#643: Daddy Tom

There's some unhappy people in the wake, but

what are you gonna do?

As long as there's one night happy.

You stepped in it.

But my Superman's father was Marlon Brown, though.

Yeah.

Coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter.

Yeah.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm sitting here with my two good buddies, Walt Flanagan.

Hello, and BQ.

How are you stanking?

That's right.

He's not in the room.

You're going to call it.

It's mine.

Now it's mine.

So, BQ, you just came in and you said you're not doing anything for 4th of July.

You're just cooling out.

Because a couple of weeks ago, you were talking about maybe having a party.

I have been in, I've been enjoying life a lot more lately because I have been

taking everything off my plate.

It's all gone.

It's all gone.

Yeah, it's great.

Massive moves.

Massive moves.

And how has the ramifications

shaped out for that?

Have there been...

Yeah, there's some unhappy people in the wake, but

what are you going to do?

Well, as long as there's one guy who's happy,

as long as the most important guy is happy, who cares about the other person?

I didn't break any promises.

You know what what I'm saying?

I didn't let anybody down.

I just started saying no.

It's nice, isn't it?

I've been saying it for years, decades.

This is the way.

I wish you would pull me aside.

I've turned down things that I literally am like, if you had told me five years ago I was turning them down, I'd be like, no fucking way is my guy turning that down.

And I'm just like, nah, I don't want to do anything.

Wow.

It's awesome.

I can't fuck out.

I'm loving it.

This is a different BQ than a couple weeks ago when we went to the diner.

I'm very happy to see this.

You have a sparkle in your eye.

I do.

I do.

I go to work.

You got a good flesh tone, too.

I come home.

I read.

I play video games.

I enjoy my life.

It's been pretty great.

Awesome.

Wow.

Yeah, I can't believe I turned down acting roles and all sorts of things.

Appearances, places.

I've just been like, nah.

It's driving my reps nuts a little bit, you know, because they get paid when I get paid.

But I'm like, what do you want from it?

They don't want to hear no.

They don't want to hear no.

They do not want to hear it.

Especially when they're like, but look at everybody else.

Look at what everybody else is doing.

They're all out there doing it.

And I'm like, good, good, look.

Go let them do it.

I'm good.

Been enjoying that pool.

Been enjoying the pool a bunch.

Finally, floating around.

No rain.

Floating around in that thing, reading, reading, reading book.

Reread Finished Dark Tower.

I started reading Sandman again.

Really?

Comic book, yeah, yeah.

Just flipping through it.

How many issues will you get in before you're like, will you get all the way through to the end?

I'll probably get through to the end, but it'll take a little longer than normal.

I would have to power through it.

You can't finish Sandman?

You hear he's in persona non-grada, no gaming.

Yeah, but he wrote this 30 years ago.

What am I going to do?

What do you want from me?

I already own them.

It's not like he's getting more money from me.

Did he do something sexy?

Yeah, he did some gross stuff, apparently.

He's not a good guy.

He denies it.

Okay.

so I don't know where that leaves you but me yeah I don't know

same place five seconds ago yeah

yeah it's just in the mood for something a little otherworld how many times have you read the dark tower

the first three dark tower how many times have you read dark tower okay the first

terror in his eyes because all of a sudden the sound goes out and they're like what's the sound scary stuff man uh i i would say the first dark tower first three dark tower books,

there was a period where I was reading them like once a year until the new books came out.

So I probably read the whole series through like three or four times, but those first three or four books, I've, I mean,

double digits for sure.

Double digits.

I mean, I got the gunslinger when I was like 13 or 14, and I read it every year, so probably more.

Is that your favorite book?

It was at one time.

I don't know if if if it if I would say it is now.

And And they made movies, right?

They tried.

Didn't work.

I didn't know that.

It didn't work.

Yeah, it didn't work.

I actually re-watched the movie after I finished the last book because the the way the books are set up,

without spoiling it for anybody who's read it, the movie was technically a sequel to the books.

That's interesting.

Yeah, it's like and when having reread all the books, I went right into the movie.

The movies are done.

Like they misplayed everything.

But I was more forgiving and it was a little more interesting going straight from the end of the the book to the front of the series.

Okay, yeah, I'm ashamed to say that I was a Stephen King, well, one-time fan anyway.

Never read the series.

That's strange.

I tried to get you to read into it.

You were.

I was.

Super into it.

Over the years, I've tried to get you to read it, and you just, for some reason, it doesn't grab you.

And I have them all.

Yeah.

They're sitting right on my bookshelf.

And it's not.

That's what I should do this summer, actually.

It's technically horror, right?

It's more action.

It's more

western action, but

there is horror in it.

It crosses over at Salem's Lot directly.

I don't know if you remember Salem's Lot, Father Callahan, when he gets in the bus and leaves town.

He ends up in the last three Dark Tower books.

Oh, really?

Yeah, and he's a main character in those books.

He's fucking awesome.

And

there are crossovers with Hearts and Atlantis.

There are crossovers.

So there are horror and it.

Like, there's some it crossovers.

But and there's horror elements for sure.

For sure.

Yeah.

It's fucked up.

It's like weird horror sci-fi surgery.

I'm surprised that you have never, especially somebody who's into King so much.

much.

Yeah, I think at the time it might have been because I'm like, okay, this is ongoing.

I'll get them all.

Then I'll read them.

And then, yes, and then once I look at, you know,

the 10 dictionaries on my bookshelf.

It's fucking insane how fat these books are.

Like, the first one's like, all right, this is manageable.

And then after that, forget it.

Yeah, that gets insane.

But like, by the end, I was reading, so I was floating in my pool, and I was reading the last book, and it's like when shit starts going down.

And

I'm not ashamed to say it.

Like, I started tearing up a little bit because

these characters that I have been with since I was a little kid and what happens to them in the end and who lives, who dies, stuff like that.

And I'm tearing up, and Helen walks in.

And I'm like, oh, hey,

hey, how's it going?

What do we need?

What's going on?

It's hot out here, and I'm sweating.

So, you will read the physical copy, or are you reading digital?

I will, I will, I have both.

So, what I'll do is, if I'm in the pool, I'll read it on the iPad.

Okay.

And if I'm in the house or like pool side, I'll just have first editions or you have to.

I do.

So that go from from any kind of money, those first editions.

I think there's some first edition.

I mean, these are well-read books.

These aren't like pristine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

These are loved, very well-loved books.

So I don't know what, but they are all first editions.

Yeah.

Bernie Wrightson did a lot of the artwork for him.

It's just

a fucking cool dude.

Yeah.

One of the few artists I met very early on.

Oh, is this?

I was going to say, we could do a retell him Steve Dave segment if you

want to talk about you,

our very first retell him Steve Dave story.

Try to remember.

Talk about the years 1988.

Yeah.

Let me reach back.

Father and father every day.

Yeah.

I told somebody the other day, I was like, I didn't remember something, and I was like, you got to understand, man.

Like, as I get older, I got to push shit out.

Yeah.

I can't remember 57 years worth of stuff.

No fucking way.

It's too much.

I can't even remember like 10 years ago.

I'm starting to fucking.

But I do vaguely remember the Bernie Wrights, and it was me, you, and Kev, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

We were at kind of a small con, or it was a New York church con, right?

It was a New York church con, yeah.

Yeah, in the basement of a church in New York Comic-Con before they were,

but they became, you know, these monsters.

Yeah, I remember the church basement wine.

Four-day events, and

I don't want to tell your story you had.

I met Bernie Wright, so

well, the big joke was

of course I was gay for Bernie.

I don't understand

all right home was because Brian made a point to make sure you spell it it with a Y.

Okay.

Because I got my name, I got a poster, the Frankenstein poster that Bernie Wright had drawn.

And it was just a print, obviously.

And I went up and I stood in line, got it signed, and made sure that he knew it was Brian with a Y.

That was all it took.

After that, I'm sucking cocks.

Bernie, you know what a Y looks like.

Picture me laying down with my legs spread out wide.

Hands above my head.

Legs akimbo.

Yum, yum, yum, yum.

Why ask why, Bernie?

Why not, Bernie?

And it was, do you remember the print you got signed?

It was a Prometheus, right?

It was, yeah, it was his super highly detailed pen and ink Frankenstein pages

that he did for the Marvel graphic novel.

I remember that.

Yeah, they were like,

they were the etchings of a madman Yeah.

Because there was about a billion lines in these drawings.

Right, and the detail is insane.

It's, yeah, it's on another level.

It's, you could say it might be the, like, you either have to be

like

brain man-focused.

Okay, I just realized that I wasn't recording, so this might sound a little bit different from the file you were just listening to.

But yes,

just to show you the, you know, 15 fucking years in.

It's complicated.

It's two, three buttons.

It's, it's, no, it's four.

It's four.

And I just looked down and I'm like, why are these lights not?

Oh, shit, I didn't fucking press record.

Okay.

So now we're back.

We're back.

Okay.

We're bad.

And we're talking.

Hello?

Okay.

And we were talking about.

There's some kind of loose connection on this thing, I think.

Yeah, like it's it's fine, but the sound on my headphones goes out once in a while.

Let me hear those.

Yeah, go ahead.

Keep talking about Bernie.

Okay, so we're talking about Bernie and me being gay with Bernie and his

insane drawing.

Yeah.

With all the lines and everything.

And I remember it said, like, it will, like, I will be with you on your wedding night, right?

Is that what it said?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And of course, that became Brian, Bernie's wedding night.

Our wedding night.

