#602: Urban Rottweiler Jamboree

We just recently did a Patreon episode where I used uh two dildos.

Fuck you.

When I shit on somebody, you fucking open up those open up that fucking belt, rip those pants down, and start fucking defecating right where I'm at.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

Yes, I sit here with the great Walt Flanagan.

Hello.

And via StreamYard is BQ.

I'm StreamYard in this week, everyone.

Hello.

Yeah.

And we have a special guest in the studio.

No, it's not Giddem.

It is Frank Five.

Hello.

Hey, Frank.

How are you doing?

Good, thanks.

Frank was bored, so he drove all the way down here.

Yeah, I wish I had known he was coming in.

I would have braved the traffic to come down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, if he could drive five hours, I could do an hour and ten 10 in traffic.

You know?

I don't think you're bored, though, right?

It's not, yeah.

I got to get out of this month, man.

I got to get the fuck out of this month.

I got to get out of July.

I got to get out of July.

I can't take it.

Yeah, I got no time.

But we're good.

We're good.

Yeah, Walt asked a good question right before we started.

Giddam, who has been sprung from

podcast jail, has decided for the second week in a row not to set out a mic for himself.

And I'm not exactly sure why.

I think it's admirable.

Yeah.

I think it shows that he kind of like learned a lesson, you know, and he's like, you know, I can't just be willy-nilly tossing verbal garbage out there.

Like, he's going to be a little more judicious with his appearance.

He's got to bring it.

Yeah, I think so.

I think he feels like, hey, man, I got myself in trouble last time by being in like every second of the show.

Maybe I'll just chill back a little bit.

I think, I can't believe I'm saying this about anybody in this world today, but it seems like him learned a lesson.

It was pretty cool.

Speaking of learning lessons, one thing I want to talk about that I'm really,

I was reading an article about the Trump shooting, which is the biggest thing this week, of course.

Yeah.

And the number of radio,

regular radio stations who like didn't talk about it at all, who didn't bring it up, who didn't mention it, who didn't act as if a former president had been shot?

It's really strange, isn't it?

Like,

the way this whole, like, if somebody winged like Obama in the ear or Joe Biden in the ear, I think you'd see a lot more outcry.

But since it's Trump, there are people that are, that are, that go on and they're like, I'm glad.

I wish he had died.

Yeah, I mean, I, I, I think a lot.

I mean, that night we were backstage at a show.

We were in Atlantic City and, like,

everybody, it was, it was big news then.

Like, people were talking, it was all anybody could talk about, but I guess, you know,

it's weird.

It's weird to fucking

to not talk about it.

I don't get it.

You know, I mean, the guy was, I mean, if he had moved his head just a little bit more, he would have been blown away.

It's like, I don't understand how, like, people are not talking about it.

But then again, it's covered everywhere.

So what do you need fucking, you know, Z100 to talk about it for?

I guess so.

There were some talk shows that I was pretty surprised didn't really touch on it.

You know, just, you know, morning shows and shit.

But maybe that's not their, they're like, hey, like you say, everybody else is going to cover it.

Everybody else is going to talk about it.

So that would have been, though, like

JFK

plus level video.

Like if somebody had

been better because it would have been

4K, head-on, like full camera angle, straight on.

It would have been like...

It would have looked like scanners.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yep.

There is no shortage of like high-resolution shots that will be available of that if it had, if it had

hit its mark.

Right.

What do you,

now, obviously there are conspiracy theories surrounding it.

Like at first, you know, I was reading, I saw somebody post something about it on Instagram, and, you know, people are like, oh, it was staged.

It was staged.

It's like, I saw a video of them carrying that dead fireman off.

That shit was not staged.

Yeah.

I really like the whole world should take a lesson.

And

just before you tweet something,

just make sure you really want this out there.

Your level of stupidity.

Don't you want to ferret those people out there?

Don't you want to not warn them so that they can keep on doing what they're doing?

And it's like, okay, well, now you're done.

It seems like they stop.

It seems like, you know, just because they put something out there and it's stupid, even if it ends up getting disproved, they still continue to do it.

Yeah.

Did you hear, Q,

the reasoning from the head of Secret Service for not securing the rooftop, which the shot was taken from, was because

the rooftop was too sloped to have an agent up there cover it or for some reason.

And

I ask you as a guy who's done a lot of punishments on TV,

have you eyes have ever balked at like, well, you know what?

We would do this punishment, but this is at a very sloped angle.

We can't do it.

Well,

I'll even go back a little further than that to my firefighter days when I was on a lot of roofs, and I saw that roof, and that would not be any reason for concern.

Like, roofers across the country must have been like, bullshit.

Well, the guy, the sniper who took the shooter down was on a pretty sloped roof.

So I don't know if the sloped roof

excuse is going to hold much water.

Although, to somebody at this table, it did hold a lot of water water yesterday.

As Giddam told me, it was a valid reason to not have that roof covered, he said.

Because it was too sloped.

He agreed that with the head of the social, not social services, Secret Service,

that

putting someone up there was too dangerous for an agent to be up there.

What if somebody got injured, Gidem said?

Oh, what the fuck?

That's your job.

Your job is to throw yourself in front of a bullet.

And now you're afraid of a roof?

Yeah.

That's ridiculous, man.

Pretty high.

I mean, well, then how about stationing someone like at the base of the building so nobody could crawl up to the fucking roof?

Or

how about just an agent on all four sides of the building?

That would have done it.

I mean,

right?

That would have done it.

Anything.

The front, the back, and the two sides, just to make sure no one gets on that roof.

Yeah.

I mean, the alternative is like a 20-year-old kid outsmarted the fucking Secret Service.

And he was there for like, they said that they were watching him for an hour.

He's riding his bike around.

He's doing all kinds of shivery papers.

Yeah, he's doing all this stuff.

And they're like, well, he seems suspicious, but let's let Trump go on anyway and not keep an eye on him.

Well, I think it's also like the outrage that should be felt.

And the reason why people are so fucking frothing at the mouth is because an innocent man was blown away by their ineptitude.

Yeah.

It's absolutely

ridiculous that if someone doesn't pay a steep price for this Keystone cop effort, it cannot just be swept under the rug that people just go about and keep their careers when a man is fucking murdered

and it could have been prevented.

Right.

It should have been prevented.

Yeah.

Well, they were calling for the head of the Secret Service to step down, right?

Get him shaking his head.

No, he doesn't believe by that, right?

No one should pay a price.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Get him saying yes, he should pay a price.

Yeah.

Is there any credence to the Secret Service allowed it to go on?

The very fact that there's so much fuck-uppery is just going to fuel all those theories, all those conspiracies.

It will never die.

It'll be just as

it'll be bandied about for our lifetime that it was allowed to, the conspiracies, because of how

inept

the Secret Service was.

It's never going to go away.

You'll never, and I don't care how many commissions, Warrant Commissions, look at it.

I mean, all the Warren Commission, the 2024 Warrant Commission can say is, yeah, we fucked up so bad.

That's all anybody want to hear.

And these are the people who got fired for it.

And

if there isn't people losing careers and pensions for this,

I don't know what

I really don't know how anybody can just stomach that.

Giddam just passed me a note that said the reason she's not fired is because Joe Biden actually was her backer.

That's not true.

That's not true.

That's not why she's not fired.

I mean,

she should step down, though.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, how do you not?

The arrogance to not step down is fucking appalling.

Like an American citizen got shot on your watch.

More than one.

Like,

I know, but killed.

Yeah.

It's like, yeah, maybe you should step down.

I mean, why the fuck would you even want to stay?

Exactly.

Yeah.

How do you recover from this and

rebound to where you are not always remembered for this?

Yeah.

Under your watch.

I mean,

did you guys, I mean, hear the sound of fucking half the country getting boners, though, when he came up and like shook his fist in the air and was like, fight.

And you're like, I mean, we were watching it backstage, and it was like, oh, my God, Biden looks like a fucking reanimated corpse, like, shuffling around.

And this guy's like,

he just won the election.

Like, there's no way he doesn't win, right?

Like, that's.

Well, you heard it.

Like, you could hear him.

He's just like, let me get my shoes on.

Let me get my shoes on.

This is a guy who, like, who's like, he's put together.

He's not like Biden, who would like, wouldn't even know if he was wearing shoes or not.

