#639: The Hail Mary of Hail Marys

Speaker 3 You would be the goat of finding fucking discarded sexual toys on a beach.

Speaker 4 Thanks for saving me. Nothing sexual happened to me.

Speaker 6 Nothing at all.

Speaker 8 What were you doing with those fingers?

Speaker 10 What did they make you do?

Speaker 11 Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 13 Hello, and welcome to this week's unusual edition of Tell him Steve Dave. Not unusual because Q's not here.
That seems to be the usual now. But different kind of format, would you say, Walt?

Speaker 14 We've done this before.

Speaker 15 Have we? Yeah, I've done it a couple of times.

Speaker 13 All right. So not that unusual.

Speaker 17 It's like a clip show.

Speaker 8 A little clip show. Best of best of, yeah.

Speaker 13 People love best ofs, right?

Speaker 18 They were a staple when we were growing up.

Speaker 19 Every season, almost every show had a best of compilation of the season you just watched.

Speaker 22 Right, yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 13 And now when you re-watch those old shows and it's the best of, like, or the flashback episodes, you're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 13 Yeah, like, there would be an episode in the middle of the season where it's like, hey, let's flash back to how we met somebody and then it's just all clips.

Speaker 17 Well, it was also, I'm sure,

Speaker 16 a cost-saving

Speaker 15 move by the production.

Speaker 17 You could just reuse old clips.

Speaker 16 I mean,

Speaker 31 this didn't save us any money.

Speaker 19 I paid the curator.

Speaker 20 a fee to go through our Patreon library and compile a best of clips.

Speaker 13 All right. And if there's anybody that's going to do it correctly.

Speaker 14 You've got to think it's the curator.

Speaker 31 You have to think.

Speaker 19 I gave him carte blanche. These are his picks.

Speaker 13 All right. So if you disagree.

Speaker 18 Yeah, if you don't like these clips or you think he didn't do a good job, you know, let him know.

Speaker 19 I see him out and about on social media.

Speaker 8 So he's out there. He'll hear you.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 16 And you let him defend himself once in a while.

Speaker 35 Yeah, why the fuck should you have to do it? You're not the one who picked the clips.

Speaker 36 Fuck you, curator.

Speaker 22 Up first

Speaker 17 is an old ad that we pulled because we were terrified that we took the piss out of our own product and it would tank if we released this ad.

Speaker 20 It was for the four-color demons jerseys that we were released on merch table.

Speaker 16 God, it's got to be going on 10 years now.

Speaker 13 I remember when they were shimmery.

Speaker 20 They were shimmery.

Speaker 15 When I got them like in my hands, because I only saw a picture of them, and then when I got them in my hands, I was very taken aback by how, you know, I mean, Liberace wouldn't be caught dead in these things.

Speaker 32 I think it's one of the jokes, though, too, anyway, though.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 43 that's this clip.

Speaker 46 Without further ado, I present to you the only Telm Steve Dave merch ad that has ever been pulled from an episode.

Speaker 31 Well, four-color demon hockey jerseys back in stock, right?

Speaker 40 That's true.

Speaker 49 They are coming back into stock.

Speaker 46 If they are not in stock right now, you can at least order it, and there's a date when they will be shipping out.

Speaker 46 I don't know if they're doing the

Speaker 49 name thing in the back anymore.

Speaker 15 I don't know. I've got some

Speaker 15 not very clear, cohesive emails, but

Speaker 12 I don't know.

Speaker 13 Like all day long.

Speaker 5 It's fucking mean.

Speaker 54 I don't know.

Speaker 1 But they look good, though.

Speaker 55 Do you see them? They look great.

Speaker 56 They kind of remind me as if

Speaker 3 fucking they had a whole bunch of baron von flanigan capes and there are like too many of them and they just turned them into fucking four color demon jerseys they're so satiny and uh and they have like a luster to them well they were supposed to bro they were supposed to be like the lightweight for summer not knowing that they were going to come out in september i mean if i had known that they were they're going to be that fucking glorious and fucking like liberace looking i would have fucking said like these are made from fucking each one is made from a fiber from baron von flanigan's cape i mean i would have fucking built that up as something special if I had known they were this fucking fabulous.

Speaker 65 The finest silk from Oregon.

Speaker 66 I mean, these jerseys look.

Speaker 9 Boss, I got another one done.

Speaker 68 I mean, it's as if fucking Liberace and fucking

Speaker 69 and Rip Taylor and

Speaker 3 they made their own hockey team.

Speaker 13 Oh, man, you've got to make some hockey jerseys.

Speaker 62 I don't understand.

Speaker 71 We're now mocking at 14-year-old products.

Speaker 5 Those are glorious.

Speaker 9 Finery on ice.

Speaker 72 Was I talking about the right guy, Rip Taylor?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Rip Taylor.

Speaker 34 Rip Taylor, who was he?

Speaker 1 The confetti, the glitter, yeah.

Speaker 11 And the guy from Match Game, who is that guy?

Speaker 45 Nelson Riley?

Speaker 74 Charles Nelson Riley.

Speaker 62 Ooga.

Speaker 5 Play some hockey.

Speaker 64 Danelle, you boys bring your jerseys.

Speaker 55 Yeah, go to because I'll go to tellhamstevedave.com if you want one of those jerseys.

Speaker 63 Oh, in all seriousness, I placed a big order. I'm only kidding.

Speaker 2 These are fucking manly as hell.

Speaker 13 Perfect for busting-type pussies.

Speaker 78 Silky scooty.

Speaker 55 Yeah, believe me, you'll be busting and

Speaker 1 talking about busting nuts or puck nuts.

Speaker 79 That's where you bust a nut in that jersey.

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 2 In a girl.

Speaker 77 That's the only way we got.

Speaker 13 After doing gay stereotypes for five minutes, it's like, there's no use for fucking busting nuts in girls, right?

Speaker 35 Let's be clear on that.

Speaker 13 You bust your nut wherever you want.

Speaker 5 You buy a jersey.

Speaker 55 You know, you're right.

Speaker 63 Anywhere you want, anywhere you please. Yeah.

Speaker 76 You fucking bust your nut on the train tracks.

Speaker 7 Tell him stevedave.com.

Speaker 75 Order one now.

Speaker 19 So I'm not going to, I don't think every single clip needs an intro,

Speaker 29 but this one may, because this one is me telling you about a conversation I had with Frank about wanting to turn him into

Speaker 83 a woman and having my baby.

Speaker 21 And he was very upset by that.

Speaker 85 Frank and Five? Frank and Five. Well, Frank Five, not Frank and Five, but the actor who plays Frank and Five.

Speaker 69 I told him of my

Speaker 82 one of the one of the funniest text exchanges I've ever had in my life.

Speaker 47 I was crying.

Speaker 86 I remember this.

Speaker 58 Yeah, when I told him, like, hey, in episode two,

Speaker 58 we're going to do this movie.

Speaker 87 And I thought, again, I was going back to Coffin Joe.

Speaker 89 Right.

Speaker 86 There's a a movie that Coffin Joe did I thought it was dubbed but apparently I was wrong and I thought we were gonna get the dub version where he is looking to impregnate the the most beautiful woman oh yeah so he can have a son yes he's so he can have pass on to he wants to sire a son and I hope Brian doesn't know about this because I can't wait for you to find out I think he knows about it but so I said we're gonna get this movie it's awesome I said and I already got the wraparound footages the little setup the middle and the end sequences is where at the opening of the movie we're going to talk about Coffin Joe and how Coffin Joe is a friend of mine, the Baron.

Speaker 18 And then we're going to have I was going to have Victor play Coffin Joe.

Speaker 87 And Coffin Joe in the middle sequence was going to come in and knock and ring the doorbell of the castle.

Speaker 58 And he was going to be like, you know,

Speaker 47 I see you're still not married.

Speaker 15 You still don't have a son like I do.

Speaker 58 And he was going to put it in my face that I haven't sired a son.

Speaker 18 The Baron doesn't have a spawn yet.

Speaker 86 So I was like, I was going to so I proclaimed to Captain Death and frank and five i was like you know we're gonna we're gonna put out a call to all the most beautiful women in the in the world to the for the chance to become you know the the carrier of the barren seed sure and i was like get olvira on the phone get you know get all these names get angelie jolie and and then we're like we would cut to then we would cut to in the later segment that no one showed up yep and so i was like and i was real down about it and frank and five would be like baron master i have an idea and then we'd cut back to the movie and at the end of the sequence I told him

Speaker 18 he would sit like we would cut to like where I'm like

Speaker 5 Captain of Death Captain Oblivion Captain Oblivion comes into a nursery and

Speaker 31 he stops because it's the Frank and Five is sitting in a rocking chair holding a baby nursing a baby doll

Speaker 68 And I'm all over Frank and Five's shoulder as the Baron.

Speaker 58 And I'm going, I'm cooing to this baby doll.

Speaker 82 And you're like, what, happened?

Speaker 86 And he goes, Oh, I go, Well, since nobody answered they wanted for, you know, to be the mother of my child, I just did a little quick, you know, quick operation on Frank and Five, and you know, just changed a little of the

Speaker 31 plumbing downstairs and gave him some breasts.

Speaker 61 And now

Speaker 2 the Baron now has a son.

Speaker 14 I'll change him back.

Speaker 15 And, you know, as soon as soon as the baby's on solid food, you know,

Speaker 99 I'll change him back to a male.

Speaker 8 And he didn't go for it.

Speaker 60 And he he was horrified. Frank Five literally was like, I can't do that.

Speaker 60 I work at a college. And I was like, I thought he was fucking around.

Speaker 75 And I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 61 He goes, I can't do that. He goes,

Speaker 58 so the insinuation, the insinuation is that you fucked me and got me pregnant.

Speaker 99 And now I'm your,

Speaker 72 and now I carried your baby to term,

Speaker 86 and I'm now a woman.

Speaker 101 I can't do that.

Speaker 68 He goes, I go, bro, it's a fucking, you're an actor.

Speaker 75 It's like, yeah, it's not you. You're in makeup shit.

Speaker 3 I go, what are you talking about?

Speaker 47 He goes, I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Speaker 102 And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 45 Are you fucking fucking with me?

Speaker 61 He goes, no. He goes, that's, I got, I go, I don't have many lines.

Speaker 47 He goes, but that's what I can't do. He goes,

Speaker 18 I was just dying. And I eventually talked him into it.

Speaker 15 He's like, come on. He's like,

Speaker 18 I go, all right, I'll trust you. I go, I'm telling you, it'll be funny.

Speaker 42 Then we never followed up with it, though.

Speaker 75 We got to do it, though.

Speaker 13 I broke him. That's all that counts.

Speaker 103 I think now, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 We got to do it, right?

Speaker 42 I mean,

Speaker 87 in this world now, I mean, this is 20, what?

Speaker 65 2023?

Speaker 75 Yeah,

Speaker 75 2019.

Speaker 34 I mean, I think he'd be fucking elevated to the fucking dean of colleges if he fucking even thought of whip that he transitioned.

Speaker 62 I mean,

Speaker 78 parade for him.

Speaker 13 I mean, you can't support the cause any more than that.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but yeah, I just remember just that this.

Speaker 72 I wish I still had the text.

Speaker 47 I would give them to you.

Speaker 18 We could put on screen.

Speaker 19 And when I got a new phone, all those texts disappeared.

Speaker 18 I was like, I don't get rid of any texts, but but those texts are gone, though.

Speaker 106 Oh, that's so funny. He was so weirded out.

Speaker 13 I do remember him telling me this.

Speaker 55 Yeah, I did that.

Speaker 92 It was as if, like, I said, like, well, like, he really thought we were going to have to have sex to pull this off.

Speaker 72 I was like, I thought I would get those, you know, those fake

Speaker 107 boobs and everything.

Speaker 55 And I said, we'll paint them green.

Speaker 31 I said, it'll be, it'll be hysterical. I have it.

Speaker 61 It's going to be amazing.

Speaker 17 Yeah. He's like, I can't do it.

Speaker 21 I can't believe we're going to release this clip to the general listener base.

Speaker 13 This is not something they've heard before.

Speaker 31 This is scandalous.

Speaker 32 This was the reveal of my nickname from the Blue Juice Comics One True 3 Championship.

Speaker 12 I remember it well.

Speaker 20 Held in secrecy by all those who were in the room for years.

Speaker 15 We finally revealed it for Moolah on Patreon.

Speaker 42 During the Blue Juice Comics One True Three Invitational, I told a story from the 1977, 78 era about playing football with some older children, and they gave me a nickname while playing because I went out deep for a pass

Speaker 31 and I caught it, like a deep pass.

Speaker 47 And I caught the ball and they were impressed by that.

Speaker 32 But it wasn't that catch.

Speaker 58 You know, then they threw me another, like the guy was like, I remember the older kid, like, you know, when you huddle and you go, you go through the plays in the grass? Yeah.

Speaker 99 He said, okay, you, he didn't know my name.

Speaker 58 He goes, you go out and you go out to the post, and I don't know what a post was, but just go out to the right and cut and I'll throw you the ball.

Speaker 14 And he threw me the ball and I had to dive and catch it.

Speaker 31 And I caught it.

Speaker 58 And him and the older kids

Speaker 10 go

Speaker 14 said

Speaker 58 because they were calling me this name and I didn't know what it was before that because I had the album and it begins with F and and rhymes with maggot

Speaker 15 but I didn't know what that's what they were calling me and then they go that maggot has got it's got sticky fingers and the other kid goes yeah he's got maggot fingers and so then every time I went into a huddle the kid was like hey you maggot fingers you go this way and you know I didn't know I was like I'm maggot fingers for life bro I'm like I love it

Speaker 99 I like I was gonna get that on my jersey yeah so I remember going home and telling my mom that I played with the older boys and I really impressed them and I told him the name my poor mom had to be like What, what did you do?

Speaker 7 What were you doing with those fingers?

Speaker 75 What did they make you do to earn the name maggot fingers?

Speaker 10 Oh no,

Speaker 13 isn't that a fucking weird world we live in where, like, every single person listening to this knows exactly what you're talking about, but don't say the word.

Speaker 99 Yeah, I'm not saying it.

Speaker 38 Yeah, you have them already.

Speaker 59 Yeah, who was involved back then?

Speaker 90 So, limbo was number one, that was Ming. Lust was two, that was Gedam.

Speaker 88 Gluttony, three,

Speaker 62 also get him.

Speaker 1 At this point, our universe hasn't grown enough that we have nine separate lords of hell.

Speaker 90 Brian Q must play a Halloween-themed game of dyslexia and get every question correct. And this is one of the ones where you guys came at each other like the most.

Speaker 60 This first one, because you also use call a dyslexic as part of the cards that you bullet.

Speaker 5 You're adding dyslexic guy.

Speaker 45 Bruce did dyslexic?

Speaker 116 No, it was a real guy.

Speaker 117 His name was like a listener, yeah.

Speaker 104 And he was getting them right, too, because it's so ridiculous that it would actually translate.

Speaker 62 Yeah, bullet.

Speaker 21 I told the guy the answers.

Speaker 65 I was like, getting this.

Speaker 11 I was like, to make it work, I said, I'm just going to reveal the answers to you beforehand so you get them.

Speaker 43 So it really frustrates these guys.

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 119 That's hilarious.

Speaker 120 Because everyone was so shocked. It's like, how is he actually getting these?

Speaker 19 But when I thought it was Rob Bruce, it was because he was working on Comic Book Men.

Speaker 46 And I remember him telling me he was dyslexic.

