C02 - Ep. 50 - Finale in Faunaloch - Unloching A Secret

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Speaker 12 Top of the morning, all you Toffets.

Speaker 13 Stomp on into the stinky dragon, quaff our latest coffee,

Speaker 6 belly full of heli.

Speaker 15 It's a mixture of Java lava, charred chocolate sauce, whole fat milk, minus the milk, a grappling of rum cracker crumbs, and topped with a hearths of harsh mellows.

Speaker 19 One sip of this scorching sauce, you'll have a tummy ache that can only be described as lit.

Speaker 19 Jeez.

Speaker 17 Previously, our adventurers were arrested in Atro City, met a menace in Mosquetin, uncovered a carcassukku, grasped the gims of Glurp, proved passe in Parish, unveiled vengeance in Vania, and find themselves in a finale in Fonilok.

Speaker 13 Latch onto a libation.

Speaker 12 Let's unlock this lock of lore.

Speaker 27 You know, there's words you read first and don't know how they're pronounced. Yeah, one of them for me was hearths.

Speaker 27 And I remember getting into World of Warcraft and there being a hearthstone, which is what you use to go home all the time.

Speaker 27 And I remember the first time I got into voice chat and I said hearth, and everyone made fun of me.

Speaker 30 Yeah, get out of here.

Speaker 27 And let me tell you, being made fun of by a bunch of wow nerds

Speaker 32 of embarrassment.

Speaker 28 Very nice.

Speaker 6 Well, Barbara has to have inspiration for that.

Speaker 34 Yeah, that's definitely inspiration.

Speaker 36 We do need one. Yay!

Speaker 38 The other one I love is Biopic and Biopic.

Speaker 40 That one I feel like both is right, though, because I've heard both, people argue on both sides of how

Speaker 42 my cousin at one time was reading a book, and she was like, oh, look, ignore a moose.

Speaker 45 Oh, ignore Amus.

Speaker 40 Took me a second.

Speaker 47 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Hello, everyone. I'm Gustavus Rolo, the Dungeon Master of our Future Party.

Speaker 24 I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

Speaker 50 Yes, not him.

Speaker 27 Yaven's mine.

Speaker 6 Yaven and Yaven.

Speaker 52 This week's role-playing warm-up question is: What does your character want to be known for?

Speaker 14 Oh, like remembered for?

Speaker 53 Oh, Barney Varney.

Speaker 39 Barney's still pushed his way to the front.

Speaker 55 He has to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 56 I'm Kristen Maris, and I play Barney Varney, the human cleric.

Speaker 58 I'd rather not be known at all.

Speaker 59 Oh. But if I was known for anything, I'd just like to be known by my name.

Speaker 26 Maybe Barney.

Speaker 22 Hi, Barney.

Speaker 61 Why is it?

Speaker 52 Do you prefer Barney over Barnabas?

Speaker 6 It's a little easier.

Speaker 6 So it's more for other people's convenience.

Speaker 63 My mom started calling me Barney and it stuck.

Speaker 27 We're going to start calling you Bus.

Speaker 61 Bus.

Speaker 43 Hey, bussy.

Speaker 40 I'm just going to start calling you Arnabis.

Speaker 28 Take that B away.

Speaker 64 Like Topher. Be different.

Speaker 27 I just want to hear Barney say girls just to be able to do it.

Speaker 57 No, then it'd be E different.

Speaker 47 Oh.

Speaker 40 Arnabis.

Speaker 65 No, because you say B different, but take the B away and be E different.

Speaker 6 We do jokes here.

Speaker 66 This is fun.

Speaker 33 Turn it off.

Speaker 24 Comedy.

Speaker 40 The last episode of this campaign, and we're still figuring it out.

Speaker 43 Hey there, it's God, did it again. Blenn Gibson.
I play the Tiefling Rogue, Level 9, Chip Haney.

Speaker 43 And And I want to be remembered for just three small things. Three little things.
And no particular order. I want to be known as the world's kindest assassin.
All right. Kill him with a smile.

Speaker 43 That's what I always said. I want to be known as.

Speaker 40 Have you ever said that once in this whole campaign?

Speaker 28 Oh, God.

Speaker 9 What a missed opportunity. What a shirt I could have had.

Speaker 47 Oh, well.

Speaker 43 The other thing is, I want to be known as the world's most loving husband. And then this last one makes me really emotional.
I want to be known as having the best lawn in my neighborhood.

Speaker 26 Sorry, I can't make it emotional.

Speaker 18 It's allergies, right?

Speaker 35 You're allergic to grass?

Speaker 24 Yeah, I just cut the grass as I always do every morning.

Speaker 68 You want people to walk by and be like, wow.

Speaker 57 Yeah, there's a dude in my neighborhood that actually cuts like every one or two days.

Speaker 70 And his grass is the freshest grass.

Speaker 40 That could never be me.

Speaker 64 Why? Because it's so nice.

Speaker 59 You walk by and you're like, oh.

Speaker 38 My grandmother loved her lawn so much. Yeah.

Speaker 24 She cut it with scissors and a ruler.

Speaker 40 Oh, my God. You said that before.

Speaker 71 That is, that's maddening.

Speaker 50 I hate that so much.

Speaker 69 It had to be perfect.

Speaker 40 She wanted it like a certain height.

Speaker 62 Yes, and it had to be uniform.

Speaker 50 That makes me sad.

Speaker 41 Gus is a boiler.

Speaker 40 I also like, I imagine the reality situation. She cuts her grass and then measures it to make sure it's right with the ruler.
I pictured you going from section to section with the ruler.

Speaker 72 I think the section did it.

Speaker 70 No way.

Speaker 34 Her lawn also had, she lived on a hill, hill, so it kind of sloped down, so it would be difficult to use a machine or a mower. And she knew she wouldn't hire anyone to do it.

Speaker 6 She would do it herself with scissors and a ruler.

Speaker 60 If you don't mind my asking, how long did she live to be? Or how old did she live?

Speaker 6 Early 80s, probably 83, 84, somewhere on this.

Speaker 33 Something about like hard-working, active old people that just keep going for forever.

Speaker 68 Yeah, like Barney.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 26 300 and Gordon.

Speaker 28 Hello, I'm Barbara Donkelman.

Speaker 40 Thank you guys for being here today with us on Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

Speaker 74 And my voice Elko von Bra, the Half-Elf Empire barbarian, also level 9. Thank you so much.

Speaker 6 Pew, pew, pew, pew.

Speaker 74 Could have gone to 10. Nice around the even number, but no.

Speaker 39 Maybe after this episode.

Speaker 68 Maybe.

Speaker 39 If we survive,

Speaker 44 you won't.

Speaker 74 I think at first Elka didn't really have a whole lot of like aspirations for how she wanted to be remembered or known for,'cause, you know, she just spent her whole life in the vampire, so she was kind of sheltered.

Speaker 74 But now, I think Elka wants to know be known for being brave.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 74 And for helping people, because she's seen a lot of hardship in this last week.

Speaker 55 And

Speaker 46 it's really changed her.

Speaker 57 Been hard on Chip.

Speaker 27 The look on your face, Barbara, as you looked up to determine the timeline, that should

Speaker 39 encapsulate.

Speaker 27 It's that, but also that Duncan's been telling this story over the course of a night. But if it's like 50 episodes and it's popped up, it's like an hour each.

Speaker 50 How long has it been?

Speaker 47 Yeah, these are long.

Speaker 6 Well, you think of it this way.

Speaker 26 It's more like he's telling the story.

Speaker 61 50 cocktails. You're right, Chris.

Speaker 17 But you are the story.

Speaker 52 So it's like the story he's telling may be a summary of these events.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 34 You're not hearing the actual story he's telling.

Speaker 6 This is the basis for the story.

Speaker 24 Getting a little meta here.

Speaker 43 Anyways,

Speaker 78 they got lost to the vampire.

Speaker 44 Just so-and-so died.

Speaker 26 It's like four hours trunk in a sentence.

Speaker 27 I feel like him, like that's when Gus says, find out next week. Is Duncan saying that?

Speaker 56 Yeah. Oh, keeping people coming back.
Yeah.

Speaker 38 That's a good marketing for a year.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 That's actually a really good strategy to get people to come visit your establishment.

Speaker 57 It's like trivia night, but worse.

Speaker 50 That's me.

Speaker 27 Hi, my name is John Reisinger. I play Matit Confisus, who's an Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

Speaker 40 We're still going to make John do that no matter what campaign we're doing.

Speaker 27 You know, I'm not necessarily trying to make my mark on this world in any sort of way, but it's ironic, Duncan, Monsieur Duncan, that you keep asking these questions and pouring these drinks because what I want to be known for is making the perfect latte.

Speaker 21 Oh,

Speaker 54 I was

Speaker 40 away from baking in

Speaker 41 barista.

Speaker 27 But a good coffee drink goes perfect with almost every baking,

Speaker 27 every baking venture.

Speaker 74 Yes, coffee and croissants, delicious.

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 38 You have those every morning in the vampire, right?

Speaker 50 My favorite.

Speaker 27 I can survive off of bread and coffee only.

Speaker 40 That's John speaking now.

Speaker 26 That's me.

Speaker 61 Did Mateed break the fourth wall?

Speaker 78 Are we talking to Duncan now?

Speaker 39 Director? That's who's doing the arrow the whole time.

Speaker 69 Rip, are we talking to Duncan?

Speaker 41 I like to think Duncan is like the interviewer in those confession booths. Yeah.
They're just sitting right off camera and they're like, okay, well, tell us what you think about this.

Speaker 6 It's like BTS talking head stuff for the story.

Speaker 27 Just like a documentarian who's been getting all this information from us beforehand and now he's telling the story.

Speaker 27 We're jumping around in timelines.

Speaker 40 I watch a lot of like reality shows, including a lot of like

Speaker 40 dating reality shows. And so I think of like Love Island when they're in those confessional booths.
And they're like, yeah, this new bird came in. She's Rotten Fit.

Speaker 70 I'm talking about the Rupa Drag Race set, so it's bright pink behind me.

Speaker 43 I'm throwing shade at all of my ladies.

Speaker 37 What reality show are Barney and Mate in?

Speaker 26 What show?

Speaker 44 Aren't those

Speaker 27 ones where they just drop a person by themselves on an island? Oh, is it naked in a friend?

Speaker 44 Yeah, that's that's Matee.

Speaker 28 Oh, okay.

Speaker 27 It seems nice.

Speaker 70 You've got like a jungle background.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 48 Is Barney on a, what was it? Welcome to your life or this American life or whatever.

Speaker 10 What?

Speaker 24 Just like the original reality show?

Speaker 50 This is your life. Yeah.

Speaker 40 Barney's on Big, Big, Big, Big Brother.

Speaker 40 It's like grand, grand, grand.

Speaker 27 Barney would be on like Jerry Springer because it'd be like, oh, you are the father.

Speaker 26 Barney's dancing.

Speaker 42 Dieter mind.

Speaker 55 Dieter mind?

Speaker 42 Determined. That's another one.

Speaker 43 I did that one way later

Speaker 48 when I was way too old.

Speaker 28 Mike was like,

Speaker 4 what? That's not even what we're asking or talking about.

Speaker 34 What I thought about what reality show was Barney on?

Speaker 32 Dietermind.

Speaker 40 He's deeterminded to tell you.

Speaker 58 The next episode of Dieter Mind.

Speaker 42 I don't watch a lot of reality.

Speaker 56 Maybe, maybe Nathan, for you.

