#405: Jurassic Dorks

I think you would be a good neighbor too.

I think I'm a good neighbor as well, so I think we would be the ultimate neighbors.

I'm a guest.

About Sauropods, and he brought up Ultra Source, which is, I admit, is a dinosaur I've never even heard of.

No way.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave with me and Q and Walt and special guest.

Everybody loves him.

No, I do.

I do.

I love him.

This is the way get him.

How long have you been on the show?

A while now.

Since, what, episode nine of

Overkill?

Come on, man.

How long have you been?

Why can't he just tell me how long he's been on?

I don't know what year it was.

He has

been overkill.

Like, that gives you any indication.

I would say six years.

You'll give me a star map.

Six years.

Six years.

The vast majority of the run.

More, yeah, more than more with him than not with him.

I mean, you make it hard for me to compliment you because I just wanted to say how much I love you, but

now you're agreeing with everybody.

I'm like, he's

polarizing, though.

I don't know.

I think it's the know-it-all bravado.

It's part of the charm, isn't it?

It is the charm.

What most people would see as a personality flaw, we consider an asset.

Well, we make it an asset.

Believe me.

If we weren't doing a podcast, we would have fucking be wanted to be anything new to do to.

We're not working.

There's no way you'd work there.

Get him.

Let me ask you something.

If I paid for your flight in a hotel, would you come hang out in Vegas with me?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

All right, well, we'll give me the time off.

We're going to do that.

I'm going to take him to Vegas.

Why do you need him in Vegas for?

I don't need him in Vegas.

Just to hang out with him.

I want to get some FaceTime with them.

Well, I think it would be interesting to see.

And Brian owes me a trip to Vegas.

Why not pay for Getam's will?

I do not see that working out, though,

how you think it would work out.

Like, it'd be the super fun experience.

I don't see him being a better.

I don't see him doing anything that you would consider

natural boys' fun.

Oh, man.

What's that mean?

Like, you know, boys' night out fun.

Like the boys' night out, like a boys'.

It's like hanging out with you.

And we know he doesn't like that.

We know he doesn't have any, he doesn't care to do that at all because when we've been out on the road together, he basically ignores me.

So I think you get kind of the same experience, except he drinks

like a fish.

Well, here's the thing.

I mean, look, I've been to Vegas in the past three years.

I mean, it has to be 15 times.

I have not gone to a strip club.

I have not done any of the things that you're talking about in the times that I've gone.

I think the only struggle that get him is he'd be like, Let's go to Chili's to eat or like hard rock.

And I'd be like, We just please go someplace not to see it.

I think other than that, like, even if, because when Brian and I go places, like, we, I mean,

mostly we just go to cities to stay in a hotel room and watch TV.

Yeah, we watch it, we watch an inordinate amount of television now for two guys who could be going out and doing anything.

Anything.

Do they have HBO in the hotels?

Well, you bring your Apple TV, you hook it up, you're all set, bud.

I gotta say, though,

just as much as like when, you know, decades past when we would go to a con or something and we go around drinking and carousing.

Yeah.

I find this just as entertaining and fun now.

Dude, I cannot remember the most I've laughed in a long time.

And I'm on TVs and practical jokes.

Is watching Pet Cemetery with you.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die.

It was so fucking funny watching him trip and fall all over the place.

If you can

schedule this trip for a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, have him back by Wednesday.

He is all yours.

I could do that.

Okay.

I could do that.

He's all yours.

So he could leave Saturday night.

No, no, Sunday morning.

He could leave Sunday morning.

I don't care if Jeff doesn't have him

for Sunday.

Should we check with Jeff?

I don't think Jeff cares either.

Well, the time works for us because it's three hours.

So if he leaves here at noon, he's there by like 2 p.m.

Yeah.

That's the whole day in Vegas.

Right.

Sunday, Monday, he comes home Tuesday.

What's on the docket?

No, I was supposed to go for my 21st birthday.

My mom and her partner were supposed to take me out for my 21st birthday, but that never materialized.

I took him to Atlantic City.

You should have seen the boyish

mouth-agape look on his face as we were driving through Atlantic City one day.

Really?

Well, when you...

All right, back at local.

Am I exaggerating?

I was taking photos of the table.

His mouth was

on the floorboard of the van as we were driving around, and he just could not keep

the excitement off of his face.

I was supposed to be giving him directions as to where we're going, and I'm just looking in every other direction.

I don't know how you're like, when I took him to Atlantic City,

you drove to Atlantic City, and then we're like, unload those boxes.

And when you're done with that, we're going back to here.

We're going back to Red Bank.

I think the only pit stop we made was a Sabaro.

Yeah.

We stopped at a Sabbaros.

I paid

for a Sabbaro, yeah.

You paid for it or did the company?

Does it make a difference?

He didn't have to pay.

Yeah, that matters.

Will it bother you if I'm in first class and you're in steerage?

No.

Okay, great.

No problem.

I have to get him first class.

All right.

I can't bother with Steve.

I have no problem with planes.

I like them.

And for your own sanity, you would have to get your own room.

No, no, no.

Yeah, of course.

Come on.

That's the whole excitement, though.

That's the whole adventure.

Share a room.

What if you get the room with the adjoining doors?

That'll do.

Why can't he just stay in the room with you?

Because he's going to sleep.

We shared a room room many nights together on the road to California, I remember in 2000.

It wasn't a problem then.

Yeah, that's a problem.

Why is it a problem?

Because I'm old.

43.

Time and money will do it.

What does it have to do with anything, though?

I don't have patience.

My patience is down to nothing.

Really?

But even like he and I, like...

It's weird because I will stay.

Well, we'll hang out, watch TV in your room until one or two in the morning, and then I'm back at like eight.

Let's feel like we're going to breakfast or whatever.

But you do want that

little separation for yourself.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to take a shower.

You don't have to, you know, we used to shower together.

It's kind of cold, but I guess it's not cold.

It's a little cold, you know.

It's a little cold that you're like, I'm going to take you to Vegas.

Thank you for a room.

Not in the way that somebody's taking you to Atlantic City.

Not one box will be unloaded by you.

Would you be okay with pulling his luggage for him?

Yeah.

All right.

I'll take you to like,

we'll get there, we'll go shopping.

First, my fair lady, kind of.

Yeah, or I'm thinking more rain man.

B and Q coming up the street.

I don't know which one's rainman, though.

Oh, hint to Tim.

Well, I don't know, man.

This is your idea.

This guy's kind of rain man-ish to me.

You think it's going to be a good time?

Have you had all your vaccinations?

Okay.

All right.

I'll get some dates to you.

Okay.

Yeah, I am curious, though.

Like, get them in your mind.

Night night in Vegas with Q,

what do you guys do?

Oh, this would be great.

You plan a night, and I plan a night.

Oh, wow.

I was going to say, that's too much pressure on him.

No, but he couldn't.

He doesn't deal well with he's in charge of something.

He could say hotel bar and we hang on the hotel bar.

I won't complain about nothing until we get back here on the air.

Yeah, that's the key.

Go down there, recreate some conspiracy theories out in the desert.

Like, are you wanting to see someone swinging from the chandeliers?

Are you looking for that kind of experience with Q?

Because I think most people would expect something along that level.

They're not looking for pet cemetery.

Then they should have been here 20 years ago.

There are no chandeliers left.

There's some great many chandeliers in his day.

I think I'm expecting, like, like, I've seen an episode of Cops in Las Vegas.

Yeah.

So you got, like, that little guy who was climbing up the telephone poles.

We'll do an escape room together.

Think of shit like that.

Like, we'll record us.

Could you imagine me and him in an escape room trying to fucking get out?

No.

I think that you can.

Can you think of a better impetus to make you want to get out of the room instead of alligating the door down?

And whenever, Q, whenever you see someone who's like, oh, Q, could I get a picture?

You're like, only if my friend's in it.

And I'll only sign shit if he signs it.

If he signs it, yeah.

Well, the good thing about Vegas is you're not allowed to take pictures in casinos.

Oh, no?

No.

I don't know.

Is that how they get away with getting celebrities there?

Yeah.

That's one of the allures for a celebrity.

Yeah, it's more about cheating and stuff like that, but that is one of the allures.

Okay.

That is how celebrities are uncomfortable.

Would you be willing to count cards for Q?

I don't think I could count cards.

Don't what?

You're counting them on fucking card sharks every day?

No, I'm not.

You're telling them.

Card sharks.

Every day.

From

four to five.

I had trouble.

It seems like he's counting cards.

I had trouble figuring out why the lady lost because she pulled another four today.

That's true.

I think you earned it.

I think after your years of service, it's telling us, Dave, you deserve a little vacation.

Okay.

So we're going to do it.

I agree.

Yeah.

You'll come?

Will me?

Oh, absolutely.

That would definitely go.

He's got to record it, yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, someone's got it.

We got a lot of Patreon content to get out of it.

Cool.

I'm excited about that.

I think Match Game is giving me a urge.

I can't watch it anymore.

It's.

You're familiar with Match Game?

Well, you've explained it.

Okay.

She has to explain the concept of Match Game.

Brett Summers.

I've never seen that.

I never thought I would have such.

No.

I never thought I would have such vitriol for Brett Summers.

She's the most annoying celebrity on the show.

She was Klugman's wife.

Now she doesn't even have that because it's Match Game 78 and they're already divorced.

And it's been mentioned.

Ooh, I didn't even realize I ever got divorced.

I thought they made it.

There's a couple that made it through the

Hollywood.

I can see why.

The Hollywood ringer is so consumed with her charm and personality.

She literally never just gives an answer.

Never.

There's a whole preamble.

She talks about shit.

And whatever she says doesn't make sense.

And then she goes on to give a crappy answer.

Today, I was like, I can't watch the show anymore.

There's like this new lady comes on, and the old lady, who's dumb as a fucking post, the $5,000 level,

she's with Richard, and it's blank goal.

Now, anyone, even if you're not into sports, field is going to say field goal.

This lady says first goal.

It's like that's not even a thing.

Yeah, but you know, you can even say first of all, the pressure, though.

You know, the pressure, the nervousness, a lot of things could play into why you give a bad answer.

I suppose.

