#365: Nobody’s Goat

Hello,

you might know me from such films as Clerks Do.

My name is Rosario Dawson, and I want to give a shout out to The Baron,

Darkness,

Drown Out Light, Appear, Fiend of Fact, within my sight.

Time Steve Dave presents a forgiver character with encounters in the Sixth Company of Kind

with Brian Connondy, Roger Flanagan, and Brian Johnson.

This week's episode

Hello and welcome to Tell'em Steve Dave presents overkill.

We're really gonna do it this time.

Yeah, I think.

Yeah, all right.

We're gonna do it.

What do we got?

Any announcements first?

Q, you're super apologetic for not going to the con.

You wanted to go?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I'm not really apologetic.

It wasn't much.

Do you want to issue an apology?

I don't.

I mean, I was fucking at an airport.

I, you know, shit happened, dude.

Two flights got canceled on me.

What am I supposed to do?

Shit just doesn't happen.

Someone needs to be held accountable.

I would say Detroit, the city of Detroit.

The D?

Come on, man.

Like, you know how fucking let down I was.

The one trip I want to take in the entire year.

We talked about it for a while.

And I was like, fucking, of course.

I want to leave my house finally, and this is what happens.

We're going to have a second bite at the Apple in Chicago, though.

Yeah?

That's what I hear.

Cain will be there?

Pinball.

Well, no, Kane won't be there.

Pinball, yes.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

Pinball.

I'm hosting the Stern Pro Circuit Championship pinball

tournament in Chicago at the bottom lounge on March 24th.

By the time you hear this, ticket's probably sold out.

Why?

Because it's called the bottom lounge and making my bottom all.

Yeah.

But I've enlisted you, my friend, to come with me.

Yes.

I'm going to get my hands dirty on this one.

We're going to have some fun.

Assistant pinballer to the stars.

It's going to be what they call me.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

Yeah, so that'll be good.

maybe we should like do a four-colored demons meetup or some shit there i don't know we'll figure something out i went to one in um yes in uh in detroit it was fun it was good how many people showed probably like

15.

wow it's pretty good yeah yeah went to the tilted kilt

to see walt there i did not hide nor hair though i gotta say that when i did go in there are like the doors have two scantily clad women on them like in stained glass

you didn't notice that walking in

I can't see stained glass.

I don't know if you know that.

It's like

a colorblind kind of thing.

So when you go to a cathedral, I just see complete glass.

So when you go to a cathedral, that is the best claim you've ever made on this show.

So

when he goes to a cathedral, he's like, I don't see the big deal.

They're just windows.

He somehow sees through them like a clear.

Wow.

Because I'm not paying attention, you know.

I'm not.

Well, it doesn't mean everyone has.

I love my wife.

I don't see other women.

Not even sexy.

Everybody's a dude to me.

I did notice it when

I walked through

the doors of the Tilted Kilton up in Edison.

I did not notice

the stained glass.

I got to say, they make a hell of a tater-tot.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Have some tater-tots.

Did you pay the bill or did other people pick it up for you?

No, I thought it would be nice to, you know, get a little back.

No, no, no.

No, I gave a little bit.

No, that would have been really nice.

That would have been sweet.

Nah, we gave a little bit back.

I I gave so much back.

In fact, I was talking to

a couple members, and they had just gone to see the 50 Shades of Grey.

Oh, okay.

50 Shades Freed.

I suppose, whatever it is.

And I'm looking at the guy like, what the fuck for, you know?

Yeah.

And he says, oh, well, you know, she dragged him to me and she tried to get me to read the books.

Which immediately said to me, she wants to get fucking busy, bro.

She wants to get busy.

She wants to get tired.

She's got a leap on that like a fucking tiger.

In less than 10 seconds, I had it figured out.

Yeah.

So we went on Amazon and I bought him his first restraint system.

Oh,

nice, dude.

So now they're going to.

Well, who's getting this?

I guess her.

She's got a panky, packy.

Yeah, I think she was.

She didn't disagree with what I was saying.

Well, she's probably going to be throwing her a sexual lifesaver.

She said, thank you.

I'm down to clown.

Fucking.

What do you know what I'm talking about?

I don't understand any of this.

What is going on?

Sex stuff.

Sex stuff?

Yeah, restraints.

What is it?

B D S M

Bondage, Sado Maso.

Yeah.

Oh, buying, torture, kill, BTK.

Yeah, that's exactly it.

I was like, can your wife take a ride with me?

No, what is it?

It was a bondage,

dominance, sadomasochism.

Is that it?

I think so.

So, yeah.

She's dragging him to the movies and trying to get him to read the books.

She's telling him something.

Time you up, time you down.

So we went on Amazon.

I found

a reasonably priced restraint system so he can tie up his ladies.

Velcro or leather?

I think it was, come on.

It was like a crazy.

I already bought him drinks.

Now I've got my colour.

Yeah, so

I'm just going to pay for it.

You can get out of it if you've got a Gerald's game situation going on.

I know.

That's why I never use Velcro anymore.

One got away.

It almost got me in a lot of trouble.

That always seems silly to me, that stuff.

Tying people up?

Yeah, I mean,

if you're going to go for the whole sadomasochism thing, go for it.

Like,

you know, like, the fact that this kit's on Amazon for it, I mean, look, it's

extreme.

Listen,

I'm going to retract my status.

This is the opposite advice of what I was given.

Yeah, anybody who's enjoying themselves with their partner, please continue to do so without my judgment.

I apologize for that, Steven.

See, I did apologize today.

Look at you.

I did.

I'm not here to judge anybody else.

I'm just saying.

Well, the corny shit's like, I think I'd be way way like

brushing a feather lightly on.

So I guess people like that, though, but I would just be like, I don't know.

Feather.

Ever get brushed with a feather waltz?

I picked up a chicken once.

I was sick for three months.

Yeah, I don't think I can touch feathers.

I get bad for like hives and stuff.

Any kind of feather.

Dependent on the feather.

Peacock feather would fuck you up, bro.

I almost got killed by a peacock.

Feather.

Not by the feather,

by the mad bird.

A regular peacock went after you?

Yeah, it came after me.

Where were you?

Popcorn park, too.

Popcorn park?

Oh, where they take like the reject animals and shit.

They walk around freely.

And,

you know, I was trying to be, you know, not, I was trying to get a nice, close, as close as I could to it.

Were you taking his picture?

No, I just wanted to see how close I would get before it would move.

Before he attacked you.

And then it moved towards me so fast that I had to run.

It was scary.

He didn't get you, though?

He He didn't get me, though.

Afraid of a bird.

Oh, Q.

I had a conversation with Q the other day.

Well,

in bits and pieces, he called me, and I hear a bunch of noise and rustling around and shouting.

And

hold on, buddy, hold on a second.

Fuck you.

He's yelling, and the phone goes dead.

And then he calls back, and he's in the midst of a road rage incident with someone.

Whoa, I wasn't angry.

Was I?

I was laughing.

No, he, yeah, he sounded maniac.

Yeah, that kind of

laugh that makes people uneasy.

The kind of laugh that's like, all right, it's your world.

It's your world.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, unhinged.

Yeah.

He's shouting at them, and he's doing that laugh.

He's like, fuck you.

All right.

You want to do this, pal?

You want to do this?

And then the phone goes dead again, and I'm like, oh, for Christ's sakes.

Like, at no moment can I be 100% certain he's okay.

I'm fine.

Then he fucking cut someone off in a fucking accessoride bus.

Not even cut me off, like almost drove me into the divider.

That's what God.

I could take a cut off at this point in my life.

And then gave you like a look or something.

Oh,

then it was fucking.

You're the ass.

Yeah, I'm the ass.

I mean, he almost on a BQE, which is raised.

It's two stories high.

I was just in the lane and he drove a bus.

If I didn't jam on the brakes, he would have ran my car into the metal railing on the side.

Right.

Possibly over.

So what am I supposed to do here?

So you got a car.

Oh, no, no.

I just caught up to him and started screaming.

He caught up to him.

Now, the third time he called back, which was,

I got to say, it was pretty funny.

