C03 - Ep. 09 - Mission Through Middrus - Garden Variety Grilp

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Once upon a mundane morning, Barb's Day got busy without warning.

A realtor in need of an open house sign.

No, 50 of them.

And designed before nine.

My head hurts.

Any mighty tools to help with this plight?

Aha!

Barb made her move.

She opened Canva and got in the groove.

Both creating Canva sheets.

Create 50 signs fit for suburban streets.

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Anyone can follow.

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Good day to all you degenerate Titans.

Stomp your way into the stinky dragon and drink up our latest leaf juice.

Rock softly and carry a big stick.

It's a mixture of moody matcha powder, a herd's worth of goat's milk, dried up water, a boulder of brown sugar, and topped with a vanilla earth strike.

One swig of this huge hand warmer and you'll be shouting at the top of your reality-bending lungs.

Previously, our adventurers were summoned by Sergeant Steele Eye to find out their first mission, an excursion to Endridge Bay to find Fismum.

First, the four of them forged forward and reached the ruins of Raisine.

After some surreptitious scouting and learning from locals, they traveled to Tihi tasked to retrieve trees, but they found out they had missed the forest for the fiends.

Bring over a brew and let's buckle up for this bedtime tale.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon.

I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorola, joined by our four players, and I'm going to hit them with a role-playing warm-up question, an arrow.

I realized that we introduced the concept of the arrow in campaign two, and I don't know if I said what it stands for in campaign three.

And now that we're nine episodes in this morning, I was like, maybe I should, I should reiterate that.

Yeah, is it an acronym?

Yeah, a role-playing warm-up.

Oh, see, I was wondering why the R was missing.

Wouldn't it be our

role playing

warm-up?

A R-O.

R-Prawl.

R-Prawl.

What's the R?

What's the O?

Roll.

R-O.

O.

What?

Micah is saying it's a roll.

We'll play warm-up.

There he goes.

What's our warm-up?

Just put us out of our misery.

Hit us with that arrow.

All right.

Here you go.

Point-blank shot.

What is your character's favorite candy?

Gotta do that at disadvantage if you're rolling.

A D20.

I rolled a nine.

Nat 20.

John, first.

10.

16.

John, Blaine, Chris, me.

Yeah, that that was a nine for Doug.

Natty, what is your favorite candy?

And this was sent by Red Panda1316.

It's my favorite kind of panda.

Hi, everybody.

I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a Drow Warlock.

And I don't think it comes to surprise of anybody, but I've got quite the sweet tooth.

I love me some candy.

I love me some candy.

Candy every day.

Candy for breakfast, candy for lunch, candy for dinner.

Your dentist must love you.

We don't have dentists in our village.

Chris, you play Gunther.

What are you

saying?

You're describing me, John.

And,

you know, it's hard to pick my favorite candy because that's like picking your favorite kid, which is easy for me because I only got one.

But favorite candy, I'm going to ruffle some feathers, but I want people to keep an open mind when I say this, okay?

I don't want no negative Nancy.

Looking at you, Tove.

Looking at you.

Oh, no, I don't.

Looking at you.

No fancy.

Tove is never a negative.

Never.

I'm loving me some candy corn.

Oh.

That is.

I said none of that, Doug.

Doug, I'm looking at you.

You can't see my facial expression right now.

I'm facing outside the booth of your confession booth.

I've decided it's not a booth.

It's a campfire that we're having these questions.

So that's why we're having a conversation.

Oh, so basically, I'm like underlit by the file right now.

So you can really see the the frown on my face.

Now, I know, here's, here's, let me explain a little bit.

Let me lay down down.

People are like wax.

That's fine.

Let me dial down.

Let me lay down the layers like a candy corn.

It's got layers of color.

And candy corn is something that not everybody likes.

Not everybody understands.

Not everybody gets

what it is.

But some people have a special relationship with candy corn.

Some people have special memories with it.

And it's not just about the taste or the texture.

It's about what it means to some people and that's what it means to me candy corn is special to me so bad flavor what does it mean to you i'm asking you one more time toll but we're gonna have a talking two in private okay oh well technically it was me who uh yucked your yum first he started off though he he may he may have made a sound giggy's growling at toll giggies growling at toll no no roll for it

i feel like from the area you are natty i could correct me if i'm wrong i feel like peanut brittle is a popular uh typically a popular candy.

I see some peanut brittle with where you're from.

Oh, yeah.

Or some

pralines.

Pralines.

Yeah, yeah.

That's some good stuff, too.

This is a side tangent from the podcast.

This is a real life story, but John.

John is the first person who introduced me to reindeer snacks, or I forget what they were, but they were like reindeer food.

Something that you make during Christmas, which was like it's basically take like almost like a chex mix kind of thing and just toss it in white chocolate and like powdered sugar.

So then it's just like this like chunky, chocolatey treat.

It was so good.

I don't think I've ever seen that before.

It's just a bad

homemade snack.

I'm going to tell you one more thing that me and my kids made this weekend with their grandma, the mother of puppets, the grandmother of puppets.

It was called like a

hugs pretzels.

We just took like the circle pretzels, you put a hugs kiss on top of it, you put it in the oven for a little bit so it softens, and then you press a candy corn into the top of it.

So it's this little, like, this little layered thing of like pretzel and chocolate and candy corn.

It was like a nice little fall treat, and the kids enjoyed themselves.

And I've got it in my house, and I keep snacking on it.

What is it called?

A hugs?

It's like a hugs pretzel.

I have to see what this looks like.

Visually, oh, it's very tasty.

Some people make them with the circle things, but okay, interesting.

Yeah, anyways, that's what I like.

Candy corn.

We learned a lot.

Yeah.

Popcorn

Gunther, I think.

It was 12.

No, if Gunther wants to go first, I mean, mean that's fine.

Oh, Tolf,

so sorry.

Hello, you who?

It's me, Tollf.

I'm played by Blaine Gibson.

He's a male orc barbarian level three.

Or I am.

I get the two confused.

I'm going to be so for real with you guys right now.

I do not have much candy eating experience.

I'm not, you know, never really exposed to candy.

But if I had to pull one out of my butt, I guess I'd say something like sea salt candies.

You know, I know they make caramels with sea salt.

Or saltwater taffy.

Saltwater taffy.

That sounds interesting.

Yeah.

I would think that after your experience, Torf, that you would not want to get anywhere near sea salt for a really long time, you know?

You would think so, but sometimes you just develop a taste and it just doesn't go away, you know?

I don't know.

Fair enough.

I was thinking that since you were a Viking, which is a little bit like a pirate, your favorite candy would be candied oranges because you need that because of the scurvy.

Oh, the scurvy.

Ah, yeah.

No, I never tried that either.

You know, no, you know, we got to get you some candy.

I got to live life.

You know, I'm mama on the land now.

You know, I can try some things, live a little.

So, anyways, that's my story.

Who's next?

Gunther?

Yeah, I'm Chris Demaris.

You don't sound like Gunther.

I play Gunther, the level three fighter male crook folk.

Also, to be pulling out of butt,

I like the juice of bee.

Oh, juice of pea?

B.

No, he's talking about the honey.

I heard pull out of butt, juice of pea, and I was like, what is what is this?

You're traveling with a creep, Barbara.

We're mind podcast.

I'm gonna need to take that to out of humor elsewhere, okay?

Yes, thank you.

Shout out to private parts.

You mean sweaty private parts?

