#621: Savage White Elephant

Your dad likes to collect puzzles?

Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip.

Cut you get off the floor.

They had to call the cops.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, everybody.

Happy 2025.

Here with Walt.

Hello.

And here with Sunday Jeff.

Oh, happy new year.

This is the first show back?

Yep, this is the first show back.

And Quinn already missed it.

He's tracing.

Well, he was traipsing around in LA.

Not so much anymore.

He's back.

Came back.

I just talked to him about a half hour ago.

He was in LA, stuck there.

He had to take a red eye back today, so he just got in.

A lot of problems out there right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kev was spared?

Yeah, I talked to him last night.

It didn't.

When I talked to him last night, though, he said

wasn't looking good.

He said his house was gone.

He said, it's pretty much I had to give up it's going to be gone right so that was awful

but then this morning i didn't want to bug him about it but i'm like i said like hey man what's going on like i just wanted to know because i've been thinking about it all night and he said though that they got incredibly lucky and the planes flew over with the water

and they got it under control and you know his part of where he lives was was spared which is amazing because i was looking at the map and he lives so close to i don't want to dox him but he lives lives very close to some of the areas that are that were burnt.

Well, he had to be evacuated.

It was a mandatory evacuation.

I talked to Jordan last night, and same thing.

It was a suggested evacuation that was going to turn into a mandatory one, and she happened to have a friend who had a house that's

out of the fire zone.

So she and Jay and the kids were able to go down there, and

their house is fine, too.

Yeah, it's

yeah, you just you never

know with shit like that, man.

It's just like some house, some streets are gone, other streets are not.

Like a tornado almost, just coming through and being very selective.

That's not the area usually it's known for, though, right?

It's usually like out, like where it's like incredibly wooded areas, though, when you hear about California wildfires.

It's usually happening, I don't remember usually happening in Los Angeles.

No, it's happened there before.

Yeah, when I lived there, I remember a couple times there were some big fires.

It's crazy how this happens so frequently out there.

Yeah.

Well, that's one of the

this is going to be a largely laughless pod.

Walt doesn't want to laugh because he doesn't feel well.

Listen to him.

Yeah, so we're just going to talk about regular stuff.

If I laugh, it's going to sound gross.

You're going to hear all that mucus.

I'm going to get mucus all over the muscle.

You guys can laugh.

I don't care.

Well, at least he doesn't care if we laugh.

But yeah, it was like a combination of cuts to the fire department.

Well, well I'm hearing so much shit and I just don't want to hear I just don't I want to hear the truth I want to hear the absolute truth well don't look to any politicians for it and if it's the and if the truth is that the leaders of the state fucked up on this at this point

how many times can we allow people to fuck up

at such a cost and nobody pays a price.

I mean, it's been going on my whole entire adult life.

We go to war,

and there's no fucking weapons of mass destruction, and nobody pays a no job is ever lost.

Right.

It's nobody answers anything.

Nobody is ever held to account for fucking up.

And this is this is not a small

mistake.

Happens in this office.

Stop.

Stop it.

Yeah, so I saw this one, this one piece of footage.

It was really interesting.

I guess the guy had like a fire suppression,

some sort of fire suppression, suppression mechanism on top of his house.

So it like sprays water out from the roof.

And it was like, it was a four wall, like the two walls you could see were all glass.

And he's looking out at the fires, him and his dogs, and it's fucking unreal.

Like it just looks like

this dude's dead.

But the fire suppression thing, I think, helped him because it like sprays water out and keeps things wet, like surrounding the house.

Keeps the house wet.

The temperature though,

what powers it?

I don't know.

Yeah, because you got to cut the power to that street.

You would think so.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Unless they have generators or something.

Sort of water pressure.

Like the fire department starts using all the water, and it's just like spraying it.

You've got to have your own bank of water in it, right?

It's got its own.

Yeah, it probably has its own supply, I would think.

How many gallons of water would you need, though?

A lot.

Yeah, a lot.

A lot.

I don't know.

Yeah, that's it right there.

Yeah.

So that house survived.

Could you imagine like eating, just like coming downstairs and still eating breakfast with that shit going on around you?

It's insane.

It's nice.

Look at that.

It's like a furnace.

Yeah, but then you can see it like every once in a while.

That house survived?

Yeah, I think so.

You can see every once in a while the flames get pushed back.

It's like it's hard to see, but like.

Well, that fire suppression system.

It should be.

Yes.

Right?

Just like when you build houses down in Florida, you got to have...

Hurricane-proof.

Yeah,

that should be mandatory in everybody's house.

I mean, it might, it might, it looks like it might stop a lot of the damage, but you know, I'm sure it's not cheap to have it done either.

Cheaper than replacing the house, I would imagine.

But you got to weigh the.

That's crazy.

I mean, it literally looks like fucking hell out there.

Yeah, it looks like hell on earth.

That's crazy.

It doesn't look like he's got power either.

It just looks like that's the whole house is lit up by the flames.

So how does that mechanism work then

it's pump like i said maybe there's a generator maybe that's it works purposely on backup you generate and you don't want you don't want it to generate your house because you want all the juice going to that

that mechanism

system keep the water pumping

that's nuts

yeah i didn't think it was i didn't know it was that close to that area

oh yeah he said it was he said his house was gone last night and what how do you respond to that

that's what jordan said too she said she said probably Kevin's probably going to lose his house.

And I was just lying there this morning

until I saw his Facebook post.

I was thinking of like, the only thing I could think of was that big picture of Harley, that big painting.

And I was like, that's like, if that goes, and then like all the mementos he has and all the art and all that other shit, it's like irreplaceable stuff.

So like, where do you go from there if that happens to you?

Do you are you just like, look, I'm going to live fucking bare minimum from here on out?

That's this guy.

Yeah, he was living bare minimum prior to that.

All I said was, like,

this is terrible.

I said, I'm so sorry.

And that's all I could say.

Right.

There was nothing else I could say.

It was brutal, though,

to hear that.

And

super,

you know.

excited to hear that it that it was it wasn't it was not it didn't come to pass but that it was surprising considering how dire it looked yeah yeah yeah and even he was even even he is like i'm probably gonna lose everything

that's the worst and then you're just waiting you go to a hotel or you go to even though you've been just i've been in the same area but it was not with it was with water and going to a hotel and then driving home to see hoping that oh when you come back it's going to be okay and luckily it was really two times it happened one time i came back everyone fine it's but the next time it happened but it was repairable you don't lose all your belongings i mean it's it's a difference just coming out.

Nothing.

It's gone.

Everything you had is just

clothes on your back is all you got.

Yes, there is an absolute big difference, but I kind of know what the feeling of driving up and seeing your house looking like it was.

What's it going to look like?

It was picked up and shaken and then put back down on it on, you know.

Yeah.

But it just,

these natural disasters are happening more and more.

It's got to be.

What do they say cause?

I I mean, like, what causes that?

There's so many of these out there.

Well, I don't know what was the initial spark, so to speak, but the winds were what was really spreading it, I think.

That's why that's, you know, the combination.

Perfect fire spreads.

And you hear so many nitwits on those social media just saying, shit, that's

good.

No, nothing.

They're saying they're like, oh, this has got to be a terrorist attack.

Like,

these are man-made.

They're mining them by man-made.

There's too many fires for this to be a natural cause.

And I'm like,

yeah, I can see a cigarette getting thrown out of a window, you know, out of a flip-flop.

So, I mean, that could happen.

One of the problems was that, like, that some of the services that got cut, they don't really clear away a lot of the brush and stuff that they used to.

So, you know,

pre-burn fires.

Right.

Well, that's all that you're talking about.

Someone has to pay a price.

Well, it's probably the governor and the mayor of L.A.

Those two seem to be in the hot seat right now.

It was proven that their ineptitude caused this.

But if it's like 100 mile per hour winds,

if that turned out to be the cause, you can't go after them then

because you can't stop 100 mile per hour winds, can you?

Right.

They're not going to be responsible for the winds, but the lack of water and the lack of water in the hydrants because of like

I can't remember the exact story, but like Gavin Newsom, the governor of California, was supposed, like he could have diverted a bunch of of water to LA, but instead he was studying, he was studied, tried to spell the smelt.

Yeah, but I don't believe that, though.

You don't think so?

No, no, no.

I'm saying it could be true, but I'm not as quick to believe it

until it's proven beyond

every iota of that is true, though, because you do know that like there's some people who just want it out for that guy anyway.

So they're going to say, they're going to put the blame on him and yada, yada, yada.

I can't believe anybody.

I just want to know.

I don't believe anybody.

Why should you?

I don't believe either side.

And if you believe either side, you're crazy.

They're both fucking.

Yeah, somewhere in the middle is terrific.

But not on either side.

You never find the middle, though.

That's the problem.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You never find the middle ground.

Marjorie Taylor Green blames wildfires on secret Jewish space legacy.

Sunday, Jeff, is there something you'd like to tell us?

You're telling me that, man.

Walking around with matches in my hand.

