#601: Raw Doggin'

Hey everybody, my name is Chuck Staten, and you might know me as the producer of Tuesdays with Stories with Mark Norman and Joe List, or from the Tell Hem Steve Dave podcast, where I've done a lot of video work and hosted some shows on the Patreon over the years.

But today, I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Fun Bearable, with comic Ray Harrington and improv player Brad Rohr.

We're celebrating our 100th episode of our podcast live at the Comedy Connection in East Providence, Rhode Island, on Sunday, July 21st.

So if you're in the New England area, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, anywhere, come on out.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

Our live podcasts are more than just a podcast.

There's video elements, there's improv stuff, there's sketch stuff, sometimes there's prank stuff.

We always want the audience to walk away feeling surprised, to say the very least.

And it's going to be a great time.

The show is sponsored by R.I.

Food Fights, the best food organization in Rhode Island.

The show is also sponsored by Tracy's Cream and Sugar, my coffee shop of choice in my hometown of Warren, Rhode Island, right on Main Street.

So go to funbearablepod.com for tickets for our show, the 100th 100th episode of Fun Bearable, on Sunday, July 21st at the Comedy Connection in East Providence, Rhode Island.

The best way to explain it, I think, is that I'm Doc Brown, you're Marty McFly, and when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious shit.

Actually, that's not a great, it's not a great metaphor.

We're not traveling in any way or ramping up speed.

Doesn't really

apply.

But funbearablepod.com.

I gotta say, though, like again, though, like I'm not on Team Get'em.

Then they called his feet meaty.

Like he's defending Ron like he's sucking his cock.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave number 601, boys.

It's been a little while since

we sat around the table.

Yeah, it has.

Last time was

not 600, but 599 point, whatever it was.

Was that two weeks ago?

Yeah, a couple of two, three weeks ago.

All right.

We're here now?

Now we're here.

We're on the other side of 600, and I got to tell you, the word on the street is everybody liked it.

I have yet to see any dissenting opinions.

What do you say, Walt?

Sure.

You look at the love in all the wrong places, but if you look for it hard enough, you'll find it.

You'll find those people who are not happy.

They are tired of me sucking Giddam's dick.

Really?

Well, yeah.

It's too bad because we're entering a whole new era of Giddam dick sucking.

I don't know, man.

I'm a little pissed off at him as it is right now.

I get him.

He already already.

Yeah.

Already I'm fucking questioning my

decision to go to throw the

court, to throw the trial

in his favor.

We have a limited room in this office, right?

Yeah.

So when we record and we have a lot of people in the room.

There are no windows still.

Well, we're working on that.

Yeah.

So we tend to put some of this.

I don't know if you noticed when you got here.

We throw some stuff out in the hallway, some extra chairs, some boxes.

Okay.

And

yesterday I had some stuff out there.

And the do you remember we talked a couple months ago about one of the Ron's and how I would,

if you had the scenario, if he was, if there was a fire that get him started in the airport plaza and Ron perished in the fire, I said that I would not pot anymore.

Yeah, I remember.

Well,

I really have to rethink that decision because I was informed today that he overheard Ron complaining about us putting stuff in the hallway.

Yeah.

To who?

To the super.

Did it even come to you first?

No.

Oh.

And this fuckwit is like, well there's a lot of stuff in the hallway like he's defending ron like he's sucking his cock

instead of being like instead of seeing me i'm mad instead of being like yeah what a jerk off he's like well ron may be in the right on this one and i'm like fuck you yeah and i really feel like yeah now i'm wishing that now i had done none of those went through all those mental hoops to make him win the fucking he should have did it on his own if he was going to win yeah that's what happens when you mess with the law man

turn out so wait, did you pull everything in from the hallway?

No, that's still out there.

Fuck him.

Fuck him.

If he wants to now go through the legal channel or

go up the ladder and go to the lady that we pay rent to,

you know, all right, then maybe we'll leave then.

If I can't put the shit out there once in a while.

Once in a while.

Once in a while.

It's not like you're putting garbage out there.

No, you're just wheeling that shit out there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not very neighboring.

It's petty.

Yeah, it's a little petty.

It really is.

And then this guy is just like, oh,

we can't block Ron's entrance, bro.

Me and Ron think this.

You really are annoyed.

I see it.

Oh, yeah.

I was really annoyed.

I wasn't a goof.

I told him.

I was like, well, he's on the shit list now.

And you're about fucking within a millimeter of fucking being on that list, too.

Now, if you want to fucking defend him so badly, maybe you go over there and work for him.

Yes, man.

I thought I was having a stressful day.

This is fucking crazy.

You had no idea what was going on.

Yeah.

See how he treats you over there.

See if he'll fucking throw a trial in your favor.

Yeah.

I can't help but notice that the $5 jar isn't set up.

No, how many months?

How many weeks did he have to get the jar ready?

Quite a while.

Yeah.

Didn't happen.

So, what's he up to?

Him and Ron just powwowing?

I don't know what he's doing.

We caught him sleeping today, me and Jeff.

Get out of here.

Yeah.

Walked in on him sleeping.

Wow, sleeping where?

Right on that fucking, right where Tom is sitting behind you.

Wow.

Tom Milazowski's in the room.

We're recording some Sunday Jeff shows after.

During business hours.

Yeah.

Two o'clock.

What, two o'clock in the afternoon?

Yeah, I was having business.

All right, just checking.

Wow.

Okay.

All right.

So no.

So there's been no lessons learned.

There's been nothing.

That big weepy speech he made at the end out the window.

Yeah.

It feels like, yeah, he's like, oh, I cried a little bit.

Yeah, I'm good for a while.

I can go back to my old ways.

Definitely.

Wow.

Notice he didn't put a bike out for himself.

Yeah, what's going on over there?

You can finally talk, and this is it.

It's not even looking up.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Shit.

But I don't want to spend the whole episode complaining.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah, I want to hear about this trip you took, man.

Some stuff had to have happened.

You really haven't said anything about it.

Well, we mean the Franks and

the Flanagans took a trip to Minnesota.

It's a good trip.

I don't know if anything happened that was all that

pod-worthy in terms of like, oh, well, you know, this this got fucked up or this got fucked up.