Okay.

I do like that the audience, when someone gives a bad answer, like in the initial rounds, will just outripe just boom.

I think that's kind of funny, yeah.

The original trolls.

So there's this lady who says field, doesn't say field goal.

Now she's against another lady, right?

And

the lady who just came on gets five in a row.

Then this next lady, the field goal lady,

says something so incredibly dumb, yet they allow her to match.

With stuff that it's like first it's like eh, and then the crowd booze and it goes ding he just gives it to her because the crowd doesn't like it.

And then Patty, what's her name?

Patty Deutsch, Patty Deutsch.

She's retarded.

She's fundamentally

retarded.

She gives the stupidest fucking answers.

They're like, Vito

gave his girlfriend a necklace around her neck.

But

if he doesn't like you, he'll give you this around your neck.

And she says, like, an order of

clam.

What's a clam something around?

Clam casino?

Clam casino to go.

What?

I'm like, what?

Not every job.

I could have a home run, though, after every answer.

But you know, she's not going to say that.

The object is to match the answer with.

No, the object is also to entertain, though.

Okay, when does that start?

Because Pete Boyd fucking has no ability to entertain.

Wait, wait, what is this show?

I was just saying, Q, have we just redefined

the concept of first world problems?

Have we just now brought it to another level of

75, 75?

I wasn't even alive when they said that.

But there's this thing where it's like, I can't remember, it was like old man Periwinkle.

You know, he gets up in the morning.

He's like, I used to be able to

get up, whatever.

He's like, now I can hardly get up.

And the lady says me, which I'm like, okay.

Well,

that's

an okay answer.

I would say like blood pressure or something, but she said me.

Now, one person said me, Brett Summers, everyone else was like,

in the morning.

Hattie Deutsch goes, in the morning, late, afternoon, or night.

I'm like, that's three fucking answers.

That's three answers.

How is someone still alive?

No.

I don't think anybody's still alive, except a very few.

Gary Bergoff, fucking idiot, Radar O'Reilly, fucking can't stand that dispute.

Well, see,

people said, people.

The people on the set said they couldn't stand him.

And I never understood it until I watched Match Game.

He's

the worst.

I think.

it's terrible.

I think I floated the idea last night that I think he's undiagnosed Autistic.

And he's trying.

Everybody is.

Everything.

What did you float?

On Reddit.

On the MASH subreddit.

I said, I think he just.

Wait, what?

There's a MASH subreddit for about the show.

Is it just as fucking shitty as the TSD one?

No, it's a lot nicer than that.

It's a lot nicer.

I didn't know it existed.

I'm going to go on and go for Gary Berger.

But I said, I think he tries to emulate the banter between her and Charles Nelson Riley and just doesn't know when to stop.

And it's just, it's, he is

awesome responses on the MASH Reddit boards.

Do people buy your theory?

Not many people.

No, nobody really comes to me.

Did you start your sentence with as an autistic man, I feel?

I'm not sure.

No.

But I said that I didn't believe it.

Because someone brought up they watched Match Game and he's a real jerk on Match Game.

And I was like, you know what?

I was just about to say that because I watch it every day on Buzzer.

This is what you could do in Vegas, Q.

You can go on the match subreddits in your room.

I mean, weed is Leo in Vegas, so I might have to start a new habit if it definitely helps.

But that answer, that

morning, noon, or night that Patty Deutsch gave, it won.

It won the game for that lady, and it never should have because none of the answers matched, except if you're going to say me or myself, I get it.

You can't give a time of day and be like, okay, I guess that's good enough.

I mean, I guess you can because they did it.

Yeah.

But

it's unbelievably

unfair.

You wouldn't be able to get away with that.

No way.

They would not.

I think it falls under entertainment, though, so I think they can get away with that.

There's money.

It's worth it.

I think that quiz show scandal.

That guy just died recently.

Within the past week.

Yeah.

Would that change.

Hey, fucking dude, I've worked on game shows now.

It is regulation.

Regulation.

I'll give a Patty Deutsch level answer.

Because they will say

at the end of the thing, like when they're rolling the credits, like, you know, one portion of the game had to be reshot and re-answered.

You know,

it was not, you know, they have to be very open about it.

And people would, you know, we live in a litigious society now, too, so like people would just sue.

I would sue.

I would definitely sue.

If I was on that game show and they're like,

aren't we fucking funny?

And they give these stupid answers, I'm like, but now I lost because of it.

Like, now I lost.

Like, that lady was on and off so fast because of those fucking dumb answers.

It really, like.

Dude, I'm sorry.

And that's the thing I like it.

I like Gene a lot, and I like Charles Nelson Riley.

At this point, though, if this is what's

causing you

anxiety and everything, I mean, there might not be nothing left for you to watch or I don't look at the news at all anymore.

I don't know what's going on.

But if Match Game's doing this, I mean,

there's a bubble that

you need to just go into and maybe.

He'd be angry at the bubble.

Have you watched the new one with Baldwin?

No, no, no.

It just can't be as fun because they're not saying the same things.

It's a little bit more bawdy.

You think that Edgar got all this anger out on you?

Like, that's like

in the exorcist when Karis is like, take me, and he's holding on to Reagan McNeil, and like the devil goes into him.

Yeah, has the son become the father?

No, because

you treat Saints like gold.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a good thing.

But as far as though, like, the temperament, though, I think, I think it's the same level of, like, shit man shakes fucking fist at anything.

I mean, if I'm going to be 100% honest, I'm probably worse.

In terms of violence, like

getting mad at stuff in the house.

That kind of like...

A completely fire

hair trigger and inappropriate response to something that doesn't deserve.

Why won't you go to therapy?

I called, and it's like three months down the road.

Okay, good.

That's good.

Three months down the road.

And because

there's so few places.

Selfishly,

I love you

ranting and raving at 50-year-old TV shows, but I really want to see you happy.

Yeah.

I'm not unhappy.

I'm just like,

I'm against you.

He needs to find something.

You're addicted to anger.

Maybe.

Oh, there's no doubt.

You're addicted to anger.

You're addicted to outrage.

At least it's free.

Well, not even the outrage.

I don't even listen to my shows anymore.

I can't even listen to Jim and Sam in the morning because it's

politics.

It's all they want to talk about is who got mad at Trump for this and who got mad about that.

And now who's fucking.

I'm just like, I don't want to hear it anymore.

I just don't want to hear it.

It's not entertaining.

But you're finding something to be outraged about.

So you're looking, and you're finding it in the weirdest places, though.

But it's there.

Because you're no, it's there.

That is

fair.

That's only in your head.

It's a trajectory of that.

No, no,

he went on the Match Game subreddit and he found some people who agreed with him.

I hadn't even considered that, but I'm going to look onto Match Game and see if people have the same issues I do.

I was looking, I texted Q the other day.

I was looking on a real estate site, and it turns out there's a house pre-foreclosure

that's within affordability,

but it's awfully close to somebody I know.

Awfully close.

Like, next-door neighbor close.

To Q?

No.

No.

And not to get them.

Really?

Next-door neighbor?

Yeah, if you're looking at your place, it's to the left.

Yeah, like if you're looking at, yeah, not your buddy next door, which that's going to end real soon.

Not at your real friend.

Their house is for sale?

It's not for sale yet.

It's in pre-foreclosure, which means it may or may not.

Oh, they just got that bill because their house was literally,

I mean, wiped away by the storm.

There was nothing, like, there was nothing left.

Yeah, something must have gone south.

Wow.

Because you got all that insurance money.

You'd think that it was all paid for then.

You'd think.

Wow.

I don't know.

Maybe it's calculated.

Maybe I'll float them alone so you can't move in later.

I'll just pay your mortgage.

Why?

No reason.

But I was wondering, I was going to make a list, and and then eventually I was like, you know what?

I'll bet you it would be anything if, say, I'm moving

and I got the music up too loud.

And Deb's like, well, could you ask Brian to turn the music down?

And then I'm like, I think Walt would probably do that.

And of course I would.

But I'm like, where does it stop?

Where you're like, well, can you get Brian to stop doing this?

And I'm like, I don't think it would stop anywhere.

I think no matter what it was, you'd be like, Brian, can you stop doing this?

He's nude sunbathing again.

Here's where I live.

Here's where I live next to.

Next to.

And you know you can give me shit, and I won't really care that much.

So is there anything that you would draw the line?

I mean, I don't see you really being

an outdoorsy guy to even being seen outside.

I mean,

I don't really, I think we would still see each other on the same

level, maybe a couple times, maybe during the week, but for the most part, I bet you we would still, it literally wouldn't change anything now.

Would it be annoying if I was having all sorts of barbecues, but never like, well, not at all.

Not at all.

Would you know I was doing it for you?

Not at all.

I never wouldn't want to go.

Would you model his lawn decorations?

That would be a big issue.

Oh, yeah.

Have all kinds of people peeing.

It's like a rainbow coalition of little kids pissing all over the yard.

Oh, man.

I think that'd be fun because I'm a very good neighbor.

I think you would be a good neighbor, too.

I think I'm a good neighbor as well.

So I think we would be the ultimate neighbors.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine?

Like, people on either side of us are like, it's the best neighborhood in the world.

Would you seen these neighbors on him?

Would you ever call the cops on him?

No, on me?

Why would I call the cops?

I'm just saying, like, there's screaming coming from the

bloody murder screaming.

Do you call the cops or do you just text them?

Close your window.

Or do you have a kitty kitty Genevieve's just didn't hear anything?

Well, see, I hear it from his house.

I just walk over.

I'm like, are we barriers?

Let me hang out from here.

Yep, I'm ready.

Probably you would have to come over, right?

I would probably call the cops if no answer, and I could still hear the screaming.

Was it Bry screaming?

I didn't see that.

Screaming like a girl.

I mean, screaming like a kid.

So woke.

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Back to the show.

So I was telling you guys earlier, man, today we had a visitor in the store.

We didn't know it.

Unbeknownst to us, we had no idea that we had a

real live what would you call this person with cred credentials and a scientist right yeah like had he said he had bona fides so and me and get him were in a very heated discussion I wouldn't say argument no no but we were we were having a heated discussion and this is one of the things that you sometimes you forget with other people in the store but I was telling him why I don't think that you know there's a lot of weird theories out there about dinosaurs and then the guy walked up to the counter and he said he was a paleontologist yeah paleontologist.

