#519: Superfestation

You could spit in their back and tell them it was

really it got in your hand

that worked

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt.

Hello.

And I'm here with BQ.

Hello.

And we were talking about how Giddam is a driving hog.

Well, yeah, I was telling BQ

he wasn't here last week when we kind of talked about our road trip to Florida, me and Giddam.

I guess I got to listen to it, huh?

It's worth it.

Yeah, all right, okay.

Well, like I told Bry and the listeners, I don't know if you, since you didn't listen to it,

he showed up at my house at 11.30.

He's supposed to be there at 11 on Wednesday.

He didn't say anything.

That was okay.

But

I don't want to start the long road road trip off on the wrong foot.

Be like, why the fuck were you a half hour late?

Don't want to start the trip off with accountability.

And so he showed up at 11.30.

He got in the car and then we didn't part from each other's side

only for bathroom breaks

until

Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock.

Wow.

Hamming slept in the same room.

Why did you do that?

I wanted to save blue.

There was conspiracy theories that me and Gidham slept in the same room for content reasons.

Like they need content.

That's why they did it.

And I'm like, are you?

Who said we need content?

What's saying that?

I mean, you're bullshit about nothing.

What sort of content do we need?

I just didn't want to, I didn't want to put the financial burden on Blue Juice, who was picking up the tab for the trip.

Yeah.

And, you know, I originally said my wife was going, and then at the last minute, it became Giddam.

I couldn't be like, hey, he needs a room, too.

Okay.

So we just fucked up.

How much of the rooms you could have just.

They were expensive in Florida at the con season.

Oh, I guess, yeah.

And you know what?

I thought it would be a good bonding experience.

Content?

Content.

Yeah, so that's a long time.

Yeah.

That's a long time.

But, you know, he took the

90% of the driving duties, though, which I liked.

How is he a good driver?

I would say he, I mean, we only got lost once, and that was on when I had the wheel.

So that's just a lot.

I'm a big enough man to admit that.

Yeah.

You got lost on I-95.

Fucking straight street.

You go out of Amport Plaza, you make a left.

You make a slight left, then you make another left, and then you're in Florida.

It wasn't my fault.

I swear to God, you can bring him in here and ask him.

My GPS told us to get off, and all of a sudden, we're in the middle of downtown Washington.

I was going fucking livid too.

And we were like, it,

the little pathways it took us to were shockingly small too and concerning.

Yeah.

It's a DC too.

And then finally we're able to get back because he had never driven it and I have driven it a couple of times, but I don't pay attention to road signs or things.

Like I'm kind of like taking it all in.

I'm not like.

concentrated on the road.

No, just because I'm driving.

Why would he do that?

I saw lots of guys like you on my way to Ohio, where I'm like, What the fuck is this guy doing?

Why is he doing this?

Driving to Ohio this last time has made me almost afraid to drive.

Like, really?

Yeah, I'm like, is that it?

Like, have I hit the age where I'm like, because I know my fucking, I don't know about you, but like when you drive at night, Walt,

is it way worse now?

Well, it's, it's, you know, everything looks a bit darker, and you're kind of just like, why don't they put street lights on these?

Yes, exactly.

Like, there are

why fucking tax dollars you're going to waste it and there should be streetlights why are they giving money to the ukraine i can't see it then

putting lights up in the ukraine

yeah it's it's a bit rougher at this age to drive in the evening though

it's just going to keep happening everything wow i haven't hit this yet yeah it's coming yeah it's coming

timid timidness don't think for a second you're going to avoid it or you're going to somehow like like be the one who gets away from Father Time.

But youth, well, no, but youth, but there are certainly people who get older and don't get a little

Lily Livard behind the wheel, right?

Like some people.

Who said that?

Who said that?

Who the fuck is saying that, Lily-Livard?

I'm not Lily Livard.

Somebody else will get behind the wheel.

I'm not going to be like, I'm not going to

say now I got to drive.

No, wait, man, I'll sit in the passenger seat and

chill out.

No, no, I'm just saying.

I'm on the radio.

Driving at night's harder.

But it can't be for everybody.

Well, it's going to be.

Well, you think that anybody who is our age isn't affected by

the sight, you know, the kind of dark

orbs?

Like the lights that you do have, they're like, they blow out.

They're like haloed and shit.

I'm like, where are we?

What's going on with your eyes?

What do you mean?

They're getting old.

What do you mean?

Your eyes get old.

And they start

with glasses.

We do, but I mean, I got them at CVS.

I mean, they don't fucking.

And it's for close-up stuff, too.

I don't trust doctors.

Are you kidding me?

I trust the fucking 16-year-old at the CVS.

How do these look?

All right.

Let's help me drive at night, you think?

If you leave me alone, you can just have them.

You remember blue blockers?

Oh, yeah.

I used to sing the songs.

Yeah.

They don't work.

I got those too for driving anything.

They don't work?

They don't do anything.

I've read that

any glasses with any tint to them at night are detrimental.

Because I got put on those yellow sunglasses sometimes, like the blue blockers.

Like, I have these yellow ray-bands.

They don't really work that great.

They don't cut down on the light or anything.

No.

I'm like, why do I even have them?

Because they look too stupid for the day.

They don't work at night.

Well, you guys,

you guys reminded me of something.

I don't know if you guys read the news that they successfully de-aged a mouse.

Oh, yeah?

About that, motherfuckers.

Really?

How de-aging are we talking?

What are we talking about here?

We're talking fucking done deal.

It's a baby again?

Yeah, it's not a baby, but I'll show you a picture of the mouse, right?

And

its sister that was born at the same time.

Did it involve HGH?

That's the mouse.

That's the sister born at the same time.

And we're not talking about preventing aging.

They reversed the aging of the mouse.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The one on the left that's totally black.

The one with the gray mouse with the fucking.

So I got something that I got this box that does that.

It's called fucking just for men.

No.

A couple of swipes?

This is this.

How this is not the biggest news of all time right now is fucking crazy.

goes, He goes, we know that we can reverse the age of an organ like the brain in a mouse.

The diseases of aging going away.

Memory comes back.

There is no more dementia.

This guy at Harvard is treating aging like a disease and wants to cure it.

He is going to be,

he's going to have so much money if this is something that could be done in humans.

Yeah.

Or at least some

pharmaceutical company will.

And this guy's saying,

you got to read this article.

I'll send you the link.

This guy's saying, this is a done deal.

He's like, we got it.

He's like, we got it in mice.

We were reversing aging in mice.

He goes, it's just a matter of time.

He goes, most people living today have a good shot at getting de-aged.

What will the cost be, though?

They'll make it so high that because

everybody will just do it then if it's like, you know, a couple of Botox treatments, you know.

Yeah.

But if they, but if they have to make it so high, because if everybody does it, there'll be no place for, you know, the children

right now.

I know what you're saying.

Right?

Yeah, I hear you.

What, that, like, a BQ will be eligible for it?

Practical joke of season 30.

Wow, would you take it?

Absolutely.

I'd wait till I was like really, really old, though.

Yeah.

And make sure that kinks are out.

No, well, okay, I see what you're saying kinks wise, but what he's saying is it's not a one-time process.

He could de-age you 20 years

and then you age naturally the 20 years.

Oh, you do it again?

You could do it fucking again.

He goes, there's no limit.

Something's got to give, though, then.

When are you going to?

I'm not giving.

Not me.

Is that playing with the natural order, though?

Yeah, for sure.

Like, what will

the knock-on effect be of something like that with the planet, though?

Can the planet take

that kind of like,

you know, what we need people to die off so there's room for other new people?

Well, if you listen to people today, a lot of people today, they think there's too many people in the world already.

So you're right.

If like exponentially, people are like, I'll take another 20 years.

Like, who, like, assuming that it's like somewhat affordable, like you say, like Botox or something, who the fuck wouldn't do it?

Like,

but like, when it says de-age, like, can they like, how are they just de-aging your brain?

No, it's de-aging.

Your skin.

Everything.

Everything.

What was some of the things that did he give away the key or is he keeping it a story?

He describes the whole thing, but like, the only problem is right now is that the procedure causes cancer.

But they're working on that.

They're working on that.

There's a caveat.

They're working on it.

It's just a matter of time, boys.

See, 46, they go 30 years.

It has to be something fucking bad.

It can't just be like, holy shit, they did it.

Well, that's it.

Like they can change people.

However,

God put that into place probably to make sure there is no fucking magic bullet.

You know, he has to make sure that things work the way he fucking

laid it down.

This is like playing God.

No, this is great.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe, maybe there's a rule.