He's just like, I'm like, hello?

He's like, I made that motherfucker miss his exit, which is the best part.

Oh, my God, that made me laugh.

So, you drove away having felt you bested that.

Yeah, I bested it.

I see, because I, too,

I had a road incident.

I can't say I walked away.

There I was driving an Assessor bus.

I was driving, I was pulling into my local food town, and apparently I didn't make the turn quick enough off the highway into the food town because some,

I guess she was like a 25, 30-year-old woman started blaring on the horn and screaming at me to make the turn.

What are you doing?

Make the turn.

As you were, Walt.

So

it's late at night, so there's not, there's only like me and this woman who just pulled into the parking lot.

I don't want to make it to what's it called when you make it worse.

So I wait for her to go inside because she's still looking over at me.

She's giving me the evil eye.

She's like,

her hands are up in the air and like she's all animated.

So I want to try to diffuse it a little bit.

Right.

So you're feeling

you stole her car.

I stay in the car.

Oh, I stay in the car.

Stay in the car until she goes in because I don't want her to fuck her.

But wait a second.

You're a white male.

Aren't you supposed to be menacing every woman you see?

And you're being menaced?

Dude, pull the bitches out.

She's like a soul down.

Pull his card.

Pull his card.

Are you sure she was the girl in this equation?

No.

I'm looking at her, and I can see that, like, she keeps looking over her shoulder to see if I'm going to get out of the car, and I'm like, I'm just going to

wait till she goes in.

Yeah, that's some adult.

That's probably the more adult way to handle it.

Because I don't know, you know, I'm not sure.

She's this angry about me just not turning quick enough into

a store.

Yeah.

I know, I don't know how how it could go if I get out and I antagonize her.

She might have a little Derringer in her garter.

So I go into the store.

I got to go into the store.

My wife was like, we need to get these things.

I can't just, and it's a Sunday night.

It's late at night, so there's really no other place I can go.

I got to go in, even though I'm like, maybe I should just go to a different store.

Oh, your wife was with you?

No, she wasn't.

Oh.

I was by myself.

It was like 9 o'clock at night, or no, about quarter to 9, and the food town closes at 9.

So it was dark out.

So I'm like, should I just wait for her to come back out?

Or should I go in before?

Maybe I should just hook a hose for my exhaust into the car and I won't have to think about this anymore.

So she made her exit, is what you're saying.

She's in the store now.

She's about to make the final exit.

She's in the store and I assume that she's in shopping.

Right.

So I'm like,

I'm going to run in, get what I got to get, and get out before she sees me.

Tampons from the way the story sounded.

Go on.

So I go in, and sure enough, I go in.

She's at the courtesy desk.

She's the worker?

No, she's at the courtesy desk waiting.

As soon as you walk in, you're right that you hit the courtesy desk as soon as you walk in.

And she's there.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

I know the story, yeah.

Does she recognize you or not?

Well,

I was the only one in the parking lot.

There was only two people in the parking lot

because it's 15 minutes till closing.

One of the cashiers is like, isn't that one of the ugly motherfuckers on Comic Book Men?

And for whatever reason now, there's a security guard at this food town.

All the time, yeah.

It's really weird.

I'm like, why do do they need a full-time security guard there all the time?

There's too many out of control, 25-year-old women.

And so

she is standing there, and

she's focused on the door, waiting for me to walk in.

So I walk in and I just.

She was waiting for you?

She was waiting at the courtesy counter.

I think she was doing something else there, but she was looking over her shoulder waiting to.

She's punching her own head.

She's got a bike chain wrapped around the fist.

She's tough looking, too.

This is probably the female Brian Johnson.

That's probably how I feel all the time.

She's that angry over this.

So I walk in and I see her, and I'm like, there's no denying I can't walk by her.

So I go,

I go, come on, I go, you're talking about somebody who didn't pull into the parking lot quick enough.

And I smiled.

I said, just like that.

I tried to bring a little bit of humor to it.

Now you're about to find out why I'm the way I am.

Wait, she was talking about you?

No, no.

So I walk in and she saw me.

Yeah, listen.

I'm walking in, and I have to walk by her.

So I say to her, I go, come on, I said, all that over because I didn't pull into the parking lot quick enough.

Come on.

And she goes off.

She goes off on me.

We put out the olive branch.

She starts.

Smacked his hand away.

She's going,

she goes, you're ignorant.

She goes, you're an ignorant motherfucker.

She goes.

And I go, I go, whoa, I go.

And I look at the security guard.

I look at the security guard, like, what are you going to do?

See, now I like being in this position, too.

Because now you could just dial it way down and let her go fucking nuts and look like a fucking.

She said I was ignorant at least four times.

Why are you ignorant ignorant of what i don't know her hypothesis i i'm again

i look at the security guard and i'm like like it's almost like come on take control of the situation if you were yelling at her like this it wouldn't have gone on for more than a second right and so i go i go i go you are going to put yourself in an early grave i said this can't possibly be shot her

this can't possibly be why you're this angry over this i said i pulled into the i pulled into the parking lot

a tad slower than you would have wanted me to.

I go, I go, this is really what this is about.

She goes,

she looks at this church.

He goes, she goes, he goes, he was harassing me.

She goes, he's harassing me out in the parking lot.

She goes, I go, I wouldn't come in.

I said, I didn't even come in.

I go, I wouldn't come in until you left.

I said, I didn't want to even have this conversation.

And this charter guard looks at me and goes, let her go.

And I go, what do you mean, let her go?

I said, I'm not obstructing her.

I go, she can, she goes, what are you talking about?

Let her go.

He goes, let her go.

And I'm like, well, we're not dating.

Like, what are you talking about?

And she just started to berate me more, yell at me, and say I was ignorant.

And

that's when I turn on the security guard.

And I'm like, you're a fucking cunt.

You are a cunt.

Well, he was, and then I looked at him, and I looked at him like I was like, so I was wrong.

He knew I was wrong.

I looked at him like with those eyes, like a puppy who had just been like, you know, like validate me, security guard.

I was like, what do you do?

You make $7 and I go, why did you do that?

For who is used to do?

He looked at, he put his head down and then took his clipboard and just kind of shuffled away.

He knew that he had probably made the wrong call, but he was like, I can't possibly take a chance on siding with you about this.

Well, that's the world you want, ladies.

There you fucking go.

You can all act like raging cunts and a fucking stupid security guard will fucking be on your side.

It was

disheartening, though.

So he, he, wow, that is an intrigue.

That is a very telling thing he said.

He's like, no matter what you did or didn't do, you're fucking.

No, he didn't.

He didn't say anything.

I took that from his eyes.

He looked

at me with those eyes of like, I looked at him like, I was like, bro, why'd you do that?

I didn't say it, but I was like, I kind of implied to him, like, come on, man, what the fuck was that all about?

And he's like, bro, I'm a fucking invertebrate in a security guard outfit.

I've got fucking zero spine.

He took

his clipboard, looked down, and just went about his way.

And he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Well, I don't blame him.

I mean, I don't even even know what.

You're a different guy than me.

Yeah,

I thought I handled it okay, but even after

I still look like a different guy.

Nice guys finish last, man.

You should have looked last night.

All guys finish last, as they should.

Yeah, absolutely.

What would you have done?

I would feel guilty if I didn't finish last.

There's something you could do.

If you're the security guard?

If you're you.

If you're Walt in that situation.

You could have gone back at her and said.

I have in the past.

Yeah, I know.

But you know what?

As someone who's already that out there, what are you going to gain?

But remember, just, oh, I'm sorry, go ahead.

No, no, no.

In the past, I have gone at, there were some younger female girls, and I took them to task.

Remember, I said,

you're going to die alone.

I said, right.

Remember?

I think I did that.

It says about me, I go, I think I did that because I didn't feel threatened by them.

But this girl, this woman girl.

This woman threatened.

I felt threatened in her presence.

She was that angry and irrational that I was like, I don't want to, she's a time bomb.

Yeah.

But these, but those girls that gave me a hard time, I didn't have any problem like you could take them.