All right, cool.

Sir.

What's the best dinosaur?

Slash scariest.

No, but I threw out some of my theories as why I think that dinosaurs are bullshit.

Some dinosaurs are bullshit.

What does that mean?

Some dinosaurs could not have existed.

The way they shove it down our throats.

I see.

Pranosaurus.

Pranosaurus.

Pranosaurus, you're saying that.

They have the bones.

But they don't have a complete carcass, though.

They don't have a complete set of bones.

And there's no way you could tell me that one of those fucking necks could ever reach this, could put his neck up and eat.

There's no horn alive.

Oh, you're saying pumping blood?

Pumping blood up to that skull.

And I started telling this.

And what happened to that paleontologist?

I shut that motherfucker down.

In what way, though?

I don't disagree with what you're saying.

He's coming up.

No, we didn't.

The paleontologist's coming up with.

I don't want to toot my own horn.

Go ahead.

Tell him how I fucking knocked his hat.

I knocked him out.

You toot it for me.

I'll monitor, make sure you say all the right things.

But I'm talking about the Bronosaurus and how it can't possibly exist.

Yeah.

And the Stegosaurus, no one knows how it could have ever

copulated without disemboweling itself or castrating itself.

And he shambles up to the counter with his fucking Garmani suit on.

He's like, oh,

I happen to be a paleontologist.

In case you're wondering, Garmani is an upscale store in town, not a brand that you can go buy.

What?

Was that how you say it?

No, it is, but it's only this one.

I think you're saying Armani wrong.

Oh, it's not.

Yeah, all right, well, I met Armani.

You know how paleontologists do?

Oh, God.

How was he dressed?

He was like, He was dressed to the nines with the shit.

And he shambles up there like he's going to school me.

He's going to, like, he's going to.

He overheard what you guys were saying.

He was obviously overheard us, and he comes up and he's like, I can't help but hear you talking about dinosaurs.

And I happen to be a paleontologist.

And I was like, oh, really?

You're not set.

I could tell from your fancy suit

and all your fucking school rings that you're still wearing.

He's got 10

college rings.

He's just got to fucking tap him on the counter while he's talking.

Oh, I noticed you're not wearing fucking five rings.

I don't need a fucking ring.

He's got those knuckle rings that just said Yale across the circle.

So this is already a far cry from the waltz who said the custom is always right.

And a bolo time made out of a dinosaur egg.

Okay, all right.

So he hears our conversation and he starts to say, well,

you realize that the Bronosaurus, he didn't call it Bronosaurus.

He said something else.

No, did he like the Latin name or something?

We were talking about sauropods, and he brought up Ultrasaurus, which is, I admit, is a dinosaur I've never even heard of.

No way.

But I said, well, I want to talk about the Pranosaurus, fucking doc.

A lot of horns get him too.

He's going to run out of breath.

No wonder he's always wheezing into the phone.

I don't know if I'm being rewarded or punished for past life.

I don't know which one it is.

So this big shot.

So he comes up and he interjects in our conversation.

So I'm like, all right, you're fair game, motherfucker.

You're a fair game to get fucking sliced and diced then because I want to I throw these couple things at him and he goes, Well, um, you do know, uh, God, uh,

right?

Was he stammering?

Yeah, he was like, uh,

you know, that uh, the that some of these dinosaurs had two hearts, right?

And I was like, Oh, all of a sudden, now they got fucking multiple hearts.

And when did that be?

When did that start?

When did that shit start?

When they were born?

Okay, so it ended 65 million years ago.

When did the creep, so did, so are there no creatures left now with multiple hearts

in present time?

And he goes, well, we know earthworms do.

Do they?

And I was just like, what?

That's like earthworms have multiple hearts.

Where?

I mean, they barely have a body.

What, are they all heart?

Like Tom Brady?

I didn't say that, but I should have said that.

That would have been a Google Arthur.

I'm going to shut him down even more.

Are you telling me that earthworms are the goat of bugs?

Oh, my God.

I think they just throw this shit out there, though.

They're just like, well, okay, they're getting us on that they couldn't have raised their heads because there's no physical ice.

Oh, you know what?

We'll just tell them they have multiple hearts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got no proof, but they have multiple hearts.

Did you Wikipedia this shit?

I did, and I found that earthworms have what are known as pseudo hearts.

They're bands of muscles that are around

the veins and the arteries that help them pump blood artificials.

Right, I meant the dinosaur part of it.

Did you go, did you Wikipedia brontosaurus?

Well, that's what they said, that they may have had pseudo-hearts that helped them

that helped them get the blood up to

their brains.

So, what he did was

mention something that has a precedent in nature that addresses the concern that they have.

But it's not a second heart.

It's not like, you know,

it doesn't need to be a second heart.

It just needs to be exactly what it does.

Pseudo-heart.

That's just a name to make fucking dum-dums on the stand.

It's not called a pseudo-heart.

I'm sure it's called a

something, something.

Then why is this so-called paleontologist calling it aortic arch?

A double heart, yeah, a second heart.

Because he's talking down to you to make you understand what's going on.

Yeah, he's dumbing it down for you.

All the guy wanted to do was buy a fucking Batman comic.

That's all he wanted to do.

That's all he wanted to do.

He just should have fucking kept his trap shut.

Not being like, you're right.

I can't help but

conversation.

And then we googled his name, and of course, it didn't come up anywhere.

It's working, it's just you keep spiking, so it's not, it's louder than you think it is.

Okay, all right.

Yeah, it'll be a it'll be fine.

But what about branosaurus bones?

But where are all these hearts fitting?

I mean,

it's a fucking dinosaur, brother.

But how big?

How big are these hearts, though?

Now, all of a sudden, there's multiple heart theories.

Is it sudden?

And how much, and then Walt schooled them again.

He goes, How did they find all this food to eat?

Would they just eat all day long and do nothing else?

Is that all they were doing then?

How could this creature of this size

consume enough food daily to live?

And it can't lift up its head, mind you.

But the earth didn't look the same back then.

It was nothing but vegetation.

Why couldn't it lift up its head?

Because

it wouldn't have enough, it would knock itself out as soon as it it lifted its head.

Oh,

that's not a fact, that's a theory.

Based upon

what you think.

Based upon real-world situations, not fuck a prehistoric world where everything was radioactive, so everything was 50 million times bigger than it really was.

Okay, I love this.

I agree with you so far.

An aptosaurus?

Apatosaurus?

I think it's a batosaurus.

Apatosaurus?

Apatosaurus.

What, that's the brontosaurus?

Hagfish has four four hearts.

There's some creatures that do have multiple hearts.

An octopus has a multiple hearts.

Cephalopods have three hearts.

But these are all invertebrates, though.

Right.

What happened to the...

Why are there no vertebrates with hearts living on the planet today?

Oh, I don't know.

Evolution?

It's your answer for everything.

But look at his neck bones.

They're so big.

Of course he can.

Those aren't real, bro.

They find one or two bones and they make up the bones.

And then they make up the rest.

They've never found a complete skeleton of this shit.

I'm the crazy one here, just with Match Game.

I'm the crazy one.

No, no, no.

No, no, I just don't.

I admit I weighed in too early.

I admit

that this sounds crazy, but it's only crazy because we believe everything science tells us without ever questioning it.

It just pisses me off.

Nobody ever goes like, well, are we sure they're fucking right?

This is true.

Are you not dismissing all dinosaurs, just some?

I'm not dismissing there may have been creatures that went extinct.

Well, but I don't know if there was a pterodactyl.

But you said there's proof for some dinosaurs because of paintings.

Oh, that's right.

We also found an ancient.

Check this out.

Did you ever hear this?

So they have a complete T-Rex set.

A complete.

Yes.

There's never been a small T Rex is small.

No, no, no.

There's never been one complete, 100% complete dinosaur.

You're probably right.

90%, they're saying.

But hold on, John.

Holy shit.

There's ancient art

out there that has

long before that anybody ever saw a dinosaur, ever the concept of a dinosaur, because that's only around the 1800s.

And there are

paintings,

cave paintings with dinosaurs.

That's an ad.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

There is a Stegosaurus on some sort of like Mayan.

Mayan.

Okay.

Yep.

So I believe.

But you don't know when that was made, right?

It was well, long, long, long thousands and thousands of years ago before anybody ever heard of the word dinosaur or, you know, people were talking about dragons.

Jurassic Park is.

Was there a chance, though, that man and dinosaurs walked together?

6,000 years ago?

I don't think so.

You know, science would want to suppress that shit.

But why would they want to suppress that shit?

What is it?

It shatters it.

Again, you got to remember what they wanted to suppress.

God.

But

you're saying science is based on.

Well, dinosaur science.

Dinosaur science is based on refuting God.

They're like, if we make up these creatures and say they never.

Then your Bible is just a nice little story to tell yourself.

But if man and dinosaur

walk together.

Just so I have this clear.

So there is evidence of dinosaurs existing.

Actual evidence.

Yes.

There is zero evidence that the Bible is real and that God exists.

There's a Shroudaturin.

But where?

And who made that?

Why the fuck am I supposed to believe that's real?

So why?

So somehow the trick is to not believe the evidence, but instead to dismiss that in favor of someone.

No, I think dinosaurs existed.

Okay.

I do think they existed.

But I also believe that not every dinosaur that they throw it down the pike.

I think they've made some fucking mistakes, some boo-boos, and now they're trying to fucking be like,

They threw too many out.

They threw too many dinosaurs out there now, and they couldn't possibly have existed.

Okay.

I also think that we're going to find evidence.

Is this an overkill?

Are we doing an overkill tonight?

Okay.

This is just all the shit I told this dude.

It feels like

I have that overkill feeling.

And I said, you know, that I believe that at one point, sooner or later, we will find evidence of man

being around when dinosaurs were around.

Some dinosaurs.

And then that will fucking throw all of this shit into

a tizzy.

Because the science community scrambles to try to be like, well, oh, oh, oh, oh, well, God still didn't exist because of this.

