#350: I am the Patriarchy

I don't I know you don't probably won't feel anything.

You're fucking

you don't have a soul.

Oh, you narcissistic cunt.

What is wrong with you?

God invented dicks to be sucked by anybody who wants to suck them.

No.

Go Penn.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave, your one-stop source for all child molestation news.

What?

Yeah.

Sandusky back in the news.

What?

What?

Not Jerry Sandusky.

I'm talking Jeffrey Sandusky.

Pleads guilty.

That's

Jeffrey's his son.

Oh, this is a family.

I mean, this is like...

This is turning into vulgar.

Yeah.

This is turning into vulgar level reality.

With little kids.

What was the name of those plumbers in Vulgar?

The Finellis.

Finellis.

The Sandusky's.

the The Finellis got nothing on the Sandusky's.

No.

I think the Finellis would look at Sandusky's and be like, ooh.

At least we're raping full-grown adult men, like, not little kids.

But this guy, now,

does he get a little bit more cred in the jailhouse because it was females

and not males that he's going after?

How old are they?

Well, that's the other thing.

They weren't as young.

This is his son?

That's his son, son, yeah.

That's his son right there.

Oh, my God.

The 14 counts.

Are you sure they're related?

100% positive.

I mean, especially since the opening line is: one of the sons of former Penn State football assistant coach Jerry Sandusky has pleaded guilty to 14 counts of sexual

child sexual abuse.

His fucking family.

So it's crazy, right?

The girl was 16, and she reported that he sent her text messages asking for nude photos.

There's no better idea than getting it, like,

in print or electronically confirmed that you said this shit, right?

What do you want to pictures of a naked 16-year-old anyway?

It's weird, right?

I'm not saying there aren't like attractive 16-year-olds, but even they don't look fully formed yet.

It's more like the potential of the phone.

But

even if they do,

even if you have a 16-year-old that you're like, oh my God, she could be 18.

There's 18-year-olds out there that you can look at.

What is it?

What is it about?

Because that's such a small age discrepancy that there has to be something inside him that's like, it has to be illegal.

It can't be someone who's reached the age of consent.

And it has to be something.

It's got to be.

It's weird, man, because honestly, even 18 is too young.

I know it's legal, but I would be like, I don't know about this.

Yeah, I mean, at this age, I don't know how old he is.

I don't think it says here.

Oh, he's 41.

So he's my age.

Yeah.

With a.

Yeah.

Due to go on trial next week.

He

pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors and 12 felonies under which he would serve three to six years in prison, but he could get as many as eight.

But I don't.

Is that sexually abusing someone if you ask for a picture?

I have no clue.

Oh, wait.

Oh, and then he said that another minor told her that he asked her to perform sex acts on him when he was 15.

Again,

how is this guy running into all these kids?

I really wish you had told me you were going to lead with this.

I would have told you I don't think it's a good idea because

I was hammered during the week from some PSU fans.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I wanted to read you this one.

This one, this one.

This one, it takes us to task

from a Penn State University loyalist.

And he says.

I always appreciate other views.

You want to hear this view?

I thought this deserved to be heard.

Okay.

Because I want to hear.

God invented dicks to be sucked by anybody who wants to suck them.

Go Penn.

First off, this is a longtime listener, and he's never had a complaint about the content that we riff about.

Until now.

Until this episode.

And that just goes to the same.

It's just the same as everybody else who's complaining about this.

That's all that means.

It all that matters is something finally hit home, and now you're fucking pissed, and now you felt the need to write in.

Okay.

The Penn State discussion you had,

this is what he's upset about.

He's a die-hard Penn State fan.

Of course.

And has been since he was a child.

He didn't go to college there because they didn't have his major, but a lot of his friends did, and we all share the same ideals about the whole situation.

Sandusky was a dirtbag, piece of garbage, and a fucking twat.

Every Penn State fan agrees with that.

Yes, it was embarrassing to learn what happened.

and for a little bit we didn't know how to feel.

The word you were looking for is horrifying.

Yeah,

the second you hear it.

You don't have to be like, How do I feel about this guy molesting?

Like, I'm mildly embarrassed by this.

Like,

okay, pretty much no.

There's more.

Here to regrets, right?

Oh, yeah.

We've definitely, like, after he listens to this episode, he is no longer a Telme Dave fan.

I got to get the feeling that he's not going, that he may have a different viewpoint on Telm Steve Dave we have to ask because from what i'm because what what i think is about to happen or um what may be coming down the pike for this listener who i won't be giving out his name um

uh

okay we didn't know how to feel but something came out of the whole situation

we became closer as a community of penn state fans

bonded over child molestation

we stood together as one to raise awareness of the child abuse no one at penn state would toss their degrees away because they would feel ashamed or embarrassed.

We are proud because we didn't give up on the victims.

We bounce back and we're proud to support PCU again.

Wait a second.

I want to know how he supported the victims.

How did they support the victims?

Well,

I'm sure there's other.

I'm sure he's not getting into every small detail, but just by saying you support him, you support him.

He's like, blanket statements should be good enough.

He's like, I hashtagged something.

It was quite enough.

Thoughts and prayers, something I was a while ago.

The football players that had nothing to do with the incident should not have been punished.

And Sandusky and the pricks that tried to cover it up should have.

Easy as that.

The reason they rescinded those sanctions on the program.

I don't know how to feel about it, but that was pretty easy.

The reason they rescinded the sanctions on the program was because no one involved in the program during the Sandusky

era was working in the program currently, because all of them were fired or arrested or both.

Punish those involved, not the innocent ones.

All the new information that comes out is all repetitious.

