#636: Horseplay

How the fuck can you say you're a fan and fucking butcher that name?

I don't know why I told you to watch it.

I gotta make that fucking get him Johnson porn quick.

No, and you're like, that's it, good night.

Thank you for coming.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

You ready to pod, Walt?

You ready to pod, motherfucker?

Today's one of of those days.

I'm not ready to podcast.

Oh, no, you're not.

Yeah.

We got a Patriot leader, too.

I know.

We got to lean on BQ today because he should have major stories.

He's all around the world.

He should bring us plenty of bountiful

stories.

They have to be more interesting than what we're doing, though.

Why?

What are you guys doing?

We're not going to Derby's.

I know that much.

We didn't go.

No, we didn't see you there.

Hello, Kentucky Derby.

finally, after all those years, I got to go.

It was a lifelong.

No, I was just ever since Hunter S.

Thompson wrote about it when I was young, I was always like, oh, you know, you just hear about it.

It's one of those cultural things that you always kind of hear about.

Well, I saw the red carpet.

I don't know if that's what they call it.

Yeah.

I mean, there were a lot of celebrities there.

Who did you hobnob with?

There were some heavy hitters down there, man.

Yes.

Yeah, heavy hitters.

Mainly.

We were sat next to

Travis Tritt, the country western guy and his family.

All right.

And did he perform?

He performed.

His daughter performed.

She did an unbelievable version of

Next Time He Cheats, that song.

It was, but I was there with Fatone, so I was there with a member of InSync.

So right away I'm doing all right in that department.

But really, Travis's family was sitting to the right of us, and to the left, I had Blair Underwood, who's an actor.

And

they've all been going for 20 years.

They go, they sit at the same tables.

Not Blair One, the Travis Tritton, Fatone, and so they're like really, they have a down.

Right.

So it was just, it was pretty amazing.

Like, they just kind of adopted me into it and showed me a good time.

Real Southern hospitality was real.

Okay, I've heard it.

I've heard it exactly.

You were dressed like a Southern gentleman, so

they should have extended it.

Yeah,

it was great.

Yeah,

you have to dress up for the derby.

That was fun.

One day for some pink dress.

It's just like, it's just such a decadent

like it's pretty crazy to be in the middle of all those like and and

you know you start hearing how much outfits cost like I was wearing a seersucker suit that cost me like 400 bucks right

but you hear some of the suits that people are wearing and you're like holy fuck that guy's wearing like a twenty thousand dollar suit and this woman had a ten thousand dollar dress and and all you're just it's like in the middle of all this decadence man where you're like this is this is nuts this is crazy

on the red car Stars strutting down.

A little Kentucky Colonel pin.

I was given the respect afforded me

as a Kentucky Colonel.

Were you?

In that, people called me Colonel from time to time.

Yeah, that's about it.

But what a well-oiled machine down there, man.

And it was real impressive to see the horses and watch the race and lose.

I lost a lot of money, Walt.

Really?

How much?

What were you basing your bets on?

Just names of horses.

Like, if there was a Dorth Vader, I went ahead and bet on that one.

Tried to go for some long shots.

It didn't really work out.

How much are we talking about?

What's a lot of money in BQ?

I'm probably down

in the end,

maybe $1,100.

Oh, okay.

It is a lot of money.

Yeah, it felt like a lot of money to me.

It wasn't always.

It was, you know, sometimes I was up 500, then I'd be down 400, and then you hit you down 1,000, and that's when my stomach starts to hurt.

And I'm like, why am I here?

You don't chase it, and you're like, all right, I got to win that back.

That was that one last bet.

It was a $100 bet on a long shot.

I was like, I'll win this one.

And that did not come through either.

But there were people around me who were winning 20 grand.

One guy won 40-something grand or something like that.

It just happens all around you.

I wonder how much you got to bet to win $40,000, though.

It's just the right horse.

The right horse with right combo.

Some people were putting down like, all my bets were like, usually $20, $10 here and there.

And every once in a while, I would take a big swing.

But,

man,

I didn't do so well.

How long does the day last?

Like, how long are you there for?

What a great question.

It's a long time.

I was gonna say, two days.

Two days?

It's the there's the Oaks, the Kentucky Oaks race is on Friday, and that's an all-female race with uh all-female horse race that benefits breast cancer.

So you go to that.

Can I ask you a question?

I don't know if you know it, though.

I when you s that really uh piqued my interest.

So

when you see a horse race, like the, let's say, the more popular horse races, are they all males?

I don't know.

It's a great question.

I'm sure Giddam could look that up for you.

I don't know.

Because you said it's an all-female race.

Is that to lead me to believe that the male horse is the dominant

of the

sister of the sexes?

I would imagine they are, but I also took it as

dangerous territory here, Walt.

I'm just proving my point with horses.

But it was.

Did I miss something?

We went over Blue Origin last week.

Okay, okay, yeah.

Okay.

So they think they do it as like a not a gimmick, but like as a thing for breast cancer.

And you have to wear pink that first day, somewhere on you.

So that's when I had like a you wore your pink me hunties.

Pink pussies.

No, pink pants.

Pink pants.

Nice smart blazer.

And a derby hat, like an old Western, like

yeah, it was like Marty McFlyward Part 3, like that sort of thing.

It was fun.

And then from there, you go to

between there you go to a restaurant, but then there's a charity thing that night called the Barnstable Brown, which is apparently this big party that's been going on there for decades.

It's like one of the big things.

Oh, hey, buddy.

And then that's just like it's weird.

It's like this mansion in the middle of this neighborhood in Kentucky, and

it's thrown by the Doubleman, the original Doubleman twins.

Like the two girls with the...

From the fucking bubblegum commercial?

Yeah.

It's like apparently they're

southern heirs or something like that.

The Experiment Twins, right?

Or are they, what were they called?

Yeah, the Double Mint Twins.

The Double Mint Twins.

Wow, they were like, they were attractive.

Yeah, you know, they're in the 60s, but they still kind of got it.

And they're very welcoming, and

they have this big party, and it's in the middle of a neighborhood.

It's like as if one of your neighbors were like, we're throwing the biggest party.

They put up tents in the yard, all this band playing.

That's where all the musicians got up and did songs and stuff.

And they have to invite all their neighbors because, like, if they don't, it's like that's all hell on.

But

all the people around the neighborhood wait at the front door because it's got like a gated entrance.

Um, and then, like, as the celebrities get out of the car, all the neighbors that live in the neighborhood and stuff cheer for you and stuff like that.

It's like this whole thing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it's like a whole thing.

I can see why people love going, and that's it.

Yeah, that's the mansion.

I just saw back it up a little bit.

Get up, I saw something with Tom Brady.

Yeah, that includes Tom Brady, who has come.

Was he there?

He was not there this year.

His brother?

Oh, that was from 2017.

I thought he only had sisters.

There was somebody there.

There was a big NFL.

There was a big NFL.

Joe Burrow?

No, I can't remember.

I won't remember.

Because you're also drinking all fucking day.

Is it free alcohol?

Oh, yeah.

Because where it was was like there was all these different sections and the sections we were in were bought out by charities.

So as long as you're there supporting the charity, which I was, then they let you into that section where it's open bar and food and stuff.

Okay, so it's not anybody for anybody attending, it's not free alcohol, just a certain segment.

Oh, no, anybody attending, I'm sorry, I was talking about the derby.

At that party, it's totally free alcohol, totally free food.

It's like a free-for-all.

But it's great.

It's just a fun time.

Like,

everybody gets up like two songs, does like two songs.

That's it.

They build all those tents around the house.

It's a cool-looking house.

Yeah, it's pretty dope.

You do well for yourself being a twin and chewing gum.

You sure do, man.

It looks nice over there.

That's the entrance that you go into, and then all the neighbors are standing on the lawn to the left and right of that.

And they announce you when you get out of your car.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And they're like, you know, they're like, get to you from O'Brien.

We'll go with Cube.

But I was very happy with the reaction I got.

Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

Because had it gone the other way.

Yeah, you never know.

People like to see it.

It's like Ricky Drees when he comes out on the stage.

I don't know if these people are going to know who I am.

But we did okay.

We did okay.

We did okay.

I got to meet her, Simone Biles.

She was very nice, only for a quick second.

But yeah, it was, so it was like, that was Friday, and that goes to like two in the morning.

And then the next day, you're you're back at the race to beat traffic there.

You're there by

10:30, and you don't leave there until, I mean, nine o'clock at night, nine, ten at night, and then you go to another fi wrap-up party.

Um, so it's all day, just everybody dressed up fancy, and everybody's just gambling and having fun.

Like, it is a lot of fun, um, but uh, definitely a younger me would have, would have, would have been a little bit more.

I'll come around 6 o'clock after a day of drink, and I'm like, oh, God, let me get back to the hotel.

But I was a trooper walled.

I stuck there.

But

it felt like something I'd never done before.

Would you do it again?

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

I would do it again.

I wouldn't, like, you're not going to catch me, like, trying to make it happen,

but if I get the invite to go down there, I'll very, very happily go.

Yeah, it was gorgeous, man.

He looked very fancy on the red carpet.

I started to think, like, I wonder if, are we losing him?

Just this fancy guy?

Because next step is the Met Gala.

If we see him at the Met Gala,

I know he's got him.

I see the Met Gala.

I don't know that.

It's like once a year, it's like all these really...

Like, you have to be famous and or rich and or famous and rich to get invited to this party.

And everybody dresses up what they call stylishly, but it's absurd.

We're not.

We're not famous enough and we're not Hollywood cool enough.

Yeah, you have to be really cool.

You have to be like...

Like a Kardashian.

A super fucking cool Hollywood in-kid to get there.

In fact, if I got invited, I wouldn't go well.

Oh, come on.

What do you think of that?

I think it's like 25 grand to get in or something crazy.

Yeah, definitely.

My pants over $1,000.

Yeah.

But what do you do when you're there, though?

I think hobnob.

Probably fashion shows and shit like that, you know?

Yeah, I've never actually heard what goes on inside the gala.

It's always about the red carpet.

Where is it usually held?

New York, right?