All right, honey, but it is the most delicious.

I mean, that's, I guess, considered considered okay.

Like, honeycomb, what's your relationship like with bees?

You know, you guys are not too far off in size.

You know, they're like the size of flies, and I know that you carry those around as like pets.

You like bees?

I like bees, but they can sometimes not hurt.

If they can sometimes hurt if you try to eat them when you don't eat the bees, you eat their juices.

So, Gunther, I just want to clarify here.

Are you talking about just straight, pure honey, or is there like any kind of preparation?

Like, there's that candy from like a hundred years ago called a bit of honey.

Are you talking about like that kind of stuff, or just like

a honeycomb?

You take a bite out of it with the wax, just honey.

It's simple.

They do those honey, those like honey sticks, like the tubes of honey at like fall festivals and stuff.

Those are yummy.

I love honey.

I bet due to Gunther's diminutive size, anytime he finds a honeycomb, he always says, Honeycomb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is that?

What is that?

Is that a thing?

Interesting.

No, the honeycombs commercial there in the 1940s when Gus was

it's not small, no, no, no.

Oh, man.

Hey, kids, ask your parents about it.

They'll get a pick out of it.

Ask your grandparents.

Oh, man.

Gus might be as old as some people's grandparents.

I might be.

I've thought about that before.

Yeah.

I mean, there's people who are grandparents at like

mid-30s, even.

Not a lot, but I've heard of it.

Back in my day, we didn't have the internet.

If we wanted to talk to someone, we picked up a phone.

And if they weren't home,

too bad.

That's nice, Gus Paul.

I've told you about the time that I blew my kids' mind when I told them that that DoorDash hasn't been a thing forever.

Wow.

How did we eat before?

I think that's what they thought.

Cause I was like, we used to like, like, cause they're just used to like food is delivered all the time to our house.

And I was like, that is not a normality for my entire life.

And they're like, what?

Yeah.

Dude, sometimes I think about that, like, even just Uber or Lyft.

I'm like, how do we get around

another city?

Like, what do we do?

Taxis.

Great house in college.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Micah saying back in the day that that we dashed the the door stayed up the door stayed we was us who did the dashing we dash um hello everyone i am barbara dunkelman all right did you have anything else to ask gus i forgot dog hadn't gone yet i'm sorry oh my god left left alone again poor dog here sorry dog

um i'm barbar dunkelman and i play doug boone the uh bugbear artificer also level three and uh doug actually has i if i'm allowed i I have a least favorite candy and a most favorite candy.

Oh, a lot of that.

That's good.

It's more information.

Learned about one of my favorite bugbears I've ever seen.

Oh, oh, thank you, Natty.

Wow.

I'm blushing.

You can't see because of all the four on my face.

But I, so my, my favorite candy is nerds.

uh specifically the nerd clusters which i love you are one

sometimes you just gotta own it people call you names you just gotta you gotta lean into it uh but then i just go with they're really tasty what's your least favorite

I do want to compliment Doug.

Those gummy clusters, as a kid say, slap.

They slap.

They're Sigma.

No.

They unarmed strike.

And the candy that I find skibbety.

Take an inspiration, Dodge.

I love it.

All right, yeah, but

the candy that is my least favorite is Tootsie Pops.

And the reason for this is, you know, Doug conducted a lot of experiments while he was on his own.

And one of which was how many licks to get to the center of this toasty pop the classic question and doug did so many tests on these that he just got really sick of them that if he sees another tozy pop he he might get sick how many licks does it take though yeah do you still have your research notes now on average it would be 437.5.

Wow.

Not so many.

I believe it.

That's a lot of research.

My licks are strong.

Probably for Gunto probably be half of that.

Yeah.

He'd wrap his whole tongue around and go to.

Did you say your lips are strong?

Licks, licks.

Oh, okay.

Frogs don't have lips.

How's that uncrustable?

I've never seen Gus eat an uncrustable before.

I did yesterday.

They're great.

Yeah, I've got a busy day.

I'm not going to have time for lunch, so I'm going to jam a few uncrustables right now.

It's carbo loading.

They're so good.

Have you ever put an uncrustable in the uh an air fryer?

It slaps.

Oh my gosh.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

Hey, I gotta go, guys.

We gotta get this up early.

It's pretty great.

Thanks for listening, everyone.

We'll see you in the next video with Atlanta.

Be right back.

Gus is off to get some nerd clusters and Uncrustables.

I never had an Uncrustable before, like a week or two ago.

And Blaine, I would see you with them every now and then.

Yeah.

John, they weren't around when I was a kid.

I know, Dad, but they've been around for like at least like a decade.

Right.

But I don't have kids.

Why would I ever have one?

But I would see that Blaine would come every now and then.

Blaine doesn't have kids.

And I was like, I should try this.

They're really good.

Uncrustables, call me.

Or smuckers, call me.

Listen, let's work out a sponsorship.

I would love an Uncrustable sponsorship.

it's so good great pre-workout

peanut butter they're really good micah micah says he's never had one either oh try them out i i read the other or esther read and sent to me that i guess the nfl use eats like 40 000 uncrustables a season the denver broncos are in the lead by like a huge margin they

they suck up the uncrustables wow that's kind of cool yeah i guess they are good pre-workout Yeah, like, I was like, if it's good enough for Blaine and the NFL, it's good enough for just.

As you know, you look to the tree like you're going to harm it.

You notice that the two holes that are in the trunk have eyes peering out of them watching you.

Oh.

Does it seem like the trees are in control here?

Is that the vibe?

Or that

there might be hollowed out fake trees, and this is a secret base.

It might be Undarians.

Who's in charge here?

The gardener looks around nervously.

And as he does so, a green-skinned devil about the size of a house cat pops out of the tree

and begins flying around and out of each of the trees another fiend bursts out and begins swarming circling around uh you and your friends gunther i knew it wasn't crazy the gardeners look at each other uh and say they know get him

so toll had a 20 gunther had a 21 doug had a 14 and naddy had a six What did Private Pods have?

I'm sure he's going to participate.

He got a 15.

Oh, nice.

Well done, Private.

Good call, good call.

While y'all were doing your arrows, I decided to be smart for once, and I rolled initiative for all of the NPCs.

Ooh.

You mean you weren't fully paying attention to our arrow questions?

I was somewhat distracted.

I had other things going on.

Rolling dice and eating smuckers, I see.

Maddie, what is your...

I'm going to double-check your dexterity modifier here.

15.

Plus 2.

Okay.

One of the NPCs also rolled a 6, but you will be going before them.

Toll, you rolled a 20.

One of the other NPCs also rolled a 20.

Oh, yeah.

You are going first right so the order is the order is going to be wow y'all had some really good roles uh at the top we're going to have gunther and toll followed by one of the enemies then private parts then doug so gunther you're going to be leading us off i'm going to give you a little bit uh lay of the land before you go though lay it on me lay that land so you all were in the tree sanctuary right and it's kind of it looks like it's kind of a rickety building and these are things that i said last time i just want to kind of make sure you're still picturing the environment correctly in your mind.

The door was barely hanging on the hinges when you all came in and the building structure and walls seemed to be pretty precariously built and there was all the glass was missing.

This building itself is probably about 35 feet across and about 50 feet long.

So 35 by 50.

There's three trees that were set up like exhibits and a fountain in the middle.

And the gardeners were milling about in various areas and the demons popped out from the trees themselves.