We know what happened and we know who was involved.

Enough.

A couple kids got fiddled.

Doing some horseplay.

This is the type of guy that's like, we're still talking about save slavery.

If new information came out that was announcing some new person was involved or something new in general, then great.

But it's all the same stories and all the same people that were involved.

I feel you should hear from the other side and know that we are aware and we are not forgetting the situation.

We are making awareness of child abuse and doing what we can.

Give the fans of Penn State a break because we weren't involved.

We were just left with the mess that was caused by a bunch of idiots.

Well, that sounds like Nazi Germany to me.

Like,

real good Germans.

I'll tell you what, this has convinced me.

I now know in this situation who the real victims were, Walt.

I used to think it was those kids, but now.

No, no, it's the drunk fucking fans and the bleachers.

Yeah.

Haven't they had an

shamed for cheering.

Like, we already know

that he fucked a kid in the ass.

Did he toss a salad?

Come at me when he tosses a salad.

Something new.

Anything.

He says he still loves the show.

I don't know about it for this week.

But just wanted to give you guys the other side of the PCU

situation.

There is no other side.

There's no other side.

Johnson says there is no other side.

I say there is no other side.

Everybody knows that the fucking football fans today or the football players today were not molesting kids back in the 70s.

We all got that.

But again, are you sure, though?

What if there's one person who's not up to date on the situation?

A time-traveling football player?

What if they don't know that football players only play at a school for four years?

What if they think they could stay there

and play their whole careers out there?

Oh, like it's the NFL.

Yeah, people aren't.

You assume everybody knows collegiate football and how it works and everything.

Right.

I only know because of you.

I don't know much about football.

But I would have thought, yes, that the guys that were playing in the 70s and were being wrestled with those kids are still there.

They lived there.

They went to school there.

And now they play football there.

Oh, my God.

I mean, and I want to, I would love to know.

But like you said, though, if you're saying that we all, like, everyone knows that the current team and the coaches have nothing to do with the scandal.

So, what, though?

So, what are you saying, though?

But, like,

what does that mean, though?

So, like, should we just stop talking about it then?

I mean, the stuff that I brought up was not old news.

It was new reports, you know, basically covering some of some similar things.

But

I think the thing is, just like

the Holocaust,

Germans are still taking shit today for it.

This is like third generation since the Holocaust.

Nobody's like, hey man, we came together as a community.

Could you just fucking let it go with the Holocaust shit?

Like,

with this, is like

it just came out rather recently, and it was a fucking

unbelievably horrific thing that this guy did, and that other people overlooked.

Or

put on a swept under the rug.

Right.

Overlooking is

a tame word for covering up.

Right.

Right.

I mean, Joe Pod definitely.

No doubt about it.

He's like, I don't want to fuck up my football season.

Or, no,

get the fuck back there in the showers with Jerry.

I want to fuck up my legacy.

Well, this was in the 70s.

Did he have a legacy

by then?

Oh, yeah.

He's a legend.

Right.

Well, they're building statues and shit.

Oh, if only that statue was still around so somebody could go knock it over or spray paint something on it.

But the problem is, and also, like, we came together as a community.

It's like, what are you talking about?

Like, how many people go to a college football game?

Thousands of thousands?

Hundreds of thousands.

Right.

Like, tons of people.

Like, what do you mean?

Like, you and your friends?

Like, how the fuck can you even care about a college that you didn't go to?

What the fuck, bro?

Like, I grew up watching Penn State, and therefore, like, this hit me.

Oh, you narcissistic cunt.

Like,

what is wrong with you?

How could you even write that?

Like, you should just be like, hey, man, whatever they decide to do

for these kids is if they sold the fucking stadium or the whole fucking school and gave the money to the kids, anyone should be like, that seems right.

You know?

Not like, oh, hey, we got it.

We got it.

This is nothing new.

Can we just move past it and watch somebody throw a ball around?

Can't we go to a ball game for Christ's sake?

I mean, for why?

Why are you punishing us?

I know.

What did we ever do?

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

I mean, and if you remember, like when all that news came out, like, there were people defending Jopa, and there were people fucking

students acting as if none of this should be brought to light.

It's like, what the fuck?

Look, I get it, man.

I know what it's like to feel passionate about your sports team.

And if, like, if something came out

on this kind of level about, you know, Jersey Devil related,

It would be

a very, very

sticky situation for me to be on.

Oh, suddenly it's a sticky situation.

Suddenly, it's not cut or dry over here.

But it would be, it would be, I couldn't.

We just watch them hit the puck.

But I mean, I couldn't.

Watch everybody pay.

I couldn't sit there and root for the devils or wear the shirt all the time.

I would have to.

You have to just realize at this point,

find a different collegiate team.

Yeah.

Go root for another college.

Go root for fucking

anybody else that's not involved with

this.

Any other college that you didn't go to is okay.

And I'm sorry I had to read that.

But you sent it to me.

I didn't seek you out.

And you sent your opinions to me, knowing full well that they could be read on

the program.

And I'm sure that

this is not what you wanted to hear, but you need to hear it.

Yeah, you sound foolish, and you should have never written in.

You insulted us, too, which means that you should go to what, Lou Crane?

Who do we got this week?

I don't know, man.

You can make up for it.

On Team, Tell him Steve Day.

That's your new team.

Yeah, yeah.

Team TSD.

There you go.

What's wrong with that?

No molestation, guaranteed.

Fucking impacts your life the exact same way.

Yeah, man.

I'll never understand it.

I'll never understand

the mentality of a hardcore fan.

Oh, I'm a hardcore fan.

You have it, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I rise and fall.