Like, the first people who get it are people that have no kids because they didn't put replacements on the planet.

That's a good thing.

That would be fair.

Then you get people not having kids.

As Americans, I think already, well, like our birth rate is plummeting to the point where we're going to have to import

people from other countries to take care of us as we grow older.

I read an article.

I think we just got two million of them, didn't we?

After Biden's migration.

Oh, why did they change that?

No, no, they said that about 2 million new people have entered the country since.

You think they want to wipe our asses as we age?

Right.

Somebody's got to do it, right?

And if you're walking all the way from Guatemala, it's probably better than wherever you came from.

Like, if you walk that far, yeah.

Like, I'll wipe an ass if it means that I'm not going to get

whatever's going on.

Yeah.

But this was fucking crazy to me.

I couldn't believe this wasn't the biggest news in the world.

Like, that's the start of everything.

People care more about Johnny Depp and Amber Amber Heard.

Who gives a fuck about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard?

This guy is out there reversing age.

Well, like you said, though, it's not without its

part of the on.

We're seeing, we're, we're, you guys aren't excited that we're at this process.

I don't believe it'll ever be released to the mass, the masses.

I just don't believe it.

I just think that it will be

hoarded by the powerful and the elite, as they always do.

And the, and the fucking schlubs

will be forced to age and be like, well, I read an article in 2022.

Tough luck, fucker.

Wow.

Get lost.

Will Q make that cut?

Will Will Q make that cut?

Is he elite enough, do you think?

I'm not.

I don't know.

I don't think so.

I don't know.

I don't want to.

I mean, he's close, but I don't want to say he's.

If they're cutting it off like that, if they're kicking the ladder out for everybody else, I don't think one-fourth of the impractical jokers makes it.

But I was thinking, though, like,

I drove across this country.

I know you fly above a queue, but I drove across it.

And

was that even necessary?

With the millions of other people.

With the commercially available air flight for $300, I fly above it.

But there is so much unused land.

For everybody who's saying, like, there's not enough room, there is a ton of room.

They just got to develop it.

Yeah.

There is so much open space areas.

Let's ruin it all.

Let's put up houses.

They do do it in Jersey.

I mean, you can't find a square inch that isn't being developed in Jersey.

Why not go out there?

Why not?

I mean, what it takes is going to take some money, but I think it's possible and it can be done to start developing all these dead zones, these forbidden zones that are across America that are just like downtown D.C.

Where there's nothing.

You could drive for hours in any direction and there's nothing.

I mean, it's all desert, but you could build some high-powered AC out there and make it really.

well.

Water is the issue now out there, right?

You can't go too far west at this point because water's turning into an issue.

Can't we just...

Well, I heard about the Pam and Ider went out to visit Eric.

It was actually, how was it out there?

All they wanted to talk about was the water table, how Eric

was going to get a regulator if he used too much water.

Really?

They're not used to having their water,

you know, watched over by the man.

No, not at all.

Plenty of water.

But yeah, that's all I heard.

From a two-week trip.

What's up?

Do you have wells out there?

I guess not.

No.

It's a desert.

But like I said, there's a ton of land that can be used if they want to

invest in it.

It would cost a fucking fortune, but

I forgot last,

speaking of cancer, I forgot last week to tell you I was when,

you know, I went to Mary Beth's grandfather's funeral and all that stuff.

And after the funeral, we went back to his house.

What you said to me me on, I don't know if you want to cut it out, what you said to me on text where it resolved itself.

Oh, it resolved itself.

It was like, how's it going?

I just wrote, it resolved itself.

Text him, I was like, how's it going?

I was checking in with

grandfather.

He goes, it resolved itself, meaning that he passed away.

I mean, who expects more or less from Brian Johnson?

Oh, absolutely.

What was my response?

Do you remember my response?

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

Your grandfather-in-law passes away.

But so there's a guy there at, like, we go to the grandfather's house after the funeral, and it's me and her dad, her mom, her aunt, and a couple people drop it in here and there.

And a guy comes by, and he's an appraiser because he's going to appraise everything in the house.

Now, this is like one of those, not a hoarder house, but a collector house.

So is it, what, can I just ask you?

Yeah, go ahead.

Is this an unplanned arrival or is this something that when everybody dies, this appraiser comes?

This was planned, but I was surprised so soon after the funeral.

Like, I'm talking an hour

after the funeral.

The guy was there appraising his house.

He's going to appraise it, everything that's in the house and for what are they going to have an estate sale?

Yeah, to have an estate sale.

Oh, okay.

Right.

So

he starts, you know, he's talking to the dad, and he's talking to her mom, and

I assume that he knows them because it's a very small small town and you know they used to live there and shit so I assume that they know him and the guy goes into this story about

his mom and he's like yeah my mom you know we lost her about six months ago she was fine totally fine she had um but one morning she woke up she had a hot spot on her back I don't know what this what I what it meant but I guess you know like a little lump or something or whatever

hot spot on her back so she goes to the

she goes to the hospital and they tell her that it's cancer.

And on the way out of the the way out of the

hospital, she falls.

Now she's like 80-something, like 85 or something.

Her husband's equally as old.

He's about 85.

So the husband, you know,

is fragile.

He can hardly pick her up.

So he tries to pick her up by one arm.

He's like, her arm pops out of the socket.

He goes, like, basically exploded.

And then she goes back into the hospital because she's right there.

And then two days later, she dies.

And I'm thinking, the whole time he's telling this, I'm like, why are you saying this?

Like,

why are you telling this?

What a horrific story to hear.

And Mary Beth said, like, he sounded like, I don't know, maybe I was reading it wrong, but he sounded kind of short where it's like, well, you know, just so you can relate to people.

And I don't know if he was taking a shot at me that I have a hard time relating.

You think so?

Yeah.

Could you ask, because I'm sure you questioned the father.

Like, after he left, why would he tell that story?

Yes.

The fact that you have to ask and you didn't realize he was talking about that.

I don't have a good time.

Mary Beth said the same thing about me.

She was like, you're not good at empathizing.

But I'm like, I don't know.

What am I saying?

That hasn't been my experience.

Yeah, I think I'm pretty empathetic.

I don't know.

I just think it's fucked up to tell a room full of people that just came back from a funeral, like in such graphic detail about how your mom's arm socket exploded.

I'm more surprised that you weren't excited to hear the the story.

I was just like, I couldn't believe it.

I guess the part I couldn't believe was I was like, you don't know him?

It's just a guy.

But that seems very, I mean,

not to pile on about that, but it seems very presumptuous to believe that like

you coming from the big city, now going to fucking

the country.

Everybody knows each other in the town.

What an assumption.

You don't know that hick?

Yeah.

I thought all you hay seeds knew each other.

You're not related to that

That is a weird thing to just assume, though.

But they were talking so familiar, I guess.

I guess it was so familiar.

And then once he told that story, I was like, that's a story that I would tell you guys.

I don't know that I would be like, yeah, so then Pam's arm exploded.

She was in racked with pain for the last two days of her life.

Let me ask you guys a question based off that.

Do you guys think you could take a fall right now?

An unexpected fall.

Like, put my hands.

I can't.

I don't put my hands out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, without major injury.

Um,

yeah, yeah, you can.

The hesitation says it all.

You probably can't, yeah.

Hughes are ready.

Like, he already said to me, he's like, yeah, of course.

I know he's so copy this.

I mean, I take falls.

Yeah, that's true.

That's going to come back to me later on in life.

Oh, no.

All these prett falls and shit.

All these hijinks.

Yeah, a lot of hijinks.

Because I fell the other day, and I was pretty proud of myself.

Yeah, I took a big tumble and I kind of just shook it off.

I was like, holy shit, I could take a fall like a fucking 20-year-old.

Nice.

Well, where did you get it?

The dogs knocked me down the stairs as I was fucking carrying a box.

These stairs are stairs at home?

The stairs at home.

It was only two stairs, but

it wasn't the

top of the stairs.

Dude, you fall the wrong way.

I watch videos on TV where I'm like, I see people like, it's like instant regret videos or instant karma videos.

It's like people falling and hitting the backs of their heads.

And I'm like, I wonder if they're still alive.

And then people off camera are like, ah, ha ha ha, like laughing to fall.

Like, they could be hurt.

It's interesting you brought that up because I have a choice in front of me.

I actually wasn't planning on bringing this up on the podcast, but we're here.

I got an offer to begin

a wrestling career, pro-wrestling.

As a wrestler or a manager?

As a wrestler.

Now, it would only be for a one-time kind of

gimmick storyline, but I have to go down to Atlanta to train.

