#484: Cruzin’ 4 Male Tail

1h 14m
Radio serials, lawyers, water pills, the bar for ugly.

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Transcript

The animal doesn't have a hat, and the animal doesn't have a sunscreen.

Oh no, no, I wasn't looking for Dick.

Yeah, you're kind of like in your birthday suit, floating around your mother's womb, getting busy.

Popping baby bonus.

Getting busy with who?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

My friend Walt's here.

Hello.

My friend Q is here.

Hello.

And I am Brian Johnson.

Very flustered.

I cannot work electronic shit for my family.

Oh, no.

I got to tell you,

very proud of you.

You kept your cool during.

That was a half-hour ordeal, and you didn't even once, like, you know, even get close to a rage out from where I was sitting.

Now, Q, are you, you're, we can reveal, you're repotting remotely from an undisclosed location somewhere in Staten Island, but

I have to imagine the the room temperature is not 80 degrees, right?

Oh, no.

It's a cool, it's a very cool thing.

I have to factor into like Brian's frustration with it not working.

Nope.

It is so fucking hot here.

This is Walt Flanagan saying this.

But the thing is, the thing is, it's like I only have air conditioners.

I don't have central air.

So if I run the air conditioners, then it's too loud.

Oh, shit.

So you're sacrificing for the listeners, for the betterment of the show.

I'm sweating like a fucking stuck pig over here.

You are.

You are.

You're dripping wet.

I feel like I'm an architect.

I'm dry as a pickle.

You're fucking, you're so wet.

I have to admit, I did keep it in check, but inside,

inside, I was destroying the board.

Inside, I was throwing my phone through a wall.

But that's called your inside voice.

That's why nobody cares if you do it on the inside.

Yeah, it's only when I do it on the outside that people seem to be affected by it.

But holy shit, yeah, it took us a half hour to get this fucking board to work.

What normally it just, and I just, it's one of those random things.

I pressed the wrong fucking button and then.

Electronics are really, really

finicky.

They're the most finicky things on the planet, I believe.

I've never seen such high-tech

solutions be literally, well, just turn it on and off and then it works.

To me, like something that high-tech should not have have to be turned on and off multiple times for it to finally start working.

Yeah, it should take me a while and a lot of money.

Oh, so we got together just two days ago.

Yeah.

It's a daily show at this point.

I can't say I've done a ton since then.

I did find what would it take you to go to this?

Are you familiar with Fibber McGee and Molly,

the radio show from the 30s?

Oh, no, no.

You're familiar with Bondi and Dagwood, though.

Absolutely.

They also had a radio serial.

Yep, the bumsts.

The

civic center, I guess you would call it, like in our town, is the Middletown Art Center.

Over by the train station?

Yeah, yeah, that one.

Okay, yeah.

They're having a night where they have actors coming in to recreate radio serials that are literally nearly 100 years old at this point.

So

I wasn't, like, I'm familiar with Blondie and Dagwood, and I had heard, like, I was constantly called Fibber McGee when I was a kid, so I had heard the name.

I just never knew what it was.

So

I was like, well, let me look at this shit.

Let me look at this Fibber McGee stuff.

I guess that is it free.

I own it.

12 bucks.

12 bucks.

12 bucks.

When is this?

I'm kind of interested.

I tell you, like, I wanted to see who went, like, what the delegate was, what the demo was.

No, it's July 23rd, I think.

Okay.

But it would be interesting to go, I think, just to see.

I just want to see the other people who I'm like, why would you come?

I'm coming to look at you.

Like, why are you here?

Yeah, man.

That sounds like a can-miss event to me.

We should license Tellum Steve Dave out to actors across the country, and they can do like dinner theater recreating old episodes like Make and Hay.

Right.

Actors can read our parts

like like, just like Fibber McGee.

It takes him four hours to do the show.

Do you have any shorter ones?

Well, yeah.

We license them out by the minutes.

Do power down then.

Yeah, I thought, but then after that, I was like, I looked into Blondie and Dagwood, and I wasn't aware.

Like, I just know him from the comic strip pretty much.

They had a TV show, too, as well.

They had two different TV shows.

They had a whole bunch of movies.

I watched one of the movies.

Really?

Yeah.

You really have nothing to do, huh?

You are just counting the minutes to this trip.

I really am.

I really am.

I said to Mary Beth earlier today, I was like, I just want to leave.

I just want to go.

Were they live-action movies or animated?

No, they're live-action movies, and it mostly centers around Blondie and Dagwood and

Baby Dumpling, their kid, and then Daisy the dog.

Who is the actress that plays Blondie?

Because as I recall, that would have to be a pretty, that would have to be a knockout.

No, she's a blondie like.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

I can't remember her name.

But yeah,

he's a total dork, and they really play it.

Let's see.

He has zero dignity

in the movie.

Dagwood has no dignity.

Now, is Dagwood, I mean, is Blondie still a reoccurring strip in daily newspapers?

I believe so.

Yeah, I believe it is.

Yeah,

the strip's called Blondie, right?

Blondie, yeah.

Blondie.

Okay, got it.

If you guys hear that crackling, that's my,

I am on a water regimen to try to acclimate my body to drinking water.

Oh, I thought it was because it's 80 degrees in here.

No, I am trying to get used to drinking multiple bottles of water a day because apparently if I don't,

I've been told by many strangers that I'm going to die.

Walt's learned something late into the...

Late into the show, and that's that there are a lot of doomsayers, these ants.

Oh, really?

They want to tell Walt why he shouldn't be hiking in arches in 110 degree weather.

They're not saying I shouldn't go, but they're just like, they're just very precautious and begging me to bring multiple bottles of water, sunscreen, a hat.

And I'm like,

I mean, that's not roughing it then, though, if I'm doing all that stuff.

I just want to go out there and put myself against nature, like just like an animal.

The animal doesn't have a hat.

An animal doesn't have a sunscreen.

I don't know.

What makes them better than you?

Some stupid lizard.

You don't see a little fucking lizard wearing a hat around?

A perfectly evolved organism to live in that environment.

To somebody who can't even take how hot my house is.

I can take it.

I just knew the pressure point was getting ready.

It was getting ready to blow.

But

I don't feel the temperature in this house is...

is working with everything.

It's not conducive to keeping me cool.

No pudding.

it's like do the right thing yeah right yeah it's gonna fucking explode at some point man throw a garbage can through my own window at some point

i mean through a window through a door you know whatever yeah whatever it can go through so yeah blondia and dagwood dagwood is is played as the douche like total douche

i i don't it's they're not funny no i mean never have been never probably were

i don't know i mean they made a lot of them they made like 25 of them.

