#374: Johnson Being

Q, I can't tell you how happy I am you were able to fly back for this special announcement to kick off Cinco TSD Mayo.

I would not miss the kickoff of Cinco TSD Mayo.

You left in the middle of the shooting.

You were like, fuck it.

Fuck it.

I'm out of here.

Really, there were no flights.

I had to hire a $50,000 private plane to be in the celebration.

Like, I got a month to celebrate this.

Full of money on the end of the hundred plus more.

I am.

May 9th through June 14th is official TSD Awareness Month.

June 15th.

Well, I thought May 9th through June 14th.

No, no, I was asking not to.

Oh, okay, yeah.

May 9th through June 14th every year will be where listeners can celebrate TSD by spreading awareness or by this year purchasing a Telm Steve item.

You would also celebrate that one.

You'll see this coming.

Got two new items to celebrate, TSD Cinco de Mayo, or Cinco TSD Mayo.

The first one

is a t-shirt.

And it's the first in a line of a t-shirt line we're calling Great Moments in Telm Steve Dave History.

Oh, wow.

We have our own line now where like Jack and Smith or the Olson twins.

We've seen a line before.

A line like where we'll announce a new shirt to celebrate a great moment in Telm Steve Dave history.

That's actually pretty cool.

Right?

And to launch the line, this very special limited line, too.

It's a limited edition line.

Yeah.

Is

from that classic episode where we told the bowling story, The Four Horsemen.

Four Horsemen, yes.

That is a fan favorite.

I hear about that a lot.

We're putting up a pre-order for the Four Horsemen t-shirt.

And it's got great art by a really cool listener who

designed this t-shirt, and it's a fucking awesome.

If you like metal,

you're going to love this shirt, too.

It's very 80s metal.

All right, where do they find that?

Tell them stevedave.merchtable.com.

The pre-order is up right now.

Nice.

And also, you can order this right now.

This is available right now, and this is the

jewel in the Cinco TSD Maya.

This is why I flew back.

This is why.

This might be

seriously, I mean, up until now, I've said Vinyl Cast 2 has been my favorite project that we've done in terms of just home run quality.

I think that this might be, well, that or the claymation, but I think that this might be the

new

claymation was for hitting, that's like Mount Everest.

And now we've now we're conquering mountains even taller than Mount Everest.

You could be.

This is the moon.

People are going to fucking love this.

It's a new Blu-ray,

or if you want to order it digitally on our

website,

it's a project that we did.

We filmed filmed a pilot to pitch to a network.

And it's a game show.

I guess a game show pilot.

It's not a pilot.

It's scripted.

It's a legitimate game show.

And

we filmed it, we submitted it, but now we're going to offer it to

the listeners a chance to watch it.

It's called Elephants in the Room.

And I'm pretty proud of it.

You should be, man.

People have been asking

because a long time ago,

I tweeted a photo of the

barrel with the chocolate leaking out of it.

What the fuck is that?

This is what that is.

We are offering it on Blu-ray with seven signatures.

Seven signatures on one Blu-ray.

Three of what you care about.

And if you don't care about the Blu-ray, you can buy it digitally at tellhemstevedave.com.

If you want the Blu-ray, you can go to tellhamstevedave.merchtable.com.

And

it's a game show unlike any game show that's ever been

seen.

That's true.

It tackles topics that no one

has thought of before has ever dared tackle in a game show.

It's the title.

And

it's

funny.

Oh, it's got to be over an hour and a half.

It's funny.

It's insightful.

It can be enraging, depending on what side of the fence you fall on on some of these topics.

But all in all, it's all good fun, and

I can't say enough how proud I am of it.

And it also has the listeners submitted commercials, and when we have to take breaks, when we're doing set-ups,

we filmed these ad breaks where we thought we could have listeners send in Tell them Steve Dave-centric commercials.

So, I mean, this is I don't think I can't think of a better way to celebrate TSD Awareness Month by ordering elephants in the room.

What the fuck with these guys in the music mixer?

They love it, too.

I mean, Jesus Christ.

It's so loud in there.

It's so loud.

It's crazy.

Yeah, this is.

A lot of money was poured into this project.

We've spent more in this budget of this pilot than we've ever spent on anything.

Right.

And we did not pay for everybody's gym membership in this either.

Yeah.

Nobody complained about not swimming over the summer.

There's a set.

There's props.

There's costumes.

There's

Megan Mike.

There's Megan Mike.

There's Sunday Jeff.

There's Gidam.

There's

Troy.

That's right.

Chris LeDondo.

Is the Don Pardo of

the entire affair?

I mean, I think

it'll go down as one of our

most well-received pieces of

extra product that we've put out.

It's a home run.

I hope so.

I hope people like it.

It is a home.

I can't thank you enough.

I've watched it.

It was amazing.

For flying back in and putting the production on hold for this.

Yeah, something's deserved.

Something's deserved.

Told the studio to go fuck themselves.

Hey,

what are you going to do?

There's a guy who's.

Forget it.

Forget it.

No spoilers.

Well, go ahead.

No, no, you won't want me to say it.

Oh, okay.

I think

it is

sure to go down as one of the biggest moments.

It's historic.

And tell them, Steve, Dave, history.

We'll be a shirt of it the following year.

It might be the second in the TSD line of great moments.

And Tell Him Steve Dave history.

It might deserve a shirt right out of the gate.

But go get it at tellhemstevedave.merchtable.com for the Blu-ray and tellhemstevedave.com if you just want to get the digital download.

I'm all turned around on physical media, thanks to you.

Oh, yeah, how so?

Because I bought something from iTunes, and then fucking something happened with the internet.

I couldn't fucking get it to download.

I was like, you know what, if this is a fucking DVD, it would not be a problem.

So I started buying DVDs again.

I even got a little DVD player like you have.

Oh, yeah, you brought one.

Yeah, Mike gave me that.

That's a cool setup, right?

You have an Xbox.

I do, but if it's like a tiny little one, you can bring around with you, you know?

It's like a portable DVD player.

Yeah, so when I go out to dinner with my parents, I can watch it like I'm a four-year-old.

Sorry, because I gotta get back to Seth.

Oh, really?

That's it?

I mean,

anything you can tell us from the set?

Any fucking

tasty stories?

Yeah.

Any behind the scenes?

Did Sal stay up till like 12 one night, maybe?

No,

Sal is definitely in bed by 10 with

craft services.

He's in a craft service coma.

Puts it down.

No, nothing yet.

Nothing yet.

You know, you're going to have to listen to my dispatches, which have been coming in.

But it's fun.

You know, the Apractic Jokers movie, it's just going to be great.

And the budget's low, so, you know.

Tickets will be the same price.

Like everything with us, nobody's expecting much, but they're going to get a lot.

That's the best when, you know.

Coming under the radar, and then upward cup them.

Try to get Gato to kill a prostitute or something so that we have some nice.

The only problem with that is that that's a lot.

It's off-brand.

It's off-brand.

That's why we always have to cover that up.

Oh, you know what?

I forgot to alert you guys, too, that Blue Juice, it's a Blue Juice production.

They're officially putting their logo on the product.

Are they?

Yeah, Blue Juice Films.

How did that happen?

Well, they were here filming it and everything.

Didn't we pay them?

Yeah, but

they asked.

That's how I knew it was a good product because afterward, Tom.

We pay them and they want to...

They made a demand in their contracts?

No, no, no.

They said DJ.

Tom Mum.

Tom Mum, like, pizza delivery guy now, gets a name of a product.

I delivered the pizza.

How come my name's not on the fucking cover?

Fucking wait.

No.

If it was a dog, they would have wanted

their name off of it.

You mean a small horse?

They wouldn't have wanted their name

on the credits, but Tom Mum sent me an email being like, hey, do you mind if we put our logo, Blue Juice Films logo?

I was like, no, we put our name on that check.

Yeah, fuck you, Tom Mum.

That's how I knew

this was a winner.

He's a worm, this Tom Mum.

Somebody listening.

Want that money back?

Money or logo, not both.

You should be saying it's so good that people just want to latch on to it and write coattails.

Well, I mean,

to me.

That's how good it is.

We had to go back to press and make all new covers because Tom needed his fucking dumbass logo.

I'm kidding, no.

I mean, that's how good it is because those are the guys that shoot combo, men, these are pros.

Yeah, and for me,

that was a sign of like he wants to be a part of this because he thinks it's good.

He must have nothing else going on.

All right.

Listeners, hey, again, it's it's it's Cinco TSD Mayo.

Do something to spread the awareness and send it in, and maybe I'll send you a skull.

Oh, that's cool.

You know, if, I mean, well, the best, the best,

what's it called, the best stunt to spread awareness, the best, the most original, novel idea of spreading, tell him Steve Dave awareness is going to get a skull.

And it's a challenge.

Someone whose name I don't want to mention, I'll just say her name is Amy,

sprayed some Tellum Steve Dave graffiti on a bridge that was

pretty huge and looked good.

That's a big one.

If that was submitted now,

that definitely would be, that would be in the top, you know, that would be the final cut to, you know, to be eligible for the final

proceedings to declare the winner.

That was so impressive, yeah.

I saw this on Twitter the other day.

Gemma from the UK, she had put a little Tellum Steve Dave note somewhere in like a bathroom or something or like in a club and somebody found it and then she was like, yeah, I put that there.

Almost like a like a message in a bottle type thing.

Right.

And what about tattoos?

Is tattoos L is that?

Sure.

Yeah.

It has to be like Drake tattoo, though.

It has to be like on your forehead.

There's two

chests four colored demons, man.

Yeah, girls, get the four colored demons on your bralis titties.

What?

He's got it.

Yes, that dude has it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, but unless he's bare-chested, that's that's really not spreading the awareness.

Yeah.

All right, so you're out.

You fucked up.

I'm sure he's got a skull.

That dude's hardcore.

If he's got a fucking tattoo on his chest, he was one of the few that ordered the Prussian Mini.

It's a tattoo, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

All right, guys.

There you go.

That commercial fizzled, but all right.

Have a good time back down there in Hotlanta.

Say hi to him at Freaknick for me.

Is that still going on?

It's a black spring break.

When does that happen?

Spring break, usually.

Like sometime in March or April.

I'm surprised you're not filming there.

Some stunts and some jokes and some practical jokes.

Yeah, like doing some

practical twerking and shit.

This is all definitely going to be twerking and

because I always wanted a nickname.

I wouldn't want pussy in my nickname, but unless it was Hound.

Maybe I

No lights

No retweets

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave Walt.

We have the third in our line of guest hosts.

Frank Five came in strong.

The guests are stars.

The guest hosts are that are.

have

really

brought their A game and have really

brought something,

which we desperately needed with Q's absence.

We needed something to bring people in and the novelty of having a different guest host sit in while Q's away filming.

I think it's paid off so far.

So far, so good.

The pressure's on to keep it going.

Big time pressure.

Is there big time pressure?

I didn't know that you're.

Why would you say this?

Put pressure on the person sitting here.

Because I'm a little annoyed with him.

Because, really, I gave him one of the best nicknames I think I ever came up with, and now he doesn't go by it anymore because

he won the right to not be called Ghost Pussy.

People say it anyway.

People say it anyway.

I feel that

you're not being fair to yourself.

You've come up with far better names than that.

Think those pussy?

It's not really all that great a name.

When did it first, like, it didn't, you came up with that name like a year or two after

I think so.

Yeah, it was just odd.

It's certainly not that all that great.

I love it in its simplicity, though.

That's what I really like about it.

It's like something like maybe a seventh grader would say.

If it was something without the word pussy in it, would you have been more inclined to keep it and kind of own it and like almost accept it as like because I always wanted a a nickname.

I wouldn't want pussy in my nickname, but because it was hound.

I don't know.

But like, I don't know.

It seemed like you were like so

irked by it.

It kind of surprised me because I felt like you had a sense of humor.

I do have a sense of humor.

What irks me is when people use it as a slur, but you can't ever really tell.

You're not afraid of ghosts.

I'm not.

Right?

Well, no.

so you know it's not true so why

like so if like i said if it happened to be um ghost

anything other than pussy would you have ghost fag

i mean is it is that the word because you don't because it's you're is it too much machismo i don't know i i don't know

I don't know.

I don't, it just

even with.

I've seen you even go after people online.

Oh, absolutely.

For cool.

Because here's the thing.

People that, first of all, there's a small, tiny sect, like 99% of the ants are amazing, right?

No, no.

100% of the ants are amazing.

Well, 99%, as far as you're concerned,

99% I've seen.

But there's a 1% of like this white supremacy group of ants.

No.

Totally.

Absolutely.

Well, you're not saying they're actual Nazis.

You're saying that.

No, I'm saying it might be actual Nazis.

Oh, really?

Yeah, totally.

What evidence have you seen?

They use it as a post.

And

in context, how have you seen it used where you're like, where you got so angry?

I don't get so angry.

I mean, I just...

Or you don't, where have you seen it used?

And where you can say that's being used to slur me?

Maybe when

like maybe if Brian will tweet something to publicly shame me about something.

Like out of the blue, I'll get a shaming and then

I'll see the comments of that because I'm tagged in it.

And then they'll say something.

Well, some people don't get that, like, we're friends and it's different with us than if people start piling on top of that.

Exactly.

But you also don't want to come off like Mike Zapzick.

Mike's very touchy.

He blocks people right and left.

Yes.

There's a line, yeah.

And

you may have crossed that line.

Is it another trial for me?

No, not in a bad way where you would need a trial, but like you, like

you def I definitely have

had to had to a different approach after seeing you or to you dealing with you.

Like I felt more like that you were more be treated more like Mike than treat it like, let's say, get him.

He has more like he he rolls with anything that's he's got no choice.

He's round as fuck.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, you know, his sense of humor is, well, like, but you would seem like, well, geez, if he's touchy about that, I don't know,

I don't know what his boundaries are then.

Because that to me would seem so innocent and so not

something that would never dream he would get him annoyed.

Well, I think your boundaries are way bigger with us than some random person who's like, I'm going to fucking go after La Dondo.

Yes.

Yeah, but at the same time, it's funny.

Like, I find the comments people make are funny, but then you can tell sometimes

they don't mean to be funny.

They mean it to be like, you know,

to try to to like, you know,

try to get me, but it doesn't get me.

I mean, because they would never do it in person because if they did, they know it'd be a different situation for them.

You get choked out.

So you would physically attack somebody who called you ghost pussy?

No, no, no.

And choke them out.

No, I mean, like, if somebody was trying to be threatening.

Oh, like, if they were, like, if we're up in your face, like, what are you going to do, ghost pussy?

