C03 - Ep. 06 - Mission Through Middrus - Long Armory of the Law

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Afternoon, all you Anubians.

Swirl your way into the stinky dragon and imbibe our latest blend, One Night Sand.

It's a mixture of milk of haboob, a single grain of sine sand, a clothful of cloves, a summoning of anna seed, a swirling cinder of citrus, and blue glowing tea leaves.

One bottle of this beige beverage and you'll be the harbinger of doon.

Previously, our adventurers further explored the caves of the Cortege and found a frosty fragment from a forgotten froggy croakfolk.

Furthermore, they floated down a curious chasm, located a lost leg, and secured a sparkly spyglass.

Finally, they fertily foot-slogged up to a familiar fabrication, the armory.

But they are far from alone.

Pour yourself a potation and let's proceed with this pungent pop-by win.

He said haboob.

He did.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon.

I'm Gustavo Sorola, your dungeon master, and I'm highly caffeinated today.

Not one of those.

Yay!

Not like this.

Hey, this is what you get.

You interrupted the evil guy's monologue last time, so

this is your punishment.

This is what you're going to get.

I forgot about that.

I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

Is that it?

It ricocheted and missed or something?

Sure, did.

I'm not answering today's question.

Sorry, guys.

You're redirecting it.

That'd be such a messed up thing of like rolling a dice to see if we have to answer the question today.

Today's arrow submitted by Wizard Power 700.

What's the toughest challenge you have ever faced?

Don't everyone go that.

I know Wizard Power 700 seems powerful.

Don't worry.

I'm Wizard Power 900.

Wizard Power 700

sounds like a magazine that I would have subscribed to when I was a child.

Hello, everybody.

I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder.

I was about a half a breath away from saying mate again

just just don't say natty mate

the thought entered my brain i was like get get out of here okay

you already had your campaign

i gotta

it's like getting to the new year you know you have to just get used to saying 2024 2024 kind of thing

um i play natty wonder who is a drow warlock um level three right i'm not telling

did you level us up secretly Gus?

No, John just leveled himself up.

He's been grinding and off hours.

We have full control over our characters.

I could be level 10 if I wanted to.

You can't stop me.

What are you going to do?

I think they could.

I think they could, John.

I want to see how.

I want to see how.

What was the question?

I've just diverged.

What was the hardest challenge?

Your hardest challenge you've ever faced.

The toughest challenge you've ever faced.

I'm an answering this question.

Yes.

My hardest challenge is staying on point.

My hardest challenge will come to no surprise of anybody.

It involves my good, perfect, adorable, angelic little son, Mr.

Gigglesworth.

Well, I don't know if angelic would be the proper word to describe this God.

Beyond demonic, more like.

I know, and I almost, I almost went to like a Michigan accent there.

I went into Bobby's World mom right there.

Oh, it's one of those days.

Yes, Doug, I know that he can come across a little rough around the edges, but I know once you get to know him and love him the way that I do, you will see the little cherub that's on the end of my leash and holds my heart.

Oh, why?

Joey's still out, boy.

Let's see.

It was potty training, giggy.

Oh.

And by saying that that's my hardest challenge, it continues.

It's continuing to be my hardest challenge because I don't want to, you know, put rails around my son.

I want him to find his own way in this world, but it would just be nice if maybe once out of every five times he dropped a twosies, it was in a proper receptacle.

That would be a win for me at this point.

Where does he usually drop his twosies?

I mean, you know, you name it.

Well, I think, if I remember right, didn't Uncle Tov help with a cleanup in the last episode?

Or was that the one before?

Yeah,

there was a bit of an issue, and I think Tov had to step in and help you.

And you seemed really relieved about that now that I think about it.

Literally stepped in.

And sometimes they like, this is probably a little bit of that TMI,

but because of what he is, they're hot.

They're very hot.

They can burn them.

That's also just something I did not know that was going to be part of motherhood.

So do you pick it up just like show you with your hand then?

Or like, how do you clean up his messes?

Sometimes I just have to let it sit there and cool down for a bit until it turns into something that I can handle.

So that's why there's a hole burnt through a dog's bed.

It's like alien blood, xenomorph blood.

It is.

It's like the acid from a xenomorph.

Yuck.

Well, that's a great start to this episode.

Thank you, man.

That's what y'all get for being silent.

And let me go first, okay?

I'll go next.

Hello, hello.

It's me.

It's Blaine Gibson.

And I play...

Oh, wait, no.

Let me leave the room.

Oh, Blaine's coming.

Blaine leaves.

Yoohoo, it's me, Tov.

Oh, good to see you all.

Fresh, smiling faces, especially you, Dungeon Master.

You have a big coffee face right now.

So caffeinated.

So good for you.

Do you drink coffee, Tov?

This special arrow just for you.

Oh, wow.

Two arrows in one.

What a discount.

What is this?

Black Friday?

If it was, you would get great deals at store.stickydragonpod.com.

Tolv does not consume coffee.

It makes him too

jittery.

Uh, Blaine needs coffee right now, his girlfriend's on the way to get coffee, so midway through, you're gonna get to get like a sonic boost from Blaine.

You won't be able to tell the moment Blaine has his coffee in this episode.

You will, you will, I'll call it out.

Well, no, leave a comment when you think it happened.

Yeah, leave the time code.

You think I get my coffee, yeah.

You know, the hardest challenge that Tolv has had to face by far was uh, you know, it came second next to changing Gigi's diaper, um, but the most challenging challenge was readjusting to life on land.

Yeah, it's very hard.

You know, I live my life.

Is that why you were always just bracing one direction all the time?

Yeah, you know, I just so used to being on a boat, you know, singing songs and doing boat things on the high seas.

Singing songs like from one direction.

No, no.

Abba.

It's going to start being part of my head, Cannon, that you are not saying boat on mistake.

You are actually saying boat on purpose instead of ship.

And in fact, Tov came from just a tiny little boat.

It wasn't like a big old Viking ship.

No.

It was like,

it's just like his made-up friends.

Like, it's going to start being that way with me.

I love it.

I just thought you liked to dance and sway.

Yeah, yeah.

So, anyways, being back on land, very hard.

You know, after being on a

ship,

it feels wrong coming out.

My words.

I think you like that.

You say boats sound a lot more natural.

You do you.

I think the hardest challenge Tolv has ever had is distinguishing between boat and ship is what I'm doing.

I'm sorry.

I said the poopy diapers.

And then the boat.

Did you say what Tolv was?

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

I'm so sorry.

He's opening his thing right now.

I was looking up the Viking word for boat.

I am a male orc barbarian.

Three.

Three.

I like that he's looking up the Viking word for boat and not the Viking word for ship.

It's just classic.

I mean, it's just like head on a hat.

It's just so perfect.

I love it.

Oh.

I also, I know in our previous campaign, we always joked around about how small John's mouth would get when he was voicing Mateed.

Yeah.

But Blaine's mouth gets so big when he's voicing Cole.

He's enunciating like a pro is what he's doing.

It's like the opposite.

Yeah.

I could go next, I guess, since Chris is silent.

I'm still thinking.

We need to draw lots or something.

Oh, that's a good idea.

We could also just roll every time.

We could roll off.

Ooh.

Roll off each time.

Let's start doing that.

If we remember next time, let's have an initiative order next time we go.

That's a good idea.

Oh, I'll remember

three campaigns, and that's what we came up with.

I think if people are familiar with our show Behind the Screen, also available on our Patreon, we always roll initiative in that show to determine the order which people enter so we can incorporate something from behind the screen into the main show.

And what is behind the screen for those of our listeners who might not be familiar with the topics?

Barbara, thank you for asking.

What a great question.

It's a show we have available on our Patreon where we go like a little behind the scenes and talk about a variety of topics.

I think we've had topics about running campaign modules.

We had a different episode about improv, an episode about dungeon mastering.

So just kind of things you can put in your toolbox to help you run games or to even even like play games things that uh that we find useful

and if you'd like more information you can go to stinkydragonpod.com and I believe that show is available is that at our big stinker big stinker okay yeah big stinker level and above so yes go check it out it's just another piece of content we produce that if you like this show it's just more I think we even had one about us developing our campaign two characters which is really fun

just character creation in general you know like our kind of philosophies and and thoughts and our process and Mike had just reminded me and the audience gets to vote on the topics that we talk about uh we put that in the discord and so it's um it's things that people in the community actually want to hear about that we will talk about yes absolutely you're saying this is a democracy

tbd hello everyone my name is barbara dunkelman and i play

hello john good to see you um i play doug boon the uh bugbear artificer also level three hi doug hello gush nice to see you again on this fine fine morning.