Isn't it in the Metropolitan Museum?

Yeah, I think it's in the Metropolitan Museum.

That's why they called it Metro.

How much partying can you do in a museum, though?

It's usually very small.

It depends on what section they open up for you, I guess.

Lady Gaga with her?

I'm sure she was.

She's definitely on that in crowd.

Still?

Lady Gaga?

Yeah, still.

Oh, I think she's at this point in her career where she's like...

Choker didn't hurt her?

Choker, too?

No, I think she's like a Madonna at this point.

She's just there.

I saw a video of her in, I think it was Brazil.

And it's just, it's a sea of people.

It was like two million people to go see.

it.

Yeah, it was like two million people.

It's just you cannot

see the edges.

You can't see the back.

It's just people.

A carpet of people.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I haven't heard her name since Joker.

I didn't know if, like, this kind of stuff I don't get.

She's got an album that came out.

Yeah.

You're like, but hey, man, you know, she's trying.

Yeah.

Looks like Inspector Gadget.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, but it was, it was fun.

Fucking the horses were cool, man.

And you know, Phantom Fireworks?

Yeah.

The guy who throws the biggest party there is the guy who owns Phantom Fireworks.

That's wild.

So, like, you would think the two industries that you would never think could generate a millionaire

gum and fireworks.

Millionaire is not the right word for the fireworks.

I'm not sure.

Everybody's very careful.

The second he walks away, they're like, that guy's worth $30 billion.

Oh, my God.

I know.

And I'm like, from fucking fireworks?

And they're like, yeah, yeah.

I'm sure he's got other businesses and stuff.

Yeah, like, how come someone doesn't take a like technical that's not

somebody else can get into the fireworks game, you would think?

Like, why does he have such a

stranglehold on it?

Maybe you wake up with a fucking fuse in your bed, you know what I mean?

But he was very nice.

You know, he was fine.

I mean, look, the guy let me come into his party, so I'm like, this is great.

I love this guy.

You didn't accuse him of having monopoly in the firework industry immediately.

So the rest of us are trying to get in on it.

No, nothing like that.

Nothing like that.

I felt very out of place.

You did?

Yeah.

Really?

Did alcohol help that, though?

Oh, yeah, the alcohol helped.

And I was there with friends, but like the friends all knew each other already, you know, for 20-something years, and everybody understood the ins and outs of it.

And

just the vibe of it is something I'm not used to.

Is it more sophisticated?

Is that why you're like, is it more like where you're not going to see somebody like take their shirt off?

No, you're not going to see that.

Not in the stands.

They go to a cannonball or something.

I'm sure.

Because there's all these seats.

Like vomit from the center field.

And in the center field is like basically mud pit standing where people could buy like tickets and just go watch it from the inside of the track.

And I think that's where like the Brian Quinns of the world belong.

Yeah, there are people out there like dressed like the Pope drinking and stuff like that.

It was like a little wilder in the infield of it all.

That's where you needed to be.

That's where I belong.

But I was not.

I was in the upper crust.

Hoity-toity.

Oh, yeah.

But having a, but real, you know, so I did feel out of place for a lot of it.

You know.

A little my fair lady thing going, huh?

Yeah, and except nobody tried to make me pretty.

I had to do it myself.

But it was nice.

But they, I mean, you know, I had never really met any of those people before.

And Travis Ritt's family was just so fucking lovely.

It was unbelievable.

Yeah, so it was wild.

It was good, but I wouldn't say anything.

I don't have any real stories aside from like the general experience of being in an environment I had never been in before and having fun and yeah, losing money.

Yeah.

Getting to wear a seer sucker.

It's not many occasions where you get to wear that.

I don't know.

I think I want to change that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I want to change.

I think I want to start wearing that bad boy around.

I bought it.

Got it.

Had it tailored.

Might as well do it.

Work your way up to a $20,000 suit.

Yeah, I don't know about that, but

it's weird because it's so fancy and so

fancy and so like up a crust.

And then everybody just starts drinking immediately.

And it just like turns into like this.

Like equalizes everyone.

Well, everybody's like just kind of sauced and having fun.

And you're like, oh, it's like, it's this weird highbrow, lowbrow mix at once.

But it was kind of, it was kind of really fun, though.

Like, nobody was in a bad mood.

No fights.

You know what I mean?

It was just straight up.

Like, everybody was respectful of each other.

Everybody was having a good time.

That's why he got no stories, though.

Yeah, you're right.

You should have pulled a Germany, man.

Got into a fight, got your tooth knocked down or something.

Yeah.

Moody S back.

Just get thrown out.

And you were there for a charity, right?

Yeah, for a charity.

Yeah, they're for a charity.

So it was fun, but it was good.

And then, do you see Thunderbolts yet?

Did not.

You?

I have not, but I really want to.

Yeah, I've heard really good things about it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I have not.

I went to see Gene Simmons play in Red Bank last week.

Oh, did you go?

Yeah.

I got a ticket from Rupp for Christmas.

So it had been a long time since I had

a ticket.

And

finally,

the date came around.

And this is only the second show

that came to fruition.

He had canceled like eight

shows.

And so there was speculation that he wasn't even going to pull off this show.

Right.

Because there was another show that he did.

He only did six songs and left the stage.

Was he sick?

No, I don't know.

I think the weather was a problem.

So, but.

But how does that affect six shows?

Oh, I guess if it's an hour.

Did I say six songs?

Six songs.

Six songs.

Because the weather got bad and he had to leave the stage.

It's like, how many songs does my contract say I have to play?

Six.

We'll just keep going.

Now,

anybody who isn't familiar with Gene Simmons doesn't realize how

massive his ego has to be, right?

I mean, it's

off the charts.

It's like probably, like, I don't know if Trump and him could fit in any room together, right?

I mean, they have to be the two biggest egos on the planet.

And when you think you're also funny,

that is a fucking horrific combination.

He doesn't know funny.

Oh, man, it was fucking.

The secondhand embarrassment from the shit he was saying on stage was

just cringe.

Is it almost worth the price of admission?

It was awesome.

It was a great show, and he he sounds.

I mean, I'll give him props for his voice still sounds good, but.

I thought you said he didn't sing anymore.

Like, when I saw him with Sunday Jeff, you were like, That was Paul, the head back here.

Paul, okay.

Got it.

And you saw two imposters

in the Space Man in the cabin.

So really, you.

All I saw was Sunday Jeff.

But he probably could have played 10 more songs if not for

the insane

diversions he would have where he would just start talking and trying to tell jokes.

Like, what?

What's an example?

Like, he tried to tell a joke about

some lady

going backstage

at a football game.

She was a reporter, and she was talking to a cheerleader.

He was setting up the, this setup of the joke took 10 minutes, it felt like.

And I didn't know if he was like, okay, he's trying to catch his breath, or I don't know what's going on.

His fingers hurt from

playing the bass too hard.

I don't know why he needs this much time.

But

the punchline was somebody came out and gave him a glass and he drank it before the punchline

whereas the cheerleader told the news reporter the reason she's so popular with the band is and then he drank a he drank a he took a drink a swig out of the cup and then he sped out all this milk

to signify that she had a mouthful of cum.

Okay.

And And this landed so flat.

This kind of stuff still plays.

I mean, people don't even understand what was going on.

Maybe I didn't tell the story correctly, but

he was basically setting up a joke where the cheerleader had a mouthful of cum.

And then he drank milk and then spit it all out.

And

I even said to Rop,

I was like, wow, man, he's went from spitting blood on stage to now fucking spinning fake cum.

I go,

this is not the direction you want to go.

Thanks for the gift.

I want my money back.

It was awesome.

It was great.

It could be a phenomenal, phenomenal show if he just would play the deep cuts.

Yeah.

Play the songs that have never been performed live that people love.

You know, the old school shit.

Don't play the covers.

of

you know of Beatles songs that no one's ever heard of Van Halen songs never nobody's ever heard of.

And just stick to his catalog because he's got

such a deep catalog.

And stop telling jokes, man.

Stop telling jokes.

It's just not.

It's not going to work.

Who's the guy that's going to tell him that?

Gene, you're not funny.

The come joke isn't going over.

It's the eighth show.

Nobody's laughing.

And then he makes jokes that if they don't land the first time, he'll fucking keep hammering them home.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, much like get them.

You know, like

he thinks that the audience didn't hear it, even though he's on Mike.

Come, ladies and gentlemen, come.

Hello.

Is there anybody out there?

And he brings people up on stage, like just random people up on stage that just kills so much time.

Yeah.

And I figured out who he looks like.

It drove me fucking bonkers all night long.

I'm like, who does he fucking look like?

And somebody I know, somebody I know, and then I realize who it is, he looks like Telly Savalis in a wig.

Gene does?

Yeah.

Huh.

I finally figured out who it was.

He looks like Kojak in a, in a, like, uh.

I didn't see that one coming.

No, me neither.

Yeah, that's who I finally hit me like about an hour into the concert.

I was like, oh, fuck.

Telly in a wig.

That's who I keep seeing up there.

But

he has girl, like these ladies, and of course, the people who are at his concert are a little on the other side of 50, I would say.

Sure, yeah.

So when you're bringing up girls, like, I only want girls.

I only want girls.

So when the girls come up, they ain't, they're, they're far from girls.

They're like, they're, they're a little bit

mature ladies.

They're mature women.

They're done spitting out milk.

But of course he has to tell the joke.

Grab that mic, grab that mic.

You know how to hold it.

Hold it.

You know how to hold it.

And he does the jerk off motion.

And he didn't say it once.

He doesn't say it twice.

He says it like four or five times.

Yeah.

Oh, geez.

He's that guy.

He's that fucking relative that

you don't invite over.

Well, yeah,

you know, on Christmas and Thanksgiving, you're you're just like, you just dread it if he gets going.

Don't listen to anything your uncle says.

Yeah, yeah.

But

it was fun and it was interesting.

And I really, and the guy who paid 12 grand

to be the remote,

he just brought him up on stage constantly and

kind of berated him

in a, I guess, in a way that he thinks is funny.

He's my slave.