Like,

let's say we were having an event here, a TSD-related event.

And we've had it,

a lot of

when you're walking out to the car and you saw a list

and you're like, oh, shit, it's ghost pussy.

Would you immediately jump and try to choke him out?

No, not at all.

I think I'd be like, well, if they were excited like that, probably not.

Absolutely not.

They're like, you're awesome, ghost pussy.

No, I don't say you're awesome.

All right.

I just, yeah, I did, I'll just be honest.

I was surprised and definitely had a different

felt like there had maybe more kid gloves had to be used.

I don't want to say kid, less the wrong way, but you know, definitely I was taken aback by

how

angry you got when I saw them when people use that word.

No, but like if you see something me right, it's usually I'm laughing behind it.

Okay.

All right.

You mean it's it's all in the when I see it online, I mean if I see it's hard sometimes in to tell the tone.

So I'm thinking so right.

So I think I'm probably sometimes making that same mistake when people are trying to be be

funny to me.

I think I'm probably, you know,

I probably alienated some people that actually meant it to be funny, then I thought I took it the wrong way.

So in that case.

Well, you can win them back today, maybe.

This episode.

I don't need to win them back.

I'm sure you do.

Otherwise, you'll be choking everybody up

in your house.

Did you listen to the Frank Five in many episodes?

He was so great.

I really love Frank V.

So

you knew going in that you knew the format then because when I asked you

I don't think to you if you want to sit in you and you weren't aware that we were going to do this this series of guest hosts.

No.

Yeah, no, okay.

But I know and then I know you want to ask him something.

Go ahead.

No, no, you can finish.

I was just going to say a little bit further that you were for a while known as the social justice warrior of

this podcast, but lately I feel like you're sort of backed off that.

You're not really so

involved and preachy and sanctimonious and annoying.

Well, the stuff I see that you post now is really like not nearly as much as you did.

There was a stretcher complaint about everything.

No,

not at all.

That's another thing.

He would exaggerate some of my posts and make people think, well, he does that all the time.

It's like, no, I don't.

Go fucking look at the tweets.

Most of the time, I'm retweeting stuff.

Most of the time, when Giddam is showing me things about, like, he, I think there's some sort of,

I don't want to, I don't know what the right word, there's some weird vibe between you and Giddam.

You think so?

There is.

Like, he, I don't know, maybe it's you.

And then maybe he, because you're, I think that you guys are on the opposite side of the political spectrum and the regular one.

And I think that, like, you

tend to irk him with the things that you tweet.

And he wants to then show me.

And he's just like, oh, look what Chris said.

And I'm just like, why are you showing me this?

First of all, get him.

I've donated to his teeth fund,

gave money to that kid, offered him to buy him.

No, I told him.

Offered to buy him lunch,

a vegan lunch, because he wanted to talk about losing weight.

I was like, I go, next time I see you here, we're going to go down the block to go to Karma Cafe.

I'll treat you.

Whatever you want to get.

Now,

am I being an asshole to him?

Not at all.

I don't know.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I thought maybe you could enlighten me as to why.

Do you feel there's a little bit of friendship

between you guys?

I think

I don't know.

He doesn't say anything to my face, though.

When I come in,

now he'll never say anything to your face, but I'm not sure if I can do it.

I shake his hand, we take a picture sometimes, we talk.

I've had good chats with him.

Yeah, like, I don't want to

hear that, but there's some sort of like

where

he feels the need to, I guess,

like I said, I think it's because you're 180

opposed to what he believes in in the world.

Is he like a conservative guy?

I mean, he.

But okay, if he is a conservative guy, and I think he had went to

a Jesuit college, I think, or something.

He didn't finish, even Ted said, but he went to like a Catholic school, like a private school.

And he may be Catholic, whatever.

But when you look at the things that he tweets and he'll start shit, that's not very

No, no, he's definitely not a Christian.

If there's any problem, he has the problem.

I mean, I don't have any problem with him.

I'll talk to anybody.

I don't think, yeah, I don't want to paint it that it's a problem, but

I didn't know if you were aware that there seems to be some sort of

like, I guess you're just

180 degrees.

A little bit of oil and water.

Yeah, but

I'm not saying he doesn't like you, but he seems to be.

He says it all the time.

He've never told me that personally.

No, No, and I don't want to paint that picture that he doesn't, but I didn't know if it was more, if it was all playful or if it was, there was some real.

I would assume for me,

the way I'm looking at it, I would say it was playful because he's never said anything to me in person.

Because every time I see him, hey, what's going on?

Good chats, offer him to buy him lunch, pay for his teeth that he's never bought.

And

first he can't go to lunch because he can't chew.

Right.

Try to buy him teeth.

Man, how close is he?

He's got to be close to those teeth, right?

Yeah, I don't think he's even.

I think at this point he's given up on that dream of

having teeth.

He's got to be like an orthodontist listener, right?

That can just give him like a teeth.

I mean, BQ has given him

plenty of items to sell.

He gave him like hair.

Right.

And

I don't understand Giddam's thought process, but he put it in a tube, like a test tube,

sealed it up, put it in this beautiful mahogany box.

And I'm like, but why aren't you selling it?

I mean, why aren't you trying to, he gave it to you for your teeth fund?

And he's just like, well, I got to wait for the right time.

Yeah, I got to wait till the jokers get hot.

I want to be better with it.

Yeah, so he's, I mean, he's a, he's a dilemma, wrapped in an enigma

because

I've given up trying to figure him out.

Speaking of the Jokers, I went down to the set this past weekend.

Really?

There's no doubt, too, and like he was like i like the times were like i'm coming i'm not coming i'm coming to to tell him steve dave the the it's unbelievable the schedule these guys maintain like sitting there and listening to like their meeting those four guys like their schedule for the next two months and even just what they did now like we uh like they're shooting the movie all week we leave friday

For we leave Myrtle Beach.

We go to Nebraska.

They do a show on Nebraska.

As soon as they're done with that show, they get on a bus.

Then they go to Kansas City.

They do a show in Kansas City that night, stay overnight, then take a bus to Des Moines, and then they fly to Chattanooga to do another show, and then they're back on set shooting.

It's like, they're some hard-working bastards.

Would you be able to do that?

Could I do that?

Yeah.

Like, physically, can I?

Yeah, I could do that.

You think so?

Yeah.

Mentally.

Mentally, yeah, I think I could do it too.

If I was like able to have Sagecum once in a while, you know, that kind of thing.

But yeah, I think I could maintain that kind of schedule for a while.

it's unbelievable I mean it's non-stop it seems with them I don't know when they get the friggin' time for themselves yeah it didn't seem like they had a ton of time for themselves

but being the social justice warrior yeah I have a tweet that I wanted to get your opinion on sure now this is in reference to the the Texas school shooting which I'm not really super familiar with

but I know the the nuts and bolts of it.

So this guy James S.A.

Corey tweets,

Dear boys, if your reaction to being turned down by a girl is to shoot her and a bunch of other people is revenge, maybe you're just an asshole and this is why you can't get dates.

Try not being an asshole.

See if you get more dates that way.

Just a thought.

Now, this has 23,000 likes, 4,000 retweets.

It drove me nuts to fucking read this tweet.

And I unfollowed the person who retweeted it.

It annoyed me so much.

Who is this to?

Who the fuck is this tweet to?

The kid who already did it?

The kids who may do it someday, and are like, oh, wait.

Further alienate those people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Most.

You ever gotten rejected by a girl, Walt?

Oh, absolutely.

Did you shoot her?

Did you shoot anyone else?

No, I never shot anybody.

My life is full of rejection.

I've never had a gun.

I've never even held a gun.

I have guns.

I never shot anyone because I got rejected.

It's not.

This is not to most people.

So the dear boys is like, hey, I'm a nice guy, but hey, boys, it's just that fucking bullshit of like, let me write something so patronizing and obvious and just condescending and send it out to like, are you not a guy?

Like, what do you mean, dear boys?

Like, guess what?

Most males don't fucking feel that way.

Most males fucking like skulk away in embarrassment and are like, all right.

Let me up my game or do something else or try again.

Almost

mass shooters, is that what they call these people?

Are

100% of the menu?

Oh, it's most men, so that's why it says dear boys.

It's mostly men, yeah.

But this is not most people's reaction to getting rejected.

So what is the point?

I don't understand the point of this tweet, and I don't understand what people are taking from it.

Like, I literally do not understand it.

Was that a famous person that's what I thought?

No, he's not famous.

It's

New York Times best-selling pseudonym for two rapscallions, writer and producer of The Expanse on an invention called TV.

I I don't know.

Writer and producer of The Expanse.

I guess that's a TV show.

I'm sure there's a large segment of the population though that has a hard time dealing with

rejection, right?

I've yet to meet the person that's like, oh, I just got rejected.

Do you want to hear all about it?

It was awesome.

Like, I've yet to hear that person.

Patton Oswald retweeted it.

I immediately unfollowed him.

I'm like, if this is the kind of, like, I fucking can't stand Twitter anymore.

I was never crazy about it to begin with, but it's the only way we can reach our people.

Yeah, but you have to, do you ever wonder why you are prone to be upset by it, though?

Because I am mentally ill.

I can look at it and I don't get mad.

Because it's just, it's the dripping fucking condescension as if he's so much better.

Like, let me educate you boys about rejection.

Guess what I did when I got rejected?

I didn't shoot someone, and that's what you should do.

It's like, guess what?

Most people, 99 point, and then give a billion nines on the end of that percent are not fucking shooting anyone because they got rejected.

And you're not going to reach the fucking guy that is going to do it.

They don't give a fuck what you think, fucking James S.A.

Corey, blue verified check mark contract.

I agree with him.

You agree with him.

But do you find yourself

getting

worked up?

Like he does?

Definitely.

Have you seen his tweets?

I don't know.

No, I don't.

I don't.

I don't follow him.

Some things with.

But what about Brian?

No,

you can relate to him being angry angry about reading.

The anger part, yeah.

But I disagree with some of the things Brian says, but I think that's because

it's where he lives.

It's where you like, you guys grew up in a suburban part of New Jersey.

So you weren't really necessarily exposed to a lot of diversity, or if any.

I think you would change your mind if you like.

You grew up in Brooklyn.

You'd be a little bit more liberal than you were.

And I consider you a liberal guy.

I think I'm pretty liberal.

I think I'm what people used to call liberal.

Now I'm a Nazi.

So, what is something that you disagreed with that you were like, well, if these guys had only grown up in Brooklyn, they wouldn't think like this.

What's something that we have said that you can point to and be like, well, it's because they grew up where they grew up.

Well, when you guys are.

As long as we get the pass, don't question it.

I think he's giving you the pass.

I don't think he's giving me the pass.

No, no, no.

You guys get the pass too.

But no, you totally get the pass.

But

I don't know, just some things that you guys say, it just seems like, all right, that's being growing up.

Is it a joke?

Yeah,

was it a joke that was made, or do you think, or are you compelling to a point where we made a point that was made that you were like, well, they wouldn't think that way if they didn't grow up where they grew up, or was it a joke that was made, an obvious joke, and well, they wouldn't have made that joke if they didn't, if they didn't grow up where they grew up?

I can't.

He's like, no, I'm talking about your true ignorance.

No, I can't recall, but this is the one thing I can recall, and where I think this has to do with where we're kind of in a close generation, what has to do with generational.

When we talk about like safe spaces and we make fun of it?

I agree with you with certain things with that too.

There's something about maybe getting bullied or whatever that kind of makes you tougher as an adult.

But also.

I don't know.

I'm not 100%.

Some people are tough enough and some people

live a life that of

the ramifications of being bullied throughout their whole childhood years and it affects them forever.

Well, it's also way different for people today.

It follows whoever you want to do social media.

Yeah, if you make it home alive, then you go on your Facebook account or Twitter or whatever, and somebody's like, hey, douchebag, and they're like, oh, there they are again.

It's like, Ry, why'd you

tweet that about me?

But

when we went to school, bullies were like, it was old school bullying where like...

where people were cornered and smacked around.

There was a bully in school that like, he didn't target us, but like the people he did target, oh, my God.

Physical harm.

Oh, just like that.

Like, beatings.

Yeah.

Beatings.

I saw him slash Ed's hand with an X-Acto knife one time in art class.

He's just like, he's, I watch the whole thing.

Like, you and Walt, like, if you're this guy, he just, he looks at Ed and he just says, like, and he just slashes his hand, and Ed goes, you suck.

And all this blood is pouring out of his hand.

Because it's like, the kid's a maniac.

He doesn't belong in school.

Well, they don't think.

I can't imagine those.

Well, you know, I guess in some schools they are.

They're still maniacs.

So

this shooter in Texas,

I read an article yesterday.

He targeted particular people.

Like it wasn't just random.

Everybody that he didn't like him, the girl that rejected him, and he just like he went he went after

certain people.

That's terrible.

Now we have kind of, well, I guess I know a lot of people, listeners think, some listeners, not all, think that you guys are

one side, you know, one side over the other, right?

You're very liberal.

You're You're liberal, but for some reason, you've been painted everywhere.

Label the conservative, yeah.

Because like I'm more of like a George Carlin liberal, which is unacceptable to people these days.

What is the answer to

the shootings in schools?

Send out more tweets like this guy.

Is there a real answer?

There's things that you couldn't do that'll minimize it.

First off, I wish this kid fucking killed his father, too, like the fucking wacko and Sandy Hook.

If you have guns, lock them the fuck up.

And if you have a kid who goes and does this, I was saying this earlier too.

There has to be a little something that's like, ah, they're not quite all there, but who knows what the fucking father steal is.

But if you have guns and you don't lock them up like that, father should be in prison.

Absolutely.

And that's one thing that you can do.

But what if he takes the keys?

The keys should not be within this kid.

The keys should be not within anyone's grasp but your own.

If that's your gun safe, you have the keys.

You have the combo.

nobody else does.

Certainly not your fucking

loser son who can't get a date.

Oh, I mean, he could have killed the father and got the keys and still did it.

I mean, he's going to, if you're going to do it, you're probably going to get to it.

He would have found it a different thing.

I don't think it's a good idea.

You can minimize it.

That was

one thing that Brian says.

What?

To charge the

owner of the guns?

So it would create people saying, well, I better make sure my shit's locked up tight.

So I don't want to be responsible if somebody steals

whatever, my keys to my gun case.

Do you think a lot of households,

guns are not lawful?

I don't know.

I don't own guns.

Yeah, me neither.

That's what I'm saying.

Is it commonplace to just

leave guns around?

Some cops tell me that they have guns under their tables, like planted in different areas of their house.