Speaker 74 Yeah, maybe you guys just laid right here.

Speaker 23 Well, if you're sure, we'll be right here when you get back.

Speaker 80 I feel like they're not going to wait here.

Speaker 28 Alright, we go in.

Speaker 64 Dive, dive, dive.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 83 With a splash, you submerge beneath the blue, viscous liquid and feel the fluid envelop your body.

Speaker 86 All of a sudden, you hear the temple above you collapse with a crash.

Speaker 13 Bones and stone debris drift into the lockwood, sinking past you out of sight.

Speaker 10 As darkness swallows your vision, something in the distance softly glows.

Speaker 85 The faint luminescence casts a shadow on the back of something right in front of you.

Speaker 13 It's the silhouette of Jaws.

Speaker 6 The silhouetted jaws lurch forward toward you all.

Speaker 13 Everyone, make a dexterity-saving throw.

Speaker 10 Oh, I thought it was like a skellington.

Speaker 40 Well, I rolled the 19.

Speaker 27 27. 15.

Speaker 89 Barney?

Speaker 47 Oh, sorry. Barney has a 22.

Speaker 40 Thank you, Barbara.

Speaker 78 Everyone manages to quickly swim out of the way, except for Chip.

Speaker 34 And the jaws come down, envelop you, and then just continue falling past you.

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 62 Do you realize now it's just a sculpture of jaws?

Speaker 90 Oh.

Speaker 6 It's a sculpture depicting what you think might be the great moth that just happened to be falling and

Speaker 50 went around you.

Speaker 43 That was funny, right, gay?

Speaker 43 Just avoid the water near me.

Speaker 47 It's awfully warm.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Warm the water.

Speaker 40 Yeah, are we able to like communicate with each each other down here?

Speaker 61 Not right now.

Speaker 7 If you have some way of like telepathically communicating, obviously, you know, that'll work.

Speaker 78 But anything that requires actual like

Speaker 91 speaking would be difficult.

Speaker 18 You can try.

Speaker 39 We can have fun with it.

Speaker 56 Should Mate speak?

Speaker 64 Because Mate doesn't require oxygen.

Speaker 92 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 27 So Mate is making sound without oxygen.

Speaker 78 But it might be difficult for them to hear because the sound is traveling through a lockwid instead of air.

Speaker 93 So I need to yell.

Speaker 28 Yes, and it might still be muffled.

Speaker 94 So you all are in a smallish chamber made of what appears to be some kind of ancient stone, and there's something scattered on the floor.

Speaker 6 And in the center of the chamber is a set of jaws.

Speaker 27 Is it a bunch of pennies on the floor?

Speaker 10 Do people throw them in for wishes? Maybe.

Speaker 6 Maybe it's hemo pieces. No.

Speaker 14 Trying to tempt Mate.

Speaker 80 To the east is an unnatural opening in the stone wall, and there seems to be somewhat of a faint glow coming from it.

Speaker 40 Elga points to it and goes,

Speaker 30 and what a great podcast is going on.

Speaker 40 She starts swimming towards it.

Speaker 19 I swim to it, the hole in the wall with the glow. Yeah.

Speaker 60 Barney sinks because I realize he is chainmail.

Speaker 84 Well, luckily, you have also advantage on strength-based checks, right?

Speaker 80 Oh, shoot, I do. Yeah,

Speaker 6 it kind of played out for you.

Speaker 47 Yes,

Speaker 27 you can also grab onto Chip's tail if you need. While they're investigating that hole, I want to see what's scattered on the floor.

Speaker 7 Yeah, make an investigation check for me.

Speaker 27 17.

Speaker 17 Everyone seems to be focused on the opening to the east, but Mate, you look down at the floor and you see what appear to be scattered bones on the floor.

Speaker 88 It appears that maybe they all originated from a box that fell from the temple above.

Speaker 49 And judging by the size, these must have been huge creatures.

Speaker 37 And amongst all the bones on the ground there, you see a scroll.

Speaker 27 We're sure it's not Henry's bones, right? Giant bones. Stop it.

Speaker 39 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 14 Stop trying to murder this child.

Speaker 40 Well, the thing did collapse on that.

Speaker 76 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 27 But box of bones is interesting. I grabbed the scroll.

Speaker 51 All right, yeah, you grab the scroll.

Speaker 27 And I read it without even thinking about it. Out loud, hoping it's an enchantment.

Speaker 63 It's in Latin.

Speaker 95 Make me an arcana check.

Speaker 75 15.

Speaker 6 You recognize it as a scroll of air bubble.

Speaker 39 Oh, convenient.

Speaker 64 So like Sonic the Hedgehog, water level, air bubble?

Speaker 37 Kind of.

Speaker 13 This is a little smaller, though.

Speaker 25 It allows you to create a spectral globe around the head of a willing creature you can see within range, and the globe is filled with fresh air.

Speaker 40 Just one?

Speaker 27 Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna hold on to this.

Speaker 27 We're all fine. We got an hour of being under the water.

Speaker 26 Do you?

Speaker 28 Oh, no, we don't.

Speaker 33 We have an hour in the middle of the middle.

Speaker 28 We have an hour of not being affected by the lock quid.

Speaker 101 Oh, shoot, I forgot. Yeah!

Speaker 28 I forgot too, because I don't breathe and I don't care. I'm good.

Speaker 40 If we make that little air bubble, could we like pass it around to each other?

Speaker 27 I imagine since it's a scroll of enchantment, it's a one-time spell use that goes onto a person.

Speaker 81 Yeah, but maybe if you're getting close.

Speaker 80 Maybe you could like stick your nose up to it and kind of like siphon off some of the air.

Speaker 17 I don't know. You tell me, guys.

Speaker 74 I'm about to kiss them.

Speaker 41 Who's not the best breath of the group of us?

Speaker 74 I'm about to kiss my father.

Speaker 44 Yeah,

Speaker 44 we'll play with it.

Speaker 78 If you want to try it, we can try it.

Speaker 95 Why not? Okay.

Speaker 40 Well, should we maybe swim through this hole first and then?

Speaker 76 Yeah. Yeah, because

Speaker 39 D and D rules, you have breath for how long?

Speaker 6 You can hold your breath for a number of minutes equal to one plus your constitution modifier.

Speaker 27 So whatever your constitution modifier is add one to that and that's how many minutes you can hold your breath so how many uh sound off four so three minutes three minutes wait what what's your constitution modifier it's three so his order four four and and three and three and what's yours infinite oh right because you're yeah okay cool so i'm assuming it's been five seconds

Speaker 67 so move quick move quick move quick olga swims towards the the light same

Speaker 6 you see an unnatural hole that seems to have been carved in this eastern wall, and it's big enough for, you know, everyone in your party to squeeze through.

Speaker 49 And beyond that opening is a faint glow that appears to be just out of view.

Speaker 40 Before going in, could we quickly just like glance around and see if there's any other openings or anything else on the ground worth noting?

Speaker 6 I'll leave it up to you.

Speaker 85 Investigation or perception check?

Speaker 88 Perception.

Speaker 27 I did another investigation check.

Speaker 84 18.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 99 He was asking me.

Speaker 59 24. I know.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 27 I was joining in to aid

Speaker 14 this rider. I don't need the help.

Speaker 39 24.

Speaker 95 You don't see anything else other than this box.

Speaker 80 Or I should say all the bones that appear to have fallen out of the box that fell into here from above.

Speaker 40 Does the box have words on it?

Speaker 25 No. Okay.

Speaker 27 And I don't recognize what the bones are other than they're a big creature.

Speaker 84 Make a history check.

Speaker 26 Maybe it's Dragons. Dragons.

Speaker 27 That was two ones.

Speaker 29 Maybe they're people bones.

Speaker 21 Oh, wow.

Speaker 50 Big people.

Speaker 73 Can I glance back at those bones to see what they mean?

Speaker 49 Sure, make a history check.

Speaker 10 It's like in the the Flintstones when Fred would get the giant rack of ribs that would tilt his car over.

Speaker 6 There was an eight.

Speaker 106 Yeah, definitely someone was having a barbecue.

Speaker 18 This is like the leftover rib bones.

Speaker 13 This is probably just where they tossed them after they were done.

Speaker 41 We'll probably figure out eventually. Sure.
Who cares?

Speaker 27 Bones through the hole.

Speaker 40 Yeah, Elga swims through the hole. I

Speaker 16 swim through the hole.

Speaker 65 Oh, I want to do that thing that gives me advantage on initiative.

Speaker 56 I'm calling it now.

Speaker 91 Do you need to speak to cast that?

Speaker 23 I don't think so. No.

Speaker 99 Let me check.

Speaker 35 I like that. The initial knee-jerk reaction is, no.

Speaker 44 Wait, hold on.

Speaker 18 I actually have no idea.

Speaker 6 You know who also does that?

Speaker 27 My children.

Speaker 44 Well, please down it.

Speaker 25 It just says,

Speaker 57 I can just do it.

Speaker 6 No, but what's the component?

Speaker 13 It just, no, literally, the description says just do it. It just

Speaker 29 switched.

Speaker 28 That's an action.

Speaker 6 I just give one creature advantage on the initiative.

Speaker 51 Yeah, it's a vigilant blessing.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it says you give one creature, you touch.

Speaker 10 All right, touch myself.

Speaker 104 When I think of it.

Speaker 26 Let's chip it. Inappropriate.

Speaker 56 Let's chip you on it.

Speaker 47 I think you're good having it. Go through the hole.

Speaker 51 You bless yourself.

Speaker 28 I do.

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Speaker 17 You all enter a large L-shaped chamber.

Speaker 10 The walls, floor, and ceiling are slimy and stained from the blue lockwid.

Speaker 17 Bubbling throughout the chamber are a handful of fissures discharging some kind of green gas that's floating up.

Speaker 10 And this is still underwater, right?

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 27 And as far as like L-shaped, are you saying like if we looked up, then it would 90-degree?

Speaker 40 Or is it like this?

Speaker 19 Is there a corner?

Speaker 10 Yeah, like. Backwards L.
So it's a backwards L.

Speaker 53 Okay.

Speaker 17 At the bottom left.

Speaker 65 Okay, so there's a corner and there's a bunch of fissures streaming out green gas.

Speaker 19 Okay, so we just swim up.

Speaker 6 Let's just swim up the length of the big L.

Speaker 40 I don't know if it's... Is it L-shaped tall ways or L-shaped like a room that's L-shaped?

Speaker 18 Both.

Speaker 48 Like imagine that that continues up and then tapers down.

Speaker 18 Okay. At the ceiling.

Speaker 56 Okay. So it's like a chimney.

Speaker 110 Like we got a

Speaker 6 chimney.

Speaker 81 You're looking at a top-down view there, Barbara.

Speaker 56 Yeah. And then it just kind of tapers and gets, gets, you know, forms to a ceiling, almost like a cave at the top.

Speaker 61 Okay, okay.

Speaker 27 I swim

Speaker 27 around the fissures, avoiding the gas.

Speaker 77 Everyone make me, before you start swimming, Matid, do me a favor, everyone make me a perception check.

Speaker 17 19.

Speaker 11 14.

Speaker 27 I have advantage on this. That is a 14 and a.

Speaker 33 Where's you at the 14?

Speaker 13 11.

Speaker 56 And Matida had a 19, right?

Speaker 58 Correct.

Speaker 86 You're the only one who notices this.

Speaker 39 As you enter this room, you catch sight of a disfigured-looking Hugo at the northeast portion of this room.

Speaker 107 Oh.