Speaker 43 And I was like, shit, I wonder if I should use Rob Bruce.

Speaker 122 And I remember, I was like, and then a listener emailed in and said he wasn't.

Speaker 46 I was like, you know what?

Speaker 86 Rob Bruce is harder to work with than a stranger.

Speaker 5 He will fuck it up.

Speaker 60 Yeah, that's ain't funny.

Speaker 55 He will fuck it up, and

Speaker 46 he'll screw it up and reveal that he knew the answers.

Speaker 43 I trusted a stranger not to fuck that up more than Rob Bruce.

Speaker 115 That's so funny.

Speaker 58 Two things I ordered from Tom.

Speaker 86 I don't want to.

Speaker 124 Go ahead, reveal it.

Speaker 125 One of them's going to be Lawson's Face.

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 45 Lost and Space on VHS.

Speaker 107 That turned out to be pricey, right?

Speaker 115 First episode open.

Speaker 125 Second episode open.

Speaker 1 Third episode, seal.

Speaker 8 Fourth episode, seal.

Speaker 71 And it's like, this is awesome.

Speaker 65 Terrible.

Speaker 72 I saw that commercial on TV, and I had to convince my wife, I'm married at the time, to call the number.

Speaker 79 And she's like, how much is it? It's $30

Speaker 61 a month. Yeah, that's when VHS was expensive.

Speaker 47 So she's like, we we can't afford $30 a month.

Speaker 107 And we really,

Speaker 72 you know, realistically, she was probably telling the truth.

Speaker 96 I mean, I'm not making good money back then.

Speaker 91 I'm not, you know, I'm working crazy little hours.

Speaker 31 And so I convinced her, again,

Speaker 28 tantrums, holding my breath, and then being like, look, you give me $5 a day for lunch, I said.

Speaker 108 I'll starve to death.

Speaker 119 I will cut down on my consumption of lunch over the course of the month, and I'll get it to at least 20 to 25.

Speaker 21 So, all you got to give me is 10 or 5 more.

Speaker 38 That's nothing.

Speaker 14 I finally wore her down.

Speaker 61 And she goes, You better watch them. You better watch these.

Speaker 72 And when they started piling up unwatched,

Speaker 111 I was like, Just call and cancel it.

Speaker 5 Just call and cancel it. Oh, no, but I did.

Speaker 75 Why don't you let me do this?

Speaker 66 Stupid, stupid robot.

Speaker 119 Oh, dear.

Speaker 75 Jon Flanagan.

Speaker 87 The other thing I bit the bullet on, and I regret it so badly.

Speaker 79 Again, I had to ask my wife to do it, was

Speaker 46 the $6 million man on DVD box set.

Speaker 3 I have that too, though.

Speaker 125 Do you remember that?

Speaker 128 It will never be sold in stores.

Speaker 75 Those

Speaker 75 lie.

Speaker 112 It was in stores in less than a a year.

Speaker 101 For half the price I paid for it.

Speaker 60 Not in that nice box, though.

Speaker 22 The lit ticklier box, I didn't need it.

Speaker 1 I rarely even open it. When I open it now, the tin tunnel

Speaker 129 doesn't work.

Speaker 38 The sound chip broke or the batteries wore out.

Speaker 31 You know how much you can get the $6 million man seasons now on DVD?

Speaker 72 Cheap. Yeah, like $5.

Speaker 56 $5.

Speaker 68 I paid upwards of $300 for that block.

Speaker 75 God damn.

Speaker 23 Is it on Blu-ray now, or is it on Blu-ray now or only on that?

Speaker 130 Blu-ray is missing all the features, though, that that box set has.

Speaker 107 Oh, really? It's missing a lot of stuff.

Speaker 75 I don't even know if they released it on Blu-ray.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it is. It is on Blu-ray.

Speaker 42 I don't have a Blu-ray player.

Speaker 96 I guess I do have a Blu-ray player, but I would not upgrade.

Speaker 5 I haven't even watched the episode.

Speaker 75 They're still sealed in plastic.

Speaker 35 Jesus.

Speaker 17 He's better off watching it through that Viewmaster.

Speaker 115 So

Speaker 32 Tales Mountain of the Fake Counter and Brian Nichelle.

Speaker 30 Brian Nichelle was the director.

Speaker 60 What's it called?

Speaker 92 Showrunner?

Speaker 8 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 18 And how's that different from a director?

Speaker 16 It's not, is it?

Speaker 13 It doesn't seem like it is. No, it seems like they're kind of one and the same.

Speaker 131 And he was the showrunner on Comic Book Men for seven seasons.

Speaker 19 And on the Patreon, we decided to

Speaker 32 do a behind-the-scenes look at every single episode of Comic Book Men.

Speaker 19 And we asked Brian Nischell to be the host because who better than him to give his point of view on how he saw things as opposed to our point of view, you know, from a different perspective where Nichelle could come from.

Speaker 132 And initially, the Tales from Behind the Fake Counter starred all the comic book men and Brian Nichelle, but much like Chuck from Happy Days, Mike disappeared.

Speaker 12 Never to be heard from again.

Speaker 8 Never to be heard from again.

Speaker 14 You don't know who Chuck from Happy Days was.

Speaker 5 That means you're too young or you don't have Google.

Speaker 13 Yeah, you're going senile and you lost your memory.

Speaker 133 But what we're doing here, my friends, is we are going to peel back the layers of reality show funk and reveal all of the filthy, disgusting, and tawdry little secrets that went into making Comic Book Men the most successful late-night, basic cable television show that ever followed repeats of premiere episodes of The Walking Dead.

Speaker 135 That is our mission and our stated goal, and we will do that for sure.

Speaker 29 Up next is a clip from one of the standout series on Patreon, Tales from Behind the Fake Counter.

Speaker 44 Sure.

Speaker 13 Number one show.

Speaker 18 It's either that or the All New Sunday Jeff show.

Speaker 15 I don't know.

Speaker 35 People do like All New Sunday Jeff show.

Speaker 16 And they like, it's all about Frank, oddly enough, too.

Speaker 18 But not because it's Frank, but because of the format.

Speaker 6 The format's strange, yeah.

Speaker 15 But

Speaker 32 Brian Ischelle is

Speaker 19 and has become a podcasting superstar.

Speaker 29 And here's some clips from Tales from Behind the Fake Counter.

Speaker 19 And again, Brian just like just delivers a great line where I say that, you know, you get this magic flute, and if you play the right tune, this magical dragon will come and protect you

Speaker 35 from witchy food.

Speaker 138 And Brian goes, It's kind of like prison.

Speaker 1 If you play the right magic flute, you might get some protection. Right.

Speaker 34 Right, from witchy boo.

Speaker 74 Yeah, if you know what he's

Speaker 28 talking about.

Speaker 99 Great line.

Speaker 32 And people are going to be like, there's no way they didn't plan that. There's no way that happened organically.

Speaker 98 And we're here to tell you, it's all organic, man.

Speaker 29 That's the genius. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Brian Johnson. That is.
That is

Speaker 141 everyone, though.

Speaker 13 I mean, nobody was told what to say, really, except like, here's the situation that you got to do.

Speaker 58 Yeah, but we need what they would refer to as the button.

Speaker 83 And nobody could button it.

Speaker 49 Nobody, none of the four of us can button it.

Speaker 143 Only you can button it.

Speaker 41 And, you know, that's why you were, no matter how many drugs you did.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 34 You like, drag him in here when you don't button it.

Speaker 64 And most of the time.

Speaker 13 He's gay in prison.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 35 All right, get him out of here.

Speaker 65 All right, fine.

Speaker 1 So please get a PA to go to Elizabeth and get this guy some more

Speaker 5 button juice.

Speaker 46 But I mean, in all seriousness, though, man, what a great way to end that little banter, though.

Speaker 144 Perfect.

Speaker 134 I mean, you couldn't, again, you couldn't script it.

Speaker 120 Nope.

Speaker 79 And it just comes from. Well, you could, but it would not be as good as that, though.

Speaker 134 It would take a while. You'd need a writer's room with a bunch of people putting up note cards and site balls.

Speaker 17 Yeah, a lot of high-power, high-paid writers about to come up with that.

Speaker 134 Ivy League graduates.

Speaker 79 AMC got it on the cheap.

Speaker 5 Oh, they sure did, boy.

Speaker 145 I went to Harvard for four years

Speaker 35 to write prison rape jokes.

Speaker 134 This is the right joke for the right situation, bro.

Speaker 35 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 64 What this calls for here is a prison rape joke.

Speaker 19 Watching those episodes, immediately I ran to get the razor and shave my sideburns off because I could not stand the way it looks.

Speaker 120 So glad you didn't watch those episodes.

Speaker 79 Oh my God. I was just, I was like, I was just like traumatized.

Speaker 61 I'm like, oh my God, my hair is a fucking mess because you were like, you can't get a haircut.

Speaker 72 No matter what happens,

Speaker 19 we started shooting, no haircuts from now until we wrap.

Speaker 31 So I couldn't get a haircut.

Speaker 29 And it is just a fucking horror show.

Speaker 13 Dude, fuck your sideburns. I have matronly bosoms.

Speaker 5 I look so fucked up from my hair to my tits to my clothes.

Speaker 103 I am so

Speaker 13 like I'm falling apart and sad and just like pathetic. And I just sit there and I'm like, everyone's fucking stupid except me.

Speaker 24 Maybe that's why it works.

Speaker 146 Your hair, you had this weird like King Tut thing going on.

Speaker 50 Yeah, you had the mushroom going out. It was like a mushroom.
Really weird. Like what?

Speaker 75 Boy King.

Speaker 7 But in this first

Speaker 5 episode, yeah.

Speaker 13 Or maybe it's a second episode. Yeah, I have a point later on about that hair.

Speaker 31 Yeah, but my hair, like, I should have gotten a haircut.

Speaker 18 I don't know why I didn't get a haircut before we started shooting, but boy, that was the biggest regret was watching

Speaker 50 this season, season one, and being like, oh my God, why the fuck didn't I get a haircut?

Speaker 72 So much so that when we got to that podcast set, Kim was looked at me and was like, you need to wear a hat.

Speaker 132 And I was like, well, okay.

Speaker 142 But I didn't, obviously he saw the sideburns and the fucking terrible hairdo I had.

Speaker 10 And he put me in a mustard movies hoodie, which I would never have won.

Speaker 7 That's not my color, man.

Speaker 79 Mustard is not my color.

Speaker 61 And I didn't have a hat. So I was like, I I need a hat, man.

Speaker 15 I need a hat. And what happened?

Speaker 94 I remember you came to my office and I had this pretty cool-looking devil

Speaker 120 in my office that I got.

Speaker 94 And I think we went to a game and I got at the devil store. And I was like, this is a great hat.
But you came in and was like, hey, can I borrow that hat? And I'm like, for the show, yeah, anything.

Speaker 15 I wish I knew what had happened in that hat, man.

Speaker 16 You know how much I could have fetched for that hat on eBay?

Speaker 26 Fetch a lot.

Speaker 74 You lost the hat?

Speaker 94 Yeah, I lost the hat. Never getting that hat back.

Speaker 75 No.

Speaker 107 That's all right. That's all right.

Speaker 133 Any

Speaker 133 behind the scenes stories from the the

Speaker 41 we cannot gloss over what may be the most devastating

Speaker 139 fucking daisy cutter of a joke that is dropped in that closing segment when Mike goes to, he's like talking about, he's talking trash to us and he goes, you're in my playground now, bitches.

Speaker 139 And Bry, and I know people watching will be like, there's no way he didn't know that that line was coming. There's no way that he could be that quick and that fast

Speaker 92 to bust out.

Speaker 13 I didn't think Ming was allowed within a thousand feet of any playground.

Speaker 19 Fucking sex offender joke.

Speaker 139 Like Bruce Lee on his best day, as fast as his hands were, are not as fast as that man's wit to fucking bust that out. And it is like...

Speaker 139 It is the knockout blow of fucking of comebacks.

Speaker 11 And the faces

Speaker 131 that you cut to, it looks like they had lemons in their faces.

Speaker 33 On that,

Speaker 33 that

Speaker 80 unbelievable.

Speaker 149 Yeah. Like,

Speaker 139 there's no coming back from that. There's no thing you can say back to, you're a sex offender, you're not allowed around children.

Speaker 35 No.

Speaker 150 I mean, this is a heavyweight champ.

Speaker 144 Right.

Speaker 1 I mean, put the belt on and just strut around because you won and you're the beat and end all and you're the all-time champ.

Speaker 142 Float like a butterfly, sting like a baby, whatever the fuck it is.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's Tyson.

Speaker 50 Michael Sphink

Speaker 137 over in 16 seconds. Eddie.

Speaker 50 You're not coming back.

Speaker 129 I know there's people who are like, there's no way on earth he thought of that that quick.

Speaker 13 No, I was there.

Speaker 35 Oh, no, he did.

Speaker 35 Oh, my God.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 139 How does that get through?

Speaker 15 Because 99 out of 100 times, they kill that joke, right?

Speaker 139 Yeah.

Speaker 79 This is just one of those times where somebody's asleep at AMC and is like, yeah, we'll let that go through, right?

Speaker 144 It has to be. I don't know if they're asleep.

Speaker 149 I heard often, I heard back, well, you're on, you know, after 11 or whatever it was.

Speaker 134 So, you know, we had different rules.

Speaker 19 Those rules don't apply to fucking calling one of the cast members a sex offender.

Speaker 51 Saying that the first time or the last.

Speaker 13 It's also not just saying, like, hey, you're a sex offender. It's like, you've been convicted of it.

Speaker 5 That's why you're not allowed to do it.

Speaker 139 I know you know this is a joke, but it's one of those jokes that I would say 99 out of 100 times are like, yeah, that's that's going too, that's too harsh.

Speaker 137 Maybe now, but it was part of Ming's character.

Speaker 76 You're a sex offender, man.

Speaker 66 i mean to be called a pedophile you know what i mean a deviant sexual animal but not in no not in that way though like it was devastating though it was too

Speaker 150 i i i just couldn't believe it i rewound it four times yeah no they were watching there's a whole department

Speaker 154 dedicated to making sure we didn't cross some imaginary line And apparently that wasn't the line. It was funny.

Speaker 26 It was funny. It was funny.

Speaker 35 It was funny.

Speaker 139 I'm just like, I don't believe, I don't believe even back then you could put that against the up against the people who are making the final decisions on the cut. I think 99 of 100 times

Speaker 139 it gets killed.

Speaker 15 And one time out of 100, it gets true. And that was the one time, man.

Speaker 142 That is a fucked up joke to say.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 155 He was the one who was doing the final cutting. So I think.

Speaker 64 I'm telling you right now. He's the one.

Speaker 66 He's one of those guys that said that.

Speaker 139 Like later on, like during, like, a couple days later, we're like, dude, do me a favor.

Speaker 17 Make sure that joke doesn't see the line of day.

Speaker 34 I don't want that joke getting out there.

Speaker 26 That's too fucked up.

Speaker 34 No, but you know what?

Speaker 154 I don't know if that's the case here.

Speaker 64 We would have often put in several fucked up jokes, knowing that they would pull a couple out.

Speaker 139 I'm shocked that you're not more like astonished that that joke got through.

Speaker 37 It's fucked up, Joe.

Speaker 135 No, I mean, but it's not the first time we were allowed to infer or flat out call Ming a pedophile.

Speaker 37 You know, many times.