Like if there's like if they're held hostage in their house,

he has like under his table, like there'll be a gun there, like a little gun.

Like it's a betting parlor in Deadwood.

They'll have the shotgun on his table.

There's one guy.

I'm surprised that's not a law already, though.

They can't charge somebody for

I think if your kid gets hurt, they can.

Like if you have a child and your child shoots themselves and dies, then you can quickly send dangerously.

And then we passed a law that you can be charged if you don't take your refrigerator door off.

It's like a throwing refrigerator out.

Right.

You don't take the door off.

I can't imagine that you can't change, make a law that you can charge somebody who owns a gun if you don't have it locked up.

I feel like even the NRA could get behind that.

I mean, it's not that big of a deal to lock your shots.

You have to be 21 to buy buy an assault rifle, but you have to be 25 to rent a car.

Why not?

You just change the age to 25 to buy a gun.

How are you supposed to do drive-bys?

Yeah.

Exactly.

That's true.

You have to be 25 to rent a car.

To rent a car.

Should you have to go through a mental evaluation,

you just have to see

a state-governed psychologist, like you want to buy a gun, and you have to go through some of the things.

Take like an exam.

Yeah,

but then you get into, like, well, should you have to take an exam to vote?

Because a lot of people are dumb.

In fact, fact, most people are dumb.

So, like, I remember my grandmother, who I didn't really consider to be a dumb person, but telling me she was going to vote for George Bush because he was handsomer than the other guy, who I think was John Kerry.

And I'm like, all right.

But

you don't think that the looks matter in a presidential race?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Look at Trump.

He's not the most handsome guy ever.

But you don't think Kennedy had a lot of mojo in Cornell?

Kennedy had a lot of money.

Kennedy, I think, had the backing of the mafia.

But he had the

three-star looks.

He didn't need the mafia money.

His father was loaded.

Yeah, a guy who made it off through bootlegs.

Bootlegging, yeah.

Who was Bush running up against?

Why was he more?

Oh, then Gore.

It was Gore, yeah, Al Gore.

The later Bush.

Yeah, I was going to say, that's not really.

How could your grandma find one of those more handsome people?

No, it was the first Bush when he was voting.

He was going against John Kerry.

Do you, like what was saying earlier about your guy who you're like, he should not be allowed to hold office again?

What about guys like Marion Barry or Rob Ford, like these whacked-out drug addicts who have the support of the community and somehow like Marion Barry got caught with a crap and a crazy thing?

Isn't that just a disease?

Yeah, but

do you look at the black community?

You're not as liberal as I thought then.

I am liberal.

You would say to yourself, hey, man, they had a.

What are you talking about?

They had a problem.

Yeah.

This is not like, like, you know,

how would you want do you want drug addicts to be prisoned?

Are you for like longer jail sessions?

I'm going to search carefully.

No.

No, not at all.

So why then can a guy who's had a drug problem who's beat it like Marion Barry did?

If he beat it and he can just demonstrate that

he's

currently fit, well, at the time, whatever, fit to serve, yeah, absolutely.

Okay, but not the guy who held the

not a convicted fucking criminal.

But that's what Marion Berry was, though.

A felon?

Well, I believe he

was

a jingle with crash

and a prostitute.

I wouldn't vote for him.

But

you don't want to say he shouldn't have been able to not run, though, right?

I would hope that the people

would filter that out.

But he didn't matter.

He still won again, though.

And what was it, D.C.?

Is it the will of the people?

Who's D.C.?

Well, when he was in D.C., in office, D.C.

was a mess.

Is it not a mess?

I was there two weeks ago.

It was beautiful.

D.C.

was immaculate.

The streets were immaculate.

So in 1990, he was arrested with a former girlfriend.

He was.

Oh, okay.

I thought it was a prostitute.

I apologize to that.

Well, he was, I don't know.

She's like, what are you talking about?

Yeah, I don't want anybody to do that.

She was an FBI informant, and she invited him to the hotel room, insisted that he smoke free-based Coke before they had sex, while agents in another room watched on camera, waiting for Barry to accept her offer.

During the videotaped arrest, he says of her, Bitch, set me up.

I shouldn't have come up here, goddamn bitch.

I mean, true words were never spoken.

He got three felony counts of perjury, ten counts of drug possession, one misdemeanor count of conspiracy to possess Coke.

And then, you know, it's funny.

DC is, they decriminalize marijuana use there.

I mean, you can't, there's no stores yet, but two weeks ago when I was there, no sign of it anywhere.

I work in Manhattan every day.

It's everywhere.

You can smell it everywhere.

Is it decriminalized?

Not in Manhattan.

No, not yet.

But they want to do that.

But

that's the fucking least of their problems.

Totally.

Are you an advocate for

legalizing it?

Yeah,

not all drugs, but they should legalize marijuana and tax it and have that money go into fucking fixing the roads and shit like that so that it lowers the taxes of the taxpayer.

Okay.

What drugs would you draw the line at?

Heroin.

That's the only one.

Yeah, that's bad.

That's bad news.

Coke.

Yeah, it's no good either.

anything like man-made anything man-made

uh like psychedelics i guess are fine peyote peyote if you can find it in status it's in the desert right they still do a lot of rush out there rush what the fuck what is this what am i what i like jennifer jason lee

you remember rush

like in the 80s don't you remember in 1982 when me and walt were in eighth grade there's these little bottles of jet fuel Rush.

And it was called Rush.

What was in it?

It was a yellow little tiny bottle.

It was like a liquid.

I'm pretty sure it was like amyl nitrate, wasn't it?

It was, and it had like a little, and the H had a little lightning bolt on the end of it.

And it was.

Oh, my God.

And you would smell it for all, and you would go completely out of your mind for like two seconds.

There was yellow at Angel Dust and stuff.

What about Angel Dust?

Poppy said.

No legalized angel dust under your

administration.

No.

What about the little stickers?

Also in the 70s, I remember I was terrified of getting a sticker Mickey Mouse and licking it and and then like going on a trip.

On a trip?

Yeah.

He was licking toads, right?

Would you legalize the acid?

Yeah, it's fine.

Acid?

Absolutely.

LSA.

In micro-dosing,

it's actually not that bad for you.

It's never proven to be addictive, and it's not that bad for you.

Yeah.

What?

Just like LSD, yeah.

Wow.

So you guys are both here.

You're going to put the stamp of approval on legalizing LSD.

I'd say so.

I've never been high on pot.

Okay.

Nevis and that's

a revisionist.

I've smoked it, but I've never,

I must have smoked stuff because it did nothing to me.

It did nothing at all to change dirtweed.

And so I was just like, what is everybody talking about?

I feel exactly the same.

I think my body is immune to all drugs.

Yeah.

That's going to probably

be my downfall is when I get sick.

But no matter what I take, that doesn't really affect me in terms of drug use.

I wish you had said this when I had a bunch of pills and shit.

I would have given you something that would have definitely affected you.

I don't know.

I mean, I wouldn't have did it.

No, control.

He was nervous before going on stage one time, and I was like, do you want like half the Xanax?

He acted as if I were like, let me just fucking tie you off and shook you up broke.

He was like, he won your mom.

That would have made you feel perfect.

The poppers, though, Walt, that we used to, I remember very vividly being like in social studies class and just passing that around, be like, and smelling it, and your whole face would get red and flushed.

But what we didn't know at the time was that they have historically been used for sexual encounters among the youth, including the gay community.

I think that, like, yeah, we're lucky we don't suddenly just start sucking each other's dicks.

When you're having sex, why would you need

to

enhance it with that, though?

I agree.

It's good enough the way it is.

Why do you need then to also feel like you're not on this plane?

Let me ask you something.

You're about to have gay sex.

I need a ton of drugs to do that.

But if you're going to have it, though, that means you want to have it.

Right, right.

Yeah, I guess so.

So why?

So you may not need to medicate yourself to have it.

They supposedly have a relaxation effect on involuntary smooth muscles, such as those in the throat and anus.

So you can shove a bigger dick in your ass or throat.

We're going to do a little popper shopping after this.

Most widely used.

That was rush.

That would have been rush, yeah.

So our buttholes were all loose.

Social studies class and our throats.

But all

it was just a head rush, though.

That's all you really felt, right?

Well, I mean, we weren't aware that we could also be putting stuff in our rectum, though.

Yeah, I know.

I definitely would.

It was like a glorified stool softener.

It wouldn't have sounded otherwise.

Check it out.

I got half a globe in there.

I didn't realize that that was

the drug of choice in the gay community.

When I was in high school, they would.

Meth, Meth, I think, now is like the.

I think it always was, right?

Meth, yeah.

Yeah.

They used to dip, the kids would dip cigarettes in formaldehyde in science class, and they would smoke.

That's what they put dead frogs in, right?

Yeah, they would dip cigarettes in there and smoke.

That's crazy.

Would you do that?

No.

No.

What is the mindset of somebody who's like, I'm going to dip this cigarette in a chemical that preserves a dead creature?

I'm 16 years old and I live on Staten Island.

I mean, is it that bad?

Nah.

I mean, well,

when you're a kid, it is, I guess.

I mean, you guess you'll just do anything.

Yeah.

It's illiminable.

What it does is,

or what it will do to you, disorganize speech and thoughts, diminished attention,

agitation.

You know what?

I may have smoked weed with embalming fluid because that's everything I suffer from.

Is that embalming fluid?

What?

Formaldehyde.

Embalming embalming fluid.

Is that another name for embalming fluid?

I think so.

Maybe.

It's similar.

Similar, yeah.

I think it's similar.

Yeah, it looks like that's what it does.

It just fucks up your head and makes you feel all out of it.

Is it poisonous?

I would say so.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's such a small amount, and you're like vaporizing it or turning it into a smoke, you're not actually like sort of

it says the syndrome of this intoxication looks nearly identical to that seen following PCP use.

So basically, it's a cheap PCP or a more accessible PCP, maybe.

And how about going to school where it's like, hey, hey, kids, here's some embalming floater from L Daniel.

That was like 25 years ago.

Yeah, I don't know.

Probably not anymore.

Yeah, maybe not.

I don't know.

I mean, they probably still do dissection, right?

Yeah, but maybe it's like a different fluid they use.

It's less toxic.

A lot of listeners don't know this about you.

Maybe you talk about it online, though, but you're a Disney hallic, right?

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that, Brian?

I didn't know it until recently, where every time I look at your instagram it's either acrylic paintings or you in florida yeah

right well i what do you call i went to florida um

like a month or two ago for work and it was it was in orlando and uh of course i stopped by disney

so you get uh you you love to to immerse yourself in the disney universe i do what is it about it that uh it's the first time i went there i was four um

and my family was fortunate enough to go i guess like every year when I was a kid,

like Easter vacation, summer vacation.

Sometimes we would go twice a year.

My family eventually bought a home in

Tampa, Florida, when I was a kid.

So we would go to, we'd spend like a week by Tampa, then we'd spend another week in Orlando and Disney.

And it just became like it was like a family tradition.

So I'm trying to do that for my kid.

So how many times have you and your kid gone to Disney?

Me and the kid,

she's seven.

She's been to Disney World

probably

six times.

Wow.

There's a lot of kids.

And we're going to Disneyland.

And you never get to see it.

We're going to go to California and LA to Disneyland this year.

Let me see that.

I'll post it on Instagram.

She looks like a real guard, like the way she's holding it.

What's your favorite all-time Disney movie?

Song of the South.

Come on, baby.

I don't know.

There's got to be one go-to.

There's no one go-to?

There's a lot.

Well, Clerks was a Disney movie.

Disney Hall

doesn't have

an immediate response to what's your favorite Disney movie?

Not me.

Disney character?

Character.

Holy shit.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't have a favorite.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't know if you love Disney as much as I do.

I do.

I'm a shareholder of their stock.

My name's in the fucking ground in the Magic Kingdom, my family.

I've been there so many times.

How can you not?

But like, that's like, if you're into comic books, you're not going to be able to do it.

I mean,

are you going to count Star Wars Lucasfilm stuff as Disney?

No,

you know what it's going to do.

Do you count that?

I do, now.

You count that now?

Of course.

That's just like acquired.

Hold on a second.

You're an artist, so you can understand this.

If you made something

that was bought by them or you worked for them, wouldn't that be it would live forever?

Like Star Wars was going to live forever without Disney?

Disney's come in and ruined Star Wars.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Aren't they rewriting Lando's?

They got the rides, they got this and that.

Yeah, they got the rights as a meeting.

The rides, like,

they make them out of a park.

This Star Wars

parks.

They are ruining Disney.

Way more than Lucas ever did with his picture.

Are they ruining Marvel, too?

No.

Why is that?

Well, the last movie was Killer, but the last two Star Wars movies

were not good.

This is the kind of shit, too, that it's just like, I haven't seen like, I haven't seen it.

I didn't see Black Panther yet.

I didn't see Infinity Wars, and I didn't see it.

There's nothing wrong with the Marvel Universe, but I believe the Marvel Universe, the studios, at least, the Marvel Studios was up and running

before they were acquired by Disney, right?

So they've kind of just like,

but man, I don't know how you, I don't know, like, to me, it's like, it's like Disney's this, like, blob.

Like, you can't kill it.

You can't destroy it.

They're going to acquire

everything at this point.

And they're going to,

you know, potentially ruin, I think, if Star Wars has any indication, all these

brands.

A billion dollars every time.

Yeah, I understand that, but

just because it made money doesn't mean it's.

Well, this kind of stuff hurts Star Wars.

Star Wars character Lando Kelrissian is pansexual, and I couldn't be happier.

When it comes to representation in a galaxy far, far away, it's good to know Lando sees beyond gender.

What's pansexual?

It's like you'll fuck anything.

It doesn't matter.

You're like on a permanent pauper high.

Okay, so that, would people, so if somebody fucks like an animal in our world, the real world, are they considered pansexual?

You better not shame them.

Well, it's against the law.

Right.

Or if you fuck like a relative, like a blood relative, that's against the law.

No, no.

Well, that's

in the human race, but like these, like in Tijuana, are there a whole bunch of pansexuals down here?

Fucking donkeys and shit?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Does a donkey show exist?

I thought that was still

out.

The jury was still out on that, if it really actually exists.

Oh, that's a myth?

I don't.

You talking to me?

We've got to make a movie about it.

I like how Lodonda comes in and he's automatically like, how do you test for weed if somebody's driving you?

He's a smart guy, though.

He is a smart guy.

He's very up-to-date on all his current events and everything.

I work in a college, so I got to be up to date with everything.

But does pansexual bother you?