Yeah, I didn't have any problem with like slamming them down on the uh with a nice comment verbally.

Yeah, I couldn't.

It was fucking pretty classic.

You should have just fucking said the same thing to her.

Yeah, the problem is she's in a process of that reality.

And it was so sad is like when I get my stuff, I got to get, and I go out, and I'm like, I'm thinking, I'm like, I hope she's not outside.

I just hope she's not outside.

She's like, you're dead after shopping.

But thankfully, she had left oh man that's that's a that's fucking pretty sad

that you that you did up to even waiting

like waiting like taking time out of your fucking very finite life to be like let me just let this fucking nutty

broad calm down a little bit i hope we learned something from that like you could have keyed her car while she was in there and never

like pushed a shopping cart into it or maybe i should just take that turn a little bit quicker next time or you know dude dude, I live 30 seconds from that store.

You call me in.

I will be there.

To what?

To fucking, you can stand behind me.

I'll just go after her.

Verbally.

Yeah, I'll dress her and the fucking stupid security guard.

I told my wife this when I told her she's probably going through something rough right now.

Her period.

And I was.

Is that what you're getting told?

Was she too old for her period?

Oh, no, no.

She was in her 20s.

She was younger than I was.

She was like in her 20s.

It was definitely a period, though.

Yeah, I didn't mean that when I told my wife.

I didn't mean mean that.

Girls get all worked up when they're on their period.

I just said she's probably going struggling.

Four weeks in a month, you got a one-in-four chance of it.

You just got to take the turns a little bit quicker.

You know what?

What did your wife say?

I'm curious.

She was happy how I handled it.

She thought I did the right thing.

She threw you out of the house.

But I said to her, you know,

she's probably struggling right now with something, and I was just an easy target for her to bet on.

No matter how fast you took that turn, it couldn't have been fast enough for her, probably.

Probably.

So I was just going to take it no matter what.

And you know what?

And thankfully,

she laid into me, not somebody else.

That would probably, you know, that the situation could have got real ugly.

I'm almost like a hero, I thought.

I told my wife.

You know what?

Pretty much.

In a whipping boy, sort of way, I guess.

In a cowed bitch kind of concept.

I mean, there's nothing you can do.

There's only two things.

You can screen back, get yourself worked up.

Which I have with Susan, remember the post office worker?

She killed a woman.

I killed a woman.

God rest her soul.

I didn't want that to happen again.

You littered.

You pummeled her into the afterlife.

And I felt this one,

I probably wasn't going to win.

And

especially when I saw the security guard, you know,

he just has his gun out aimed at you.

Just waiting.

Just waiting.

Yeah, that was

a lesson learned, though.

Wow.

Can't really.

I think there is a lesson to be learned.

You handled it the way you did,

and she owned you.

Pwned you, some might say,

I'm not going to deny it.

Q fucking made a guy miss his exit.

I was so happy because

he was trying to get off that exit.

Because what I did is I got in front of him, right?

And the exit off the BQE, like, you got to go down off the ramp.

And he put his blinker and he was trying to go, and I just fucking got right in front of it and started cursing at him.

And he was trying to get over.

So I just waited and blocked him until he passed the exit.

And then I was like, all right, see you.

That is a win.

Speaking of wins.

Yeah, you got to go four miles out of the way to get back.

Did you guys watch the Super Bowl?

Speaking of wins?

I watched the first half with Sal, and then I left.

Oh, was there a football party?

There was a football party.

You didn't get invited?

I didn't.

I didn't even, honestly, I didn't know until after the Super Bowl that the Super Bowl was happening or who was in it.

Oh, wow.

It was amazing,

one of the best games ever in the Super Bowl.

It was stat entertaining.

It was almost like a video game.

It was that there was no defense played.

It was an arena football game.

it was just back and forth back and forth uh the eagles

with uh a backup quarterback it was a great story man it's a backup quarterback who also puts his face sal told me about this on main street was it at the football party i wasn't invited to no can people can people please can people please uh it is before you say that

it was a family party and i told them i wasn't going and then i was like i texted him i was like i was like i'll come by for the first for the first part of the game

they weren't like friends there you didn't watch the game though Nah, because I know his family, so I was just talking about his family.

I was just re-watching the video of Tom Brady making out with his son.

That's what I want to talk about.

Before we get to that part, though, but it's the Eagles versus the Patriots.

The Eagles got this quarterback, Nick Foles, a backup quarterback, contemplated retiring, came in, played amazing.

Like I said, what I really like is he's not afraid to talk about God.

He puts it right out there, which is nice.

Oh, it's great.

Who doesn't want to hear other people proselytizing about their bullshit religion, religion?

Especially when you're trying to watch an entertainment event.

Oh, no.

I love it.

I can't get enough of it.

I wish it was the halftime show.

Because it reminded me a lot of Tebow.

You know, he had like the way that, you know, the way he

holds himself.

Right.

That's how I saw this Nick Falls guy talking about.

It worked out for Tebow real well.

Well, I mean, it didn't work out professionally, but it worked out spiritually.

I'll tell you that much.

I suppose.

Yeah.

As he's the no-puss-getting fucking dude that he still is.

But the Patriots, though, you know, you know, Tom Tom Brady, right, Q?

Yeah.

The goat, as they call him.

Of course, yes.

I feel,

I felt going into the game that the Patriots were going to lose because

a lot of unpatriot-like things were going on in the world.

He made this documentary that Brian mentioned called Brady vs.

Time.

It's like, I guess it documents his life leading up as a 40-year-old quarterback.

Which is he's doing things that no one has ever done at the age of 40 in the NFL.

I mean, I'm talking, he threw for he threw from more yards than anybody's ever thrown in a Super Bowl game.

500 yards and stay lost.

I know that.

You tell me about the documentary.

Yeah, you can get through a ball fine.

I got it.

Oh, I'm telling you.

And then somebody caught it or didn't catch it.

Could you imagine going out on the field and doing what Tom Brady does at your age?

Dude, I can't even imagine doing a practical joker because

I do it a lot more than he does football.

What?

You're talking about 20-year-old dudes built like fucking steamrollers.

He's hammering you.

You're talking about some guy fucking, what, putting his nose on your car?

How many fucking injuries has this guy had?

He crashed an ATV.

He had a stroke.

He got attacked by a fucking assistant baseball coach.

Broken ribs.

I forgot about the ATV.

You're right.

The guy stroked out in the middle of a fucking punishment.

No, I was on stage in Baltimore.

I had a stroke.

You were a barber.

Well, anyway, so, but he made this documentary

that set the internet up.

He made it about himself.

Yeah, and it's just very, like, I believe that Tom Brady is starting to believe the hype.

Oh, all the shit that everyone constantly tells him because no one dares ground him with.

What he needs is some bitch to be like, asshole, turn a little faster.

Yeah.

If I could go, if I could be Tom Brady's friend.

Right.

If only.

You could have been Freddy Krueger's friend.

You turned it down.

But I want Tom Brady to be my friend.

Face on the wall.

But if I could have been,

I would have been like, Tom,

Tommy,

you can't release this fucking documentary.

First of all, you come across as really arrogant and pompous.

You know, just let everybody say you're the greatest.

Don't make a documentary.

Go do a passion project about it.

I felt that was really, really like you really shouldn't do this.

It's bad karma to make a documentary about how you are besting Father Time.

But what really fucking, I knew his shit was over.

I knew there was no way he was winning a Super Bowl.

Because in the documentary, there's this moment where his seven-year-old son comes in.

No, he's older than that.

He's 11, I think.

Okay.

He's 11, which is maybe a little bit...

He's

makes it weirder.

He's kissing his son on the lips.

Like, he's getting a mass.

Let's set it up because it is even weirder than Walt's

telling you.

In the documentary, he's getting a massage by some lady.

So he's got like the the towel over there.

Because he's an athlete.

You need to get to get those muscles massaged.

Right.

I didn't say she was fucking giving him a happy ending.

She was massaging his shoulder.

She was like working on his shoulder.

We're talking about the goat here.

I want to make sure everything's accurate.

Right, your buddy Tommy.

