C03 - Ep. 13 - Mission Through Middrus - Weekend at Baronie’s
Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!
Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon
Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais
Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger
Producer: Benjamin Ernst
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Listen and follow along
Transcript
and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.
When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.
When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.
Oh, come on.
They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.
Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.
Whatever.
You were made to outdo your holidays.
We were made to help organize the competition.
Expedia, made to travel.
Attention, all small biz owners.
At the UPS store, you can count on us to handle your packages with care.
With our certified packing experts, your packages are properly packed and protected.
And with our pack and ship guarantee, when we pack it and ship it, we guarantee it.
Because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed.
Visit the ups store.com/slash guarantee for full details.
Most locations are independently owned.
Product services, pricing, and hours of operation may vary.
See Center for Details.
The UPS store.
Be unstoppable.
Come into your local store today.
Honey punches of votes is the forma perfecto den peza en la conto familia.
Cono ju las crucientes y mi elberad qual lo niños les encantas.
Ademas delicosos trosos de grandola nuces y fruta que todos vanadis brutal.
Honey punches devotes para todos.
Tokal bener para sabermás.
How do you do, all you horrid plants?
Hide your herbage in the stinky dragon and take a taste of our latest tea.
If it's the last thing I do drop, it's a mixture of snapper saw spiked tea leaves, a squirt of acidic ginger sap, vampiric peach slices, a dewdrop of water, and mixed with a honeyed botanist.
One watering can of this whistle wetter will have you saying, feed me, Seymour!
Previously, our adventurers ran into Reggie, the imprudent preacher, trying to soothsay and sway spectators into something silver or pure.
B-Team then went their way with the wind and eventually wound up at a furnace where the Baron was berating B-Team's very own private parts.
They danced with the axe-wheeling devil and saved the soldier from certain suffering.
Now the Baron is bound and B-Team is begging a question.
Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this Gassy Goss.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Tales of the Sticky Dragon.
I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.
Excellent.
Excellent.
I'm going to loud this time.
I had a lot of coffee.
You can't stop me.
Open my mouth.
Like Ace Ventura.
This week's arrow quiz.
This week's arrow quiz quick.
Yeah.
Great bit.
What a year for Jim Carrey.
The mask, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura, all the same year.
Like fire.
What a launch to a career.
Anyway.
A Liar Liar, I think, was the year after that, too, right?
Was it?
I think so.
I think it was 94.
Wow.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
I thought it was 96, but maybe I'm wrong.
That was 97.
Save me for Stinky Pop.
Oh, 97.
You're right.
Sorry.
This week's arrow question is, what household chore does your character try to avoid?
And that was sent by crazy mage 524 i need dice roll them if you got them boys are we doing a d20 correct yeah
okay five eleven nineteen fourteen you know five eleven is as tall as i am is it really no no i'm like five nine on a good day yeah
i'm 1119
very tall
uh looks like natty's up first with a 19 then gunther with a 14 doug with an 11 and toll with a five okay Okay.
All right, Hattie, y'all.
Uh, my name is John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, the Drow Warlock.
Pausing for a burp.
You got to burp like Natty.
What does she burp like?
I don't know because I didn't get the burp out.
Smaller arrow.
That's not this week's arrow question.
That's not this week's arrow.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
That should be one week.
I was always jealous.
This is a weird thing to be jealous of.
I was always jealous of people who could burp on command.
And I think Barbie, you're one of those people.
There you go.
Oh, my God.
You're welcome, listeners.
Oh, stop.
As like a young boy, that was always like, that'd be so cool to be able to do this.
Anybody who could do it, but they're always small.
They're never very impressive.
I got it out.
All right.
What is a household chore that I try to avoid?
Was that the question,
Mr.
Gustavo?
What household chore does your character try to avoid?
So this might come as a surprise to everybody, or maybe it's not a surprise at all, but I actually found that I don't avoid any household chores.
And the reason why was that I found that the activity of a household chore, whether it be like vacuuming or doing the dishes or
folding them clothes,
it brings a little
spark of joy in my brain when I complete them.
And so I actually found them as a source of like, it's like therapy.
You go around your house and you accomplish a little something and your house feels a little bit better and you feel a little bit better.
And so that just became incentive for doing it.
Nadia, I have a question for you.
Yes, Doug.
If I were to walk into your house, would your couches be covered in plastic?
Yes, but that's mostly because Gigi kept having messes on them.
Oh, that makes sense.
I just picture your house like my grandmother's house.
That's like plastic on a show, but everything is like very pristine, but like a little vintage.
Yeah.
We have a special dining room that no one uses except for special occasions.
And we have plates that sit in a little armoire that are only come out for, you know, like fantasy pope.
I also said that in Doug's voice as if it was Doug's grandmother.
I'm talking me, Barbara's grandmother.
That's Doug's grandmother.
That's Doug's grandmother.
We had an entire house I wasn't allowed into.
I'm not even kidding.
We were only allowed in like the,
what do you call it?
Like when you turn your garage into like a little like house, oh, converted studio thing.
Yeah, I was only allowed that.
There was an entire house.
And this was like a mansion.
Don't feel bad because you're not allowed in my house either.
Oh, man.
You know, I know it's true.
When are you going to let Chris know, Gus, that you've actually actually been inviting all of us over all the time except for Chris?
Don't do that.
So sad.
It's your dinner yesterday, Gus.
Had a great time at your dinner party that you had.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our weekly dinner party at Gus's house.
Yeah, we brought the plates out of the armoire.
I actually have been to Gus's house by myself before.
Like without Gus?
No, Lester was there.
Oh.
Did you call the police, Gus?
The three of us.
Okay, Gus is making a face of like, I do not recall or know what you're talking about.
I have no idea.
It was like, like, it was probably 12 years ago, but it happened.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, no recollection, but I'll take you.
Oh,
yeah.
We filmed something there.
No, this was like
non-work related.
Really?
Okay.
This doesn't sound sketchy that Chris is sharing this and Gus doesn't recall it at all.
After a party.
Oh, after a party.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Okay.
Well, that's my answer.
I like doing chores.
I like them.
All right.
Thank you, Natty.
I appreciate you sharing.
Next up was Gunther.
Hello, Gunther.
Hi.
I'm Gunther, the Male Crow folk fighter.
True.
True.
I do.
What?
Sorry.
That was, what's his name?
Ols Gruber.
That was Gruber.
It was.
No.
I think it is not
to have one that is to not hold their house.
It fills one with shame because from my home where the winds blow so hard and you must hold it so that there's nothing to topple,
those who do not help hold the house, they are, it is, we bring so much shame.
What is your house made out of?
It is in the desert, so the winds that they blow.
And so you must hold things down so that, you know, brace against them so that the wind does not blow them off.
Yes.
Gunther, I have a question for you.
Did you just read from the Bible?
What was that?
Do you have a carbon monoxide detector in your home?
No, I do not.
He sounds like a beta version of chat GPT.
So,
so, okay, let me rewind a little bit here, Gunther.
I'm going to see if we think we can connect.
So, the question was, what household chore does your character try to avoid?
And your answer is not holding down the house because of the wind?
No, I do not try to avoid it.
It is something I'm telling you.
It is a chore that everyone must help with because when the wind, in a windstorm, if you are not protecting the things that you need in your house, then yes, then it will blow.
So you cannot avoid that one.
No, no.
A household tour I do not like is to
where the tadpoles and their tails begun to fall.
I do not like cleaning them.
Great.
Okay.
He doesn't like cleaning the tadpole tails.
Yeah, so that's something new to me about them frog-like creatures.
I thought they I didn't know they fell off like a lizard.
The nubs do eventually.
They slowly become smaller and then they become a little nub and then they kind of they come off in pieces
Oh my god because then also you must gather them and they're cooked into the pot.
That makes sense.
They do lose their tails.
I just looked it up.
No gunther just told us you don't have to look it up.
I know actually Gunther knows the most about his species.
Now
I would do not eat the tadpole tails.
That's not something I do.
I don't think anyone was
I figure if you did it'd be like when you eat the placenta that kind of thing.
Yes, I don't know what that is.
Doug, that's a thing.
Sorry, Doug.
I saw your face when i said that that's a thing uh humans are weird i know doug you have said you have no intention of ever having babies so i'm teaching you about that kind of stuff wait the temples reabsorb their tails yeah that's what i that's my understanding yes yes yes see they primarily absorb it but at after a certain point because of the dry air it becomes withered and then it it uh they must come off so blain you're thinking of frogs gunther's talking about croak folk yeah i'm learning about croak folk here Right.
My bad.
So you said, Gunther, that you would not eat them, but didn't you say earlier you put them in a pot?
Yes.
Or is that just like for disposal?
No, no, they are to be eaten.
Oh, but not for disposal.
But you don't eat them.
No, yes.
You see, they beat primarily for the animals.
Oh,
I will say this.
My best mate, Bunlap, he is so funny.
He ate his own tail once and I was like, do not do it, Bunlap.
That is gross.
Bunlap, that's a cool name.
Yes, and he did it.
And I said, Don't do it.
That he did it.
What a cut-up.
Neither of you begin to eat your tail.
I may laugh, but I shall not join in.
Only my might be the only one with the tail.
We're still trying to fit.
We still do not know where this tail came from, Naddy.
The people want to know.
I will not eat it.
I will not, no matter how much the air dries it out.
I have a that if we were to get Gunther inebriated enough, I think we'd go full reverse and we'd get clear sentences.
I think it's like it'd be an opposite effect.
Like, he would just go up high register and talk a little bit like me.
Do you think you get maybe like a Buddhist accent or something?
Choose my deal.
I had this friend, his name was Stefan Urkel, and yeah,
he was like that.
It was Stephen Urkel's alternate character when he went to his machine.
Oh, so good.
Yeah.
Thanks, Gunther.
That was a journey to get there, but we did.
And I feel like I'm all the richer as a person for having experienced that journey with you.
Next up in the booth, we have Doug.
Doug, have a seat.
I just had a weird realization.
Do you think a lot of our audience even knows who Stephen Urkel is?
Probably not.
Yeah, we have a lot of old.
Old.
I mean, old, because I'm old.
Hey, I'm old, guys, so I can call you old.
We have a lot of people my age in our group.
Leave a comment if you don't know who Stephen Urkel is.
Yeah.
The Venn diagram of knowing Urkel and knowing his alter egos is pretty small.
Yeah.
Only 6.1% of our audience is 45 or older.
Well, not 45.
I think millennials know.
In that range.
Okay, so 35 and older, what are we looking at?
About 22%?
Or like 30 and older.
Yeah.
That's a quarter.
That's a quarter of our people.
There you go.
They listen to us to be cultured, okay?
They walk away with more knowledge about things they did not know.
Me and my mamas used to sit down and watch TGIF every week.
Dude, that was so good.
I love TGIIF.
Yeah.
Well, hello, everyone.
