#637: Heart of Dixon

Why are you thinking about me on Prime Knight?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

So, the one-armed man won the butter contest.

Butter

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave, which Walt may be one of the shortest editions ever.

I am feeling like shit, but I came anyway.

Really, why?

I don't know.

I got a really bad headache and my stomach.

I'm getting like stomach cramps and nausea and shit like that.

Oh, shit.

Don't have COVID.

No, I don't want any COVID.

I took stuff.

Yeah, take more.

No, I took enough stuff.

Oh, you should have.

Yeah, we could have called it a.

I know, but I like to keep regular.

Like, if I don't have something to do at least once a week,

I start to go a little crazy.

So hopefully I don't projectile vomit all over the good enough Sunday Jeff to come visit us.

Thank you, Sunday.

Yeah, no problem.

My pleasure.

We got a Q in a far-off land.

I don't know where he went, but we are going to try to call him.

I don't know if it's going to work.

Let's give him a call.

Everyone's going to need headphones.

Yeah, if he picks up.

I don't hear him.

Please leave your message for

must be three in the morning over there.

Yep, right to voicemail.

All right, so we're not going to talk to Q.

No headphones necessary.

Oh, boy.

I texted him ahead of time, but I guess

he's doing something.

He's doing some kind of acting role.

That's how much I'll say.

Secret.

I don't know.

He didn't say it was secret, but he didn't say it wasn't secret.

So I'd rather not expose any of it.

We'll see.

I went to Vegas.

Ah, my kind of town.

I wish I was more of a guy that could come back with stories of like, you're not going to believe this shit.

Instead of like...

Well, you got to make your stories.

You can't sit on it.

Try.

Waiting for those stories to happen.

I look for trouble.

Yeah, you got to get up on the top of the tallest building and screen that you're going to jump or something and just for content.

I think you might be right to tell you the truth because

nothing else was happening.

He really did jump.

Yeah.

He jumped after all for content.

He did it for content.

The most exciting thing happened, and I wasn't even there yet.

There was the whole problem with

United Airlines, right?

Newark Airport and all this shit.

They're losing contact on radar, and

the airport is packed.

Dude, I'm going to tell you right now, I think Nork went to shit the very first fucking day that you stopped working there, Jeff.

I had nothing to do with traffic control.

But if you were working there, I know that shit would be

up to snuff a lot of times.

A lot of systems, yeah, it would be tight, like a fucking bow tie.

I mean, it's such a busy airport now.

A lot of the stuff's outdated, I'm sure.

And they're shorthanded in air traffic controllers.

Would you?

I wanted to be air traffic control before all that stuff I used to

handle the high pressure and the

anxiety and the and the

absolute like you can't fuck up

well I mean you can make mistakes you just got to fix them real quick that's all

I mean there's plenty of that kind of stuff that happens I mean you know but they were saying that like when the

When the radar went dark,

people let like some air traffic controllers left because of trauma leave because they were so

strewed up by the ship.

I think in some real short shifts they work too.

I mean, it's like 20 minutes and then they're

a break and then they because you're just eyes, you're just looking at something.

Sounds like the job for me.

You know,

you're looking at so much.

I don't know if that's it.

They don't work like long periods of time because they're constantly looking at monitors all the time.

And you got to be kind of like.

You know, Giddam, I don't think, has left.

He's had a 48-plus-hour shift, right?

You haven't gone home yet.

So he's like that, he's putting those fucking

flight of what are they called?

Those air traffic controls.

Air traffic controllers.

It's a shame.

They should look at him and be like, damn.

Yeah, I mean.

How do you put in 48 hours straight?

If you were flying, would you want him?

Would you want Genham to be air traffic controller?

This guy like 0265, heavy, what's going on up there?

Like,

how you stinking?

Is that what you want?

I don't think that's what.

I want just Deep Space Nine.

I don't get Deep Space Nine on this monitor.

Yeah, it's a tough job.

I'm, you know, special person that do that kind of stuff.

Turned out, though, it was maybe one of the best experiences I've ever had in an airport.

There was two people ahead of us in security.

Right to the flight.

The flight was on time.

We got there an hour early.

Yeah, see, so what's the problem?

And then on the way back, same deal.

We got in like 20 minutes early, but like no wait at the airport, nothing.

Like when we got into Newark, it was fine.

So I don't know if it's overblown or it was just those moments or what was going on.

The last couple times that I flew out of Newark, everything was fine.

I flew JetBlue, I flew Spirit, and I flew United, and you know, all of them left, departed.

I tell you, what's it's I don't know what time you left.

What time did you leave?

Uh, well, I left

what time was it, nine.

I think nine in the morning we left.

What day was it on

it was on a Thursday.

I left on a Sunday, and I tell you, if I tell you the security.

Do you only fly in Sundays because of your Sunday, Jeff?

They only allow.

It's just that you like me.

Well, it since your name is Sunday.

A lot of times the flights can be cheaper depending on what time you leave, like what day you come back.

Yeah, they let me go in.

It's like, oh, they just pull the rope out.

You don't even have to go to security.

But

the security there, it was so busy that they stopped you going up the escalators.

Did you fly United?

Yeah.

United only has the one area where you got to go up in Terminal C.

And it's just like, oh, I thought I was going to miss the flight.

I mean, they stopped.

I was waiting in zigzags down at the concourse level before I even went up the escalators.

And then you had the zigzag up there.

I'm like, I go up to the guy.

He's like, man, I got to rebook my flight.

I was like, he's like, what time's your flight?

It's like, it's like 7.30, 8 o'clock.

It's like, oh, you make it.

I was like, really?

He was right, though.

I didn't make the flight.

Yeah, we did get through security, but man, it was, that's why I like flying out of JFK sometimes better.

They have the dogs, so you don't have to take your shoes off.

You just walk down, the dog sniffs you, and that's it.

You don't even have to take your shoes off.

Oh, you don't have pre-check?

That slows everything.

No, I didn't have pre-check.

I want to get Teddy a job at the airport sniffing people.

It's pretty good out of the second I came in.

He started sniffing me.

Why didn't you sniff me right now?

Now, I don't know if you can find drugs, but you know.

He will sniff you up and down, though.

You know, giving you the ones over.

Then everybody's

back and forth.

Just drugs or are they looking for guns?

i think what they're they're trained i guess to look for bombs and shit i mean like gunpowder smelling shit yeah i'm sure they're trained to do a lot of different stuff when i was i rarely see them though i don't see dogs in airports i work in the airport though when i was when i would go in our break room was in when i was working for sas

and uh the international terminal for me to go to the break room you could see like where they were bringing the baggage up and they would have customs and they have the dog actually walk on the belt smelling each bag it's going up the conveyor belt yeah so they're

they're on the ball, I guess.

I just saw a girl, a young girl, like in her early 20s that got busted for traffic in drugs, I think, over in Thailand.

It's like one of those things, like

anymore, like, yeah, unless you're forced into it.

Yeah, in this day and age, how do you think even like, do you think they're going to check my suitcase going on this flight?

You're out of your mind.

They check everything.

Did you see that guy?

He had a bunch of little pellets of coke sewed into his

into his

what's it called?

His hair piece, you know, the toupee.

The toupee.

Yeah, they found it.

Yeah, I guess it just looked a little bit weird.

He looked a little bit bumpy.

That's crazy.

