and fell off.

And those aren't down here, are they? The obelisks? Correct. Those were up one level where the people from the Ruins of Rezine are currently.

Yeah, I didn't know if there was like she brought some down with her or or something. No.
Where they're pilfering the THE people's resources. The armor's still there.

The rest of her armor's on, except for a button part of it that appears to have broken off. Well, I feel like I want to be useful here.

And I touch Gunther on the shoulder, and I go, guidance.

And I cast guidance on Gunther.

It is Gunther, but thank you.

You know what? I'm going to let that one work again.

So for this one, I touch one willing creature, which I assume Gunther is willing. And before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that roll to one ability check of its choice.

It could roll the die before or after making the ability check.

And then the spell ends. Alright.
And then before my turn ends, could I just do a quick glance around to see if I see that piece of the spatula?

Yeah, make a... Let's call it an investigation check.
Oh, man. Rolled from a nat 20 onto a 2, so it's a 6 total.

Yeah, you look around the room trying to find any pieces of red jade, but as far as you can tell, you don't see anything like that in the room that you're in right now.

So the piece that's broken off is a piece of red jade that we would be looking for. Yeah.

Wait, it's red jade? Yeah. I thought jade was green.
Is it the handle or is it like the spatula part? It's like the blade part. Okay.

And jade can come in green, red, black, gray, brown, yellow, and white colors.

I feel like all we've learned from this show, or one of the things we learned from the show, is that all these precious stones that we always thought was like one color, because this is the same thing with like,

there was another one that in another campaign that we thought was like orange but like turns out it comes in like turquoise and and all that as well right oh yeah steven universe was very educational for me and rocks and geology they're minerals murray

yeah that's it

okay uh you done doug uh yes okay so from a metagame perspective mike's gonna do a little bit of reading uh while we've been sitting here talking and i'm gonna read you something about hex john you may be interested in this.

Curious about the spell's intent? The spell is meant to be a classic jinx, the sort seen in folklore. It's useful in and out of combat.
In combat, the spell provides some extra necrotic damage.

Outside of combat, you could foil a cutting diplomat, for example, by casting the spell and imposing disadvantage on his or her charisma chest.

Does it have anything that notifies people you've hexed them, or can you do it discreetly? I bet you could do it discreetly. I'd have to read the exact wording on this.

Nothing in the wording says they know that it's happened to them. So it's got verbal and somatic components.

So they maybe might hear you saying it or they might see you like channeling, physically channeling it. Yeah, but you could do it discreetly if you want.

You could they themselves will not feel anything. It seems like that way.
Okay, that is helpful to keep in mind. I will use hex more strategically in that way.
Prick.

Tov, you are up after Tov is the Baron than Gunther. Oh, you who?

Okay.

Based on Naddy's earlier direction, I'm going to get real angry. Oh, you're not going to...
You've never seen me so mad before. What did you think about to make you angry, Tolv? Oh, Ironclad.

I'm going to rage.

This is for you, private parts. So, uh, I'm raging.
That was my bonus action.

I'm going to have my war hammer out, and I'm going to be doing one-handed wielding, and then my shield with the other one because I'm a little low on HP. Okay.

And I'm going to move myself towards the Baron, and I'm going to put myself between her and private parts if I have the movement speed to do that. You should be able to do that.
That's no problem.

Because she's 10 feet away from him now. Exactly.
She's 10 feet tall, probably.

That's a big.

Wait, what kind of a race was she? Was she an orc?

She is a fiend. She's a giant hairy devil.
And I go up and I say, You stay away from private parts. I am now the leader of this group, and I shall not let you hurt him.

And then I and I wink at private parts.

And then I say, I hope your notes are coming out as soon as you cut through that leather table.

He gives you a thumbs up with his restraint.

And then I attack. All right.
That's a fart. That's a 12.

That hits, actually. Oh.

Woohoo.

That's a seven plus two, nine. Very good.
That's a lot of damage. Oh, thank you.
And then I already did my bonus action. so.
Yeah, I'm going to stay put right there. All right.
Good job. Nice hit.

Yeah, good job.

So it's the Baron's turn to reply, and she says, That's not a knife. This is a knife.

Feel like I've heard that one before. Nope.
I just made that up right now. Oh, okay.
Wow, very clever, huh?