Speaker 6 No, I don't remember this.

Speaker 80 I don't remember that either. I don't remember this.

Speaker 40 You wrote in every writing history. I would have done it a lot more.

Speaker 17 We would make sure we would

Speaker 56 say he was maybe a little bit.

Speaker 149 But never.

Speaker 144 You implied there was a hot salt in the basement with Mike.

Speaker 70 Right, but he's an adult.

Speaker 66 He's not a child.

Speaker 26 It's consensual.

Speaker 137 This is a fucked up child.

Speaker 134 No, no, no.

Speaker 133 There was another one.

Speaker 146 Here's another one where

Speaker 119 he went back

Speaker 133 and he was masturbating on a park bench.

Speaker 137 He went back

Speaker 5 to the future, and he's masturbating on a park bench.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 64 Yeah, there's precedent.

Speaker 78 Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 19 But I just could not believe it.

Speaker 122 You come up and you set up the scenario, like, we got this last frame, and we're going to make it for all the marbles.

Speaker 29 And

Speaker 49 you say to Mike, you know,

Speaker 13 throw it.

Speaker 42 And Mike is not happy.

Speaker 60 No, he's not.

Speaker 5 I remember that.

Speaker 60 No, yeah.

Speaker 61 There's another guy that I was shocked, I wasn't happy as well.

Speaker 75 You actually, like, somehow you were in a, you came out of a haze.

Speaker 14 And you're like, why does he, why do we have to lose?

Speaker 3 I remember, and I remember, you were like, you know, whatever happens, should happen.

Speaker 61 Why do we have to lose this one?

Speaker 1 And I was just like, I remember going to Shelley.

Speaker 58 I go, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 115 I said, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 I go, if he wins, I jump back over to there, and I'm even a bigger dickhead.

Speaker 2 It works.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it worked.

Speaker 115 And it was up to the end.

Speaker 34 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 135 So it was real. It was real.

Speaker 120 If we knocked on those pins, we would have won.

Speaker 3 And I would have came over to those, and you guys could have, like, shunned me, but I would have been like, yes, we did it.

Speaker 79 I made this happen because I turned.

Speaker 10 You guys became better bowlers.

Speaker 101 I would have been like, it's because of me. You guys won.

Speaker 9 I motivated you.

Speaker 40 You were prepared.

Speaker 25 I had it all prepared to get it.

Speaker 7 Either way.

Speaker 64 But that was a real end.

Speaker 120 We were like, dude, if you knock these, we win. If you don't.

Speaker 75 And he was mad.

Speaker 92 As he would be throughout all seven seasons.

Speaker 97 He would find some reason.

Speaker 100 I don't know if you mad.

Speaker 1 But he was mad at you coming over to him and be like, I want you to throw this match, throw a gutter ball or something.

Speaker 63 And he was like, he was not having it.

Speaker 72 He wanted to see if he could win it.

Speaker 86 He didn't.

Speaker 55 So I had to go with, like, you know, like, clerks, clerks, clerks, clerks.

Speaker 75 I'll see you guys on Monday.

Speaker 119 Oh, good.

Speaker 53 It's great.

Speaker 88 It's great.

Speaker 119 Rubbing.

Speaker 75 I mean, such a polarizing figure here.

Speaker 64 I mean, rubbing your face is being the worst sport ever. You were the worst sport.

Speaker 121 Win, lose, or draw, you were the worst sport ever.

Speaker 34 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 120 Like, a high school gym teacher would hate you chastise you

Speaker 42 yeah but i thought it was like i thought it was good quality tv it was man it was so much fun

Speaker 5 yeah

Speaker 102 i don't even think the clerks guys knew what knew what were going on they had no idea what was happening i don't even think they knew like the ramification of what was going on i remember one of them coming up to me at some point and going maybe it was Ernie going how are you gonna cut all this what are you gonna do with this because when you're shooting scenes like that we're not shooting an actual bowling game right it's like

Speaker 133 down and we're collecting shots and kind of and then we could build the game after.

Speaker 121 But I remember, I think it was Ernie's being like, What are you gonna do with all this?

Speaker 133 It just seemed like disparate footage, like what

Speaker 135 it was a chore, you know what I mean?

Speaker 120 But it but it worked, and boy, to see you dancing out there.

Speaker 121 See you guys on Monday.

Speaker 3 That's why I said I didn't want it to end, I wanted to see more footage of them bitching and complaining,

Speaker 109 man.

Speaker 13 Plus, we got to get him from Collingwood.

Speaker 18 That's right.

Speaker 19 Get him's first appearance

Speaker 15 in Comic Bookman is in episode one.

Speaker 120 I did a double take.

Speaker 48 I really did.

Speaker 120 Because, again, I wasn't at the shoot, and I'm like, wait a minute.

Speaker 121 I know that face.

Speaker 156 Hey, wait a minute. Where'd you get that hat?

Speaker 33 That's the hat.

Speaker 35 That's the hat.

Speaker 7 Sit down until they get you on camera.

Speaker 64 Where'd you get this hat? Where'd you get the hat?

Speaker 158 He gave it to me and said it was your hat you wore in season one and to keep it safe.

Speaker 139 And you kept it safe. Yep.

Speaker 50 Oh my God,

Speaker 50 that's why he's around.

Speaker 72 That's the hat you were just talking about.

Speaker 45 Wait, so he's been wearing it this whole time?

Speaker 119 No, I've used it all this time.

Speaker 158 I've had it hidden. I'm not going to tell you where, because then he'd go, better find my other hidden stuff.

Speaker 50 Wow, there it is.

Speaker 137 A real artifact.

Speaker 127 This could be on network TV.

Speaker 28 This is like Rollerback, baby.

Speaker 35 Wow.

Speaker 56 This episode could be on, this could be a real episode.

Speaker 10 There it is. Look at it.

Speaker 5 There it sits.

Speaker 38 Holy cow.

Speaker 13 Quick little spot here for one of our favorite sponsors.

Speaker 103 Maybe, you know what?

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Speaker 32 So this next set of clips is dedicated to when TSD hits the road,

Speaker 15 focusing on when

Speaker 17 we have gotten outside of the confines of the studio.

Speaker 18 And much like, I guess,

Speaker 19 making hay, which people really dug when we got out of the studio, we don't get a chance to do it nearly enough with Q.

Speaker 19 So we've tried to take advantage of going outside the studio with other members of Tesde Town, including Frank, on a show called Broside Attractions.

Speaker 13 Haven't done a Broside in a while, but there is a very interesting one coming up, I hear. Haircutting Place.
Haunted Tattoo Shop.

Speaker 8 Oh, yes.

Speaker 16 I thought it was a haunted haircutting place.

Speaker 19 Yes. Bro Side Attractions featuring Frank Five, where we hit the road and interview people at locations.

Speaker 83 We did one at the Clinton diner where we had to eat the world's biggest hamburger.

Speaker 13 Yeah, or at least attempt to.

Speaker 122 Did you have confidence in our team, or were you a little like

Speaker 75 in the war I saw? Well, you know what?

Speaker 4 I had confidence in our team until I saw what a 50-pound burger looked like.

Speaker 53 Always. Oh, my God.

Speaker 74 Oh, my God.

Speaker 35 Wow.

Speaker 50 Look at that monster.

Speaker 13 And then I was like, I don't know how to fucking measure or weight anything.

Speaker 68 Like, Jimmy the Hair guy

Speaker 1 could sleep on that burger.

Speaker 75 Yeah. Like, sleep.

Speaker 75 And sleep with the bun over him.

Speaker 75 He looked like Stewart Little next to that fucking burger.

Speaker 6 You can be Jimmy the pink guy.

Speaker 26 It's about

Speaker 67 you tapped out?

Speaker 104 Oh my god, Bonnie!

Speaker 137 All right, buddy.

Speaker 35 Wow.

Speaker 50 I oversold you.

Speaker 63 The over-under was definitely on you tapping out first, so congratulations.

Speaker 95 You beat a teenage girl

Speaker 13 you don't have any more in you no no more wow

Speaker 3 your first inclination as soon as the first person drops out is like

Speaker 78 a try

Speaker 13 well at least i wasn't all full of bluster like sage where she's like never give up i'll never give up

Speaker 120 and then i was like oh thank god i'm out

Speaker 75 you were next right after sage i went no frank went next.

Speaker 118 Frank went next.

Speaker 120 As soon as I saw Sage tap, I was like, I'm out.

Speaker 4 I didn't want to tell you this. I didn't want to say this to anybody else, but I got up and I walked out of that table because I teared up a little bit.

Speaker 4 I went into the bathroom and I cried a little, honestly, because

Speaker 75 I let this.

Speaker 35 You cost us fucking $450.

Speaker 27 She was crying on camera.

Speaker 13 We paid for those tears.

Speaker 162 It was my idea. It was my doing.

Speaker 20 I really thought we were going to win, and I let everybody down, I know.

Speaker 30 Who told you to turn here, Brian?

Speaker 35 Nobody.

Speaker 137 I thought you did.

Speaker 35 Somebody did.

Speaker 70 I was like, why are you turning?

Speaker 50 I thought you said somebody told me to turn.

Speaker 18 Nobody told you to turn.

Speaker 99 We went to the Renaissance Fair with Frank.

Speaker 163 Hello, we're here with Schmendrick the magician

Speaker 140 and Matt, the ventriloquist.

Speaker 137 Yes, that's him.

Speaker 63 Can Frank put his hand?

Speaker 43 Can Frank put his hand in Smendra?

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 140 You've got to be a little careful.

Speaker 76 Is your hand cold? Because it's wet.

Speaker 9 What am I doing?

Speaker 37 Right there?

Speaker 63 Let's see your...

Speaker 79 Point to the camera and do your best ventriloquist with your...

Speaker 63 Don't move your lips. Try.

Speaker 127 Well, how do you get this mouth open?

Speaker 149 The rod is over there for his mouth.

Speaker 140 I'll hold his hand. Frank, you act like we never held a puppet before.

Speaker 127 I can't even find the rod.

Speaker 26 That's a very sad one.

Speaker 137 I should never find the rod.

Speaker 50 Do that again.

Speaker 119 Do that again. Hello.

Speaker 165 Why?

Speaker 112 Say a sentence.

Speaker 34 We're here at the Renaissance Festival.

Speaker 63 And we're going to see the king.

Speaker 64 And we're seeing the king in just a few moments.

Speaker 35 I can't find the hydro rod.

Speaker 166 You know how you do that?

Speaker 80 Oh, wait, here it is.

Speaker 80 I found him.

Speaker 140 Yeah.

Speaker 164 And they always go, oh, you look beautiful in that dress. And then they walk away and go, oh my God, look how fat she is.

Speaker 141 That's how you do it.

Speaker 37 Smile.

Speaker 141 I can't believe.

Speaker 137 Wow.

Speaker 144 I didn't see either of your lips moving.

Speaker 35 No, no, no, no, no, that's true.

Speaker 18 I kind of get the feel you're in Frank Five mode right now because you're talking and go get that Frank Five

Speaker 67 drive.

Speaker 16 In this clip, we went to Storybook Land, which is like a much, much

Speaker 20 watered-down version of, I guess, I don't want to say Disney World.

Speaker 15 I think that's not

Speaker 28 a good idea.

Speaker 11 But it's a 1950s,

Speaker 3 what would you call it?

Speaker 10 It's not

Speaker 30 attractions with rides,

Speaker 19 and it's all based on storybook characters.

Speaker 29 And we went there, and this is one of my favorite ones.

Speaker 13 You used to go here with your daughters, right?

Speaker 16 Yes, I used to go here constantly.

Speaker 40 I can't wait to go back with

Speaker 18 Oliver.

Speaker 13 Oh, the grandson, you're right.

Speaker 8 Grandson soon.

Speaker 13 You get to go and do everything over there.

Speaker 42 To revisit it one last time. Thanks.

Speaker 15 Unless I get to make it to a great-grandfather.

Speaker 12 It's not impossible.

Speaker 64 I was talking to Q about that the other day.

Speaker 35 I was like, what could Mary easily become a great-grandfather in our lifetime?

Speaker 75 That would be insane.

Speaker 131 This is Christmas magic right here.

Speaker 127 All right, you know, it's July.

Speaker 7 Right, that's why it's called magic. Okay.

Speaker 167 It's what, 80-something degrees, 90-something degrees today?

Speaker 13 Frank, why such a denier?

Speaker 168 I know.

Speaker 26 You're a monster.

Speaker 144 I'm sorry, I know.

Speaker 102 You're a monster. It's magic.

Speaker 37 It's magic.

Speaker 35 It's magic.

Speaker 113 It's really magic.

Speaker 163 Jessica, does anybody ever, on a Christmas story, put their tongue

Speaker 138 out? It does a little bit. If one of us did that, would that gross you out right now?

Speaker 167 Probably not, but I mean, like, I would never in a million years. But go ahead, Frank.

Speaker 146 Put your tongue on the pulse.

Speaker 167 You guys could try it.

Speaker 13 It depends on how essentially he does it.

Speaker 80 There you go. There you go.

Speaker 137 There you go.

Speaker 167 I think it stops. Should be salty?

Speaker 33 Like that? Should be salty.

Speaker 76 Awesome.

Speaker 27 But Frank,

Speaker 61 you went up there, man, and you were licking the North Pole like a champ. Like it was ice cream.

Speaker 60 Yeah. Hey, if there's a pole

Speaker 76 and Walt's like, hey, episode three, come on.

Speaker 23 I'll lick the pole.

Speaker 27 There's a pole and I've got a tongue.

Speaker 5 Are you.

Speaker 149 How are you knowing to do this?

Speaker 131 It's not saying anything because I have the volume off.

Speaker 163 Guess who's driving to the next one?

Speaker 163 You can drive to the next one.

Speaker 169 Just don't let the six cylinders get to your head.

Speaker 16 This next clip is when Frank brought his DeLorean to a car show, a New Jersey car show.

Speaker 12 I remember it well.

Speaker 99 And he was not treated with any sort of hospitality by the New Jersey

Speaker 21 contestants, who I think were none too happy to see this New Yorker roll in with his fancy schmancy DeLorean.

Speaker 13 His movie car.

Speaker 16 His movie car.

Speaker 29 With his movie money.

Speaker 13 They seemed very clicky to those people.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 13 there wasn't much room for outsiders.

Speaker 19 And then this clip also explains how things went even more south as Frank won the 50-50.

Speaker 72 You gave some toys to some kids. You donated to the autistic kids.

Speaker 31 You gave some money.

Speaker 72 And

Speaker 72 that was cool, and that was really sincere.

Speaker 72 And that would have set you up to come back again next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and become a beloved member of that car community until you go and win.

Speaker 119 We won the 50-50.

Speaker 13 And I wasn't out there, but I hear that like when his number was called and he's like, hey, it's me, it was dead silence.

Speaker 119 Nobody was happy.

Speaker 58 Me, Alex, and my wife, my wife who came, and all our wives came for this event because they were so, I don't know why.

Speaker 63 This is the first time they've ever done anything.

Speaker 75 They're like, we want to see the DeLorean at a car show.

Speaker 69 They're like, how boring is that?

Speaker 13 Deb, you can go out to the garage and see the DeLorean.

Speaker 68 But we all clapped, and it was like

Speaker 72 the only people clapping

Speaker 59 in a football field.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 107 You literally heard crickets.

Speaker 72 You could hear crickets. And how much did you walk away with?

Speaker 4 It was $135.

Speaker 75 $130, I thought it was. $130.