Yeah.

Biden would get shot.

No blood would come out.

It would be osteopathic.

Like a balloon.

I think it is a level of

that you have to say, you can't not discount

the fact of of what he does after he gets shot, though, because I think most people would be in shock.

Most people wouldn't take the time to get up and try to make and pump their fists,

right?

I don't think, I don't think a lot of people, I think 99% of the, of the human beings, after getting shot and feeling it hit your ear, don't know how injured you are.

I don't know if their first inclination would be to stand up and raise their fist.

Because you don't know if there's more to come.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So

that is a human being who's built different.

Yeah.

Who's like, okay,

I'm going to make a moment right now.

That is.

Hate him or love him.

Not a lot of people are going to react the way he did

in the seconds after getting shot at.

Right.

You're going to be totally just, you know, a deer in the wilderness, right?

Or what's it called?

A deer in the headlights.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder if if he knew it was a bullet or if he thought it was like a hornet or something because, like, he smacks at his ear.

Oh, I think he knows.

And then I think he knows once everybody, like, he hears

those pew-pew sounds, and then everybody's on top of him.

That was something, man.

Like, once they finally got him up and he pumps his fist and then they hustle him off, like, the way they surround him and they're like doing this little shuffle to like to.

Well, why do they let him get back up?

They don't know if there's other shooters again.

Why is he allowed to get up and pump his fist?

It doesn't make any sense.

This is an almost 80-year-old man.

He can't outpower fucking 10 Secret Service agents.

Why is he allowed to get up, show his chest, show his fat fucking melon again for another person to take a shot at?

It doesn't make any sense on any level.

I don't care what anybody says.

Nothing he does make sense.

No.

Well,

how is he able to overpower the secret agent to get that to not be covered up?

It must be like he's the president.

He has the final word and he must have been like, let me up.

No way.

I don't believe he has the final word in that situation.

I don't believe protocol cannot be that the president can call you off.

Your job is to not let him get shot again.

Right.

And you allowed him to

show his chest and his head.

Yeah.

It was just so chaotic that they were just trying to get him out of the situation.

And he kind of.

Do you?

How hard would it be for you if you had 10 people on top of you to like try to get your head and chest out

to show camera again?

I don't know.

I don't think it's possible for it, especially a somewhat 80-year-old 80-year-old man trying to do it, right?

I mean, can anyone explain to me how he's able to get up

to that pot, that pile of human beings and show his head and chest again to the camera where anybody could take another shot again?

I don't know how it's possible, unless, like you say, that they were just not following protocols for whatever reason.

Yeah, but they couldn't, but like those agents that were standing in front of them, like

they could have gotten shot too if there were more.

So like, like, why would the CIA, you know what I mean?

They wouldn't put their own agents.

I'm not saying they did, but I'm saying why, but every

step of this whole

incident, I believe the Secret Service didn't follow any of the proper protocols that I from beginning to end.

From beginning to end, even to the end where they're trying to get usher him into the limousine or the, or whatever it is, they allowed him to stick his fucking fat head out again.

Right?

I mean, there's no doubt about it.

You can't show your head again because you're fucking, you don't know if there's other shooters.

Yeah.

And he doesn't know if there's other shooters.

Why is he sticking his head up?

Because he's just like, he probably heard like shooter down.

And then he's just like, fuck it then.

Like you say, I'm going to make this a moment.

Picture time.

Yeah.

Like, this is like, let's, this is making America great again, not fucking bowing down and not listening to fucking shooters.

I mean, this guy's, I read that this guy's nickname in school was literally school shooter.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, it's not a nickname you want.

It sounds like a lead to me.

I don't don't know.

Yeah, but the thing about Trump is, and I, and I think, because I've heard, it's all anybody's talking about, right?

And it's like, I've heard people who fucking hate Trump,

even they're like, that was pretty badass, man.

Like, I don't know, that's the thing about that guy.

Like, I don't, is it that he

knew enough in that moment to be like, I'm going to create?

a photo, an iconic photo, a moment, I'm going to do this.

Or is he just the type of guy, and this is why so many people love him.

That is like, no, fuck you.

Like, you know what I mean?

You shoot at me.

You know what I mean?

Like, there's a ballsiness to that where he's just like, whereas he's not thinking like this is going to look great on the front page.

He's literally like, fuck you.

You know what I mean?

And it's just like,

it could be that.

And that could also explain why so many people fucking love the guy because, I mean, that's pretty fucking, that's pretty badass.

But how can a man of his age overpower all those agents to get back up into position to even do that, raise that fist, start talking back into the mic.

I don't know.

I wouldn't even come back up.

It doesn't make any sense to me.

I wouldn't even come back up if they were throwing water balloons at me, like shooting guns.

Because there's a lot of human beings on top of him.

Yeah.

Yeah, like physically.

How did he

get to that?

They allowed him to.

And I don't know why they allowed him to.

Do you think it was so that they could get him into the car?

I mean, he's got to stand up.

But he's supposed to crouch down.

And they're supposed to not allow him to be seen.

So somebody else can, if there's somebody else to take a shot at him,

and they allowed him to be out in the open again.

Yeah, definitely not supposed to turn into a photo op.

Yeah, definitely not.

Did you see the supporters, Trump supporters, too?

They're wearing bandages on their ears now.

Tell me it didn't just look like a maxi pad.

Oh, it definitely did.

It was huge.

It was huge.

You bet I saw

Mark Hamill tweeted something about it.

It's like, oh, here he comes with a comically oversized bandage.

I'm like, what happened to Mark Hamill?

What happened to this fucking guy?

That bandage was.

It was big, but

moments after the guy gets shot, and he's a well-known Trump hater.

So it's just like, can you just back, like, just for a second?

I don't put it past him to be like, you know, it'll piss people off if I put a fucking gigantic oversized bandage on my ear.

Right.

It's like bigger.

Get fucking bigger.

Yeah, it's amazing, man.

You get shot in the ear and people are still like, dickhead.

Well, I mean, that doesn't change.

It doesn't change all the time.

It doesn't change history and

all his detractors are not going to be won over just because of that.

It would take a lot more than that to be like, oh, okay, I like the guy now.

You'd have to do something nice.

Yeah, you have to do something pretty major.

Catch the bullet in his teeth.

Rips off his shirt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But oh, fuck, man.

I mean, like, settle in, right?

I mean, there's no way he doesn't win at this point.

I don't know.

I don't know

anything.

Yeah, it depends on what Biden does, too.

Like, that now,

I just read right before we started that

they're calling for Biden to step down because of some neurological

incident or something.

Now he has COVID or some shit.

It's like the dude is just like, he's,

it's just fucked up how they sit there and they lie to you.

They're like, no, he's fine.

He's fine.

It's like, I can't see.

I have eyes.

I can tell.

He's not fine.

Watch him on TV.

It's crazy because

look, guys, like you're fucking lying to us.

Like, how you like, you guys are covering this shit up and lying?

Like, what the fuck?

How is that not like the craziest thing in the world?

Like, you got George Clooney is telling us that this guy a fucking month ago was a shuffling mess.

I was like, and it's just like, you guys, it's like, how, who's really running the country if he's not?

You know what I mean?

You're like, and he's like, I'm not going to schedule things after 8 p.m.

And you're like, all right, but what the fuck?

I mean, the country still goes at 8.01 p.m.

A lot of the world leaders agree to that, that they won't allow anything to happen after 8 p.m.

Putin's like, I'll take anything here.

Yeah, let's keep it quiet after 8 p.m.

Eastern time,

United States time.

I don't care what time it is here.

It's like we've just

ass lit for years.

Yeah, they fucking did a lot of damage to credibility, I thought,

by allowing it to go this far.

But hey, man, that's just where we are today.

But

he fought back, though.

He said

he wasn't going to bow out just because people want him to.

Yeah.

That's not overstood, though.

Why?

Like, you've got to know your limitations sometimes, you know.

Like,

I'm not going to go and try to get into the senior Olympics and run a fucking 100-yard dash.

Like, I know my limitations.

I could never run fast.

But even with a fake knee, but you know what?

You're not the best example, though because

you don't have just like you know a very few select few people have the

some could say arrogance or confidence to be a president so when you have that mentality that you're good you're a good enough leader to be to lead the fucking the greatest nation on the planet

There's not a lot people can tell you.