There's evidence of human bones being found hundreds of thousands of years earlier than scientists say that they've been found.

All the time that happened.

Where?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Different parts of the world.

No, I'm not.

I'm literally.

I'm learning.

Do you believe it?

No, I do believe it.

I just want to know where.

Probably in some Mayan

city or, you know, when they were digging.

Or quarry, probably.

Yeah.

Okay, here's 11 living creatures that coexisted with dinosaurs.

We'll see if humans are on the list.

Of course they're not.

Okay.

Because if they are, then all of a sudden we've got to rethink everything that they're telling us about

about God and science then.

Well, this is Alex Jones' website, so let's see.

Crocodiles, snakes, bees, sharks, horseshoe crabs, sea stars, lobsters, duck-billed platypus, green sea turtle, cockroach, and a tuatara.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry, work.

I apologize.

Yeah,

crocodiles, snakes.

That I knew.

Snakes I knew.

Bees.

Bees.

Beads?

Bees?

Horseshoe crabs.

Bees in their current form were alive back then?

Buzzing bees were alive and stinging even when the dinosaurs were roaming the earth.

Oh, that's cool.

Okay.

Sharks, horseshoe crabs.

They look pretty.

Horseshoe crabs.

I mean, fucking Staten Island growing up, because I grew up right near the beach.

Yeah.

And there's horseshoe cribs all the fucking time.

They look just like dinosaurs.

Yeah, they look like little dinosaurs.

They look like something that's been around for that time.

Laying eggs and shit.

Yeah.

And in mating season, you go to the beach and there's just so many of them.

It's creepy.

And you hear them click-clacking at night.

Yeah.

Those long tails.

Yeah.

Your blood's worth a lot of money.

What?

Your blood's worth a lot of money.

To who?

Scientists.

So if we catch them and bleed them out, we can make some a couple bucks.

Yeah, but they have labs that do it.

Yeah.

So they don't buy it on the black.

I think it's something like $7,000 a pint.

Aren't they always cheap?

We got a retirement plan.

Their theories on dinosaurs constantly.

Dinosaurs look like big lizards.

Okay.

Oh, no.

That couldn't possibly work.

Okay.

They look like big chickens.

They had feathers.

They had feathers.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

They weren't as colorful as you'd think they were.

Oh, well, they were.

Oh, they're slow moving.

No, no, no, no, no, they're quick.

Well, they spent all their time living in water because they were so big.

Oh, no, no, now they can walk on land.

Oh, boy.

This is a ghastly place, man.

Why?

You guys are pushing this bit too far.

Well, why, though?

Why do you think it's why do you just swallow

everything?

Because

they're correcting themselves, which is

what you're saying is.

Am I not putting this?

I slept like four hours last night.

Science, you have a theory.

They're ropodoping me.

Help me.

You gotta be ropodoped by two flat earthers.

It evolves.

Oh, that's just crazy talk.

The theories evolve, right?

Like, this is what we think.

And then, you know, they're like, oh, wait, we were wrong about that.

You know, we discovered something else.

Turns out that they're more closely related to birds.

So inclined to believe everything then when they're because we're not smart enough to figure it out on ourselves.

And also, I don't care that much.

Yeah, I read an article about that telescope that they're like looking at the black hole.

The Hubble.

And not the Hubble, it's a different one, right?

It's like five different ones, yeah.

It's like these five telescopes that now they're looking at a black hole, and I'm like, this is really interesting.

And I read the article, and I'm like, I could half the shit, I'm like, I don't know what this means because it's all fucked up.

Okay, I want to tell you this, and I know you're going to think I'm crazy, though.

Okay, it has to do with telescopes, too.

I'm not sure.

We're living next door to each other.

I got a telescope in my window.

I'm not sure that all the pictures that they throw out there for consumption for the public are real.

Dude,

who knows if we even went to the moon or something?

I wouldn't be shocked at anything.

There's a site just recently dropped Q.

You may want to look it up.

They found a penguin on Mars.

All right.

Which leads me to believe, obviously, there's no penguins on Mars.

But they're fucking throwing out shit that they didn't look at close enough.

And they're not real pictures from another planet.

They're probably so preoccupied making up these fake black hole pictures that

the quality control drop.

Don't go off on it.

Are you talking about a sun reader?

The sun, the British newspaper, spotted a penguin behind a rock on Mars.

But there's a lot of people.

That's like a weekly report.

That can't be what that's like.

That can't be what you're throwing my way.

What's the sun?

This is fucking Batboy level shit.

Oh, no, no, that's not the picture anyway.

Look under just images.

I mean, here it is on Yahoo News saying a scientist is claiming it.

These so-called scientists with their fucking.

penguin.

Does it look like a penguin?

Sure, but it also looks like a rock.

Or it looks like a duck.

So, yeah, I mean, what they're expecting you to believe then, this one guy anyway, he's convinced he spotted a penguin that in a fucking airless atmosphere, one penguin is hanging out on the penguins.

I mean, it's clearly a rock behind it that's smaller in comparison.

That's reflecting swamp glass.

It could be a little penguin sticking his head around a rock and taken from some other location and then present it to the world as like NASA presents more photos so they can get more funding.

Wait, what?

It's all a fucking game, man.

It's all lies.

But I don't understand what you just said.

Because NASA wants to make sure that they constantly are throwing out things to get the public interest so they can keep getting funding and all their humiliation.

So just

again, and I'm only asking because I want this straight in my own head.

You think the fact that

the human race has successfully landed robots on mars isn't enough to keep interest and money flowing we now need penguins put a penguin on mars

well i'm not sure that like

you don't think there's a penguin on mars no okay i believe that photo was taken on earth and was not fact-checked or was not given the thorough once over by everybody it was released like a penguin wandered onto set from the fucking local zoo somehow it was probably taken from some other locale well this looks alien enough if we we twinge the or tweak the colors,

put a red filter on it.

So, you know, they weren't on Mars at all.

I believe they've tried to get on Mars, and I believe that when photos

they can't get them, they'll fake them then.

So, you don't believe we're on Mars?

I believe they tried to get on Mars.

I believe they sent that rover, and maybe it did.

Maybe it crashed, but maybe.

But to continuously get all these crystal-clear photos, I find it hard to believe.

Why?

Why?

Because look how far away Mars is, and you're getting photos.

I mean, I can't even download a file sometimes that people send me.

Yeah, but I mean, they're not using Verizon, brother.

They're not really.

Fucking dial-up shit.

No, they don't.

They did say like the moon landing, it was like an incredibly small amount of memory that did all this shit, right?

Like some computer.

Like, like, not nearly enough.

I mean, I don't want to sound, again, I'm not no conspiracy theorist,

but

when you look at things really closely and you start to pick things apart,

I don't see there's anything wrong with doing it.

I can't stand people who just want to just shut up cynical.

The existence is based on cynicism.

The devil is in the details.

Yeah, I just don't want to look at things too closely.

Like, if they want me to believe that we went to the moon, I'm fine believing that.

If they want me to believe that we're on Mars, I'm okay believing it.

But why would you want to believe things that aren't true, though?

What's a life

led among built upon lies, though?

What is an existence like that, though?

Wouldn't you rather know the truth than not know the truth?

Would I rather know?

Yes.

Am I going to get worried if I don't know?

Not really.

What difference does it make to me?

It makes no difference to me whether on Mars or not.

I'll personally know.

Yeah, I'll never see the benefits of any of this stuff.

But if they're lying to you about that, what else are they lying to you about?

Yeah, but my point is, I don't care about any of it.

What should I care about?

All right, what about that?

What do you care about?

Natties.

What about this, though

should science try to cure death because they're trying to do it now yeah hopefully in the next 30 years you think they should do that i would love for the wealthy and entertaining yeah yeah you gotta prove your worth through at least eight seasons

do you hear what they did with the pigs brain cells

yeah seven uh six and a half six and a half

What's going on?

Did you hear what they did with the pig's brain cells?

No, what's going on?

They brought them back to life.

Awesome.

So like zombie pig?

Well, just the brain cells.

Not the pig.

But they were necrotic?

Like they were totally

dead.

Wow.

Totally dead.

Brought them back.

And they were able to do some shit to it to start making them vital again.

What happened to religious people getting worked up about this kind of stuff?

Remember, like the first test tube baby they got worked up about, and then stem cells they got worked up about?

Where are people where they're like you're reanimating pigs now?

Well, I think that once it gets really close to...

No, they're not reanimating pigs.

That's not really accurate, though.

They just took some cells and were able to turn them back on.

Right.

Do you think, though, that, I mean, all honesty, not as a joking, but do you really think science should be trying to solve death?

Yeah, I do.

Why?

Death is a bad condition, man.

There's no coming back from it.

No, well, do we need to be taking care of all these older and older and older and older people?

How long should a person be able to...

So indefinitely, infinity.

At what point then does it?

Well,

you got to cure aging.

You got to cure aging as well.

Right, because you keep getting older and older.

Like, nobody's going to bang you.

Well, this is like, well, why am I even here?

When I had the surgery on my wrist four weeks ago, the guy was telling me that, so I thought I said this on the show already, but that kids, that kids that are being born today could expect to live to like 100, 120 years old.

And he said that

he said that the problem is.

Who said this?

The hand surgeon that I had.

He said that the problem is going to be...

Yeah, well, I flew down.

South of the border.

So, how much am I saying?

I know you're a cheap motherfucker.

I would have put it faster.

You got a pud implant.

You found him at Zaywatanahu?

He said the problem is

that

our bodies just

will not be able to handle as long as you can make you live forever, but your joints are all going to need to be replaced.

But you would be like a zombie.

You'd be like, dude, I was fucking 45, whatever, and I had to get a knee replacement.

You'd be all mechanical.

You'd be Darth Vader.

Except for your brain, which they keep fixing up.

If they could fix Alzheimer's, right?

It'd be great if they could.

I would love it.

I would take it in a heartbeat.

You're the guy that says it like you're just so tired.

Yeah.

How much more do you want to put up with this, though?

No, no, but I got stopped.

But what about the next society or the next generation?

And generation after that, and generation after that.

I don't have any kids.

No, no, no.

I'm my own replacement.

No, no, no.