You got to move my mic up, tune the guitar, kind of like breaking his balls a little bit on stage.

But then he brings him out with his son.

And his son's like 17.

Sounds better than the derby.

And he starts going into, like, you think he's setting up a joke because he's like, you know, this man raised this son.

And I want everybody to give this man a round of applause.

He's a father, a father who gave instilled in his son two important lessons.

And what are those lessons?

And the father goes, no drugs and no alcohol.

And he's like, this is a good father.

And you think he's leading up to something.

And he goes, I want another round of applause for this man.

And he goes, because he's a good father.

And then he's like, that's

Gene goes on to a thing about no, that's what you need.

No drugs, no alcohol.

All right, here's cold gin.

Is he doing it on purpose to be?

He can't be that unself-aware that he's just going into a now-with song about alcohol.

Right.

And a song where it's like, Ace had a problem.

Yeah.

And he didn't sell any merch, which was weird.

That's surprising.

I had a hole in my fucking pocket ready to buy some merch of a burn and

what a missed opportunity.

I was going to get a t-shirt.

No merch.

The merch table said there will be no merch at this show.

I wonder if it's because, like, I know the basey takes a lot, a big cut of the merchandise.

So maybe they were like, fuck it, we're not giving you that much money.

Oh, right.

You know?

Yeah.

And tonight he's in Montclair, so if you got nothing to do, Q.

I can't.

I'm working tonight.

Okay.

Tonight shoot tonight.

All right.

Sound punishment.

I'm excited.

Okay.

Well, I mean, if you can maybe get out of there early, you can maybe catch the last

for a half hour.

I had a little big weekend, man.

I just get home and marry it out.

Well, I mean, if this helps, I mean, he does do the come joke late in the show, so you still have to go.

Okay, so hold on.

Apparently, he did the same joke because I read a review of the previous show.

Did that review like it?

The review was scathing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, which I don't understand why, because in a way

it's interesting because it's so awkward.

When he's not playing.

I mean, it makes it for an inter, like, because you're just like, oh, my God, I I can't believe it.

I can't believe he's fucking up there just talking for the last ten minutes instead of playing a song.

Yeah, it's fascinating to watch a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, it was.

I had

this was something I

talked with a guy

to bring up AI again.

Okay.

I talked to a guy who said

that I gave him what I told you guys, what the last AI guy told me about how we're like 10 years away from everything.

And he was like, dude, he's like, you're fucking so out of touch.

He's like, We're five years away from you just being able to make movies on your phone.

He's like, It's it's it.

So, maybe, maybe we can bring Gene back.

You know what I mean?

Like, maybe we could, we could have like mini Gene on our TV telling these jokes

and doing

five years from making a movie on your phone, he's like just by typing it into a screen.

He's like, It's just

about the prompts, about the prompts.

Wow, yeah,

scary times.

I think we're in them.

I think this is it, bud.

I was wondering.

I couldn't remember today.

It was bugging me to remember the guy's name who got hanged from the helicopter in Scarface.

And he's like, you think Blank is a rat because Sosa said so.

So

I went to Google and I looked up like Sosa quotes Scarface.

And it had a whole bunch of quotes that weren't from Sosa, that they were from Scarface.

They were from Tony, Montana.

So AI is imperfect.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Is that Google or AI?

Well, it's an AI search result provided by Google, I guess.

But is that somebody just putting in making their own memes or something?

No,

I think it takes like, doesn't it get them, doesn't it, like, grab a bunch of information and then just sort of

compile it, yeah.

And it was totally wrong.

Like, it had all these misquotes and stuff.

So yeah, it's still not quite where it needs to be.

Well, I think he was talking about in terms of like being prompted and moved.

But he was, I know, also

we're working on Google with stuff that's not what they're working with.

But

he said it's worse than I had thought.

When I had said all that stuff on that last episode, he's like, nah, he's like, that's already obsolete.

And he goes, it's already here.

He's like, they're doing it already.

And he just showed me stuff on his phone.

And you're like, this looks like a human.

He's like,

it was like some woman walking down the stairs, having a conversation, moving on, and everything.

Like, at first, I was like, what am I looking for?

Is the location AI?

Is the woman AI?

Every bit of it was AI.

And I was like, holy fuck.

I saw this app.

I can't remember what it was called, but it's basically you take a still photo.

It's like, you know, me and Gidham.

And then with AI, you can make it look like we kiss.

Yeah.

I've seen a lot of that.

That's going to be illegal.

Illegal, you think?

Well, there are already

bills going to Congress to make AI porn illegal.

So you can't make.

You know, you and Giddam kiss and

most likely lead to more

graphic shit than that.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like making your friends kiss is like

a joke, yeah,

whereas like the AI porn could spell big ramifications, definitely, yeah.

So, I gotta make, I gotta make that fucking get him Johnson porn quick before the law gets

exactly

Patreon this month,

two beards, one cup.

Oh, Lord.

Lordy, Lorsh.

That should be against the law.

How do you guys feel about your local airport being a fucking shit show?

Dude.

New Jersey, huh?

Leaving for Vegas on Thursday.

Did you hear about it?

No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

New airport is voted the worst airport in the world,

not even the United States, for cancellations,

safety issues,

staffing shortages, cancellations.

Is it their fault?

Yeah, apparently they cut so much staffing that now it's just dangerous to get a lot of people.

Well, they cut staffing, and there are guys that quit.

And then there was an incident the other day where

the radar,

what are we called, radar?

Doppler.

Doppler.

Not the doppler.

It went blank for 90 seconds.

They couldn't talk to anybody.

They couldn't see anybody.

Minute and a half.

Like, it's astounding that nothing crashed.

Oh, my God.

Well, they need new management.

Yeah.

They need new management.

They said they also need to upgrade everything.

Like, I saw

it was Chuck Schumer talking about how

it came down to a copper wire that got fried, and that's what caused the outage.

And he's like, why are we working with copper when we need fiber?

I'm like, who just told him about fiber?

I thought I ate fiber in the morning.

How do you upgrade it when the shit never stops coming in and leaving?

That's what I was wondering.

Like, how do you upgrade a system?

You use a second system while you're using the first still.

And then you just integrate it.

Yeah, kind of like a new bridge, maybe.

Yeah, I think that's.

Because they built that new terminal.

Terminal A is new there.

Yeah, but copper's more reliable.

Than fiber?

Yeah, absolutely.

How do you know that?

Because that's why everybody's trying to steal it.

No, no, it's more valuable.

And they rip it out of fucking houses.

No, that's because they can sell it to a scrap place.

No one's ripping out fiber fucking cables out of houses.

Yeah, because you can't sell it to a scrapyard.

That's the only reason.

No, it's because it's just a wild.

Even crackheads now.

We're stripping this house of fiber.

What do you think that me and Brian should feel ashamed because Nork Airport?

I haven't stepped in an airport since 1995.

I mean, this is $5 a word, bro.

It's not tax dollars.

Isn't that

a private airport?

It's federal, I think, right?

Oh, yeah.

So it's not just New Jersey.

This is

probably federal.

I got JFK right up right nearby.

JFK is a great airport.

How often do you fly in a JFK?

I fly almost exclusively out of Newark.

I love Newark Airport, but I was shocked by that fucking airport.

I couldn't believe it because

it's usually a pretty smooth

flight.

There's never a lot of security when I go.

You get through security pretty quickly,

that kind of thing.

And like I said, I'm leaving for Vegas in two days this Thursday.

And I'm like, is it going to be late?

Is it going to be delayed?

Is it going to fly at all?

It's scary shit, bro.

But if it does fly,

how safe am I?

I don't know.

And what are you going to do in Vegas?

I'm going to visit her parents.

And there's a couple podcasts that are having a little fest out there that I'm going to go see.

You're not going to sphere much.

If there's anything playing, yeah.

That's one.

The Eagles are there.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, that's got to be a good show.

I hate the Eagles.

You hate the Eagles, man.

You have no taste.

You have an absolutely zero taste.

I want to see some Diamond.

I want to see some Eagles.

Diamond's going to fucking.

Diamond couldn't fucking fund a fucking two minutes of fucking footage at the sphere.

Not even a minute could he afford of the money he needed to sink in to do a proper show at the sphere.

He could sing one note and be like, that's it.

Good night.

Thank you for coming.

That would be about it, probably.

Go see anything you can.

Anything?

Anything you can.

All right, I'll check it out.

Those tickets are crazy, though, right now for the Eagles.

Expensive?

Yeah.

They just added a bunch of new shows.

Did they?

Yeah, so maybe it'll be a little lighter.

Okay.

Yeah, I was going to say, I skipped out on Chiller Theater because I'm like, I'm outpriced by this shit.

I'm like,

for me and Mary Beth to get it.

Because the only reason I was going to go was because they had

three cast members from Too Close for Comfort, and I've been watching Too Close for Comfort lately.

Oh, get out of here.

That's

Jim J.

Bullock.

Yeah.

Sarah or Lydia Corneille and Deborah von Volkenberg or something.

Oh, wow.

Jim J.

Bullock's still alive?

Still alive, yeah.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, that's what Frank said, too.

Frank Five was like, he's still alive.

I thought he died of AIDS.

Yeah, the Center Square.

Didn't he go away?

Yeah.

Oh, good.

He was so funny on Hollywood Squares.

Yeah, he's funny in this show, too.

Like, you can see, like, you can tell the moment when they're like, we need more Monroe.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, now all of a sudden Monroe lives in the apartment with them.

Right.

Was he

Monroe gay on the show or no?

He was more asexual.

Like, he did show interest in a woman a couple times.

Once it turned out to be transvestite.

There's a lot of transvestite stuff on that show.

It was a go-to back in the day.

It really was, yeah.

You need something funny.

Slip a man in the dress.

And Uncle Milty fucking

conservative Ted Knight.

And that's it.

Oh, Ted Knight, man.

He's amazed at everything.

The way he orders his 23-year-old daughters around, like what they're going to do and what they're not going to do, they don't even live in the apartment with him.

They pay rent.

They live in the downstairs apartment, but he's like, you're not going out there.

You're not wearing that.

You're not doing this.