She's going to attack you, Told, because you're right in front of her and you hit her. She, you know, still has that woodcutter's axe that she's been using, and she takes a swing at you.

Oh, I should equip my shield real quick.

Hitting, I think it doesn't matter for this one, hitting AC24.

Yeah, that'll about do it. Does the

resistance to bludging, piercing, or slashing damage help me out at all? It will. That's when you get the damage.
On the damage. When she rolls her damage, you take half of that.
Okay, okay. Yeah.

Well, it's a hit. Well done.
She does seven points of slashing damage, and you take half. We always round down, so you take three.
Cool.

She roars in anger and takes another swing with the woodcutter's axe at you. Ah! Oh, geez.

And she rolls a one.

So she swings at you with the axe, and it slips out of her hands and flies across the room, hitting the door to the south, then clattering down to the ground. So now she also doesn't have it.
Correct.

Gigi's looking at that axe.

She looks very angry. It's okay.
You tried your hardest. It's okay.

Hey, Toll, you don't need to to be nice to her. I mean,

you goofed up so bad.

Barbarian. Barbarian.

All right. That is it for her.
Gunther, you are up. Then after you is private parts.
All right. Curious to see what he's going to do, but yeah.
Who? Which one? Me or

private parts. Oh, oh.

It's like, oh, I'm playing him. I need to figure out what he's going to do.
I'm curious to know what's going to happen there. Can Gunther get to private parts without crossing past the Baron?

Yes, just because Naddy had pushed her back 10 feet, so she's 10 feet away to the north. So yeah, from where you are, you're able to have a straight line to private parts.
All right.

Gunther wants to feel the wind while moving.

With everything, all of his movements, he's still in tune with the wind. And you also have guidance as well on you.
Yeah, double. But are your eyes open?

And then wants to discreetly sneak towards private parts, kind of low to the ground, and then pop up and then cut the handholds or whatever, the leather straps. Are you trying to hide from the Baron?

Yeah. Or at least not draw attention to the fact that we're we're cutting uh private parts free make a stealth check okay that's a 22

the guidance can i save it yes okay i'm saving it it's a concentration spell that lasts for like remember is it like 10 minutes or an hour either way it'll be through this combat yeah it it lasts yeah okay but once that you use it it's done uh yeah you get up there and uh yeah you're able to since you know he had already been working on one of the uh leather restraints you're able to pretty quickly help him with the other ones and get him free, Gunther.

And it lasts for guns lasts for a minute, which is 10 rounds. So that's plenty.
Okay. Okay.
That's what it is. I knew there's a 10.
It was like the rounds. That's what it was.
Okay.

And how much movement do I have? Can I like try and take private parts with me? Pull them away? Your walking speed's 25. It probably only took you 10 to get here.

So I'll say you have another 15 if you want. Yeah, can I try and pull private parts along with me? I know I'm a lot smaller.
To where?

To the exit. Whatever is the path of least visibility from the baron.
Make me a wisdom check, Gunther. Okay.
I rolled a seven. All right, I'm going to use that inst that

that helped die. Guidance.

Yeah. So that's a four.
Becomes an 11. Oh, nice.
Oh, thank Heaven. Oh, thank Doug.

You remembered that the door you entered from the south said entrance only. Oh.

Okay, well then we're gonna try and discreetly go to the other door.

I don't know if that like thing that was holding up private parts can it was like big enough where we can like sneak around it without being seen.

It won't cover you the entire way to the door, but you can you'll be able to get to the door. You have enough movement to actually get to that door to the west.
Okay. Well then I'll get to there.

Can I open it? Yeah. You open it and in front of you is that passageway you were in before that dead ended in the door that said not enter.

Cool. Gunther goes, wiggles his hands in the air and gestures like I picture like Kermit the frog with his arms up

shaking his arms. And you're pointing to the

exit with private parts.

I assume cutting off the things was my action, right? Let's say that was a bonus.

Then I want a tip to dodge in case I get any attacks. Okay.
Or wait, no, hide. We're going to.
He's getting out of dodge. Yeah, typically you get the hell out of dodge.
You're going to hide?

No, I'll hide. I'll dodge.
I'll dodge. I'll dodge in case I get any coming attacks.