How long?

10 to 15 days.

It can be done in groups.

You know, I don't have to go down for 15 days.

I think, why would you not?

Why would I not, right?

Why would you not?

You're more than capable of doing the training.

I'm sure they're not asking you to fucking do

jumps from like the top of the steel cage to

stick tax on his back.

Backflips and shit, right?

I'm sure.

Backflips?

No, that would be amazing.

So I'm a little bit, I'm on a crossroads because I'm like, what do I do?

Because is this the sort of thing that I do?

And then I get in there and then I break a spine.

I've seen a lot of spinals in my day, dude.

Is this a passion project or

is this something you're going to be paid handsomely for?

No, I doubt there's a handsome payment in it.

So this is going to have to be all about passion then.

And any injuries that could happen would have to be,

you have to think about the

this is it.

This is what I'm weighing.

Yeah, I mean, I still think if you don't, you'll regret it, though.

Yeah, you love wrestling, love it.

And I mean, I did just die with sharks.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, if it's

got to up the anti, yeah, you can play one game in the NFL as quarterback.

You think I'd be like, no, I only needs a week in Mill Atlanta, and I could do it.

Wow, all right.

I mean, I wouldn't do it well, but I mean, just

how many interceptions do you think you'd throw?

I would only throw screens and handle off

My last play, unless I get fucking bombed and get injured before, then I would throw maybe a bomb.

Okay.

But otherwise, it would just be handoffs and little screens

out in the flat.

Yeah.

But yeah, I would do it.

Q1.

Do it.

Don't worry about it.

Love it.

No, yeah, because you'll regret it in a couple years when you're not, you know, when you're like, I should have did that.

It's funny because I ask my female friends and they're like, maybe not.

All my male friends are like, you fucking crazy.

Get down there.

well it really it really depends on what they're asking you to do what is the what is the physical

um requirements right of the gig like how crazy is it i was told that

well it's something similar to what shaq did shaq did something recently he took a table they put him through a table and stuff like that

and so it's not a heavy lift but you want to have a little fun with it too you know what i mean

so i think i got to do it it's more of a time thing thing than anything, like just finding the time.

And is this for, I'm sure, one of the big major wrestling it would, it would probably be with, yeah, one of them.

Unless you're not allowed to mention it right now.

I don't, I'm sure I am allowed to.

I just hate saying things too much before they're, you know what I mean?

But yeah, it would be.

I mean, obviously.

So this would be on television or pay-per-view?

Oh, I don't know about that.

Might even be dark matches.

Might not even be for TV.

Who knows?

Yeah.

You're going to do it and you're not going to get on TV.

You want to get the glory?

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

I don't know the plan.

I don't know the plan.

It's got to be the fucking event of WrestleMania.

It will not be that.

It's got to be.

When you sign on, it's got to be the fucking marquee match of that night.

Yeah, maybe a Monday night or Wednesday night or something like that.

I don't think

a pay-per-view main event.

Are they asking Sal too or just you?

Well, they asked me, but I told them that, look,

we have to,

it has to be extended to everybody.

I was like, I can't, like, that's, but I don't think that they would do it.

Could you and Sal just wrestle as like a tag team match against, like, the

church?

The problem I think that Sal's going to have is he's touring so much now that I don't think he's ever going to have time to do the training.

Gotcha.

So it would be.

And Murray might do it.

Murray might.

We'll see.

We'll see.

I don't know.

He loves wrestling just as much as you, or do you love it more?

It's probably one, me, two, Sal, three, Murray situation.

Oh, Murray does like it, enjoy it as well.

He very peripherally watches it.

As a kid, he loved it.

And like, you know, it's kind of grew away from it, but it comes back.

Yeah, but I think he still enjoys watching it from time to time.

I mean, who doesn't?

It's just fucking fun.

So, so, all right, so I'll do it.

I mean, you could come back here and maybe show us some moves for a Patreon video.

Train get him to be, you know, a wrestler.

Oh, my God.

Get him in a singlet.

Yeah.

Maybe we could do, we keep wanting to do like a four-color demons

meetup or something.

Maybe we could do it with like a wrestling ring.

I would love to see the get-up.

Do you ever see that move where

you put the guy's head right in your crotch area of the pile driver?

Yeah.

You could just like practice that with him over and over again, like a slow motion.

On the Cooper Cam.

Now you got to face me.

Face me like a man.

Okay, now reverse.

All right, I'm going to do it.

All right.

I'm on it.

Thank you, boys.

Although, I got to say, I'm

a little concerned about Q.

We were supposed to record yesterday, but he had the sniffles, had a cold.

I think it could be this constant hobnobbing that he's doing.

Yeah.

Every time I look at Instagram or something, he's somewhere.

He's in Las Vegas.

He's in Los Angeles.

He's at the Friars Club.

Oh, that was fucking beat that I missed that.

That sucks.

Yeah.

Yeah,

it was fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was great.

Yeah, in the past three weeks,

I got COVID again.

Oh, I didn't know this.

Did you know this?

No, I didn't know.

Yeah, my LA trip got ruined.

Where do you think you caught it?

Hobnobbing?

I had to be hoping.

Probably at the fucking Friars Club.

You think?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or no, that was after.

Probably, I don't know where.

Maybe Sal's show.

Maybe Sal's show with the Beacon.

Sal's a fucking COVID magnet, man.

And then, so then I went to AEW.

I went out to, I was in Vegas Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Flew home Monday, but when I landed Monday,

I just start sneezing, coughing,

get all the symptoms all over again.

I had a fever, negative, negative, negative.

I just had a cold.

I spent like fucking three weeks with it feeling like shit.

It was terrible.

Yeah, because it is because I'm going out, like going out amongst people now.

Yeah.

You know, I got to say, it's, you know, knock whatever the fuck this table is made out of.

Not wood.

I know.

Maybe underneath knock press board.

I have yet to, I've heard so many people have gotten it multiple times.

I've yet to get it, though.

If I didn't have it that first time.

I bet you have had it already.

You think so?

Just didn't know it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think there's anybody who hasn't really gotten it yet.

Right.

Yeah, it's just the symptoms are worse and some people realize that they had it.

And I'm wearing that mask everywhere, man.

You're wearing the mask?

Oh, I know everybody in the airport's not wearing masks.

I'm still wearing masks

and all that stuff, but it's just that what are you going to do?

But then you go to Tracy Morgan's thing, you're in people's faces, and somebody gives you COVID.

Maybe it was Tracy himself.

That would be pretty sweet.

At least you got it from a major celebrity.

Yeah, so yeah.

So yesterday I had the sniffles.

I didn't want to get anybody sick.

I was supposed to go to Atlantic City last night.

What I was going to drive down here, I was going to do tell him Steve Dave, then I was going to keep going to AC to meet the firehouse guys.

But I had such a fucking pounding headache last night that I was like, I can't.

Fuck it.

I was like, what am I going to do?

Plus, if I'm still sick, I don't want to get you guys sick.

You know what I mean?

Right.

And then I woke up this morning feeling great.

Here we are.

Good for you.

And yeah.

The rest is history.

So now I've already had a cold.

I've had COVID already.

I'm pretty bulletproof now, maybe for the rest of the year.

I'm pretty excited about that.

Your wrestling career is right on track.

That's it.

Nothing can stop me now.

We start shooting Jokers again in two weeks, so I don't have to worry about getting sick for that.

Now, have you considered a name yet for yourself?

Like what?

I don't know.

Oh,

you know, like Stone Cold, Brian Quinn.

I had Abrasive Brian was going to be my heel persona.

You're going to be a heel?

I don't know if I'll be allowed to do the storyline I want to do.

Yeah, I think it's going to have to be, you know, some sort of crossover with Jokers or something.

But that's all right.

I'll take what I can get, Walt.

Yeah.

Would you do it, Walt?

Would you

if the offer was extended?

I mean, you've been wrestling, but like recently you've fallen down the stairs and proven yourself.

Right, that's what I'm saying.

I'm like, come on, guys.

I'm one of these 30 NFL teams.

Should take a shot on a 50-something-year-old dude who could fall down two stairs.

Yeah, you're like, what was that

Marky Mark movie where you got?

Oh, Miracle.

Was it Miracle?

No, it wasn't Miracle.

I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, where he walked on as the special teams

for the Eagles.

That was a good movie.

I had a story I wanted to ask you guys.

Did you ever heard of something called a

Raycon?

Yes, I have, as a matter of fact.

Oh, I love those Raycons.

They just sent me the sport ones.

Yeah, you got the sport ones?

Oh, they're awesome.