I'm Doug, played by Barbara Dunkelman.
And
I'm an artificial bug bale, level three, subclass battlesmith.
And, you know, Doug actually, you might not suspect it's looking at Doug, but Doug actually, just like Nanny, keeps a tidy home.
I believe it.
He values his possessions.
He keeps everything neat.
And, you know, he likes meticulous activities and all that stuff.
The one thing Doug tries to avoid, but can't because it would be detrimental if he avoided this one.
Detrimental.
Doug doesn't like cleaning the toilet.
But a little maybe TMI for the group, but Doug can destroy a toilet.
It's like flushing birthday cakes in there.
What are you doing?
I do I do know,
not from personal experience from a friend, that if you do have a hairy dairy air, it does
cause complications in the
turlet.
Can we not talk about that?
Sorry.
This is gross.
We're called stinky.
Do I get it?
You just talked about a shriveled piece of body coming off of a person and them eating it.
It's a frog tail, not butt hair and
jingle berries.
Anyway,
Gus is losing it.
I love it.
Gus fashioned himself a bidet, actually, for his own.
So he actually created one for his specific toilet.
So he gets nice and clean.
You create water.
Exactly.
But the toilet itself, there's no bidet for the toilet itself.
So you got to clean that.
I see.
That's probably, I bet that's a lot of people's least favorite activity, if I had to guess.
I bet you it's a really good use of the create water spell.
Oh.
I don't have that.
Gunther, what do you think about using water for that purpose?
It is a waste.
I thought you might have to do it.
Water is a very precious material, and for you to
be using it only for those things that you do not need.
How do you
put your doo-doos away?
You bury them in the sand like a normal person.
And then you drag your butt through the sand.
And like a normal, like a normal human.
That's like, oh my gosh, that's like, you know, when you go to the beach and you just got sand everywhere,
but worse.
All right.
Doug, thank you for sharing.
I really appreciate it.
Get out of here because it's Tolv's turn to get in here.
Okay, bye.
Thank you.
Yeah, you who it's me, Tolv, and I am played by some guy named Blaine, and I am a male orica barbarian.
I'm a little flustered at this question, Gus,
or sorry, Vustago, Mr.
Master.
I've not forgotten.
You know, no one tells you when you get a beard how hard it is to maintain the beard and how much hair goes everywhere.
So, like, in this sink, in this shower, you know, just all over the place.
Beard hairs everywhere in my long, beautiful, curly locks.
So, that's very frustrating.
And I think that that is the chore that I hate the most.
Yeah, I have a question.
Tolv recognizes Gunther.
So, for a household chore, but do you not live on a ship?
Now, are those not meant to blow?
So why would you try and hold it?
No, I grew the beard.
I acquired the beard after I moved from the ship.
They were very, very strict about appearances on the ship, you know, ironclad.
So anywho.
Y'all know how pirates are all about a manicured look.
Listen, you have not met Ironclad.
I hope to you.
I love meeting new people.
Well, no, you do not want to meet these people.
I'm sure he ain't that bad.
Oh, Oh,
you just went to my very tragic backstory, okay, Matty.
Toll, if you'll allow me to break the fourth wall for a moment here,
Toll does all the time.
That's actually a great setup and segue for any of our listeners.
If you head over to stinkydragonpod.com and you can sign up for the free level of our Patreon, the other day I uploaded a like a behind the scenes look at how we recorded episode four and what the players here.
So I uploaded my rendition of the Yarl Ironclad voice
on our Patreon.
So it's available for everyone, even if you're just a free member.
So head over to stinkydragonpod.com if you're curious to hear what the players hear when we're recording, because the final version is obviously very polished with music and sound effects and actual good voice actors.
Hey, if you want to hear something crappy, stinkydragonpod.com.
That's where all the crappies are.
That's it.
Was that your plug?
Talking about ironclad, so willy-nilly, so happy, go happy.
He's very mean.
I also, I need to point out, this is a very specific reference, so people would have had to seen both so the voice you did for yarl ironclad is very similar in my opinion to the voice you tried to do as elga in our narrative telephone episode with critical role
that's funny yeah it has a little bit of a similar cadence and i was just like general like European something who knows it's it's just garbage who knows for for our pro stinky listeners it's also the German dad from stinky dragon adventures oh yeah
oh yeah
no
yeah you are you've you have been published and paid for paid to do that for games and uh tv and movies gus you were in halo 3 bro i was in halo 3 yeah
and also the longest running web series of all time yeah yep okay so cleaning up after trimming your beard got it thanks folks Yeah, mostly like losing hair.
It's the shedding that gets me.
Yeah.
Golden strands.
I do not have hair.
Yeah, I know.
Do you ever get jealous?
Well, that's a separate hour question.
Yes.
Okay.
You met our friend named Hairless Hutch?
You two might get along great.
All right, let's dive into it.
All right, yeah, you managed to incapacitate the Baron, and you tie her up and restrain her.
And
so I know your aim is to kind of interrogate here.
So what's the first question you all want to ask the Baron?
Why are we fighting each other?
The Baron looks at Gunther, opens her mouth, and says,
For power.
No.
Okay, I have a more direct question.
What or who or where is the Pathfinder you keep asking about that?
We ain't got no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah, what's the miles per gallon on the Pathfinder?
We're in the market.
What's a brand of colours that?
Is that a Nissan?
Nissan?
Y'all.
Yo.
Nissan's a cool name.
Nissan is a cool name.
A very mid-car, though.
Everyone listening who has a Nissan going, hey.
Every Nissan I've had, I liked.
Nissan and Honda are going to merge.
I just wish that they would fix the look of their trucks.
Their trucks look so good.
I never bought a truck.
What do you know of the Honda Accord?
Infernos seeks the Pathfinder.
So I seek the Pathfinder.
You work for Infawness?
Y'all in Cahoots?
I am Undarian.
That's a non-answer.
No, that's an answer to me.
Of course.
There you go.
Hey, was that so hard to just answer directly?
So, Infonus seeks the Pathfinder, but we don't know what it is.
So...
So you claim.
Yes.
Do you want to test if I'm telling you true?
Let's play a little role-playing.
Let's imagine that none of us know what the Pathfinder is.
In the event that that's true, what would you say in order to explain to us what, who, or where is the Pathfinder?
We will help you look for it, but we don't know what to look for.
We're not making promises like that, Gunther.
This is not necessarily we're joining up with them.
I'm just seeking information.
No, maybe we are Vink Vink.
I like the idea that 12 says Vink Vink.
I cannot actually wink on command.
I must say it in order for it to happen.
Maybe cough next time.
Cough, cough?
okay don't don't worry about them baron just answer my question so your question is what is the pathfinder yeah i was saying let's play in a world where we don't know what it is a totally imaginary world vink vink
i'm sorry i can't help it a demigod oh okay and at this point uh private parts i guess would be like tapping on gunther's shoulder and uh whispering into his ear yes what the demigod of directions Oh.
Everyone make a perception check.
Can I also request another check to see if I know of this demigod?
Yeah, make me a religion check as well then for Netty.
Okay, I'm gonna do perception first and then religion.
Seven.
21 for perception for Doug.
20 for Tor.
Can I do that too?
Can I do a religion check?
Is that cheat?
Is that copying?
You can do both.
You look at your own test.
You gotta give me a perception check first, though.
I did.
Okay.
Where'd it go?
You got an eight.
Yeah.
Seven persons percept per for that's a hard sentence.
Seven for perception.
18 for religion.
End of sentence.
So, Doug and Toll, you both hear like footsteps and sounds approaching the southern door.
And then like a split second later, that door opens.
But I'll deal with that in a second.
I gotta deal with these religion checks first.
Didn't even get to ask a question.
Gosh.
Gunther, with a seven, you're not entirely certain, but you're kind of like, I would think you like look at private parts a little bit quizzically.
But however, Natty, you had like a 18, was that it?
Yes, I'm very religious.
You think you remember the Pathfinder is the demigod of directions.
I guess you wouldn't have heard private parts say that, but you know that independent of private parts saying it.
Obviously.
And you know, as such, as being the demigod of directions, it can be very difficult to find the Pathfinder because the Pathfinder kind of controls directions, right?
So it's hard to find.
And the Pathfinder knows how to find hidden things.
Does it come with GPS?
Oh, sorry.
It's the god of GPS.
If I might ask a question about my check, Mr.
DM, would I know, because it seemed, I think when we talked to the,
who was that, that SOB in the pile of silver?
The wind trader.
When the wind trader, he was associated with Tove's god, the water gentleman.
Water gobbler, yeah.
The water gobbler.
Is the god of directions associated with a specific god of the pantheon?
Just out of curiosity.
Are you asking if they're related to each other?
Usually demigods were sired by someone is another god.
You can't be a demigod unless there's a god above you somewhere.
I see.
So do they share the same lineage.
Lineage.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
I would say you don't think so.
Could I team huddle real quick?
Yeah.
Well, the door is opening.
Yeah, I got to deal with the door in a second.
The Pathfinder, you know, is associated with the veiled eye and not the same as what you encountered before.
But the veiled eye is one of our gods.
That's what the answer is?
Yes.
Okay, I'll ask this later.
I'll let you all do what you want to do.
Sorry to interrupt your team huddle, Doug, but that door does open, and you see an orc and a gnome walk in.
The orc is holding a rum bottle, and the gnome is holding a whip of some kind, and they seem to be arguing with each other when they stop and turn and look at you two.
At you four.
Do we recognize them?
Um, no, you do not.
You who
hello, you son of
Awkward moment, perhaps.
The orc kind of like tries to hide the rum bottle a little bit behind her and says, Uh, what's going on in here?
I should ask you the same question.
Are you drinking on the job?
Stop saying it.
Stop saying it.
We got it.
Just follow my lead.
I am.
I for one like to hear the winks, because if I don't see Tol's face, I want to know he's winking, you know?
Well, look, it's easier to pick up on the on the cues when you get multiple sensory inputs that's right thumbs up when we are trying to be sneaky it is good to say aloud
what he said well it's five o'clock somewhere oh is that so well does the boss know about that
you know it's funny you should say that we were just talking about that you see i think i'm the boss but murfin claims she is the boss which one do you think is the boss oh murfin is a pretty hard worker.
See, Murphin, worker, you work, I'm the boss.
And Murphy turns to look at the orc and says, No,
I'm in charge.
I told you they left me in charge.
You answer to me.
Are they dressed in a certain way?
The orc looks like she has a child.
She's like she's kind of young with a childish face and has a
badger pauldron.
And the gnome
is a little bit older, maybe middle-aged.
She's got scarred lips.
She's wearing a tinsel tunic and has that whip in her hand.
Did you just say tinsel tunic?
Yeah.
As in a tunic made of tinsel?
Yeah, tinsel tunic.
What don't you understand about that?
Yeah, I duh.