It became, you know.

He was talking directly to Brian.

Yeah, so I guess that was one of the cons where muse wasn't there, so all of a sudden I was in the barrel.

Boy, did I get it?

What's your favorite Bernie Wrightson comic book work?

Oh, man.

He did.

Remember that really weird four-issue Punisher series where Punisher became an agent of hell?

He did Marvel Knights Punisher?

Was him?

That was the first Marvel Knights Punisher, yeah, where

he was an agent for hell.

Yeah, they gave him like ghost guns and he had that signal on his head and stuff like that.

That was Bernie.

I fucking read that when it came out, man, and I remember being like, this is the biggest pile of dog shit.

I don't remember the art at all.

He was the artist, but he didn't write it, though.

No, I know, but like, I never went back to it because I just remember always being like, what a missed take

on this character.

Which, do you remember how Garth Ennis retconned it?

Like, when he when he restarted it, he was literally like,

he threw someone off the Empire State Building or something like that.

And he just made a comment about how like the angels held me up here once uh just made like a throwaway comment about how like told him told him to off came back to earth and i'm like all right hey comic books man like i guess you could do that they give punisher some weird stories man that franken punisher the

where he turned black one time oh yeah that was a that was that was 70s right no that was 80s that was late 80s late 80s yeah that was late 80s and luke cage was a guest star and he went undercover in prison or something like that and he's like the only way anybody believe it's up I'm black.

And Marvel was like, go for it.

Well, Soulman was at the top of the box off his charts.

So Marvel is...

He took a lot of movie.

He took Tanning Pills to get the college as a black kid.

Love to see them try to make that movie tonight.

It would be awesome.

It would be amazing.

Yeah, it would be.

Well, they did the reverse with White Chicks, right?

That was...

White Chicks has...

Grown into this cult class.

People love it.

People do love it.

They're making a sequel and everything like that.

Oh, are they?

Yeah, Yeah.

Yeah.

I always thought they looked like aliens.

They look weird.

Yeah.

Like their eyes look weird and their faces just look like alieness.

I saw it in theaters.

I saw what she is in theaters.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, it'll be funny, I guess.

You know, you suspend this belief.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't think Soulmate would be made today.

It would be ballsy, though.

I think someone will do it.

Think so?

Yeah.

Not us, but someone will do it.

Yeah.

And he never caught shit for that, C.

Thomas Hill.

He.

it was so long ago.

I think people are like, we can't hold this kid responsible for

the movie that they made.

But yeah, he does.

I've heard him in interviews say, like, obviously I wouldn't take that role today.

Right.

I don't know.

It is weird, isn't it weird the way like time works?

Is that like in our lifetime, certain things are totally fine.

Oh, sure.

And then it turns out, not at all.

I think about things like this sometimes, and I think about, and I know that it's like, I don't think about the Roman Empire a lot.

Right.

Like they had that thing where people do, but I do think, like, what a weird period of history.

Because let's, let's, I know it lasted more than a thousand years, but let's just say a thousand years, right?

And if you were born in the middle of that, like, and you had 80 years in that middle of a thousand, like, you can't ever imagine the world being any other way because everything was the same 500 years before you were born.

Everything's going to be the same 500 years after you, but there was no change.

It was just like, this is the way the world is.

You know what I mean?

It was like

to live in our times where it's like, you can't even fucking keep up with the changes that are coming.

One day something's fine, the next day, it's like, like, for example, the word queer.

Queer.

You just call people queers as a pejorative.

Yeah.

I got called it all the time because of the name.

Yeah, man.

I was almost married to Bernie Wrightson, you know.

But then there was a long period where it's like, hey, don't say that.

Yeah.

And now they want to be called a queer.

Grace.

It's locked and loaded.

Yeah, I just like, I just, yeah, you're right.

You can't keep up with stuff.

Yeah.

But even like technology and it's just like nothing day to day.

It's crazy.

But hey, man,

fucking do.

Do you see yourself giving up at some point on technology, being like, it's like our parents gave up?

And you're like, I can't, I can't learn this or I can't.

take on this.

Do you see yourself ever getting to that point?

I don't see you, but I don't, but I don't think that's something that you can, I think it just happens to you.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know that it, that it's something that,

but I don't know.

I'm pretty current with that stuff now, and I'm almost 50, so maybe, but I think that.

But how much are we going to be doing?

I mean, aren't we headed to the future where you're just saying out loud, like, do this, and something happens?

Yeah, it looks like they are dumbing it down massively, where it's just vocal commands.

Yeah, so that's where I'll be in 2019.

And the vocal cans are vocal commands are smart because Sage has an Alexa.

And she's not like, you know, the clearest speaker ever, but Alexa always understands.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I was really surprised.

Like, sometimes she'll be like, play Katy Perry or play Taylor Swift or play one of these.

And to me, I can tell what she's saying, but to the average person, they might not be able to.

But Alexa always knows somehow.

It's good.

Unless it learned the first time.

Right.

And then it's sort of like, okay, this is what she's trying to get at.

Right.

Well, she's probably on some sort of vocal spectrum anyway, where it's like it learned across thousands of kids that talk like her.

Yeah, and I guess if it could learn, like, say, like a heavy accent or something.

Like, you're making fun of me?

Is that what you're doing?

I'm just saying.

Is that what I'm going to show you?

Alexa, play me a song.

Got a Sinatra in there.

You're ready for Superman?

I can't fucking wait.

I know someone who saw it.

Really?

Yeah.

Now, are you

a little surprised at how much they are letting out?

It seems every day there's a new two-minute scene.

Like, almost the whole movie feels like it's been a long time.

My friend told me some spoilers.

Yeah.

And they're good spoilers.

They have not let anything in.

They have not let things out.

There are things in there that haven't gotten out yet.

Have you seen some of the reaction?

I'm kind of

miffed.

Not miffed, but

I have to sympathize with...

people making this stuff today because

they're dealing with shit that like

people who made the previous Superman.

Richard Donner didn't have to deal with it.

No, it is absolutely like fatiguing.

The

millions and millions of people shitting on it before it's even released.

It's just staggering.

It's fucking staggering.

Why are they shitting on it?

They just are like, this is not my Superman.

Oh, he looks like a petulant 15-year-old acting like

a spoiled brat.

Like the complaints are endless.

And he made, he had a misstep the other day.

Gone?

Gun, and he said something like, I knew.

I need you.

Yeah, basically, you can see in his face, that's what he wants to say.

But he's tiptoeing and dancing around it.

And he says, I have to remember that all the criticism boils down to, like, why do I worry about what some 12-year-old in India says?

Right.

And the internet took that and fucking made him.

Now he's a racist.

Because it's an Indian.

Because he said India.

If it's a 12-year-old.

In Indiana.

Yeah, he would have he would have been fine.

But he said India for some reason.

I don't know why.

I'm sure he just meant distance from himself, not the country of India.

Hey, man.

But

he had to come out and apologize and say how much he loves the people of India and how important

Superman is to India.

And I'm like, is he really?

Come on.

Box offices.

But do you think the cultural

important character in their history, Superman?

That's a great question.

I don't know.

I would think not, but like,

but he is global.

Like, I think you know, I think

people in India would know who Superman is.

But would he, the way that Gunn was laying it on, like, how important Superman is to their

what are you talking about?

We don't care.

I thought he was laying on a little thick how important Superman was to the country of India

and how he wanted to make a Superman they could be proud of and fall in love with and uphold all India's

virtues

like what

he'll like as soon as that door closes he's like do you believe this fucking shit oh yeah

he's like motherfucker why not just say Indiana

yes I did I did say Indiana

Cut out.

Did you see the scene with the dog where Superman is talking to the Superman robots?

No.

I love it, but the internet hates it.

I didn't see it.

I'm telling my friends.

He refers to them as Superman robots.

That I asked specifically, I was like, does Keelix get name check in the movie?

And he said, no, they're not.

There's no Keelix.

You know, one of Superman's robots' names is Keelix, and he's been a consistent character since I think Byrne, right?

Like, wrote him for the first time, whatever.

And that was one of the questions I asked.

Did Gillix get a name check?

And he's like, nah, they're all just Superman robots and whatever.

Yeah, he just says, Superman robots.

He goes, what the heck?

He goes, why did you let crypto destroy the fortress of solitude?

And the robots are like, we feed the canine, but the canine knows that we're not human and we don't care.

We don't care about the dog.

We'll feed it and keep it alive for you.

But other than that,

what's wrong with that?

That's a fun scene.

It's fun, yeah.

Those are kryptonian robots.

They're not supposed to have feelings and shit like that.

And the whole time, while Superman is arguing with his own robots, crypto is like pulling on his leg, pulling on his cape, like the most unruly dog.

Which in

people don't like this?

People hated it.

People couldn't stand it.

And to me, it made me think of a different kind of aspect on that.

Could you imagine a dog?

With those kind of powers who was uncontrollable, who wouldn't listen to his owner, though?

It's fucking frightening.

Maybe there's a little bit of in that.

My buddy said that he steals the movie, The Dog.

He goes, everybody's going to love the dog.

He goes, even if they go in wanting to hate the dog, they like to talk.

Who goes in wanting to hate a dog?

There's fucking assholes on Anthony in Indiana.

But he says the dog's great.

He had complaints, which I'm just going to, you know, I'll let them lay down, but he said people are going to love it.

And he goes, the dog is awesome.

He said, Supergirl is fucking dope.

Wait a minute, Supergirl's in this?

She pops in for a little bit.