They're fucking amazing.

Yeah, I really like them as well.

They are.

Let's see, getting in the zone.

You know what really sucks?

Getting in the zone on the treadmill or pumping to finish that last rep.

Yeah, I can relate to that.

And your earbuds fall out of your ears.

Music stops.

Pumped up mood, gone.

That happens sometimes, like when I used to use

different

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Like, I would sleep with them in, and the stems would make them fall out.

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Come on, what more do you need to know?

Best of the year.

Like I go on the internet and I look up shit and I'm like, all right, I need to buy something.

I was like, best, well, fill in the blank.

And then that's what I look for.

You know, usually I can't afford it, but still.

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Boom.

Done.

Now I come here from Walt finally.

Have you guys ever heard of the term super festation?

No.

It's cool, right?

Sounds awesome.

It doesn't, actually.

No, because I think of infestation, and infestation is something you don't want around.

Oh, really?

And then you add super to it.

Super infestation, though.

Festation.

What does festation mean?

I know it's a fair thing.

It's a festival?

I don't know.

Superfestation is when a woman is pregnant, months pregnant.

That was the story, right?

Gross.

And then she gets pregnant again.

What?

Yes, I didn't know it was possible either.

Only three.

0.3% of pregnant women suffer from this condition when they get pregnant while they're already pregnant.

How's that possible?

It's possible.

It happened to this woman.

So, what do they cut, like then when the delivery is due, they take the first baby out and then let the second one grow?

Yeah, that's what happened.

Oh, I'd be so annoyed

if you were if you were the husband.

Now you go, she's got all cuts all over, she's all scarred up.

No, it's just like you have one kid on the way, and you think that you're safe.

You planned financially for that.

You bang your wife a little bit because she's pregnant.

You know,

you let it fly.

You want to make a steal.

Yeah, you just let the fucking.

Yeah, that's her.

Wow.

That's hard.

I would have allowed myself for medical reasons to be the subject of this article, but I don't know if I would go on record as my name and picture or anything.

I don't know, because she just looks like it's like

she's super like fertile.

You don't like that?

Yeah, I don't know.

I might be a little like, you know, then it looks like that's all we're working.

That's all we do.

Yeah, she is surrounded by children already.

Like, how many more fucking kids do you need that you're getting super pregnant?

Yeah, but super festation.

Oof, I never heard of that.

Yeah, I didn't.

Yeah, it's a very, very rare condition or event that happens, but you wouldn't want to

be able to call yourself a super festation baby.

Oh, that would be crazy.

If I was a super festation baby, it's on his Wikipedia.

Did you just say that now?

Yeah.

So, did you know?

know, somebody out there, you know how to edit Wikipedia?

Superfestation, baby.

Superfestation.

Superfestation.

How did this come to your attention?

At least I got a title for this week.

When we were in

Ohio, I went, I'll be curious to see if this even registers.

Well, you go to a lot of chain restaurants.

I only go to chain restaurants.

Only go.

If it's a mom-pa restaurant, I will say, I have to say, I have to admit, I will not go in there just for

fear that, you know, of the unknown, at least with a chain, I know what I'm getting.

Right.

It tastes the same all the time and usually agrees with me, so I'm not willing to take that

fucking spin the

chambers on that gun

and eat at a place.

Russian roulette, you know, with a strange

recipe of chicken fingers when I know the chicken fingers that work.

Now, would you consider okay, so you're at Denny's.

Do you consider that like higher or lower on the level of chain restaurants and, say, an olive garden or a chili's?

I think that public perception is that it's lower than an olive garden.

You know, I would say that

they've been stigmatized, Denny's, as like, you know,

like a trow, a trough, whatever you want to call it.

Trough, yeah, I would say you're right.

You know, unfairly, I'll say.

I will

go to bat friendlies or I will go to bat for Denny's and

12 times on the way to Florida.

I'm not going to die in a battle for them, but I'll go to, you know, I'll stand up.

I'll be the one man that stands up and says, you know, this is as good as Olive Garden.

Can't I be a spokesman?

I think you could be.

Why not?

And they have all kinds of just like average guys being spokesmen.

Like those two guys for Sonic.

I haven't seen the commercials in a while, but I'm just like, why can't that be you?

Yeah.

I don't know why not.

Probably you don't apply for audition or any of that kind of shit.

Why are you bringing up Olive Garden?

I went to Olive Garden, and by no means do I think this is like a high-class restaurant, but I saw a guy there who he's wearing a tank top, you know, like a guinea tea type thing.

He's got a bathing suit on, and he's wearing flip-flops.

And to me, I'm.

Oh my gosh.

Are you going to sit here and tell me you think he's not underdressed?

I think he's underdressed.

Wow, Brian Johnson.

For the Olive Garden.

Even for the Olive Garden.

The reason we went

a little bit.

Wow.

My black tie.

Putting on the writs and shit while you're fucking.

What is a proper attire then?

I think.

Just the sleeves?

It's the sleeves.

I don't want to see your fucking armpit hair when I'm eating, man.

You know?

And I certainly don't want to see your fucking hairy toes.

Like, if you're like, if you're like a

table,

I have to inspect them.

Busted.

I mean, if you're like, if you're at a casual place,

I think the Mickey D's, the McDonald's, anything along that level.

Like, even Sage knows.

That, like, she's like, I want to go to a fancy restaurant.

She knows what a fancy restaurant is versus like a middle restaurant versus like low end.

Like, she considers Red Robin.

She's like, that's middle.

She's like, that's kind of fancy.

You need sleeves to the Red Robin.

I'd say you should wear sleeves and red robin.

That's how you lose the common man, though.

Good.

Have you met the common man?

Who needs him?

We need him.

TSD needs the common man and woman.

Are you out of your mind?

I don't need anybody.

He's the age.

He goes to speed.

People are turning off in droves.

Q looks like he's 13 again.

Hey, guys.

I'm an old man being like, put on a shirt.

Why don't you?

I drive out of here, but I can't see.

You know, think back to a young Brian Johnson.

You would have never even noticed what other people are wearing.

I remember

you've crossed over the threshold of like...

Grumpy old man.

I guess

your olive garden's got no sleeves.

Yeah.

It's really the no-sleeve thing that bothers me.

Sandals are like, okay, that's, you know,

people wear them.

But the armpit hair is just like, I mean, they were fucking hillbillies, too.

That was the other thing where they're just like all loud and hickish and shit.

Felt like I was eating next to Maxwell.

Yeah, I don't want to eat in any restaurant that has a dress code.

That to me is a red flag.

Like, I'm not going to enjoy this.

I'm not going to enjoy this.

It's going to come out like little tiny portions with all these little garnishes, you know, to make up for the fact it tastes like shit.

So, if you go to char,

oh, forget char.

I hate it.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know you mentioned that earlier.

We fucking ordered that fucking food you paid for, and we fucking left it on the fucking table, and we walked the fuck out of that place.

Proud.

Yeah,

we ripped off.

Who would eat this shit?

We ripped off our monkey suits and got into our tight tops, hated suits.

And I even was going to wear sandals until my wife said, no fucking way, that's too far.

Nobody wants to see those toes.

You're our pit hair, okay.

Yeah, I just think it takes a certain lack of couf to wear a tank top to anything other than

eat at Olive Garden.

Yeah, well, that too.

We can't agree with this, right?

I don't know if it would bother me me at a Olive Garden, per se, but

I do think eventually you get to a level where

you should not be wearing tank tops in restaurants.

I don't know if Olive Garden is it.

Okay, but there's a line.

But shouldn't that line be drawn in by the restaurant?

Yeah.

And if Olive Garden doesn't have a dress phone.

Well, you're talking about a fucking chain that is widely known for just being on the sides of roads, right?

Like

so it's like it's people who are driving, who are just dressed for driving.

Yeah, there was a big hotel.

I mean, but at the same time, what, you can't drive in a fucking t-shirt instead of a tank top?

I know, but now think about what you're saying.

Controlling what they wear when they're driving.

And listen, I've had fucking some good meals at Olive Garden.

I'm not here to ride down Olive Garden.

Oh, but the breadsticks, come on.

Come on, man.

It's like you're there, your family.

It's fucking great.

I'm not, please, nobody think that I'm ripping on Olive Garden.

Is that the slogan?

When you hear your family, isn't that Olive Garden?

I was going to say, because if that isn't our our slogan, that should be.

Yeah, I think that's our

slogan.

So to me, but it's just what I mean to say is what I'm trying to say is any restaurant who's mainly known for being a roadside thing, I don't think you really can combine, complain too much about what people are wearing to a certain degree.