You haven't seen a tinsel tunic before?
Are they like a, like a, like, are they gonna dance to Charleston?
What is this, this tunic?
Did you ask her?
I love your tunic.
I would love to know where you got such a flashy piece of fashion.
Well, that's an interesting story.
You see, when I was younger, I wanted to train large cats in the circus, but I just couldn't seem to make it work.
You know, the cats were bigger than me, they wanted to eat me, they never respected me, so I wasn't able to complete that, but I liked the outfit and the whip.
She kind of like flings it in the air a little bit.
So here I am.
While this is going on, can Gunther make sure he's keeping an eye on the Baron?
Make me a perception check.
Yeah, spoiler.
Baron's gone.
The tinsel distracted us as two shiny.
Just a little shimmy and just you can't help but look that direction.
Nanny, I knew you would ask about the tinsel turning.
You want it for yourself, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
Roll the date.
Yeah, you turn around to look, and the baron seems to be making a break for the door to the west.
Oh, can I jump to pursue?
Or like leap to pursue or grab?
Yeah.
What do you want to do?
You just want to like jump and try to make a grapple?
Yeah, how far away are they?
She hasn't made it that far yet.
We'll say she's five, ten feet away.
Use your tongue.
Use your tongue.
Well, that doesn't have that great of a strength.
Don't use your tongue.
I will go for
an attack
for it to be non-lethal.
Does it have to be melee then?
Yeah, a melee attack.
Non-lethal.
Can I do that?
Yeah, roll it.
Hey, you're the boss.
I'm just here to tell a story.
That's a 13.
I don't have that open.
I think that I'm pretty sure that's a hit that we don't see.
Yeah, I think 12.
was hitting last time you were in combat.
Yeah, that's a hit.
I would also then like to use a superiority dice, die,
to make it a trip attack.
Ooh, sure.
And just to like paint a picture for the audience, like what weapon or like, how are you attacking?
What does that look like?
So, Gunther turns, sees them, basically leaps forward,
whacks basically with the back of the
head with
the non-stabby part of his sword and then while
while the baron is like
wobbly then
swings because gunther has long legs swings around to make a trip with uh his legs nice and so just you said sword i want to be clear it's a rapier so it's like instead of poking like you normally do with a rapier you just like kind of hit it with the yeah the the dull side yeah do rapiers have much of a dull side well they have knights of the guard mine does it's like the princess bride you know i think like almost like toothpicks.
They're like long and thin and pointy.
Yeah,
roll your damage venture if you didn't already.
That is a 10 for damage.
And then for my superiority die on tripping, when you hit with the weapon attack, you spend one superiority die to add the total to the damage roll.
And if the target is larger, smaller, it must make a strength saving throw of DC14 on a failure.
They are prone.
So that's an extra eight.
D8.
I'm going to roll.
She is large.
I'm going to go ahead and make that strength saving throw.
She's got a plus five on it.
Dang.
That's a total for 17 damage.
I rolled a 24 on the save.
Dang.
But it doesn't matter because 17 damage plops her back down.
Unconscious on the ground.
Oh, wow.
Dogpile!
Jumps on top and secures her with more rope.
The orc kind of takes a sip from her
rum and says, I don't know how I feel about that.
I take Gigi over to the door that is the exit door, and I kind of pull him with his leash, and he's holding the axe still.
And I say, Giggy, you watch her.
You watch her.
Make a roll.
I rolled an eight.
I would like to think that Giggy keeps following you around wherever you go, Natty.
The more violent version of that is, Giggy just decapitates the baron.
Oh, I should have done that.
Giggy!
Hey, Stiggy Dragon, your favorite Mortalian private here to talk to you about your most important mission yet, your finances.
That's right, we've all had those headaches you get while trying to make progress with your finances, whether it's overdraft fees, missed paybits, or wishing you had more ways to save.
Today's sponsor, Chime, understands that every dollar counts.
When you set up direct deposit through Chibe, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.
Learn more at chime.com slash dragon.
Chime is banking done right.
You can open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees, and with qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.
To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion.
That's right, $30 billion with a B.
And look, I wish I had started using Chime sooner.
Chime has tools for daily balance updates and real-time transaction alerts to help you shape your spending habits and get on top of your financial goals.
Plus, the convenience of having access to 47,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide and 24-7 customer support really comes in handy.
Work on your financial goals through Chime Today.
Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash dragon.
That's chime.com slash dragon.
Chime feels like progress.
Chime is a financial technology company.
Not a bank, banking services, and debit card provided by the Bankwork Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA.
Members FDIC, Spot Me eligibility requirements, and overdraft limits apply.
Timing depends on submission payment file.
Fees apply at out of network ATMs, bank ranking and number of ATMs, according to US News and World Report 2023.
Chime checking account required.
Chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.
Botox, onobotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start.
It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month.
It prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.
Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor.
Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms.
Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.
Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk.
Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection side pain, fatigue, and and headache.
Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness.
Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection.
Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.
Why wait?
Ask your doctor, visit BotoxchronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.
CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships.
Instead, it's shorthand for Customer Rage Machine.
Your CRM can't explain why a customer's package took five detours, reboot your inner piece, and scream into a pillow.
It's okay.
On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better.
AI agents don't just track issues, they resolve them, transforming the entire customer experience.
So breathe in and breathe out.
Bad CRM was then.
This is ServiceNow.
I was really hoping that the two NPCs were going to keep you guys distracted and the Baron was going to be able to make a break out of here without you guys realizing.
So curse you, Chris.
Way to go, Gunther.
Are we able to carry the Baron back to like the leather table?
Table.
The leather table?
You could.
The Baron is large.
So I don't think you specifically could, Gunther, but a couple of you might be able to together.
I need help.
I will help.
At this point, some Grelp begin walking in from that southern door as well.
They've got silver ore with them, and they begin approaching the refinery to begin smelting silver, to begin operating the machinery that's in that room.
Do they even look at us at all?
It seems like they're focused on their task at hand.
And they don't care about the baron either?
It just seems like they're just carrying the silver ore and going up to the smeltery.
Could Gunther, who's knowledgeable with smithing, go up, and he's already also has the belt like he's been smithing,
go up to the melted ore, nod at the guelp or whatever they are and get some silver
and then go back to the baron and like use the metal to like pour over some metal to like smelt the handcuffs some like crude handcuffs what would you mold them into um so i'm imagining if the if the baron's hands were like what is the baron wearing tinsel dress
She's in a dress version of the tunic.
She's wearing that petrified wooden armor.
Well, yeah, I think think I would take
some metal from the unsmelted and kind of just like, yeah, I don't know.
I have that also that stick that melts metal and just trying to create like some sort of metal bonds that could hold them onto the table.
You can try.
You don't necessarily have like a mole to pour that metal into, like, to shape it.
It might hurt them.
Right.
Do we want to hurt them?
Can Tov go over to the schmelter and make a semi-automatic rifle in a supercomputer?
I am facing you, Twelve.
I think you could do it.
I think I could do this.
Yeah, you don't know until you try, right?
I'm just gonna wing it, though.
I mean,
I have a proficiency in smithing tools.
Right, but do you understand what I'm saying?
Like, when you want to make something, you have to have a mole to shape it.
Like, are you just gonna pour the silver around the baron's wrists and let it cool like that?
It's cost of, like, components and pieces.
They have their wood armor, so I'm just gonna like pour it over it so it all solidifies over the armor so that they are like bound together, but it's not necessarily like melting their skin.
I see.
All right, yeah, so you get some molten silver and pour it over the armor portion of the baron, the petrified wooden armor, to try to fashion restraints.
Make a.
What kind of check would that be for that kind of efficiency, do you think, Chris?
Do you have something in mind you could roll for that?
Sleight of hand?
I don't know.
Yeah, let's call it sleight of hand, for lack of a better thing.
21.
Yeah, you manage to hold the liquid hot metal and pour it over the petrified wooden armor and it begins
sizzling a little bit and cooling down over the armor and as it does so the armor bursts into flames.
Oopsies.
And it very quickly spreads over the rest of the wooden armor, igniting the baron in fire.
Cool, very cool.
No, it is hot.
We need to put it out.
Does Toll see any buckets of water or anything to extinguish this?
Or sand.
She might be resistant to fire damage.
Possibly, but they are on their last leg, like about to die, and this could be the thing that puts them over.
I wish I'd looked through my inventory before I came up with this stupid plan.
But anyway, go on.
Yeah, you find a small bucket, Tolv, of water that you think might be for quenching hot metal.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go quench that hot fire.
Put it out.
Yeah, you toss the bucket of water onto the fire and extinguish it, but the baron lies there unmoving.
Are they dead?
Make a medicine check.
Okay.
Dr.
Toll reporting for duty.
That's an 18.
Oh my god.
Where did you go to medical school?
Oh,
the
classic university of
Scarvord.
Oh,
Scarvard.
You must have learned a lot at Garvard because you can tell that the Baron is no more.
Great.
Yeah.
While on the ship,
Tollv was a certified rope doctor.
Oh, right.
What a callback.
Good callback.
I also thought he said Scarvard, and I thought that was very funny.
I did, but we're going to just go with Garvard because...
Oh,
it's fine.
They're dead.
Who cares where you went to school at this point?
The orc and the gnome look at each other and say, well, now we really need to figure out who's in charge.
They both begin arguing again about who's in charge.
You don't know the first thing about management.
What are you targeting about?
If you were the leader, you were listening about management leader.
like i i'm pre-existing as a
bad
it is me they ignore you gunther okay natty grabs doug hello while everything that gunther and toll are doing is happening quick quick oh no it's
you guys you guys are having your adventure i'm gonna i'm gonna have a separate adventure i'm grabbing doug this is background noises
that's fine oh no
i grab doug over to the orc and the the gnome.
So the orc and the gnome are not dressed in any sort of official looking garb and they are not dressed the same.
No, they're not dressed the same at all.
Make an insight check for me, Naddy.
Five check.
Is it possible, could I also do a check to see if like this tensile could have been made out of the silver that they've mined?
Like is that something that is a material that could have been made from silver?
Interesting.
I'll give that one to you, Doug, without a check, just because you're a battlesmith and just because of Doug's tinkering nature.
Yeah.
This does not look like it's made out of silver or that it was manufactured here at this facility.
Okay.
Dirty 20 on inside check.
Okay.
There's something about the orc that strikes you familiar.
It's something about the way that she carries herself or the way that she talks.
It reminds you very much of your training during basic training.
Almost like she's familiar with the Mortalian.
And remind me, one was named Murphy.
Who's Murphyn?
Murphyn was the gnome.
Look at you.
Good job.
Do you take an inspiration die, Barbara?
I already have one.
Thank you, Barbara.
And we don't have a name of the orc.
No, I don't think anyone's asked for the orc name yet.
How do y'all?
They pause their heated argument and both turn and look at you.