Speaker 72 And I heard that it's commonplace for the winner to donate the money back to the Autistic Kids, or at least some of it. So how much did you give back to the Autistic Kids?

Speaker 4 I took all of it

Speaker 75 because they were mean to me.

Speaker 13 Not even a percentage.

Speaker 3 You could have gave back a 50

Speaker 55 and just looked like a fucking champ.

Speaker 4 They call the 50-50 number, and then I'm coming up there, and people are starting to clap. And then the guy in the microphone goes, Oh, Harry Carter comes the winner.

Speaker 4 Oh, the guy with the DeLorean shirt.

Speaker 75 And then all of a sudden, you're

Speaker 38 and that was it.

Speaker 4 And then just like, it was like, and the money was just on the table.

Speaker 75 They were like, here you go.

Speaker 10 It wasn't even like handed to me.

Speaker 101 It was like there was uncomfortable.

Speaker 72 We don't have it on camera because it got really dark and we put all the gear away.

Speaker 170 And we never thought for there was a chance in hell that we would make it to the calling of the 50-50 and or that any of us would win it or that any of us would keep it.

Speaker 129 Now, Bry Tries is

Speaker 19 a show we do on Patreon where Brian tries new hobbies in a search for something that he finds fun to do.

Speaker 13 Some sort of meaning.

Speaker 18 Some sort of meaning or just some way to pass the time.

Speaker 24 Right. That isn't TV.

Speaker 20 So here, I don't know.

Speaker 19 I can't believe the curator has put on here Bry Try's theme song.

Speaker 40 If it's gotten this bad that one of our best of clips is the theme song, it's not actually content, it's just a theme song.

Speaker 35 I have to be honest, I don't think I've ever heard the theme song. I didn't know I had a theme song.

Speaker 20 I think the theme song was I Want to Try Everything by some sort of female singer.

Speaker 63 Now, Bruh picked this because I he was he was hot and heavy.

Speaker 47 He goes, I want to use this song. I was like, I don't care.

Speaker 8 Okay. I don't even care what it is.

Speaker 40 Yes, use it, whatever. It's behind a paywall.

Speaker 68 So I don't even know if we can play this clip.

Speaker 60 We'll find out.

Speaker 40 If there's a big old gap and there's just dead air,

Speaker 20 that means that we had to remove this clip or Declan had to remove this clip.

Speaker 29 And I don't know why the fuck the Bry Treis theme song would make the cut on a best of compilation.

Speaker 103 Yeah, like if it were

Speaker 13 like

Speaker 13 the Sagi and Dada show, where it was specific to the show as opposed to like, you know, just somebody else doing a song. Yeah, it's really weird.

Speaker 109 Try every single.

Speaker 109 Try every single.

Speaker 109 Try every single.

Speaker 109 Try everything.

Speaker 15 We've gone metal detecting on Brian Tries.

Speaker 13 Will I find something? Will I find some buried doubloons?

Speaker 140 It was Matt from what's your company, Matt?

Speaker 172 Matt with Jersey Shore Ringfinder.

Speaker 140 Looks like Walt's ready to scoop dog shit off the beach. Is that what these things are for?

Speaker 51 I'm ready to do that to help you find

Speaker 165 the perfect house.

Speaker 67 That's what it's for.

Speaker 137 That's a friend.

Speaker 136 That is a friend.

Speaker 49 The weirdest thing you've ever found on the beach.

Speaker 172 So the weirdest thing, and it was actually just laying on the beach, but I was out metal detecting with a friend, and we were walking along like the high tide line and uh there was uh probably about 15 feet behind us a mother and her young daughter walking behind us looking for shells so as i'm walking i actually came across a huge double-ended tilt

Speaker 67 it has metal in it it didn't no i didn't find it with the machine it was just laying there he's just laying there

Speaker 140 I actually have found a couple of small like pocket rockets though.

Speaker 1 Wow, we never would have thought that would be on on the beach.

Speaker 150 Where do you think that came from?

Speaker 157 People out there having a good time, I guess, at night. Really good time.

Speaker 67 I don't know.

Speaker 140 Did you observe the metal detector's law and pick it up and throw it away?

Speaker 67 I did with the scoop.

Speaker 70 I wasn't touching it with my hands.

Speaker 172 Because, you know, I didn't want that mother to have to walk across that with her young daughter while they're looking for shells.

Speaker 70 Right. Especially.

Speaker 150 Single-headed would have been fine. Double-headed.

Speaker 70 Yeah, that would have been fine.

Speaker 129 Like, you could have been like, you know, that's just an Ed Heimerhead little baby shark.

Speaker 172 Yeah,

Speaker 37 yeah,

Speaker 70 yeah.

Speaker 67 A two-headed eel.

Speaker 70 Yeah, that thing was.

Speaker 80 I don't know, man.

Speaker 172 I'm a little concerned about whoever was using that.

Speaker 143 Yeah, on the beach, that's really weird.

Speaker 172 Just in general, because that thing was a monster.

Speaker 75 That's I always am like, who's

Speaker 14 partaking in that activity on a beach when it gets all sand on it and everything?

Speaker 39 Who the fuck is

Speaker 14 doing double-donging on a beach beach on a sandy, nasty beach, though?

Speaker 13 Like, I personally have not, nor do I know anyone who has ever double-donged it on a beach, not even close.

Speaker 132 Yeah, you get those granules in there on it and everything, and especially if you look at it.

Speaker 98 And I assume it's, it's,

Speaker 98 I don't think it's two girls doing it down there.

Speaker 8 I don't know why, but in my head, I just picture two

Speaker 3 weirdos down there, and you know they've got to put some lube on it.

Speaker 79 And once you put lube on it, sand is going to stick to it like a magnet.

Speaker 42 And you're never going to get that sand off.

Speaker 13 Dude, you're so right.

Speaker 13 That's the leavings of two deviant guys.

Speaker 27 You're right.

Speaker 13 There aren't two women who are like, hey, you know what would be fun? You know what we should do?

Speaker 62 Tee hee?

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 3 These are two strangers who fucking met on the internet.

Speaker 12 Yeah, they were on Grinder, and they're like, do you like dildos and sand?

Speaker 75 Yes, I do.

Speaker 5 As a matter of fact, that's something you should ask.

Speaker 14 Think of the stories, though, for the podcast, though.

Speaker 58 You find something as crazy as a double-donged dildo?

Speaker 110 Oh, that would be great.

Speaker 98 Or you could just start planting stuff on the beach, coming back, you know.

Speaker 10 Like those gay guys were back.

Speaker 103 I found another dildo.

Speaker 113 That's all I ever found.

Speaker 75 Yeah, you stop buying metal detectors and start buying silicone fucking detecting equipment.

Speaker 75 You start putting them

Speaker 3 over your fireplace, like a trophy head hunting.

Speaker 55 Instead of an elephant head, it's like a double-donged black dildo found on the beach in 2025.

Speaker 61 Then you have a white one next to it, and you got a green one.

Speaker 103 That'd be pretty amazing.

Speaker 3 You would be the goat of finding fucking discarded sexual toys on a beach.

Speaker 13 Yeah, like when I'm on that metal detector like Reddit thread, people are like, he's either lying or he's crazy.

Speaker 17 Or he's the fucking absolute best yeah he's at what he does yeah i lost a dildo i'm gonna have to

Speaker 12 nj dildo finder

Speaker 17 we've talked to the crochet lady now this is i'm just reading off curator's list i don't know if he means the yarn lady or the crochet crochet lady crochet lady and yarn lady i think were the same thing weren't they yeah they were yeah now for those who aren't on the patreon and have heard us talk about the yarn lady or our neighbor i'm not i don't know if i'm happy about this.

Speaker 19 I'm giving up this for free.

Speaker 20 This fucking rare audio with the Yarn Lady.

Speaker 13 And it's rather recently, too, I'd say, compared to some of the other stuff.

Speaker 17 But yeah, here you go, fight people.

Speaker 21 You're going to get a chance to listen to the Yarn Lady, at least a clip, a snippet.

Speaker 16 If you want to hear the whole thing, you're going to have to go sign up.

Speaker 13 Yeah, listen very carefully. You might be able to hear Scooter the guinea pig in the background.
Keep it warm.

Speaker 18 Really excited to finally introduce to the listeners Flo, the yarn lady of Airport Plaza.

Speaker 103 Much spoken about.

Speaker 170 Is crocheting a hobby that you would say is on the

Speaker 170 is it an expensive hobby to get into, or do you think it's more on the

Speaker 174 it? It's really inexpensive. These hooks are available in most dollar stores and that kind of thing.

Speaker 174 And then you can get as expensive as you want. If you want fine yarns, cashmeres, and merino and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 170 What is the finest of the yarns?

Speaker 174 Cashmere is

Speaker 174 about the highest that I would go.

Speaker 98 What's a ball of cashmere go for?

Speaker 174 Yeah, anywhere from $50 to

Speaker 174 $75,

Speaker 174 depending on what it is.

Speaker 170 I mean, I'm ignorant on it. What's cashmere made out of?

Speaker 174 It's cashmere from a goat. It's wool from a goat.

Speaker 170 Is it a special kind of goat?

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 36 Must be wool for sure.

Speaker 145 This yarn is that expensive. Yeah,

Speaker 174 there are goats that are bred for their fur.

Speaker 52 Fuck.

Speaker 79 I just, when I was getting in goat or I say something so stupid that, you know, she goes basically, it goes like,

Speaker 58 she just basically was like, what an idiot.

Speaker 23 She was like, a goat?

Speaker 54 A special goat?

Speaker 23 Dude, yeah,

Speaker 13 I have cashmere sweaters.

Speaker 23 I didn't know.

Speaker 2 Am I crazy?

Speaker 45 Or is that kind of like, yeah, you know.

Speaker 18 It's a special kind of goat, but does the common man know that it's a special case?

Speaker 107 I don't think so.

Speaker 13 I mean, there were two common men right there that didn't know.

Speaker 91 i mean if you could have told me it came from some sort of like a unicorn i'd be like oh really wow that's pretty cool for the really because you think if a goat in a junkyard you know they live in junkyards you can came 10 cans i really know about these goats not those goats definitely after the goats

Speaker 174 um there's alpaca there's merino which is a sheep wool there are a lot of different kinds of sheep wool that you can get now dealing in yarn how much yarn you need have you ever thought of just getting your own goat and just just growing goats there's a a lot of work that goes into it.

Speaker 35 From the goat onto

Speaker 40 my hawk.

Speaker 14 I just can't shut up.

Speaker 98 I'm trying to recover so badly.

Speaker 18 Now I'm saying something even more stupid.

Speaker 45 Like, why don't you just go get your own goats?

Speaker 3 Are you stupid?

Speaker 45 Because I'm trying so hard to get back into

Speaker 98 her races, trying to say something pithy, something that's going to impress her, and I just keep fucking it up big time.

Speaker 174 You know, you have to clean it, you have to spin it, you have to

Speaker 72 when the kids come in, they can pet the goat.

Speaker 9 It's like more yarn. yarns heading.

Speaker 39 That's true, that's true.

Speaker 36 I hadn't thought of that.

Speaker 123 Yeah, yeah, we could try that for you.

Speaker 111 How long, I mean, you, I know I've lived in the area for my whole life, I've driven past the plaza, I've seen your sign here for a long time. How long have you been at the airport plaza?

Speaker 98 Ten and a half years, ten and a half years, right?

Speaker 132 That's great.

Speaker 61 Just trying to impress her and say anything like you lavish her with praise.

Speaker 75 You really are trying to get in her good graces.

Speaker 75 Is this too much?

Speaker 5 Is this too much?

Speaker 3 If you can see my legs underneath the table, they're just going a million miles an hour like a duck.

Speaker 97 Trying so hard to recover from the fucking, the faux pas of saying, like, is it a special kind of goat?

Speaker 45 Right.

Speaker 19 Like, where does cashmere come from?

Speaker 42 It was just, oh.

Speaker 13 Your answer was like, well, why don't you get your own special kind of goat then?

Speaker 3 It's so fucking embarrassing.

Speaker 42 Do the needle, what are they called?

Speaker 17 The needle hooks, do they, like, you seem like you have like a very

Speaker 96 one?

Speaker 124 No, this is not high-end.

Speaker 42 Do they come like is there more a better hook than other hooks?

Speaker 174 There are some, but

Speaker 174 everything

Speaker 174 when you're talking about knitting or crochet is personal preference, what you like and what works for you.

Speaker 35 I like this one because I like this.

Speaker 5 That's his problem.

Speaker 18 If he does anything, he immediately goes out and he has to have the best and the most expensive version of it.

Speaker 75 He turns on his joy.

Speaker 5 He's an asshole.

Speaker 119 I'm cool.

Speaker 75 That's exactly what I did.

Speaker 3 I'm not proud of it, but I was like, fuck it, I'm going to try to fucking make you look bad and make me rise myself up. Where's the bus?

Speaker 9 Come on, Brian.

Speaker 93 Right under it.

Speaker 174 I'm not going to make a million dollars over it, but, you know,

Speaker 174 there's a fair amount if you have a really good pattern in it.

Speaker 13 Like if you get on Etsy and you can sell it, right? Right.

Speaker 174 That pattern actually is one I got from etsy so

Speaker 57 and but and then someone will have to pay you for the pattern right it's not like like where the internet just steals it right because that's what they do to us

Speaker 34 no one's stealing our content i'm just trying to make

Speaker 36 important

Speaker 27 to flow we're victims you understand

Speaker 13 we don't want it to happen to you too

Speaker 101 that's what people do to us i don't know why i said that i have no idea why i said that i just try to make it seem like we're big time.

Speaker 13 I'm not sure it worked.

Speaker 3 I apologize. I don't know why I said that.

Speaker 107 Start complaining to her. What do you know about copyright laws, by the way?

Speaker 118 Can you help us?

Speaker 19 Now, this next clip, I can't believe it took us decades to finally get here. But on this episode of Bry Tries, we have gone out to get him Steve Davis bottle dump.

Speaker 16 And I'm ashamed that it escaped me that it took us like, why haven't we go sooner?

Speaker 13 We were asking the same questions when we were there. It's like, yeah, what took us so long?

Speaker 18 A golden opportunity.

Speaker 41 And for some reason, it took years to finally get us out there.

Speaker 32 But I think

Speaker 15 this has got to be the clip that's going to make people go, if you're not on the Patreon,

Speaker 17 you're definitely signing up after this clip.

Speaker 98 Yeah, so we traveled all the way out to Burlington and met James Tickle.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 13 and today we're here with James who is a renowned bottle collector and we're talking about bottles.

Speaker 52 Yes, sir. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 13 This is a hobby of yours. Yes, yes.

Speaker 175 I've been doing this for about eight years now.

Speaker 13 Do you find that you like to do it solo or do you have a partner that you're going to do?

Speaker 175 Oh, no, I always try to have a digging buddy. Like I've seen my friend, I bought my friend here.
He's been with me countless times where he has

Speaker 175 always got my back, you know.

Speaker 130 Just for instance, I was down in a well and it caved in, so he pulled me out, actually.

Speaker 13 Really?

Speaker 130 And yeah, he ate it. So I always have a digging buddy.

Speaker 175 If you're in a dump, you know, a wall could collapse. It's not shored up, right? It could collapse.

Speaker 57 This is a dangerous hobby.

Speaker 130 It could be, technically, there is very safe ways you could do it.

Speaker 13 You know, especially that's the way I went

Speaker 13 looking for bottles in a well.

