#483: A Joyride Into Space

Uh, Keo, I noticed that your boner's in full bloom.

Fucking no cameras while we're drinking baby blood.

You think there's such thing as just kings?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt Flanagan.

Yo.

And I am here with BQ.

Yo.

BQ, I can't help but notice that your once beautiful visage is all scarred scarred up from poison ivy.

What happened?

Yeah, I got poison ivy all over my face, my arms, my leg.

You know, I did garden work, dude.

I'm a common man.

You were out there gardening?

Yard, working on the fields.

I need to put my glasses on.

I don't see any.

Yeah, it's on my eyes.

It's on my eyelids and stuff.

Wow.

I saw that you posted that.

And I took that down.

Too many people were concerned, and I was like, I thought it was a joke asking for thoughts and prayers.

But I was getting phone calls from like ants, and I was like, Jesus Christ, pull this down.

Well, that's because some people,

present company, get poison ivy so horrifically that it has left PTSD.

Yeah.

Like, I have nightmares about like getting poison ivy.

I've gotten it so bad where, like, I was like, the elephant man was laughing at me.

Yeah, I've had it like that when I was a kid.

I was hospitalized for it as a kid.

Hospitalized.

So you're allergic to it then?

I'm severely allergic to it.

Yeah, me too.

So when I heard that you had it, I texted back and i was just like

you got to go down to the river yeah i remember you were saying like the river the waters of the river uh did it i i did my own version i just went in my pool it's a saltwater pool so i was kind of hoping i would do the same did it it was itchy but it felt good being in the pool so you know i balanced out

oh yeah man i i any When I heard that, I was like, oh, God, that is like the worst poison ivy.

Just on my fingers, and it's like all up my arms.

And you do your own gardening.

This is the reason I don't do anything.

You've seen his landscaping.

That motherfucker plants a flower or two.

There's no way.

It was more like my neighbor's weeds were growing into my yard so I went back to hack them back a little bit and I got a little poison ivy involved in that.

Yeah, that is one of the reasons that I have been able to get the free pass on doing any kind of outdoor yard work from

the missus because she knows how

how tragic my poison ivy can be.

So she she realizes you know that I do not belong outside the greenery.

Yeah.

I think I've given up now, too.

Did you ever have it on your

down below?

Ever or currently?

Oh, you have it down below?

There's a little on the

root.

You remember the shrubs back to

no, you know, you just come in to dig a piss and that's it.

Wow.

But I mean, all kidding aside, I remember

I had it.

I remember going to sleep one night, not feeling right.

And in the middle of the night, having these weird dreams being so itchy.

And I woke up and I had

like elephantitis down below.

Yeah, it's not, no, I don't have that right now.

And I couldn't figure out what was going on.

I had to.

I mean, they're not bigger than normal.

But I had to go to the emergency room because I didn't know what was going on.

Yeah.

And I thought that I had

STDs?

I didn't know what.

Actually, I thought

I had just got rollerblades, and this this was in the early 90s.

I diagnosed you with gay.

Rollerboy.

And I had covered, because I didn't have metal,

where you put the wheels in, not the spokes, but the metal near the tracks of the wheels,

I had plastic ones.

I was one of the first ones to get plastic instead of

steel or metal.

And I was afraid that, like, you know, we were playing hockey, that it was going to take big chunks out of the plastic.

So I covered my plastic with um

electrical tape.

Oh, the wheels, not the wheels, but the the outside area, so that, like, when like the frame gets stuffed.

And I thought that I had, since I had done that, I thought I had I was allergic maybe to the residue of the tape on the uh on the glue on the tape,

but I went to the emergency room.

The doctor told me, He's like, No, this is poison ivy, poison ivory, yeah, it's the last man that probably saw my

stuff.

Damn, you're straight, yeah.

Take back what I said about those roller skates,

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

And it was horrible to have it down there.

Yeah.

It's itchy.

It's terrible.

In my 53 years, I've never had poison ivy.

Do you think it's just because you can't get it or you just haven't come into contact with it?

I think I can't get it.

I mean, as much as I was up in the woods and as much as fucking long care as I did when I was working when I lived at Edgar's.

I maintain that you just haven't come into the into contact with a seeping poison ivy ivy leaf you want to do a test i'll find some i'll rub it on my arm i wouldn't

i'll show you it sucks dude it sucks poison oak poison sumac i don't know what the difference is like on your skin is it all just the same red all brutal yeah i even i even got the poison apple when i went away to um a foreign oh on your trip what do you mean I got infected with the poison apple that they were roping off areas and trees of the island I was on to don't go near them because it's such a hostile poison IV-esque kind of plant.

I never even heard of this before.

Yeah, and I got it on my leg.

Saving an old woman.

Yeah, there was somebody who was carrying an old lady,

but I don't remember the term poison apple.

Yeah, that's what they called it over there.

That's what the natives call it, the poison apple.

It's the same shit.

It's

ancient mystery.

We want to say indigenous officially, right?

Well, I mean, natives.

I met the natives of that other.

They lived on the island.

I lived on the island.

Nobody threw a a spear at you.

They didn't say it in broken English.

They were just like.

Clicks.

Wow.

They're like, just don't go near that.

It's roped off for a reason, asshole.

Don't go over there and rub it on you trying to think that you're not going to get it.

Because if you do get it, you're going to regret it.

Because you know there are people who are like,

I can't get it.

That's poison apple indeed.

Speaking of gay,

this is a gay pride month, so happy gay pride month to everybody out out there.

Gay man, you know, it applies to.

I was here over the weekend, and there was a big gay rally down at uh Riverside Park.

Well, that sounds like fun, and I'm just saying,

Walt Flanagan mysteriously skipped town the same weekend.

Did he avoid it?

I don't know, I don't know.

Oh, you couldn't stand it?

No,

I didn't even know it was going on, but did you hear

the

kind of the

controversy about this is that where do you guys fall on public

displays of sexual activity during these festivals and these parades where like they say it's all part, hey, that's part of our identity too, being able to publicly show you how it's done.

Yeah, I think it's safe to be like, hey, man, I disagree with that part of it.

I don't think your home is both to be like, oh, Dana.

I don't want to see anybody fucking doing shit in the streets.

Anyone.

Anyone.

Anyone.

Maybe too much.

I was going to say.

Oh, too hot.

Slow down.

Throw my support behind that.

But Jenner is vegan.

So, yeah, yeah, I guess I am behind gay public displays of affection.

Are you referring to the Karens at the hotel pool, Walt?

Or is this something different?

What's the Karens?

It says that there were a couple of Karens at a California hotel pool got into a heated confrontation with other guests after allegedly berating a female couple for kissing in front of children.

They're always putting on the children.

No, we're not talking about kids.

No, we're talking about, like, there was a big article I read that, you know,

even some of the gay community don't know where they fall because they say it's such an important part of our culture and such an

important piece of our identity.

Like, don't suppress us from showing you in public some of the more like,

you know, crazy shit that.

Oh, wait, are you talking about like the kink people who are doing shit?

Okay, okay.

I read that.

Well, is it kink or gay?

Kink.

Well, there's

the gay parade.

Sure.

But then there's a subsection of it that's like kinks.

Like the picture I saw is some dude in a dog mask at a dog collar.

Oh, that's what you can walk down the street.

That's fine.

You want your kids to see that?

Not in Redbank, New Jersey?

I wouldn't mind that.

No, that's fine.

I mean, come on.

Zinkey Way, they

I took all that shit from the kink crowd.

You're appropriating it.

We're currently being sued by the kink community.

But when I read the article, because they didn't really go into what exactly they're talking about.

Because it makes your mind wander.

Are they talking about like BJs on the float?

Like on a parade float?

Are BJs being performed?

Because I would be like,

too much.

Too much.

Too much.

You can't do that.

Right.

Well, then never go to San Francisco.

I went to the San Francisco,

it a street fair.

It's like a kink street fair.

And holy shit, there are people getting their asses whaled on.

There are people walking around naked like a paddle.

Oh, okay.

But that is, I don't know, man.

Like, because I don't have kids.

I'll never have kids, so I don't care about any of it really.

But I think, like, I don't think you pull that shit in Red Bank, New Jersey.

If San Francisco wants to have a kink fair and everybody there goes,

have it.

Then you just know not to go there.

But I think, you know, down by the water in Red Bank, I don't know if you want a guy blowing another guy in a fire.

Well, as long as

the guy performing

promises to not

take his mouth off, and so you never see

so you never see

exposed.

Can I get his number?

Never take it off?

That's pretty awesome.

Well, the whole parade, you're going down to all the side roads.

His mouth is just plugged up,

sweating inside his mouth.

I mean, if he wants to do it, but I mean, so like he's made, he's maintained, I could keep it in there for for the duration of the parade.