I hear you're having some coffee.

Yeah, I just finished my fourth cup.

I think I'm going to be a little jittery.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Is that a lot of coffee?

Wow.

That's a lot.

You all are in for it.

Doug is more of a fan of, sometimes he drinks a little bit of green tea, sometimes maybe like a matcha latte.

Delicious.

He actually has a couple of contraptions that he's built that actually could brew it for him in the morning without him even having to do anything.

That sounds right up Doug's alley, like making a little contraption for that.

I love it.

Except it's not like what we're thinking in our head of like a uh keurig it's like those little uh

conveyor belt machines from like the opening of like honey i shrunk the kids like peely herman yeah

goldberg machine oh yeah also sorry to pop in here it's it's tolb again did you

did you say green tea green tea yeah okay okay i just wanted to make sure the w was where it was supposed to be not the r i take the r's you take the w's anyways

sorry.

Oh, thanks, Tolf.

Thanks for the insight.

How do you say green tea?

Green tea.

Oh, that's very, that's very crispy.

I like it.

And the biggest challenge Doug has had to face, is that the question?

Toughest challenge.

Yeah.

Well, this is a little more broad, but, you know, the biggest challenge Doug's had to face was...

Back when he lived with, you know, his community, his family, and he felt like he really didn't fit in.

And so, you know, Doug had to do a a lot of kind of blending in and trying to be someone he was not around these people.

And so that was really tough for Doug.

So now that Doug's been a little bit more on his own, it's been a lot more comfortable for him.

And, you know, it feels like he could truly be himself.

And I think he's starting to feel that way around his team as well, surprisingly.

He's not used to feeling this kind of connection.

And so, yeah,

up and up for Doug.

Oh, good.

Go B team.

Yeah, sounds like things are going good.

Daya gives her toughest challenges to her

strongest

hardest challenges to her strongest warriors.

Who's Daya?

Yeah, who's Daya?

Oh, oh, no.

We don't do Daya here.

Daya is not a thing here.

Yeah, we don't do Daya here.

And also, Doug has faced some other challenges that he's not really ready to open up about yet.

What are you, Gunter?

Don't you have your own god, Tov, like a god of the sea?

I'm looking him up.

What's he saying?

We haven't connected in a while.

I kind of ghosted him.

He's just so proud he remembered a name from two campaigns ago.

Well, it sounds like things are in the upswing, Doug, and I'm happy for you.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks, guys.

It's good to be here.

Speaking of being here, I'm here.

I'm Chris Daimaris.

What?

Chris is here?

And I'm playing Gunther.

He's a male Croakfolk Frog fellow,

level three fighter.

Hardest challenge is

there's two.

Number one would be

being forced to leave my family and community behind.

It looks like we have got the opposite problem.

And leaving everything I love and cherish.

The other is one time I there was a bargana.

cacti.

Oh.

I went after it.

It is wrapped around and then I was on my tongue.

My tongue was so wrapped around with thorns.

Oh, is that why you got that cool tongue piercing?

That was a, I was stabbed.

Oh, deal.

That smarts.

But also, the cacti did not help.

Do not do it.

I promise I will never try to catch a bug on a cacti ever.

Gunter.

You have my word.

Good.

Tolv takes the cactus away that he was about to taste.

Okay.

I will say, while

someone was giving an answer, I don't know if it was Tollv or Natty.

Chris started reaching off camera.

Like he had to to take his headphones off to grab something and i thought he was when he pulled it into camera to put it away i thought he had grabbed a burrito like a breakfast burrito and was about to eat it but it was like a i guess like a dog chew uh it must be a toy for your dog and you were getting it away from him i was like oh okay it's not a burrito yeah did you see him also i put it up on a shelf and did you see him like trying to jump up on the shelf and

like stay down because he's chewing it too loudly meanwhile at blaine's house look at that dog he's a sleepy dog in the back Just see his little face back there.

No more dogs, more DD.

DD stands for dogs and dogs.

It's D and D and D.

I would go Dungeons and Dragons and Dogs, but we can do Dogs and Dogs.

Just Dungeons and Dogs.

Yeah, Dungeons and Dogs.

No, I don't want the dogs in dungeons.

That's right.

And dogs.

And he kills them.

He puts them in a dungeon.

Listen, we're going to have a talk about that because that seems to have really bothered me.

Good.

Let's do it.

Great.

I've been listing off all of my reasons why I did not like it and it made Torv uncomfortable.

Now, it seems to be that you have

maybe a different relationship with what death is than what I do.

Okay.

And so I totally understand how, from your perspective, that probably came across as shocking.

Yeah.

I mean, I think you actually shocked them with your spell, yeah.

Well, it's not, it's not, it's not electric.

The eldritch blasts are different.

Oogie, woogie, woogie.

No, it's just when Gunther had pointed out that if we left them there, they were going to die a painful death.

I embrace the change of what death.

Death isn't the end.

It's just a change to the next.

And I have a good relationship with death.

And so I just,

I was helping those dogs in that way.

But you know what?

I understand that without context and without discussing it, that was probably a little out of line there, Tolf.

So I'm sorry.

I accept your apology.

Guys, I think that Natty's in a death cold.

Let's continue on with the adventure.

We find ourselves in a sticky situation.

Well, not just you.

I don't know about this.

We.

Okay.

Yeah, that sounds like a you problem, Tolf.

Help.

Gunther, I recall from two episodes ago you said you liked eating glue.

Go to work.

Go to work.

Oh, yeah.

Good memory, because I did not remember.

You You bring your Warhammer down, splintering the wood on the top of the chest, and as you do so, some kind of sticky substance fires out, coating you, Cole.

That sticky substance shoots out?

It's probably like a booby trap, maybe.

Or like some type of defense of whatever's in this chest.

Yeah, as you're standing there, you feel like it's more and more difficult to move, and you're becoming adhered to the floor, Cole.

Uh-oh.

Guys, I made a mistake.

Guys.

Oh,

no.

You did did precisely what you needed to do.

Out from behind one of the racks steps the magistrate.

Exactly as planned.

Oh, how foolish of you.

You've delivered the scale of scales right into my hand.

Natty shoots him while he's talking.

All right, well, I guess we ended that last episode with Natty firing off an Eldritch Vlast.

So let's start this episode with it.

Why don't you go ahead and roll, see if that hits, Naddy?

Yeah.

That's 21 for hit.

Yeah!

Yes, that hits.

And that's a D10 plus 3.

Did we roll initiative at any point?

No, he just started with this.

Okay.

In the middle of the Magistrate speech, he did this.

So I'm giving him this, and then we'll switch over to Initiative.

Fair.

9 or 6.

That's a 9.

There's a line.

9 plus 3 is...

12.

Struggling with those dice today, John.

It's because

I couldn't see if the line was there of like underneath the at the bottom of the nine or the bottom of the six i need to turn a light on my room actually you're right i was just actually looking up what kind of damage is uh eldritch blast oh a minute force force damage nice i was just curious not electricity not electricity

12 points of force damage okay the eldritch blast flies through hitting the magic fate for 12 points of damage he groans stares at you natty and murmurs I hold you in contempt.

Okay.

Everyone roll initiative.

Hold up.

I forgot.

There's actually two more things that happen when I do Eldritch Blast.

Plus three damage to that because of Agonizing Blast, which is an Eldritch invocation I have.

And then he also moves 10 feet away from me in the direction I shot him because of Repelling Blast, which is another one of my invocations.

Okay.

So he is just north of you in the armory.

Did they die?

Does that mean we no longer have to roll initiative?

Look at me.

Was the three?

Was the three enough?

Did that put it over the top?

Did they fall out of the window?

No.

Okay, rolling initiative.

Yeah, everyone roll initiative.

That's a good question, Tol.

Thank you.

Seven.

You bet.

14.

15.

15 as well.

Who's hired up?

What is you all's initiative?

15 decks.

16 decks.

Okay.

So it goes Tolf, Natty, Gunther, Doug.

Yes.

Exactly the opposite of how I'd written all your names down.

So great.

Thanks, guys.

Exactly opposite.

Thanks.

Yes, clearly, really planned.

Yeah.

I was like, I'm going to be smart.