Now, lately, for the last five years, it's been there's been no expectation.

So losing has been falling.

Yeah, so losing has meant uh very little.

But when the Devils were a contender every year and then they didn't and if they didn't pull it off, it was devastating.

There was it was uh the lowest of the lows for me.

Um so I understand how it feels to um you know to root die hard.

Um but

when it's a situation like this, I mean, as soon as you put Kiddly Diddle

in the middle, it's hard to then have an argument.

That was quick, right?

That was like,

man.

But,

yeah, this poor guy, I mean, he's just a little lost.

Yeah.

It's got passion, but it's directed

for the wrong team.

It's directed at the wrong team.

And really, who cares?

Like, like you say, Q, it doesn't affect your life.

You didn't go to the school.

What does it mean?

Really, if you're listening to this right now, take a step back.

Don't get mad.

Just sit back and be like, if they win or lose, how the fuck does it affect me?

Unless you bet money.

Unless you bet money.

In that case, a grown man made a wager.

Where's that from?

We've been saying that for years.

That's from Sopranos.

Sopranos.

That's right.

Yeah.

When he's talking to Meadow.

A grown man made a wager.

It just feels good, though.

It feels like you won, though.

though.

It's dismissed.

The guy's life is destroyed.

Destroyed, and he acts like...

Oh, it's Robert Patrick, right?

Yeah.

Here's something interesting, though, man, to show that maybe

child molestation isn't

biologically determined.

He was

one of six adopted children of Jerry Sindusky.

Oh, shit.

And he had, but not shockingly, he was a stalwart supporter of his father.

Did he get touched?

I don't know, do you think?

And then maybe he's like.

I don't know.

Now,

amongst, are there like all-stars amongst like that section of the prison, like the

trauma lusters, where they're like, shit, man, Jerry Sandusky got this many, but his son only got this many, so he's like lower on the

serial killers have that in terms of body count.

I bet you like they're so fucked up.

I don't know why I find that not as sickening

as

children.

Because

a serial killer ends a life in totality,

where a child molester ends a life and then that person has to keep living.

But I bet you they're so warped that I bet you and they have such egos, most serial killers, that I bet you

they would love to be in a room with another serial killer that they had more kills than to put it in, to throw it in their face, that they're superior, that they're the better hunter.

It's so weird.

Is it weird?

Like, if one of you guys, let's say Brian,

like,

killed someone, I would be like, well, I gotta go visit him in prison.

I gotta put cigarettes in his fucking PX, whatever they have in there, and shit like that.

But if one of you guys would accuse of a kid telling me, I'd be like, oh, fuck that scumbag.

Unless I had to go visit Brian, it'd be like, why?

I'd have to know why.

But it wouldn't be like, here's your cigarettes.

It would just be fucking like.

Yeah, like, what the fuck, dude?

Like, what is wrong with you?

You're well, I mean, it's definitely

a brain disorder.

Oh, it's a disease.

Oh, so now we got to forgive everything?

No, no.

Just because you acknowledge it's a brain disorder doesn't mean you can't punish or you don't punish.

But if there's, but there has to be.

They've said that before: that there's something going on.

So they're not even responsible for it.

Well, I don't know.

Like,

there are things that, like, in my past that I've been like,

behaviors that I'm like, this was out of my control.

Right.

But it really wasn't.

It really wasn't sometimes.

I read an interesting article that was like once about

criminals and stuff like that, where they said, like,

they are, they are, there were, this thing was almost saying there's no such thing as free will.

That you are, and every decision you make is the exact

output of your conditions, of what you have almost no control of.

So, like, if you were in that situation as that serial killer, you would have done the same thing.

Like, if everything that happened to that person happened to you, you would be powerless to do anything besides what they did.

I'm not sure I agree with that because there are plenty of people who, like,

have had worse upbringings than some of the serial killers, and then they turn around.

I'm talking the exact, like, they're just.

Okay, I see what you're saying.

Basically, you have no free will.

Like, you're dictated completely by everything that happens to you.

Like, you're the sum total of your experiences.

It's all nurture, none of its nature.

Not even nurture.

It's almost like mathematical.

Like if this and this and this happens to you,

this is what you will do.

And there's no way to fight that.

So nobody's really responsible for anything that they've done.

Huh.

Like it's crazy.

I like that.

I realize that, but it's nuts.

So yeah.

So anyway,

the Jeffrey Sandusky guy.

I don't see this as being his exact words, where I guess he's like, he's sending text to this teen.

First, how to get her phone number.

He told the teen in text that it's not weird because he studied medicine.

I guess because he's asking for nude photographs

and instructed her not to show the text to anyone.

The girl's mother told investigators when she confronted Sandusky, he told her he knows it was wrong and inappropriate.

Is that something you would say?

I'd be like, what?

I didn't send her any texts.

Like, isn't the default to lie, not be like, yeah, I know it was wrong.

There's got to be a way to.

There's got to be a way to.

I mean, without a doubt, there's a way to know who sent the text.

Like, they could just go to fucking wherever and be like,

it's really difficult to get away with that kind of shit these days.

I mean, even like if you watch

forensic files, there's like some lady who had her husband killed, and she was on the AOL chat from a while ago, and

she's trying to convince everyone that

he made these up, that it was

that the

she was,

I guess, like photoshopped or he had the conversations with himself but AOL is like well they were on at the exact same time and here's the transcripts because I guess they keep all that shit and they're like

you're lying and then he's the investigator's like and it's fucked up when people lie right to like to these investigators he's like did you ever send a videotape of yourself in the nude to this guy and she's like no and you can hear like in her voice like she may as well be going like yeah

but she says no and they're showing you the videotape of her and it's like you're right there like you're right there why say anything just be like man i want a lawyer yeah lawyer up no lawyer there she's denying everything

and then eventually she and the reason she got busted was because it was it was kind of interesting like it's a lady who's married to some guy who owned like a junkyard And then she's having an online affair with this cop who lives like a thousand miles away or something.