Like if they tell you you're not strong enough now or you're not good enough, you're like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Of course I am.

That's true.

You got to think that you're right because what it takes to be like, not only like, I'm going to be the president once it's like I'm going to be the president twice not even in a row yeah

it is like you have to have that confidence and you have to have that

that you know confident like to say that like I can do it I could do it and I'm not going to give in and

I thought it was like I thought it was pretty cool that he was just like nah you know what i'm going to keep running i don't care how many people say i'm not going to but what about the stuff that was like supposed to make us feel better like he was like all right i know what was wrong from now on i'm going to get to to bed at 8 o'clock.

I'm not going to take any meetings past 5.

And it's like, you're saying this that's supposed to instill confidence, and it's like not.

It's doing the exact opposite.

Yeah.

It's like you sound like an old grandpa that can't, that just wants to rest.

And should be resting.

He should be living out his golden years, enjoying the grandchildren and shit, being the former president, whatever.

But at this point, it's just like, yeah, we need some, I mean, and I'm not even saying Trump, but we need some young blood in there.

But he has a sense of urgency, though.

He feels that the country needs

his vision for the next four years, and he's not willing to go.

That shows that he's demented more than anything else.

Why?

That he thinks that he's doing a good job leading this country.

Like, come on, man.

There's a lot of people who do think he is, though.

I know they do.

Let's look at inflation.

Let's look at interest rates.

Let's look at a bunch of shit.

I know people don't want to hear it, but it is so true, though.

Man,

both candidates are fucking terrible.

Oh, yeah.

They really are.

I mean, it's like nobody wants, like, oh, it's easy to say both are fucking shit, but but they are.

But I'm sorry, it's true, though.

Yeah, like, and that's it of a country of how many people, how many promising young people, it's like these are the two that they come up with.

These are the two.

It's about popularity more than anything else, though.

Yeah.

Anyway, so my tree guy,

I've been meaning to talk about this guy.

My tree guy

is, I don't want to say successful get him,

but

he

he's get him like he's he he every time I see the guy because you know he's a bigger guy, you know, he's got the beard like Gethem does, and he's kind of got he his mannerisms remind me of get him.

And get him's a good-looking guy, you know, we've always we've always noted that about him.

Like, I think when women see pictures of get him, they're like, oh, wow, he's better looking than I thought he would be.

And my tree guy,

I'm telling you, my tree guy is get him.

And like, if it's like he acts the same, he's got the same sort of quirky mannerisms.

He knows a little too much about trees.

You know what I'm getting at here?

Is he husky like Giddam?

He is.

That's what I'm saying.

He gets up up there on those big, tall trees.

He has a crew that does it.

He runs a crew now

that does.

And I was talking to him today, and I'm like, fuck, I almost want to get this guy on the podcast, but I don't know how to invite him on without it being like.

why?

You remind me of my really weird friend.

But I'm looking at this guy and I'm talking to this guy.

I ended up talking of like a half hour today, just shooting the shit because I was just absorbing all these giddem-like details from him and checking off the box, like every all the giddemisms.

And I was like, man, I want to get this guy in here.

And it's like, why are you running a successful fucking tree cut, like overcharging me for trees, getting getting cut down on a property and stuff, and get him sleeping on a couch in a thing?

I gotta figure it out, man.

Get him an axe.

Let him chop down some tree.

Maybe that's it.

It's called ambition.

You think that's it?

He's got a wife and kids.

Right, but I mean, you have to have the ambition, though.

Look,

I mean, get him what I mean.

Get him had a successful tree company.

I'm sure his life would be a little bit different right now.

They always steer you away from stuff like that in school, right?

They're like, go to college, go to college.

Don't learn to cut trees down.

But now you get this guy,

charging you, God knows how much per tree to knock down and shit, you know?

Yeah, he's like, oh, you need that tree down?

That'll be four grand.

And you're like,

oh.

I mean, the only thing.

How much if I pay you cash?

Four grand.

The only thing between, it sounds like between your friend, your new friend, and Giddam is Giddam doesn't have the equipment.

If Giddam had the equipment, I bet you he could do what he's doing too.

Without anything,

you think he could cut a tree down?

Absolutely.

You gave him a saw?

Absolutely.

In a heartbeat.

You said that when I had to have my trees cut down, that he could do it.

I told you he could do it.

And I had 100% confidence in him that he could cut a tree.

And I said the guy who cut mine down had a full crew and safety features.

Yeah, that's why you're paying overpriced, you know, exorbitant charges because all those regulations.

Yeah, but Giddam could just get in there with a hatchet.

With a hatchet and a hammer and take down all your your oaks.

Yeah, I don't think.

If you saw what this guy had to do.

With perfect precision, like dominoes.

So he just cuts one and the rest fall down.

You took algebra, right?

Yeah, so yeah, he could do it.

Took algebra.

This guy's an arborist.

Like, he's a fucking actual licensed arborist.

Now, what does that entail, though?

How much schooling do you need to become an arborist?

I don't know.

Maybe this is why I want to get him on, but I really don't have any way to ask him to do it

without coming off as weird.

I don't know.

I mean, get him.

Look it up.

See what an arborist.

Oh, there we go.

Tree ground.

Yeah, he sketched out his plan of attack.

Tree, get him meets tree, tree go down.

That's the fucking, that's the business card.

He's on the side of the truck.

Get him goes down.

No, no, no.

Tree goes down.

Get him, watch us.

Get him meets tree.

What is it?

Get him see.

Get him meets tree.

Tree goes down.

Oh, my God.

If that's not a t-shirt for Patreon,

get him tree service.

Get him a tree service.

Get a meets tree.

Tree goes down.

That's great.

Yeah, it's no joke that getting landscaping done.

I work for landscaping.

It's literally what I work for.

That's it.

It's so fucking expensive.

Yeah, it sucks, especially on Staten Island, man.

It's like, it's in, you know, it's technically, you know, it's like, they got you.

They just fucking gotcha.

And like half the island is a special.

You have to get permission from the city to cut a tree down or else they could like fine you and stuff like that.

So then that's why you have to get an arborist because they have to look at the tree.

The tree's sick.

The city has to come out, agree this tree is sick.

Then they sign off on the paperwork.

Then they issue you a violation.

And then they cut down the tree.

And then the violation goes away once you submit the paperwork for cutting down a fucking tree.

A fucking tree.

That's on your property.

It's a sick tree.

It's a dead tree on my property.

That should pay sounds.

That's fucking insane.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Yeah.

And this guy in the middle of it all is making money left and right.

And he just reminds me as a exact, like, he's get him.

He's just get him.

It just blew my mind.

Blew it.

Once again, my mind gets blown

i have um i've been having a recurring uh dream about you q

oh dude

now while it sounds sexy at first and i know all the 13 percenters are like lathering up right now it's that we're trying to save a kitten and we can't and i think it's because on instagram i keep watching these little short reels about um like kittens or puppies that are like you know down and out or like they find them on the side of a road or they find them in a mud pit or some shit and then they like take them and they sort of like document their journey by

video and stuff.

Are you having videos?

I mean, in dreams, you're having

saving a kitten, or are you actually really trying to save a kitten?

No, in the dreams, me and Q are trying to save a kitten, and it's like it just keeps getting away from us.

It keeps like scrambling up telephone poles.

I've had it like three times in the past week now.

Any new meds?

No, no new meds or anything.

No.

Well, I had a tragic

kitten experience this week, so we might be linked psychically, man.

Yeah, I came home from work the other day, and so you know, the cats that I feed in my yard, mama and her two Lena and Lucy, that live in my yard.

Um, I just adopted out two of their kittens anyway.

I've been feeding them for like going on almost two years now, and I pull into the driveway the other night, and there's Lucy is lying in the driveway, just lying.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, what's this?

And I get out, and it's like Jack the Ripper got to her.

It was like her tail was,

she was, I was like, as I got closer, I was like, I'm going to have to rush her to the hospital.

And then I got closer, I was like, I fucking lost Lucy.

And I just, you know, I'm going to start crying now talking about it.

But,

dude, it was like Jack the Ripper got her.

It was like her stomach was ripped open, but her tail was off.

Like, her face was.

He's like it was a dog.

I think it was, at first, I thought it was

a fucking hawk.

And I was like, because I've been gone most of the day.