Don't worry about it.

You know,

I'll make sure that nobody actually ever sees my mouth come off of it so it's exposed to the public.

But you know, it's in there.

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, I think it's a bit much.

I don't know.

I don't care about any of that stuff, but I think that.

Again, not for me.

You could tell me there was a parade float going down and there were dudes blowing each other.

I'd be like, I got to see this.

I'd be like, I got to go up and see this.

What did they put on the float?

It's the one chance in life you'll get to see gay guys on a parade float blowing each other.

I'm passing that out.

I've been to lots of parades.

I've never seen that.

Yeah, but at the same time, I couldn't,

you know, if a mother was like, I don't really want my kids to see that, I could really

be like, you're all a float.

But

am I overthinking or letting my imagination run wild with me?

Is it, it's not that crazy where they're like doing that kind of stuff, right?

On a float?

No, no, because they were talking about how they like they demand to be able to do things.

No, you know what?

There's something called public decency.

And it applies to all of us.

But am I overthinking it and let my imagination go crazy?

Is it more like what you're talking about, like a little tiny whip on a guy's?

I think it's far worse than what you've conjured up.

It's even worse than what I'm thinking.

It's like

from a centipede level of

a float.

I wouldn't be surprised.

If it's that big of a deal that they're like, the kink people should not be allowed in our parade.

Which just goes to show, no matter what marginalized group there is, they're marginalizing somebody else.

Is marginalized upon

a riddle box inside the mystery?

Yeah, there's always someone.

What do you got there?

The nesting dolls of shame.

I don't think we're far out.

I was in Manhattan last night.

I went out.

I went out out.

Ooh.

Wow.

Out-out.

Partying.

Went partying last night.

Is that why you only got three hours of sleep?

Three hours of sleep.

I'm so hungover.

The fact that I'm here is a testament to my life.

Really?

Yeah, I'm fucking.

You You were partying?

It's partying.

You were first partying

since COVID hit?

This was it.

This was the big one.

Have you lost your ability to party?

It's gone.

It's all gone.

I went to see a comedy show, and then we walked, we just wound through Manhattan and walked about three miles through Manhattan, just stopping at a bar.

But dude, the streets are fucking exploding with people.

Like, people are...

There's an energy.

It's a good...

It's a bad time to be in Manhattan because de Blasio has really fucked up the city, but it's also a great time to be in Manhattan because I don't know when you're going to see something like this again.

Everybody was out.

Everybody was like fucking going crazy.

Like, there were just gangs of partiers, like, just wandering the streets.

It was kind of really cool to see.

But everybody was under control, though.

There wasn't anybody.

Was there any criminal activity going on?

Well, yeah, well, what's that?

Well, you know, Jiggy.

You know, Jiggy?

Yep.

Yeah.

He's on TSD.

He got, he got, some guy came up behind him and just punched him in the face.

What?

Poor Jiggy?

Jiggy went down, he got the footage of it.

He was like, He's a victim of one of those weird crimes that you just see this guy circling on a bike, and Jiggy walks past him, and he gets off the bike and fucking jams Jiggy in the face from behind.

Jiggy goes down, and you see him go down, he looks up, and he's like, What the fuck?

And the guy's like, just all crazy, he's like a crazy street person in Manhattan.

No, dude, no, there is a lot of that in Manhattan, but you know,

you know, what are you gonna do?

So, you, but you knew this going into your party, yeah, and you weren't worried about guys on bikes.

No,

not really.

I mean, what am I going to do?

Not go to Manhattan.

There's too much going on there.

That's good, I think.

But it's a different city.

But I think it's the mixture is crazy.

I mean, nobody, like, everybody's half-dressed.

It wasn't even that warm last night, and everybody was half-dressed, drunk and stumbling around.

It was like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Like, everybody's ready to fucking party, man.

One big kink parade?

I didn't see any stuff like that.

I mean, definitely the youth of

the Borough of Manhattan are ready to fuck because they were all dressed like they were ready to fuck.

I was like, even I was just like, this is getting crazy.

Is this what kids are wearing?

Like, I'm starting to get old.

But it was good to see.

It was good to see the vibrant energy and the bars filled and all the street cafes that they've opened up all filled and stuff like that.

It was pretty fun.

It was fun to see.

I mean, I wouldn't do it again.

for another six months, but you know.

Now, how did Jiggy fare?

Did he get up and shake it off or was it got up and shook it off?

Yeah.

He reported to the police?

He did.

He reported to the police.

He went to all the businesses and got like the camera footage to try and track the guy down and stuff like that.

But the cops are like, basically,

the cops are like, well,

what are you going to do?

This is just what's happening now.

And how are we going to try?

You know, we'll do our best.

They're not going to look for him?

They are, but you can't even see the guy's fucking face.

It's just a guy on a bike with a fucking

hat down and shit like that.

And

cops are like, this is just what's going on.

Get used to it.

Get used to it.

Well, I wouldn't.

You see a guy circling you on a bike.

Hey.

Yeah, they might not have said it exactly like that, but Jiggy was like, yeah, they were essentially like, what are you going to do?

Yeah.

You would think you'd be on your guard.

Like, if a guy's circling me on a bike, I'm not taking my eyes off him.

He wasn't circling Jiggy.

He was just like on the street.

And then when he saw Gigi, he went in like a shark and just hit him.

I wonder why, Jiggy.

Like, how does he pick him?

I mean, he's a slight guy.

Because I wondered if it was a racial thing because the guy was black, but like plenty of people walked by that were white, and the guy didn't punch him.

Jiggy Jiggy said he thought maybe he goes, it might have, maybe he thought I was Jewish for some reason, and this is related to all the Palestine fucking stuff that's going on now.

Was he doing the Asian eyes?

Jiggy?

No, maybe he thought he was Jewish.

Surprisingly, for once, he wasn't doing anything.

Yeah, but he was...

It was just out of nowhere, man.

It was crazy.

But didn't the same thing happen to Red Bank?

That fucking homeless guy that was sleeping in front of the store?

That mic was paying off.

Everybody was like, yeah, I came up up to the store.

He had like $10 bills laying all over him.

He's sleeping in the entryway to the store.

And then a night later, didn't he just fucking sucker punch some asshole?

No, he hit a guy over at a windmill in the head with a stick.

Split his forehead open.

So you can't.

And he got out almost immediately, right?

Yeah,

I don't know why.

Maybe it's a false sense of security.

I just feel I'm safer in Red Bank than I would be in Manhattan on a Saturday night.

I don't think it's false.

We live in a lily white suburb.

suburbs kind of making it's everywhere, he's saying, but it is everywhere.

It is, but not on the same level, though, I don't think.

I mean, Manhattan has five million people on it.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, right, absolutely.

But you guys ain't escaping it out here.

But I'm done with New York.

You don't have that shit on Staten Island.

No?

No.

None of the shenanigans that are going on in Manhattan are going on on Staten Island?

No, not really.

Seems like Manhattan and Brooklyn.

Yeah.

A lot of the stuff is going on.

I mean, it's probably going on on Staten Island.

I'm just saying,

in my own experience, I haven't seen a lot of that.

Would you ever join a neighborhood watch?

No.

No?

I don't know.

What am I going to do?

I just feel like you're, you know, you can't even get a fucking ring doorbell without being told that you're the fucking fascists.

Like, well, what am I going to run?

Laws?

I'm not going to try to enforce laws.

The cops ain't enforcing laws.

What am I going to do?

Well, you have, you know, you and some concerned neighbors, you form your little neighborhood watch.

You go around and you just kind of make the rest of the neighborhood feel more at ease that you guys are out there.

You've seen his neighborhood.

What are they going to do?

Hey, your poison ivy's growing onto somebody's property.

We call, like, we, when there are people, because we know, you know, it's a small neighborhood and we're not, and we kind of all, you know, know each other here and there.

So it's like, when there's someone up there that shouldn't be up there, the techs start flying.

That person is fucking trapped.

Yeah.

There was this like crazy guy walking down the street and I texted my neighbor.

I mean, and he was like, one shoe, he had like one shoe.

You guys are all pretending to be bird watching, but you're actually just,

dude, I was like, just to let you know, there's a guy that just walked down the street.

I was like, he's got his shirt off, one shoe on, the pants down to like his mid-thigh.

And he's like, all right, I'll take my, he's got these two giant dogs.

He goes, all right, I'll take my dogs for a walk.

I was recruited as a young man to join my neighborhood watch.

Hard.

They They came after me.

For some reason, they wanted me on the neighborhood watch, and we're like, multiple times

came to my door, and you know, the

villagers, you know, like almost like, you know, like a Frankenstein kind of aspect of it, you know, they were like, we want you to join the neighborhood watch.