And these are like flying little green green-skinned devils about the size of a house cat.

They look very mean.

They got a mouthful of ugly fangs.

In terms of like orientation, it's 50 feet long, 35 across.

So it's like a rectangle.

35 wide, then 50 feet long.

Okay.

And then are we at like the bottom?

of that rectangle?

Good question.

Yeah, you all entered from the door, which is in the very south of that building.

And then the fountain is to the north in the middle.

And then to the north beyond that are the three tree exhibits, if you would call them that.

So we're at the very very north you're at the very south oh uh but you went to the north correct because you were by the trees okay so we're past the fountain yes okay you're pretty close to the fountain though the fountain from like where you are with the tree since the fountain's in the middle it's only 10 to 15 feet behind you it's pretty close okay gunther you're up first all right and i was right next to one of the trees because i went up right so yes where am i in relation to the three demons well they all popped out of each of their respective trees so you're right by one of them The next one's maybe five to ten feet over, and then the one out beyond that's maybe 10 to 15 feet over.

They're all very close to you.

Okay.

I'm just gonna go and attack the closest one.

Gunther, I use you.

So you attack the one closest to you?

Yeah, it's flying in the air around you.

Can I attack it?

Yeah, go for it.

That's a 23.

That hits.

That's 14 damage.

Nice.

That's a lot.

Yeah, I rolled an eight out of eight.

Okay, man, plus six.

Wow.

It's super effective.

Yeah, I guess in all of your experience herding flies, you must be used to dealing with creatures that are flying about you because you so precisely target it and lash out at it and hit it, and you cleanly slice it in two and it falls to the ground, unmoving.

Wow.

Can really dance.

Wow.

I'll go to the next closest one.

Okay.

And I'll just, that's it.

Okay, so then you just hop over like five feet over to the next closest one, just so you're threatening it, I assume.

Yeah.

Okay.

And that's it.

all right just making a note that this one is no longer with us uh

like frog a deer who is a a frog pokemon i'll take your word for it uh we didn't have pokemon back in my day

told you're up then one of these flying devils then private parts we had magic togethering um

well that wasn't until i was like 15 16 somewhere on there we had rocks uh okay before i get into any action stuff do i feel like there might be more things hidden, or do I feel like the enemies that are about to attack or fight are all present and accounted for?

Roll call!

Is everybody here?

Make a perception check.

Okay.

Do you have danger sense?

Would that help at all?

Danger sense more for like dexterity sakes.

That's fair.

I do have danger sense, though.

I'm thinking in more of a way of like a spidey sense.

Yeah.

Tolve recognizes the council of barbarians.

Much thank you.

I'm sorry, perception, you said?

Yeah.

Voila, that is a 14.

So, just before I answer, is there something in particular you're wary of?

Blaine, from a metagame perspective, is there something you're wary of?

Because there is three entryways beneath the hollow trees that could potentially lead to, like, I don't, I want to make sure this isn't like a stronghold and there's like a bunch of dudes below.

Because that might affect if I like cover the holes or, you know, stand by them to pop a weasel or whatever.

Sure.

And And you rolled a 14 on your perception check?

Yeah.

Do you think the trees are hollow?

With a hole or the hollow just to the ground?

It's hard to tell if there's a hole to the ground.

There could be more enemies in the tree or there could be more enemies below ground ready to come up.

You think that the tree might just be a conduit of some kind?

Got it.

I mean, these things are probably living underground, we've kind of discovered.

Yeah, yeah, based on like our last experience.

Plus, we heard mumbling last episode under the ground, but anyways, okay, that's good enough.

Um,

I'm gonna hold off on the rage, guys.

I'm gonna keep it cool.

All right, I'm not gonna rage, okay, everybody.

I wanna hold those points for later.

He's gonna do it.

I know he's getting angry.

No, I'm not.

I'm really calm.

I'm very cool right now.

I'm just gonna take my warhammer, and I'm gonna attack with two hands.

Uh, probably the fly demon that's not the one

that Gunther is face to face with, the other one.

The other one.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, I just rolled damage for some stupid reason.

That's my bad.

We'll keep that in mind if I make this roll.

It's a 15.

Uh, that hits.

Okay.

Should I take damage from before?

Do you want me to re-roll again?

Let's just use that one.

That's okay there.

That's an 11.

And this was the one not closest to Gunther reset, right?

Yeah.

I treat this one like a pinata.

And I hope I get some nerd clusters.

Am I right, dog, yeah?

Oh, man, I'm really quitting some nerd clusters right now.

Nerd clusters.

Sit.

Honey, so good, yeah.

Yeah, you bring your Warhammer down on this flying creature and yeah, lots of nerd clusters come bursting out of it.

Wow.

Wait, those aren't nerd clusters.

Oh, I'm gonna be sick.

It's on the ground unmoving.

It's an uncrustable.

Yum, yum, yum.

And then I'm gonna move towards a tree and I don't know if this is an action or a movement or what.

Was there any sort of, you said a conduit like a doorway or anything like that?

Was there any sort of like hinged door or any entryway?

There's not like a hinged door.

It's just like various holes on the trees.

Okay, I'm just gonna stand by those holes to kind of like get ready for anything that comes out.

Ada!

Sure.

Since there are three trees, is there one in particular you want to stand by?

They're about five to ten feet apart from each other, roughly.

They're set up like in a triangle.

I'm gonna go for the chortle chestnut.

That one sounds fun.

Okay, that's the one on the left, on the west side of the room.

Oh, going left.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

I'm gonna make a note of that.

That's my turn.

I think the other day, Barbara, you asked how you keep track of everything when you're DMing.

Lots of notes.

Lots of typing.

Lots of writing stuff down.

My brain is not wrinkly enough for that.

Very smooth.

It is the flying demon's turn that is next to Gunther.

It sees what you and Toll have done to its friends, and it is going to...

Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

uh it looks at you bears its fangs uh and tries to take a bite at you gunther all right

i rolled a two

it doesn't have any teeth it's just soft

baby tongue oh no all right i might be looking at the wrong stat ball sorry one second oh Oh, I thought it was bite and then the thing.

Okay, sorry.

I just misunderstood the way the attack works.

It inhales Gunther bearing its fangs at you and then lets out some really bad halitosis in your area.

Yeah.

Ew.

Make me a constitution saving throw.

No, you could get like a Bushquad mouthwash for that stuff.

Oh, man.

I rolled a one.

I think they come from where Natty comes from, and there's no dentist there.

This is slander.

This is slander.

I like that better when you roll the two, Gus.

I'm just going to say it.

Go with your candy corns.

Well, you see, that's the power of editing there, Chris.

You could edit anything to come out of your mouth.

I could say, I hate Gus, but then, you know, I might say love later in the episode, and then it would sound completely different.

Sound like this.

I love Gus.

Thanks, Blaine.

I really appreciate it.

No, no, no, the edit darn you edit.

I hope that joke makes any sense.

Yeah, it's gonna be good.

All right, you take one point of damage, Hunther, from this attack from the uh from the demon that's not much just dinky dinky yeah but now you're also vulnerable to fire and necrotic damage oh what was the damage type that you took it's piercing you'd feel like fire and necrotic would oppose each other you know like pokemon types and i'm sorry it's not necrotic it's just fire that's my point i'm a mess over here i got i ate too many uncrustables this morning i'm so full of uncrustables right now guys that's sugar from that jelly

all right so you take uh one point of piercing damage Gunther, and you are now vulnerable to fire.