It probably happened happened during the day he swooped down and ate her and then left her there and I looked at the cameras and you know I have security cameras and it wasn't didn't happen during the day so I think it was a fox and I didn't want to watch it so I didn't like

you know I didn't scroll I can't I can't stand the idea of watching her getting torn apart like that but I think but I did see a fox in the yard um

And I was like, motherfucker probably got eaten by a fox.

And it was like, this was the sweetest cat, man.

Like, every time I went out there to feed her, like, two, three times a day, day, she'd come out and like hang out with me.

And it was Boris's half-sister, and I was like really close to this fucking cat.

And like, I had to bury her in the yard.

I made her a tombstone and everything.

Dude, I was so depressed.

And like,

sets.

Yeah, so, like,

so maybe your dreams are, are, are, you know, yeah, maybe that could have been it.

I had one of those dreams.

Did you?

Yeah, not about you guys saving a kitten, but I had a, I mean, I don't want to get emotional because I remember I've been telling when I tell the story, I start to cry, but um,

I had a dream after Father's Day

that I was at the Stash, which

seemingly ever since I left the Stash, I have dreams that I'm back at the Stash.

But I'm at the Stash and I feel something rub up against my leg.

And it was Cooper, my friend She, who passed away about a year ago.

And he's fine.

And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on?

Like, how can you be here right now?

What is going on?

And I'm just like stunned.

So I'm petting him.

And I say to myself, okay, you must be dreaming.

This is the realest dream I've ever had in my life.

Like where

it is, I can't even tell you the feeling of how it felt like it was so real.

And I kept telling myself in the dream, are you dreaming right now?

You have to be dreaming.

Look around you.

What are the signs that you're dreaming?

I'm looking around and I can't tell anything's off.

And I can feel his breath.

I could feel that fucking barrel chest as I'm petting him.

And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

And so

I take him into the back because I'm like, I want to go home and tell Deb.

You know, I want to show her that he's back.

And

as we're walking back by the dumpster to my car, I notice he's limping and he has like this wheat stalk, like a stalk of wheat, and it's in his pad on his back foot.

And when I go to touch it, it's so prickly I can't grab it.

So I tell him to, I stand up and I put my foot on on it and I tell him to walk.

And when that pulls it out of his back foot, and when he starts walking,

like prancing almost, like, like he's, there's no pain whatsoever in him, I told myself, this is real.

It's, it's, it happened.

And like this, from head to toe, I felt like

happiness that

cannot be earthly.

Like it just felt like

I convinced myself, I'm not dreaming.

So I get him in the car and we're driving home and I'm seeing all the things.

I mean, it felt so real.

And I'm like, I'm stopped at his traffic light.

The traffic lights always stop at.

And I'm asking, I'm like, where the fuck were you?

He's not answering me.

And he's just looking out the window.

And I'm like, where have you been?

And so I get him home and I bring him upstairs and

the door is closed to my bedroom and Deb's in there.

And I yell for her to come out and I'm crying.

And she opens the door and she starts crying.

I'm like, what are you crying about?

It's Cooper.

She goes, it's, it's not Cooper.

And I look down and it wasn't Cooper.

It was a different dog.

So I woke up the next morning.

This is all, this is, that's the end of the dream.

But I woke up the next morning and I'm in the shower when I remember the dream.

And I'm totally like, it's like being robbed of that happiness, that feeling of happiness.

It's like feel, it's like

just being ripped out from under you.

So I go to lunch with Deb and she's asking me what's wrong.

And I start to tell her about the dream and I start crying in the pizza parlor.

And then the next day I get a text and it's

a French bulldog in

Christmas clothes.

And it says, I'm ready for Christmas.

I'm like, who the fuck sent me this?

And I look back, I had missed three texts, and it's Brian Nichelle.

And he says that, hey, my aunt passed away

maybe on the day I had the dream last week.

It was Friday.

And he said, she has this French bulldog.

That would you be interested in adopting it?

Wow.

And I was like,

I didn't know the backstory to the

show.

I mean, we're at Friendly's.

It was on Father's Day, and we're at Friendly's.

And

I just had to leave the restaurant, just go out in the parking lot.

Because it just felt fucking bizarre.

Yeah.

So I took the dog.

Yeah, I adopted the dog.

And the lady.

It's such a sad story for the dog, too.

It's like he was the apple of this, of his aunt's life, like treated like a prince in a high-rise apartment in Manhattan.

Yeah, there's the dog showing Q.

How old is he?

Four years old.

Four years old.

Took him everywhere, treated him like

a human being.

And how sad is that, though, that like

he doesn't know what happens.

She passes away and

she had no, she like, she had no idea where her dog was going to wind up, like in a stranger's house.

But luckily, it's somebody who's going to take care of him.

Right.

You know, so he's not like at the pounder.

I really hope that she's able to see because he's like,

he's got a yard now where he'd never, he wouldn't step on grass because he only, oh, really?

He would only go to the bathroom on the sidewalk or the street.

He would step on grass like it was, like it was hot.

Like he was just so unsure of what to do on the grass.

But now he's running like he's the exact opposite of Cooper in terms of activity.

I thought all French Bulldogs were like potatoes, like just sat on the couch and did nothing.

This dog is more athletically built than Sox is.

Socks can't keep up with this dog.

It's just the total night and day.

situation where this dog just is constantly wants to play.

And Cooper never wanted to play.

He just wanted to hang out.

Just wanted to hang out.

But it was a, it's a sad story, but

hopefully, you know, best case scenario is the dog now

is somewhere for the rest of his life where he'll, you know, be cared for.

Yeah.

But I mean, it is sad, though, that, like, shit, how, how did, like, he end up here, though?

It's just so weird.

Especially on the tales of that dream, like 24 hours later, we have a different dog.

You have a different dog.

French bulldog.

That's crazy.

It was really, really

surreal.

But I want to thank Brian Nichelle for thinking about me.

Yeah.

How you getting along?

You just love this new guy.

What's his name?

Teddy is his name.

I'm not crazy about Teddy, but that's his name.

Four years in.

I can't change it.

Can't change it, of course.

But

I call him Ted Baxter.

But yeah,

he's...

You know, he's got a...

We've only had him, I guess, now it's going to be three weeks, but

he's got to learn our rules.

We got to learn what he wait what here he came from.

He had he lived a different life for four years, so he has it's a

he's got to like adapt

to the way we do things.

And he has been, you know, he's

he's really lovable, though, and he's just got a great personality, but he definitely has

what I call it, separation.

Yeah, separation.

He does, as long as a human being is in the room, he's fine.

But if we leave him alone,

he doesn't do that great right now.

He wants to, he starts to hyperventilate and get really agitated.

So

I've been getting coverage.

Giddam, of course, has helped out and watched him for me when me and my wife had to go somewhere.

My mom has.

But he's got a lot of years left.

So it's like, there's like,

I got to get coverage, like basically a baby, though, if I can't.

wean him off getting this kind of all super agitated if we leave.

Because you said you left an iPad behind, right?

To like recording.

Yeah, I recorded him him on my iPad and he started howling.

He does.

We have never heard him howl.

The only time we heard him howl is on the iPad when we record him to see what he did when we were gone.

Right.

Look, he

doesn't know what the fuck's going on.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Poor Teddy's best friend, you know, he lost a woman that doted on him and shit.

He doesn't know why, where.

So it's like, maybe he'll grow out of it.

Maybe he's like.

He's just like, holy fuck, like she walked out the door one day and never came back.

You know what I mean?

And like, you know, so I bet you a little time.

Yeah, you know, he'll, yeah, that's what we hope.

But even if it does, but you know what?

If we have to get coverage, so be it.

So be it.

So be it, we'll do whatever it takes.

God, this has been a week of pet stories.

Even Frank Five has had a pet story earlier today.

He was all upset.

I think we're just going to

make everybody cry this week, right?

Yeah.

No, we, we, my wife and I, we purchased a dog, and we've been wanting a German Shepherd for a while.

I had it, I had German Shepherds growing up.

And it was almost like it was like fate.

We saw this dog, and the dog's name was Frank.

And it was, what the hell was it?

Oh, Frank, Frank number six.

Frank number six, right?

So, you know, it was like spur of the moment.

And we're like, all right, let's buy it.

Bought the dog, brought it home.

How old?