I'm really concerned there's too many heroes, though.

I really am.

I hope I'm wrong.

He says it.

This guy's got good taste.

He said, Guy Garner's fucking awesome.

The Supergirl poppin' is fucking awesome.

I don't know.

Are you worried, Dad, about that?

Too many superheroes in the first Superman movie?

No, I don't mind them that.

I'd rather this than another origin story.

Okay.

Like,

let's start fucking pretending that we all know these characters and not seeing him shot from the planet again and again and again.

So I don't mind it.

I don't mind.

Okay.

Bradley Cooper is Jor L.

You saw that?

No, I did not see that.

Bradley Cooper.

Yeah,

they leaked that the other day.

He's a little young, right, for a Jorrell?

Well, I think he's a hologram in the fortress.

Okay.

Yeah.

I see my Marl, my

50s now.

But my Superman's father was Marlon Brown.

Oh, yeah.

Coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter.

Yeah.

That's my Jorrell.

Jerelle knew how to fucking party.

Probably nobody's getting that joke who's listening.

What's that?

Last time going Paris.

What's that?

And then right after that is FF,

two of your

two franchises you have a lot of affection for.

I do.

I mean, Superman is my favorite.

How many Superman tats?

Just the one.

Just the one.

Maybe this new movie will make you get a new tat.

The fucking chat.

That's a little bit of a touch.

I got to to get it colored and touched.

Colored back up.

Yeah, I'm going to get it colored back up.

You know,

it's funny because I had an idea for a tattoo fucking, we're talking 25 years ago.

And then one day I saw a Muse and he had it where he had all the

Justice League symbols around them.

And I was like, I can't get it, man.

That's funny.

Are you worried about FF?

I've seen some stuff on that, too, that makes me less worried.

Where do you see these comments?

Like on YouTube?

Oh, no, comments?

comments are on youtube or on the or on x or whatever but the clips are are everywhere but even the surfer girl the gal surfer yeah comes down and delivers a monologue the voice was cool and i was like

that's pretty that's where she won me over too yeah i saw that clip i was like oh wow they pulled that off yeah i i too you see it and it can be done you know that like you can win over the fan base with quality Sure.

I still wish they had just used Norren Rad and had him on there and like, why not?

But I have have a friend who saw that movie, and I didn't get any details, but he says it's good.

How the fuck are your friends seeing all these movies where they're out?

They work on them here and there.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

And now we're so close to them that there's screenings on the Warner Brothers lot and stuff like that.

They're showing like.

Do the

people who have ends to

Hollywood Inns, do they still get what they're called screeners before they hit the movie so that the elite can get to watch the movies?

It's all digital now.

It's all digital now.

Like even

the screeners for

the Academy Awards and stuff like that,

here's an app, and here's the code.

And you just watch it on the screen.

What's the biggest screener you ever got?

Like, they were like, we want to get this in the hands of BQ.

What's the biggest screener?

Oh, God.

I only got one season of it.

I don't even remember why I got it once.

I think me and you watched Grease.

What the fuck did we watch at Mosier's house?

Greece?

What?

We watched like four musicals in a row at Mosier's house one time.

Wait, they remade Grease.

No, it's not Grease.

It wasn't Greece.

It wasn't Grease.

It was

like musicals for like,

I mean, we're going back to 2004.

This is what I'm talking about.

Those 20-year-old memories that you're talking about.

Oh, wait a minute.

Okay, go ahead.

So they weren't your screeners then.

Mosiers, yeah.

Oh, Moser.

All right.

We were house sitting for Moses.

But I got screeners once, and it was one season.

It was every movie, but I don't remember.

It was years ago.

It was pre-pandemic.

And how did you lose that privilege?

Because

you have to be

it's about the uh actors guild and the votes and stuff like that if you don't act enough i mean you guys know like you're in the guild but you don't pay due you know what i mean you don't pay we don't know

well that's what i'm saying like you think i've died twice

as far as they're concerned

this is my second death and i haven't i haven't corrected them yet that i'm dead and i'm still alive

yeah well yeah i don't know what checks i should be getting oh oh you so residuals you miss all those 30 cent checks and stuff like that yeah go get and talk to them

I do have to, but I never make the effort.

I'm always like, yeah, yeah, I got to do that.

Because they're such a pain in the ass to contact.

I've contacted them in the past.

It's like, it's a whole thing.

Those checks come every day.

Yeah.

$1.84.

$0.32.

Every,

that's not an exaggeration.

Five days a week I get a check from them.

Yeah, a lot of times it's like the postage is more than the check.

A lot.

It's $100.

Every once in a while I'll get a check for like $350 and I'll be like, fuck yeah, we're doing it.

Yeah, we don't really get, you know,

like all all those sag residuals.

I wonder how you died twice.

I mean, it's not like you have a common name.

I think it's somebody, somebody I pissed off.

That's SAG?

Yeah.

I do.

I know you're laughing.

Fran Drescher.

I'm not kidding around.

I believe it's done on purpose.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I believe some vindictive peon over there, when I was on the phone with him the first time, was like, you know,

deceased.

File closed.

But I am very excited about Superman.

Can't wait.

Yeah.

Fantastic Four not as much, though, it seems like.

Well, I am.

I'll go see Fantastic Four that weekend.

Superman's my guy.

You know what I mean?

That's a big, big deal for me.

When I went to see 28 Years Later, we got a trailer for Black Phone 2.

I never saw the first one.

I read this book.

I liked it.

I didn't see it.

Yeah, I liked it.

It's very weird and sort of 80-ish.

That's like an 80-page.

It looks like Dead Kids Start Calling'em.

Is that in the movie?

Yeah.

Oh, it is.

Oh, okay, good, great.

Yeah, so I'm hoping the second one is just as good.

Okay.

I don't want to spoil it for you.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

What do you think?

You're excited about Fantastic Four.

You're ready?

I'm more excited for Superman, I think.

Okay.

But I

will see both of them with no preconceived notions.

I'll try anyway.

I'm not going anywhere ready to hate it.

And that's what it feels like the Internet is.

They want to hate it.

Of course.

And I I don't know why.

I don't know why that is.

It just boggles my mind.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's like

try to at least try, attempt to have some fun.

Dude, it's a global army of keyboard warriors.

It's all it is.

Yeah.

So,

um, I have to, I don't like to usually disagree with the advertisers.

Okay.

But this is the end, the opening line to this week's Blue Show.

Guys, enter the room dick first.

Doesn't that depend on what room you enter?

I mean, I guess technically, don't we all enter every room dick first?

I think it happens every time you enter your room, unless you're going in walking backwards.

I mean, the older I get, it might be tits first.

For me, it would be stomach first, followed by the dick.

Yeah.

Blue chew isn't just a tablet.

It's a cheat code for your crotch.

Stronger, harder, longer, lasting.

Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk in a gym membership.

And then they have some conversation starters.

Last time I took a blue chew, my dick got sponsored by an energy drink company and refused to do missionary, saying

it was bad for the brand.

Extreme positions only.

Who?

Now we got to talk about that.

We've got to figure it out.

I carry my encyclopedia.

It makes you dig hard.

It doesn't give you stamina.

Yeah, it doesn't make you all of a sudden a gymnast.

You've got to be fucking pumping.

Well, maybe that's because they got sponsored by the Energy Drink.

Whose quote is that that said that?

This is somebody, I guess, the copywriter.

Is it some sort of

ad copywriter type person?

It's not an influencer.

I don't think so.

No.

Guys, this isn't just about performance.

This is about legacy or third legacy.

Give her group chat something to talk about.

You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up.

Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue chew.

Okay.

This is absurd.

The guys using Blue Chew

are of the age where their fucking wives and girlfriends are not in group chats talking about how they got dicked up last night.

Like, these are people in their 50s and shit.

But you can know.

You can use it when you're younger.

I read somewhere that ED is affecting people younger and younger all the time.

Oh, I don't doubt that.

Yeah, I read that.

Pornography is like a scourge, right?

Yeah, and it like desensitizes people.

harder to get a bone on, and all that kind of shit.

So Blue Chew's for everybody.

We've got a special deal for listeners.

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And a big thanks to Blue Chew for sponsoring this podcast.

Now, in the group chat,

if

the gal who's like, you know, know, bragging about what happened the night, the prior evening, and, you know,

getting all

the juicy details all coming out,

and, you know, really kind of putting it in

her friends' faces is like, well, what'd you do last night?

Because this is what I did.

Does she keep back, though, that it was all fueled by a fucking drug, though?

And that if not for that drug, her husband.

Yeah, we wouldn't be be in this group chat right now.

Or does she let it know?

Let it let me know because

there's no reason not to.

But does she say that he had to take the Super Soldier serum?

I think she would.

I think if those if gals of a certain age are chatting about their love life, it's probably with disappointment and

being like, well, Brad

last night, you know, he's ever since he started taking that stuff, like it's back on.

You should try and get your husband.

Like, you know, maybe they're trying to be supportive and be helpful.

I don't know if women are, and especially in their chats, are supportive and helpful.

Especially to guys.

Especially to other people.

Other women.

Oh, yeah.

I know fucking women are vicious on their husbands.

Holy fuck.

It gets crazy in those chats.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's rough, man.

I don't know.

And I don't feel comfortable about a woman talking to other people about your shortcomings.