Okay. I've never used dodge before.

It's pretty good. Mate used it.
Private parts. Don't do not worry.
We're here. Oh, thank you, Guther.
The Baron did terrible things. I'm so glad you're here.
Remember for your report.

He pulls out his tablet and begins writing down. Not right now.
Focus on escape. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when you take the dodge action, you focus entirely on avoiding attacks.

Until the start of your next turn, any attack roll made against you has disadvantage. And you make dexterity saving throws with advantage.
Okay, cool. Is that it for you? Yes.
Yeah. All right.

It's your turn, guys. It's Private Part's turn, yeah.

Because he's free. Yeah, he's free.
He'll say, Okay, Gunther, I've got your back. And he puts a hand reassuringly on your shoulder.
Thank you. I don't know if you all remember this.
He's advantage.

Yeah, he's kind of a support character.

He's helping you out. Gotcha.
But Gunther accidentally dodges the hand.

All right, we're back up to the top. Natty, it's your turn.
I think Natty just would want to continue to ferate the Baron with attacks in order to secure our retreat. Okay.

Don't forget the Baron also dropped her weapon and it's like clattering down near the center of the room. Giggy goes for the axe.
I was going to say, gotta. And I don't think I got a roll for that.

That's not me telling him to do something. That's just in Gigi's nature.
Yeah.

Something shiny and sharp? Yes, please. Yeah.
Yeah.

Can Gigi manage the axe? Like, can Gigi wield it? Does Giggy have strength? Like, have a strength score? Yeah. What is it? Gigi's strength is...

Do not judge one for being small. It's not good.
It's negative three. Oh, gosh.
I would say, what is that, like a four? A five? Five.

I would say he's able to pick up the handle, but the metal axe head drags on the ground. That is adorable.

So, yeah, I'm going to keep playing this in the world. If Gigi were to grab the axe and try to drag it towards the Baron, what would that result in, Gustavo?

I mean, he could, I would say he's able to drag it, and how far is it? Yeah, he would be able to get to the Baron. Okay, Gigi's going to attempt a swing with the axe on the Baron.
What would happen?

Uh, yeah, I'd make you, oh man, I would probably make you make an attack roll at disadvantage just because it's heavy for Gigi.

An attack roll any modifier roll a d20 twice and let's see where it ends up that was a 19 nice that was a 19 as well okay

wow so it hits

yeah i would say giggy is like dragging it and then like does a full 360 spin and bring like he has enough like angular momentum where the axe head comes up off the ground and hits the baron right in the left ankle like

throw the yeah it's like a hammer throw

yeah oh yeah the yeah uh the baby's got an axe and wouldn't you know it The Baron does not have armor on her left ankle.

What's the on that axe? What's the damage? Oh, I gotta look that up, don't I? Yes.

61!

The damage on that.

Ooh.

I want this to be overpowered so badly. Is this like she's like Achilles and her heel is like super sensitive? Yeah.
Just lops off her leg. Okay.
Roll me D12 damage. D12 plus one.

How do you roll a D12? Oh, I have a D12. It's this little Pentagon, like shaped edged one.
I put the dice up to the mic as though the dice was going to be

12.

Five. Is that with the plus one? Oh, six.
Yeah, so Giggy swings it around, doing six points of damage to the Baron's ankle. The Baron howls in fury.

Natty just starts tearing up. It's like they grow up so fast.

First, they're walking and then they're using their first axe on a bad person.

Makes me almost forget to use an eldritch blast.

That's 13 plus. Oh, wait, you said 12 got hit.
Yeah, that's better than a modifier. John, yeah.

Where you're shooting this eldritch blast, is it going to knock them towards where we're trying to escape? No. Okay.
No, it should continue to knock. It's knocking them.

Yeah. Gotcha.
Yeah. Okay.

Eldritch Blurst. After Natty is dug, by the way.
Okay. D10.
That's a nine. So nine plus three, twelve plus the necrotics damage.

Three, so fifteen plus the three extra.

18 plus 10 feet pushback. Okay, at this point, she's pretty much pushed back up against that northern wall in the room, and she takes 18 points of damage.

Despite the fact you're hitting her with the eldritch blast, she's looking angrily at Giggy and her axe. Or the axe.
Done. That's it for Natty.
Doug, you're up then. Toll.