How old is this guy?

He was born March 22nd.

Oh, boy, probably a couple months old.

Yeah, by four months, maybe?

And no, three.

Three months old.

And we had him for, I don't know, like maybe just about a week.

And Mary was having very bad, like, allergic reactions.

Here, you can show cute the dog.

There you go.

Oh, look at the

ears, man.

Yeah, he's beautiful.

So Mary was having very, very bad allergic reactions, hives, not being able to breathe, all that stuff.

Did you know that?

So are you now announcing your divorce?

I know.

I'm wondering who who I should have kept, dog or Mary.

But my father stepped up and he took the dog.

Yeah, there was nothing that could be done.

Mary is on some other medication, so

an allergy shot or an allergy pill wouldn't have been

feasible because it would react with the other medication.

So, yeah, it's been a week of crying.

But the situation, though, is like if you couldn't keep it, this is the best case scenario where you still get to interact with the dog and your father now

has this companion that he's been alone I assume for a while now I didn't say this to you but I wondered like if if fate was if there was something was if it was all done for a reason that way like somebody on the other side was was pushing was pushing for you to get this dog knowing that it would wind up in your father's house.

Maybe.

I mean, a lot of things happen to have that.

I mean, we were supposed to go someplace that day and we didn't.

So we ended up going to a mall that we normally don't go to.

We went to the pet shop.

The dog happened to be there.

We went out to eat, went back to the pet shop.

I just couldn't bring myself to walk out of the pet shop without the dog, you know?

Gave the credit card.

The credit card didn't work at first, but then it...

you know, they're like, oh, you know, it probably has a security hold on it.

And sure enough, that's all it was.

So everything led us to getting this dog, except for Mary not breathing.

But you wonder if it was meant for you and like it maybe

like my mother was pushing something was going on that made you take the plunge knowing that you, it would wind up in your father's home.

And then you live so close to your father.

It's like

it's a stone's throw.

So it's like if it has to be that way, maybe it was all for a reason.

Well, Mary, you and Mary both kind of made me feel a little better.

And they said, listen,

the dog's going to have have a better life no matter what.

If you brought it back to the pen shop, you don't know what's going to happen.

At least now.

Yeah, you have a hand in it.

You get to see it.

You get to interact with it.

You get to help your dad, like, make, turn that puppy into a companion that will be with him.

I hope so.

Because right now, I don't know who's watching who when I show up to that house.

I don't know who's in charge where I go.

Well, let me ask you something.

Like, are you eating the price of that dog or are you trying to hit your dad up for a fucking 50% on that?

So my father, here's the other thing.

So like when I was texting my father from the restaurant at the mall, I was like, oh, you know, I'm thinking about getting this dog, but, you know, I'm not sure.

And my father texts back and he goes, oh, if you buy the dog, I'll pay for it.

And

I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't do it.

So I bought the dog.

And then when I.

We could take it, he tried to give me half of the money back for the dog.

And I was like, no, no, it's not the way this is going to work.

This is your Christmas gift.

The next year.

So this is Christmas and this is your birthday.

Don't expect any gifts.

I says, but I don't want any money.

I would just, I feel horrible enough as it is.

I don't want it.

It's not about the money.

I just want it to go to a good home.

And Frank, you know, he's been,

you know, he's obviously been affected because, but it's so early on.

I just kept trying to reinforce with him.

And

it takes, it's like you got to turn this baby into a 20-year-old companion for your father.

It just takes a couple of months.

It's like I'm training both of them, my father and the dog.

Well,

I'll tell you.

So

after I had

gotten Lucy's parts in this bag, you know, that I was going to bury her in, which is one of the worst things.

And

her sister came out, right?

And I thought I had gotten all the

fur tufts, you know, laying around.

like you know and i missed one and i looked over and and lena was like sniffing at the fur tuft

so i said you know

i went and took lucy i i put her you know somewhere so i go bury the next day and then fed lena and she went away and then i i went in my garage and i sat down and like

the next day i had to go into the footage because i'm not the only one that has access to my security cameras and i had to delete the footage of like the next 10 minutes in that garage because I was

like, bawling, like, like, and like, talking to myself, and they're like, why didn't I adopt her out?

Like, why did I, why?

It was like, so I watched the tape of me crying, and I was like, ooh, I was like,

if I'm ever to get late again, I must delete this before

this gets out into the world.

This is the most estrogen-laden episode.

How about 603?

We promise to talk about all, like, just banging.

Manly shit.

Like, doing the most macho shit

that we can.

We'll go to a strip club and really tear it up.

We'll make it rain.

We'll make it rain on some ladies.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, which is actually, I got to tell you, though, to be honest, like, I didn't tell anybody that.

And it's kind of nice to get it off my chest and talk about it.

You know?

Yeah.

Like, it was a real traumatic moment in that garage when I was crying, when I was howling like Teddy.

Yeah, it's exactly what I was doing.

It was like, it was so, it was, it was so miserable.

So it's actually nice to, I mean, I realize, you know, that it, that I'm not just sharing it with you guys, I'm sharing it with everybody.

But it's, it's kind of nice to talk about because I've been in a kind of like fucking depressed mood all week about it.

So

I want to meet the person that judges BQ for crying over that.

The hardened cocksucker.

I think it was the way I was crying.

It wasn't like a manly tear.

It was like,

oh, woeful shit.

Yeah, if there was a coffin for me to throw myself on, I would have.

Yeah.

Before my father came to get the dog, I'm sitting in the middle of my living room.

Now Mary's watching me on the couch, and we're just sitting there.

The dog's sitting there, and I'm stroking its head, and I'm just like, I'm so sorry, Frank.

I'm sorry.

And I'm crying and I'm sobbing.

And I look over at her and she's sobbing.

And it's like, this is horrible.

Yeah.

And it has to feel much worse because you're like, for Mary, because she's like, it's, even though it's beyond her control, it still has to be a little feeling of like, well, it's because of me.

Yeah.

And because I tell her that.

Because you remind her.

She didn't at first, but Frank made sure that she eventually felt that way.

Q and Bri.

I ask you this, though.

Could you ever name a pet your own name?

I couldn't.

Little bruh.

I could not say Walter

30 to 50 times a day.

I would drive myself crazy.

I couldn't believe that he said he was going to name it after him.

No, that's what it's named was.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

But you said you were going to do that.

Anyway, that's why I thought I was saying that because I wanted to name a dog after Frank.

You said you were going to name the dog Frank if you ever got a dog.

And I was just like, he says that now, but after one day of saying, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank,

yeah, you would be like, I would drive myself crazy saying my own name.

I can't stand my own name as it is.

To say it aloud as many times as you do to a puppy.

Yeah, I would be able to rip my own tongue out.

And the neighbors would hear him and be like, what's going on over there?

He's talking to himself.

He's yelling at himself.

Frank pissed in the kitchen.

You should have named them six.

It would have been, you know?

Ooh, that's a cool name.

Yeah, like Frank Six.

Six.

There's six.

But he actually renamed the dog anyway, right?

Yeah, it's Sherman now.

I like that too.

That's Sherman.

Is it?

Yeah, Sherman Tank.

Oh, yeah, you think of that.

Yeah.

I'm thinking of Sherman Hemsland.

Is that not a Sherman?

You get him saying, no,

it's not German.

A Sherman tank is a Sherman.

Yeah, was Sherman American tanks?

Am I wrong about them?

Are they American tanks?

Oh, they're used to killing Germans.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, they were used to kill Germans.

You know how many German blood is on those fucking

trends?

That's manly.

Oof.

All right.

I'm going to man this place up a little bit.

Oh, are we talking about some fucking blue chew?

Talking about doing laundry.

I'm so sorry.

Right now, we all need a blue chew in the worst way possible.

I want a motor.

I need a motor, friend.

The only thing that's going to fix this is a motor.

I'll talk about laundry disturbance in a minute.

We really want to manly this up, so we'll talk about Adam and Eve.

There you go.

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We just recently did a Patreon episode where I used two dildos, Frank, that were both purchased at Adam.

That's it.

It's called on the new Bry Tries.

He's trying dildos as his new hobby.

What are you doing with them?

What are you inserting them?

Yeah.

I'll just put them up there and see what's what.

See what I'm sticking with this hobby?

Yeah, the show's over.

I found my hobby.