Does this kind of stuff annoy you that it's like the because pansexual or like even transsexual, transgender, whatever, which I'm not against at all, but it is not super common.

That's why it's not on the tip of

everyone's tongue in

the regular United States.

Like the community at large, you know, you don't see

you.

Does it make you angry, though?

I don't give a breath.

This kind of stuff?

Yeah, don't worry.

Well, the Han Solo thing,

the Lando Cal Rician doesn't annoy you.

I already don't give a fuck about Star Wars enough that this doesn't matter.

Do you think this is a cop-out on Disney's part by doing this?

Making him pansexual?

Was that Donald Glover that said that?

I guess

he's

a lady who wrote it.

Is this a cop-out?

Saying, like,

he'll have a relationship with an alien, too, so that makes him pansexual.

If they really wanted to go

to embrace

the gay community, why wouldn't they just make Lando and Han Solo a couple at the beginning of the movie then?

Interesting.

Right?

If they really want to go full boar and make it

really shatter, and then I'd be like, okay, Disney, now you're taking chances.

Because otherwise, all you're doing is just like

you're trying to make this

checklist that they have for the Star Wars movies.

Check, check, check, check, check before they release it.

Well,

we have to have all these things in line

before we release it, or else the internet will go crazy.

I want to see R2D2 sucking some cop on screen, and and then I'll be happy.

I thought you were a Disney fan, too.

Like, you go to the bars.

I am not a Disney fan in terms of how they're just, like I said, they're just grabbing everything.

Everything at a certain point is going to be owned by Disney.

I don't think so.

I think they're trying to be competitive because it's more of a steamboat willy kind of thing.

I mean,

they're going to be, they're almost too powerful right now.

They're competing with all these online

social platforms like Netflix, which they're doing doing their own Netflix type of thing sooner

but how

Comcast is doing the same thing they own Universal Pictures so they're all doing the same shit does it is it right now no I mean

all kidding aside though it is kind of a Disney is

it's an amazing theme park yeah it is like it's it's unlike anything all over the world and

but if you go seven times in seven years do you still get the payment you're crazier than a fucking racist either do you still get the jolt The last time I was there, I'll be honest with you.

It's diminishing returns.

It's got to be.

It's got to be right.

I went there, you know, I was at a conference for work, and like when I wasn't at the conference, I would go to the park, and I was like, Let's get the fuck out of here.

I was there, let's go.

I've seen it.

We're going to have like two hours, three hours.

I was like, I spent a lot of money.

I'm like, yeah, let's just go.

Let's just go.

I'm tired.

He was attacked by someone dressed as Lando Keller.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you need to, do you need to take a break?

Like, Kyle?

I didn't go with my kids, though.

I didn't go with my daughter or my wife.

I took my dad with me.

Okay.

Edgar and Brian, Disney were all the people.

That would be great.

That's a podcast.

Two men able to completely neutralize the vocal.

That'd be amazing.

Just waiting in a fucking line that took two hours.

You wouldn't watch that, like, a short time drama.

Clouds just roll in.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time since the last hurricane.

In the podcast.

What would be how long,

like if you had to lay money, how long could Edgar last you were like, let's go?

I'd say less than.

No, you know what?

He likes Disney a lot.

He does.

Yeah, he does like Disney.

Now, would he like it with me?

Just you and him?

Less than an hour.

Less than an hour.

Yeah.

His first son.

He's getting bag checked.

He could only spend an hour.

He's like my first son.

Let me see what the other two are doing.

I don't want to do this shit.

Yeah, I think it would just be weird.

I'm like, let's go on rides.

Like, did I have an accident that turned me soft-headed where I'm like, no, you're just like, Dad,

I know

I got for your birthday this year.

I got two tickets.

It's a plane ticket to Orlando.

Me and you are going to do Disney.

Like we never did, like when I was a kid.

Like we never did it at all, ever.

Just me and you, I guess, you know, for Father's Day next year.

He would, like, if I were him, I would be like, this is a setup.

Like, I would check my insurance.

Like, there's just no way it would be so foreign.

I don't even think I'd be like, hey, do you want to go out to dinner?

Let alone, hey, do you want to go to a different state and spend like a couple of days at a theme park?

No, just one day.

He would be like, he would think I was dying, probably, and I just wasn't saying anything.

And like, these are certain things I wanted to do before I died.

There would be no other rational explanation.

I mean, that's sad, though, because you're sitting next to a guy that him and his dad.

That's so old.

I think that's crazier

than Edgar being like, yes,

but it's so goddamn sweet, though.

That, like, how old are you?

Uh, I'll be 41.

41-year-old man and his father

spent coolest guys in the park.

Yeah, we didn't look at all like fucking predators,

definitely.

Yeah, what do you think about that one?

I would love to do it, man, because, like, um,

but it's never going to happen with me and my father.

No.

No, but so I envy you.

I wish that I could say, you know,

because you don't know, you know, you don't know until next time you and your dad will be in a park together alone.

Exactly.

That's what we kind of like, we walked around like, this could be it.

This can be it.

I'm like,

it's been two hours.

Get the fuck out of here.

How do you feel?

How do you feel?

Feel good?

We've seen it.

So the castle, get the picture.

Are you ready?

It's one of the folks.

We went to three because I can go to the three.

We went to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and Hollywood Studios.

I love Epcot.

By the third day, I'm like,

so you went and spent three days together?

No, no.

The first day,

I checked in the hotel.

We went to Disney Springs, which is the shopping area.

I walked around there.

I was like, oh, this is not crowded.

That's the only part that's tolerable.

We walked around.

I was like, oh, this is great.

Nobody's here.

This might be good.

We might be going on a lot of rides this week then.

And then the next day,

we go to Magic Canada.

I've never said that sentence.

I know,

we're going to hit so many foreigners.

We'll talk about it.

I mean, like, I haven't spoken.

I don't even know if my dad's alive.

Yeah.

Let alone, I'd like to see.

Neither do I.

I just saw him like an hour ago.

And you sit here and to hear this.

Well, this is why.

A couple of months prior to this trip, my parents went.

with my sister and my nephew to Florida, to that house in Florida.

Second day in the trip, my mom falls in a storm, breaks her femur bone.

So she was there.

They were there for like almost two months.

So like ruined everybody's vacation, whatever.

So I was like, you know what, dad, when I'm going to a conference, why don't you come with me?

So I'll make up for, you know,

he had a wild race.

He's just as into Disney as you.

Yeah.

He's sitting down and asking his favorite movie.

Would he have an answer at least?

Did you like live-action Disney stuff?

Like Escape to Witch Mountain.

Oh, yeah.

Right?

Oh, yeah.

I like that stuff better.

Yeah, I like the live action stuff.

But just to go back to this, think how

beyond the pale, like how we can't identify.

Like, you can't picture

doing that with your phone.

Inconceivable.

And

do I feel like

I am robbed of something

that

I wish I could do, like Chris did?

Does anybody have contact with you, Don?

It didn't seem like it was that.

Oh, it would be a nightmare.

Like, I haven't seen him in 30 years, and now I'm going to be able to do it.

Let's beat it this way.

I still think we'd beat an hour now between you and Edgar.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I mean,

God, I hope when Mike, one of my daughters are, how old are you?

I'll be 41.

When they're 41, I would pray that one that there's an opportunity for just my daughter and I.

I'm sure there will be.

I hope that happens,

it would be nice.

So, wait,

so Alicia's 15.

Yeah.

So, say 30 years from now, you're 80.

How old's your dad?

How old are you?

My dad is 69.

69 next month.

Oh, an 80-year-old me in Disney with my 45-year-olds.

You'll be a fucking liability in that fucking chair and the jazzy getting you around.

Yeah.

Like, oh, we brought this fucking.

I really hope that that happens.

Yeah, it'll happen.

What the hell?

I don't know why you're so confident in that.

You're taking him as an authority on everything else.

Why not find out?

It will happen.

So when do you think you'll, well, how long do you have to stay away from Disney to get to, to build up the...

Well, I go every year.

I'm going in July.

I'm going to L.A.

for the first time.

I'm going to go to Disneyland.

Okay, so this will be definitely different.

This will be exciting, though.

Yeah, I'm looking forward forward to it.

Yeah.

Now, you're not one of those psychopaths that has a pin on and covers every inch of their fabric and their body.

You mean like an IJ fan?

Like an IJ fan?

All those people, I look at every single one of those people.

I'm like, that person's a fucking IJ fan.

There's no doubt.

There's no doubt.

I'm like,

do I name drop right now on this line on the fucking teacups?

Be like, you know, watch, you know, over here in Brian Green.

You know what I'm talking about?

The guys who like, they have a baseball cap on, they have a t-shirt on, on, and they have shorts on.

They have like a vest over it.

And it looks like they're entirely covered in a pin.

They trade pins.

You know, it's a thing?

Yeah, I know.

Like,

so if you go to the stores there, there's like wall.

I'm like, what is this?

And there's like walls of like these portfolios for pins that they sell.

You're not into that, huh?

Absolutely not.

Do you feel like you're missing this other thing?

There'll be another added aspect of your Disney

experience.

Nah, I'm old school business.

I've been going there since 82.

So I'm like, I'm old school.

There were pins back then.

Yeah, but not like that.

They didn't do that shit.

When I went down with Troy,

his kids went to a Walmart and just bought the pins.

It was like $15 at Disney, but like.

No, I don't think you know what we're talking about.

These are collective pins.

Yeah,

they're like pins of the characters.

And they're at Walmart.

Yeah, they had a bunch of them.

They're unlicensed pins, you mean?

I think they were licensed.

They were in Orlando.

You could.

We'll ask Troy when he comes

if they were licensed or not.

I wasn't like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Is this sanctioned?

Why is a policeman

buying unlicensed pins for his kids?

It's not like he was like, hey, you know where I can get some poppers for the kids.

It's like, the reason he's doing it is because it's cheaper.

Yeah, but it's not the sanctioned

Walt Disney pin people.

If they will not buy anywhere but Disney, they wouldn't go to the business.

Yeah, yeah.

But these are kids who are like not going to give a fuck an hour later.

The hardcore Disney people, like, they run out of fabric.

They're like, I guess I'll just pin them to my skin.

It looks like chain mount.

Like a knight.

You know, and like, I consider myself like you know like a big Disney fan and then when I'm online with these people like you know the pin people that are next to me it's like I have

in a no like a forum do you look down on the pin people I look at them I'm like

you got to be fucking like I yeah then I that's not who I am I'm not a pin person so it's like this person or aren't they just a little bit more excited about Disney

I guess it's a good thing I guess it's a good thing but they you know they it's so harmless but you can't help but judge them like what the fuck's the matter with you I judge people Here's the thing, too, with Disney: it's so it's gotten really crazy expensive to the point where it's just not fair that

everybody that goes it has to be like upper middle class or rich, or you save for like five years, or you can do that, or they save for five years.

Or put it all on credit cards, or you do it on credit card

10 years paying off that Disney fund.

Or you like, you know, you take your kids' college fund and spend it like you go on the IJ cruise with you.

Will you cheat?

Spend it, spend your kids' college fund.

Will you cheat on Disney and go to Universal?

I was at Universal once in 1991.

That was the last time I was there.

Disney found out never for them.

You are kidding me.

I haven't been there since they opened Universal in Florida.

Which is confusing.

You're constantly in Florida and you haven't felt a need to.

And my wife will sometimes say, Want to go to Universal?

I'm like, no.

Are you crazy?

You can't go.

Universal is way better.

No way.

Way better.

It's way better.

It's warm.

It's not so kid-friendly.

It's for like 20-year-olds.

And sexuals everywhere.

This is for like dudes.

Universal is a dude park.

Disney is what do you call it?

Hold on.

Why do I want to go?

Magic King is basically

for little kids.

Magic King though.

The dude park is universal.

They're building a Star Wars park in Hollywood Studios.

I understand, but

are you going to go to that or you're like, I can't fucking go?

Yeah, I'll go to that.

They ruined it.

But I don't understand the mindset of somebody who's in Disney all the time.

I mean, in Florida all the time.

It's not like, I want to see.

Those rides are amazing.

Are they?

In Universal?

I mean, they're security.

You were just there, right?

Did you go on the Pandora ride

in Animal Kingdom in Disney?

No.

Go on that ride.

Is that new?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

That might be.

It's amazing.

I went on that ride under protest because it was like the park was about to close.

It was a three-hour wait.

My wife's like, come on, we're here.

Let's just wait.

I'm like, all right.

So we waited three hours.

I went on that ride.

It was probably the best ride I was ever on in my life.

And I was thinking to myself, these are how these new rides are going to be now.

It was so high-tech.

You're versed in it.

Oh,

it's kind of like a flight simulator, but it's different.

They sprayed water on you.

Universal's has been doing that for years.

No, no, but this is the kids.

No, no, no.

This is better.

Virtual reality, you're like the air, the water.

It was nuts.

Because there's a ride kind of similar called Soaring.

You've been on that in Epcot?

Soaring is

nothing compared to it.

It's like Mr.

Toad's ride compared to what's at Universal.

Well, compared to the Pandora ride, that ride, unfucking believable.

It's like something from 1950.

Yeah.

Soaring.

Basic, yes.

But I'm telling you, you will love Universal.

I'm sure.

But, you know.

But it's not Disney.

I'm spending the money on Disney.

And then what about Disney?

And Disney inevitably acquires Universal

and makes a

part of their theme park experience of what you attend that.

Of course, absolutely.

That'll be awesome.

Yeah.

You brought a game?

Yeah, so I was listening to,

well, first when Walt asked me to be honest,

I got to do something.

Well, we can fill in the shoes, though.

Hold on a second.

So

homosexuality defined as being attracted to the same gender.

Bisexuality defined as being sexually attracted to both men and women.

Pansexuality, you're attracted to all gender identities or an attraction to people regardless of their

gender or gender identity.

What is the difference between that and bisexuality?

What's bestiality then?

No.

I agree.

What's bestiality when you have sex with that?

I know what it means, but what's it called now?

Because that's such a horrible name.

It is.

You've got to clean that name up if you're going to make it.

Yeah, if you want to make it respectable to fuck a dog.

Like bestiality, it just sounds so horrific.

Right.

You know, if you make it like

something a little bit more gentler.

Yeah.

What do you do?

Nothing gentler than fucking an animal, defenseless creature.

Yeah, it's like, I don't want want to do this.

Basically, you're a rapist.

It's hard to clean up that image.

Well, I thought in this world where

sexuality shouldn't be demonized of any kind, I would say.

Even fucking animals?

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

That's what I used to do.

You don't know.

That's what we're going to do.