And she's sending them videotapes and they're banging.

And then I guess she wants the cop to come and kill her husband because she's told,

listen,

guys, if you have a girl online who you don't know and they're like, hey, my husband or boyfriend abuses me or does this or that, like, they don't necessarily need to be believed immediately

without, you know,

without regard to like

their anonymity.

I mean, really, you don't even know who this person is.

But the cop goes and fucking kills the guy and

goes back home.

Yeah, he's a cop.

Jesus Christ.

Goes back home.

Oh, that was the thing.

The lady told the cop that she was pregnant with twin sons or twins that were his, and the husband beat her so bad that she lost the kids.

The sonogram or whatever that picture is, I forget what it's called,

was her friends.

She was never pregnant.

And then once the guy found all this out, but like the guy didn't find out that the kids weren't his, he's like in his suicide letter that he wrote to his parents, he was like,

that guy, you know, he killed our children,

my kids.

You know, I love them.

Like, all this weird shit.

And then he fucking blows his brains out.

And the cops find this tape.

And then it all, you know, eventually the lady goes to jail because she's full of shit.

People are crazy and horrible.

Yeah, it's just like

it's really fun.

A lot of people poisoning each other.

Chicks are always poisoning their husbands.

I don't know how anybody thinks that they will ever get away with a crime.

Like, it's crazy.

Well, my thing is always like, okay, I commit a crime, right?

Yeah.

I murder someone.

Sure.

Now, what I'm up against

are God knows how many trained professionals, trained.

Hundreds of years of experience.

To find someone like me, to bust someone like me, to look for little things that I've done.

you know in an interview like one little thing somebody might see it and like some of the shit Troy tells me I'm like oh my god yeah like

first off most criminals seem pretty fucking dumb

and secondly it's like there's just like eight things like right off the top of his head he's like bang bang bang bang bang like this is if this is what you look for if people are lying

and like what you remember any of them like stuff um i think it was like one of them was was just your eyes eyes.

Like if you say something to me, like if before I answer, I look up,

just like no matter how briefly.

Right.

That's it.

Like, it's not like he's lying, but it's a sign of something like that.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

No, serial killer,

it's because it's so random, right?

Like, you go out tonight on your way home, you kill a fucking random person you have no attachment to.

Right.

Even if I leave my own DNA on the scene, there's how the fucking attract it to me.

Well, you're not in the codex?

I probably am in the codex, but DNA is not as book-solid as you think.

It's like,

it's not as like, as I learned from watching Bojack Horseman this season,

it's not like a sign pointing to somebody.

You're kidding me.

Yeah.

Yes, it is.

What's up?

What's it got to do with his match?

It just comes up at a matchup.

That's not what they said on Bojack.

That's not what they said on a cartoon about a horse.

Why would you believe that, though?

It's a smart show.

Fucking good show.

Did you see that episode where his inside voice was talking to him the entire episode?

I was like, that's depression.

I was like, that is what being depressed is like.

It was the most realistic depiction of depression I've ever seen in my entire life.

I was like, holy fuck.

It was insane.

There was a guy just not too long ago.

But DNA can't be 100%.

Of course, it is 100%.

I don't know if it's 100%, but it's 90%.

It's 99.99999999999.

They're like, we could exclude

the chances sometimes are, like, six billion to one that it would be someone else.

And the person's still like, I didn't do it.

It's nuts.

Oh, this guy is.

Oh, this must be him.

It's an MMA fighter.

No, wait.

Yeah, yeah.

A kickboxer who appeared on Big Brother, but he was ejected from the house in seven days due to a video that surfaced showing him violently hitting a woman who he was calling a whore.

He was hitting her with a belt, Jesus Christ, and telling her to count the bruises.

What, they videotaped it?

But then

he started a whole diatribe on Twitter about depression not being real.

And then there was a video of him kicking a bat in half,

which

was pretty impressive.

They're saying that DNA.

He looks like a dope.

Look at him.

It's very, it's not foolproof.

DNA is not foolproof?

Bojack was right.

Not only is DNA not foolproof, but

is not foolproof.

Is not foolproof.

Meaning that

it's the most accurate

way to.

It can be

unequivocal under ideal conditions, which are when officials have a large quantity of a suspect's well-preserved genes, when it's clear how the DNA arrived at the crime scene, and when the lab sequencing the sample does not make any mistakes.

But there are very few cases.

This is the Johnny Cochran thing.

There are very few cases in which all these conditions are met.

This means that.

And murders are committed under ideal situations, though.

No, of course not.

Right.

So you have to, you can't like.

But you can.

But like, the defense, yeah, defense lawyer will be like, well, the only way that this evidence would be legitimate, it was if this murder was conducted, was committed

in the laboratory.

Right?

If so wise, we should throw out DNA now.

I'm not saying that.

I'm just telling you what I what Bojack said.

Bojack said.

I don't want fucking popular science, which is like a little magazine.

Yeah, popular science, yeah.

I don't trust them either.

Okay.

You don't care about this kickboxing depression denier, huh?

Q would.