He was still the man of the house, bro.

He really was, yeah.

He argues with the mom who's Alice and the honeymooners.

Oh, really?

I didn't remember that.

Forgot about that.

That was one of the shows that I watched, but I don't remember much of it at all.

I didn't remember a lot of it either, aside from just the main characters.

But I didn't remember hardly any episodes.

It's not that great.

What are you watching it on?

It's on Peacock.

Peacock.

Yeah.

Get in there on that.

Also started watching because you guys are salivating over it.

I started watching Reacher.

Oh, yeah.

We were to get up to him.

Second season, second episode.

Yeah.

What did you think of the first season?

Loved it.

That's good.

Want to be Reacher.

I want to have Reacher's body.

I want to have Reacher's steely gaze.

Steely gaze is something.

You fail to mention the only thing that you could do is have his discipline and fucking um

code of ethics i'm more like that was much easier to do than than the body and you're like you immediately go to like well that's not going to happen but the thing i could do you don't even mention

i'm more likely to get the abs than speech out my code of ethics yeah but but i but i mean i couldn't even live by his code of ethics he's he's like he's a killer Yeah, but he kills the right people, though.

He does.

He doesn't make any mistakes.

No.

He kills a lot of people and he doesn't ask a lot of questions.

And sometimes I think about it where I'm just like, what if that guy was like a cousin that just stood in for the day and they never told him that he was a henchman?

He shouldn't have been there then.

I guess that's not really how the court system works.

But yeah, I guess reaching out.

Do you know his body count over the three seasons?

I know it.

You know it?

Yeah, no, what is it?

Over under?

Go ahead, Brian.

What do you think?

I know you haven't seen

season three.

Season three yet, but he's killing a lot of people, and he's mad that the special investigators are getting knocked off one by one.

I'm going to say his body count is 150.

In three seasons, I'll be back.

These seasons.

That'd be 50 a season.

Yeah, I think it's still in the 90s.

I think it's in the 90s.

Yeah.

You would both be wrong and over.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it's 60-something.

Okay, all right.

I think it was 60 on the nose or 60-something.

Still a lot of fun.

20 kills per season, which is more than one per episode.

Is that

race 60 humans?

Some of them shot in the back.

Is that a serial killer?

He doesn't lose any sleep over it.

He has no little cracks joking in the moment.

He doesn't lose it.

No conscious whatsoever about it.

He's never like.

Which I understand.

They tried to kill him most of the time.

Well, they killed his brother.

Yeah,

how many tears are you going to shed for these scumbags?

Right.

But there is no,

like,

it doesn't weigh him down

emotionally at all.

Not even for a moment.

Even like, leave him cracking bones and like

a corpse's bones and folding them up like accordions.

It doesn't leave a mark on him at all.

No, it's just what he needs to do.

Did you finish season three?

Not yet.

No, I'm halfway through.

So good.

Yeah.

I don't know which is better, season one or three.

It's that close to Nicole.

It's only because I was away that I, and then I had Wright's Gemstones to finish upside in.

Did you know what's coming next?

Did you hear the news, the Reacher Universe news?

No, what?

Solo show.

Oh, yeah, I read that.

I was wondering, like, I've only watched two episodes of the second season, like I said, but so far, I'm like, is this character deserving of her own series?

Oh, Neegly, they gave it to Neegly?

Neely.

Nealy.

Neely.

God.

She's going to cancel.

What the fuck?

Jeez, Louise.

Don't reach your fucking fans.

You're a poser, bitch.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'll fold you up like an accordion if you say her name wrong again.

I'll show myself the door and just don't shoot me in the back on the way.

How the fuck can you say you're a fan and fucking butcher that name?

I told you to watch it.

Neely.

Neely's getting her own show.

Okay.

Okay.

But it's spelled.

Okay.

All right.

You watch it with subtitles then?

Sometimes, yeah, I have to.

Because I didn't even realize that's how her name was spelled.

But I don't know.

I think she.

I think she's awesome.

Yeah, I would think she's not a Mary Sue.

I haven't really gotten that much exposure to her yet, so that's why I was wondering if she was deserving of her own spin.

Is that what they call the girls who do everything?

The Mary Sue?

Mary Sue, yeah.

Yeah.

I don't, no, I like her.

I'm all for her getting her own spin-off show.

I'll watch it.

I wonder,

I am glad that she gets it.

I think she's a great character, and she does a good job with that role.

I just wonder, like, but she's in Reacher so much.

Like, it's almost like she's already on a show.

Like, it's funny.

But I wonder if Reacher will go over to her show.

I think absolutely.

Yeah, right.

Definitely the first episode.

Well,

I saw Wikipedia.

I looked it up and it had the cast of the first season, and he is in there.

Okay.

Oh, you already know already.

Yeah, it said that he was in it.

And that means they're put, I don't know if they're even doing a season four of Reacher, but if it does happen, I guess it's not next year, but it'll be the next year.

Because of that show?

Because of that show, yeah.

I don't know if I like that.

I don't like that either, but you know, what are you going to do?

Yeah.

I'm sure he'll be on it so much, it's just going to be like another season of Reacher.

I would hope so, but I'm sure they want to make her be able to stand on her own two feet without him, though.

Which she does.

Yeah, I would watch it.

That's kind of a character I agree with you.

I kind of dig.

It is a little bit in the second season how they're all like, it's so so lame.

Like when they're bonding in the bar fight and stuff like that, you're like,

Season two is a fucking slog.

There's probably some corn in there for sure.

There's a lot of corn in there.

Even the way their name, like I was like, they couldn't come up with a better name than the special investigators.

And they say it with such sincerity, too.

Like, I'm fucking around.

I am in love with Reacher so much, I even investigated the two

Tom Cruise movies.

What'd you think?

I didn't like them.

I didn't like him at all.

I didn't like them at all.

And I wonder if that's because of this guy owns the character now.

And it's almost like a it's ridiculous to see someone else try to pull it off, even though I had never seen these movies.

I didn't even know they existed, to be honest with you.

They came under the radar, I feel like, for Tom Cruise.

They were moderate hits, but like, is he the killing machine in it?

Is it the same thing?

He kills, but

and he's, you know, he beats up like five guys at once.

Yeah.

Is Neely in it?

There is no Neely.

No, no, there's no Neely.

But there's there's things that

they explore in the movies that work far better in the TV show because they have more time to breathe and more time to

give you an insight into it rather than just throw it away as a

one-offline.

Okay.

But I wonder if they'll even tackle those books that those movies are based on since, you know.

Since those stories...

I mean, if there's 27 books, I guess you'd have to.

Oh, there's that many books.

Oh, okay.

Holy shit, really?

He writes a book a year, this guy.

Oh, wow.

Lee Childs, whatever his name is.

Which is good for him.

Yeah, right?

Yeah.

I like that.

Prolific.

I'm fucking down with that.

All right.

What's going on here?

Yeah, that's the Tom Cruise Reacher movie.

But yeah,

I wonder what Tom Cruise thinks, because this is probably the first time anybody's ever.

Oh, Tom Cruise, though?

Yeah.

I mean, he can't feel bad.

You look at that guy.

You're like,

that's who should have played Reacher from the second.

And do you have...

Do you, because me and Genem think he is, do you think Reacher is on the spectrum?

The character?

Yeah, I think so.

And I don't think that's what Tom wasn't willing to go there.

He wasn't playing it like that?

No.

Okay.

I mean, I think it's pretty fucking clear in the show that he is.

He just clocks out until there's something to do.

He's on the bed just looking out the window.

It's pretty wild.

He's got that over-exaggerated sense of right and wrong, you know what I mean?

And you're not close to being done yet?

Yeah, can you try to finish it so we can talk about it next?

I can finish it, yeah.

There's only like four episodes.

But I like the last episodes really good.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just wanted to get to Righteous Gemstones before I heard spoilers.

You don't watch that, right?

What?

Righteous Gemstones on HBO.

It's Danny McBride and

who's his father on the show?

Oh, John Goodman.

John Goodman's his dad and their preachers and stuff like that.

It's such a fucking great show.

Yeah, you said, like, I usually wait with things like this to binge them.

Like, I don't want to watch them week by week.

But

I broke that rule and watched it like two weeks ahead of time.

And the first episode, you're like, you can watch the first episode and it doesn't really affect the rest of the show.

Yeah.

I wanted to see that series.

Wow, what?

With that first episode when Eli Jones.

Was it ended with him running over someone or something?

Well, no, it's the Old West one.

It's the third season.

Oh, the third season.

Yes.

I wanted to see that show.

Oh, it was so fucking good.

Yeah.

Oh, I love that episode.

The first episode of the third season was a flashback to the Civil War.

I was fucking.

Oh, it's a period piece?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's an entire episode about how the Gemstones got started.

It was pretty good.

What are the Gemstones?

Are we talking like that?

It's their family name.

That's the last name.

We're talking about Infinity Stones.

No, no, no.

That's Celeste's name.

They're preachers.

Yeah, it's a family, like a real leg.

They have the mega churches, so it's like a really wealthy

preacher family.

I love that show.

Yeah, that's good.

I'm sad it's over.

All right.

We're all going to save your

wounds with

a little read here.

Q.

Dads teach us a lot how to fix things for ourselves, how to pick ourselves up and power on, even how to do, even how to make do with less, so the family has more.

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My father still carries it around like a little AM radio with him.

Yeah, I love it.

Speaking of battery, with Raycon's quick charge function, just 10 minutes of charging you to

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No, he always listens to AM.

He's always listening to one of those.

I didn't think there's any stations still on AM.

What is there?

Like four stations that come in, click on it.

I think WABC is like one of those political stations still.

Oh, yeah.

The guy still gets riled up.

Yeah.

After all this time, he can still get mad about the world.

I don't know if he's mad as much as he's.

I don't even know if he can hear it, to tell you the truth anymore.

What pisses him off at this point?

I don't think anything anymore.

I don't think he listens to get it riled up.

I think he just listens for the news, just so there's something to listen to.

But yeah, like he's, my God, I went to see him the other day.

He's so skinny now.