I mean,

I wonder who's producing it.

Like, who's producing the new blondie strips?

And how much does that person get paid to get a national

strip that runs in multiple newspapers across the country?

That used to be a big get.

That used to be a big fucking deal.

It just so happens Wikipedia's pulled up to Blondie already, so I'll tell you.

And that was like you were set for life, like if you had a strip in a national newspapers.

I don't know if that's the case anymore.

I don't think newspapers are as big an

income

provider anymore that they could be, that

you can have a mansion by producing strips in the newspaper anymore.

Right.

Yeah, I don't think, I don't know if it was ever that way, but like the guys that did like Calvin, Bill Watterson, do you think he probably got super rich?

He got huge, probably.

He got huge fat bucks, I value for that.

That was a cultural phenomenon.

Yeah.

Right.

That was Farside was

remember that one it was a girl, she was always like stressed out and anxiety, and she,

yeah.

Oh, that was a riot.

I loved Kathy, Kathy.

One of my favorite comics ever wasn't a comic book, it was it was uh

uh

Bloom County.

You ever read Bloom County?

Bloom County is awesome.

Birthhead, right?

Yeah, Burke birthhead, yeah.

Berkeley, Berkeley breathed.

Yeah, his style of art was really cool, too.

With Bill the Cat,

Bill the Cat, Opus, Milo.

Yeah, man.

Man, IDW put out these awesome books of every one that was ever printed.

And I bought them and I've been rereading them.

And I'm like, do they hold up?

These are 80s, right?

80s, and he restarted it.

He's doing a modern one now, too.

And it absolutely feels like the same comic.

They hold up, dude.

They're so funny, man.

And I never realized,

or I did realize, but didn't realize how much my humor was shaped by how much I loved Bloom County County back in the day because I see shit in there that I stole

and passed off as my own that I didn't realize I was doing.

Like, that guy's awesome, man.

So, to answer your question, yes, Blondie is still being published.

That is a testament, man.

That has got to be one of the longest-running strips

one of.

I'm sure there's many that are still running, like Snoopy or whatever you want to call it, Peanuts.

Yeah.

Well, they're nuts.

They're doing reruns.

That died with him.

But it's still running in like a daily in a national paper, though, even though, yeah, that the Schultz, what's it called?

The estate, I guess, is

making the money.

Yeah.

Right.

With the reprints.

Sparky.

Didn't they call him Sparky?

Who's that?

Charles Schultz.

He was called Sparky.

I thought that was his nickname.

Charles Schultz.

I thought it was like everybody called him Sparky.

He was the pride of Minnesota, right?

Minneapolis, Minnesota, my friend.

Yes.

Yeah.

I remember he like he was beloved.

Yeah, well, he deserves it, doesn't he?

Do you think he still has the same level of

reverence in Minnesota that he does back now

just 10 years later after his death?

Yeah, I absolutely believe he does.

And I believe he deserves it, man.

Charlie Brown and Snoopy, they ain't going nowhere.

I mean, name, like, how many people on the history of the human race have created characters that iconic?

Stanley.

Exactly.

That's it.

Yeah.

Right.

It's like, that's crazy.

I mean, you know, I'm sure some other people out there would make the argument from one or more other people, not just Stanley and Sparky, but

any way you want to look at it.

Walt Disney, Disney, Walt Disney.

I mean, these are legends.

These are icons.

You know, people could say what you want about your Garfields, your Marmaduke.

None of them are Snoopy.

Wow.

I forgot about Marmaduke.

Garfield.

Garfield's, he's a a huge man.

That's a big name in the daily comic strip game, I would say.

A game that doesn't have the same

gravitas.

What's how you say?

Oh, I don't even know if they're still playing the game.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

Definitely doesn't have the same gravitas.

I know Bloom County.

I don't even know if he puts his in newspapers anymore.

I think he just throws them on Instagram and his Facebook page and stuff like that.

The far side, that was another one that was huge.

I heard that was coming coming back.

The Far Side was great.

He was a mad genius, right?

Wasn't he like really troubled and tormented?

Gary Larson, right?

Gary Larson.

Yeah.

Was that?

I don't know.

What about they'll do it every time?

I found it's not the case.

Family Circus.

Lockhorns.

The Lockhorns.

Mary Worth.

Prince Valiant.

And remember the Spider-Man one, man?

For years it had its own little weird continuity and shit like that.

Oh, man.

I remember I had a comic book.

They put out a book that you could cut the Spider-Man stories out and paste them into the official Spider-Man.

Did you do it?

I did it for like half the book.

And then I, and then I was on like the fifth.

And I think, didn't Stanley write them for a while?

And then I think I was on like the fifth strip in a row of Peter and MJ having a fight.

And I was like, what am I doing?

I'm like, how old are you?

I don't, I mean, I had to be like around 10 or, you you know, whatever it was.

And I was just like, how many times am I going to watch these two fucking lamos argue about whether he's Spider-Man or not?

So I stopped doing it.

Yeah.

So, Blondie, I don't think I'll go through all 20 movies or whatever.

But

if you're up for it, I would go over that radio thing.

Even if we don't say.

Yeah, if I'm in town, I think I'm supposed to be in Los Angeles that week, but if I'm in town, I'll definitely go.

Why don't we just buy the tickets now just in case?

So they have at least three.

So they don't sell out.

They really should just go play it at the nursing home because that's really the only go play it for free.

Don't try to like bilk the seniors out of 12 bucks.

It went like the Blondie stuff, like any of the media stuff, it seemed ended in 1959.

Like the TV shows and

the movies and that kind of thing kind of like disappeared only.

The landscape was barren of Blondie stuff other than in a newspaper then.

The strip, yeah, and I think some comics and stuff like that.

Yeah.

But you have to try to wonder, like, okay, so if

the thing ran from 1936, I think, to like 1959, like, who, what is the average age of the people who enjoyed it?

Like, I think Edgar and Pam are too young.

Still too young.

I believe you're right.

You know what I'm saying?

It's got to be people

who are going to be able to

80s and over who have fond memories of it, if they can even remember it.

but you maybe they're hoping that's like a group of like skateboarding youngsters will be skating by and be like hey what's this and like go in and like rediscover molly

yeah maybe they're gonna think molly's something totally different

i mean they're keeping the they're keeping the uh blondie dream alive man they're out there doing it who chooses like who decides on it though oh i mean it's a committee that's like they got to make sure there isn't anything they got to like sanitize it to make sure there's nothing in it because back then a lot of jokes that flew back then ain't going to fly today.

So you better make sure that it's just about a husband, a dopey-ass husband who eats big sandwiches and takes it on the chin from his wife.

Yes.