Like, you're gonna have balls and be like, nah, you know what?

Let me just, let me just tie the drugs in my head.

They'll never know.

Yeah, well, you can't put them under a hat because they make you take that off, but a toupee.

I don't think there's any

FAA rules against wearing a toupee.

Yeah.

It was good, though.

I had a good time over there.

Yeah, well,

the main action happened before I got there.

We were going there for a dual purpose.

We were going there for a podcast festival and to visit her parents

who live in Vegas.

And before I even got to the podcast festival, I saw a video of one of the attendees was arguing with another attendee.

And the first attendee was being accused of being a troll.

That's where it started out.

Right out the gate.

Right out of the gate, yeah.

She's like, it's a woman talking to a guy, you know, a woman who's, looks like she's in her 50s, which was surprising that

she then did this.

Talking to a guy, like maybe in his 30s, and they're going back and forth about,

she thinks that he's not only not only is he trolling her, but he has like three other accounts that are also trolling her.

So like he won't leave her alone.

So she's very serious in this video where like, you know, he's he's taking the video.

And for some reason, she was like, you know, I have a concealed carry, right?

And he says, no.

She's saying I got a gun.

She's saying, I have a gun on me in a casino.

She's in the casino where this is happening.

And, like, this makes the whole event sound so ghetto that, like, this is the kind of, like, this is the only thing that happened the entire weekend that would be

considered out of ordinary.

I guess so, but I don't know.

I don't think you're allowed to carry in casinos.

Well, I know you definitely can't go down Fremont Street anymore.

They put all that security now.

You got to go through metal detectors after a certain hour.

But I mean, I've been there multiple times.

I haven't seen anybody open where I see it.

Like when I was in Carolina, I see people riding bike, you know, that are riding motorcycles.

You see the holster on the side

driving down the highway.

It's like, it's like Mad Max Times.

Yeah, so that so that was the

big thing that happened on Thursday.

We got in Thursday night, or Thursday late early afternoon.

And we, I got to say, like, the

the podcast fest was very smooth.

You know, it was a long day.

It was a long day.

Yeah, no hitches after that.

Long day, but there was a butter-eating contest that Mary Beth joined.

Butter?

Yeah, like a stick of butter, which I thought was disgusting.

It was, it's just like, it's.

What do you win, though?

You would have won $250 if you could eat a stick of butter before everybody else.

And there were probably

maybe one, two females and maybe four males in it.

Do you like butter, son?

Not a stick of it.

Butter makes everything but mashed potatoes.

It doesn't make that.

It makes everything just like greasy.

Yeah, a normal dose.

Not a whole stick of butter.

It's like nasty.

It's like

a big thing, a solidified, salty mucus.

So it's disgusting.

You're going to ruin butter for everybody, son.

A little bit.

A little butter.

Supposed to be eating a fucking stick of butter?

Yeah,

they thought I was going to do it, and I was like, no way.

Like, no way am I going to do it?

Did she eat it?

Did she do it?

She tried.

Yeah, see?

She tried.

She was really like,

she thought she went into it thinking she was going to win.

Where do people find this confidence from?

Like, this, like, there's a, I see so much of it online.

I see so much of it around me.

It's the younger generation, dude.

Like,

you know, ridiculous, unrealistic confidence.

Where does it come from?

I don't know.

I think they had a different, they had different parents than maybe our generation.

Like,

my parents would have been like, you can't do it.

You'll never win.

Where

these younger kids are.

You shouldn't do it.

It's not worth it.

You're going to get

peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

You wanted me to stick a butter?

Yeah, the confidence I was surprised by, too.

I was like, if you think so.

But at first, I thought it was her versus one other girl.

So I was like, all right, maybe

she will win.

She's got a 50-50 chance.

But then it turned out there were a bunch of guys in there, too.

And one of them, and this was the most embarrassing part, the guy who won was a one-armed dude.

So not only did he have to unwrap the butter with only one hand,

which would take a lot longer than unwrapping with two hands, he then had to scarf it down, which he did.

So the one-armed man won the butter contest.

Mary Beth wasn't even close.

She still had like three-quarters of her stick of butter left.

I'm surprised she just doesn't like cut it in half and just try to swallow it.

I think I'd eat it like without chewing it.

Without chewing it, yeah, that's what I need.

Her up there,

which is like the other, that's what the other girl said.

She was like, you know, you try to eat it, but it's just so congealed that it doesn't slide down easily like you would think it might.

That's what I thought, too, like all buttery and oily and shit.

Yeah, it would just slide you down your gullet like a

hot knife through butter.

Yeah, but not the case.

No.

So we did that.

We went to the podcast fest.

It was a

long day.

How was that?

I mean, did you say for a week?

No, we were there from Thursday, and then we came back on Tuesday.

So we were there for a good couple days.

We played bingo, which I don't think I've ever felt more uninvolved in a game in my life.

It was at this place called the Plaza, and it's like, they bill it as like, this ain't your grandma's bingo.

Like, this is bingo for 2025, and blah, blah, blah.

And what is it?

High stakes.

High stakes, bingo.

Oh, they can be high stakes.

You chuckle, but they're

my wife has won bingo on the cruise, and it ain't no money to chuckle at Sunday.

Dude, I was two squares away from winning $5,000.

Yeah, that's high stakes.

Yeah.

That's what you won?

You won $5,000?

No, she won $1,000 playing bingo.

Not enough pay for that card.

Yeah, Mary Beth won $36.

But the weird thing about it was, it's in this huge room with all these fluorescent lights, and there's tons of computer screens.

So, what you do is you buy your cards up front, and your cards are then loaded onto this computer screen.

And then you go and you sit down in front of it, and they call the number, and you don't press anything.

Oh, it automatically does it?

It automatically does it for you.

So, you literally just sit there

and hope to win.

You can't fuck it up.

You can play the old-fashioned way.

You can, yes.

Yeah, you can.

If you choose to.

And you're born.

A couple of my friends chose to.

You should have seen them.

There was like no way they could keep up.

They had like 39 cards and they were just going too fast.

And the other thing was, it is your grandmother's bingo because you weren't allowed to talk.

Because

you have all the automatic people, and that doesn't matter to them if people are talking, but the people who are

doing the

old school daubers, yeah.

They can't hear as well, so you're supposed to be quiet the whole time.

I still don't know what to do.

It was not, I don't know, fun, I guess.

Well, if you would would have won, it would have been fun.

I'm sure the story would have been.

It was fucking amazing if I won.

He's two squares away, he said.

From what, 35 bucks?

Get the phone.

Yeah,

there were a couple of people who won, like Mary Beth won $36,

a couple people won $100, and then the one lady won $5,000.

That was like the big money price.

I guess it depends how many play.

I mean, obviously, the more people that play,

the bigger the pots are, correct?

I would think so.

So you're on a cruise ship, there's probably a lot of people playing.

Oh, yeah, it's hard to to win on a cruise ship.

There's like hundreds of people.

Apparently, not.

Well, I mean, that's the first time I've been on a cruise ship.

But your wife has that luck, man.

She looks like her life's what you're doing.

It looks like she's got a leprechaun on her shoulder.

Yeah.

I mean, look, hey, she's constantly winning it.

Like, she married me.

I was like, she became Irish the day she married me, and that leprechaun left my shoulder and went to her.

I think the leprechaun left something else.