To me, I think that's a sign of of uh

not a great not a great relationship

the foundation may be cracked yeah why are you not trying to make him like why are you not gonna bigging him up yeah like why are you why are you spending all your time writing down this fucking in your words fat loser like why

because it's been 30 plus years yeah yeah I was gonna ask you Walt like

this August it'll be five years for me oh really so my question to you since you've been married

at what point were you like, how do I get out of this?

You didn't sign a prenup?

I didn't sign a prenup.

No.

How come?

Smart man like you?

All that podcast money and

just letting everybody have half of it.

I did actually bring it up prior because, like, there were times when I was just like, what happens if, like, this is all bullshit and she's just going to like, next thing you know, I'm paying her for the rest of my life?

Like, I would get into those moments of fear, but then I'm like, I know her.

She's not going to pull anything like that.

Right.

But you know what?

I knew her then.

I don't know her five years from then, and I certainly don't know her 10 years from then.

Like, I'm going to reach a certain age where I couldn't even blame her if she's just like, nah.

Later.

Yeah, come on.

So.

Now it's like Gilbert and his wife, you know, like Gilbert all hobbling around and shit, his wife, like, shuffling everywhere.

Gilbert got afraid before he died.

Yeah, his wife was shuffling him up here and there.

What are you going to do?

I mean, the horses left the barn, bro.

You didn't get that prenup.

You're done.

You're at the whims of the horse.

Did she, though?

But you also have to look at her from her point of view.

She couldn't have thought, though, that you were not going to

grow older.

Did she think you were perpetually going to stay

middle-aged?

If only.

Like, she had to know that

like she's smart.

She knows that like nobody stays the same age for

a 20-year-old Brian, like a 50-year-old Brian Johnson is not going to be the same as a 70-year-old Brian Johnson.

I think that she, at the time, she's probably like, well, that's down the road.

I'll worry about that later.

Yeah, that's what the country does.

And then, you know, then

reality hits you like a fucking two by four.

Like a 70-year-old man.

Get a postnop.

You can do that.

I do that.

Sure, you could do that.

People do that all the time.

I don't know.

How's that work?

She would have to agree to it, too, right?

Well, yeah, yeah.

She'd have to sign it, but

I don't think it would work in Jersey, though.

I don't know if it would work in my house.

Oh, Jersey.

You don't think you could be like.

I think right now, I think she'd be like, why?

What are you worried about?

Like, after all this time, now I'm worried.

Well,

you could say.

You're going to have to cut this out if you want to go this route, but that, you know, Walt and I are a little concerned.

We want to make sure that the three of us always own this business, like it doesn't pass in anybody else's hands.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

And it's a business concern, so we just have to get this little doctor to sign here, honey.

And she's like, This is also, I don't take over, tell them, Steve Dave.

Just sign it, baby.

If you love me,

if you loved me like Bernie did,

you would sign it.

Yeah, I don't think she

has any delusions about me staying.

Because I'm constantly pointing it out.

I'm like, is this a new mark on my face?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Because, you know, sometimes you see guys with the liver spots and the age spots and that kind of shit.

So I'm constantly looking for that kind of stuff.

They can't laser those all the time.

You want to get rid of them if they pop up.

You'll want to get rid of them?

Yeah, I think so.

They're not liver spots on the shit.

They're not like scars, like cool scars, like almost like shark scars.

Let's say, like, Mary Beth and I were walking down the street and I got into a knife fight with someone and saved her.

I got a scar.

That's a cool scar.

The age-induced liver spot.

But that shows you that, like, you know,

you stood the test of time.

I'm living with life here.

That's true.

That's true.

I even got stabbed.

Look at me.

You want to hide all those glorious things that show how long that Brian Johnson has fucking stood the test of time?

All I'm doing is reminding everyone else how long I've stood the test of time.

Like, well, that's an old guy.

Like,

today, like, you know, kids 20, like, you know, even 30 years old, probably look at us and like, well, they're old.

Yeah.

But, like, you're really old when you're like, it's 70s.

I think 70 is when the rubber hits the road, right?

70, 75.

Yeah.

It seems that way.

That's where I noticed a decline in people I know who hit that age.

It was like mid-70s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Still okay, but like that's where I started seeing the, oh, yeah, yeah.

My back's hurting or this is hurting or that's hurting or yeah, whatever.

I mean, I don't feel great now.

You know what I mean?

Like my shoulder always hurts.

My wrist always hurts.

Is that arthritis?

That is because when I'm in the fire department, I had my thumb bent back almost all the way to here.

And it just tore the fuck out of everything in there.

And I had to get a surgery.

And I didn't get the surgery because

if I got the surgery, there was a chance that they were going to put me out from the fire department.

They were going to have to retire me.

And

retrospect, I should have done it because I would have been out with three quarters pay instead of just retiring early like an asshole.

But so I didn't get the surgery until after I had already.

So, when does it hurt when it rains, like that kind of thing?

It hurts almost all the time, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's it's it's a constant ache right there, but there are times where it's like when it like when it rains and stuff like that, it is like shit, this hurts.

But you know, shoulder that is arthritis over here, you can do, yeah, I got some aches and pains here and there.

Still in the knees, you know, like the knees are never quite what they once, your knees are right.

Your knees went through a tough, tough run, yeah.

And they say, I think, if I remember correctly, they're like, Yeah, you have to get a new

knee put in like every 20 years or so.

Oh, no, you got to do that again.

So I think I have to do it again at some point.

Just get a rascal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I could get into the office on a rascal.

I'm quickly trying to think of where I go

if they accept rascals.

Yeah, you don't want to go.

That's a fucking major operation to recuperate from again.

Oh, fuck yeah.

It sucked, dude.

That was the most pain I've ever been in in my life.

Like, right after that, like, I remember waking up from that and being like, somebody just fucking killed me.

It hurts so bad.

Fuck, man.

Yeah.

And it's not.

And even at that point, like, the painkillers don't do shit.

It's just too much.

It's too much for them.

Yeah.

It's just like it's just sitting there aching and like, or they're not giving you enough.

Oh, I don't like that.

Yeah.

But would the redo surgery be.

I think it might be a little easier because they don't have to cut through bones.

Yeah, right?

Like, there should be like less.

I think it's just screwed to the bone, so they would cut you open, unscrew it, pop a new one in.

On one hand, it's amazing.

Yeah,

they can do this, and it's pretty cool.

Do you think, and this is not to slight you or to this is not a problem?

So many of your statements start with that.

This is not a.

I'll take this the right way.

But when they say the normal person, the wear and tear, they need a new knee.

I already saw the insult

in the middle of this pill.

You put on the miles on that knee that you need a replacement.

This knee?

Well,

I'll tell you what, it's not necessarily the mileage as much as the carriage.

Oh, you know.

So, yeah, we just started a couple.

Me and some of the guys from the crew have started a weight loss program.

Who's the crew?

Tom's in on it.

Rupert's in on it.

They tried to get him in on it, but he didn't want to do it.

I think Victor's in on it.

You guys are trying to lose

weight as a competition?

It's a competition, but it's not like how much weight can you lose as quickly as you you can lose it.

It's more of like a sustainable longevity.

Yeah.

It's more something like.

Fat off.

Fat off a little bit.

So yeah, so so far I lost five and a half.

Yeah, right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I got to get there.

I have too much clothes

that don't fit me right now that I have to get back into.

I'm not going and buying a whole new wardrobe.

Just not doing it.

So how many pounds do you have to lose to fit in those clothes?

Like another 50.

No, no, okay.

50 pounds.

What were you buying?

Fucking extra small clothes?

Maybe.

Yeah, no, I was buying shit that fit me.

No, you did not.

I remember how I used to dress.

Yeah.

You had a lot more button-downs in your old repertoire.

Yeah, that's true.

That's what I'm trying to get into because that's the other thing about the five years.

We were talking about maybe taking a ride up to Maine again, like we did after we got married.

We were like, ah, fuck it, let's just take a ride.

And we went to Maine.

We were thinking about doing that again, perhaps.

So I'm desperately trying to get into some button-downs by that time.

Another month and a half or so.

What's a button-down?

I don't even know what that is.

Like what Q's wearing right now?

Like a white shirt.

Oh, you mean just a shirt with buttons?

Yeah.

And you don't have the ability to wear those yet?

No, because I got too fat.

So you don't want to buy new button shirts?

Mary Beth shirts.

Buttons are expensive ones.

And Mary Beth buys them, but she always buys them for like, because she likes the designs from like Sheen or Timu or whatever the fuck.

It's fucking garbage.

It's garbage.

And

I'll get a 2X and I'm like, this is a small.

I know I'm fat, but I'm not that fat.

You know, so

the shit that she gets me, it's like, I have to really diet down to get into it.

Okay.

Well, she's trying for you.

She's trying.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Do you ever think about going to a steam room?

And just sweating it out, getting all dehydrated, and then bringing it right into the fucking sauna.

What's with the towels anyway?

Like, don't they seem intrusive?

Steamroom?

No.

I mean, then I would just, what, sweat out water weight?

That doesn't work.

Or like one of those belt things that they used to wear.

Like I'm loosely jiggling all my fat all over the place.

I think the answer is to stop eating like shit like I do and to maybe exercise a little bit more.

Like maybe go walking.

What about that magic pill?

I don't remember where it starts with an O.

Oh,

yeah.

I've considered that.

Yeah.

Because it is.

Oh, yeah.

And I found out, too, Lizzo was lying.

Little, little, the real little bit of thy.

Oh, I'm just shocked Lizzo's still around.

Yeah, Lizzo's still alive, and she lost a bunch of weight.

I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to be like, oh, wow, she's thin.