I hear what you're saying.

I mean, I didn't complain.

I didn't make a racket about it.

I don't think I would probably feel how you felt, but

I don't know that I would let it bother me too much.

Yeah.

We stayed.

We didn't walk walk out.

Yeah, all right.

Dealt with it.

He was all the way across the room anyway.

I just happened to notice.

I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't wear a tank top into the Olivegorn.

But so I understand.

So I guess I agree with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Elitists.

Yeah,

I'm going to say I'm curious what the pulse will be after that fucking revelation that

you think that many people in the audience are like.

I think almost 99% of the TSD listeners wear t-shirts to restaurants.

Well, not a t-shirt.

I mean, a tank top, wood, in the summer.

Well, then why the fuck aren't we selling food called a demon tank top?

I've been trying to get them to sell tank tops for fucking years.

He won't do it.

I think because our listeners are

self-aware enough to know not to wear it, though.

Some, you know.

Unless you're fucking like ripped, jacked,

you really shouldn't have a fucking tank top on.

Well, I'm talking about the females.

I'm not saying it for the guys.

The females?

Females have been demanding tank tops for years.

Oh, yeah.

Demanding.

I've told you,

I can't tell you how many fucking 13%ers are like, why doesn't Walt make tank tops?

I'm like, I don't know.

Tank tops?

Really?

Yeah, they love them.

All right.

Yeah.

Just any tank top.

What do you mean?

Like,

there's a certain design they want to do?

Tank top with a four-color demon on it.

I think it would sell well.

Yeah.

That's my feeling.

Now, is it a low-cut one or is it a high-cut one?

You know, there's all sorts of different cuts.

I'll investigate.

Okay.

I'll find out.

I'll find out what the people are demanding.

Nice.

It's kind of,

you know.

I mean, no wearing an olive garden.

It's kind of hypocritical.

Now, all of a sudden, now you're like, we must have

tank tops.

Have you just fucking the tank top industry is now fucking your public enemy number one on their list?

And now you want to

sell us tank tops at this point.

A girl in a tank top, totally different.

Nice shoulders,

nice clean armpits unless they're hippie or something.

Whatever.

There's a tank top I can get behind.

Yeah.

Some guy fucking wolfing down fucking free salad and breadsticks.

Yeah.

Also, the sandals are more acceptable on women, too.

Pretty dainty feet.

All painted toenails and shit.

No hair.

No hobbit-like fucking hair.

Yeah.

They're just cleaner.

They're sleeker, women.

So pretty.

So that was it.

So, so, wait, what, what, um,

any highlights about, I know you already talked about this last week, anything I should know about Florida for like long-term Tellum Steve, Dave, lore or anything like that?

I mean, the fact that they didn't do anything aside from go to Universal once.

Well, that was fun.

But at nighttime, Walt said he was like, we're going back to the room.

I didn't force him to.

I said, I'm going back to the room.

I'm not doing anything.

And, you know, he was

not even any pupil.

A little mini golf?

No, nothing.

Nothing.

I told Gidden.

Giddam wasn't like using his local celebrity to

get some booth babes or nothing like that.

Nothing.

You mean women didn't see fucking people lining up to take pictures with Giddam and not be like, who is that?

I'm intrigued.

They may have been, but none that came over to investigate any further than like, who is that?

From a distance.

They're okay.

Have you ever heard another grown man squeal?

Oh, this is funny.

No, no.

I mean a real squeal.

No.

Okay.

I heard it no less than 10 times.

Get him squeals?

Get him squeals when he gets overly stimulated.

Is that like an autism thing?

I say an orgasm thing?

That's what I was hoping for.

He says it may be.

Yeah, but.

Well, what does it squeal?

What does it sound like?

It's almost like a squeal of delight, right?

Because he did it last week.

I don't even know if that was a real.

Like, he was trying to fake

squeal as best he could, but they're like,

you can't fake an orgasm.

Dudes can't.

Well, you could spit in their back and tell them it was.

Really?

They got in your hand.

That works.

You know what?

You just want to stop, so you're just

spit in your hand and rub it on their back and be like, oh, thanks, babe.

Really?

Like a real deep fucking luga.

You're not worried that when she goes to clean up, she's like.

Nah, you be a gentleman.

You clean up for her.

Let me go.

You know, did that halfway through?

Just be like, I'm fucking done.

Fuck this.

And, or how,

yeah, how, what is the, what was the day like before you did that that it was so horrible?

You're like, I can't even be bothered to finish it.

I mean, it's happened probably like four or five times in my life where I've been.

You've had to spit and been like,

Done.

Well, yeah, you don't like cock a loo ye on their backs

that noise.

No, that was me orgasm.

You lost the way I do.

I love you.

You're so sexy.

Look at the tank top and the painted nails.

Ah, bored now.

I'm done.

Have you heard?

I know I'm asking the fucking wrong guy.

I'm sure this is the dopiest question, but have you ever heard a woman squeal?

A woman squeal.

It's far more erotic when a woman does it.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I'm here to tell you.

It's not, you know, it's not like.

It's not like

you would, like the sound that one of you guys just made, the pig sound, it doesn't sound like that.

Sound deliverance.

No, no, no, no.

It's not a Ned Beatty type of squeal.

That would be really fucking unnerving.

What is it?

Like an E?

No, it's like...

Oh, my God.

I've never heard a woman do that.

I'm not even doing it justice.

I thought he was teasing at first, but now.

what causes it?

Like, what gets him so excited?

What simulation?

What would you think he would see that would make him make that sound?

God, that I can't possibly answer.

Right?

I wouldn't be surprised by anything.

Yeah, it's but I've known the guy 10 years now.

And you never heard him squeal, right?

No.

Yeah, well,

you weren't in

the presence

of

helicopters taking off and landing.

That was enough to do it.

You can see Keith's face back now.

You were going to say, like, a woman in her cosplay costume came by or something.

No,

that repulsed him.

Yeah, that got him mad.

What do you mean?

He saw some risque,

some really

beyond sexy outfits that, like, he came back to the room fucking ranting and raving that it was wrong.

No.

Yeah.

When were they?

SpongeBob and Patrick or something?

What?

Yeah, it was some weird cosplay thing.

Who's the chick that hangs out with Woody, the cowboy, in Toy Story?

Oh, oh, Jesse and Woody.

Yes.

Okay, so that's right.

And it was a guy and the girl?

Two girls?

It was two girls.

One was Woody, one was Jesse.

Okay.

And

they had dental floss on

the bottom.

On the bottom.

I mean, I don't know.

No squeals.

Yeah.

No squealing.

Like, what, helicopters?

Yeah.

And I was like, I was really blown away that he was that

annoyed by it.

Like, he literally would look it up trying to find who they were, like, con pictures.

Okay, that's not annoyance.

Well, that's he wants to see more of it.

No, because I didn't see it.

Did you see them?

And I'm like, no, I didn't see them.

And that made him search for hours to find a picture of them.

I see.

And he couldn't find them.

And I was like, well, how bad could it have been?

And then he showed me the picture.

And it was just what you think.

It's the

nothing out of the ordinary of a risque, super sexy.

I mean, much like the Olive Garden, I could see how if I was a parent, I'd be like, I don't necessarily want asses hanging out.

Okay.

But as someone with no parents, I'd be like, fucking awesome, man.

It's like I showed up at the right con.

Like, I'm not here to tell these women how to dress.

What was somebody else?

My job, I didn't get hired for that.

I'm here to enjoy what they're doing.

He saw

Moe's Tavern at Universal.

Yes.

He saw that.

He squealed.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He's also into Bent Pennies.

No, elongated pennies.

Oh, we've known that for years.

I didn't know that.

I didn't remember it then.

Oh, I used to get him some from trips.

I would bring him some.

He spent.

He got the Jaws Shark one.

About $50.

And $50 buys you a shit ton of elongated pennies as he was walking.

He showed all of them to me.

He doesn't have a home.

Yeah, but I mean, pennies can go in a jar.

Where does he keep his jar?

He's on his desk on his desk at the general store.

He wanted to buy a display book.

See the penny display.

Yeah, he wanted to buy a display book, and

every fucking

shitty little souvenir shop we went into, he would look and he was like, it's too expensive.

It's too expensive.

He just won't, he won't pull the trigger to put his pennies on display other, you know,

real deal display books.

So the women,

they were good-looking the women, or was it like, please don't dress like that?

They were definitely

fine.

I think he said it was the

context really turned him off.

Like, really turned him off.

And, like, he said, like, you shouldn't sexualize Woody in general.

