#482: In praise of a bear girl

It's an indictment on it's an indictment on science, so I don't give a fuck.

I hit learn something

That semen becomes weak.

Cross-eyed.

Yeah,

and just kind of like they bump into each other like they're like three stooges.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

I'm here with my friend Walt.

Hello.

And my other friend, Q.

Hello.

What's up, boys?

How's it going today?

You're going to be very sad to hear this.

Screen rant.

You've heard of Screen Rant before, Q?

It's a website, right?

Yeah.

They say Batman is a billionaire aristocrat who beats up poor people.

And then Screen Rant says he's not wrong.

This is a writer who says this.

It says, says writer.

My buddy E-Rock sent this to me.

So I don't know who the writer is exactly.

This is old.

But we've been hearing this.

This has been a common criticism of Batman, who people who can't read a comic book and it just, look, the reason he's a billionaire is so he could pay for all the fucking planes.

That's it.

It's a device.

It's a matter of

obedience.

It's just a matter of so they could have him have any device and not have to explain where he got it.

So he's a billionaire.

That's it.

There's no need to dig into it any more than that.

Like, this is fucking, how about just enjoying the com like.

I'll never understand people that are like, well, I'm going to pick up this comic book, but I'd rather know all about the fucking social, political, fucking money issues of Batman as opposed to just like, oh, check it, he's a billionaire so he could afford a plane.

Check.

Now, let me see him dress like a bat and fight the fucking penguin.

Like,

that's it, man.

But the comment, though, that he only beats up poor people, that's not really accurate.

I mean, he, I mean, if you pick up any issue, he's beating up, like, the Joker, the penguin, the Riddler.

They don't seem to be all that destitute.

Maybe he's talking about like the Joker's gang or criminals in the gangs and stuff like that, but those are fucking scumbags who chose to work for supervillains.

So who gives a shit?

I don't care how much money they make.

They suck.

Yeah, he doesn't go after normal criminals, right?

Like,

if he would, if he was on patrol and he saw some, he saw some crime going on.

I don't think he would turn a blind eye.

But for the most part, you don't really see that in comic books.

It's more like

these big

layered storylines of

time travel and

alternate Batman.

The imaginary man has imaginary money.

Don't you get it, Walt?

And he beats up imaginary poor people.

But aren't all superheroes, can't they be accused of this, though?

Well, you can make the argument that Superman's so overpowered over everybody that he's kind of punching down or a bully just because he's so powerful.

That's why you, like, just shut.

Would you guys shut the fuck up and stop talking about this stuff?

Like,

there are people who, like,

i mean they said it in in the in the batman movie some men just want to watch the world burn but some women too okay they just want to burn everything to the ground any institution anything that anybody likes there's something wrong with it i mean they're going after ellie kemper for christ's sakes yeah but

they're not gonna take down batman that that's just some

that's just some dude who's like

what is the point of writing that i don't know but like that's not gonna catch catch fire.

People have been saying it for years.

And Batman's broke in the comic books currently anyway.

Oh, he's destitute.

Yeah, he lost all his money.

Joker stole

$109 billion from him.

And then Lucius Fox has it now.

And for whatever reason.

How did that happen?

How was he able to steal that much money?

Just like online kind of deal?

You know what?

It was actually a fairly intricate thing that they built into the books over the course of like a month.

It wasn't, I'm not saying it was like great, but they didn't make it.

They didn't, I think he hired somebody to do it and he tricked Catwoman into lying about something.

So what he signs the paperwork and just then loses the billions, or does he actually go into like a break into a vault and steal a billion dollars?

I think, yeah, I think, I don't think he goes into a vault and steers it.

It's all digital.

But either way, Walt, I would say to you the same thing I'm saying to every other people.

Hey, just don't think about it so much, dude.

The Joker stole this money.

That's it.

There's a penchant for overthinking things, you think, in today's world.

I think so, yeah.

Dude, you know what?

You know how I know that's true?

Because I overthink things.

Even I am like, should I say this?

Should I keep this in the show?

You're maintaining that you didn't have that, you weren't overthinking things in the past?

No.

You didn't overthink things?

I don't think so.

It doesn't appear to be, right?

I don't know.

I'm saying.

What's this pill?

Let me take it.

I just, yeah, I'm not sure.

Like, I don't know if you were a a victim of overthinking.

I mean, I overthink everything.

Yeah, I believe

that.

Yeah, I spent many years overthinking so many things.

I still do to a certain degree.

Do you look back

and

feel like, wow, there was no reason to overthink that?

Like,

why did I spend so much time?

No, I don't ever go back and be like, I should have stopped overthinking.

I have, I mean, a couple of weeks ago, and we were down queue.

Remember when we were

the

store, not last episode, but the previous episode, and we both were out of sorts.

One of the things that had been bugging me was the realization that I didn't mention it on the air because I've come out of it.

I kind of came out of the dark area of

like for 50-some years, I didn't let the fact that I didn't really have any kind of relationship with my dad bother me, but like out of the blue, it just really just like kind of like

smashed me in the face.

And And it took me, it took me into like two weeks of like

not being in not being myself.

And where'd you end up on it?

I don't know.

I just woke up one morning and I was just like, I just didn't, I was just like, there's really nothing I can do about it.

And it kind of just went away.

I don't, yeah, really.

I don't know.

I mean, so you're not talking about like, oh, I'm, you're thinking about having a relationship today.

You're like, the relationship that never happened.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, it was, it was like, why did, like, you know, what was wrong with me?

Like, that kind of like like pity kind of like bullshit that

we all do.

But, like, you know, that kind of like, what was the matter with me?

Why?

What was, what did I do wrong?

Oh, bad place.

Wow, I'm surprised that you felt that way because, like, I mean, clearly you're not the issue.

You're awesome.

I love you, man.

Oh, thank you.

But, yeah, but, you know, but like, I mean, I think we're all.

We all fall victim to that at times of being like,

I don't want to to say victim, that's too hard, hard a word, but like

I was really overthinking it, really overthinking it, and really letting it like get to me for like two weeks.

I don't know why.

Did you talk to anybody about it?

Not really,

a little bit, but

I mean, what can you, there's no like, there's no like pep talk that's going to bring you out of it.

There's like, there's no like, there's no salvaging that kind of

massive

decades work.

Yeah, there is.

And especially, because I don't even know if he's alive.

Like, there's no going back and like, if he's not alive, and even if he is, there's no way it'd be too awkward.

Like you guys throwing a football in you.

Yeah, I don't know why.

It took 50 years, though,

for it to be an issue.

Wow.

And then it became an issue.

Behind that, that's pretty out there.

Because you've never cared.

No.

You've never even wanted to talk about it.

You're always just like, yeah fuck it no yeah i don't know why like i don't know what spurred it on but then it became a little like itch

and or like a little like twitch in the back of my head and then it came to the like raging to the forefront and i couldn't stop thinking about it

that's where you need therapy right

you don't need it you got over it yeah but what if it comes back yeah well i mean what if it never left you're just squashing it down yeah there you go yeah i i don't know, Walt.

I don't know if therapy is, because what you're talking about is a pretty, to me, obvious reason why eventually in your life, I don't think anybody would be like,

he fucking contemplated his relationship with his dad, saw there was nothing there, and he got upset about it.

Well, how weird is that?

Like, I feel that's a straight line.

I think the therapy would be like, which I don't think you want to do this work.

The therapy would be, well, is it a lot of work?

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Like, how has that affected your relationships with every single person in your life?

Well, that's what I was doing in my head.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

You were doing that.

Yeah.

I think, though, as far as your children are concerned, you would say it affected it for the better because you're like, I don't want to be a dad like my dad was.