Speaker 60 Could you imagine that?

Speaker 98 Like, you need a buddy to go look for bottles?

Speaker 13 Yeah, like, I feel like my bench is not that deep as far as digging buddies go.

Speaker 83 You call up Q, you're like, you know, you want to go out and be my bet, my bottle buddy.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing today?

Speaker 13 He's like, yeah, just sitting around being rich. I'm like, hey, I got a better idea.
Let's go to some privy pits.

Speaker 119 You're my bottle buddy.

Speaker 13 In case a fucking wall caves in on me, I need you.

Speaker 10 And he's like, he never goes out solo.

Speaker 107 No.

Speaker 21 Again, I think, yes, he doesn't go out solo, but I think he's digging in places where he could get arrested.

Speaker 3 Living in in someone's garage.

Speaker 13 By digging, I mean breaking and entering.

Speaker 13 I usually have a buddy watch my back, and by my back, I mean the coast. Make sure it's clear.

Speaker 9 Poor James Tickle.

Speaker 132 We're going to go somewhere that has been talked about for seemingly over a decade.

Speaker 109 Right.

Speaker 21 Get him Steve Dave's bottle dump.

Speaker 13 It's almost as if

Speaker 13 it's mystic.

Speaker 13 You're not even sure if it really exists.

Speaker 13 It's only been talked about by him, not seen by human eyes.

Speaker 142 I tell you, I've built it up in my head.

Speaker 50 It's like bottles

Speaker 142 just sticking out of the ground

Speaker 1 from the all across a field.

Speaker 142 Like you can't see them for miles, just little bottles just like hanging out about like this.

Speaker 13 It's like somebody planted seeds for you.

Speaker 139 Yeah, you can just pluck them right out.

Speaker 8 Carrots.

Speaker 13 Does this give you like a standby-me vibe?

Speaker 89 A little bit. Yeah, right?

Speaker 23 Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 13 Walking along the train tracks, hanging out.

Speaker 29 I mean,

Speaker 17 thank God it wasn't up high, like, you know, over like some water or something.

Speaker 23 Oh, right, right.

Speaker 13 Oh, so we had to like run when the train came.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 120 Here we go.

Speaker 13 I was going to say, I was expecting more of a...

Speaker 149 Wait, this is it?

Speaker 176 Yeah.

Speaker 160 What?

Speaker 13 So I'm going to start to dig randomly?

Speaker 139 This is what we've been hurting. Oh, wait a minute.
What's that? Yeah, see?

Speaker 139 That just popped up out of nowhere? Yeah.

Speaker 72 Get a shot of that.

Speaker 31 Get a close-up of that.

Speaker 13 Two seconds ago, you're shitting on it.

Speaker 150 You're like, whoa, wait a second.

Speaker 171 Did you plant that?

Speaker 171 Did you come out here last night and put that out there? No, you can see.

Speaker 148 Holy shit. Can I hold it?

Speaker 143 Yeah.

Speaker 139 So what do you think this is? How old do you think this bottle is?

Speaker 161 Here's another one.

Speaker 177 This is an old

Speaker 160 cola bottle.

Speaker 139 Well, it's broken.

Speaker 160 Yeah, well,

Speaker 177 not everything is pristine out here.

Speaker 148 Look, man, it's like...

Speaker 139 How old do you place that at? Hundreds of years?

Speaker 143 Don't know.

Speaker 141 I'm trying to, just trying to.

Speaker 14 So we're standing at the bottle dump right now.

Speaker 171 Yes, this is...

Speaker 139 This is sacred ground in TSD town right here.

Speaker 139 I mean, my heart is pounding. I know you can't see it, but it's like like a jackhammer.

Speaker 13 Mine wasn't until we arrived and then I was like wait this is it I expected to see like glint like sun glinting off the trees.

Speaker 73 Bottles over all for miles around

Speaker 116 you know it's it's covered by

Speaker 147 like you know like James said you got to dig down to you know find the treasure.

Speaker 172 All right so

Speaker 139 we got to dig down let's start seeing some

Speaker 177 what do we want us to do get him I'm just trying to right now I'm just trying to figure out Look at him.

Speaker 20 He's like a shaman now. Yeah.

Speaker 13 He's like feeling the earth. He's trying to feel for the glass the boy of the earth talks too i don't want to gloss over how much other shit was around here

Speaker 13 because it's it's always like oh that's an old blah blah blah but it's like it was there were like stoves and car doors and stuff that you're like but this is not this is not an easily accessible area so you're like how did they get this shit here and why

Speaker 3 yeah no we never got answers is yeah why is all this crap back here i think it was maybe because he said there was a train there's a train that go by and they would like dump off garbage and stuff.

Speaker 13 But you, like, I would understand bottles and like stuff that they were using on the train, but they weren't using stoves and car doors and stuff like that.

Speaker 61 Yeah, who's like, you know what?

Speaker 42 We're going to take a train ride down the shore.

Speaker 45 Let's bring that old stove that doesn't work anymore so we can get somewhere to dump it.

Speaker 83 You look like Sophia Loren with those arm

Speaker 50 clubs, those long arm clubs.

Speaker 13 Man can get lonely out in the woods.

Speaker 25 Just whistle.

Speaker 67 You got a whistle, don't you?

Speaker 53 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, shit.

Speaker 149 What is it?

Speaker 102 Oh, a midget bottle.

Speaker 177 Nice cap, too.

Speaker 150 Look at this. It's a real perfume bottle.

Speaker 52 Can Bry have that?

Speaker 124 Yeah.

Speaker 37 All right.

Speaker 13 Bring it home, clean it up. Yep.

Speaker 142 Give it to Mary Beth. Bring it to the podcast table.

Speaker 25 All right.

Speaker 116 You know, they say birds will give other birds like a sharp, a shiny pebble to show their affection.

Speaker 139 We're just picking them out of the ground like fucking daisies. It's exciting, isn't it?

Speaker 13 It's kind of, I mean, no.

Speaker 161 Come on, look at that.

Speaker 148 That's a real bottle.

Speaker 40 This next segment is dedicated to in-studio production specials and games.

Speaker 14 And up first is a one-off, a one-shot.

Speaker 17 I'd hoped it would become a regular series.

Speaker 64 The radio theater?

Speaker 21 The Will Rogers Radio Theater.

Speaker 16 But that meant that somebody was going to have to write a radio play.

Speaker 19 And I remember giving the task to Jimmy.

Speaker 41 I want you to write the next one.

Speaker 20 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 41 Yeah, and I don't know if he ever did it.

Speaker 18 Well, he hasn't mentioned it.

Speaker 40 Yeah, he may have.

Speaker 28 I don't want to throw him under the bus.

Speaker 18 I don't want to check him under the bus completely.

Speaker 105 I could

Speaker 86 hear

Speaker 32 in my memories of a textic change where he said he had given a story to Will Rogers.

Speaker 13 Will Rogers probably threw it out.

Speaker 5 Fuck this shit.

Speaker 21 Yeah, but this particular radio theater episode is the only one in existence, and it took a story that I had written or a radio play that I had written with Sunday Jeff acting the role of a TV 70s detective.

Speaker 21 And we assembled a table of actors and we decided we would try to bring it to life via audio only, this script.

Speaker 13 This is the TESD Sunday Night Mystery.

Speaker 125 He had nothing on my little brother Skip. Dad and I found him on a hike in the woods and raised him like he was our own.

Speaker 125 He may have been simple, but he looked up to me, and I took care of him as best as I could.

Speaker 137 Found him in the woods. Found him in the woods.

Speaker 9 I guess we'll adopt him.

Speaker 9 Sleeping on a bunch of bottles.

Speaker 75 May as well keep work.

Speaker 138 Some lady comes back to her campsigner's baby's missing.

Speaker 35 I don't remember.

Speaker 75 I forgot.

Speaker 102 It's been so long since I read this that I forgot to do this.

Speaker 35 I haven't remembered.

Speaker 102 Did you do this, or it was this awesome?

Speaker 112 I can't remember.

Speaker 50 I was about to ask you, I don't remember anymore.

Speaker 35 I have no idea.

Speaker 34 They just found them.

Speaker 179 I have to admit, I haven't looked at this since you and I agreed it's done.

Speaker 180 I have no idea.

Speaker 125 That was Den, and this is now. And I crave drugs.

Speaker 13 I can't tell you. When I went to rehab, I can't tell you how many stories were exactly like this, where people are just yelling, I crave drugs at other people.

Speaker 35 I crave drugs. I crave drugs.

Speaker 5 No, she said it all.

Speaker 60 No one ever said that.

Speaker 181 I crave drugs, too.

Speaker 6 Me too.

Speaker 35 I can't believe we all have this in common.

Speaker 155 I know you do, Sonny. But now it's my turn to take care of you.

Speaker 26 I'm going to get you clean and ready. Skip is going to get you clean and drag.

Speaker 56 My God. I don't think you can read that line

Speaker 13 without it fading to black, and everybody's like, I know you're not.

Speaker 35 I'm thinking the same thing to me.

Speaker 14 I won't clean it as good as I did the Chiefs' Toilet Bowl.

Speaker 35 It'll look like a gumdrop.

Speaker 5 Fade up later.

Speaker 28 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh.

Speaker 105 So

Speaker 75 I was going to say that it was back in the art stairs.

Speaker 78 It brought a tear to my eye that I was

Speaker 75 really good.

Speaker 179 Couldn't agree more.

Speaker 37 Couldn't agree more. Go ahead.

Speaker 155 I know you do, Sonny. But now it's my turn to take care of you.

Speaker 26 I'm going to get you clean and ready. Skip's going to get you clean and ready.

Speaker 35 At least you got it.

Speaker 10 We got the line.

Speaker 13 Everything's weird about it. Everything.

Speaker 138 We're stepping into a different fucking reality.

Speaker 80 Candyman, what?

Speaker 149 I don't think we're worried about anything else.

Speaker 35 It's a new villain.

Speaker 56 Oh, shit. Really good, can you do any good?

Speaker 105 He just wants to hear it.

Speaker 50 But say Walt this time.

Speaker 6 No, don't say Walt about it.

Speaker 155 I know you do, Sonny. But now it's my turn to take care of you.

Speaker 26 I'm going to get you clean and ready.

Speaker 38 Skip, skip.

Speaker 6 At least you had a clean one the first time.

Speaker 137 I'm going to get you.

Speaker 109 wheels.

Speaker 140 We're in the bathroom now.

Speaker 13 The working title of this piece is clean and ready for sure.

Speaker 13 Sonny is in the bath while Skip gives him a scrub.

Speaker 9 Under the balls. Under the balls.

Speaker 114 Is this the thing?

Speaker 141 Remember, you're like, can we shoot in your bathroom?

Speaker 35 There's something I want to shoot.

Speaker 81 Oh, my God.

Speaker 33 He's kind of shit.

Speaker 26 See, it was Walt.

Speaker 5 oh my good

Speaker 169 i remember you asking me this like years ago yeah i thought they could wear their shorts

Speaker 68 and we would shoot right from the outside

Speaker 80 i mean i definitely have a big enough bathroom now for sure

Speaker 32 let's do it all right these next set of clips from a show called t-e-s-d-nd

Speaker 14 which i have to say it

Speaker 18 didn't start off with its own show initially.

Speaker 14 It was something we did on the all-new Sunday Jeff show where we had a TS D ⁇ D one-off with just a one-shot episode, and people adored it.

Speaker 58 People demanded it.

Speaker 21 I will sign up to higher tiers if you make this a regular show.

Speaker 34 And so we did.

Speaker 13 That's one of those ones, like, that mystifies me because it looks like as we're playing it, I'm like, this is so boring.

Speaker 35 How do people play this game?

Speaker 105 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 55 Do you mean our content, you mean, or the regular T and D ⁇ D content? The regular game.

Speaker 7 I don't think we're playing it properly, though.

Speaker 64 You don't think so?

Speaker 35 From all the the complaints that I read.

Speaker 35 From real players?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think it's the fact that we're just not playing it properly.

Speaker 32 But yeah, for whatever reason, people demanded TS DD, and we gave it to them.

Speaker 15 And then once they got it, they were like, please end it.

Speaker 8 But here are some of the best moments of TESD.

Speaker 105 And I'm sure.

Speaker 41 That weeping sound is Tom, our dungeon master, realizing that that show is probably not coming back.

Speaker 103 You think?

Speaker 12 I I can hear it a little bit.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I hear weeping.

Speaker 182 Wandering Baron, Yes. I need you to come with me.
Your future is in danger.

Speaker 149 Well, partner,

Speaker 15 I'm going to need a little bit more information

Speaker 15 if you want the wandering baron to accompany you.

Speaker 148 I'll say, boy.

Speaker 173 I appreciate you.

Speaker 173 What do you want?

Speaker 26 Herbs and spices.

Speaker 173 It's a good recipe.

Speaker 149 Stop making a lot of sense to me.

Speaker 50 I'll say, I'll say it.

Speaker 148 Where are we going?

Speaker 26 I'll say, look.

Speaker 102 Come on, Sally.

Speaker 182 I don't have the time to explain. Time is of the essence.
We have many stops we have to make. I just need you to trust me.
My name is Sargent 1, and I come from the future.

Speaker 14 That is all you needed to say, son.

Speaker 15 I once knew a Sargelle called Sargelli.

Speaker 173 No.

Speaker 166 I didn't.

Speaker 173 Why can't I do that?

Speaker 171 Because that would be in the present.

Speaker 37 You were from the 1800s.

Speaker 173 Sargell 18 would be in the now time.

Speaker 102 It doesn't exist yet.

Speaker 149 Doesn't exist yet.

Speaker 182 Yeah, it wouldn't exist yet.

Speaker 136 You're in the wrong way. All right.

Speaker 50 All right, boy.

Speaker 131 Give me one good reason why I should trust you.

Speaker 173 All right, Barnett.

Speaker 142 I'm going to give you one good reason why I should trust you.

Speaker 182 There's injustice that needs to be justified.

Speaker 159 All right, I'll come.

Speaker 181 We see

Speaker 102 Frank the Fool

Speaker 105 tied

Speaker 26 to a

Speaker 159 sex swing on the door with a ball gag in his mouth.

Speaker 5 I love this game.

Speaker 64 My favorite game of all time. Not St.

Speaker 26 Christopher Cross, a sex swing.

Speaker 104 Sex swing, yes. Yeah, you know, like

Speaker 7 his arms are tied like this.

Speaker 34 His legs are spread apart. I thought you got to St.

Speaker 67 Christopher Cross.

Speaker 34 Well, I'm not really sure.

Speaker 138 I don't know that, but I know a sex swing, and Pride confirmed that's pretty much what it is.

Speaker 5 Yep.

Speaker 28 Arms are crossed, tied to a door, ball gag in his mouth.

Speaker 10 I want to break that wishbone.

Speaker 145 He doesn't like it.

Speaker 159 I said, Oh!

Speaker 109 No.

Speaker 1 Read what you want to do.

Speaker 10 The monster dick.

Speaker 134 What is the monster deck?

Speaker 172 I can summon a seven-foot-tall white gelatinous monster made out of the seed he has collected from his prior lovers.

Speaker 71 Blow your D20.

Speaker 165 On the camera, Mike.

Speaker 120 When you question that, look, yeah, look at the cameras.

Speaker 118 Or

Speaker 133 roll your D20 for damage.

Speaker 121 19. All right.

Speaker 40 Nice.