And this is somebody that's in a position of power, right?

Yeah.

She's

blaming the Jews.

Is she a senator?

Or is she a

Democratic mischief maker?

Yeah, mischief.

She's right.

Yeah, I'm not sure what her position is, but she's one of those wackos.

How the fuck does anybody vote for somebody like that?

I don't know.

I mean, look, well, they voted back in Mary and Barry.

You know,

let's not get on any other topic now.

yeah i

i just at this at my age

and for as long as i've subscribed to this and i i haven't been proven i haven't yet to feel that i'm wrong yet i've never once

ever fallen for either party's bullshit

oh believe that never believed either side and never have been a supporter of either side and

i've so i've seen nothing to to make me want to ever be like you know what I'm a committed Republican or yeah or I'm a committed this because both sides are and people are like oh that's the easy way out you choose it you say you're in the middle you're either with us or you're against us I'm like

whatever side you fall on you're going to be disappointed in because they're both inept

They're both full of fucking maniacs

and charlatans and people who just want to get rich.

Yeah.

That's all they care about.

They don't care about you.

Oh, that's this country, man.

They want to get rich.

I want Sunday Jeff in office.

I want somebody who will fucking make decisions.

I'll have my own coin on the next bottle of wine.

I just want somebody who'll make decisions for the people, not for himself.

Would you think he'd be a good president?

I think he'd be amazing.

Definitely for the working man.

He wouldn't know anything that was going on, though.

Sometimes that might be better, but I'm saying definitely for the working man.

What does he need to do, like if he wanted to put his hat in the ring

in the next election?

This is my campaign trail right here.

What does he need to do to get

on the ballot?

I think it's just a certain number of signatures.

And then you can go under like a certain party.

I was going to say, if it's like seven grand, we got that.

You got it covered?

We got that.

That would be amazing.

I think you might need more than that.

I think you need other stuff, too.

It would be the first time I voted since the early 90s if Sunday Joe Cameron.

I would vote for you.

I'm sticking out of your son root.

Or even if you were just completely and utterly honest,

you're like, I don't know.

That doesn't exist.

It's just, you know,

the thing with, I don't understand about all the rich people.

It's like, how much fucking money does Bezos need?

How much money does any of these people need?

You know, how many, how much money is enough?

You can't take it with you wherever you're going.

But you can't stop, though.

Like,

it's a disease.

It's an illness.

But if your beso is like, once you have started Amazon and you're like, oh, my God, I'm like one of the richest guys on earth, you're not going to be able to do it.

What do you want me to do, though?

Yeah, what do you just retire?

I mean, you could retire, but I'm saying you don't.

I mean, how much more do you have to go a lot of times for tax cuts for the big guys?

You know, there's a lot of tax cuts.

There's a lot of

stuff that

if you want BQ's vote, you're going to have to give him some major deep tax cuts.

Then he's not the right guy.

That's what I'm saying.

oh if you want his vote if sunday jeff wants bq's vote he can't even make it to a podcast you want me to help him out

you know um but it's just it look i always feel you know that people want the best for you know their families their lives and everything else and with

with politics you can have like you said people go up there and they tell you certain things and you can't make promises i mean

they say things, but you can't always say that that's going to happen because there's something called Congress that they have to pass all these laws and they never agree.

They never agree, especially now.

It's worse than it's ever been.

Worse than it's ever been.

Very difficult.

It's a very, like, you said it, Walt, it's a very like, it's almost like sports teams.

Oh, yeah.

Where it's like people are fucking hardcore and they can't imagine rooting.

for the other side regardless of the situation.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

Did you vote for the Rangers?

No, but I'm just saying the only thing that should matter,

voting for the other side, you're just voting for what's best for the country.

And nothing else really should matter.

But, like you said before, with like somebody.

What's best for the country isn't what's best for the Republican, what's best for me, I'm going to vote for this guy.

What's best for me is going to be their,

and that's where it goes with what's in the middle.

You need somebody to really be objective.

You'd be like, you know, if both parties come away unhappy, then maybe you found the right median gravity.

I wish that there was somebody like that old dude from the 90s that was running and almost won.

Oh, Ross Perot.

Yeah.

That's what we need.

You need that third party.

Yeah.

You need that guy who needs

wild.

Why?

What was wrong with him?

Because he was like a weird dude.

That's what you need.

You need an eccentric who's

successful.

You need that successful eccentric to get in there and think outside the box because the box.

You don't think that's Trump?

A lot of people would say that's Trump.

Yeah, at the end of the day, though, he's still.

He's more than eccentric.

Yeah.

No,

you need somebody who can unite.

And Trump is not a uniter.

He's a fucking divider.

No, you're right about that.

Yeah, it's all he does is divide.

Crazy.

Crazy times.

You need somebody who's not affiliated with a party who doesn't have to.

Well, that's been happening now, too.

I'm sure there's independents that have tried to run, but they just can't get the votes.

There's no way they're going to get votes.

And they don't get the money.

And then, even if you win, you get sucked up into the system.

It's like, sure.

You know, you get two senators.

It's like, all right, well, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.

And then you're like, well, I need, I really want to get this project done.

So even though I don't agree with this guy's project, so fucking

pork barrel shit.

Oh, it's the suitcase doing.

Oh,

I think you find this successful.

You know,

if some place had to burn

like a massive wildfire, it's too bad it wasn't fucking the White House and the Congress and we just all start over.

Yeah.

Just clear it all out and start anew.

Right?

I mean,

and start fresh with all new rules, all new,

all new people.

Not that the people had to die.

I don't want it to die every second.

But like, you know, if they're like, yeah, it's too much to rebuild.

We're too old.

We ain't up for the task.

Right?

They're a little bit long in a tooth.

Let's be honest, aren't they?

All the fucking politicians?

Yeah, but

just because the place

burns down, they're just going to not go to like, ah, well, start from scratch.

They're just going to start the building from scratch.

Everything else is still going to be the fucking same.

And you know what?

It's going to cost you even more money because the building is going to be nicer and bigger.

It's going to have extra wings, more electronics, more computers.

And the taxpayers are going to pay you even more money.

It's true.

I've seen it on a small scale, like in Highlands.

They built a borough hall, and it took them a long time.

But you think of the old borough hall, how, like,

how quaint.

Perfect word.

Quaint.

It worked.

Yeah.

You didn't need this huge building with like all these different offices and shit.

They went and built this monstrosity, this ugly thing, this borough hall on the highway.

Yeah, like a little mini pentagon.

Yeah, yeah.

In this little shore town.

Like, what are they doing in there that they need a bunker?

I've yet to be in there.

Yeah, I don't know.

Did they condense?

Maybe they condensed a bunch of other buildings until everything's now under one roof.

That word doesn't exist in government, condense.

They don't condense nothing.

They'll condense on your behalf.

They'll take something away from you.

Yeah, it's called your paycheck.

Did you

even though you were ill and were you able to do your book project?

I did.

You did it?

Yeah, that was before I got sick.

I worked on my shelves.

I don't know.

I told you, Sunday, I had a big project.

I was going to rearrange my bookshelves.

Despite your beard, you wouldn't have a beard like he, like Brian has.

Put everything in proper order, get all the volumes lined up by categorizing it.

I thought it was, though.

I mean, I went to the point of it.

It was, but it gets, but again, you know,

you're coming in faster than I can, you know, clean the shrink wrap off, dust the shrink wrap.

The chocolate conveyor belt and Lucy.

You missed one, so I might

start eating them.

Lucy and I.

Pick them up later.

The hashtag works are coming in.

I got omnibuses holding the furniture up now.

But I did take it on and

is now looking better than ever.

What a sight to behold.

Surprise you didn't add another wing to your place.

Oh, I'm working on it.

Yeah, so I thought that was it.

Well, I'm working on it.

I thought the real president of the house, you know,

signed the order.

This is it.

She does.

I've been making my inroads.

You know, you got to sweeten the, just like any politician, you got to sweeten that.

Every time I go to.

That's in it for her.

That backyard looks like the Garden of fucking Eden.

Every time I go there in the summertime, it's insane.

He's got more papers.

I thought he was going to take people's names and start putting it in the papers like they do with Disney World.

Yeah, it's a better homes and gardens.

It's crazy.

When I first moved there, it looked like the fucking moon.

It was nuts.

Yeah, I'm working on getting another wing.

Yeah.

Where the window is, it recesses in here.

You don't need this window, right?

Put bookcases in there.

It's too much sun in here, anyways.

That's where it's going, isn't it?

Yeah, no,

I got my eyes on another room.

Oh,

one of the kids aren't here anymore either.

I can move everything in that one room.

Yeah,

that's the plan.

I haven't got the green light yet, though.

Never know when they come back.

You can use the sofa.

Oh, God.

It looks so funny.

Hey, don't laughing.

I know, but

one of my kids' friends was over.

I think it was on New Year's Eve, and

she had some friends over, and they were chilling out for

where they were going for the night.