Yeah, but like, you could still be like, no matter what happens, though, I could still be like, well.

You still like well, I did this with the girls and this is why I did it and I shouldn't have did that.

Like, you're like, it's not this, you know, there's always

second guessing and

wondering, like, like, if I had a better relationship, would I even have a better relationship

with everybody in my life?

You know, like, I believe it probably did,

where I never did or never allowed myself to think about it.

I believe it definitely

altered me and stunted me

my personality or my

me as a person, though.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's another fair thing to say, dude, that like without the guiding, loving hand of a father, your life turned out different than what it would have been if you had it, for sure.

But in what ways, though, you got to wonder.

In what ways?

And it's just like, but you're also a high-functioning, successful person with a great family.

So it's like,

you know, you got to keep, you can't just look at it like, what did I lose out on?

Like, you might not have what you have today if that guy was around.

Yeah, that's definitely, you're, you're right, but there's also that lingering, like, well, what could it have been?

Why wasn't it what it should have been?

I could have been twice as awesome.

Yeah, that sort of stuff.

You, you should go to, you could go to therapy for, and I would actually encourage you to do it.

I just don't think that you'd want to.

It sounds like it is a lot of

heavy lifting, right?

It is.

Mental.

It's a lot of talking about yourself to a stranger in very honest terms.

Yeah, but you guys do it, right?

And you get, and you get, and you feel good about it, right?

Afterwards, like you feel like there's a definitely like it's a helpful tool.

Yeah, I did it straight for 10 years, and then I've done it on and off.

I'm currently off

seeing anybody because the pandemic was its own fucking thing.

But

my life is 100% better for it, without a doubt.

It changed my life in very positive ways that I still draw upon today.

Do you think it's just because

your schedule and the fact that

everybody and their brother coming out of a pandemic has been scarred in some way, shape, or form and wants to be in therapy.

So there's not enough therapists out there.

They can't even squeeze you in.

That's it.

Oh, there's definitely not enough therapists out there.

You try to get an appointment, it's nearly impossible.

I would imagine that would be the case.

I mean, they must be

overworked to the point where...

like how much are they really going to give me i'm like oh oh you got daddy issues got get in line right yeah these 50 fucking people in front of you they also got daddy issues and then the 50 in front of them have mommy issues

everybody has even if even if you think you don't you probably do have some sort of issue with

you did right oh fuck yeah i mean when i when i used to go to therapy out in la

one time she was like the reason that you date this person is because you're trying to prove to your father that you're worth loving

like really like so no matter what they do to you you're like no no no that doesn't matter like let me just prove to you that like i'm worth not doing that to you

But

how does your dad see that

when you're dating

girls who

have needy issues?

I would say it's fair, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how does your dad

look at you dating a needy person?

How does he see?

So how is that proving to your father, like, see, this needy personality?

Oh, no,

it's proving it to myself, not to him.

okay because since i couldn't get it when i was young gotcha or ever

you know even mom

uh my mother more so but she was like crazy like you know you know what it was like was she was she crazy but like gave you still i would think the attention right that you needed or no she um she gave me attention but a lot of it especially as i got older was negative you know only because i was not the greatest kid but uh a lot of it was negative And the positive shit, I would say, ended probably around 9 or 10.

And then since then, ever after that.

So post-10.

Post-10.

Wow.

That's a long time.

Sure is, man.

43 years.

Yeah, it's rough.

And it makes you question, like, because you're like, well, if your own parents don't seem to love you.

Right.

What chance do you have with other people?

And that's why that's, I guess, why I was doing it.

I'm trying to prove to her by staying and being.

Who's her?

Oh, okay.

Okay, gotcha.

Gotcha.

Not this one.

No, when you said her, I thought you meant your mom.

Oh, or your dad.

No, no.

No.

And then I look back and I'm like, there are times when I'm like, I wish,

I don't know that it would have mattered.

But I wish somebody just fucking hit me over the head and they're like, what the fuck are you doing with this person?

Why do you keep doing this?

And for the last long stretch, it was drugs, I think, that kept me in place.

But before that, I'm like, why?

Like, why?

Like, that's what I would like to address.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

A big mouth who says shit all the time.

Like, why wasn't it big enough to be like, look, bitch, hit the fucking bricks?

You know?

And I can sit here and say, like, well, I was afraid it would affect Sage.

Or I was afraid, you know, I remember talking to Q one time, oh, what would happen?

Like, awful things may happen to her.

I'm her protector.

You know?

Yeah, that was a big concern of yours for a while.

That was.

I don't know, man.

Yeah, it was weird because like you,

we did, I would tell you, I told you flat out at the time.

I would be like, I don't think your life's going to get back on track until she's gone, dude.

And then like two years would go by.

That's what I look back at now.

Like, you know, you look back at John.

I look back at that time from like, say, 35 to 45, and I'm like, I'll never get that time back.

Like time I could have been doing so much other shit, but I'll never get it back.

Right.

Well,

that's the catch, though.

I mean, if you're just going to, you can't,

that's easier said than done, but if you sit there and spin your wheels worrying about that, then you're losing this time.

Yeah, exactly.

You're losing this time, you know, spending all the time spinning your wheels, going, like, I'll never get that back.

Holy shit, I just wasted all that time thinking about it.

And I won't get that back.

Yeah, it's fucked.

Like, as you, it just has to be like

midlife type stuff that you start really contemplating these ways.

Because it it didn't it did never ever ever came into my head never never once felt like i wanted for something more because it didn't matter yeah

it may be it it has to be i mean i mean i i told my wife it has to be that the fact that my girls are adults now out all the time doing things living leading now starting their own lives now right

and so you you begrudge them that life

what about me

sure yeah there's There's a definitely like that, like,

what now?

You know, what now?

That's a big, had to be a big reason why this, my brain would go to such

areas that I never went to before, though.

I never even gave it a second guess.

Never would have even cared about it.

I guess like the next step in a lot of people's lives, like you have two girls, they're both, they're both adults now.

No, Alicia's graduating, right?

Yeah.

Wow.

When you texted that the other day, I was like, holy shit.

I thought she was still in 10th grade.

No, yeah.

But here you go.

And I think that next milestone is like grandchildren, but it seems like neither one of them are ready to have grandchildren yet.

Oh, well, I mean, in the next couple, I mean, it could happen.

You don't know.

Who knows?

I mean,

that's not a milestone.

I mean, that's a milestone, I guess, for everybody, but

I don't know if that's the milestone that I would be like, that I'm hanging on for dear life for.

I don't know if it should be that.

Yeah.

Well,

once the grandchild is there, then you can be like, oh, cool.

Because now you can go back to doing the shit that you love doing when they were young.

Yeah, but it's not my kid, though.

I can't just be like, you like, just take over and be like, we're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing that.

You know, that's for them now to experience that.

Let me tell you those joys.

I wish somebody would be like, we're doing this, we're doing that, we're doing that with Sage because I can't get anybody to do anything with her.

Yeah, we're just a weird, weird little window right there.

Didn't feel like doing anything.

Wow, man, that's a bummer, yeah, melancholy.

To say the least, yeah.

Was it recognized by like the Deb say, like, let's go bumming you up?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

That's it, like Hugh says, though, it's not like it's like not an it's like it's not a non-issue, though.

I think everybody at some point should

come to realize, like, hey, man, I missed out on a lot.

Yeah, isn't it great that level of of regret?

Where you're like, I fucked up.

I fucked up.

Oh, yeah.

And that's like, how did I fuck up?

But like,

what could I have done differently other than just be not what could a child do?

Yeah, nothing.

Nothing.

But that's, that's like going back to Dana, my therapist in LA.

That's what like you would maybe examine places in your life, like, where are you trying to prove?