And I'm like, take this torch.

Yeah.

Like, I'm not, why, why would I, we don't need a fucking neighborhood watch.

There's nothing going on.

You guys are fucking insane.

Like, you're, you're so paranoid, delusional that you think that this

little town needs a neighborhood watch i was so

not like myself where i i wasn't i was just i kind of just was like stop asking me you know this old man kept asking me that and i was convinced that he then was opening my gate to let my dog out oh really because my dog kept getting out and like the date the gate kept getting open on me and i was like is this asshole fucking opening that gate on purpose to make me think that someone's coming to my yard when I'm when I'm at work and it turned out like I was I was so ready to go over there and fucking blow up on on him.

But then it turned out I stayed home from work one day.

I'm sitting there watching

the fence.

And another dog came by and I saw him opening the gate

with his nose.

And he opened the gate.

It was unbelievable.

And I like, I owe that guy who's dead now

a major apology that I never gave him, though.

You want to do it now?

He went to his grave.

Nah, I mean,

I mean, what will it do?

Apologies.

I thought I let his dog out.

Yeah, but

I could have had a, maybe they, maybe they heard about my

aspirations to become a sheriff in my younger days.

They thought I would be a good candidate for their neighborhood watch.

Yeah, what were they watching for?

It was mostly kids at our time.

Oh, yeah.

It was just kids hanging out.

Like, that's playing music loud.

Yeah.

Just literally hanging out

on the street, just sitting around talking.

Yeah, it's like, what are you going to do?

Like, if you're a kid and like, you hope a neighborhood watch comes up to you because you'd be like, fuck you.

You're an asshole team.

Yeah, like, what are you going to do?

Funny.

Keo, I noticed that your boner's in full bloom.

It's looking good.

It's got a little poison ivy.

A little bit of poison ivy, but still.

Yeah, it still works.

Yeah.

Why not?

And if it's still working, hey, let me hip you to something.

This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

It's been a hell of a year.

Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months.

Okay, that's not true.

Oh, they wrote that for you to say?

Yeah.

I don't feel that way, though, Blue Chew, so I'm going to have to contest that one.

Spring is here, and it's time to get sprung with Blue Chew.

Oh, summer's almost here, man.

Yeah, I think it is here.

No, 23rd.

21st, right?

21st?

Oh, okay.

20th, because I think it was sleepier this year.

20th?

The heat sure makes it feel like it's.

Oh, my God.

The heat?

It's been raining every day.

You guys haven't dealing with this?

Yeah, but like late May, early June, it was like fucking 90 every day here.

For the last

based on my pool swimming time, it has been raining a lot the last two weeks.

It's like every day, it's like raining on Staten Island.

Yeah, you must get something because you're like out more on the tip, like with something we don't get.

Maybe, yeah, because it seems like when I look at a dark sky, it seems like it's always going over the ocean and then right over you guys and right over Long Island and Manhattan.

Actually, my uh, I had to um

I'm having fucking like trees dying on my property because they're getting too much water.

It's like crazy, yeah.

I've had to mediate the situation a little bit.

Well, let me tell you about this: happier things than your trees dying.

Uh, blue chew is a

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Going limp, right?

You should feed some Blue Chew to your trees.

See if you have a lot of fucking willows right now.

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How long do you need to take it before, like, let's say

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It takes a half hour.

Right, but it has a shorter life than the other one, which is basically Viagra.

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It takes 24 hours?

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I think it takes an hour.

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Let's say things got home and it didn't work out or something terrible happened in between getting home.

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You would still need stimulation.

It's not just going to make it.

The times that I've taken, but I took Viagra, not Blue Chew, but the times that I have taken it, just to see what it was like, it wasn't like just boing, oing, oing, oing, oing.

She still had to do some work.

Okay, gotcha.

Right.

She can't be totally lazy, right?

She'll just show up in a garbage bag and expect this dick to fucking salute.

I thought, yeah.

How much blue chew's in there?

Even blue chew would agree with that.

Blue Chew should work on a pill that makes it that she can wear a garbage bag.

And you'll still be ready to go.

That should be the fucking motto.

Why?

She can wear a garbage bag and and you'll still be ready to go.

Yeah, but I don't want to fuck her in a garbage bag.

I want her working a little bit.

Like me taking a pill doesn't abdicate old-harm responsibilities to be minimally attractive.

But I think you would get more people being like, okay, it's that good.

Yeah.

Like you could be wide a parade and you're not even interested in what's going on.

You're still going to be.

You're just blowing each other on the thing.

And that's still enough to get even the most heterogy ready to rock.

Isn't that, though, the

thing that so many kids are like, oh, I have to go up to the chalkboard with a boner?

Like, isn't a boner something you don't want in public?

That's what I was talking about.

Like, could it be a complete faux pas

to take it too early and then you're starting to get it at the restaurant?

Oh, because you're thinking about what's going to happen.

Yeah, before you even know if it's going to be a.

Energy's in the air, you know.

Yeah, and then it could be a turnoff to like, you know, when you when you're leaving, you know, it's obvious you're aroused and ready.

What do you want?

You're not in a garbage bag.

But I would think that that would be, the timing has got to be, it's almost got to be synchronized.

You like perfectly car on the way home.

You pop it in.

What'd you just take right there?

Nothing, nothing.

Painkiller.

I'm an addict.

I would be terrified if I had to go into that kind of

timing aspect of it, you know, yeah, that I would plan it poorly and I would be in a situation where all of a sudden I'd be like, oh my god, not now.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, what's the worst that happens, though?

Well, everybody sees.

You're shamed.

Yeah.

Boner shame.

Just pull your t-shirt down, stretch it out a little bit over the boner.

That's why I always wear like a hoodie or something, so I have that extra light.

Is that why?

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever been on stage and gotten a boner.

Now that I'm thinking about it.

No?

No, I don't think so.

I want to think, I've never been like, like I said, the stereotype or the cliche of being up in front of the class and getting a boner.

That never happened to me either.

Where's the most inopportune moment you can ever think of?

I don't know that, that's what I'm saying.

Like, I don't think that I've had that experience of

shame about a boner.

You've never just fallen asleep in a long car ride and it's just all of a sudden, you know, with your friends.

Somebody's placed a coat over your lap

McDonald's band upside down

let them sleep

you know

usually that's like the one you can't control because you're sleeping

yeah no I never had that issue I mean definitely like in the firehouse like I've woken up with like a boner

you know so around the other guys or just when you're on duty just by yourself, just looking at the guys, just watching them drilling someone

running hose and stuff,

yeah, running hose, yeah, humping all that hose all over the place, and it's great.

Uh, that's for those people who are bitching about the commercials, yeah.

There you go, yeah, oh, that's about

you, people are bitching about commercials, they're not funny anymore.

Well, I mean,

I found out that the funnier they are, the less chance that we get paid because

we do free commercials without even knowing it,

Yeah.

People cannot expect fucking burrow treatment of any of the sponsors anymore.

No, no, that was the swan song that turned its advertisers to tell them go fuck themselves.

I was afraid they were going to threaten fucking litigation.

It was so horrible.

Some of the things we were talking about on the air.

Well,

I revisited that with Mary Beth recently, and I was like, what was it exactly?

She goes, well, because I was like, why would Burrow be mad if I said something about

the agency?

And she goes, they weren't.

Well, that was part of it, but she goes, the first part was Walt bringing up Hitler.

Understandable.

That's just shows they don't know the show, though, because there's a fucking good chance it was coming up every episode.

That's what I said.

I was like, do they know what show they're advertising with?

And that like things that don't have to do with the.

The product may come up.

And now I understand like there's a difference between like, you know, Blue Chew bringing up something and then like a couch company where like, hey, so about Hitler?

Remember Sherry's Berry's?

I mean we did

they got mad about it too.

Yeah.

We're not portraying Hitler in a good light.

Like he's constantly a douche in us.

He's a jerk.

I don't know.

Did you hear that?

There was some Hitler and something new every day.

There's a brand new sneaker on the line that got pulled because it looks like Hitler.

Really?

When you look at the tops of the sneakers, the way that they made the

way they designed it, it looks like the hair.

Oh, really?

And the little mustache.

And of course,

it's so iconic.

How did they miss it?

When you look at it, you may be like, I could see, you know, especially young designers.

They may not have that kind of like

immediate imagery

forcing them to see

the resemblance of Hitler in their shoe design.

I think they're

a stretch.

I agree, right?

That's a stretch.

Don't you agree that that really does not?

I mean, they're ugly shoes.

I don't like them.

Yeah, they're terrible.

But I would not look at those and be immediately be like, oh my God, that looks like Adolf Hitler.

I would never have seen that.

I still don't really see it.

Or Pumas.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you know, it's the day and age, bro.