They seem angry, not at you necessarily, but with each other.
I'm Natty.
This is my buddy, Doug.
I heard your name is Murphy.
What's y'all's name?
And points to the orc.
Murphy does not allow the orc to answer and instead interjects and says, That's Kiba.
Kiba.
Kiba.
Murphy and Kiba, I'd be so curious, how do y'all find yourselves down here in this silver mine coming into this room?
They both at the same time almost answer the exact same thing.
I'm in charge of silver production here.
Oh.
Kiba, what is it that you're wearing?
She looks at herself like, oh, these are badger pauldrons.
What a badger pauldrons.
Are the pauldrons that are on her shoulder, are they shaped like the face of badgers?
Yeah, they're like, pauldrons are like a piece of armor that go on the shoulders, and it's like they look almost kind of like badgers.
Okay, they're like very decorative.
I've never heard the word pauldrons until today.
I realized that.
I was like, oh, there may be a misunderstanding here.
Let's
expand on what this is.
Warcraft really prepared me for DD a lot.
I'm gonna say, this is expanding my vocabulary more than I heard that possible.
Lots of DD as a teenager and lots of World of Warcraft in my early 20s.
Kiba continues and says, Yeah, our friend Tane and Grego told us about this job, so we came down here.
Oh, you guys associated with uh
Reggie?
Reggie?
Oh, we know Reggie.
You all met him?
Yeah.
What's y'all's check on Reggie?
Oh, we're all a part of Chase Chain, but Reggie takes it a little too far.
Well, it seems like he's trying to take a different path with his work, if you know what I mean.
We know Hanno and Grego.
We do.
Why do we know Hanno and Grego?
They were possessed gardeners.
We met them upstairs with the...
Yeah, the Baron.
They were the possessed gardeners, yeah.
They might not be with us anymore, kind of like the Baron.
Well, that's your job, to make sure the Baron stays with us.
while this is going on gunther and and toll are realizing the baron is dead is the baron dead yes the baron is no more jesus past the medicine check yeah and frantically coming up with a weakened to bernie style methodology of
keeping the baron alive and well i'll let you all continue work on that Yeah, I'll get in here and stick my hand in here.
Can you go smelt a pair of sunglasses?
Yes, yes, yes.
You know, my buddy here, Doug, and I, we've been actually looking to join a faction.
We're kind of factionless right now, you know, when you find yourself in that kind of situation.
And I've heard a little bit about the chase chain.
Now, I know y'all love them silver, and that's why you're down here doing your job.
You guys also are all about the wood.
Are you guys the reason why all that pesky wood was cleared upstairs on the ground floor?
I'm referring to the trees being cut down.
Yeah.
It's not our purview, but yes, the chase chain did handle all that.
I mean, we handle all the silver down here.
Oh, okay.
Do you know what like the big overall plan is to do with all this silver?
Because them grabs, they're busy.
Make a
persuasion check for me, because I feel like this is something she wouldn't necessarily offer up.
18.
Wow, look at you.
Naddy's just so charismatic.
That's why I have those modifiers.
Murphy begins answering, but then Kiba puts her hand over Murphy's mouth and continues answering.
Okay.
Well, we have to smelt the silver as offerings.
To the Pathfinder.
She has a quizzical look on her face and says...
To the wind trader.
And the wind tweeted the one who likes the silver.
Oh, that's right.
That's right, Doug.
Thank you.
That guy, he was all about the silver.
Silver eyes.
Weird guy.
Yeah, very weird.
Do you guys also, I guess, like worship the wind trader?
Like, is he your god?
I'll tell you what, Doug, you make me a persuasion check as well.
It's not gonna go well.
It's gonna go great.
Seven.
That's a good seven.
Murphy bites Kiba's hand so that Kiba pulls it away and yelps in pain.
And Murphy says, We just have a deal with the wind trader.
What kind of deal?
A deal.
Murphy kind of like squints and like looks at you a little suspiciously, Doug.
Do you guys know the Baron over there?
Oh!
Both Gunther and Tolf make me performance checks.
You guys also have to be doing a Scottish accent, just so you know.
Yeah,
what does the Baron sound like?
Scottish.
It's a Scottish accent.
Bosh.
Yeah.
Which is apparently Scottish.
Scottish.
Man, I can't even...
I can't even summon this.
That's...
No, that's...
Alright.
Do mud.
Do mud.
14.
18.
Oh.
Guthrie's having his t-shirt.
What was the question that you just said?
So I know what to answer.
I already forgot.
I said, do y'all know the Baron over there and you guys started turning into puppeteers.
My lads good to see you again
we're killing it we're doing so good yes we are
dying
pretend they are not
how'd that did how'd that go gus um i'm gonna make insight checks it was an 18 come on no no your roll was good but i still just have to roll some insight checks on my side uh one and a seven i think we got it goonther
we go to high-five each other but it's just a clap in the Baron's hands.
Kiba and Murphy look at each other and look at you, and you see Kiba put the stopper in her bottle of rum and stash it in her pack.
Uh-oh.
He's getting serious over there.
Is Kiba gonna answer me?
Oh, sorry, I was so caught up with the performance, I forgot about your questions.
It worked on Gus.
Yeah, it worked on me.
It was really good.
The Baron, well, she's got her own deal.
She works to us here, but she seems really focused on finding the Pathfinder and keeps wanting to head out to enderge bay you can ask her about that i didn't know where we're from yeah yes fort andridge was where we were yeah you all are from fort endridge you are supposed to head out to endridge bay oh oh we're heading vest to the endridge bay correct and speaking speaking of oh my god
deal sounds like mr bean speaking of our deal
I'd like to renegotiate what we're we offering you.
I do love how we have someone in this party who can do good persuasion checks and performance, but Gunther jumps in.
This is what we got.
You're not in the body of the...
Yeah, this is what you work with what you're given.
Gunther, make me a performance check at disadvantage because that was not a great Scottish accent.
What?
You don't think so?
I don't think so.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
If you're Scottish, get in the comments and let us know what you think.
That's a That's a five and a seven.
If I use my inspiration die, does it just replace one of them?
Yeah, it would replace one of them.
So it's going to be bad no matter what.
Yeah.
I bit my tongue.
They look at the Baron and kind of ignore that question.
Instead, refocus their attention back on Natty and Doug.
Well, I'm all out of inquiries.
Doug, you got questions?
Yeah, I have a lot of questions, actually.
Kiba, I can't help but feel that you feel familiar.
Have we met you before?
Kiba looks very closely and very intently at you, Doug, like examining your face, and says, Nope, can't say I have, at least I don't think I have.
I don't really know many bugbears.
Where were you before you started walking here?
Make an insight check.
23.
You see, Kiba like tense up a little bit.
Seeming like she doesn't like that question.
Oh, I wandered around for a bit before finding the chase chain.
I grabbed Giggy and I hold Giggy up to Kiba and I let Giggy smell her.
Oh, yeah, Giggy gets up in there real close to Kiba.
Yeah.
Hey, Gigi, do we know her?
Make a roll for Giggy here.
Giggy don't forget smells.
16.
Give me this one.
How does Giggy communicate with you exactly?
Well, you know how, like, when toddlers are talking in like their broken garble stuff, but usually the parent is the one who can translate it because you just, you hear him so much doing that stuff, you kind of figure it out.
That's me and Giggy.
It's not perfect, but it's pretty good.
You think Giggy mentioned something about Mortalian?
Okay, where's Private Parts?
I would assume over there, because Private Parts was behind Gunther, so I assume Private Parts is over there with the whole Baron shenanigans.
And I make the Baron salute Private Parts.
That's confusing for so many reasons.
Parts, get your butt over here.
Parts comes running over.
Oh, does Parks recognize Kiba?
That's what I'm going for.
Yes.
Whoa.
Parts, do you know Kiba?
Parts looks at Kiba and then begins looking down at his notes, kind of like going through them, and says, Kiba, Bucky.
Oh, I thought you went in by A.
Kiba looks visibly uncomfortable.
Yeah, I may have spent some time in the Mortalian in the past.
I told you I was back by this.
You were part of the Mortalian Dutch crazy who would do such a thing?
Barbs looking around like a shifty person.
That's where you got to say Zevink Wink.
So you left the Mortalian.
You joined up with the Chase chain.
Is that the story?
Make a persuasion check.
17.
Kiba lets out a long sigh and says,
I saw many battles and was witnessed to and performed many terrible things by my own hand.
But one day I saw an opportunity.
My commanding officers couldn't find me and everyone thought I was dead.
So why not take advantage of that?
The Baron nods knowingly.
And then rubs their chin with her hand.
She's very interested.
At this point, Natty is trying to obscure vision of the Baron with her wig as much as possible.
Well, I'm running out of inquiries and understanding of what we're supposed to do down here.
The Baron is dead.
I'm saying this in John's voice.
You guys understand I'm meta-talking.
Speaking of meta-talk, I just want to point something out here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not to feel like you got railroaded here, but there's one vulnerability listed on the character sheet for the Baron, and it's vulnerable to fire.
Oh, really?
Oh, I trust you, Gus.
As soon as one of our party was like, I'm going to pour molten silver on a living person, I was like, okay, this will end well.
So just putting that out there.
Usually when you heat metals up enough to be liquid, they're safe to put on biological organisms.
At least we still have a body to animate.
That's what a sociopath says.
I think I'm necromancer, but who knows?
Same thing.
Yeah.
Well, we kind of got stuck down here against our wishes.
We were wandering around doing some business upstairs, and then we fell in a hole that we weren't even planning on falling into, and then we came across the barren, and we weren't even trying to come across the barren.
and so we're kind of like down here without without any direction we met the wind trader that that guy was a was a whole character and so we ain't got really a problem with the chase chain and they're not really part of our uh objective at this point i'm saying this to everybody i guess basically
to oh toll's in charge yeah
yeah
I wave with the baron's arm.
Tolv, what are we gonna do?
Okay, here's the thing.
I'm gonna drop the baron, and I'm gonna walk over and be like, hello, Murphy and Kiba, good to see you.
So, you know how the Baron was looking for the Pathfinder?
They told you about that, right?
Baron nods.
Right, Baron, you know what I'm talking about.
Miss.
Nope, nope,
do Murphy and Kiba know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, they mentioned it themselves.
That the Baron was looking for the Pathfinder.
Okay, do you guys have any information on that?
Did they have any leads?
Murphy will answer.
No, no.
That's the Baron's thing.
We were just down here smelting silver.
Okay, got you.
So, like, you could ask her.
She's right over there.
Oh, no, she's very sleepy.
Right, right, Baron.
By the way, I rolled a dice because I wanted to check to see what Giggy was doing at this point.
Because I had in my head positive and negatively doing.
I rolled a gnat one.
Giggy is chewing on the Baron's foot.
I just want to make that very clear now, okay?
Love it.
Giggy knows what dead is.