Persealic.

Here we go.

That was Vegas.

I wanted to go to the Atomic Museum, but like she had relatives.

I had a blaster.

Oh, you what?

Yeah.

I really wanted to go, and she had relatives that were there, so we had to visit with them.

It's turned out to be a lot of relative visiting rather than.

This year didn't have any music either.

That I didn't go to.

Because it was like the event or

the show there, it's pretty expensive to go for just like the regular

soaring at like Disney, I guess.

But it's got like 45 minutes, an hour, and then there's like some kind of other stuff that you do beforehand.

They have like all these kind of like robotics or whatever.

I mean, I saw some YouTube videos of it, but I passed on it, and I, you know, I did see the Atomic

Museum.

It's interesting, though.

They have twice a year that they, I was trying to plan it out that you could actually go to the test sites.

Oh, where it's still radio material.

Yeah, you could all see like the, you know, the Sunday and Crater and all the Apple house.

Do you want to wear any special clothing?

No, I mean, it's not, I mean, there is, there's still, it's still, there's still radioactive.

You know, but you would take a chance on that.

It's, it's not to where it's going to affect you.

You're not there for a long period of time.

But if it affects your testing, I don't think anything could affect me.

Well, it doesn't really matter

in my life.

So my kids will be glowing.

So, I mean, I don't think I'm going to have any kids at this age.

But, you know, it's just, I think it's pretty interesting to sit there and see that, you know, where you're doing all the things.

I don't want no part of that.

I don't want to be anywhere near anything.

Yeah, you're not going to be in, you know,

right on top of anything.

I'll stay on top of it.

I would think it was pretty cool, but you can't take pictures.

You can't take pictures.

No, it's a bush.

It's well, I mean,

it's still probably, you know, certain stuff might be classified.

They don't want certain certain stuff.

But they should, but they run tourists.

Yeah, but you're not still classified.

It still is weird.

You can't take pictures.

You're still on a base.

You're still on some kind of establishment.

You know, you're not just like, you know, just in on just like any regular place.

You're still going through some kind of stuff.

I think it's still basically like a tourist trap, though.

At the end of the day, it's a tourist trap.

If they're running people through it, bus trips, and you can't take take it.

Well, you can't have a cell phone.

Can you bring food with you and a picnic?

I think they did say something with food, but you can't really bring at the site, you mean?

Like at the radiated site?

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know why, but there's a whole set of rules or whatever.

But they weren't doing it for some reason.

They closed all the tours for some reason.

So did they confiscate your phone?

No, I never went on.

I never was able to get it.

I was trying to time it because it's got to be like months before

you actually go and see it.

But I find that stuff pretty interesting.

I would sneak a photo if I get be like

of anything just to see you did it.

She's a ripple, this fucking guy.

Every time.

That's why every day he returns.

I remember I took my daughter, Alicia, to see a concert at the Stone Pony.

I think the little girl's name was Lights.

She was just this little tiny 20-something-year-old.

And she had a little meet and greet after the concert.

And her big, gigantic bodyguard was like, no pictures.

And Alicia was so heartbroken.

And I was like, I was like, I whispered to her in line.

I was like, I'll get a photo.

I said, I know Peter Parker.

You go up there.

I said, I'll get a photo.

And she goes, no, don't.

Don't make it.

Don't do it.

And I was like, trust me.

I said, he'll never know.

So she gets up there and she's talking.

And she's talking.

And I take my phone out and I

slow, so fucking slowly.

And then I'm looking around.

I see someone looking at me.

So I turn around and pretend I'm scrolling on something.

I was like, oh, I got to win this eBay auction.

I say out loud just to make it look like I'm doing something.

With his eyes, the phone's upside down.

So I go to take the picture.

I hear, sir, put your phone away, sir.

Oh, boy.

And I look up and it is a massive

man,

you know, who is very intimidating.

And it's like, you're not allowed to take pictures.

And I was like, I wasn't taking a picture.

Yes, you were.

I go, I wasn't taking a picture.

And Alicia's just covering her face.

Like, look, I go look at my phone.

I wasn't able to take a picture.

I did get a picture, but it was of just my foot.

Here it is.

I got it.

You can at least say it's, I was there.

Yeah, but she was not happy.

And she said, I told you not to do it.

And I was just like, I don't know why, though.

What is that?

Like, a lot of concerts now, I saw when I went to see Kevin Hart, they make you lock up your phones.

I mean, maybe because of the video.

Well, that's because they don't want the video being on.

They don't want the video being online.

They don't want the material out there for other people because it's like if it's on YouTube, then everybody hears it and they're like, oh, well, why would I go see Kevin Hart?

They did the same thing when I went to see Louis C.K.

They picked up my cell phone.

They weren't at Count Basie when I saw

William Shanner.

They went a lot of stake pictures.

I believe it's because they don't want pictures online of unflattering angles.

You know, they just don't want to, because

you get a 99-year-old man and you don't get the right angle, you look like you're posing with a corpse.

Dude, I've had some pictures of a 57-year-old man.

The same applies.

They put a mirror underneath my nose when I was on the plane.

And I think that's what happened with the girl that she does, she was probably so self-conscious about the pictures.

But I'm saying she's young, wasn't she?

She was 20.

Yeah, and I think that's even worse.

She's like of the internet age.

So she's like, I want to control any picture that gets out.

Imperfections and stuff like that.

So she was like, no pictures.

And I would have fucking had it just if I was just a little bit quicker with my fingers.

It's so weird, though.

I mean, it's just just like, I mean, you could be just out in public and somebody could snap a picture of you.

So, really, what's, I mean, you're in a place where you, you know, you're at an event.

So, obviously, you know, you're dressed up, you got makeup on.

You know what I'm saying?

So, in any place, that's the place that you want to have a picture taken, right?

Rather than being just coming out of a grocery store.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't know if it's also for time constraints that she's like, if I take a picture of everybody, I'll be here all night.

Was it a crowded show?

It was a pretty crowded show.

But, like you said,

either

you charge for a photograph or you just be like sitting on, as they're going up to meet them, you snap it on as they're there to take a picture, and then what they're going to do.

I mean, I don't want to, she was really sweet and she was really nice, and she was very kind to all the people that wanted to talk to her.

But, you know, man, I was like, fuck, man, if I just, it's a little bit quicker.

If I was, if I'd come with somebody else, I'd be like, if I went with Giddam, I would have been like, make a diversion.

Fake a heart attack.

You get up now.

Get him.

Quick, eat the stick of butter.

You'll pop right up.

You don't need a defibrillator.

Like Popeye with spinach.

Look outs back, buddy.

That's it.

That's all you did out there?

Yeah, and hung around with her parents, went out to eat, went out to eat a lot.

Some good restaurants out there.

Went down to the strip.

I was looking for a certain place called the Court Carousel or Carousel court or something.

Once we got down there,

I just couldn't find it.

So I was like, fuck it, turned around, went back.

Yeah, I didn't get a chance.

The last time I was there, I told you I was going to do the escape room.

They have the sauce.

I'm sorry I didn't do that.

I really, we just ran out of time.

I really wanted to do it.

But it sucks, you got to do it with multiple people.

I mean, if you do it with like the smallest group, I think you can do it with four.

And it's like, it's, it's pretty expensive.

It's, it's pretty pricey.

But it looks like you're walking on it.