Don't you think there's a psychosis that goes along with seeing something everywhere?

Like, I don't consider myself to be a racist, right?

Or an anti-Semite or any of that shit.

Now,

I look at those sneakers and I'm like, oh, they're just ugly sneakers.

I don't see things that other people see.

Yeah.

Like who are constantly looking for something.

It's fucking crazy.

I mean, I guess like their point of view would be like, yeah, well, if your grandmother got sent into a fucking oven, you'd be looking all the time.

You'd have your eyes open.

It's pretty surprised if the people complain and had grandmother sent to the ovens.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah, I think these are probably very young, woke

people who are

looking at this shit.

Fuck, Puma or Puma listened though, right?

But I come from a time where if, like, let's say Puma put out this shoe when we were young, I'd be like, wow, doesn't that look like Hitler a little bit?

That's so weird.

And then I would never think about it again.

Well, yeah, but it's a different era, though.

You wouldn't have social media, though, to have it catch on fire.

It would just be something that you

bemused yourself with, you know, saying and showing up to somebody else and be like, and be like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Now it would be the end of it.

Well, maybe the difference is, like, even with social media, I wouldn't be like, I'm going to go to Twitter and take a picture and put this.

Like, I just I'd be like, I'm going to die one day, and I'm going to fucking have spent some of my time taking pictures of these shoes to complain to Puma.

I'd rather have poison ivy on my boss.

Oh, God, that's no fun.

I was wondering, well, you were talking recently about

your dad

and not reconnecting with him and having that chance and blah, blah, blah, whatever.

Well,

you forgot already?

I was over it.

Weren't you?

Well, you're going to like this question, though.

Go ahead, but I have one for you guys, though.

Like, I feel like you guys may have been the cause of why I felt the way I did for a couple of weeks.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Because we were dancing around talking about how great our dads are.

No,

because you guys professed your love for me.

Right.

And you might be the two only males in my life who have ever said that to me.

Really?

Yeah, that's what somebody said to me.

You know, like, I think that

when they said that to you, it brought up subconscious and brought up feelings to bubble to the surface that you have been.

That's some real insightful shit, man.

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought of that.

That's pretty insightful.

An aunt told you that?

Yeah.

Oh, nice working.

Oh, so you didn't figure it out?

No, but when they said it, I was like, holy fuck.

I'm going to take that seriously.

You're an asshole.

Where are your dad now, Walter?

Go ahead, though.

What was your question?

Well, I was curious if

you're like, you know what?

I may regret it if I don't reconnect.

so you try to reconnect and you find out that he is in jail because he was a legit serial killer are you more or less likely to want to visit him

or have him as a guest on the show yeah

completely and utterly

not contacting him even if if it's even how little i was going to contact him before finding that that information out, now it's even cemented even further.

I wouldn't be contacting him.

Because I would be like,

how far away does the apple fall from the tree then?

Because then I'd be really be like going, like re-examining everything I've ever said, done, and thought,

you know, because of.

I hate women.

All those animals unkilled.

Piss my bed constantly like fires.

Yeah, you probably want to protect your girls from even the association.

And yeah, even it would be, again, it would probably be just my mindset of being like, I would not want to have any contact,

let alone then talk to him.

Not even letters, nothing.

Nothing, huh?

Nothing.

Why?

No, I was just wondering if like, if he would be more or less likely if he, if he did something, which, while evil, is still pretty interesting.

Because if I found out Edgar was a serial killer, right, you know, he gets busted.

They swarm the house.

They swat him.

He's carted off to prison and shit.

How old is he now?

He's like 75.

Well, I mean,

he killed somebody when he was like 18.

He killed like three people over the course of a week back in 78.

It could happen.

It happens all the time.

Yeah, there are tons of people who are like...

Yeah, I was on the road a lot.

What?

That's true.

He's a construction worker.

There are like plenty of construction sites where he could have buried bodies.

Yeah, right in the cement.

Shit.

Who knows how many of his victims?

I'm just going to assume he did it.

But they say, you know, you see,

you know, siblings, not siblings, what's it called?

When you're the children of serial killers, they will still say, you know, when they're doing their testimonials on these television shows, you know, he's still my father.

I still love him.

You know, he did awful shit, and I can't forgive him for what he's done, but he's still my father.

I still love him.

Could you say that?

I mean, I can't say it now.

I don't know if he's killed anyone.

I would definitely visit him in prison, though, because I would be like, dude, what the fuck?

Yeah.

Like, I would want to know.

I would want to know everything.

When did you do it?

Why did you do it?

How did you do it?

I had to get arrested.

Do you really want to know why?

Like, do you really want to know why when he starts to tell you, like, if he told you the real reasons, like, it was all this?

It was all kink shamed.

Yeah, it was all this, like, oh, like, BTK type shit.

Yeah, and he's telling you all this fucking shit.

Oh, that'd be rough.

I mean, how do I, how?

I have a duty to the listeners of this podcast

to expose that shit if it were to take place.

What if it was like it was to not kill you?

What's that?

He proclaimed the reason that he killed other people was so he wouldn't kill you oh so some people do that though like with their uh their wives like they kill other women so they don't kill their wives some serial killers

that'd be something have you guys watched sons of sam no i heard it it was good yeah i liked it a lot you didn't watch it either netflix thing yeah

yeah i recommend it it's uh

It's interesting.

I asked Troy about it because it has like stuff about the cops sort of squashing certain theories and stuff.

And he's like, ah, it's all bullshit.

But he's a fucking cop.

So what's he going to say?

Sure does.

But he was fucking like five when that was going on.

Yeah, but I think he's saying that even back then, like the cops had tied it up.

But Chris Imperioli was doing an interview, and he wrote Summer of Sam, I believe.

He played Christopher in The Sopranos.

Oh, really?

He wrote a book about Son of Sam?

No, he wrote the movie Summer of Sam.

Oh, okay.

And

when he was interviewed, he said that there's no doubt in his mind that there was more than one shooter.

And he did not know what to do with that.

Isn't that what that new series is about?

Pretty much, yeah.

Group of Satanists going around.

Satanic cult, and yeah.

Wow.

And one of the things that I found was...

Why would they want to suppress that, though?

Maybe because they got one guy, so they don't want fear to spread.

Like, oh, wait, who knows how many there could be?

Yeah, but I mean, I don't know.

I just feel that they still would, like, there's cops out there who

would definitely want to bring down everybody involved it was this one journalist terry moria's name was and he he i just bought a book that he wrote uh way back when and this dude was like you want to talk consumed with with a particular subject like this guy would not let it go and the cops hated him because you know he just was like digging and digging and digging and they had considered it closed you know everybody got their awards and their citations and all that other shit and

uh what's his name personally was he ever proven to be correct though

No, I don't think he was ever proven to be correct.

But one of the things that they, you know, when they gave descriptions, the victims, they gave descriptions of the people who shot him, it's like, okay, this one looks like Berkowitz.

This one looks nothing like Berkowitz.

This one looks nothing like Berkowitz, but they do look like these other two guys that Berkowitz said were in the satanic cult with them.

So it's like.

I just don't know why cops would be not wanting to, like,

that's what they live for, man, is to collar and to get these guys.

That's why, you know, I can't imagine them being like, well, we'll let, we'll let these satanic fucking shooters go.

Well, they didn't, I think they didn't have enough evidence against them.

And they like, I mean, it's been time and time again, they've been like,

I think there was some light investigation.

You know, they looked into it, but they said they didn't find anything.

But I think time and time again, cops, you know, it's not a perfect system.

No.

So

you think?

Yeah.

But as we've seen in the past year or so.

If I was a cop in the 70s working on The Son of Sam, though,

all you're thinking about is like, I'm going to fucking write a book.

I'm going to be on,

my career post

law enforcement is made if I could fucking crack a satanic ring of fucking snipers.

Yeah.

I just feel it would be impossible to suppress that.

Right.

Unless it comes from on high, like, hey, we're not looking into this anymore.

No, I don't think it was was Koch at the time.

It was somebody else.

He wasn't the mayor?

No, it was a different guy.

I think he was in the late 70s, early 80s, somewhere around.

Koch was more 80s, because I remember him being mayor.

This guy, I can't remember his name, this mayor.

You think that there was

such a large satanic cult that they had such pull with there was people in such high

in such high positions that they could squash an investigation into a satanic murder ring?

I like that theory.

You like that theory?

I'd like to believe that theory is true.

In the real world, not in the world where we got a fucking ⁇ we got ratings to worry about on Netflix, where the Clintons are drinking baby's blood.

Do you really believe that there's a satanic cult that could squash something that huge?

No, I don't think it's satanic.

I mean, the people

it would have to be like Bezos and Bill Gates and

very, very high up, like Illumina type people.

