#622: Doctors of Podology

You gotta chop your gun before you go in.

I tidal my way into this.

I tiddled my way out of houses.

You don't get that one as a construction worker.

Oh, or subway driver.

Yes, yeah.

I never got any of that.

Or MIA.

Tell him Steve.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave.

Hey, Walt.

Hello.

Walt's back in action, feeling good, huh?

I'm completely 100% recovered from whatever it was that I had.

Last year, you didn't, I mean, last week you didn't want to laugh because you said it sounded too gross.

You were too phlegmy.

I'm completely phlegm-free.

Nice.

We're going to laugh it up.

And of course.

So please.

Make me laugh this way.

Make you laugh today.

Okay.

I tried last week.

It didn't work.

And of course, BQ.

Hey.

hey, guys.

Who single-handedly picked the worst possible week to go to L.A.

in the whole year.

There will not be another week that's worse to go.

I mean, I guess if the state falls off and goes into the water, like that would be a worse week.

But yeah, it'll land on like the first day of the wildfires and like just be there for that was pretty crazy.

Was it a business trip or was it a vacation?

It was business.

So was the business postponed?

All of it.

Oh, yeah.

Well, every ounce of the reason I went out there

for nothing.

But that's not the tragedy I'd like to focus on.

Walta.

It was funny because I was supposed to be meeting

everybody I was supposed to meet out there either lost their houses or were living in a hotel.

And it was like, all right, this is fucking crazy.

And I went to the hotel to visit my friend, the Biltmore, downtown LA.

Beautiful.

It's where they shot Ghostbusters.

I learned when they walk into bus slimer.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, like when he's flying in the ballroom above that.

I got to see all that anyway.

It was a who's who's of Hollywood.

There were celebrities in the, in the lot, everybody was, like, living in downtown L.A.

to escape the fires.

And everybody had dogs, which was kind of fun.

But it was crazy, man.

It was like, it was like three vaults.

Everywhere you looked, there were these giant, just plumes of smoke.

The whole city stunk.

I was in my room and like...

A haze started entering.

That's when I was like, I just got, I'm going to leave.

Like, when smoke started coming in my hotel room, I was like, I guess I'm just going to go home.

Yeah, you were there for a while, though, because I talked to you on Thursday, and you sounded not happy.

No,

you flew home Thursday night, right?

Yeah.

On the red eye.

I was fucking the worst.

An hour on the tarmac.

Six hours in the air.

Maybe I am the biggest tragedy to come out of this coach,

sitting next to a fan the whole flight.

Oh, were you?

Oh, oh,

oh, to be burning.

That's what you got.

And you missed the first Telem Steve Dave of the year.

So that's your punishment right there.

I paid.

I suffered.

I suffered.

I felt bad for you.

I was like, God, he went out there for no fucking reason.

And is he going to be able to get back?

Because I wasn't sure what the

yeah, it was pretty crazy.

I couldn't believe what I say.

I think that people, like,

look, I haven't been there now for a week, so I don't think I realized, but like, at the time, I was like, this is worse than people realize.

Like, just the whole city, just everywhere I went, just smoke smelled like it.

The fire across the street from the hotel I was staying.

Like, literally across the street.

And they put that one out pretty fast.

I watched the whole time, like, giving hints

under my breath to myself.

You guys missed a spot.

That's going to flare up.

But yeah,

it was pretty great.

I feel really bad.

I mean, it's just like, it's madness out there.

I don't know what they're going to do.

I know.

It's beyond major reconstruction.

Cities are gone.

Like, I know everybody just thinks LA is one big city, but like Palisades is really its own city.

Like, it's just gone.

Yeah, it's nuts.

Yeah, that's what, like, some people are giving Chloe Kardashian shit because she lives in Calabasas and she was like, you know, Mayor Bass, you suck or whatever.

You're useless.

And they're like, fuck you.

It's not even your mayor.

It's like, it doesn't matter.

The whole world is looking at this

and seeing it.

And thinking probably when you look at the budget cuts and the information starts coming out, you're like, all right, well, there were some pretty major failures at a high level.

I mean, yeah,

I haven't really kept up with that aspect of it, but I'm guessing like anytime, but what are you going to do, man?

I mean, it's fucking force of nature.

It's mother nature.

There's nothing you can do.

I don't know what they could have done differently.

Well, I think they're talking like reservoirs being empty and not deploying this million-dollar plane that they had to

put out fires and shit.

And I've never seen someone look more shell-shocked than that mayor, though.

Whenever they talked to her, it was like she had just seen a ghost.

Yeah.

Well, this is going to be her legacy.

Like, the city burning under her.

Yep.

I would look shell-shocked, too.

I'd be like, oh, fuck.

And she had promised

before she took office,

when she was running, she was like, I will not go abroad.

I'm staying here in L.A.

Oh, yeah.

Watch over L.A.

I'm not going overseas.

I'm not going anywhere.

And she's in Ghana.

So a politician lied.

News at 11.

Shocking, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But we also have

a guest here, Walt.

Yes.

You invited a guest here.

What do we decide on?

Was it Dr.

D?

Dr.

D.

She is here to make her case to become the official general practitioner of medicine in TSD town.

Now, because we already have a doctor in Dr.

Eric,

but he's a head doctor.

I think he's also an MD,

but he doesn't really, he doesn't focus on that.

We could use a general practitioner because there's so many crazy people in town.

Yeah, he's got his hands are full.

Just alone and his brother.

He doesn't have to take any of them.

Just one of his brothers.

Hey, this is, is, I don't think you thought this through.

You're going to be getting like a lot of phone calls from like Jimmy the hair guy when he's got a boil.

You're going to get him alone.

He's going to have a standing weekly appointment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That responsibility, like you can't turn down get him when he needs medical advice.

Well, I approached Walt at Black Friday and I said, listen, you know, you're lacking in some of your members.

You have clergy, you have a lawyer, you have law enforcement, but you don't really have a general medical doctor.

Yeah, but Troy has gotten a phone call at one in the morning to bail people out of jail.

I'm not kidding.

Like he has.

And he responds.

I called Troy at 5 a.m.

when my daughter was missing.

And he got on the phone and he was up and about.

So, yeah,

it comes to more than this, just coming down and getting on mic and having a couple giggles.

You're going to have to really

have to put the work in.

I can put the work in.

I'm not.

You're going to have to set up a dedicated email just for a telepathy, Dave.

Maybe even a phone line.

It's going to be an honor.

We've got to keep everyone in line and in good health.

It's important

for the universe.

Nobody's young as they used to be.

Just getting in.

It's all downhill from here for most of us.

You're like a mechanic of a Titanic, right?

Like, that's what you're signing up for.

We're going to lose a few.

You're going to have to be okay with that, though.

Take it one step at a time.

Going in, you know for a fact, about 10% in about five years, and I ain't going to beat your home.

Oh, no.

There's a certain culling rate you're going to have to be accustomed to.

Okay.

I mean, I love the guy, but Tim the record store clerk is looking tired.

You know?

He's not looking.

He's looking exhausted.

He needs a consultation.

Does TSD have, will TSD have death panels?

I know who's up first.

If I got a vote on it, I know.

You better hope I'm not sitting on the board.

Yeah, we're not talking about Giddam.

I know.

I know we're not talking about Giddem, but I still nominate Giddem.

Wow.

So you're going to answer some questions for us.

For us.

Well, I'm curious, though.

I have a couple of personal questions.

It's always impressive to me.

All listeners are.

awesome and wonderful, but there is a little bit of a charge when you find out like someone who is a pillar of society also listens.

You know, how did you become a listener to TSD?

Because I imagine you're busy.

You're way busier than most people in TSD tech.

Are you a Jersey Jersey really?

I'm in the tri-state area.

She does not want to give anything.

She doesn't want anybody to know who she is.

So, yeah, so I think what I would say is

you said that, and like my heart lifted.

I was like, there's such a thing.

So, around the pandemic, I was watching a lot of comic book men.

Really?

And my husband was like, if you, you know, and we have listened to, we had listened to the show before, like on trips, road trips, podcasts, things like that.

So like, you know, if you like the show, you really should listen to this podcast.

So I started listening to it every day on the way home from work.

And, you know, the job is very, sometimes it can be depressing.

Sometimes it can be like difficult.

I'm more of like a silly person.

I like to laugh and I'm into comedy.

So like at the end of the day, you're just just like, oh, you know, like, so, and I like my job, but you know, you want to kind of like relax.

Decompress.

Yeah.

So at the end of the day, I get into my car and I can't get the whole podcast in it in one day because it's too long because then I don't have enough free time.

So every day I listen to like 20 minutes until I finish the episode.

So I usually get done by the end of the week, the whole podcast.

Because it's usually like an hour, an hour and a half.

So, and then that's like I look forward to it at the end of the day and like catching up from what I heard the day before.

And of course, like I watch a lot of the behind-the-scenes stuff

because I think it's hilarious.

Like we were watching Frank Vives Rewound.

Oh, so you're on the Patreon, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I just laugh.

And I cry laughing at the behind the scenes of Frank.

Well, what's here?

Well, find out what tear.

It doesn't matter.

Before you start blowing it out.

I'm not giving away all my secrets.

I'm going to assume the best.

Doctor.

Yeah, I just.

so I just like to laugh, and it's it's it's good for my

you know

being.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Nice.

So, do you have anything off the top of your head, Bri?

Any questions right off for the for Dr.

D?

Oh, yeah, how do I make it stop?

That would be my main question.

I don't know, I don't really have any health questions.

Um, I pretty much, I'm pretty fairly assessed of my health at this this point.

Not good.

No, I'm not good.

You've been up on a lot of things.

You've been up with a lot of things.

Like you go to your appointment, you say you go to your appointment.

You're staying hydrated.

Yeah, I still have a good thing.

I trust that comment that you're into.

Yeah, I'm more up on it than I have been, though.

I don't know what it is.

And I don't think you can help me with this.

Every night I'm like, I'm getting up tomorrow.

Tomorrow's the day I start the workout.

I'm going to start working out and get back in shape so I can, when we're down at Key West, I mean Q West, my mistake.

Oh, you're going to Q West?

Nice.