It would look pretty cool.

After our escape room,

I was all ready for it.

I looked around for a Flanagan-style blackjack table.

Couldn't find it, though.

The least I could find was $3 minimums.

For video?

That's not bad.

That's not too bad.

What did you find?

One?

Oh, I found one.

I found a quarter one.

A quarter one, really?

Or a penny one.

You're talking digital.

Boy.

Yeah.

You're trying to find it with a

$3 blackjack.

I think I found a penny one, which is really fucked up.

Like, you could spend hours playing for a penny a hand.

That's like the senior citizen arcades and stuff.

They go like, yeah, bring me some coffee.

Everybody goes, why is there bringing a walkers in here?

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

You're not too far from that.

Yeah, so I lost 50 bucks on that.

Mary Beth lost 100 on bubble craps.

Nothing.

I mean, it's crazy what you see people.

I saw people throwing some big money out on tables and,

you know, varying between excited and crestfallen.

I went, the last time I was at a casino, only a couple weeks ago,

it was fucking nuts.

I didn't realize what I was doing.

It was a new kind of machine, and it didn't.

I put in my,

I had a $100 bill.

I put it in, and I didn't realize that I had bet 50 bucks.

Sometimes they're so sensitive.

You hit the fucking vision.

And I didn't realize it.

What the fuck happened to my money already?

No, and I won.

The first day I was,

and I won, and I looked at my winnings, and I was just like, holy shit, this machine's broken.

I said, I put in five, and it fucking gave me $100

back.

So I did it again.

Yeah, it broke my hair.

And I won again.

Two $50 hands in a row.

Wow.

But I didn't realize it still.

I thought it was fine.

I couldn't figure out what was going on.

I was like, this can't be right.

And then I proceeded to lose it all.

And then I realized, oh, shit, I was betting 50.

It's a good thing your eyes ain't that good.

What's going on?

I could have doubled my money in two hands and I walked away with two self-defense.

Yeah, I just, I can't sit at those tables, man.

They're just too pricey.

No, this was the digital one.

But even the digital ones could go.

I mean,

how much are you betting on?

I think they're a dollar.

I think the lowest you can go is a dollar.

Yeah.

Well, no, I found one that was a penny.

In AC?

No, it was in New York.

Upstate New York.

Yeah, you're not finding a penny in AC.

No.

It's too much.

Yeah.

I'm kind of over it now.

I'm kind of.

Yeah, you're recouped.

Yeah.

You got no more gambling for you when you go?

No, I kind of walked away after that.

I was like, huh.

You've had enough.

Selling copies of Carney at the fucking pawn shop.

Something I was supposed to do last week that I neglected to do because I thought it was happening this week was, were you aware that, you know, Lindsay Dixon?

Yeah, but I wanted to say we should be dedicating this episode to her.

I think so, too.

And maybe the next couple.

Maybe the rest of the year.

Tell everybody, yeah, tell Sunday what she did, this heroic.

Yeah.

Like, this is no joke.

No.

This shit's fucking

solid.

This is more than solid.

It's more than solid.

It's the most solid thing I've ever heard in my life.

It's the kind of thing that you sit back and you're like, is she fucking crazy?

I would never do this.

Lindsay Dixon, who's a listener, longtime listener, 13%er, has the tattoo to prove it.

She donated a kidney to, you know, Chuck?

Yeah, he knows Chuck.

You know, Chuck, right?

Chuck's mom, who I guess they found back that

they matched or...

were compatible or whatever.

So Chuck's mom.

Some days face it, like, he can't compute it.

Yeah.

And Lindsay used to date Chuck a long time ago.

Yeah, but it's not even a relative, though.

I mean, it's not like, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

That's why it's all

this is like the most selfless.

This sister I've ever heard.

Is this the one that moved to Canada?

Chuck?

No, no.

Lindsay?

Yeah, she lives in Maryland.

There's another Lindsay I'm thinking of.

Yeah.

But this Lindsay, she went up to Rhode Island and they

did their thing and she

got her kidney out, popped it in Chuck's mom.

She's doing good?

It's all good.

I think so.

Well, Lindsay's doing good.

I know that much because I texted with her, and she's doing fine.

I mean,

we talk about like, hey, we're going to help people.

Like, let's do a fucking podcast and put a picture.

Let's sit there and talk for an hour.

Yeah, like, this shit

is absolutely super heroic.

Like, how do you,

I don't know how you pay that.

Like, I don't know how you can say thank you enough.

Like, it's, you can't.

You're like, how do you, how do you not feel like I owe this person forever?

No matter what they need, I gotta be there.

Yeah, I gotta be there.

Yeah, you do, you do all of your

risk, man.

I mean, it's it's definitely a risk.

What's the risk?

Well, it's, I mean, it's still a surgical procedure.

I mean, it's, it's a risk for both people.

Well, I think, I think his mom probably was like, it was worth the risk.

No, what I'm saying, though, is, like, I mean, you can have complications from a surgery, you know what I'm saying?

It's just, you know, it's a very good thing.

It's a very good thing.

Most people don't do it.

You're right.

And there's only special

heroes that are willing to, you know, put their bodies at risk for another human being.

It's worthy.

It's more than worthy of having this episode.

Yeah, it's saving a life.

I mean, obviously,

she's, you know, obviously it was dire straits if she needed to have that done.

And usually it's a long time to wait for donors, too.

So it was, you know, that she happened to be the same

type of everything else.

They had both a very rare, like she was positive or something.

It's pretty good.

You could get something something that quick.

I guess

I hope, you know, we're going to forget, though, to dedicate the next one and the one after that and the one after that.

So if we should just say in perpetuity for the rest of the year, this way we don't have to remember.

Yeah, I mean, are you an Oregon donor?

I'm sure you're not an Oregon donor, right?

Now, what makes you say that?

With such conviction, he said it, too.

Bastard.

Just answer the question and roll you off.

I want to know why you would even think that.

I just

you say that out loud?

Just uh,

because you're just like, you wouldn't really go to doctors for anything.

So, I don't think you're really concerned about like you're not taking anything from me.

So, I know my answer.

Whoever found his license in his car, just let me know if it was an

organ donor in the back.

What about you, Sunday?

You an organ donor?

I am not.

No, why not?

I don't know.

It's just

you heard the you heard the

lure that if you're in a very bad accident, that the paramedics might not try to save you.

They might not be so.

Is it that a thing?

True, huh?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

They're trying for the money.

Spare parts.

That they won't try to save you because, yeah,

if you're almost too far gone, they're like, oh, well, we can use all these spare parts if they're an organizer.

But what if you are?

They would still do the same thing, though, right?

Would it really matter?

That's what I would assume, but this is what I've heard.

Can we write up some paperwork, like, real quick, and get it notarized across the hall?

Over across the hall.

Where,

like, if you go before me, I can have your arms because I want a pair of guns, B.

I want a pair of Sunday guns.

Walk around like

an ape and shit, where you can just put your knuckles on the floor.

Your arms aren't that long.

I don't think they're that much longer than line, but yeah, I want to be able to wear

a tank top this summer.

You know, you have to do things.

Of course, I'll be a morning if you're not around, but at least I'll be around.

He's up there flexing over my casket and shit.

Look at this guy.

He's like flexing and stuff.

But you know, you have to do work to keep them up like that.

You know, right?