But

she at first said that she had no help.

She just did it naturally.

It wasn't Ozempic.

But then it turned out, yeah, it was Ozempic.

And why do these people lie?

I don't know.

It's just like.

a little bit of stigma, I think.

I mean, so many people I know are on it, and

it works.

It fucking works.

How do you get it?

Is it hard to get?

No.

You go to the doctor.

Or actually, you can even get it online now.

They said there's a pill form coming.

Oh, yeah.

You don't even have to do the shot.

But

would a doctor prescribe it?

Yes.

No matter what?

Even if he's like, you don't need to lose weight.

Oh, well, why would you take it if you don't need to lose weight?

Because there's some people who are like,

you know, adamant that they're overweight and they're really not, though.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah,

I wonder how hard it is to get that prescription, though.

Yeah, because of the right doctor or the wrong doctor.

Because if they're like, you'll lose 10 pounds, you're not going to want to lose that big for that.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, a doctor shouldn't be giving out this pill.

He's like, no, get on a treadmill.

In a week, you'll be good.

Sure.

Don't get off the treadmill.

Just keep going.

No, if you're only going to lose like 10 pounds or five pounds, get on a treadmill.

You'll only lose like three pounds a week.

Let's not go the route of this drug right now.

That's what I would hope a doctor would say before then, or just immediately writing on a prescription for it, you know, because

you got a new role you want to fucking fit into your Spandex superhero costume when you get in this.

And you want to go Superman, dressed as Superman.

Yeah, I guess, but like, I don't know.

It's a weird thing because it would be better if they just change their lifestyle to lose those 10 pounds, right?

It's obviously the healthier thing.

But some people, like my buddy, buddy, I've, I mean, I don't want to name names, but he was like, he lost like 70 pounds on it.

And he looks, it's like did he need to lose 70?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Now, what happens if he gets off of it?

Well, I have another friend that lost 50 pounds, got off it, and he put it all right back on.

That's the problem.

That's the problem.

And is it too new, though?

Do we have an idea of the knock-on effects and the ramifications of this long-term, or is it still too new?

From what I understand, is because it's an existing drug that was for something else.

It was for diabetes or something.

Yeah, that it

all every, I don't know, look, I don't know.

So don't fucking

listen to me on this.

But, like, they, what I keep seeing is that the advantages keep coming up.

Like, they're, they're, it's, it actually regulates your mental health a little bit better.

Like, it's a weird, like, they keep finding all these benefits to it.

Yeah, so.

So it could be the wonder drug, huh?

Could be.

Does it put on muscle, too?

I don't know.

Or that's steroids, right?

I don't know.

I'm all natural, baby.

Oh, I wasn't able to get this body with that.

We're steroids.

I'm right in the middle.

Did you see that Liver King guy?

It was a couple weeks back, the Liver King, who like he espoused.

He was like, he looks like,

you know, the guy on the January 6th with the wolf head on him and shit.

Yeah, the shot.

Kind of reminds me of that guy.

But he's like, he looks like Conan.

The barbarian.

Conan, yes.

Yeah, not not Conan O'Brien.

Totally ripped, like shredded, like 1% body fat.

And he said he did it all due to this

raw liver diet that he was eating and raw meat and vegetables and all this other shit.

Then it turned out he got busted.

He was spending $10,000 a month on steroids.

Oh, my God.

$10,000 a month to be the liver king.

Shit, man.

But it's like, isn't it just like when you do shit like that?

It's like, it's just a matter of time before you get found out.

Or die, actually.

Or die from it, yeah.

i got a game all right all right uh i said remember i made the decree one game a month and then you had the great idea well not one new game

revisit an old game yes great idea and uh tom

stepped up and he came up with some

flanny's choice questions oh whoa it's been a while it hasn't been that long flanny's choice

it hasn't been that long we've kind of played it recently but i have some scenarios to see who you knows me better

so we only have nine so it'll be real quick i'm offered a walk-on roll for no compensation in the new american godzilla film but my character is a janitor who slips on kaiju poop

and dies screaming The scene goes viral forever, and for the rest of my life, people yell when they see me, hey, look, it's God Shitta.

Do I take the part or turn it down?

But you don't know that going into the part.

How much of this do you know?

Well, the studio is like,

we're going to really push this.

We want this to be Godzilla.

We called Sag, we got you alive again.

You know, we want you to be God Shitta.

I think that

while Walt has

certain interests that are like,

I'll go beyond interest, I'll say passions.

Yeah.

Godzilla being one of them.

So to be like, wow, I could have a walk-on roll, so not much is expected of me.

You know, I'm just going to be in the background or whatever.

I think he would say yes to that.

But being showcased, a featured extra,

a man of his stature.

Where is it filming?

It's filming.

In Jersey.

Over at the Netflix studio.

That is, that was, that information was not in the scenario.

Okay.

So, yeah, the studio says that they are actually going to use their social media

to try to push this scene and make it go viral, and it works, and I do become God Shitta.

Now, I've also heard stories about Walt going out with his family.

He doesn't want to be acknowledged as Walt Flanagan.

I think he fucked himself because I don't see him not being known as God Shitta from now on, no matter what.

Yeah, so I think him out with his family, his new grandson, and so he's like, hey, God Shita.

Got someone, you stepped in it.

I don't think you do it.

Yeah, I would say no, too.

Both say no.

I don't think the answer is yes.

All right, there's the answer to number one.

Number one, I have the card.

I decline the part.

We got it.

All right.

All right.

Now, you guys made good points, but the real reason was

there was two clues in that one.

I said it was the new American Godzilla.

Oh, okay.

And

for no compensation.

I caught both those things, but I still thought like...

So American is no good.

I think the American version of Godzilla is,

for me, it's a joke.

It's a cartoon.

They've kind of lost their way after the first one with Brian Cranston, which I adored.

They've really lost the

script there and have really

gone in a direction that

doesn't appeal to me.

And then you also say, you're not going to get paid for it.

Right.

And

I've been on sets before.

It's brutal.

At least I was like, well, at least I'm getting paid for this.

I'm not even going to get that.

And then

when I'm out in public, people are going to be yelling at me.

Is it Shitzilla or God Shita?

God shit up.

Shitzilla does roll up a tongue a little easier.

It could be either or.

You know, it's going to be both.

So, yeah, turn it down so you guys both got that right.

All right.

All right.

Let's put a little nerck down here.

All right.

Number two.

I got that one right, too.

Okay.

Come on now.

You're not playing for anybody.

Just for shits and giggles.

Just do it right.

I don't know if you guys have heard this news, but with the recent news that Marvel has pulled the plug on publishing any more Marvel Masterworks volumes.

Oof.

Yeah, I don't know if you've heard this, but my beloved, the only thing that brings me joy in comics anymore,

Marvel has said it's gone the way of the dodo bird.

They're not publishing them anymore.

I guess they're not

profitable.

Not even digitally?

They're just.

Who wants it digitally?

I mean, I can get them them illegally, digitally,

but you know,

I want them on my bookshelf.

Right.

I had all the volumes, and it was just something,

something that I could look at and be like,

that's fucking awesome.

I got them all, and I'm going to keep buying them.

But Marvel has said no.

But a mysterious benefactor contacts you and offers to fund all future volumes, thus ensuring the line continues.

But only if I agree to never speak to Sunday Jeff again, even on a podcast, do I take the deal?

I think it's a no.

My first instinct is no.

I mean, how do you turn your back on a friend of

decades to be like, some good comics are going to come out?

Yeah.

But those comics that I've all read before.

But those comics were there for me before Sunday Jeff was.

They gave me my companionship and my,

you know, the

they were there for me long before I ever knew a Sunday Jeff.

I don't think this podcast becomes what it became without Sunday Jeff.

You guys can still talk to him.

We can just sit there while we do it.

I'm not going to rip on him like you do.

You know what I mean?

People need that.

Yeah, I think that you said something key there, which is like you have them all, and then you would get all the rest.

But you have them all now.

So I think that's, I think that's.

I don't, but there are still many volumes that I was hoping to see come to fruition.

You know, like there's some that I was hanging, just waiting for the months to come out for the announcement, and now it's never going to come out.

And it is a massive

disappointment for me personally.

I wrote an email to Marvel.

Really?

To who?

There was an online on this Masterworks forum where you could contact some bigwigs at Marvel.

They were saying we should do this.

We should let our voices be heard.

And

sheepishly, or not sheepishly, what's the word?

Almost like, you know, I was like, I can't believe I'm going to do this.

But I dropped it.

I was on Comic Book Man and how much I adored the line and yada yada.

Yeah, I still haven't heard back crickets.

Marvel didn't receive it.

Well, why don't you give the email out to our audience right now and see if anybody wants to take up the cause?

I don't know it right off the bat.

I'm not prepared.

But I was thinking about maybe even doing like a burrow trending.

Remember how we made burrow trend after we fucked burrow with the

commercial we did?

And Burrow Rocks, we made a trend on Twitter.

But I was thinking maybe I rally the ants to do a Marvel Save the Masterworks hashtag.

That's right.

But I just think that Marvel's like, yeah, hashtags don't fucking pay the bills.

Are these hashtags going to

translate into sold volumes?

And I can't make that promise, though.

I know it's not.

Because they're going to be.

They're not cheap, right?

No, they retail between $75 and $100 a volume.

And

how many issues are in each volume?

10 to 12.

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

It's a lot of money.

It is.

But I funded it all by selling my comical collection.