Like, do you try to prove yourself to other male figures or that kind of shit?

No, no, no, I don't think it's true.

It doesn't seem like that.

It doesn't seem like you do.

No.

Not even Sunday, Jeff.

No.

But

I think it stunted, like I said, my ability to

form relationships because they're difficult to form at times.

Maybe that's like when you guys told me that yesterday, that L-word.

Or last week, I mean.

It's harder to accept from a guy who really didn't hear that, though, from another man.

Yeah.

Yeah, me neither.

It was really only when I met the Staten Island crew that kind of started.

Italians.

We didn't have any Italians in our lives.

We didn't.

No, not growing up.

No.

We needed more Italians.

It was too white-bred our upbringing, man.

Everybody was just white.

We didn't know anybody.

Our most ethnic person in our class was probably Argyrus, a Greek guy.

And beyond that, it was just like everybody was just white.

I don't know.

I was wondering the other day, this has nothing nothing to do with daddy issues or anything, but I was on my way to the

to the fishery down there by your place.

For what?

Getting some shrimp, man.

A nice fat bag of shrimp.

You eat seafood?

Of course, yeah.

Shrimp.

I'll eat shrimp at any kind of crustacean bottom feeder.

I'll eat some crabs, some lobster.

I don't dig on class.

Card is good for your brain, though.

Fish?

Well,

if you don't eat too much, then you get mercury poisoning.

Well, I don't, I really sincerely doubt you're eating that much seafood that you're going to have mercury poisoning.

I got brain damage from eating it.

But I'm on my way down there and it's very like

when it's marshy.

Would you say it's marsh?

You're going by my house, the place that's like not even a real like restaurant.

It's like a shape.

It's like a candy

shack.

It's a little shack at the very corner of the road.

Yeah, it's like you don't even know what would be in that shack, let alone if it's food or a deranged semen.

it's very local.

It has to have no markings.

It doesn't look like it's open to the public at all.

Just a lot of old anchors and

just vessels that will never be able to be seafaring

sea vessels ever again.

No.

Not a lot of foot traffic.

But do they sell fish that they're catching out in the harbor or is it like they bring it in?

Well, they import some stuff.

Like the other day they had those crayfish, those crawdad types of stuff.

How do you know?

How do you know what they have?

Like, are you kept a break?

They have

a

female blast that they put out?

No, and it's not like I went to go get them.

No, no.

No, I went to get shrimp and I saw them.

They were like in a basket

when I was there.

I'm like, holy shit.

Two-for-one lobsters.

They had a nine-pound lobster there, man.

Oh, my God.

It was huge.

I wanted to buy it just to set it free.

Yeah, you don't want to eat that thing.

Just let it go.

It'd be tough and shit.

Yeah, like you catch one of them, you should just let them go.

Why?

The bigger the lobster, the more it doesn't taste good.

I think they're tougher, and it's also like, do you know how?

Because it's all muscular?

I don't know.

It's just older meat and stuff like that, they say.

Yeah, I don't know.

And they, uh,

they, it takes them a long time to grow that big.

So they're like, that motherfucker's old.

He's probably 50, 60 years.

Yep, and so, and he's like, no, it's in this tiny ass tank.

They grow, they live that long.

Oh, lobsters are functionally immortal.

He'll never die.

Unless he's eaten.

Unless he's damaged by

outside forces that lobster.

They're immortal.

They're functionally immortal, yeah.

I didn't know this.

I knew that they were.

Why are we studying fucking lobsters then?

Figured out the secrets of these crustaceans that won't ever die.

I want to go buy them and eat them.

Maybe it'll transfer them in.

I don't think that's the key, or else a lot of people would be

living a lot longer.

Don't people eat those motherfuckers like crazy?

They do, yeah.

I guess they used to feed them to servants and shit way back in the day.

That was like the thing until somebody was like, Holy shit, this tastes good.

But so I'm going on my way down there, and I see this.

I think it's a seagull.

It might have been an osprey.

It was so fast it was hard to tell, but like dive down into the water, and it takes off from the water, and it has a fish in his

claws or talons or whatever.

And I'm wondering, how different is life if there is a bird big enough that at any moment when you're walking down the street, it might swoop down and get you.

Like, how do we change things?

Wasn't that the pterodactyl?

Didn't cavemen have to deal with that shit?

You would think so, right?

No.

I don't think so, guys.

No?

The pterodactyls and cavemen couldn't lift people?

They couldn't lift people off the ground?

I saw in one BC the movie that definitely happened.

Yeah, no, I don't think they...

I think they didn't exist at the same timeframe.

Pterodactyls.

The pterodactyls.

How is it pronounced?

I think the P's Silent, right?

I believe so.

I think that, yeah, I think that we would have a lot more,

like we would have things to ward off birds, like

nails on top of our roofs of our cars.

Maybe we'd wear hats that had spikes on them.

I mean, we'd have to hunt them to extinction.

Yeah.

We can't.

Which is what we would do easily.

Oh, yeah.

USA.

USA.

Like, I don't give a fuck, man.

Like, I don't care about it.

If this thing could swoop down and take me away,

they got to go.

Or maybe if you, like, you spray yourself with some sort of, like, scent that they hate, it also fucking reeks like shit.

No, man.

Like, they got to go.

Well, like, you can do it to dogs.

I know there's birds big enough to pick up little chihuahuas and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

And they can, you know, and they just take them right out of the backyard and fly away.

Did you see that video of the lady who

speaking of fucking beating up a bear, there was a lady who beat up a bear to save her dogs.

Oh, I didn't see that.

That's cool.

Yeah.

She went on.

I felt bad at the bear, though.

What?

I felt bad for the bear.

Fuck that.

The bear was just trying to protect his cubs.

No, no, no.

The bear was on their fucking land, on their dogs.

Or was he?

She's got the deed to prove that's her house.

Oh, he's attacking her dogs.

Well, in all fairness, the bear is sitting on top of a wall and swiping at the dogs.

There's like

five dogs like barking at him, trying to jump up.

And these are small dogs.

Dogs have no sense of fucking size.

No, like they're fucking crazy.

It would be as if I were to be like, hey, Mike Tyson, go fuck yourself

and then push him off a wall.

But yeah, this chick came in tearing out of the house and just jumps up.

And she did, she pushed the bear right off the wall.

She's the bear right off the wall, grabs her dogs and gets in the house before the bear is able to get back over the fence.

Wow, that's ballsy.

I love my dogs.

I love them.

But if I see a fucking grizzly hanging out at the edge of the fucking yard, swiping at shit, I don't know if I can go over there and push a bear without getting disemboweled, though.

She came out so fast, you know, there wasn't a second's thought put into it.

She just came running out and shoved them.

Yeah, she is like, we should dedicate that show to her.

I'm sure it was in some foreign land.

She's not a TSD listener.

California, but.

Oh, it was California.

Okay.

To me, it looked like, you know, like an Australia

situation.

Every time I see animals going crazy, I always think it's fucking Australia.

They go crazy a lot in Australia.

They're kind of known for it.

They're really wild and poisonous over there.

So they got no fear.

When Moser and I went over there, there was like every single...

place you could possibly swim.

It's like, look out for box jellyfish.

Look out for this.

Look out for that.

Oh, you're going to go out into the not even the outback, but just like, you know, off the beaten path a little bit.

Oh, oh well there's going to be probably a spider

who went who was it sal who went there and he has a picture of that giant spider over his doorknob yeah sal went to australia once and it was a huge spider just cramped like it it encompassed his doorknob it was like trying to fuck the doorknob or something

and he was just like i i'm not opening ever opening this door

Yeah, if I was in Australia, I would be like, I would just

strictly only swim in a pool.