You know, because he's been going to chemo and all that.

My good lord.

He's just thin, thin, huh?

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Dude.

Lucky bastard.

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I used to have a Fred Flintstone.

It was the shape of his face.

Like it was just his head.

It was a radio.

Oh, yeah?

And on the side was you could play with the volume and the

dial where you could change it.

I had a Snoopy that was similar to that.

Yeah.

What happened to that back in the day?

Ooh, it probably broke and eventually got thrown out of the toilet.

There it is.

Well, it's going to bring back memories.

God, you found it.

Yeah,

I used to

listening to fucking Elton John, Philadelphia Freedom, rocking out.

It's a $50 bid, bro.

Get in there.

You know that it gets no fucking

a ten on it.

He could make it into a speaker for you.

You think the raycons would work on the Fred Flintstone head?

There's ways to make this happen.

The Fred Flintstone head is probably the same tech they're using at Nork Airport.

Oh, you think there's copper in that, Fred head?

Strip it out, yeah.

Oh, man.

Dude, I'm going to see Stranger Things this week.

Yes.

You are going to have an erection, so make sure you bring a towel.

Make sure you wear loose

pants, maybe sweatpants.

I feel like I'm going to fantasy.

Great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I cannot wait to hear what you think.

I am going to be stunned if you're not like gaga over the moon.

I trust your opinion.

Although you did love Spider-Man turn off the table.

Yeah, I think there.

I don't know if we jive on the same things.

I feel like...

Well, you liked Back to the Future.

I did, but I, yeah, but I loved Spider-Man and you hated it.

Well, I saw it three times.

I kind of hated that one.

You know, I just went to go see the train wreck aspect of it, but the performances were fine.

But yeah, I'm excited to see you.

Did you see King Kong on Broadway?

I did.

Did you like that?

Because I liked it.

I thought the puppet was cool.

Yeah, but the rest, I'm like, I don't think so.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think

in terms of Broadway,

I wonder if you're into a little bit more of the glitz and I'm more into the

masculine part of things.

Well, I mean, well, I like the giant monkey puppet.

What else in the play was masculine that I missed?

All the singing.

I'm more into the whole fairy thing.

Well, I'm, you know,

shiny stuff,

glitter,

and sequins.

I do love that stuff.

You're right.

You're not wrong.

I love a good synchronized dance.

But let me me know what you think of it.

Yeah, no songs, right?

There is music.

But yeah, it's not a musical event.

Yeah, there's really no songs.

It's unique.

I've never seen a play like it before.

Great.

I cannot wait.

I mean, you probably have seen stuff that's not musical-based, but this is the first time I ever have, and it was...

It flew by, and it's almost three hours long.

I saw Bruce Willis in Misery,

and I I guess this was like early signs of what was going on in his head because he had that earpiece in, and every single line was fed to him.

It was such a disappointment.

How do you

how does that hurt the performance?

Because the she'll say her line, it was Laurie Metcalfe, was Annie, and then it would be like a pause, and then he'd say his line.

So it was like the lines were getting directly fed to him over the over the thing.

You could see him listening to it and go,

yeah, it was kind of a bummer.

Yeah, that's uh, because that's a very unnatural unnatural way to speak, given that that's it wasn't every scene, but it was a bunch of the scenes, yeah.

Can you get your money back from that?

Like if you make a big enough stink?

I don't know.

Like tweet, like go public about it.

I mean, it's John McClain.

I was just sitting here looking at Broadway.

Like you can't at the theater online and on Twitter and make a big enough fucking

bitchy fucking stink.

I guess I could.

Yeah,

I don't want to.

These seats weren't comped, you know.

Broadway doesn't comp seats.

I know.

They do not.

Yeah, so everything, so I paid for that shitty performance.

That was the one that James Kahn was in, right?

Yeah, movie, yeah, yeah.

The movie version.

It was good.

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Mary Beth makes Factor all the time, so I'm a Factor guy.

I know you eat Factor.

IQ Factor, yes, sir.

So if you want to be like me and Q.

I like Factor.

Do you?

Yeah, come in asking me if I like Factor.

I just assume you don't like it.

I love it.

Okay.

I was wrong.

There's nothing

more that is satisfying than getting home and getting my factor meal.

Getting your factor on?

Deb.

Where's my factor?

I'm four blocks away.

Start.

Put my factor in.

I'm famished for factor.

There you go.

She's like, who is this?

He's trying to get wrong.

He's driving on the wrong side of the room.

One eye's looking one way, one eye's looking the other way.

Get my factor ready.

This smells and tastes like Elios pizza.

No, no, no, it's factor.

It's factor.

It's factor.

It's healthy.

It's for your on-the-go lifestyle.

Really?

Because it tastes like Elios.

Factor is so fucking good.

I love Factor.

I love Factor.

Is this Coke can Factor Coke?

It is.

That's so weird.

You should ask.

Oh, man.

I wish I could have discussed this.

Why isn't everybody fucking eating and drinking factor and being healthy like me?

Like me?

Yo, it's expensive, but it's so fucking worth it.

Never paid that much for a slice of pizza before.

Don't you fucking, don't you bow to the van and cut this out, man.

I know you're worried.

I might have cut it this way.

All right, don't you cut this out.

I know you're worried.

I can see you sweating over there.

Sorry, factornath.com slash TSD50 off.

I see you're fucking beats of sweat on your forehead.

I'm like, well, how much am I going to do this?

Am I going to have to cut?

Not so far.

This is fine.

Yeah, this is fine.

Walt's fevered, factor dreams.

So,

get started at factormeals.com slash TST.

What should I do?

Walt, listen.

You better email Factor now.

Tell them you're just kidding.

Use code TESD50Off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

That's code TESD50Off at factormeals.com slash T-E-S-D-50Off for 50% off plus free shipping.

All right.

That's it.

That's Factor.

Are you going to listen to Ming Chen's stand-up?

Want to hear some Ming Chen's stand-up?

All right, tell me about this.

So, this is the second time he's done it.

He sent it to me.

The first time, if you you remember, we went over it.

He was in New Mexico.

Yeah.

Not a very great show,

if you recall.

Even he admits it.

He admits it, too.

So I think he's.

He's worked on his craft, though, since then.

I think he's, I wouldn't say honed.

I haven't listened to it yet.

I want to be just as surprised as you guys.

Great.

So what is this?

So this is Ming in Alaska.

Alaska.

Yeah.

The Last Frontier.

Wow.

They are fucking starved for entertainment in Alaska, I I bet you.

There's a big market for stand-up comedy in Alaska, right?

There's nothing to laugh at there.

It's all fucking.

Maybe you can find something, but you're not a professional comedian.

I'm not.

So Ming Chen

Chen is now.

He's going to give us his observations.

When the sun never rises, what's it like months and months of darkness?

You need some fucking Ming Chen

to

shine a light in your fucking dark soul when you live in Alaska.

So this is Ming Chen's second stand-up at Chilicoot Charlie's in Anchorage, Alaska.

This is recent.

This was April 29th.

So, you just tell me when to pause.

Okay.

Well, he's got to have the video on.

Yeah, that won't sound right, though.

It won't sound right.

It'll play right from his phone.

It'll be right on the mic.

Go tell your friends, like, man, aren't they quits the other night?

I mean, who wouldn't believe what happened?

Fucking Jackie Chan came in and tried to do the stand on comedy.

He fucking sucked, man.

All right.

I'm already listening to some Ribald laughing in the background

at a Jackie Chan.

Why is Jackie Chen doing

a stand-up in Anchorage, Alaska?

It's a hot crowd.

Isn't Jackie Chen in his late 70s at this point?

Jackie Chan's a weird reference.

He's a little old.

I'm not sure who the go-to Asian reference is these days, but yeah, you're right.

Okay.

Fucking rush-hours, piece of shit.

Oh,

shit!

Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

No, no.

Anyways, um,

you might not believe this, but I used to be on TV.

I was on a TV show called Comic Book Man.

He went out after the one day.

Man, it was fucking great, man.

I used to get like fat paychecks, fucking limousines,

like all the white women I could eat.

It was like

going blue.

All the white women you could eat.

Oh,

Wow.

Wait, you guys got fat paychecks and limousine rides?

Not that I recall.

Well, I mean, I think that was the only paycheck he was getting.

I mean, he had been fired

from unceremonious.

I guess the limousines would be.

When we went to a con, I think we got limousines.

Didn't he wasn't he working, though?

It was just the last season that he was.

I think it was like two seasons.

At least two.

At least two.

Maybe.

Maybe it's only one.

I don't remember.

It was so long ago.

Right.

They did a little cost-cutting, snipping out Ming Chen.

Yeah, yeah.

They got rid of some of the dry wood.

You know,

that's a good term.

I think deadwood is what you're looking for, yeah.

That's what he has, is drywood.

But all you can eat, white women.

All you can eat white women.

All right.

That wasn't really my experience, but I don't even know what it means.

Well, he's married, so

I'm sure there's a divorce lawyer out there that'd be very curious.

Or he's going to explain to him.

I think he's setting up the joke.

Yeah,

I got faith in my boy.

And now he does shit.

He's standing up comedy at a place called Joku Charlie.

There's one lady who must be on laughing gas or something.

She has not stopped laughing the entire time.

And that's, he has learned something.

That's what you do when you are in a small, like, no-name comedy club.

You insult it.

Yeah, I thought the same thing.

I was like, ah, he's taking shots at the club.

Yeah.

These guys are good enough to bell.

I think that's for an order, like, a food pickup.

You're like, you know,

I think you're right.

Yeah, I think that was for a wait or a waitress to go get the food and bring it to a table.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay.

I thought they were punctuating.

He's not at Rascals.

You're right.

He's at Chilico Charlie's.

This place is great, though.

I was here on Friday.

I saw a banger from the Stack, and I saw the greatest thing.

I saw a fight here, man.

I saw a fight.

I know a rare occurrence here.

Like, really weak shit.

He was like,

I was like, yeah, but I love you guys because I'm going to go back to Jersey if I can.

I saw this fight, man.

I broke it up.

Like, I shaved all these white women.