That's the other thing.

They might as well just stay on me because they're going to look all decorative anyways.

They'll be like, oh, I can do that.

So I'll get a week out of them and this will be good.

I'll take your eyes too.

I don't know.

You know, you wear glasses on.

Maybe your eyes.

Yeah, your eyes might be worse than that.

But what on my eyes are for close-up?

I've still got to wear glasses off.

Maybe I'll just take

it.

Let me just

pick through it like a thrift store.

That's right.

I'll take that.

Check off what I can have.

You can leave that in, Nick.

You can leave that on him.

Don't take his brain.

Hopefully, I don't want that brain.

That'd be normal.

Yeah, just imagine him in the casket with his arms folded, but it's just his sleeves folded across his chest.

It's like two of those thin skeleton hands that you use for.

But yeah, I believe she's still recuperating in the

hospital.

Quick, quick recovery for both, and they're up and running around.

And

also, just reach out to me.

Oh, yeah, that was like the other day.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, that's some, yeah, that's no joke, man.

That is some impressive, impressive shit.

Like, somebody,

it was so awkward.

Somebody bought

something from the eBay store or TSD-related, and they sent me an email saying how happy they were with it.

And the name was Lindsay.

And so I went, I wrote this whole thing back, like, oh, wow.

I go, I can't believe you're commenting on this, you know, after what you just went through.

And I go, and I just went into it.

I was like, this shit is fucking amazing.

Like, you are a superhero, yada, yada, yada.

Usually I don't do that.

And then I get an email back and like, I don't think I'm the Lindsay

that you think I am.

And I was like, oh, shit, I'm sorry.

No, you're all superheroes.

Don't worry about it.

Well, it was because you bought that fucking print, I said.

You know, that's what I was going on.

Because I didn't have Sunday's eyes.

Dial in the wrong number.

I tried to play it off, and I didn't make a mistake.

I was just telling her how awesome she was for buying a TSD item on eBay.

By the way, you got a kidney.

34 minutes, okay.

Instead,

you'll never know what was just cut out.

Instead, I'll read to you from my copy here, Sunday, Jeff.

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Oh, as I did with the Ultra Modal, that's how they're there.

It's finally,

it's finally

confirmed.

It says Ultra Modal is pronounced Ultra Modal.

I already knew that.

Yeah, you've been saying it for years, but for some reason.

I've been saying for decades.

Yeah, but for some reason,

they specified it on this copy.

Other people probably fucking it up.

The ball caddy is really a perfect way to describe how these feel.

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All right, that's it for the spots this week.

Now we can talk about...

Let's see here.

What do I got?

Sage going prom dress shopping today.

When is prom?

It's in a week.

In a week.

Yeah.

Doesn't have a date, though.

She's going stagger.

It's okay.

I think a lot of kids go.

A lot of kids go stagger.

They go in groups.

Like my daughter went with a bunch of different people.

Did she?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think Sager's going with her friend, her female friend, and her male friend.

As long as they have a good time.

That's the only thing.

That's the bottom line.

Yeah.

Different when we were going.

Much different.

Yeah.

Why do you say that with that boyish little devilish grin?

Why do you say that?

Do you see that grin?

He was thinking back to what happened on Prime Night Sunday.

What happened?

You know,

of course it happens.

It's prom, buddy.

Why are you telling that in front of Bry?

Why?

No, you told him it's going to happen.

It's different.

It's different down here.

No, I got to put the kibosh on it.

You know, I got chastity belt.

That's a long time ago.

Things are different.

Things are different.

That was back in the 80s.

I mean, usually back when we went, I mean, I don't know anybody that went, at least at my school, I don't remember anybody going single or going with multiple groups right now.

It's like they, they all, you know, like I said, my daughter went with a bunch of different groups, they all went in groups.

They all sat in groups.

Obviously, there was boyfriend, girlfriend, or couples, but it's not like that.

Did you tell her about your prom night?

Or do you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm like him.

You know?

It's like, okay, me worried.

I got to know what happened on your prom night.

The way you're smiling from ear to ear.

It doesn't matter anyways.

It happened well before prom, anyways.

It's just a recap.

It doesn't matter, anyways.

It's well in the past.

Okay.

I got in big trouble on senior prom night.

I had a girlfriend, and we took a limo with another couple.

And I mildly suggested some soft swapping, and everybody got mad at me.

Yeah, so it didn't happen.

And the rest of the night was kind of like...

I was like, doing this.

Yeah, limos, man.

Remember, everybody had to buy like rental limo?

Yeah.

I didn't rent no limo.

What'd you drive?

My friend, this guy I knew, he actually had a Lincoln town car.

So I borrowed this Lincoln Town car for the one prom.

Wow, that's a bitch to drive, right?

Isn't it a good one?

That's a big car.

It is.

Yeah.

Good driver.

Why are you smiling?

He's all blushing.

Look at this car.

That's good to see.

He's talking about

it.

Put some Bon Jovi on.

You can wear your luscious box again.

Out there with your fucking hairy chest and shit.

Why are you thinking about me on Proud Knight?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Where were you back then?

I'm asking you about what I'm on Proud Knight.

You know you want my arms.

You're talking about me in the 80s on my hairy arms.

You're talking about me now.

You want my arms?

I want your hairy chest.

I don't know.

I think they were just, you know, it was a good time in high school.

I like that time in high school, huh?

I like the 80s.

I mean, I like that time.

You know, you look back and it's like, yeah, you know,

you miss it now.

Don't you see Sunday Jeff as being like soft-spoken and kind of like not really the center of attention in high school?

I don't know, but I'll tell you this.

I would give.

I would give my left nut to hang out with Sunday Jeff in the 80s.

I bet you we would fucking be, it would have been a fun time.

I hung out with everybody, though.

You know how, like, when we went to school, you had groups.

You have your burnouts, your jocks, and everything else like that.

It's like, I hung out with everybody.

I didn't care.

I mean, it's just like, you know, I had friends in this group, this group.

I was just like, I was just, you know, if you recall.

I would have loved to have hung out with Sunday Jeff and fucking

and tour up the fucking town, you know.

Yeah.

Come with me to prom.

Which group did you most closely align with?

I was just like neutral.

I mean, I had a couple of friends.

Neutral.

Switzerland.

You know what I mean?

Like,

when you went to school, though, you hung out with your,

Metalheads.

Yeah, okay.

Metalheads, potheads, whatever you want to call them.

Metalheads.

Right.

You had your...

There's all different groups back then.

So, you know, I had a couple of friends that were, you know, like, I never smoked pottery, but I had friends that did it, you know, and I had regular friends that were very smart.

You know, your brain jumped.

You hung out with the nerds.

There's a couple people.

But, I mean, they didn't act like nerds, but I'm just saying they were just, you know, they're not walking around with tape on their glasses and shit.

Where do you think were you, you know,

what'd you fall in?

But what did you most closely?

I'm in no man's land.

That's what I was in.

I was in no man's land.

You still are.

You haven't, not that has changed.

I was just like Kane.

I walked by myself, you know.

You fall under no category when I'm in the case of you.

That's good, right?

I describe you.

I'm like, that's good.

He's undescribable.

That's good, I guess.

Undescribable, I'll take.

I don't mind undescribable.

Let's see here.

Yeah, so she's going to the prom.

She's got a special ride that I'm not going to reveal until

I know who it is.