You know, anybody who denies depression, I'm sure you would have a

well, he does say one thing that, okay, so here's what he says depression isn't real you feel sad you move on you will always be depressed if your life is depressing change it okay that is sounds like the sounds dopey

however he does say something here

he's he's getting closer it is a circumstance which they must change most quote-unquote depressed people are unhappy with their lives too lazy to change it it's that simple that's most not all that is some yeah but i mean i don't know who takes according to him i don't know who takes a woman beating kickboxer all that seriously why in terms of medicine so uh fuck i already forgot his name uh andrew tate

but uh yeah he took some shit but why why why go on and say it even like i don't get it i don't know

i don't know well you know what i do know

FanDuel.

Are you going to bet on how many fucking kids are going to get molested?

Then go to FanDuel.

I guess you're trying to get FanDuel to not be our sponsor anymore between the last couple weeks.

No, man.

Do they have fantasy college football?

I don't think so.

I mean, I could be wrong, but I have never heard of someone

compiling fantasy football with collegiate players.

I would imagine they do, but I've never heard of it.

It's a big pool.

Maybe we could start it.

How do you do that?

Sony, make us a website.

Fantasy football fans, the wait is nearly over.

Football is back.

Which means fan duel is back.

People love this football.

I think it's here to stake you.

Fantasy football for everyday fans.

New contests starting every week.

No busted seasons.

I don't know what that means.

Something for everyone.

Lots of contests to choose from, starting at just a dollar.

Choose your team and watch your score real time.

People must get excited by that, right?

Fantasy football.

You said more than regular football.

Sal had a four-hour fantasy draft the other night.

Four hours?

Yeah.

Fantasy football, yeah.

Oh, really?

He's a big Pittsburgh fan.

Yeah, he is.

A Steeler fan?

I didn't know he was a big sports fanatic.

He is.

He likes the Big Ben, huh?

Well,

we used to have season tickets in the Yankees, Sal and I.

And over the years, we've lost the ability to track baseball.

But he's been able, and I haven't been able to.

I've watched like one soccer game a year now, but

he's maintained, maybe there's only 16 games, I guess.

Yeah, football, yeah, yeah.

But he's really stayed in it.

He's a Steeler fan, huh?

He is a Steeler fan.

Wow, Steelers, I know that.

Why?

Because he because of Brad Shaw and the Steel Curtain of the 70s.

That's where most people will be.

Lynn Swan.

Oh, yeah, there you go.

I think you're throwing out.

I don't know why.

I'll ask him.

I'll get back to him.

Yeah, I'd like to know what makes a guy from Staten Island a Steeler fan.

It's got to be Franco Harris, Brad Shaw,

Jack Hamm, Lambert.

Should I talk Sel?

Ask him if he likes Jack Hamm,

Chuck Knoll.

Let's see.

New England Patriots were embarrassed in week one.

Tom Brady's too old.

Yeah, I'm sure every time a team loses, you know, especially a guy at that age,

they write him off immediately after one game.

Wow, the entire world.

Yeah, it's crazy.

I mean, sports fans are absolutely a nut.

I mean, their emotions are pure.

It's like roller coaster.

One week he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and the next week he's like, oh, he's too old.

Retire.

Yeah, so next week our guy will be like, fuck Sandusky.

You guys were right.

Tom Brady, I mean, you can't, like, short of going Sandusky, you will never be able to look at him and be like, what a loser.

He loses every game from now on.

Oh, yeah, it wouldn't matter.

They would have said he just should have retired a year earlier.

That's the worst you could say about him.

Well, it certainly wasn't his fault they lost

that first game.

And they're playing another tough team.

Well, I don't know if they're really a tough team, the Saints, this week, but it's a sexy matchup.

Drew Brees and

Brady.

Is that making you chubby, Q?

I feel you.

Drew Brees and Tom Brady are going head-to-head,

drilling the ball into tight areas.

Whoa, is there any tight ends?

Tight ends in the ball.

Brady's got

his Gronk tight end.

He drills the ball into these tight areas.

I know.

All these terms.

No wonder he went running back to the locker room.

But yeah, and I think Drew Brees is one of the few quarterbacks that has a winning record against Tom Brady in the whole league.

What happened to the guy you like, the Christian dude?

What was his name?

Oh, Tebow?

Tebow.

He got a raw deal, man.

He got fucking booted out of the league for being Christian.

What?

Yeah, he was.

He was too Christian.

He was too Christian.

The NFL only wants people to praise God when they score a touchdown, not continuously.

That's the only time you can praise God.

If you score a touchdown.

And if you're all-pro, too.

If you're an all-pro, then you can praise God all you want.

But if you're just kind of running the mill and you praise God too much, the NFL has no use for you.

Thibaut was running the mill?

I thought he was like a broken.

Well, he wasn't a ⁇ he was

a very

average, You know, some would say below average quarterback in the skill set, but he was a winner, though.

And that's all that.

Like, he could throw only two complete passes the whole game, but two of those passes might have been touchdowns.

So the two things you're not allowed to do pretty much are praise God and do funny dances after you score a touchdown.

No, you could do that now.

Funny dance is a bit more.

But he doesn't come back.

Yeah.

They changed the rules.

You can celebrate now more.

I love it.

You know what I found out?

Baseball?

Yeah.

Hazing last season was made illegal.

In Major League Baseball?

Yeah.

I can't believe grown men haze each other.

Oh, what are you talking about?

Doesn't it usually have like pants down and like shit in your butt?

You know what, Penn State?

Penn State just had a g another contract.

Like, I don't even know about that.

There was a major hazing thing where someone died.

Really?

Just recently.

Oh, was that where all the the guys were sort of sitting around being like, we don't know what to do?

Yeah, he had broken his neck and they didn't call up anybody for help.

Yeah, I think that was at Penn State, too, if I'm correct.