Speaker 134 Wow. How does the monster dick want to kill Ubaku?

Speaker 120 Nothing on your paper. You just described it.
Oh, shit, man.

Speaker 125 I'll put that shit right in his mouth. I'll boom.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 35 Like right through the back of his head, right?

Speaker 33 He is asleep. It's going to look like a tsunami of come.

Speaker 9 I checked for breath for like 15 minutes.

Speaker 35 Oh, I don't know what I want to do. I know what I got to do now.

Speaker 75 Brian, open it up.

Speaker 124 All right.

Speaker 183 You're going to take both your hands, because it's a full, almost as large a man, and open it up.

Speaker 133 And inside, filled to the brims with gold coins, overflowing.

Speaker 95 You go to stick your hand in.

Speaker 9 He just said he opened it. He didn't want to put his hand in it.

Speaker 121 Oh, no, that's he put his hand in.

Speaker 42 But you're making him put his hand in.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he just put it in. You're forcing his hands in to open it.

Speaker 106 Brian, I didn't tell him to put his hand in.

Speaker 50 He didn't want to fucking open it.

Speaker 35 You told him to open his hand.

Speaker 5 his fucking fault.

Speaker 67 Where did your accent go?

Speaker 8 I mean, you fucked up, pal.

Speaker 13 He just wants to agree, us to agree to everything that's going to make his dungeon mastering smoother for him.

Speaker 60 Nope. Yep.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 105 He's right.

Speaker 50 Everything in this.

Speaker 66 All right, fuckers.

Speaker 137 I just want to look at the treasure. What?

Speaker 116 What do you want to do? It's just filled with gold coins.

Speaker 153 His fucking hands in there now.

Speaker 26 Let's go and do it.

Speaker 35 Close it down and leave it.

Speaker 118 Close it and leave it.

Speaker 5 Fuck you. I can't fucking

Speaker 53 hold your fucking hand down.

Speaker 67 Why isn't this story going anywhere?

Speaker 51 You look around and it's not enough to do anything.

Speaker 34 We twin away thumbs.

Speaker 71 I don't know shit.

Speaker 179 Terrified of what's beneath that gold.

Speaker 35 You could have had a hand come and grab him.

Speaker 17 Was it a setup, though?

Speaker 73 Yes.

Speaker 73 Don't know.

Speaker 70 Don't know what you find out.

Speaker 105 You know it is because you're outside your elbow.

Speaker 169 You're trying to set me up.

Speaker 181 What do you guys want to do?

Speaker 122 What do you want to do, Brian?

Speaker 103 It seems like I have to put my hand in.

Speaker 35 No, no, no.

Speaker 25 You guys are free.

Speaker 104 This is your world.

Speaker 90 I can animate a dead body. I can make that goblin go put his hand in there.

Speaker 38 Oh!

Speaker 119 There you go.

Speaker 34 Motherfucker, my god.

Speaker 5 Suck it, dungeon master.

Speaker 101 Suck it, DM.

Speaker 55 You didn't expect that, did you?

Speaker 5 What do I do now?

Speaker 5 Let me take a five-minute break and do some rewrites.

Speaker 64 Hold on, who's weird as well?

Speaker 136 I'm so.

Speaker 71 Woo!

Speaker 64 I love you. Bro,

Speaker 120 you're D20.

Speaker 134 Let's see if you animate him.

Speaker 60 Can we just enlist him to become a permanent member of the party?

Speaker 64 No, but what I've been telling you guys is thinking outside of the box.

Speaker 184 He comes, he thinks outside of the box.

Speaker 133 Instead of putting his hand in, he takes his goblin and does that.

Speaker 120 That's exactly what I want you guys to do. Oh, did you?

Speaker 103 With the government,

Speaker 105 we got to say public together.

Speaker 55 I don't need to think about it.

Speaker 184 You guys have to think about it. That's the point.

Speaker 133 I come up with hundreds of scenarios.

Speaker 100 You guys.

Speaker 35 How fucking full of himself he is.

Speaker 13 Is he enjoying the sex swing?

Speaker 5 What if he doesn't want to be rescued?

Speaker 10 God, I wonder if he's enjoying it

Speaker 50 based in his head.

Speaker 13 You don't want to know with what.

Speaker 10 Almost done.

Speaker 182 How would you like to attack Crumpy?

Speaker 24 He's little.

Speaker 183 You have a pair of knives. What do you want to do?

Speaker 147 I would like to go for a

Speaker 19 center mat. Give him the Mexican bow tie.

Speaker 13 Or the Columbia necktie.

Speaker 137 Whichever comes easiest to you.

Speaker 26 Dude, a rusty trombone to him instead.

Speaker 35 All right,

Speaker 104 Cleveland Steel.

Speaker 102 You're going to try to make it like X-Men style across his chest.

Speaker 120 The other cage?

Speaker 14 You're obsessed with kids, bro.

Speaker 75 There's a lot of little kid stuff going on.

Speaker 5 And then they're in cages. Baby.
And then they got no babies.

Speaker 153 Because somebody has a strong moral compass and you assholes won't save anyone.

Speaker 154 Otherwise, you'd be like, fuck it, let's kill them.

Speaker 71 Let's fucking kill them.

Speaker 120 I thought maybe if it's a kid, it has a chance of living.

Speaker 135 And telling a story.

Speaker 120 That's why we have kids.

Speaker 138 If you promise not to kill everyone,

Speaker 35 we don't want to be on dateline.

Speaker 120 There is no dateline in this universe.

Speaker 48 All right.

Speaker 4 Hey, guys, thanks for saving me. Nothing sexual happened to me.

Speaker 34 Nothing wrong.

Speaker 48 I swear.

Speaker 105 We don't believe you.

Speaker 150 You're so full of shit.

Speaker 50 His head looks like a glaze. Don't you know what you're saying?

Speaker 13 You can see by the look in his eyes, something happened.

Speaker 105 He thinks Krispy Kreme now.

Speaker 65 Jesus.

Speaker 13 Psychosexy had his way with him.

Speaker 1 No, what happened to you?

Speaker 138 Nothing sexual happened to me.

Speaker 28 Nothing, not a thing. And you know I.

Speaker 34 Why is that important? It's not.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 64 But you said it three times.

Speaker 55 So Frank agrees to come back for me.

Speaker 74 Then we didn't rape him, tie him to a ball gag, and just leave him on a sex swing.

Speaker 15 All right, so let's, I guess, unchain him.

Speaker 104 All right, who wants to attack?

Speaker 181 Roll the cannonball.

Speaker 116 37?

Speaker 144 Tuck your piece between your legs.

Speaker 25 Roll your D20 and we'll see what the object is.

Speaker 181 20!

Speaker 105 Cornaddy 20.

Speaker 35 That's funny.

Speaker 25 Those two tentacles are completely dead.

Speaker 120 Destroyed, they're gone.

Speaker 172 Wandering Baron

Speaker 171 14. What does your age say?

Speaker 172 14.

Speaker 148 Are you awake?

Speaker 139 Oh, I was just thinking, like, this could be the last D and D.

Speaker 66 This could be the last episode.

Speaker 142 I just fear

Speaker 26 the response.

Speaker 70 I don't know.

Speaker 176 You combined, like,

Speaker 156 this heaven.

Speaker 176 This was not paradoxical as it was, and you decided to go combine rock and roll all day podcast every day with D,

Speaker 56 the two shows that are like the...

Speaker 143 I thought...

Speaker 43 You joined me in the licensed Tapod graveyard at TSD now.

Speaker 35 Tapod graveyard.

Speaker 171 I thought you were going to be so on the edge of your seat waiting for the next thing to go when you were like, Kiss, my favorite thing in the world? All right, let's go.

Speaker 171 I'm going to play this game to the mess.

Speaker 149 Sorry, again, I was just thinking about what was going going to replace the show. Go ahead, Joe.
Tell me. Isn't it the paint watching pink drive podcast? Isn't it Matt?

Speaker 172 No, it's your top five light bulbs.

Speaker 137 Well, it's Cabby now.

Speaker 160 It sounds like you like better.

Speaker 149 Outs are this.

Speaker 171 I don't know how else I can engage you guys. I literally have brought back your kiss.

Speaker 143 All right.

Speaker 139 Don't go unreaded after this episode. Come back.

Speaker 166 I promise that you'll all

Speaker 37 it's not going to be good.

Speaker 173 I was going to know how Will felt.

Speaker 171 You were basking after De Will Roth.

Speaker 143 You don't even have Overkill to fall back on.

Speaker 133 And as you guys all circle around Crumpy to check,

Speaker 120 Frank the Fool accidentally steps onto his puke pie,

Speaker 133 hilariously rolls down a hill, and is lost into a ravine.

Speaker 66 There really was sex down there.

Speaker 105 They were my prisoners.

Speaker 67 I made them fuck me.

Speaker 62 What'd you have to kill them?

Speaker 52 You guys lose.

Speaker 120 They weren't stuck in here with me.

Speaker 70 I was stuck in here with them.

Speaker 120 So, Frank the Fool, as your parting words, as you're rolling down the hill, what would you like to say?

Speaker 64 Those were pupils.

Speaker 5 Sex was great.

Speaker 37 It's all about friends.

Speaker 70 It's about Patreon.

Speaker 66 Wait, it's about the dust of the journey.

Speaker 75 Always remember to rewind.

Speaker 65 A super long repeat that's falling down into it.

Speaker 35 It's comedian.

Speaker 89 Yeah, roll the D20.

Speaker 120 Let's see what you guys find.

Speaker 35 18. 18.

Speaker 7 18. That's a problem.

Speaker 111 Guys, please, I know earlier you did it too.

Speaker 72 Please don't say what the dice says. That is his job, and he winces every time I see it.

Speaker 56 He gets so upset when people yell at what the dice is because that's his.

Speaker 35 I don't know why.

Speaker 120 It's not on camera, and Victor puts the role that's on camera, so that way he knows what the role is. Yeah, but what's really he says it, you say it.

Speaker 116 It's a more uniform voice, it's OCDQ in its highest form.

Speaker 34 It's our narrator.

Speaker 38 Okay.

Speaker 5 I have so little in my life. I understand.

Speaker 35 I understand. I understand.

Speaker 5 I can't talk on TST, but this is where I can talk. You're right.
You're right.

Speaker 105 I understand. Get him.

Speaker 116 I'm sorry.

Speaker 120 I can't see what the dice is.

Speaker 5 18. Thank you.

Speaker 105 Nice. That's right.
All right.

Speaker 119 Good job.

Speaker 19 Now, there was a show called Purveyors, Posers, and Playlists that came out of the Patreon.

Speaker 17 And it was a show where Tim the record store clerk would judge our music tastes.

Speaker 19 And it was one of the more fun shows to do.

Speaker 21 And recently, someone asked me, would Purveyors, Posers, and Playlist continue on now, you know, with Tim's health issues? Right.

Speaker 19 And I said, I don't think it's possible.

Speaker 17 And I would not want to, and I don't think, out of respect, I don't think that anybody should fill the role of the record store clerk.

Speaker 21 I believe that show has to retire before it

Speaker 16 you know to bring it back I think would be disrespectful at the time.

Speaker 13 Not to mention we only know one record store clerk.

Speaker 18 Yeah, that that also plays a factor.

Speaker 63 We can get the OG jack.

Speaker 34 We could yeah

Speaker 5 can you imagine

Speaker 43 but no I don't think it's proper.

Speaker 21 I think that purveyors, posers and playlist

Speaker 17 was Tim's show and

Speaker 20 it will live on forever on the Patreon.

Speaker 21 And so, if you're if that has piqued your interest and you want to subscribe just to hear the Purveyors, Posers, and Playlist library, that alone too is just worth the subscription.

Speaker 21 Just that show alone is worth the price of admission.

Speaker 13 I think, wasn't the last one like Father Lance battling Troy and hair metal?

Speaker 8 Yeah, like that's fun.

Speaker 13 Yeah, that's fun to listen to.

Speaker 41 But this clip is when Giddam used his autism to try to

Speaker 18 gain points or sympathy from Tim.

Speaker 42 Right.

Speaker 85 And that's why Tim was so beloved in the role of the record store clerk, is he was like, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 22 Your pics suck.

Speaker 60 You lost.

Speaker 13 Yeah, he was always very honest with stuff, like even if it was an unpopular opinion.

Speaker 185 You know, the songs are stronger on Brian and Eric's side.

Speaker 139 What about the argument?

Speaker 185 The argument is stronger on Giddam and Walt's side, but for what?

Speaker 35 It's just because If you're talking about pure arguments,

Speaker 185 I am talking about the tenacity of the argument.

Speaker 13 That doesn't mean it's stronger.

Speaker 13 It means it's more intense. It doesn't mean it's stronger.

Speaker 116 Charting all over the place is

Speaker 138 hot.

Speaker 146 What do you mean, charting is insignificant?

Speaker 63 It shows that it can be marketed.

Speaker 147 That's all it shows.

Speaker 185 And then when you play the autism card,

Speaker 8 it's

Speaker 13 if you give it to them for that,

Speaker 137 I won't acknowledge it as a win.

Speaker 13 If you're like, because they told me he's autistic, with no proof, just like the 22,000 productions, I'm going to let him win, Tim, you can't do it.

Speaker 157 All your credibility will be shot at the bottom of the city.

Speaker 153 It stands like it's on IMDB.

Speaker 120 It stands up.

Speaker 139 I know you're going to feel bad, but because you feel like, but we didn't really mean to play that card to make you feel bad.

Speaker 40 Really, but you did play the card. I know, but and your intent was to make me feel bad.

Speaker 36 It was. So

Speaker 185 this was tough, but I think Brian wins.

Speaker 34 Brian, Brian wasn't playing.

Speaker 185 Brian and Eric won.

Speaker 145 Yeah, I'll accept the win.

Speaker 35 Thank you.

Speaker 25 It feels like Brian won then.

Speaker 80 It feels like Brian Spirit misspoken.

Speaker 56 He really says everything. Brian won.

Speaker 185 Well, because I have Brian written first. I have Brian and Eric and I have Walter.

Speaker 147 The only reason he's taken this long to deliberate is because you told him he had autism.

Speaker 5 Otherwise, he would have just like

Speaker 37 he would have said.

Speaker 150 And

Speaker 5 I got a stop.

Speaker 37 I can't believe it.

Speaker 13 Can I tell you a little factoid? I hope it doesn't embarrass Eric too much, but as long as we're talking about autism, when he was young, like first grade,

Speaker 13 he was diagnosed with a learning disability because he was doing poorly in school. Pam and Avery went up to the school, talked to the teacher, got him in a different program.

Speaker 141 Look at him now.

Speaker 13 So it's only because you were lazy and your parents didn't love you that

Speaker 35 you're not a doctor.

Speaker 80 That's why they gave me up.

Speaker 150 I'm adopted, by the way.

Speaker 53 Oh, really?

Speaker 35 Yes, he is, too.

Speaker 10 Shit, I never should have brought that up.

Speaker 70 You can change it.

Speaker 5 And his mom changes him.

Speaker 169 His mom tried to smother him.

Speaker 78 Yeah, but his adopted mom tried to smother me.

Speaker 13 That doesn't mean his songs defy in the 90s, though. And you know that.

Speaker 24 But I'm a

Speaker 64 little fucking monster if I don't change.

Speaker 113 A little bit, Jimmy. A little bit, Tim.
A little bit.

Speaker 28 You might change it now.

Speaker 35 No, you cannot. He's just saying that

Speaker 35 so he can win.