You had kids, so you have to die.

I'm holding on to my spot.

Okay.

I'm not giving it up.

Technically, I don't have kids.

That's right.

We're hanging out.

That's right.

No, but I'm just saying, but if no one's dying.

Kiddom's in too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're the only one that's fucked.

We'll talk about you in a thousand years.

That's why Dr.

Flanagan over here is trying to fuck him up.

But the world is overpopulated.

I think that's a good rule.

You don't think that's a good rule?

If you spawn a replacement, then you have to go.

If you don't spawn a replacement, you get to stay.

It's going to be a shithole.

The whole world's going to be shit.

It's already a shithole.

Right.

Well, not every place.

But

if no one's dying.

New York City is.

If no one's dying and we're overcrowded and overpopulated as it is, what will that world look like if no one's dying and we're keeping everybody alive?

It won't be my problem.

Who's going to be taking care of these old people?

No, no, it won't be my problem.

I'll be fine.

No,

I'll be okay.

No, but you keep working?

Also, do you keep working the whole time?

You have to sustain yourself, so you're like 400 and you

go into work.

I mean, I'm not saying it's ideal, but at a certain point, there's going to be a tipping point where you've made enough money to take 100 years off.

That's true.

Can you come back and people are still into IJ after 100 years?

Oh, God.

I don't think in five years people are going going to be into IJ, but IJ is the next match and shit's giving me hope.

It lives on.

It affects people in a real way.

Well, you got to assume that if we start colonizing other planets,

we're going to send the other one.

Why not?

We already got part of it.

We're actually going to believe

that's an option.

You don't think that's eventually going to be possible?

We can't fucking bring water and foliage to

Africa, to the continent.

We can't get them sustaining.

Who's we?

Why can't Africa get their own water and fucking?

The science community can't figure out how to make Africa.

Well, I'm not talking about tomorrow, but you don't think eventually we will.

But yet we're going to go to another planet.

We're going to be able to pull it off there.

Like, eventually.

You don't think so?

That is true.

Most of the planets look like Africa.

Any number of African countries, right?

Like old

desert and shit.

You don't know.

It's never going to happen.

Never going to happen.

You know how much...

Never going to happen.

How much money it would take?

Well, then you're like, I mean, if you're going to these places, then you're creating artificial uh atmosphere you got a you got a truck and all these

go

me yeah

why

does

to warrant that kind of privilege nothing i've done nothing right so you are going to be able to go we're we're going to have to take people up sub not that you're not but i mean like

i'm okay with that

continue

but like scientists yeah and people who will be able to yeah but if i get it's it's the they're the new pilgrims the space age pilgrims.

But if I live forever, and they didn't take meetings as I recall Tanta Maria and the fucking

they took people that could get shit done when they got there.

Santa Maria.

Well, what about

the pento?

That's a ship.

If it got eaten from behind, it exploded.

He's schooled paleontologist today.

Dressed in Germany.

Head to toe.

I can't remember all the ships' age, but you know what?

Oh, there's three.

That's a lot.

Tanta.

What's it called?

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria.

None of them had comedians on them.

You don't know that?

I know it for a while.

Well, they were pilgrims.

They had sticks up there and they're on the bottom.

There's probably nothing to joke about.

But they were, if there was a comedian on there, a guy with a sense of humor,

he wasn't put on the boat because of it.

No, no, no.

He's just a wise ass.

Yeah.

In fact, he's probably the first one they eat when they run out of fucking boat.

He was the captain's gesture.

Right, but you got to remember: look, I'm a professionally trained fireman, man.

I got skills.

Those skills are eroding every day.

Yeah, but I find if I have a hundred

because fire.

But if I know I'm immortal,

I'm going to get back in the game.

So, wait, wait, wait.

You think that your skills of firefighting on the ground on Earth will transfer up into space?

No, no, I think that I have the time to get trained.

If I'm immortal, I could get trained in space.

Oh, you're still immortal.

Okay, all right.

But that's the basis of this whole conversation, isn't it?

Oh, I thought maybe you just thought maybe in your when shit gets gets really goes south that we'll start to look at another planet.

If

I think eventually the human race will go to other planets, we're talking, I don't think that's the only thing that's happening.

But without the immortal

immortality, just the continuity of humanity.

You think that at a certain point,

Earth will colonize another planet?

I think so, yeah.

I think it's inevitable.

Also, I think because everyone's so worked up, we glossed over that it's the Mayflower that brought the pilgrims.

The other ones were the Columbus issues, right?

That is most likely correct.

Yeah.

I believe so.

Even on, all right, so you know.

1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

Yeah, the Mayflower brought the pilgrims.

Mayflower and what?

There wasn't one ship.

There were other ships.

No, that was the one that they always taught you about in school.

I mean, you want to talk about bullshit.

Like, forget science, like, history.

Oh, but it glosses over like the bad stuff.

Yeah.

Well, like the shit that they teach you.

Right.

So if that was the curriculum,

what makes you think that science wasn't also tweaked?

Oh, I think it is tweaked all the time.

I mean, big shit.

What's the point of tweaking little shit?

Well, you know what I'm saying?

It devils in the details.

I mean, like the Sun's 93 million miles away, depending on, you know, the season or whatever.

Who's going to argue between 93 and 95?

There's no way to tell.

But like little shit, little everyday shit that

they may need to adjust, whether it's a medical science or

that kind of thing.

And those three ships were Columbus's.

So, how

is it one of the nine planets in our solar system?

You think we'll have to look outside the solar system?

I'm just relearning about ships right now.

Didn't we boot Pluto?

But do you think we'll have to look outside our solar system, Q, for this planet, Earth 2?

I think it comes down to travel and energy.

If they could figure out a way to replicate energy and cross distances without it taking decades, I think the world is.

I think the universe is.

It doesn't matter.

We're immortal.

So

immortality is not even quite different.

Event Horizon Telescope.

That's what I was thinking of before.

I couldn't remember the name.

Do you remember that movie, Event Horizon?

Yeah, it's actually really good.

Yeah, does it hold up?

Because I remember loving it.

It definitely does.

That's one with Sam Neal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, sorry.

It's funny, I can't remember the fucking ships that Christopher Columbus came over, but I'm like.

You got to remember so many other things.

Hey, I remember Sam Neal was in the fucking Event Horizon.

I'm just an idiot.

Like, I'm an idiot.

I'm no better than the fucking paleontologist.

Well, I'm stupid, too.

But you don't interject yourself as

the learned

school.

I hope I've never given anybody the impression that I think I know what I'm talking about.

Quite the opposite.

Look, obviously, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I just don't like the idea of just believing every single thing that

somebody tells me.

I agree with that.

I think that's healthy.

I just feel like...

Just because they're wearing a lab coat or something.

Yeah, but it's fucking fancy.

But I think you need better reasons to disbelieve things.

Why do you care?

I guess, why do you care?

Let's say we found that tomorrow.

Because it's fucking arrogant.

Let's say we found

that I can't stand.

Fair.

And then trying to

say that they're so much better and more intelligent.

Are they saying that?

Well, whatever.

I don't have to say they're more intelligent.

They definitely are.

They are.

You know

they think.

Big dick swinging, paleontologist.

What else do they got?

Nothing.

Except for their brain.

The fucking degree degree of the money that comes in.

Dinosaurs, my life.

It's like, well, you're likely a nerd.

You're a nerd.

You're a little nerd.

Girl.

You're just a little nerd.

Kick your ass.

Yeah, fuck them.

All right.

So what are the implications if tomorrow the fucking lid got blown off?

And it turns out the dinosaurs never existed.

They were always made up.

What happens?

I think we have to look at

everything that we've been taught and everything that's been shoveled down our throats and be like, okay, we got to question everything now.

We just can't.

This was obviously a conspiracy.

For what reason, I don't know.

Maybe because it was something to do with the Bible, a reason to like

disprove the Bible.

I think there'd be a lot of disenfranchisement.

I mean, the museums are fucking out of commission.

They're out of business.

The Museum of Natural History is.

They still got ownership.

Just put a sign

up for sale because it's fucking

up for sale.

It's all worthless.

It's worthless, huh?

I agree with you in as much as like question everything.

Oh my god, that's what TSD should be all about, man.

Question everything.

Truth every single day.

Boom.

I used to catch a ton of shit.

Pam would fucking lose it on me because I would question everything.

I'd be like, well, why?

She didn't want to hear it.

Well, because she didn't know the answers.

And you were too lazy to look for him yourself.

You just keep going, why?

Why?

Yeah, I was a lazy eight-year-old.

But you got to go look for yourself, though, like me and Giddam.

Like, we have these conversations and we we're interact like, why aren't you more like a 50-year-old man?

Drag yourself to the library, idiot.

We challenge each other daily.

Yeah.

Sometimes Ginnem

teaches me something.

Sometimes I teach him something.

Right.

You have a vast knowledge of LEDs.

That's a rewarding relationship, though.

Yeah.

So you're so wait.

We don't talk down to each other just because.

Oh, come on.

Let's not slip into that anticipate.

That's 50% true.

Don't damage.

We're going to need to tweak the science on that a little.

We're going to be the chalkboard on that one.

Fears maybe a little inaccurate.

That's just passion, I tell him.

Dehumanize you.

That's just me being passionate about

my fears.

And what if it's in front of other people?

I'm extra passionate.

I'm trying to wake him up.

this guy believes anything

i mean come on

penguins bars

two hard dinosaurs

now what about this too the last thing about prehistoric creatures they found a horse the most preserved horse cool ever it's got hair on it and everything and it has blood in it Awesome.

They are going to now clone it.

Great.

Which is a regular old horse?

I like that.

It's well, look it up.

Okay.

It's just prehistoric horse cloning, most

exquisite specimen ever.

Do I have to type in all those?

Make sure it's.

Can't I just put in prehistoric horse?

No way, it's asking for exquisite news.

Go under news, though.

Now, I'm curious as to why you say great.

Why is that great, though?

Isn't that your evidence of something?

A 42,000-year-old horse.

42,000-year-old isn't that old.

It It can't be that different.

No, it's.

They're bringing back Willie Mammoth.

Oh, he was frozen.