All right.

Oh, awesome.

I'm psyched.

Well, it's going to be hard for you to keep

under the radar surrounded by a bunch of ants.

They don't have to know.

How would they know?

What if there's an incident?

What if somebody falls off a golf bar?

And we're like, is there a doctor in the house?

Well, then at that point, I'd have to step in.

I couldn't just sit back and watch.

Now, with that knowledge that she will be at

Q West, I hear it's being called now.

Q West.

Will that change your drinking?

Because now you could do way more now that you have a doctor right at your bed.

My first thought was like,

and now get kicked up on a notch or two in terms of drinking.

As close to comatose as possible, right?

Yeah, I don't even want to remember it happened.

I want to be like, is it next week?

Yeah.

I struggle with that too sometimes.

Like, you're trying.

Drinking?

Well, no, no.

Oh, no.

No,

the gym aspect.

It's not that hard.

You just get don't leave that down.

The gym thing, yeah.

It's rough.

And I'm just like, the hardest part is getting there.

And once you're there, you're so proud of yourself and so glad you got there.

But there's no,

it's, you just have to force yourself.

That's it.

Just sheer will.

Yeah, you have to force yourself and keep saying, you just got to do it.

You got to do it.

You have to do it.

Should I talk down to myself?

Like, look in the mirror, like, look at you, fatiguely piece of yourself.

You can.

You can, but positivity always works a little better.

But isn't it for someone like

so far

Who obviously is

extremely like the discipline that you must have to become a doctor?

I find that that probably isn't in the water in TSD town, the discipline that it takes.

There's too much fluoride.

If anything, just it's possible.

Yeah.

The discipline that I found in TSD Town residents, it's like if it was a life, if it was a nutrient of life,

there'd be nobody there'd be nobody alive.

It'd be a desert, it'd be a ghost town discipline.

You ever see those towns in Brazil that are like made out of corrugated metal on the ghost cities?

Yeah, that's kind of what TFC town is.

Yes,

barrels on fire,

everybody warming around them.

You know, I do have another question.

Yeah, you know, I went to the urologist lately, and he said that my blood's too thick, so that's why I've been hydrating, and I haven't donated any blood yet.

It sounds like it's more difficult to donate blood than you think.

But so many listeners have weighed in

to me to tell Brian that he has to, if his blood is thick, he's got to donate blood.

Oh, really?

So that's true.

So it's from testosterone.

Is that

damn right?

What do you have?

Once weekly.

As your testosterone.

His blood looks like molasses.

He's so virile now.

No, more red and sugar.

So when your testosterone goes up, your body intrinsically makes more red blood cells, and that's how your blood gets thicker.

So a lot of times when men are on testosterone, before they kind of find their levels or when their body starts getting used to it, not only do you have to avoid dehydration, but giving blood they recommend every so often is

helpful because there's no way to really shut that down.

It's something that's just going to happen when you use the testosterone.

Just going to happen.

There's nothing I can do.

Yeah, so you know, you just make it, a lot of my patients will make an appointment at like the Red Cross every so often and just give a unit pint of blood and their numbers come down nicely.

Some men like track their their blood count at home and then when they get really high they'll go donate blood.

But that's a lot

they sell a little machine I think you can check

something on Amazon, I would assume.

I don't know the name of it.

I think that's a good idea.

There's no way he can just like, does he have to go to a clinic to donate blood?

Could he just do it at home?

Like leeches, some bloodletting?

No, you would have to do it medically, Sam.

Like I he's drained stuff.

I thought maybe that maybe Gatim could drain Ryan of some kind of a drink.

I've already, back in the day, I've advised him not to do that.

He, you know, blissful, ignorant, ignored me.

But yeah, so I think you should.

And plus, giving blood is good for the community.

I have rare blood.

You do?

Yeah.

Do you have A negative?

I have B negative.

Oh, okay.

No.

Disappointed.

Wow.

So now.

At least it's not gutter blood, for Christ's sakes.

Give me that.

Any blood is a donation.

So yeah, it's true.

Very true.

So now if he gave someone

his testosterone blood, could he like force a kid to go into puberty earlier?

Because of, oh, yeah, like a five-year-old might grow a beard if he gets the blood transition.

He wakes up one day.

He has your full beard.

No.

No.

It's fine.

Now, will they, when they take his thick blood out, will they do something to the blood to make it not so thick if they are going to use it on another patient?

Or they'll just give you thick blood?

No, it's just that it's not that your blood is thicker, it's just you have more of it.

So, like, suppose a normal blood count is 15.

Like your, yours could be 17 or 18 and that's just too much.

Your body made too much.

This is nuts.

When I was drugged out and in poor health, I was anemic and I used to have to go get iron.

It's because you probably weren't eating well, right?

I don't know.

Like I don't eat well.

That's not supposed to mean.

His figure said he was.

So you need like, you need four iron molecules and like

back in the day when you were on when you were you know when you were in bad shape.

When I was in a bad way, yeah.

You needed some vitamins.

Not now.

You probably needed some vitamins.

Probably needed some vitamins.

Yeah.

I mean, I was getting blood transfusions.

I was so low.

Yeah.

Well, do you think you were bleeding inside from all the inflammation from the meds?

Could be, yeah.

Thank God that's over.

Yeah, that's all over.

Oh, here's, get him just pulled up.

130 bucks, and I can check my blood levels.

Yeah, see, it's easy.

See, my doctor took me down 25,

whatever, milliliters or whatever.

You play around with it, you see where the patient lands and what makes them happy, what the numbers look like, you know, yada, yada.

See, I want to be safe so I can get all bulked up, right?

And like, that would help with the weight loss.

Gym time.

Gym time plus testosterone.

Yeah.

Got to hang out with Jim.

What about steroids?

Yeah, do you recommend them?

No.

Are there any?

Not even to get a hard body?

Yeah.

It's like he needs it quick.

He needs to go to QS.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

I'm going to be in a mosquito.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Not a big proponent.

What are some foods that you can eat that are high in testosterone?

Beef?

No, well,

they say the healthier you eat, the better your hormone levels are.

So

mostly exercise and probably eating

high-protein diets.

So yeah.

What's like high protein?

What's an example?

Like I said, lean proteins,

antioxidants, things like that.

I don't know if it's going to make a huge dent.

Thanks.

Beans?

Sure, yeah, I think so.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

The more you eat, the more you, you know what.

So you don't want to be doing that.

I've been on a lifetime of a bean-free diet.

And he's doing great.

Oh, real quickly, did you hear David Lynch died?

That is a shame.

Yeah, David Lynch died today.

And so did Bob Euchre?

Bob Euchre, yep.

Oh, man.

It comes in three.

He was going to be the third guy.

Who gets more press?

Euchre or

Mr.

Lynch.

I don't know.

When I looked at it, they were both pretty far down the.

It's not like they were on page one.

That was like that was some press conference.

Was it Mr.

Sorry?

Or was that Joe Garagiola?

I think it was Mr.

Baseball.

Yeah.

Johnny Carson called him that, right?

Mr.

Baseball.

I think it might be Joe Garagiola.

There's probably more than one one Mr.

Baseball, I imagine.

Look that up, you know.

Well, it's going to come up today, it's him.

Like on the day he died, they're going to give it to him.

Any health questions for Dr.

D?

What is what is like the what is what's the what's the one thing that you would say the residents of the town can do without really not going to the gym?

What's the easiest thing they could do for their health?

What's the shortcut?

Minus going on.

He means wheat.

Like, what is it?

So, some things I, so you're talking about, okay, so health I think is one thing I think is like the worst thing in the world is sugar.

I know it's no fun, but it's literally poison.

So, if you stop drinking all sugar in your drinks, and you'll easily lose like five pounds straight off the top, especially men more so than women.

So, I always tell my patients, like, try to just get like you, you need some sugar and carbs to live, but you don't need a lot of it.

And that is simply what will

that I think that's like the most poisonous thing you can do.

Like, I won't, I know that I'm not perfect, but I won't drink any juice or any soda.

I'll drink, you know, like

anything that has sugar in it is an opening.

Naturally occurring, like, fruit has a lot of sugar in it, right?

Yeah, but you're only supposed to have like two servings of fruit a day.

I think some people go a little bit overboard.

I think some people go a little bit overboard with the fruit.

Like, oh, if I eat a lot of fruit.

Can I have soda?

In moderation.

Okay.

Yeah.

Doc.

Maybe like a mini can.

Says I can have soda.

Yeah, there you go.

So I think that's the one thing that I stress is it's just so inflammatory and bad for you.

Like they're saying now, like that could be a marker for like,

what am I trying to say?

So if people who have consistently high sugar are higher risk for dementia because it's like so inflammatory.

So I think like if you really want to save your brain, make sure your heart health is okay.

I think that that would be the one thing I would steer away from.

Candies.

and uh,

so it is what you're saying, all right.

What about those full body scans that all the rich people get?

Because, I, because, like, where they're like, they look at every cell.

What are those things?

Yeah, so because you're almost mythical.

Have you guys heard about it?

No, they have one in New York.

Yeah, it's like down by the World Trade Center.

My friend just got one for free, and he's like, it's gonna be fucking amazing.

He hasn't done it yet, but what do they do?

What are they?

So, I think that I don't know if I, you can, I can probably say the company.

There's a company called Pinovo, I think it's called, and there's no, there's not one.

The closest one to hear is New York.

And they basically, you pay a fee.

It's usually like $2, $2,500 to $2,000.

And they scan your whole body.

Oh, they would say it was like six grand.

No, this one's pretty, pretty, it's much cheaper than one that I've heard of.

Okay.

And you get a full page report of your entire body and pictures of your entire body.

And a couple of my patients have done it.

And we've found like prostate cancer.

We found like that they have really bad coronary artery disease that we didn't know about,

lung nodules.

So I think if you have the means to do it and you want to be very aggressive about your health, it's definitely worth it.

I think $2,500 to know if you're good or not is not that much money if you can afford it.

Do they look at, but when they show pictures of your body, like, is it going to see your wings?

Yeah, they see everything.

So you got to, you got to jump up before you go in.

Yeah.

You can't wear like lead underwear.

Yeah, you need to be prepared.