I'm going to write down their names alphabetically because it's only random and you still manage to do it.

All right.

The magistrate rolled a two.

Let me see if he has any modifiers on that.

So he goes last.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Told.

Oh, yeah, told.

You're first, but you are kind of stuck in a bunch of glue in front of the chest.

What do you want to try to do?

Yeah.

How stuck is Told?

I mean, can he swing his arms around or is he...

Is it just feet or is everything paralyzed?

Yeah, is this I guess getting into the meta is my speed reduced or am I like prone?

You have the status effect restrained in DD.

You can toggle that in your character sheet.

So when you're restrained, your speed becomes zero, so you can't move.

Attack rolls against you have advantage, and your attack rolls have disadvantage.

And you also have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws.

Ooh, really taking it easy on me today, aren't you?

Don't put this on me.

You're the one who went up and smashed the chest.

I'm trying to speed things along, okay?

It was a haboobi trap.

Is there something you could do, Toll, to deal with the glue?

Let's see.

Ooh, what can I do?

I'm stuck in glue again, oh, gee whiz.

Again, you could let the magistrate win.

Just throwing that out there, it's an option.

That is an option, okay.

Taking that into consideration.

No bad ideas.

Can I, um, I'm trying to think of a creative way to get out of the glue, but I can't.

Like, did I just, can I just get out of the glue?

Can I pull the glue off of of me?

You can try.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna try to pull this glue off of me.

It's sticky and it makes me feel claustrophobic.

Okay.

Tolf.

Make a, let's call it a strength check.

Strength check.

That's good.

He's a barbarian.

15.

Oh!

That's pretty good.

That works, in fact.

Is your save different than your check?

You rolled a strength save, and I just wanted to make sure you were getting the full use of your modifiers.

Oh, it's plus five.

Strength is plus three.

Sorry.

Was it a a saving throw or was it a check?

I'm sorry.

Third campaign.

We'll figure it out eventually.

Roll that again.

It's a 23 if you want to take that.

No, no, I'm just going to reuse that original.

Meet me at the table here, Gus.

13.

You rolled a 13.

What if I use my inspiration die and then I retroactively use the 23?

No, no, no.

Okay, okay.

I'm pulling your leg.

You,

you know, you put your hammer down for a second to begin pulling at the glue, and you begin getting some pretty decent chunks of it out.

I'll say that you free yourself so you will no longer be restrained and you can move on your next turn, but you use your action to free yourself on this turn.

Yeah, I figured.

Okay, then I used my bonus action to say, go, team!

You can do it!

Woohoo!

Wait, can I rage?

Is that a bonus action?

That is a bonus action.

It is bonus.

Yeah, but you have to get attacked by the end of this round for it to maintain, right?

I think as long as he attacks on his next turn.

Oh, is that how it works?

Because if he does it at the end of this turn, I think it's like a whole round.

I didn't want to stop you from doing anything.

I just want to make sure you didn't waste any rage things because I want you to have all your rage you have because it's very important.

Full transparency.

I'm also confident I'll get attacked.

This guy didn't like me.

I don't know if you're a king.

You're also in glue, so he might try to attack you.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

I believe you get advantage on strength-based rolls while you're raging.

So if you'd raged and then tried to get out of of the glue, you might have had a better chance.

That's why I'd message you that.

Lessons learned.

What when you messaged him that?

Why don't you just say it?

Well, it was after he already done it, and so it didn't really.

Uh-oh.

It's because he doesn't want to get called out for metagaming.

Listen, if you get a DM behind you, your DM, then I get a little guy behind me, my little guy.

I don't want to go to the Council of Barbarians because it's like Barbara, Blaine, and Chris are like...

Council of Barbarians!

That is awesome.

Don, you know you have to play one next campaign.

I I feel like I don't, now with that in mind, I don't want to because I want to let you guys just be the Council of Barbarians and I'll just be the other guy.

I don't think much would get done.

What do the Council of Barbarians even discuss?

Do we rage?

Only favor of raging say R.

Thank you, Elligus.

What's new in rage this year?

It's all the rage, Gus.

Council of Barbarians sounds like a podcast of boys that I wouldn't want to watch.

First order of business, gum gum.

You've got to clean up after yourself in the public toilet.

It's like what we do in shadows, but just barbarians in a house together.

That's really funny.

Sounds like a new reality show.

I'd watch that.

Sounds like some good Patreon bonus content.

There you go.

So we'll say that the rage thing is fine.

I think strictly by the letter of the rule, you would have to attack or get damage this round, but it's fine.

It's whatever.

And again, not setting a precedent.

Just saying this now in case it comes up again later.

Okay, can't wait to make the shirt that's not setting a precedent so that Gus can wear it all the time.

I'll just point to the shirt.

Thank you, most honorable Gus.

All right, is that it for you, Tolf?

Yeah.

Okay.

I still cheered the team on, though.

I just want to make sure that's clear.

Yeah, very clear.

It's very clear.

Yeah.

Okay.

Is your mouth covered in glue, though?

So

no, he got all the glue off.

Oh, that's what Gus gave him.

I'm going to let you out of secret.

If you rolled poorly, I was going to say your hands were going to be stuck in the glue, too.

And you were going to be, like, double restrained.

Okay, that's it for Tolf.

Natty, you are up.

Yeah.

Natty is going to.

Natty's going to turn to Giggy.

He's like, Giggy, do you want to try that move we've been working on?

And Gigi turns back and he's like,

Natty

Dipsword muffled herself.

Yeah, it sounded like terrible through Discord, but that was hilarious.

Natty grabs Giggy's leash and starts kind of like spinning around like a shot put thrower.

Cool.

And then let's go and releases Gigi at the magistrate.

Your son is a weapon?

Heck yeah.

He's very powerful and he's a good boy.

I don't see.

Have him poop on him.

It's hot.

It's hot.

He just went.

It's not on his actions list or I'll never totally do that.

Maybe we can level up Giggy and give him that.

You know the bad guy in Matilda Trench Bull or whatever?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You did that thing.

He did that thing.

With the hair.

So, Giggy,

how far away is the magistrate?

Oh, that's a question.

Let me open up the map.

Sorry.

Now that he moved 10 feet away from me.

Open up that map a straight.

I'll let myself out of here.

Get out.

Plus 10 feet is about 30 feet away.

Okay.

Can Gigi do a claw attack on the magistrate?

Absolutely.

Okay, as he flies at the magistrate.

I can't tell Giggy what to do.

Okay.

Don't put Gigi in a corner.

Nobody puts it.

Then I'm going to roll for a claw attack, which is plus 40.

Hit.

I rolled 13, so 17.

That is a hit.

It takes 1d4.

It's 3 plus 3, so 6 piercing damage.

And the target must succeed on a DC10 constitution saving throw or take some poison damage and become poisoned.

Okay, I've got a plus one to constitution, so I need to roll a nine or better.

Cool.

Roll a six.

Even worse, I rolled a two.

So that's a fair

poison.

That's two d4 poison damage.

One plus 2.

So 3 poison damage, and you are poisoned for 1 minute.

Target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success.

Doug sees this happening and goes, you know, to yourself, never upset geeky.

Or yaddy.

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Okay, so yeah, Natty sends Giggy flying at the magistrate, claws first, and I like to think that Giggy like attaches to the magistrate's face and just begins going to town

before hopping off.

Just a cat being dropped on someone's face.

That's what it is.

I didn't even think this through just because I thought it'd be fun to do this.

Is that my action that I threw the child?

I think that's an action.

Okay.

I mean, you did something.

Chris, you sound different today.

No, that's fine.

It's true.

You get an inspiration, Dog.

I already got one.

Who needs it?

Barbara.

Bonus action, I'm going to cast Hex on

Magistrate, which I should have done beforehand, but I'm new to being a warlock.

All right.

You place a curse on a creature you can see within range.

Until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1d6 necrotic damage to the target whenever you hit it with an attack.

And I also get to choose one ability when I cast a spell.

The target has disadvantage on ability checks made with the chosen ability.

Constitution.

Wait.

Disadvantage.

Can I make requests?

What?

You gotta say this gun through, though.

Yeah.

Okay, okay, yeah.

Either

wisdom or

strength.

Why?

Because

it'll make him fall.

Fine.

I'm a team player.

This is Natty saying yes and

strike.

Alright, disadvantage on strength checks.

End of turn.

Alright, so that was Natty's turn.