I have a metagame question. So for magical tinkering, one of the things I could do is have something emit an odor.

And if there's something that I've smelled in the past, am I able to recreate that odor? You're going to recreate the thing that the priest put on us? Perhaps.

I feel like if it says you get to emit an odor, as long as you know the odor, you can emit it. Is this an organic thing or is this like a spell? Like you have a magic colon or something?

No, it's like a tinkering, a tinkering, kind of like what she did to your axe or a hammer. Cool.
I'd say, sure, why not? Yeah, okay. I just want to test something.
Yeah.

By the way, I should say before you do anything, Barbara, that the Baron seems to be bleeding quite a bit and heaving, like she's starting to have trouble standing up. I know this might sound a little

hypocritical, but I think we should try and not kill her. What? What? Character development.

Well, I wanted to do this with the magistrate, but some unknown god named Vestago made us kill her, no matter what, kill the magistrate, him, no matter what.

So I'd like to question this person and figure out what the Pathfinder is. Okay, well, then maybe I will try this, Dennis.
They're trying to really knock her out.

My understanding is as long as you say you're doing an attack with the intent of not kill, you do that. Correct.
Okay. So that's all you got to do.

It's like non-lethal damage is what we used to call it. I don't know if that's still the term.
Okay, then I'm going to attempt to just shoot my crossbow with the intent of not doing lethal damage.

Sure. To be very clear.
On her other ankle.

Giggy doesn't know how to do that ever.

The idea is, like, for example, if you were swinging a sword, instead of swinging and hitting with the sharp part of the blade, you hit with the flat of the blade. Things like that.
Okay.

Shooting a crossbow, I assume you're going for a fleshy part and not a vital the next part.

I'm going for the other ankle so that, like, maybe it'll hinder her ability to move or walk or anything like that. All right, go ahead and roll that.
Shoot my crossbow. Did an 18.
That hits.

My goodness.

And that would be doing five points of piercing damage right into the little tendon. Ooh, ouch.

Yeah, you hit the Baron in the other ankle.

And yeah, she drops to her knees and looks at you angrily, shaking her fist. Doug.
Not so powerful now, are you bailing? Hmm.

I mean, unless you take offense from that and want to retaliate, I didn't mean it.

He was almost bold for a moment just for a moment depending on business wow his anxiety got the better of him yeah so when you say the baron is now down are they incapacitated or still fighting still uh still fighting okay is that it for you doug and then i'm gonna move closer to where gunther was indicating the exit to the west

you would be able to get all the way there if you wanted to okay i'm not leaving the room but i'm going all the way to that to the door yeah okay all right uh i assume that's it for you doug yes told you are up with a very injured baron just a few feet in front of you.

Okay, I'm gonna get my war hammer, but the non-lethal side of my warhammer, which is just the other side of my warhammer

handle.

And I'm gonna attack with that non-lethal, one-handed.

Oh, that's an 11.

You're not quite proficient, I guess, swinging the warhammer with the stick side,

so you miss when you're trying to hit her. Yeah, I sure do, don't I? Stormora, you get get a tin foot aura effect when you start a rage.

And as a bonus action on each of your turns, when activated, one creature of your choice, your aura takes lightning damage. Do it.
So I'm going to do that instead. Not to kill.
Pikachu.

Yeah, I'm just going to do a Pikachu.

It could be like resuscitating lightning if it came to it. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh.

When you die, I'll remember that. Yeah, yeah.

It kills the baron and then brings him back to life. Yeah.
This is also non-lethal. All right.
Go for it. Oh, I got to make a dexterity saving throw.
Five. Yeah.

What's the five? What's the roll of the five? Is that damage? That's damage. DC 13.
Half damage on success.

Rolled a two, so that's a failure. Woohoo! You rolled like poop, number two.
So that's five points of damage? Yeah, non-lethal, of course. Your storm aura activates.

Lightning flashes out, striking the baron, and she falls face forward to the ground.