Yeah.

Right.

Is that it?

Oh, yeah, they do have one at the Princeton Longevity Center.

I think they do.

They have a full program for wellness where you can go and pick the tests that you prefer, what you want.

That's what it's called PLC.

But that's so that's a program that they specifically have where you can pick and choose what images you want and what tests you want.

If you do the Pinovo, you just show up, get in the MRI machine, pay your fee, I guess, and then get the report.

What is the technology?

So, because this is just what I hear it is like it's first started with like celebrities and then the price came down, where like now, like, you know, people I know are getting it and stuff.

But what is the technology?

Because, how is it not just an x-ray?

Like, it's how is that not dangerous?

Like, those pictures of every single thing inside of you.

So, it's really not dangerous because it's using magnets.

So, an MRI machine uses magnets.

And a fucked airline.

It's really loud.

The hair guy's not here.

He was like.

Sorry, that was an insane clown policy reference that Geddam was dropping on you.

I didn't want him to die alone.

I had to support him.

Let him know he was hurt.

Nope, we're going to drop.

You know, I want to say then, you know, shout out to Dave Wendorf, the original magnet.

So magnets.

All right.

So they just...

So it's essentially MRI.

Yeah, it just uses magnets and it makes thin slices and someone looks at every single slice and looks for problems.

So say like Pam just had a heart attack.

I know.

I'm so excited.

Now say a week before.

Oh yeah, I didn't tell you.

Oh yeah, we talked about it last week on the show.

Yeah, she had like a

partial occlusion, is that what they call it?

Yeah.

In one of her veins or arteries.

In her artery or something.

An artery, is it?

Yeah.

So she's like, I was telling Walt, like, Edgar had a

hernia.

And it turned out he didn't get the operation.

They just pushed it back in for temporarily.

How did they keep it in?

What's that?

How do they keep the intestine in?

I don't know.

They must put like tape over it.

They just put a cork in there and tape it up.

You know, like a wine bottle.

No, I'm just kidding.

You can reduce a hernia with your hands.

That's what he said.

The doctor did, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, until it heals on its own?

Or all the rip always beat her?

It depends.

If it's a um, sometimes you can press on it very hard and push it back into the body.

If it's stuck outside, then

that's game over.

You need to have it surgerized.

Just like finagle it

moving around.

You can if you're good with your hands, but I think that some of them are not fixable that way.

Yeah, so he just actually got it pushed back in, and the operation is like next week or the week after or something.

So they go, they got that done.

And then Pam that evening is like, yeah, my heart, my chest, I'm having chest pains.

So they go back to the hospital.

Turns out she's having a heart attack.

So they went in there and fixed her up.

And next day,

she stayed one day, and then the next day after that, she's fine.

She thinks she's immortal.

Like, it doesn't bother her.

The witch stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's like, she's convinced she's going to live to over 100.

And when you see her walking around, she's all bent over, like an old, like old lady's walk and stuff.

And now she's having heart attacks and shit.

Why the hell would you want to live to 100?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, because she's only, I don't know where you're going with this.

You want her to call her and tell her she's not going to live to 100?

Like, you know what?

Why are you?

I'm tired of her being so optimistic.

Yeah, so I guess you were asking, like, if that could have been prevented.

Yeah, like, would they have seen, if she went in a week before, would they have seen that?

So

you probably need a different kind of

CAT scan with dye to look much closer.

Well, you got to drink that shit, right?

That, oh, it's the worst.

Yeah, that's so you can see your colon.

And then the dye through your arm is the one so you can see your arteries.

Yeah.

So.

What is that stuff called that you drink?

Contrast.

Chalky contrast.

Yeah.

It's disgusting.

All right.

So back.

I'm sorry, back to the pernova.

I'm sorry about your mother, dude.

I wish you had told me that.

Yeah, well, yeah, you had just gone away and she was fine.

So yeah, I was going to call you in.

So that's it.

So they send you in there.

And then

what can they spot on that?

Everything.

Brain tumors, cancers, lung nodules.

Is it cancer-focused?

No, it's everything.

So you can see if you have arthritis in your knees.

You can see if your spine is out of alignment.

you can see your para i mean you could see it's almost guaranteed though that there's going to be something wrong though not so at this stage

i mean arthritis my told is going to hurt i don't need yeah i don't need a six thousand dollar scan to tell me i got arthritis in my knee yeah you're going to find some age-related things but the main thing is just to make sure that you don't uh have anything that's you know acute red flag you know but yeah you're going to see arthritis you're going to see you know little things like that.

And what do you think of these guys like these

tech billionaires that are trying to reverse the aging process or at least halt it?

What is his name, Brian Johnson?

He's probably the best known one.

Yeah.

I think it's a bit much.

Hold on.

Somebody's hammering it.

It's weird.

We hardly ever have any signs of life in the building.

What was it this time?

Is it a ghost?

Is it the ceiling or is that the extraordinary?

What do you think?

What was the question?

Brian Johnson.

Oh, Brian Johnson.

Yeah, what do you think?

Oh, yeah, guys.

I mean, here's the thing.

You can do as much as you want, but

you can't live forever.

So I think some of the stuff that he's doing is ridiculous.

Well, there was that guy, wasn't his name, Jim Sheehan.

He was like a huge proponent of jogging back in the 70s, and he eventually had a heart attack.

I think that was his name, Jim Sheehan.

But that was like that whole jogging craze was like, hey, you want to live forever?

You should jog.

You want to live better?

You should jog.

Jogging was like the thing.

The thing, yeah.

And I guess it just goes to show that no matter what, you could be in for it.

Yeah, it's hard.

It's hard.

Like, well, Trey, like, I don't want to see any scan in my body right now.

I don't know what's going on.

Too much, probably.

It looked like the guy from Operation.

Is that a water on the net?

Is that a bread basket in his fucking stomach?

What's the medical term for blissfully ignorant?

Happy.

I don't know if there is a

poor insight and judgment.

Okay, that's what I got.

That's what we thought.

Healthy case of it.

What about cryogenics, though?

Like, how do you feel about that

if you don't think this guy's going to live forever?

I think once you're gone, there's no coming back.

You don't think that cryogenics could work?

I don't think so.

But why?

The theory is kind of sound, isn't it?

Because once you thaw yourself out, isn't your brain dead?

Yeah, I know.

Well, I think the idea is like future technology will figure out.

It's the damage, right?

Like the crystal.

Yeah, I think it's like the microbiology of it is like, you know, the cell synapses stop working.

The muscles become

rigid and stiff.

You know, like there's nothing that you can...

I don't know how you come back from that.

Nanobots.

Probably nanobots.

I wish I was smart enough to know how you come back from that, but I don't know.

I don't think anybody does.

Nobody's smart enough to know.

I don't think it's going to.

I don't know.

Yeah, but

it can't be impossible, right?

Like, I'm not doing it.

I'm not arguing for it.

I'm just like,

theoretically, how is it

how is it falling on their impossible for you?

Yeah, I just feel like that even when you're,

I don't know how to explain it.

It's like when someone, when someone dies, you can tell that like their soul is, it leaves them.

And I don't know how you get that back.

You waste two ounces?

Or 0.21 something?21.

It's weird to look at, but it's like the you can, it's it's when you see someone pass, it's weird that you could tell, but I don't know how anybody could make that come back.

You try, you freeze it.

I know, but it just freeze it so it can't get out of it.

I don't want to crush your dreams.

I don't want to get frozen.

No, no, no, I'm not doing that.

I just don't see, I can't, micro, like on the microscopic level, I can't see how it could happen.

But let's say, like, you're, uh,

you know, you're out you're towards the end, right?

And you're like, freeze me.

Just freeze me to death right now.

Yeah.

That way the soul can't escape.

It's frozen in place.

Frozen in place.

Yeah.

So, I mean,

that's a possibility because when people have massive strokes, we do freeze them.

Yeah.

You know, to save, you know, to make you more viable.

So your body doesn't have to spend a lot of energy keeping you alive.

Oh, so you can keep them really cold?

Yeah.

So you try to preserve, or after, not I said stroke, after a major cardiac arrest.

Sorry.

After a major cardiac arrest, you cool them down to a level where their body doesn't have to maintain all of the,

you know, things that it needs to do to keep you,

like keep your body temperature up.

You know, it's like

all the regular operations.

Yeah, you kind of like freeze it down so everything is a lot easier on the heart to recover.

And that's an active thing in medicine right now.

We do it all the time in intensive care units.

Freeze people.

Yeah.

Well, that's depressing.

What about, you know what?

Sorry, I don't want to be.

I'll tell you what's really,

I read something the other day that fucking freaked me out where they were saying, like, all these people who are in hospitals, immobile, and like they think they're brain dead.

They're kind of just staring at the ceiling like vegetables.

They're now thinking that a good portion of those people are conscious and just can't move their bodies, can't move anything.

Because what they did is they put these sensors on the heads of a bunch of them.

And

they're telling these vegetable-type people, think of a blue horse, and the same same parts of the brain that light up in our brains to imagine a blue horse are lighting up in these people's brains.

Not all of them, but some of them, which is leading this report I read to be like, yeah, that means that there's probably has always been and probably now a lot of people who have just been locked in their own bodies.

Well, nobody thinks that they're even around, but they are, which is, to me, sounds so fucking terrifying.

It sounds like a horror movie.

I mean, think of the boredom of of just sitting there and like, like, just staring at the ceiling while your fucking family comes to visit you.

Nobody wants to be there because you're a vegetable.

Right.

Yeah.

But

that's fucking frightening.

How do you prevent that from happening to me, doc?

That's what I'm worried about now.

You constantly think of a blue horse.

Yeah.

Let him know.

24-7.

You just have to make sure that you don't have any.

So the things that mostly cause that are like strokes.

Fucked.

I already had one.

I'm already in one.

Then we got to work on prevention.

Can never happen again.

Never, ever, ever.

Well, I had mine because of encephalitis, viral encephalitis.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it affected, we found that later on, it affected my spinal cord and the tissue around my brain.

And it just

popped up.

Inflammation.

Yeah,

and then it had an infarction or whatever, and then there was bleeding on the brain.

It's like pretty crazy.