It was cool, though, that an aunt reached out to us on the road and hooked me up with, hooked us all up with

a backstage tour of the NFL Hall of Fame.

Oh, nice.

Holy shit.

Awesome.

25% of your group was like, yes.

The other 75% of the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, three, what, three-fourths of

the tour was probably just like, what are we doing for three hours?

We're going to get old jerseys and cleats.

Weather helmets.

Awesome.

No, such a cool.

And like,

I can't even imagine how many millions have been pumped into the Hall of Fame by the.

I mean, NFL's got it.

Oh, sure.

And like, the stuff that the public doesn't get the chance to see

is staggering.

Like, what?

Give us a peek of

scenes.

There was a brace that Peyton Manning wears that he wore when he was on the Denver Broncos, and there was a little secret compartment in it.

And when you unzip it, there were all these rosaries and

like Catholic charms that he would pray to so he wouldn't injure that leg that had already been injured already.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

And I don't have that on display.

And I wonder if that's because it's too hot-button.

You know, oh, let's not mix religion and football.

Well, it is a little, it's a little weird

to believe in totems and shit like that.

It could look trust.

He thinks God is looking over him.

He thinks God is watching the game and being like, all right.

Why wouldn't he?

He won Super Bowls.

He was one of the greats.

It's so fucking narcissistic, man, as to be almost unbelievable.

No, I would think that somebody playing in a fucking touch football game praying is narcissistic, but when you're with the greatest ever dead, you might be like, I don't know, maybe God had a hand in this.

It's like Scientology to me.

Because the people that are in Scientology that we see are like the famous ones and the rich ones.

And it's like, it seems to all work out for everybody.

I bet you there's a whole bunch of people that Scientology ain't working out for.

Yeah.

I got to see Tom Brady's Super Bowl-winning jersey with the grass stains and his cleats.

And

I thought,

like, when I went to Graceland and they let me touch stuff, or

they have a strict, no

flesh can touch any of the artifacts.

Okay.

They adhere to like the strictest museum rules.

And so, like, yeah, I had to wear white gloves.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess I could have worn white gloves, but I didn't do the white gloves.

The aunt who showed us around touched everything, but he let me smell it, though.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's nice.

How did it smell?

What did it

smell like?

Remember that?

What was that movie with the guy from

who played

Rorschach and Watchmen?

He was also in Bad News Bears.

Remember, he put the underwear on the face and his wife caught it.

Oh, Kelly, yeah, Kelly Leake from Jackie Earl Haley.

What was that really fucked up movie where his wife walked in on him and he was on the computer jerking off and he had a pair of underwear on his head?

Yeah, I remembered.

I don't remember the movie, though.

Yeah, well, that's what I thought it was going to happen.

I thought I was going to be able to do that.

Jerk off with Tom Brady's jersey wrapped around my face.

Girls and Frank waiting outside the bathroom.

Walter, are you?

Oh, oh, he's not ready, guys.

He's not ready.

You're a fucking.

I'm doing something.

So as Cleat

saw some Detroit Lions gear,

was told that helmets

and

the

chemicals or what helmets are made out of.

Modern helmets.

Modern helmets are breaking down constantly.

And it's just the challenge is that they want to revert back to their plastic form.

So they get sticky and they're just

at some point they're not going to exist anymore.

Helmets.

The old helmets like players wore.

Like, oh, this is Brady's helmet.

Yeah, but in about 100 years from now, it'll just be a puddle of plastic.

Oh, wow.

I wouldn't have thought that the plastic would break down like that.

Yeah, it breaks down.

And he said if you were able to touch touch it, you could feel how sticky these helmets are from the 60s.

Really?

Because they're just breaking down constantly.

They have a strict temperature that they have to have the building at.

Sure.

Lighting has to be a certain

fluorescent, or not fluorescent, but you know what I mean?

So it doesn't damage anything.

No UV in it, probably, Aaron.

Yeah.

It was awesome, though.

That was really fucking dope.

And I want to thank him for, I don't want to say his name, I don't want to get him in trouble in case he didn't, you know, get the

wherewithal or the proper channels to let us go down there.

Sure.

Probably did, though.

Probably did.

Came in on his day off, too.

That's nice.

Yeah.

That is nice.

Was he all agog at Frank 5?

Did he, was he like...

Well, you know what he's, you know what his title is?

Curator.

Oh, curator.

I got to take it from SmodFan and give it to this guy now.

There can only be one.

I'm only Ken Swat fan.

Take that gun out of your mouth.

I knew this day would come.

Goodbye, World.

Goodbye, Tom, Steve Dave.

Oh, wow.

He rocked out on the trip, too.

Oh, yes, with Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks.

Oh, whoa, they performed together?

Together.

That had to be sweet, man.

Well, they performed in Chicago at Soldier Field.

We were seated probably in Ohio.

We were so far away.

So it like watching two little sticks

perform.

But when you watch the big screen, I guess you could see them perform.

But

Billy Joel's got a fucking lot of hits.

Every song he plays was recognizable.

Yeah, yeah.

It's stunning because I wasn't that versed to my Billy Joel, but like

a man can play for two hours and play a song that's recognizable.

Not many artists can do that.

Yeah, I've seen him in Madison Square Garden a few times, and it's like, you're right, it's like hit after hit.

And some nights you go and it's not even the same songs, And you're like, oh, this guy could just fill it.

And you know how big a fan Jeff is of Stevie Nicks.

Oh, is he?

Yeah.

A massive Stevie Nicks fan.

He was a love author when he was in high school.

I understand.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I didn't know he was.

Oh, yeah.

He was like, you know.

Gypsy?

Who was that dude that was stalking Jody Foster?

Oh, dude.

He was just one step

below that.

He was all in on Stevie Nick.

So he was like, how is Stevie Nicks?

And I was like, should I tell him him that

you know she does like she wasn't as as up to par as Billy Joel or should I just be like she was awesome well I know what you should do

I'm guessing it's not what you did though I was honest I was like you know she you know for her age I said she did great and he fucking defended her like I'm fucking mother lioness of like he was but what you said was nice well right but he and he's like you definitely better than Billy Joel's voice I was like if I'm being honest though I thought Billy Joel's voice is better at this point.

Little Children is the name of that movie.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

And yeah, check that movie.

Yeah, that's a fucked up movie.