Oh, my God.

That's where he dropped off.

He said exact words.

Exact words.

You want to hear it from him?

You want to hear it?

You want to hear it?

I'd like to see the costume.

I'd like to see him.

I'm sure it's his wallpaper or something.

No, no.

He doesn't lie.

I'll read the spotlight while you're fetching Giddam.

Get him.

yes.

Oh.

We know what we're reading here.

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Now, let me see what offended you so.

Now, what offended you, that they were scantily clad or they were dressed like...

Whoa.

Okay.

That is.

They were scantily clad.

I didn't see the picture either.

Someone said this was apparently a big buzz on Instagram.

I fucked it up.

I already fucked it up.

I saw her name, though.

Oh, so you weren't the only one on.

No, someone sent this to me, so that's why I was trying to find.

They said this was a big thing, big to-do on Instagram, and people were a little outraged over it.

And they tried to find the account, and so that's why I was buzzing through the mega con.

Anything was hashtag with mega con.

Let me see what's in that account when we're talking.

They're curvy.

These girls.

Is that what offended you?

They're curves.

It was the, like you can,

you can see in this photo, there is very little fabric to skin ratio.

That's a thong, basically.

Yeah.

All right, I got this woman up.

And wow.

So she is dressed like Woody.

Her friend is, well, they have massive giant bosoms.

I didn't, I did not see that when I saw it.

They were walking away from me.

Oh, hello.

I mean, they're just like slobber knockers.

They'll fuck.

I can't even handle this.

Yeah, wow.

They're really going for it, huh?

Like I said, I only saw it from behind, and it was just

here.

They are kissing on the con floor.

Kissing?

You didn't see that, did you, Get them?

No, I did not see that, but I have no problem with that.

I'm totally.

Why would you have a problem with that?

They're hot.

Well, you made it seem like it was something I was a little outraged by.

You were outraged by it.

No, I was not outraged by that.

I was outraged.

There's, I think, the next photo.

I mean,

these are very revealing.

From.

Well, they're attractive women, and they're wearing very revealing clothes.

They look like they're having fun.

And you have a problem with it.

No, I had a problem is that it was marketed as a family-friendly event.

Okay.

And this was very.

Again, I wasn't the only person

who had an issue with it.

The other person at the booth who saw it was like, wow, that's a little overboard.

That was not you, Walt.

No,

he wasn't there.

That's why I was trying to find photos to show him.

And the photo was on, dude, don't do it.

It was more intense in real life.

I tried to show him a photo of a dude in a tank top in Olive Garden.

He didn't want to see it.

Oh, it looks like they're thing.

Get him.

There's them dressed like Chucky.

Yeah, and the

Pennywise.

So they have a brand, they're enjoying their youth.

You just think that.

How many followers I got, Q?

Let me see what this lady has.

I mean, you don't want to give away their thing?

You don't want to do it?

All right.

That's a good idea.

A little under 2,000.

Okay.

So, not going crazy, but she's working.

I mean, every photo is her.

Well, I have 6,000 followers, so

boom.

Yeah, he hasn't had to show his behind

because his belly.

I saw him dress in a skin-tight green outfit with his balls hanging out.

I'd rather work with her.

And again, I had only seen them for about, I would say, maybe five to ten seconds walking away.

And I was just like, wow, that's a lot of skin to be showing at a family-friendly con.

I will grant you, it is a very sexualized outfit in front of a lot of kids.

You know, like I said, there was someone there who was dressed as Lilu in the

thermal bandages.

I don't know if you remember that from Fifth Element.

Yes.

And that showed showed almost the same amount of skin, but it was, it's not a kid's character.

It's not something kids identify with.

So every night in our room, our beds were,

this is my bed, this is his bed.

I'm using the phones.

Literally one night, he was ranting about it, and I just fucking went to sleep on it.

And I knew he was still talking about it, and I fell asleep to him going, like, it's just not right.

It's just, you would.

It's that you shouldn't sexualize certain things.

Wait, what is bothering you?

That they sexualize the children or that they were at the con?

At a family-friendly con, they were

sexualizing children's characters.

You think that kids are going to look at what's going on there and they're going to be like, it's Woody and Jesse.

Yeah.

I mean, it's like the shit that they teach kids in school these days about sexuality.

I don't think it looks like it's a good idea.

But I believe Walt said that there was someone whose wife had a problem with it as well.

It was an aunt who showed up to

support, which I love.

But he mentioned that his wife was her first con, and they brought the kids.

And he goes, she's not too happy with

some of the other congoers with how they're dressed.

Really?

And so.

I could see it.

But yeah, but

you're not a 40-something-year-old mom with kids, though, dude.

Yeah.

You're not looking at them all jealous.

Remember when you used to look that way?

It used to be shapely.

Yeah.

Before these fucking kids ruined you.

That's what's going on there.

I just had a problem with it.

I mean, like I said, I.

Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not.

But if you were to a shrimp club, you wouldn't have a problem with it.

No, no, because in that environment, it is, there's no children there.

There's,

you know, it's,

I, you know, I can't put a, like, an exact finger on the exact reason, like, you know, what it is.

It was, you know, it's just that generalized.

It's, it's a children's character, and you're, you sexualized it in an area where children are going to be around.

Sure, you know,

maybe I'm pearl clutching, you know, when someone please think of the children.

I can see the argument for what you're saying.

Yeah, I can't.

I don't know about talking about it all fucking night.

Let it go after a while, but yeah,

he had a couple natties in him.

I think he was just looking for something to fucking rage at.

Oh, really?

But you know, I thought that the trip,

I think it brought us to a point.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

I thought, I don't think a crowbar

could separate how close we are now in terms of our

relationship.

I don't know.

I came in last week kind of hot on the heels of the trip.

I feel like I wouldn't have taken a crowbar.

After six days, especially, you know, I think it is once you see that New Jersey sign.

Yeah.

It's

you're so you're at home, but you're still far away.

It's still about an hour away.

It's a hard time.

Yeah, and we're, you know, it just, you can't help but being on a a little on edge.

Now, you just got

back from Vegas.

If you saw on the board odds, or you can lay bets on who became annoyed with who quicker on the trip.

Who are you laying your,

who's the smart money on?

Am I going to blow up first or is he going to be you?

But by the fact that you're asking this question, makes me think I would have lost the threat.

What did he blow up on?

He just, at a certain point in one of the evenings, what car did you take?

My wife's car.

Okay.

Beautiful car.

Beautiful Jeep.

I was thinking about it today.

He had ventilated seats.

And, oh, it's like...

Those are a game changer.

Oh, my.

I'm like, when I would get in the car after you turn it off and turn it back on, it wouldn't be on.

And I'd be like, after like five minutes, I'm like, what?

Something's wrong.

Oh, that's...

Oh, there we go.

Soaking your me on these in ball sweat.

I have ventilated seats.

What do they do?

I never tried them.

Oh, dude, what are you talking about?

I'm missing out?

It's basically seat air conditioning.

You hit a button and it just blows air up through the seat.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, it's a life change.

I don't have a car with it.

It's the number one feature I'm going for.

Well, it's 80 degrees out today.

I'll try it on the way home.

Dude, your balls.

Yeah, they're going to thank me.

Oh, you feel like angels are kissing it.

I once drove in a rental car that had the cooled seats, and that felt like you were sitting in ice water.

But this was just totally comfortable.

But one of the evenings we're at a restaurant.

Now, granted, we had to spend an hour waiting to eat because the con

made every restaurant have like, you know, massive amount of wait times to eat.

You didn't throw around that complic men fucking.

You know how much cachet that has?

it had no cachet when it was on you know

wasn't someone close to pulling out his badge

don't say that you don't want to get him arrested

for impersonating an officer

but

hello so we

we're at the restaurant and we're we're finally eating and at a certain point he's he's definitely like shutting down and i don't know why but this is when like i'm having this titillates me like this this energizes like woody and jesse just walked in

but he and i'm like like he's getting real short and grouchy and like i go what the fuck's the matter with you and he goes nothing i'm just overstimulated

how many helicopters i've seen

i did not say that at the restaurant

but i i could pin i could pinpoint what it was is i uh We're in there and all of a sudden it starts storming.

I mean, bad.

Everyone's phone's getting tornado alerts.

Okay.

And so I wanted to go out and and take some videos of the

tornado.

The weather.

Yeah.

Because

we don't get it like that in New Jersey.

And there's six to eight people standing in front of the only entrance and exit to the friendlies.

And they're engrossed in this conversation about nothing.

And they don't seem to realize that they're blocking the exit.