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And then I'll read this other one real fast.

This is about doing laundry.

I do all the laundry.

Is that a, what do you think about that?

I do all the laundry at my house.

Do you have too?

Why do you do all the laundry at your house?

Because Mary takes too long to do it.

I'll do it at the end.

Piles up.

Yeah, I need clothes.

Yeah, I hardly have any clothes, and Mary Beth just doesn't do it, so I just end up doing it myself.

And then folding, folding, I'll just watch TV and fold some clothes and shit.

Well, It's the only way I can get the Trider underwear on.

Oh, yeah.

All right, I hear you.

I've never done laundry in my entire life.

No.

I've never done a load of laundry.

I wouldn't even know.

No, that's like, I'm not boasting.

I'm not proud of it.

I'm just saying I wouldn't even know how to turn on the machine.

Yeah.

I wouldn't even know how to work it.

I would look like a caveman looking at like Hal in 2001 or something.

It would be beyond me.

You didn't do it on the trip?

You didn't do laundry?

No.

We just took enough clothes clothes that we'd have to do laundry.

Oh.

Yeah.

We just, you know, just pl planned it so we wouldn't have to we would have clean clothes for the entire trip.

Nice.

This is Earth Breeze I'm talking about here, Frank.

Earth Breeze eco-sheets.

They look just like a dryer sheet, but it's ultra-concentrated, liquidless laundry detergent.

You don't want to listen to this.

It's the best of both worlds.

Earth Breeze is tough on stains and odors while being kind to the planet and your skin.

They got rid of unnecessary chemicals for a formula that is kind kind-to-sensitive to skin of all ages, including babies.

So it's good for Walt.

Walt's got some skin.

Yeah, I have seen baby skin.

Yeah.

There's no more lifting or measuring sticky blue goo from a massive plastic jug, and those jugs will stop entering the ecosystems, millions of them.

In fact, 500 million detergent jugs end up in landfills and oceans every single year.

And 91% of those single-use plastic does not get recycled, including stuff we put in the recycling bins.

I've read that, that like

really recycling makes no sense, but if we were to stop it, people would go crazy.

Like, people, they, they just like the idea that they're reusing this and all this, you know, they like the idea that they're doing something positive, right?

With almost the smallest amount of effort possible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They said, like, plastic is, like, useless, right?

Plastic recycling is largely.

Pretty much, yeah, it's useless.

They don't use most of it.

Ruse most of it.

Like, metal, metal.

Metal, they will do it.

It is crazy that they were still using single-use plastic.

Isn't it wild?

Yeah, why don't they just go to glass?

Glass and like

fucking Coke cans have been around since I've been alive.

Like, they seem like they work pretty well.

Probably the glass is just more expensive, I would imagine.

That's the only reason they wouldn't do it.

But at what point do we start not prioritizing profit over everybody getting a live on the podcast?

That's never going to happen in your lifetime.

Pollyanna Q just entered the podcast early.

Let me give this.

Why do profits matter?

Let me give this.

stuff

off his soapbox.

You can get 40% off EarthBreeze just by going to EarthBreeze.com slash T-E-S-D.

That's EarthBreeze.com slash T-E-S-D to cut out your single-use plastic in your laundry room and claim 40% off your subscription.

Earthbreeze.com slash T-E-S-D.

Yeah, that's a nice thought, Q, but I don't see that happening.

We don't ever really hear much from Pollyanna Q.

No.

You're much more of the realist, and you call it as you seize it.

So it's very refreshing to see Pollyanna Q rear her head.

I think I start crying about fucking cats.

It's bound to happen.

Yeah, you know what it is, Walt?

It's like, you know me, like, I have a dim overall view of humanity, and I don't have kids.

So I never really...

you know, get too worked up.

I mean, one of the great things about middle age is like, I really only have to worry about 30 more years.

Yeah.

We're all staying together.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's like pretty nice.

Like, that is a benefit.

But it is crazy that, like, all right.

So, like, I buy cherry juice, right?

Cherry juice or cherry tree?

Cherry juice.

Cherry juice.

Cherry juice.

Like, bottles of cherry juice.

Because I make my iced tea.

Like, I have a jug of iced tea that I make.

Oh, I thought it was a cherry juice, it was quote unquote, like it was some sort of alcoholic drink.

Yeah, right.

He's making mash out of his backyard.

No, it's, it's like, I just put a splash of it in there for taste, right?

Okay.

And there's this company that I've been using called Newtson Farms that makes it, and it's like $9 a bottle, right?

And I was in the supermarket the other day and I saw another company, and Newtson uses glass, and there was another company, I forget the name of it, that has the same amount of cherry juice, same product, like looking at the ingredients, there's no added anything.

It's fucking $4.99, but it's in a plastic bottle.

And this is why this is on my mind, because I was holding both in my hand, and I'm like, well, this is it, it's time to walk the walk.

Like, am I going to pay almost twice as much for the same cherry juice, you know, to save the planet?

You know,

what happened?

I'm very curious.

What was that what went to the counter, glass or plastic?

I think you know what went to the counter.

I was like, well, well, fuck it.

I'm not going to pay twice as much.

There he is.

He's back.

I mean, the cherry juice was exactly the same.

The taste was the same.

It was $4 cheaper.

It just came into play.

And that's where I started thinking the other day.

I'm like, this is crazy.

Like, why are they even allowing them to sell it in plastic?

And there you go.

Yeah, kind of.

Go ahead.

No, no, no, I was done.

I was going to say, it was

like speaking of the earth and recycling and plastics.

On our trip

with Frank, I can't even tell tell you how many times I said I took pictures on my phone in stores where they could still use plastic bags and sent them to Alicia.

And I was like, can you believe it?

They're using plastic bags here.

They're so lucky.

Can't take pictures of anything else.

Nothing else he took a picture of, just targeted plastic products.

They actually are like, I know we've grabbed a whole bunch of plastic bags so that we could take.

We used to use them for garbage at home.

They were just handy to have those plastic bags.

So we were running, like, how many times have we run out of stores with handfuls of plastic bags?

I have a whole stick, remember?

I bought one piece of gum, but took like 50 bags to get the self-check out.

Fuck the earth.

I went to the mall.

I forgot to tell you guys that I revisited the mall where Mawat, Maul Wats, where Mall Rats was shot on our trip to Minnesota.

Oh, get out of here.

Still open, huh?

Yeah, Eden Prairie.

Eden Prairie.

Yeah, it looks nothing like the mall mall from Mall Rats.

Unrecognizable, but it was pretty cool to walk back in there

one last time and

be on there.

Where you know, that set of Mall Rats.

It was pretty wild that that mall is still open.

I mean, it was crazy.

I think it's on borrowed time, right?

It was kind of dad.

I thought Kevin told me that he had gone there years ago and he was like, it looks like it's on its way out, but it seems like it's still hobbling along.

It's still, yeah, they have a Target now.

That was the big store, I think.

Oh, no, they had that sports, was it Disc?

Oh, yeah.

No, I don't don't know what that store was, but that was a movie.

The animatronics.

Yeah.

But yeah, it was wild to go back to Eden Prairie after all that time.

I guess how many years?

Nothing.

There's no

note to say this is where Mall Rats was filmed.

Wow.

You know, if I was the owner of a struggling mall, looking to do anything to get people in there,

I might commission a Jay and Solomon Bob, or even better, a Steve Davin fanboy statue.

I want to be in that meeting where somebody proposes a bronze statue of me and you.

Hey, there's people out there who will take trips just to take snapshots of bronze statues.

Oh, yeah.

I heard of them.

Yeah.

Go way out of their way.

You know what?

One of the statues I wanted to see, they didn't even want to come.

I left everybody in the car, and I will walk up here all by myself, two miles away.

Two miles you walked?

That's why I wanted to go see the Bob Newhart statue.

None of of them cared.

Yeah, Bob Newhart died today.

No, he didn't.

Yes, he did.

Yeah, he passed away today.

But he fails to put

the crying's going to start all over.

I thought Bob Newhart.

He was like 98.

He was so young.

But he fails to put into context the reason why everyone stayed behind in the car.

We're in the middle of Chicago.

Now, Chicago has kind of a rep.

It's what, 12 a.m.

and he parks the car, and

the wives don't want to go.