I know.

So

the kid comes in

and he's like,

he will soon will be.

Hold on.

Yeah, it's creepier than fucking anything we've talked about before.

So the kid comes in and he wants to play video games or whatever.

And

Tom Brady's like, thanks.

Thanks for what?

Thanks for our, or no, I'm sorry.

The kid is like, thanks for letting him play the video games.

And the kid starts to walk away and he goes, hey,

what do I get?

And the kid gives him a peck on the lips.

And he's like, that's all?

As the kid was a little bit further away from him, the kid walks all the way back, then plants one on him that like the combined time that I've kissed my mother on the lips in my entire life was not the length of this kiss, I don't think.

It's unusual.

People are commenting on the moment.

People went, the internet went ape shit.

Wow.

They lost their minds.

And I say, I'm not saying he shouldn't have did it because of the backlash.

Yeah.

He just shouldn't have done it.

It's just been.

Let's Brian Johnson telling you that.

I'm like, whoa.

Well, okay.

We're all sons here, right?

He's only got an approval stamp.

That's what he's got.

He had to fucking

hand right next next on this one.

Sorry, bro.

But we're all sons, right?

We all have fathers.

Yeah.

I never kissed my dad anywhere.

I have to say the same thing, too.

Have you kissed your father?

I don't recall kissing him.

Maybe, I mean, before my memory started, like, did I...

No, probably not.

Do you think about your relationship with your father right now?

Do you think it's healthy?

No, definitely not.

But we could have fucking made out like we were at fucking Inspiration Point every night.

And I don't think that would well i i also can can say i had a horrible relationship uh wasn't close at all right

if maybe we had kissed like that though maybe we wouldn't be talking like that right now i don't know if it's just all about the kissing it's probably the other shit behind it that's like they feel close enough that they can do that like if my father told me to kiss him on the lips at 11

i don't even know what i don't know what i would think I'd be like, I know he doesn't drink.

I think there's our hang-ups, though, but that's what I'm saying.

Like, you know, the relationship that Tom Brady has with his son is going to be a lifelong, close as

any father and son.

Are pretty good fathers, I think.

My brothers, my two brothers have each two sons and a daughter.

Right.

And they're pretty good fathers, both my brothers.

Like, I'm proud of them as fathers.

I've never seen them kiss anyone on the lips.

Not even, like, fuck in when they were younger.

It's just a weed.

I don't think it's.

Your dad's such a man, he considers kissing your mom on the lips, gay.

Yeah.

But I'm not saying that that's the only thing that makes you a good father.

No, I'm saying it probably doesn't make you a good father at all.

It is fucking weird.

Well, I had to go back and I had to say, I said, wait a minute, have I ever kissed my girls on the lips?

Yeah.

I never have.

I would be surprised if you had.

I never have.

I don't know of the last time that I could be like, I even kissed them, though.

Do you think they missed that?

But babies.

Well, you know, but then, you know, I was such, you know, I'm a big Tom Brady fan.

I was just like, well, maybe I should start kissing them.

So

when I was, I was, we were out.

I was just like, hey, she was like, I'm going to go look at the C D's.

I was like, all right, well, I went in to go for the kiss.

Right.

She was like, what What are you doing?

You're out of your mind.

And I was just like, Well, Tom Brady does it.

And he's the goat.

A goat.

That didn't happen.

I never went in for a kiss.

I'm going to cut that part out.

No, don't cut that out.

But I do think it's a hang up on society's end, right?

Like, that's our problem.

It's not Tom Brady's problem.

No, I think there's a reason society has

pushed that away because that's a fucking real intimate thing.

reserved.

People got upset about this, though, too, okay?

So, this is this was a couple years ago, Victoria Beckham kissing her.

Now, that girl's five.

That's her five-year-old daughter.

And I remember people getting upset by that as well.

Obviously, if it's a fucking news story.

Do you think that it's not because people aren't aware of that?

But

it's a galaxy difference when a father and a son do it, right?

Than a mother and a daughter?

Yes.

And that's on us, though.

That's got to be on us.

That's our fault, too.

That's got to be a society's fault, though, for feeling that way.

Right, but everything's on us.

There are still good things and bad things within that.

But why do we make that bad?

We automatically jump to the most horrible things.

Because I instead of the good things that I can kiss anybody unless it's romantic.

Because there's a reason people kiss.

Like, it leads to stuff.

Well,

culturally in this country, it's kind of hot, man.

Kissing's good.

Not every kiss has been hot, though, that you've ever had.

You're talking to Brian Quinn.

I mean,

I'm going to spray that overhead value.

But every kiss you've had has always been sensuous?

Not sensuous, but affectionate at the very least.

Salacious.

But I mean, affection doesn't always have to be sexual, does it?

No, not

this is really your wife talking, right?

Like this is a little bit of a double.

No,

she didn't see the Tom Brady either.

No, no, no.

I mean, like, the affection doesn't have to turn into something.

That is like a trope for like married couples, right?

No.

I'm just saying that you kissed your grandma, right?

Right, but not on the list.

Turned sexual.

My grandmother's been dead for years.

I'm my own grandfather.

No,

there's realms, though, and things are very close.

Like a hug

is enough.

Is enough.

A kiss on the cheeks, I wouldn't even blink twice.

It's the lips that's really reserved for your partner.

And you know what?

You're 99% of the probably the population.

You almost had problems.

But I maintain, though, when I saw that and I saw the internet going crazy, I was like, he's not going to win the Super Bowl this year because of this.

This is going to be.

I believe that he was, even though he threw for 500 yards, that whole team was off their game.

They were making decisions that made no sense, doing things that were so out of character.

And I wonder if it was the kiss had them all bamboozled.

But I maintain, though, though, that if I go back in time,

I wish my dad would have kissed me like that.

I don't know.

At that age?

Any age.

It's not even

even now.

The callback for the second one

gets really fucking out there for me.

That, yeah.

Because the initial one was like a little peck, which is, I think, weird in and of itself.

But, you know, when he's like, hey,

how about a little more sugar?

Friggle a little more and daddy comes in.

I wouldn't mind being on Brady's son, though.

That's a good health.

That's be a strong, tight father-son relationship.

It's going to stay in the the test of time.

They're never going to have a falling out where they're like, they're not close.

You could just tell by that.

I cannot tell by that.

That little bit of tape.

No, I cannot tell by that.

That's a wild assumption.

That will always be in his son's back, will always have his back.

Unless he won't kiss him.

I mean, God knows.

Like, he'll probably be there on the day of his wedding.

He's like, push the bride to the side.

You mean, now kiss the goat.

Walks his son down the aisle and gives her a kiss to give away goat.

I don't know.

I just feel like it was,

I knew it was a bad karma for him to release all this stuff and have all that out.

And he must know that the internet is just going to be too

just going to say horrible things.

Yeah.

And he still does it anyway.

Daddy doesn't give a shit about.

But how can you do that, though?

That takes a level of like.

I don't understand how anybody could do that knowing the kind of onslaught of criticism he's going to take.

But maybe he doesn't think he's going to take criticism.

He's so out there there, and he has so many yes men around him that it doesn't occur to him that it wouldn't be received with anything but like

just adulation and like fervent fucking acceptance, right?

Welcome to the real world, bitch.

He just lost the Super Bowl.

Yeah, and spent a bunch of money on a fucking movie where you make out with your son.

Is this it for him?

Is he done now?

Oh, hell no.

I mean, he's just coming off.

He's MVP of the league at 40.

It was not his fault I lost the game.

I mean, he did everything a human could do, but.

He was MVP this year?

Yeah.

He's playing at a level

that the league has never seen a man do at his age.

So, I mean, but at a certain point, though, he's going to fall.

Those skills erode, especially it's unheard of at age 40 to do what he's doing.

So it could happen next year.

He could just hit that wall, and then just all of a sudden you're not the same player you once were.

I would not have stuck my finger in everyone's eye, though, by releasing that movie.

Or your tongue in your son's mouth.

I would have.

If you're going to be the GOAT, you don't need to make a movie that you're the GOAT.

Right.