Yeah.

And I'm trying to figure out how I was getting annoyed.

I'm trying to figure out how to

politely say, you know, can you get out of the way?

To leave a restaurant?

Yeah, to go outside.

Excuse me is typically the words that fucking work across millennia.

I was worried that, like, my

annoyance would come through and they would be insulted.

So I was just kind of trying to

better I say nothing and crash through them.

I wasn't worried about ruining my party.

You know, and giving me attitude for no reason.

You know, like, you know, and then I got to go back to the room with them.

And then it's still, like, you know,

no, I was fine when we got back to the room because then it was quiet and the hockey game was on and I had a beer with me.

So it was, you know, it was good.

But yeah, they were, and there was other people behind me trying to, trying to get out.

Yeah.

And I'm just trying to like get their trying to see if I can get their attention.

Maybe they realize that they're blocking the exit.

Just being like a normal human being, like, excuse me.

Yeah.

Again, I didn't want to come off, like I sometimes.

Like a normal human being.

No, I'm tone-deaf to my attitude.

I didn't want to come off that.

Yeah, but if, but couldn't you just, like, what are the easier thing to be?

Just modulate your tone

again in the moment yes in the hindsight

hey excuse me you know

like right now

in hindsight in hindsight i maybe i could have like

you know taken it out on your work wife over there so

but um yeah so i got out i took the video and then i got back inside and i'm just yeah i was just done

i was like i just want to get back to the i just want to get back to the room and just relax yeah is that the night it rained for an hour and a half before you could get back no that was a different night that was the That was the night before.

So you snapped at Walt?

I don't think I snapped at him.

I think we were.

Short.

Snippy.

And I think I apologize to you.

I said, I'm sorry if I'm

sad.

I just had enough

when we were on the way back to the hotel room.

Yeah.

Trying to take a picture of a tornado.

That could be our world's funniest.

World's most wild.

How were you?

And I'm sorry to anybody listening if this was all covered last week.

I do apologize.

But, like, were you, was Giddam a celeb down there?

Were people, like,

you guys had to be, like, so well received?

I mean,

by, yeah, by the ants.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, but how many were there?

There was, there was enough to make it, you know, feel like it, like, thank God they showed up because otherwise, you know, the rest of the con, you know, it's like, you know, who are those homeless dudes?

So, did you get them?

Did you get a, uh, how did you feel about it?

Like, you were

people had to be excited to see you.

Even if no one was excited to see me, I had a blast the whole time.

All the helicopters.

I didn't get to see any.

I got to see him land at one point, and then

sadly, our building was on the opposite side of the complex, so I didn't get to see them take off.

And we had all that rain and everything.

Right.

But I was very excited to see the helicopters.

Wow.

What were the helicopters for?

Like tours?

Tours, yeah.

Tours.

It was

$25 per person.

They could take up four people.

It's an air-conditioned helicopter, jet turbine.

Why didn't you do it?

It was a tank.

Because it was storming.

It's dormant.

Walt said, Well, and then

they closed at a certain time.

I told him to go on a helicopter.

He called his father, and his father told me he didn't think it was a good idea.

And that really put the kibosh on things.

I know that.

Yeah, don't even bullshit.

This is not even bullshit.

Don't even bullshit.

Because you told me, you came back to the room.

My dad says, I can't go on the helicopter.

He was worried.

I have to, like, he has to just stop around like a 14-year-old.

Oh, my God.

Well, he's worried.

You know, how often do they maintain that kind of stuff?

You You know, it seems like literally a fly-by-night operation.

My response is, your dad's not here.

He's ain't going to fucking know.

Yeah,

it won't hurt him.

But again, it was a moot point because

it rained.

It was bad weather for two solid days, so they weren't taking off.

And then, you know, they stopped running at a certain time.

I think you should listen to your dad more.

I think you should call your dad for more advice.

I'd try to.

Yeah.

Edgar would think that I suffered catastrophic brain damage if I were like, Daddy,

can I go on the helicopter?

Whirly bird father.

Well, he doesn't like flying.

He's not a big flying person.

Yeah.

Like my other dad.

Plus, that was the other thing.

It's weird to go by yourself, like with another family.

Like it's a, like, you're a single rider.

You put your, you, you get your head twisted in knots.

So buy out the fucking helicopter.

Give them $100 for all the seats.

Definitely know.

No.

Not even happened.

No.

We stayed two nights on the way up and on the way back at South of the Border Honeymoon Suite.

Wait, you stayed on the South of the Border on the way back too?

On the back, too.

Even though you knew it sucked.

Yeah, tell them why we had to stop at South of the Border on the way back.

I see a helicopter.

No, because you wanted a long gate of pennies.

Yeah, I wanted elongated pennies, but you were like, we can't go through for the rest.

I got to go to sleep.

Right.

Well, it just happened that it turned out it was at one o'clock in the morning, so it worked out.

But we were stopping there anyway, though.

Yeah, again, we were stopping there anyway, so it's not like I had to, it's not like I had to, we had to sleep there just to get these pennies.

It was one o'clock in the morning, I didn't care where we slept.

Yeah, that's amazing that you're like, this place sucks.

All right, let's go back.

Do you have like one of those half-moon doors, like the portal doors, or is this a regular square door?

There was multiple entrances, but it didn't look like a half-moon door.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, but it's

an interesting place to stay.

I mean, like, it's frozen in time.

Swimming in the dome?

Yeah, you go in the pleasure

Oh, okay, yeah.

Wait, so the honeymoon suite, how many beds did it have?

Two.

Two.

In a honeymoon suite?

I wasn't like seasoned.

Oh,

I mean, why would we pay for the honeymoon suite?

But the girl, we got the same girl.

$40.

The same night clerk at the desk.

She remembered us.

Hello, guys.

I remember you guys.

Did she say that?

She remembered you.

Yes.

The wives are away again, aren't they?

Honeymoon suite taken.

Remember, I I said to her, she goes, he goes, I remember you guys.

I was like, yeah, we were hoping we can get the same room again, if you know what I mean.

I said, I swear to God, I said that, and she did not laugh.

And we ended up getting a worse room.

We ended up getting a worse room because the Wi-Fi didn't work in the room, so I had to go sit out on the porch.

And so I'm out on the porch playing a video Pokemon or something.

And this guy walks up in the room next to us.

He walks into the room and then he comes back out and he's like, yo.

And I didn't know if he was talking to me or not, so I'm still playing.

He's like, yo.

And so I took him.

I was like, hi.

He He goes, where'd you come from?

And I'm like, the room right next door.

Oh, okay.

I didn't see you.

And then he walks back into his room.

And I'm like, oh, this is.

That's a crackhead if I ever heard one.

I didn't see you.

But, you know, like, there wasn't many,

no blow-ups other than a few times where he, like, he kind of like, you know, got, like I said, he got overstimulated.

And I had to, I have to take that in consideration, you know, with his issues and everything.

I knew going in that I didn't know he would get that quickly get overstimulated.

That was the whole

day.

We weren't even out of Airport Plaza.

It was 9.30 at night.

We had gone through the whole entire con and everything.

So I think I was properly, you know, I had a

lot on my

head, yeah.

Definitely a lot on my plate.

It was a beautiful brisket burger.

But you guys, I'm close now.

Yeah.

Crowbar couldn't tear them apart.

Yep.

I would say

it was the last day that was the most stressed.

Not stressed, but the most tension-filled.

How so?

Well, like, you know, I did get a little upset that you took a nap when I was driving.

Why would you get me upset by that?

Because he was snoring, and it was starting to make me fall asleep.

And

we're going through Washington again, so it's like I was like trying to, I wanted a navigator who could help me, you know, figure out the right roads.

And I don't have Wi-Fi on my, I mean, I don't have internet on my phones.

So he's the one who has the internet.

And we're not supposed to be, we weren't really trusting the GPS and the Jeep.

Okay.

Because it's the one that took us this Fugazi way.

Like we were going through suburban streets.

Again, I-95.

That's all you need to know to get from New Jersey to Florida.

We're not seasoned fucking road warriors, though.

We rarely go anywhere.

All you do is drive places.

Yeah, but not, I mean, four or five times of Florida in my life.

Yeah, but I-95 is also 290.

It's part of it is 295, 395, 695, especially down in Washington.

So you got to know where,

unless you want to drive through the middle of Washington in the middle of the day, you kind of take one of the little

95s.

Yeah, that's what we were trying to do.

But we weren't trusting the Jeep, and he, like I said, he was, and it was just

a little upsetting.

Okay, so cute.