You know who it is?

I just think it'll be cool to reveal it on Instagram.

People will see, you know, make a little video of it and stuff.

Maybe they won't be excited.

I don't know.

I'm just not going to reveal it.

So everybody's on the edge of their seat now until next week.

She's got a showman over here.

Trying to do anything to get people excited.

So she's decided to go?

Yeah, she's very excited to go.

Like I said, she's dress shopping today.

She just got a dress for a homecoming that

I was like,

man.

She can't wear that one?

Yeah, I guess that, yeah, that's not

something that girls do is wear the same dress to a prom and a homecoming.

They are not cheap, some of these prom dresses.

Yeah, like Mary Beth said that when she went, her parents spent, or her mother, her father didn't know about it, but her mother spent like $1,500 on that.

Oh, not that much.

Yeah, that's fucking cool.

At least like $400.

I was like, fuck that shit.

Bonkers.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's nuts.

For something you're probably going to wear once.

And she did wear once.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just like once.

I mean, it's a beautiful dress.

She still has it somewhere.

Henry couldn't get it to a seamstress and kind of let it out for Sage.

Yeah.

Or let it, whatever, take it.

I don't think so.

Like, if you saw Mary Beth in high school, it would have leaned a lot of letting out.

Sage is

pretty big these days.

Yeah, she's grown.

It's a big gal.

But yeah, that's next week, so I'll report back.

Have you heard this new Kanye song Sunday?

No.

You're not going to listen to it, huh?

No.

I'll listen to it if you have it.

I don't have it.

I couldn't find it.

I looked on Twitter.

Now,

it really is an indication of just how fucking out of whack

the world is.

That he's allowed to put this up?

Well, no, not that he's allowed to, but that.

That he puts it out, and there are some people who are mad that it's not available everywhere.

It's a song about Hitler.

Got it?

And we make jokes about, you know, like, oh, Hitler was the fourth member, the unofficial fourth member, but

they're jokes.

They're jokes.

This shit now is getting real weird and the amount of

Hitler song.

It's called hell Hitler.

It's absolutely bonkers what's going on in the world today.

Like, I don't understand how this shit has flipped, where people now are like

defending Hitler and writing songs.

It's bonkers.

You're at an age where you think you can do no wrong.

You can't say no wrong, I guess.

I don't know.

Oh,

this is a laugh.

A Reddit spokesman said the platform would remove uploads of the song and posts celebrating the message.

Hate and anti-Semitism have absolutely no place on Reddit.

That's all Reddit is, is fucking hate.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Especially that TSD Care Swarm.

Yeah, I know.

Why don't they get on that fucking subreddit, man?

Take down some of those.

Jesus Christ, yeah.

It says on Facebook, NBC News, found over a dozen re-uploads of Heil Hitler music video.

Yeah, I don't get it.

Yay was able to briefly upload the song to the popular music services, Spotify and SoundCloud before they were knocked, before they were taken down.

Spotify didn't respond to the outreach, but appears to have removed the song.

But why?

Because

it's glorifying the surface, but I'm saying,

what are you getting out of it?

What's your purpose?

It's like I said, the world's not going in the right direction at this moment, and it's scary.

We're in trouble, bro.

Yeah, we are.

I mean,

I find myself not wanting to leave Testy Town because the real world is fucking horrible.

Testy Town got their own problems.

We got problems.

Not like those.

But not like that.

It's just crazy.

Yeah.

Some experts say these companies are not acting or responding fast enough and doing enough to prevent the posting of hateful content.

Should you be able to post hateful content?

I guess it's a private company, so you can say, you know, whether you want it there or not.

I mean, it doesn't do any good.

You know?

I mean, not that the guy needs any money, but it's just like you figure, I mean, what's the risk?

I mean, you can have record labels drop you.

It's just

I mean, obviously, it doesn't care.

Does not care at all.

I don't think the world

and record labels are a thing of the are dinosaurs at this point, record labels and artists.

But, you know, if you do, like, if you endorse clothing or whatever, I mean, any, it doesn't matter just like music.

I would think with anything, they drop you.

Believe me,

his bank account has been dramatically affected by his absolute

behavior.

So maybe there's something wrong with his mentally ill.

Yes.

Yes.

Kanye?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

There's,

yeah, they're calling on him to remove on X to remove West from its platform because I guess it's still up on X.

Which is like, if you're Elon Musk and you already have that Hitler thing, that Hitler Association,

you should leap to take that off.

That should be a shit.

And be like, no, no, no.

Just to show you guys that that wasn't not true.

Right.

I don't know.

I haven't heard the song either, Sunday.

I don't know.

Apparently, you can't.

Can't hear it.

You got to buy it, I guess, but I don't know.

Oh, yeah.

It said SoundCloud said in an email that the audio streaming platform had taken steps to remove nearly 400 versions of the song.

So I guess they just keep re-uploading it.

And they have to figure out

how to use AI to identify it and take it down whenever somebody puts it back up.

Strange times, brother.

Strange times, Sunday.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say about it.

I got good news.

All right.

My daughter had her baby.

It's a week old today.

All right.

That was my final thing.

The biggest news of the week.

That was my final.

That was my final thing.

I ruined it.

You're a bit of a showman today.

A little bit.

Yeah.

Grandpa planning.

You're keeping the secret of what Sage is driving to Prominence.

I figure if I could stretch out it long enough that we could have a nice

bubble of talk about it.

Baby Oliver came into the world last week and

it's been awesome because they're staying with us.

Oh, they came back down to it.

It originally wasn't the plan, but it just worked out better and

it's

just nice.

It is a massive full house now, but it's

awesome.

They're not going back.

I told my wife, I was like, man, this is probably the last time

everybody will be under the same roof.

So let's enjoy this because just a few years ago, nobody was under the roof.

It was just me and my wife.

empty nest yeah and now they all came back and they're all there for

however long this lasts it probably won't be that long but it's pretty fucking cool I was like watching the stamp

I mean the other daughters your other daughter's gone too she was a couple years ago she was she moved and then but she's come back now so everybody's back home now both my girls and how much do you like

and oh it's awesome yeah it's awesome I was watching the game last night feeding the baby it's come right back to see a video of that yeah where's my phone but I don't don't have a video, but I got photos.

And I was just watching the game and just holding them.

It was just fucking.

It's just.

It's a weird situation.

It's the best thing, man.

It's just.

I bet it's not something like, I don't know what it's like to hold my own kid.

I certainly won't know what it's like to hold my own grandchild.

So it's not something I feel like you can really express in words.

It's hard, yeah.

It's pure.

They have the smell to them.

Like, it's a pure smell.

It's just like, it's crazy.

You see the TV in the background?

I was like, this is the Stanley Cup playoffs.

One day, our team, the Devils, will win it and we'll celebrate together.

I was telling them.

Spit up on you.

Now, what happens if, like, you know, ever since, well, it's not the season right now, right?

They're out of

the playoffs.

Oh, in the background.

It's the playoffs right now.

Okay.

Had he been born before the playoffs and, like, you know, the same thing happened.

He came down to the house and then they just started winning.

Were the devils?

Yeah, and they're like, well, we got to bring him back sometime.

Oh, I'll be like, he's the lucky charge.

The baby's crying, and

he can't hear the TV.

I put sugar in their car

in the gas tank.