But even then, I saw a picture that there's spiders that live inside bubbles in your pool.

Really?

They get inside an air bubble in your pool.

Oh, God.

And then if you just got a fucking pool,

tell me this.

Yeah, not in Staten Island.

These are spiders native to Australia.

They live in air bubbles

inside your pool.

So when you jump in and break the air bubble, he's all pissed off.

He fucking stings you or bites you, whatever those spiders do.

And you've got to be rushed to a hospital while your skin fucking deteriorates in front of your face while you're driving there.

Like, I don't know how Australians do it.

They're a tough breed, the Australians.

Oh, yeah, they seem to not give a fuck.

Like, I watched a lady go out and to

surf that was so rough,

like, like hurricane-style surf, just to save a barrel of beer.

Was it RH?

Would you save a barrel of RNH and hurricane type waters?

Nah, I know how much they cost to make.

I just let it go.

I'd be like, I'll eat that money.

That's fine.

No.

I had a lot of respect for Australians, man.

There's a tough ass mother.

Like, if they were a bigger country, they could probably rule the world.

They're so fucking tough.

I mean, they're the biggest country on the planet.

Well, their population, I mean.

All right.

Yeah, if their population was bigger.

Yeah, but they're so fucking cool, they don't want to, Walt.

Yeah, Yeah, but

that's why they're so chill.

Yeah, but they know they're tough too, though.

You know, it's not like they don't know it.

It's like, you know, they know it.

Leathery skin and shit.

It was that whole campaign.

They're like, run outside 24-7.

We don't recognize skin cancer.

Actually, they do.

When we were over there, there's so many clinics.

Just walk-in clinics.

They look like...

like nail salons here where it's like you can't throw a rock without hitting a nail salon.

And it has to be because

because of the sun, right?

Because they lived their lives like you know,

like never in shade.

Isn't it also, I think, like there's a large section of the ozone missing above Australia?

I believe,

I think so, yeah.

I wonder why just there

hole in the sky.

I don't know.

Let me see.

That would be really weird, right?

Like, that would be like God being like fuck you guys, like, cursing them.

Like, what'd you do to piss off God?

It's the only hole in the whole sky, and it's right above your continent, it's right above, right above your country.

It makes me wonderful Aborigines shit they pulled maybe.

Oh yeah.

Well we like we wouldn't have a hole over our fucking America for all the shit that we did.

What about you, mate?

God loves USA though.

Oh damn straight.

Let's see what ozone layer was damaging the ozone layer.

It says ozone layer depleted and Australia, but then it doesn't have anything.

Why does Australia have so much skin cancer?

As the ozone hole over the South Pole breaks up in spring,

why do they have to fucking put all this shit in front of it?

Why us?

Most Australians and Kiwis have the wrong type of skin for their environment, basically through migration.

The two countries have been populated by many people with fair skin.

When they say migration, they mean bringing prisoners over there, I guess.

Their ancestors hail from much less sunny climates.

Lack of protective pigmentation leaves skin cells especially vulnerable to the DNA-damaging rays from the sun.

You been there, Q?

No, I have not been.

I would love to go there.

I really, really would.

That's one place I, there in Japan, I'd like to go.

And England.

They're both just all of them, just a boat ride away.

I was going to say, you got any more on that?

A little bit.

It says,

so there's that, and then there's

the Earth's elliptical orbit around the sun the planet is about 1.7 percent closer to the sun in january during the southern summer and 1.7 percent further away in july northern summer so that means when the sun is strongest in the southern hemisphere it's 3.4 percent closer to the sun than the north oh my god there's all these percentages and shit add that to the lower pollution levels and cleaner air in the southern hemisphere so i guess it's why the north gets more skin cancer so if you have a protective layer of pollution you'd be you'd be better off.

That's what we need.

We should all leave our cars running overnight.

Many believe the ozone hole, a naturally occurring pool of ozone-depleted air arising over the poles, explains much of the excess

skin cancer rates.

I never heard that before.

Yeah.

Learn something new.

It prompted the establishment of the Montreal Protocol designed to eliminate ozone-damaging pollutants and repair the ozone hole.

Like, this is just shit you couldn't have known when you, like, you, you invent the first can of hairspray.

You're not like, hey, man, this will probably give skin cancer to somebody fucking a thousand miles away.

No, you don't think like that.

Nope.

Isn't it lofty, though, of man to think that they can repair the ozone now?

I mean, it's cause and effect, isn't it?

I would think it's not too lofty.

Well, if it's a matter of just not doing something and it repairs itself, okay.

But if you're going to sit there and tell me now, like, you can create something to repair the ozone, I'm not.

You don't like that?

I don't think that.

I think that's like ridiculous.

Yeah.

I mean, why?

Because it's like, it's like repairing a cloud.

It's like repairing something that like, man, like.

No, but

there's no way to repair a cloud.

A cloud is a cloud.

There's nothing to repair.

An ozone we damaged.

Okay, I could say wanting to repair it, like, oh, good intentions, but the actual fact that you like, like, you, that you could repair it, though,

other than just stop doing what you're doing and it repairs itself, okay.

But if you're going to sit there and go, we have to create something that can repair an ozone.

You don't think that it's possible?

It's possible.

I don't think it's possible.

Wow.

That's so odd.

It's an indictment on, it's an indictment on science, and I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, but why?

I mean, what has science done that's like not impressed you?

Like, what failures are you pointing to that they're like, they'll never fail.

Look at this past pandemic, man.

Did you see all the Fauci emails that are dropping?

All the Fauci emails.

I read it.

What do you say about that?

I mean, it's like,

what are the Fauci emails that I do?

It sounds like I wouldn't want Fauci as my fucking personal doctor if I was fucking out, if I was, if he was in general practice.

Motherfucker changes his mind quite a bit.

Sounds like China's the new Russia.

If Fauci

was like, Jokers, I want to be your guy's personal physicians.

Yeah.

Would you want to be, would you take Fauci on as your personal physician?

I mean, not having read these emails, even?

No, probably not.

Yeah.

But he's like the most famous doctor right now, right?

In the world, probably.

You know, I guess, sure.

Yeah, but apparently there's some emails out there that like he's kind of wishy-washy and maybe outright lying at times.

If you, depending on what the government, no, what your mom

or your fault, what is that?

What's a lie?

What's an example of like a lie?

Like saying that he was adamant that it wasn't a man-made germ.

Oh, but that's not a lie.

That's just being wrong.

Well, knowing what he knew, though.

There was good reason for him to think that it did come from Wuhan.

Yeah.

I think for the sake of the climate, not the

sunshine and shit, but the political climate, it wasn't spoken of.

But now Trump's ripping him.

Oh, of course.

But yeah, I don't know.

Science is, yeah, I don't want to indict all the science.

Just file cheese.

Sure.

All All the science that goes into delivering this podcast, all the ants alone, is like, I don't know, that's pretty impressive.

Maybe these motherfuckers could figure out a spray that'll fix the ozone.

Maybe.

Or robots that

hover up there that release some ozone into the air.

I don't know.

I'm just spitballing here, man.

I'm no scientist.

But I'm saying, like,

it starts with a dream.

It doesn't start with someone saying that's impossible before you even try.

Fuck it.

It's like repairing a mountain.

It's like it's too, some things are too, are

bigger and are in are not in need of us as a species getting involved.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean, you sometimes we need to mind our business.

Yeah, get involved.

Get your fucking know your place.

Can stay in your lane, right?

Yeah.

Why?

So you guys, like, why not just study it and try to find a solution

instead of just deciding it's not out of lane?

I don't understand.

Like, this is what I'm saying.

A mountain isn't broken.

You can't break a mountain.

A mountain's a mountain.

It's in our way.