Murphy also says, Yeah, I don't know about the Pathfinder necessarily, but the Baron kept talking about getting revenge against someone in Endridge Bay.
Didn't she name any names?
I don't know.
Some council.
The council of conversation?
That's her thing.
Council of Barbarians.
Oh, no, no, the council of barbarians never do anything wrong.
My lips are sealed.
Today.
Okay, so Murphy and Kiba, let's share information.
How can we help you if you can help us?
Because we're...
we might have been aligned in our goals to get to Indridge Bay, unlike the Baron.
And so maybe we can help each other out.
You know, we need to get out of there, but this cave system, it's so oh, it's so winding and winding, and there's so many things.
So we're trying to get over there.
So like, how could you point us in the right direction?
Kiba would answer, points to the western exit, and goes.
Go out that door and keep heading west.
You'll end up at the next level above and head up from there.
Murphy, I gotta ask, or maybe not Mofin, actually.
I don't want I'll let Kiva speak for herself.
Why did you leave the Mortalian?
Like, what was wrong with it?
You all look like you're pretty fresh in it, but battle and war can be very violent and ugly.
And I'd had enough of it.
I hear that.
I mean, we should probably, I don't know if we have any more information.
They don't seem to know where the Pathfinder is.
We're behind on our mission to get to Indridge Bay.
We got parts.
I think we should get out of here because we're kind of in a bee's nest.
What would Tol say about that?
Guys, I think we got the information we need.
We're running a little behind on our, you know, Vink-Vink appointment, you know?
Private parts, you're doing good, right?
Private?
He's nodding and making notes.
Keeping notes.
Okay, great.
We're gonna head out of here.
We're gonna go to the vest exit.
Keep it, Murphy,
you wanna come with?
Um, no, we've had enough.
We're pretty content down here.
Okay, great.
You live a prosperous, happy life, and I hope you avoid all war and combat.
That'd be nice.
Sounds like a good life.
Before we leave the room, could Doug just look around and see if there's anything like weapons or supplies or anything like that around this room?
I don't know if I can do this while still attached.
Also, I wanted to look into the Baron and see if they had anything.
Sure, I'll deal with Barbara first and then Chris.
Uh, Barbara, make me an investigation check.
I think we may have rolled this last week, but let's do it again just to be safe.
I'm gonna use my inspiration die because that was an 8.
Okay, 19.
No, there doesn't seem to really be of anything that you can use.
It seems like this is a room primarily for smelting.
There's the bloomery, which is the conical chimney made of clay and the silver slag, and that seems to be the feature dominating this room.
Okay.
Well, nothing to see here, boys.
Really empty room.
Unfortunate.
Make me an investigation check as well.
Since I've been inside of the baron for the last like 10 minutes, do I have an advantage?
What do you mean inside?
Inside of their armor, like pretending to be...
I thought you've just been holding them up.
Yeah, I thought you were weakened at Burning.
Maybe we've seen different movies.
I guess in my mind, Gunther's small enough, he could have stuck his feet in some of the...
Anyway, investigation.
12.
She doesn't really have anything.
It seems like the things that she had were...
Her armor, of course, which is now singed and burnt,
as well as she had that axe, which flew out of her hands, and I think Giggy still has it, as far as I know.
Owns.
The word you're looking for is owns.
Owns.
Perfectly crafted pair of silver handcuffs.
Ooh.
I do love the idea in the visual of Gunther actually wearing the Baron-like skin and just like
painting her.
That's weird.
All right.
Are we skedaddling?
Yeah, I think we gotta get going.
Okay.
Look away.
Look away.
Yeah, that's a way to get us all to look at you.
No, no, no.
Can I gesturing to the other two?
Our little friends.
I want to take the head of the baron.
You want to take a head?
Yes.
You tell that to the two people as you tell them to look away?
No, no, to my group.
Why?
It's intimidation for later.
I think that's a way to get people to kind of pay too much attention to us if we're gonna go around carrying decapitated heads.
Do you have a place to put it away or what are you planning on doing with it?
Like attach it to your belt?
What if I meet you in the middle and I say, let's just cut off a horn and call it a day?
That'll do.
Okay, that's like, you know, proof of defeat, and we could use that as leverage.
That's good thinking, Gunther.
I nudge private parts and I say, that's some good leadership right there, wasn't it?
Vink, vink.
Stop saying vink, vink.
He nods very encouragingly.
Okay, you make sure you might make a note of that from my boy Tov.
Yeah, so we cut off the horns.
Two or one?
Two and one.
I think one will do.
Okay, just one.
Okay, yeah.
You have a horn from the Baron.
Great.
Kiba and Murphyn, just turn around and leave the room.
Okay.
Okay.
They clearly don't care.
Yeah.
As we're leaving, Natty whispers something to the dead Baron before we're going.
Oh, do we hear it?
No.
I kind of want to roll to hear, honestly.
You know, I'm very curious now.
Can I give a little roll?
Yeah, can we roll it here?
Vustago?
I would say, if you're curious about that, first make a perception check to see if you even see that.
That's a 12.
11.
I'm gonna say those aren't good enough.
You wouldn't have noticed.
They're all okay, okay.
I'm gonna notice.
22.
Oh, my God!
That doesn't notice.
So then make an investigation check, Doug, to see if you hear it.
I wonder what Nanny's doing over there.
What is Naddy doing?
Oh, it's only a 12.
I don't think I hear anything.
You hear it perfectly.
Oh, I like your gait slightly cutting out of your microphone.
I heard, I heard pss.
It just looked like you were kissing your mic a bunch.
Twice.
Naddy kissing the baron's ear.
Weird.
Okay.
All right, Captain Tove.
After you, sergeant.
Here we go.
This podcast is supported by Progressive, a leader in RV Insurance.
RVs are for sharing adventures with family, friends, and even your pets.
So if you bring your cats and dogs along for the ride, you'll want Progressive RV Insurance.
They protect your cats and dogs like family by offering up to $1,000 in optional coverage for vet bills in case of an RV accident, making it a great companion for the responsible pet owner who loves to travel.
See Progressive's other benefits and more when you quote RV Insurance at Progressive.com today.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, pet injuries, and additional coverage and subject to policy terms.
There's only one place where history, culture, and adventure meet on the National Mall.
Where museum days turn to electric lights.
Where riverside sunrises glow and monuments shine in moonlight.
Where there's something new for everyone to discover.
There's only one DC.
Visit Washington.org to plan your trip.
Say hello to the next generation of Zendesk AI agents.
Built to deliver resolutions for everyone.
Zendesk AI agents easily deploy in minutes, not months, to resolve 30% of customer and employee interactions on day one, quickly turning monotonous tasks into autonomous solutions.
Loved by over 10,000 companies, Zendesk AI makes service teams more efficient, businesses run better, and your customers happier.
That's the Zendesk AI effect.
Find out more at Zendesk.com.
Walking to the west exit, the one that Keeben Murphy told us about.
All right.
You exit out the door, the western part of the room and you find yourself back in that hallway you were previously in that dead ended in the door that was locked and had no latch and you realize you're coming out from the other side of that.
Oh, so we've gone full circle.
Yeah, we went out the exit.
Were there any unexplored routes that we took based on you guys' maps?
There was a west door that we didn't take, right, guys?
Correct.
And you're looking at it right now, actually.
If you continue down this hallway, it branches off to the south, which is where the long hallway with that mural of the coins.
And then directly in front of you is another door heading west that I do not believe you guys went through.
Let's try that then.
Yeah, what does that door look like?
Do you think we should be given the winch way to any more silver so you could give us more of that guiding wind for this journey or anything?
Is our guiding wind with us still anymore?
Or did it put Gunther closes his eyes?
Sure, it seems to be pushing you to the west.
Okay, all right.
Still with us?
Still here.
Thank you.
It's just an iron door.
Seems rather nondescript.
Okay, I'm gonna
give it a little open.
You open up the door, and before you is a decently sized room, pretty good size.
It's dimly lit with flickering lamps.
The air seems to be dusty, and the cave walls are shiny.
And inside, you see a few grilt mining on walls and in the ceiling.
Actually, you see Keba and Murphyn in here.
God, we just followed them.
This is so awkward.
How did they beat us?
They left before you all did.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I was gonna have a chat with the gang and maybe just welcome back.
Hey, everybody, give a small little round of applause to Private Parks for surviving Zabarin.
Good job, Private.
Wow.
Doug starts clapping.
Yeah.
He's extremely sweaty.
Okay, we gotta get upstairs.
We gotta get to the ground floor.
If you guys want to do like a quick search through this room, but we gotta keep going vest, I think.
Yeah, Keepa and Murphy see you all walk in, and they remember you asked how to get out of here, and they both kind of point to the west exit out of this room.
This is awkward.
You know, when you're like walking with someone and you're like, okay, I'll see you later.
And then you like walk the same direction?
Aw, I feel like it just happened.
I hate when I'm leaving the Chili's to go to my, you know, horse and buggy.
And then I say, goodbye, and then I hug someone, and then we just walked in the same direction.
This is so stupid.
And you had a make labio, like, looking for something in your pack, and you're like, okay, I'll see you later.
Oh, my shoes untied.
Uh-oh.
Okay, you go on.
Horse and buggy?
Hello, this is my first time meeting you, obviously.
Oh, God.
As we know.
Oh, God.
Could Doug do a quick scan around the room as we're walking through it?
Tolvit also.
If you want to do that, make an investigation check.
Tolf saying horse and buggy just tickled me.
I don't know why.
Sounds like he's in a production of Oklahoma or something.
13 for Doug.
Nothing particular stands out to either of you.
You know, there's a few yellowish-hooded lamps hanging around the cavern.
The cave walls are kind of shiny with veins of silver that the grill seem to be hard at work mining.
And, you know, you see Kiba and Murphy still arguing over who's in charge.
And out of here, there's there's an exit path to the west and one to the south, as well as the iron door to the east you came in.
Where does the wind?
I think it was west, right?
That's where they were telling us to continue to go.
Yeah, they were pointing to the west, Murphyn and Kiba.
You guys want to keep going west?
Oh, thank you.
You're running this party.
Yeah, you're in charge.
You're the leader.
I'm just trying to be political.
I'm just trying to be nice.
All right, let's go fast.
Keep going.
Politically fan of democracy.
Hello, Mervyn Kiba.
Good to see you again, Murphy and Kiba.
Pleasure to meet you for the first time.
No, this is
this is you've seen them before go guther uh i have a question while we're walking can i can i ask uh uh private parts something go ahead what is the worst thing that you have seen in the in our me uh probably you lighting the barret on fire and killing her
in more of a past not of today
maybe when our mess hall was on fire and you all failed to put it out
Why did you join our me?
It's a proud tradition in my family.
He seems to beam at that.
But why are we fighting?
You and I aren't fighting.
No.
I think this conversation is getting deeper than what Gus was prepared for.