Speaker 13 It looks like most of his skin is burned off.

Speaker 6 His lips are missing, and so his fangs are just perpetually visible, and they seem to be dripping with some kind of green liquid.

Speaker 78 I wonder how he talks to us.

Speaker 88 He's really like Nasferatu look.

Speaker 10 Outstretched from his back are two bony wings.

Speaker 40 Does he look dead?

Speaker 62 No, his back is to where you all entered from.

Speaker 17 He's looking away, doing something.

Speaker 67 Because he came down into this lockwid without the croissant.

Speaker 6 so i imagine he's not oh he's probably feeling the effects of this well yeah he got disfigured in that fight with eddie and now he's even more disfigured than he was before that's how eddie got disfigured in the first place right yeah by going in the lockwid losing his skin blockwood apparently takes some people's skin and so sorry what else is in here you said chip skin when he fell in there's a green gas and what else is there in here fissures yeah fissures that are discharging the green gas fissures are like cracks in the floor Gotcha.

Speaker 27 Like, so they're spewing it.

Speaker 40 Is that from the wall or the floor?

Speaker 26 All over, both. Okay.

Speaker 59 How far from Shugo are we?

Speaker 103 The room's a fairly decent size and you're on the other side from it.

Speaker 24 You have to kind of go straight and then hook a left since the room is L-shaped to get all the way up there.

Speaker 7 As the crow, as the Mate flies,

Speaker 18 it's probably,

Speaker 34 let's say, like 60 feet away.

Speaker 6 60 feet.

Speaker 19 So should we sneak up on him?

Speaker 53 Like maybe get a little grapple on him?

Speaker 103 I have an ice arrow.

Speaker 27 I don't know if I could freeze the water around him.

Speaker 40 Do you have any radiant damage stuff?

Speaker 28 Anybody here? I did.

Speaker 40 He is likely vulnerable to radiant damage.

Speaker 27 I was thinking we could, like, if we could just sneak up on him and get a good grab on him, then we could get some answers.

Speaker 76 But also, like, we're underwater.

Speaker 28 We're underwater, yeah.

Speaker 47 We're not gonna, I don't know if we could chat with him.

Speaker 64 And what is he busy with again? His back is turned to his back is turned. And what is he doing? You can't tell me.

Speaker 6 I can't really see.

Speaker 79 He's probably playing Game Boy.

Speaker 22 Underwater Game Boy.

Speaker 26 I don't know.

Speaker 10 All this Tetris talking, singing the theme song has a Game Boy on Blaine's mind.

Speaker 60 Is there a way to like swim above him where we can look and see what he's doing?

Speaker 86 You can try.

Speaker 18 I don't think I.

Speaker 68 I'll do it. I'll do it.

Speaker 100 McKee is very graceful.

Speaker 40 Yeah. I feel like they would like...

Speaker 68 Yeah, nothing more graceful like a bird underwater.

Speaker 26 Underwater.

Speaker 26 I hear a ghost.

Speaker 18 Have you ever seen a duck?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 61 Penguins?

Speaker 26 Gotcha.

Speaker 28 I don't know if I can get a lot of work.

Speaker 72 Penguins are birds. What?

Speaker 41 Well, graceful is what I was going to say.

Speaker 6 In the water?

Speaker 72 In the water. Yeah.

Speaker 45 I guess on land or very graceful.

Speaker 26 Flamingo?

Speaker 61 Heard of one?

Speaker 27 Like a flamingo.

Speaker 78 I charge through the water stealthily.

Speaker 61 No, no, no. He said, flamingo, you're flamingo dancing.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 It's impossible to take a direct straight path to him just because of all the fissures that are releasing gas, unless you want to swim through the gas that comes through.

Speaker 27 Oh, could I use my incorporeal movement and go like translucent or whatever you want to call it uh um stuff stuff stuff passes through me what's the word i'm looking for

Speaker 47 incorporeal yeah it's incorporeal i'll go incorporate incorporeal and then could i go like directly at him that way where is that i want to read it real fast that's a probably a good thing to check me on just says just do it incorporeal movement once for short rest you can use your bonus action to move through other creatures and objects for up to one minute with concentration You take 1d10 force damage if you end your turn inside an object.

Speaker 62 So it's not necessarily like a magic effect or anything, right?

Speaker 10 It's just something you can do.

Speaker 70 Yeah, because I'm a ghost.

Speaker 80 Okay, make a stealth check for me then, since you're being a little sneaky here.

Speaker 56 Boom, boom, boom. That's a gnat 20 plus 9.

Speaker 33 29.

Speaker 40 Yes, so stealthy.

Speaker 70 Matit doesn't even move the lockwid at all.

Speaker 44 Right, because I'm incorporeal.

Speaker 47 Yeah. Yeah, you

Speaker 62 begin swimming through the lockwid, and luckily for you, with your incorporeal movement, you're able to avoid some of this green gas that's bubbling up from these fissures, and you get to a point where you are above Hugo looking down.

Speaker 56 Yeah, what do I see?

Speaker 56 Yeah,

Speaker 14 Mate is making that sound.

Speaker 61 It's all P-O-V-P-V, Mate.

Speaker 92 You can see he's pushing on something on the wall, and then all of a sudden, the wall opens up, and he seemingly falls through.

Speaker 39 He falls through it?

Speaker 6 Yeah. Falls through it.

Speaker 28 Doesn't go through.

Speaker 51 Falls, sir?

Speaker 91 Yeah, like it opens up and kind of like Lockwood escapes with him, sucks him out, and then the wall reseals.

Speaker 28 Oh.

Speaker 58 Game Boy. I mean, he probably knows something we don't.

Speaker 40 He probably knows something we don't, right? Like, this is a way he knows to be going.

Speaker 112 Didn't somebody in the old Game Boy ads say Game Boy?

Speaker 27 Like, didn't they just blurt it like that?

Speaker 47 I think they were.

Speaker 29 That was like a Sega thing.

Speaker 6 That was Sega.

Speaker 27 Anyways, then I'd like to investigate where he was pushing against the wall.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you swim down there and you see what appears to be like a slimy, narrow gate that looks like an aperture.

Speaker 92 And right now it's closed.

Speaker 56 It doesn't appear to have a handle or a lock or anything on it.

Speaker 68 Are we in a toilet?

Speaker 43 This could be a you. Did he just flush himself?

Speaker 6 Is that a pea trap that we're on?

Speaker 40 Do we want to quickly see if there's any other openings or anything like that? Because that probably is the only way to get out of this chamber.

Speaker 27 Yeah, you guys should probably make your way to me.

Speaker 113 Yeah.

Speaker 67 Watch the green liquid. Elga

Speaker 40 very dexterily goes over.

Speaker 44 Is that a word?

Speaker 63 No.

Speaker 40 Dexterously?

Speaker 28 There you go.

Speaker 40 Dexterily.

Speaker 59 Swims over to Mate.

Speaker 66 She verily dexterily.

Speaker 113 She verily.

Speaker 113 Elga's 11.

Speaker 72 She doesn't know it.

Speaker 40 She swims over to Mate.

Speaker 6 And avoiding the green stuff.

Speaker 60 Can Barney do it

Speaker 65 whatever the opposite of dexterity is?

Speaker 53 Clumsily.

Speaker 28 Sure.

Speaker 64 I just imagine arms waving like.

Speaker 27 Yeah, Chip moves over there.

Speaker 77 And he uses his tail like a fin. He's actually quite good.

Speaker 80 Yeah, so you all are there as well. And you see the same thing Mate saw.

Speaker 91 This slimy, narrow gate that is currently closed.

Speaker 27 And he was pushing against a wall?

Speaker 7 Yeah, he was trying to manipulate it somehow.

Speaker 66 I do that.

Speaker 18 Make me an athletics champion.

Speaker 114 Unless this was a trap.

Speaker 40 And he accidentally triggered a trap and got sucked out.

Speaker 75 And let's go for it. 21.

Speaker 53 Nice.

Speaker 38 The

Speaker 10 aperture opens up for just a brief moment and

Speaker 98 sucks you and all of your friends out.

Speaker 116 I did it, everybody.

Speaker 89 Is it gonna slide?

Speaker 26 No.

Speaker 4 You sound so disappointed.

Speaker 85 As you pass through the gate, it closes behind you and you immediately spill onto the floor of a long, fairly narrow cavern absent of lockwood.

Speaker 27 Can I do an athletics check to see if I land in a superhero pose?

Speaker 70 Do acrobatics, not athletics.

Speaker 27 Okay, all right, here we go.

Speaker 40 I just want to do it one more time.

Speaker 21 21.

Speaker 74 It was hard to hold my breath for that moment.

Speaker 60 Leading like a ninja.

Speaker 56 You land with Grace doing the superhero pose.

Speaker 64 You guys impressed.

Speaker 81 Elga's still trying to catch her breath.

Speaker 95 You land on a floor made of scattered scarlet stones interwoven with a gray slime that drips from the ceiling.

Speaker 19 Is Hugo in here?

Speaker 56 Make an investigation check.

Speaker 88 Marco,

Speaker 21 Hugo.

Speaker 27 That's a nine plus one ten.

Speaker 10 You don't see him at the moment, no.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 65 So there's a gray slime slime on the floor coming from the ceiling.

Speaker 40 And something about crimson tiles?

Speaker 27 Scattered stones.

Speaker 6 Yeah, scattered scarlet stones.

Speaker 64 Surely there's footprints because he was wet and he would be carrying lockwood with him.

Speaker 62 Yep, there's also all the slime on the floor as well.

Speaker 17 So it's not like it's a totally dry room you're in.

Speaker 64 Can Chip use like his investigation?

Speaker 78 Yeah, you can make like, if you're looking for tracks, that's survival.

Speaker 88 You can make a survival check.

Speaker 95 Okay.

Speaker 27 Can I do that too, Barney? Yeah. I have advantage on this.
It's a 10 and a 3.

Speaker 40 Elga's going to look as well. 11.

Speaker 6 Okay, I'll wait for Elga's check as well.

Speaker 99 20.

Speaker 91 All three of you also make me dexterity check. 14.

Speaker 91 21.

Speaker 26 Uh, six.

Speaker 91 So, um.

Speaker 40 That's with advantage.

Speaker 45 Ouch.

Speaker 40 I rolled the same thing twice.

Speaker 95 Barney and Chip, you're unable to find any tracks, but it's probably because you're preoccupied trying to avoid this slime from falling on you as it's dripping from the ceiling.

Speaker 88 Ew.

Speaker 49 Elga, you're so focused on finding tracks that you are able to uncover them.

Speaker 80 You do see some tracks that may have been left by Hugo, but as you're looking down at the tracks, a large glob of gray slime falls and envelops you.

Speaker 40 What does it do to me?

Speaker 94 It's like the effects of a slow spell.

Speaker 95 It's just slowing you down now.

Speaker 85 You're just like all soggy and waterlogged.

Speaker 40 Could I try to remove it from my body, my person?

Speaker 105 Yeah, you can just take some time to remove it.

Speaker 80 Is there any specific you just kind of try to brush it off?

Speaker 51 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Yeah. She does the thing like, you know, when you like finish showering and you want to get some of the excess water off of you, just like

Speaker 27 while you're doing that, I say

Speaker 40 and then she also shakes like a little puppy.

Speaker 61 Say, Elga, quick, trust fall, and I fall into you.

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 81 Because she's gonna have the slow spell, so she's probably gonna not be able to catch me because it'd be funny because she's gotta react fast.

Speaker 28 I don't know.