Oh, that's where he's jerking off in the car, too.

That was filmed on Staten Island.

Was it?

Yeah.

That is a bizarre movie, man.

Yeah, it's good.

It's a really good movie.

Yeah.

And we went to the Mall of America.

It looks a lot like the American Dream Mall.

Yeah.

Have you been there to Mall of America?

I've been there, yeah.

We've gone on tour a few times.

Yeah, I told you when you went.

It's just a mall.

It doesn't really feel.

But American Dream, you're right.

It's the same and American Dream is only an hour away from me yeah bless because I just drove from there we shot there all day today why didn't you grab me and pull me aside harder and tell me that well because the second I opened my mouth you just started ripping on me about it telling me I don't know what I'm talking about

so I just thought you know go enjoy the fucking mall of America

I never ever said that

was you know I don't know how long these balls are going to be around and I want to make see it before it closes and you were like definitely I could see that.

You know, we were like, Hey, but you know that the American dream is exactly the same thing.

I think I tried to toe you out of it by saying it's just the mall, don't go.

But, uh, all right, all right, did you buy anything?

Uh, I brought a t-shirt at the Hall of Fame, and I brought a hoodie at the Mall of America.

But we, we had to travel like um gypsies.

Was that a bad,

I shouldn't say that?

Don't say Romani.

Yeah, I was I was told by gypsies to use the term gypsies, so okay, you know, yeah, we didn't have a lot of room to that's why you're defending those lucky charms.

You got a lucky charm around your neck,

popping out.

Yeah, some lady gave me this one.

I was delivering mails.

Oh, yeah, yeah, so I don't know.

I thought it was weird.

She came out of nowhere and gave it to me, so I thought it was a sign.

Could be, sure.

But that was it, though.

That was the trip.

We saw Mary Tyler Moore statue.

Oh, yeah, so the Mary Tyler Moore.

Oh, yeah.

I don't remember if I've seen it.

I didn't think it would be that impactful, but

it really was.

Like once we got there, I was just kind of like, I was like, man, we really are taking a far out-of-the-way jaunt for this statue.

But then when I walked up on it and I saw it, and I was like, and it's right at the corner where she throws the hat up in the air,

and you could look

in the walkway and see where she might have stood and did, and threw the hat up.

That's some powerful shit.

Well, what feelings does it like, what does it bring up?

I used to watch that show with my mom every Saturday night.

Oh, Oh, without fail.

That was her show, and we'd watch it together.

And

yeah, that show gives me

especially that song, Love is All Around.

There's no need to fake it.

You're going to make it.

Yeah, that song gives me good,

sunny vibes when I hear that song.

So it was, yeah, that's that was cool.

Were there any spots on it that were inappropriately rubbed down?

No,

I've seen some statues that have been violated.

Yeah, but I think that if Minnesota doesn't have an armed guard on 24-7,

then they're not they're

negligent by not doing that.

But yeah, that's it.

It was awesome, though.

Good-looking statue.

And it was so fucked up, I blew the fucking party away.

We're walking back to the car, and we're just walking by a building, and I was like, man, that building looks like the exterior of where she worked.

And then Frank Googled it, and he goes, holy fuck, it is the exterior where she worked.

And I was just like,

daddy.

When we got back in the car, I couldn't stop talking about it.

I fucking called that building.

Nobody even had to point it out to me.

He says, he must have crushed some major puss.

Broke that's already in headboy that night.

We went down to Orlando, Q and I.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Although, Q, I have to say, he abbreviated his trip without telling me.

I did tell you.

I texted you.

No, you told me you were going to come a day late, but you didn't tell me you were leaving a day early.

Well, I was always leaving Sunday.

No,

a while back, I said, what are your dates?

And you gave me the dates.

And then

on Saturday night, you were like, yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow morning.

I was like, oh, fuck.

I would have skipped out a day early, too.

No, it was too late by then.

I couldn't change a flight anymore.

So, what'd you do when you were alone?

No, no, Marybeth went.

So, why don't you?

Yeah, so

what's the horn then?

You're in Orlando.

Yeah, it's 95 fucking degrees out.

Fucking 100% humidity.

Yeah, it's pretty hot.

From where we are,

it was about a 15-minute walk to a Wawa, and like I was really thirsty, but I'm like, I'm not going to take the walk.

I just, I don't want to take the walk.

It's too much.

You don't have any liquidity.

No, they do.

It was all Pepsi products, though.

Yeah, I kind of like Pepsi stuff.

We did Space Monkeys.

Yeah.

And I thought it turned out pretty well.

Yeah.

And

according to

what people said, they enjoyed it.

I'm not surprised.

They always give the people what they want.

Saw Tiffany perform.

That's wild.

It was listed as

9 o'clock to 10.30.

So I was like, all right, an hour and a half of Tiffany.

I don't really need that much.

There's really one song I want to hear.

I think we're alone now.

Yeah.

So

we went, Mary Beth and I went down there about like 25 minutes into the show, and she sang, she finished up one song.

Wait, you weren't afraid that she might open with it?

No, I didn't think so.

That would have been a mistake on her part, I think.

Because where did she go from there?

But we went down there and she finished up one song, she sang another song, and then she sang that one.

And it was really only like a 45-minute set.

So we got there pretty much just in time to catch

what we wanted to sing.

Did she bring in the house down?

People were digging it.

People dug it.

But strangely, like, it was really weird.

Like,

after she was done, she went out into this little area.

It's like a hallway where, you know.

like the entrance to the banquet.

The way it was set up was the way Jiggy set it up.

What are we talking about?

Yeah, maybe we should.

Let me back it up.

Jiggy does something called Taste Funny every year.

Well, for the past four years, it's like a food comedy festival in Orlando.

Food comedy festival.

He has comedians there.

He does stuff where he cooks and shit, and they have like games and a disco night and themes and family dinners and all kinds of stuff.

And it's, it was what he did that I thought was genius was it was all in the one hotel.

Like you didn't have to go anywhere.

Like we didn't have to go anywhere to do Space Monkeys.

We just walked downstairs and

well, Q had to because he stayed in a separate hotel because he's fancy.

Does I'm fancy?

He's fancy.

No.

I'm fancy.

He's too fancy.

I'm sure it was just an overbooking.

I don't know.