It's just recognized.

Yeah, just let everybody else tell you're awesome.

Don't make a movie that,

you know, that.

I thought you guys would like this.

It is weird, yeah.

You just don't do it.

I didn't even know that he was the producer of the movie until you just said it right now.

I thought somebody else made it about him.

I don't know.

I think he was.

But his participation alone is endorsement.

Yeah, I think he, I don't know.

I don't know the ins and outs of the whole documentary.

I just found it weird.

Let's say the kiss wasn't even in there.

I would have been like, this is not.

Why is this rated X?

You don't need to do this.

Do this.

Release this kind of thing after your career is over.

Yeah.

Don't do it now because you're just sending your.

It's just a fucking Jerry Lewis's clown

movie.

Just sit on it for a little bit, wait and see.

So, Tom versus Time.

Okay, that's what it's called.

Okay, so it's a series.

It's like a TV series?

I guess it's like a six-part documentary or something.

Gotcha.

Tom Brady documentary.

It delayed.

The Super Bowl delayed the last episode.

I mean, who gives a fuck?

Oh, it's a series?

It's not even a problem.

It's like a Netflix kind of deal series, or maybe it's on another platform.

I don't know.

But I do think that it was.

Again, it's not.

I wouldn't have.

Again, if I was in Tommy's inner circle,

I would have been like,

let's not do this, Tom.

Let's worry about the Super Bowls,

not the kiss and booths.

And then you would be in Tommy's outer circle.

You think so?

You don't think

he wouldn't want to hear speak truth to power?

Probably not.

If it's all-encompassing, like, you're going to look like a real asshole if you put this out.

Because who's his wife?

Giselle Boonchen?

She's the model lady?

Yeah, these are not people who are used to

little people

telling them anything other than exactly what it is they want to hear.

But hand Tommy.

He's just one good friend, though, to be like, he needs just one.

And I'm just saying I would fill that fucking vacuum.

You could be the guy.

What else would you do aside from the gate shit you wanted to do?

He's got a goat catching with him.

If he wants to just go out and stretch a little and throw the ball around.

Can you throw a wicked tight spiral that's worthy of the goat catching?

Well,

he's pitching.

I'll just catch the balls when I throw it back back, and I'll hand them to him so he can throw them.

Such an easy pitcher.

Let's have nice conversations with him.

Are you trying to get Tom Brady to be your father?

At least to bend over and hike him the ball.

It's like we can play catch.

Oh, what do we do now?

A kiss?

Just probably wrap it up with a kiss, don't you think?

He both goes back and he's like, nah, I can't advise him to stop anymore.

I'm on the inner circle now.

I'll tell you what, though, if he was like, hey, I kiss my friends like this,

I wouldn't, for him, I would would kiss him.

One in Rome.

You fucking asked me to stop hugging you two years ago.

He took me aside.

I don't like hugs.

It's like hugging a cadaver.

If you hug Walt, you're, yeah.

I'd be a little bit more, I'd be a little bit more lively if he was, if he was hugging, kiss him, you know, I think.

You're like a dead fish.

I'm your friend.

He already has a friend that he could hug and kiss, and he doesn't want to do it.

I wouldn't even know.

He's like, you're not famous enough.

I'd like to give the old, you know, like anything.

It doesn't have to do anything with fame.

Can we talk over there for a second?

It doesn't have to do anything with fame.

Because

Q is super famous.

I still don't want to hug him.

Yeah.

It just has to be.

Well, you feel Q is grounded, though, because he has friends that will.

He called me last week.

He called me.

He's like, I know you'll tell me the truth about this.

Right.

Like, I know.

You will speak truth to power.

Right.

And Q is very powerful at this point.

He basically told me I was an asshole.

Yeah, kind of.

See, Tom Brady doesn't have somebody though for the right about the friend.

You're right.

I shelved that documentary and made it work.

He had some kids standing as a son.

Get over here.

That's it.

Does his daddy get any sugar?

Come here and plant one on me, huh?

Now get out of here.

Go play your video games, you fag.

Oh, man.

That is something.

Yeah, I bet you he has no one to be like,

maybe even.

I mean, does the network even say anything to the guy?

I don't know how powerful he is because I don't give a fuck about Tom Brady, but he must have some juice, right?

Oh, my God.

They don't bust his balls.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Tom saw that documentary.

They maintain from the outsiders looking in who report about the Patriots, he's basically

not a teammate.

He's that much like a

like people are like in awe of him, even on his team.

So, like

you're in like a rock band and the lead singer travels by himself, and the rest of the band travels in a different bus because the singer is elevated to that level.

Yes, yeah, he's elevated to a point now where rookies come in and they call him sir.

You know,

are Kevin Jay on the team?

No, you know what I mean.

That means that, like, there's a level of awe that a lot of the players have for him for what he's accomplished.

And you're talking about

the goat.

That's earned.

Yeah.

They should come in and do it.

I don't know, but I think it's dangerous, though, because

you start to blur the lines between teammate and legend.

And legend.

Yeah, but I guess,

I don't know.

I actually, I think they should treat him that way.

With that level of like.

He deserves different treatment than the other teammates.

The other teammates.

I believe so.

Because of what he's accomplished.

Not like everybody else gets shit and he gets everything, but I think respect should always go uphill.

I think that

he earned it.

Did you make that up?

Respect should always go uphill?

I mean, I just said it.

I don't know if I heard it before.

I never heard it before.

Oh, there you go.

Respect should go uphill.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm coining, I'm coining phrases here.

Well, stop pulling your head.

Even speaking English,

it was a good thing.

I'm quoting phrases.

What is it?

I'm quoting phrases.

Coining.

Oh, coining.

I thought you saw quotes.

Difficult.

Coining, coining.

Difficult.

Yeah,

I had a bad feeling that he was not going to be able to pull it off because of all the shit that went down

leading up to the Super Bowl.

Why not just release it afterwards?

I don't know.

Like, hey, we got to get people interested in the Super Bowl.

I mean, of course,

he'll never say that was the reason.

They'll say,

and you know what?

It wasn't his fault.

It was the defense was absolutely non-existent.

But

everything just felt off.

They just never looked, even though they throw for 500 yards, they still looked out of sync, though.

And

the Eagles were just

firing at all cylinders.

Everything they did, they did right.

And then the Eagles fans, from what I understand, tour the place up.

Tour affiliate up.

Torphiliop, up, right?

Well, what do you expect?

I mean, it's not.

It's not that city under the best conditions.

Like, I love the guy, Nick Foles.

I love that story.

Like I said, he's very got a lot of faith and everything, but I almost felt like, man, Philly, I can't stand Philly, though.

So I hate to see that fan base be rewarded with a championship because they're so fucking shitty to everybody.

If you feel like it's your right to fucking hurt somebody because they don't wear the same color jersey as you do.

That's what they do?

They're like bullies and shit?

Oh, hell, yeah, man.

Broad Street bullies?

I thought that was, oh, I thought that was Boston.

That's Philadelphia.

Yeah.

Yeah, I have heard that from Broadstreet Bullies.

Yeah, they're not the team.

I thought it was referring to the team, not the fans.

I was referring to the team.

Oh, okay.

But, you know, they have a bad, bad reputation amongst, they have probably the worst reputation amongst fan bases in America is the Philadelphia one.

In Boston?

Overall.

I've experienced Boston when the fucking night gets dark.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying,

I'm not giving Boston the pass on this, but I think if you poll all fan bases, who's the worst fan base?

Philly will always be either one or two, I imagine.

Now, that's just football or like

flyers, everything just overall they act kind of repugnant.

Is that the right word to use?

That's a great word.

Thank you.

Coin with words here.

I look at you, you're quoting words and shit.

So, if on an IJ punishment, you pop Sal into an opposing team jersey and send him up into the nosebleeds with the fucking

wretched.

Well, they'll recognize him.

They probably wouldn't.

Yeah, so they wouldn't

as just a normal guy going up there.

But, you know, it was still very entertaining.

Did you attend a party or just?

No, I just watched it.

I watched it with me, Cooper, and Sox, and we enjoyed it thoroughly.