Yeah, I thought it was a question.
Now we're having like a better longer conversation.
Yeah, let's just keep things moving along.
As we pass by the Grelps, Natty goes, y'all should unionize.
You all continue to the west, and it seems like it's pretty rocky out of this exit, almost like maybe the mine had partially collapsed and is now cleared out.
But you continue your way to the west, and once you exit the room, you find yourself in a long passageway, and you recognize it as the passageway you initially dropped down into from the upper level.
Is this the room where the villagers found us and told, talk to them?
They're one level up from here.
Okay.
This is what we dropped down into
to get away from them.
Yeah, it's almost like a T intersection of two long passageways.
The air's dusty.
The cave walls are shiny.
There was an unlit torch here, but I think Gunther took it, didn't didn't light it, but just like held on to it.
And then to the west, there's a path that smells of fresh air.
You came from the east, and then down to the south is that narrow crawl space that Doug went through where you eventually found the wind trader.
Oh, and there's a hole above you in the ceiling that you all dropped down into.
But we never went west to west, though, right?
Correct.
Okay, and you said it smells good there.
It's like fresh air.
Fresh air.
Fresh air smells like the sea.
Could be Yudridge Bay.
Let's keep going, Vest guys.
Follow your nose.
Yeah, Tove bravely leads the way west.
Oh, bravery.
The shoulders and the glutes into it.
It is brave to walk with such stupidity.
It's brave to walk like that in a dungeon without looking for traps.
Tov steps on a pressure plate and the ground explodes.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
You all continue to the west, and eventually, this path winds and leads back out to the surface level.
And you find yourself back out on the ground level.
There any like villagers or anything around us like with pitchforks?
You see some people here from the ruins of Raisine on the surface looking down into the hole that you had previously fallen into like several episodes ago talking with more citizens of the ruins of Raisine down there and they seem to be trying to coordinate getting the silver and the lumber back out to the surface.
Should we like avoid them, do you think?
Because they were kind of razzed at us last time and I kind of gave I gave Cobb some direction on just taking some of this stuff.
Yeah, I think we should cut our losses and head head west.
I think we've had plenty of adventure here for Private Paris to be taking some notes for us.
Doug, how are you feeling?
What's the vibe?
We could check back in with Colb or Cobb.
I know, I think we're I think we've done here.
It seems like I think it's time to move on.
You know, we'll remember these people fondly.
I've taken plenty of notes of all the people we met, what they were wearing, everything like that.
So if we do see them again, Doug will remember.
We will see them at reunion.
Yeah, I want to get a quick check.
How is everybody feeling?
Spell slots, HP, and such.
You think we should take like a long rest?
I don't know what those things are.
You keep saying.
How are you?
How are your magic juices?
You topped up there, Naddy.
You need to refill?
Hmm?
I'm doing fine.
I'm doing fine.
I think if we can find a spot that is secret, we would be prudent to take a short break.
Doug, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling pretty good.
But, you know, if the team wants to take a break, that's the team play-off.
Gus, how are we doing on time?
Like, we had, what was it, three days to get to Indigen Bay?
Look at you.
Yeah, you had three days.
In game time, let's say roughly 16 hours.
You've gone through like two shifts and you're entering like the third portion of the first day.
So we haven't slept in 16 hours.
No, and in fact, I was going to bring that up in a bit.
I was going to let you all figure out what you're doing.
If necessary, I was going to bring that up.
Maybe we should take a little sleep.
I have a question.
In a meta world, like, do we get sleep deprived if we don't sleep?
I was going to explain that if we got to that point, but yeah, there would be, you know, you can continue and you can push yourself.
There are, there can be some downsides to continuing, like exhaustion, for example.
Okay.
Then I say once we get past the village people from Raisine and find a nice little spot.
Is that what you all are doing, just to clarify?
Yeah, I think we didn't want to re-engage with them.
Yeah.
Okay.
I agree.
As you all are talking amongst yourselves, figuring out what to do, you hear a voice call out,
You found my axe.
Oh, Pie La Mode.
Away, Pie.
Giggy looks around, has no idea what you're talking about.
You all look up and turn around, and you see Pie A.
La Mode walking straight towards you for.
Hello!
Yes, the axe that you were looking for.
Yeah, I thought you all abandoned me there after you freed me.
You took off so quickly.
Dolph?
Oh, you know, our social batteries are a little running dry, but we couldn't forget you, Pie A.
La Mode.
So, yeah, here is your axe giggy go ahead and give the nice lady the axe deagle deagle deagle come on giggie could gunther try and tickle the giggy the child
well i'm i'm rolling for two different things right here if that's you guys are doing first toll was asking okay i rolled a two giggy ain't complying okay well okay can gunther tickle to like release the axe dinatic chimes in i wouldn't do that gunther he don't respond too well to tickles yeah i think i've already done it though okay You know what I mean?
Like, I love the commitment.
Yeah, I rolled another two.
Giggy attacks, Gunther.
Oh, my gosh.
Get him.
So I need to roll for attack.
Okay.
Would Giggy swing the axe or would Giggy just start chomping on Gunther and then drop the axe?
Well, because Giggy's attack is a claw, so I think Giggy would then have to use the axe.
Okay, so then we said it would be with disadvantage.
That's how we had to roll on the barrel because it was so heavy and difficult to pick up.
Well, that's a nat 20.
Do you have to roll again if you're at disadvantage?
You're at disadvantage, so yeah, you do.
Because you take the lower roll.
What modifier did we give the attack?
I think we just rolled it and then we decided to see.
I'll look it up.
Okay, that's a 16.
So it's a nat 20 and a 16.
That's probably a hit.
What's your armor class gun through?
Oh, it's a 17.
Oh, okay.
Let me.
I just saw Chris wink.
No, no, it really is.
Okay.
Gigi, I think, actually has no modifier because Gigi is not proficient in any weapon usage, I would imagine.
So there would be no modifier to that.
Yeah, Gigi doesn't have that listed on his character sheet at all.
No weapon proficiencies.
So it would just be 16.
Okay.
So yeah, the axe swings around and hits you, but you deflect it, Gunther, kind of knock it out of the way.
It doesn't actually strike you.
I think Gunther would like, because he's more evasive.
He wouldn't deflect it.
He would like flip over or something, you know, like
dodge.
Pai Eila Mote says, oh my, careful with that.
It's very delicate.
What's that?
And she points at you, Naddy.
Is that my Tempest Tinker pickaxe?
Does Natty have a pickaxe?
Who took it?
Did you take it?
Oh, yeah,
you picked up the pickaxe during the fight with the first fight with the Baron, right?
The Tempest Inker?
Oh, yeah.
I do not recall that at all.
He stole it off one of the gardeners, I believe.
It's the one that the head changes into like a breath weapon attack.
I'm going to just believe y'all.
That's what I've chosen to do.
Pie is so good we ran into you because we have so many things to give you.
When Gigi took his swing, could Tolv have nabbed it when he was at the like apex of his swing, like missing?
i'm just trying to grab it from the
the thing the baby make a if you want to try that make a dexterity check to see if you are able to like snatch at it okay
nine
you try to it's just spinning so fast you're not able to grab it this is this is i have to as the father of the group this is exactly how this would go this baby has a knife if the toddler does not want to give you something have fun have fun getting it from them that's how it is naddy hands over the pickaxe i have no quarrel here Oh, thank you.
I've been looking for this for so long.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
After doing Gunther's little flip and seeing Toll not grab the axe, can Gunther attempt to, with his tongue, grab the pickaxe from afar?
Yeah, if that's something you can do, I'll take your word for it.
Yeah, you can use this tongue to grab stuff.
I think it's like a 15-pound strength limit or something like that.
Yeah, go for it.
But what would that be?
Just like a sleight of hand?
You tell me there's not a check for it?
Did we like do any checks with pile mode before to make sure that, like, they're cool?
No.
I don't think so.
I don't know if you've, yeah, really talked to her very much.
I don't think we did either.
Because she was under the imprisonment of Baron.
They were captured within the obelisk.
Yeah.
God, I couldn't think of a word.
So it says you need to make a dexterity or grapple check with it, Gunther.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
I rolled the one.
Nope.
Giggy's got it.
Pa'e Lamode kind of sees the situation and reads the room and says, You know what?
You all saved me.
You gave me the Tempest Thinker back.
Why don't you just drop the woodcutter axe on the way back when you're done?
Doug, you're a bit of an inventor.
Could you, like, you know, I don't know, fashion some sort of cage or something for little Giggy here?
Oh, Natty's looking at you with some pretty rough eyes.
They're not helping.
You do not want me to try and make any sort of handcuffs, all right?
How about uh, you know, Doug has a muddly spirit.
How about Doug holds Giggy for a little bit?
Oh.
And just does some bouncing.
Do you want me to roll to see how if what Giggy does with that?
Yeah, if he lets me pick him up and bounce him on Uncle Doug's knees.
I rolled a 17, which usually means the positive thing happens.
So let's say Giggy lets you pick him up.
He's still holding onto the axe.
More like funkle dog.
Maybe.
Why did I not get that?
Funkle?
Clone, uncle.
Funkle.
Uncle and Uncle.
Okay, there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
As he's holding Giggy, could Doug...
Are there like, would you say like rocks or pebbles around on the ground somewhere?
Yeah.
Could Doug pick one up and use magical tinkering to make a pebble glow a cool like blue color
and like hold it up for Giggy and be like, oh, shiny pebble.
Isn't this cool?
It needs two hands to play with though because it's very delicate.
I feel like this is the kind of thing Giggy would be into, but I don't want to speak on Giggy's behalf.
I mean, Gus, you're part of the people that are holding the wheel, the steering wheel on Gigi.
So,
does
Doug just make a persuasion check, or what do you want to do?
Yeah, make a persuasion check.
I'll tell you what, make a deception check with advantage.
I like that.
Oh, God.
No one can roll a winning roll against this toddler.
I have a terrible modifier on my deception, so I rolled a six and then a five, so it's a six.
I think Giggy's hands grasp even tighter around the
God.
I just want to be very clear because often I know I can be a stick in the mud.
I'm not causing any of this.
I just want to make it very difficult.
This is rule.
This is what happens.
I have done nothing.
Pai Elamote reiterates.
Why don't you all just bring it on the way back?
I'll be fine.
I have a lot of work to do.
I have to reset up my shop.
Well, don't worry, because your ex is in good hands.
And points to Giggy, who's not letting go of it.
I can see that.
Let him have some fun with that.
Was there a reward?
I do not remember.
Now,
no, I'm missing accent.
She says, uh,
my gratitude.
I will cherish it forever.
I'll tell you what.
Since you asked, I'll teach you a little something.
Are you magically inclined?
I believe in the magic, but I am not so.
Well, I'll try and teach you something.
I can teach you a spell.
I shall try.
It's a real handy spell.