I didn't book the hotel.

They just took me to a hotel.

But he was right next door.

Yeah, I think that they just didn't want me staying in the hotel with all the

peeps.

All the peeps.

But I didn't ask them.

Well, it's tough for you.

I mean, look, let's be 100% honest about it.

Like, you can't stop and talk to every fucking person when you're trying to walk from your room to the car to go get something to eat.

you know, and that's going to happen to you.

Yeah, that happens.

Yeah.

But yeah, but I didn't ask him to.

He just did it because, you know.

Yeah, but it was a well-oiled machine.

It did.

Oh, fuck it.

Everybody seemed to have a great time.

It's like if you take the hardcore cruise people and then you distill them down into the hardest of the hardest core, that's these people.

Yeah, like I recognized every single person that I saw.

Yeah, like everybody's recognizable pretty much.

Oh, nice.

And they all started watching when Jiggy, during the pandemic, because Jiggy went on Zoom and was doing cooking shows and comedy and stuff like that.

So they all got into it at that point.

So this is something they've been into for like a couple of years now.

Yeah.

This is the fourth one.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah, I think it was happy.

I think it was happy.

Yeah, it was funny because Tiffany was supposed to be on Space Monkeys, and then I think we lost her somewhere around the time we found out that my feet were being raided online by sex freaks.

There's a whole website called WikiFeet that just

puts up photos and rates people's feet.

And somebody in the audience brought it up that I'm on WikiFeet, and there are hundreds of photos of my feet.

It is fucking insane.

From IJ?

IJ, this, that, the other thing.

Yeah, and like, and there's reviews.

And how do you rate as far as pretty fucking high?

Very high.

Very high.

They called his feet meaty.

Meaty.

Meaty and fat.

Is that good?

Apparently so.

See, when I think of meaty and fat feet, I think Fred Flintstone.

That's what I said.

on stage.

Oh, get him on.

No, get him on the no.

It's like another plane of existence.

Like, fucking, that's a different species.

Yeah.

And then we got into that.

And then, you know, that segues into this and to that and to that.

And by the time we asked for Tiffany, I think she snuck out the fucking back door.

I think so, yeah, because it seemed like she was going to come on.

And then we were talking.

I had this story I wanted to read.

a message from OnlyFans that was like really vile and disgusting.

And I'm not sure if she caught wind that I was going to talk about it.

Well, how did she know?

What's up?

How would she know you were going to read it?

Because I warned people several times.

Oh, okay.

So, Q, if the reviews weren't that kind, would it bother you?

It wouldn't bother me because when they told me that I had this thing,

I was sitting there going, Well, I can't have a high rating.

I have giant

hairy hobbit feet.

I was like, nobody's going to give me good ratings, but apparently, thick, meaty feet are what are what people are looking for.

Really?

What kind of feet aren't people looking for?

I'm afraid mine might be those.

I guess it depends.

I think that there's like your feet would be somebody's cup of tea.

There are so many people out there.

Yeah.

Like, because there are, like, Paris Hilton has like a size 13-foot or something crazy like that.

People are still into her feet.

For a long time, I was wearing the wrong size sneakers for like 15 years of my life.

Too high or too much.

Just like a fucking Chinese child with his feet bound.

So I really fucked up, like, during the growth years.

So it really.

So I really, it really did your feet it did a job on my toes

well you never know bro you never know wow there really are a lot of shots at those feet

um but then we were saying like maybe i should start a feet only fans why not but then brian suggested that uh it looks like uh looks like my career is on the down

it could look like it was on the down tick if yeah but if you wait till till the other side when they when you're like you know what i need some extra cash now then you got to strike while you're at your feet yeah while my feet iron are hot.

Yeah.

And you could, I mean, technically, you could advertise during the show.

Like, you know, you could go barefoot in some things for whatever reason.

I mean, obviously you're doing it here.

You're wearing sandals and stuff.

So you could keep it going.

How much do you think you could earn?

If it was.

$10 a month.

If it was

$10,000 a month?

No, $10.

No, let's say $4.99 a month.

You don't want to.

$4.99?

Yeah,

you think $9.99 is

$10,000 a month, though.

from all these subscribers.

Really?

Absolutely.

For that, for the toes, for the little piggies, yeah, but eventually you're gonna have to up your game, just like you know, how there's like some

you know, porn stars, like, well, only do women, yeah, you know, you know, and then eventually, you know, there's like 30 guys.

Suddenly, my toes are like

scissoring some

black guys toe,

like, oh, it's interracial foot-on-foot action, and then it's scissoring a whole lot other areas, too, probably.

Depends on how much I'm making.

10 grand a month, that's worth it.

And then it's not even toes anymore, it's just in your mouth.

So I'm just sucking that broad.

I'm like, I tried to warn you.

Shit, that only took a month.

Why didn't you warn me?

You didn't tell me about the mall, did you?

I thought you knew.

So what did you do for 4th of July?

Dude, I ended up doing nothing.

I ended up sitting in my yard.

Well, my parent.

I ended up going to my parents the night before, got home late, and then watched Staten Island blow itself up.

Just kind of chilled out in my yard.

Didn't really do anything.

Brian went to a picnic.

Oh, it was partied.

Yeah.

Brian Rupert.

Brian Rupert.

How did it go?

Excellent.

It was a very elegant evening or afternoon.

I will say, though, like again, though, I'm not on Team Gidem because he was there and he didn't talk to me.

He was holding court with all the other people.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Complete strangers.

He's telling stories left and right.

He's the king of Gab.

And then, and I'm sitting on my phone for about a half hour, not talking to anybody.

And then Brian came.

And then as soon as Brian came, then Giddam came over.

Then he graced us with his presence.

Otherwise, he was all about Rupp's friends.

Wow.

You've got big tons.

Well, I mean, it's happened before.

You guys have done it to me before on the road.

Remember,

years ago, like you guys would just pile around together.

And that's why remember I want to get a fourth on TSD tryouts.

And Debbie's like, well, maybe that is because of you then, if that keeps happening over and over again.

He's like, I don't know.

Your wife's always there with a wise word for you.

And I was like, you think so?

She goes, no, it's probably them.

They're jerk-offs.

They're jerk-offs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And all of a sudden, he was like, oh, then he found some topics he was willing to talk about with me and Brian.