So that was caused by a virus, though.

So

probably not prone to more strokes, right?

I would say if it was from a viral etiology, then no.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Let's hit it.

Looking good.

Yeah, let's hit.

Where are we going?

I have one.

Yeah.

So I've had a few people I know get the shingles.

Mm-hmm.

And I've heard about the shingles virus.

And I'm very, I mean, the vaccine.

Yeah.

And I'm really...

Like, I want to get it because of the stories I'm hearing, the horror stories.

But with, you know, with vaccines in the news lately,

you know, you start to hear crazy shit.

Yeah, I know.

And I'm like, I don't, I'm really terrified of the side effects, though, because I looked at there are some side effects possibly for the vaccine.

What do you think I should do?

Should I get it?

So I would say

I, and this is honest, I've never met a person who had

a long-term side effect from a vaccine.

And I've been a doctor for 15 years.

There are people that can get Guillambre from any vaccine, which is a type of paralysis that you can get.

I was just talking about waltzing.

Usually you do recover,

but obviously it's a horrible side effect.

But it is rare.

So, I mean, during the course of a year, we probably give out hundreds of vaccines.

And other than like a sore arm or a fever, most of the time everyone does pretty well.

But there are

the rare occurrence, and it could be with anything.

It's like if you take an antibiotic and you're allergic to it and

you die,

that's not going to happen to every single person that takes that antibiotic.

It's just an unfortunate side effect, but it is a risk.

But I would say it's a low risk.

I don't want the shingles.

So then get the shot.

I know.

I'm terrified, though.

Don't for the shingles.

I give the shingles shot out.

The side effects aren't fun, right?

If I told you to bring the shingles vaccine, could you have just shot me up right in here?

100%.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, bring a cortisone shot, too.

Okay, what do you want?

Can I get some DMSO in cortisone?

So you look at all this anti-vac stuff and you're shit, you shit.

You're like, come on, man.

Here's, you know, it's really hard to be in the medical profession these days because everybody gets a bad rap.

What do you mean?

Like, I feel like a lot of people don't trust doctors anymore because of things they see on Instagram or in the social media.

And, you know, when you think about it, we went to school for a really long time to take care of people.

We're not going to, we don't intentionally want to harm anyone.

You take an oath not to do that.

You know, so.

But what about the checks?

Big pharma.

We don't get paid by drug companies.

I don't even see them.

I don't believe that.

They don't do anything to, they don't take people out to dinner anymore.

If you go to an educational program, that's an educational program.

But they don't do the things they used to do, like take doctors on cruises.

Mary Beth's dad is a doctor, and he said the 90s were the salad days.

Really?

Yeah, they were

like, she went on vacations that were funded by drug companies.

Yeah, they used to go out to dinners and stuff.

Yeah, all kinds of stuff.

Jesus.

Yeah.

So the way I worked.

You don't get that when your dad's a construction worker.

Oh, or subway driver.

Yes, yeah.

I never got any of that.

Or MIA.

Tell him Steve.

But I think it should be a personal choice.

No one should force you to do anything you don't want to do.

But I don't think any,

at least from, I can only speak for myself.

I would never do anything to intentionally harm anyone.

I just tell them what is the recommendations and we talk about the risks.

And if someone says to me, I'm never getting a vaccine, I say, okay.

Well, then if you get sick and you need my help, call me right away and we'll figure it out.

But if you, but, you know, vaccines are still recommended.

You know, we got rid of a lot of bad diseases that way.

So

are you saying you disagree with the vaccine schedules?

It's not that I disagree with them.

That we're putting too much chemicals in our children.

Did you like it when Giddam wasn't on Mike?

How do you feel about the children?

Oh, he's coming.

We're going to get her diagnosis of this.

She's going to be able to write a paper

published in the medical journals about this fuck up.

But, like, do you think social media and all the nonsense and all the disinformation, you really think that has been?

Because I'm always like, how can people believe some of this garbage that's being out there?

Because if there were like,

like, take this or take that, you know, they don't want anybody to know ivermectin cures cancer.

Like, if that was true, then nobody's, no doctor's family would ever die of anything.

If that, if that was the magic bullet.

I know.

You idiots.

Why do you think that's true?

And it's led to a lot of distrust in the medical community, which is hard because we spend a lot of our lives dedicated to education and working and working a lot of hours.

And

it's sad.

You've come face to face with it personally, that distrust?

100%.

How does that show in your day?

People who will tell me that they're not going to take a certain drug because they heard on Instagram that it can cause XYZ.

And, you know, you have, you're supposed to be a team with your patient.

So you're like, listen.

I don't believe that.

You can believe what you want to believe.

Is there any other way we can work around it?

Maybe another med you might want to try?

Or can we work on this?

It happens like a lot.

A lot more.

Even if you're not sure what

these years.

Yeah, a lot more than I would say in

before the pandemic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, there's always going to be people who want to argue and discuss and

it's been, it's a little worse than it used to be.

Yeah.

And then there's some people who are really cool and they respect your decisions and we work as a team and that's the best part of my job but then there's other people who have a lot of distrust and that's the hard that's hard you know

but it all when you like like you said though tell me and we'll work as a team that's great bedside manner

because a lot of it is it all of it comes from fear All of it just comes like people hear this, they see this or somebody told them this.

So they get scared.

And it really, that's all it really is, is they don't know what to do and they don't know who to trust.

But I guess, you know, like I remember when I got sick with COVID and I had to go, I was so dehydrated, I had to go to the hospital and get some fluid.

And I remember the bedside manner of the nurse in there or the doctor in there was crazy.

She was like, did you get the COVID back?

So I had, I got it after I got sick.

That scared me.

I was like, I got to get it now.

Yeah.

And I told her, I was like, I wasn't like belligerent.

I was like, or I was like, I just, no, I didn't get it.

And she goes, why?

I go, I don't know.

It's kind of new on the market.

I was like, I want to see how, you know, how people fared with it.

I was, I wanted to just kind of wait to see how the, you know, how things went before I was first online to get it, yada, yada.

And then she was just like, I guess you regret that now, right?

And she was very, just like,

perfectly valid what you're saying.

Yeah, but like, she was very mean, though.

And you could tell that my wife was livid because we were in the emergency room and she was just like.

You're not feeling at your best.

No,

I wasn't confrontational.

I was just like, you know, yeah, I go, I regret it, again, but now, too, but now I don't need you to be like, I told you,

there's a time and a place,

and she has way too much free time on her hands if she's here interrogating you about that kind of stuff.

She should be like, all right, let's go, let's get you stabilized.

So crazy,

it was so crazy when I, when I had my, my plumbing got messed up downstairs four years later, from that,

emergency room again, same doctor,

same doctor, and she would not help help me.

She would not give me what I needed, which was

I needed to get drained

because I was so backed up.

And she was like, she knew what I needed to feel better because I was in such discomfort because it was days without going to the bathroom.

And she knew what needed to be done.

She wouldn't do it, though.

She said, you'll have to go make a urology appointment.

And this was on a Friday night.

So I had to go two more days.

That's insane.

Isn't that insane?

The doctor told me that was nuts.

Yeah, it's not that.

That they wouldn't just give me like drain me.

That's not appropriate at all.

Drain me, baby.

Drain me.

Oh, like, and she was she's very young and Russian, I think.

But she was, she was cool.

She was the she-wolf.

All they would have to do is...

Oh,

you know what?

Even though you're going to be,

I think you're going to pass the mushroom to become the TSD town general practitioner.

I promise Eric, he's the only one that didn't give me any kind of finger inspections.

And my wife also said I'm not allowed to have a female do any of that stuff.

She wants a man over 50 doing that stuff.

And I have to respect that.

Lumpy knuckles.

Power of lumpy knuckles.

Unless I'm on my dad's bed.

Then she might

loosen up to you.

She might be like, all right.

But she wants to make sure that I'm like, I got a weak pulse before she lets a female doctor down there.

Otherwise, it's cheating.

30 years of marriage, and this is how you treat me.

But yeah, so that's not fair.

I would have just said to the nurse,

I would have just said to the nurse, put a catheter in and,

you know,

treat me

and let me know how it goes.

And then he can just be discharged home.

How awful she was.

But you're saying, no, that I should get

shingles one.

I would.

Okay, I'm gonna do it.

I mean, you didn't have, you've never had a reaction to anything else, right?

Well, when I got the COVID vax,

the two-parter, Jeff went with the one-parter, which nobody did.

I thought that was a man's man.

Back in the day.

That's a man's man.

But he never got it.

He never got it.

He got the one injection one.

Wait, did you have chicken pox?

Yeah.

Okay, so then you get you're allowed to get the shingles vaccine.

Well, I think you have to.

I think that's recommended.

If you had chicken Yeah, if you didn't have chicken pox, then you need a different kind of vaccine.

Yeah.

Wait, what do you mean?

If you had chickenpox already, you can get shingles.

You can get shingles.

But if you didn't have it, then you can't get them.

You probably would have to get vaccinated against Varicella, which is

aka chickenpox.

And you get shingles by what?

Somebody coming up?

Stress.

Oh, stress?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Woo!

Stress.

This guy's locked in an office.

We'll get him all fucking day.

But wait a minute.

I really just thought

it was living inside you just waiting to come out.

Yeah, when you're stressed.

That's homosexual.

There's no vaccine for that, buddy.

They tried that.

But it's

stressed.

It's one of the reasons.

So it lives dormant in

your nerves.

Yeah.

And then you get sick with something.

You get,

God forbid, cancer or chemotherapy

or just random.

But most of the time, it's like stress-induced with something else.

Like someone will be say, Oh, you know, I was really sick with XYZ, and then, oh, wait, and now I have this on my back, and they lift up your shirt, and you have the rash.

It's super painful.

I heard, and it's a lifetime thing, it never really goes away once you get to it.

No, it can go away if you get it treated right away.

You can go away, all right?

You have to talk to your doctor.

I appreciate the advice.

I needed to hear it.

Is this one and done?

He doesn't have to ever get it again after that.

So, it's two shots, but then he's done.

Yeah, and it's they say

GlaxoSmithKline that makes the drug says it's like 90 plus percent effective.