One of the kids, one of the guys asked Alicia, he goes, wow, he's going.

they're in the room where all the books are in there, and he was like, Your dad likes to collect puzzles?

He thought they were

all puzzle boxes.

He started to come in here with his chest pumped out.

I'm ready for it.

I remember I was like, Yeah, look at all these comic books.

He's like, Puzzles?

Hell man.

He came out of the house.

Let's rearrange that shit.

And she's like, No, they're not puzzles.

They're books.

What kind of books?

She's like, I just wanted to change the subject.

Puzzle books.

All these puzzles.

Could you imagine?

Why are they all sealed?

Puzzles?

It's puzzling while they're all sealed.

That's funny.

We had

a week with the Johnsons

since New Year's.

Edgar got an operation.

He

had a hernia.

Really?

Yeah, so how long he had that?

I think for like a couple weeks he had it, maybe a month.

and they had to.

How did he get it?

I don't know, just lifting something, just like going down like this.

Rose lifted it wrong.

Rose lifted it wrong.

He knew it.

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, it's like it's good.

He knew it enough.

He should.

And actually,

yeah, he can't bend over and pick anything up.

And during that time, Pam fell at the house.

And my sister's there, and Edgar's there.

But they can't get her up.

They can't lift her up.

They can't get her up.

And it's not like she's super heavy or anything, but I think they just, they just, you know.

how old's your father, right?

He's 78.

Yeah.

Yeah.

78.

But he's always been like, I mean, even up until like

this this past, not this past summer, but the summer before, he was like going full steam, like when he was helping us with some stuff with the house and shit.

It takes a lot out of him.

Now it's like, I wouldn't even ask him.

I wouldn't even ask him to help.

Cut you off the floor.

They had to call the cops.

She was all embarrassed.

She's like, no, don't call him.

Because, you know, I mean, I don't know how much of it.

Is she okay?

Yeah, yeah she's okay except the day that edgar has his hernia operation right uh which was this past monday which would have been like the fifth or something

uh

they get home and pam's like oh i'm having chest pains so they have to go back to the hospital turns out pam had a heart attack yep and she had to stay in the hospital for two days And they had to like put a stent in and all that stuff.

Yeah, I think so.

And now she's on a new diet with just vegetables and

fruit and shit.

That's your worst nightmare.

Which would suck, man.

Especially at that age where you're like, I just want to enjoy shit.

I don't care about getting fat or whatever, you know.

I just want to eat.

I don't want to have to worry about that crap.

Yeah.

So what?

Was she eating a lot of meat before?

I don't think so.

No.

Hereditary.

I don't think so.

Hereditary problems.

And they're like, no meat.

Yeah, no meat, I guess, because it'll block up her arteries or something.

So you said they're staying at your house now because they're all back.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, they're still at their house.

Oh, I thought you said the Johnsons are at my house still.

Oh, no, I said the Johnsons had a week.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, because of Pam and Edgar.

So who's taking care of them then?

I think my sister's over there because she lives in town.

Yeah, I know, right?

2025 starting off

with a bang for the Johnsons.

Yeah.

Yeah, Mary Beth was sick this week.

Mary Beth was sick this week.

Two days in.

I don't know.

It sounded like she kind of was not as bad as you, but something similar.

Like she had a scratchy throat, itchy throat, and was feeling nauseous and stuff.

Yeah, I didn't feel nauseous that's the worst part, but just bad congestion.

No thrown up, man.

No way.

No throwing up.

You taking anything or having a heart attack?

Mucinex.

Mucinex?

Yeah.

I always wonder how well that shit works.

Like when I get sick and I take it.

It doesn't work for me.

It doesn't seem to be that good.

It doesn't work for me.

You know, that

we sent Leica to get some Mucinex or something over the counter, and she had to come home and get her license.

Oh, yeah, they won't let you buy that shit without a license.

Is it that bad out there for junkies that have pseudoprin in it?

Is that a pseudo ephedrine?

Like, people are popping Mucinex and getting high?

No, they're afraid.

It's so stupid.

They're afraid that...

Like, if you get enough of them, you can take out an ingredient and use it for meth.

It's used in the...

how many people are capable of doing that.

So few.

And especially in this state, like meth is not a problem in New Jersey.

It's not like we're living out in like in the Midwest or something.

But what a pain in the bullet.

One time I had my license,

I had my passport because I lost my license, but I had my passport.

They can't scan a passport, so they wouldn't let me buy it.

I literally had to, like a teenager.

Looking for alcohol, I had to be like, hey, man, like to a guy I knew, can you buy me this cool medicine?

Yeah.

We want some liquor.

No, I need SudaFed.

Yeah, it's just a way to keep track.

So like, say, Alicia gets Mucinex there.

She doesn't go to 10 other pharmacies and buy one thing of Mucinex there.

You know how much you're buying.

So let's say you want to get something out of the Mucinex tablet.

What do you got to do?

Do you got to boil it and melt it down?

You've got to be a chemist.

I don't know how people

if you crush it and extract, you know, extract certain chemicals out of it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

So the Mucinex, is it just, is it a, can you open it?

No, it's like

a chalky kind of pill.

All right.

Yeah, you must have to be able to, and if you can still do it these days,

make meth out of it.

I guess you would crush it down and separate these things.

Is all Mucinex like this?

Is the liquid mucinex,

like the cough syrup?

Is that also where you have to be of a certain age to buy it?

If it's behind the counter.

Yeah, if it's behind the counter.

If it's behind the counter, they got stuff in it.

Or you have to take up one of those little pieces of paper, a little piece of cardboard with the picture of Mucinex on it, you know, and

hand it to the

farmers.

We used to buy video games from Toys R Us, had the cards that you had to bring off to buy everything.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's right.

Wow.

So they all get stolen.

I was in CVS

over in Middletown the other day by where Boston Market used to be across the street from there.

And they've taken to locking stuff up.

I don't know if it's a corporate thing or like it's a problem within the area.

It just doesn't seem like that kind of area.

I think you do if you do it everywhere, then you're not accused of doing it only in certain areas.

Right.

You know, if it's if it's nationwide,

nobody can be like, hey, you're just doing it here.

Why?

Yeah.

They lock you up.

Well, let me tell you.

Yeah, all locked up.

How'd you fare on Christmas?

Did all right.

Did pretty well.

Got some headphones.

Got this little thing to put in the car so I can put my phone on it.

Got a whole bunch of movies, that kind of stuff.

DVDs?

DV-rays?

Yeah, Blu-rays.

Wow, you're still doing the discs?

Still doing the disc.

Physical man.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Which, again, anything good.

Because half the time I'm like, hey, I want to watch this.

It's not streaming.

It's not streaming.

What discs

were doing?

Which ones did I got?

I got

Dallas.

I got Chopping Mall, which I think is actually on Shutter.

I got

Pet Cemetery.

I got a really nice version of it.

Because that's why, like, I could stream it, but like, Texas Chainsaw Masters has all the extras on it.

There's so many extras on it.

There's a lot of it.

Do you have those Sundays?

I have Texas Change on Masterwork.

You have Pet Cemetery?

I have it.

And Chop'em all?

Yes.

You could have just borrowed Sundays.

Should have, but just burn them.

Yeah.

Right?

You could have borrowed Sundays.

I know.

Yeah, maybe I don't need to buy.

Let me check out those masterworks.

I want sealed.

You can't.

I guess I can only open one volume then because it's the only one that's open.

Do you have a hard time reading those books?

I found that, like, when I have those big omnibuses, like, it's hard to read.

Like, you have to sit there with a pillow in your lap.

Yeah.

Uh they're they're not they're somewhat clunky to read.

I thought you I thought you meant do I have a hard time reading them because the print's so small.

I think that's normal.

My eyes are bad.

I think I think the the my

ability to read the small print is more of an issue than if I need a pillow on my lap.

I'll take the pillow on my lap any day if I can just fucking see it.

That's nuts.

I don't know.

Yeah, so that was Christmas.

Mary Beth got a bunch of shit.

Sage got a bunch of shit.

We went over to my brother's house, Darren's house, for Christmas night.

He gave us a bunch of shit.

Yeah, we all traded shit.

Yeah, but it was quiet.

You know,

nothing really happened.

Yeah.

Trying to get that light.

I I got some masterworks.

No, when you got your masterworks, you picked up out and just,

yeah, my wife would not be able to identify a book I have or letter from Santa.

Make sure it's the gold of oil.

Yeah, the letter sent via text.

You know what?

They're already in the basket.

Just check out.

I already ordered that.

Let me send you the link.

It's got a picture.

He opens it up.

It's like, not here yet.

You just open up.

It's just a printout of what he sent her.

Masterworks.

And we did,

for the first time ever, we did,

what's it called?

The

savage elephant.

White elephant?

The savage white elephant, where you take the gifts from people.

Yeah, we do that every year.

It's different.

Well,

I wanted a gift.

I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought.

Everybody tells me this is awesome.

So you're like Michael Scott with the iPod.

Remember that episode?

I wish I got an iPod.