His wife always pones him.

Makes him look like a fool every single time.

That's okay then.

That's safe.

Guys are idiots.

I don't know.

It sounds like it still worked to me.

Oh, it still is done constantly.

Oh, yeah, it's still safe.

It's not something that anybody's going to

get their nose all out of whack when they're watching it or watching the actors reenact these old radio shows.

They're not going to find it.

Do you think they're just doing it because it's free now?

They don't have to pay anybody for the Dagwood rights.

Yeah, they're like, what the fuck can we throw on for these geezers?

Really?

From the 1930s?

I don't know what the right, what, what the,

what's it called, the

public domain laws are, but

they are being fought tooth and nail right now to make sure that, because there are so many things that are going to fall into public domain in the next couple decades, that there is no way on the planet that those laws aren't going to be rewritten.

I mean, we can't get laws rewritten that really need to be, you know, looked at today and with a 2021 eye, but yet so so much money is going to be poured down

and greasing the pockets of judges and lawyers to make sure fucking Mickey Mouse

still has a Disney fucking logo over his head.

Yeah.

Do you disagree with that?

I totally disagree with that.

I mean, I think that, you know, the laws are on the books for a reason.

I want to be able to publish my own version of Mickey Mouse.

I was told that fucking when I was born, that that was my right.

That one day, if I live long enough

if I live long enough I would be able to do my own version of Mickey Mouse all right let's fucking workshop this what do we talk what are the differences here what's what's your Mickey Mouse like

um

he's escaped from a laboratory where he was he was experimented on with all sorts of horrible diseases he's he's he's infected and diseased so so he's shunned by society well they know you know he he wants a piece of he wants some revenge for how he's been treated.

He wants payback?

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

All right.

It's very dark humor.

So your Mickey is an anti-hero.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, all right.

And he's going to, like, he's coming for payback, and he's going to make the corporations pay.

You know, well, well, I can, I won't, I mean, Disney, I'm sure, I won't be able to call them Disney, but there'll be no ifs, ands, or buts that he's taking a piece out of the Walt Disney ass.

You know, like he's really taking him to task for all the evil shit that they do.

Wow.

You know why there's some drama in that too?

Because not all of the characters are coming out of

into public domain at the same time, right?

So you still have to wait for Donald and Goofy.

So as those come into the public domain, Mickey could rescue them from

the fucking evil corporation.

Or they're loyal.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

That'd be crazy.

So, how does he look visually different, though?

He's got all sores

all over his body.

He's not somebody, it's not like somebody you would root for.

Weeping wounds

of pus and infected

areas where they shaved him.

What about the shorts?

What are we doing with the shorts that he's on?

He's definitely still got the shorts on.

I'm going to make everybody.

I'm going to go to the bathroom.

There's going to be no if, ands, or buts.

That's your Mickey Mouse that I'm doing this to.

He has two pairs of shorts on now.

But in all seriousness, though, you know that

there's not a chance on the planet that those laws aren't going to be

sidestepped and changed or put back.

You know, okay, we're going to re-look at this.

We're going to give it another 10 years or 50 years and we'll re-look at the law again.

Right?

Yeah, it's interesting because they are the case could be made that, like, look, we're using this.

You guys could, like, we're using this character.

He's our trademark.

Like, I think you can make that argument if you're them.

Right, but the law is the law is the law, though.

Yeah, but the laws didn't have multi-conglomerate businesses in mind when it was built.

You know what I'm saying?

Or, like, or a team, like actually an army of high-powered scumbag lawyers who will do and say anything to get

Disney's fix.

Now, does the real Mickey Mess exist in this?

Because this is your version.

Yeah, Disney's still doing their version.

Right.

So do you set your version upon?

Well, I mean,

like, does he go in?

Like, travels through those tunnels that are all under Disney World and shit to get to regular Mickey Mouse?

Yeah, I haven't thought about it.

I haven't fleshed it out that far yet.

Actually,

I'm just doing this off the top of my head.

I really haven't really thought about it.

I think we're going to see some interesting fan artwork.

I was trying to get as many details from you as possible so that people at home could start drawing.

He's like, not enough source.

Yeah.

When does Tellum Steve David go in the public domain?

We'll be long gone.

30.

Yeah, we'll be dead.

3010?

Yeah.

A thousand.

Wait, what?

A thousand years.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

20,

so 20, 21, 10?

2110.

2110.

And then people will be able to use our likenesses despite anything that we want.

Put sores all over us.

Well, I'm hoping.

I mean, I'm hoping my grandkids will fight just as hard as fucking Disney would to keep Mickey.

I hope my grandchildren fight just as hard for me.

Or they're like, I wish grandpa didn't successfully lobby against Disney because we would only tell him Steve dave right now

good go get a fucking job they'll live off my fucking name then that's my work god damn it

did you see walt that uh again something we were talking about the other day that uh

there's a petition to not deny jeff bezos re-entry to earth oh

oh my god that would be awesome if once he got up there he would they wouldn't give him clearance to land.

They're like, sorry, man, the people have spoken.

He says it was launched five days ago and has been signed by nearly 7,000 people as of this morning, which is Tuesday.

This person who started the

Jose Ortiz, who started the petition, says Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store.

However, he is actually an evil overlord hell-bent on global domination.

What are the what are the

instances

that one would

excuse me?

Oh my god, I gotta drink some water.

Good practice.

Like, what does Alex Luther do?

Is that what he's doing?

What has Bezos done to, you know, that would lead one to believe, make that kind of statement, though, that he's world domination?

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't think.

I mean, I don't like the guy, but I'm not that out of touch, though.

I think it's because a lot of money.

Yeah.

Oh, I think because he's a tax dodger as well, though.

Like, all that money that he's able to

put into a space program

was taxes that he didn't pay.

All that money he earned, he never paid taxes on.

So that's why he's a fucking billionaire.

While the mom pop stores just struggling to get by, had to pay taxes on whatever they sold, he didn't.

Right.

I mean, that's one of those situations, though, where you got to say, like, I agree, it's fucked up that these corporations don't pay their fair share of tax.

But then you got to change the laws that allow these loopholes and shit.

Who does that?

They won't change them.

Who does that?

Right, they won't.

Yeah, they won't change it.

Because the politicians are fucking using the same exact loopholes.

They'll talk a good game, but when they get back into

their dark rooms with all their smoke-filled

backdoor deals, cigars.

Yeah, and

where all the orgies are held, they're making sure that all those fucking deals stay in place.

Now, hold on, can I just say something?

I've been saying some bad things about lawyers.

Not all lawyers are bad.

I actually hooked up with a lawyer, a soon-to-be lawyer, and he's going to

go to bat for us, he thinks, and try to get Crypto's Oakman back for us.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Nice.