It's called animate object.
Count their bows, listening.
Okay.
She goes through the motions and tries to teach you this arcane spell.
Make an arcana check for me, Gunther.
That's probably high with Gunther.
It probably is.
I think he's probably good at that.
No, I rolled a five.
I will use my inspiration die.
The trick is to yell it.
That's how you know he's serious.
That's a nine.
It's good use of inspiration dice.
Yeah.
It seems so foreign to you, Gunther.
But she's like, she seems really enthusiastic about it and and very interested in it.
Can I look at like Doug and be like, Doug, perhaps you are more inclined to learn of these things.
I just don't know if Gunther can like...
Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
Just to be safe, why don't I write it down for you?
You see her dash off.
And then a short time later, she comes back holding a scroll and she hands it to you, Gunther.
This is very kind of you.
Thank you for returning the Tempest Thinker, and I'll see you on the way back with that woodcutter axe.
I'm sorry, I've shamed your teaching.
It's okay.
Before you go, Pie,
when we came into town, I think Yadi said that they needed to talk to you.
Does that ring any sort of bell?
Oh, I should go talk to her.
Do you need us to be around for that?
I know, could it be something important that pertains to us?
Just curious.
Weird question.
No, it's fine.
It's our own issue to deal with.
That's how we found out about Pai.
There was a person named Yadi who was looking for them.
I didn't know if that was something that needed to get full circled.
It was like a thing that could have happened before, and now it's like time's past.
It's gotcha.
Living world.
This is when you go into your quest log and you abandon a quest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you know any safe areas around here for us to set up camp?
Yeah, if you head west a bit, there is a small clump of trees you could set up camp in.
I know travelers like to camp out there.
That sounds like a pretty lush area for a little napski.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Bye-bye.
Don't run into into any more barrens.
I'll try not to.
Careful out there.
You guys wanna head west to the clump of trees?
Yeah,
I feel like overall that was a net positive.
Yeah.
We saved a person.
Met a wind trader.
Yeah, and she got her pickaxe back.
I've shaved my family.
You're fine, Gunther.
Don't worry about it.
Did you just say you shaved your family?
No, they do not have hair.
That's not what I was asking.
I was asking if you said you shaved your family.
No.
While we're walking, can you go there, check for any surprises that might be laying in wait or anything that might be hidden?
Sure.
Actually, what I was going to do, I was going to make the team leader make that check because he's taking points.
So, Tolf, why don't you make me a survival check?
Okay, that'll be
a
that looks like a one.
What a way to phrase it.
It was hidden behind a group of text, so that I was just like, yes, that's a one.
Ah, you all travel for a bit, a couple hours, and as you do so, what was a light drizzle eventually turns into a torrential downpour.
Along the way, you come across a curious set of skeletal remains that appear to be maybe non-humanoid.
Can we investigate the skeletons?
What kind of skeletons are these?
Make a...
Let's call it a survival check, I guess.
Okay.
If you guys want to pitch in with this rule, I wouldn't mind.
18.
It's 10.
I rolled it 18.
Twins.
In that case, Doug and Natty, you both recognize that this is a gnoll skeleton.
In fact, it appears to be carrying a small purse with it.
Hmm.
A knoll skeleton?
Yeah.
G-N-O-L-L.
Could Doug look in the purse?
Yeah, you open up the purse and take a look, and there's five gold pieces in it.
Okay, guys, a gold piece for each of us and two for finders fee.
Fair.
And in fact, Doug, as you're looking at it and pulling out the gold, you see that there's another coin leading down a path to the left.
Another coin?
Piece.
Sorry, gold piece.
Yeah.
Okay, well, first could I distribute each person a gold piece?
Yeah, I get one too, one for each of us.
Yeah.
I said two to find those fees.
Extra for me.
Okay.
I'll use it for the goof eventually.
Is Doug still holding Gigi?
Yes.
Where's Gigi?
With like one arm while he's like looking with the other.
Yeah.
Hey guys, there's a...
There seems to be another gold piece over there, just out in the open, but it seems a little suspicious.
Maybe the skeleton who used to be a knoll was looking for something or collecting gold pieces and got mid-collection.
Yeah, so I don't know if someone wants to maybe like try to reach for the piece and see what happens like from a distance type thing.
Anyone?
Anyone have like a mage hand or something?
Oh, yeah, I do.
I do.
I forgot.
I have it.
I haven't used it.
Use the force.
I'm using the force called my hand.
And I cast mage hand and I pick up the coin.
Yep.
Gunther like kind of hide in the woods while this is happening.
Sure.
Make a stealth check, Gunther.
Yeah, you pick it up and retrieve it, Maddie.
And as you're doing so...
15.
Oh, that's a good roll.
You see, there's another gold coin further down the path to the left on the ground.
Well, I give that gold coin to Giggy.
The one you just got?
Yeah.
Can't carry it with both hands holding that axe.
Oh.
I put it in his mouth.
Yeah.
We'll get that back in two to three minutes.
That's where he keeps all his money.
Mei-chan is 30-feet range.
Can I just go to the next one?
Yeah.
Okay.
I pick up that one and I bring it back to Gigi and I feed it to the Gigi Bank.
So Gigi now has two gold pieces in his mouth.
Well, in his possession.
Oh, gosh.
Don, did you just make a piece of merch that we're going to have to sell in the store now?
The Gigi Bank.
Oh, my.
I love it.
Oh, I didn't even know.
It's like a piggy bank.
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
That was clever.
It's a giggie bank.
Yeah, but it goes in, but the coins never come out.
They never come out.
And it's indestructible.
Yeah, they'll come out in about two hours.
You look further down the path, and you see there's another gold coin even further, more than 30 feet away now at this point.
Okay, Gigi runs after those coins.
Okay, yeah, there's a couple more.
Guys, as team leader, I feel like I have to point out this is so clearly a trap.
I mean, Skellington's a trail of gold.
Gigi keeps following the coins and eating them.
Okay.
I guess Gunther is following discreetly from his hidden spot.
Okay, yeah.
You watch Gigi go, and total going down that path, there were five gold coins.
I don't know if you want to add that for Gigi.
And Gunther, make me a perception check.
Eight.
And you see that at the end of the path, like Gigi doesn't pay any attention to it because, you know, Giggy's preoccupied with the gold.
But you see down at the end of the path, there's what appears to be an abandoned campsite.
Oh.
Convenient.
Appears to be abandoned.
Does it look like recently abandoned or abandoned a long time ago?
Is like the dust of the fire still smoldering or is there any like ash at all where it had been blown away away and covered it with uh you know growth you'll have to get out from your stealth and go out and investigate it if you want to ascertain any further details gunther looks at uh his leader you probably can't see them anymore at this point because you've gone down more than 30 like you're down separated on your own gotcha all right then gunther's gonna move closer and to investigate and okay like still staying out of the out of view but like get closer you can't have it both ways i said like you're gonna have to get out of stealth if you want to come out here and uh and investigate gunther leaves and and goes back to the group.
Okay.
And you report what you found?
There is an abandoned campsite.
Gigi is having lots of fun, but I worry that it could be a trap.
Okay.
So, guys, let's maybe head towards the camp, split up, surround it, and then move in slowly in case it's a trap.
That sound fun?
Yes.
Cool little stealth mission?
Huh?
Cool little stealth mission.
I shall go from above.
And Gunther wants to like climb up the tree and go across.
Can I do that?
Yeah, make a...
Just imagining this like, frog just leaping from...
Make a strength check to get up in the tree, I guess.
Can I do acrobatics?
Are you going to jump?
Yeah.
That's right.
I forgot.
You already croaked folks, so yeah, I'll give you that one.
That's a 15.
You hop up into the tree and make your way that way.
And then what's everyone else's plan of attack here?
I'm just walking down the path.
All right.
Okay, if they're just walking down the path, then I want to go through some of the brush and then maybe approach the camp from the other direction that Gunther is approaching from.
And Doug?
Doug, I think, would kind of just follow the path, but sneakily, since he's very sneaky.
Oh.
I just like imagine.
It's like a cronk from Emperor Sneaper.
Make me a stealth check, Doug, just so I have it.
Do I get advantage?
Not if you're cronking.
I'm not cronking.
I'm sneaking.
I'm sneaking.
Sure.
Why not?
Okay.
21.
Oh, where did Doug go?
I just go.
Maddie, you walk down the path and
you walk into a campsite, much like Gunther described it.
You look around and it appears abandoned.
There's nobody here, but you see some packs and a bonfire amongst some tree stumps that seem to be giving an edge to the clearing.
Quick question then.
What is it about it that seems abandoned if you just described a little bit?
There's no one here.
Oh, okay.
Unoccupied.
Sure.
Okay.
My brain, I'm like, abandoned means everything's gone.
But packs and a bonfire means not abandoned, but unoccupied.
But that's just semantics.
So there's clearly people that are staying here just aren't here right now.
Correct.
Okay.
Here's the thing though, because there were skellingtons over there.
I mean, they must have abandoned it.
Hmm.
That's strange.
Is that weird to you guys?
I mean, I don't know how long them bones have been there.
They could have been there for a long time.
Usually, bones mean that body has been there for a while.
Yeah, but if there's like gold coins leading from the skellington to the camp, but there's a lit fire, that's strange.
Maybe that knoll was stealing from them and then died of old age.
Yep.
It's a very old age.
Just at a really bad time.
Logical hypothesis, yeah.
Died of old age and then was left there rotting away for years and years.
Yeah, his last action was stealing those coins before he.
There's no tent or anything.
Oh, God, Gus is rolling something.
Gunther, as you're in the tree watching, an arrow whizzes by your head, nearly hitting you, but missing.
Oh, oh,
means hurry up.
Yeah, yeah.
Gunther jumps off from the tree and says, we're under attack.
Arrows, take cover.
What is the household chore that you most like to avoid?
I was going to say, more questions.
That was good.
Oh my god, are we going to fight Yugas?
The arrow shooter.
He's 50 feet tall.
Did any of us see that arrow fly by?
I would say probably not because y'all are focused on the ground.
This is up in the trees.
But Gunther did alert us to it, though.
Yeah.
Okay, Gag, I think we got to form up.
As Gunther drops down to the ground, several gnolls appear out of the tree trunks in the area and begin menacingly approaching you, with one of them brandishing an axe saying, Give us all your gold.
Addy, are we gonna have to find out next week if we actually get out of this?
No.
Hand it over now, or I'll cut you to ribbon.
Right now?
No, I don't think, I don't think we will.
You just hear
from the bonfire area, a little toddler hacking up gold that he'd been eating.
I'm a croke folk, we do not value gold in the same way that you do, but what I can offer you are these pebbles.
Very valuable pebbles.
Natty holds up her hands and like open palms and just goes like, see, we don't got any gold.
And then Natty shoots an eldritch blast.
All right,
go ahead and see if that hits for me, Natty.