No, no, that was that episode in the office.

You know, remember the episode in the office where

everybody was supposed to get the teapot.

Is that the one where Jim wanted to give the teapot to the girl?

Correct.

Jill, not Jill.

He gets pissed off because, you know, Phyllis makes him that stupid gift.

Pam.

Phyllis makes him that stupid gift.

Yeah.

Made out of like fucking some crochet.

No one of the iPod.

So

I told Deb, I was like, wrap up some iTunes gift cards and make sure I know what they look like.

like.

There's more iTunes.

And I'll grab them when it's my turn to go.

But somebody got the iTunes gift cards first, and then

I was given the stink eye when I was like, I'm going in for those iTunes gift cards.

I'm going to steal them from my brother-in-law.

And I got the wave off.

Like, don't do it.

Don't steal it.

Really?

I thought that's the whole point of the game.

She did not allow me to say.

Remember the cable boxing scene?

Yeah.

This is a different brother-in-law.

This is a different brother-in-law.

She knew.

She said that he could use the iTunes gift cards more than you can.

You can get your own iTunes gift cards.

Pick something else.

Don't take his iTunes gift cards.

You are Sunday chefs.

She's too happy with them.

So I was like, all right.

So I go in and I poor brow ping at the wall, man.

So I go in and I grab a gift off out of the

wing, huh?

Yeah.

Off the table.

And it was

some sort of holder

for a tablet.

And I'm not even sure if my tablet even fits in it.

So it's like a completely useless piece of equipment

that will never get taken out of the box.

That now has just become, should we just throw it out?

Is it rude if we throw it out?

I was like, whoa, return it.

Where'd you get it from?

I got a guy.

I got a guy I know.

It was so underwhelming and so useless and pointless.

I was like, I don't want to to do this anymore.

Oh, yeah, you're done with it.

I'm done with salty and shit because I didn't get his iTunes.

It would have been perfect.

I got my masterworks.

But when do you have my iTunes gift cards?

Is iTunes still around?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't it just Apple music now?

Well, you know, Apple is, you know, I guess I'm not sure.

But I'm saying, is there actual iTunes

that set up?

You can still do that stuff.

Yeah,

I think it's broken down into iTunes, but then it's broken down into like movies, music.

Right, but I'm saying that they still have that same format.

Like, you would download, like, if you had the iPod, you would plug it in, and you'd have that same format.

But I don't, but now it goes right to my phone when I purchase it, so it's like an on-the-cloud or something.

Yeah.

What'd you get, Sunday?

You had eight days.

No, I don't have eight days.

No,

you're not doing it right then because I've heard it's eight days.

I'm sure you would demand eight days if you were Jewish.

You'd be like, I want a master work done all eight days.

Eight iTunes gift cards.

Last day's the big day.

I want the omnibus.

But, yeah,

I got some nice devil stuff this year.

Did you?

Yeah, a nice, cool devil.

It almost looks like a jersey, but it's a hoodie.

Similar to the one you.

Why did you wear it?

I want to see it.

Because I just got off work.

You can't wear it out at work?

No.

It won't let you?

No, no.

Okay, what else did you get?

What else did I get?

I got a bunch of hoodies this year.

A bunch of zip-ups.

A lot of clothes.

A lot of clothes, huh?

Yeah, hard shops.

Do you

think that you're easy to shop for?

No, no, not according to the people I know.

He says, like,

so what are you buying?

Don't buy anything.

It's like, it's like, it's kind of like, you don't know.

It's just like if you saw something, like, you, you know, you buy those books.

So they don't, they're not going to know what book to get you.

I mean, same thing.

They're just, they know your likes or whatever.

It's like, what do I buy?

What movie do I buy for him that he doesn't fucking have like three or four times already?

You know, it's just like, it's, it's, it's hard.

So, but look, I'm always good.

Like my daughter got me an Amazon gift card.

She got me a Barnes and Noble's gift.

I'm fine with that.

It's not like it'll go to waste.

I use it.

I would use that Barnes and Noble gift card ASAP.

Oh, you think they're going out?

I think so.

I don't think they're long for this world.

They just put a brand new one up in Eatontown.

I know, but they're downsizing at a.

It is a smaller store, but I think they got better stuff there, though.

I was in there once.

They downsized over in Homeville, too.

Yes.

And the next step is yeah you know online only kiosk and then we'll done i'm sure online only yeah

kiosk

i'm sure i'll use it before then but amazon i mean amazon look buy whatever you want on amazon i'm fine with it a bunch of little stuff though it's pretty good though some people would say that like gift cards are that you don't put as much thought into them i don't care me personally

i'll it's like i'm fine with it bro i'm just i'm fine with it you know it's just like

would you rather have a you know something that you know that i know he's going to get something that he likes, you know, rather than just be like, here's a tablet cover.

Yeah, here's a tablet cover that doesn't fit my tablet.

I'll trade you initials.

You got a tablet, right?

It looks just like it fits perfectly in this.

I got a mini tablet, too.

And I don't even think it was, I don't even fit,

I don't think that this holder didn't even fit Apple products.

It's like a universal one where you got to just like stretch it.

Fits every tablet.

Dev was like, bring it into the office.

Avocado.

He can fix it.

He'll put it right for you.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, he'll do it.

He'll do it.

They're like, go get your tablet.

I'll do it.

I'm like, I'll bring it to him tomorrow.

You can fix it for me.

I wasn't saying to disparage Giddam.

I'm just like, I didn't even care enough

to go get my tablet and to try to set it up.

I'm like, at what point do I need, like, well, how much multitasking am I doing?

Then my hands have to be free to do other things that hold a tablet.

Never.

Right?

I'll tell you who made out like a bandit.

like kids

well they always do but it was teddy's first christmas as a christian look at him he's all still mocked out

yeah it was because he's uh christian dogs head pig over here

first the first four years of his life he was he had eight crazy nights and oh he converted him huh yeah he's a christian

you get eight presents don't let this fucker fool you got eight presents.

He got more than Christmas.

He got more than eight presents, believe me.

He came home with the most presents out of all of the Flanagans.

It's like elevated.

It's like levitating over there.

He's got so many presents.

Collars, leashes, jackets, bones.

Yep.

I hear you.

Same thing with the Johnsons.

The dog got more presents.

My owner.

All right.

Let me break up this fun.

We'll read some stuff and get it out of the way.

Oh, look at this.

We love how the hosts have fun with the Adam and Eve read so they don't have to read below verbatim.

So we're allowed to say whatever we feel like.

AdamandEve.com slash TESD, and you're going to get four sex toys for $20.

That's pretty sweet.

I get Mary Beth a sex toy every Christmas, and it was not $20.

No.

So four sex toys for $20 is a pretty good deal.

Start having more and better sex immediately.

You've got to take advantage of this brand new deal from Adam and Eve at adamandeve.com/slash TESD.

Go to adamandeve.com/slash TESD and pick any four sex toys for just 20 bucks.

You have anything in mind you'd pick Sunday, Jeff?

Yeah, no,

you have to comb the uh the site,

have to check it out, yeah, for sure.

Go to Adam and Eve.

I must have made a joke about this by now, though.

Like, imagine, like, how different would we look at Sunday when we first met him

if he was into collecting toys, but it was all the sex toys.

You thought he had a lot of fucking action figures.

Holy Christ.

Can you imagine?

Would we have become friends with him if

every time he was coming into the store, he was like, You guys don't have any

sex toys yet?

He wouldn't be sitting here right now.

No, definitely.

I don't think so.

It would have been too weird.

Every time I think of giving him a return, I'd be just like,

We we need to do a collector's corner.

I think you're right.

I don't think we would have probably

grown attached to him as much as we did when he was.

What's wrong with that guy?

He's a fucking free.

We're like, you only collect sex toys?

Like, what is it about it that

floats your boat, that you have to have them all?

Need them in all the different.

I need all the variants.

White, black, yellow.

Let's see.

This is a limited time offer.

So to get your four sex toys, so get your four sex toys while supplies last.

There's something for everyone.

Four toys for 20 bucks, literally saving up to 175 with this exclusive offer.

So take a look at adamandeve.com slash T-E-S-D to see what four sex toys will be yours.

At the height of your mania.

At the height of your mania.

At the absolute height.

They release limited edition four or five

different

lightsabers, but they're dildos.

You're not

at the height, though, when you're at your peak.

What like

R2D2 and all that?

Like, they're just replicas of Luke's lightsaber, but they can be used for, you know, what

you don't think that you'd be like, I mean, these look so cool.

Like,

they already made them.

Get them down a picture.

I already

get one?

No way.

But I know you say that now.

Look at that.

I would say that back then, too.

There's no way.

That has no

interest.

I think you forget how hooked you were.

I was, but it wasn't on fucking dildos.

It was on toys.

And that's not the toy.

If it had that Star Wars logo,

I think you'd be like, you know what?

I wasn't buying like all the candy bars.

I know this is fucked up, but these are limited pieces.

Don't use them.