Penn State hazing.

You know what?

Let me finish.

Hold on a second.

Let me finish this.

One thing at a time.

This guy who wrote it, he didn't even...

He failed to mention that.

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Is Sal playing on FanDuel?

If he is, I hope he's using our code.

I don't think he is.

No.

He'd be better.

Where is he playing, FanDuel?

He's a choker money.

I wonder.

He is playing.

I don't know.

They have like this big.

They don't ever

ask you to get involved?

I wouldn't.

I'm in all my firehouse pools.

I just give them money and they give it back to me if I win.

And if I don't win, I don't hear about it.

Oh, really?

You still in the fireman pools?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, nice.

Nice.

But not, I just

communicated.

I pay Pal the money at the beginning of the season.

Yeah.

And then hopefully the best sometimes.

It's great because when I win, he's so fucking annoyed.

You don't know shit about it.

Money goes to money, like all that shit.

Fucking Texas book it is.

Oh, it's great.

How do you pick your team, though?

Or does someone pick it for you?

It's a box.

Oh, it's just

a big box.

Do you remember?

God, this is going back.

But like, back at the wreck, you guys had a football team.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It was heated.

And Harts Grove, for whatever reason, couldn't come two weeks.

He couldn't make his picks two weeks in a row.

So I just picked the team.

Yeah.

And I won two weeks in a row, and Timmy was going ballistic.

Our boss, the guy at the wreck, he was just like, no, no more.

Because I'm like, I remember I'm like Buffalo.

I was like, it's like an octopus picking the fucking world.

of the women's in.

I'm like, I like girls in the buff, so I'm going to pick Buffalo, I think.

Stupid ass shit like that.

So instead of learning something from that, he.

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Boyd, we're prohibited.

All right, let's look at this hazing thing now.

This is something else.

This was just in May.

Pretty recently, right?

No accident, grand jury says.

All right, Mr.

Fucking

big-time email motherfucker.

His death was initially ruled as an accident, but they looked into Timothy Piazza, a Penn State University student, someone who actually went there, who died of a night of excessive drinking, the direct result of encouraged reckless conduct.

Okay?

Well, how's that anybody's fault?

Well, hold on a second, because it's a fraternity.

That's what fraternities do.

These are innocent frat boys.

You can't hold them responsible.

I mean, they should have called an ambulance.

Well, the fact that they didn't call an ambulance.

Well, they face charges.

They were probably drunk, too.

They also furnished alcohol to minors.

These are all illegal.

This is all illegal activity, though.

He had a fracture at the base of his skull and a ruptured spleen.

It wasn't until 10.48 in the morning.

Nobody knows.

They're detailed in a grand jury.

The evidence includes an account of hours of surveillance camera footage inside their house where prosecutors say he died after hazing on bid acceptance night for new pledges.

Can you sometimes like someone will be like, oh, yeah, I was in a fraternity or I was in a sorority.

And I look at it and I'm like, really?

Because you seem like not that type of.

Like Brian Lynch is a friend of ours who like, I never, he is so

exclusionary.

Like, I would have never thought Brian Lynch would be in my friend.

I remember he liked that camaraderie thing from that.

Well, isn't it like weird stuff?

I don't know that they do.

My buddy Spear was in a fraternity down in Philly, Philadelphia.

He's Drexel University.

And they hated that

image that it was all partying.

And like, he naked Twister.

Yeah, he was like, that's not where we are.

That's not what we are.

Blah, blah, blah.

And I went to a few parties with him, and that's what it was.

That's exactly what it was.

But he was like,

he was like, that's not what we are.

That's not what we are.

So it fucking.

What's it?

What now?

Why did baseball ban it?

Oh, this is great.

So, which to me was always

a tradition.

Like in the firehouse, like you get hazed, like you get your balls busted.

You have to.

So,

what happened was last year

they had the haze the rookies by dressing them in dresses.

They dressed them like the Rockford Peaches.

From

Lately,

and then made them stand in the hotel lobby and take pictures with people and stuff like that.

And transgender rights activists were like, why is that funny?

You're making fun of transgender people.

It's like, it's funny because it's a regular straight dude in a dress who feels embarrassed to be in a dress.

It has nothing to do with you or your fucking cause.

They don't calm down.

So MLB banned hazing.

Well, I mean, that's because

they're a business.

They're looking at the bottom line.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, ultimately, though, like, transgenders make up how much of baseball's audience do you think?

Could they fucking bring it down, MLB?

Yeah, but

everybody has probably a transgender relative, though.

Yeah.

Everybody might, must, have.

A relative.

How deep are we going?

Because, you know, how far does this family tree?

I might be the transgender lucky relative if that's the case.

But I don't see any others around.

Is it me?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm a Rockford Peach.

You know, but like, if you're, and if you're

and if you're rooting for your baseball team and you find out your baseball team did that, you know, you might feel like, you know what, I can't identify with my team

acting this way.

If they were making fun of transgender people, then I would 100% be like, that's fucked up.

But dressing like people from a movie, like women for, like, I don't know, it just didn't seem

to be humiliating, though.

We know what it is.

Let's not put

our rose-colored glasses on.

We know why they're doing it

because it's quote-unquote humiliating.

Be careful.

You guys took a lot of shit last week for that fucking

matter.

I got fucking plenty of

real Mexicans.

Not fucking college students.

No, no, I've got a real Spanish person, too.

And he wanted to know

if it was another race up there,

would it be okay to?

Oh, absolutely would.

South of the Amazon?

As far as I'm concerned.

Is there a black man man

on the billboard?

You'd be okay with it?