They've been saying that for how long have they been telling that fucking lie?

Yes, this is

a fully preserved.

He looks like he's a fucking barn fire.

But in 40,000 years,

it wouldn't have evolved that much, right?

Won't they just be bringing back a horse?

Right, that's what I'm saying.

So why are they doing this?

You have to do it.

Because they can.

Right.

But there's more to it than that, I think.

We have to question why.

They just say they're going to do it, and we're like, okay, go ahead, do it.

Great.

But why is it?

Why are they doing it?

It says right here, what's the purpose?

Because it was extinct, so I guess they're seeing if they can bring back an extinct animal, right?

Is that good that we should bring back it?

There's a reason it went extinct.

Yeah.

It was weak.

No,

well, and you're only bringing one

pussy ass horse.

It didn't deserve it.

Yeah, but if a species got wiped out because of us.

It didn't.

This is not one that did.

Okay, you're talking about specific instincts.

I guess I'm talking about cloning in general.

But all right, fine.

Like woolly mammoth was because of us.

Was it?

Yeah.

We were stronger than it.

Right, but if we have the

smarter.

But why only exercise the power to destroy?

Why not exercise the power to bring back?

So we can destroy it all over.

Bringing it back.

Yeah.

What are the ramifications of it?

I don't know, but I like movies that start with this premise.

Everything's like Dr.

Malcolm.

No, nothing's a movie.

I'm just saying, like, I think that.

Why not?

But why, if you could do it, do it.

Why not do it?

What if it.

Your comedian was so preoccupied whether or not he could.

He didn't think that he should, right?

But why shouldn't we?

You're just going to let him quote Jurassic Park

because I love the movie, so I want him to.

I'm setting him up for some of these.

And I'm not going to like the doom and gloom of a sci-fi movie.

But what can we learn?

I'm just like, what is the point and what is the real angle?

I want to know what they're looking past the

sci-fi.

You thought it was to deny God?

I think so.

Yeah.

But you could just take the angle that God gave us the tools and the ability to do this.

If everything is God's will,

then

religious types love to say.

Well, somebody was talking on the set today of like how they were saying that like what like Notre Dame burning down.

Yeah.

Like,

um,

well, how could everything be God's will if they're burning?

And I'm like, and then somebody else was like, well, what if God's will was that the church would burn?

So these two people who work on the reconstruction of it have a baby and that baby turns out to do something great in the name of God.

There's no way to understand God's will.

I love this.

You guys are talking about this on the set of Impractical Jokers.

Yeah.

So, like, so you, these guys, not only are we having conversations of this magnitude and weight, I can't believe on the impractical jokers you guys are talking about that show.

We also have dumbass conversations, but that was one of them that was today.

So,

if God never, I mean, I don't mean that painting.

No, no, I can't.

Fuck eggs and stuff like that, like pulling fingers.

To hear that you guys are talking about that kind of like intellectual conversation that challenges and makes people, you know.

Right.

So, what if the horse, what if it's God's will that we discover the technology to bring the horse back?

You don't know.

Well, first off, can you really bring it back?

Because they're going to put it in a horse.

It's only going to be one.

So, if you said they tried 20 times to do it so far,

everybody going to have the same horse try to mate with itself?

But I think you're missing the point of it.

It was like, what if

the point isn't to bring back the horse?

The point is, through the process of attempting it, something else is gained or something has branched out from that.

That was the intention of God putting that horse in the ground.

Do you ever want to, okay, you just say yes or no?

I really don't want to like,

and I don't want to like paint, I don't want to have anybody go after you for your, but should we ever put shackles on science?

No,

I don't think we should.

I mean,

you're talking about this kind of stuff.

I mean,

are you talking about like Nazi Germany science where it's like, let's make twins have sex and see where the baby comes out?

But that was God's will.

Right.

Like, yeah, it's also God's will that we fucking stomped them out.

And when I say we, I mean

anybody else with me.

Time jiggle up.

So aside from, I guess, so then I guess the answer is yes.

I think there should be some checks.

I don't think they should be doing shit like that.

But

I don't know.

It's a tough question, right?

Well, I think if you leave out those type of things.

Well, who's to say what's abhorrent?

I said that right now.

I think society as a general.

I don't know.

It's a great question.

Should they be creating new life?

I mean, isn't that pretty much what God is for?

To me, well, maybe God gave us the ability to do it for a reason, is my point.

But, like,

to kill...

I don't know.

I mean, I don't know.

I'm not up to the task.

This is what me and get them to do fucking seven hours a day.

It's exhausting when I share it.

I'm sure Kevin would be very happy to hear that this is.

It's not like we're not fucking pricing comics and doing doing other shit.

We're also chasing out customers with our

F-baked theories.

And we checked out the paleontologist.

We're still listing our.

Yeah, and

I got his name off the credit card and we received him to see if he's a real paleontologist.

Sounds like a

horrible breach of privacy, and we ducked the shit out of him.

It actually sounds the word's illegal, I think.

So the illegal part was when we put his credit card number on the internet.

No, no, no.

We just took took what he signed his name on the receipt.

No numbers.

We don't do shit like that.

No, I know you didn't mean that.

Did he write doctor ahead of it or just do it?

No, he did not.

I think in terms of victimless science, no, they shouldn't be shackles.

Well, you think about...

But that led to the A-bomb.

Think about Victorian-era

medical stuff, right?

Yeah.

How brutal some of it was, but they test on people, they test on prisoners, and that continues through Nazi Germany or like, say, Japan, like Unit 731, where they're doing all the experiments on people.

And then those scientists.

I don't know.

I'm not familiar with that.

731.

Oh, it was like basically a concentration camp where they were running all kinds of crazy.

There's stuff that would make the Germans, some of it would make the Germans.

Yeah, the Germans would be like, holy shit, this guy's crazy.

Really?

What's an example of that?

It was a lot of experiments with freezing people, cutting off their arm, like doing a lot of surgery without anesthesia.

How could you even do that?

Because that person is not happy as it's happening.

No,

okay.

Because they say they're doing it in the name of science, and that's how they justify it.

But then, all those scientists, like, you know, from Nazi Germany with Operation Paperclip and this one, too, it's like then America brings all these scientists over, and they're like, would you guys find out?

Sure.

We picked their brains.

Because a lot of cryogenic science was

mangala.

So you have all,

and that's because science wasn't shackled now.

I don't think we really need to know what surgery without anesthesia feels like because anesthesia exists.

I could tell you what it feels like.

It's not fun.

Because when I went to Mexico to get my wrist done,

anesthesia was a bottle of tequila.

And a bullet might not do it or something.

It's nuts.

Well, I like it, man.

I like the...

There's a branch of philosophy, I think it's solipsism, where it's like the only thing that's guaranteed to exist is your own mind.

Like, that's the only thing you can be sure about.

The only reality.

Maybe that's what that is.

Yeah, that's what you guys have adopted.

Yeah, we're just doing that.

And we don't like to get into heated argument.

I don't even say it's an argument, but we don't like to pwn somebody and have a bullshit.

Well, I know he does, but

he has no pride pwning a paleontologist.

Right.

Except here.

It sure seemed like you did.

Yeah, it's just

different.

Tapping his ring on the counter.

Fancy pants, motherfucker.

Garmani.

Had to tell him.

Wow.

You mentioned Notre Dame earlier.

It got all burned up.

I saw it just as it broke.

It's like, oh, Notre Dame's on fire.

And I almost tweeted Sacre Blue more like Notre Flame.

And I was like,

so glad I did it, right?

That's not on brand?

That would have been a rough brand.

Yeah, that would have been off-brand.

Is that the New York Post title today?

I wouldn't be surprised.

However, I found out that somebody has been tweeting with reckless abandon,

doing whatever they want, liking porn tweets.

And it's not me.

I know it's not you.

Get him.

It's not Get Hem.

This is a sandbagging?

What the fuck?

He man buys porn statues.

You think he's not going to like videos?

videos?

I like porn.

But I was sent.

Do you want to see the

minor controversy?

Look how with it I am.

I was going to send it to both of you guys, this porn tweet, and then I was like, well, if Walt's phone is lying there and this porn tweet comes up, he may get in trouble.

So I'm going to.

Well,

if your wife saw it.

Yeah.

But you couldn't be like, oh, this is business.

So what?

Then she'd be like, oh, your friends like this shit.

Why do they like this shit?

And they're like, why do you tell her about the problem?

He'd be like, I don't like it.

Bry doesn't like it.

Go ask him.

He's right next door.

So

it says sharing is caring.

This is the screen cap I receive.

I've got several spies out there.

Andrea.

The explanation for this is so mundane.

Well, I don't even know what, is that really what's going on there?

I think somebody's servicing, or two ladies are servicing a dude, right?

You can't really see it, but I think that's what's implied.

Well, it's

not really like a Rorschach.

Well, I believe what it is, is

if you think that looks like Rorschach, you don't get enough.

It's the top of the head.

I think that it's a short video clip.

Oh, is that what it was?

Yeah, I think that what happens is, like, if that was Twitter and you stopped on it, like, you would see a woman giving some dude head.

Okay.

Okay.

Yep.

So, okay, so one lady's holding it and the other lady is

46,000 views.

Okay,

358 likes.

And I'm being singled.

I'm being singled out for enjoying.

Is that your first time you ever liked a clip of that nature?

It's actually not.

It'll probably be your last time.

It's not.

If people are going to be like, I don't want to give the explanation yet because I don't want to kill this.

I don't want to nip it.

It's, I don't want to nip this off at the bud.

Let's keep rolling with this.

What?

Like, people are trying to shame me now, right?

People are trying to slut shame me for expressing my sexuality.

In a few moments, I'm not going to be able to do that.

Is that really expressing your sexuality?

What I like.

It's what he likes.

He He likes it when one girl holds his schlang and the other one puts him up.

I think it's phenomenal.

I think it's phenomenal.

All I know is I started getting people being like.

Yeah, what did you hear?

I started seeing people.

Because I didn't,

I'll just jump to the end.

I don't know that we're going to of all this, but like, so the woman that tweeted it, I've known her for

I knew her before she got in the business.

She's a friend, one of the performers in the video.

She got in the business.