Guys, I think we did it. Private bars, did you see that cool thing we just did we're here to rescue you from behind uh gunther you see uh like a thumbs up emerge

it's very good that's very good we shall make them not attack us the thing that was tied up that had private parts tied up is there way we could put the um baroness in it what's the noun the item what was it called um it was like a like a box a table a table i'm looking at barbara she's motioning it looks like a table

you're gonna use a table to tie the baron up Can I help, Chris? Do you need help? No, no, no. We got charades going on.
Barbara, it's a strapping mummy kit. Yes, a mummy kit.

What?

It's just leather straps with a leather strap.

Jeven said strapping.

Strapping mummy kit.

I know he cut the straps, but can we use rope or something or anything else to tie up the Baron? Sean's head.

Yes. He's sweating.
Let's

pull his best private parts impression. I just want to remind everybody that as of right now, his primary job is to talk into a mic.

All right, yeah, you managed to incapacitate the Baron and you tie her up and restrain her. And so I know your aim is to kind of interrogate here.

So what's the first question you all want to ask the Baron? Why are we fighting each other?

The Baron looks at Gunther, opens her mouth, and says.

find out next week on the next episode of Chelsea Sticky Tragedy. That's

evil. She's going to wait a whole week to tell us? Man.
Well, I mean,

that's meta game-wise. In-game, it's like instant, but you know, tune in and find out.
Technically, two weeks.

I'm just imagining, like, the visual in my mind is this humanoid and we're in this cave and all of a sudden it like turns and morphs into exactly your face, Gus, and says,

Wee woo, wee woo, new merch alert. The Council of Barbarians and the Stinky Dragon Spring Collection have arrived at store.stinkydragonpod.com.

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In fact, here's a quick peek from behind the screen. What were your thoughts going into creating your first D ⁇ D character? So going in, this is take

me back, will you? Pre-pandemic, pre-all of that stuff.

I remember going into this not super excited because fantasy is not my thing. He wants his wizards in space, dang it.

Even when it comes to Star Wars, the Jedi stuff isn't the thing that interests me the most. It's always the smugglers and the bounty hunters and the spacefaring people.
And the hot Ewoks.

Yes, super hot Ewoks.

So I wanted to make a character that was like, it subverted all of the expectations of a fantasy setting. And I was like, I'm literally going to make a cyborg.
And his name will be Kyborg.

Is there anything you wish you changed or anything you wish you knew better? Dude, I hate to say it. and I hate how in character this is.
I know what you're gonna say. I wouldn't change a thing.

I can't find a single regret. Kyborg was like exactly like, even when there were moments where I was like, ah, you know, maybe I could have done this in the moment.

Two episodes later, I was like, I'm so glad I did that thing. Michelangelo, he looked at the marble and he saw the statue.
That's right. Perfect.
Chiseled.

Chip had a lot of regrets on how I played him. From a character perspective, love him.
You're roguing. I have a bunch of notes on Chip, but like Kyborg, love them.

No notes.

Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.

Listeners who interacted with us on the stinky dragon Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Preacher Reggie, named after Daydens, voiced by Joe Lee at Low Geez on Instagram and Twitch.

The Baron, named after Shield Maiden, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at Hi Hello Hannah, and additionally, Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben.

This week's error question was submitted by Z Tommy. Is that the French Tommy? Z Tommy.

This episode Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

All right, here's Doug's on the ones and twos with our special guest for this episode, Gustavo Sorola. Seriously, I know if it's been said before, longtime listener, listen every week.
Oh, wow.

What an honor. Thank you, Dungeon Master.
Listen, how do you think you think today's going?

I think it's going good. I think we had some good interactions with Reggie.
I'm very happy that, Doug, you identified the Spatula of Searing. Wasn't sure if you all were going to find that.

Well, you know, just Gustavo, since it's just you and me here and no one else is listening, you can tell me where that other broken piece is, right?

You got your eyes peeled.

i i have faith in you doug that you'll find either the missing piece or you'll find something that you can repair this with all right well thank you gustavo coming up next on the show uh we got someone calling in they think that uh their uh long-lost brother may be dead more on that after the break just kidding let's not include that because that is too close to home doug so dark oh thank you for joining me on uh

mornings with doug also afternoons with doug yeah afternoons with doug today private boon i need to talk to you about trying to bribe an official for information.

Private possess this offline. Private Posh, where are you?

Tell us where you are. It's the only clue we'll ever have.
Leave your message at the end of the beep. Beep.

I somehow called Private Posh's phone.

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