Otherwise,

he couldn't pull himself away from Rupp's friends that he fucking met once, if at all.

Wow.

Were they aunts?

Did they know who he was?

They don't know.

So he was just making friends.

At the expense of me?

Well, you know, you have a family.

He's got nothing.

I mean, I think he should.

Yeah, but like, come on.

I rarely ever go out.

I was,

well, I'll attest to it.

I was stunned.

I was like, no way when I saw him there.

I couldn't believe it.

Because I was on the fence because I'm like, ah, Fourth of July traffic, blah, blah, blah.

But I'm like, you know, it's Hazlitt.

It's not that far.

It's not that.

I can take back roads or whatever.

So when I got there, I didn't see Walt's car out front, but I went back and there he was.

I was shocked, pleasantly shocked.

What was I doing when you came?

It's on my phone.

What's up?

It's just on my phone.

Just like, well, I wish somebody had someone to talk to.

Yeah.

Let's get it.

I'll get him to talk.

What about Rub?

You're going to talk to Rubber.

Well, he was busy frying up

frying, barbecue and

burgers, and dogs, and corn dogs, and all sorts of food and everything.

I couldn't go like, hey, can you talk to me?

Make your friends talk to me.

Wow.

One of Rupp's friends said something really, I didn't talk to him for the rest.

I didn't actually talk to any of them for the rest of the party.

I wasn't offended, but I was taken aback.

I went up there to

just get a plate and a napkin.

And one of the guys looks at me and he goes, you know, you look like you got a big dick.

And I heard that.

Who was that?

Some guy.

It was just some guy.

It was just like one of Rupp's friends.

You heard him say that?

I heard him say it.

And at that point, I said to myself, I fucking fucking wiped the flop sweat off my forehead.

I was like, boy, I'm glad my wife didn't come to this.

She might have had a wise word.

Because it was so weird and so out of place, and so like

bizarre that

I would have had a hard time being like, why would he say, like trying to explain why a stranger said that?

Well, all of a sudden, now I know I would be in the crosshairs.

Like, why did he say that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's your fault.

But I mean, did you, did you ever, did it, did it hit, did you feel bad that he didn't say it to you?

Why?

Because why you think he didn't think I did?

He's telling people that he thinks.

Yeah.

Maybe that's why you were so alone.

Maybe next Fourth of July, I'll put a sweat sock down there.

Just keep hanging around, idling.

I wasn't annoyed or irked.

I just thought it was weird.

It is weird, yeah.

It is weird, yeah.

Maybe they were having a conversation about big membership.

Perhaps, yeah.

I don't know why he approached me.

I mean, I've only had a few barbecues in my life, maybe one.

And maybe that is barbecue etiquette.

Maybe how do I know?

Maybe that is something.

Maybe something's obviously because there's hot dogs, there's phallus foods around.

Maybe you've had more.

You've had a lot of barbecues.

I don't remember ever having this conversation.

I was going to rough's house.

I don't know what kind of party it was after that.

Yeah, because

I was going to invite

my mom and her boyfriend over for a July 5th barbecue, and I was going to be like, so Joe.

And he looked to me,

but his face just like turns white.

If I were at that barbecue, I would immediately put a cold compress on his head and help him lie down.

I'd be like, This isn't the waltz I know.

Yeah,

something's gone tragically wrong.

Overall, though, it was a very

nice afternoon.

And

yeah, it was nice.

It was sweet.

Nice.

It was hot, though.

You know, I As you know, you're in the house.

Yeah, it was hot.

It poured like around 11 o'clock on Saturday.

I didn't like wrath of God rain.

So heavy.

So it kind of put a damper on it.

But it was hot.

Yeah.

It was hot.

You know what else is hot?

Tell me.

Myondi's.

Miandi's is hot, but so is Blue Chew.

Blue Chew.

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Oh, did you?

You took off?

I could see the plane.

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Yeah, I will say this.

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Did he?

Flew me on the way back, coach.

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Because he knew because he didn't want to hear it.

Like on the way back, he's like, what are you going to do now?

He's like,

it felt a little bit like,

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I got some extra leg room out of it.

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And we got two more, but I'm not going to do four in a row.

That's a little bit too much.

That's too much.

I got season 11 of Impractical Jokers premiering this week.

Do you?

Yes, season 11.

Once again, if any ants out there have that Nielsen box.

Oh, I was wondering.

I actually wrote it in my notes.

If you found out that I had a Nielsen box, but I didn't watch IJ.

Yeah.

Would you feel hurt?

I would.

Would you?

Not hurt.

Even this late in the game, when it doesn't really matter that much.

It doesn't really matter anymore.

But I wouldn't be hurt, but I would be like, it's such an easy way to do me a solid, bro.

Why wouldn't you take it?

I don't understand.

But hurt's not the right word.

No.

Disappointed?

No, I would just be like, I would say it to you.

I wouldn't like to say it.

I'd be like, you can't fucking just program it to watch it for me, dude.

Because isn't each Nielsen like 30,000 people?

Yeah, it counts for a lot of people.

That's a lot lot of hungry people

that could be watching if you would just get your act together for me.

Just

for the hour.

Just do it for the hour.

Yeah.

So any ants out there,

we already signed for season 12, so there'll be a season 12.

Whether there's any more after that or not, who the hell knows?

But would love to

go out on top if we do go out, you know?

So please, Nielsen.

That's the best way to go out.

You go out on top.

Yeah.

It's been a while since we asked for something.

Yeah, we never asked for anything.

I'm not really into.

Oh,

do you ever do what they call raw dogging on flights?

No, but go on.

I'm interested.

It's this weird practice where people don't do anything on a flight.

They sit there and wait.

You don't read.

You don't listen to anything.

You don't watch

TV.

You don't sleep.

You just sit there and you wait.

And there's like the group of, I mean, there's people that do it from, you know, as little as like, you know, an hour flight.

Somebody was like, just raw dog to 14 hour flight i was reading this and i was like my god like takes some discipline it really does or just like i mean what do you think about for 14 straight hours

probably a lot of different things yeah

i never did it though i i can't do it i need the you know some sort of distraction i mean the orlando flight was only two hours and it still felt like 10.

Yeah.

You know, the goddamn jet blue, man.