You think Bezos has enough

juice that

he could squash an investigation into him being a satanic

cult member?

Yeah, I think so.

You think so, Keith?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

You just keep people away from him.

Does he have all the money in the world?

But if you think that guy doesn't know your secrets, everything you've ordered, everything you've done online, that guy, he's hooked in.

He'll just go up to the chief.

He'll be like, hey, look, look what I got here.

Mike?

I got...

No, no, no, that's the chief of police.

I was like, who gives a fuck?

Oh, you mean, okay, the chief of police.

And be like, hey, man, this could go one of two ways.

We could take a look at all this information I have on you, or the PBA can get a nice donation from Amazon.

It's up to you, Chief.

What do you want to do?

And Chief's like, squash it.

Okay, maybe there's one, maybe there are people who are going to agree to Bezos'

ultimatums, but there's going to be people who don't, though.

But isn't he the richest man in the world?

Yes.

What sort of power do you think that has?

I think it has less than you might think.

Oh, I think that's a crazy thing to say.

I think that guy could afford anything.

Everything has a price, and there's one man that could afford that price for everything.

And there's always going to be men who can't be bought, though.

You know what happens to them?

What?

Bottom of the bank.

They die poor.

They die poor and early.

I don't know.

I believe that if there was any

suggestion or like if there was any kind of,

you know how big a story that would be?

There would be people who would not, could not be bought off.

And

so you think he's capable of having someone removed?

I don't think he's capable of it.

I think that he could if he wanted to.

How would they get access to him as well?

Like he could prevent people from getting access to him or access to people around him.

You know, I'm sure he has a very good idea.

There's photos of him at the church.

Oh, like

he's in a satanic robe.

He's drinking some blood out of a skull.

Probably not baby blood, but maybe goat blood.

Yeah.

You know.

Why are you balking at the baby's balls?

Because I don't think they would allow

because if I was in a satanic cult, I'd be like, fucking no cameras while we're drinking baby blood.

But we can have cameras when we're drinking goat blood.

Yeah, but not if you're Bezos.

You're going to be like, no cameras no matter what.

So I assume we were getting like a digital, like a.

Well, it's somebody in the cult who yeah who um

covertly snuck a pic of uh while they were doing the the the goat blood goat blood drinking yeah took a selfie with the goat blood drinking guy yeah i i just feel like yes that nobody i don't care how much money they have they can be bought down

They can be bought down.

Give me some examples of people in history that you feel would be.

Who was that fucking big giant that got hit with a fucking rock in the Bible?

Goliath.

Yeah, there you go.

What do you wait, what?

Goliath, and what was that little fucking little turd that?

David?

David.

David and Goliath.

They were in fields killing each other for no reason.

Like, what are you talking about?

You think these are the paragons of virtue?

Well, I'm just saying, like, there, right there,

is the old story that still resonates and still

can be told today.

Didn't David become a king?

So?

So he became the.

So what he did was

he was a just king.

You think there's such thing as just kings?

You know, if you're putting yourself in power over all people who have no say in it,

you truly believe that you can attain a point where you are untouchable, that nothing can touch you.

I do.

You think Bezos could commit murder and he could get away with it?

I do.

I think it would be easier for him to get away with it than Joe Average, but I don't know that.

I think if he murdered something.

Does that make you sad right there?

That was like the saddest thing I've heard all week

because I was thinking about my father.

I'm just trying to get you a mood.

That is so sad that you believe that you're so jaded.

You're so fucking jaded that you believe we live in a world where the rich and powerful can kill an innocent person and get away with it.

He's working his way up to it.

See the stars in my eyes?

I hate to hear you say that.

But look, I'm not saying he could choke a child to death in the stand on a mall and everyone with their phones out and people would be like, wouldn't it be like, we got to get this guy?

But I do think that if he didn't.

He did it behind closed doors.

He could stall an investigation pretty good.

He could get a cleaner.

He could buy cops.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

My soul hurts to hear you say such a thing.

My soul hurts that you didn't realize this is the world you lived in for all these years.

I like to believe in a world where, you know, that like even the rich and powerful can be bought down to their knees for crimes that they commit.

Well, they can, but only at a certain level, like Phil Spector, not rich enough to get out of it.

Bernie Madoff.

Right, not rich enough to get out of it.

Well, he ripped off.

I mean,

he was rich.

That was egregious.

I mean, he ripped off thousands of people.

Robert Blake, though.

Robert Blake.

O.J.

Right.

I believe that.

We still don't know.

I believe, though, is that more celebrity than power, though?

Just got just they got fucking lucky by just some fucking nitwits on the jury.

No, but the people on the power I'm talking about, you don't know their names aside from Bezos, I guess.

It's like, you know, Brad Pitt, I don't think could kill someone and get away with it.

No way.

Maybe in his heyday.

Maybe, but the second richest person in the United States, I feel definitely can.

Bill Gates?

Is he the second richest?

He's got to be up there, right?

For sure, man.

I think Bill Gates could kill someone.

Get away with it.

He seems like an odd dude.

He seems like a total dork.

Well, isn't he like just like

a computer nerd that never developed?

I don't know.

Yeah, but I mean, you would think, though, that

he seems like when you see him talk and move, he looks like a robot.

Sure.

He looks like a cyborg to me.

I don't even know.

He might be a cyborg.

You know, he's got so much fun.

Anybody.

Yeah.

Top four Bezos, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, and then Bill Gates.

Zuckerberg.

Where have I heard that name from?

Facebook.

Facebook.

Yeah, that guy.

Do they have too much power?

Q.

If you were to be like, hey, you're the deciding factor,

should we take some power from these people?

I don't know.

Well, somebody like Zuckerberg is different than somebody like

or Bezos.

Like, these are people who own media companies, media conglomerates, and affect public opinion by printing what they want to print, not necessarily what's true.

Right.

That shouldn't be allowed.

Yeah.

It's not allowed.

So they have too much power then.

I think they have too much power.

Yeah, but I'll say that.

How much percentage of power would you take away from them just to kind of?

Well, I mean, it's just like, I think there should be laws that it's just like, like what Brian just said, like, why does Bezos own newspapers?

Like, I don't know.

You know what I mean?

Why can he, though?

Because he's too rich.

He can.

He obviously can.

Because he is the guy that, like, he'll buy a newspaper and then he'll be like, then all the editorials in that newspaper will be how you shouldn't tax the wealthy and stuff like that.

But isn't every person who owns a newspaper aren't their beliefs and their creed isn't, doesn't it trickle down to the newspaper as well?

Yeah, I think so, but I think that's why maybe, you know, those people aren't the richest guy in the world fucking making you write articles about how the rich shouldn't be taxed more and stuff like that.

Yeah, you got to think about how hopeless it is these days.

You're like, you know what, I'm going to start a website, a news website, and it's going to be just the truth.

No bullshit, No holding back.

It's like nobody cares about that website.

Nobody cares about that news.

Yeah.

A news is now like, what do I believe?

And what news can I read to reinforce my beliefs?

That seems to be all it is now.

Yeah, there's two sides.

Did you hear Bezos is

resigning from Amazon?

Is that what he runs?

Yeah.

And he's going to take a flight into space.

I was just about to bring that up.

Really?

Do you feel like deep space or just he's going to skim the atmosphere?

Oh, I'm sure he's probably just doing something.

Do you feel that he shouldn't be allowed to buy his way into space?

He is not trained to be an astronaut.

Like astronauts who train their whole lives don't even get to fucking get into outer space.

He owns every part of the launch and everything, right?

I know, but it's still he should have trained astronauts only should be able to go into outer space.

Why?

They're gearing up for space travel for

average Joe's.

If I could afford to shoot myself into space, I don't want you coming along being like, no, don't do it.

Like, I want to go.

Yeah.

I don't believe untrained civilians have any place in outer space.

Why?

Because you're just going to fucking, you're just going to bring every, like, if the mission goes south.

I don't think he's flying the rocket.

Backstreet Boy going to space?

He wants Lance Bass Wild.

Yeah, all these celebrities want to get in outer space, but there's a reason that they can't do the rigors of the training to get into

be an astronaut.

So they just want to float in there with their money and fame because it's not fair.

To who?

To the rest of the people.

So astronauts who train.

He's his money.

Let him spend it on whatever he wants.

What do you care?

Like, well, what do you mean, fair?

Fair.

Yeah, that's like saying he shouldn't be able to drive a fast car because he's not trained as a race car driver.

Yeah, fair doesn't have anything to do with anything.

Well, what about the people he puts at risk, though, on that rocket?

But they could choose not to go up with him.

Right.

But I don't know.

I I just feel like it's.

I wouldn't go up with him.

No.

Why?

Nah.

Because exactly.