Then, when you're going back through your stuff, when you're getting rid of all your shit, can you imagine stumbling across?

Yeah, it's like you gotta be 18 to come into my house to start looking at my collection.

It's like, what's going on?

They don't even look like sex toys, though.

Yeah, they do.

No, they don't.

Oh, they light up like lightsabers, too.

That's pretty dope.

I'm going to get you once.

You see that Star Wars logo?

I think you forget it.

You don't even care.

Oh, I do care.

You know how I feel about Star Wars now.

So,

all you got to do is go to adamandeve.com slash T-E-S-D.

It's the only way to get this offer.

Now,

that has to be

pirated shit.

There's no way that Disney is allowing Star Wars to be licensed out to sexual.

They got a toys.

They got a cut of it.

When I saw that Star Wars logo, that looked like a legitimate toys.

It looked like a legit logo, though, on it.

Well, the R2D2, you can kind of get away with, like, ah, it doesn't really look like him that much.

Darth Vader, there's no way around it.

Yeah.

It looks just like him.

All right.

Now, Sunday talks again, but I'm telling you, he doesn't remember the fucking

he

was a crackhead.

But for toys, though.

Yeah.

Like, he was as worse as any fucking real head crackhead you'd meet in Newark, chicken, New Jersey.

You're like, oh, here he comes.

Looking for Jones in for toys.

And all the times that you and I went on.

He's got white shit all over his lips.

I'll drive.

What kind of toys do you have?

He likes to paint a picture of himself that he wasn't.

I paint the picture.

Diseased.

I'll paint the picture.

You were with me plenty of times.

Never did I say hey, man.

Can you pull in here?

Don't.

No, they got

bowl.

Star Wars Gag Bull.

star that's star gagbull gag ball

nuts that's pretty great uh what do we what else do we got here let's see everyone says their 2025 is going to be different and for better for worse it will be the world will change whether you want to make a big resolution or not so maybe just keep it simple and say you'll hit the gym once and take it from there or call your mom

then it says or someone else maybe in case you're like if your mom's not around uh you could plan a big trip or even just go on more walks to clear your head.

Wait a second.

You could plan a big trip or even just go on more.

And then it says, if appropriate to your audience, hot girl in parentheses.

What is this for?

This is for Raycon.

This is all about Adam and Eve.

Yeah, this is for Raycon.

Sure.

Yeah.

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And then I'm supposed to mention my favorite color if I haven't seen other earbuds in that color before.

My favorite color is black.

That's the ones I got.

Yeah, that's the ones I like.

Still got them.

Working fine.

So I use them.

I've made no secret of this.

I'm a Raycon

acolyte, apostle, whatever it is.

I'm not sure what the word is.

I wear them all the time.

I like to give you those inserts that fix your ear like perfect.

That's what I like about them.

Yep.

Sounds a bit too.

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All right, I got one more.

Should we just go for it and get it out of the way?

Yeah, it's a short one.

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We got no Quinn, though, so that's a problem.

Quinn loves Factor.

He could be a spokesperson, I bet.

Just the one with the meals?

Yeah.

Really?

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Q is not here, so we're going to have to just skip over the personal experience.

That works eats them all the time.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I see him eating them all the time.

I've had it before.

It's really good.

Well, isn't it like regular food?

It's just regular food, yeah.

You just eat marketing fast.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

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Okay.

Factor's got to love that.

Just one guy at the table just goes,

some guy I know at work.

some,

I've never tried them before.

Maybe I should.

Well, what a ringing indoor side.

He likes them, so obviously he eats them all the time.

I know, but just the way

you just could have said, I love them, I eat them all the time.

Then I'd be like one of your politicians.

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

That's what, yeah, you're right.

Selling out for the man.

Yeah.

So I'm going to put a link

on our X account

for this week.

Tell him Steve Dave if you don't follow us on X, formerly Twitter.

There's

an aunt

and

she's trying to

win a contest.

Adam Bagley's Billy the Brave comic, inspired by Billy's incredible courage during his battle with DIPG Brain Cancer, has been nominated for a Comic Scene Award for Best Charity Comic.

But it's up against some big hitters.

Have you heard of these?

DUI and Shift It?

Have you heard of either of those comics?

No,

I have not.

I'm a masterworks.

I've been out of it.

Yeah,

so this nomination is a huge win, but taking home the award would be monumental.

Okay, so what we're gonna do, it's called Billy the Brave, and I will put up the links to both Facebook and the regular,

you know, know

regular uh uh website shit

and uh that's it for Billy the Brave that sucks

that is terrible brain cancer uh what else have I got here oh New Year what'd you do for New Year's Waltz anything

I went to a casino did you I think that's maybe where I got where I I was not feeling great before I went and then I felt okay and then when I came back from that'cause I had some fucking seniors coughing all over me.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Where'd you go down to AC?

New York.

New York?

Yeah, we met the Franks.

Get out of here.

Yeah.

Really?

I tell you,

seniors love to gamble.

Yeah, well, they saved their whole lives.

I'm like, what am I going to do with this money?

I might as well fucking feed into it.

You're supposed to be that senior, too.

Feed into the slot machines.

I lost about a hundred bucks.

Killed me.

Yeah, it hurts.

It It hurts to lose.

Blink of an eye at second.

My wife continues, though, to be on this streak where she walked away with 500 bucks.

It's not fair.

I don't know how she does it.

I told her she should write a book.

She has a method.

Yeah.

Oh, she does have a method?

Yeah.

But it's,

I think it's everybody follows this method, though.

I can't imagine she's the only one.

She plays the slots, but

if she wins, she won't play on that machine anymore.

And I'm like, that's not a a method.

I think a lot of people assume that the machine's not going to pay out again.

She's being in every place at the right time.

It's not,

you know.

And that's one of the things you have the least best odds of winning is slot machines.

Yeah, she's constantly wins on them, though.

But I mean, if you play big and you hit a couple of bonus rounds and you walk away, you could do all right.

That's the thing.

She probably walks away.

I found a fucking never seen this before.

A quarter

blackjack machine.

Really?

That's 25 cents a hand.

And you still manage to lose 100 bucks?

I'm not kidding around.

I've been playing for three days.

There was another machine.

There was a point where I had lost 30 hands in a row, and I was like, this is definitely fixed.

Right.

Like, I would pull a 20, and the machine would go flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip.

Like seven cards

to 21.

That's why it's only a quarter.

And I was just like, this is definitely,

there's something not right here because there's no way I should lose like 13 hands in a row, 14 hands in a row, and then

finally win one and then lose another 13 in a row.

Now, when you win, how much do you win?

Do you just quarter?

Oh, you double your quarter because you're playing a quarter at a time.

Okay, I had never seen that before, though.

What casino is this?

Frank called it the Indian Casino.

Do you go to Connecticut or New York?

Did you go to New York?

Meet him in New York and went to the New York City.

Connecticut is far.

Why would we go to Connecticut?

That's where the other two casinos are that are owned by Indian Realms.

Oh, Oh, okay, yeah.

You got Foxwoods and

Mohegan Sun.

Yeah.

People dress up too for New Year's

casino.

Oh, yeah.

Wearing gowns and shit.

I saw it when I went out to dinner.

Way dressed up.

Yeah, people are just like, you'd think they're going to like, you know,

like a ball.

Yeah.

Yeah, like sparkles going on.

Exactly.

It was just like, I'm at a corner.

I had my smites on.

You didn't fit in?

That homeless guy in here.

You played that quarter slot machine.

But then some fucker just sat down next to me.

He was just like,

that's where I got

on.

I'm like, damn, like, this guy better not get me sick.

And then he did.

But I was not feeling great before I even got there, though.

So I can't blame that guy.

Sure, you can.

What did you do for New Year's?

You went out to dinner, you say?

Yeah, I went out to nice dinner.

Well, yeah, I went out to dinner.

It's quiet.

Where at?

It's a nice Italian restaurant.

You want to say, huh?

That's your place?

You want anybody to know?

I don't really remember the name of the place.

You know what?

I believe it.

Yeah, I don't remember the place.

I saw somebody in the food there.

They seem to enjoy it.

I've eaten there once.

I really don't remember.

It was just that they made the result.

What town?

This is your president, by the way.

I don't know.

I just want to put Biden back in office.

Manisquan.

Manisquan, okay.

Off 34?

It's on 35.

35.

Okay.

Yeah, no, it's good.

Their food's always been good.

I'm sure they could have used the little plug, but it's not to be.

I think it's Angeles.

I'm not sure.

Did you make it to midnight?

Oh, yeah.

Antonio's?

And after.

Rang in the new year.

Doing what?

And I liberty say.

Oh, wow.

Oh, okay.

2025.

He's not waiting for it.

The second.

Oh, get him, found it.

That's it.

What's the name of it?

Is that Angela's?

Antonios.

Antonios.

Antonios.

Food's really good.

What'd you get?

I liked it.

I got some chicken parmesan.

I got some calamari.

Oh, squid?