Let's fucking knock it down.

Okay, but that's not broken.

That's different.

I don't think we should do that either.

But that's also impossible.

It's not broken, though.

But it's impossible to do, though.

You can't knock it down.

Too many people are climbing Everest.

It's a dangerous thing.

Let's knock it down so no one does it anymore.

You could blow that up.

No way.

It is enough.

It is enough.

You want to make it like to make it flat like a plane?

Yeah, it is enough.

We'll find it.

We'll find the dynamite.

We just start at the top.

We start chipping away at it.

It's going to be dynamite.

It's going to have to be fucking like a thousand nukes.

Oh, yeah.

You would need a nuke to blow it up.

Even then, you wouldn't even put a tent in it with a nuke, I don't think.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy or quick.

I'm just saying if humanity wanted that mountain gone, we can make that mountain.

What country is Everest in?

Everest?

It's in Nepal, right?

Is it in Nepal?

Yeah.

Let's say they finally are like, you know what?

It's a fucking insurance hazard.

Too many fucking Bennys are coming in trying to

climb the mountain.

Let's just knock it down.

It'll save us a ton of money with

importing goods back and forth.

And we need freeways.

You'd think that they would go with dynamite?

It's a China-Nepal border runs across its summit point.

Me?

No, I don't think Size is fucking around.

I don't think they could blow up that mountain.

What would it take, though?

Like, if they were later, like, we got to knock it down.

You'd have to drill into it and put the nukes inside.

Oh, I didn't even think about that.

Yeah.

Almost like a planned demolition, like of a high-rise.

Yeah, I don't think it's going to fall down.

I think it's stages.

I think you just got to carve out here and carve out there.

And just then you got to deal with all the rubble.

I mean, where's the rubble going?

Yeah, seems like it'd be pretty expensive.

Yeah, this is what I'm saying.

I don't think science should bother with that, but I do think the ozo layer.

But what if there's cool shit inside that mountain?

You know, there's got to be like what?

Some sort of core, maybe a hollow mountain.

Maybe there's a, it's to another to another existing dimension.

Yeah, yeah, we're not going to know unless we blow that shit up.

Shit, man.

Wow, I mean, you picked the biggest mountain in the world.

Well, that's how I go.

Go big or go home.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Big dog.

If you can't run with the big dog, stay on the porch.

You're right.

You're right.

Don't come here with that fucking trying to blow up an Appalachian mountain anhill bullshit.

Yeah.

Let me

break in to quickly tell you.

What do you got?

Care of.

Now, unfortunately,

we're not recording at the store today, so Giddam isn't here for his

testimonial.

Yeah, can we dedicate this episode to Giddam?

It was his birthday yesterday.

We can.

Was it?

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I didn't know that.

I got to text him.

Happy belated.

Yeah, happy birthday, Giddam.

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Yeah, this is the science that we're doing.

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It used to be pair, but now it's starting to go.

And I don't mean it in a bad way.

I mean, like, I think that looks good on him, though.

Yeah.

Like in a sexy feminine way.

No, not feminine at all.

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All right, that's it.

How old is Giddam now?

43.

And he still hasn't hit his prime yet?

I would have to say I agree with him.

He hasn't hit his prime yet.

I think he still has a couple more years till he's

in that prime zone.

And what do you do you think he'll ever you think he'll get married and have kids?

He wants to.

No, I know what he wants, but I'm asking you, do you think he'll get married and have kids?

Yes.

You do?

I feel that

before

sooner rather than later, well, probably later rather than sooner,

he will have gotten married.

Kids,

he better work on that soon.

He better work on that soon because, you know, the older you get, the more difficult it is for your bullets

to

give semen here.

Care of is great, but I don't even think they're going to be able to solve that fucking dilemma that's going on down there.

What's that you said before, Walt?

Deranged semen?

It's a whole nother meaning of it here.

Yeah, but his semen

is probably right in his prime right now, but if he if he waits even a day past his prime, though, that semen becomes weak.

Cross-eyed.

Yeah,

and just kind of like they bump into each other like they're like three stooges.

They don't know where the egg is.

It happens to all of us, Q.

But Giddam is under the illusion that his semen will always be strong and virile.

Well,

Clint East would have had a kid when he was like 80, right?

If we're to believe it was his semen.

Whoa.

Or not semen that he took

out of his testicles in his youth, like when he was 70 rather than 90.

Can you imagine?

Like, would you even want another kid now, let alone 30 years from now?

Oh, fuck yeah.

In a huge beat.

Oh, my God.

That's that's really.

But I kind of, I told him, that's what I did.

I just wish that we could have another kid, but you know, that ain't happening.

And you don't want to adopt one because you never know.

It's too much of a plan.

But the genes that we got going on, now we're going to take a chance.

Kids like, ooh, dad, I need medicine.

Oh, great.

Look at this one.

Yeah, but I think that Giddam, you know,

he's still got a little window there.

But

just like everybody else, though, windows open and close all the time.

And so he, hopefully, he realizes that a window can close, that he can never reopen if he doesn't get his shit together.

Yeah, he does seem a little lackadaisical about his approach.

He's that ant.

What was it?

The ant and the

grasshopper.

I've known a lot of fucking of them in my life.

I just hop right off my chair.

Their whole life's like a fucking fiddle concert.

Fiddling action away.

I'm like Charlie Daniels over here.

Yeah, but he is under the illusion that he could fiddle until he's in his 50s and it's still going to be.

That's all I did.

I fiddled my 40s away.

I'm a fucking idiot.

Wow.

But what's he?

But what's he going to do?

Like, what version of Getem is going to woo a bride?

I think he, he,

just him being 100% him is more than enough.

The Giddam that I've come to know over the last

year.

Yeah, but the Giddem who like maybe loses 50 pounds or maybe, you know, deals with that beard?

Or are you talking about Getem as it is?

I thought you just meant personality.

Now we're talking about the whole enchilada, though.

The whole enchilada.

I know he's got a great personality.

What girls react to first?

That part.

The first hurdle.

Yeah, because I'm looking at him from my perspective.

I don't give a fuck what he looks like or how what he weighs.

So I'm like, you're awesome, brother.

But

if I had a pussy and a pair of breasts, I might be like, you're not that awesome, brother, because, you know, you need to lose a few pounds.

I don't know.

But is it that big a deal?

Like, I don't know.

I'm not a chicken.

I mean, probably.

It is.

Okay.

I don't know.

I find girls to be far more forgiving.

I mean, I look at Mary Beth and I judge her for like when I was that fucking fat.

I'm like, are you out of your goddamn mind?

No, I think Giddam is like, because there's hurdles with Giddam, where it's like, you have to accept that, because he lives an unhealthy lifestyle.

And so much as that, yeah, he doesn't eat all that great.

Yeah.

He lives in a basement

with a psychotic.

Yeah.

Yeah, like

that's what I would think.

It's the, his,

his habits that he would have to change like shit that you're like, you're like, he'll never do it for anybody.

Never.

Right.

So those habits that need to be contended with are a lot easier to contend with if it's in a package, you know, that's a little more.

You ain't whistling Dixie.

Yeah, you can forgive a lot more if you look like a Matt Damon or

Giddam's a good looking guy.

When we first met him, and like, like, when he was like, you know, I don't want to say thin, but

like he, like, any girls that see pictures of him back then, it's like, oh, he's better looking than I assumed he was.

He's still good.

He's not a a bad looking guy.

Yeah, he's still good.

He just needs to drop a few pounds.

And then let's say he does drop a few pounds.

Does that overcome or does that over,

you know, does that make you overlook then the idiosyncrasies?

Is that the right thing?

Idiosyncrasies, sure.

Of like, you know, I want to keep my cutlery right by my side at all times.