Like, normally they're good, but this plane was hot.

Yeah, I think there there was just no way to keep up because

I was on United and it was like

it's just when it's 100 degrees outside, there's only so much, you know, the plane going.

I was raw dogging it on the way back from Minnesota because it was an 18-hour drive back.

Yeah, we had to do it in two days.

You refused to talk to Frank.

Raw dogging, bro.

No, my wife was like, don't fall asleep.

It's so rude if you fall asleep.

And I was like, okay, I won't fall asleep.

And at a certain point, I was dreaming while my eyes were open.

Like, I know

I was up.

I mean, my eyes were open, but I was dreaming and I wasn't in the car.

And finally, my head just went down, and I was sleeping.

Were you driving?

No, no, no, no.

I wasn't driving.

Why'd you have to get back?

Frank had to go to work?

Frank had some appointments that he had to get back for.

And yeah.

No, are they all driving because you don't fly or are they all inclined to drive?

They don't like to fly either.

Okay.

Yeah, they haven't been on a flight in quite some time either.

They're not flyers and

they're not comfortable with flying either.

They might if they

will do it because Frank said he was going to go to Key West at one point and they fly in there, I believe.

But yeah, I think it's uncommon.

You're right.

Now we miss Key West.

Yeah.

Fuck, it must have been hot down there, though.

Was that hot in Orlando?

I can't fucking imagine.

It's horrible.

We almost went to SeaWorld on Sunday and I looked at the weather and I was like, I can't do it.

It's just, it's like, it's 95 fucking degrees out, man.

Like, I don't understand how these people do it.

And you see, it's funny, like, when you're, when you're on your way to Orlando, everybody's chipper and upbeat and fucking psyched and shit.

And then, like, when you're on your way back to Jersey, it's like the parents look like, they're like, I wish I never had kids.

Yeah.

Why the fuck did I have kids?

Yeah.

Don't blame them.

It looks horrible.

Walt, I know I'm not normally into sports, but this caught my eye.

Bill Belichick.

Oh, and his young gal.

Whoa, what's 23?

What?

Good for him.

Yeah, and he's 72.

Whoa.

Well, she's an intelligent young lady.

She's an adult.

And

it's not my place to question a woman's decision.

She can do what she wants.

She can do whatever she wants.

She's strong.

Young woman.

Good for him.

You have to give her her.

Good for her.

Yeah, more good.

She landed the best coach of all time.

Sure.

Good for her.

Good for her.

Here's a picture of him.

I mean.

Whoa, she's pretty.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, she is.

You think Belichick's going to go out with

Bowser?

I think that, no, I don't think he'd go out with a Bowser, but I do think your standards probably go down a little bit when you hit 72.

You know what I mean?

Not when you're Belichick.

Not when you're Belichick.

You know, they've said that he is a certifiable genius.

Really?

Yeah.

Who said that?

All the sports writers and all the sportscasters.

Yeah.

Wow.

Does he is that just the final, like, you know,

not the nail in the coffin, but the final piece to be like, yeah, he's a genius.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the first thing he's ever done that I'm really impressed with.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Now, my question is: if I don't already,

at what point do I start looking that ridiculous with a young wife?

That's past.

It's past already.

I know at some point, I mean, I was like, no,

that's really extreme.

That looks like grandpa.

Yeah, that looks like grandpa.

And he could be a grandfather.

What do they talk about, Q?

What is it?

Well, she's a cheerleader.

She's a cheerleader for the team, right?

Um, no, not for that team, I think she was a former cheerleader.

Uh, well, she's a football fan, maybe it's what they talk about.

Okay, so wait a second.

You know how intimidating it would be, yeah,

for a football fan to talk to Bill Belichick about football because you know you're going to sound like an idiot.

Look at those fucking tights she's wearing.

You think he gives a fuck?

He's like, Yeah, what about her?

She goes fourth and down, he's like, Yep, baby, fourth and down,

She's wearing that?

It is a kid.

You don't think he's just kind of like, he's just like, he quietly tries to like go to, I'm going to have to use the men's rooms, men's room, and makes the exit, the Irish exit out.

So he has to have to talk to her the rest of the night.

I do not believe that's the case, actually.

She says something stupid about football.

That's 23.

She's probably saying stupid shit about life.

I was going to say, like, I came in today and I had just read something about this.

this tall guy on the Rangers, and I like mentioned it in passing and was immediately cowed.

Immediately been like, shut up, stupid.

You don't know anything.

So imagine her.

Imagine her like trying to like so afraid, walking on eggshells to talk about football with Belichick.

Right.

Because the man has more football knowledge in his, in this fingernail clippings than she has in her entire body.

Yeah.

That has got to be so intimidating.

And then she's got to go to bed with him after like maybe fucking up the entire evening if she, if he, if he's out with his friends and she says something stupid about football.

Yeah.

He's like, oh,

I apologize.

I don't think anybody's thinking about her football knowledge.

No one, including Belichick.

He just wants to know if she's on a period or not.

The only question he has for her.

If not, it's Gojob Week.

Oh my God.

You know she's worn those

Oh, his Super Bowl rings?

Oh, without a doubt.

The first move he made was like, you want to try them on, baby?

I would be so disappointed.

How many does he have?

He allowed her to wear the rings.

She doesn't deserve to wear the rings yet.

Does

what she's doing?

Come on.

Come on.

72.

But you got Blue Chew?

He must, right?

He's got Blue Chew.

And look, he's a genius and all, but he's also not the most well-preserved 72 I've ever seen, you know?

No, you've seen some.

I saw Kevin Bacon who's about to turn or just turn 70.

Yeah, this is a guy that does not look like yeah, yeah.

I just saw him in the new Beverly Hills Cop.

Yeah, he doesn't look 70, basically.

Did you see it?

Did you watch it?

No, I didn't watch it.

It's pretty fucking good.

That's what you were saying.

It was way better.

Any interest in the

Axel Foley, right?

Yeah, Axel Foley.

Was it Netflix?

Netflix.

I haven't seen it.

I've been watching it though, but I didn't even know there was one.

Yeah, it just came out last week.

Dude, it is.

How come it didn't get a theatrical release?

I think because Netflix was like, well, they made the movie.

So they're not going to do it in the release in the theater.