Speaker 40 All right, oh, Elga does not try to catch Chip.

Speaker 28 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 41 How many points of damage does it take?

Speaker 38 Chip falls to the ground and takes

Speaker 10 two points of bludgeoning damage.

Speaker 10 Chip!

Speaker 30 You're the worst.

Speaker 55 I know you're clean. I saw you wipe it off.

Speaker 10 After being distracted by Chip's trust fall, your eyes continue following the tracks, Elga, and you do see Hugo to the north, who turns around, notices you all, and begins moving very quickly for what appears to be an exit to the north.

Speaker 40 Could Elga pick up a glob of that slime and throw it at him?

Speaker 78 It's pretty far.

Speaker 7 You can try, but it's going to be a good bit of distance.

Speaker 18 I mean, let's try. Why not?

Speaker 78 Do an unarmed strike at disadvantage because it's so far.

Speaker 104 Okay.

Speaker 13 How far away is it?

Speaker 81 60, 65 feet, something like that.

Speaker 103 Think about all your days playing for the vampire football team.

Speaker 63 This is the fourth quarter.

Speaker 66 You got to make that Hail Mary throw. Here we go.

Speaker 100 My disadvantage was 15.

Speaker 18 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 13 I'll say you are actually able to hurl it far enough and it hits him.

Speaker 62 He looks at it kind of like disgustingly, and then, like you did, he kind of shakes himself and it all flies off with ease and he continues running to the northern exit.

Speaker 10 That was so cool. That was a good throw.

Speaker 51 That was a good throw.

Speaker 6 It was a good throw.

Speaker 36 I chase. You can run, but you cannot hide, football.

Speaker 10 Yeah, Mateed, you give chase.

Speaker 6 Chase as well. Yeah.

Speaker 10 All right, everyone gives chase, and you see Hugo disappear through a narrow opening that seems to lead to a dark chamber to the north.

Speaker 74 These are taking us exactly where we need to go. We don't even have to figure it out ourselves.

Speaker 49 And one more time, everyone make me a dexterity check.

Speaker 28 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 13 22.

Speaker 20 16.

Speaker 15 Four.

Speaker 100 Five.

Speaker 25 Barney and Mateed, you're able to get to the northern exit without issue, but Chip and Elga are so focused on running, they're again not paying attention to that gray slime and it falls on them.

Speaker 56 So it's gonna take them just a little longer to catch up.

Speaker 75 Oh, we're in a race, guys.

Speaker 3 For what? I don't know.

Speaker 40 It's an ace.

Speaker 72 I am wheelies.

Speaker 50 I am wheelies.

Speaker 56 Is there anything special Chip or Elga wants to do to try to get the slime off?

Speaker 18 No.

Speaker 40 Elga does the thing again where she shakes herself like a little puppy. Who just wet?

Speaker 27 Okay, I'll use my tail as like a windshield wiper.

Speaker 103 There you go.

Speaker 47 I'm gonna cast bless.

Speaker 27 Bless Bless up, Barney.

Speaker 56 On us. Let's dismiss.

Speaker 93 Which does?

Speaker 58 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 33 Bless for one minute.

Speaker 65 Up to three creatures of your choice within range.

Speaker 65 Whenever they make an attack roll or saving throw before spell list, the target can roll a d4 and add the number roll to the attack roll or saving throw.

Speaker 7 I assume you pick your three party members? Yeah.

Speaker 44 Okay. I don't know.

Speaker 80 And that lasts for one minute.

Speaker 27 Yeah. So if we're doing like little spells, things like that, can I have had my poisoner's path thing prepped when we took the last short rest?

Speaker 10 I always forget to do it.

Speaker 39 It's okay. Okay, okay.

Speaker 40 What does that do to restrict?

Speaker 65 Whenever you make an attack roll or saving throw, you get a d4 to add to the end.

Speaker 40 And just once?

Speaker 47 No, for a minute.

Speaker 62 Oh,

Speaker 118 while we're on the chase.

Speaker 6 Hey!

Speaker 104 Hey,

Speaker 27 I'm gonna take a bite of a brownie.

Speaker 18 Ooh.

Speaker 64 Since we're all just doing little buffs.

Speaker 10 Some gastric fortitude.

Speaker 27 Bard brownie gives me bardic inspiration. I get three charges of it.
I don't remember where I got this.

Speaker 74 Maybe the

Speaker 74 shop name Bartholomew Finn.

Speaker 70 Scourge, Skeg, Craig, Dregs.

Speaker 58 Dregs.

Speaker 40 You got there.

Speaker 3 I think that's where I got it.

Speaker 45 Anyways, I take a bite of a brownie.

Speaker 76 It's yummy.

Speaker 27 Chip has his mouth open. He's pointing at it.
Ah.

Speaker 33 Ah.

Speaker 84 He wants a knuckle sandwich.

Speaker 27 I let Chip take a bite of the brownie.

Speaker 10 It's just, I don't have to take the effect.

Speaker 66 He takes a bite of the brownie.

Speaker 27 I shove it in. Eat the brownie.
Eat the brownie, Chip.

Speaker 40 This is the most violent I've seen Mateen.

Speaker 56 It's like in Day Live when Rowdy Roddy Piper's trying to get the sunglasses on the glasses on Keith David.

Speaker 6 I love that movie.

Speaker 56 Alright, so is everyone ready to proceed?

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 56 You enter a dark grotto with white columns built into the walls.

Speaker 10 At the far northern end of the room, you see a disfigured figure facing away from you, hunched over, ranting.

Speaker 71 I've come too far to be stopped here at the dead end.

Speaker 27 Come now, I've done my part.

Speaker 93 You all feel the scarlet floor tremble beneath your feet, and the monstrosity turns to face you with a lipless fanged grimace.

Speaker 47 No, you four can't stop me. Not

Speaker 104 Unless...

Speaker 83 Perhaps you too wish to know the secret of Groteth?

Speaker 61 Yes.

Speaker 84 You have suffered a great loss in this world.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 84 Perhaps the greatest of all.

Speaker 2 Love was snatched from you.

Speaker 83 It's no mystery that you achingly long for your Carol

Speaker 71 to hold her again, to feel her warmth, to see her smile beaming back at you.

Speaker 53 Go on.

Speaker 71 Barney Farney, treat of your best years, robbed of your memories, deprived of your precious family, surely you're feeling your age weigh upon you.

Speaker 71 Like that of plate armor that you should have hung up years ago?

Speaker 92 Can I respond?

Speaker 71 Mathid Confisus,

Speaker 71 your carefree nonchalance is something to aspire to.

Speaker 71 Surely, you of all people lack nothing in this world.

Speaker 71 Or perchance, have you drifted through this immortal coil for so long that you have steadily been stripped of that which drives us all?

Speaker 29 Purpose.

Speaker 71 Oh, Elga, my sweet little Elga.

Speaker 119 Hugo.

Speaker 119 You have made your father proud, my dear.

Speaker 13 Truly a vampire is vampire among our people.

Speaker 83 I see it in your eyes, my child.

Speaker 71 The same thirst that lurks in my own gaze.

Speaker 101 Surely you are fatigued and perched of tiptoeing through a world that maligns you when they should all be bowing before you.

Speaker 117 And a crimson glint shimmers in Hugo's veined eyes.

Speaker 119 I can change all of your worlds.

Speaker 64 All you have to do is yield.

Speaker 83 Uh, everyone make a charisma saving throw.

Speaker 40 And don't forget, we have the blessed.

Speaker 24 Bless up, yo.

Speaker 8 20. That was 12 on me.

Speaker 19 23.

Speaker 106 I would be a 11.

Speaker 53 21.

Speaker 78 Some very charismatic party members here.

Speaker 66 I got the Riz, you know.

Speaker 13 I have faced you before, and I can do it again.

Speaker 27 You don't have much of a face left.

Speaker 64 The haggard Hugo spreads his bony wings and charges straight for you with fierce fangs.

Speaker 102 Everyone roll initiative.

Speaker 97 I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat that bell.

Speaker 54 That's what I wanted to do.

Speaker 14 20, 24, 21.

Speaker 40 I also rolled a 20.

Speaker 103 Not worth it now.

Speaker 40 Chip, what is your dexterity?

Speaker 39 15.

Speaker 40 Okay, so you go before me. Oh.

Speaker 10 Okay, so Mate was 24, Barney was 21, Chip and Elga were both 20, but Chip goes first. Yes.

Speaker 100 Wow, I'm going last initiative with a 20.

Speaker 95 That's crazy.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 27 Well, I got good initiative pontifiers now at this point.

Speaker 25 I'm going to roll for Hugo here.

Speaker 27 Roll a one. Go on, Dork.

Speaker 28 10.

Speaker 6 All right, Mateed, you're a first.

Speaker 95 It's Mateed, Barney, Chip, Elga, Hugo.

Speaker 80 He's charging at us?

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 91 Oh, we've twins. It's like Bilbo in fellowship.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 70 So scary.

Speaker 17 Sure. I'll charge at him.

Speaker 62 Come at me, bro.

Speaker 16 Got him.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 27 I'm going to.

Speaker 13 He's not expecting it.

Speaker 81 It's like when a bear charges you and you make yourself all big.

Speaker 23 It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, chill.

Speaker 44 What are we doing here?

Speaker 36 Hey. Oh.

Speaker 27 Yeah, I'm gonna use the spear of the superior baker.

Speaker 24 No. No.

Speaker 27 Listen, I would have used that, except that you pointed out I can't do stunning strikes with that.

Speaker 99 Correct.

Speaker 27 So I'm not gonna be using that as much anymore. So that's on you.

Speaker 16 Okay, guys.

Speaker 29 God damn, I'm ending this campaign.

Speaker 29 I'm gonna kill you all.

Speaker 27 Yeah, I'm just gonna go in for a two-handed strike. And I'm gonna do that by rolling a 30.

Speaker 17 Let me check. Oh, yeah, that hits.

Speaker 27 Okay, 1d8 plus 7. That's a 6, plus 7, 13.

Speaker 25 And it's piercing damage, right?

Speaker 27 Piercing damage, and I'm going to make it a stunning strike.

Speaker 81 What is the save? 75.

Speaker 13 I don't think so.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 27 I'm looking at my sheet right now. Constitution saving throw of 16.

Speaker 78 Okay, my Constitution's plus 3, so I need a 13 or better.

Speaker 27 Is he a disadvantage because he has no lips?

Speaker 6 He's sat where you hold all your constitution.

Speaker 70 If you're speaking a spell, it might

Speaker 20 affect your

Speaker 40 ability to have like proper speech patterns.

Speaker 27 I'm so sorry I'm getting hung up on the lipless detail, but it's just, you know, I mean, come on.

Speaker 89 That is, like, so unsettling to think about.

Speaker 121 He's jogging like this.

Speaker 98 All right, well, he rolled a 12 plus three, which is 15, which is a failure.

Speaker 10 However, he uses his legendary resistance to, instead of fail, to succeed on that saving probe.

Speaker 27 Well, I use Flurry of Blows to do another two unarmed strikes, which can be stunning strikes as well.

Speaker 90 I hate you.

Speaker 19 Yeah, well, you shouldn't give everybody legendary resistance.

Speaker 77 So that's how the croissant crumbles.

Speaker 27 That is 16 plus 9. 25.

Speaker 105 That hits.

Speaker 62 9. 9.
And is that slashing?

Speaker 27 Slashing, but

Speaker 27 it's considered magical.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 85 And then another stunning strike.

Speaker 4 17.