But don't you think that's the safest rocket

that's ever been built in history if he's on it?

I don't know.

You would think, but what the fuck?

Did you see it was being mocked?

No.

For what it looks like?

What was it looking like?

Does it look like Hitler?

Yeah.

Hold on a second.

I'll show you here.

It's

just.

The door is a little mustache.

It looks like something that

Blue Chew would

advertise.

That's fine because to me, the people making fun of what it looks like are

shenanigans.

They're haters.

They're haters, man.

Yeah, they're saying it looks like a dick.

So what?

Doesn't every rocket ship look like...

They're all phallic.

Yeah.

But I think this one has a head on it.

It's like it's cut.

But what is he going to get out of it, though?

He's had an obsession with space travel his whole life.

So he wants to go and do it.

But like, he's, but you don't approve of this because to me, he's advancing all the technology with private money.

If he was to go up by himself, that'd be like, good for you, man.

Good on you.

Like a Howard Hughes type thing.

You go up by yourself.

Don't bring those fucking people up there to jeopardize their lives.

He's bringing the going.

He's putting a gun.

It's a job.

Right, but you know.

He's going to run into burning buildings for a moment.

They're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, but

you didn't set the building on fire, though.

And you didn't.

And

this man is now putting his crew at risk so he can take a joyride.

A joyride into fucking outer space.

Yeah, but I don't want anything to say.

And what happens if it crashes on a populated part of the country?

Well, I'm pretty sure they got to have that worked out, right?

That's what Ham's concerned with.

That's what Pam's concerned with.

You're right.

What if it does?

You know, I mean, what happens if, like.

Then people die, I guess.

But I don't think, yeah, we should

be allowed to put

his crew at risk.

Like fucking pool.

God damn it.

So he could take a joyride up into the upper atmosphere, though.

What would the fallout be?

The rocket breaks up, it falls to the earth, and it kills some people.

It lands on some populated areas.

Is he done with?

He's dead with.

No, no, no.

Like part of the rocket that doesn't return, that he's not in the capsule, just like a

dude.

Look, you know my feelings on Bezos, so he'll fucking try to weasel out of it.

He won't even do right by that.

That's what a kind of scumbag this motherfucker is.

Probably wears Puma Hitler sneakers.

Not get a package from Amazon as I see like what's going on.

I don't know why you can't see that he's just a piece of shit, though.

But whether he's, but that's not what we're talking about, though.

Like, I believe he's a piece of shit, but like, why

but why are you so upset about him going into space?

I told you why.

Because, because it's not making sense to me.

He feels that he wants to take a joy out into space.

Then go yourself, asshole.

Don't take a crew with you that you're going to, that you guys can go, they can get lost in space.

And not literally, but they can, you know, I mean, not like the TV show.

Because this asshole, this millionaire.

This sounds like a TV show, though.

But they want to go.

They want to go.

They want to go because

he's made it too enticing for them not to go.

But that's fine.

They still want to go.

So it's like, what difference does it make to you?

They can be bought, just like we said.

But I mean, just because the fact that he can offer them so much money to do it doesn't mean he should.

It's not worthwhile to anyone.

Look at the money.

This is complete and utter waste of fucking resources, though.

But it's his resources.

I know, but in the world today, where we're talking about like, you know, making things right the way they should be, what does that mean?

We should be boycotting this fucking cocksucker.

They are.

I don't see a big enough and large enough boycotts of him that is going to stop him from going into outer space.

That's because the assholes who are making the signs outside his factory bought them on Amazon and got delivered by him.

You don't give a fuck.

I wouldn't care either if I was him.

Like, waste your day fucking protesting me.

I'm going to space, bitches.

Oh, think about how much money that he's just burning right there that could be used for so many better things.

Yeah, but you're never going to get me.

It's his money.

I don't care how people spend their money.

It doesn't matter to me.

It's his money.

Again, if he was going up by himself, if he was fucking flipping all the dials and he was steering the ship, then I'd be like, go for it, asshole.

I wouldn't have a problem with that.

Why am I still talking to you?

But I tell you, I wouldn't be that upset, though, if it fucking was a complete and utter cluster fuck, though.

It'd be amazing if he died, if it exploded.

Who's next in line to run Amazon then?

Well, he's already picked his successor.

He's leaving, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Now, why?

So it's not.

You have to wonder why.

It's all smoke and mirrors.

There's got to be a big reason why he's relinquishing power there.

Reducing his public profile so he can fucking practice his Satanism in public.

I mean, if you were the richest person in the world, would you go to work?

No, if I was him, no.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know why he continues to.

I think he went a decade too long.

I would have been like, fuck, I don't care what you guys do with this shit.

I'm out of here.

Yeah.

You going anyplace this summer, Q?

I am hopefully going somewhere.

Yeah, I'm going back to L.A.

Gonna go back to L.A.?

I gotta go back for work, yeah.

But I don't really consider that a

trip trip.

And one week from today,

Walt and me and Frank five and the ladies.

Yeah, you gotta know.

You guys never told me today that you do you know when you're gonna be at the Grand Canyon yet?

I think that's the problem is like we can't predict exactly what day we're gonna be there.

But you leave when?

The

next Sunday.

20th.

So well, yeah, they're leaving a little earlier than me.

So, but how many days do you have for this trip?

There are no, yeah, that's the thing.

None of us have any any reason to get back home.

So we can take it like super slow and easy and lazy.

Like, you want to stop here?

Sure.

I think that's great.

Look, man,

if it's the last week of June, first week of July, I'll fly out.

Meet you.

Yeah, once we get a more firmer idea of when we're going to land in

the house.

I would love to fly out, man.

I think it would be great.

My point.

We might be missing some TSDs, right?

Let's let everybody know that there could be some gaps.

Well, I think we're going to miss one simply because it's the 4th of July weekend and we won't be here to record it.

So maybe let's take a holiday.

Let's take two weeks.

Two weeks, you think?

Summer break?

Two weeks.

Maybe we deserve two weeks.

We definitely deserve two weeks.

You'll get this one, then you'll get another one, and then we'll get two weeks off.

Yeah, come on.

I know.

Who's going to judge about that?

Oh, fuck.

They will.

So, whether it's for work or play, a lot of us are going to be on the move this summer.

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Not only am I stocked up with Raycons for everybody on the trip,

I've been

putting together my travel,

my must-haves on the travel.

I got a new backpack.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got hiking shoes.

Never wore hiking shoes before.

Bringing hiking shoes, huh?

Yeah, I got hike in shoes.

We're going to arches.

Oh, by the way.

Bringing them in right now.

Oh, you got them on right now?

Yeah, I got them on right now.

Oh, also the sneakers.

Yeah.

That guy told me at the store to go I could hike in these.

He said,

Nice.

I said,

Yeah, sure, why not?

Why don't you buy them and take a hike now?

I looked at hiking shoes.

I just can't pull off hiking shoes.

They're not cheap.

Well, they're not cheap, but also I don't think it just wouldn't look right.

You know, I just don't feel like I got it.

I just need to have a hike and sneaker.

Well, I think we're, you know, we plan to go to Arches

National Park.

We're going to Grand Canyon.

I feel like the trails that we're taking are going to be like those half mile loops, those mile loops.

Oh, dude, I want to go.

You want to scale a mountain?

I want to be like,

I want to dangle by my finger fucking tips.

Oh, yeah.

Off of

the side of a mountain.

I thought it was a little bit more.

Yeah, I thought that's what we were all we're doing.

Me, you and Frank.

Girls, girls, watch us.

No equipment, no ropes.

Right.

Nothing.

Like, you see those motherfuckers climb with just their, with their fingers?

Yeah, I do.

I see them fall a lot.

I don't have that kind of hand

hand strap.

So the three of you die

and you're up in heaven and you find out that

I attended Frank Five's wake instead of one of yours.

Like, are you upset up in heaven?

Why couldn't they do all of them, all three wakes at one time?

No, it's not happening.

All the coffins lined up

up north and stuff like that.

And I took the trip rat, like, I took a pass in your wake.

I just felt like

I got Frank Five killed.

So I felt I should go represent.

I would think that you did it on purpose in the hopes that there's an afterlife, and I'd be like, that fucking cocksucker.

Do a eulogy for Frank Vive.

Oh, eulogies.

Yeah.

Oh, right, right.

Do it for Frank Five.

Yeah, have we moved on that?

Eulogies at all?

We haven't, right?

Are you looking at me?

Of course.

You do everything.

Am I going to look in a mirror?

Look at him?

No, I didn't know.

I didn't know if you had picked all the names or anything.

No, no, I haven't really done anything.

I mean, that's

usually like I don't really like to come in because you guys are like, you're so excited for it.

So then I'm not going to be like, well, I'm going to now take it and take over it and just start to

force my way of doing it because I don't know.