And Mary Rachel is nice, too.

What's that?

Mary Rachel is nice too.

She's a tell-em-see Dave Town lawyer.

Oh, I never met her.

I'm sure she's nice.

She's nice.

But lawyers are an easy punching bag, though.

It's like nobody loves lawyers.

Yeah.

I think you still pick on lawyers and shit like that.

You make lawyer jokes?

I think so.

How do you think, though, that some lawyers?

I know we've spoken about this, and I brought it up in the past, but

these defense lawyers that have to defend people that they know they're guilty,

how do they sleep at night?

I asked a lady this.

When I was up at Anthony Cumius studio once, and there was a lady there, and she was a lawyer, a defense lawyer.

And

I said, I'm not coming at you.

But I was like, how do you defend some of the people you defend?

And her answer was just like, it's not about them.

She's like, I love the law.

So whatever, like, you know, kind of like the.

You love the law more than

the person you're defending's victims.

Probably, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I guess it's just, it doesn't matter.

She's like, you know, the law is.

I also love money.

Probably.

Well, I don't know.

If you're a public defender, I think you make shit money.

I don't know if she was a public defender or not.

Yeah, I would.

I would think that a good lawyer would say that, right?

Would be like, it's the law.

Like, you love the law.

Like, you have to.

You have to defend that person because they're going to lose.

Like, if a fucking, you know what I mean?

If you're a good lawyer and

you attack the victim story and

you get this

I don't know if the average public defender is doing that sort of thing.

Are they?

They're not defending

with all their diligence and giving it 110.

Well, if there's even if you do 110 and and they got him dead to rights, isn't that kind of like they got him?

Well, I mean, there's not always there's a lot of cases where you don't have them dead to rights and you just know.

You know, like you got, I mean, most human beings have a radar about, like, you know, about them.

So they would be like, oh my god, I know this guy did it, but I got to defend him.

Yeah, but I don't, if I'm ever in the position one day where like my life is in the hands of a jury or

like, I don't want people going like, I got a strong feeling that he did it.

Like, I'd want them to be like,

let's just.

prosecute this case to the best of our ability and we have him dead to rights and then I go to jail.

Or,

you know, my attorney.

I know what you're saying, Q, but like, but

human beings are built

you know for

at the end of the day and you could say all those things but you know

you know you're if you're getting off like somebody who did some sort of heinous acts to somebody and you get them off

how do you go about the rest of your like your life knowing that like oh my god that that person probably is going to go do some more horrible well why did i get them off like how how the how did i had

a little technicality

yeah you just did a good job man and you poked holes in the victim story, and you, and you, or a cop maybe made a mistake.

Any number of reasons that

somebody gets off, and then you're even

if the cop made a mistake, then that's on the cop.

That's not on me.

I can't, I don't want to do that.

The cop didn't do anything.

You want to put your head on my imaginary perp.

Because he's a child molester.

That wouldn't be right.

But you know, like, you know, just some piece of shit who did some horrible shit to somebody and a cop made a mistake.

Troy fucked up.

I didn't know.

I mean, it's tough to, it's tough to stomach that you could, that like

they get off and they get to go now

ruin somebody else's life because of yeah, you know, it's very hard to deal with.

That seems like that would be tough to stomach, but at the same point, isn't that a slippery slope?

Like, when do you start overlooking police mistakes?

Who makes that decision?

You know, I think I would be able to take, or that person, that lawyer would be able to take comfort in the knowledge that

they supported the letter of the law and it wasn't their fault that

the cop messed up and it's not their job to overlook police mistakes.

Let them go.

And let's say you're that lawyer that got him off, and then

in the next year or two, you look in the newspaper and you see that that guy you got off committed another crime.

No, that's I don't think that would feel good.

I don't feel with that.

I don't think that would feel good, but I would also be like, why the fuck did that cop do that?

Why did he fuck up like that?

So you take yourself out of the equation.

Oh, it's what I do best, bro.

What are you talking about?

That's my mutant superpower.

What do you mean?

It's always somebody else's fault.

Please.

Yeah, it's something.

It could be something as simple as

the chain of command, like the evidence.

The evidence goes to the wrong person.

Like, you know, it's not the right order or something.

And then that alone is.

Well, you're a victim

of the system, you know, because you had a defense lawyer

throw out crazy accusations that you were cruising for

sex.

Yeah.

With no evidence whatsoever to make such a claim.

And your lawyer just sat on his ass and didn't object to that shit.

Yeah, like, look how manly and virile he is.

How could you say that?

Objection, Your Honor.

Yeah.

My client was not looking for gay sex in an alleyway.

That's true.

We'd like to submit the no-homo defense, Your Honor.

But then, yeah, I remember he kept asking me about these gay websites, too.

He's like, I've never seen your computer?

No.

But he was just like, have you ever been on this website?

I'm like, no, what is that?

Like, I had never heard of it.

How fucked up that there's lawyers that will do that, though?

They will try to get their

perp or whoever

their client off by

painting Brian, who, let's be honest, in 2021, it's not a big deal if he was.

But back when that defense lawyer was painting him as somebody lurking around in alleys looking for cock.

I almost cut my own throat right on the stairs i'm gonna ruin his life

like you were what

that's harsh man yeah it actually would like if if uh

if i had been i would have been subject to ridicule so he shouldn't even be bringing it up yeah and what's the big and if you were right looking for a blowjob or to give a blowjob that night definitely to give definitely to give

sure okay go ahead does that mean you have a right to be carjacked with a gun pointed at me and shit.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I think what they're trying to establish

about that?

Yeah, about that whole incident.

You should write a book.

The carjacking of Brian Johnson.

Just how you got your lifetime.

It was fucked up.

Well, I guess what

he was trying to do was establish that if I lied about, like, oh, no, no, I wasn't looking for Dick, like, then I would also lie about these guys, which, which to me, like, never made sense because I'm like, all right, if I were ashamed because I was trolling for Kock and I lied, to me, that's a different lie than being like, I'm lying.

I'm like, yeah, it's these guys who did it.

It was these people who carjacked me.

Like,

one, there's a purpose to it.

The other one, it seems like there's no end game.

Like, did you go over to whoever was on your side and be like, hey, can you fucking speak up and save me from this?

It was a woman and she was just like, they're allowed to do it.

She's like, they're allowed to bring up shit.

Well,

how could he, with a straight face, be like, have you ever been on this website?

Like, he has never subpoenaed any of your devices.

I got 12 fucking jurors being like, well, have you?

It's so fucked up, man.

And that was after they continued the case probably

10 to 12 times.