I had an

experience that I was, I almost told you about, but I was like, I should tell this on the show because it's pretty fucked up.

And in retrospect, I was like, this is not on the same topic.

I went to the, we had a show in Washington, D.C.,

and

we had a show that night.

So I went to the Smithsonian, right?

And the Batmobile's there.

Which one?

The Michael Keaton one.

It's fucking great.

89.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

Like, they're really restored.

It's great.

And I'm looking, and then I hear that Indiana, this is so bad, dude.

Indiana Jones' whip and hat is in the pop culture part of it.

So I'm like, all right.

So I'm looking around.

I can't find this fucking thing.

So there's this guard there, security guard there.

A black lady, right?

She's standing in the African-American history in front of the exhibit.

Like they have a wing.

They have their own little thing there.

And she's a black woman standing in front of it.

And right behind her is this giant photo of like these three black teenagers sitting at like a whites-only soda jerk counter.

And they're pouring fucking, like these assholes are pouring like,

you know,

soda, you know, milkshakes on them, on the girls.

This was back in the 50s, Jim Crow and Charles.

Oh my God, that's distressing.

Dude, it's so fucking.

And all right, so that's the wallpaper.

Right.

Then it says African American, you know, exhibit history of African-American.

Then there's a black security guard in front of it.

And I walked up to her and I go,

who's that in the end of Jones hat?

And what he's doing.

He's not around here.

Oh, you said, Whip?

No, I wasn't in that.

And then she points to exact opposite from

across the hall from the Black History Music.

And I go, Thanks.

And I glance at the photo and I look at her and I just walk up.

And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm like, I didn't even fucking pray.

I could have fucking done a cursory spin in this.

Like something.

I was like, oh my God.

Unapologetically, like, he fights a Nazi in this one.

I was like, who's the snakes?

He's a free snake.

Are you afraid of snakes?

I was like, look what he has to deal with.

Snakes.

He's dead.

And I was like, I, I got, and I was like, oh, fuck, who could I tell this story to that will fucking accept it?

Well, did you make the

go back?

Because that is an honest, true, and raw reaction to something that you're like,

I'm aware aware I'm not interested in seeing yet more.

Well, I didn't even shit about it.

It's worse than that.

No,

it's worse than that because it never even fucking occurred to me.

Like, I was just there for that whip.

I was there for that in Fedora, man.

Like, it didn't even occur.

Like, the whole of the black American fucking experience was right there.

Right.

And I'm asking a black woman for directions to end these hats.

It never even occurred to me to go in there.

You're they're gonna have back to the future in a few months.

Exactly.

And it's like, not that I am obligated to go in there or obligated to give a shit.

I don't feel that at all.

You know what I mean?

It is what it is.

But just to ask, just the setup was like.

Right.

It definitely makes it look like, wow.

That was not great.

Well, I mean, I think that speaks to, I mean, I don't want to come across as judgmental, but it speaks to

people

in your demographic,

your age, your skin color.

Yeah.

You care more about pop culture than real,

probably.

Not care more, but you're more interested.

What got you there wasn't to recognize.

No, I heard the Batmobile was there.

That's why I was there.

Yeah, and I think that's.

And now they think about it.

Why the fuck is it even in me?

Why is it even in the wing of the pop culture?

This might not be on me.

Because they want to get people into the.

Because most people, like you said, most people don't want to go there to see the real things.

They want to go there and see.

the pop culture.

Roger's sweater was there.

Right.

And few have the balls to make.

Yeah, Bozo's entire outfit.

Archie Bunker's chair.

I saw all this stuff.

It was awesome.

Right.

Nobody.

But you didn't care about it.

It's not that I didn't care.

I didn't even consider it.

If you make an unapologetic B-line to Indy's hat, I'm proud of you.

Yeah, it was.

You're lucky, though, that she could have recognized you and really

took you to task online.

Tweeted about them.

I don't think I did anything wrong.

That's what I'm doing right now.

That's the thing, though.

You don't think you did anything wrong?

Well, no.

But you would.

But

I felt guilty, though.

Of course you don't.

You know it's fucked up.

It's wrong.

You know what I mean?

But it was fucked up that I was just like, oh, excuse me, where's that at?

And I was like, I got to tell the guys.

Is there anything maybe from the Cosby show in there or roots or something?

Something that was on TV

that I could all appreciate.

Is there a black paper displaying there now?

Yeah, what about one of Cosby's sweaters?

You know, one he rupped up by one of the gals with, huh?

Oh,

he was horny that that Cosby.

Yeah, I knew it was the right thing to tell you guys.

Overkill.

Overkill.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

All right.

This would be scary, Walt.

Scare the shit out of you.

Now, don't be scared off immediately when I tell you that

a Brockton mother killed her children.

What kind of mother?

A Brockton.

I guess it's Brockton, Massachusetts, maybe?

That's a town you mean?

Is it in the town?

A Brockton?

Brockton, Brockton, yeah.

Okay.

Mother killed her child.

Mother killed her

children, two boys.

She

vowed to kill someone so that she could obtain a human heart to give to her dying father.

The 43-year-old allegedly showed up ranting at her mother's home with her two sons.

She was rambling about human sacrifice.

Her mother later told police, said that.

She said that her boys were sick and she was taking them to the hospital.

So she left, stopped answering her mother's phone call.

It's a grandma.

Two days later, she collapses hysterical into the arms of a neighbor.

Ba ba ba ba ba.

Cops come.

She had slashed them to death with a kitchen knife.

All right.

So I'll spare you the gruesome details of all that shit.

But

they said her daughter, the mom said that her daughter had become obsessed in the past two years with the Illuminati.

Oh.

A secret society.

Dangerous.

A strange world of rituals, numerology, and sacrifices.

So

at first she said it was, she was motivated by voodoo stuff, and then she said it was the Illuminati.

So

being

a member, does the Illuminati, do they order murders of children for any reason?

The Illuminati?

Or is it just to be in the cool kids club?

Like Tom Brady, he's got to be Illuminati, right?

If there is Illuminati, and you know, I'm going to pull the curtain back here.

If there is, I'm not in the Illuminati.

I have never been in the the Illuminati.

Of course, an Illuminati member would say that.

What the fuck I'll say, so I shouldn't be saying it.

But if there is an Illuminati,

what would Tom Brady bring to the table?

I'm not sure.

Distraction?

We've been spending fucking how long talking about his documentary, Kissing His Son.

We've not talked a single thing about fucking what the Illuminati really cares about.

Which we don't know what they care about, though, right?

Fuck it.

We don't even know because we're busy talking about Tom Brady kissing his son.

They probably called him up that morning and was like, you kissed that fucking boy.

They're like, oh, you're out of the Illuminati.

Yeah.

I would have to think that the woman who did this shit.

They gave him Giselle.

Yeah.

They gave him Gillis.

They gifted.

The Illuminati gifted Tom Brady Giselle.

Have you ever seen Tom Brady?

He doesn't need to be gifted shit.

Did you see what he looks like?

He's

a little out there, bro.

Plenty of good-looking people out there.

He's better than 90% of the models out there.

Well, then you're a case for the Illuminati.

What are you fucking doing?

But yeah, but you're taking the goat down while doing it, though.

No, I'm saying he's part of the Illuminati.

He wouldn't need to.

He doesn't need any way to get yourself.

You're a very confusing guy to be friends with because I'm trying to fucking back up.

What are you talking about?

Man, like this fucking guy.

And it upsets everybody.

That guy's good looking?

That guy?

That's a bad picture.

He looks like a fucking.

He looks like a chemo patient.

What is happening, man?

I swear I'm not.

You're taking the worst picture on the internet of Tom Brady and Sean.

You know what's the one on the left?

It's not Donald Trump, right?

It looks like a hopper from Stranger Things if he fucking didn't have a chromosome.

That's another bad picture.

Oh, come on.

That's another Illuminati.

Somebody's on the bench and he's got that little bit of stubble, and it's all like, and he's got that look, that stern look on.

Jesus, dude.

Okay.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Garrett.