Or in my shower.

Or

I need to save every piece of cardboard that is sent to me.

And all the other wonderful things that I love about them that may not be so lovable if you're living with them.

Yeah.

The teeth.

Maybe the teeth is a big one.

If you want to meet somebody, you got to pop your teeth in.

Like, Michael Strahan did it, right?

Didn't Michael Strahan?

Great-looking guy, has a big gap.

He's got a gap, not missing teeth, and he's probably worth about $50 million.

Yeah, Ginnam's gap is four teeth worth.

It's all about the looks, apparently it seems.

It's all about the package.

It's not about what's inside.

Well, what's inside is kind of weird.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, all right, well, he's not good looking.

Let me get to know him.

But I think he is a good-looking guy.

I just think he's not putting his best foot forward.

Because he has gout.

Well, he's exactly.

He's got a bad role model, though, sitting right here, though.

He sees a man that people love his beard.

So again, I was like, I'm going to grow that beard, too.

I don't know if everybody could pull off that beard, though.

No, I don't know.

Unfortunately, his grows out.

And then it has this weird, like, like he slept on it or something.

He did.

Real shallow

by his chin, and then it pops out a little bit more.

He just needs a good, he needs a good barber to trim it for him.

Like, shape it.

Why can't he just keep it, but just like, like, shape it close to his face, though?

Like, cute.

Beautiful beard.

Right.

Like, why is he doing what he's doing?

yeah i don't yeah and i know why he's doing it i won't say why but it's an emotional thing it's an emotional thing he hasn't he hasn't cut it since that day

you know when the fire happened

well that's his raves are burned up all right so that is is there's some sort of there's some sort of method to him why he is growing it that way in his mind it makes perfect sense but it's a tribute almost

okay i understand that, I guess.

But

we're talking about him getting married and having kids.

You better fucking stop worrying about the tributes.

I mean, you need somebody like you to tell you these things.

And I think he does listen.

Your words are very,

they weigh heavily.

Dude, heavier.

Is that the right words?

Heavular?

I think it's heavier, but heavier, which carry some extra weight.

Yeah, they do.

He respects you so much.

Tried to give the guy a makeover at least twice, and he never bites on it.

I don't know.

As many times as you tried to bring him to Vegas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's got a lot to offer, a lucky lady.

I really believe that.

He's just.

He's an odd duck.

He's an odd duck, but there's nothing wrong with that.

Right, because isn't that what you want?

That's what I've been told for my whole life.

Like, the square peg in a round hole will always triumph at the end.

It will always

get

the girl.

Will always beat up the

bullies and the jerk-offs.

We'll always win at the end of the movie.

Right.

At the end of the movie.

The movie.

The movie that is life.

Yeah, but marriage is a long journey, is it not?

Like you need someone that could provide and protect you.

And I don't know if he's giving off those vibes at the moment.

Well, maybe he needs somebody that can provide and protect him, I think.

All right.

Well, that narrows down the sort of women that are interested in you a lot as well.

I think.

Now,

that could be a statement that could upset people, right?

That women need somebody that can provide and protect them.

Well, they're lazy women.

That's the statement that'll upset you.

Yeah.

I take that back, Q.

Yeah.

Your statement is now,

no one's even remembered it.

No, but like, even if, no, no, I'm saying, like, even if, all right, if you want to update that statement to be like, look, all right, so a career gal

wants at least someone that's like making the same amount of money, equal, an equal, yeah.

And then, if she's having kids and he wants a wife and a family and stuff like that, and then the idea is like, well, is Giddim going to raise those kids?

Because then he's a state, that's fine.

I think he could.

I think he would.

I think he would be a good dad.

I think he would be a very, very good dad.

Good stay-at-home dad.

Oh, he would, and the things that he could teach that boy.

My God,

any child of his would is going to have an unbelievable leg up in terms of like having to go to your father and get answers to everything.

Everything.

He's not even going to have to go to his dad.

He'll just.

His dad will go to him.

Guess what?

Watch this video.

Yeah, but happy birthday, Genem.

Happy birthday, Genem.

How old did you say it was?

43.

43.

43.

Wow.

Yeah.

And how old are you, Q?

44?

45.

45 now?

45.

I was 45 in March, yeah.

What are we going to do in five years when the

big five O comes?

Young Buck Q.

Yeah, I remember when he was a child.

Fuck, man.

Yeah,

I think that when I turn 50, I don't know.

I don't fear it.

Like, I'm looking forward to retiring one day.

And I think we're going to have the best retirement ever because we'll just do Tell him, Steve Dave, and just fucking

party.

Audacious.

Like, yeah, I don't really want to, like, I, like, right now, I, like, even now, like, work's coming, work's creeping back into where I'm working five days a week again, even if it's from home, which is cool.

I don't mind that, but it's just like the day is going to come, I think, mid-50s, I think, 10 more years maybe, where I'm like, I'm done working, man.

Like, I'm out.

Like, all I want to do is tell him Steve Dave and then just fucking party.

Party.

That's it.

I just want to party.

I just want to fucking relax and chill out and shit.

Now, your definition of a party,

is it like balls out out party or like or is it just more like, you know, chill, I just want to be able to like sip wine on a.

It's all of the above.

It's anything.

I want the spectrum, man.

I do want the spectrum.

Like you considered what we did the other day partying, right?

I think so, yeah.

I know I do.

Yeah, I would consider that partying.

We watch movies.

That's partying.

Okay.

So you've got a very loose definition of partying.

Because I'm thinking lampshades, holes in the wall, you know,

jumping curbs.

Yeah, I won't want to do those a year, yeah.

But I think for the most part, I'm ready for just like the, you know, I'm fine with middle-aged partying, like, it's all right, like, I'm okay with it, it's good stuff, man.

But you're beyond the kid partying where like somebody's throwing all your pool furniture into your pool and shit.

At my house, I'm over that.

But if I was at somebody else's house and it was that sort of party, I'd be like, this is cool, I can roll with this.

Cue someone shat in the pool.

Oh, fuck.

Do you want those kind of parties?

I would like to be at those parties.

Yeah.

Maybe even be the guy pissed shitting in the pool.

You know?

But yeah, so I think my 50s are going to be

a very welcome time, a great time of joy.

You don't dread it?

As long as I stay healthy.

I don't dread it.

That's good.

I already look fucking like I don't want to look, so it's only degrees of getting worse from here on out.

So it's like, I'm not like, oh, my looks.

Like I look at pictures that I took with my parents when we were in Memphis, and I uh, and I look at it.

I'm looking at pictures of myself.

I'm like, God, those fucking wrinkles are deep when you smile, son.

I'm like, look at them go.

I'm getting old.

This is happening.

Oh, did you do the Elvis thing?

Oh, it was awesome, Walt.

It was great.

I went, and my parents didn't know that I was coming.

So I knocked on my mom's door, and she flipped out.

It was fucking awesome, man.

It's on Instagram.

They got a room inside the mansion?

No, they built a hotel on the grounds.

Oh, right.

That's what you told her, right?

Okay, yeah.

That's what you told us last time.

So you can stay now on the grounds.

On the grounds.

And the hotel is really nice.

It was great.

But then we got like an after-hours tour.

And dude, it was crazy because we just went up.

Like, Graceline was closed.

Like, there was no one else there.

So the woman who took us on the tour just had the key for the front door.

And like any other house in the world, she just fucking opened the door, put in the key.

And I was like, that is weird, man.

Like, it's just like a house.

And then we just, her and my parents and and I just kind of walked around the house and, like, she just told the stories about everything.

It was cool.

Did it look any different from when you and I and Bry went?

Oh, so many years ago?

Exactly the same.

Nothing has been updated.