Speaker 28 Woo!

Speaker 27 Okay, that's a 13 plus 9, 21.

Speaker 6 To hit? Yeah, that hits.

Speaker 27 Doing 7 magical slashing.

Speaker 10 Okay.

Speaker 27 And then give me one more con saving throw.

Speaker 80 Alright, this is plus 3, 19.

Speaker 27 Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 65 Stop celebrating over there.

Speaker 62 This is bad, Gus.

Speaker 77 I mean, it's all perspective.

Speaker 103 From my perspective, the Jedi are evil.

Speaker 26 That's good.

Speaker 76 Okay, that's very

Speaker 76 good.

Speaker 27 My movement, I want to, since in order order to do these strikes, I have to be up on him on a melee distance. Okay, so I'm right next to him then.

Speaker 99 Yes.

Speaker 27 Nice wings. Mine have feathers.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 56 He takes ego damage.

Speaker 28 Oh.

Speaker 44 You go. So many nasty wings.

Speaker 72 Oh, my self-esteem.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Don't make Trevor say.

Speaker 41 Oh, my self-esteem.

Speaker 58 Is that it for you?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we done.

Speaker 47 Barney, you're up.

Speaker 65 I'm going to cast Flamestrike.

Speaker 16 Flamestrike.

Speaker 6 Flamestrike. That's new.

Speaker 65 A vertical column of divine fire roars down from the heavens in a location you specify.

Speaker 65 Each creature in a 10-foot radius, 40-foot-high cylinder centered on a point within range, must make a dexterity-saving throw.

Speaker 65 The creature takes 46 fire damage and 46 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Speaker 27 Keep in mind, Mateed's like up on Hugo, so maybe aim past him.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I just aim it.

Speaker 95 Yeah, I'll say it's possible to aim it in a a way that only encompasses Hugo and does not engulf Mate.

Speaker 85 So it's a dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 13 What's the save DC on it?

Speaker 40 Dex 18.

Speaker 6 Dex 18. All right.

Speaker 111 Best of luck, Ugo.

Speaker 18 My dex is plus three, so I need a 15 or better.

Speaker 14 Yeah, you're not going to make that.

Speaker 79 He's going to do it now because he just.

Speaker 39 Oh, three.

Speaker 45 Take it back. Take it back.

Speaker 57 The 4d6.

Speaker 65 So that's 16.

Speaker 13 16 fire.

Speaker 60 21 radiant.

Speaker 79 That's a good roll, Chris.

Speaker 28 Good boy.

Speaker 62 The holy fire seems to strike down from above and it envelops Hugo, who begins screaming in pain.

Speaker 25 How far away is he right now from me?

Speaker 95 You didn't move up yet, so he's at the very edge of the range of your spell, which is about 60 feet.

Speaker 11 I move up within five feet.

Speaker 17 Move up to Hugo.

Speaker 80 Do you have 55 feet of move?

Speaker 122 Oh, no, I don't.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, I don't at all.

Speaker 104 This is DD.

Speaker 13 You didn't realize he was 60 feet away, even though I just had to.

Speaker 45 I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 78 I was reading my spell as my bonus action.

Speaker 111 I'll move forward my 30 feet towards him.

Speaker 58 Okay.

Speaker 65 And then I'm going to

Speaker 65 telekinetic shove

Speaker 27 me five feet further.

Speaker 41 You should telekinetic shove yourself.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 93 So you're 25 feet away from him.

Speaker 50 Before he hit the NOS.

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Speaker 107 Is that it for you?

Speaker 122 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Are we allowed to know how that damaged Hugo? Because

Speaker 40 I imagine he's vulnerable to Radiant.

Speaker 88 Yes, you know that as a vampire yourself, that Radiant, bad.

Speaker 22 Cool. For vampires.

Speaker 10 From a metagame perspective, it's considered a vulnerability.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 94 That was Barney's turn, so we got Chip, and then after Chip, Eliga.

Speaker 95 Okay.

Speaker 51 Really quick.

Speaker 6 How far away is he again for me?

Speaker 99 About 60 feet.

Speaker 96 60 feet.

Speaker 40 Is that all of us to like?

Speaker 97 Yeah, except not Mateed, who's up in melee range, and now Barney is 25 feet away.

Speaker 27 I'm going to use my movement to get up as close as I can to Hugo, so that would be 40 feet.

Speaker 56 So you get within 20 feet of him.

Speaker 27 And then I want to take cunning action to dash the remainder of that distance.

Speaker 13 So that uses your bonus action to continue to close the distance.

Speaker 31 And keep in mind, this is 60 feet.

Speaker 69 This entire 60 feet, Chip is screaming, charging. He's got his crossbow of coolness out, and he's prepped the bitter cold bayonet.

Speaker 43 So he's charging at him with a bayonet, going,

Speaker 105 like the scene in Monty Python.

Speaker 94 Yeah. The charging scene

Speaker 99 goes on forever.

Speaker 27 And then then I'm going to, yes, use my crossbow of coolness.

Speaker 64 Because he hasn't taken an action.

Speaker 27 That is going to be an assassinate thing. You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet.

Speaker 27 And any hit you score against the creature, that is surprised as a critical hit. Don't think he's surprised if you're screaming at him, though.

Speaker 17 He's not surprised, but.

Speaker 64 So that's a 19 and a 16 and then I'm going to roll the d4 for bliss.

Speaker 27 So technically it's a 21. You hit.

Speaker 64 Okay, so I'm gonna do the damage with that attack.

Speaker 27 So that's nine. Nine points of cold damage because it's from the crossbow of coolness.
So in addition to that, I also do the 5d6 damage because of sneak attack.

Speaker 83 It wasn't very sneaky.

Speaker 27 But because Matita is within five feet, I get that extra 5d6.

Speaker 65 Yep. And that is...

Speaker 13 I don't see a lot of high numbers there. 18.

Speaker 27 Kind of damage.

Speaker 49 Since it's sneak die, it's just additional.

Speaker 105 I think this would be considered some kind of piercing damage, most likely.

Speaker 10 Yes. And then, I don't know if I can stack this.

Speaker 64 I'll just ask.

Speaker 27 You know, remember when I said that I wanted to have that poison kit? Yeah.

Speaker 103 Okay, I'd like to use that. Okay.
Regis.

Speaker 105 My life is. Is that

Speaker 97 like a bonus stack or anything, right?

Speaker 25 You just use it?

Speaker 69 It says, you gain expertise with the poisoners kit.

Speaker 27 During a short rest, you can create a one single use injury, touch, ingested, or inhaled poison.

Speaker 27 Non-effect, the target must make a constitution saving throw DC10 plus your proficiency bonus or take 2d6 plus 4 damage.

Speaker 98 Yeah, so then metagame-wise, it would be that you had applied it to the dagger.

Speaker 56 The dagger, right?

Speaker 58 Yeah,

Speaker 27 because I'm going to make it a touch thing.

Speaker 25 Well, this would be injury, I think, because it's not like you're touching a menu.

Speaker 10 Totally what I said.

Speaker 39 An injury poison.

Speaker 27 Anyways, so you need to make a DC10 plus your proficiency bonus.

Speaker 22 I guess it's a 14, roll a 14.

Speaker 83 14 constitution saving.

Speaker 6 Oh, don't roll a 14, roll like a 1 or something.

Speaker 26 I call 14 plus 3.

Speaker 106 I need an 11 or better.

Speaker 98 19. It was an 8, and then it switched at the last second.

Speaker 10 19. 22.

Speaker 25 Successful save.

Speaker 27 Okay, so then do you take any of that or do you take half?

Speaker 28 Probably half?

Speaker 95 No.

Speaker 25 It doesn't say that.

Speaker 95 It just

Speaker 51 shrugs it off.

Speaker 67 That's okay.

Speaker 43 And then.

Speaker 68 And then.

Speaker 27 Yes, and you have to be done at that point.

Speaker 107 I think I'm going to get done at that point.

Speaker 28 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 There's one other thing.

Speaker 86 There's one other thing.

Speaker 34 Because the way you said it.

Speaker 51 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 21 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 27 Because it's the crossbow coolness, and I charged him with the bitter cold bayonet on a hit, you can expend a charge, no action, and the target must make a DC-15 constitution saving throw or become frozen.

Speaker 83 See, Petrus fighting.

Speaker 99 That's all I'll start the next turn.

Speaker 10 So roll for a constitutional.

Speaker 6 I'm trying to stop you. Yeah.

Speaker 121 Okay.

Speaker 20 What was the DC on it again?

Speaker 53 DC 15.

Speaker 44 Stop rolling high numbers.

Speaker 10 Constitution is plus three. I need a 12 or better.

Speaker 66 This is for your own good, Gus.

Speaker 6 That's a 13, so that's a failure.

Speaker 14 There you go.

Speaker 66 Yay! So

Speaker 14 you're frozen.

Speaker 13 You look really warm from the fire.

Speaker 27 Now start singing an Adina Menzel song.

Speaker 40 So what effects does that have on Hugo?

Speaker 103 You see, from where the bayonet pierced Hugo's side, it seems like icy tendrils start spreading across his skin, slowing his movement, eventually freezing him solid in place.

Speaker 69 Well, gang, we did it.

Speaker 99 We beat the final boss.

Speaker 27 Which you're able to do because I burned through his legendary resistance.

Speaker 19 You're welcome.

Speaker 90 Thank you.

Speaker 14 Okay, good, good, Kai Fives all around, Dean.

Speaker 51 Is that it for you?

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 27 because I have 20 feet of remaining movement and he's frozen, so I can't imagine he can take a tactile opportunity. So I'll use that to move away from him.

Speaker 92 Okay, you move 20 feet away, and that's it for your turn, right?

Speaker 19 Yeah, but I moonwalk away.

Speaker 27 I stab him, and then I go...

Speaker 98 Elga, that means it's your turn.

Speaker 11 I would like to rage.

Speaker 103 Despite all her rage, still just a bad indication.

Speaker 27 Form of.

Speaker 104 Do I have to decide right now?

Speaker 39 I do have to decide right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 89 Form of the beast with bite.

Speaker 58 Bite!

Speaker 40 I'm going to take bite.

Speaker 66 Do you lose your lips?

Speaker 74 No.

Speaker 112 They actually get bigger. I just get the giant teeth.

Speaker 40 Then I want to move up 40 feet.

Speaker 27 You know when a child for Halloween puts those teeth in?

Speaker 91 yeah,

Speaker 45 that's me right now.

Speaker 25 That's so gross. So you take them out.

Speaker 70 Oh, I hate it.

Speaker 39 Oh, and they never fit.

Speaker 66 They always hurt.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 28 I'm sorry, Elka. Oh, Barbara.

Speaker 40 I want to move about 40 feet on my whole walking speed. And then I'm going to throw my axe of the scarab towards Hugo.
Okay. So to hit

Speaker 40 and say 25.

Speaker 39 That hits. Okay.

Speaker 28 Doing.

Speaker 96 Oh my god.

Speaker 100 Eight plus, I guess, three three

Speaker 104 because it's slashing and I'm ranging.

Speaker 98 So I don't know if you get your rage bonus on ranged stuff.

Speaker 27 Is it melee?

Speaker 95 It might be melee. Let me double-check.

Speaker 37 I might be wrong.

Speaker 88 Let me just double-check that real quick.

Speaker 40 So this is a this attack type is melee here.

Speaker 95 I'm gonna say no because when you throw it, that is range because it does have a range on it.

Speaker 106 It's not just a bait within melee.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 80 So, eight, you still do eight.