I shaved back in back there.

Second mention of white women.

What's going on with me?

He has a white woman.

An honest question.

How often do you think he, you know, I know we speculate and make jokes, but how often do you think he's home?

A year?

How many nights do you think he spends in his own bed?

In his own bed?

Yeah, in his own bed.

I think he eventually makes it to his own bed, but I think he's probably not home.

If you had to take a guess, like you had to

like $1,100

on the ponies,

on this losing horse.

How many nights do you think he spends sleeping in his own bed?

From the just

gleaning it, gleaming it from what you see on social media.

He's never home.

He's never home, no.

365 nights, how many are at home?

I mean, it's over under 100.

Oh, I think over.

I think over 100.

I think over 100.

Yeah, yeah, because I think even though he's out and he comes home late, he still does have to go home to go to sleep.

He's home during the week.

Yeah, I would say weekdays mostly.

Yeah.

I don't know if he sleeps at the studio.

So you're talking probably, I mean, if you're just talking weekends,

that's eight days out of the month,

not including travel.

So let's say there's a day of travel on each end.

That's 16 days.

Right, 96 days a year that he's gone out.

It's a lot.

It's a heavy schedule, but he seems to love it.

All right.

Let's see if Ming gets any more white wins.

Oh, yeah, we're still going.

Oh, yeah.

How long is this set?

Five minutes and 25 seconds.

They carry me out on their shoulders.

So

thanks for making me look cool, guys.

You guys are awesome.

So the reason I'm here, like, why the fuck did you come all the way out here from New Jersey?

I came out here from Comic-Con, something called Bertha Comic-Con.

Woo!

Had a great time.

I don't know if you guys ever go to Comic-Con.

They have these cosplayers.

They get dressed up in costumes.

I met this girl.

She had all this armor, like this steel armor, like 50 pounds of armor.

I was like, hey, man,

wear that armor.

I'm going to this place called Coops tonight.

And it's really relevant.

It really helped me out.

It's almost like they're punctuating his jokes with that fucking bell.

People just left.

What was the name of that?

Was that a strip club, you think, he mentioned?

Oh, I didn't pick up on that.

I didn't pick up on it.

He said said he's wearing a suit of armor to go somewhere tonight oh i thought it was to go here i thought that's what the same name yeah the same name that's what i thought it might be something different though when does the joke start i don't know he's he's just this is not stand-up no this is just going up there and saying stuff like even even the fight story it's like well if it

if it didn't pan out to be a good fight why talk about it has there been a joke yet

maybe the jackie change the white women thing that what i where the white women at all the white women i could eat that's a joke

All right.

That's being very gracious with the fucking police definition of the white woman.

Yeah, I mean, Gene Simmons looks like fucking...

He looks like Richard Pryor.

He looks like George Carlin compared to Ming.

Let's see what else.

No, seriously, this is the best bar in Anchorage.

I feel like am I right?

Yeah!

I think there's four people in there.

You think there's four people in there?

Yeah, really.

It sounds like there's a lot of echoey, so I'm not hearing.

Yeah, I'm not hearing that.

He's ordering all the food then.

That's true.

Two of them are wearing four-colored demon shirts.

No doubt.

I think the people from QS, the Alaskans that were in QS.

Oh, those are the things that they're doing.

That must be them, actually.

Right.

So they would definitely hide it.

Do you guys know this place called Asia Garden?

People dare disparage you.

No, you're not.

I'm about to, man.

I'm Asian.

I'm alive to disparage Asia Garden, bro.

Taking it back, I earned that shit, man.

First of all,

why is there a fucking DeLorean parked outside?

He hasn't changed one iota.

Since fucking day one, he doesn't prepare for anything.

He just fucking goes up and just fucking says shit.

Like podcasting, no prep.

Just fucking thinks he could just talk and fucking, it's entertaining.

It's nothing has changed in 20 years.

Why would it change?

He's killing it.

No, that's not killing it.

It's weird.

That's not killing it.

It's not.

It's not.

It's brutal.

He's in Alaska.

He's in Alaska, yes.

But there is no like...

No prep work at all.

He's not willing to give one iota to working at it.

He's just like...

He doesn't want to pay his dues.

no.

Like, he's like, I'm not going to.

What dues is he going to pay his dues?

All he's got to do is just write five or six jokes.

Well, he has to have a

white woman you can eat.

He's down.

He's got one down.

One down.

Next joke.

That is not a joke.

It is a joke.

I don't think that's the joke.

I don't think that he was trying to even be funny.

All the white women I can eat.

That's an exaggeration of a humorous statement.

Okay, explain the joke to me then.

How does it work on a level that makes someone laugh?

Is it supposed to be a joke about eating Chinese?

It's surprising, isn't it?

Like, it's supposed to be a dyslexia joke?

Yeah, in a little bit of a way, he's.

It's the opposite of people going, like, I like to eat Asian?

Yeah.

Sure, it is.

Like, you're just saying, yeah, now.

You've always done this.

You've always defended him.

I love the guy.

You're right.

I love him too, but come on.

He does not fucking put any work into his craft.

But that's his style.

That's his personal style.

That's not his style.

That's just fucking being lazy.

It's like not wanting to do the fucking

groundwork.

He pulls it off.

He just like, this is the problem with, one of the problems with Mings.

It's like he starts a thought and he's like, yeah, so I went to this place, Asia Gardens, and then he gets a big response because it's like, it's a local restaurant.

Yes.

And then he's like, why is there a DeLorean outside?

Is he talking about outside the restaurant?

Is he talking about outside

Charlie's?

Both that restaurant and that DeLorean got a big...

Big response from the audience.

Right.

He's just, as long as he just names stuff that's in the area, he's going to get applause.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, that's his style.

That can't,

you can't, like, go on tour with that, though.

You can't do the circuit.

You have to have such a captive audience.

I don't know that you can't.

Can you imagine him doing like five minutes in the cellar with this shit?

Look, man, he's a young comic.

He's just starting out.

He's doing the right thing.

He's putting in the work.

He's going to open mic nights and he's he's testing out material.

That is not material.

It is material.

It's not material.

It's not good material.

All the white women you could eat, you can't make that.

You don't think you could turn that into a funny joke?

You might be able to turn that.

Yeah, I know you're hanging on to that one for dear life.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

You got to let that one go.

But why?

Somebody's got to stick up for him.

Why?

Because I know, like, as friends, yeah.

Like, yeah, you should support your boy and everything.

But doesn't he also need to hear a little dose of reality?

Like, do a little bit of fucking homework before you get up there.

Like, the night before, like, fucking try to come up with some actual jokes.

Start carrying around a notebook, maybe.

If you're going to post it, did he post this?

Yeah, it's on YouTube.

Did he post this to you?

He did, yeah.

Yeah.

So you're putting it out there for consumption.

Yeah.

You should have a little bit more pride in your work.

But what do you want him to do?

Like, what is he not providing you?

Jokes.

We've only listened to like a minute.

Okay, all right, fair enough.

We're actually at three minutes, and

we're over halfway done.

All right, so he's got to go.

Let's go.

You're right.

Maybe I jump into gun here.

Maybe there is going to be some fucking killer material that he's going to whip out.

You know, he's got to have a closer.

Yes.

No, I met the owner, and I, you know, as we talked to, we have the same last name.

I made friends with her.

She was like my mom.

I went up and did karaoke.

I came back and I said, How did you think I did?

She's like, why did you sing like a doctor or a lawyer?

Like,

listen to that happy crowd.

Fucking Asian gardens, man.

Let's start.

You guys know Blizzard Darwin's theory?

I went to Blizzard Darwin's theory.

I'm like, what's so special about this place?

Like, oh, we feature all female bar techniques.

I'm like, that was a female one?

Wow.

I like that.

I like that.

It's risky.

Yeah, it's risky in this day and age.

It's risky to specifically call out the place and the bar tour.

And the bar tour.

I went to a bar in town.

It was supposed to have all female.

He's like naming and shaming.

Another big reaction, though.

Yeah.

Another big reaction.

How many highs do you guys need?

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

I mean, I take it all back.

This is fucking phenomenal.

I don't know why he hasn't got his own fucking Netflix special.

Maybe Sal could open for him.

It's funny.

Please, more, more.

You guys ever seen a pile?

What do you guys call the Pioneer Bar?

Oh, yeah!

Or I guess if you guys call it the Pyo,

as in Pyo shit?

Fuck the Pioneer.

All right, all right, all right.

Stop it, please, right there.

I mean, edgy material here.

Fuck the Pioneer bar.

He's

taking names.

But he did just say it went to the Pioneer Party.

You guys like that?

Fuck the Pioneer Bar.

Like, what?

Yeah, why bring it up?

What's the point?

But he's got to be leading up to something, Walt.

That's not wasted material.

You'd think, though, this is all major setup.

Everything that he's done

is going to come together.

He's going to tie it all together.

I believe so.

He's a brilliant bow.

I believe so, yeah.

Like the best of them do.

You are optimistic.

It's going to be a mic drop moment when he's.

All these disparate threads, he's going to be tying together into one insightful knot at the end.

All right, so he just shit on the Pioneer board.

Look at this.

Look at the size of his cuffs.

I know, those are cuffed up.

Those are fucking heavy cuffs.

I got another man from Save Old Dog.

Another pussy joke.

Home run.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

That was a pussy joke?

Yeah.

How so?

He said it was a, what is it, Bush Company?

Alaskan Bush Company.

I have nothing bad to say about that.

Loves Bush, dude.

That's a stretch.

I guess

you're seeing the forest between the trees that I'm not seeing, right?

I'm not hearing what you're hearing.

What are you talking about?

He said, I went to Alaskan Bush.

He goes, I like that place.

Why do you think he meant that?

This is like Stephen Wright shit.

Either you get it or you don't get it.

Okay.

Which also is, you know, George Carlin shit.

Yeah.

You know, you got to pay attention to it.

I get it.

Forget about that.

Fucking hold towns?

Like, what the hell is it?

What's so big in pull towns?

I know what, yeah, so I played totally.

I was like, you know, scratching in the gum, he pulled these perforating things.