Anybody got some rum?

Got a nice head of hair, that kid.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of hair.

Massive set of hair.

But

it's hard to describe when you like, like last night, he's on this schedule.

where he has to eat every three hours.

So I'm like, I'm up.

Oh, So you're actually

a benefit.

You're a help.

Well, no, they have to.

They want to do it.

So they're taking care of it, but the baby, so I'm timing it.

Like, if I haven't heard him make a sound, I'm getting all panicked.

I'm like, I'm ready to wake everybody up and be like, can we just check, make sure he's okay?

Because,

you know, it's been three hours.

I heard a peep from him.

And then, of course, I'm.

It's called sleeping.

Yeah, of course.

I was wrong.

I shouldn't have woke everybody up

just to check and see if it was, because it was just sleeping.

It's just crazy how, like,

if you're holding

your grandson and it's just like, how long ago was it with your own kids?

It's just

it doesn't feel that way, though.

I mean, it's just like my daughter just finished her first year of college.

So, I mean, it's just like, it just goes like this.

20 years ago,

just goes.

It's crazy how fast it goes by.

It does.

Yeah, but to have them all home is a, yeah, that's a, that's an awesome little

gift.

Like, it's, because it's not going to last, you know, who knows how long they'll be here, but hopefully it's they're here for a while, maybe till June.

Well, I'm sure your wife wants to spend some time with her, you know, with

needs of man.

And, you know, and like, it's scary.

You know, my daughter has never been around a little kid, so it's like, now you're just throwing it to the fire.

Here, here's a, take care of this little baby.

Here's a baby, something you have no experience in.

Did you hear that sound?

You're supposed to do that.

It's like, everybody, I want to go to sleep.

How do this?

It's like you're calling the doctor.

Well, it's just like, they don't come with owners manuals.

It's just like this is all new.

It's just like what they're doing is normal.

So it's just like, you know,

it's all relative at that when you first have your first child, like that.

Yeah, it just takes a little time to get confidence.

And

because you just don't know.

It's like,

are they eating enough?

Are they doing this?

Oh, he eats good.

He doesn't spit up either.

He has to spit up once.

Keeps it down.

That's no Flanagan.

He threw up when he was born.

It's funny.

I don't really have that.

Like I said, I don't really have that much.

I got something here.

I pulled up something.

I dusted it off years ago.

I came up with something for the Sunday Jeff Show that I never really

saw the light of day, so I thought maybe we could try a little bit of it here.

It's a very small sample of a game I called Sunday Snopes.

Did you ever hear Snopes where you debunk shit?

So I have some of the

rumors

that were flying around when we were younger, some about celebrities.

I want to see if

you, both you guys could

tackle it seriously, and how would you debunk it if I said to you, you must debunk this?

What are the first things that leaped to mind to debunk this rumor?

And the first rumor is

Rod Stewart.

Oh, there you go.

You know what it was, Sony?

Yeah, with the soccer team, second off the soccer team.

Okay, now it's changed.

The initial rumor was Rod Stewart had to have his stomach pumped after ingesting too much semen because he allegedly blew nine sailors, not soccer players, and ingested anywhere from a gallon to a pint of ejaculate.

Let's see, sucking off elephants?

A gallon would be a lot for 10 sailors.

All right, well, here we go.

10 soccer guys?

Like, okay, so if you had to debunk that, what's the first thing that leaps to mind?

You're like, well, you know, it can't be true because blank.

Just because of what you said, gallons worth of

semen there.

I mean, it's like chugging it down.

Well, maybe these sailors have been at sea for a while.

I don't care how long they've been at sea.

You ain't the first day of leave.

You ain't shooting off a gallon, bro.

You're not shooting off a gallon.

I don't care if you got nine of them.

You ain't shooting off a gallon.

If you got nine of them, you might come close to a pint.

Well, it's a gallon.

You said a gallon.

Anywhere from a gallon to a pint of ejaculate.

But Sunday, your debunk theory is it has to be false because nobody would be able to have that much

just nine men

couldn't

produce that much.

Fucking Peter North couldn't even do that.

Look up Peter North.

I don't know who that is.

Is that a football player?

He's a well-known porn star for blowing giant wallets and shit.

He might be able to.

You're upset that I don't know who.

Oh my God.

No, I'm saying if you had nine of him,

if you had nine of him, it was true.

Brian, what is your first thing that leaps to mind if you're like,

it can't be true because...

I would feel like because the stomach acid would break down the proteins immediately and you wouldn't be able to pump anything out.

Like there just wouldn't be anything in there.

It would just be all stomach acid mixed up with

whatever.

See, I'm surprised that you don't immediately just leave to mind.

It's like, well, it's not poisonous.

Why does he need to have his stomach pumped?

Right?

That's a good point.

I hadn't thought of that.

He just

rushed into the emergency room.

He's like, I swallowed gum.

Yeah, what doctor's going to be like, okay, he's in an emergency, Garney.

Bring him into that room.

Stat, I got to pump his stomach.

He's full of jizz.

That's a really good point.

After hearing that since fifth grade, not once has it occurred to me, like, why would they pump his stomach?

He obviously wanted it.

Do you guys want to know the origin?

We could finally pull back the curtain and you guys will find out where this rumor started.

No?

No, I do not.

It is fucking interesting as hell.

Stewart says the story all started from a disgruntled publicist, Tony Toon.

That's his real name, Tony Toon.

Stewart had fired him.

Stewart fed the press a story in which

As a consequence of having an evening spent orally servicing a gang of sailors in a gay bar in San Diego,

Rod had to be rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped.

Stewart continues, I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor.

I have never had my stomach pumped, either of naval issue semen or any kind of semen.

At least he has a good sense of humor about it.

Yeah, I mean, well, God, he's been dealing with it since the 70s.

I think by this time, though, I mean, it's just got to be well, well.

I'm telling you, I don't care.

If I've been dealing with a rumor of that kind of nature for decades, I don't know if I could be this

cavalier of the especially if he does like a concert on an aircraft carrier.

Now,

he was

apparently fired because Stewart found him doing something,

he walked in on him doing something illegal with,

I guess, at the time in some states,

I think he was the one who may have been ingesting some senior.

Really?

Yeah.

Some Sarah Elliot.

Yeah, so he kind of flipped the tables.

I had rod.

Mind if I join in?

Have I told you lately?

So, have you guys never wondered where that came from?

No, it's so old at this point.

I mean, and it's what's weird.

It's like it's one of those word-of-mouth things.

It was pre-internet.

So, like, for us to hear that as kids, how far did that have to travel?

His son didn't live next to us, and he heard it.

And he heard it, yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

I have another one.

Sunday, what's the rumor about Richard Gere?

This one I don't know.

You've never heard it.

Really?

No.

Wow.

Well, maybe.

Maybe if they tell me.

Right, what's the rumor?

That he pleasured himself by putting a hamster up his ass.

That I have not heard.

And then he had to go to the emergency room.

Who would you take first if you're the doctor, Rod?

Richard Gere?

I think Richard Gere is probably more of the

urgent care because he'll start gnawing his way out of the side of his fucking pelvis or something.

All right, Rod, my chart here says you just have a pint of semen.

So

we're going to take Richard first.

The other guy's bleeding from his anus and he's starting to chew through a...

So Gere was said to have arrived at the ER complaining of rectal bleeding.