Speaker 40 All right, well, I'll do it again.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 40 Uh, to hit, That is a 29.

Speaker 51 Okay, yeah, that hits.

Speaker 40 Doing.

Speaker 40 There we go, it's a little better.

Speaker 63 13 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 97 When you throw the axe of the scarab, it hits Hugo, chips off a little piece of his shoulder for eight points of damage.

Speaker 98 Then you resummon the axe of the scarab back to your hand and throw it again.

Speaker 105 It hits him so hard, it unfreezes him, crying out in agony as his deformed, damaged frame falls to the ground.

Speaker 101 You

Speaker 71 must be feeling pretty good about yourselves right now, I suppose.

Speaker 63 Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 71 Like heroes at the end of a long adventure.

Speaker 50 Well done.

Speaker 39 We're clapping now.

Speaker 81 Why are we clapping?

Speaker 101 But we've been here before.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 4 All five of us.

Speaker 71 And I fell to my death then, just as well.

Speaker 4 But this time...

Speaker 58 This time is different.

Speaker 120 I know the part I play.

Speaker 34 Do you?

Speaker 34 And then rather abruptly, Hugo falls to the floor unmoving his red eyes fixed eternally on the four of you

Speaker 74 for my whole life and I'll never forgive you but worst of all you're just an evil person and I don't like you and I will never love you

Speaker 21 and then she spits

Speaker 51 onto his face I kick him

Speaker 118 Barney uh goes up and uh lowers his head.

Speaker 28 Oh, okay.

Speaker 40 Elga runs over to Barney and and embraces him. Aw, sweet.

Speaker 27 I join Mate in the kicking while he's down.

Speaker 28 You go for the head, I'll go for the butt.

Speaker 44 Okay.

Speaker 74 Well, he guys, he said something about that he was playing a part. Do you think this was all a trap?

Speaker 66 Yes.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 74 Thank you, Mate.

Speaker 66 I do not think that this

Speaker 27 adventure is quite over. We still have to uncover the mystery of this whole Ma situation and what he was after.

Speaker 30 Yeah. With a rumble, the Scarlet brown quakes middle view once more.

Speaker 103 But this time, the entire grotto begins to tremor and fracture.

Speaker 6 The surrounding white columns slowly start to split open vertically, and the floor lifts and undulates wildly, throwing the foreview toward the pillars.

Speaker 97 As you slide along the floor, you quickly realize the columns are pointed and jagged on the ends, like giant white spikes. Can everyone make dexterity saving throws?

Speaker 87 11.

Speaker 87 12 for Elga.

Speaker 33 Uh, 24.

Speaker 96 I rolled a 9, but I have a evasion you are subject to, the effect that allows you to make a deck-saving throw. You only take half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed.

Speaker 83 Alright, so everyone failed except for Mateen.

Speaker 97 So you're all going to take a little bit of piercing damage.

Speaker 96 Chip, you take half of this.

Speaker 117 Five points of damage.

Speaker 96 Chip, you take two.

Speaker 49 You pass through the spikes, and suddenly you're free-falling as if from a towering cliffside. Torrential wind is zipping past you, your body's flailing wildly downward.

Speaker 49 You have but seconds to save yourselves from plummeting to your deaths.

Speaker 89 I turn into a bat. I go,

Speaker 27 I'll crab, I'll grab chip.

Speaker 95 It's dark, I'll turn it, I'll float.

Speaker 99 Depth of night. That all sounds pretty good.

Speaker 86 Just for funsies, Mateid, just make a strength check just to make sure you're able to grab and hold on to Chip.

Speaker 27 I rolled a gnat 20. 24.

Speaker 86 You're able to swoop over and.

Speaker 99 Actually, I'm kind of sad.

Speaker 102 I rolled a nat 20 on that one.

Speaker 25 Just miss me entirely.

Speaker 113 I go, I'll help you. Don't worry, Chip.

Speaker 44 Grab my little wing.

Speaker 44 No.

Speaker 64 Mate's got my shoulders, but then Elga has my tail, like just like dainty holding it in her mouth.

Speaker 37 So you all are able to interrupt the fall and lightly land on the ground below.

Speaker 95 After the dust finally settles, you all gather your bearings and survey your surroundings. It's dark.

Speaker 37 Maybe nighttime?

Speaker 3 There's no stars or moons in the sky, but a faint red glow lingers just past a mountain.

Speaker 10 You all struggle to make sense of what you see, but your faculties are failing you.

Speaker 95 The blackened ground feels parched far beyond desert sands ever should be.

Speaker 105 The air feels stale and eerily silent.

Speaker 49 The ground shifts, vibrating under you.

Speaker 117 As you look around, you instantly find the cause.

Speaker 26 The mountains are moving.

Speaker 117 As the mounds shift, you also realize the source of red light.

Speaker 6 It's a half sun.

Speaker 13 The faint vermilion blaze casts a shadow across the mountain, or what should be a mountain.

Speaker 49 You see the rows of white spikes high up in the sky.

Speaker 21 They open wide, revealing themselves to be one massive mob.

Speaker 97 An oddly familiar voice bellows, both inside your minds and all around you.

Speaker 12 Welcome, welcome. Oh, I do love visitors.

Speaker 117 Elephantine tentacles with claws emerge from the sides of the mountainous monster and rushed straight for you.

Speaker 70 Everyone roll initiative.

Speaker 87 Oh, good lord.

Speaker 29 The great ma!

Speaker 64 Wait, Hugo the Ma?

Speaker 40 No, I think Hugo was just serving the maw and like probably...

Speaker 59 I thought the maw was like a benevolent like deity.

Speaker 112 But it seems to recognize us.

Speaker 59 Yeah, you said a familiar voice?

Speaker 28 Yeah, a light.

Speaker 19 That's the voice, because we can't hear it now.

Speaker 24 Familiar, but not in a way you feel like you can place or you can have a farm.

Speaker 6 All right, everyone roll initiative.

Speaker 35 10, 11, 8.

Speaker 27 You guys are really bad at counting down.

Speaker 101 12!

Speaker 40 12, 11, 10, 8.

Speaker 91 Much lower than our first thought.

Speaker 21 Yeah, that was really bad.

Speaker 39 Let me roll for the mountain.

Speaker 109 All right, guys, now we got to fight a mountain.

Speaker 7 17.

Speaker 40 Did this thing say it was the mall?

Speaker 27 It didn't, but we're assuming.

Speaker 69 It says, yeah, you're familiar.

Speaker 23 So I go first.

Speaker 18 The mountain? Yeah, the way it should be.

Speaker 49 Can I do like a right-click info on this mountain?

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's like three skulls.

Speaker 70 Is that difficulty?

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 41 We're zero skulls.

Speaker 27 That means that we can't tell what level it is because it's so high.

Speaker 50 Go.

Speaker 105 You all feel a torrential wind buffeting you from behind, as if pushing you closer to the mountain.

Speaker 95 Everyone make a

Speaker 10 just call it a dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 27 27.

Speaker 89 21.

Speaker 27 14 with evasion.

Speaker 27 If I take damage, it'll be half.

Speaker 38 I rolled a one.

Speaker 12 Oh, Barney.

Speaker 40 Barney's just so overwhelmed by seeing a talking mountain that he just...

Speaker 28 Ow!

Speaker 95 So, Elga and Mate, you're able to stand your ground, but Chip and Barney, the winds suck you in and pull you even closer to the mountain.

Speaker 109 So that's what I wanted, because, you know, melee attacks.

Speaker 40 Is this like the mountain is in, like, the Game of Thrones mountain, where it's just a big dude?

Speaker 52 Well, Well, it's just like a it's it's huge, right?

Speaker 98 It's just like a mountainous amalgamation of a monster.

Speaker 103 It's got a massive maw, an assortment of eyes, ten giant tentaclaws, and an extensive streak of red across its belly and neck.

Speaker 28 Streak of red on the belly and neck?

Speaker 27 Yeah, those might be the weak points, so aim for those.

Speaker 6 They're not glowing, though. Ow.
Ow, ow.

Speaker 21 Ow.

Speaker 27 And it's got a big T on its chest.

Speaker 87 It's a superhero.

Speaker 63 Ooh.

Speaker 20 Tentacles.

Speaker 6 Okay, so it pulled Chip and Barney closer.

Speaker 103 I'm going to roll a die to see what attacks.

Speaker 10 One and two, Barney, three and four, chip.

Speaker 17 One, that's Barney. Oh, my God.

Speaker 27 That makes sense. He rolled a one.

Speaker 103 One of the giant tentaclaws lashes out at you, Barney. Okay.

Speaker 26 Hitting.

Speaker 27 Let's see some real damage here, Gus. Come on.

Speaker 116 I'm trying to support Gus.

Speaker 17 Hitting AC 18.

Speaker 99 That does not hit?

Speaker 122 Does not hit.

Speaker 98 Oh, you have like a 20 or something, right?

Speaker 118 All right.

Speaker 98 I'm going to make another attack.

Speaker 122 One or two, Barney, three or four chip.

Speaker 28 Blurring at me.

Speaker 102 Two. It's Barney again.

Speaker 64 I'm sitting there on my knees praying.

Speaker 13 No doubt. Hit the old man.

Speaker 21 Take him instead.

Speaker 10 Lashes out, hitting AC

Speaker 65 35. That one hits.

Speaker 94 Shockingly.

Speaker 51 Doing 40 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 77 40? Yeah.

Speaker 104 That's a lot.

Speaker 40 Are we high enough level for this?

Speaker 14 We're level 9.

Speaker 27 This must be the level 20 boss fight.

Speaker 37 And you are now grappled.

Speaker 62 It has you in its grip in one of its tentaclaws.

Speaker 81 A third tentaclaw lashes out at chip.

Speaker 93 Got it.

Speaker 68 Oh, yeah, that. All right.

Speaker 7 Hitting AC23.

Speaker 14 Roll it again because I have super groovy cape that is called the Cloak of Displacement, I believe.

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 103 So it attacks are at disadvantage against you, right?

Speaker 40 Correct. I just want to point out that he rolled a 35 attacking Barney.
He has a very high modifier.

Speaker 27 It's like it's an item that automatically does it, doesn't it?

Speaker 6 Yeah. I'm just saying it.

Speaker 41 Yeah. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 100 That's not awesome.

Speaker 19 He's not hurting the lucky.

Speaker 27 He's using an item that stays. Yeah.
Copy.

Speaker 10 So that's a good idea. You're concerned, Barb.

Speaker 34 I would be there with you.

Speaker 13 This is 27 and a what?

Speaker 96 23.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 28 Is that a hit?

Speaker 87 I see.

Speaker 14 Let me do the quick math. Yeah, that hits it.

Speaker 39 Okay, okay, yeah.

Speaker 106 I need you to tell me.

Speaker 18 Please, I need this.

Speaker 40 Gus needs the validation of hurting you.

Speaker 34 Doing 42 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 57 And you are now grappled as well.

Speaker 64 I have uncanny dodge.

Speaker 27 When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to have the attack's damage against you.

Speaker 10 Okay, so 21.

Speaker 78 Oh, wait, no, no, but

Speaker 103 you had to have had dodge already.

Speaker 14 As a reaction?

Speaker 61 Oh, it's as a reaction?

Speaker 14 Yeah, it's a reaction.

Speaker 18 Oh,

Speaker 27 you have patient defense, which is that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking of.

Speaker 95 So 21 points of damage.

Speaker 27 And spoiler gus, I will be using that.