Because you guys seem to have like a

bad name in the thing and do.

Yeah, I mean, I.

Oh, so you want?

Oh, so I don't have to do it.

Get him.

I want you to get them.

Write the names down.

People who are going to do this.

He gets paid, you're right.

Not yet, not yet, no?

Oh, shit.

All right.

Hey, bud.

You want to do me a favor?

It would be fun to do Guinness.

Yeah.

Guinems would be a good one.

That would be a good one.

Because you can really grind them down.

Oh, yeah.

It's basically another roast.

It's just

my wife has been wondering, speaking of the trip, though, she's been questioning.

She's been questioning

more than once your stamina

my stamina and if you're going to be able to make it

make it where

like why do you keep asking this and why me on the burrow or like on the dock like i i with the drive she no no just i'm just talking about going going down into the canyon and coming back out yeah but i mean it's not like i weigh 300 pounds anymore why why now

well she's worried though that she's going to be the um like that she's going to be tired and won't be able to do it.

I didn't tell her about that.

I need somebody to hang out with.

I need someone weaker than me.

And she's going, well, I mean, I walk all the time.

I got to be able to walk more than like Brian.

He won't be able to do it, right?

And I'm like, I imagine he'll be able to do it.

She's clowning you, dog.

No, I'm getting clowned over here.

I could see it like the bottom of my health.

Like, maybe, in fact, I would agree with her.

No way I couldn't make it.

Well, we're questioning both of us.

We're questioning ourselves because last weekend we went to Smithville.

I don't know if you know where that is.

No.

It's down South Jersey.

It's just this little

shopping grounds that have like outdoor shops on these grounds that you walk.

It's a flea market?

It's not a flea market.

It's like quaint little shops.

Okay.

Like old looking,

you know, kind of like from another.

from another time, another era.

So far it sounds exactly like you're describing a flea market to me.

I don't don't know what the difference is.

Flea market, when I see, when I hear or picture a flea market in my head, I picture like the table, no structure above it.

You know, it's not in like little, tiny little houses that you go in and so these houses are built in the field and stuff like that?

Yeah, it's a very quaint little

area.

And there's quite a bit of shops.

There's a bit of walking.

And by the end of the fucking day, last Sunday, I was like, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to make it through a fucking canyon.

I go, I'm walking from, I'm walking from like a t-shirt store to a kettle corn stand, and I feel like I'm gonna be able to take a nap.

Was it hot?

It was brutal because I was looking up Arch's weather, it's 105 degrees.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Like, so are you wearing those sneakers?

No, that's what made me run out and go and go find and like, you know,

went to Target, and I was like, I asked the guy at Target, I was like, can I hike in these?

And he was like, fuck you.

So, you guys are working on your hiking trip, and none of of you have built up your hiking middles at all.

Not one, not one.

I've got another race.

I'm not doing it.

I'm fiddling, baby.

I'm fiddling.

What kind of

mini hikes?

That's what you would suggest we should do to

acclimate ourselves.

If you were worried, which it sounds like you are.

I'm only worried because of the temperature.

I believe

that could really wipe you out those 105 days.

What about

those air conditioning, like neck units?

Have you seen those?

No.

They're like you wear them around your neck, and it's like a unit that blows like air conditioning around your neck.

I was thinking about those things that I've seen the kids will do.

They're like these boards, and they just kind of put their feet forward and they move.

I was wondering, like, if you just get that and just like kind of take, they're only like $120.

Yeah, I mean, if you, I have one, I could bring it here next week and you could try it out.

I mean, I know it's, I wouldn't do it around any ledges.

No.

But it's good to do that.

You'll end up like the guy who actually invented it, right?

Or no, the guy who bought the cup.

Yeah, can it go over rough terrain?

I use it in my yard, like on the grass and dirt.

I don't know how much rough it is.

You're going to use it in 45-degree rocky trails and shit.

No, I wouldn't do that.

And the battery does, you know, it's going to die.

You have to charge it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is this what you're talking about, Walt?

That's what I'm talking about, yeah.

Oh, that's the thing you put on your door.

Yeah,

it's a tube.

It's like a personal air conditioning thing.

Yeah.

I've I've heard that water, got to drink a lot of water.

Sure, good advice, I think.

I'm going to now purposely jog in place.

I'm going to be running up and down the trails.

I'm like, come on, guys, come on.

But I'm not the biggest

drinker because I get bloated when I drink water.

I feel like it wears me down.

You like Gatorade?

Because I've been drinking that G2, like that very low sugar Gatorade type stuff.

It depends on the.

I only like one flavor of Gatorade, orange.

Yeah, me too.

But yeah, water gets sloshes around in my belly.

And the last thing I feel like doing is like getting a belly full of water and then like running around.

Well, you'll be sweating a lot, so it'll be replenishing that.

It shouldn't sit in your stomach, you know?

Yeah, I hope.

I don't, I'm not a big sweater, though.

I don't, I don't perspire a lot, right, Brian?

I mean, you grew up with me.

Remember, like, you guys would be soaking wet, and I'd be dry as a pickle.

Yep, a pickle.

Right?

Our pickles dry.

We're dry as a cucumber.

Sorry, cucumber.

I think it's cool as a cucumber.

Dry as a bone, maybe.

But like, you remember,

you could even put your hands on my pits and they wouldn't even be wet.

I did it several times.

Look at this guy.

He's dry as a pickle.

But yeah, I don't really perspire that much.

And I don't know if that's good or bad, though.

At 105 degrees, I got to wager

you're going to bust the sweat.

Definitely.

And you're probably not going to be overdoing it because it's such a large group that slows it down.

You know, you don't want to wear out.

They'll be waiting up for me, no doubt.

Yeah,

yeah.

Yeah.

I can't believe I got to prove myself now.

This is new.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You really.

She's going to be.

She is.

Now you know that Deb is going to be constantly monitoring you.

Judging.

And judging.

Well, she knows you have two fake knees.

I only have one.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you had two.

Cyborg.

Yeah.

Get him.

I'm glad you're here.

No.

We need you.

How's your urinary tract?

Get on that mic.

That mic, okay.

Yeah, come on over here.

We want to talk about care of.

Oh, care of.

Yeah, we need to know about your urine.

It's pretty good.

Yeah?

Yeah, nice and clear.

You little yellow morning, but how much do you check it?

Do you check it thoroughly or do you just give it a half-ass check?

Every time I pee, I tend to look down so I see where it's going.

You don't have like one of those pH.

Do you pee through a strainer or anything?

So you see

to catch anything that might come out?

Stones and whatnot?

No, no.

I don't catch it in a strainer.

Well, we're talking about Karev.

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Science is good.

People trust science.

Oh, yeah.

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And it's an easy-to-follow routine, right?

Giddam?

Yes.

It's little packages.

You just open them up, take them down, a little bit of water, boom, done.

I tell you, nothing against you, Giddem, but the guy we should have grabbed and just lied and said he was taken care of is Sunday Jeff.

You see how jacked he is?

Oh, yeah.

Like, we should just say that's all because of care of.

He's jacked.

He's denying any disease that comes his way.

Yeah, he's something else.

He said he considered a TB ward a singles joint.

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Are we going to bring a first aid kit?

Probably should, right?

Can I give that to you?

Sure.

Weigh you down.

Yeah.

I'm the donkey now.

Can I give that to you to make sure we have a first aid kit?

Sure, yeah.

If it's stocked?

Definitely.

Well, you're not.

Not just with pills and everything.

Should you give them one of those

ace bandages and tape and scissors.

She got one of those things where you hit the button and alerts emergency services no matter where you are in the world.

Yeah, we're all aware of life alerts.

Do you have one of those?

No, I don't.

I'm not saying you're not going to have a guide when you go down the Grand Canyon?

No, we want to do it like we want to do it real.

We want to have help.

We want to do it so we need to be rescued.

We have to have achievement then.

I mean, but what are you trying to achieve?

Get down to the bottom and get back out with no help.

But why?

Because it's a show that we can.

Man versus

Earth, aren't you taking a donkey?

I might not.

I might try to get down on my own and just be like, I don't need a donkey.

Right.

And beat all them down to the bottom.

Look at them go.

Oh, no, it fell.

Let's see.

Carava.

Bacteen.

The carav app.

Yeah.

Bactein's a good one.

Bacteen band-aids.

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Snake bite venom.

I like that anti-disrattlers out there.

Suck the venom out.

The poison.

I'm going to just keep telling Mary Beth I got bit.

I can't believe it bit me here again.

We should bring.

I mean, you're probably allowed to bring your gun.