Yeah, all right.

Okay.

It's not 100%, but nothing in life really is.

I got to get it, too.

Yeah.

You never had Chickenpox Cue?

I think I had it when I was young.

Yeah, a kid.

You want just all three of us go down with it?

I'm down with you.

I'm ProVax, man.

Where are you putting?

You have to be.

Where does it go?

Like in your arm?

Oh, well, give it another year.

Is it going in your arm?

Is it going in?

Do you have shingles waiting for you?

In your arm.

So I can't get shingles in the next year of my life before I turn 49 in March.

You can, but they recommend

someone on the inside.

Yeah, you could get it early if you wanted.

You're going to come here next time with just vials and needles?

Yeah.

I've got some needles in the back.

No doubt.

Some of them are clean.

We don't know which ones.

We don't know which ones.

I can tell by taste.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

How long do you, as as a doctor, give Gidem?

Yes.

Let's talk about it.

Like, how long do you get them?

Before we get into Gidem,

I need to ask you a question.

Yeah.

Your thoughts on boners.

Yeah.

What about them?

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You don't want any fake Bluetooth coming from India or China or any of these things.

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USA?

USA.

Oh, USA.

Shit, yeah.

That's a good, old-fashioned red, white, and blue boner.

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You'll be mistaken for a soldier with that full salute.

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Are they saying Elon Musk?

Elon Musk, yeah, because he's sending rockets out into space.

Yeah, but I'm surprised that they can use his name in the ad because that makes it sound like how you know it's that Elon.

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Are they?

Oh, yeah.

Like, which ones are the most expensive?

I would say, like, you know, like the rabbit is one of those high-priced ones.

Yeah, they were.

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Male toys?

Look, Gedim's got that up.

What's that?

You know, some male toys?

Yeah.

You're going to stimulate my scrotum, get him.

Is that what that is?

Oh, my God.

You could buy it a torso?

You got a female corpse.

Oh, yeah.

That's.

That is.

You walk into somebody's house and you see that.

You're like, torso?

Yeah, just a torso.

I don't know.

I'm going to introduce you to my torso.

Yeah, that's got to stay in the closet.

Wow.

Go back to that torso.

Get him.

Yeah.

I'm going to have a second look at that.

Can that be one of Q's four toys that he gets for $20?

He's a realistic torso.

Yeah.

How do you do it?

I don't know.

So you're studying to be a doctor.

I mean, that is a pretty realistic looking body, that's for sure.

That is that, I don't know how you're able to pull that off.

But God, hey, man, you know what?

I've done weird stuff.

If you're ordering a torso.

If you're ordering a torso,

you don't have to worry about guests.

Yeah, you're right.

You don't have to worry about your guests

or stumbling upon it.

You're kind of living a solitary existence.

Yeah, do you feel the same, Walt?

Like, let's say 10 years from now, they finally have just realistic sex robots.

Yeah, I just saw one.

Not that it's a sex robot, but the most realistic robot.

They just unveiled it, and it was amazing.

But I'm talking like the real real.

Like, it seems like it's real.

And you just wait till the positive.

I think there's a lot of guys that

will never interact with society ever again.

They will just lock themselves in and order DoorDash and

dehydrate themselves by just

doing things

until they can't do them anymore.

I'm getting interested.

Don't have enough energy to play Halo, nothing.

It's all the energy is going into that robot.

That's right.

Go back to the closet.

Give me a half hour.

Come out of the closet.

I don't know.

It's not as good as my torso was.

Is it weirdo?

Doc, is it weirder to have a torso or a full.

But this is your husband?

Yes.

Okay.

So 20 years from now, is he allowed to get a sex robot?

Am I going to be dead in 2020?

No, you're around.

Well, I would still like to participate.

You don't know that.

You don't know that.

You're working overnights at the hospital.

What if it injures him in some way?

Well, come on.

You can say that about anything.

Let's assume everything goes real, like it goes rogue and turns on.

Yeah, like what if it's a broken sound?

That's why I had a backup torso.

Case your robot goes rogue.

Like, what if it does something horrible?

An adamant torso that can't burst.

I would say if he came to me and said he really wanted one, I would say, sure.

It's 25 grand.

No, it's more than that.

It's 50.

It's 50.

Yeah.

There it is.

Oh, the fantasy doll.

It doesn't.

It's Tracy.

It's not made for that yet.

It's made more for interaction.

Like, it can have a conversation with you.

We know where it's headed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It can even laugh at jokes, they said.

Oh, really?

I could use that.

I could.

So, wait.

So you don't mind?

You think it's okay if your husband's like,

spice it up a little bit while you're yeah, I mean, if that's what that's what you want, that's what you want.

What can you do about it?

So, you're okay with the torso then, as well?

Well, the torso is a little scary.

It looks like a Halloween toy.

What if you told me just like that?

Game in fucking territory.

It really is.

What if he insists on dressing it up in scrubs?

I want to get to get his diagnosis.

Take a look at adamandeve.com/slash T-E-S-D to see what four sex toys will be yours for just $20.

Go to adamandeve.com/slash T-E-S-D.

It's the only way to get get this offer.

All right.

Now we can talk about Giddam.

And right off the bat, Gidum had, he wanted to get a diagnosis of one of his lumps.

Now, where is this lump located for the people who cannot see?

It's on my other elbow.

Is that cake batter on your arm?

No,

it's like dried skin.

Okay.

Yeah.

I can scratch it off.

Oh.

Yeah.

You could do it right now if you want.

I would email you.

It might bleed a little.

Does it bleed?

This guy was made for torso.

Sex torso.

I have something similar on my knee that does if I scratch it too much.

Okay, so that looks like stuccokeratosis, which is like just an inflammatory skin thing that you can choose if you want to to get it like cryoed off with like liquid nitrogen.

But you could just scratch it off.

Yeah, you or you could.

Dirty fingernails?

I wouldn't do that.

I would say moisturize or if it really bothers you.

Yeah, if it really bothers you, you could get it removed.

Okay.

That's what I suspect.

Now,

I don't know if to bothers everybody else.

If it bothers everyone else, then just go get it removed.

It's to remind myself to you to

have it.

I don't think it's infectious if that's what you're worried about.

What about the other bumps and growths?

All right.

So.

Yeah, the other bump on the Popeye elbow.

So do you lean on your elbow a lot?

When it started, yes.

Because

that's when I was living in the basement a lot more.

Yeah.

And that's how I'd watch.

I would be on my laptop.

So all of your body pressure is on the elbow.

It was, yeah.

That's when it started like creeping.

How many years ago is this lump in there?

It started right after the fire.

Okay, so it's almost six years.

Yeah.

Okay.

Have you ever consulted with anyone about it?

I uh when it drained is right now.

Before this.

When it drained, it drained at one point.

Yeah.

And I went to a

emergency doc and they just gave me antibiotics.

Okay.

So it's basically inflammation of the elbow bursa, which is like the protective covering of the elbow.

And it can be from gout, it can be from trauma.

It can get infected, so you have to just be really careful.

Yeah, that's why it got very hot.

And

then

hot pocket.

Yeah, this is the time I actually went to see a doctor.

I'm getting boxed for it.

So you can get rid of it.

If you get it drained by a medical professional and then have it wrapped really tightly so the fluid doesn't come back.

Okay.

There's a really high success rate.

So

shower that thing you wrap it around all the time, that sleeve.

Yeah, it's in the other room.

It's a compression assist.

I got copper sleeve.

He thinks copper is going to take it away.

No, I don't believe with him there far with copper.

It's just a regular compression sleeve.

You told me Jerry Rice told you that

if you used his copper sleeve, it would go away.

Look, I only trust him to Goth in it.

The copper sleeve probably won't help until you get the fluid removed.

Okay.

So you're probably wasting your time.

Because I was hoping it was like when I had the ganglion assist.

Yeah, why is he prone to ganglion cyst?

Is it what he thinks it is?

I don't know if you know, but we won't.

You know, you know.

Okay.

You could whisper to her why he, why he, he, he

diagnosed himself and why he's prone to ganglion cysts.

Why I got it that one time.

Well,

is it possible to fill yourself into a ganglion cyst?

I don't think so.

Is that why you think you got it?

Yeah.

Oh, no.

I don't think so.

Because I was doing a a lot of like

himself.

It was on his girlfriend.

Right.

Right, right.

No, I don't think so.

So, so, okay.

No.

So it's just correlation, not causation.

I think it's completely not related at all.

Okay.

Okay.

But that's how I got rid of it.

Every day I would press on it.

Oh, I thought you were going to say that's how I got rid of it, too.

I diddled my way into this.

I did my way out of this.

Yeah, would you be be willing to get that scan?

Oh, yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

I mean, he doesn't have enough money to pay for all the things that are probably going to, that scan's going to be a lot of fun.

Why don't we just start with like blood work and your blood pressure?

See what's going on inside your vein your arteries and your veins.

What do you think?

Okay.

Do you have, you think you have gout?

Oh, I know I do.

I was diagnosed.

Do you take any medicine for it?

Yeah.

Why not?

The medicine they gave me gave me the runs.

Oh.

And when he can barely walk and I'm like, 15% everywhere like

if you're going to ask the questions, they should have their own ganglion cysts right now.

They're going to town.

If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions.

That's the stuff.

There's more than one kind of medicine, and some of the medications don't have that bad of a side effect.

Okay.

So

I would say if you don't want a lot of lumps and bumps moving forward,

you should maybe just try one of the other meds.

Okay, I will say I've not had a gout flare-up in a while, but like I I said, I keep up on my hydration, flushing my system out with

water.

Well, water and natty.

Well, I drink two bottles of seltzer a day, plus how many natties a night, though?

Three.

How many natties?

Tall boys, though.

Tall boys.

So, how much is that?

75 ounces.

Which is a gallon?

No, it's 128.

It's like close to a half gallon.

It's over a half gallon, actually.

It's over a liter.

Yeah.

But I drink a half gallon over two seltzer a day.

Yeah, it's over two liters.

You're right.

Yeah.

How do you feel about that?

That's like one of the main things that causes gout.

So it's like it used to be a disease of the rich because they could, and I don't want to bring up a sore subject with the whole pork situation in the office.