Fried calamari, yeah.

That's why you were able to make it after midnight.

That's an aphrodisiac, isn't it?

I don't know if it's

oysters, but

it's got a squid riff.

Come here, honey.

I don't think I was.

At least nobody was fucking coughing on me.

Squidly diddly over there.

Play your fucking arcade games and have people coughing on you all night.

Did he make any resolutions?

Nah.

He gave it some thought.

You know, he did.

Resolution.

You know what?

There's not one thing that you'd be like, you know what, I'm going to do this year?

I'm going to do this.

Or I'm not going to do this.

Nothing, huh?

No.

I'm not going to buy Star Wars Dill Doys.

Dill Doys.

Dildo.

Dildo's.

You say Dildoys.

Whatever it

Did you make it at midnight?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Not much longer after midnight, though.

Yeah.

Didn't ring in the bell?

No.

I was still tired.

Oh, so when did you go to the casino?

There wasn't day.

I was there at midnight.

No, we went at

like 9.

Oh, you stayed there.

You didn't come back home?

Came home the next day.

Next day, okay.

January 1st.

Gotcha.

Where did you eat?

I was trying to figure it out.

Chick-fil-A.

That's a hard name to forget.

Get them.

Can you find that?

Chick-fil-A.

They had some

really nice chicken nuggets

that I really enjoyed.

You both had chickens, Sunday, why are you judging them?

You just had a little more sauce on yours.

And then I had some casino pizza,

which did not agree with me later on at night when I woke up coughing with some acid reflux.

Real pizza, like New York pizza, or was it Chuck E.

Cheese style pizza?

It was Chuck E.

Cheese style pizza.

And the sauce, definitely, I had some acid.

I haven't had acid reflux in

maybe two years.

I woke up with acid reflux.

It's just the worst.

It's the worst.

It is literally the worst.

No dominoes does that to me.

Domino's destroy.

It's like my esophagus.

It looked like that guy's fucking house with all the fire around his house.

It just, it doesn't.

After a certain hour, right?

You can't eat Domino's.

No matter how much fucking water you drink, it just doesn't go away.

I've heard the worst.

I don't ever get it.

You just got to sit there and wait.

If I eat that pizza at night?

Or anytime.

If I eat that pizza anytime.

So you can eat it at noon and then.

No, no, no.

I'm saying if I eat Domino's, period, like when I used to eat Domino's, it would always, always give me that problem.

Nothing else gives you a problem.

Even if you went to bed like 12 hours after eating?

What are you talking about?

I just told you, Domino's gives it to me anytime, whether it's in the daytime or nighttime, doesn't matter.

Domino's period.

So you could have it while you're sitting up?

Like right now, if you would have dominoes two hours ago,

you don't have to lie down.

Like it gives me bad heartburn.

Yeah, like it does.

It would bother me.

You know what?

Okay, what I, when it when you lay down, it's when I'm sleeping and laying down.

Right, but I got the acid reflex.

Like if I actually have that when I'm standing up, too.

Like, if I'm sitting up, I've never had it.

It'll bother me.

Yeah, their sauce just like it's like their sauce is fluffy.

It's like battery acid for me.

Yeah, I agree.

So I've never, last time I probably had it was like probably in the 90s.

But I don't get it at all.

I mean, that's the only thing that gives me, that's the only thing that bothers me.

You swore it off.

Yeah, I won't eat their pizza.

Unless you change the sauce.

Not taking that chance.

Yeah, I found that

when I was fatter,

I would get it a lot more.

I would get it a lot more, too.

And what would do it to me were like spaghetti sauce, like, you know, tomato sauce, and chocolate.

Chocolate and soda.

Yes.

Like all that shit.

I love the sauce, the dipping sauce for Pizza Hut with the cheese sticks.

But

I have to be disciplined.

I have to eat it before

6 p.m.

Eat it after 6 p.m.

You're taking a chance with fluorescence.

You're going to bed at 6.30?

No, but even let's say I go to bed at midnight or 1.

It still might not be enough.

I know it still might not be enough time for me to get it past the stage.

Well, no, no, no, no.

I got to stay up for another hour.

Yeah,

there's not a chance on the planet I will eat it after seven.

Yeah, I can't.

That's too much, man.

That's the worst, too.

It just doesn't go away.

Yeah, it takes a while.

You're like sleeping in the morning, and then all of a sudden it'd be just like, it would come up.

Yeah, it's like literally you can't.

You can't get rid of it.

It's like no matter how much water you drink, it's the nastiest shit tasting bile biome or whatever you did, whatever

it is,

it's terrible.

Yeah, think about it.

It's like it's meant to break down food.

So, like, why wouldn't it break down your throat?

Yeah, why wouldn't it break down your throat?

Yeah.

Any resolutions?

I have none except I'm going to try to spend my time more wisely, not watching so much TV.

Like, I got really into it.

Hey, don't you laugh at me, get them.

You got movies.

Yeah, I do get movies for Christmas.

But I watched a show and I got really into the Oregon Trail.

Like, you know,

the westbound trail that they in the 1840s, 1850s.

Yeah.

And just like the Donner party and all that shit.

And I've just been reading a lot on that lately.

So I'm educating myself on American history.

I don't know what good it'll do me.

I'm 57.

Who gives a fuck?

Never too late.

I don't know what good it's going to do me knowing about the Oregon Trail, but I just, it's interesting.

What is it?

I mean, it's sincerity.

What about it interests you, though?

The hardships.

The hardships.

Like how difficult it must have been and the balls these people must have had.

Or brainless, some of them.

Now, what were they

up against?

Wild animals.

Elements.

The elements, dysentery.

What kind of animals, though,

would be dangerous?

Wolves.

Bears and wolves.

Yeah, they said they ran into a lot of bears and wolves.

They didn't have guns?

They did.

They did.

And

they could ward ward them off.

But

I think, you know, if you're out going to the bathroom or something, you get surprised by a wolf or a pack of wolves, maybe, you know.

Get done.

And this still exists, this trail.

I think you can take it, but

it's not like a real trail

anymore.

Yeah.

Like

I was reading, it was like this one guy was like, hey, man, I found a shortcut, everybody.

So people listened.

It was called Hastings Cut Off.

And the guy had not

used the trail.

So when people got there, they're like, what the fuck?

There's trees in the way.

There's mountains in the way.

I found a shortcut.

It's called a plane.

Yeah.

So the trail exists as it did back in the day?

I think pretty much, yeah.

That's what your goal should be.

To walk the trail.

To walk the trail.

Gets eaten by a wolf.

I thought of like Nichelle.

I was like, what a reality show that would be if people tried, like, you took what they took with them, you know, the 150 pounds of flour the fucking 75 pounds of bacon all that shit you know and then yeah they would take bacon with them because it's cured yeah so

really yeah so they would take that's why all the fucking bears are fucking chasing you probably like taking his bacon and fucking

like this

you gotta wipe all of your hands and shit yeah but like i've like after i watched deadwood i really romanticized the 1800s i was like what a great time it would have been to live and then you go and you read about it it's like no every part of it seems to suck Well, I don't think you could walk it.

I didn't realize it stretched through different, all these states, but you could ride your bike across it.

I mean, everybody left from Missouri, Independence, Missouri.

It's a hell of a trail.

You can't

motorcycle across that?

I don't think so.

No, you're like going across plains and other people's property at this point.

Back then, it was all open.

No, we're just going through the trail people walking.

They haven't preserved it as a natural, as a one of the

parts of it they have, like where the Donner Party died, like they preserved that.

But you're telling me that some of the trail then is covered up by asphalt and fucking strip malls?

Probably.

I would have to guess so.

Well, then you know you're not.

Well, then you, I mean, I don't know if that'd make a great reality show then.

Well, it depends.

I mean, if you can, like, go around it.

You know, if you can, I mean, I'm not sure.

Like, if I'll bet you, like, when you're going through Nebraska and Wyoming,

still the same, yeah, still the same area.

But yeah, when they were going back then, it was like they had to worry about Indians, too.

Like, a lot, like, some Indian tribes are nice, but like, a lot lot of those Indians are kind of assholes.

That's a casino Titan.

I'm telling you, that's what your goal should be, is to is to you and Mary Beth get her a bike.

She can't ride a bike.

All right, she has to ride in the back of yours.

You motorcycle.

She doesn't know how to ride a bike.

No, she doesn't know how to ride a bicycle.

What's it called?

The Oregon Trail.

Oregon Trail.

You do the Oregon Trail.

I know somebody did do it.

I saw a book about it, but I didn't buy it.

So I'll look at his book and see.

I mean, yeah, you definitely want to get off at a certain point so you can you know, get a hotel room for the night.

Sure.

But it probably would take only a couple days, right?

What are you talking about?

It's like

2,000 miles.

That's like half the country.

That's not that far, right?

Wait a minute, though.

We drove two.

We drove from Jersey to fucking to California in five.

Yeah, but these guys are going like 12, 15 miles a day.

And they're also walking.