And I was like, what the hell is this?

But then I started pants.

Like, whoo, I got a horseshoe.

And I started winning like a dollar here, dollar there.

They're cracked, baby.

Then I got really hope, man.

I got really hopeful.

Then I was like, Megan, give me 40 more.

Megan, give me 60 more.

Now I have no money to get home.

I'm stuck here, man.

Good God.

Good laughing.

This is the ramblings of

a drunk man.

Yeah.

Schizophrenic has fucking

got more clarity and fucking.

You also said he didn't prep.

He's reading this entire thing with his phone.

That's even fucking worse.

He prepped.

This is what he prepped to go on stage with.

Yeah.

Alaska and Bush Company.

I got nothing to say bad about them.

That's right.

Onto joke seven.

That was joke six.

Yeah, but I see Doros up there with a notebook.

You know what I mean?

They all have their process.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of comics do use notebooks and phones these days, but I think the stuff that's on the notebook or phone is usually better than this.

This is just his phone.

He forgot.

Yeah.

He was fearful he would forget this.

Just naming places.

That's his main act is naming places in the area.

He was worried.

He would forget this.

It's a pro.

He made sure he didn't forget it is the way that I look at it.

It's like in big fucking big bold writing.

It says eat white women on

the stone.

Underlined six times.

White is underlined.

All right, here we go.

We got another minute of this.

Oh, wait a minute.

We missed a sucking dick joke.

That he made a joke that he would be sucking dick at a...

At a gas, at the gaslight.

Oh, because he spent all his money on scratch-offs.

That's right, so he's got to suck dick to get home.

That's right.

That's right.

That's a classic comical conundrum.

Yeah.

That's what they call hack.

Yeah.

It would be self-deprecating.

How many dick-sucking jokes have you two done?

And now suddenly it's not good for the stage.

No, no, no.

You're rubbing off on me with your hoity-toity fucking

tucky derby shit.

I feel fancy now just being around you.

I would have to imagine that I have told

over a thousand

in the history of Tome Steve Dave.

Yeah.

Each and every one.

Yeah, that's 1.2 episodes.

Absolutely

galaxies better than what he's fucking saying up there.

Right.

He doesn't know how to teletend.

You're a master podcast.

I'm back.

I'm back.

You're a master podcaster, man.

This is his second time doing stand-ups.

So is he.

But he's not podcasting.

He's doing stand-up.

It's a different animal.

You're right.

You're right.

One other thing I noticed, like, it's fucking light out here, right?

It doesn't get dark until like 10:30, 11 here.

How the fuck does anyone get laid here?

It's like last call, like, they turn on all the lights.

Like, oh, God.

Like, what I'm saying.

That might have been the only legitimate attempt at a joke.

Yeah.

And you guys are fucking, it crashed like the fucking Hindenburg.

Correct?

Called them all ugly.

I don't know why he did that.

The wood stage was.

Nobody must get laid here.

You're all ugly.

I was like, wait, that was a hard right turn.

Who is he modeling this career after?

Rodney Dangerfield, right?

Or Don Rickles.

Yeah.

Yeah, right?

The master.

Okay, you're right.

All right.

Well, now he's there.

You go.

He's sprinkling all of that in.

All right.

Hope he tells another dick-sucking joke.

He might save the act if he does.

Wait till the winter to get it late.

I mean, it's all dark and shit.

Yeah, I,

yeah.

Anyways, $20 a day on White Wheels.

Yeah, ugly.

Anyways, that's all I got for you guys.

Oh, my God.

That was the closure.

Yeah.

He called him ugly again.

Yeah.

Second time.

It needs work.

Yeah.

It definitely, like.

Just as any aspiring community needs work.

It needs time to fine-tune it.

I agree.

He's got to get in there.

And he has a fucking amazing stage presence, though.

I mean, he's electric.

Yes.

He's electric.

You can't take your eyes off him.

No, I couldn't.

Unless your order's coming.

I couldn't take my eyes off him, no.

No, I agree.

I agree.

So I think he just keeps going, keeps going.

We're looking at a bright future, I think.

I just don't see him having the fortitude to really work at it.

I do feel he has a little bit of like, I'm Ming Chen.

I can just roll up there and just say,

you know, I eat a lot of white women.

And somebody's going to love it.

I mean, that's his hot pockets joke, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Yeah, that's it.

That's like, before he gets off the stage, people chant it because they want him to tell it one more time

all the white women you could eat

wow so yeah i think um i think you're right waltz i think he needs to he should take this analyze it see where he's getting his laughs and then really throw it all out and start new i think he because all his laughs all his cheers are like hey man i went to this bar i went to that bar yeah i believe everybody who laughed he came with oh yeah yeah i think he i think they drove him there Yeah.

I think they're driving him back to his hotel.

He might even be sleeping on their floor.

Right.

Right.

You're right.

Because he can't fucking because the con wouldn't give him a room.

Yeah, and then he spent too much on scratchers.

Sucking dick now.

Yeah.

Jeez.

Poor Ming.

Poor Ming.

Yeah.

Alaska doing stand-up.

He shouldn't be so fucking poor.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

What am I doing?

I'm stuck in a fucking windowless room with Giddam.

He's out there fucking captivating, holding a crowd in the palm of his fucking hand.

Playing him like a hawk from hell.

Yes.

You're right.

You're right.

I'm looking at fucking pork rind that's been sitting here for fucking days.

That's it.

Oh, that's salt.

It looks like fucking

diced.

Look at pork.

Doug's begged the question is, why is there a giant bag of salted

on our desk?

What is that for?

My salt grinder.

His salt grinder, he says.

But what do you you need that much salt for?

Not all at once.

But why is it on the middle of the podcasting table?

Because I filled it the other night.

Oh, come on, Kewy filled it a couple nights ago.

Why wouldn't it still be out here?

But where does it live when it's not on wires that we're using to record?

In the back.

Okay.

All right.

Phew.

Oh, boy.

It looks like fish food.

You get to that.

Or the rocks tasting on the bottom of the

fish tank.

And there's like, there's just junk everywhere piled up.

There's four different tubes

or

bottles.

One, two, three, four, five, just sitting there half-filled.

One looks like a bottle of piss for sure.

What is that?

Leukozade.

Leukozade.

It's an energy drink.

Okay.

Is that opened?

Made with glucose.

Oh, LeucoAid, like I said,

does that energy drink help?

Because I haven't seen any signs that

you've been energized by anything lately.

I haven't opened it yet.

You better start fucking

mainlining it because

at times I got to put a fucking mirror under your nose to see if it fogs up.

See if we got to start looking for a new office coach.

I got all that salt.

How long will it take you to use all that salt in that bag?

Years.

Years.

It's just, there's a styrofoam cups on the side.

It's just a weird way to live, man.

Hoarder, man.

What?

You got to be a hoarder to understand.

I guess so.

Shit everywhere.

There is shit everywhere.

It's wild.

Yeah.

Did you ever see, like, when a spider on LSD makes a web?

Yeah, you're shocked.

Yeah.

That's what you're seeing right there.

That's his version of a web that he spins.

Right.

He's like, it's clean.

Yeah.

You can't even see the table.

Am I exaggerating?

Like, you like we're on his side over there.

You can't even see the table.

It's just piles of stuff on top of stuff.

I don't understand it.

You've got to get out of this room, Walt.

He says, I'm just going to worry about you.

You can't live your life like this.

I'm not seeing it anymore.

Yeah, the effect that this has on your brain isn't good.

It's just disorderly mess thrown in your face constantly.

What have I got to do?

I mean, I told you you got to fire him and get someone else in here, but it's never.

I never said that.

It's never going to happen.

When did you say that?

When was that sentence uttered aloud?

I've said it.

I've said it.

I've voiced that in the past, but we know we're not doing it.

But like, look, what's that chair over there?

So, you mean

his head's been on the chopping block, but I've taken it off?

Yeah.

How?

You've said you can't fire him.

What would you think the reaction would be from the listener base, who we depend upon?

I think

some would fucking be happy.

But I think the majority would be like, that's cold.

So the majority would be like, let him just continue to take advantage of you guys and keep this place a mess.

Living it.

You know what you were getting.

Yeah,

I wonder.

We can't fire him.

I wonder

what's the.

We brought a listener in, Josh.

Yeah, where's he?

He's gone.

I don't see him around.

I think he bit off more than he could chew.

And I think, I mean, he's just like...

Plus, he's also getting the fucking iceberg at home, no, from here, like here, from Giddam.

Oh, really?

Because every time he tries to throw something out, Giddam is like, That's mine.

Yeah, that's my fucking garbage.

That's my salt.

But Giddam, it's a bunch of empty Gatorade bottles.

There's like 30 in this bag.

I need it.

A lot of that going on.

And there are

no elaborating why you need it.

What if we hired someone to be his superior?

To what, be the bad guy?

Yeah.

That would make us very weak.

Three of us are superior.

So now you have to pay another, you have to pay another person

to be mean to get

we can't do it.

Why can't you do it?

Me?

You were an SOB.

Why can't you be mean?

I don't know.

You're mean to all

like all your girlfriends, you're an absolute fucking bastard to.

Why the fuck can't you be mean to him and fucking ride his balls?

I don't know.

Cause one, he's a friend.

Two, I'm not good in that role.

Like when I was a manager at the Stash Out West, I never liked it because I didn't like telling people what to do.

I just always wish they would still just do it.

I wish they would just do it, you know?

I didn't like being in that management position.

The same thing with Giddam, I guess.

I'm just like, and I just feel like it's going to fall on deaf ears too.

It'll just get me more frustrated if I'm like, hey, next time we come in to record, can half the table at least not have shit all over it?

And I know I'll come in and there'll still be half the table have shit on it.

And I'll be like, God damn it.

It's like, maybe I just don't want to admit the lack of respect he has for us.

Is that what it is?

Part of it.

No, I don't think it's that.

I do think it's

an ill mind.

Yeah.

It is an unmedicated mind.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

it's just.

If it was to get

the pills it needs,

I think things could be different, but you know, he's he's

I mean, maybe Dr.