Whole pork?

Yeah, but we're over.

Yeah, I should have been more specific.

We're over that.

Okay, we're over that.

Okay.

It's so easy to give Walt the trigger one.

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

No, that's so.

If you put both of those together, that's just like, welcome, gout.

Here, you know, it's like come on.

Nitroglycerin, right?

It's like whole pork and you know,

the combination of the two is like, well, I avoid organ meats in general.

I also avoid shellfish in general.

Those are foods that are high in uric acid.

And what alcohol does is alcohol takes, it forces uric acid out of solution in your blood, which causes the deposit.

Are you right in this ground doc?

No, I mean, he's right.

If I'm wrong, please tell me.

No, he's right, but he's still doing the things that contribute to it.

So

you seem like you're making a slight effort, but not a full effort.

Yeah.

That's weird.

That's about right.

That's his entire existence.

Just enough to get by the get him Steve Dave story.

Method.

So gout is a really inflammatory condition, so it can cause other issues too in your body.

So we're a lot of times if people want to be like look at into longevity, they look at lowering their uric acid.

So that the fact that it is higher, we don't know the level could

lead to other long-term health issues

now I will say my first my first bout with gout was before I had was even a drinker I thought I had broken my toe somehow during my sleep because it became inflamed that was your that was the first time yeah and then it slowly went away and then finally I happened to flamed up during work and I had insurance so I went in they're like okay yeah you have gout

what is inflaming when you have gout what is the thing that's inflaming I could show you pictures of myself okay so google the crystals that are in your joints when you have gout.

They're scary.

So, they're like monosodium urate crystals, which deposit in your joints and cause like all kinds of havoc.

So, if you let it go for too long, it can actually destroy the joint.

Well, how long is too long?

I think this has got to be since the 90s.

There's probably some long-term damage.

Yeah, you definitely have calcification in that toe.

Yeah, and I, and I'm sure I know that you have an issue.

Can you take the toe off now?

No, but I'll try.

No, no, no.

I used to have chronic ingrown toenails, and I asked that question as a child, and they said, no,

13%er's O-face is never going to leave.

There's like permanent O-face after listening to this episode.

The point is, we can get rid of all of this.

So that's the point.

We need to start working towards a good idea.

You probably offer them $5,000 to lose weight.

You don't have a toe folder?

Google the crystals, though, so they can see what they look like inside your joints.

They're scary.

And they cause

all kinds of trouble.

It's like millions of needles.

Yeah, look at them.

Oh, my God.

Look at that.

Yeah.

Holy cow.

Microscopic world.

That just forms.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, like, my toe will get about twice the normal size and like beet red and inflamed hot, everything.

You got a big toe to begin with.

Yeah.

This is, it looks like the Fortress of Solitude just coming up in your joints.

Yeah.

Good analogy.

Thanks, buddy.

I'm always thinking about Superman.

You know that.

He's always there.

Flying around.

So I'm willing to help, but you have to take the step

towards that.

Here she goes.

Welcome to the fucking roller coaster that we've all been on.

Yeah, I'm willing to help, but you have to take the first step.

I want to help you.

That was a flare-up there.

She had the middle finger.

You can kind of see how.

Not literally a middle finger.

I get an extreme close-up of the toenail.

That's disgusting.

The toenail is mellow.

Is it a fungus?

No, I have a fungus.

This is a mongoose.

I don't want to shame you, bud.

But still,

we got to turn this around.

I'll let the pictures do that for you.

We've got to turn this around.

I've been wanting to turn and get him around health-wise.

Walt's been working on his life.

His brain.

I used to.

Yeah.

I gave up on it.

I would love to get him healthier.

Why don't we get a blood panel and just check your blood pressure?

Because that would be a first baby step.

Okay.

Okay.

He said, okay.

I'm going to do it.

That's the question.

What do you got to go down there to Walgreens and get a reading and then send it to you?

You no, you would have to just take a prescription, which is easy to do.

Oh, they don't have those chairs at Walgreens where you sit and get your blood pressure?

They're trash.

Oh, are they?

I kind of feel like they're trashy.

I use those and I always do you think that I don't feel like they're that accurate.

What about an Apple Watch?

Can we get an Apple Watch?

Will that help?

That doesn't check your blood pressure, just your heart rate.

And I'm thinking about getting a new one anyway.

I can check your blood pressure for free and the right way next time I come over.

I don't have any of my stuff.

You don't travel with your bag?

No, no, no.

Actually, it's in my car, but I don't have my car.

You don't have a Swigma Mama?

I have everything.

I just don't have it with my bag.

Like, do you have the stereotypical bag that you travel around desktop?

Yeah, yeah, I have everything.

Is that mandatory?

Like, you can get your license.

It's like, boom, you got to have this bag always.

No.

Do you have the headband with the.

No, I actually don't.

You do home visits?

I do.

Wow, that is something of that.

That's very wrong.

Dawn era.

I usually save it for people who c are paralyzed.

Do you live in a real rural area where you don't have any

hospitals or anything?

No, it's for mostly people who are paralyzed.

Oh.

Or really bad.

And get'em?

You'll do get'em too.

Do you have any other questions for Dr.

D

before I go?

I could take the heat off you.

I have some questions from T.S.

D.

Town Resident.

I mean, you know, I think that's pretty much the only one.

You know,

the sh elbow, which also I'll show you the knee later.

Okay.

It's a little tough right now.

Don't get jealous, bro.

To see if it's the same thing.

You have your torso.

She has kiddo.

To see if it's the same thing, because I thought my knee was psoriasis.

So I'm not sure.

It might be this.

Oh, you have pants on.

Okay.

Yeah.

Shockingly.

That might actually be psoriasis.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So if that was psoriasis, could this also be a resolve?

I don't think that is.

Okay.

That would resolve.

Okay.

This thing.

For real?

Oh, now he was showing his body parts.

Yeah, this is a gross.

I don't want to get him to feel better.

I don't feel him.

So every once in a while, that's like a spot, and every once in a while it'll break out like that.

It was like a warp.

I think you got to get that biopsy.

Oh, man.

I knew I had cancer.

I think.

Damn.

That happens like every two years.

Take a foot off.

I would get a biopsy.

That probably could be like a squamous cell or basal cell carcinoma.

Oh, man.

I got some needle cells.

I've tried a doctor looking at in the past.

And they said nothing?

Did you ever get a biopsy?

I don't think they biopsied.

It was

a skin doctor.

Oh, a dermatologist did look at it?

He looked at it and was like, that's fine.

Don't worry about it.

It'll do it from time to time.

But anything that keeps opening up and not healing scares me.

Well, usually.

I mean, the last time I did this was probably like four years ago.

Just go get someone to take a piece of it

and make sure it's okay.

And if it's

wrong, just give me a natty light.

Stick a fork in me.

You want to turn it on that?

Yeah.

All right.

So I got to get it.

If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

But I'd rather you not have to.

Error on the side of caution.

Yeah.

I I mean, like, just get a little bit of a little take a piece off and they'll tell you.

Well, knowing those scans are 2,500, not 6,000 lines.

I'm pretty sure.

Google it.

Got it.

That'll spring for.

That'll do.

Yeah, but that won't fix the skin cancer.

No, but I'm saying is like I'll do a whole.

Yeah, do the whole thing.

Well, you just said skin cancer.

That fucking escalated.

That's what I was saying it was, though.

I got nervous about skin cancer because I have a beard.

You can't see, like, because I was a lifeguard for years and years and years.

So if I had, like, some sort of spot on my face that was skin cancer, I wouldn't even know.

You got to get someone to look in there.

Go through all this hair?

A dermatologist would.

Would they?

So like when I go to the dermatologist,

I know.

I know when I go to the dermatologist.

Found another one.

Really?

There were how many?

When I go to the dermatologist, they look at my hair.

They look everywhere, yeah.

Hey, you know what?

We've kind of given up on trying to garner the youth market, right?

With this episode,

we got to kind of like give it up, right?

That there's always in hell.

I thought it was still faded anyway.

I thought the trains thing would really grab the youth, but it didn't turn like I thought it would.

To do subreddits up?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm still not ready to dip my toe in yet.

I tell you, I got to be ready.

Really?

You look fully invested.

Oh, I've got trains running.

I was going to say, I looked at your Instagram.

It's

setting up movie scenes and shit.

It's fucking nice, those trains, man.

It is hot in here, isn't it?

We apologize for that.

That's fine.

The trains look cool.

I did see your picture.

Thank you.

Yeah, that was

cool.

I do.

Do you have time to just take a few questions from some Tampa Town alumni?

So,

this one comes from our sound guru, Declan.

And just a little backstory to the question.

Stop the creaking.

Stop the creaking.

He received a notification from Nectar.

And now, Nectar, in his country, they track

purchases in UK supermarkets, I guess, online when he orders his groceries online.

And he has been awarded the second biggest purchaser of Ben and Jerry's Banana Fee ice cream on the app that 18 million people are signed up to.

Whoa.

So he wants to know: is seven pints of ice cream a week too much?

And he's a skinny guy, too.

He's not like, he's not heavy.

That's that sugar shit.

Yeah, I think, yeah, so

it's seven times too much because you really.

You say zero ice cream.

Zero ice cream.

You don't even give a cheat day to enjoy life cream?

You You can have some, but that container should last you a while.

What was the name of the ice cream?

Banano Fee.

I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.

It's Ben and Jerry's Banano Fee.

I thought it was a mixture of banana and coffee, but it's.

How many per week?

Seven?

Seven.

Yeah, that's fine.

That's crazy.

That is something.

That's expensive.

That's diabetes.

That's what he spends all his money on.

That's like a straight, that's a straight line to diabetes.

It's right there.

Straight line.

What about, like, what about someone that eats healthy six days a week, but on that one day is like, I'm going ham.

That's fine.

Yeah, you like that?

Yeah, as long as, like, it's as long as they're

it's, yeah, I think it's fine.

Here's the

nutritional for his banana fee

someday.

How are you supposed to read that?

Yeah, I was like, some other legs.

That's fucking British shit.

Nobody gets it.

16, where's the sugar?

16 grams of fat.