Okay.

Coat yourself in honey.

It can't move away, or it'll provoke an attack of opportunity.

So that's all it is going to do.

It is Private Parts' turn.

He looks around, he surveys the situation.

See, Tov moved to the tree to the west and took out an enemy.

Gunther took out an enemy and is threatening the other one.

Doug and Natty have not gone yet.

He's not even fighting, he's just grading us.

He's like, Yes, performance.

He's gonna step over to you, Natty, and say, I'll cover you when you make your move.

So, from a metagame perspective, you have advantage on your next attack roll.

Okay, thanks.

Thanks, private.

Yeah, of course.

Private support privates.

We privates gotta stick together.

Why is everyone laughing?

Take your pick.

Doug, you're up, then an NPC, and then Natty.

Could you re-describe the fountain to me?

Yeah, of course.

It was weird.

Yeah.

He said it was like...

Let me see if I can remember.

It was water, but hard.

Translucent water.

Translucent water, but like hard, but not ice.

Hard as a rock, but not ice.

And there's a coin.

Which makes no sense.

Yeah.

Hard water, not an ice.

We were A, buying Gus Time, B, showing off that wheelist.

I like it.

Is it?

Oh, I know what it is.

It's gelatin.

What's saying hard, though?

Like, that's what I'm saying.

I was trying to think of how do you make water hard, but not freeze it?

And I was like, oh, gelatin actually solidifies it.

Oh, my God, guys, is that smucker's grape jelly?

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It's not even water.

Smuckily.

Did they ever do, is there, there's a, there's like a clear jelly, right?

Yeah.

It probably doesn't have the red dye number, whatever.

So this fountain is like a, it's in the center of this building.

It has a sculpture of a silver coin the size of a dinner plate etched with wind lines and it smells of fish and it has still water.

and there's a plaque on it that you all read last time that reads sacred font of the wind trader i spent all that time having to reopen the last module i already had it open i expected this and i just didn't realize it was the next the next tab over i don't know what any of this could mean or how it could help us but i feel like we gotta we gotta look at this maybe after the battle yeah

um

okay

so we got the three trees up at the north gunther is fighting two of these there's only one one left that you see there's there's only one left one left that you're fighting one you took down already and one tilt down one tilt down okay but are the gardeners also fighting us uh it looks like they're looking at you all aggressively they just uh have not had an opportunity to do anything yet okay

i'm debating whether i want to burn one of these trees

if it's a potential like entry point damn it could i uh cast firebolt at the tree furthest away from gunther just because i don't want to accidentally catch him on fire since he is vulnerable to fire damage.

Oh, yeah, that would be

So Gunther is by one tree, Toll is by another.

Yeah, so you'd go at least by process of elimination by process of elimination.

My process of elimination.

That would leave the tree on the easternmost portion to be the one you would target.

Yes.

Yeah, would that be the Hogwash hickory or the drizzle dogwood?

That is the hogwash hickory.

Okay, I'm aiming at the hogwash hickory.

Fine choice.

And I feel kind of bad because I know that they're trying to like preserve these trees, but if they're an entry point for bad people, then I'm gonna try to hit it.

Don't cross Doug.

He'll firebolt you.

I think I'm gonna use my inspiration die for that one.

Rolled a 10.

Rolled a thin.

Got a 20 underway, girl.

Okay, cool.

16.

Nice.

Aww.

Does that hit?

Uh, yeah, it does.

Uh, we're just establishing in canon that uh Doug hates trees, so canonically, no.

this makes sense.

Yeah, 16 does hit.

Okay.

I just hate, you know, portals for demons.

Boy, that guy really hates trees.

It does four damage, but it says that if I hit an object that's flammable, it ignites if it's not being worn or carried.

Okay, are trees flammable?

I think a little bit, maybe.

We got a fire in this glass house.

When Doug made his proclamation about trees, Natty, you noticed private parts started writing something down.

Oh.

Yeah, make sure to note that, okay?

Doug respects nature.

I hope we learn private parts can't actually read or write, and they're just drawing pictures.

They're just drawing pictures.

Yeah, yeah.

With a whoosh, that tree ignites and flames begin licking at the branches.

I always hated when people described flames as licking, because then I just imagine little fires just going

I'm making licking noises, but I think the Discord gate cut it out.

You were just showing your tongue to us.

Yeah.

And as the tree becomes engulfed in flames, three more little demons pop out from

flying around with fire on their wings.

This is like when you have like a hornet's nest and you spray it with something to like, you know, kill the nest and then all of the hornets start like leaving it.

So I kind of half expected that to happen.

So three of them?

Yeah, there are three more that popped out and their wings are in flames.

Like Azum Darians, is that like, they're like powered up now?

Yeah.

I don't know.

We're going to find out.

Next episode?

Does it look like they're enjoying being on fire?

Yeah.

Are they smiling?

Yeah.

They're pretty cool with it.

They're pretty hot with it.

They're pretty hot on it.

I think that'll be my turn.

All right, so Doug ignited that East Tree.

Making a note.

All right.

That is Doug's turn.

It is one of the gardeners' turns.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

I like playing with my guys.

That's what we used to, me and Mico, would refer to when we were gonna play with our action figures.

We'd say, you want to play with guys?

Whenever I would play, not with action figures, but just you know, play with swords or whatever, we say, either play pretend or play like we're them.

Like, where it's like, if we're gonna pretend to be like whatever, it's like, let's play like we're them.

All right, one of the gardeners, I'm gonna roll here.

If it's evens, Gunther, odds told, even.

Uh, one of the gardeners looks at you, Gunther, and points, and unintelligible, arcane words spew out of its mouth, and it seems like it overwhelms, it's beginning to overwhelm your mind.

Make me an intelligence save, Gunther.

All right, hold up.

What's that sound like, Gus?

Oninomino Steam, young inferno steam, speaking in tongues, oh god,

intelligence save, is that what you said?

Save, Yeah.

15.

Oh.

For some reason, you get really angry that Doug ignited the tree and you want to go over and hit him with your weapon, but then you shake it out of your head and you decide not to.

You're like, you don't know what came over you for a moment.

Get taunted by you!

It was just weird, bizarre.

Power of friendship.

Okay, and that is it for that one's turn.

So it is Natty's turn.

Then after Natty is the remaining two gardeners, and we'll go from there.

Howdy, y'all.

Hey, Natty.

And don't forget, Private Parts is assisting you, so you have advantage on any attack roll you make this round.

I wish you had done that to someone else because I wanted to do something that wasn't attacked.

But I'm going to take, you know, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and I'm going to do an attack to use that.

And I'll do what I wanted to do later.

Just so you know, from a metagame perspective, the reason Private Parts chose you is: one, you hadn't gone yet, two, you're the team leader, three, Doug is the medic.

So, logistically, tactically, you were the best choice for private parts.

That's fine.

I'm going to go with,

yeah, that gardener.

I don't like nasty talk.

And I'm just going to hit them with a good ol' eldritch blast.

Pew pew.

All right.

So I'm going to roll for that.

That's another Nat 20.

Yeah, two in the same episode.

Nice.

This, by the way, I don't know if I described them.

The one who did that, who was doing the nasty talk, as Natty said, is a scrawny gray dwarf wearing a bodice that's made of some kind of weird textured skin.

All right, well, they're gonna be a scrawnier dwarf because I'm about to blast off some more of them.