We're moving towards, though, aren't we?

But he wants to be woke.

He wants to be excited.

We're moving towards a world where

there are no judgments on

sexuality.

Other than, obviously, the obvious children.

So a dog is seven years.

A one-year-old dog is seven years in dog age.

So like, what if...

Well, you gotta wait till the dog is at least three years old.

So you're gonna get to 21?

Three-year-old dog.

What if I want to blow a hedgehog?

I don't know.

Do all animals age at different levels?

No, I don't think so.

Let's say, like, you have, let's say you're really into, like, possums.

Right.

I see one's in my fucking yard all the time.

Always, it looks so succulent.

Totally flirting with me.

That pink tail just curls.

Yeah, he's like waving it at you.

That hiss.

That come hither.

Those lifeless eyes.

Do they age at a different rate than humans?

Should I skip them?

We're about to find out.

Yeah, he'll talk some bullshit.

Are dogs the only animals that have this rate of this bizarre rate of seven years for

you?

Do you think that was just all bullshit that happened?

Yeah, like somebody said that.

They're like, hey, you know what?

Why not cats?

Yeah, I don't know because they all die around.

Like, everybody says dog ears.

We're very familiar with the term dog years, but no other years, animal years.

Well, why is that Christian?

So people say, like, if you leave a dog locked in a cage for like a day, that's like eternity to them or something.

Like, if you go, if you

have a house, you put your dog in a cage, you're in its crate, you lock it for a while.

Yeah, I crated my dogs when they're puppies.

When they're puppies, but like, if you like, leave them in there a long period of time, it seems like eternity for them.

Well, until they learned the rules, now they have free run of the house 24-7.

But I don't see it being cruel to create an animal until it learns that the house broke.

It's crueler to sit on a fucking couch that has piss all over it, as far as I'm concerned.

It's between that and the dog being like, wow, it feels like I'm in prison for life.

But going back to what you were saying about your game, though, when I asked you to come on and you said, Do you mind if I bring a game?

I was super excited because,

a

i asked meng to come on no game no game frank five he doesn't need a game frank five was excellent um

i didn't feel i didn't feel you needed to bring a game either but i was still excited to to hear that you were going well i was going to take a one homework into this i was going to say oh i did a lot of homework into this one uh

so i i wanted to create like a character like i wanted to play the game and do something to make the game spruce it up.

So as you know, I've been messing messing around with acrylic paints lately oh i know you know that you know i've seen that on

yeah he's selling his art yeah really yeah you when did you uh become a painter like uh like three weeks ago three weeks ago did you always like to paint no never painted in my life like three weeks ago and i sold about 12 paintings so far get out of here for how much have you made on your paintings uh

altogether under a thousand bucks so just on

you know that's really good who's buying these paintings um ij fans

No, like aunts, some people, like, you know, some friends.

Really?

What artists have influenced you?

Grandma Moses?

Not at all.

This is one of your paintings?

Yeah.

It reminds me of the cover of the Metallica Load.

That actually reminds me of Westworld.

It reminds me of a load I saw in the Metro at Disney.

Is this a table?

That's right.

I lived it there.

That's a table I did.

I'm making it into a table.

Is that the moon right there?

It can be whatever you see it is.

It looks like the moon with bats flying in front of it.

There you go.

Oh, I didn't really, you're really good at this.

Well, thank you.

It's not really that.

Can you do a lot of it?

How much would you charge me for an original?

The original for an 8x10 is like 40 bucks plus shipping.

And then like 16x20.

It's not enough for me, though.

85%.

I'll hang it at the stash.

$150 for a $16 16 by 20.

Can you do a wall?

No.

No.

Because it's fluid painting.

I have to move the paint around unless you want to chop it.

What does fluid painting mean?

It's pour painting, is another way.

So you're mixing all different acrylics, you're putting in chemicals like floatural.

Not formaldehyde?

Not formaldehyde.

Anal nitrate.

I butt wall loose.

Let's put a paintbrush in it.

Get to work.

You pour it on a canvas.

You use a torch.

Is this um helpful in uh relaxing or does it do anything for you, Zen voice?

It does.

It does definitely calm me.

Really?

Are you an agitated person?

What do you don't you think so?

No, you seem very low.

You always seem low.

Low key, low energy.

Yeah, low energy would be good.

It's like, do you want so does painting make you less energy or bring energy up?

No, it definitely

makes me less homosex.

It stops me from buying the AR-14.

Should I undermine his confidence by getting paid to sage some paints?

I don't know.

It's not a difficult thing to do.

It's a little chemistry involved in it.

But in all seriousness, would you recommend painting to people who, as a form of...

Therapeutic?

Yeah, that's a good word.

Could I recommend to Ants?

My new line of painting.

Yeah, and also,

where can someone buy these original Chris Lagondo?

Follow me on Twitter if you dare.

What's your Twitter handle?

Chris underscore L-A-U-D-A-N-D-O.

And is there somewhere we could see like a

calorie of your work?

Or on Instagram.

Will there be an exhibition anywhere?

No, they all sell out.

I don't have any original.

I got like everyone.

I have three that I kept for myself.

Have you considered making it a full-time

job?

No.

You have a job where I get free health care.

Where I get to school.

Yeah, but you're an artist, though.

No.

An artist should like to be a business.

I'm a hobbyist or a baby.

I'm a hobbyist.

But I recommend there are are two ants that do the same similar style.

Right.

Could I get a bunch of them?

Aren't they competing with the Chris Ledondo collection?

So that's okay, though, but they deserve more recognition than I do.

So the first guy is, his name's Benjamin.

I think he actually won

Benjamin Moore.

No, Benjamin Moore, yeah.

That's the paint I use.

Oh, it's my dude.

Grizzly underscore Douglas.

Check his workout.

Good stuff.

Good stuff.

Yeah.

And also Bill, hold on.

Sorry.

Bill LaRue.

B-I-L-L-A.

L-A-R-U-E.

He's been doing it too.

Excellent stuff.

Here, check out what he does.

That's my.

It's abstract.

Are you like the Andy Warhol of these guys?

Like, you're

selling all your shit.

They're still.

They're selling their stuff, I'm sure.

When you sit down and paint, do you ever go to places,

the dark aspects in the corners of your mind, and like bring out some real traumatic shit.

Well, I'm in my basement, so it's pretty dark.

But so, wait, let me explain.

You know what I know?

Emotionally, though, like emotionally, do you bring any, do you get like, do you go to places that like doors that are locked inside your head?

Not at all.

Do you get

a picture of it?

Maybe.

I paint a picture of it.

With that,

when I came up with the game,

I wanted to make like a little backstory to it.

Ridiculous.

So

I was going to come.

I was

like selling art.

It's amazing.

Yeah, no.

What I was going to say is, like, you know,

something happened when I was making one of these pictures.

I don't know if acrylic paints are,

you know,

poisonous or whatever.

I would pass out.

I was going to make up this whole story where I pass out.

And when I'd wake up, like, there would be rap lyrics around me.

And I would become this persona, MC acrylic.

And

I would have a rap, and this, that.

I bought a grill, all this stuff.

This new character I was going to introduce to Tesla.

I was going to make some ribs because you're a rapper.

I was going to make some what?

With the grill.

No, the grill that you put in your mouth.

And also to play this game.

But you really,

I think it's a good idea to create.

Like, I'm not, look, I've created a character for myself too.

Hey, me too.

Yeah, and so I'm not.

I'm not opposed to people.

I actually think it's cool and everything.

But you should have did it

out and did it as all your paintings were done by your persona.

That's as MC Acrylic?

Yeah.

A.K.A.

Infected Pussy.

From the Puntang clan?

Yeah.

Now it's

at everything.

That's an Infected Pussy.

Infected Pussy was like, you know, what else?

My rhymes are like AIDS, they ill.

So do you have one of your raps here?

I do the intro, but...

See, you could have the rap and painter.

Anyway,

what about the rap?

Can I hear just one of the things?

You're not doing it because you said you're not feeling well.

Oh, yeah, feeling well.

So, you can't even rap?

I'll rap it.

I'll read it.

Infected pussy.

But literally,

HIV pussy.

I don't have a virus.

I'm not saying

it's like diabetes.

So the character was going to say, yo, I'm about to switch things up like a transsexual.

Two of these tweets ain't like the other.

Step off, little bitch, before I put two in your mother.

You're about to get shocked with my shaga.

It may not be politically correct, but I'm fully erect in full effect.

Now, all the ants on the anthill get up on your feet while I whip out my birdie with one true tweet.

So that's the name of the game: one true tweet.

One true tweet.

Okay, so in that rap, you insulted transsexuals.

I did.

And who else?

i think the whole

rapper is very unworthy all anybody in the rap world

you can say anything you want right to me

exactly you can't get away with that who the pinball twin you can't get away like if i said something really

beyond the pale as the baronet i couldn't i could not use that as a no because you haven't that's not the character the character just gives facts and shit as soon as you were like you want a racist diatribe yeah i think you're probably i don't think i could i don't think they would you don't get the past they would they wouldn't like look as like put that aside.

Well, at least it wasn't Walt that said that.

I would.

I would feel that way.

I feel like I never see that shit.

All right.

So you created a game, but I still

wish that you were feeling a little bit better, that you could have delivered that in costume.

I know.

Me too.

But you brought a game, and it's called Run One Twitter.

True, True Tweet.

Okay, it sounds a little bit like One Truth Re Tweet.

Absolutely.

That's okay.

Everybody's stealing anything.

Is there anyone anymore who is not playing True Tweet in a lie?

Anyone?

Every time you fucking turn around, someone else is playing it.

Right.

I haven't seen, you know what, though, to be fair, though, I haven't seen anybody steal dyslexia yet, though.

No, that's safe.

No one is taking it.

I'm waiting for the first person that tries, and I am going to go fucking ape shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to.

I let a lot of things slide.

You know, TSD makes, the world takes.

I kind of, you know, said that in jest.

But the first person, the first organization that I see try to appropriate dyslexia,

I'm going to fucking

bring a world of hurt upon them if they try to, if I see someone try to

realize that.

Yeah, like Jimmy Fallon's like, eh, eh, eh, they're going to play dyslexia.

No, they wouldn't call it that.

No, they wouldn't call it that.

No.

It was a listener who said it didn't, but like he, he said he thinks the game, if it was named antonyms,

he thinks it would really take off.

And I'm considering

changing it this week to antonyms.

Right.

You gave it a fair run for like a year, maybe longer, with a name that no network would ever touch in a million years.

All right.

So, but Chris, you've come up with a game and you want to play it now.

Sure.

How do you have it?

So basically, is it me against Bry?

Yeah, it'll have to be you against Bry.

It's the first time we've ever gone head-to-head at a game, I think.

Yeah, thanks for being the host.

All right.

I'm ready to

very very competitive.

So, this is games that are.

I want to win this.

I could give a fucking game.

I was out to dinner with

my daughters the other night, and there was a basketball game that he put a dollar in.

Issue baskets.

And I was shamed by my brother-in-law when he came over and saw the score that I had crushed her 85 to 15.

And he was like, Why do you take it easy on her?

I was like, Well, I mean, it's not in my nature.

I can't, even though, you know, even though it's my daughter and I love her to death, I mean, we're playing competitive competitive games.

She'll be here.

I'm going to destroy her if I'm a better player.

I feel the same way about Sage.

I don't know why that is.

Why is that?

Am I just too competitive?

Am I too insecure?

I find you.

No, I don't think you're insecure.

I've always found you to be a competitive person, though.

But what's wrong with that?

What's wrong with not wanting to lose something?

I mean, I don't know if you have to barrier, but you're just.

Should I have talked trash?

That's happened a couple of times when we've played something, like video games, because I'm not good at video games.

I'll get so upset when Cheek schools me on video games.

Yeah, I don't even have to be schooled by anyone.

I destroy stuff.

I'm like, I'm never playing this fucking game again.

I've said it no less than 25 times.

All right, so

I am going to treat this as if it's a Super Bowl, World Series, Sale Cup finals.

I want to destroy Brian Johnson on this.

All right, fair enough.

So the categories.

So, all right, so basically,

How's that taste?

That was always the best.

I always thought that was what I think it was Shaq.

Shaq said, eat my ass, Kobe.

How's my ass taste?

It was great.

People got upset, but it was great.

Who got upset?

Like the people who liked Kobe.

Also, Kobe camp.

Yeah, there were a certain number of people who were like, oh, look, cool, blah, blah, blah.

I was like, I thought it was a pretty funny line.

These are professional athletes.

They are competitive to a point where you can't even identify with them.

Professional athletes, they're also fucking guys.

They're just guys who are like, eat my ass.

Yeah, not literally, he didn't mean it.

It was like, it was about.

This isn't the Star Wars universe.

This ain't Lando Calarissi.

This is Shaq.

Shaq, we're talking about.

So basically, the greatest.

I'm just getting annoyed.

With the respect that you thought about it.

No, no, no.

No respect.

I'm not counting on any respect.

Now, will this game, can we have this and the TSD?

Can TSD now own?

If you want,

you can play it

without you being here.

Yes.

Okay.

Which will probably be better.

Okay.

So the idea is you pick a Tel I'm Steve Dave Town resident.

There's three

tweets that are connected to them.

One of them is true.

Two of them are not.

So you have to guess which one is the correct tweet to the character.

Okay.

Like, for example, let's say groundbreaking.

I get it.

No, I'm just thinking that, like, I may know these people or may recognize them.

You may.

You are at an advantage, which is fine.

You need a handicap.

I do.

I know.

Otherwise, I'll be eaten out.

So

there was a bunch that were made, but we broke it down.

How many rounds are there?

That's all I want to know first.

That's 39.

There's a lot.

How many rounds can we play here?

Well,

you can play two rounds, well, two

sets of tweets per Tesde Town resident.

And today we have Declan Quinn, Frank Five, Brian Quinn, Father Lance, and Jay Sarge.

Okay, so how many residents is that?

Who am I?

Fucking math major.

Two tweets.

Fuck tall people.

I know it's Jay Sarge.

So Quinn, Declan Quinn, Frank Five, Brian Quinn,

and Father Lance.

So five, right?

Five.

And each one, you have two.

I have two for each.

Two seven.

Ten rounds.

We don't have to.

I'm saying you don't have to.

There's a lot more than that.

Let's pick a round here.

What do you want?

Play the play of

five rounds?

Sure.

Five rounds, so each person gets a round.

And the best.

So what do you want to do?

Each person.

Let's do seven rounds.

Best four.

First,

like a championship series.

First team gets the four wins.

Would you want to take scores?