Okay.
Yeah, that's a nat 20.
It is.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Roll for damage?
Yeah.
Plus a bonus die, because he rolled a nat 20.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Well, the bonus one is at max damage.
So the D10 is the die.
Yeah.
So I rolled a 9 plus 10
plus a 3.
That's the damage.
Plus they get pushed back 10 feet and take an extra 3 damage.
So 25 damage.
Just in peace gold.
You hit this knoll with the axe who's menacing you with the eldritch blast and it pushes them back 10 feet and they just like disintegrate and fall to pieces from the absolute force uh of the blast gunther makes a mental note not to uh threaten
natty natty then uh squares her hands towards the other guy and says who else wants to meet my wife
they all look at each other and then uh look at you and then turn around and run away did any of them uh pass through an attack of opportunity no No, okay.
Well, guys, welcome to our new camp.
Thank you so much at home.
Way to go, Daddy.
Do you think if we maybe do like a rest or anything like that, one of us we should like do like uh shifts because I'm worried they might try to come back.
Yeah, absolutely.
I would say you guys get some shut eye and I could take first watch.
Can we check the packs that we're sitting here?
Abandoned?
Oh, good call.
Yeah, you open one up and it's just stuffed with straw.
Ah,
there is enough straw for all of us.
I'm gonna let you keep all that, Gunther.
You can take my share, Gunther.
That's cool.
This is great feed for animals.
Uh, Naddy sets up for a sleep.
All right, and Tolv, you have first watch.
Is anyone gonna relieve Tolv or is Tolv gonna watch the whole night?
I'll take second watch.
Do we need a roll for those, or can we also log a longer ass?
Yeah, you can go ahead and uh log them.
Naddy, you fall asleep and you open your eyes, awake, half buried in sand.
No sun, no moon, no stars.
Only blackness that gradually meets a horizon of dim purple.
Black sand dunes ripple with labyrinthian spirals and at the center of the spirals are small cairns.
And between dunes are shallow streams of mist that continue on past the horizon.
You feel like you're familiar with this place, Natty.
It's kind of fuzzy, like as if you've been here in a dream in the past, maybe?
Oh, I think I know where I am.
Where are you?
Natty looks around for a familiar face.
Yeah, you look around and you see a female centaur with a white coat and pale features trotting over silently.
One eye dimly glows lavender and the other is pitch black and she's dressed in a cloak of black sand.
You're such a Jinhaya?
Take an inspiration die.
That's funny.
Do I recognize this person?
Yeah, it's it's your wife.
Sugar pie!
She uh she looks at you and she conjures an hourglass of black sand that flips over and begins falling.
She says, Oh, it's so great to see you.
When did we last see each other?
I don't know.
It's hard to keep track of time in this little here
sand
opalis you've got going on.
Oh, so, so true.
She peeks at the hourglass as the sand goes through.
What was it that we talked about last time?
I feel like it's on the tip of my tongue.
I think we were just talking about how Gigi's uh, he's faring with his uh his growing up.
Oh, Giggy, how is he doing, that little rascal?
He got his first axe.
Oh, I wish I had seen it.
Yeah, I'm sure it's one of many, okay?
Oh, yes.
I've been busy and received so many spirits from you as of late.
They are gonna make great additions.
Some more than others.
Yeah, I've been trying to, I've been trying to send people your way whenever I can.
She smiles a big smile.
Oh, how I tire of all of this.
It's the waiting, isn't it?
I long for that glorious day to come.
I mean, you know, the journey is part of the fun.
I have to remind myself of that.
It's just, I long for all of this to be over.
And she points around.
Yeah, when's that gonna happen, you know?
Oh, I-I-I don't know yet.
And she looks over at the hourglass again, and you look as well, and you see that it's nearly empty.
Do you have any parting words for your wife?
Oh, have you been getting my messages?
Uh, she smiles, Big, and says, I have!
And as she says that, you sink into the black sand once more and you wake up.
Okay.
Nadi, Nadi, Nadi, Nadi, Naddy, Naddy.
Tove has been watching her this whole time.
Nadi, you look like you were having a nightmare.
Are you okay?
It's morning.
Oh, hey, Tove.
No, I had a great night.
Sorry,
Mike, I want you to put an alarm clock with me.
I picture like Naddy opens her eyes and it's just Tove, like an inch away from her face, like face to face.
Naddy, Naddy, Nadi.
Not touching her anything, just yelling and staring.
Yeah, yeah.
Hello.
How'd you sleep, Tov?
It's morning.
You know, I had a decent rest.
I'm feeling 100% again.
Ready to rage, ready to take on the day.
Yeah.
Ready to potentially hand off my leadership role.
Yeah.
I think I've completed my watch.
A whole half a day, huh?
Should I keep going?
I don't know.
That's okay.
No, no, no.
Good blame.
Don't be blamed.
Don't be blamed.
Be tough.
That's a command decision.
I think I only had over what, two episodes?
You're fine.
Do you, do you?
Yeah.
I'll pass the baton.
WWTV.
What would Tolv do?
What would Tolv do?
Tolv,
yeah, I think that that's enough.
In the event that we end up going like for multiple days, because it makes sense.
Because if Natty had it for like half of a day and then I took over for the rest of the day, then we could pass it for you guys for the next day.
Don't ethink it.
I think Tolv feeling like he needs to pass it on sounds like a Tolv movie.
Dog.
Just go for it.
No bad decisions.
No wrong decisions.
I'm going to wake up doug dog dog dog dog dog hello toll
doug is like wide awake staring at him as he's doing this the whole time i shake doug's hand and i say hello new leader uh leado me yeah wow i guess that uh i will i will be up for the challenge uh leado toll i mean subordinate toll
okay nice salute you salute yourself
all right team uh what what do we see?
What do we see during the night?
Anybody see anything suspicious or anyone try to come back to camp at any point?
I would say from the people who were on watch, their perspective, nothing seemed to have happened.
It was a quiet night.
Peaceful night.
Did we get a long rest, just to confirm?
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, Doug, I think also over the night, I think we leveled up, right, guys, right?
Y'all have accomplished so many of your mission objectives.
I think now that we're all rested, we should take advantage of this vim and vigor we've been gifted and head to our
Eldridge Bay.
Endridge.
Eldridge Bay.
Sorry, I got Eldridge Bay.
That's why you want to delete anymore.
It's true.
It's true.
Boom got her.
While we were doing our watch, could Gunther have gotten that axe from Giggy and replaced it with one of his own axes, like hand axes?
I mean, we'll have to maybe make some rolls for that.
I don't know.
I feel like Giggy's pretty attached to it at this point.
We've been sleeping with it.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's like his new teddy bear.
I just didn't know if we if we were supposed to because we were supposed to leave it somewhere, so that's why I was on the way back.
In my mind, because you all want it so much, Gigi is now like clamped onto it.
And like it's still in recent memory.
It's like maybe if you give it time, it'll fade, but now I think Gigi is like all over that thing.
All right, what's the move, Doug?
All right, I think we continue west to Endwidge Bay.
That's it.
You press on through the brush and shrubs for another hour or two, and the piercing rainfall and harsh winds continually pelt your faces.
Thunder booms and lightning pierces the sky, but another sound follows the stormy soundscape.
The lapping of water against wood.
The rough gravel and weedy dirt slowly gives way to damp sand and briny seaweed.
After detours fraught with demons and demigods, you finally reach your destination.
Endridge Bay.
So you turned out Doug just had to lead us the whole time.
Where'd you go, Doug?
Find out what Doug's next command decision is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
New location.
Pew pew pew.
Doug immediately hands off leadership.
Doug did it.
All right.
That's it.
And on a high note.
Find out if that really happens next time.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
Hey, everyone.
Thanks for listening to this podcast.
Don't forget to check out store.stinkydragonpod.com for all your stinky merch needs.
We've got a Council of Barbarians tea.
It's all your favorite barbarians on one t-shirt.
We've also got the Stinky Spring Collection 25.
We've got a vintage Dusty Dragon tea, Prestidigitation spelling tea.
I love that one.
I love all of them.
A Vibe Check hat and more.
New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.
Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free?
Become a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or become a member of beacon at beacon.tv.
Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and a member-only Discord for their respective platform.
Become a patron, you get access to even more exclusive bonus content, the Stingy Dragon community, Discord events, and you can get your name shouted out.
Just like Guarev, who's at Jigzy, Jeremiah, at JerryZer, Jerry8 Jerry, thought of Jerry's, Mom of Turton Fizz, Halmunder Hilmerson, and finally, Cayman Diamenta.
These patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and behind the screen, and much more.
In fact, here's a quick peek from last week's Second Wind.
Talk to me about the episode.
Talk to me about preacher Reggie.
Talk to me about private parts being strapped to a leather table with iron strap.
Well, first of all, Greggie, as he's known by his close friends, what do you think his deal was?
Was he like, yeah, we never did figure that out.
Was there a version where he was bad?
There's nothing creepier than like us going down a hallway in a cave and a guy saying, You want to purify the world?
You know, like, yeah.
So I think he was probably going to always be friendly, but we just were left with that first encounter to simmer on for a week thinking we were about to die.
I don't, I wonder if they were lying whenever they said they hadn't seen the Baron and Private Parts pass by because we asked and they said they hadn't.
Good chance.
Yeah, but then we continued along that way.
But I think no matter how you swing it, you would have had to have passed by Reggie to get there.
So either we found a continuity issue with Micah and Gus or
Reggie lied.
Technically, if my map is correct, which now I'm doubting my own map, when we were in the room with the
two different kinds of wind symbols, the one that was like on the made with chains and one that was on the coin, there were three exits that went up around that bend.
One was the one that went to the spatula room that then led to the private parts torture chamber.
One was the one
private parts torture chamber.
Listen, he's like some like red light district establishment.
Again, stinkydragonpod.com, we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.
Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Keeba Bucky, named after Trex, voiced by Kyla Cook at Defined by Kai from Same Brain TV.
Murphyn Bakerson, named after Hugh Mann, voiced by Beth Mae at Hey Beth May from the Dungeons and Daddies podcast.
Pai A.
Lamode, named after Andrew Lamont, voiced by Ashley McNew at Smash Re on Instagram.
Baron, named after Shield Maiden, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at Hi Hello Hannah.
Additionally, Private Private Parts, voiced by Benernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.
And Nadie's Wife, voiced by Jessica Bassami at Jessica Vasami on Instagram.
There's like five A's in there.
This week's error question was submitted by Crazy Mage524.
This episode of Tales and the Stinky Dragon is produced by Benernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.
Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales and the Stinky Dragon.
One watering can of this Wessel Witter.
Let me try that again.
One watering can of this whistle witter.
God damn it.
One watering can.
Previously, our adventurers ran into Reggie, the imprudent preacher.
I'm just gonna this all up.
I'm never doing this again.com.