Like, they just kept fucking postponing it.

And that was the defense postponing it, so I would give up.

Yeah, so eventually that the witnesses will just be like, I'm done.

I can't keep like putting my life on hold and taking off work and getting down here just to be told you got to come back another time.

Right.

It's a fucking a ploy.

Yeah.

And

all for what?

To get gang members off?

Like, you want to put gang members back on the street?

Fuck lawyers.

You're right, Walt.

I'm telling you, man, I don't have a lot of, I mean, I know that there's some good ones.

Fuck you, Mary Rachel.

Like this one is going to help us, supposedly.

He's one of the good ones.

Okay.

One of the few good ones.

And Q's lawyer, I'm sure, like he said, he's one of the good ones too.

But

there are far and few, uh you know good ones in my opinion though but there are definitely ones out there though

yeah

fuck them fuck them all q I don't agree with that no no

because what about prosecutors

doing their best to lock the bad guys away right and which is a good thing but there's also I mean on the other flip side of the coin though there's been prosecutors have that have known that their fucking evidence is flimsy or flat out lie and put innocent men in jail and women.

Wow.

So, I mean,

it is a

system that

they say it's the best in the world.

America's.

Yeah.

But even, but that doesn't mean it's still fucking flawed beyond belief, though.

Well, you know, it's humans, bro.

Everything we make is going to be flawed.

You know?

You're right.

I'm fucking.

But we can't accept that.

Well,

we still have to always be like, we got to make it better, though.

And they make it hard to make it better, though, in terms of like changing laws and everything.

It's like a Herculean effort to change.

Yeah, but

I think it should be, shouldn't it?

Like, you don't want fucking people just being able to willy-nilly change laws.

Like, it should be difficult and an effort to change laws.

Because if it's worth it,

you stick with it and you do it.

But it's like, but if the whims of a moment or the fucking,

I don't know, man, I wouldn't want them to be able to just.

And who's rewriting these laws also so easily?

I think it's better that it's hard.

You might be right.

You could be.

You sound like a lawyer today.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know me.

I'm not.

You know me.

I don't want anyone mad at me.

I can't wait for the day that Q doesn't care anymore about

the event of them.

Oh boy, it's going to be fucking raised earth.

Won't be treading so lightly anymore.

Fucking daisy cutter been dropped on society.

No, no, none of a thing.

I'm too old to care.

I won't care.

I don't care now.

I won't care then.

We were talking about kinks.

You know, the kink parade.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We found some weird ones.

Oh, nice.

Kinks.

Some weird kinks.

Yeah.

Stuff that

maybe we hadn't heard of before.

There's

There's aquaphilia,

which is a form of sexual fetishism that involves images of people swimming or posing underwater

or sexual activity in or underwater.

I could see that one.

Yeah.

I could see that one, yeah.

Because you're not fully dressed.

Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, certain people look good on the water, I guess.

I don't know.

It's not my cup of tea.

I guess that would, I bet you there's some sort of an in vitro kind of like vibe going on there.

Oh, you think?

You know, you're

yeah, you're kind of like in your birthday suit, floating around your mother's womb, getting busy.

Popping baby boys.

Getting busy with who?

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Well, now, as an adult, you know, you're trying to like recreate that feeling of when you are in,

what's it called?

In vitro, right?

In vitro, and but now you're in utero?

In utero, and then you are, and now you're introducing a partner into the mix, your twin sister.

Oh.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

You look just like me.

Now I'm the only one that doesn't have a sister, so I'm interested.

Continue.

This isn't disgusting me.

That would have to be a first of its kind

to get an actor and actress to play babies in the womb.

Oh, God.

There's not even an official name for this one.

Ooh.

But there's a bunch of videos and photos online.

For some people, the idea of a person, especially a woman, nearly drowning in quicksand is quite a turn on.

Is quicksand even real?

Or is that just something that the movie's made of?

No, it's real.

It's like you don't go

down, but it's just like a very slow process.

But is it mud or is it fucking sand?

I think it's mud.

Like the Sahara.

I think it's like a super thick mud.

Yeah, it's

quick mud then, not quicksand.

Hey man, we're changing laws.

Why don't we change this shit to a mud?

Klepto.

Hold on, but going back to when we were a kid, how many movies did we ever watch, though, were like horror movies where somebody fell into quicksand?

A lot.

A lot of monsters were like, you know,

they were engulfed by quicksand to save the day at the end of the movie.

Or running through the jungle or something.

I mean, quicksand.

They did it in the last Indiana Jones movie, and that was what, 10 years ago?

Oh, the golden movie.

They're still doing it.

Yeah, Crystal Skull.

Crystal Skull.

Yeah.

Did you ever have a fear of quicksand as a child?

I know I did.

No.

I'd never reasonably expected to

fall into quicksand.

Because I asked my mother, I was like, could quicksand be around here?

And she absolutely said yes, that it could be.

Quicksand could be anywhere.

I wasn't aware of that.

Yeah.

Quicksand.

What else do we got here?

We have

told.

I was just, really?

I was just thinking, like, wow, I'm cooling down

because I'm not enraged anymore.

I mean, my back is sweaty as fuck.

Holy shit, my shirt's all wet.

Oh, you better drink some water, bro.

I drank all my water.

You know what I was thinking about?

I'll give you another one.

It's getting water pills instead of drinking water while I'm on the trip.

What's that?

Water pills.

So this way I'm constantly hydrated.

I just pop a water pill whenever I'm thirsty so I don't have to get all weighed down by the water.

How big are these pills?

I don't know.

I mean, I don't think you can OD on them, so I could take as many as I want, I think.

But what's in the pill?

You've never heard of water pills?

No.

What's up?

I never even heard of this before.

I've heard of salt pills.

No, they're water pills.

I think they may give you extra water in your body, though.

How big are the pills?

How could that work?

That sounds sounds insane.

What do you mean?

You can't take a pill that magically turns to water in your stomach.

Oh, I think you're wrong.

We would have solved every human problem there ever was at this point if that was the case.

I suggested to Walt earlier that we just take off these cumbersome shirts, but

you just drink water.

Water pills are a common treatment for high blood pressure.

Okay.

Oh, I think it takes water out of your body, doesn't it?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh,

I better not take those pills.

Like, Walt looks pretty bad.

You haven't even gotten out of the car yet.

How many water pills did you eat?

A whole bottle.

I'm just trying to be responsible.

Oh, man, that sucks because I was here.

I was thinking, I was like, because I can't do it.

I can't chug down all this water without feeling like...

like I put on an extra like 50 pounds though, like sloshing around on my belly and shit.

I thought I was going to be able to take these pills and just fucking sleep.