I went and sold all the key issues and then used that money to buy the masterworks that were ungodly prices because they were out of print and I didn't buy them when they first came out.

So now I'm like, fucking fuck.

But

I could fix this problem right now.

Turning your back on Sunday.

I don't think you can do that.

No.

Yeah, you're not the type of guy to turn your back on a friend.

That's not you.

It's not like I'm turning my back on him.

I mean, it is literally you're turning your back on him so as to not talk to him.

But, like, I talk to him, maybe, between, I have a go-between.

Maybe I say, hey, get this message to Sunday Jeff for me.

I miss you.

Right.

But

I'm still not talking to you because we're all fine volume force coming out next week, bitch.

I'm writing this down while I'm doing it.

Bitch, you want me to say bitch at the end?

Nah.

No, you say no, Brian.

I'm going with no, too.

Like, if it were maybe a different, like, maybe a Jimmy?

You know, someone expendable.

Yeah.

Then I would say yes.

But Sunday Jeff has been there for thick and thin.

I just want to know who the mysterious benefactor is.

Okay.

I have the envelope here.

Number two.

I decline the deal.

All right.

Another round.

Yeah, can't abandon Sunday Jeff and just drop him like a bad fucking

bad habit.

Bad habit, yeah.

All right.

No.

Those are too easy, right?

This one, next one, gets a little bit more difficult to decipher or figure out.

A fan writes to TSD offering to donate 10 years worth of rent in a window storefront on the first floor of the airport plaza.

But only if my wife gets a tattoo of Gim's face on her lower back.

Do I pass on this offer or do I agree?

I mean, I'm just going to go ahead and say pass.

There's not not enough blue chew in the world to overcome that fucking issue.

The mere suggestion to your wife, which is like, look.

Ten years, a full decade.

Yeah, we can make money, dude.

You don't have to do that.

Get him face.

Got here, boog.

Get him face.

No, I would have to say no.

No, huh?

No.

You know, though, rent is a big expense.

Downstairs, especially.

You're talking probably the size we would need, probably $4,000 to $5,000 a month.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I'm okay if you want to do it.

I just don't think that you should do it.

I don't think so.

Yeah, I think the deal is going to be declined.

It's probably

50.

It's probably what's 50 times 10?

500?

It's a half a million dollars in free rent.

That's a lot of money.

I mean, I guess if you put it like that,

would you, I guess if the question becomes, would you take half a million dollars for your wife to get a tattoo and get them on a lower back?

That's a different question.

I still think the answer is no.

Is this benefactor around?

Because Harry Bett's about to get a tattoo.

Both say nay?

I'm going to say no.

There's no fucking possible way.

All right.

Number three, I pass on the deal.

We are knocking them out of the park today.

Yeah, why the fuck don't you guys as gals have to get a fucking tattoo and get them on your back?

Why am I going to be the one?

The only one that has to deal with that shit.

I was like, fuck that.

Why am I the only one that's got to pay the fucking horrific price?

Get him a tattoo.

Horrific price.

It's like a Bernie Wrightson's super detailed tattoo as well.

This is how you stank into him in a word balloon.

Not too good.

Not too good.

Pretty bad, actually.

Made a bad choice.

Wow, you guys are three for three.

A time traveler shows up and offers me a deal to erase my worst memory, but the side effect is I forget my wedding day.

Do I take the deal?

Oof.

I think, wow, that is a good one.

Because how much do you remember your wedding day anyway?

Do you want to hear about it?

I do.

I do.

It is hard to remember

large portions of it.

It is fragmented memories at best from 1994.

Super

stressful for my wife.

She's not one to want to be.

Center of attention.

Yeah.

And she's very nervous, very worried that something's going to go wrong.

In that kind of

being around that kind of person, that kind of then

you kind of get a little bit of that vibe too, or you start to worry, too, like, oh, what's going to go wrong?

And

I don't have,

I can't remember gigantic portions of the day, but I, but I'll tell you this, I don't think I've ever revealed this.

I didn't consummate the fucking marriage on the night we got married.

Just too tired?

She was just too zonked out.

She was like, she had like a headache.

She's had like a migraine because we had our house at that point.

After the wedding and the reception was over, we came to our house and we had a flight the next morning to Disney.

Uh, we had to be up early and get to the airport, and she just went to sleep.

She just was like, she put a rag on her head and went to sleep.

And I just went, and I too went to sleep, and we were just zonked.

Yeah.

Now, that doesn't mean though that the mouse still isn't getting my seed out of the fucking out of the sheets to this day on the honeymoon because I made up for that night.

Yeah, you know, yeah, Mickey paid a horrible price for all the uh Polynesian drocking,

Yeah, but yeah, that night, yeah, we didn't do anything that night.

I don't think I knew you went to Disney World for your honeymoon.

Yeah.

I would think that's the sort of thing you would make fun of other people for doing.

Oh, yeah, I would.

Yeah.

In the right mood, yeah.

Yeah,

go after him.

Yeah, I had never been to Disney World before that.

Right, right.

She had been as a kid, but I don't know how we came upon that, but we went to Florida, we went to Disney, and it was awesome.

We probably stayed two days too long.

Yeah.

How many days did you stay?

I think we were there for

like 10 days.

Yeah, I think it was 10 days.

That's too many days.

Back then, there were only like two parks, right?

I mean, there were times that like I went to the park and she just stayed in the room because it was too hot.

And I was doing things for like the fourth or fifth time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We were there for way too long.

I gotta be honest.

It sounds kind of awesome to me.

I love Disney.

It was fun.

I love it.

It sounds like a blast.

It was fun, fun, but

10 days is a long time.

And like you said, there wasn't as many parks back then.

But yeah, that was that's

and I remember people being there.

I remember the wedding day.

I remember the reception, of course, with the horrible fucking toast

with that Brian Johnson game.

You want to do a little retellum, Steve Dave?

You want to do the

remind Q of the toast?

Yeah, it was.

Well, I wasn't supposed to give it a bonus.

In all fairness.

In all fairness to me, I wasn't supposed to, Kevin was supposed to give the speech, and and then, you know, I would give, I was just supposed to be there.

But then it was like, do you want to say something?

So I was like, I should have said no.

Yeah.

I should have said no.

But then I said yes and brought up Walt and his wife meeting in Keensburg.

Which is kind of

had a bad rep back then as a town for where you could score illicit drugs on the

cheap.

Right.

Easy.

Yeah.

And I said, and I said, but it was true.

It was true.

Okay.

It was true.

Yeah.

And I said that it was.

I got a feeling that's not the problem.

I was not opening with that.

The problem was

saying that Debbie helped wean Walt off of methadone.

I don't know why I said that.

And I didn't even know what methadone was back then.

I had no, I just heard the word something's M Done.

And I remember like people's faces hitting the floor and looking over at me.

I didn't know what it meant.

I had no clue.

I looked at my wife's face, and her face is aghast.

Really?

I don't even know if she knew what it meant, but she knew it wasn't good.

Yeah, she knew her fears came true.

That's why she had the vibrate.

That's why I didn't get no pussy that night.

All comes back to me.

Oh, that is great.

Yeah, but she was very, very unhappy with that toast.

toast.

And I've heard about it for years.

But

my worst memory, though, erased.

But we don't know what your worst memory is.

Right.

I was racking my brain for it, too.

Because there's some, like, look, if like you were obviously like molested by your uncle or something, that's an easy, like, yeah, I'll take this.

You don't have to lay up.

But, like, if it's just like a normal life, bad shit happens.

Yeah, I was kind of thinking about what would the memory be, and I don't know, so I guess it would just be subconsciously it would be something that

this

time traveler would somehow know what it is without even me realizing what it was.

Yeah, I would say

no,

because

I mean, you guys remember Star Trek, of course, for Undiscovered Country, 20 favorite movies where Shatner, where this godlike creature officers take away their pain, and Shatner's like, I want my pain.

I need my pain.

I always thought that was a great line in a kind of crappy movie.

I actually kind of liked the movie.

I don't really found that movie.

It was fun.

And I do think that that shit is

formative.

I don't think you would want to give up your memories of your wedding day.

I've known you a long time now.

I know you had...

Some issues with your dad early on, but I don't think anything that you'd be like...

Wow, I know.

I never even...

It may be that, right?

Yeah, but I don't think you, but could be your relationship with your mom is so good as a result of it.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know that you'd want to, I think you pass.

I think I pass.

Yeah, I was going to say the same.

Pass.

Yeah, I think you're going to pass.

Because, like,

I mean, at least you've never brought up something that even hinted at like something so horrible that you would.

Because, I mean, your wedding day, all you have are like a couple pictures, probably, and some fragmented memories.

It's like, you know, methadone.

Yeah.

You don't want to lose that, do you?

Great moment.

All right.

Question four.

I decline the deal.

All right.

We're fucking knocking them out of the party.

I think it all boils down to

being lucky that I don't have one

super

horrific memory.

Yeah.

You know, I'm lucky to have to be able to say that.

I know there's a lot of people who can't say that.

Right.

But, yeah, I feel like I could honestly be like, I don't know what it would be.

What did I did?

The Marvel Masterworks stop printing?

I mean,

you know, I mean, I don't know what, I don't even know what memory would be eradicated from my memory bank.

Yeah, it's hard, man.

You get to a certain age and it's just all part of who you are.

And like, yeah, just get over these things.

That was a good one from Tom.

Yeah.

So I think we're still all tied.

Yeah.

Nobody has stepped out on their own.

All right.

My roof collapses.