The carbs are 35 grams.

26% grams of, or 26 grams of sugar.

Yeah.

28.

This is the carbs.

Safe to say, though, he should cut down.

Correct.

Okay, definitely.

You got it straight from the

number one.

I have a question from Brian Tales from Behind the Fake Counter Nichol.

All right.

He goes, as a drummer

with tendonitis in my wrists, what can I do before and after I play to minimize the pain?

Now, he just picked up drumming for the first time in decades, and he got the bug.

He's got people in the audience taking off their shows.

He had that show, that infamous show.

So he's not going to give up drumming now.

He said, like, you you know what?

I got to just deal with the pain.

So what can he do now to deal with the pain?

So he can wear like carpal tunnel wrist brace to bed.

He's going to get so much puss.

You know, we want to keep the ladies happy, right?

So he can wear carpal tunnel wrist brace to bed to keep his, like, to keep the wrist open.

And he can

use like, they have these.

Some people use paraffin, but they have these machines you can buy where you can heat your hands and get and massage at the same time just to kind of get like a lot of the inflammation out.

So, those two things would be the top things I would say.

He has a couple other questions, though.

Okay.

He says his wife is using menopause as an excuse for everything from forgetfulness to laziness.

Is she full of bleep?

I don't remember my mother ever complaining about this feminine affliction.

So, I think that is it's one of the main comments that I hear from women who are over a certain age that are menopausal.

I think that what age?

Probably like

late 40s, early 50s.

Okay.

So Mary Beth still has some time.

Yeah.

All right.

It's like the drop.

Fucking decades.

She's probably long gone.

Yeah.

Number three's problem.

Yeah.

So the drop in estrogen can make you really like not think straight, be like uncomfortably hot a lot of times.

Grouchy.

Yeah, grouchy.

If she's really that bad off, you know, she could discuss with her doctor maybe going on like hormone replacement or something small, like a bio-identical hormone to make her a little bit happier and less.

Because you can't just say, hey, I'm inopause, I'll deal with it.

There are things you can do.

Yeah, you can.

Yeah, there are things you can do.

I mean, they're not magical things, but there's little things you can do that make it a little bit easier.

But it's like kind of how you feel when your testosterone drops, right?

You feel tired.

You feel tired.

It's always on the way up.

It's always pinned at that.

He has to go in for estrogen injections because he's got too much.

That's what I heard.

I got some questions from Jimmy the hair guy.

Oh.

I'm in the early stages of diabetes.

What should I eat and what should I avoid?

Okay.

He already knows.

He knows.

Many months to hear it.

So I would say

high-protein diet.

So he should be getting half of his body weight and protein every day.

Lean protein.

He does that by sucking off guys.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

I know that for a fact.

Yeah.

So if he weighs 170 pounds, he has to eat 35 pounds of protein?

Half of 170.

Okay, what's that?

80?

Yeah, around about.

85?

Yeah.

85 grams?

85 grams.

Oh, okay.

He's like a dinosaur.

I'll kill the guy if he eats that much.

Oh, no, he needs to eat about half of his body weight and protein.

Okay.

And try to keep his his carbohydrates to like 120 grams per day.

Are Red Bulls okay?

Sugar-free?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe.

Anything you drink with sugar is bad.

Kiss a death right there, in my opinion.

So, and tell him to walk more.

The more you walk after you eat, like 10 minutes after every meal, you're going to burn some stuff off.

Okay, and he asks,

I spend a lot of time looking down at my phone.

Can it affect my posture?

100%.

So I feel like in the future, we're all going to go from the, you see the timeline of like the Homo sapien.

Yeah.

We're going to go back down to that curve down again because everybody's going to get browsed.

Everybody in their mom is looking down at the phone like this.

So of course it can.

Yeah.

I mean, you really, posture is important.

So what can he do to like, can that be a neck brace so he can't look down?

We could put him in a neck brace in front of him.

Just for fun, we could put him in a neck brace.

No, just like I tell patients, make sure your workspace is conducive to your body, like ergonomical, you know?

Okay.

Like keep your head up, you know, as best you can.

I have one from Tom

Miloszewski.

Mil Miles.

Tampong Tom?

Yeah.

He tells everybody, I don't, it's crazy how like this, it's like strangers, the first thing he says after he says, Hi, I'm Tom, is I had a vasectomy.

I had a vasectomy, and I'm wondering, what are the chances that my swimmers come back and I have to do it again, and what's the thought process behind 20 released before testing?

And finally, should I limit my sex to make sure they don't come back, or is it just over time?

I don't think he should have got it.

I think at this point, he must regret it so much that it's constantly on his mind.

He doesn't talk about it.

I think he got browbeat into it now.

He's just

40 years.

He's old.

He's younger than Gidden.

I think he's in his 20s.

Oh, he's odd.

He's 43.

What?

He's 29?

No, he's 43.

Oh, really?

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

So after you get a vasectomy, you have to go back for a follow-up to get a viability test to see if you still have active sperm.

And

why you wouldn't go back for that, I don't know why, because you could be still fertile.

Your wife could still get pregnant or your partner.

So after you have the vasectomy, I would say I think there's, I don't, don't quote me on this, but I think there is like a less than 20% chance you could still get someone pregnant.

You have to wait for like a full

cycle to go by.

So, this 20 released, does that mean he has to go to the doctor 20 times?

No, I think he means like

ejaculation.

Oh,

yeah.

How dare he?

So, one time, 20 in one day, the doctor has 20 episodes.

The doctor checks all of them?

No, no, no.

He just,

he's actively cautious for 20 seconds.

So, people think it's 21.

And then after that.

21 has to be in the office.

No, no, no.

The doctor watching.

I'm not explaining it well.

I'm not explaining it well.

So he goes, he does a procedure.

He goes back and he makes sure that his sperm count is way down.

But they probably want you to go through 20 different episodes to kind of clear out whatever might be already pre-stored.

That's going to take him two years.

Wow.

He confided in me.

He doesn't care a lot.

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do that.

He's got like one day a month.

Well, then he can work on his own.

He's got kids.

He says his kids.

That really crimps his.

Yeah, well, then he's going to have to be careful until he gets through that whole process.

If there's a power failure, he can't do anything.

Because I know a few people that have had vasectomies and still had their significant other get pregnant.

Well, why doesn't he just do what Geddam does?

And jerk off on our couch.

That's a long ride for Tom.

Oh, you're on the couch?

I guess I'll go back home.

Just wasted an hour and a half drive here.

You could have checked the calendar.

Isn't there a camera in here?

Can you just check to see if you're here or not?

That's part of it.

That's why they do it here.

So his, did you, do you think you answered his.

I think that he just has to be cautious and make sure he gets the vitamins.

Should he just wear protection

just to be safe?

Yeah, for a little bit.

Or ask his doctor where he's at with his testing.

But that's not 100%.

You want to let it fly, man.

Eventually, he won't have to worry about it.

But in the very beginning.

Can he order a tester like Brian can for his blood on Amazon?

No.

Not an Apple Watch.

Yes.

That's their newest feature in 2025.

You heard it here first.

Okay.

I don't think you can order anything online.

And I have this one.

I've been saving this one for a TSD.

I was going to ask the guys, but boy, am I glad I saved it for when we have Dr.

D here.

This is from a listener.

I'm not going to give any names.

My partner of three years has chlamydia, and I tested negative for it.

He 100% cheated, right?

Because he's saying he has no idea how he got it.

And the only theory he is telling me is he may have caught it from a petting zoo we visited a few months ago.

Is this possible?

Homeboy scrambling for anything.

Going to the petting zoo.

Fuck a goat.

Yeah.

Was he like naked at the petting zoo?

Like, you know, no.

I think that.

Though it was probably in the summertime, though.

So here's the trick.

He had short shorts on.

It's possible.

You can get a chlamydia from an animal?

Yeah.

I mean,

animals are a little bit more cheap.

They are so chlamydia-ladened quality.

Yeah, they are.

Wow.

I did not know that.

Gross.

I used to think they were cute.

Maybe we should make them extinct.

Can you tell me again that the partner was different?

She doesn't want to reveal her name, though.

But she was definitely negative.

She said she was negative, and she's really suspicious that he's lying.

With good reason.

I think, yeah, I don't think that you just randomly.

I was like, from another chick or from a llama.

Yeah, yeah.

So someone is, someone,

someone has chlamydia.

He probably got chlamydia from another person.

I would assume.

Unless for some reason

she was a carrier, but usually that's not the case.

I can't think.

Air on the side of caution on this one, you're saying.

I think that the person who actively has it got it from someone who actively has it, and it probably wasn't her.

She's not going to be happy with this.

I think she's willing to hear some

possible.

Don't worry about it, petting zoos, or

hot zones.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

It was Mrs.

Fife.

No, not mine.

She stole his joker.

What is chlamydia anyway?

What is it?

I don't even know what I've heard of my entire life.

No, I know that, but what is it?

Is it like a bacteria or is it a live organism?

Yeah,

it's usually secreted from like

genital secretions once you have it.

Oh, it's so nasty.

Secretion.

Word alone.

It's bacterium.

Yeah.

Look at them.

All innocent, this quadratic.

It's not his fault.

Can you fucking pill?

It's because of some fucking piece of shit.

Some awesome motherfucker was like, hey, it's not a day, mate.

You ain't getting away.

Get over here.

All right, give me some of that.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.

Oi, oi, oi.

That's a knife.

But that's a pill, right?

Chlamydia is a curable one.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You usually take like a zithermycin.

And you're good.

You're usually good pretty quick.

So this guy, he couldn't catch it before his girl caught it and just got that pill down the throat?

I'm sure he didn't know.

I don't think he had it, yeah.

What are the signs of chlamydia?

I don't know.

All I got was this question for you guys.

She really wanted Q to answer this.

Oh, really?

Q, how would you have answered it?

What?

I'd have been like, well, he cheated on you.

You either come to terms doing it or you don't.

That's pretty harsh, though.

You want to break the news a little bit.

That's some rough bedside manner.

What do you want?

What does she want?

She's got it.

She needs the truth, man.

She can't be talking about koalas.

She needs to hear it's possible.

It's sure.

But it's

highly unlikely.