No, no, no, you're taking a motorcycle.

You're not taking a horse.

He just said he can't go over it.

It's all terrain.

Yeah, I think it's...

I don't think that's...

Why your motorcycle can't get get over all terrain.

No, it's not a dirt bike.

It's a fucking regular motorcycle.

Yeah, but it's still a motorcycle, though.

Yeah, but that doesn't matter.

I'll be falling off.

No 18-wheeler, can I take an 18-wheeler around a racetrack?

It's still got, you know, it's still got wheels and engine.

Here you go.

Stallone.

I saw Stallone ride a motorcycle as Rambo over in a jungle.

That was a dirt bike.

You're telling me you don't think you can handle your bike on the Oregon Trail?

He assaulted like some 16-year-old kid to take that bike.

Let me ask you,

how much of me resembles Rambo in any way, shape, or form?

But you know how to ride the bike, though.

I do know how to ride the bike, but I just feel like if this was the Oregon Trail right here, I can't drive over that grass and stuff.

It's just grass.

I know, but there's rocks and stuff.

There's trees in the way.

I guess you go around the tree.

He's got no reality.

I got to bring stuff with me.

I'm going to roast his brain.

Yes, you bring some water.

You bring some, no bacon, you bring some health cars.

But every day you get off the trail and find a fucking interstate so you could stay at a fucking couple of interstate.

Oh, here's the rules.

Ride the modern Oregon Trail.

Oregon Trail Rides.

That guy's on a motorcycle.

You're right.

Yeah, what the hell's wrong with you guys, man?

You guys are fucking soft.

Then it's not a trail.

There's fucking trails.

It's not a trail.

Oh, you know what?

Let me go to Mount Everest.

Just helicopter up me up there.

That's all.

It's the same thing.

Actually, my dream of going to Everest, I've kind of put it on.

I don't even rule on anymore.

Did you know there's like

almost half of Mount Everest?

Like, if you were to take off half of it,

the reason it's so high is because it's so much shit piled on top of it.

Like, literal human shit.

Makes it the highest mountain that there is.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm not fucking with you.

How many feet?

20,000 feet?

So 10,000 feet is a real mountain.

Hill 10,000 is just shit.

Yes.

Right?

Right, get him?

Mountain Everest.

Climbers will need to bring Pooh back to base camp.

Okay, yeah, you're right.

They're shitting all over the mountain.

There's so much human excrement up there that the mountain is

every year it becomes a little bit taller because of all the shit that's on it.

The excrement doesn't and because of the humidity not the humidity but the environment it doesn't break down gets too cold up there.

So it just lasts forever And every shit on top of shit, on top of shit, eventually it starts to make the mountain grow even taller.

So everybody's shitting in the same place.

Yeah.

So I see a pile of shit and I go try to shit on top of that pile to make the mountain bigger.

Then another guy is going to go on top of there, get a ladder to shit, even make that even higher.

I think there's only so many places you can shit.

There's no bathrooms up there.

What do you think they're going to do?

Yeah, I understand.

But I don't think, I think there's a lot of the same routes that go up, like the safe routes up the top of the mountain.

Oh, long routes you're talking about.

So you're going to want to stay and crap

off those routes.

You're not going to want to take a long,

you're like, I need privacy.

I'm going to take a half a mile trek down this way because you've got to conserve your energy.

You don't have the oxygen.

So you shit where mostly you say, oh, this person shot there.

So I'll shot there.

Yeah, you walk a little bit away from base camp.

Yeah.

Do your business.

Three tons.

Three tons of it?

Oh, yeah.

Although no official figure exists, the organization estimates that there are around three tons of human excrement between three tons bro you laughed at me you laughed at me so i don't know if that made the mountain higher

i don't know if that's making the mountain higher that it's even higher now that so the guy who it looks like climbed it it looks like a chocolate can't be broken it looks like a chocolate sundae at this point that's what it looks like it's like white ice cream and the top of it is glazed in fucking chocolate syrup because there's so much shit up there

and who the fuck who the fuck wants to trapes around in that i wouldn't do do it anyways.

Right?

But I used to romanticize it.

Like, I want to do it.

I would love to try it.

I wouldn't want to step foot near anywhere near something like that.

How far we got?

I can still see my car.

Is it much farther?

No.

There's hardly any ice and snow, so you will see.

Sure, there's a lot more dead body.

There's probably plenty of dead bodies up there, too.

Well, yeah, they can't take the shit down.

They can't.

They can't get, well, three times is a lot.

But I was going to say they can't gather it it up and like slide it down the hill or something, put it on a sledge.

I don't know why they can't burn it

to burning, right?

Why can't they burn it?

Low oxygen.

Oh, really?

No fires?

No campfires?

Low oxygen.

Propane.

Propane.

All right.

So you can't waste the propane by burning shit.

Because that's the first thing I would do.

And I'd be like, hey, rookie,

don't waste your propane trying to burn all this shit.

Burn this.

Yeah, but

if you really have this love affair with the Oregon Trail, you should one day drive it.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I've really only like looked into, I haven't looked into modern-day Oregon Trail, so I'm not even sure what it is, like, or where it goes anymore, but I've just been, you know, following the story.

And where is it?

It's

Missouri.

That's the point of it, though.

You just don't want to ride on a road.

I mean,

it's just like driving across the country on a regular road.

You want to actually go on the trail.

You're going to be a National Historic Trail.

Well, to do that, you need to be able to drive over grass, though.

And he's very unsure of himself.

No, you would need special.

They did it with horses.

Right.

A motorcycle should be able to handle what any wood horse can do.

If I got a dual sport bike, yeah, I could do it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's a dual sport bike?

Like, it has knobby tires, so it grips better.

Like, my tires are made for roads.

They're not made for trails.

But, like, my brother has a bike like that.

Borrow his.

What's it?

Or ask him to come with you.

You might need it.

It'd be good to have a second person with you.

Yeah, he knows a lot about myself.

And he has to use

how many Exxon stations do you have.

I think they're on that trail.

I don't mean to disparage Q, but BQ has been in Hollywood way too long.

He is not capable of traveling the Oregon Trail.

He's not.

No

five-star hotels on there.

He can't bring his assistant with him, so there's no way he's going.

He can't.

He can just hover over there with a helicopter.

Yeah, so that's what I've been doing.

I did nothing on New Year's.

Stayed home,

ordered some dinner.

Didn't even watch the Winter Classic.

I'm glad.

Can we end with some sports talk?

Sure.

Why not?

The Winter Classic.

Did you see the abysmal ratings for the Winter Classic?

Well, it's overdone now, but I'm saying I didn't even watch it.

I didn't even know it was on, let alone.

But is this the one that you went to with Gidham last year?

It's an outdoor game.

It's something like that.

I don't know why.

That was the outdoor series.

That was.

Stadiums are.

Yeah, stadiums.

I don't know why they're

why some are called outdoor classics and others are called the winter classics.

I don't understand it either.

It's like, why are they doing like

the object wasn't to have the one game?

The novelty has worn off.

It's the same teams over and over.

I mean, wasn't it Chicago, I think, in this one?

Oh, yeah, it was Chicago.

But I'm saying it's always the same team.

It's either Philadelphia, Chicago, it's Detroit.

It's always the same team.

I mean, obviously, because you can't really have stuff out in the West, but

they did do some games out in the West.

Yeah, if I was the NHL, I'd be like, we got to kill the Winter Classic and bring it back in 10 years, make people want it again.

Because right now, it's.

What were the ratings?

I missed it.

Game's probably pulling them up.

Okay.

I mean, you saw the one

the Devils, the Devils Game

at MetLife.

Definitely not set up for a hockey arena.

So it's got, I mean, how far could you really see what was going on?

I could see nothing.

Right.

So you have to look at the jumbo drone, right?

I saw nothing.

I had no idea what was going on.

What happened?

People scored.

People are standing up.

Who scored?

I don't know how.

I saw a helicopter flew over us i could see the i could see the brand name of the guy's glasses he was wearing who was driving a helicopter that's how close we were to the helicopter than we were to the stadium get him must have been excited this is the closest i'm going to get to everest

and there's no

oh get him just like i said there's no

stadium is just a little higher yeah

but

yeah i would definitely put the kibosh on the nhl

I'm looking here.

It's the lowest rating from 2020 to now.

I mean, from 2020, it's dropped precipitously.

Yeah.

Like, I said it's been a lot of the same teams: Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Detroit.

It's always been the same teams.

And I have said this: you go back on Puck Nuts or TSD.

I don't know where I said it, but I have been of this mindset from the very beginning.

I do not know why this

was such a

game changer.

Who cares?

The only difference between this game and a regular game is that there's no roof overhead.

Who the fuck cares?

Like, do something.

You went out one of the games?

Right.

And

it was

cold.

It was cold.

I was freezing.

But at the end of the day,

they're just outside.

That's the only difference.

Why is this a big deal?

The goalies wear in the hats.

I mean,

I thought it was pretty cool when they did it in Canada for the first time.