That means Gunther, you're up after Gunther is dug.

Gunther.

Alright, how far away is Gunther from him?

You're probably the same as Natty.

I'd say roughly you all are about 30 feet away from the magistrate.

All of you.

And how close to each other?

Just for my reference?

I pictured you all were like side by side looking because y'all were looking at the chest.

We came through that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When Gunther, when Told hit it.

So 30 feet specifically.

Okay.

All right.

Well, Gunther's going to move the 25 feet walking speed that he has

forward

and then going to

use

his...

Gonna throw out a hand axe.

Okay, just so you know, if he's 30 feet away and you move 25 feet, you're in the square next to him.

So that's enough?

He is within melee range, yes.

Okay, well then he'll do that and

then make an attack with his sword.

Alright.

No, no, Gunther, put your phone away.

Now's not the time to be using that.

Ah, that's not a good role.

The app question.

Yeah.

That was a 10.

Mmm, a 10 is a miss.

Giggy starts laughing at you.

Inspiration die.

Wait!

I don't have one.

You give it to Burb.

I kill the five.

He does laugh at him.

Here, take this.

Don't eat it.

Don't eat it.

Can he do that?

Does that okay, guys?

What?

Give an inspiration die?

Yeah, like that.

Yeah, I think what we said before, I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want to slow things down, but I think what we had said before was that you can give the inspiration die if the person's going to use it immediately.

So like when you gave it to Doug earlier, that was like, nah, whatever.

But yeah, I think this is this is the perfect use case.

Like, if the person, if you're going to give it and they use it immediately, absolutely.

But, big asterisk here: Tolf, what do you do to inspire Gunther?

Oh,

I say,

uh, uh,

perfect.

No, no, no, no, I'm trying to think of a stupid law pun because I had so many when I was Sawyer, and I'm trying to think of those.

Yeah, I lost it.

I don't know.

Go get him, Gunther.

You can do it, Frogman.

Stab him with your sword, your long sword that is like one inch long.

I don't know.

Yeah, thank you.

I'll do it, or shall perish trying.

Oh, no, don't do that.

I really hope I.

All right, yeah, go ahead.

You feel inspired.

All right, 24.

24.

The magistrate looks at you, Gunther, and just says, Overruled.

Roll again.

Again.

Alright.

That ability is broken.

How dare you use it?

I feel like she hasn't taken a long rest since using the three luck points he used on Toll last time.

Who's to say it's luck that he has?

Oh.

Yeah, when Gus said it's something like luck.

It's like lucky.

It's not quite the same.

It sucks!

That's what it is!

What about a 19?

A 19?

Yeah, alright, fine.

You're not blame.

I'm not going to use every single

option I have on you.

Alright, and then I also want to use Trip Attack with that.

When you hit with a weapon attack, you can spend one superiority die to add the total to the damage roll.

And if the target is large or smaller, it must make a strength-saving throw.

On a failure, you knock the target prone.

That's why I wanted the strength thing.

Okay, but that's a saving throw.

He has disadvantage on checks.

We can fudge the numbers.

We can fudge the wording, right?

Dang it, Chris.

I had it set for Constitution, so you at least stay poisoned.

And I changed it for you.

That's okay.

This is part of the montage where we're improving.

You know, we made a goofum up, but we'll come back stronger.

Yeah, this is the first fight where we do bad.

Yeah, so then it shows how cool we are later.

It's like second,

you know.

You all fought the Demongrels.

This is like our first fight against the magistrate.

I was about to say, I thought we just locked them up and then shit.

No, no, no.

I don't want to talk about it.

All right, go ahead and let's roll your damage and we'll figure out the rest of the other stuff.

Alright, damage.

Come on.

That's 11 plus the superiority die, which is so that's 16.

Ooh, 16 points of damage.

You do a lot of damage, Gunther.

Thank you.

And then, what kind of saving throw do I need to make?

That's strength.

The magistrate has a plus one on strength, so what's the number I need?

The DC?

14.

14.

So I need a 13 or better.

Roll a two again.

10.

11.

All right, great.

All right, so he's prone now.

Whoopsie.

Oh my god.

I hate you guys.

Alright, so he is prone.

Writing that down.

Poisoned and prone.

Great.

Awesome.

Wouldn't it be funny if we killed him right now?

He seems like a pretty big bad guy.

Yeah, love it.

Well, we don't have to kill him because I'd still like to question this guy so we can do the thing where it's like we take him down to incapacitate.

Court.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Is that it for you, Gunther?

That is it.

All right.

Gunther is done.

That means it is Doug, then the magistrate, then back to the top with Toll.

Okay.

I see all my all my uh fellow teammates fighting so i'm gonna do i'm gonna try to do some damage too

okay

yeah

all right i got this you got it don't worry doug you can figure this out i can figure this out all right doug's gonna cast firebolt

at the magistrate

20 uh yeah that hits So I also want to point out, and I'll do this after I roll my damage, but Doug has something called surprise attack.

Um, if I hit a creature with an attack roll, the creature takes an extra 2d6 damage if it hasn't taken its turn yet.

Oh,

that's why you're asking where he is in the order in combat specifically.

Um, so it's three damage from the firebolt, and then 2d6, and then 2d6.

Okay, uh, and that's an additional seven, so it's ten total.

Does it look to be like extra effective on him?

Extra effective.

I wouldn't say that necessarily, It seems pretty standard based on your experience with it.

And then after this, Doug says, At this time, the defense rests this case.

Oh, that's good, y'all.

I love it.

Wait, so were you asking that because it's Firebolt?

And would they be immune or would they be open?

Like vulnerable to it?

I don't know.

Well, the magistrate's a what?

Demongrel.

Do we know what kind of creature?

He's not a demongrel.

A fiend.

A fiend.

A fiend.

Okay.

He's no fiend to me.

All right.

That's it for you, Doug?

Yes.

That's it.

Okay.

And I'm going to stay where I am.

Alright.

It's finally the magistrate's turn.

The magistrate rises to his feet, and you hear him say, Let's set the record straight.

And he's going to...

I guess Gunther's.

Gunther and Geeky are in his face.

He's probably going to go after Gunther because Gunther did more damage.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, he didn't like my 10-hole damage points from my.

Well, you're further away.

He's looking at the enemies right in front of him.

Well, it's because he spent his movement speed on getting up because he knocked his butt down.

Yeah, that too.

Don't act like you don't.

You're going to take on the guys around you because you want to.

It's because you have to.

All right.

He'll go for you next.

Do it.

I know.

That's just Blaine trying to draw aggro.

He's trying to get at me.

No.

I just bet you can't hit me from all the way over there.

All right, so the pitcher's got a big butt.

The magistrate winds up with his hammer and tries to bring it down on Gunther, hitting AC.

I'm imagining it makes like a squeaky toy noise anytime somebody

so 15 plus 5 hits AC 20.

That will hit, believe it or not.

All right, the mallet comes down on you, doing eight points of damage.

Oh.

And you must make a wisdom saving throw.

Wisdom?

Yeah.

Jokes on you.

Gunther's the wisest of us all.

Go ahead and show him, Gunther.

10.

Okay, never mind.

He's not unwise.

He's got a plus one.

Yeah.

As the magistrate strikes you, Gunther, he says, you can't handle the truth.

And you take some additional psychic damage.

Jack Nicholson, cool.

Oh, guys.

So I've seen legally blonde.

Someone just has to dress in pink and then really tell him with what.

I noticed.

Six points of psychic damage, Gunther.

So 16 total?

Yes.

Ouchies.

That's nothing.

That's nothing to him.

He can take more.

I mean, he can.

I mean.

Alright, so I think the magistrate hears you

and says, that pleases the court.

And he winds his mallet up and takes another swing at Gunther.

Sorry, Gunther.

With friends like Tov, why do you need enemies?

Oh, that's only an eight.

Okay.

That misses.

And you know what?

I repost.

When a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use your reaction and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon attack against it.

Melee.

Superiority die to attack Simon Draw on him.

Every single word he's missing.

Or the first time he's ever said that word out loud.

That frog's not good at reading, but he's good at attacking.

It's okay.

I called it Super Smash Brothers mealy as well because I've never heard of it before.

Can't wait to eat this delicious mealy.

Can I do that, Gus?

Yeah, absolutely.

All according to Toll's plan.

It'd be funny if after all that you went no.

Does a 14 hit?