But my neighbor has a brother who owns a roofing company, and he offers to fix it for free, but only if I agree to have a beer with him every day and an hour of bro time

for how long?

Just in perpetuity?

As long as he's my neighbor, I guess.

As long as he lives next door to me, I got to have a beer with him every day, and I got to spend an hour of bro time.

I don't know.

Seven hours a week.

Bro time.

No, no, an hour of bro time, I think, a week.

It's a beer every day and an hour of bro time a week.

Yeah.

So over the course of.

That's only 10 minutes a day, you know.

Oh, I see.

It's not

a roof.

What do you got?

You don't have like slate or anything like that on there.

It's got a regular old roof.

Regular roof.

Slate.

Some of us have slate roofs.

Not me and you.

Oh,

slate roofs, man.

That's how society did it for thousands of years.

It was a fucking bedrock.

It's slate.

I know, but do you fucking live next door to the rubbles?

I don't live near where they make my slate, Walter.

They make that somewhere else, like Indiana.

Yeah, there you go.

And then they bring it to me, or someone brings it to me.

So regular roof is around, what, 25 grand?

Oh, I think.

I bet you it's 25 to 10.

I think Tom paid 30.

Okay, so let's even say 50.

Yeah.

Okay, I believe that you you would pay 50 grand to not have to have a beer a day and spend 10 minutes talking to your neighbor.

So I'm going to say you.

No,

that kind of is a backhanded slight at me.

That you think I don't want to deal with my neighbors.

You don't want to deal with your neighbors.

You're saying that I am such a douchebag that I'm like, I can't fucking.

Who does he think he is?

I'm going to spend 10 minutes with him a day.

Wow, you are extrapolating a lot.

I just think I wouldn't want to do it.

Like a daily obligation to drink a beer.

I love my neighbors.

You love beer, too.

I know.

I don't want to go out once a day.

Then you look at that roof and you're like, free roof.

Yeah, well, it is slate.

No,

I don't think so.

I don't think any.

It sounds like such a, who is this madman that's demanding this of me?

That's my question: is like this guy, like, I'll be like, why do you want to hang out with me so bad?

Every day?

Yeah.

But come on, I'm irresistible.

Why is your brother doing it for free?

What's his fucking deal?

I also like what Walt does it also financially.

He does not like to be beholden to people.

I tried to pay for their lunch at Red Robin one time, him and his wife.

You would think I was trying to pay off their mortgages.

They wouldn't have it.

They really wouldn't have it.

Okay.

So I think, yeah, like something that big and then beholden to them for something that much.

Yeah, I don't know.

And

seemingly forever.

This is what fucking house insurance is for.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right, but

he always does.

I have been

what some would call God's gift to a neighbor.

Sure.

I have been of the utmost assistance to my neighbor when they needed me the most.

Sure.

Not when I was just

bothering them for like, hey, sure, it's hot out, right?

Let's talk for 15 minutes about nothing.

No, it's like, oh, your dog got out.

I'm on it.

Yeah, great.

I'll find you.

I'll find it.

I'm here.

I'm not going to give up until we find the dog.

And then I don't even need to talk to you after we find it for about a year.

That's great.

Right?

That's that's that's I'm saying God's gift to the neighborhood.

That's me.

I agree.

So that's why everybody wants to fucking hang out with you.

I don't even drink a beer with me.

The question is not whether I think do people want to hang out with a dog once.

I think people do want to hang out with you.

Okay.

I don't think you want to hang out with them.

Right.

And that's the important difference.

All right.

So you're saying nay, and you're both saying nay.

I'm going to turn down, turn down the free roof.

Yes, sir.

Question five.

Question five answer is,

holy shit.

Get out of here.

I become his bro.

I become his bro.

Why?

That's a fucking expensive endeavor.

And, like, can you imagine me saying to him, no?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, to his face, how horrible is that?

Like, how bad does that guy feel when I'm like, no, keep your free roof.

I don't want to hang out with you even for 10 minutes a day.

And then I got to live next to the game.

Then I got to live next to the guy.

And it's so awkward when I see him every day.

And I'm like, oh, hi, hi, James, or whatever the fuck your name is.

I can't remember.

Didn't want to dedicate part of your life to me, remember?

Yeah, it would be so awkward.

If he moves away, do you still have to do it on Zoom every day?

No, if he moves or I move, yeah, the deal is done.

I fulfilled my obligations.

Yeah, I think my wife would be

furious if I declined that.

I've been in that show for 20 years.

10 minutes a day.

I can't give 10 minutes a day to a guy who went out of his way to help me put a roof on my

blizzards,

every day no matter what.

Yeah, I walk over, I'm like, hey, man, let's fucking crack a beer.

What have you been up to today?

What if you got COVID?

What if I got COVID?

I opened up the window and we talked between two windows, like between the

space between the houses, you know?

Right.

Yeah.

Sure, wish I wasn't sick.

I could come over.

I'll be better tomorrow.

I'm shocked.

I'm blown away.

I believe you because I don't believe you would lie, but I wouldn't have to go.

Oh, yeah, I would definitely blown away.

I feel like it would be incredibly,

I couldn't say no because of how rude it would look if I was.

But I'd be like, why do you want?

That's weird.

Why do you want to spend that much time with me every single day?

He likes me.

Yeah, I mean, you like lots of people, but it's like, you don't want to spend time with me.

And he's lonely, too.

Oh, he is?

Yeah.

He doesn't have a wife.

Okay.

Oh, man.

That makes more sense.

Why don't you go over there anyway then?

Like, why do you need the roof?

I thought you were a super neighbor.

Yeah.

Check out the guy.

You can give him five minutes a day for free.

Well, I mean, look.

When he fucking ponies up the money to fucking put the paper in the new roof, then we'll talk.

Got it.

Until then, what has he done for me?

Fuck you, pay me.

So you both get no points on that?

That is shocking.

All right.

Netflix approaches the comic book men

to make a new docuseries, detailing the breakup of the show and catching up with the guys years later.

But the producers insist on making Mike the breakout star and minimizing my screen time.

Do I sign on?

Are you going to do that to God Shitna?

Are you going to fucking do that?

I'm going to say, what mental asylum is sponsoring this?

The same guy with the Marvel Masters.

Are you all getting paid the same?

Yes.

Less work, same pay.

You don't care about screen time.

Sounds like a dream, actually.

You know, and

I'm sure one day you and Mike are going to patch things up.

I'm sure you and that guy, you're going to shit on.

The graveyard.

I'm sure you guys are going to be sharing a beer one day.

Arm around each other, fucking kissing each other on the cheek.

I don't know, you know?

Fuck.

Wow, this is a tough one.

What do you think?

I think he wouldn't want to be involved to begin with.

Like, if we're like, hey, we're going to catch up with the comic book men and stuff.

Like, if Nichelle was involved, then probably.

I think that would be then he probably would be.

But let's assume that he agreed to.

I think he would.

I think he would because it means less work.

He doesn't really care about screen time.

If they want to make Mike a star, so be it, as long as he's getting paid.

I think of the content for this show.

Yeah.

It'll be on Enday.

I think he does it.

Yeah.

I think he does it, too.

I think he does it.

Six.

I signed on the dotted line.

All right.

All right.

We're back.

You guys called me, and then it was like,

I get to do

fucking way less work.

I get paid the same amount of money.

Yeah, go for it.

Go for it

with that fucking

show that

you're star maker.

Go ahead.

Hitch your wagon to that star.

I want to see it so bad.

I really do want to see it.

Wow, it's still tied.

All right.

I'm offered two lifetime season tickets to the devils, but the second seat has to be permanently given to one of my three work sons.

Do you know my work sons?

The three of them?

It's going to be Tom.

Yes.

It's going to be Rub.

Nope.

Ooh.

Well, Gidem.

Yes.

Tom, Gidem.

And Jimmy the Hair Guy.

Jimmy the Hair Guy?

Yeah, he played the role of we did a segment called My Three Sons.

Okay, okay.

And I'm kind of taking him under my wings.

Rubb's a married man with a kid.

He doesn't need any.

He doesn't need any.

Tom is married, but Tom has Tom has a lot of issues.

He's got to work out.

I'm trying to make him grow some nuts that he got cut off.

It's a long process.

We got to work at it.

I'm always like, you can do it.

You can say no to your wife.

But what hope?

You don't have to do everything she says.

She's like, what did he say?

Tom's driving right now, lowering the volume in the car.

What hope is there for Jimmy the hair guy?

What are you going to do with that for him?

I've tried to help him with his incredibly irresponsible spending and his health.

Tried to tell him that he's on the road to ruin with

totally ignoring his doctor's

advice on stopping the diabetes from advancing and

trying to help him out when I can without being too heavy-handed.

Okay.

Or I could become a pain in the ass.

But

how often do you talk to Jimmy the Hair guy?

I'd say it once every other day via text.

Via text.

What is the average exchange like?

I love that shit, bro.

He throws the word love around the block.

I don't know what

shit is.

That shit could be.

If you watch the show or a podcast that we did or whatever, a song that I mentioned, I love that shit too, bro.

He's super easy to talk to because it's always upbeat and like, I love this.

Right.

You know, it's

like, it's never like, hey, I got this problem.

What do I do?

It's never like where it's just too, you know, it's too heavy.

He's a charming.

Easy lifting with him.

Right, right.

Tom, he's a mess.

I didn't realize that.

I didn't, I didn't like it.

He has it put together.

Not the case.

Not the case at all.