Speaker 60 21

Speaker 27 damage. So we all know what my bonus action is already.

Speaker 64 You're calling it.

Speaker 44 And you're grappled.

Speaker 18 And I'm grappled. Yeah.
I grapple back. I hold on.

Speaker 66 I got you where I wanted you.

Speaker 94 It's just like judo.

Speaker 69 You just got to use its weight against it and toss it onto the ground.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 27 He's just this spec fighting a mountain.

Speaker 25 Speaking of a spec, it's your turn, Chip.

Speaker 10 Okay. Okay, let me see.

Speaker 27 A grapple creature's speed becomes zero and it can't pass.

Speaker 60 You just want speed.

Speaker 64 You can do everything, you just can't move.

Speaker 14 Then I.

Speaker 78 And you can also, if you want, try to escape it.

Speaker 75 Yeah

Speaker 101 no

Speaker 29 okay

Speaker 16 Because you're grappling it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we're supposed to try to fight this thing.

Speaker 69 All right, I'm gonna use my crossbow of coolness once again.

Speaker 27 Okay, I mean if you want to run away Elga, I'll go

Speaker 40 I'm just trying to like decipher if this is a thing we actually could potentially be fighting or like if it's something that's a lost common.

Speaker 66 Don't worry, gang, I'll soften them up for you and Mate and Elga.

Speaker 79 All right, guys.

Speaker 40 You're just the base of a mountain just touching.

Speaker 26 I'm kind of warm.

Speaker 94 So I'm going to use the crossbow of coolness.

Speaker 28 You're a little one.

Speaker 27 I'm going to use my inspiration die.

Speaker 73 That's more like it. A 23.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 10 So that's eight points of cold damage.

Speaker 27 And then I also want to use a charge for range drive.

Speaker 69 Upon firing a crossbow bolt at an enemy, hit or miss, as a bonus action, you can expend a charge to cause the bolt to explode with Icy Charge. Charge.

Speaker 69 Each Each creature within 10 feet of the target must make a DC 15 dexterity saving throw or take 46 cold damage.

Speaker 24 Okay. So there.

Speaker 65 So it's going to affect it, you, and Barney.

Speaker 61 Well, what are you shooting?

Speaker 14 Oh, well, I mean...

Speaker 6 All creatures within 10 feet of it?

Speaker 27 Yeah, but I'm not sh like, can I aim for like a different part of it that's not hard?

Speaker 6 Barney says all creatures within 10 feet of it.

Speaker 109 Well, you know, I shot a bolt at it.

Speaker 91 It's a big thing.

Speaker 6 I don't have to aim at this.

Speaker 40 Also, is each tentaclaw a different creature?

Speaker 28 No.

Speaker 23 That's a good attempt.

Speaker 64 Okay, but if a creature, let's say it's 100 feet big, right?

Speaker 109 And I just shoot at it like

Speaker 52 to the far left and we're over to the right, that's not within 10 feet.

Speaker 64 Like,

Speaker 65 can I aim the crossbow bolt so that it's not going to hit where Barney and I are?

Speaker 52 Make a roller persuasion check against me.

Speaker 55 I see this.

Speaker 29 I see this. No.

Speaker 34 This is good. Okay, I have a plus 12.

Speaker 10 Are you opposing?

Speaker 40 Yeah, what's your, do you guys have modifiers?

Speaker 113 What'd you roll?

Speaker 63 14. Okay.

Speaker 51 Yeah, I'm sure.

Speaker 6 I'll give it to you.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you persuaded me, Blaine.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 81 I like making checks against the DM.

Speaker 41 That's fun.

Speaker 97 4D,

Speaker 7 6 cold dishes.

Speaker 39 The dice decide it.

Speaker 58 Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 27 That is a not terrible 16.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 27 I want to get out of the grapple and, if possible, use cunning action. Yeah.

Speaker 49 Wait,

Speaker 97 did you use your bonus action already?

Speaker 51 No, you did. Yeah.

Speaker 27 Did I? To do the explosion.

Speaker 90 Yeah, you said as a bonus action.

Speaker 50 Oh, oh, no.

Speaker 39 Did I lose?

Speaker 29 Yes, yes, you did.

Speaker 50 I want that isolated character.

Speaker 18 Did I lose?

Speaker 27 Can I try to get out of the grapple, though?

Speaker 27 Or is that a bonus?

Speaker 25 Like, that's for movement.

Speaker 86 Normally, yeah, but why not?

Speaker 99 I'll let you try.

Speaker 18 Oh, okay.

Speaker 118 Make

Speaker 115 your choice, either strength or dexterity.

Speaker 27 Sound of a man looking at a high modifier on the character he's looking at.

Speaker 50 Let's try.

Speaker 27 Strength or dexterity.

Speaker 77 Hold on, go. It's old Dex.

Speaker 79 Watch out. Seven.

Speaker 33 Nah.

Speaker 32 I doubled down on my grip on the chin doll.

Speaker 23 You're not going anywhere.

Speaker 101 You've got him right where you want him.

Speaker 27 Chip combat is the best part of combat.

Speaker 99 Elga.

Speaker 113 Oh, it's my turn.

Speaker 98 Yeah, it's Elga, then Mateed, then Barney.

Speaker 74 Well, I am still a bat.

Speaker 12 Beat.

Speaker 74 Um, how far away am I from this guy?

Speaker 12 You're 30 feet.

Speaker 89 I am using my flying speed

Speaker 96 to get over right up close

Speaker 12 to this thing.

Speaker 40 And I want to aim at the, I guess, tentaclaw that's grappling Barney. Okay.
I will rage again. Okay.

Speaker 80 Turn back into Elga?

Speaker 98 Or can you rage as a bat?

Speaker 26 Oh.

Speaker 29 That was a genuine question, but I like the response.

Speaker 40 I imagine I cannot rage or attack as a bat.

Speaker 50 I don't think so.

Speaker 40 Yeah, so I turn back into the attack.

Speaker 113 Elga.

Speaker 40 And then I will rage.

Speaker 91 I like that.

Speaker 27 You zoom in with your flight speed, but then like mid-air turn into Elga.

Speaker 6 So you're still flying with

Speaker 102 the movement.

Speaker 40 And I will pick the form of the tail.

Speaker 28 All right.

Speaker 40 I'm going to take out my great axe of gaining. Get those gains.
And try to slice down on the Attempt of Claw that's holding Barney.

Speaker 100 Okay.

Speaker 40 So to a hit, that is a 23. That hits.
Thanks.

Speaker 28 Doing.

Speaker 30 Oh man.

Speaker 27 11 points. What note was that, Micah?

Speaker 40 14 points of slashing damage.

Speaker 100 Okay.

Speaker 40 Does it seem to weaken its grasp or anything on Barney?

Speaker 83 Make a perception check.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 40 I see nothing. I rolled a one with a plus five, six.

Speaker 62 It still seems to have a very tight grasp on Barney.

Speaker 38 Okay. Barney, I will get you out of there.

Speaker 29 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 29 Oh gosh, you're killing him.

Speaker 14 He's getting a Kirin.

Speaker 40 I'll slice it again with my great axe.

Speaker 100 All Alright.

Speaker 40 I'm going to use an inspiration die because that's a 14. I imagine that does not hit.

Speaker 6 Okay. Oh, man.

Speaker 40 13.

Speaker 38 No.

Speaker 95 Sorry.

Speaker 47 Alright, well.

Speaker 84 He's no good.

Speaker 40 He's no good. I guess that's my turn then.

Speaker 22 Okay.

Speaker 10 Elga's furiously Elga in at one of the ten o'clocks, which means it's Mateed and then Barney.

Speaker 19 How big is this thing?

Speaker 27 Are we talking Empire State Building? Are we talking dump truck?

Speaker 86 Yeah, dump.

Speaker 27 Yeah. What's the scale here? you said a mountain mountains range now there is a mountain range

Speaker 6 what did you ask that question just to lead up to that joke i found that joke as i said it's gonna say we're all brown it's um from d d scale it's gargantuan so like the size of a 7-eleven or a bucky's okay

Speaker 51 it's gargantuan 32 to 64 feet tall okay oh okay that's right manageable

Speaker 27 pretty tall phase inside of it like vision and then mess with its organs. He says a big maw

Speaker 56 it has a massive maw.

Speaker 40 When you say maw, what is like a mouth?

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 40 Is it open?

Speaker 56 Sure, why not?

Speaker 27 Can I fly into it?

Speaker 56 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 27 Okay, I fly into the mouth.

Speaker 40 We must nourish the maw.

Speaker 69 Wait, there might be something to that.

Speaker 77 Probably. Maybe the information we discovered.

Speaker 27 This is intentional.

Speaker 14 This is my plan.

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 76 Okay. If I go to a tea.

Speaker 40 He doesn't like poultry, though, so.

Speaker 54 Not a chicken.

Speaker 44 But not all birds are poultry.

Speaker 113 You're right.

Speaker 84 You're the bravest person I've ever met.

Speaker 91 I go into the maw.

Speaker 110 Okay.

Speaker 27 And what do I see?

Speaker 13 You fly into a damp, fetid, stinking giant mouth with horrific teeth everywhere.

Speaker 70 Did it have a face? Yeah.

Speaker 41 It has eyes, you said, right? Yeah, it's got eyes.

Speaker 10 Just for, I guess, perspective, you fly in and you know what this is.

Speaker 62 You just came out of here.

Speaker 59 Oh, we were in. That was the.

Speaker 27 that was oh is it like scarlet stuff with gray slime yeah oh

Speaker 40 we were in it you wait is hugo here no well he's dead yeah you see his body uh hanging on a tooth oh

Speaker 40 so then at the end oh it were the white pillar's teeth yes yes that's why they have spikes on the ends

Speaker 66 so from my perspective visually looking at this big old mouth is there a throat yes you realize that's where you were before this we're We were in the throat.

Speaker 13 And now you will remain where you are.

Speaker 6 In the hallway before we went into there.

Speaker 76 Were we in its stomach?

Speaker 18 You were.

Speaker 40 Oh, wait, so wait, the

Speaker 40 lockwid that we were in, wasn't it stomach?

Speaker 24 Yeah, all the

Speaker 70 green gas.

Speaker 33 Did we go through its butt?

Speaker 55 No.

Speaker 33 No. No, no.

Speaker 69 So is the lock with saliva or

Speaker 6 stomach acid? Yeah.

Speaker 27 Could I then theoretically travel back to the stomach area?

Speaker 52 Theoretically, you could could try, but the whole area's moving in a way it wasn't before.

Speaker 98 Like, you could try to start making your way down there.

Speaker 56 It would take a while, but it's way more treacherous than before.

Speaker 6 Whereas before, it seemed like a stable room.

Speaker 7 Now everything's sloshing about and moving.

Speaker 91 Like, the floor becomes the wall, becomes the ceiling.

Speaker 17 Everything's all topsy-turvy.

Speaker 49 Can I fly up to its face and attack its eyes?

Speaker 53 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 27 If I threw the battle goozling on top of the mall,

Speaker 27 could it stay on top of the maw and keep attacking it? It could try, sure. Okay, I'm gonna do that.

Speaker 47 Go, Pierre!

Speaker 101 We!

Speaker 66 Piercing.

Speaker 27 And that would be my action?

Speaker 16 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 27 Okay, then that's what I'm gonna do. I throw the goozling on the maw.
I want to be, like, hovering in front of the maw and use the patient defense to take dodge. Okay.
And now it's the goozling.

Speaker 101 Okay.