No news?

No, there has.

There are, like, now across the street, they have his car museum, which is fucking awesome.

They have an archive museum where they have like some of the TVs that he shot up and shit.

No, I think that was there when we were there.

Yeah, I believe so.

No, this, maybe that was there, but this complex was only built like 34 years ago.

Yeah.

And then, um, and then remember when we went to the racquetball court and had all those gold records?

Yeah.

So those are all out.

They're across the street now in a separate thing.

And they refurbished or returned the racquetball court back to how it was the night before he died.

And now when you walk in, like, you're really following his last steps and shit like that.

It's pretty, it's pretty crazy.

And then we were there at night because and so we were like walking around the grounds and it was dark and eerie and we went to his grave and like it was pitch black.

It was like kind of cool, man.

Who makes the money?

Who gets the money from that?

Does that go to the town, or does that go to Elvis' estate?

Lisa Marie owns the house.

So she gets all of that.

Well, Elvis Presley Enterprises gets it, but she's

some moneymaker, huh?

Yeah, I think so.

I think so.

It doesn't look like they're hurting for money.

But is there a time, though, when he's going to be too far removed from the current population where it's like he's almost like Buster Keaton?

Like,

he's like, oh, nobody knows who he is.

I don't think so.

No,

he'll never be that.

I think he'll always be Elvis.

His music is music, man.

I was going to say, his work is definitely more accessible than Buster Keaton movies anymore.

So you think that our children's children will appreciate and want to go see the Elvis Presley mansion?

I maintain.

I don't know the kids today.

Yeah, I maintain is that after we're gone, you know, none of us are around and none of our children are around and it's the children's children.

I don't know if there's going to be a need for a mansion.

I just don't see people appreciating that.

It's like appreciating, like I said, like

the Andrew sisters.

Yeah, but the Andrew Sisters were never, they were never

Elvis, right?

Yeah, it's like Elvis is rarefied air, man.

I don't think there's a lot of people that hit that in their life.

So who knows?

I mean, who since Elvis has done what he's done?

Well, I would say Michael Jackson

would have been there, could have been there if things had turned out differently.

What about his place?

Is that open?

Neverland?

Is that open for somebody bought it?

They didn't open up as a tourist attraction?

No, they ripped out everything.

Holy fuck.

Yeah.

All the playrooms.

All the playrooms, the train.

Property's gone.

Is that because they thought it would be in bad taste to do tours of that stuff?

I think that after the, what I understand is after the charges came out in that HBO film, they couldn't sell the place because people were like, fuck this.

And then some billionaire who was like, Well, I'll buy it, but I don't give a fuck about Michael Jackson.

I'll just turn it into a great house for myself.

I think that's what happened.

So he was like, Get rid of all that weird shit.

I don't care about it.

It's just my house.

It would have been priceless, though, right?

To have someone to sell some of that stuff instead of destroy it, like the Ferris wheel and shit.

Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

Um,

oh, fuck, I just, I totally lost the thought of this guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that that, um,

that you can

mostly you can sell houses where multiple murders have taken place in them, but you can't sell a house where a fucking well-known alleged child molester lived.

And a famous guy, too.

Well, they did sell it.

I mean, as you know, as is, though, you know, like you said, I thought you said he tore everything out.

Yeah, he did say that.

Yeah.

Did he tear out the whole interior?

Like, did he completely remodel it?

Oh, no.

I think just all the wacky shit that was just the ground stuff.

He just got rid of all that shit.

Shot all the animals.

Put them all down.

Yeah.

Bubbles.

Sorry, boy.

Bubbles might still be alive, right?

They run in the grounds at night.

I mean, they're like lobsters, I thought, right?

They live a long time.

I don't know.

I think they live like 50 years in captivity.

Let's check it out if Bubbles is still alive.

I'm going to say no.

Bubbles is not with us anymore.

What do you think, Q?

I don't think so.

Remember, Elvis had a monkey, too.

Scatters the monkey.

Really?

He had a monkey too?

Yeah, and then I think it just acted up one day, so Elvis was like, get rid of this fucking monkey.

That's it.

That's what a normal person would do.

I mean, not that you're normal getting a monkey anyway, though.

A normal person wouldn't buy a monkey and try to keep it as a friend.

No.

I mean, it sounds great, but it's just, I don't think so.

Sometimes I think I'm weird for thinking cats are my friends, let alone a fucking monkey.

So he's enjoying his retirement in the sunshine state.

Wow, he's still kicking.

Good for bubbles, man.

He's 185 pounds, four and a half feet tall.

He lives with a group of other chimpanzees that include his best friend Ripley, adult females Oopsie, Boma, Jessica, Jesse, and Kodua, and a juvenile striker.

Can you imagine if you could see some of the shit that Bubbles fucking witnessed?

Oh, no.

Poor Bubbles.

Haunted look in his eyes.

I think he saw some shit, right, Bubbles?

He saw some shit.

If chimps could talk.

Can I take back my dedication again?

If we dedicate this episode to Bubbles, I think so.

A better choice.

Kidd's got it easy compared to what Bubbles had to get in dwarf.

Bubbles has better facial hair.

Do we have any more ants?

No more ants.

I did want to see if you guys wanted to hit learn something, though.

It's been a while.

Ooh,

I don't know if we live in a world anymore where you can hit learn anything anymore.

I'm telling you, this will be okay.

To forget the past is to repeat it.

You got to hit learn stuff.

So when sisters Freddie and Truce Oversteigen were young, their mother made them sleep in the same bed.

This wasn't an act of forced sibling bonding.

Though the family had more than one mattress, all of them...

makeshift and stuff with straw, they shared their modest flat with Jewish refugees that they normally housed.

So this was, I I think, in Holland or something.

Is this a recent story here?

I mean, the story

took place a long time ago.

I just read it.

This is an article from February 6th, 2020 on mentalfloss.com.

And basically what these girls did, they were raised by their mother.

Their parents divorced.

Yeah, North Holland.

And

the mom taught the girls compassion for those less fortunate.

They made dolls.

The little girls made dolls for children affected by the Spanish Civil War.

They gave gave up their living space for people fleeing Germany and Amsterdam, blah, blah, blah.

So when the Nazis invaded,

the mom made sure that the refugees that they had been hosting were sent away, fearing they'd be discovered.

But what happened was there was this Dutch resistance group, right?

And they noticed how

supportive that the woman and her two girls were.

The girls were 14 and 16.

And

they were like, do you want to join this resistance group?

So, of course, they say yes.

So it says soon, the teenage girls were doing more than just handing out literature.

They were luring Nazis into the woods and assassinating them.

Wow.

So what they would do is, since they were real young, they would.

And the Germans had occupied this, whatever town they lived in Holland.

The girls would dress up, looking all cute and shit.

And they were like, if the one, the 14-year-old, slicked back her hair or whatever, they're like, she looked as young as 12.

So these Nazis were perves, too, I guess.

They were like, they're going out to the woods with these girls with the promises of

sexual rendezvous.

And so they would lure them out there, and then there would be guys waiting to ambush them and shoot them.

And then eventually the girls were like, We don't even need these guys.

We'll just shoot them ourselves.

Whoa,

that's something, huh?

How never made a movie about that?

They never got.

Not only did they not get caught, they're celebrated in this article.

Like, here they are.

But how many years later?

So we're talking, are they alive anymore?

Yeah, there they are.

You guys sent me the link to that, BJ.

Wow, yeah, I mean, they

look every bit of 90 years old, so it's hard to imagine they could entice anybody out into the woods.

But you know, again, it was a long time ago, so yeah.

I mean, they can entice me if they're like, I have my back pills with me, but

that's got to be that's got to be

a lot of mental baggage, though, when the war is over, like

oh, like wasting a bunch of Nazis and shit.