Yeah, I'll just carry it to my

state to state

on the dashboard.

oh what this isn't allowed

i thought i still lived in america

we're going to arizona i thought it was okay to go there i think arizona yeah there are several states though that they're like it's not cool to have a gun on your hip i did wonder that though i was like if i uh if i brought it would i be allowed to carry it in another state but it's so like the the the information that i'm seeing is so sort of vague that i'm like i don't think i'll risk it just in case well we should have some sort of protection against wild animals though Yeah, like maybe, what do you think?

Like a dagger?

Bear spray?

I think waltz shoes are the best defense because they'll be the slowest.

What about bear spray?

And that works on all animals, right?

Not just bears.

Not birds.

Birds are immune to bear spray.

Yeah.

How come?

They can't sense heat.

Like hot spiciness.

Q looking at him in wonderment.

Like, how the fuck does he know this shit?

He doesn't.

He just.

You know that birds don't taste spicy food.

Yeah, that's why they're immune to peppers.

And

they're the main way that they're carried around.

Okay.

All right.

So wait a minute.

So if there was a pepper underground, a bird won't go near it.

Well, it can eat it.

It can eat it and it would not sense the heat at all.

So can any fucking animal, though.

Right?

They can eat it if they want.

Yeah, but they don't feel the heat.

It won't burn his mouth, you say.

It tastes sweet to them.

Yeah.

Well, the carav app.

What should we bring to bear spray?

Hold on, let me get this done.

Then we'll talk about bear spray.

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Get them.

Can we even get bear spray in this state?

No, that's.

We might have to get to another state.

Man, have to order from Jeff Bezos.

What about a machete then?

We could get a machete pretty easy.

That would be all right.

I think they sell them at Harbor Freight, yeah.

So now I'm carrying the first aid kit a gun and a machete.

Well, you can't bring a gun, so you just have to, like,

what other thing could we have, though, in case we do see a snake or a scorpion or

an armadillo or anything, any of these things that could hurt us if we come across them?

Uh, I don't know.

I mean, I guess the spray is your best bet.

Although,

with a rattlesnake, I don't know.

Brattlesnake,

work on a snake?

That I'm not sure of.

Yeah,

I'm not 100% on that one.

what would you do brink you what kind of weaponry would you bring uh protection i think like a nice walking stick you could uh with a blade in it

you know like a sword cane yeah like a sword cane i think you'd be right with that that's they probably aren't that common though a sword cane

or illegal

i'm sure if you stop at a flea market you will find somebody selling a sword cane there yeah will it be sharp enough though to chop off the head of a of a cobra yeah you get it.

Where are we going again?

And I'll sharpen it.

I have a knife sharpener.

I'll sharpen it up for you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I don't want boys going out there unprotected.

Would it be like, I mean, we're joking around, but like, we go to arches where we're about to go on the hike, and I'm like, hey, man, I'm not taking any chances.

And it turned out I had brought my gun with me.

Is it upsetting to the girls, you think?

That you have a gun on you?

Yeah, I have a gun on my hip.

I think it would be.

They would be taken aback.

Yeah.

But I think that, you know, they'd be like, I can't believe he brought a gun.

Like,

this is a little weird and a little concerning that he has a gun.

Would they really be that open about complaining if he had a gun?

I think that they would.

They might even say something aloud.

But then that first time, fucking you see something that looks like a snake and you shoot it, kill it.

First, I shoot three sticks.

Finally, I'm like, I know this one's a snake.

Yeah, so it should be something, man.

It should be pretty fun.

Hot as hell.

That's really hot.

That's a little, that's like, that doesn't even sound like fun.

Well, that's what we want to test ourselves, Q.

We've fucking,

since Telm Steve Dave started, we've, we've kind of pampered ourselves.

We've allowed ourselves to go soft.

Yeah.

You know, we are definitely like civilization has made us soft,

wet pussies.

I'm talking better than me and him.

Yeah, all right.

I'm not speaking for anybody else.

I'm not soft, wet pussies.

It's who you.

But I want to see if we can conquer nature now.

Is this like

some form of a midlife crisis that you want to know that you still got it?

Definitely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, because

I feel like I can still conquer the Grand Canyon.

It's 110 there right now.

Just humidity.

Let's see.

Humidity, 2%.

Do you guys have that strap

that you could bring?

Yeah.

Maybe you should bring them.

Maybe you should get

the head strap.

I think I may have a head strap.

Yeah, yeah.

You have a head strap down in the basement?

No, the GoPro stuff's down in the basement.

Oh, that bag of stuff?

Okay.

Maybe that'd be good.

Yeah.

That's some Patreon content right there.

Yeah, record the hike.

Record us running afoul of a snake or bear or something.

Just ricocheting off rocks.

Five gets hit in the shoulder.

Is there another place other than Arches that you're in Grand Canyon, obviously, that you're looking forward to, or are you just like, you don't have anything in mind?

Yeah, man, I don't have any expectations.

I don't have any

like, it's just take it as it comes.

First time in my life I've ever been like, take it as it comes.

Yeah, I just really want it tattooed on my body before I get back.

Little tramp stamp.

Take it as it comes.

You guys are going to head down to it.

C-U-M-S.

Nice.

Wow.

I want to see it with that tattoo.

C-U-M-S instead of C-O-M-E, yes.

It's going to be right above

his pubic bone.

Oh, wait a minute.

C-U-M-Z.

Sunburn.

You got to worry about Sunburn.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah, you got to do that.

Yeah, Mary Beth just bought a whole shitload of a tattoo.

Oh, are you anywhere near Tombstone, Arizona?

No, you won't be anywhere nearby.

I don't know.

I'm not sure if we.

I think that's south of where we're going to be.

Been a while while since we hit up that place.

Yeah, we just have fun going on those cross-country trips.

I was looking at pictures of that trip recently.

Tombstone, New Orleans.

We went to Graceland.

I remember we went to the next one.

Graceland, yeah.

I'm hoping we get into one bar brawl

before we get back to him.

Just to say we did it.

Me, you, and Frank.

Yeah.

I was going to walk in and just take the biggest, heaviest fucking beer mug I could find, just smash it over the biggest box.

You guys jump in.

Got him Frank.

I mean definitely wear the GoPro for that.

Wow.

I don't know.

Did you know that

lobsters can get high, Q?

I did not.

I just want to leave you with this.

I'm assuming

most living things can get high, right?

I know didn't they get bees high once?

And spiders?

Spiders.

LSD.

Yeah, I heard.

Yeah, but I think they did it to bees too, where they like blew the weed smoke into bees.

Well, bees can get drunk on pollen.

Lucky bastards.

There's like a certain segment of the bee population that, like, and the other bees will kill the bees that get drunk because

they can't stop

taking some off the top for themselves, you know, supposed to bring it back to their.

Yeah, they get addicted to it and they're worthless to the hive, so they sting it to death.

Oh, my God, that's so brutal.

It said that

they tested whether dosing the crustaceans with marijuana smoke could ease their pain pain as they're being cooked.

Because, you know, a lot of times

they will cook them alive, you know, like throw them into a boiling pot, which is pretty fucked up.

Yeah, why don't you just fucking kill them first?

I guess you can't.

You can put a knife right through their fucking

back of their head.

Yeah.

But do they have pain sensories and like a nervous system that they feel pain the way

the way that like other creatures can feel pain?

Do they feel love?

I don't think they can feel love.

But it said that the critters' movements noticeably slowed down when samples taken later from their gills, claws, heart, brain, and liver revealed that the lobsters did indeed absorb the THC, so they were high.

Wow.

However,

they then lowered them into 118-degree water to see how they reacted.

They didn't take too kindly to being cooked, and they still made distinct motor responses upon contact with the body.

If you took a pothead and threw them in a pot of boiling water, it's not like they're going to be like, this is cool, man.

It's crazy.

Yeah, I think they were like, maybe, but

the pothead might be like, oh,

it's painful, but maybe not as painful as it might be if I wasn't fucking.

That would be what they were thinking.

No.

I don't think so.

No.

They hotboxed these lobsters, man.

Look, they put them in a vapor chamber.

Wow.

You should build one of them for yourself.

I don't need lobsters much anymore.

No, I meant to smoke in.

Oh, to smoke it?

Yeah, to smoke weed in, a little vapor chamber.

Just what?

Don't they do that where they like tape up the the walls in a room and stuff like that and just smoke it out?

I've never

hot boxing, hot boxing, yeah.

Don't they?

Hot box?

Isn't that what it is?

I believe so, yeah.

You ever hot boxed wall?

I thought that was what you did to your fire stick, so you can watch all sorts of like different websites and watch movies that come out on.

You're thinking of jailbreak, yeah, Amazon.

Oh,

I don't do it,

but I thought that's a hot box.

I'm not going to say somebody named after a day of the week does it either.

Tell him Steve Davis.

Sure.

Why not?

Why not?