Now,

let's say I invite you on a trip.

Yeah.

Your room is paid for.

Oh, great.

I pick up 90% of the meals.

Nice.

Don't even fucking

go.

No, that's not true.

I would think that paid up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, no.

Well, I'll talk about

not the room in

Florida.

In Florida, that was paid by Blue Juice.

But the rooms south of the border, I picked them up.

And they didn't pick up the meals, though, Blue Juice.

No.

No, I had invoiced them.

No, Prigin, huh?

She fucked up.

But like, and then can you fucking give attitude if

I happen to fall asleep for an hour?

At what time is it?

It's about two o'clock in the afternoon.

Oh, really?

Can you at all give any kind of like tood?

Look at where he would be if not for you in life.

I don't think he should ever be giving you any tood.

Still be shoveling horse shit and fucking waving people into a parking lot.

Dancing in a parking lot.

He should be kissing your balls.

Like the fucking vented seats.

You should be fucking personally venting your seats.

Not complaining because you get a little sleepy for an hour.

I've never been so offended since I saw Woody and Jesse.

I can't but get him.

In another world, like you made a move on Woody and you were fucking with her now.

That could have been your woman.

You wouldn't like her.

She's too showy for you.

I do too much for you.

Look at the size of her poops.

Holy shit.

She's rather insane, but get him.

I think this is your girl.

I don't think she's into

slide into her DMs.

Isn't that what people say?

Judging by some of the kissing photos, I don't think I'm her type.

Yeah.

Oh, you think she.

Well, girls like to kiss girls in photos.

Wow, get him.

Wow.

This is crazy.

Oh, what?

That he was upset by the.

No, just the whole trip.

Like, I.

But, like I said, I mean, other than those few instances, otherwise, you know, it was smooth sailing, you know, like it was.

The boat didn't rock.

What do you guys talk about when the boat's not rocking?

Oh, my God.

The saddest tales ever.

So sad.

Like, I think he does it on purpose so that I don't blow up on him when he does stupid shit or annoying shit.

Because then it makes me feel like a monster if I'm like, you fucking idiot.

Because he just told me how, you know, these awful stories of driving up to surprise his girlfriend at college and then walking up to this room where he could look inside the window and seeing her

sitting on the bed with another man.

And then he goes around the corner and calls her and says, oh, I'm on my way there.

And then he watches as the man runs out the back door.

Like, that is so sad.

Like,

this story took so long to tell.

You know how he's long to tell the story.

He doesn't leave any detail out.

I think it took place over two days.

Like, it started getting told before we went to park at South of the Border.

And then, so the next day, we were stuck in this awful traffic trying to do anything to entertain ourselves.

And he's like, so what about that story?

Yeah,

tell me that story again.

How about that story end?

Like, how that story ends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, I think there's, that's a fucking 148.

He's laying that, they're laying that foundation that, like, you know, like, you know, I can't, no matter what happens on this trip, I can't get annoyed at him because it's like horrible tales of, like, what was some of the other, the romantic ones with the

some of the others ones with the one that what left with the blind man that was that was the same one it was the same one oh you stayed with her for years after that yeah I told you

I told you we we tried to make up afterwards we went to a bed and breakfast and Ithaca oh you called her out on it yeah years later I thought right no no it was yeah I called I called her out because

I caught her cheating so but when you looked in the window what did you see she was just sitting on the bed with this other guy his name was Tyler Tyler Tyler Taylor.

Tyler Tyler.

Tyler.

Yeah.

So she's on the bed with Tyler in her room.

Why are you peeking in her window?

She had a first-floor because he suspected.

Yeah, it was.

You don't peek at a window unless you're like, hmm, I wonder.

She had a first-floor suite with three other girls because they were raising a singing eye puppy.

So I knew where her.

These are the details you were talking about.

Oh, they're fucking fast and furious this time.

They make a 10-minute story, a two-hour story.

A two-state story.

No, so I knew where her bed was.

It was right next to a window.

So what I was going to do is I was going to go

knock on her window.

And when she went to look, I'd be like, hey, it's me.

Yeah.

And so I looked through the window and I could see her on the bed with some stuff.

Just chatting?

Just chatting, yeah.

No, no, not no throws of passion or anything.

Yeah.

So I was like, okay.

You know, I said, oh, so that's why I moved my car and then I call her up.

I was like, hey, I'm on my way.

You know, I'm going to surprise you.

And I see the door open, and he ran out.

We should have stood right by the door and been like, aha.

No, I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to seem like the jealous jerk of, you know, it's okay that she has.

She got got.

You caught her.

Well, she's allowed to have a.

I don't know if he's

sitting on a bed with some other guy.

Your girlfriend's allowed to have some other dude in her bedroom sitting on her bed while you ain't around.

Well, it's a suite.

So she had a roommate in the room with her.

So it was, you know, two roommates.

Her roommate wasn't there, though.

I don't know if Magenta was.

What would you do if you peeked in the window and a roommate was getting out of the shower or something?

Well, the shower.

No, it's like a...

We're naked.

It's like, that would have been great.

We're dressed like Woody.

All right.

Okay.

But then, yeah,

I eventually confronted her about it because.

How many days later?

Oh, I don't remember that because

971.

I don't remember.

I think it was when I found out she was calling him and I found it on her phone.

And

you went through her phone?

Yeah.

Yeah, because I had a suspicion.

I had a valid suspicion.

Just give me that idea, Cluso.

Yeah, Columbo, he ain't.

So one last thing.

So, man, one last thing.

Tyler.

Who the fuck is he?

He's got a lollipop.

That's Kojak.

Maybe.

But yeah, then, you know, she, you know,

she's like, okay, you know, I confronted her.

She's like, we need to take a break.

She said that?

Yeah.

She's like, we need to take a break.

You caught me cheating.

We need to take a break.

She's like,

I want to think things through.

And so what happened, she's like, you know, in the interim month, I left her alone, and this guy did, and he just kept pestering her.

Tyler kept it on pestering.

So she kept pestering.

So she.

She came back.

We went to Ithaca to a bed and breakfast, breakfast, spent the whole nice romantic

weekend and everything, and then she cheated on me with the blind guy.

And she is a psychologist.

Yes.

Would you want her

being your psychologist, though, with the kind of history that she has with this kind of mental

torture that she put her boyfriend through?

It seems like she's not somebody I would want anywhere like diagnosing me.

No.

Fucking heal thyself, bitch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's why I own two fucking, these voodoo doctors and shit, man.

You don't know who you're talking to.

Right.

Look at the history of this fucking esteemed psychologist.

She's got all these accolades, all these fucking pieces of paper on the wall to tell her that she's fucking knows more than I do and you combined.

Yeah.

And she's just this broken ass bitch who fucking steps out every time she got a chance.

Knocked people teeth out.

Right.

Fuck her.

Well, she's the one who knocked your teeth out.

How supportive was I in the car?

I didn't laugh once.

No.

I didn't go into these crazy situations.

Because he was sleeping.

Get him told an hour of the story with Walt snoring.

I was like,

we should fucking call her and fucking prank her right now and just fucking mentally torture her, she said.

Let's tell her her refrigerator's running.

And that's what I tell him her phone number because for some reason I still remember it.

Oh my God.

Do you look her up online?

Is she on Instagram?

Can we see her?

About, I'd say every six months or so.

Let me see.

Oh, this is fucking huge.

Why?

Because I got to bust out the glasses.

Because this is the girl that fucking knocked out his teeth.

This is the girl that cheated on him.

This is crazy.

This is made a total asshole out of him.

Clowned him.

Fucking clowned my boy.

So I want to see what she looks like.

What if she was my therapist?

What if I look at it?

I'm like, Sharon.

Let's say that happened.

Would that totally just make you go never go back?

No,

I would still feel so satisfied with the product that I would be like, okay, she's done that good a job.

Yeah, I would be like, well, she's she's, oh, she's cute, kiddo.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Who's that fucking dude?

Yeah, is that Tyler?

That's the new guy.

That's the new guy.

Oh, she's not married?

No, she got.

She's not with the blind guy anymore either.

Yeah.

She's got a lot of fucking

regret.

Could have been with the black.

She hasn't been happy.

No.

She has not found happiness, but yet she's going to tell tell other people how they can find happiness.

I got to figure it out for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Now look at his face.

PhD.

Oh, get him.

Come on, buddy.

Wipe that look off your face.

PHD.

Big fucking slut.

I'm just trying to make sure I didn't like anything.

You've got a wistful, dreamy look on your face.

We had great times together.

To us on the trip, or you mean

tell him, Steve Dave.