Yeah, a 14 does hit.

Yay!

You know what?

Nah,

throw it again.

Oh, man.

Sneaky.

God, that's snowing.

It is, right?

10.

No, that doesn't get.

Sorry.

Come on.

As you repost and miss, the magistrate says, I hold you in contempt.

You already said that one.

You see that?

Did I know that?

In that case, he says, You are excused.

Okay, bye-bye.

Does that mean I can go?

I mean, be on your turn?

On your turn?

You can't.

Alright, so that was it for you.

That was your reaction to him.

Yeah.

He attacked twice, he hit once, missed the other one.

He's got...

I have two options here.

I'm just trying to wait which one is the best in this situation.

Go with option two.

Option two?

Okay.

Option two.

In that case, the magistrate looks at Tolv.

You remember this stare, Tolv.

He's done this to you once before.

You hoo!

And a cloud of smoke crackles over your head.

Make me a wisdom saving throw, Tolv.

Wisdom saving throw.

He's poisoned, right?

He should have disadvantage on his attack rolls.

Did you do that?

Oh, since only the first one hit, let me reroll that.

New evidence, Your Honor.

I pretend

with a gibbet A.

Exhibit A.

The defendant was poisoned.

The 17.

So I think the other one was a 20.

So that's.

My armor class is 17.

Yeah.

So it matches us.

Damn.

Wisdom.

Oh, yeah.

So make me a wisdom saving throw.

Okie-dokie.

Oh, that's a 19.

Oh!

Why do you look so frustrated, Gus?

What's wrong?

The cloud of smoke dissipates over your head.

Someone farted.

It wasn't me.

Gus is going to enjoy killing 12 of these games.

I think that's my turn, is it not?

Sorry, yeah, just replying to one thing here.

He's texting his mom saying, come pick me up.

My friends are being mean.

So that's all the magistrate can do.

He's going to roll that check to see if the poison clears.

DC10, I believe he needs a 9 or better.

17, 18.

So yeah, the poison leaves the magistrate's system.

He feels much better.

Roll it again.

Do you have lucky?

You don't have lucky.

That's just Blaine telling you to roll it again.

But he is still hexed and does still have disadvantage on strength checks.

All right, that is it for

the magistrate, which means we go back up to the top with Tolt.

And then after Tolt, it's Natty.

A number one.

No more glue on me.

I'm coming for ya.

So I'm gonna move 25 feet towards the magistrate.

You move up where Gunther and Giggy are.

And then I pull out my Warhammer, and it's two-handed because I've got no shields on me to hold me down.

Yeah.

And I strike.

And that is is a.

His head is in his hands, ladies and gentlemen.

A one, but you're a plus five, so even if that's a six.

You know, it's not, it's not nothing.

But yeah, it's a one.

Does anybody got a vote?

Does anybody got a vote?

You gave all your inspiration tie one day.

He was so cute.

Anybody got inspiration?

Could I, I mean, I know that he probably gave it to me under circumstances that aren't allowed, but could I give the inspiration die that Polve got back to him?

Yes.

And this is the the case where I think it applies where you can give it and someone immediately uses it.

Okay.

There you go.

So according to the rules, Tolv should have never been able to give it in the first place.

So it's his anyways.

Thank you, Barbara.

Okay, I roll it in.

17.

Yay!

There you go.

And then I get bonus set.

Do it, do it, guys.

Do it, guys.

Oh, no, no.

Thinking about it.

There was three lucky points for

Kyborg.

Yeah, I'll let this one hit.

I'll let this one stand.

I feel bad.

I can't talk trash now.

What do I do?

All right, so I'll roll damage.

Yeah.

Also, because I'm raging, I gain advantage on strength checks and saving throws plus two melee damage with your strength weapons.

Mm-hmm.

That was an eight, plus three, that's 11, plus an additional two because I'm raging.

So that's 13.

Okay.

Plus, I have the star mura of the sea.

You gain a 10-foot aura effect when you start your rage as a bonus action on each of your turns.

When activated, one creature of your choice is in your aura, takes lightning damage.

Dexterity, DC 13, half damage on success.

Based on your level, I'm level 3, so that's 1d6.

All right, so DC 13, what kind of save was it?

A dex.

Dex.

All right, you got it, dude.

Dex is plus one, so I need a 12 or better.

Roll like a three if you could.

Oh, how about a 19?

So that is a plus one, 20.

That is a successful save.

So I'll roll a d6 and cut it in half.

It's a six.

That's not bad.

I'll still take it.

Three points of damage.

All right.

Lightning.

So 16 points total.

Yeah, the magistrate kind of leans in a little bit to you, Toll, and asks, could we have a sidebar?

Oh,

are you asking?

Or is this another catchphrase?

Because I'll talk.

I'll talk.

You need more circuit training.

My gavel's bigger than yours.

What?

Circuit was because electricity because...

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

You know how those jokes are always better.

You need more circuit training

than a wink at Gunther.

Circuit is also a court thing.

That's what I was getting at.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like a meaning.

It's good.

It's good.

It's not bad.

Anyways, who's attacking that?

It's my turn now.

I'm just going to

wait for this conversation to him.

Yeah, same.

Yes, that was both my attack, my movement, and my bonus action.

Okay.

I rest my case.

Natty, you are up, and then after Natty is Gunther.

Okay.

Natty!

Natty's just going to crack her knuckles and do what she does best and just send out an Eldritch Blast to hit this judge.

Woo!

Yeah!

15.

Yeah, that hits.

Okay.

6 plus 3.

That's 9 force damage.

Plus 3 damage.

Because the Agonizing Blast, I'm going to not push him away this time.

Okay.

But I also forgot that I have another thing.

Genie's Wrath.

Once during each of your turns, when you hit with an attack roll, you can deal an extra two thunder damage to the target.

Ooh.

So two thunder damage as well.

Oh, I have a question.

The court recognizes Chris Damaris.

If he was to be pushed away by Eldritch Blast, would that invoke an opportunity attack?

Ooh.

I don't know.

Oh,

you're the one who's supposed to tell us.

I don't know.

It's not the answer we usually get from Gus.

No, it's forced movement.

That's not on his turn.

So it does not trigger.

Gotcha.

Okay.

I like where your head's at, Gunther.

Min-max it.

It is underneath his hammer.

That was 100% Chris.

That was not Gunther.

Do not address Gunther.

That was Gunther.

Oh, he also takes necrotic damage because of the hex.

So two necrotic damage.

God, it's like little by little.

It's like not any one thing does a ton of damage, but it's just like this and this and this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If he's a fiend, is he like immune to necrotic damage?

Also, what's your stance on us googling that?

Probably opposed to it, right?

No, do not Google it.

That's uh, that's definitely metagaming.

Why don't you make it?

I will say, I will say, technically, Gigi is a fiend, and Geeky is not immune to necrotic damage.

But I don't know if that's a fiend thing for everybody.

Doug,

why don't you make me a let's call it a history check?

Okay, sorry to interrupt.

I just need to do a quick history check.

It's okay, read your book, Doug.

It's cool.

That's a 23.

Oh.

You don't think that fiends, especially because you know about Gigi, you don't think fiends are inherently resistant to that as a damage type?

Yeah.

As your Elder Splash strikes the magistrate, it kind of knocks him down a little bit.

Then he looks up at you, Natty, and says, you remind me of a baker I once knew.

They love to receive just desserts.

He's getting meta.

You laid a lot of track on that one there, magistrate, but you got there.

And then can Gigi take an attack?

Yeah.

Okay.

Then Gigi's going to do another claw at the face.

And he's going to roll a...

Oh, that's a 13.

Yeah, that's a miss.

Okay.

Then Gigi just

licks him instead.

Aw, sweet.

No, but like just like

just like all over him.

I picture Gigi's tongue is like a cat's tongue.

It's got like it's like super rough.

Yeah, but it's rough both ways, no matter which direction you you look.

I hate it.

I hate it weird.

Did we proc the blinded condition with Giggy's drool?

Not kidding anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then that'll be it for me.

All right.

That's it for Natty.

That means Gunther is up.

And then after Gunther is Doug, and then the magistrate.

Oh, that was a Mate reference.

Yes, Blaine.

We got there.

We got there.

I want to use my bonus action to second wind myself Once per short rest, I can use bonus action to regain 1d10 plus 3 HP.

Okay.

I second wind myself.