Oh, look at this shit.

Why is it easier if the news comes from Q, do you think?

I think she watches a lot of IJ, and she's like, it just like she wants to hear it from somebody familiar that she finds comfort in watching, I think.

Some random doctor or something for her lying boyfriend.

I just don't remember why they call it the clap.

I can't remember why they call it that.

Maybe not.

We're about to find out.

Remember how people used to say that?

That's kind of old school, though.

Claps was really old school, yeah.

I wonder why they called it that.

Oh, it's gonorrhea.

Comedia,

it's not typically called a cop.

It was gonorrhea.

Oh, never mind.

You're right.

You're right.

Sorry.

I got confused.

Holy shit, it's crazy.

Wow.

Well, yeah.

I hate to break it to you, lady.

Yeah, sorry.

Meaning rabbit hutch referencing the high reproductive rate of rabbits.

And now, this question is so old that

I don't even know if she still even listens anymore.

I'm sure life went south after this email was sent, you know.

But hopefully, you know, she's still listening and she got the answer that

I'm sure she probably came to a conclusion by now anyway.

This was

maybe a year ago.

It was a great sound.

You know, Sound Life does fake commercials and Alec Baldwin did one year, I mean, 20 years ago, where it was a commercial for

what the fuck called cold sores and and uh

what causes cold?

Fever sore?

Fever blister?

Herpes.

Herpes.

Okay, so it was, it was a commercial of a herpes medication, and it was Alec Baldwin.

And the whole point of the, the whole, through the whole commercial, he's like, you know, the voice will go.

He goes, and I would told my wife that you could have it in your system for 20 years and it doesn't show up.

And it was all about like

any fucking way.

For that, that's someone on the left there.

He just keeps going on.

Look how stoic he is.

Oh, God.

It stuck with me all these years later.

He's 06.

Yeah, wow.

Almost 20 years.

I have some questions that I would always feel self-conscious asking a doctor because they sound so dumb.

No, ask me.

I did want to ask you, you know, in the comfort of my own office and not feeling, you know, self-conscious asking it, but

can a pet really add seven years to your life?

They say that,

so there's a couple things in my mind that come to mind.

So they say that pets can actually lower your blood pressure because they help you relax.

That's true.

I think that if you have something to help you relax, of course.

I also think that.

You're not as firm on that delivery as you were.

Oh, I really.

I really.

You're more active.

You're more physically active when you have pets.

Yeah.

I think they're good for your mental health.

So, yes, I think that that's pretty.

I think there is some truth to that.

There is some truth that I can be used

to your life.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean they think help you de-stress.

Is laughter the best medicine?

For me it is.

I think that's I think that's a I say that to everybody all the time.

Better than penicillin even.

I got cancer, Doc.

I'm not going to laugh my way out of it.

I think it's important.

How helpful?

It helps you release endorphins,

you know, increases your neurotransmitters and things like that.

I did have an unnamed TSD town resident I wanted to ask.

he didn't want to give his name

everybody wants to remain anonymous yeah where is it now i have it oh my god um okay i've been dealing with some long-term resentment and bitterness can that mental state start to affect my overall physical health

let me take this one duck

yes of course yeah uh-huh yeah i think you know they always say how, and I guess I don't know the medical basis for it, but the A-type personality or the person who's always walking around angry, pissed off, their blood pressure is going to be higher.

They're more apt for heart attacks and things like that.

So, yeah.

I think

if you hold things in too long, I think it's bad for you.

I don't know the exact science behind it, but I do think it's not good.

So you're saying something that I've been withholding from Mary Beth that I really want to see it or I should tell her as soon as I get home?

I think communication is really important.

Remember that petting zoo we went to?

I got some bad news for you.

I should have worn pants.

Remember those short shorts I was wearing?

I shouldn't have worn them.

Shouldn't have worn money.

Coal took one look at me.

Okay.

I mean, how do you guys think the doc fared?

Do you think she's got a permanent spot as the general practitioner?

I think we're off to a good start.

I mean, I got to go get this leg checked out.

Ginam's got a bevy of tests he's got to do.

I love introducing,

I don't want to, character is not the right word because nobody's a character, but I love introducing new

personality.

Personality, new people into our universe.

And now you.

Standing right side by side, not shoulder to shoulder, but with like Jimmy Harrigan, he's a little bit shorter than you.

Tom Millage, whatever his name is,

Sunday Jeff,

Dr.

D.

Same, now you're mentioning the same breath as those Titans

of TSD Town.

It's a true honor, for real.

No salary.

No.

It's a frequent one.

It doesn't come with it.

Yeah.

TSD Town, this appointment comes with no financial benefits to you.

In fact, it's probably a financial burden for you in a way, but nobody has insurance.

You got to bring it up.

You're taking new patients on now.

Yeah,

you got to cut them off from your regular

doctor at those house visits.

Do you do telemedicine?

I do.

Oh, get them.

You a separate.

I'm a jack of all trades.

Telemedicine is the way to go, right?

You can make bank and never leave your bedroom.

It's hard, though.

Is it?

Yeah.

I've done telemedicine, but it always seems like pretty straightforward.

It's so much easier to help diagnose someone when you can be in the same room with them and listen to them and talk to them and see what's up.

Like, you're a trained observer.

So, like, sometimes when someone walks in, I can just tell right away something, like, what's going on.

But she's like Smurfette.

In Smurf Town, because in TSD town, it's all

dudes.

It's all dudes.

It's all dudes.

13% or something.

So you don't have to worry about any of the female afflictions.

You just got to keep your up to date on all the men.

All the male.

Your fingers are going to be tied.

You're going to have a ganglion sis.

Did I share my race?

No, you shared the race.

You got that Brett Favre on?

Did she capar?

I know you brought the Jerry Rice-Brett Favre combination.

Copper.

It's a tutorial.

But how old were you when you knew you wanted to be a doctor?

I was

probably

17 or 18, but

I didn't think I was smart enough to do it.

I had very little self-confidence.

So I applied to college for journalism

and

I was like, I got there and I was like, no,

this is ridiculous.

And I called and said, can I change my major?

And they said like a week before school.

And I'm like, just try, just try.

You can do it.

And I did.

So, but I didn't think I was smart enough to do it.

And I was scared too.

Yeah.

So

the fear is what keeps everybody from trying to

everything.

Yeah.

fulfill or trying to do things and accomplish things, the fear of not being able to do it.

Yeah.

That's why a lot of people don't go to the doctor because they're scared.

Oh, yeah.

But if you find one that makes you feel comfortable, it can be

a really rewarding experience, and you live longer and you're happier.

So.

Do you have patients where you're like, oh man, I can't believe I got to tell this guy this?

Are you generally not going to be able to do that?

You wouldn't believe the things that people tell me when the door shuts.

I mean, there's things that people tell me when the door shuts, and I'm like, I don't want to know that.

You know what I mean?

Like

completely ridiculous.

Like Tom's like, I had to jerk off 20 times in a row.

Just things that would blow your your mind about, like, you know, relationships and things that they do behind their significant other's back.

And

just the most ridiculous stuff.

And it's like, all right.

Went to this petting zoo doctor.

Like, I've got it on me.

You know, those koalas, they're cute as hell.

But did you know they're disease-ridden?

It's because they trust me, I guess,

which is a nice thing.

But it's weird, yeah.

It's almost like that's the kind of thing you would think is reserved for like a psychologist or something, not a no.

People will tell you anything, and you just have to let it hit you and just, you know, like a tennis ball.

They say like at a curtain, you throw it and it rolls down.

You can't react.

You have to keep a straight face all the time.

Even when people say the most ridiculous or funny things,

it's hard sometimes because I like to laugh and I enjoy it.

But

it's

interesting.

I can't imagine anything more rewarding, though, when if somebody comes in with a problem and they think it's dire and you help them and they get better.

That has to be an extremely

rush of just

great

emotions and feeling, right?

When you're right about something.

Oh my God.

When you're right about something and you help someone, it's a really good feeling.

And when you can't figure something out and you're struggling, that's when it's hard.

Or when you can't help someone, it feels horrible.

Yeah.

So there's ups and downs, everything in life, you know?

But when you do help someone and they're better, that is a really good feeling.

It's got to be like, how long is that?

Like, how long are you walking around like feeling great?

Like, is it just as you as you do this longer, does that feeling kind of wear off

a little bit longer?

It sticks with you for a while, but it's such a fast-paced job that you got to move on to the next.

You know what I mean?

And keep going.

It's like podcasting.

It's on to the next podcast.

You know, we get, oh, we banged a good one.

Oh, who cares?

We're on to the next one.

What's What's next?

No, it lasts for a while.

And then every time this year, we help people laugh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you did say it's the best medicine.

It is.

Your honorary doctors.

So starting off.

Pretty much doctors.

Yeah.

Doctors of podology.

That's awesome.

White coats for everyone.

All right.

I want it back.

Oh, you do?

Yeah.

When do you wear it?

Do you wear anything under it?

Where's it on the couch?

When I have an episode.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I would say she's in.

She's in.

Welcome to TSD Town.

I'm here.

Can get you a plaque.

Awesome.

Would you hang it in your office?

100%.

All right.

We should do it.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you for having me.

Any other questions?

Yeah, we're probably going to need you around Christmas time on our Christmas episode.

Okay.

A lot of people commit suicide around that.

Oh, gosh.

What's for how to prevent it?

Oh, no, I was just thinking more of the aspect.

We need fresh blood.

We need fresh stories.

You need a medical on team, like on SAF, just in case someone goes down.

Oh, yeah.

That could happen at any recording.

I'm always thinking that's going to happen.

It hasn't happened yet.

But honestly, thank you.

Appreciate your time.

You're so welcome.

Thank you.

You know, one of the things I like, I love, like, is a lot of our listeners.

think we're stupid and they have no problem going online and saying that we're so stupid.

Yeah.

This isn't this right here, having a doctor as a listener, in the gates, all these trolls telling me that I'm an idiot and I'm stupid.

And then I never, you know, oh, he never went to college and he never, he literally moved six miles from his house.

What does he know?

He's a dope.

That's very

this negates that shit.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

It's like a Mensa podcast.