Yeah, the black under the eyes.

Here's your dream boat.

Come on.

Do you think that's a man in easy Illuminati to get Giselle?

I feel like if Tom Brady was here, Walt would have pearly white under his eyes.

I'm not even kidding.

I swear I'm not just saying this.

I think BQ is more handsome than Tom Brady.

Thanks, Doug.

I do.

Look at that face.

Look at your waltz face.

He doesn't agree.

50%.

All right, wait a minute.

Half the people at this table think you're hotter than Tom Brady.

Now, Q,

you look fantastic.

You look marvelous.

All right.

Oh, you build crystal.

You look marvelous.

You do, but that's just a headshot.

Do you know the dude's like six foot?

I mean, he's just not.

I mean,

he's probably got a six-pack.

Like, he's probably got a 12-pack.

He's got so much muscle.

Tone.

Should I Google Tom Brady shirtless or just get one of your pictures from your phone?

Oh, another one's coming.

Here you go.

Oh, come on.

What?

Dude, he's not.

That dude's not ripped.

That's when he

early on.

Oh, actually, you know what?

In Tom versus Time,

he doesn't believe in weight training.

Clearly.

Yeah, he doesn't believe in weight training.

He thinks that's the cause of why people get injured in football so much.

He'd rather be pliable than buff.

So he's got a lot of tattoos, too, huh?

That's not him.

Oh, that's not him?

Okay.

He doesn't have any tattoos.

That's another sports hardy football thing.

No, not interested.

No.

Is that him?

That's his rookie year

at the Combine when he was getting drafted.

Everybody was like, he'll never be a top quarterback.

That's what they said?

Yeah.

And now he is.

He doesn't look like one of them.

No,

he looks like a prisoner, really.

Like they're about to delouse him or something.

What do you think of Giselle?

I mean, she's beautiful.

Is she?

Gorgeous.

Hold on.

Let's take a look at her.

She's a model, which means

what she looks like, she has the foundations to be made to look really good

by profession.

Okay.

But she's also beautiful, I think.

Do you think.

Oh, you know what?

I got to fucking give props to you.

It took me a little while to figure it out.

i don't know why i was thinking about it but when we were talking about alec and how you didn't want to adopt him anymore and you're like he got old on me i was like that's a man reference oh yeah

i didn't catch it until i re-listened and cut the show i was like oh shit he quoted man

that's charlie says yeah

uh

yeah she's very she's

she's pretty she's definitely pretty here she is uh

I don't know, that's just a digi picture.

I don't know.

I'm just saying, I understand where you're coming from, Q.

You want to

You want to believe

in a secret society, but there's just some things that you don't need to make up a secret society to see why

a star quarterback would have

a star on his arm like Giselle.

He doesn't need anybody to set that up.

Right.

It's money and

money.

That's it.

If that guy isn't success.

Yeah, success, true.

Like, if that guy was like a barista at Starbucks, looking like that, no one would be.

He'd be the goat of being a barista, though.

Anything he'd do, he'd be the goat at.

I guess so.

I don't know how many people would pay to watch him do it.

Or

would they be financing a documentary about him?

Probably not.

He might still be kissing his son.

That I can't say.

But going back to your story, though.

So she just.

There's been a lot of Illuminati talk recently.

Taco Bell did a commercial referencing the Illuminati that's right

Wayland Jennings

has come on board and said that he you know obviously I think he's being tongue-in-cheek where he's saying you don't you know you people should not be making fun of the Illuminati okay

I really to me that all started here I think it's another you've never heard of it before here I had heard of it but I never really considered it or thought about it until you brought it up this is another example of tedious thing the world takes

the Illuminati yeah wow All right.

It's popular now because of

us.

We made it trendy.

I'm trying to jump on that.

Well, it depends how you jump on.

If you're going to step on Tom Brady, the goat, to get there, I mean, let's use a different way to get there.

But doesn't that make you the goat then?

If he can unseat a man like Tom Brady.

Oh, no.

But you're the goat of something.

Everybody's the goat of something in their life.

That's not true.

Everybody,

come on.

No, because you're reducing your pool down to one person.

I'm not minimizing it.

I'm saying.

Oh, no.

I don't think

there's any one thing in the world that I'm the best at ever.

Not even close.

You think that that's the case for you guys?

No.

Oh, yeah.

Let me read the list to you.

There's got to be something that you're the best at in the world.

I don't think so.

I'm right down the middle, man.

I'm like,

I'm just average an ever,

I think.

He's an aunt.

Yeah.

We just don't know what it is, but there's some unique thing that you're the best at.

I know there is.

I just don't know what it is because I don't know you well enough.

I don't think so, buddy.

I don't think that there is.

I mean, I'm not penny myself down.

Zero hesitation.

Zero.

Remember that circle of friends?

Yeah.

She should be friends with Tom Brady.

Tom Brady,

remarkable looking or just like...

Show her the picture with the eye black.

What?

What's wrong with this?

Not that one.

You've been missing out on the conversation.

Hold on.

We need your opinion as to whether or not this guy is a dream boat or not.

All right, there you go.

Not that one.

You keep showing the bad pictures.

Okay, hold on.

The iBlack one where he's on the field scowling, brooding.

Yeah, he was just...

Hold on, I had up here.

I'm about to take your team down, look.

Right.

Or your pants at my son.

I don't know where I found that picture.

You're intentionally not trying to find that picture.

No, I swear I had it.

Oh, wait.

Maybe it wasn't under Tom Brady's shirtless.

Maybe it was under the other one.

Yeah.

Let's see here.

Hold on.

Okay, there you go.

Here he is looking stern with his black eye stuff on.

She just walked away before he was.

What?

No, no-go?

No.

Whoa.

Oh, here it is.

Here's the one.

If this doesn't win you over, nothing will.

There you go.

No.

That's my go-to.

I got it bookmarked.

This is five bookmarks to that one photo.

Oh, well.

All right.

So Tom Brady is not as handsome as he thinks he is.

All right.

Still mailing Giselle.

He's bagging Giselle.

He's smooching everyone all over town.

But yeah, so that was.

Oh, actually, I had

a second overkill for you guys.

That was it?

Well, how long?

Wait a minute.

That was it?

There's no payoff to that?

No, they don't know if she's crazy or not.

They don't know if she's crazy or not.

She was ranting and raving about the Illuminati.

Has she been charged?

I don't know.

Hold on.

That'll tell you right there.

If she hasn't been charged, then yeah, she's Illuminati.

If she's charged and going to jail, she's just mentally ill.

Okay.

Oh, it's not.

Let me go back to.

Oh, no, no, no, there you go.

Let's see.

She, what the fuck?

Okay, here you go.

She, during a series of interviews, they discovered the body.

She offered a strange and conflicting set of explanations.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

The killings came one week after two women in East Bridgewater were arraigned on charges of torturing a five-year-old girl and an eight-year-old boy in what their mother described as a voodoo cleansing ritual.

I think what's happening is there's some of these whacked out, like

in Boston?

I think, yeah.

I'm pretty, I don't know.

Is that like a hotspot of voodoo?

Evidently, this block, at least.

Well, I mean, a lot of times when

immigrants move places, they'll

move into areas.

No, I mean, they'll like congregate in areas.

So if this, if voodoo is hot in this particular culture, then I guess you're going to see

a couple of voodoo rituals pop up here in in the middle.

Could a child's heart be put into an old man's body, though?

I don't think a

human heart.

You can't do a heart transplant, can you?

Sure, you can.

I thought they didn't work out.

Like, they're always putting a monkey's heart in.

Why would a monkey's be more apt than a human's?

This is rudimentary.

I'm so shocked that you.

That's the fact that that's a blank.

Okay, thank God.

What?

Let's see.

The family's home life was marked by violence and financial instability.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

This is my autobiography.

That's your Comic-Con.

That's my bio.

I should make that.

I should put that in there.

Because nobody reads those fucking things anyway, and only Telem Steve Dave listeners would be like how they're doing.

Right.

I'm going to change my bio to that.

So they're going to, Victor.

Oh, my God.

It's a really long article.