So, Nat20 hits.

Gee, how?

Nice.

Yep, that definitely hits.

Rolling my D10, which is four, plus three is seven, plus.

Ah, dang it.

I always forget to do this.

I meant to do hex.

Dungeon Master Gus, can I do my hex before I do my Eldridge Blasts?

I heard you do hex already.

I don't know what you're talking about.

It is correct.

I cast hex on them i hex you that's what i said

and i place a curse on that creature and they take an extra d6 of necrotic damage whenever i hit them with an attack and they will take a disadvantage on uh is there any disadvantage that would help anybody

uh okay cool no then they will take disadvantage on dexterity checks all right writing that down disadvantage against the warhammer i don't know disadvantage against stab so they take the 7 plus the d6,

which is 2 points of necrotic damage.

They get pushed back 10 feet and take 3 more damage from my agonizing blast.

So it's a total of 12 points of damage.

Plus the crit.

Sometimes I get an agonizing blast when I eat fast food.

Eldritch Blast is a D10.

Thank you.

So 22 points of damage then.

Do you do the roll plus the in the description of Eldritch Blast, it is D10 plus 3.

Yeah, so then you rolled the D10 plus 3 and then additional max, so 10.

The max is 13.

Max of the die, unmodifier.

Okay, and are they still standing?

Yeah, you hit them with that repulsor, which knocks them back 10 feet, and they slam into one of the walls that's supporting the building, and the whole wall begins shaking, and bits of the roof and the ceiling begin falling down.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

So they need to, as well as Gunther and Tov, all make dexterity saving throws.

There's a tree on fire and the building's coming down.

This is gonna need to be a quick fight.

I rolled a 15 for the dwarf.

Uh, will I I have something called danger since all

you have advantage on deck saving throws against effects that you can see while not blind and deafened or incapacitated?

Eat my butt.

That's a 17 and a 15.

17.

21.

Ah, okay.

Big pieces of timber begin falling down, and everyone only takes half damage because everyone took or succeeded on their rolls.

They are still standing?

Let me...

I gotta add that up up in a second.

So that is 10 points of blood geniusing damage where everyone takes half, which is 5.

So 5 points of blood genie damage to the people I said.

And yes, the dwarf is very bloodied, not looking good, but they are still standing.

Okay.

They're a little bit stronger.

Giggy, get him.

Giggy, giggie, giggie, eat.

Giggy, I choose you.

Did you roll to see if Giggy does it?

Oh, dang it.

Every time.

19.

He does what mama wants.

That's mama's boy right there.

If you failed, I was going to have him attack Gunther.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

Just like heat of the moment.

Heat of the moment.

Yeah, that would be in character.

I didn't specify who to get.

Right.

Okay.

Giggy runs up and slashes him with his little bitty demon claws.

And Giggy rolls a 22 on attack.

That hits him.

And that's a D4

plus 3.

It's 4 plus 3.

So 7 piercing damage and a DC10 constitution saving through or they take poison damage.

That is a failure.

So they are poisoned.

They are poisoned and they take two d4.

I want a bigger d4 dice because rolling a d4 is the most unsatisfying dice to roll because it's just this tiny little pyramid.

And it rarely rolls.

It just goes...

It just kind of falls on whatever like it angle is facing the ground when it lands.

You could roll a d8 and then just divide by two.

I guess I could.

I have a d8.

All right.

So one, two is one.

Eight, so divided by two is...

Four.

Oh, I guess if I'm rolling two d4, that's the two d4.

Oh, that doesn't work, though, because it's like a bell curve.

Four plus.

Wait, what's half a three then?

So then that goes...

That's two.

So one and two is one, three and four is two.

Six poison damage, and they are poisoned for the next minute.

Gus was stoked.

Like, whenever

he gets this little glint in his eyes whenever math is, you know.

You look at the distribution of rolls that are possible with a 2d4 versus a 1d8, and you're more likely to end up with a middle number around.

English.

That's why I did it, Blaine.

You got to give Gus some math, or else he sits there on his jelly energy and he can't.

He gets jittery.

I don't want to improv today.

I want to do math.

Michael's got some pretty cool looking diamond D4s.

You may want to look into that.

They look almost like fangs to me.

They're pretty cool.

It's fun.

They are still standing?

Yeah, this dwarf is looking way worse for wear.

You would say barely standing.

Okay, I'm done.

This is standing.

Thank Daya.

That's it for Natty.

That one is dead.

Okay, so the gardeners.

The remaining two or the other two gardeners.

This one is a female human.

And what's she gonna do?

I think she's gonna run away.

No, she's definitely not doing that.

She has something special in store for you.

Oh, is it candy corn?

No, thanks.

I knew.

I knew.

Wait, I knew that as soon as I brought up candy corn, someone was not going to be able to let it go because people are way too opinionated on candy corn, and I know that triggers people.

You can just have stopped the sentence that people are way too opinionated.

Yeah, fair.

It's like that Bo Burnham sketch.

Does everyone need to have opinion on everything all the time?

I did a stream once where I did a ranking, a tier list of candies, and I did that specifically to trigger as many people as possible.

Candy corn does suck, though.

You know what's great about food?

It's subjective.

No, empty.

Okay, so this female human looks at you, Toll,

and from her bag, she pulls out a bloodstone pickaxe that's wafting with smoke.

He looks like she's targeting you.

Before you do that, is that Pie a Lamote's pickaxe?

Did you steal that?

Sounds familiar, huh?

Oh, yeah.

That's that's what that's theft.

That's property.

Unless this is Pai Aila mode.

No, she's not got the bubblegum hair.

Has she?

She's underground.

This also is a human, and I believe you all know that Pai Aila Mode, or you're told Pai Aila Mode is an elf.

Oh, okay.

I know.

Yes, you are correct.

Take an inspiration die if you don't have one.

You keep giving me an inspiration die and I already got it.

Man.

You gotta use them then.

Must be hard, must be, must be difficult.

What a tough life you must live.

Maybe spend less time making fun of me about my candy choices and make some good jokes.

Listen, I make the greatest jokes of my life.

My jokes are the best.

Listen, if you have the selection of every candy in the world and you pick candy corn, not leaving this subject.

My favorite candy corn is natty's.

True.

My favorite candy is dark chocolate.

Actually, no, it's Reese's pieces.

Okay, good answer.

Good answer.

E.T.

Yum.

So, this

gardener pulls out the pickaxe.

She points the pickaxe in your direction, Toll, and the pickaxe head transforms into a wind dragon wormling head.

And it roars and exhales a big gust of breath at you, and it hits both you and Gunther.

That got worse.

Yeah.

Both of you make strength-saving throws.

Dirty 20.

I wonder if the wind dragon has anything to do with the sculpture of the silver coin with the wind lines on it.

Oh, I'm in agreement.

16.

There's some wind themes.

Ah, you both make it.

Alright, so you're going to take half damage then.

So you get buffeted with some bludgeoning damage.

Super fade.

But you're taking half of this.

You take two points of bludgeoning damage.

And you're pushed five feet back as well.

And in addition, unprotected flames are extinguished, but they were not by the tree that you had caught fire, Doug.

So your tree is still on fire.

What about all the flying bugs?

They came out of the one that was on fire, so they're not in the area.

Okay.

But since it pushes you five feet, it also kind of pushes the walls, and the walls start shaking again, and little bits of lumber begin falling down again all around you.