Also, the name of our bonus show, if you go to stinkydragonpod.com, Second Wind is the show we put out every other week all about what happened in each episode of Tails from the Stinky Dragon.

Yeah.

He's good.

He's good.

Available at every level on the Patreon at stinkydragonpod.com.

That's not much.

Oh, well.

Two plus.

I think it's a lot.

It's a lot of value.

It's a lot of value, Chris.

Our Patreons are great.

Oh, sorry.

I think I'll take my

five HP.

All right.

And then, for my action, I'm going to attack.

Okay.

Stabby.

Do it.

I dare you.

Boom.

He's daring you.

You've got to do it now.

Oh, 25.

Rip it.

Let it roll.

Let it roll.

Okay.

Yay.

And you know what?

What?

I want to do it again.

I want to try the trip attack again.

Oh.

Okay.

Okay.

So, I'm going to.

You have to make a strength-saving throw of 14.

Okay, so I need a 13 or better.

Roll a seven.

It's a two.

I'll take this.

I'm sick of failing these, so he's gonna use a legendary resistance and instead chooses to succeed on that one.

Oh my god.

How do I get that ability?

How many do you have of these?

Huh?

Well, this is legendary resistance, which is separate from the other thing.

Oh, wow.

This guy is powerful.

Yeah.

So that's an eight damage.

Okay.

And then Action surge.

You have an action surge?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

New action surge just dropped.

Give me shivers.

And I'm going to do it again.

The whole thing.

Okay.

Hot.

Stab again.

That's 18.

Get off your phone, Gunther.

Yeah, that hits.

I'm going to make the joke every time.

Even better.

We use Kyborg's action surge line for whenever Gunther action surges.

He's his own man.

Yeah, he had his own take on it.

All I'm saying is two of the five of us are wearing kyborg shirts.

His legend lives on

The Council of Barbarians shall wear only one shirt, that of a archer fighter.

And then I'm going to once again try and trip.

Okay.

That hit, right?

Yeah, 18 hits.

All right, so you're going to make a strength roll.

Oh, I thought you were doing damage.

Okay, yeah.

I'm going to make the roll plus one.

That's an 11, which fails.

He's going to use another legendary resistance.

Oh, my God.

How many of you have?

Legendary resistance, he has three of in a day.

So that's two of them.

So he just chooses?

Yeah.

So you have three legendary resistances, and I'm assuming you have lucky as well, right?

I don't know if he has three.

Like I said, it's not lucky, it's something else.

It's a specific thing that he has.

Lou laid on me.

Why you?

We're four friends here.

We talk.

What is it?

Thumb to the scales.

It's a homebrew thing.

You're not going to find it.

Oh, come on.

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You couldn't tell thumb to the scales.

It's a very uh judicial thing.

I don't know.

Because he could tip the scales in whatever way he wants.

Mm-hmm.

Cheating.

Anyway, so I did eight points of damage.

Eight points of damage?

I'm trying to think of any courtroom puns.

Something about recess.

Looks like you are courting trouble.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was really good.

Yeah, no,

it was okay.

No, it was pretty solid.

I'll give it like a C plus.

Question for your honor.

You may proceed.

Were those

any of those reactions?

No, it's not.

That's why you can do it multiple times.

Okay.

Then that is my turn.

All right.

Doug, you're up.

Can I do a quick perception check to see?

I don't know if we really like looked around this room very much.

So could I see if there's anything else in there other than like the chests and stuff like that?

Like any other doors or any other maybe like supplies, weapons.

Good question.

Where are those cannons were in here?

So this room is rather large and it has stone walls and floor with no windows, a high ceiling and it's lit by lanterns.

There's metal double doors to the north, workbenches on either side of that door.

And there's wooden racks that line the room holding weapons, armor, and shields.

There's a cannon to the west and a balcony to the south with the chests on it.

And that's where you guys went and that's where 12 hit those chests.

And are those metal doors open or closed?

No, they are closed.

Okay.

Make me, let's just call it a perception check, Doug.

20.

Yeah, okay, looking around the room, you can see that in the racks of weapons, each row carries different items: martial weapons, leather armor, things like that.

As far as the workbenches, the one to the west has a furnace with an anvil.

The cannon appears to be an iron cannon on wheels with a handful of cannonballs by it.

On the balcony are the four chests you found, and the lanterns are bronze lanterns that are lit around the room, one of which appears to be out.

One lantern is out.

Yeah.

I wonder what the significance of that is.

What if we lit the lantern with the cannon?

Is the I assume it's like a full-size cannon that's facing like is it just in the room facing inwards or is it like up against the west wall facing to the north like it's being stored here.

It is an armory.

Okay, true.

And what kind of weapons did you say were on the wall?

You said like a bunch of different random ones?

They're not on the wall.

They're like within the racks that are

throughout the room.

There are martial weapons, different kinds of leather armor, shields, some fancy suits of armor.

Ooh.

Okay.

I'll say it.

You recognize him.

It's like officer armor.

Okay.

So nothing like super magical, special, crazy, powerful.

Do you have detect magic?

No.

Barb had this look where it was like both like challenge accepted, but I don't know.

Definitely probably not.

Okay.

How close am I to Tov right now?

You stayed up by the chests.

Tolv advanced 25 feet up to the magistrate, who is 30 feet away.

Hi, Doug.

Aw, dang it.

Okay, I was going to do something, but you're a little too far away, I think, for me.

I'm a little too scared to get that close to the magistrate.

Understood.

He's very intimidating.

What if I walked back towards you?

The magistrate looks at you, Doug, and says, proceed to the bench.

Oh.

Uh, pass.

Um, okay, so am I close enough to touch either

Natty or Gunther currently?

I'm next to you.

Natty's Natty's right by you.

Gunther is also up where Toll is.

Head egg.

Hi, Natty.

Listen, I just, you know,

you're doing so great, and I want to help you do Gueto, so I'm going to give you a little touch on the shoulder and cast guidance.

Ah!

So I touch a willing Quito, which I assume is Natty.

I'm very willing.

And once before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that number roll to one ability check of its choice.

It can roll the die before or after making the ability check.

Nice.

The spell then ends after that.

I am mildly familiar with guidance.

All right.

Nanny, I believe in you.

And he touches her shoulder.

Oh, my gosh, that's all I need in life.

But he does like one of those pats on the shoulder.

Yeah.

Cute.

Because Doug's not used to human contact.

I've never related to Doug more in my life.

And then

that's it.

Cool.

Simple.

All right.

It is the magistrate's turn.

Okay, the magistrates in here's got Toll

and Gunther and Giggy in front of him.

Bet you won't hit me.

Here by the racks.

Toll really wants to get hit for some reason.

The magistrate looks at you, Tollv, and says, Motion denied.

Oh no.

He stretches out a hand to the rack of weapons next to him and pulls it down and there's an explosion with a giant puff of smoke and brimstone.

This guy gotta get away a second time.

Make a dexterity saving throw Toll, Gunther, and Gigi.

Okay.

Ooh, Gigi rolled a one.

I have advantage on saving throws.

Wait, is it strength checks and saving throws, or is it strength checks and just broadly saving throws?

Strength checks and all saving throws?

You know, the wording.

It's a little vague.

Strength checks and saving throws.

So strength checks and all saving throws.

Strength checks and strength saving throws.

Oh, see, it didn't write it.

It's not written like that, Your Honor.

Such a dummy.

Later on, you probably will get advantage on dexterity saving throws.

Once you get danger sense, yeah.

Well, it doesn't matter.

Because I rolled an 18 dab on these haters.

I rolled a 13.

All right, Gunther and Gigi, you begin coughing profusely with all the smoke

in the area.

All three of you have a difficult time seeing because of the smoke, but Tolf, you're not as, like, it's not affecting you as much.

Tolf, I'm sensing a pattern here.

Also, with the vent previously, you were not affected by the gas there either.

You weren't coughing at that either.

He's used to his own gas.

Yeah, I need to look into that.

Weird.

So strange.

With a similar poof, the magistrate reappears on the balcony where the smashed chest is next to Doug.

Is he stepped in the glue?

No, he is not stuck in the glue.

At this point, the glue is hardened and is no longer tacky.

He punches into the chest and pulls out an item.

Oh, did what?

Is there more glue?

You already triggered the trap.

It's done.

So you happened to pick the chest that had the trap.

Blaine's Blaine's look.

Blaine's look.