He was too embarrassed to provide an accurate history, but provides the examining doctor a clue.

There might be something stuck in my rear end.

The examination reveals a non-tender abdomen, but a rectal exam shows blood coming from his anus.

Something bit me.

Speculum exam reveals bloody stool and a dead gerbil.

Apparently, though, the cardboard tubing from a paper towel roll was used and the rodent had been forced into his rectum.

Once the animal was in, the tube was pulled out.

Thus,

that was the big mistake.

You don't pull the tube out until you get the gerbil out.

Oh, you think

cut off his exit.

Kay, how would you debunk this one, Sunday?

I just don't know how, why it's even possible.

Why even like I've heard this, like, that kind of stuff that people do this kind of stuff.

Those kind of people.

Well, any kind of people.

Just a bar of this.

Who would do such a thing?

Who would ever, ever do such a thing?

Now, Sunday, you are absolutely on the right track with your debunking theory.

Let us hear Bryce.

How would you debunk this one?

I would debunk it by saying that unless there are medical records that Richard Gere can prove that it didn't happen, I think it happened.

You're not debunking it.

No, I'm not going to debunk it.

But Sunday's on the right road to debunking it because

to this day, in 2025, there has never been any documented proof that this active activity with a gerbil is popular.

In that community.

In that community.

But even in any community.

But I'm saying, why would you...

What would be pleasurable about it?

Well, you don't have such a sense of the situation.

But there's tons of instances of guys going to the ER with light bulbs up their asses.

They're just about an animal.

They're survived that you're putting them now in an area that they're on, they're sharp, they got teeth.

But they're on drugs.

These guys are on drugs.

If you're on drugs, man, this thing is tearing you up like a fucking Wolverine inside.

It's just like, it's just...

No, gerbils are cute.

I used to have one in a ball.

Not up your ass.

No, no, but

I don't know.

I wouldn't automatically think it would go fucking Wolverine.

It just immediately putting it in a...

It's like.

It would smother it, wouldn't it?

It's trying to survive now.

There's no oxygen.

It's just, you know what saying?

It's just like, why would anybody know that?

But yeah, that's one of the big reasons that most people shouldn't have believed it because this is not a practice that was ever really proven to be

prevalent.

Right.

But you want to know the origin?

This is going to blow your mind.

This is why it's called Sunday Snopes.

You sure we didn't do this?

You would remember the Sunday, right?

Richard Maria, you thought we did along with the...

When I tell you how

rumor came to be, you're going to be like, holy fuck, because it started by a very famous person, another famous actor.

During production on 1974's drama, The Lords of Flatbush,

the cast took a lunch break and it almost descended into violence when Richard Gere

spilled his food on Sly Stallone's brand new trousers.

Yo.

This caused

what's with the hamster.

This caused a simmering disdain from Stallone towards Gere.

Gere pointed the finger at Stallone because the director then fired Richard Gere from the Lords of Flatbush because they just couldn't get along and he was afraid they were going to have an actual throwdown.

Stallone has known for years that Gere thinks that he's the culprit,

but he said with a smile, much like Sunday's smile when we talked about prom earlier, a devilish smile, it wasn't me.

Really?

Yeah, but like, he doesn't.

It really sounds like it.

It sounds like it was him.

Yeah, he's the culprit.

What a weird thing to make up.

Oh, yeah.

And then for it to fucking literally go around the globe.

I mean, I think you can go like you can go down to Ethiopia.

I bet you could ask kids, what's the Richard Gere rumor?

As long as Sunday's not down there.

He's the one guy who doesn't know.

that's I didn't even know he was like he was even going to be in that movie, Richard Gere.

Well, he got fired before it came out, he wasn't able to finish production.

I think Henry Winkler then joined the cast,

and that led to Fonzie.

So, without that rumor,

we might not have Fonzie.

Without the Richard Gere gerbil rumor, we might not have never known Henry Winkler as Fonzie, but might have been.

Thank God, I know, thank God, thank God

heinous rumor that cost gear probably millions and lost roles.

Thank you, Sly.

And I have one more.

Because, like I said, I only had three because I never really fleshed

this segment out.

You've had to heard this one, but I'm going to ask, what's the rumor about Gene Simmons?

What was the big

rock rumor?

Oh, the cow tongue?

Yes.

Gene Simmons had his tongue surgically lengthened with

a cow tongue graft.

You heard that, Brian?

I've never heard that, no.

Okay, well, you guys just flip-flopped.

Well, I mean,

you were never really a Kiss fan, though, right?

Not really, but I mean, still, I do hear things.

I'm surprised that.

So he had his tongue lengthened

by a medical procedure.

With a bovine tongue.

With a bovine tongue, right.

Okay.

Now,

how would you debunk this?

What would you think would be the biggest reason why you shouldn't believe this?

There's just no way you'd be able to do something like that.

Why?

It's just, I mean, a cow's tongue is like the width of his face.

You know, it's just

10 times bigger than what a human tongue would be and would look so awkward.

He'd be walking around like fucking Jarjar Banks.

Well,

that's also if it took, because there's a lot of times where people get like, you know, their thumb, like their own body rejects, like, you know, their own thumb or something, let alone a bovine tongue.

It's like some foreign object is now sewn to your tongue.

Thank you guys.

It takes me to fucking actually make me sit here and be like, dude, fucking think it through for a second because both of you are like it could be done

it takes someone to stay

and literally be like think about it i got teddy stone mouth

um

the origin of the gene simmons bovine tongue it is unknown to this day who started this rumor but to debunk it Think of this.

The average cow tongue is roughly 19.2 times larger than a human's.

Do you be looking at his,

you know, he might enjoy that, I guess, if it was 19 inches longer.

So, Gene's skull and mouth would have to have been enlarged to carry the average bovine tongue, which can weigh up to three pounds.

In comparison, a human tongue weighs in at just under 2.5 ounces.

And

what doctor is agreeing to perform this operation?

Today?

Yeah, today,

get the fuck out of here.

They're always doing like Brazilian butt lifts in other countries and apartments in the Bronx.

I still think that you're going going to have to search far and wide for the one doctor.

That's like a Dr.

Mengele type guy.

Yes.

Condora surgery.

So, again, though, like, if we had, if as kids, if we had just sat there for a second and just really

thought about it for a second or two.

Yeah, you weren't thinking.

Is that going to be like, did you hear this?

It's true.

The Ozzy rumor, but I mean, it's true.

What was the Ozzy?

The bat?

I mean, it's true, but it's not.

I mean, it's...

He did, but he thought.

Explain to listeners what the Ozzy rumor is.

That somebody threw a bat up on

stage.

It was a rubber bat, but it was actually a real bat.

Yeah.

But I mean, so it's true, but he had to get

all the

raby shots in his belly and everything.

Can't tell no more.

He's fucking sticking me with all these fucking needles.

Yeah.

I thought this could have been a good segment for the Sunday Jeff show, but I searched Sunday ideas on my phone, and this one was all the way back to 2019 and had been sitting there unused.

So we got to use it today.

Six years.

Six years in the mix.

Breaking out the vault stuff now.

Comes down to that.

Come to that.

That magazines.

What else we got on the floor?

Yeah, that's all I got.

That's all I got.

You got anything?

I got nothing.

I got nothing else.

All right.

Well,

tell them, Steve, Dave, then, I guess.