Okay, so those are the three we're talking about.

Tom, Jimmy, Giddam.

Yeah.

Okay, what's the...

What was the?

Oh, so yeah, I have two lifetime season tickets to the devils.

I can only choose one of my work sons.

Which son do I choose?

Because two of them are going to be butthurt and think that

they are lesser.

I think Tom gets the nod.

Do you need any more time with Giddam?

Do you need a second more with that guy?

I don't think so.

And Jimmy, I've never heard him.

I know he loves everything, but I've never heard him really talk about the devils at all.

Fuck, I love the devils, bro.

Sure.

But.

But Tom's not a sports guy either.

Yes, he is.

Is he?

Yeah, he likes the Eagles.

That's right.

He's a bandwagon guy, right?

Yeah.

You know, you've pointed out that Tom's big issue is his wife.

You've said that.

You've publicly said that.

A couple times this year.

Yeah.

So that would get him.

I know, I know.

I know as well.

But that gets you some one-on-one, manly bonding time.

You know what I mean?

You're trying to build up that specific issue with a sports game.

Yeah, we don't need dames, don't need no broads around here.

Yeah, this is a boyzone.

Unless they say that, what did they call the devil dancers?

They're gone.

They're gone.

Yeah, what a shame.

Who are you going with, Briar?

What do you think?

I think Tom.

I think Tom.

My answer is Tom.

I'm going to mix it up, make this interesting.

I think it's Giddam.

I agree.

Yeah, I agree that he spends way, way, way too much time with him, but

he's always going to be there.

Like Tom, Tom is going to, they both live far away.

So, Tom is like Walt said, maybe he's not going to be able to get out.

His wife's going to give him some shit.

Jimmy, it would just be too annoying because he would love everything.

Well, let me ask a question then.

Go ahead.

If Tom can't make the game, you still go, but the seat's empty.

I'm not going to answer that.

Tom.

You think it's Tom, huh?

I do, because I think the distance actually adds a little bit.

A little buffer.

I know that he has gone several times to games with Get'em, too.

Like games that, like, like a game where it was freezing out, where they almost lost their tremors.

Yeah.

Yeah,

almost lost a classic.

Yeah, they went to Classic.

Yeah, I'm going to say Get Him.

It'll just make it interesting.

Here we go.

Okay.

Seven.

Tom.

It's Tom, huh?

Pulling in.

Yes.

And there's a reason.

Okay.

Because a season tickets to the Devils means that's 42 games or 44 games.

I think it's 42 games for home games.

Out of those 42 games, Tom's wife probably lets him go

five times.

And then I could, the other 30 sometimes, I could bring somebody else and I could bring Jimmy or Giddam.

Everybody's happy.

No one feels slighted.

His wife ain't letting him out of the house 40 fucking two nights

out of the year.

The only person I see doing that is Ming.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's not one of my work sons.

No, that definitely.

All right, so I'm down one.

You're down one?

Yeah, you're up.

That's what happens when I try to make it interesting.

That is, I guess, interesting.

Tom Brady.

It's the last two.

Tom Brady has agreed to come on TSD for episode 700.

The catch is he wants

me to call him daddy every time I speak to him.

Will Tom He wants you to or want you to stop calling him daddy?

No, he's an important distinction.

He wants me to refer to him as daddy every time I address him on the podcast.

Okay.

Just for one episode.

Yeah.

Will the goat be on episode 700?

I think, yeah.

I think, yeah, because it's almost like it's funny.

Yeah, it's even better that that's just so weird that that's his thing.

Yeah, that's his thing.

Because so many people would talk about it, too.

Yeah, and you're just like, but where's the fun in not doing it?

Like, what's the story?

I didn't call Tom Brady daddy every time.

Yeah,

at his insistence.

Yeah.

i think you do it i would do it yeah i think you do it but you know what he does to his son though he kisses him on the mouth well i didn't think it was just like you were his real son like i thought it was just like you know joking around like hey daddy you know like yeah and what if he goes in for the fucking kiss for you yeah you gotta do what you gotta do bro

that's a daddy episode 700

i mean he's he's on camera kissing and you know kissing his son on the lips and then all of a sudden if i'm calling him daddy then the lines are blurred and all of a sudden, we're making out.

I mean, it sounds like a great episode.

Tell him, Steve Dave, to me.

I can't wait.

Yes, yes.

Oh, yeah.

I think you do it.

Okay.

Hey,

Tom Brady is on episode 700.

All right.

Daddy's home, everybody.

Daddy's home.

So I best you could only tie, Brian.

Yeah.

Now, this next one,

this is where I'm a little worried about Tom.

This last scenario is really out of left field and really strange, but

I wake up in an alternate universe where TSD never existed.

I'm happily married to Ming

and running a candle shop worry-free.

I have one chance to come back to my reality, but to do it, we both have to kill the alternate reality versions of both our families to do it.

Oh, my God.

What do I do?

Wait.

So me and Ming have to kill who?

You don't have to an alternate.

You don't have a family.

You're married to Ming.

Well,

what is my wife and his wife?

What are they up to right now?

Oh, you have to track them down.

Track them down and kill them.

So just wives, because your children will be killed.

Yeah, they wouldn't exist.

But that's to get back to your wife, in a way.

Yeah.

So I'm killing the alternate version of her to get back to the version that I remember.

Only I remember.

Ming doesn't remember it.

I'm trying to convince him of it.

Oh, because Debbie's got to die, too.

Yeah.

Oh, you're not going to make that.

But you're happy.

Can I really be happy married to Ming Chen?

You said you were happy making.

Is anybody ever happy married to Ming Chen?

I know no evidence of it, but we know at least one person who isn't.

Oh, this is a good one.

It's really dark, and I'm like, what is going on in Tom's mind?

So you wake up in an alternate reality where there was never any Telim Steve Dave.

You're married to Ming.

And I remember my reality, but I'm the only one who does.

And I'm told that if we kill

these two people

in this timeline, we'll both be shot back to

our reality and everything go back to normal.

So you also have all the memories of that life, too.

So you have both branches in your head.

Yeah.

So you remember.

Yeah, then I need to fucking get that fucking got that time travel to remove my worst memory is being married to Ming.

You're fucking making them in a Polynesia.

shit that's rough wedding night

too tired boy

I got a headache

oh man

oh fuck

what would you do in this situation I'd hunt him down and kill him yeah I think I would what yeah I'd have to

I don't want to be married to Ming

but you're happy though it said oh Oh, yeah.

You got a prenup.

Everything's great.

Everything's great.

Don't even have to worry about the post-nup?

I don't know.

I don't think you could do it.

I don't think you could kill a version of Debbie.

I just don't think you could.

Could have maybe hired somebody else to do it.

Is she happy in this other life?

I don't know any of the details.

I have to write the tracker down, find out the details.

And she's super happy.

She's having a great life.

Yeah, no, yeah, that's rough, right?

It would be so weird, too.

He's just like, I got to kill you.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, you know what?

Thinking back, I don't think he would do it.

Yeah, like you go, you pull up to like Debbie's new house, a new husband, new family.

They're all happy.

Kill the front wall.

That's not good, though.

What if she's happier than with this new guy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, then I'd be like, then it's a lot easier all of a sudden.

No, because you love her.

You want her to be happy.

Her most happy.

But then I'm going to be.

She's way happier than I remember her being.

So are you.

You're making candles with Ming.

Like, you're doing great.

That shit is not fucking a happy existence.

You're the one who used the word happy.

No, Tom did.

Oh, okay.

Fair enough.

I don't think so.

I think when faced with the reality of killing a doppelganger of your wife, I don't think.

And like she doesn't know you, so she's scared.

Yeah,

really terrified.

You know, she's getting murdered by a stranger.

Right, yeah.

I don't think Ming would be able to kill anybody.

I think you're fucking.

candlesticks for you from now on.

Yeah.

Saying, I'm just going to be fucking

just

the only candlestick is Ming's candlestick for me.

Yeah.

Jumping over it.

Jumping on it.

Jumping on it.

Yeah.

It's tough.

I don't wish that on you.

But I don't think you're going to murder your way out of that situation.

You both agree.

I agree.

Yeah.

You don't seem like you got the killer instinct.

I can't wait to see what you're doing.

Living in this situation.

Fucking genius.

He wrote, I let Ming go first and then find a new hubby.

Yeah, all of a sudden, I'm fucking, I'm single, ready to mingle, and I'm out there getting out, getting my fucking knees bent back behind my ears.

I'll try all letting the 20-year-olds go at me, and I get to fucking pick a new husband.

Yeah.

The best possible answer.

It really is.

It's like your problem isn't that you were fucking in another universe gay.

It was a problem of...

It was me.

It's funny that you allow Debbie to get killed in this whole thing.

You do nothing to stop it.

Wait a minute, something just went out.

Just like.

Go ahead.

One, two, one, two.

Yeah, just let it happen.

I had to think about that one for a while.

I was like, how do I, how do I address this if this was reality?

It's like, if I let him do it first, once he does it, he blips out of existence.

Oh, he doesn't go to jail.

He doesn't go to jail.

He goes back to the reality he should be in.

And then I don't do anything.

I don't kill anybody.

And I just go out and I fucking.

Yeah, I just let every fucking hot

hard body fucking

have at me.

Why not?

Why the fuck not, right?

I live for fucking years with Ming.

Yeah.

I can go in every fucking candle con on the fucking planet.

I'm not leaving me alone

every fucking weekend of the year

this universe against all

Tell him, Steve Dave.