I've got plenty of

people who were.

I think, like most things in life, everybody feels how they feel.

There's no answer.

So you're wrong, yeah.

But we don't have to be careful at all, Q.

No, you're not.

Not you and me.

We don't have to be careful at all because you know why we have to be careful?

Because we're woke.

Because we're always right.

No.

The Mexicans are not happy with you guys, man.

I have plenty of Spanish.

And I also have a Dominican who I'm counting as a Mexican.

Who says people won't tell the difference?

I'll grant you that.

Disappointed in you.

You're racist.

Disappointed in me.

Yeah.

It's just like, it just doesn't cannot identify.

Used to be able to identify with you, but can no longer identify with you.

Because I like south of the border.

Okay.

No, well, just a bunch of people.

It's not just that.

I don't give a fuck.

It's not just that.

Burned to the ground.

I don't give a shit either way.

It doesn't matter at all.

It's your angry tone about things that

should matter.

Oh, should it?

Should it matter to me?

Because it matters to you, fuckhead,

writer.

It should matter to all of us.

No, it shouldn't.

Everything's got to matter to everybody.

That's the problem.

Everyone thinks everything has to matter to everybody.

That is the problem.

That's like Chelsea Clinton is fucking summed up.

Everything matters to me.

So much so that she'll just retweet fucking news articles that aren't true.

And you're a fucking monster if you're like, I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Here's some of the.

I've got

responses that I got.

Okay, good.

South of the Border is plain ignorant and no different than blackface humor.

Oh, no.

All right.

Yeah.

Where's your fucking comment now?

I'll bet you for Halloween.

I could go out with a fucking sombrero on, but if I'm in blackface, it's going to be a totally different story.

And who is it?

In this world?

Who is this?

Somebody from fucking Berkeley?

Doesn't matter who it is.

I mean, all it matters.

It does matter.

It doesn't matter because white motherfuckers are constantly weighing in on shit.

Saviors.

Look at that name and then tell me you think that's a.

Oh, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy.

Saved our asses.

Saved our asses, and now you're ready to be like.

You're telling me.

This guy's name is Pepper.

Pepper.

He's a listener.

How do you save our asses?

Pepper.

He came on and he's one who

rescued Macon Clay.

I'll always be grateful for that, but I'll never, ever weigh in.

He said that it's.

Wow, pepper.

So that's what made it so he couldn't identify.

He only knows somebody else.

Sure, his name's not Jalapeno.

This is what

really.

Hot pepper.

Did you see it, by the way?

I did.

What do you think?

This touches into this.

Okay.

Because I want to read this because

it's the saddest thing.

Read that.

I haven't thinked.

If this doesn't make you feel horrible.

I'm on your side.

And if it isn't.

I'm with you.

I'm on your side.

I know you probably won't feel anything.

You're fucking

fucking patriarchy, white.

You don't have a soul.

If you don't feel horrible and feel sad that a person has to feel this way,

then

I don't know if I could be your friend anymore.

He doesn't want to dwell on these things about

it because

it's just the price of admission being an immigrant in America.

He feels that...

That's how that's point.

I thought that was sad that he feels that's just the way it is that he has to put up with seeing something like South of the Border for being that's the price he has to pay so he's not an American an American immigrant was he was he born in America

he says

that's the price of admission being immigrants in America he feels that okay so I don't I don't think it's I don't think he's

I don't think he's an immigrant I don't think he came from South of Britain it doesn't matter where he's from I mean where he's from originally or if you or if it doesn't matter the fact that there's a people out there who think oh well this is just the cost of it.

You're just fucking immigrants.

I mean, we're all immigrants, right?

Fucking, my mom was born in Italy.

I know.

Yeah, but you guys don't have fucking a fucking south of Naples.

Talk about what about Sue Mario?

I had to deal with it.

It's a me, Mario, my entire life.

Every time I call them, that's what I see.

Honestly, how is that different?

How is Mario being like, it's a me, Mario, different from Pedro?

Is it?

Do you think it's the same thing?

I think it's the same fucking thing.

One's accepted and one's not.

Yeah,

if you take Mario in his plumber gear, whatever the fuck, painter gear, and the cartoonish Italian accent, really, I mean, Pedro doesn't even have a voice.

So I would say fucking Mario's maybe more offensive than all of South of the Border.

You got it, would you?

Coming out against Mario, Pepper Rivera?

Well, well, well.

I mean, it is.

That was supposed to prove if I had a soul?

Oh, my God.

I'm like, I'm at least something a little stronger.

Now people are just like,

because there are certain people, certain part of the population that's like, well, that's just the way it is.

What can we do?

Can we use the word marginalized so we all sound smart?

You can use it if you want.

You don't sound smart.

You really sound like a fool right now.

Oh, damn.

Uh-oh.

Oh, no.

I don't agree with the woke.

Because you don't think it's sad that there's people who are like, well, we just have to accept that's the way it is.

But I don't know that.

The price of being.

Rivera, Mexican.

Spanish.

I don't give a fuck.

There's a whole wide-ranging Hispanics.

I know I'm counting my Dominican.

I know I'm counting Senior McFly.

And isn't Spanish.

It's Spanish.

Yeah.

Not Hispanic.

Not my Spanish.

Any number of Central American, South American countries.

Okay, so you're saying.

Merico, Cuba.

Hey, man, I like fucking Hispanics.

I just love south of the border.

But there's different levels of.

You couldn't do a black face south of whatever.

Right.

But you're like, but it's.

Hey, what are you guys getting all tight about if it's south of the border?

Let me tell you something.

If there was a black face south of the border, I would go.

No, you wouldn't.