But what did you think the pills did?

Like, what was

it?

Hydrated.

Keep my insides all hydrated.

But what did you, when you took the pill, you think it released chemicals that hydrated you or turned to water in your stomach?

I thought maybe it just turned to water.

Yeah, it says these drugs help your kidneys get rid of extra water and salt from your body.

Oh shit, I bought

it.

At least you'll take piece.

We got get the suckers over there with no water pills.

Oh, I'm glad we had this discussion.

I'm lucky I said that out loud.

Yeah.

I mean, not for everyone who's listening.

Like, okay.

You bought enough water pills for your family?

Are you sure?

Crema cystophilia.

Crema systophilia.

Sounds pretty gross.

I hear cyst in there.

And you hear cream.

Yeah.

However, it has nothing to do with either of those things.

You know, you've got this fetish if you like being held up, robbed, or otherwise stolen from.

This fetish can involve being conned or lied to by one's lover.

And some form of this fetish, the fetishist gets off by being forced to pay for sexual services.

Kind of like the opposite of prostitution.

Wait, those sounds like two wildly different ideas.

They really do.

So someone who gets turned on by paying for sex is the same as someone that likes getting lied to?

Well, forced to pay for sex.

This is in some forms.

I guess maybe those are like subsets of

the main one, which is getting held up, robbed, or otherwise stolen from.

Yeah, I could see it.

Can you?

Not for me, but I could see why people would be into it.

Yeah.

Like they're helpless.

Yeah, maybe they're helpless, or it's just different.

What do you mean?

How many times are you going to fucking do missionary style before you're like, here, take this gun, go in the alleyway, and fucking mug me on the way home?

Keep the safety on, yeah, yeah, don't load it.

I could see it, man.

It just seems like another form of role play.

Same thing with the paying for sex.

Like, if you had, you know, if you wanted to, I mean, you really want to spice things up in the bedroom, you know, pay your girlfriend for sex.

See how it goes.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean,

you don't know this, but I thought that's what being married was.

Oh!

Oh!

You couldn't hear that on Blunder.

That's a joke.

That's a bad joke.

No, no, no.

2021, you have to qualify.

I don't know if I should keep that in or not.

Reddit just exploded.

They're like, oh my God, can you believe what he joked about?

He said something I don't like.

I don't care if it was a joke.

That's a terrible joke.

That's a terrible joke.

Which is why it's awesome.

I'm a shamed of myself.

I'm duly chastened.

Hybristophilia.

The fetish for people who have committed crimes.

This is especially true of aggravated crimes such as an assault, rape, murder, or even cannibalism.

This sounds like a serial killer.

It's couples who enjoy

committing these crimes.

Well, none of these strike me as are going to have their own float.

They don't.

The Pride Parade doesn't.

Oh wait, I haven't, hold on, I haven't heard you about

aproctophilia, which is

people ripping farts in your face.

What?

Getting farted on.

Yeah, there are,

because you can't see these things.

Like, you want to dress up as a leather-bound dog.

That could be on a float.

Farting in a face?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, because you could make like a fake like Arab, like fart balloon or like fart.

What are those called?

Those fart lobbies.

What do you remember?

No, no, no.

I mean, like, you would like draw it, like draw the fart cloud and have it kind of like.

I'm talking about a float in the parade or in the,

you know, like these festivals that they do and they want to like

show off their kinks.

That one could be done,

I think, and probably not be a big deal.

Yeah, I think people, yeah, much more acceptable and

aggravated assault or something like that.

And at least everybody would know what it was.

Like the guy who just wants to be, you know,

victimized.

That's hard.

That's hard to pull off on a float and have everybody get it immediately what that kink is.

They're like, what are they doing?

But a farter, but a farting situation that everybody understands that right away.

Yeah, and

you get some martial speakers to a microphone right now.

You get to to put a microphone right next to that.

Put a Shure microphone right next to that ass.

Sponsored by Shure.

Fornophilia,

which is

this finish is all about using a person as a piece of furniture.

All right.

That could go on the float.

Yeah, definitely.

Some examples include serving as a footstool, acting as a table, being human candle holders, acting as a non-functioning lamp or other decor.

I want to know, like, I mean, all this shit sounds very strange, right?

I want to talk to somebody who's like, no, I'm totally into being a footstool.

Because I want to know what got you to that point.

Well, isn't that kind of, doesn't it, to me, that reads as like a humiliation thing more than anything.

I don't know about the fucking lamp on, but the, like, somebody putting their feet up on you and stuff like that.

Doesn't that read like, I can at least understand that one.

Like, some people just like being humiliated or or or humiliating

yeah but why like i always want to know why like what what is it like

like why why what what happened that you like somebody farting in your face like what what when when when was the moment that you're like this is for me it's just taboo yeah

i like the kind of reaction i think it's just like you know you're

You're different.

You know, we love to be different.

Everybody wants to stand out.

So

if you really want to stand out in the kink crowd,

you better make sure your kink is.

I've been eating beans.

Yeah, but if you're in the kink crowd, you can't look down on that guy, right?

Like, you have to welcome him.

No, not at all.

Yeah, but you want to go like, are you just doing this because you want to get in on the float?

You know, you want to make sure you're you got space in the parade.

Because are you really into this, or are you just saying it because you want some attention?

Because we have a kink for that, too.

It's another name.

You said something the other day, Walt.

You were talking about

Poison Ivy and looking like you had Elephant Titus of the balls and shit.

In our lifetime or any other lifetime,

will the bar for ugly be anything but the Elephant Man?

Because when you're like, oh, what's the bar for ugly?

You'd be like, I asked Mary Beth immediately.

She goes, Elephant Man.

Wow.

I wouldn't think the youngsters today are using, even know who Elephant Man is.

Do you?

I don't know.

I'm going to call her a youngster later on, though.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how aware of Elephant Man people are anymore.

Like, Michael Jackson's not around, so the bones aren't a thing.

The movie is a little bit too old for anybody to care about.

Yeah, and it's also at the end of the day, like, I think the lens

on the Elephant Man is no longer like curious freak.

Isn't it like horrifyingly victimized and sad?

It definitely is.

That doesn't mean he's not ugly, though.

No, he's definitely ugly.

That's true.

I don't know.

I guess who else would it be?

The kid from Mask, Quasimodo?

I guess he's the frontrunner.

You're right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, even Rocky Dennis isn't real.

Well, I guess he was real, right?

He was real, right?

But I don't think people know that movie anymore.

No.

Mask.

That's old shit.

There's so many references.

I mean, that's a recent reference compared to the blondie and fucking Fibra McGee shit from earlier.

That's true.

That's true.