This is a real performance.

Is this an actress?

Okay, I thought maybe it was a...

no,

it's a woman I've known for quite a while now.

Well, it's a porn star.

It's a porn star.

Porn star lady, yeah.

So it's a performance.

But I've known her.

I knew her before she was in the business, and I don't judge my friends by what they do for a living.

If she got into porn, I'm not going to be like, well, now I can't follow you.

Like, it makes no sense.

So, like, when you

even know, like, PR-wise, it may hurt you.

Look, you got to stand by your friends.

You know what I mean?

Like, what am I going to do?

I say one thing is ready to bail.

I've stood with you so far.

You know, that's going to be tested.

You know that's going to come to a bad thing.

And I am ready to bail.

I'm just saying, I haven't yet.

I know you're going to bail.

So I don't know.

I'm going to bail.

I've said it many times.

I'm not really going to bail.

I'm just going to publicly bail.

We're going to be in Vegas.

We'll get them a week later.

But my point is this.

So I don't know.

I was scrolling through and I guess my thumb hit the fucking

the heart.

Next thing I know, I got like four or five people being like, how could you like that?

What are you doing?

Meanwhile, the weird thing is, like, I've actually liked porn links before,

and nobody said anything.

So I don't know why this one, which I didn't even mean to do on purpose, which I would do on purpose.

I'm not even denying it, is the one that all of a sudden I'm getting shit from.

Because people think they're funny.

People think they put like crying emojis

and it's funny.

And I'm just like...

They put crying, like they're like, Q, watch.

People could see what you like.

Crying emoji.

It's funny.

You should mention it.

Really cute.

Porn Q.

Yeah, shit.

It's the equivalent of the

thank you get them.

this is why i love you it's the fucking twitter equivalent of the bud light lady like they think they're fucking funny it's like oh my god as if i'm the only fucking person in the world that watches a light sporn it's what an eight billion dollar a year industry and we're you know you're we're the only ones right now did you unlike it i did but i caved oh no i didn't cave because this is why somebody

i did because one woman said hey man i was at work and what you like comes up on my professional twitter feed so could you oh i'm sorry that that's my fault Now I got to worry about your fucking

Twitter at work anyway.

I agree.

I agree 100%.

But at the same time,

if I'd hit it on purpose, I would have left it.

But I didn't.

So I just undid it.

It was over in two minutes, the whole fucking thing.

Now, all this controversy, Walt, it was started by

13%er.

Okay.

Would we like to scold her?

Because I did

a little legwork.

I got to cue, really.

I got her phone number.

Well,

what's the scolder for?

Because I don't know what.

I'd love to hear what she's thinking.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'd love to hear what she's thinking.

Why does she think it's even noteworthy?

A star of your magnitude is liking something like that.

I only found out recently, though, that you can see what other people like.

Like, really recently.

So I had to go back and uncheck a whole bunch of white nationalist shit.

But like,

let me, like, like, is the presumption, do these people think that I don't watch porn?

I follow porn stars.

You're homogenized because of your TV.

Yeah, but I'm still a human.

I have a collection of erotica.

Does anyone here remember the guy named one statue so far?

Two.

Two, I got the Princess Leila.

Does anyone here remember Ken Bone?

Yeah, he was the guy who asked the question, right?

Yeah, he asked the question, and he didn't go through his Reddit history.

And so people went and started going back to his Reddit history, and he had a bunch of liking porn stuff.

Why is that a problem?

It apparently was.

And he had to go back and you know, erase it all because people were, you know, they kenboned him.

I think

this is like,

I don't want to equate because you're not on the same level, but it'd be like Mr.

Rogers liking it.

That's different.

But you're almost in that category because it's your family-friendly.

But I've never presented myself as that.

And we're fucking

10 o'clock at night.

No, they haven't.

You're on 24-4.

That is a good point.

I can't argue that.

That wasn't the original plan.

You're on 24-7.

Well, that's why

I did that.

That's why I think there are some people are going to be like, wow, you can't do that.

You got to think.

That's fine.

You got to think like a hero.

Yeah, but that's a fucking 13%.

Not a zero.

That's a 13% of who did that.

Not a fucking babysitter watching a fucking thing with her kids around there.

Well, she should be well aware if you're a pervert.

Absolutely.

She should be.

And in fact.

Well, why call attention to it?

I think the thing is,

why call attention to it?

Because then

trying to get me in trouble?

I think that happens to us a lot, though.

On our Patreon, we have some licensed music.

People fucking run out and just start fucking talking about it online.

Instead of just enjoying that,

makes the

visual experience better or the audio experience better when we're talking about songs to put the song back there.

No, they got to run online,

speculate, and try to get it taken down.

Somebody tried that?

Well, no,

not that they tried to do that, but by going out and alerting the rest of the world to it,

it makes it a much better chance of us having to take it down then.

It's good we're keeping it on the deal right now.

But we don't do it anymore because of that.

Oh, they fucking ruined it.

Yeah, it's like

I just, I don't understand what the, I mean, there was, first of all, there were five people who said something.

Right.

This dope was one of them.

The fucking woman who was at work was the one that made me unlike it.

And then other people...

But nowadays, five people having a problem with it is considered a Twitter storm.

It's fine.

It's like,

I just don't understand the laughing emoji.

We can find out, right?

They think it's adorable, maybe.

Okay, I'll take that.

Two girls on one wiener.

But I mean, is there anybody walking the planet that assumes I don't like two girls at once?

I bet you there's a lot of people that listen to TSD, have no idea who the real you are.

TSD?

All I ever talked about was fucking girls.

But don't listen to TSD, I suppose.

Oh, don't listen to TS.

So they have no idea that

you're like the horniest motherfucker that ever walked.

Well, it was.

This fucking old lion.

You're liking pictures like that?

You've still got game, bro.

But I didn't like the picture on purpose.

I will take credit.

Let's act as if I did like it because I'm not.

I would like it.

I just didn't.

I'm supporting my friend at work.

Like, why can't I support my friend that works?

It's just the industry.

You know, she chooses to be in the industry.

But it's just people commenting on it that that kind of gets you, right?

Well, it's just like, no, it's the fucking crying, laughing emoji that I'm just like, you fucking idiot.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why is that so funny?

You're crying, you fucking moron.

You know, she's not crying.

I know she's not.

Just like anybody who's like rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off.

It's like, are you really?

Like.

It's so rare that anybody like, I think I've seen Walt twice fall to the floor because he's laughing so hard.

Sal probably like 50, 60 times.

I'm not even fucking.

I'm not exaggerating.

I I saw it twice tonight.

So there are certain people I'm like, if they tweet it, I believe it.

Sure.

Right?

Most people know, though.

I think most people are not rolling on the floor.

It's just like, I don't get what's notable.

The only one that I was like, all right, was the woman who was like, it was at work.

I was like, all right, I get it.

So I'm with the, I, you know, I don't, I wouldn't call attention to it because I wouldn't want someone calling to attention about me.

I'm not going to judge them.

I don't want that.

Yeah, but I passed that stop sign fucking a long time ago.

When people

think of me as a human.

You want to find out, Q, you can ask her.

But

I want to hear her dopey answer.

Okay.

Well, so the question to Bally, that's your name, to Bally, is why

bring attention to it.

What's up with the fucking emoji?

And why were you really crying and laughing?

Start with, I want to know how old she is.

I think she's 18.

Oh,

you look like a permanent old dude.

Yeah.

Talking about sex.

Okay.

I don't want to ride an 18-year-old.

I mean, I told you it's not like this.

Hey, Bally.

Yeah.

Hey, it's Brian from Tell Hem Steve Dave.

Hi, Brian.

Hey, I'm here with Q and Walt and Gidem.

Yeah, do you like Giddem?

Are you a Gidem booster, or do you dislike Giddem?

I'm not a Giddem hater, but I don't always love his anecdotes.

No?

No one does.

Yeah.

No one's completely.

They're not allowed to do that.

The only one's gone on record ever is being like, I love his anecdotes.

So you're in.

Except me.

Okay, so we have questions here because there was, as Gidham described it, a Twitter storm about Q's careless liking of any tweet he feels like.

But the first question was

what?

Why draw attention to it?

Is that it?

Okay.

Because it could.

Why draw attention to the whole thing?

Well,

why?

Tweet Q and say, hey, you know people can see what you like.

Right.

Because then other people are going to see that and be like, oh, Q.

Oh, cue.

Someone was eventually going to do it, though, if not Hurdo, probably.

If not Bailey, which she did.

Q may feel about you the way you feel about Gedam.

He doesn't hate you.

I don't like your antics, but he's not crazy about your monkey shots.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Yeah, well, basically, I didn't have that intention, but I just saw it.

Like, I was scrolling through my Twitter and I see two girls sucking a dick and I'm like I mean not that I have any problem with two girls sucking a dick but I was like evidence was put up on my feed and I looked up and it said Brian Q liked and I was like what the fuck and I don't know it just struck me as kind of odd like not really in a bad way just kind of like does Q know that people can see what he likes did you know that Q that people could see what you liked yeah I know yeah yeah

Q has um it could be damage control but he's claiming that he accidentally liked it It's not damage control because we can proceed as if I did it on purpose.

I don't care.

I literally couldn't care less.

And I guess the second question was also, um,

this is the offensive bit.

Yeah.

What's up with the fucking crying-laughing emoji?

Crying, laughing.

That was before I knew you were an 18-year-old.

It makes sense now.

Yeah.

Wa was it, um was it true?

Were you crying, laughing, or do you just think that it's funny that a doddering old man like Hugh

is completely unaware that people can see his history?

Oh, I actually don't remember.

But yeah, I mean, I don't think I was crying laughing.

I just thought it was like kind of a funny thing to point out.

My cubic

when he had, remember when you thought you were sending a DM, but you were sending a public tweet?

Like, maybe he doesn't know how to work Twitter yet.

Yet.

How long has it been on?

When you were trying to.

I mean,

that was three years ago, and I got to tell that story on stage at Madison Square Garden, so I think I know what the fuck I'm doing.

He's unhappy with it.

I didn't make crying emojis.

I made bank.

Very good video.

So you thought you were sending a DM?