Can you keep the score here?

Yeah.

Do you have a, yeah, make some brackets.

Don't

like try to throw the game so Brian wins.

Okay, so.

I won't stand for it.

So who wants to go first?

Bill no.

Let's flip a coin.

Yeah, I got a coin?

Yeah, I got a coin.

What's with you guys adding R's unnecessarily?

Idea.

Idea.

Yeah, it's like I heard it a couple of times.

Yeah.

Yeah, what is it?

It's a little bit in the the air, Brian.

Okay.

Heads.

Heads.

You go first.

Okay.

I'll let you pick who you want to start with.

We got Declan Quinn.

No, no, no, no.

Don't

just do a random.

Okay.

Just close your eyes and pick one.

He already took this game over.

It's already what it is then.

That's why I know who he follows.

I'll get it all wrong.

Okay.

I know who he follows.

Okay, but I follow all those guys.

Yeah, but I know who you're more apt to pay attention to.

I know you ain't paying attention to Declan's tweets.

I know for a fact.

He's not?

You're probably unfollowing.

You use that app to unfollow him in the middle.

Okay.

We'll go with Declan then for the first one.

You're a spam bottom.

Sorry.

I mean, I see him tweeting about cats and shit.

I'm just like,

who the fuck follows this guy?

All they want to hear is what TSD is dropping.

They don't care about this cat.

Exactly.

So, with that, we'll start with Declan.

First tweet:

My cat has AIDS.

Never thought it was gay.

My cat has AIDS, never thought it was gay.

Okay, second tweet,

walking back from the pharmacy, and I think the meds are already kicking in.

Hashtag no filter.

Third tweet, Creaky is going to do what Creaky does.

Now you have to pick which to write.

As a person who's run some games and

you're fucking this off.

You're fucking this off.

No, your energy level is so.

I mean, you basically are like,

I don't feel good.

Okay.

I don't feel well.

I told you.

I got a headache.

I feel like shit.

I feel fucking terrible.

I almost fell asleep on the God of State Parkway driving down here.

We don't want everybody to fall asleep.

Just don't drive.

When we listen to this.

I'm like, Good night, Luna.

Shouldn't you?

Oh, my God.

That was great.

All right.

All right, I'll jazz it up.

I'll jazz it up.

I'll jazz it up.

I'll make believe it's a roast.

The recorder didn't spike at all.

Register?

Just saying, oh, it's working?

Okay.

Can I read it again?

Oh, my God.

Oh my God.

I think I already know which one it is.

My cat has AIDS.

I didn't know it was gay.

Never thought it was gay.

Creaky is going to do what Creaky does.

Or walking back from the pharmacy.

And I think the meds are already kicking in.

Hashtag no filter.

Okay, one, I don't believe he walks to a pharmacy because he's got those bum knees and shit, so he's driving.

Creaky's going to do what Creaky does.

I know he does refer to himself as Creaky, but a little bit too hip.

I feel like his sense of humor is the

first one.

My cat has AIDS.

No way.

No?

Way too.

What are you helping?

I mean, you played it.

I know, I know, but it's too incendiary.

You think it's too incendiary for it?

He's like, hey, man, I've got a job in the future that I'm going to get that I want to keep.

I can't ruin his

tweets.

I don't know.

He's picked it, though.

It's too late.

He already went in.

So

there's the first one,

the cat.

I'm picking the cat one, yeah.

Not the walking back one.

Now, why did you not pick the other one about the meds kicking in?

Because he says,

I don't think he's walking to a farm.

Final answer, my cat has AIDS, never thought it was gay.

Yeah, that's my final answer.

Now, how should we play this?

Well, should we go to you now or should we just...

You always ask the contestant.

Always ask.

Well, since it's his game now, right?

Reveal

one of the wrong answers.

Okay.

One of the wrong answers is

unless it's the one I gave, then you hold off.

Yes, then you hold off on that one.

Creeky is going to do what Creeky does.

Which there was no other thing.

Wrong answer.

There was no other thing

beyond that.

Well, there was another wrong answer.

No, no, but I mean, like,

that was the beginning of the tweet and the end of the tweet.

Creeky's going to do what Creeky does.

Yes.

That's it.

Okay.

That was just what he made up.

That was the one you made.

That was a made-up one.

Okay.

Reveal

the real answer now.

Walking back from the pharmacy, and I think the meds are already kicking in.

Hashtag no filter.

Okay, well, now everyone knows why it takes him a fucking week to upload time for me.

There you go.

Okay.

Why would you think he'd be so

insensitive to make a joke about

eight?

Yeah, about gay, gay cats.

I wrote that.

The social justice warrior wrote that.

Why did you play this so loud?

I know his cat was sick or something.

Yeah,

they actually thought his cat did have like feline AIDS or something, and it didn't.

Right.

Yeah.

It had human AIDS.

It had a human AIDS.

He fucked it.

The lost pass in Ireland.

All right.

So his meds are kicking in, and hashtag no philosophy.

What do you think that even means, though?

I have no idea.

Whatever, he went to the pharmacy, and like a true druggie, he couldn't wait till he got back to the house.

Put him outside.

Fuck his cat.

What was the no-filter for, though?

I think no filter, like, I'm just, I'm speaking truths here and shit.

You know, like, I'm in enough of a haze, enough of a drug haze that I'm.

Oh, so you think it was one of those mind-altering drugs that he got from the pharmacy?

I don't know why he would tweet about, like, hey, got some antibiotics.

I'm going to knock this pool down in a few days.

I think people only tweet about fun drugs.

Okay.

All right.

Now,

I got a chance to get a big lead right here.

Yes.

So I'll, again, I'll pick a random.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll go with

Father Lance.

Oh, this is going to be good.

That was hard.

First tweet from Father Lance:

There's no greater God,

there's no love greater than God, family, and friends.

Merry Christmas.

That's the stuff that I hear because.

Second tweet, Father Lance.

I have a drive.

I remember this happening to Peter Marshall.

What do you call it?

Is that your dad waiting on Disney?

Jesus waiting for you.

Come by the luck for you.

That was the

guy doing steps in the front of my house.

Okay, the first one for Father Lance was:

there's no love greater than God, family, and friends.

Merry Christmas.

If that's the true tweet, I'm unfollowing him.

Okay.

That's a great tweet, tweet, though.

That's a great tweet.

If it was tweeted around Christmas time.

Tweeted three days ago.

The second is.

That would be awesome if he did.

Declan tweeted the same thing.

He doesn't know what fucking month it is.

Okay, the second one is for Father Lance.

That time at Scout Camp, I fit 10 hot dogs in my mouth.

I would pay money for that to be the true tweet.

And the third.

Did he steal that from Mike and May?

And the third from Father Lance is: Blessed be those who wash thy hands after using a public restroom for cleanliness is closest to godliness.

Way more than the characters, probably.

No,

they doubled the number of characters.

All right, so we got the Christmas one, we got the hot dog one, and we got the hands, washing the hands in a public restroom.

Yeah.

Being cleanliness.

Wow,

I think that

you picked Father Lance because of this tweet alone.

I think it was the hot dog one because

you

would try to schnooker us with two semi-religious tweets.

So I think I'm going to go at number two,

the camp and the hot dogs.

I think that this was

too weird that you would even think of

that.

You would come up with that one on your own.

I think it's just way too out there.

I don't know.

You heard some of the stuff you said at the Roast.

No, no, no, no.

Chris, I'm saying, would just come up with the

one.

Chris made up.

I don't think Chris would make up the hot dog one.

You don't think he would make that one?

No, I think that would be disrespectful to the father if he was insinuating that he had a hot house.

If you heard the Halloween roast

ten hot dogs in his mouth, I don't think that would be cool.

Why?

I thought if you did it to Declan,

but this is what we're talking about.

Declan is a...

I'm pansexual.

Yeah, but Declan

isn't a man of the cloth, though.

Right.

You could

show your mud to Father Lance about the hot dogs?

Absolutely.

Well, hot dogs are the euphemism.

Right.

For what we both know, I think.

Uh-huh.

So you think the father would have to do that?

So you think the father would take that?

I think the father wrote this.

You saw it and were like, and of course you giggled because you with this bathroom humor that most people would have.

Not me.

Not me.

I'm going number two.

All right.

Final answer.

Yeah.

What's one of the fake ones?

Do you want the

first 51 fake one?

There's no love greater than God.

Family and friends.

Merry Christmas.

That's fake.

To cliched.

Good.

Yeah.

I'm glad that one.

What's the real one?

That time at Scout Camp.

I fit 10 hot dogs in my mouth.

Very good, Walt.

Very good.

He knows how to play these games.

Did you mark that down?

All right.

Make it boulder.

Make it a fake number.

You already wrote loser.

So we'll go to you again, or you want to go to

Brian.

Okay.

Big lead here now.

Okay, okay.

Big lead.

I only need three more answers.

All right, so we'll go right to Frank Five.

Okay.

All right.

Do you follow the Frank Five?

I do.

I follow all these people.

I don't look at Twitter that much, though, so if these are recent tweets, I would not have seen them print.

They're all over the place.

All right, so the first Frank Five.

Can I ask you a question?

How old was that hot dog tweet?

I'll tell you in a second.

I have the link to it.

Why is he still thinking about it?

When you saw it, were you just like...

I have to sign up to fucking

sign it.

Did you see Deadpool 2?

I have.

I'm not online.

I can't.

It's so fucking good.

Is it?

It's so good.

Mike said it wasn't as good as the first one fuck him this is what he's talking about

this is what he's talking about

i'm not online here so okay don't worry about it i just was wondering how far back we're going are we going way way back all over like are we going years um are we going are we talking months i would say the last it's a very it's mostly in the last several months okay okay just wanted to see where

you should have told us like all the like you could get in trouble like a la game show allocation right i shouldn't have said what i just said

if you don't reveal all this information beforehand All right.

First Frank Five tweet.

I hope these box tops make a difference like the stool softener is.

Repeat that.

I hope these box tops, those things, I guess they.

Yeah, he collects box tops for like five points each

make a difference like these, like these stools, like this stool softener is, excuse me.

Is.

See, like that's a that's an English professor

writing that?

That doesn't sound like it's profitable.

Are you helping?

You're helping?

You're helping?

Yeah, he needs it, like I said.

I'm sitting here.

Second, I'm sitting here at a casino thinking about how cool a Tesdi slot machine would be.

That's the second one.

And then the third, Mrs.

Five got mad at me for parking in a handicapped spot at Walmart.

Those are good ones.

They are.

Okay, so the first one is, I hope the box tops make a difference, like the stool softener.

I don't think that's his brand of humor.

Frank Five, I think.

I think he doesn't go toilet humor?

I don't think so.

I think it's a little bit elevated, Frank Five's humor.

He's got a sardonic wit about him, this Frank Five.

So then the next one was.

I'm sitting here at a casino thinking about how cool a Tesla slot machine would be.

Okay, and then the last one was.

Mrs.

Five got mad at me for parking in a handicapped spot at Walmart.

Okay.

I don't know if he goes to casinos or not, but I know he doesn't mention Tellum Steve Dave a lot in his tweets.

He's usually talking to other people about stuff, so I'm going going to strike that one too.

Okay, you think he does at Walmart?

He does.

Sure, everybody does, don't they?

I mean, unless they can't avoid it.

I saw that house, so I don't think there's anything purchased at Walmart there.

No, it's all like Tiffany's and shit.

Tiffany?

They saw furniture there.

He's like, oh my.

Yeah.

Is it Tiffany's dining table?

They work in education.

Both of them do, right?

You wouldn't think so.

He's, does he have an Italian last name?

He might be mobbed up.

Okay.

All right.

Because this place was nice.

Yeah, it was like, we're on TV and we're just like, what the fuck?

Yeah.

What the fuck is going on?

How does this man have seven years?

Seven years.

This guy's been a professor for a couple.

I'm going to say he does tweet about Mrs.

Five a lot, and he does seem to like to showcase his sort of like sociopathic behavior.

So you're going to go.

So I'm going to go with the last one that

she got upset about.

Final answer.

That's a final answer right there.

You can't change it.

I don't think Frank Five would joke

about his parking parking in a handicap spot for fear of ramifications from school.

If they know his Twitter handle,

they may not.

But I don't know.

That's me.

I wouldn't have gone with that one because.

Which one would you go with?

The slot machine.

Slot machine, huh?

Yeah, I don't know why.

I just feel the slot machine I would go with.

But

you could be right, though.

But yeah, I also, I didn't take that in consideration that, you know, nobody may know about the Frank Five identity at school anyway.

Okay.

So the first fake tweet is Mrs.

Five got mad at me for parking a handicap spot at Walmart.

Well, why don't you give the other one?

Why don't you give that?

Yeah, you should.

Yeah, you didn't do that right.

No, he said,

he put his final answer.

Yeah.

So I said I wanted it to be the wrong one that he said.

Yeah, but you don't, but you kind of built a little bit of suspicion.

All right.

Before you're like, you're wrong again, right now.

All right, all right.

So let's just go right.

He was wrong.

Let's go right to the

right answer.

I'm sitting here at the casino thinking about how cool a Tesli slot machine would be.

Schooling you, bro.

You are.

You are.

I mean,

I can't argue with you.

Okay.

You're better at guessing it.

You're better at guessing it.

You were really good at the.

The breakdown wasn't bad, right?

No, but you were really...

What was the game we played with, Frank?

May I be Frank.

Was it called May I Be Frank?

Yeah, May I Be Frank with the Frank, like different Frank quotes.

No, Frank.

I can't remember what the game is called, but it sucked.

But you were good at it, though.

As soon as I heard that, I'm like.

As soon as I heard that, I was like, fuck, my game is fucked up.

Who are you?

Brian Quinn.

I definitely don't follow him.

All he talks about is IJ stuff.

Stupid cat.

Okay, ready?

The first Brian Quinn tweet.

Every hotel room I check into, there's always a problem.

This one has a mysterious brown stain on the shower curtain.

Okay, that's the first tweet.

Right.

He bitches about everything.

Oh, my God.

He always wants,

he does it through Twitter so he gets some, so he can get like comp shit.

Yeah, so they're like, ooh, he's staying at our hotel.

Yeah, so like,

like, he does it publicly.

He shames his company publicly.

Yeah, they all do it.

So they fall over themselves

to try to make a famous person feel better.

Right.

Because they're like, they look at his account.

They're like, oh my God, he's got like a million followers almost.

And

I've seen him do that, like, publicly shame a company

so that he gets results.

But he didn't say the name of the hotel, huh?

No.

He didn't.

Okay, what's next?