So, Gunther and Tolv once again make dexterity-saving throws.

My goodness, you guys, you're in the bad place.

Yeah, seven.

He has advantage on dexterity-saving throws.

Finally, roll poorly.

Yeah, yay!

17.

All right, uh, Tolv, you successfully save.

Gunther, you do not.

So that is nine points of bludgeoning damage.

So if you take half, you take four.

Because I really should have raged.

I feel so stupid right now.

And additionally, because you were hit by some falling debris, Gunther, you're knocked prone.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Just a dissatisfied cry.

Don't get so emotional.

The female human sees Gunther knocked to the ground, and a sneer spreads across her face.

You got got smile at me!

You wipe that sneer off your face as my friend.

As you're on the ground.

As the sneer spreads across her face, she looks at the other gardener who has not done anything yet and says, Grego, get him now.

And the other gardener, which is some kind of dwarf, charges over to seems like he's going to take advantage of the fact that Gunther is on the ground.

Does he pass by any of us while he's going in that direction?

No.

better if he did.

Because they were already kind of by the trees.

Tov was by the other one.

Naddy is over there.

Doug is there.

No, there's a way for them to get by without provoking.

Yeah.

Okay.

Everyone make a perception check for me.

Okay.

12.

It was on a 15 and it rolled over to a 5, so I have a 10.

Okay.

8.

7.

I feel like none of us passed, so I'm going to go ahead and use my inspiration.

Die.

See if Grego's going to let go of my eggo.

Yes.

Got him.

13.

Grego seems seems to disappear from sight you lose track of him for a moment and then the next thing you know he's on top of gunther taking an attack so is that a misty step kind of thing metagame perspective invisibility oh but then we see him again when he pops up by gunther yeah as he's striking gunther with a war pick and he has advantage this is plus four to hit that is a 22 that will hit

he brings this war pick down on gunther doing i rolled a one on damage

Three points of piercing damage.

Yes.

I'm starting to feel bad for Gus.

Yeah, can I tell you this story one time?

I went to a field day and they had that thing where you could throw the horseshoes, you know?

You have to like set the stake in the ground, right?

In order for the horseshoes.

So I was a kid and I grabbed a stake and I raised it into the air to get some pressure to push it into the ground.

And when I did it, I slammed it into my forehead.

And I almost knocked myself out.

Anyways, that's what I imagine Grego just did.

I mean, I've still taken 20 points of damage, so you've done a good job, Gus.

Hey, don't give up, man.

You're gonna get us someday.

Well, speaking of which, that's it for that gardener's turn, but now it is the turn of the three demons that emerge that are now on fire.

They all die because they're on fire, have been on fire for the last few seconds.

And they all live happily ever after.

Be in

make a wisdom check, Doug.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

You are the wisest of us all, Doug.

You can do it.

Nat 20 for a 20 flea.

Oh my god, the prophecy has come true.

You think that fire may not be such a bad thing for these creatures.

No, I know.

I didn't have to do a wisdom check for that.

But I'm giving you official confirmation.

I just wanted to destroy the tree in hopes that nothing else would be able to come out of it, but clearly backfired.

The biz we call that insult to injury.

It front fired

fired fired fired it just fired two of them close on toll

uh toll make me a let's call it a dexterity check to try to avoid catching fire from them good thing i'm super dexterous swish swish swish that's me moving around hello

21 wow i just imagine you're like shimmying your hips

like

johnny bravo

uh make i forgot i should have said make two dex checks because there's two of them so make one more I thought there's three of them.

It's okay because I'm super dexterous.

Two of them went to 12.

Swish, swish, swish.

Still moving my feet around.

Still shadow boxing.

Wuchow.

17.

Okay.

I'm too fast.

You can't see me, John Cena.

So, yeah, you managed to successfully avoid catching fire, but now they focus their attention on you.

Make me two constitution saving throws as they try to take a bite at you.

My gosh.

22?

Okay.

11.

Both of those saved.

The number you're looking for is 11.

So you luck out.

You managed to only take one point of piercing damage.

Oh, nice.

Oh, no, that really hurt.

I'm just kidding.

It did not hurt so bad.

It actually, in fact, did not really.

The other one heads over to Gunther.

Gunther, make me a...

Let's do the same thing as Told.

You make only one dexterity check, but make this one a disadvantage because you're prone.

Dex check.

Yeah.

It probably should have been a saving throw, but I said check, and since I made Blaine do a check, I'm gonna make you do a check as well.

Alright,

that's a 22 and a 15.

Yeah, you're fine.

All right,

this creature, you know, comes over, flies, and it's like trying to fly around you and intentionally flap its wings on you and get you to catch fire.

But, you know, Gunther, you're proactively stop dropping and rolling.

So

the fire just

doesn't take.

It's just rolling.

There's no stop and dropping at this point.

That's right.

He's already stopped and dropped.

So it's just a roll at this point.

Yeah, good call.

And so he tries to take a bite at you.

you make me a constitution saving throw gunther eight oh okay so you take one point of piercing damage and you're still vulnerable to fire cool it's gonna get you uh all right that's all of them uh gunther it's your turn okay and then after gunther's told the non-fire demon and then private parts there's a lot of combatants oh yeah there are so there's the one that's on fire that just attacked me is the only one that's up near me right correct okay Can I get up?

Getting up what takes half your movement.

Yeah.

And then I want to use

second wind.

That's a bonus show available exclusively to

on Patreon and Beacon.

Check out more information at stinkydragonpod.com or beacon.tv.

Yeah, we're going to be talking about this episodes and all of our weird decisions.

Yeah.

Big shout out, Gunther.

Great job.

So I do a 1d10 plus three to heal.

Okay.

Yes.

That was a 10.

So that's a 13 healing.

Nice.

Gunther, you feel better about this.

You were feeling kind of down, but you got up, you dusted yourself off.

Things are looking up.

And then I'm going to try and attack that one that's closest to me.

That's like right there up on me.

Okay, go ahead.

15 to hit.

That's good.

That's successful.

Okay.

All right.

That is 10 piercing damage.

Nice.

You successfully connect and just like before, you manage to slice this one in half and it falls to the ground smoldering.

Nice.

So how far away is that fountain?

Pretty close.

Oh, you got pushed back by the wind, so you're a little further away than I thought.

Let's say 15 feet?

So it's like a jello.

It's not actually wet, wet.

I mean, is jello wet?

It's hard, but it's not ice.

Okay.

Well, I want to go ahead and, I guess, kind of move back closer to the team, if I can do so without provoking.

Yeah, you've got enough distance.

You should be able to move back

specifically because everyone's kind of like spaced out a little bit.

Like you're going back to where like where Doug and Naddy are.

Come to me, Gunter.

Yeah, move back towards them in case we want to make a tactical retreat or something to get out of the collapsing building.

Okay.

You regroup with your friends.

And that's it.

Okay, great.

That is Gunther toll of Europe.

Uh North America, South America, Africa, Australia.

We're talking about continents here?

No.

You said Europe.

It's a joke.

Oh, jeez.

Moving right along.

Do you have an inspiration die?

So I'm taking it away.

Yeah.

I don't, but I'll take one if you haven't.

I've been using mine like a good boy.

Haven't had to use mine.

I've rolled an at 20.

I don't usually give everyone else in the party an inspiration die except 12, just to stay to them.

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I'm just gonna start taking down the beams of the greenhouse so that I'm just good all it all comes down to all of us.