They could have, though.

I think it would have made a lot of money.

It's really funny.

And it's nice to see Walt, Axel Foley, catching up with him at 63 years old.

Yeah, he's got problems, but he's happy.

He's doing what he loves.

He's not depressed.

Life hasn't fucking kicked him around.

He's not on a planet fucking talking to no one, drinking blue milk.

He's not like Indiana Jones fucking wishing he was dead.

Like

he was still Axel Foley, and he had some lessons to learn.

He didn't estrange daughter,

but he learned his lessons.

There you go.

And it was like, holy fuck, people remember how to make fun movies.

And well, like, I tell you, I tell you, you know what?

You know what lesson I learned watching the new Beverly Hills cop?

You can't go home again?

Zero lessons.

Oh, I learned nothing.

They didn't try and fucking make me see anything, anybody's point of view.

All they did was make a fun fucking movie with characters that you like.

No lessons.

it wasn't there just one teeny lesson it wasn't a single lesson it wasn't a single lesson they didn't want to teach me anything it was

saying there might have been a lesson what was the lesson

wasn't it uh parents should be parents and children should be oh that's not it though that that was axel's ride man that that wasn't a lesson uh

yeah i i it was like dude i i watched a movie i didn't feel judged at all it was lovely dude there's there's nothing better than than watching a tv show or a movie or reading a book or an article or anything and not getting a lesson.

And just enjoying it.

Just enjoying it.

Joying yourself.

When did that sort of like peter out?

Like Stephen King is one of the worst offenders.

I can't even read his shit.

All I know is that I've made this TV show for 14 years and we've strived.

to never have a lesson that's taught at all.

And I think we've, I think we've, you might walk away from a practical joker dumber than when you started launching.

And that's a fucking promise.

But I heartily endorse

the New Beverly Hills Cup.

Not perfect.

You got to overlook some, you know.

Still rocking the Detroit Lions stuff.

Oh, you know it, buddy.

Everything that you want to see, you're going to see.

You're going to see.

It's great.

It's great.

Like every song from the first two movies is in the first 10 minutes.

They want you.

They're like, welcome home.

You remember the Neutron dance?

Here it is.

Shake down, anyone?

Here it is.

Here it is.

The heat is on.

You got it.

Yeah, yeah, it was really fun.

So I endorse it.

Good job, Netflix.

Thank you.

Good job, Netflix.

More sports talk, the Oilers lady who flashed.

Remember her?

They found her.

And she got a deal with Playboy,

which I think is just online now.

Yeah,

I'm sure that

15 minutes is really coming close to the end.

Well, how are the Oilers doing?

they lost the Seleni Cup final.

Oh, did they?

Yeah, so her.

If it's not over already, I'm sure it's absolutely, the clock is ticking

furiously close to it.

There she is flashing.

Okay.

There she is just with her hat on.

Wait, that first photo was from the Playboy spread?

First photo is from the Playboy spread, yeah.

And it's just her white wife

Peter and some

skates she's lacing up.

Yeah, nice work.

Yeah.

Good for her.

She took advantage of it while the heat was on at its maximum.

You're right.

You're right.

I got to get those feet out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You could be putting on skates.

Yeah.

Yeah.

With your bare feet.

But like, I'll do, they'll be like sandal skates so you can see the topography of your nips popping through the shirt, giving the double middle fingers.

Oh, yeah.

What's with the bag?

Let me see that.

Wait, wait, let me see.

Why so angry?

I don't know.

It is kind of aggressive, isn't it?

Yeah, who should give it a finger to?

Hopefully me.

What's up?

Fuck you, because that's the way I like it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't say anything nice to me at all.

Yeah, yeah.

Tell me I suck.

Speaking of viral sensations, Walter, are you familiar with the Hoctua girl?

I just learned about that.

You mentioned that at the barbecue.

The Hoctua girl?

Yeah.

Oh, you just found out about it, Carolyn?

I just found out about this, yeah.

She has a deal with UTA.

Does she really?

Yes.

Now,

I'm really torn on this.

Okay.

Because on one hand, I'm like, good for her.

Sure.

Like,

she seems to have a good personality.

She's very big, you know.

She got plucked out of obscurity.

It's not the first time it's ever happened to somebody.

Yeah.

But at the same time, I can only think of people who fucking go crazy, like writing and working and doing anything they can to get a manager

or an agent.

Yeah.

And all they have to do.

Oh, she may be getting her own reality TV series soon.

Oh, wow.

Get them pulled that up.

And they're like, hawk to her.

That's all it took.

Now, if you don't know who we're talking about, and I'm fucking be really surprised if you didn't, there was a man on the street interview and they were asking questions about like sex and shit.

And he asked this girl what her finishing move was or what her best move was in the bedroom.

And

the one girl that he asked originally was very like mousy and didn't say it was her friend, the Hawktua girl's friend.

And he asked the question again, but to the Hawktua girl, and she goes, oh, you just got to

Hawktua and spit on that fang, she goes, and laughing like crazy.

And that's all it took.

Yeah.

But on any other given day, it might not have happened.

It just happened to be at the exact moment where the internet took notice.

Yes.

If it was a day before or the day after, it probably is an obscure thing that nobody ever sees.

It's just so random.

But like, how do you get a reality show off that?

Is it that they met her and they're like, okay, this girl is more than Hawktua.

I'm sure.

sure.

Wasn't her father like a preacher or something like that?

No, she said he wasn't.

Oh, he wasn't.

Yeah.

She said he's not.

They got to move to production quick

because by next week,

she might not be remembered at all.

Yeah.

Good for her, man.

What are you going to do?

Good for her?

Yeah, why not?

There you have it.

You got to wonder, like, why is it, why?

It is a good question.

Why did that take over the world?

Oh, my God.

Get him just showed me that.

If you want to book her for your event in Ohio, it's 30K.

Why?

Go there and get her.

I don't know to be the tour girl, I guess.

Yeah,

that is, she's putting herself.

I'm I'd love to hear what her experience is like.

Because what conversations are you having?

Well, isn't this the Bill Belichick thing all over again?

No, not at all.

Why?

What conversations is he having?

Like, you know,

the conversations are completely beside the point for Bill Belichick.

I think

I think it's getting like one

bite of that

firm little apple before you die.