Second tweet is, I love the FDNY more than sex.

He loves to tell everybody how he was a fireman.

He mentioned

mentioned in both of them.

Yeah, he is, he will,

he will break out that fireman thing

at a moment's notice.

Well, it is

a worthy

imperfectionist.

As a fireman, I hate to see Brown stick it on.

I think, is there anybody at that show that doesn't know that he was a fireman?

Who knows?

All right.

What's the third one?

Who gives a fuck?

We're all struggling.

Life is hard.

Oof.

That doesn't sound like Q.

At least not publicly.

That's it.

Did you just take it?

Did you just take a piece of it?

No, it's the full tweet.

These are all the full tweets.

Life is hard.

We're all struggling.

Life is hard.

He may have just said that in a moment of despair.

Looking at a shelter and shit on it.

What am I up to, nothing right now?

You're up to nothing.

Yeah, you can afford to.

Well, I'm up to nothing right now, right?

You can afford what?

What?

I'm at three?

How's he up for?

He's up three.

How the fuck does he have three?

He's only.

He can't win my round.

Oh, no.

I think

only if they.

So then you're at zero.

For fuck's sake.

You don't have to change my score.

Just take one off of his.

I got you.

You only have two.

I don't think he didn't get three right answers.

This is like your score.

I guess everyone's right so far, but that wasn't my turn, though.

Yeah.

So he only has one.

I only have one, yeah.

Yeah, I only have one.

Christ almighty.

No.

No, no.

To be fair, Chris.

Went to college.

But to be fair, Chris did not explain any of the rules.

So, yeah.

We don't explain the rules because we're making it up as as we go along.

All right, so it's one to nothing so far, for God's sake.

All right, you ready?

Yeah, I'm going to go with

read them again or.

No, no.

I'm going to go with number three because I just think it's so you would have been more you would have been more

creative, I think, in your fake tweet than writing two sentences like life is hard.

So you think

number three is the right one.

I just think you think if you were going going to create a fake tweet for Q, you would have had a little bit more

panache.

Is that the right word?

Pizzazz.

Pizzazz.

Panache or Pizzazz.

Panache.

I'm going with number three is the real one.

Number three, saying we're all struggling, life is hard.

Yeah.

Give me a fake wrong one.

I love the FDNY more than sex.

That's one of the wrong ones.

Yes.

I knew that.

I think he loves sex more than sex.

I've been a bunch of dudes like putting out fires yet.

You know that guy.

Okay, now reveal the right answer.

We're all struggling.

Life is hard.

I wouldn't want to think of him as that emote faggot,

but here we are.

I just like, I'm just going as a,

since I've run a few games.

Yes, you're good.

I cannot imagine if you're going to create a fake one.

You're just going to create two little sentences like that.

Okay.

I think I got a lock on this.

You're pretty, yeah, you're pretty good, man.

You break it quickly.

Well, I mean, well, you, I'm just saying, I think the lead may be too tough to overcome at this point.

It's only two.

Again, it's only two.

I mean, my her scorekeeping is a nine, but really, it's only two.

All right, I'll give

Brian the other Quinn one.

Oh, don't give him Quinn one.

I know he pays attention to Quinn ones.

Okay.

I wouldn't have gotten that one, though.

I wouldn't have gotten that one because there's no way he's tweeting that.

I think he just wrote that

frustration.

No, no, here's the thing.

Was it just

an isolated tweet, or was he responding to someone?

He was responding to someone, I bet.

Yeah.

He wouldn't just write that out of nowhere with no context.

No.

He probably was

being douchey about it.

Like somebody was like, hey,

I didn't get

or how come there's no new what say you?

And then he's like, well, life is hard.

Life is hard.

We're all struggling.

He may have been kind of like being sarcastic.

All right.

I'm going to give you the other Brian Quinn one.

Okay.

Sorry, Walt.

Okay.

The first Brian Quinn tweet.

The pants I bought last month don't even fit.

I just saw him, so that's a true one.

The second one is, there's a sucker born every minute, my mom didn't raise no fool.

The third one is, why can't every superhero movie take place in Staten Island?

Those are tough ones.

Yeah.

They all sound like him.

There's a sucker born every minute, and my mama didn't raise no fool.

The first one was...

The pants I bought last month don't even fit.

I think we can all say that.

And the last one was a superhero movie.

Yeah, why can't every superhero movie take place in Staten Island?

I'll go with that one.

Final answer?

I think that's the right answer, too.

Number three.

All right, the first

fake tweet.

There's a sucker born every minute.

My mom didn't raise no fool.

All right.

And now the.

He might be on the board.

Maybe.

Maybe.

The true,

the one true tweet.

Yes.

The pants I bought last month don't even fit.

I almost said that.

And then I'm like, no, he's a corny comics guy.

Jesus, I think he is.

All right.

I'm going to give you a Jay Sarge, Walt.

Ooh.

Okay.

Does he tweet a lot, Jay Sarge?

I think he does.

Not as much.

I'm friends with him on Facebook too.

He tweets a ton.

Not a lot.

Yeah.

Okay, so first.

Composing music.

He doesn't want to be composing tweets.

First tweet from Jay Sarge.

A symphony of tweets.

No,

his first symphony is going to be about music, not tweeting.

Yeah, come on.

Come on, come on.

What's the matter with you?

First tweet.

I can't wait to get out of Utah.

I don't want to get shut out.

I hope I don't get shut out.

Yes, I can't wait to get out of Utah.

Okay.

Second is

it would be a dream come true to play my music live at a live Tesdi show.

And then the third, I'm getting sick of these fuckers on hashtag chopped calling these balls of dough donuts.

I may be alone in this, but there ain't no hole in it.

You can go fuck yourself.

That's it.

That's it.

Number three.

Number three.

Yeah, way too much information.

I thought it would have been the first one.

Yeah, you know what?

He hates Utah, right?

He doesn't like it there.

Does he?

I don't think he likes it in Utah.

But I'm going to go with number three.

The only reason I'm saying that is because that's a lot of information.

But you also may have been watching the Food Network, and you personally were just feeling that.

Were you in fact watching it?

What was one of the fake ones, Chris?

I can't wait to get out of Utah.

Looking good for me.

It is.

That's what I would have guessed.

So, the real one is: I'm getting sick of these fuckers on chops calling these balls of dough donuts.

I may be alone in this, but if there ain't no hole in it, you can go fuck yourself.

You're just

unloaded.

You just unstopped it.

I feel like a goat.

I feel like a donut.

goddamn story.

I feel like it's like

beating up a red-headed stepchild.

You're on Twitter constantly.

Yeah, you are.

You're on Twitter.

No, you think I'm cheating?

No, not cheating.

I think you're on Twitter.

I think he's on Twitter a lot more than he was led up to.

So you think that I've seen these at the time?

Well, it's not cheating.

No, not cheating.

You ready, Brian?

I just know these guys.

Does it seem like I'm ready?

Why is it so hard to accept that I just know the guys in my universe?

All right, calm down.

I know.

Jesus Christ.

Everyone's accepting it.

Especially just like what Tom Brady went through with the deflecting.

Oh, here we go.

Tom Brady.

People are like, oh, to diminish his accomplishments because he took a little bit of air out of a football.

No, he's still the best that ever fucking threw a football, whether it's saggy or not.

Okay.

And you're the best fucks ever guessed it.

What's it called again?

One true tweet.

One true tweet.

So far, I mean, you are the champion of one true tweet.

There's no denying denying it.

All right.

Your next part.

I tell you.

What was it?

What was the score, Go?

This is like watching Michael Jordan.

She's like, it's 50 to 30 somehow.

It's 3 to 0.

3-0, right?

3-0.

So 5 is the.

It's a sweep, but could be.

You could get swept if I get the next one right if you don't get this one right.

All right.

We'll do Declan Quinn.

Oh, good.

Uh, okay.

Who else?

Who else was there?

Was it have we got?

Have we gone through everyone?

No, there's Declan.

Is there something you haven't done yet?

No,

the ones that I prepared today, no.

Okay, so everybody's gotten a shot?

Yeah, okay.

So here's a

Declan Quinn.

First tweet, March, you sneaky bastard.

That's like something like my mom writes.

Yeah.

Second tweet from Declan Quinn, last night I had a dream I was related to BQ.

And the third,

if I had comic book money.

Third tweet is, if I had comic book men money, I'd have bionic knees.

Hmm.

So witty.

The first one is

I'll tell you right now,

I think anybody listening to this, if you're following Declan Quinn, I mean, first

they started thinking about it, I was like, should I really unfollow this?

Because this is horrible.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

My followers listening, hanging on every word I say.

He just wakes up in a warning, looks at his Twitter, sees a big zero sitting there.

He's like, how'd this happen?

No lights.

No retweets.

It's all fun.

Certainly.

Certainly, old Declan can't be having his big old zero on your...

There'll be some feedback.

Oh, kudos for Deckling.

Oh, April, how did you sneak up on me?

That'll get him.

I replace Mark Twitter, bro.

Middle state masses.

I'm in time for a wit.

I gotta figure out this Twitter mystery.

Somebody's five must have been hacked.

Dear Twitter,

you may know me from the account Quinn.

Lately,

I've been tweeting pots of gold.

Not just nuggets, oil.

Dear at Jack.

What the fuck?

Okay, so wait, what were they again?

It was the 80s.

It was the March March money.

March, you sneaky bastard.

Sneaky bastard.

If I had comic book men money, I'd have bionic knees.

Last night I had a dream, I was related to BQ.

Oh, there may be a tell in there.

He switched them.

I was thinking the same thing.

He knee-bade number two, number three.

Right.

And the second time you said it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, it's not.

I just read them.

Yeah, so now I'm thinking number two is the real one.

Which was?

was number two was.

Which number two?

All three of them.

If I had comic books.

Oh, God.

I hope it's fucking March crept up on me.

It's so bad.

It's so awful.

It's like something like a 55-year-old fucking woman writes.

Yeah, my mom would be like, that's cute.

I'm going to steal that and put it on Facebook.

Oh, I wish I could get that in a t-shirt that goes down to my knees.

I could sleep in it.

Just like Declan does.

The cat says hey!

He's gay.

I threw him out of the house.

How am I supposed to compose genius tweets?

This faggot cat

lyricing about.

So which one?

I'm going to say the first one.

I want it to be that one so desperately.

Wait, which one?

The March.

Okay, so the first fake Declan Gwynn tweet is if I had comic book men money, I'd have bionic knees.

I would have thought that was it.

That's the one I thought it was.

That's the one I thought it was, too.

I'm trying to will it too.

And for the real one,

March is

bastard.

Yes.

How could he write that?

He just went directly from the pharmacy to his house and tweeted that.

All these tweets, by the way, are probably cited with links to each of them.

Oh, my God.

There's no backing out of these tweets.

I mean, you just, how do you, how do you put, what's it called when you tweet it?

Do you send it?

What's the button called?

Like, could you just see the smile on his face as he typed that and hit send?

Smell the horror as he's listening to this.

I have one minute.

Only one.

I'm going to tweet about the weather.

It's safe.

Everybody can take pot shots at the weather.

What's the weather going to do to me?

Weather can't fire me.

Weather can't hold me accountable.

All right, well, you're on the board.

All right.

Next one.

Oh, this could be the greatest comeback.

Like, what's the greatest comeback in sports history?

Can you even come back?

When the Red Sox took down the Yankees, they were down 3-0 in 2000.

I'm running out of tweets.

Yeah.

We got to have at least one more.

You said you had Layton.

I did, but

I only made enough for a couple of fake tweets.

All right.

Frank Five.

Ooh.

First tweet,

just got a dirty look from a woman wearing a 1989 Neil Diamond concert t-shirt.

Okay.

Second,

this Chevy smells like the inside of my in-law's house.

Yuck.

Chevy?

Chevy's.

Chevy's

Mexican restaurant.

Mexican Mexican restaurant.

Oh, okay.

And third, whatever happened to people saying thank you when you hold the door for them?

What a bitch.

Ooh, that sounds angry.

I'm really going out on a limb here

because I'm really just

taking a stab.

I don't think he would publicly try to go after Chevy's.

That's BQ method.

That's a BQ style of check.

When he wants a free steak.

The old brown stain comes out.

And what's number two again?

Number two.

That was number two, right?

The Chevy smell?

Yes.

What's number one again?

The first one was just got a dirty look from a woman wearing a 1989 Neil Diamond shirt.

And the third one was one more time, real quickly.

Sorry.

Holding the door.

Whatever happened to people saying thank you when you hold the door for the

bitch.

I think he's one one to take notice of a 1989 t-shirt.

I think he would notice it

and

he would be prompted to say it.

I think it's number one.

I just got a dirty look from a woman wearing a 1989 Neil Diamond.

I think he wouldn't call someone a bitch.

Nope, I don't think he would either, but

I think he's the kind of guy who pays attention to details, to small details.

He would notice the year of the concert tour, And

that would place it.

Nasty look.

How many years was old as that shirt then?

1989.

That's almost like 30 years old.

29-year-old concert t-shirt, I think.

He would notice it.

Okay, so the first fake Frank Five tweet.

This Chevy smells like the inside of my in-law's house.

Yuck.

Yeah, I knew it was.

It's not his style.

And the real.

Well, now, Chris, as you build a little, build, because I'm sure every listener is on the end of

the day.

This is like, you know, know, this is like staying a couple champion after this.

Well, you can, but like, but like, this could be a winning shot.

Like, you know, like, Jordan has just released the ball, it's in the air, it's slow motion.

And but Chris is about to like is announcing as like he's like announcing this shot.

It's like, it's in and out.

It's the last question.

So

it's the last one.

So

the

one true tweet for Frank Five

is

just got a dirty look from a woman wearing a 199 Neil Diamond concert t-shirt.

This is why I don't play the gates.

You are competitive.

This is why I don't play the gates because I would just destroy everybody at the table and it brings out the worst of me.

That's good.

It does, you're right.

People are hating me now.

I'm like, that's why people hate Tom Brady because he wins all the time.

If you start talking about pliability, get out of here.

Because

you can't stand when someone performs that well.

Now, is he a hot dog like yourself, this Tom Brady?

He's kind of got an arrogant smugness about him.

But he deserves to have that.

He's earned it.

He's more than earned it.

Just like me.

Tom Brady won.

Thank you, Chris.

That was awesome.

So I just lost officially.

Yeah, that was four.

Four games to one.

It wasn't a sweep.

You could hold your head up high.

There's no shame.

There's no shame in

how you perform tonight.

All right.

She's going to say differently later on.

That's two performances you let me down on.