He's just swinging in a circle.

Gotta hide the evidence of anybody hearing that.

Zane geef just spinning around.

All right, so I'm face to face with two of the flying guys, right?

Yes, they are the flying ones that are on fire.

You guys are testing me, but I'm not going to rage.

All right, I'm going to try to hold it back.

Should I rage?

Why aren't you raging?

That's what I was saying.

I want to save the points.

Generally, as a barbarian, you want to rage at the beginning of combat.

I thought that this was like a whatever combat situation.

I didn't think it was going to be like the whole thing, you know?

And then now it's just like up to some cost where it's like 80.

Hey, Blaine.

Yeah.

You do you.

I rage!

Says the person who hasn't played a barbarian.

I'm just supporting my friend Blaine.

He can play however he wants to play.

Well, I rage.

Okay.

Got my goat.

You I'm mad now.

And then I'm going to use my Warhammer to attack whichever one looks stronger of the two guys that are flying around me.

They look the same.

The one that's flying lower.

No, I get the one with the high ground.

Okay.

Anakin.

No, you're smart.

Okay.

They stop attacking you for a second and bust out into an arm wrestling contest to determine which of them is stronger.

And the one on the high ground wins.

Oh, you go.

Congratulations, Eat Hammer.

I rolled a 12.

But because I'm raging, don't I get advantage or something?

Don't you get a reckless attack?

If you did reckless attack, you could, but don't worry, that hits.

Okay.

And then I do

bludgeoning.

Good lord.

That's a five.

But I get two points of melee damage, so it's seven.

All right.

Don't you get like a rage?

Didn't you have like electrical thing or something?

Yeah, but that's a bonus action.

I think initiating my rage is a bonus.

action.

It is.

Chris, wise about barbarians, also wise about trying to get multiple bonus actions in a turn.

Good thing I'm so honest.

Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if that's the right word, Gus.

Experienced.

Yeah,

you get so angry, Tov, and you swat at the higher flying demon that's on fire, smashing it with your warhammer, crushing it, and extinguishing the fire that was on its wings, and it's on the ground, unmoving.

Nice.

I'll understand if it's too much, but can I just yell at the other one to see if I can intimidate it?

Yelling's a free action.

You can do that.

Okay.

The nerd clusters spray out covering your face.

Told.

I love the idea of when you kill a bad guy, it just explodes with candy.

I love it.

It's like a piñata.

Whoever said that.

I love it.

It's a great analogy.

It's like, I actually just watched the suicide squad, and there's that moment where Harley goes on her rampage, and at one point, halfway through the fight, it's just flowers are flying out of everybody.

Yeah, so good.

That's a Harley Quinn.

That's a very good Harley Quinn sequence.

Yeah.

You were gonna yell, you said Tol?

I mean, yeah.

What's he yelling?

Oh,

you know, angry things.

Sounds something like this.

Ah.

How's that?

How's that going?

I guess I could roll a D20 to determine the level of yell.

Yeah, make an intimidation check.

Based on the intimidation check.

That's not bad.

That's a 19.

That's a good.

That's a good.

Yeah.

I stand by that.

Micah says it would be like, you who!

You,

you,

to the loo.

And who are you trying to intimidate specifically?

The one that had the low ground.

No, the high, the one, yes,

the low ground, the remainder.

Gotcha.

Is that it for you, Tolf?

Yeah.

I was going to see if I can cast one of those cool spells that they did where they were talking in tongues earlier, but, you know,

I've gone for too long, you know.

Okay.

Just stumble into magic words.

Domino's Marcos Little Caesars Papa Jones.

Alright.

It is going to be Private Parts turn here.

The battlefield has changed a bit since his last turn.

He surveys it, takes a couple of notes, and

Gunther, you've returned to the group over here.

He says, whatever you're going to do, Gunther, I have your back.

So for your next attack roll, you have advantage.

And I have your everything.

Was that guidance or something?

It's like a help.

It's like a help action.

Okay.

Which is an action we all can take.

Yeah.

That's it for private parts.

So that leaves Doug, and then after Doug is the nasty-speaking dwarf.

How close am I to that

human?

The human, yeah, she had the pickaxe.

She's, let's say, 10 feet away.

What was her name?

Gecko?

Gestapo?

No, there was, Grego was a dwarf.

Grego.

Yeah.

Oh.

That she she commanded to do something.

Right,

I don't think I said what her name was.

Oh, there's three of them, I forgot.

Right.

I want this, I want to take this pickaxe from her.

You know what, guys?

I think it's time to call in a little bit of help here.

Oh, oh, do you have a son, too?

I do, actually.

All right, guys, I've been working on this for a while, but I'm gonna call him in.

I'm gonna call in my steel defender.

Whoa, steel defender.

That sounds cool.

Doug, I guess, calls on his steel defender, who appears to be a small little metal mushroom.

What?

Guys, I would like you to meet Gambot.

Where does he come out of?

That's a great question.

Where does he come out of?

Like your purse?

You have like a satchel?

Yeah, like you pull him out of your pack, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I pull him out of my pack.

So you reach into your pack, rummage around, and you pull out a gambot.

A little robotic mushroom.

I'm imagining it's kind of like a metal disc that I put on the floor and it like.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Cool.

Like those little mega man

enemies.

Yes.

The little construction helmet ones.

And bear with me as I'm still learning about this thing.

But basically, he joins an initiative, I think, right after me.

Okay.

I'm putting him on the list.

I'm not sure how it works if I cast him like on my turn, if then he goes right after me or if it's like the whole round has to pass.

That's usually how

you cast him and he goes after you.

Okay.

As the resident expert of familiars and companions.

Thank you.

Yeah, that's, I actually.

I don't know barbarians, but I do know having a little buddy fight with you.

John's got a whole menagerie of little friends, little guys.

And then I think that's my action.

I think just like bringing him in is the action, unfortunately.

So he's just going to stand, I think, in between me and the human woman.

Okay.

And I say, hey, you think you could take us?

Well,

I bet that pickaxe that you can't.

I like Barbara's little like glance to the right and left to like see if this was working.

So yeah, I'm verifying it does take its turn immediately after yours.

It can move, use its reactions.

Oh, I can use a bonus action to command it as well.

Yeah.

What does he do?

So I want to command it to just take a strike at this woman.

Okay.

And I believe it is my spell attack modifier to hit.

So I see here, I'm trying to read up on it as well with you.

I haven't looked at it before, Barbara.

It looks like your steel defender can do a force-empowered rend, which is a melee weapon attack with a plus six ticket.

Wow.

Okay.

Does he have arms or he he just headbutt?

Oh, he just headbutt.

He doesn't have any arms.

Okay.

He's a real simpleton.

He got fast little legs.

Yeah, his speed is 40.

So like you put him down, he deploys, you say attack and you point and he like lowers his mushroom head and charges in.

Does he make a sound?

Yeah, what sound does he make as he's charging?

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Does it talk?

He's thirsty.

No, he can't talk.

But you talk for it.

I talk for him, yeah.

Hello, it's me, Gambot.

I am ready to attack you.

That's just Doug saying that and like giving a talking for his lips.

I like that.

He's got ventriloquism.

Put your lips to the bottom.

Roll a d20 and just add six.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

I can see you trying to figure out what to roll.

Thank you, Johnny.

You know me so well.

Yeah.

That'll be a 20 then to hit.

That hits?

Yeah.