I mean, it's it's not a normal life,

that's for sure.

It says the only mission they refused to act in was a plot to kidnap the children of senior Nazi officer Arthur Seiss Inquart.

The idea that his kids could then be exchanged for imprisoned Dutch radicals.

Fearing the kids might be harmed in the process,

they declined that.

Wow.

They should make a movie about that, right?

They should, man.

That'd be crazy.

You can still fucking waste Nazis in the movies.

Yes.

I learned something.

Oh, yeah?

What's that?

So I'm doing a deep dive right now on Groucho Marx.

Like, I'm reading

his autobiography and, like,

just trying to learn because the guy's so fucking funny.

And apparently, when he went to Germany after the Second War, he went to the town that his family was from.

And he had found that his family's grave had all been ripped up.

All the Jewish graves had been desecrated.

So, he went to the, so when he was traveling through Germany, he learned that they were near where his bunker was, where he died.

So he had the tour do a route over to the Uber bunker, they called it, right?

Where Hitler died.

Where Hitler killed himself?

In Berlin.

Yeah.

And he goes there and he

writes in this article.

He's like, he climbed the rubble because the rubble was all still there, like all the bombed out blasted shit.

And he said he went up to the top of the rubble and danced to Charleston for two full minutes on the spot where Hitler died.

And I was like, wow, man.

I was like, that's fucking pretty cool.

Are you a Marx Brothers fan?

I mean, I've always liked them just because I like comedy, but I've never really gone as deep as I am now on them.

Yeah.

Yeah, I tried to do a deep dive last year or maybe a year and a half ago because, you know, people say like they're better than Abbott and Costello.

Like they were, they were really, really awesome.

But I tried to watch a couple of movies and I'm just like, yeah, I never was able to like.

You don't connect it to like I need, yeah, I need Abba Costello running from a Frankenstein or a Wolf.

I agree.

I don't disagree, but

like, he's a writer.

He was a prolific writer.

Gotcha.

Yeah, and that's what I'm reading now, like a bunch of his writings.

And it's like, the guy was a genius.

Were they really brothers?

Yeah, they were really brothers.

Their name was really Marks.

I saw some footage of him on that game show I used to do or that TV show he had where he was.

You bet your life.

Yeah, where you dealt with the public.

Yeah.

I mean, he does have a quick wit about him, you know, and it's kind of like,

I don't want to say risque, but like, you know, dancing that fine line of the 50s about like sexual innuendos.

It's kind of like, oh, he'll eye up a blonde on that show and just like make comments about her.

Yeah.

But he was funny.

He did an interview with Playboy in 76 that I read where he's like, he would just talk about like, well, he was 83 at the time and he was like, nah, he goes, I never, he's like, I don't have sex anymore.

I'm not interested in sex and shit like that.

But then he started telling all the stories of the whorehouses he visited over over the years.

And you're like, wow, this guy does not give a fuck.

It's like fucking crazy.

You're like, this guy just got laid in whorehouses all over the country.

It's nuts.

Yeah.

Fascinating guys.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, he, you know, Alice Cooper befriended him in the later stages of his life.

I read Alice Cooper.

He mentions that.

Yeah, that he

was a huge fan of him growing up as a kid.

And when he went to, when he moved to LA,

he just became buddies with him and would hang out with him to all hours of the evening, just watching TV while Groucho was lying in bed.

That was crazy.

Because he was so old and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, danced on Hitler's grave or death site, whatever, for two minutes.

Two straight minutes.

That's it, baby.

They never found Hitler's body, right?

Like it was never recovered?

Yeah, they had the charred remains, didn't they?

But they always speculate it really wasn't his remains, though.

Oh, they did have the charred remains.

Oh, all right.

They know where they are today?

I believe believe a different kind.

I think Russia took them.

Russia has Hitler's bones?

Well, they took the body.

They took the carcass.

What the fuck are they doing with it?

Maybe because he wasn't, maybe because they knew it really wasn't his carcass.

But they hated him.

Right, but they wanted, yeah, but they wanted to be, they still wanted

the glory of being like, we killed him.

Not America, not England.

We got him.

Well, not really.

I mean,

which which they don't have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Walt Flanagan, you're a hero.

I am.

I think you single-handedly got Amazon to change their policy.

On what?

Amazon changes employee policies for time off and marijuana.

That part I don't think you had anything to do with.

It says they're revising a controversial workplace policy critics say has been used to keep employees working at a breakneck pace.

Have I ever weighed in on this?

Oh, yeah, you were talking about

being a douchebag and Hitler and all that other shit.

He heard it, huh?

He must have.

Bezos got wind of it, and he was like, I better change this.

He's like, what did he say?

Yeah, it says

the time-off test contributes to a stressful work environment that treats workers as cogs in the machine rather than people.

So they have acknowledged this and

they're going to work on it.

And they also have decided to look at marijuana the same as they look at

alcohol.

Why, so they do drug testing in Amazon?

Like if you can't,

they'll test you to see if you have pot in your system?

Pre-employment drug tests.

But once you're employed, though, they don't do the tests.

They don't do the tests anymore, according to this article.

Well,

if you know you're going for your

filling out your application, you just can't stop smoking for a couple weeks and make sure it's out of your system.

Like a month.

Well, I guess now you don't have to.

Now you don't have to, huh?

Yeah, they just made it easier.

Made it easier to smoke weed, Walt.

That's what we need.

That's what's been missing.

That's what's been missing of the ease and access to drugs.

Oh, yeah, because it's not easy and there's not enough access as there is.

Yeah, we agree on it.

I'm just checking out the history of Hitler's body since the fucking war, man.

It's pretty crazy.

They took him

back to

May 11th.

All right, so they brought his body.

The Russians brought him back.

They had the dentists

do an autopsy, and the dentists confirmed that the bodies were, in fact, those of Adolf Hitler and Ava Braun.

Russian dentists.

Russian dentists.

Well, they had X-rays.

No, they.

What do you mean?

But wouldn't you need x-rays?

Or how would the dental records?

Oh, I don't know.

How would they have access to Hitler's dental records?

Well, they won the war.

I guess you could take whatever you wanted from Germany and that's what I was doing.

That's true.

We've got to get Hitler's dentist.

Where is he?

Over the course of the years, his remains changed locations three times.

In 1945, they took Hitler's corpse to a forest near Rathenu, a German town.

They buried it there, but dug it up eight months later.

Then they went to Nadelberg.

You got to figure out why.

Why did they bury it up eight months later?

I don't know, but they said then they reburied him with Joseph Goebbels' body

and Eva Brunn, and they remained there for 25 years.

Then in 1970, the Kremlin ordered the Soviet outpost at Madenberg closed and a land returned to the East German government.

However, the Soviets didn't want to turn over the land with Hitler still buried within it.

They worried if discovered, neo-Nazis and others might turn it into a shrine.

So they dug them up again.

And Yuri Antropov, head of the KGB, ordered agents to get rid of Hitler's remains and ensure they would never be found.

So they were chosen as a secret spot.

But they never did any kind of like testing on it.

Once science and technology would have been able to, without a doubt, confirm

if it was his remains, they never allowed it to

take place.

Well, three other

KGB agents disinterred his remains, carried them to nearby mountains while disguised as fishermen.

Upon arriving at a stream, they lit a fire, tossed Hitler's already burned remains upon it, and burned all that was left once more.

Then they scooped the ashes into a bag and spread them with the wind.

However, they still believe they have a few pieces of his body

where they found the skull.

The Russian state archives have announced that they have found pieces of Hitler's skull back in 1993.

Wow.

According to a movie I once saw, they saved his brain.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.