This was all going to be explained in his monologue, which Naddy interrupted with the blasting at the end of the episode, last episode, started this episode.

He was looking for the thing in whatever.

You don't know that.

He smashes into the damaged chest and pulls out an item.

And he whispers, At last.

What?

what could I see what he's holding uh yeah make a investigation check I'm looking too you two then can I look but I probably can't cuz I'm all blind

the smoke is preventing you from seeing 18 16 you both see what he has what

it looks like scales of some kind like balancing scales that are crafted from serpentine scales and they seem like they're shimmering and shifting in color like scales as in like they go back and forth kind of like weights yeah exactly.

Like the scales of justice.

Exactly.

And they're shimmering?

Yeah, they're like shifting in color.

Like, you see them shifting between silver, green, and red, like, just kind of all over.

Does Doug recognize these at all?

From all of his many wisdom studies?

Make a history check, Doug.

With pleasure.

Dang it.

11.

You don't know what this is specifically, but you can tell that this is an artifact of some kind and must be related to some kind of deity.

Is that good enough?

Yeah, thank you.

Okay.

I mean, yeah, that's all you're going to give me.

So

say no, say no.

He'll give more.

No, no, Doug looks harder.

All these important MacGuffins are just kind of laying around, you know.

Laying around in the middle of a fort in the hanging up above the door.

Hanging out in the chest next to the glue storage.

You'd think Sergeant Steel Eye would be a little more honest with us, that there were so many important pieces here and maybe have a little bit more protection.

Well, this is the guy that built a military base on top of an old cave system where his enemy could come and kill.

For the record, Chill Sergeant Steel Eye did not build the base.

Well, I blame him.

I hold him in the detective.

He's a cog in the wheel as well.

He's just a part of this military, of the Mortalian.

So now he has this item, and now what happens?

Yeah, and now that he's up here, he's gonna look at Natty and he says, Oh, if you don't like monologues, then you definitely won't like the long sentences.

I need to to give you.

It's not Natty's turn.

You can't interrupt him this time.

Very good.

He pulls back with his mallet and takes a swing at you, Natty.

Bring it.

Hitting AC

9.

That doesn't do it.

I got low armor, but that's too low.

He takes a second swing.

No!

Go for it.

Do it at me.

I tell you.

No, he's mad at Natty for interrupting his good monologue, which was going to explain everything.

hitting AC12 matches.

So, yeah, hit.

Yeah, that's a hit.

Okay, the hammer comes down, striking you, doing

three points of bludgeoning damage.

Whoa,

that's a one plus two.

Three, he really told you, Natty.

Well, hold on, you need to make a wisdom saving throw, too.

Is there a breeze in here?

Did you guys feel something?

To be fair, he's holding this really awkwardly shaped scale thing in one arm while making attacks.

I mean, if I were balancing groceries, I'd be bad at attacking two 17 Or of making excuses.

Just saying, benefit of the doubt.

For the enemy.

Oh, I appreciate it.

I like it.

You feel almost like voices in your head, but you're able to shove them aside out of your mind.

And they say, Zahar bear.

Zaharpear.

In my head.

Maddie turns to the magistrate and goes, is something supposed to be happening?

Yes.

Maddie, you are not the tank.

Let me do the trash talking.

What did you roll on your save again?

17.

The magistrate puts it, you know, holds the scale up that he withdrew from the chest, and it begins glowing green, and he pushes down on one side of the scales, and the whole scale begins turning red.

And your save actually decreases and becomes a seven.

Wow.

This guy, his parents bombed the game, genie.

Yeah.

Yeah, he really does have one.

So you take some psychic damage.

Okay.

You take seven points of psychic damage.

Tappy.

He looks at you, Natty, and says, you may step down.

Why don't you step up and say it's my face?

Oh, I think he just don't stop.

Oh, get him, Naddy.

Tol, you're up.

Oh,

just need to take a bullet for naddy now.

Um, 25 feet back in the other direction, I'm assuming.

Yeah, okay.

Charge.

I run.

And then I take out my warhammer and I hit the magistrate.

You try to hit the magistrate.

You're right, because the roll is seven.

Gosh darn it.

Inspo, die, please.

Anyone.

Anyone.

I'm all.

Gus, look at me dance.

Look at me dance, ghost.

I think Blaine might be addicted to Inspos.

Yeah, I think your dancing is excellent.

I just need a little hit.

I just need a little something.

That's a miss.

Okay.

Well, Storm Aura.

You gain a 10-foot aura effect when you start your rage, and as a bonus action on each of your turns, turns when one activated one creature of your choice and your aura takes lightning damage.

Okay, so roll yours check for the lightning damage.

They rolled their decks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, same page, same team.

Okay.

That's an A.

Plus one, nine.

Okay, take lightning.

Ka-chow!

That's a one.

Love it.

He just this is this is what just happened ostensibly he just ran up and it's like you know when you like shuffle your feet along the carpet and he just touched the magistrate and gave him a little shock.

Just a little shock.

A little zap.

Yeah, that's all he did.

At the very least, can I body block the magistrate from Natty?

You can try, sure.

Okay, I do that.

That's where I'll position myself.

You insert yourself kind of between them.

Yes.

Hey, y'all.

Hello.

All right.

Natty, you're up.

Then after Natty is Gunther.

And you got guidance, don't forget.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for the reminder naddy lets out a loud whistle

and from that smoke cloud uh a little quasit comes running

you have to roll to see if he obeys

dang it oh he got you there i rolled a seven he doesn't obey

maybe he pops out for a moment just to show that he does acknowledge you and then one goes back in i think what he would do is that because i think we've turned around and now we're facing like the back where which way were we facing the original direction of the fight?

Where was this fight taking place in the room?

He was north of you all to the north.

Like towards where the double doors are?

Correct.

Like halfway up the room.

Not all the way to the doors, but yeah, in that direction.

Then I think Giggy's going to get distracted and go check out the cannon.

He thinks it's cool.

All right, yeah, that's just a little further to the northwest.

He climbs inside the cannon.

Oh.

And Natty just turns and goes, kids.

And as she turns around, she does a little, like a little toss of her hair and then brings the other hand around and goes for an eldritch blast at him.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Which is a 16.

Yeah!

That hits.

Cool.

Glad that one hits.

Rolling four.

Eldridge Blast damage.

Seven.

Plus three is 10.

Plus two lightning, two thunder damage.

So 10 force, two lightning.

Two thunder.

Jeez us.

Two.

Two lightning.

Wait, thunder.

12 total there.

10 force, two thunder.

Oh, and necrotic.

Sound like one of those Wall Street stock market brokers person there.

10, 2, 3, 3, 1, 3, 10.

Sell, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder.

One necrotic damage.

All right.

The Eldritch Blast strikes the magistrate in the chest

and he falls down on his back.

He looks at you, looks at Tolf, looks at Doug, and says, You are all

guilty.

You'll see

guilty.

And with that, he dies.

Oh.

Oh,

we did it.

Go now.

We can't do the thing where we incapacitate and don't kill.

I think you normally have to call that ahead of time.

I said that at the top.

I think you have to be more intentional when you are actually attacking, probably.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know I had to say it each attack.

Depending on what happens next, could Doug go run up and grab the scales?

Yeah, it's right at your feet.

Oh, he picks it up.

Yeah.

you pick it up.

It's like the one ring.

It states consuming Doug.

Doug holds it up and goes, do you guys know what this is?

It seems pretty powerful.

I don't know if I should be the one holding it.

I'm a little scared of it, to be honest.

Gunther charges out of the cloud, screaming, and then goes and stabs the magistrate.

Double tap.

Well, he didn't know you.

He kind of missed some of that because he's in the cloud.

He's ahead of his time.

Again, with the apps in the cloud, Gunther.

Don't forget to

can tolve search the magistrate for any other like weapons or any other evidence as to who they are or what they're doing documents i don't know sure you look through and on his person you find uh a wig that's torn it looks like colonel boy's hair that you remember from before

oh yeah oh and of course the scale of scales which doug picked up Can Gunther go look in the other chests?

You said there were how many?

Four.

One of them was smashed, and that's where the magistrate pulled out the scales.

I would suggest if you want to smash it, maybe stand to the side of the chest.

Watch out for glue.

Can I yeah, can Gunther go look at one of the others?

Yeah, what are you gonna do?

You're just gonna smash it?

Well, first, can I see if it's unlocked?

Yeah, at the end of the last episode, you all did look at all of the chests, and they were all locked.