I wasn't, I didn't.

No, remember I put my phone number accidentally, I put it online?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah, yeah.

If you believe I did that by accident, I gotta fuck it.

You got a tightrope.

The fucker really did that, Tyro.

Without a harness.

No, I did it with a harness.

So,

Q.

Yeah.

I didn't know she was 18.

There's not even a point to this because she's 18.

That explains everything, right?

Right.

Yeah, yeah.

I sense some ageism, guys.

Well, of course.

Yeah.

We have no fucking valid.

We have no choice but to look down on those younger than us and judge them at every turn.

Well, I mean, it's just like, what is the point?

Like, what if if I had gotten in serious trouble for that?

Yeah, there's a good question.

What if it had turned out it was like a firestorm where he had to go into hiding, maybe?

Wait, so Quinn's fate is in my hand.

Is that what you're telling me?

You never know.

You never know.

People say all kinds of weird things.

God's will.

Yeah.

Has to go into rehab.

No.

No.

Oh, like.

Sex addiction.

Yeah.

He's got a sexy.

Like the company.

Yeah.

I mean, really, when you mentioned it earlier, Walt, the statue and now this.

You might have to say that.

It's like my membrane.

Well, that definitely.

I don't know.

How many times a day do you think about sex?

Because I know what the

answer is.

Now?

Now.

I don't care about when you were a fucking 20-year-old

Blaze of Glory for the Community.

Yeah, I mean, those days, now.

Yeah.

A lot.

Well, give me a number.

I'll say you think.

I heard this question, Billy.

How many times?

Yeah, I heard it.

Let's go on average three times an hour?

Three times an hour.

So 24 hours.

Well, let's say you're sleeping seven hours.

A meth-fueled hit.

Yeah.

So let's say you're up.

You can't think about it while you sleep.

Let's say two times an hour.

Let's average it down.

How many hours are you awake?

You're awake

18 hours out of the day?

36 times a day?

Sure.

That's above average.

Well, what do you say, Bailey?

How many times?

You walk around New York.

You see fucking.

Well, can't he dream about it?

Literally all the time.

All the time?

Now,

is this due to seeing tweets like Q's?

He just puts them out there with reckless abandon, so you have no choice but to think about it.

So, Bailey, let me ask you a question.

So one of the performers in that video is a friend of mine from before she was in the industry.

So now, according to you and your fucking judgment stick,

should I have the second she took up a career that, I mean, I do approve of it, but that let's say I didn't approve of, or that society doesn't approve that I should just cut her loose and abandon her to her fate because of prudence?

Or should I just like what I like without worrying about what Bailey thinks about it?

Wait, she doesn't have a career because you you don't like her tweet?

Are you saying you want to support her by liking it?

But you like it on mistake though.

No, I know that, but she didn't know that when she made that video.

I did.

It's not at all.

Like what?

I don't understand what.

So you're saying, even if you liked it on purpose.

Let's assume I liked it on purpose.

Let's go on that.

If you didn't unlike it after one woman was like, cue.

Right.

That should not be an issue at all.

I don't think it should be an issue.

But I I agree with the woman who's like, I'm at work.

Well, no, don't be on Twitter at work.

You're right about that.

I agree.

I don't know.

I don't know what the answer is.

I think the answer is I just don't like porn tweets and just move on.

I think that's it.

Yeah, I agree with that.

But unfortunately, I didn't do it on purpose this time.

You should go out and like every porn tweet.

Just like that's all you like.

Bad move.

Yeah, I think it's a bad move.

I think what I should do, honestly, I think what I should do is just, I think I should just get off Twitter.

Yeah.

You were tweeting up a storm the other day, man.

I was?

A lot of it is like inter inter people love that.

They love the interaction.

Not the important tweets too much, but the interaction.

But look how it's come back to buy me on my ass.

Well, just maybe just a little bit more.

I have some inclusion, though.

Maybe some other, maybe some not just girls.

Well, mainly I just talk about Ghostbusters and Star Wars.

You know what?

On my Instagram, I follow a trans lady.

Yeah.

I like her tweets.

I'm very inclusive.

I'm a woke as fuck.

Yeah, how come you're not getting laughing fucking emojis?

Nobody knows you are.

I'm not on TV.

You were on TV for seven years.

People know who you are.

Yeah,

those days are long gone.

No one wants to take down a show that's canceled.

Yeah, you think Bailey wants to take down.

What about the Cosby show?

Yeah, they're going after John Wayne shit from 40 years ago.

They've run out of people to take down.

They haven't.

No, they haven't.

Don't say that.

Taking people up.

Obviously, she didn't make it, bring...

notice to it because she thought she no no no no but you never know what could happen though you never

can I tell you guys like what my first thought was yes Bailey I was like I wish I knew another girl in Q is here

who loves some practical jokers and like loves Q and he opens Twitter and he's like what's Q doing lately and he goes through your Twitter and it's just two girls stuck in a dick

yeah no I agree with you there I do agree with you there that's why I unliked it I told you this was this is kind of I I it was an accident I

I Bailey do you advise that I that even though I've known her for many years and I and I, you know, I'm not the type of guy that abandons friends unless it's Brian Johnson,

the most dire of circumstances that

I should cut this person loose, unfollow them on Twitter, and just cut him out of my life for safety's sake?

No, no, no, no, no, absolutely not.

No, that, her career should have nothing to do with your guys' relationship.

So

if you'd like them,

should you also be judged by this neck on if you followed, just follow them in general?

I don't know where the well ends.

I don't know how deep it goes.

I don't know.

Next thing I know, Bailey's going through my follows to see who I follow.

And I'm getting fine, and I got to answer to an 18-year-old on that.

And she objects to something, yeah?

Well, would it be the easiest way to settle this if, and I know he's good at it, if Q just apologized to Bailey for right now and promised to not.

Well, he said not apologizing to her.

I guess making a public apology to anybody who saw it and was offended by it.

I think that's a good idea.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to, at this point,

in this moment, apologize to Bailey that you had to see that.

And I'd like to apologize to anybody that followed me on Twitter that saw it and was offended by it.

Did it mean it was an accident?

You learned something?

Well, I learned I have to be more careful.

And I learned something about influence and power and position.

I didn't take it seriously enough.

And maybe you'll look into maybe seeing if you have a problem or addiction.

I have to take responsibility for these actions.

And that's what I'm going to do.

And that may mean some therapy.

It may.

A little time.

Work on yourself.

A little time.

Reflection.

Would I J be amenable to like maybe you take like six months off right?

Absolutely not.

They're not amenable to me taking a fucking weekend off

what about saying that like

if that was the case I'd be liking porn tweets fine hold on I'm gonna do 20 right now if you were to go like in to make a to show that this is not some sort of just shallow apology, am going to abstain for six months.

Yes, I'm willing to make that promise.

I will not masturbate nor have sex for six months starting from right now.

Why are you so willing to do that, though?

Because I think it's the right thing to do.

I think that's part of stepping up and taking responsibility.

I will also stay off of Twitter for six months as well, starting right now.

Okay.

Starting off Twitter for six months?

Yep.

So are you really going to?

How are you going to do that, though?

Stay off Twitter?

Well, just not going to go on.

I'll delete it off my phone right now.

Really?

And why are you so willing?

But why are are you so eager, though, to not have sex?

The Twitter party don't care about that much.

Because

it's the part that nobody could prove.

We could put a chassis belt on you and you don't know the lock.

Yeah, that's true.

But I was a fireman.

I know how to get you.

I may not know how to get to other planets, but I know that's a good idea.

We'll put a little fire explosive on next to your left.

All right.

Are you the key master?

Are you the key master?

And it could blow off your gonads if you fucking.

Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Well, they just abstain for six months.

That's what I'm going to do.

If they can raise a 42,000-year-old horse from the dead, they can

explosive chastity.

So,

Bailey, because of you, and I appreciate this, I thank you.

I will be off of Twitter for at least six months.

So, thank you for that.

And isn't it great that this lesson comes from not an older, wiser person, but 18.

Just turned 18 recently, right?

Yeah, pretty recently.

Oh, I believe the children of the future.

Oh, of course.

You teach them well and you let them lead the way.

It takes a village and all that.

Yes.

So six months starting down.

And if anybody asks me why I'm not on,

I'll be sure to direct them to Bailey to let them know.

Right.

Tens of thousands of rabid female IJ fans.

How about like once a month for the next six months, I'll jerk you off.

And then

I'll look at the load.

And if it's small, I'll know he's lying.

Third time.

If it's weighty,

I'll come back.

I like that.

I think that's what I would get.

That's That's great.

That's the Telim Steve Dave Promise.

Once a month, Brian will be jerking me off once in Vegas while I'll get him watches.

And I've seen it.

Well, thank you, Bailey.

We needed someone to talk sense to this guy.

I appreciate it, Bailey.

Thank you.

She's right.

Honestly, Bailey, for some reason,

it was the crying emoji that got me.

It was the crying emoji.

It was the crying emoji.

I'm looking at the tweet, and I didn't do the crying emoji.

Oh, the one you showed me how to cry emoji.

Maybe somebody else was crying at it.

That was

at This Is Not Soap.

Okay.

Oh, all right.

So she's not crying.

All right.

All right.

So your tweet was just like, you can see what people like.

You can see what you like or whatever.

On Twitter.

Dot, dot, dot, at BQ Quinn.

You know, people can see what you like, right?

Elevate.

Oh, that's helpful.

Oh, what?

So she did laugh her ass off a little.

She didn't cry, though.

All right.

All right.

I appreciate it, Bailey.

Thank you.

just so you know was

in this instance not in the past but in this instance it was a slip of the thumb

all right all right no more future likes yeah six months i'm gosh thank you all right bailey thank you thank you bailey thank you guys have a good day

she turned out to be a rather nice young lady yeah she seems

um so just like science tell him steve dabe yeah always evolving always evolving

always evolving Ever evolving.

Never evolving?

Ever evolving.

Ever evolving.

Perpetually evolving.

Yeah.

Walt.

There you go.

I don't know if that's what you wanted.

It wasn't that great of

an outro, I didn't think.

I thought you were going to come up with something better.

Of course, it's not.

But it's an outro.