Speaker 1 It would be unprecedented. Yeah, but

Speaker 185 it would go against the oath that I took as a judge.

Speaker 13 I can't even imagine what Jack would think of

Speaker 63 I'm surprised you said we only had one card and you played that you played it never said we only had one no you had it seems like you had a whole deck yeah

Speaker 50 the most shitty

Speaker 13 human being now I feel like a complete piece of shit now more than usual 148

Speaker 185 I just

Speaker 140 all right Eric you're moving on how do you feel I mean I feel pretty good I am

Speaker 33 really feel good

Speaker 25 good about doing what you did here tonight?

Speaker 147 I've been an overweight autistic

Speaker 144 almost murdered adopted person.

Speaker 169 Yeah, his house just would have meant to him to run.

Speaker 13 He just went up in flames.

Speaker 137 Yeah.

Speaker 35 His house just burned down.

Speaker 150 Did I mention that to you?

Speaker 13 I didn't mention that to you because I wanted you to come correct and shit, you know.

Speaker 1 He has no possessions.

Speaker 79 What he owns is right here on his body.

Speaker 83 He could own this tonight.

Speaker 13 No, he would have nowhere to put the trophy, so don't even worry about it.

Speaker 163 I feel terrible.

Speaker 13 Hey, you know what? That's what comes along with being the judge, though.

Speaker 145 You have to make the right case.

Speaker 185 I did it on the facts.

Speaker 139 You're like you said, you're like a judge. Sometimes you feel bad for the people you convict, but you still got to convict them.

Speaker 13 You got to be Simon Cowell up in this month.

Speaker 142 He's the most hated man, right?

Speaker 7 So are you after this? Oh, yeah, I know, right?

Speaker 13 I do not want to look at the comments after this one.

Speaker 103 Who the fuck is

Speaker 6 shit, Tim?

Speaker 148 The other half of me, like I hate right said, Fred.

Speaker 41 Now, I mentioned the all-new Sunday Jeff show

Speaker 45 as being one of the two jewels in the TSD Patreon crown.

Speaker 16 It's the longest-running Patreon show.

Speaker 59 It started right out of the gate.

Speaker 14 We did the all-new Sunday Jeff show.

Speaker 58 It's got to be over.

Speaker 13 I remember your pitch was, I want to give a talk show to a guy who least deserves a talk show.

Speaker 67 I was like, that sounds pretty good.

Speaker 98 He's kind of grown into the hosting role, though, I believe.

Speaker 19 He's much more polished now.

Speaker 29 He's much more natural.

Speaker 17 But here are some all-new Sunday Jeff Show clips.

Speaker 21 And if you're not on the Patreon, I do believe that the all-new Sunday Jeff Show is worth the $5 tier alone.

Speaker 40 If you're just getting that, it would be worth your subscription.

Speaker 30 Right.

Speaker 3 You're getting so much more than that.

Speaker 13 This, along with Behind the Fit Counter, are my two favorite shows that we do. I really like the all-new Sunday Jeff Show.
It's always fun.

Speaker 79 All right, Kenneth, we're going to let you lead off the 70s since this is your first decade that you're able to partake in.

Speaker 43 70s, I'm going to say Star Wars.

Speaker 8 Oh, Sunday's the piss.

Speaker 109 Sunday's

Speaker 55 on Sunday show. You took Star Wars.

Speaker 112 That's right.

Speaker 55 You fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 67 He's the star of the show.

Speaker 71 I have water.

Speaker 137 Then he should have gone first.

Speaker 13 He's going to have to go Battle Star Galactica or Logan's Run.

Speaker 120 We've gone two decades and he hasn't gone first, even though he's the star of the show.

Speaker 125 There's other films. There's other films.

Speaker 120 Why can't we pick the same film?

Speaker 34 I I could.

Speaker 66 Because

Speaker 129 it doesn't spark any conversation to keep saying the same fucking movie four times over.

Speaker 186 But I love Star Wars. We all say Star Wars.

Speaker 128 Yeah, right, we all say Star Wars.

Speaker 125 Star Wars is definitely the 70s of the

Speaker 80 decade.

Speaker 71 What's wrong with you, though?

Speaker 43 You know, he's going to say Star Wars.

Speaker 125 I'm going to say something different now.

Speaker 25 You literally couldn't.

Speaker 128 I'm going to throw it all off. I didn't like Star Wars.
This whole time has been bullshit.

Speaker 101 But you know, you're lying there.

Speaker 125 All right, so I'll say maybe my second movie, the 70s?

Speaker 52 No, what was it? Nobody will hear this.

Speaker 125 It would be Jaws.

Speaker 65 Did I just say that?

Speaker 126 You son of a bitch.

Speaker 66 Oh, so now I said his.

Speaker 80 Son of a bitch.

Speaker 104 Yo, he is a star in the 70s.

Speaker 113 Is that a starter movie?

Speaker 95 Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another visit from the Duke of Devilish Doings, the Baron of Black Arts, the Count of Conjurers, and the Marquis of Mumbo Jumbo, as well as Mike Zapsik's personal stylist, Sundak the flamboyant.

Speaker 55 I don't know why that's funny, but it just is.

Speaker 13 I was looking at her thinking the same thing, and then I was like, no, I like it.

Speaker 124 I don't know why I like it.

Speaker 95 Welcome, oh, marble mouth mage.

Speaker 125 Thank you. Thank you, Giddam.
May the old goat who made out with the regular goat after the Super Bowl be caught spraying his batch of craft miracle whip on the face of a human trafficking.

Speaker 104 Oh, Sundack.

Speaker 112 Timely Sundack.

Speaker 95 You say what everyone is thinking.

Speaker 95 I hold in my hand envelopes. These envelopes have been stored undisturbed since 1994 in the Flanagan family spice rack.

Speaker 95 Are you ready for the first envelope?

Speaker 34 Yes.

Speaker 125 I need absolute science.

Speaker 125 I need absolute science. I said science.

Speaker 143 I mean silence.

Speaker 125 How about both? Silence, I said. Yes, this is science and science.

Speaker 150 Was that written?

Speaker 56 Did you write that?

Speaker 19 Silence? A science instead of silence?

Speaker 146 No, it's a silence.

Speaker 145 No, no.

Speaker 13 I need absolute silence was perverted into I need absolutely science.

Speaker 125 I'm going to need science for this. I need absolutely silence.

Speaker 13 Sunday incomprehensible.

Speaker 120 He's been blinded by science, so he needs silence.

Speaker 125 It's very difficult to see with these gold beads in front of my face. I need absolute silence.

Speaker 118 So are you saying the balls are obstructing your vision?

Speaker 125 Yes, they are obstructing my vision.

Speaker 147 The balls are obstructing his vision.

Speaker 125 The brass balls are obstructing my vision.

Speaker 95 Sundak, the first envelope.

Speaker 109 Thank you.

Speaker 125 Is he strandlined?

Speaker 79 Is he strandling? Is he stradlin'?

Speaker 13 Is he strandlined?

Speaker 125 The question Debbie Chen already knows the answer to when Ming is hanging out with Mike.

Speaker 65 Wow.

Speaker 95 Mike and Ming are certainly taking on the Chin tonight, aren't they, Sundak?

Speaker 125 I understand that Ming's cousin, Chin, took on Mike last night, and now Ming's jealous.

Speaker 65 Wow.

Speaker 95 Lemony Snicket himself couldn't conceive of a more unfortunate series of events.

Speaker 95 Sundack, the second envelope I will hand to you with my hand.

Speaker 125 Thank you.

Speaker 125 Well, let me tell what it is first:

Speaker 125 home address.

Speaker 54 Home address. Home address.

Speaker 125 Where Ming hasn't been in the past month and what he wore for Mike on their anniversary.

Speaker 65 Jeez.

Speaker 109 Whoa.

Speaker 52 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 124 My God.

Speaker 125 May an overly hydrated R. Kelly happen upon your young daughter.

Speaker 75 Oh!

Speaker 121 Now that's timely.

Speaker 95 And now it's with a very heavy heart that I must announce this final envelope you will be divining tonight or any other night.

Speaker 126 Whoa, what?

Speaker 79 This is the final Sunduck?

Speaker 124 You're retiring, Sundack?

Speaker 13 I guess so.

Speaker 96 I mean,

Speaker 46 I'm coming on the heels of the jokes.

Speaker 59 I mean, you may have been forced into retirement, so maybe it's better to go in.

Speaker 13 Well, the guttin's good.

Speaker 109 Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 125 After the curtain falls, one last time, I'm hanging up my turban.

Speaker 13 Why? Thank you for your service,

Speaker 23 Sunduck.

Speaker 95 I heard that you're you're retiring to pursue a life of sailing around the world, painting sunsets. Sounds like a dream.

Speaker 125 I have inoperable brain cancer and only three months to live at most.

Speaker 113 Wow.

Speaker 109 Hush, puppy. Ooh.

Speaker 13 Hush puppy.

Speaker 109 Hush puppy.

Speaker 95 Here, Jeff, let me hand you the envelope so that you can hold it to your head and divine the answer.

Speaker 13 He's going out at the top of his game. It's from across the room.

Speaker 48 Hush, puppy. Hush, puppy.

Speaker 78 Hush puppy.

Speaker 13 Hush puppy. Poor Sundack's final envelope.

Speaker 13 What a moment this is.

Speaker 1 Let's treasure this.

Speaker 65 This last

Speaker 89 degree. Luckily we have it on video.

Speaker 13 Let's treasure your line as you're as you're

Speaker 13 as you're supposed to be reading as you're opening that.

Speaker 143 Forgot it.

Speaker 81 All right. Okay.

Speaker 52 Hush puppy. Hush puppy.

Speaker 125 The command Ming gives his dog when sneaking Mike out of the house at 3 a.m.

Speaker 64 Ladies and gentlemen, Sundack, the flamboyant.

Speaker 86 Top 10 list.

Speaker 186 Is it top 10 list?

Speaker 79 It's a top 10 list, but it's the top 10 best

Speaker 139 come-on lines that feature food.

Speaker 172 Oh.

Speaker 72 So picture Sunday Jeff in the club.

Speaker 186 He's up in the club.

Speaker 72 He sees a hottie.

Speaker 52 Oh, and he makes it.

Speaker 186 He dances up to her.

Speaker 170 And these are the top 10 lines that include food in the line.

Speaker 109 All right.

Speaker 100 Okay, so go. You ready? Right?

Speaker 80 All right. The middle line.

Speaker 143 Okay.

Speaker 10 This is number 10. Number 10.
Number 10.

Speaker 13 Girl, you must say it can't even go.

Speaker 89 Can't even do it.

Speaker 126 One word.

Speaker 109 One word.

Speaker 95 This is why this isn't your wingman.

Speaker 91 This is because the way you said it was perfect.

Speaker 100 I didn't mean to laugh over that.

Speaker 13 That's exactly what he wants you to say. That's exactly.

Speaker 125 That's why he's laughing. If I said it any different, it would be in trouble.
He'd be like, what the hell's the matter with you?

Speaker 95 No,

Speaker 95 that was a confident delivery.

Speaker 125 It's like, all right, number 10, girl, you must work at a subway because you're giving me a foot long.

Speaker 1 Jeff, you will play the role of Sunday Jeffrey Dahmer.

Speaker 43 You are playing, you are in a gay club because that's where Jeffrey Dahmer,

Speaker 22 that's where he perused and got all his victims.

Speaker 43 Your wingman is the notorious killer GTK. And you are in a a competition to see which serial killer has the better luring technique.

Speaker 21 So the setting is in the late 80s at a gay club, as I said before.

Speaker 79 Both of you are trying best to lure a hot young dancer back to your place to murder them.

Speaker 169 Oh, well, hello, boss.

Speaker 37 Oh, shit, man.

Speaker 141 Where were you in the 80s?

Speaker 147 Well, hey, Salor, you know, that shirt looks a little tight, like a noose around your neck.

Speaker 80 You should open it up a little, you know, display that meat.

Speaker 35 You don't have a girlfriend, right?

Speaker 35 You don't have a girlfriend?

Speaker 70 I should walk out the door and

Speaker 125 change my mind.

Speaker 50 Maybe I shouldn't be a serial killer anymore.

Speaker 13 I had to give him a one for death because it seems imminent.

Speaker 186 Come on, we're gonna go. Why don't you whip out some of that tit meat?

Speaker 14 How are you digging this music?

Speaker 163 I like this culture club.

Speaker 35 Ooh, what a nice little hairy chest there.

Speaker 120 You know, you should take a nice little razor to it, you know, smooth it up.

Speaker 72 Do either of your hunks want to buy me a drink?

Speaker 141 Sure.

Speaker 125 Sex on the beach?

Speaker 149 It's to die for.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 35 nice one. Hey,

Speaker 116 me, I prefer a slow, comfortable screw.

Speaker 80 You ever have one?

Speaker 50 Let me get you a drink.

Speaker 125 I'll be back.

Speaker 159 Oh, my God.

Speaker 105 Well done.

Speaker 137 Oh, my God.

Speaker 66 You have a roll, Sunday. Don't stop now.

Speaker 13 Wow, look at that.

Speaker 13 I'll continue tonight at the the real bar.

Speaker 147 Wow, you open up that shirt a little more. You're really cut.

Speaker 120 I mean, I can do some cocaine off those abs of yours.

Speaker 131 Would any of your hunks like to buy Chad a drink?

Speaker 148 Chad?

Speaker 131 I'm a foreign exchange student, don't you know?

Speaker 120 Oh, so nobody knows you're in America?

Speaker 24 You gotta give him that one.

Speaker 50 That was one that he may have used at one point.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 35 Like, maybe even last night.

Speaker 186 I didn't see him go home.

Speaker 161 Um,

Speaker 169 yeah,

Speaker 31 I am a foreign exchange student.

Speaker 131 I'm coming to America like Freddie Murphy.

Speaker 129 Oh, here's your drink, sir.

Speaker 125 Chad, how you doing? Oh, hold on a second.

Speaker 177 My favorite Prince song's on.

Speaker 171 I would die for you.

Speaker 108 Ooh, ooh.

Speaker 149 Well done, Sunday.

Speaker 147 Oh, please, I tumble for you.

Speaker 37 That's not a

Speaker 144 I'll die for you.

Speaker 50 Let me just suck his neck.

Speaker 149 What are you doing?

Speaker 149 Which one are you?

Speaker 37 You really belong in the club.

Speaker 13 Yeah, that G doesn't stand forget him.

Speaker 156 O la saul.

Speaker 141 I feel like you're going to win.

Speaker 72 Let's put some ambiance.

Speaker 11 Maybe, you know, think about it.

Speaker 108 Like, yeah,

Speaker 178 there you go.

Speaker 106 You got your saddle up,

Speaker 100 do a honey on the mar, and you deliver line number nine.

Speaker 46 He's just like dancing.

Speaker 125 He's like,

Speaker 90 baby, do you sell hot dogs?

Speaker 125 Because you know how to make a weener stand.

Speaker 13 I know I'm going to want to hear all 10 delivered in rapid fire to the same woman before she can get away.

Speaker 183 All right, so we're going to first play a game called Heard Around the Yard.

Speaker 182 Players are given a prison slang term.

Speaker 26 If not guessed correctly, Walt will use it in a sentence.

Speaker 20 There is a whole different world in prison.

Speaker 16 Can you believe they gave my ass the big bitch just for killing that clerk?

Speaker 24 Perfect.

Speaker 71 Dante?