Hold on.

Let me get all the way to the end.

could you put a young child's heart in an old man's body like that?

Yeah, I think you could.

They probably shouldn't release that information out there, though.

What's that, that you can do that?

Yeah, because people are not able to do that.

Well, there's a whole black market trade in other countries where not hearts and shit, but people with kidneys.

People will sell kidneys so that rich people

can.

And it's like a...

It's a thing where sometimes

they do.

They'll kidnap people, take their kidney, and send them on their way.

But there are lots of willing people, too.

Because if you have a few bucks and somebody's like, I already got two kidneys, I only need one in some third world country to make a few bucks, right?

How long have we been going on this one?

Uh, this one, hour and five minutes.

Wrap it up here.

Yeah, I think I'll save this and I'll save the other one for the next overkill.

Um, I don't know if people can handle much more of that.

We should

do uh

we should do a commercial for uh

uh charity pod that I believe is getting released next week.

Next week, maybe?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, by the time this comes out, it'll be maybe another couple days until it's available.

Yeah, because

we got another member of the FKY

son is having the same procedure that the last cochlear implant pod we did.

Yeah.

What is that about, do you think?

Like, I don't know anyone who's gotten a cochlear implant aside through you, these two people.

Is it possibly, is it something that the fathers are getting on the job?

That is the concern.

Yeah, that is the concern.

That they're coming into contact with something and they're passing it on in there.

There's so many chemicals and stuff like that, and your fire is so many.

But you guys got those respirators, right?

Yeah, but I mean, it's...

Kind of like we got to get there.

We can't put the respirator on.

No, you put the respirator on, but there's just no getting around.

If you're in a fire, it happened to me.

Like, my skin,

you're in a fire and the water goes over something and it drips on you.

It's just bringing all these chemicals into your skin.

You're sweating like crazy.

Right, so it's all getting in your pores.

So that is the concern that they're that they're dealing with and this particular guy is a 9-11 guy too he was there

and god knows what you know what right that's a fucking that's just a crap was the first guy a 9-11 guy no okay john was after uh but this guy is and how old's this kid uh he's young he's like five four five and he just can't hear and he's a good kid sweet kid did he start off with hearing problems or did it develop as he grew older no they they knew and luckily he

he had the first guy to walk him through it.

This is the problem.

This is why

we did the last charity pod.

This is the reason we're doing this one.

It's a rare, it's a rare thing.

So insurance doesn't.

They're going to pay up right away, right?

Of course.

No.

It's not the case.

Like, there's no, there's not a lot of, like, if it was cancer, they know the book.

They got it.

This is what we do.

This is what we do.

When it comes to something like this, that's not that.

You know, insurance companies don't cover this.

They'll cover this, but not that.

Oh, not the implant, but we'll cover, you know what I mean?

It's all bullshit.

And meanwhile, the guy's really struggling, and so I don't know.

I mean, everybody really, all our listeners really helped me.

Have we

and has the buzz gotten around the fire department that you helped?

No, because I don't really I tell people to keep that on the so they don't know that I was that tell them Steve Dave and was part of helping I I try and keep that out but if you want I can make it I'll put my name in I'll keep your name

yeah well you don't have to keep your name to Sylvia but tell them that your two friends in Red Bank, New Jersey are on the front lines trying to help these people.

I will make people know that.

I will say this.

John calls me, the guy we did the first one for, like, he called me as, I mean, when did we do that last year?

He called me

in two years, maybe more.

And he's like, I want you to know that.

Like, my son, a piece fell off and went into the toilet.

He goes, and I.

Can you come fish it up?

So there I was, wrist deep.

And

no, and he was like, he's like, it was this little piece.

He's like, and

to replace it with $700.

And I'm telling you, if it wasn't for what you guys did for me, he's like, I would be in trouble.

It's just reality.

Wow.

You know what I mean?

So I will make sure that they know that you guys were on the forefront.

Right.

Yeah.

Make sure that you tell them we were on the front lines.

Not the doctors, but us.

So we're going to do another

cochlear implant two pod.

That's going to be the reason.

You saw that coming.

Yeah, I didn't see that one.

I would have called the first one, but here we are.

We haven't even done Making Hay 3.

We're already on Cochlear Implant 2.

Yeah, that's right, right?

Oh, Make and Hay 3 came out.

It's called Taken Hay.

That's the unofficial Making Hay 3, which is available now on our

TelmsteveDave.com because Cryptozoic Man is out of print, Brian.

You can no longer get copies, so that's why we've offered now those.

I found that out this weekend.

Yeah, so that's no longer available, so now we are selling the four bonus pods we did with Cryptozoic Man on TelmStevedave.com.

How do we get to it?

We did four of them?

Yeah, Takin' Hay.

Oh, yeah.

Fiasco pod, Cryptozoke Man pod, and the Serial Killer pod.

So

the listeners got their Making Hay 3.

Yeah, finally.

So this is great, guys.

Like, it really, everything helped.

We're going to do it again.

So we'll put it on Bandcamp, I think.

That's probably the easiest.

We're going to give it to them.

Or we're just going to give it to them.

We'll do what we did last time.

We gave it to them, and then we tweet out their link.

Okay.

So all the money just goes, because the money comes through us.

You know,

they get my tax paid.

So they don't want that.

They don't want that.

Look for it soon.

Listen for it soon.

Yes, please.

And thank you guys very much, everyone who supported the last one.

What's the topic going to be, Kill?

Wet their appetite for it.

We're going to do great traders in history.

Yeah, we got the text this morning.

I was looking, and I was just, that's an odd choice.

You were excited about that.

Yeah, because last time we did Serial Killer, and I wanted another one that we just rip on people for.

And I was like, what about

to just fucking kick around some cowards?

Yeah.

I think some would say, you know, I mean.

Yeah, your answer.

Can I tell you?

Can I tell you?

Yeah, go right, go right ahead.

Because this was, hold up.

Yeah.

You guys have built this up as if it's going to be like, I can't wait to hear this.

And you are going to be.

It's your own fault.

So this morning we were like.

What are we going to talk about on the cochlear tupod?

I go,

I said,

okay,

Dem is betrayal.

We should each blah, blah, blah.

We go, I say who I'm going to do.

I say, I'll snag this guy if no one else wants it.

Johnson goes, you got it, Walt, you want guy folks, folks?

Folks, yeah, folks.

And Walt Flanagan goes, no, I have mine.

It's a bit more current and personal.

Like he has a beef with one of us.

That's on you guys, just automatically assuming that.

He doesn't give him, I thought.

And then I was like, well, whatever Walt means, I can't fucking wait to hear it.

I guess I should play it up as it's going to be amazing yeah I shouldn't tell people that it's going to you're going to be let down by it is amazing right it is amazing it is shocking and people will

be will be like bamboozled by the uh by my revelation of who bamboozled is right

it's a callback and uh all og listeners will be uh

will be rewarded if they pick up their cooklander and to find out my uh my traitor and they will find out each other's um

stories of betrayal because I solicited some stories of betrayal for

listeners, like how they've been betrayed.

A lot of cheating.

A lot of cheating going on out there.

It seems to be that.

I had a story, but I think I'm going to switch it now to my fucking friends telling me that I'm not the best at anything in the world.

You're the goat at nothing.

Knife in my back.

How about that, man?

But that's your autobiography title, like Brian Quinn, the goat of nothing.

Yeah.

Nobody's a goat.

Nobody's goat.

You got a little billy goat beard and horns and shit.

Challenge these Dave.

When I smile,

you throw your heart away.

When I lie,

I do it night and day.

Now the night is gone, and I'm on a way.

Cause the dark is coming, the warmest fair.

You can hear the mouth and you hear me say:

Throw it all, throw it all, throw it all away.

In the cold,

I am submerging now.

And I lied,

my shadow tried my hide.

Now the light is coming, I wanna stay.

And the light is white, I really wanna stay.

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me say

through it over and over and over

I want your mercy, don't let me drown

Hear me now, hear me now Can you hear me now?

I want your mercy, don't let me drown

Hear me now, hear me now Can you hear me now?

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