Actually, I saw, you know what?

I'm going to take all this back.

I saw the Elephant Man on Broadway three years ago, four years ago.

So I take it back.

He's still out there, bro.

Yeah.

Yeah, Bradley Cooper played The Elephant Man, if you could fucking believe it.

Oh, the fucking handsomest guy out there is like, I know what I'll do.

You know, that's why I fucking can't stand handsome people and good-looking people.

They're like, I'm going to ugly, like Charlize Theron.

I'll ugly myself up for monster.

And then everybody's like, oh, aren't they brave to look how you look all the time?

I mean, the trick, you'll be happy to hear this.

The trick of this, my friend, is that he didn't use any makeup.

He acted his way into making you believe he was ugly.

That's how good Bradley Cooper was.

That's how good he was.

Did he wear the hood the whole time?

I'm telling you, dude, he had his face out.

He contorted himself a little bit.

But for the most part, you know, you were just looking at Bradley Cooper and buying that he was the Elephant Man.

I feel like you recently met Bradley Cooper and doesn't want to offend him.

I don't know Bradley Cooper.

I'll never meet Bradley Cooper.

But I saw him in Elephant Man.

He's fucking pretty good.

Huh.

Yeah.

What do you think of that, pal?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Well, I just want to know if there's going to ever be anybody uglier than this elephant.

Or there probably is, but maybe not as well known.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Because I was driving down the highway the other day and I was just thinking of shit and I was like, I wonder if I'm the bar for anybody's ugly, you know?

That's where this is coming from.

Yeah, that's where I came from.

Then I was like, no, not the elephant man.

Fuck him, right?

I don't think so, bro.

I don't think you're hideous at all.

I think we're losing Walt.

No, it's just the heat.

That's what I mean.

Do we have any other ads?

We have ads.

I was going to do them with Sage, but.

What do you got?

We've been making the ads funny again.

Oh, okay.

I've heard.

Are we?

People have really

connected with the last episodes.

They said the funny ads are back, Q.

All right, then we'll do two.

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You can packing up all your Miundis for this trip.

Oh, yeah.

You know how many pairs of underwear you have to pack away, Q, for a 14-day trip?

I would say at least 15.

Oh,

you would be

living dangerously with only one extra pair of underwear in case something you got you got to a Denny's and things didn't go well.

You got to do 28.

No, what are you talking about?

28.

Definitely.

There's targets every three feet in this country.

If it goes bad, they don't sell me.

There's no Myundis.

I have enough Miyundis to bring 26 pairs of Myundis with me.

Wow.

Yeah.

Easily.

I can bring 26 pairs.

So you don't plan to do any wash along the way?

No.

Oh, you're going to stop at a laundromat?

No.

Okay.

But Mary, like when we stopped by Mary Beth's parents' house in Vegas, they have a washer and dryer.

So I thought maybe I might do some wash there.

But no, not probably not.

Although some of the hotels have washers and dryers.

Yeah, but you know, it's not easy to have access to their washer and dryer.

And I don't want to watch it.

Somebody's stealing all my meundies.

I'd rather just pack an extra suitcase full of mendies.

Yeah.

I guess that's safe with the knowledge that I have micro-modal.

I thought you were saying micro something else.

I thought you were going to say micro-something else.

I don't know.

We're a micro-modal.

Yeah, yeah.

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we're not shitting here, man.

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All right.

And then we have another one that we love.

Can't get enough of this.

Can't get enough of Raycon.

Raycon.

Oh, yeah.

Raycons.

Yeah.

It says, share all the places you're planning to go this summer.

Well, we've shared that quite a bit.

We're going to a lot of different states, and we're bringing our raycons.

I know I am.

I will be as well.

Yeah, so what do you listen to in the car?

How do you decide what goes on the radio?

It really is all

just whatever captures my fancy that particular day.

But you're the man.

You control the radio.

Why not?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There is no

if, ands, or but about who who controls the radio dial.

I like that, man.

How often do you switch out driving?

Are you guys driving the whole haul?

Or are you letting the ladies take the driver?

Oh, no, the ladies will have to take take their take their share of hours behind that wheel because they you can't be I can't not at this age.

I cannot be expected to make that fucking long haul.

And, you know, that's just that that's that's selfish if they fucking think that I'm going to drive fucking all the way there and then all by like the entire trip.

So is Alicia a good driver?

She thinks she's a good driver.

She drives too fast for my preferences.

Can she drive the whole way so I don't have to be stuck behind you, too?

She has a bit of a lead foot, and I don't like it.

You know, you need that extra bit of, you'd slow down by five miles per hour.

It gives you that reaction time in case you need it.

Especially on these younger states.

Oh my God.

It's like talking to a wall, though.

It's like you don't even know.

Talking to a wall.

And you just tune you out.

That's when it just fucking drives you nuts.

You just tune you out, or turn it, or like, and she thinks that because when she's behind the wheel, she gets to control the radio.

Oh, that's why.

Yeah, and so she just turns the music up a little louder.

That's fucking great.

It's not, though.

It's not.

I mean, not for you.

It's great.

As an outside observer.

I had to drive somewhere.

We're lucky we're not taking Giddam with us.

Oh, yeah.

Because he had to follow me somewhere.

He had to follow me to, I forget where we were going.

It was Madeline, I think.

That motherfucker, you think I drive slow?

Really?

I was, I had to stop and pull over to the side of the road constantly.

His gap control is absolutely atrocious for a man.

I mean, he, he does, he does.

Well, he does drive a woman's vehicle, right?

It was, it was absolutely embarrassing how many times I had to be like, what the fuck are you doing?

I think he was doing it on purpose after a while, though.

Really?

Just trying to be a jerk off.

Tuning you out.

Let's see.

So

provide an example of something you listen to on your Raycons.

Black Sabbath.

Little Black Sabbath action?

Yeah.

They were playing some Black Sabbath in Redbank the other day.

Really?

Yeah, you know how they have the band set up and all that other shit?

They were playing Paranoid down

by Mammoth Street.

I would have liked to have heard that.

Yeah, it didn't sound too bad.

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That's what I like about them.

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Nice work.

Thank you.

Yeah, so that's it for the ads.

Do we have anything else to talk about?

I have, I don't know if you guys remember, but remember I told you guys that I collected quotes?

Yeah.

Yes.

I want to try to bring back a segment where every episode

we lay out a quote, and I get your reactions to the quote, like how it resonates with you.

If it resonates at all, like maybe you tell me, like, you know,

it doesn't do anything for you.

Are these going to be famous people quotes or get them standing around the store quotes?

I'm in for either one, just so you know.

No, these are quotes that to that moved me,

that made me say, I think I I got to sit down.