So, Chris LaDondo, thanks for coming in.

We'll put your performance up against the other two guys.

Then we have how many more people coming in after Quinton?

I don't know.

I mean, we have no idea when Q comes back.

It may be stretched even further than.

He told me he has three weeks off in June.

So he'll be back in June at some point, but we have at least two more people.

At At least two more mystery guest hosts that are going to sit in.

Who do you hope to get?

Yeah, who's your dream host?

Who'd your dream sit in other than yourself?

Well, Troy.

Troy told me about a game.

I'm not even going to say it.

It's so fucking good that he wanted to tell you about that hello.

He's come up with it.

He's come up with his own game.

The morning game was amazing.

Oh, I love the guest host.

Such a great game.

I'm just insane because he deserves the glory.

I teach Troy all the time.

Oh, I'm sure it's not one true text.

Yeah, no.

This is great.

It's similar.

Now, you said everything is like a derivative from 1, 2, 3.

It's similar in that respect.

I'm not going to say he deserves this glory.

It is good.

Does he mention anything to you about games?

No, he doesn't.

So one of the people you hope to have sit in the seat you're in is Troy.

Anybody else?

Troy and

nobody's asked for Gidham yet.

He's on everything.

No, I've seen no requests for Gidham.

Well, now you're telling me

he gets jealous every time I tweet something or he's like.

He's not jealous.

It irks him.

It irks him.

If you tweet political.

He doesn't like your paintings either.

No, no, no, no, fine.

No, no, no.

That's fine.

Not that he doesn't like them, but he was kind of like.

That's fine.

He was like...

No, I don't like some of them.

I don't like either.

I can't believe I've seen him this late in the show.

The second you mentioned painting.

Not in a way that he didn't like the actual painting, but he was just like, no, he's painting.

Yeah, there's like some sort of like he's a true hater.

Yeah, he's the one who's a troll.

He is.

Well, I blame you.

Because when we met him at the fucking Collingswood, when we were doing, what was it, Making Hay 2?

I raised a troll?

No.

Well, I was filming it, remember?

And we met him there.

We interviewed him.

You brought him into this world, and he got into this whole arrogance of like, you know, he's better than everybody else.

You think that was because of meeting us that he thought he was better than everybody else?

He has been thinking his whole life that he's better than him.

You gave him a platform.

You gave him this platform and he attacks people, and he's mean when he does

I see it.

But you see it, right?

I've tried to talk to him.

I've tried to be so nice to him because normally he would get choked out.

Let's say he went online and kind of disparaged a painting.

Would that be worthy of choking out?

Absolutely.

But it's okay.

I don't like some of it myself.

No, no.

It's okay.

I said it wrong.

It's got a call to you.

I did not say it properly.

He didn't like that you were announcing you're a painting, like this new model.

I'm not allowed to have it.

painting.

No, you can have it.

Just don't talk about it.

Just don't talk about it.

But he was just kind of like poo-pooing

paintings.

Now Chris Lagondo is painting and selling his fucking car.

He's always raising money for this and that.

That's okay.

He has a bit of a hater in him.

But you can understand why.

I mean, look, there's a lot.

He's got good qualities.

Absolutely.

But, you know, he's also got this kind of mean stream.

Do you think that has to do with his condition?

No, I think it just has to do with just the way he's he's been.

Just the way he's been.

But shouldn't he project that to people that were mean to him?

Like, I gave him money online.

I don't know.

You got to turn around and bully the people that least expect it or least deserve it.

Right?

So, so, so, so, bully him, and then he'll respect me.

That's the answer.

No, bullying is the answer.

Tell him, Steve.

You want me to say tell him, Steve, Dave?

Say tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hold on.

Bullying is the answer.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

When you said it,

I didn't listen.

When you touched me,

I didn't feel afraid.

When you showed me,

my eyes shut tight?

What are you saying?

I've got that sinking feeling,

scratching creeping right through me now.

We can't control it

for a minute at how

can we get back into it?

I have no mind,

just for show.

It's killing us

to be like this tonight.

I see those pictures,

but I can see them.

We're here and breathing,

so close and near.

We're really trying.

This means a lot to me.

The night is ending,

and I've got that sinking feeling.

Scratch it creeping right through me now.

Can't control it for a minute

at home.

Can we get back into it?

I've bent up mine

just for sure.

It's killing us

to be like this tonight.

I think you can feel it scratching, creeping right through me now.

We can't control it for a minute and now

can we get back into it?

Our friends are mine,

just for sure.

It's killing me

to be like this tonight.

It's killing me

to feel like this tonight.

All right.

Obviously, you guys are probably here waiting on this week's dyslexia, but a special

combo: dyslexia and 12 minutes in hell.

It's been a while since the last 12 minutes of hell.

When was the last 12 Minutes of Hell?

Too long for some people.

Was it

when I threw the iPad and almost clocked you, or

was there one after that?

I think there was one after that when they had to, yeah.

All right.

So obviously the co-creator of Dyslexia is joining me

for this little segment.

I wanted to really, why I really wanted to do 12 Minutes in Hell was because

this week's special fill-in host sitting in for Brian Q, Chris Ledondo.

I read about that on Reddit.

There was some speculation, mostly fueled by me, because

I had to recount it.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe I recounted.

I thought this would be a nice way to set the record straight once and for all, because I don't want any bad blood between you guys if there isn't any.

And I feel I may have played a part in that because when I told Chris of your reaction when you saw that Chris had been painting online, I thought it was one of like

dismissiveness, you're saying.

Yeah, was I wrong?

I think so a little.

I was

not sure the exact emotion I was trying to convey, but I think it was more of a

almost like a hey, did you hear type deal?

And then because I went and I showed you the pictures and I showed you like his Etsy store and everything.

Gotcha.

And yeah.

Now, were you not intrigued enough to make a purchase of

the Crystal Don't?

The only piece of real art I have in my house, I actually bought myself, I did buy it myself.

It was made by the Blue Man Group in New York City.

And it hangs in my bedroom.

That's your only piece of original art?

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

So, but you go to.

You know me.

I am very envious of people's artistic abilities because I possess none whatsoever.

Don't sell yourself stories.

You can also talk about.

I want to also have you here here on 12 Minutes of Hell, and I don't even know if we're going over 12 minutes because there's so much to talk about in this little mini episode.

Elephants in a room dropping with this episode.

Yes.

I don't think I've...

Well, but let's just go back to Chris.

So, definitively, what is your relationship with Chris?

Do you, when I told him I don't feel there's any, in all seriousness, I told him I didn't think there was any kind of animosity between the two, and you're not trying to, anything that you say to him or at him him at is made purely in

fun and in the in

the flavor of uh the show.

Yeah, because that's why you do it publicly.

It's because everyone's reading these back and forth.

I think a lot of people get enjoyment and entertainment out of it.

And he's always seemed to me like to be a good sport.

Like he has a sense of humor?

He has a sense of humor.

Yeah, he has a sense of humor.

I don't know if that sense of humor is all-encompassing or it encompasses himself, too.

Well, that's not my fault.

Then he needs to

modify his sense of humor to

adapt to myself.

All right, so you guys,

as far as you're concerned, you guys are.

Yeah, I would probably never put him in the same camp as Bobby B or people like that.

So, blah, blah, blah.

Well, I'm sure he's now.

He's so happy to hear that.

But going back to Elephants in a Room,

drop in this weekend, and I don't know if I've ever been as

proud

of you and your in maybe since episode 300 because I was so because you really stepped up in that one and really went you know both feet in and but um

tied

your your involvement your participation your um

what you gave uh to the production um

like I said I would like I wish I could see that level of like um

I really why can't you bring that level of like enthusiasm and

well even then even then, I still had to crack the whip, even though there weren't elephants in the room, because I was like, why the fuck are we waiting to the last day to create the elephant?

It felt like.

But when you did it, it came through, and I'm like, well, because

we only had so much pudding.

Not to spoil it for anybody.

So it was like, oh, you know, we only had one shot at this.

And if it failed, it would have ruined the whole night.

But I mean, the behind-the-scenes work that you did,

as well as the in front of the scenes, I guess.

By the way, if anyone does want to buy the elephant, it's available for pickup.

Just give us a price.

But again, though, like you, you upped your upped your game, you upped your.

I was only following your lead.

Oh, no, please.

If you don't have, if you're not,

don't diminish what you did.

It was amazing, and it was easily the.

Again, I was inspired by

you.

The shining, the highlight of the Walt Flan and

production

portfolio.

I've seen bits and snips of it, and I haven't seen the whole thing.

I can't wait to see the commercials.

I can't wait to see the World Premiere movie trailer.

I mean, just looking at

the DVD covers we got to sign,

it's really intriguing.

But okay, so got all that out of the way.

I did want to tell you that

smoothed out the Chris LaDondo situation,

gave you some love for

all you did for Elephants in a Room.

But now what everybody's been waiting on the dyslexia this

I brought now to bring in the co-creator of dyslexia is a special treat for me because I don't know if you know knew these clues from last week these were the easily the most hardest

clues that I've ever given only one person got them right and even then I had to lead them there basically by the nose like I had to like grab them by the back of his neck like you're that yeah you're that close and and just and just like and just drag him to the answers but did you rub his nose in it I felt like it until I found out he's gonna to help me on something else.

Then I was just like, then I decided to lay off.

But now, this guy who did figure it out, though, his name's James Harkins.

All kidding aside, I mean,

you are a unilateral thinker, my friend, because you're the only person that came up with these answers.

And a lot of

props to you as well.

But let's see if the co-creator could figure these out.

Okay.

First one from last week was gloomy eyes.

And I'll give you a hint that the other people didn't get.

They thought it may have been eyes like in your pupils.

Okay.

But it was actually eyes, the letter I's, multiple eyes.

So gloomy eyes.

What's the opposite of gloomy?

Happy,

feeling good.

Is it a happy or am I close with happy?

Yeah, again, I don't want to drag you around my nose.

All right, all right.

Opposite of I is input-output, I-O.

Yes, yes.

So.

That's right.

Opposite.

Now, why did you go with the opposite of I's as O's?

Because it's an input-output thing.

It's a computer thing.

See, I wasn't thinking like that.

Oh, okay.

So now I love this because now

you're showing your mind is possibly,

not likely more appliant than mine or unilateral because I was just thinking straight line.

What is the opposite of a straight line?

All right.

Circle.

And it could also be some power switches have an I and an O for on and off.

So it's the opposite on and off.

So

you're, but you didn't get, but you didn't get gloomy, right, though.

Oh, okay.

So it's not happy O's.

Okay.

Hold on.

Come on.

How can you get the opposite of I's being O's and you can't get the opposite of gloomy?

Gloomy.

You're not gloomy.

You're.

Cheeri?

Cheerios?

Cheerios.

Okay, yes.

Number two, pliable three plant.

Pliable three plant.

Well, I know from the other day.

Last week.

From whenever I listen to it, the opposite of three is E.

Yes, when you look at that for people who are like smacking their foreheads, you were given last week that when it was

Frank 3 was a clue, that I gave E was the opposite of 3 because you look in the mirror at an E, it becomes a 3.

So that's the opposite.

Now, what is the opposite of pliable?

Pliable, pliable.

Something's not pliable, it's...

You said it was pliable, three

plant?

Yes.

Okay, so

let's go let's go um

plants, plants.

Um

when you plant something you put it in the ground.

So the opposite would be

you're not growing it, so you're cons you'd probably be consuming it, so

uh yes, but what do you do before you consume it?

You cook you cook something.

So we have threes.

So it's cookie and pliable.

And remember, Cheerios.

Cheerios.

Okay, Cheerios.

So cookie, cookie, cookie crunch,

cookie crisp.

Cookie crisp is number two.

Okay.

And then finally,

clue number three was limp vitamin.

Limp vitamin.

Limp vitamin.

Cook vitamin.

Obviously, a vitamin is the first one.

What's the opposite of a vitamin?

Well, people always say that the box

has more vitamins than the cereal because the cereal is so full of sugar.

So I'm not sure.

That's right.

Sugar?

Yes.

Yes.

Sugar is the opposite of vitamin.

Sugar, sugar.

This was a curveball.

Okay.

Because a lot of people probably would not expect this.

The opposite of limp.

Straight.

So no sugar straight.

But let's go back to if we know if something is limp, it can also be what?

It can be

okay, so sugar crisp.

It's sugar crispy.

Sugar crisp, nice.

Thus, the first time in dyslexia history where

it's two different clues were the same word.

Okay.

And that's what I think went through people, which is what I was trying to do.

I was trying to make it super difficult.

And

it's not just 2 plus 2 that equals 4, it's 3 plus 1.

Or Or it's

there anything else that'll equal four?

Four plus zero.

You're right.

I mean, that is the, that right there defines dyslexia.

Right?

That's a perfect way.

It's not like one, which is a prime opposite.

It only has one other.

It's one, yeah.

Excellent.

Excellent.

All right.

So this week's dyslexia clues, and if you're guessing the theme was cereal?

Yes, cereal.

That was the cookie crisp.

A lot of people knew it was cereals, but they just couldn't get the right, the three brands.

I don't even know if they even make Sugar Crisp anymore.

Hopefully, they do.

Maybe that was also that may have been a curveball.

But if you wanted that,

they should be thinking like we are, which is a little older.

I mean, you know, you got it's not like it's not only you have to know your audience, you have to know the creators.

Exactly.

It's not all about you, people.

It's mostly about us.

Walt Flann.

So this week, if you want, again, we're not giving out skulls anymore.

We're giving out signed 8x10s at a barren, glossy.

Yes, easier.

And plus, the skulls are, I mean, we're running dangerously low on skulls.

Wow, I mean,

you're up to two cards in your card now.

But 8x10, glossy Baron photos.

And if you want one, take a shot at these clues.

Email KMUs2 at gmail and submit your answers.

As always, best of luck.

And the first clue is

Ken Hinder standing out hate.

That's a long clue, but it's Ken Hinder standing out hate.

Clue number two, brain fix office.

Brain fix office.

And the final clue, red birthday.

Red birthday.

Final clue.

And I need the correct

answers to that as well as the theme of this week's dyslexia.

And again, big shout out to James Harkins.

Big shout out to Chris Ledondo for sitting in for Q this week.

And a big shout out to Giddam for all his work on Elephants in the Room.

Thank you, Walt.

Thank you.

Did we have a sign-off for 12 minutes in hell?

I don't.

I think we just want to say we just ended it.

Did we have a theme music?

No, I don't think we had theme music.

It was just kind of a really shoddy production, huh?

CNL.

CNL.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio.

Sir, only at Smodcast dot com.