His ex was for it, though.

She said that she wasn't against the, even with the age difference.

She's 64, the ex.

What is she going to say?

She doesn't want to sound like a bitter Carla.

Bitter old lady.

Jealous.

Bitter.

I mean, I don't think anybody would take her to task if she were like, look, he looks kind of foolish.

You know, everybody's saying.

Yeah.

But she's classy, though.

Yeah.

Like the Huck Tua girl.

Yeah, good for her, man.

Because who even fucking knows what's going to hit and not hit anymore?

So if you have that,

she should strike.

I think she should.

Just like WikiFeet.

She's got to strike while that iron's hot.

Let's do it.

We live in this era now where it's like everybody has got their own TV channel and shit like that.

So it's like, if you have an opportunity to make some money off it, go for it.

That's what I say.

Sounds like she's got good advice.

And I, wait, I think I'm you, T.A.

Are you?

Yeah.

Look at you.

You and Hoctua.

That's all it took.

They're probably treating her better than they're treating me.

They are, right?

They are.

Hold on one minute.

All they do is fucking force me to go to work for another year.

What are they doing with this girl?

Let's see here.

All right.

I warned everybody.

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Back to the show.

Back to the show.

Oh, I felt really old the other day.

I was at Chili's with Mary Beth, and they have TV screens up there, and I saw

an ad for hair replacement, like

thinning hair and hair replacement.

And it was Frankie Munez doing the ad.

Malcolm.

Why does he have to do that?

I guess he's losing his hair.

No, but why does he have to do those commercials?

Oh, but

you would think, I don't know, Fatone does all that kind of stuff, too.

And

he's all right.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe, I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, if somebody says, you know, they come up to you, maybe after, after, you know, IJ, you know, they come up to you and they're like, hey, we're going to give you this obscene amount of money for this commercial.

Yeah.

You might be like, fuck yeah, why not?

I'll do it.

I like obscene amounts of money.

Probably, right?

Yeah.

But god damn it.

I'm just surprised he

has a number that they could that they could reach.

Because of, because, wasn't that show like a mega hit for years?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Started re-watching it.

It's okay.

Oh, I remember the father being on a being fucking.

The father's on top.

Yeah, the mop's pretty good, too.

The mop's pretty good, too.

Did you watch Malcolm the Moon?

Yeah, yeah, it was good.

I enjoyed it.

I'm just surprised that he's like, yeah, and he had the money enough to, or you guys could pay me enough.

Yeah.

You see all kinds of weird people on commercials.

Like, Shaq is on every commercial.

Shaq,

I learned something interesting about him, is he essentially cold calls brands and is like,

I want to be your spokesman.

Oh, yeah.

And then they're like, all right, that's where I got a deal.

That's why he does so many commercials because

he loves it.

It's his favorite job, is what I was told, is being a spokesperson.

So who knows?

Nobody would ever pay me to be a spokesperson.

You don't think so?

I don't think so.

I don't know.

Who wouldn't want?

What about those four ads we just did today?

No, I mean,

you know, anybody with a podcast to get that.

I mean, like, the face of a company.

I think, yeah, I think it's just a matter of time.

No, I don't think so.

Maybe if I start losing my hair.

Yeah, if you start losing your hair, then you can bump Frank Amunez out of the box.

Yeah, I could take that.

Ziva K.

Fox, she's another one I saw doing like for like a car repair commercials.

I'm like, this is an actress.

She's a good actress.

I don't understand.

Hey, you know what it is?

What do I know?

It's just money, dude.

It's just money.

It's fucking money.

That's all it is.

There's a number.

There's a fucking number that you'll see me up there being like,

hey, man, but I don't think anybody would ever give me that number.

Well, you won't do it for 10 grand a month for Wikifeet.

Well, I didn't know I can get 10 grand a month for that.

There has to be a way to position that

so it seems like I'm joking, but the money's very real.

But the money is

right.

Yeah.

Money's right and tight.

Yeah.

You okay?

Well, yeah.

All right.

What happened over there?

With what?

You plummeted.

Yeah, it looked like you just

had the energy level just moved.

No, not at all.

No.

Looked like you were raw dogging again.

I got a little fat news.

We haven't had fat news in some time.

Oh, all right.

I don't understand much of the world.

NYC holds Fat Beach Day to create an accepting environment for plus-size community, a space for people to be themselves.

Now, I've gone to the beach.

I don't think I've ever been like, what's that fat person doing here?

Well, usually they would be saying that about me, but

I am overweight.

Like, I'm what they're talking about here.

Fat Beach Day events are appearing across the United States, aiming to create spaces for the plus-size community to gather.

We're going through something culturally that impacts us every day on an individual level and a systemic level.

People love using the word systemic.

They think it makes them sound smart.

We're really trying to open up a place for people to be themselves.

Now,

I just don't get it.

Underwood, a plus-size model in ours, had a history of being bullied for her weight since middle school.

This led her to start a blog at age 12 to document her experiences into fat activism.

Fativism.

Fativism, yeah.

Yeah.

And they're very excited that they're creating this space for folks with bigger bodies to have a good time.

I'm here to tell you, I don't give a fuck how fat you are.

If you go to the, just go to the beach.

It doesn't have to.

Everything doesn't.

I was, when I was on JetBlue, it had

an ad for Pride Month,

but specifically for disabled people.

So I'm like, so we're not, now we're categorizing not only straight and gay and whatever, you know, else comes with LGBT plus stuff,

but we're also saying disabled and gay.

Yeah.

I mean, like, why are we,

I thought the whole idea behind this world was everyone's supposed to be coming together, not like further dividing and subcategorizing.

When did you get that idea?

So why did you get that idea?

I think I'm off on that, huh?

Yeah.

I mean, there's only one end result for this constant breaking down of identity, and that's to further break down until you get to there.

But hey, man, you know what?

I'll tell you what, I'm here to support disabled pride, bud.

Yeah?

Hey, I'm here for it, man.

Yeah.

You know.

I have nothing against him.

But I'm like, why are you so special?

Why the fuck does everybody need to be so special all the time?

For Christ's sakes, chances are you're probably not special.

Many of us are not.

Everybody's special.

Walt called it fucking years ago.

Ants, goddamn it.

Ants.

Call him, Steve, Dave.