Speaker 5 Nooch.

Speaker 118 Oh, so.

Speaker 156 I'm not supposed to be here today, motherfucker.

Speaker 148 Yo, motherfucker, watch you walking.

Speaker 71 You almost stepped in my Kung Fu Joe's, son.

Speaker 71 Fucking kill you.

Speaker 119 Fuck off, Dante.

Speaker 112 Can you believe they're going to send my ass to the dingwing just because I'm seeing pink elephants and little gremlins?

Speaker 34 Motherfucker?

Speaker 13 Your guy is always on edge, isn't it?

Speaker 13 Regardless of the situation.

Speaker 5 Every time we play one of these games, motherfucker comes out every time.

Speaker 118 He's a seat so rarely.

Speaker 23 It's the same voice, though, every time.

Speaker 9 No matter who it is.

Speaker 118 It's the same fucking voice.

Speaker 5 Every time.

Speaker 51 It doesn't matter who he's playing as.

Speaker 9 Tough guy's voice.

Speaker 27 It's always the same type.

Speaker 118 Same exact thing.

Speaker 48 It's like one straight voice.

Speaker 171 I'm not like you.

Speaker 109 I don't have a million voices in the top.

Speaker 88 Motherfucker.

Speaker 26 Your motherfucker is like Ed Norton playing Swanny Rivers

Speaker 120 before he plays every song.

Speaker 65 Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

Speaker 5 Motherfucker!

Speaker 9 It's how he gets in a character.

Speaker 35 That's how he prepares himself every time.

Speaker 113 This famous person said, motherfucker.

Speaker 5 Hold on, hold on, on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,

Speaker 186 hey, sexy.

Speaker 89 Look at the camera.

Speaker 168 You're very aggressive.

Speaker 13 He's like, hey, Sexy, do you like Pizza Hut?

Speaker 125 Because I'd like to stuff your crust.

Speaker 113 What is that going to mean?

Speaker 73 Damn.

Speaker 52 It doesn't have to mean anything.

Speaker 125 Crust, the crust of the pizza.

Speaker 89 You never heard of a Pizza Hut had that story?

Speaker 13 I have heard of that, but what is the equivalent of a woman's crust?

Speaker 95 They are getting lost in his bedroom on the floor.

Speaker 124 The whole part of the Mahdi is the crust.

Speaker 100 We might have to stop down here for a second.

Speaker 187 I hunger for fear. This planet will have to suffice for now.
Set course for the planet, morons. Wait, is that planet comma morons?

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 13 I hunger for fear. This planet will have to suffice for now.

Speaker 187 Set course for the planet, morons. I'll be in my chambers.

Speaker 187 Master sounded displeased with us. Indeed, why don't you please the master while I set course for the planet and line the ship?

Speaker 187 Fuck that. I don't like how master looks at me and that laugh after he's done.

Speaker 187 It is your turn after all. I pleased master the last time.
Are you inferring that the master gets

Speaker 187 by the alien straight-up side? He's just saying

Speaker 187 at first I thought it was like a funny like phrasing that he didn't intend, but then as it goes on to see how each of them are victimized Weinstein style, kind of Sunday.

Speaker 187 Like, where's the potted plant? Dude, what has happened to you?

Speaker 128 Look at the camera. Remember, number six.

Speaker 52 It's hard to look at.

Speaker 13 You're talking to all the 13 percenters out there. You're trying to, you're trying to woo them.

Speaker 168 I don't know if that's a legal fucking Dr.

Speaker 179 Evil.

Speaker 52 That's this.

Speaker 109 It's a different finger.

Speaker 118 One million dollars.

Speaker 125 He's like, damn. Did you sit in Sugar Girl? Because you got a sweet ass.

Speaker 187 Yes, master.

Speaker 187 What are you looking at? You want seconds? No, Master.

Speaker 187 Carry on, then, bitch.

Speaker 187 I never would have dreamed. Are you laughing? Are you laughing?

Speaker 187 You want to get raped together?

Speaker 187 That's right. You want to get really weird.
It would not occur to me to write something like that. I mean, like, you want another black eye to do the dishes.

Speaker 187 I got to throw in something in there. Yeah,

Speaker 187 why not a sexual assault? It doesn't have to be multiple rapes. Why not? Domestic abuse.
You know, like I figured, like, in aliens in space, no one can hear you scream.

Speaker 187 Well, you know, here, this, anything goes.

Speaker 187 No one can hear you report a sexual assault to the police.

Speaker 187 Well, the only one to report it to is the master, so

Speaker 187 wow. Yeah, I happen to be the police sergeant as well.

Speaker 125 Do you like Wendy's? Because I bet you're going to like Wendy's ball slap on your chin.

Speaker 93 I would have said it differently. Say Wendy's ball slap on your chin.

Speaker 13 I'm sorry, in the history of that line.

Speaker 89 That was the best look.

Speaker 13 At that minimum, that line resulted in a file being like a report being filed.

Speaker 183 All right, get him. You got one minute.

Speaker 182 So you're going to come up to us.

Speaker 116 Hey, Shankin.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 134 like you're walking up first day in the yard.

Speaker 183 You want to join our gang.

Speaker 24 All right, go.

Speaker 74 Yo, guys, yo, yo, yo, step back, bitch.

Speaker 120 Yo, sorry, no one got on your Kung Fu Joes.

Speaker 152 Look at this duck dynasty motherfucker.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 71 You little meth mouth.

Speaker 109 What's up?

Speaker 109 What the fuck is that?

Speaker 65 That's going to be easy to get burned.

Speaker 64 Yo, it's going to slide right in there.

Speaker 109 It ain't. Trust me, it ain't.

Speaker 118 It's going to get snagged

Speaker 118 on these snags.

Speaker 148 What you want, Holmes?

Speaker 121 I want to join up with you.

Speaker 116 I'm in here for a day and a night.

Speaker 150 He's profiting.

Speaker 95 I'm in here for a day and a night, and I got my girls out there with the Jody,

Speaker 158 and I need someone who can get you.

Speaker 184 Do you want us to kill your Jody?

Speaker 118 Look, if you can get him slopped outside, I'll just go out the wall,

Speaker 121 I'd be down for it. I'm a man who can do many things.

Speaker 133 How can you pay us?

Speaker 1 What could you do? What could you supply us?

Speaker 118 I pay you an intellect.

Speaker 102 That's it?

Speaker 50 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 26 All right, pay us your intellect.

Speaker 36 I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 5 I know how to pay stinger.

Speaker 78 Last question.

Speaker 172 What's your prison gag name?

Speaker 26 What? Yeah, what's your prison gag name?

Speaker 64 Go to prison.

Speaker 120 What's your nickname? What's your nickname going to be?

Speaker 38 148.

Speaker 178 That's also my crime.

Speaker 52 It's like murder, death kill.

Speaker 125 All right, let's try number three.

Speaker 125 Your legs are like peanut butter, girl. girl.
Smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

Speaker 115 Well, thankfully, he didn't say chunky.

Speaker 123 Yeah,

Speaker 126 easy to spread.

Speaker 13 But you're already, so your pickup line is: I know you're a whore,

Speaker 13 and I'm going to liken you to peanut butter.

Speaker 79 Did I say Jeff? Oh, it's Jeff.

Speaker 89 Sorry, Jeff.

Speaker 124 Dude, that's your favorite. Oh, dude, that's there.

Speaker 125 That's my calling. Here comes Jiff.

Speaker 168 What'd you put peanut butter on your balls for your dog?

Speaker 93 Just a peanut butter.

Speaker 54 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 125 Come in like just...

Speaker 13 Because I turn hose.

Speaker 187 Okay, now he obviously the other aliens coming in from pleasing the master.

Speaker 187 He comes into scene wiping his mouth.

Speaker 187 What the fuck? Blowjobs.

Speaker 187 I understand. That's like a real dark, sinister scientist.
It's a dark, sinister person.

Speaker 187 Who are the aliens?

Speaker 187 Who did you think of? Who were your main? Well, again,

Speaker 187 just say it. You know who it is.
That's not true. You know they're not.
Don't say Mike and Ming.

Speaker 187 They picked on the voices.

Speaker 187 I did not say Mike and Ming. You did.
So wait, what kind of double are you talking about?

Speaker 188 I hope Master is happy now.

Speaker 187 You want it you came to me were like hey I want to do a Hanukkah special

Speaker 187 You never you neglected to say they were like yeah and i got this real like great idea about like how we're gonna have a whole bunch of fucking sexual

Speaker 187 i was inspired while watching death wish to write this hanukk

Speaker 187 you know

Speaker 187 i thought there was a lot of chances on the island abyss of a toy it's really good that you'll be making each other

Speaker 187 that's what i wanted to do herbie never walked around with his mouth you know he's like i feel like there's a reason he took the bumble's teeth out, and I know what it is.

Speaker 187 Plus, never got serviced by the elves. Never know.

Speaker 187 Ho, ho, ho.

Speaker 187 He's like, imagine if You're Without a Santa Claus met. Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 187 50 Shades of Gray. Irreversible, because I think they pussied out with only two rapes in that movie.
Or Requiem from a Dream. Yeah.
Clockwork Orange. Ass to Ass Master.

Speaker 31 It appears that is the end of the clips.

Speaker 18 The episode has come to an end.

Speaker 13 That's it. Hope you liked it.

Speaker 13 And hope it drives you over to Patreon.

Speaker 18 That's really what this whole episode was about, was trying to drive the numbers up.

Speaker 83 If you're on the fence or you maybe you haven't been a member in a couple of years, I see when I look at some people, you know,

Speaker 18 when I'm looking for contestants, that's another thing we do on the Patreon, is always looking for contestants to be represented in games

Speaker 30 to win sweet prizes.

Speaker 19 But I'll see a lot of of people who haven't been a member since 2023 or 2022.

Speaker 18 So at one time, they thought it was good enough.

Speaker 16 They thought it was worth it. They thought it was worth it.

Speaker 13 And I mean, it's a lot of material that comes out.

Speaker 8 It basically

Speaker 58 is, it's like Netflix now.

Speaker 19 It's a Netflix library.

Speaker 32 It's got, from 2018 to now,

Speaker 21 there's at least 52 entries added every year, but there's more than 52 because there's some weeks where more than one show is added.

Speaker 13 Safe to say there's over 300 shows in the library at this point.

Speaker 92 And you can sample it all for five bucks a month.

Speaker 13 Almost as cheap as a cup of coffee.

Speaker 58 So where do you go for to sign up for that Patreon, Bri?

Speaker 13 You can go to patreon.com slash telemsteve dave or patreon.com slash t-e-s-d. I think we have that vanity URL.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 13 sign up. Like Walt said, it's $5.
You know, if it's for you, it's for you. You give it a try.
If it's not for you, understandable.

Speaker 35 But I don't think that's going to to happen.

Speaker 25 Well, if you're listening to this, how is it not for you?

Speaker 128 It has to be for you.

Speaker 58 Yeah, if you're listening to this episode and you got to the end, because I'm sure some people are like, I already heard all these clips.

Speaker 8 It was a skip episode.

Speaker 56 But if you've made it to the end and you are not on a Patreon, I don't know if this may be it.

Speaker 19 This is the last gasp.

Speaker 15 This is the Hail Mary of Hail Marys.

Speaker 21 If this episode hasn't convinced you, but then again, I don't know.

Speaker 16 I'm a little suspect of Curator's clips. I'll always blame him then.

Speaker 40 If it doesn't move the needle, we don't get more subscribers.

Speaker 20 I'm going to blame Curator.

Speaker 13 That Brian Tries theme song, that could have been the lynchpin that fucked it all up.

Speaker 29 Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 129 Yo, J-Sodes got me a beat, son!

Speaker 189 Hey there, ain't across every nation. Get him C Dev here with some information.
Y'all know my IQ may be 148, but this tale even Reddit can't debate.

Speaker 189 So listen good and listen well to the drunk story I'm about to tell. One day at the stash, Sunday said, I feel so sexy like Rott Sam Fred.
Then he clapped his hands and slid his hips.

Speaker 189 I never thought Jeff could move like this. If Walk comes in, there might be trouble.
Nah, no way it's just a Sunday Jeff shuffle.

Speaker 189 I said it's a Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 178 Dance through the wild dances ignite the town. It even burned a mini guy close to the ground.
If this is bad, I wanna be wrong.

Speaker 54 Make your feet flutter to the spunky song.

Speaker 188 It's a group of dance that you're really big. You won't have to be intimate with a thing.

Speaker 188 Actually, this and actually that. The Sunday Jeff Shuffle is very tough.

Speaker 187 It's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 13 My name's Brian, I came to the stash to bust some balls and kick some ass. I saw these fools starting to dance and sting.
I thought for sure it had to be Mike and me.

Speaker 48 The way he was moving, I do declare.

Speaker 13 He almost made my diggies tear. With a slide to the left and a slide to the right, this Jewish white boy was out of sight.
I swallowed my pride and I joined my crew.

Speaker 92 Started getting down with this groovy Hebrew.

Speaker 109 I may have come here for a verbal tussle, but now I'm not card for the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 35 Shuffle.

Speaker 13 I said it's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 91 Rolled up to the station, heard a sound.

Speaker 18 So Funky Groove was shaking the ground.

Speaker 72 148 said, oh, hey, there's Walt.

Speaker 79 Please don't fire me, it's not my fault.

Speaker 1 Now I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but why isn't anyone doing any work?

Speaker 18 If you're gonna goof off, let's play a game.

Speaker 68 One that will mystify every ant's brain.

Speaker 11 What's on the menu? One, two, three.

Speaker 18 Then Southeff shuffled up to me.

Speaker 122 My feathers weren't out of place or even ruffled.

Speaker 18 We all clocked out for the Sunday Jeff shuffle.

Speaker 11 It's the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 72 Ants little wild ants are sit down in the town.

Speaker 70 If you've been burning me, they got close to the ground. I'm S-U-N-D-A-Y, J-E-F-F, I'll tell you no lie.

Speaker 188 If I've got you feeling low, there's only one dance you'll need to know. So clap your hands and flex a muscle.
Every hand, do the Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 72 It's Sunday Jeff Shuffle.

Speaker 187 That was a train rock.

Speaker 54 And the number one

Speaker 125 best food related pickup line.

Speaker 52 Of all time.

Speaker 79 All time.

Speaker 43 This is the one I'm making in the guys out there. This is just not for the ladies.

Speaker 49 They could use this, right?

Speaker 52 Yeah, this one's a good one.

Speaker 125 Girl, I'm going to make you a breakfast omelette, as in, I'm let you suck in this dick.

Speaker 125 The number one one I messed up.

Speaker 72 I wanted to get it so right, too.

Speaker 89 All right, I tried it. Didn't we all?

Speaker 125 Girl, I'm gonna make you breakfast.

Speaker 109 Oh my god.

Speaker 93 I'll be right back.

Speaker 63 You ever see the episode of Only Sunny when they're trying to hit on the girls?

Speaker 168 Yeah, I'll be right back.

Speaker 60 Blow the whistle like Frank blows the whistle.

Speaker 125 I'm getting it. Girl, I'm going to make you a breakfast omelette, as in, I'm letting you suck this dick.

Speaker 13 I'm going to let you suck this dick.

Speaker 124 There we go.

Speaker 65 There you go.

Speaker 65 Nice work.

Speaker 65 All right.

Speaker 168 That's a long top ten.

Speaker 13 I remember what Letterman did it. It took about as long.

Speaker 125 At least he had some pencils to throw.