This is so powerful.

And it could anger some of the listeners, but I don't care.

Good.

Some of these quotes could really

could step on some toes depending upon where you lean or

your gender.

Do you think that we should

do you think we should ask

people to tune out now if they think they're going to be offended by this?

No, no, because

in all seriousness, I don't think.

I think if anybody's being honest with themselves, they'll hear this quote.

I have three, and then you tell me which one you like the best.

But this is my favorite one I want to go out on, but it may be too

divisive, though.

You ready?

A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing.

A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything.

Hmm.

That's fucking deep.

Yeah, I think it.

I think it holds up.

Yeah, you like that one?

I like that one.

I think it works.

I think you could swap either genders, to be honest with you, if you want to make it safe for everybody.

I don't want to make it safe.

That's not what TSD is about.

You should have said transgender.

Instead of man or woman.

Yeah, I see the wisdom wisdom in that.

Right?

Like, you got to stick through the highs and the lows, is what you're saying.

Well, but it also, I mean, let's be honest, like, a man

is so easy.

I believe, you know, it's going to the old clichés and the old stereotypes.

But when a man has everything, though,

he can be tempted more than when he has, when all avenues are open,

he's more likely to drive down those avenues more than when he didn't have anything.

You know, when it, when all the roads were close to him,

he's, yeah, then he's a good, and he's a great driver.

Yeah, I would say that, like, just to use two examples in my own life, like, you know, Joey Fatone probably has a lot more fucking,

you know, temptation coming his way than, say, my cousin Ted.

Ted's like, what did you just say?

Like,

Ted doesn't get a lot of bites of that apple, whereas I've been around with Fatone and those in Sync fans still like him.

You know what I mean?

What do you think, Bri?

Do you like it, or you feel it's not, it's it's it's too has it aged out?

Yeah, no, I think it still applies, right?

Do you think that there's some listeners who may be annoyed by that if they just sit back and go, like, just stop, just calm down and really, really just look at it without being without the lens of that it's sexist or anything?

I think that if it upsets you, you should chuck yourself into a mental health facility.

Like, it's

it's just like

I know people get offended at everything, but like, for Christ's sakes,

like, it's

there's a reason that it's it's oft-repeated this kind of shit.

I got one that's maybe a little bit more uplifting, though.

Maybe that one's too

shitty to go out on because this is what we're going on a two-week break.

Right.

Is this really what you want to go out on?

I'll have everybody all pissed off at us

for dropping fucking pearls of wisdom like that.

I'll just move the funny commercials around.

I got a better one that's maybe a little bit more

what you call

you know it makes you feel better

if you talk about it it's a dream if you envision it it's possible but if you schedule it it's real

well schedule is a weird word

like planet

well if you schedule it it's happening Well, not really.

I mean, I was scheduled to have dinner with my friend this week, and we're canceling it.

Really?

You don't like that one?

I really like that one.

I think they dropped the ball at the end.

I think they really fucking, I thought the last one didn't fit the first.

All right.

Fuck it.

Throw that one out then.

Hold on.

This is a good one, too, then.

People are pissed.

Yeah,

we got to make sure all the ones who are pissed off.

Let us don't stay pissed off for two weeks because they might not come back then.

Patreon is going to go down.

People stop canceling it.

Actions prove who someone is.

Words just prove who they want to be.

That's a good one.

I like that one.

Did you hear that one, Reddit?

The cocksuckers.

Put that in your fucking pipe and smoke it.

Right?

I mean, that one is like, that's a slap to the face to some people.

They're like, holy shit.

Yeah.

Like,

have I just been doing lip service or am I really putting into actions my the way I speak and the way I

like

talk.

Talking to talk, you're not walking the walk.

You know why that's a good one?

Because you can look at Twitter and see any number of people who that would apply to.

People just fucking retweeting, fucking whatever the fuck.

We're going on and bitching about shit instead of

doing something about it.

Okay, this is all from my private collection.

I keep these and I look at these

very often when I'm driving, like at a red, when I come to a light, I'll just quickly pick them up, just grab one real quick, soak it in and digest it, and then go on to the next light just to, you know, to give myself something to think about in between stops.

But here's another one we can go out on also, if you don't like that one.

When all your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.

But isn't the,

but isn't the, to see a dream through to fruition, that last quote, wasn't that saying, like, turn a dream into something real?

Yeah, but I think this one is, you know, a lot of people,

you better start, let's say some of your dreams start coming true, be sure to sit down and come up with some new dreams because

if you don't, it's going to be an empty existence if you don't have anything to strive for.

Yeah, you'll be sitting around watching Blondie in the middle of the day.

Like, there's nothing better you could do.

There's nothing, but

more.

There's nothing more pressing that you could take care of.

There is, but I was looking up the fetishes, and I was, I was, then I, then I started reading about Blondie and February McGee because I didn't know enough about them to talk about it.

So I started reading that kind of shit.

It was only an hour and a half.

It's not like I spent fucking seven hours, like with a marathon or something.

Still, I mean, just like a clip on YouTube would have been enough, I would think, to get your.

No, you're right.

It would have been.

Like, I know you have to fucking do the deep dive

I gotta come off educated

all right well I guess that's it then uh two-week break Q two weeks what are you gonna do that two weeks well hopefully if you guys give me enough heads up I'll fly out and meet you guys in the Grand Canyon but uh

you know for the most part I'll just pool hope that it fucking stops if it ever stops raining in New York yeah I'd love to go in the pool one day dude it's sunny and fucking beautiful in New Jersey yeah that's uh it's not,

it's got to be.

Are you sure that's not a swarm of birds circling the fucking dump?

That like make

that makes it look like a constant gray cloud?

No, no, I see where they're at.

I'm just in the windowless part of his house.

I mean, I'm in a basement recording a podcast.

I guess.

How long do you spend in the basement?

What's the longest you could take down here before you're like, I got to get up out of the basement?

Because if it's windowless, it's almost like the tell them Steve Dave general store.

Then, well, it's not windowless, it's completely windowless.

No, I mean, like, this basement is kind of like my little, this is like my playroom.

I love it.

Man cave?

Yeah, I hate to use that term, but because the whole house is my man cave.

But I do have the pinball machines down here and the television and

my big TV and all that shit.

So it's nice down here.

That's what defines the man cave, right?

It's like your favorite stuff.

Yeah, I want a man cave.

That's my dream.

That's why I that's why schedule that shit.

No, no, no.

My wife says to me, well, when all your wishes are granted, your dreams will be destroyed.

So you're not getting a man cave.

Oh, thanks.

You do love yourself.

You keep dreaming, asshole.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.