Speaker 27 And the goozling is going to attack the maw.

Speaker 52 We save Groteth.

Speaker 27 And in Atro City, they build a giant statue of a goose.

Speaker 13 And then, like, four

Speaker 69 little idiots below the goose.

Speaker 27 It uses bubbling hiss and exhales an acidic bubbles in a 15-foot cone because I wanted to hit as many eyes as I could. Okay.
So the creature must make a DC13 deck saving throw.

Speaker 27 I bet its dexterity is not great because it's a mountain.

Speaker 51 Plus three. Oh, okay.

Speaker 13 That's a 16.

Speaker 78 My dexterity. Okay, you take half.

Speaker 26 Or like 100.

Speaker 105 I catch.

Speaker 64 14 plus 2, 16 acidic acidic damage.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 27 And I'm done.

Speaker 94 Barney, you are still grappled.

Speaker 63 Okay.

Speaker 60 I want to use my channel divinity Twilight Sanctuary. As an action, you present your holy symbol, and a sphere of Twilight emanates from you.

Speaker 60 The sphere is centered on you, has a 30-foot radius, and is filled with them light. Sphere removes with me and lasts for one minute.

Speaker 65 Whenever a creature, including you, ends its turn in the sphere, you can grant that creature one of the benefits.

Speaker 60 1d6 plus 9 temporary hit points or

Speaker 118 removes charm to frightened.

Speaker 60 Okay.

Speaker 61 And then I want to, Barney wants to try and like fight his way through out of the maw.

Speaker 39 Or I mean, out of the

Speaker 13 grapple.

Speaker 24 All right, so you're going to make a check.

Speaker 65 And I think what happens is instead of like doing that exactly, he

Speaker 108 incorporeal moves through it.

Speaker 70 Okay.

Speaker 65 And you phase into a misty version of yourself for the duration. The spell lasts for one minute.

Speaker 40 Oh, Elgo sees this happening.

Speaker 28 a matter of

Speaker 16 I think Barney doesn't know.

Speaker 27 You guys remember he's dead, right?

Speaker 6 We went over this.

Speaker 27 We don't need to keep the pretense off anymore.

Speaker 41 He's not

Speaker 40 hasn't been made obvious of what he is.

Speaker 41 Oh, he was in.

Speaker 27 I found his body and he's in his coffin.

Speaker 45 I saw it.

Speaker 57 Elga is as shocked at the Barney reveal as Barney was shocked at the Elga reveal.

Speaker 20 I saw the body. They're renting the family.

Speaker 52 They refuse to acknowledge what is right in front of them.

Speaker 74 It could have been a dummy body. It could have been.

Speaker 26 It was a dummy body.

Speaker 116 I have Gagar for ghosts, okay? I know when I see a ghost.

Speaker 65 And I can't cast any spells or anything, but I'm also like immune bomb in that. You have to, it lasts for a minute.

Speaker 27 Yeah.

Speaker 97 Yeah, that's what I was double-checking.

Speaker 62 It's resistance, not immunity. Oh, sorry, resistance.

Speaker 106 And then I'm going to go ahead and roll for that bonus HP.

Speaker 88 Premier Twilight.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so that's 12 bonus HP.

Speaker 44 Okay.

Speaker 93 And just for the record within corporeal movement, you have resistance to non-magical damage.

Speaker 6 Okay, cool.

Speaker 78 So it's not immunity tall damage.

Speaker 24 It's a lot more narrow.

Speaker 62 Okay, it's the mountain's turn again.

Speaker 38 It lost its grip on Barney.

Speaker 7 Everyone, go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

Speaker 27 27.

Speaker 101 Wow.

Speaker 69 15.

Speaker 111 FK. That's a 12.

Speaker 95 Alright, only Barney succeeded then.

Speaker 10 Everyone else is just frightened at the horror that is looking at this giant creature and the daunting task that lies before you.

Speaker 6 Is that a condition we should add? Yes.

Speaker 115 If you're frightened, you can repeat your saving throw at the end of your turn.

Speaker 65 Also, my Twilight Sanctuary can remove frightened.

Speaker 44 Ooh.

Speaker 3 At the end of our turn. Yeah, at the end of your turn.

Speaker 88 But do they have to be within range of you?

Speaker 6 30 feet.

Speaker 88 Okay, I think they're all probably within 30 feet of you.

Speaker 10 It's also going to attack a little more.

Speaker 98 Oh, it's not holding on to Barney.

Speaker 92 That's too bad.

Speaker 98 Well, it's holding on to Chip still.

Speaker 36 I was like, holding surface.

Speaker 55 I could literally stop breathing.

Speaker 40 It's like when the teacher's like, all right, I need to volunteer for this.

Speaker 91 And you're just like looking down.

Speaker 21 No, no.

Speaker 103 Oh, wait, hold on. Your gosling would also have to make a saving throw against that.

Speaker 76 Oh, wait, it's immune to being frightened.

Speaker 45 The mom?

Speaker 64 No, the gooseling.

Speaker 29 I love this goozling so much.

Speaker 87 I do too.

Speaker 64 It's going to save us.

Speaker 92 Okay,

Speaker 92 I'm annoyed now.

Speaker 6 Don't kill it.

Speaker 86 The goozling goozling was immune.

Speaker 95 Barney escaped my grasp. You all feel murmurs within your mind, like just non-stop chattering, a cacophony of voices.
Everyone make an intelligent saving throw.

Speaker 49 9, 30, 20.

Speaker 6 7, 18.

Speaker 18 Everyone failed.

Speaker 39 Great. Very cool.

Speaker 7 The voices just overcome any ability for you to form your own coherent thoughts.

Speaker 10 You all take 83 points of psychic damage.

Speaker 108 If you are still alive, you are now insane.

Speaker 21 Insane to the brain!

Speaker 97 You can't take any actions, can't understand what other creatures say, can't read, and can only speak gibberish.

Speaker 88 You're still up.

Speaker 34 Would you say who's still up, Barney?

Speaker 47 Me!

Speaker 40 I'm still up.

Speaker 122 El Gunmati?

Speaker 10 The only gibberish you're able to string together is blurbble-gurble.

Speaker 29 Blurbal gurble,

Speaker 30 blurbble.

Speaker 29 Blurble gurble!

Speaker 54 Blurbble-gurble!

Speaker 81 I like the commitment to the bitch.

Speaker 19 It's the best.

Speaker 10 The same familiar voice bellows all around you.

Speaker 83 The monstrous maw opens wide, and like the snap of a finger, darkness swallows you whole.

Speaker 6 Well, thanks for listening, everybody.

Speaker 58 That's our way.

Speaker 51 That was fun.

Speaker 104 Are we waiting peace, Jim?

Speaker 27 Are we doing another episode?

Speaker 62 No, No, we will not see you next week.

Speaker 28 We're still recording.

Speaker 43 Well, guys, if you enjoyed that, make sure you follow us on Patreon.

Speaker 48 A shadow eclipses you from above.

Speaker 7 You see watery silhouettes of two people, one sitting and the other standing, but both are looking down at the four of you.

Speaker 6 A gentle voice calls out to you, It's time, my friends.

Speaker 6 Time to wake up.

Speaker 17 And with hardly any effort, you each feel yourselves gradually float to the surface and inhale what feels like your first breath.

Speaker 94 Your eyes are blurry, but you feel hands reach out to tenderly pull you out from the water onto a stone ledge.

Speaker 7 You try to look around, but everything still appears murky.

Speaker 77 Give yourselves time to adjust.

Speaker 120 There's no rush.

Speaker 7 You all feel your lungs slowly swell, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air.

Speaker 49 The murkiness slowly subsides from your ears and eyes, and you see two faces softly smiling at you.

Speaker 62 An elvish woman and a draconic man.

Speaker 10 They both seem familiar, like faces from a forgotten dream. The man stands and speaks.

Speaker 116 I realize you four must have a myriad of questions, but I find it's best to start with the basics.

Speaker 120 For one,

Speaker 120 no, you're not dead.

Speaker 47 Ah, good.

Speaker 116 In fact, you're probably the most alive you've ever been before.

Speaker 83 As the draconic man speaks, details start to dawn on you.

Speaker 6 His scales are a burnt orange.

Speaker 95 You're standing on a circular stone dais surrounded by water and runic archways arc over your head.

Speaker 12 Two,

Speaker 120 though you may not recognize even yourselves, for some reason, you all know each other.

Speaker 62 And sure enough, you look down to find your reflection in the pool, but an unfamiliar face stares back at you.

Speaker 18 And three,

Speaker 116 before I tell you where you are, I'd like my friend to tell you a tale.

Speaker 10 The draconic man takes his seat once more, and the eldish woman steps forward.

Speaker 94 She has dark features and black hair.

Speaker 85 She's wearing a navy cloak and matching double-breasted tunic, along with eggplant pants and leather boots.

Speaker 114 My name is Sadate Tempur. What? And this is my tale.
Long ago, when I was young, I met a boy named Huberus. I fell in love with his charm and zest for life.

Speaker 114 Before long, we were betrothed far too young and eloped as soon as we were of age. One night, I awakened to an empty bedside and went out into the night searching for hubris.

Speaker 114 I stumbled upon him, hunched over eating and drinking from someone's insides.

Speaker 1 A horrific visage.

Speaker 114 What was a zest for life was actually an insatiable hunger and thirst. But before I could react, he overtook me and drew my very life force from me.

Speaker 114 And that's when I fell into darkness for the first time. I awakened in murky waters and emerged in a strange place.

Speaker 114 A world beyond worlds, a space between realities, the connective tissue amongst all planes of existence, the in-uverse.

Speaker 114 It was founded by a society of special individuals whose souls are found in every reality.

Speaker 114 They may look different in each world, but they possess the same soul and serve as peacemakers in every realm. No one has ever been forced to awaken until they are ready.

Speaker 114 And for the safety of the realms, the location of the inn-uverse has been kept a secret for generations upon generations.

Speaker 114 But recently, one individual made a connection to the in-niverse without waking up. A man named Huberus.

Speaker 114 Though he has never been here before, for reasons I cannot explain, he is now able to travel amidst the known worlds, every realm connected to the in-uverse. His hunger started small.

Speaker 114 But for every creature he consumed, he grew larger. But it didn't stop with creatures.
He began devouring homes, towns, and and over time, even entire regions.

Speaker 114 When he dies, he just spawns in a new world and begins consuming it. If it continues to grow, he one day may be able to consume entire worlds.

Speaker 114 What was once a man has now grown into a colossal creature of consumption, huberous.

Speaker 56 The Draconic Man stands.

Speaker 120 And so we call upon thee,

Speaker 101 Blaine, son of Gibb. What? Barbara from the Men of Dunkel.

Speaker 101 Christopher of the Maris,

Speaker 101 and John of those who rise and sing.

Speaker 116 You four have been chosen by destiny to lead the charge, to gather our ranks from worlds beyond, to face head-on the imminent threat of Hubris

Speaker 120 and save the Inniverse.

Speaker 120 Do you accept this quest?

Speaker 36 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 36 Yes?

Speaker 40 No, you're John now.

Speaker 68 You're John. You're you.

Speaker 20 I said that in an American accent.

Speaker 122 I guess we'll have to find out in the next campaign of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 30 Hey, what?

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Speaker 124 Suffs! The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway. We demand to be home! Winner, best score!

Speaker 9 We demand to be seen!

Speaker 112 Winner, best book! We demand to be quality!

Speaker 124 It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Speaker 110 Suffs!

Speaker 124 Playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th. Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.