Should I have left a fucking car

while we trapes along to go fucking get photos by a fucking Bob Newhart statue in a strange city at 12 a.m.

Was it on Navy Pier?

Was that where was that?

It was at the very end of Navy Pier.

I mean, it's a pretty well-lit area.

It wasn't well-lit.

No, it was closed when we got.

There were sirens the whole time he was gone.

I wouldn't have left the ladies either, Walt.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what I would have done anyway, though.

I mean, I think you took the keys with you, so we probably couldn't have left.

That's why I kept getting texts from everybody.

Oh, are you on your way back?

Are you on your way back?

You know what?

We heard sirens.

We're like, holy fuck, I hope he didn't get shot.

Oh, my God.

What's in a lifetime event?

Well, you know, now that he died, I do regret not going.

Good.

You know, can we go back maybe next summer?

Yeah.

You get a picture of it.

Bob's doing our statue next trip.

How many people went to that statue today, you think, and got it and took pictures of it?

I bet you Facebook is probably loaded with memorials of it.

It's got to be in the day he passed away.

I can't believe he died today.

Yeah.

He's way down in the New York Post.

Well, the guy who

co-founded Fandango, that guy who jumped off the building and killed himself, he's like the number one story for some reason.

Really?

Whereas Bob Newhart, a lifetime of achievement.

Yeah.

Two-hit shows.

That's hard to do.

Look at that.

You don't think that was worth almost getting killed for?

Yeah, I I would take a bullet for it, I guess.

Not in a place that's going to kill me, but you know, like maybe in the leg or the arm.

Or the ear?

Who are who?

Yeah, maybe the one in the ear.

Who are some stars that had two hit shows?

I mean, it's a short list, I would have to think.

Brian Cranston, Malcolm in the Middle.

Yeah, Breaking Bad.

But was he, would you call him the star, though?

Like, Bob was the star of both shows.

He was a star of Breaking Bad.

I wouldn't say he was a star of Malcolm in the Middle, though.

Right.

Yeah.

Frazier.

He's on his third hit show.

Yep.

Kelsey Grammer.

Same character.

Yeah, same character.

Ted Danson.

Ted Danson.

And what was the name of that second show?

Coach.

Becker.

Becker.

Becker.

Coach.

Becker.

Good place, too.

Good place was his, too.

That was a hit.

Was Ted Danson as well?

He had three hits.

Oh, that's right.

He played somebody from heaven, right?

Yeah, he was an angel.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that was a really funny show.

I mean, I don't want to say anything, guys, but you know, choke is wild.

You know?

You know?

Just saying, you know,

you might have someone on your hands right in front of you.

What, no?

No, no, totally agree with it.

He's going to get me a statue?

We'll come see it.

We're going to put a statue right in front of the, right on the strip of the airport plaza.

Yeah, all right.

I'm down.

I mean, they actually should for the for Tell him Steve Dave, right?

This plaza should recognize what we're bringing in to the amount of traffic we're bringing into this plaza.

If that fucking asshole Ron across the hallway could drop his fucking attitude and realize that he's working with legends walking the earth, he wouldn't mind a fucking chair in the hallway.

Now, that's the kind of support I'm talking about.

That's the kind of support.

Get him.

Take note of what Q just did right there.

When I shit on somebody, you fucking open up those, open up that fucking belt, rip those pants down, and start fucking defecating right where I'm at.

You talk brain diarrhea like a snow.

That's your job.

Take some act slacks.

Pop a few.

Prop a deuce.

When you start seeing me go off on somebody, you have to go off on somebody.

That should make your bowels stir.

Walt, uh-oh.

I'm feeling gurgly.

Hey, Ron, check this out.

Just leave it out of the way.

By the side, the chair in a box doesn't look so bad.

He's like Vito Jr.

in the Sopranos.

Just like

that.

Oh, you know, like, you know, you're not happy to see a chair and a box in the hallway.

Well, how about this?

Without skipping a beat, he just walks back in here and shuts the door.

Doesn't even want to be.

Taken care of, boss.

And keep his mouth shut.

And his nose.

I wouldn't be sure

how to deal with it if he actually did it.

But goddamn, what a great story.

He did watch.

I would not be happy about that.

All kidding aside.

We'd probably get thrown out of Airport last year.

Rightfully so.

A few businesses that still pay rent, we get thrown out.

They're like, what about that fucking statue we put out front there?

Are they going to move that?

There's like, Q, is this odd?

I think in this plaza, there's like a 50% non-rental payment from the clients.

It feels just like nobody pays the rent.

How do you know that?

Gatum looked it up.

There's all sorts of court cases of people not paying the rent, and the rent, the people people who owned it then have to file with Monmouth County to get the rent back.

And

other proprietors have just confided and get them.

Like, oh, yeah, I haven't paid rent in six months.

Wow.

Well, a bunch of scumbags.

Well,

I have no idea why they're not paying, but we pay on time every time.

And

I'm sorry if we can't put a fucking chair out in the hallway.

Yeah, really?

I don't understand.

I don't really understand this world then.

you've got motherfuckers not paying for six months.

If you're a landlord, once that first month rolls by and they're late, you're like, uh-oh.

Oh, yeah.

That second month, you're like, fuck now.

Yeah, we're going to have to go through legal channels to evict them.

And it takes a fucking

eternity to get somebody out.

Isn't it such a weird system?

Like, people can do that or they can come.

Like, you leave your house because you're sick.

You go to the hospital.

You come back in a week.

Somebody's living in your house.

And they're like, you can't come back in.

I don't understand it.

New York State's bad about squatters, man.

It's unreal.

Yeah.

Florida did the right thing.

It never makes any sense to me.

Like, squatters writes to me.

I'm always like, why?

Yeah, you take over a house that's been derelict for like, you know, 10 years or something or five years.

I kind of get it.

They're like, look, it's going to waste.

I can live there.

I don't have to live outside.

But it's like once I literally, I read a story about a guy who went to the hospital for a month.

And when he got back, people were living in his house and he couldn't go back in.

That's insanity.

It's crazy.

Now,

but the people in Airport Plaza, the businesses that are not paying, I have to chalk it up to that

they just can't afford to make the payments and they're maybe praying and hoping that somehow, some way business turns around and they can start to pay that back rent.

But it all, you know, I mean, reality is most likely that it's not going to turn around and they're probably, they're never going to get their back rent.

And each month that passes more and more likely that

you're not able to rent the place out, you know, to somebody new.

Because if you're like, hey, I haven't paid the rent in six months, it's like, if you like, were

you responsible, you would go to them and be like, look, I can't pay the rent.

I'm going to have to either cancel the lease or I'm going to have to move out or whatever.

But I guess they're like, fuck it.

If I can still do business, plus not pay the rent.

Hey, unless you have up to a year.

So you could go not paying rent for a year in New Jersey, I think, if not more.

That is crazy.

Q, I have something that I know you're going to want to talk about.

This is the last one.

Okay.

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It's all I do.

I do the 10-minute oven.

I preheat the oven and do it that way.

But yeah, it is nice.

The food is good.

I mean,

how often do I come out swinging like I have for Factor?

It's like I eat it three times a week, easy.

Much like the washing machine, I'm not allowed to touch the oven.

You can't touch the oven either.

No, no.

I wish I had these kind of rules in place.

I didn't have to do all the shit I do.

That's what I should have done in the very beginning, just like feigned ignorance.

My mom, when I got married, my mom told Debbie, don't let him touch the oven.

And then before you knew it, you put a bun in it.

What?

Actually, you were married for a while before you had kids, right?

You're married a good day.

In 94, and my first child was 98.

98?

Yeah.

All right.

Good four years.

Yeah, Caitlin Willis is 98.

So we had four years of

getting to know each other.

That's a good long time.

Yeah, we got all the crazy shit out of the way, and that became the cleavers.

There you go.

You are.

You're very cleaver-esque, more than anybody else I know.

Well, I fucking work hard at it.

I think you do, yeah.

I plan a full day of not doing anything that could be questioned.

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Okay.

I have

a couple drunk stories this week.

Drunks.

Drunks.

Drunks.

Yeah, drunks.

Where is it?

Why is it not on here?

Oh, here it is.

Yeah,

Disney, who loves to

ride that fucking PC train, is removing a beloved character from the park after 50 years over fears it could offend alcoholics.