And I believe Naddy tried to see if her key would work to open them, but I said it wasn't that kind of keyhole.

Like, it wouldn't even fit.

Okay.

Yeah, I guess I'll try and attack it.

Just stand to the side, Gunther.

Maybe from a side.

I know you like glue, but not in this.

Alternatively, say all.

Yeah.

Hey, maybe I'll do this.

Maybe I'll go into the smash chest and then jump up and like attack it and then duck back down into the smash chest.

Can I do that?

Are they big enough for that?

Gunther's small, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure, why not?

Doug is going to back up like against the wall.

Is everyone else just going to stand there and watch Gunther do this?

No, backing up with Doug.

Actually, but there was something Natty wanted to do with magistrate, but I want to let Gunther do this.

Okay.

I'll pick up the magistrate and use them as a human shield.

All right.

So you're still staying there then?

Uh, uh, yeah.

And then I move him around and I say, objection earlier.

I'm a dead body.

This is kind of weird.

I shouldn't be doing this.

I dropped them and I lose.

For someone so worried about war crimes, 12 seems real loosey-goosey with morality, right there.

I mean, this guy, you know, this is the,

what's it called?

Rules of engagement.

They attacked first.

Okay.

Gunther, make me, let's just say,

a dexterity check to see if you're able to, like, go out, strike it, and hide back again in time.

Okay.

Make a saving throw for all six saves.

Eight.

Yeah.

You pop out.

strike at the chest, but it's just such a weird, complicated set of movements that you're not used to that you you know your sword hangs on the chest as you try to get back into it and uh you get stuck a little just long enough for glue to come out and sport all over you as well

sticky yeah but delicious

but you do damage the chest and it is uh cracked okay i need help let's see let's see what's inside doug will walk over could i help gunther get out of the glue somehow Yeah, it just takes a little bit of time.

You're able to help clear it off and free him up.

Thank you.

You're free.

Do you want to look inside?

I'm a little scared.

Okay.

Can I look inside?

Yeah.

You look inside and you see a wave-bladed sword encrusted with water stones on the hilt.

Ooh.

Wave-bladed?

Like, what kind of sword?

A wavy blade.

Like a scimitar?

No, I would say that's a curved blade.

This is more like...

Oh, like Ziggy.

Yeah, Ziggy.

Ziggy and Zaggy.

And what's on the hilt, you said?

Waterstones.

Does it look in any way familiar or can I tell anything about it by picking it up?

All right, you pick it up and make a history check.

Ooh, 17.

You're not familiar with this specific weapon, but you know it is obviously a fine quality and it is most likely some type of enchanted weapon, especially if it's being held here in this chest.

Is it Gunther-sized?

Yeah, what size is it?

Is it Gunther-sized or is it toll-sized?

It's regular sized, but for a medium creature.

So it's large for Gunther.

So it's not a finesse weapon.

Correct.

Too heavy.

Can I take it over to the rest and shit?

Like, it's a good blade.

Sure.

I think, team, maybe we should check the other two chests and make sure that there's any other weapons that are in there probably desirable to the Undarians.

So we need to protect them, okay?

So you guys want to like disarm the last two chests and then we'll take whatever's inside for safekeeping.

I have like so much hail hair on my body that I'm a little hesitant to get any glue on this.

I feel that, dog.

I have no hair.

You do not very good.

Then I'll try it.

Yeah, you want to try to do the same thing again?

Yeah.

You're the official glue ghetto chest opener, got it.

You got it, Gunther.

Yeah, make a dex check just to see if you're able to strike the chest and get out of the way again.

20.

Oh, yeah.

You learned from your mistakes, and this time you're able to strike at the chest and hide yourself in the chest next to it.

And the glue shoots out covering the outside of the chest but leaving you glue-free yes good job kunther what's in the chest you look inside and you see a tubular instrument of some kind maybe like a blowpipe tubular instrument that's like a blowpipe yeah what's a blowpipe it's like uh used for directing air or gas or breath so is it like a flute or is it like a drum i think maybe the word instrument was more of like tool right yeah like a tool like for crafting so

Like a metal instrument for thank you.

Thank you, Barbara.

Yeah,

not a musical instrument, like a tool instrument.

Okay.

It's an enchanted PVC pipe.

Got it.

Gunther's proficient with Smith's tools.

Does it look like a blower for that?

Yeah, you could absolutely use this to concentrate like a flame's heat.

Okay, and then I guess I'll hold that for now and then do another stabby duck, if that's okay.

Sure.

So Doug has the scale.

Gunther has the blowpipe.

Who has the wavy sword?

I guess I left it with the group because it's too heavy for Gunther.

I can hold on to it, but I don't, you know.

Not that I'm taking it.

Others can use it if they want, but I'm just keeping.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Before you take it, could Doug just like look at it and see if he recognizes this thing?

Yeah, knock yourself out.

Sure, go ahead.

Yeah, make a history check.

I've read a lot of books on these types of things.

He's got water stones, so I could do some.

Oh, never mind.

You got it.

So some things stand out to you, Doug, especially with your artificer background.

No.

You see that this sword is also partially hollow.

The blade itself is hollow, and you think that it could hold fluid.

Oh.

Weird.

But it is currently empty.

Okay.

That's a weird sword.

Yeah.

That would just make it kind of like blah, blah, blah.

When you're using it, right?

Like.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Like, blue, global, blow, or blurbled, gurble, perhaps.

Doug tells the team about his findings.

Alright.

Guys, just so you know, this sword is hollow.

I know it's very untypical, as you know, you guys use swords all the time, so you know.

But I think that, like, maybe it could hold fluid or something like that, but there's nothing in there right now, so I don't want to test this out later.

Maybe it's a bath toy.

Perhaps, or maybe we, you know, try to put some water in it and see if it does anything.

You can finally convince Gigi to get in a bath.

Yeah, with weapons.

With his sword.

Could I try the last chest?

Yeah, for fun, make me a dexterity check.

See if you're able to dodge out of the way of the glue.

Let her rip.

Nat 20 for 24.

Yeah, you just made a mistake that first time.

Now you know how to do it.

You know how to strike and, you know, pull your sword back and stay out of the way of the chest.

You smash open the fourth and final chest, and inside you see a flail with two chain spike heads and a handle made from some kind of wood.

Ooh.

Flail.

Just like a mace on the end of chains.

Yeah.

Alright.

Okay,

inspect it and take it over to the group.

Yeah.

Yeah, you take it over to the group and show them.

And yeah, you all see the same thing.

It's a flail with two chains, spiked heads, and a wooden handle.

As you all are inspecting the flail, the doors at the northern end of the armory burst open.

And Drill Sergeant Steel Eye storms into the room with several guards.

B team!

What's the meaning of this?

What are you doing with those stolen relics?

Doug points to the magistrate on the floor.

They're not stolen, they are right here.

They're not where they should be.

They're supposed to be in the chests for safekeeping.

Did you steal them?

How did you get in here?

What are you doing?

What's the meaning of that?

What's the meaning of this?

You do not leave us on a cliffhanger, Sergeant.

We have to see

believes that or not.

Find out what happens to B-Team and their new best friend, the magistrate, on the next episode of Talesman the Stinky Dragon.

Did I say best friend?

I meant accomplice.

Find out in the next episode of Talesman the Stinky Dragon.

I smell a court-martial.

You pop at the magistrate.

The court is now in.

Wait,

Recession.

What's it whenever you pause the court?

Recession.

Yeah.

Back.

Back.

No, whenever you pause the court.

Recess?

Right now?

Recess.

We got there.

All right.

Bye, everyone.

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This week's average question was submitted by WizardPower700.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Hey guys, here Doug is on the one and two again.

All by myself here in the room because

I didn't have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah, just hanging out here, being Doug, looking around, just thinking about the, you know, the reason for life and, you know, what's behind it all.

Really deep thoughts Doug has from time to time.

Anyways, how you guys doing?

Doing good out there?

You drink your water?

Stretch your legs?

Good.

Always take care of yourself.

On second thought, Doug's gonna stretch his legs too.

Over and out.

They've completely forgotten about their quest.

Are you sure about these four?

What do you see in them anyway?

It's their destiny, old friend.

We just need to remind them somehow.

Well, you could send me.

No, no, no.

I don't think we're there quite yet.

It has to be smaller.

Something only they would recognize.

Something.

I've got just the thing.

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