It was just like

a novelty game.

Like, you did it just for that.

I don't know if you need to do it every year.

I don't think you need to do it.

I wouldn't do it.

I'd do a 10-year moratorium.

Is that the right word?

Yeah.

Pronounced correctly.

Yeah.

Good.

On the outdoor games.

No more outdoor games.

Come up with a new concept, a new twist that'll get to capture people's imaginations.

And it may think outside the box.

Like, maybe, what's a winter animal?

Polar bear?

Too dangerous.

Penguin?

Penguin.

At one point during each period, a penguin is released on the ice, and you have to play around it.

That's it with a slapshot.

Got an animal activist kind of energy and shit.

Sat there with a stretcher.

You know, all these emperor, $10,000, $20,000 Emperor penguins you're pulling out.

Or you do that.

Walrus, like at the commercial.

The guy's sleeping.

He's like, no sleepies.

No sleepies, Duncan.

You got to do a thing outside the box at this point to get people.

It's called the circus, though.

That's called the circus.

That's not fucking a hockey game anymore.

You're like in Russia, didn't they?

Yeah, Russian bears with the hats and shit riding between the cycles.

Fucking fantasy world.

It's out of control, man.

I think when he was rearranging those books, I think the fucking bookcase fell out of the wall and fell on his head.

That's what you need.

I'd go see that game, though.

I would definitely go see it.

If it was a Walrus and goalie?

Yeah.

And another, I wanted to hit another sports talk.

Lions,

my Detroit Lions,

I'm happy for them.

Yeah, they clinched number one overall in the NFC.

Never been done before by that team.

So it was very.

Actually, in the league, Spicy had the best record in the league because Kansas City lost.

Or was it two games?

Same amount.

But they had never achieved that before.

It was really cool to see.

And

oh, fuck, what was I going to say now?

Tell them, Steve Dave.

Who you got in your Super Bowl then?

I'm going to say Detroit and Kansas City.

Wow.

Oh, I hope so.

I can't pick the Lions, though, because that's a jinx, I think, to pick the Lions.

But

you're we haven't spoken, though.

Your Giants released Daniel Jones.

Oh,

we told, well, I knew about that.

I don't care about the Giants right now, man.

It's hard to watch that team.

It's just hard.

Hard to watch that team.

I mean, it's like, I know there's bad.

I don't know what it feels to be a Jet fan all those years.

I mean, it's just like even the Jets didn't play that well this year.

No,

getting that quarterback, it wasn't going to make the difference there.

It wasn't going to make a difference.

Just not.

It's hard to watch these games.

It's just like that was, they only won one home game this year.

Giants?

Yeah.

The last one, right?

It was the last home game, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you've been a Lions guy forever.

Do you feel pressure now?

Like with

doing so well?

Oh, yeah.

I was going to be in that time that it comes over the hump, like Tampa Bay, you know, won a Super Bowl.

Yeah, but there's still so many good teams out there.

There is.

I mean, you got the Eagles.

And a lot of listeners assume that I'm some sort of bandwagon.

No, as long as I know you'll always like Detroit.

I need you to testify for me, Sunday.

No, you've always liked Detroit.

Yeah.

Put your hand up.

I mean, it's just.

You just swear I don't know.

It's definitely true.

He's always liked Detroit.

Now, and the reason they're like, well, I never heard you talk about the Lions.

And I'm just like, I don't think

about it.

I don't say you weren't.

I don't know if you were really ever a Patriots fan.

You just were a Brady fan.

Exactly.

You liked the quarterback.

And when he left, I.

I used that loosely.

I loved the quarterback.

And when he left the Patriots, I followed him to Tampa.

How do you think about the announcing?

I think he's doing a really good job.

I like like him as an announce.

Yeah, I think he's

won people over.

Yeah.

You know, it took him a while.

Won at first, right?

It took a little while.

It took a while.

Well, that was like, what's his name, too?

Like, I like Romo also as a.

I like them all.

And there's no announcer that I'm like, oh, God, I can't bear to hear them.

I like Aikman.

I like Romo.

I like, who's the other wacko?

Collinsworth.

I like them all.

I don't think any of them do.

Al Michaels?

Al Michaels and his color guy.

I don't.

They're kind of bland, but I don't hate hate them, though.

Well, he's done a lot.

The other guy he's done.

Streitzberg or something like that?

Yeah, I'm just saying that it's like, I don't know.

There's always something with, I just never really liked Al Michaels' voice.

Who's Al Michaels' color guy?

Tyrico or something.

No, Talrico is the guy on Sunday night.

Al Michaels and Kirk something.

He always travels with a dog, which has a warm spot for me.

He always brings a dog with him?

Yeah.

He brings his dog everywhere.

He's like me.

I wish I could bring my dog everywhere.

To the casino.

Teddy, hit the button.

Kirk Street?

Kirk Herb Street.

Yes, Kirk Street.

Kirk Herb Street.

Yeah, these games are on Prime, too.

Playing that game again.

I got Prime.

Not everybody has Prime.

Do you have Prime?

I don't have it personally.

Oh, are you hinting that you want my password?

I'll give it to you someday.

You got it.

I'll hook you up.

I'd rather have foo boo.

You have to have foo boo?

I can't get a foo boo because my guy will know.

Because you have to have a separate account.

So, yeah, he'll know immediately with my

guys there.

You can have 10 TVs.

I cannot give you the foo boo.

We're going to have to talk.

You know what?

The only way you get the foo boo is if all of a sudden you're ordering Masterworks from the Stash.

Nadie Den will talk foo-boo.

Come on, Steve David.

Hey, Jeffrey.

Hey, Jeffrey.

You're ordering Masterworks now, Jeffrey?

Yeah,

that.

There's no Jeffrey in my house.

No, it's like I'm doing this.

I'm doing your boss's fucking rotation.

That's not a good one.

It's not a good one.

Hey, bud, I noticed you've been ordering Masterworks.

Spider-Man.

I forgot this before.

Who else is here?

Next one?

Silver Surfer.

Would it stand down?

The only one I get is

Ghost Rider.

It's the only one I get.

Who are many are they up to?

Well, there's only one more left for Ghost Rider.

No, I'm saying have they crossed 400 in Masterworks yet?

No.

Getting very close.

Close, right?

380, 390.

Yeah.

That's nuts.

They'll never have them.

That's how many volumes there are?

Yeah, they only put, like, I think nine?

Are there nine?

Ten issues.

Ten issues

in a volume.

Do you know how many X-Men issues there?

But

I have a cut-off mark.

Oh, you're not going to continue?

No, like certain series, I'm like, once again, to the 90s, it's like it was Drek.

So I'm out.

Didn't you get that Dazzler or whatever?

Yeah,

hey, man, I'm not proud of the entire collection.

You know, so it's like, oh, and that

goes from it goes from like 416 to 423.

He's not going to be able to sleep.

No,

beyond astral reflux for him.

Yeah,

that is a disease that you know.

Well, if you see

416 and it jumps all the way to 420, yeah, you can't abide by that.

Oh, yeah, you know what I mean?

That's like having a limb missing.

That's right.

There's something incomplete.

And it will eat at you.

Yes.

And gnaw at you until you go online and buy it.

Buy the 90s and now I got to spend even more money for it because I didn't pick it up when it came out.

Exactly.

But do you have all the early ones too?

All of them.

All of them, huh?

The only ones I don't have are the Atlas.

I don't know if you even know what this is, the Atlas versions.

When before Marvel,

before before Marvel became Marvel, they were Atlas timely.

Like this is what we're talking, the Golden Age.

Oh, you don't make volumes?

Golden Age volumes?

It's like Golden Age Marvel or something, right?

Yeah, I don't have that because

I wasn't around for that.

It is, but I don't, for me personally,

I have no

connection to it.

I have no exposure to it.

So you've never read them at all.

Never read them.

Maybe in reprints in the back of some 70s issues, but I have no desire to have those issues.

And, you know, maybe if I get that wing

that I've been trying to work on, maybe then maybe I'll expand and get the golden, but for now, the fucking library congressional.

I got to play it close to the vest.

I can't have everything.

You want the Masterworks?

You have to go take this ticket, invalidate your parking.

It's down the call.

Do you think there's any possibility that the ants could pay to come and not give them a tour of my library?

Could be.

You weren't even allowed to take gift cards away from your brother-in-law.

I think your wife's going to let all these random people in the house.

A dollar per tour.

If you throw the backyard in there, you might.

The compliments on the backyard, you might.

All right, maybe

$10.

$10 seems to be a good thing.

If you're $10 and take a tour, I could tell you my first personal favorite volumes.

So you'd like fucking Forrest Ackerman now.

People are just coming in his house.

Fucking Flana Mansion.

How many tours in there do you think I could put?

I'll bet you more than you think.

People come in here, you're not too far from here.

So

got to talk to her about that.

Yeah.

What do you think?

Get a picture with Teddy.

Extra 20 bucks.

Pop it up.

Yeah, pop it up.

It's true.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.