So it puts its head down and impacts with the female holding the pickaxe and then it is one d8 plus two force damage so i'm gonna roll that d8

that's an eight plus two so ten uh points of force damage wow yeah she like she wasn't looking and paying attention so gambot sneaks up on her and hits her right in the shin ow

yeah you get him gambot

i almost imagine it's like a spring deployed head you know like it runs up and just goes you know like a battering ram or something yeah like something you'd see on robot wars he's got it all yeah he's really equipped he's got it all

all right is there anything else uh you can do doug nope that's it okay that's it for

wait to make uh gambot plush using it sued by nintendo yeah

no this one has a spring action head totally bad

and it's silver

friend way to go so proud of him okay this gardener is in bad shape good y'all are watching it and Giggy attacked, right?

Gigi's right next to

this one.

Okay.

It like looks warily at Gigi, and then you see it.

It's like really mind-boggling.

This gardener begins like shrinking.

Oh, well.

You're not going to want to do that around Gigi.

He eats small things.

Uh-oh.

I didn't even think about that.

We'll deal with that when we get there.

I haven't fed him today.

It begins shrinking and it lashes out at Gigi trying to make an attack with a dagger.

Let's see if it hits Gigi.

Better not stab my nephew.

Ooh, I rolled a two.

I think that's gonna be a miss.

That's gonna miss.

Who I thought.

Yeah, even with my modifier.

Yeah, that's no good.

Yeah, I know.

Micah just wrote, what's going on?

I mean, I don't know, Micah.

My rolls are chair.

It's one of those days.

I don't know.

I hacked Gus's DD Beyond.

I thought for sure I was gonna get a TPK this episode.

I was like, oh, I've got the deck stacked against me.

I've got so many guys on my side, and the rolls are just awful.

Not today.

All right, so it's tiny now.

That one's dead.

Natty, you're up after Natty.

It's the two gardeners.

Giggy is going to go first, if that's okay.

Oh, that's fine.

Yeah.

And I wish Gigi had.

Oh, man.

If he's in a beast form, he could take a bite, but he can't because I want him to bite this little person as much as possible.

But Gigi is going to claw them, is what Gigi's going to do.

Okay.

Because Gigi does not like being stabbed.

Technically, Gigi wasn't stabbed.

I missed.

Giggy doesn't like attempted stabbings.

Okay.

Attempted murder.

14 plus 4 to hit.

So that's 18 to hit.

That connects.

2d4.

That is 4 plus

4 plus 3.

That is 11 piercing damage.

Oh, they're also poisoned.

Do they poison have to happen something during their last turn?

Oh, the poison creature just has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks.

And I missed anyway, so that's fine.

Oh, okay, cool.

Yeah, 10 constitution saving throw, or they take more poison damage.

It doesn't matter.

The slashing from Giggy's claws rip the tiny gardener to bits, and it falls to the ground unmoving.

Good murder.

Giggy, look.

Gummy nerds.

I'm gonna eat gummy nerds after this.

Does Giggy begin eating?

Uh, Giggy takes a uh, starts kind of licking up a little bit of it.

Yeah, all right.

I need to know what Giggy thinks of Gambot at some point.

Hey, Doug, you brought a friend for Giggy.

Giggy needs playmates.

Please don't want to be delicate.

You know what, Doug?

I'll tell him.

That's the best I can say.

So, since this combatant is down, I can use my bonus action to move Hex over to someone else.

Sure.

Yeah.

I'll move it to the one holding the pickaxe.

Okay.

The female gardener.

The female human.

And so she has disadvantage on dex checks.

Disadvantage on dex checks

and will take extra damage when I use my eldritch blast on her.

Alright.

Which I roll a...

That rolled off my thing.

Ah, it's not going to happen.

That's an eight to hit.

Yeah, that's a miss.

Okay.

Did you say you had advantage on this roll?

No.

Okay.

That was last time when private parts was helping me, but now private parts is helping the frog.

Do you have advantage on this roll?

Nope, nope, nope.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, I have inspiration that I keep not using, so I'm gonna go and use it.

Why not?

All right, that's a 16 to hit.

Yeah!

Yeah, that hits.

Nice.

Much better.

Gonna roll a D10.

Oh, I was like, why does it say 70?

I rolled a D100, but that's seven.

Plus three so that's uh 10 uh force damage plus the necrotic which is a d6

um

uh d6 is uh so i rolled a one so that's only one necrotic damage and then they get blasted 10 feet back and take three more damage from the elder blast 14 points total and move back 10 feet Yeah.

She slams into a wall,

which causes more lumber to fall, but it's not close to any of you guys.

It's just going to affect her.

Yeah, that's what I was totally planning.

And then she dropped the pickaxe.

No, she's still holding on to the pickaxe.

Gang in.

She needs to make a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, she makes it.

She rolled 15.

So she's only going to take half damage.

She takes four points of bludgeoning damage from falling lumber.

She dies?

No.

Oh, okay.

She looks up, anger in her eyes.

The tree that Doug caught on fire, and then more

fiends came out.

I don't know if I want to ask this, but is Gigi near a different tree?

Gigi's not necessarily close to it.

Let's say Gigi's within 10 feet away of the next one over.

Can Gigi run in and jump into one of those trees?

Yeah, sure, why not?

Okay.

Little explorer.

Yeah.

Gigi's going to do that.

Alright, yeah.

We'll say the one on the far west, which I believe Gunther initially approached.

Okay, yeah.

And that is my turn.

Okay.

It's her turn, the woman with the pickaxe, who you have shoved over into the wall.

I wink at her.

Oh, she doesn't like that.

She looks at you and says, if I'm going down, you are too.

Uh-oh.

You can try.

Ominous.

She turns around and strikes the wall behind her, and the whole building begins collapsing all around you.

Uh-oh.

Big pieces of lumber and the wall fall down, begin knocking holes in the ground beneath you, and the whole ground begins to shake and eventually collapses.

You all fall into a dark cavern below.

You see four obelisks made of petrified wood glowing with fiendish runes, and you hear a boisterous yet posh voice say, I filmed this forest to its knees, and so shall you.

All shall tremble before the baron.

Find out who the Baron is and what that means on the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

Oh, a Baron.

That's so annoying when you like fight a boss and you think you got them and then they do that whole ground like crumble thing and you fall down.

You're like, oh, phase two.

Phase two.

Yeah.

Hey, do we know how this baron is?

Is it B-A-R-O-N or B?

What's the other Baron?

Like, Baron Ways?

No, no, no.

No one tell him.

No one tell him.

He needs to learn.

Is he red?

Does he have pizza?

Do I smell fresh oregano?

It's red baron pizza.

Find out which baron it is in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I'm just very hungry right now.

B-A-R-R-E-N.

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Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinging Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode, like Greg O'Liver, named after Oliver, Huna Muzik, named after Music Nerd07, voiced by Lauren Lance at Lauren Lark, Kiyodai, named after Kyodai, haha, get it.

The Baron, named after Shield Maiden, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at Hi Hello Hannah, Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.

This week's arrow question was submitted by Red Panda1316.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I just realized I made a mistake.

I'm about to rectify here.

Naddy, you gave this dwarf disadvantage on deck.

Oh, Dex checks, not Dex saves.

So I thought, okay, I thought maybe I had to roll that dex save again, but no, it's checked.

Okay, gotcha.

Almost Blaine and Christed there.

Okay, well, let's let's calm it down.

So funny.

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