Wow, let me take a guess at this.

There's an alcoholic

somewhat connected to alcohol character?

Yep.

Disney?

Disney.

It's Disney, yeah.

Will you take a guess, Q?

Yeah, we're not.

Is it a character we should recognize?

We'll know who it is when you say it.

You might not notice the name, but you'll definitely.

We'll know the franchise he's part of.

Yes.

I'm going to say it's those hair bears.

Disney doesn't own the Care Bears.

No, Hare Bears, like the Hare Bear Bunch or

the Beverly Hills Bears.

Country Bear Jambears.

Oh, the Country Bears.

That's it.

Yeah, Country Bear Jamboree.

So the guy with the fucking blowing in the X jug, like,

that guy?

You mean, are you talking about Liver Lips McGrowl?

Oh, yes, that's his name.

That's his name.

Yeah,

the term liver lips, which is considered derogatory and offensive,

is associated with alcohol abuse that it does damage to the liver.

See, I never knew that.

It has to be some old world saying that came over from Europe or something.

Liver lips?

And people are like, what did you say?

BQ,

you're the

head magistrate of Walt Disney Parks.

I come to you and I'm like, I want to, I have, you're like, what do you got for me?

You know, you're at a big conference.

I want to remove liver lips.

I think it's offensive to alcoholics.

Well, did anybody complain?

No, sir.

But

they could.

And we want to be on top.

We want to be in the front of this, Mr.

Quinn.

Yeah, pull it.

Get it the fuck out.

Get it out.

Get it out.

Get it out.

Can we just remove the jug and rename him something non-liverlips?

Well, it's funny you should ask that, Walt, because he's going to be replaced with Romeo McGrowl, a bear with the same last name and a similar facial appearance as Liverlips, but with a James Dean-esque coiff.

Oh, but that's going to fucking upset people who fucking died in horrible car crashes.

That's the first thing I thought.

I'm like, I don't want to see that.

There's old Liverlips.

It says here, too, now, look, growing up in a very white town, you heard just about every offensive stereotype for people.

It says here, the term is also seen as a derogatory and offensive stereotype used against black Americans to describe the shape of their lips as sickly or unhealthy, according to the street.com.

I've never heard that.

Liver lips, I always associate it with being cowardly.

Yeah, that's right.

From Westerners, like lily lips.

No, lily liver.

Lily livered.

Oh, lily liver?

Yeah.

Then I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

I've never heard the phrase liver lips.

No.

Never.

I remember my mother used to say that when we were young, she would call people liver lips.

Oh, boy.

What is she calling the people?

She's probably on Facebook right now.

All you liver lips who are happy that Trump got shot.

He only had one song in his whole run from 1971 to 2024.

He had one song, and that was

a good thing.

What fucking movie were they even in?

I don't know.

My woman ain't pretty, but she don't swear none.

That was his song.

Wow.

But were they in a movie?

Like, where did they come from, the Country Bears?

I think they're.

I don't know.

The only person I remember

from was the Country Bear Jamboree dinner.

Like, they have

a barbecue or something.

I wonder if they were created for the park and were featured in no short or cartoon in any shape or form.

No, they're going to do a whole new soundtrack.

They're going to do.

Mr.

Quinn, while we're at it, though,

maybe we should just get rid of the country bears because it paints hillbillies in a bad light.

Dude, we just spent all this money

taking the fucking goddamn Song of the South water splash ride and turning it into some fucking Princess Frog bullshit.

And now you want to replace the bears?

Hillbilly, sir.

You're right.

Get them out.

Get the bears out.

Get the bears out.

Get them out.

What's urban?

What's an urban animal?

Like a Rottweiler.

It's the country.

It's the urban Rottweiler jamboree.

Can we say Jamboree?

Let me check.

The wind is blowing and saying no, Mr.

Wind.

Jamboree is offensive.

Urban Rottweiler.

I need help here, people.

What did he say?

Says here, Walt Disney originally intended the Country Bear Jamboree to be a show at his planned Mineral King ski resort in California in the 1960s.

Disney wanted the show to entertain guests and feature a bear band and assigned the project to a couple guys.

They came up with many bear groups, including Dixi Land Bears.

That would be canceled by today.

Mariachi Bands and Bear Marching Bands.

So

you had to think about it.

So they were not in any cartoons

anybody would recognize them.

Yeah, specifically for this.

All right.

I just green lit the urban Rottweilers rap battle.

Guys.

But, Mr.

Quinn, what about appropriation?

Yeah.

Do you forget?

I'm going to quit my job.

I'll quit my job.

You guys hire

a minority to do it.

Done, sir.

All right.

Thank you.

Got someone to escort you off the premises immediately.

Just give me that Katana sword.

Just give me that Katana sword.

I'll just fall on it.

I'll just kill myself.

You could pave me onto the new fucking space, whatever name it is.

Record me doing it, please.

I'm posting.

Listen, do they tear up a quality mountain?

I knew Space Mountain yet.

Bury me under that.

And the second Elkie is...

No, I think Elkie's probably offensive.

Oh, absolutely.

Well, I can say that, though, because people would call me a druggie, so fuck them.

I can say Elkie.

Ingrid Andres, who I had never heard of before.

Her concerts were canceled after her drunk home run derby national anthem and that she revealed she was going to rehab.

Now, are you familiar with this singer?

Keaton was mentioning this to to me, that somebody performed the Star-Spangled Banner in a not

celebratory or in a nice or proper way.

Yeah, not respectful.

I haven't heard it, though.

It's pretty bad.

Like, I mean, you heard Roseanne's.

I would put it up against Roseanne's any day.

But Roseanne was trying to be funny.

She was purposely.

She knew she couldn't sing.

She was purposely being offensive.

Whereas I think this lady was just drunk.

And then she canceled all her concerts and she's like, I'm going to go to rehab.

She said, I'm not going to bullshit y'all.

I was drunk last night.

I'm checking myself into a facility today to get the help I need.

That was not me last night.

I apologize to MLB, all the fans in this country I love so much for that rendition.

I'll let y'all know how rehab is.

I hear it's super fun.

That's what she wrote.

She's going to be okay.

I think she's going to be just fine.

But I wonder if she felt she had to go because of the

backlit.

Yeah, but I mean, can't you just be...

Look, when BQ used to first, didn't you used to drink before, like when very early on when you guys toured with IJ?

Yeah.

You used to drink before the shows, and then you stopped very quickly, I remember.

You drink before and during the shows, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You never apologized.

You never had to sign up for rehab?

Nah, you know, that was really back when we were doing like comedy clubs and stuff like that.

By the time you get to theaters, you're like, all right, now people are paying real, they're not paying 10 bucks for a fucking ticket.

Right.

You know what I mean?

It's like when you start charging like $25, $30, $40.

You know what I mean?

You got to be like, all right, I can't really

have the kind of fun I want to have.

I think it's

do you think it was her handler or her

PR person that told her this is probably the way she should handle this?

Probably.

Yeah.

Just go to rehab for a month or whatever.

People will forget.

Oh my God.

I'm sure people have forgotten already with all the horrendous news and all the other much more major news that is coming down the pike hourly.

Yeah, Bob Newhart died.

Yeah, she's somewhere right now.

That Ingrid is like, who died?

Yes.

Thumbs up.

She's celebrating a dancing adult.

She's flying to Chicago right now to blow that fucking statue.

Give me a double.

We're celebrating.

She looks very young, man.

Let's see.

I saw a picture of her.

She's a blonde, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, she looks like she's like 12.

She looks, she's 30.

Oh, my God.

She's 32.

Wow.

The alcohol hasn't gotten to her yet.

No, not yet.

Not that liverlips.

Yep.

That's all I got for this week.

Frank, thanks for joining us.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thanks, buddy.

Thank you.

Sorry I missed you in studio, buddy.

I would have liked to.

We could have hugged each other over our animal.

Whoa, was that?

Yeah, that's all right.

Oh, speaking of animals, I saw that Hawktua girl.

She did her first appearance.

I think she got like

or something.

And she bought a bunch of

food, like animal food, pet food, for a local shelter.

Like bought a bunch of blankets and pet food and was giving back and stuff.

That's Hawktua girl.

Like, is there anything bad about her?

I haven't seen anything yet.

Not yet.

She's a national treasure, as far as I'm concerned.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.