D, maybe we need to call her back in, and maybe I don't know if she's allowed to prescribe across state lines.

Well, she might have, I don't know if she wants to be on Mike prescribing

medications that were just like, can you make him need her?

What do you got for that, Doc?

Could you make him like want to throw shit away?

Is there, is

What's in the medicine cabinet for that, Doc?

I've been playing that Red Dead Redemption, the cowboy game, again, part two.

And like every other non-player character, just get him.

He's got the long beard and is like drunk on the side of the road.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

And then you go in people's houses and they're all shitholes because they're living in the old West.

A finely tuned

get him mind, I think, could be super beneficial because you see flashes of it.

Yeah.

There's flashes of of brilliance at times,

but then it gets

distracted by

literal garbage.

You know, that becomes more important than a brilliant idea

that you put out there and then you complete that idea.

Execute it, right?

Yeah, you execute that idea.

Yeah, there's there's a bit of a bit of a distance between

thinking it and doing it.

But

the crazy part for me with Giddam is like

he's rubbing our face in it.

There's not even an attempt to be like, oh, the guys are coming in today.

Let me just clean up a little bit.

He did.

Whoa, this is straightened up?

I think he did.

Yeah, he did.

Oh, okay.

This is, but this is what he got to think about.

This is his.

I didn't realize that.

This is his ill mind

thinking that this is.

He doesn't see this as.

He put his hand on the table and just swept everything to the end of the table.

And that was it.

That's what this yardstick is for.

He doesn't straighten up yardstick.

Push it all that way.

Yeah.

But you, I will say, Q, you're a little bit more Felix Unger than I am.

Like, you find the weirdest things to be like, there's an empty cup on its side.

And you're, and you're like, that bothers you, right?

Well, it's okay.

It's just, I'm just looking at a pile of mess and I'm just saying what I see.

Right, but there's far more.

But throw that out.

Why is that?

No, no, no.

Yeah, why is there a cup covered with plastic?

It's like a hotel room.

Because I was trying to get you, I asked you if you wanted some of my seltzer to try it the other day, remember?

So you had this cup at the ready, an old cup that, where did this cup even come from?

This came from Frank's hotel.

So you're going to, he was going to.

It's a clean cup.

It's plastic rat.

So Wallace got to sample some of Giddam's seltzer, so you came prepared with a cup.

Yes.

Why is Frank's cup from the hotel here?

How did that get from Frank's hotel to here?

Frank brought it.

But why, though?

Jesus Christ.

For you?

I guess.

He's like, here, I didn't use this.

Yeah.

Throw it out.

That's the listeners.

Give it to me right now.

Listeners and

people who appear on the show.

Oh, my God, and he crushed it.

Who appear on the show?

Stop bringing things, forget them, because we can't.

We can't use it anymore.

We can't take it on.

You have to fucking not bring us anything.

It has to stop.

Because he won't throw it away if you give it to him.

He won't.

He won't.

Looking at it.

Now, it's nice of you to think that

I would want a sip of your self-button, but you know, you know, don't you fucking lie.

You know, I was never going to be like, okay.

From his backwashed bottle.

Here you go.

It was a brand new bottle of grape seltzer.

But you know I was never going to drink it.

You might.

That would be.

It may as well have been a bottle of piss that Bry thought it was initially.

You drink grape juice.

Right, but you know I've said on record, I've told you, I can't stand seltzer.

But it's, it's, this is not really seltzer, it's sparkling water.

So it's sweet.

It has bubbles.

Okay, but it's sweet, so it's not really seltzer.

So that's why I asked if you would like to try some, because I know I'm trying to get you to drink more.

Is that and so when you got the cup, you're like, oh, here's an opportunity.

Now I can actually offer him some of my seltzer?

Yes.

I said, said before I.

That's why, that's where our brains don't work like his.

I walked in and I said to you, before I open this bottle of seltzer, would you like to try some?

And I came and prepared a text cup.

Let's not end this real quick.

I was going to text Frank.

I want to be like, how did your cup from your hotel wind up?

Why did you think

it should come to the office?

Meanwhile, while you're doing that,

I'm on the Wannabes podcast this week, so I just wanted to give them a shout-out.

The Wannabes guys.

Yep.

All right.

Where did they record that?

From different homes, I think.

Oh, you did it over Zoom, yeah.

So you can find that wherever.

Nice.

Their latest episode.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm interrupting you.

How long ago did this cub surface?

Because he hasn't been down here since the Gong show.

Oh, he dropped it a year about a year or so ago.

So if he even ask him, he's not going to know what the fuck I'm talking about.

He probably would.

He's a smart guy.

He remembers things.

That's a sign of intelligence.

But no, Frank is a smart guy, and he remembers things.

A year.

A year.

A year.

Again, that shows, that's what I'm saying.

Like, that's a brain that needs medication.

Yeah.

And it was here a year.

It finally had a use, and then you didn't use it.

And then I fucked it up.

Yeah, you fucked it all up

by not drinking what he knew goddamn well you weren't gonna drink no stress I believe that he was concerned about waltz and I was like I wanted to try to get him to drink I do believe that that's the good thing about get him like he's a good dude so you're like

inch and over here yeah I just started drinking this uh sparkling water from Lytle and I tried their white white grape, and it tastes just like regular grape juice.

I saw him drinking grape juice.

No, I was drinking Snapple, grape aid.

Yes.

Big difference between grape juice.

It's not grape juice.

It has grape juice in it, at least 10%.

Okay, Frank just replied, what cup?

Hold on.

John Venture.

Hold on.

He just felt what cup.

It's so funny.

I asked him to call me real quick.

But a year though.

Yeah.

Where was it living before that, though?

Before you saw it.

Oh, here we go.

All right.

Hold on.

Hello?

Hey, what's going on?

So we're recording TSD.

Hey, Frank.

What's up, Frank?

Q.

Q's here.

Bri's here.

Giddam's here.

And we asked Gidham about this cup that was on its side that really irked Q.

Amongst other garbage.

A cup.

Amongst other garbage.

But there was a cup laying on its side, like a Dixie cup.

It was a hotel room cup.

You know how they come wrapped in plastic?

Like the coffee cups?

It was a paper coffee cup in a plastic covering.

Okay.

Yes.

And Giddam said that you bought it here to the office over a year ago.

And I was just wondering why you brought the cup and gave it to Giddam.

Well,

the trash cans were full at the hotel, so I figured that'd be the next best place is to bring it there.

What happened?

I remember what happened was this.

We came to film something or whatever, and there were no cups or anything.

And I had mentioned to get them.

I'm like, well, if I known that, I would have just brought them from the hotel because they have a bunch of cups in the room.

And he said, all right, yeah, go ahead, bring them in.

So then what happened was just every time I had come down, I would just bring the cups with me because I figured, you know, that you guys needed cups.

Did you hang up on him?

No, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still there.

So you brought one cup or it was just one cup you bought?

No, I brought, there was a couple of different cups that I brought.

See, he said that they didn't have that you guys didn't have any cups at the at the studio.

And I remember we were recording something and we had to, like, a bunch of people wanted to drink or whatever.

And I said, geez, if I

would have brought cups.

So I don't think I can find cups in this every time I came down.

I don't even think we need cups.

Most people drink out of the bottle.

Yeah,

that's what I figured.

I wasn't talking to you, Frank.

I was talking to

you.

Sorry.

This isn't your fault.

I just don't know how that cup lasts or survives for a year,

you know, without getting tossed out.

It just boggles our minds.

And

yeah, we're kind of at our wits' end with

cups

and how they come to be here.

Not to bring any more cups.

Yeah.

Everybody can just drink out of the bottle.

All right.

Well, thank you, Frank.

Mystery solved.

Anytime.

So you brought him on your own.

You weren't directed to bring him.

No, well, what was said was I had mentioned it.

There was something where there was a bunch of us and we wanted a drink and we didn't have any cups and Giddam said, oh, you know, we don't have enough cups.

And I said, well, we got a whole bunch of them at the hotel.

I can just bring them.

Right.

Okay.

Next time I come down.

He's like, yeah, all right, bring them.

So then every time I came down, i just would would grab them off of the uh we can't do this ghetto

it is ghetto is fucking

realized that we weren't using them then he was just collecting them oh come on now you didn't realize that

how many more cups are in this office like that um

eight eight more cups all right i want you to track them down have them ready

get him's looking our at our bottom line that's one way you could look at it he's like i don't want to go buy cups i don't have a problem with eight cups being in stored somewhere in the office in a cabinet

something on the side next to the Himalayan salt on the wires that we're recording with.

I just think is like, let's just throw it out or put it away.

Well, he's got enough bags, he can't just put the cups in the bags and put them somewhere.

I mean, we all sound crazy.

Yeah, that's not normal issues that people have.

Yeah,

it's insanity.

All right, Frank, the next time you come, though,

we don't need any cups.

No more cups.

No more cups.

No more, but

thank you, Frank.

Take it easy.

Bye-bye.

All right.

We got that.

Okay.

We're not going to have to deal with that anymore.

We know what it definitely came from Frank and when it got here.

And we're probably not going to get any more cups.

Okay.

All right.

So we've done it.

Every journey begins with a step.

Right.

Like Ming's stand-up career.

Everything starts and then builds from there.

And this is it.

This is the start.

This is the start of.

Where does the pink salt go after this episode?

Where does that usually live?

All right.

You're going to get it back there?

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Otherwise, Q's going to come through and throw everything away.

Yeah, I'm just going to start throwing stuff.

Yeah, why not?

Let's do it.

Well, that's the worst thing you can do.

That'll.

You want to traumatize?

Do you want to

like, that's the kind of shit that causes like

deep emotional scars.

He handled me crumpling up the the cut.

Oh, yeah.

Do you think he really handled it?

He didn't say anything.

Yeah, but

I could see his eyes twitch.

Really?

Yeah.

I could see, yeah, I could see.

It didn't go over well.

No, that did not go over well.

He didn't say that.

Do you want

a fetal position?

Giddam.

Will it lead to change?

He's in front of the door.

Can we at least get around him?

Tell him, Steve Dave.