I would, too.

I'd be like,

you've got to see what this is like.

It's fucking unbelievable that they did this.

But I would also go to that giant fucking ark in Kentucky that they're building.

That Christian thing.

There's like a huge Christian theme park.

It's like a billion.

They're trying to make it the Disneyland of Christian parks.

I don't know if it's underground.

Sure.

I'll go, Red.

And then, like,

but I don't understand.

Well, how is that even in the same context, though?

Because I would just go so I could report back and be like, so I saw something really fucked up.

Did you guys know there's a blackface theme park?

You probably go to the park, South of the Border is technically a theme park.

Right.

Okay, rest stop.

Yeah.

Okay.

So there's a blackface-themed rest stop.

Nobody would go to that.

So why do we go to South of the Border then?

I think Richard's point is that it's not the same thing.

It doesn't seem like it's the same thing.

But we have from somebody who is more,

I think.

More at stake.

Yeah,

has more dog in the fight than you do.

Perhaps.

Chihuahua in the fight.

Dad, nice.

Just

saying,

there's more to it than, like, that makes me sad, though, that somebody would write that, though.

It's just the price I have to pay.

He didn't say that.

He said it's the price of admission.

So it's very possible that he's fucking butthurt on someone else's behalf, which is like 90% of the people that you hear from.

I'm telling you, a whole bunch of fucking Mexicans were on Twitter being like, don't care.

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure some don't and some do, but if some do, then.

Oh, fuck that.

Because the second you start caring about, or the second you start dealing with people like, well, I care about this, if it's not important to you and it's not important to the world at large, again, like you said.

I'm supposed to be by you, though.

I'm supposed to now care about everything.

It's not possible.

Am I going to be a phony and be like, oh my God, when we went to Florida, I drove by south of the border, and I kept driving because I was so offended because the price of admission in this country for an immigrant is fucking south of the border.

Like, I didn't think any of that.

I'm like, hey, Sage, you want to see a colorful place?

Right.

You didn't think any of it.

But now that you've heard it, though,

it should make you go, it may just pause for a second and be like, hmm, okay.

I didn't see that point of view.

Now I have heard it.

And if you're still like, I I don't give a fuck.

I heard it last week from you and him.

Yeah, but I think coming from, I thought coming from.

He does not give a fuck, though.

Yeah, why do I got to care?

He doesn't have to care.

Well, then,

I think, though, that it shows

a lack of humanity, a lack of character.

It shows he's got his own fucking problems.

Yeah, there's lots of stuff I do care about, but like South of the Border is not one of them.

I'm not saying care on a level where you go and

you actively do something about it, but for you to be like,

to hear a point of view, a valid point of view, and be like, I don't care.

No,

I'm not saying I don't care that

this is Pepper's feeling.

I don't even know if Pepper's upset.

I like him.

I like the guy.

The time I spent with him,

I'm sure that helps a lot.

Yeah, I mean, coming from a soulless fucking hustle like myself.

Pepper is one of the good ones.

Is that what you're trying to say?

Is that what you're committing to?

Pepper worked under the table for minimum wage.

I threatened to get him deported if he didn't do good.

Yeah, no.

I don't think that's the case.

I think there's plenty of immigrants here who don't feel that way.

I don't think every immigrant is a good idea.

But there very well may be plenty who do, though.

Let me tell you something.

I feel worse for Q in this whole Mario thing.

I'm not playing Mario Kart anymore.

No, I regret that I bought it two weeks ago.

I just realized how offended I am.

It is, but even like St.

Patrick's Day, like, what is that?

It's not offensive, though.

How is it not offensive?

Because Ireland

has adopted it and has and has

made it

like part of like, come see Ireland, you know, the commercials.

And you see a little leprechaun dancing in the city.

I don't think that's what ever happened.

I've seen it.

I've seen visits.

Maybe I dreamed it, but I still saw it.

I've seen commercials like Tourism.

Who made those commercials?

They're on stations.

Like, you visit Ireland.

Go visit Ireland.

They show you these decrepit castles.

And then they show a clip of like a street.

And Walter, you're here to celebrate St.

Patrick's Day.

No.

They show a clip of a street fair.

And sure enough, everybody's in green.

I don't think so.

And there's a guy fucking in a, definitely in a green fucking outfit fucking dancing.

Right.

Now, does this offend you, being Irish?

No, it doesn't.

Why not?

Because that country has adopted that.

that as their own.

They've made it their own.

They ain't got nothing else.

They don't have anything else to get you there.

What are you talking about?

They've got all the fucking green valleys and shit.

They've got historical people.

But being a leprechaun is not fucking...

You're saying they've only got one day a year to fucking draw people in.

But a leprechaun isn't viewed in a derogatory way, though.

A leprechaun is put up on a mountain.

Week after week, I'm offended.

You know, it's fucking, it's heralded.

You think that entire culture being reduced to a fucking dancing drunk small person is not magical.

Like, that's fucking, that's part of, like, that's crazy.

That's no less offensive than like Speedy Gonzalez or anything like that.

No way.

Because, you know what?

Frito Bandito.

The fact that Ireland has.

Who knows?

Yeah, I don't think it's.

That's Pepper fucking Rivera.

They don't show those commercials anymore.

I mean, those cartoons are not.

Who are those offensive?

I just think the.

Well, I mean, there's a lot of fucking In the Wonder Brothers cartoons that offend.

No, I get that, but how is it?

I don't know if you noticed, Q, that.

I'm not kidding, but how is.

I'm dead serious.

Like, I would read, like, how is Speedy Gonzalez offensive?

He's smart.

He outsmarts everybody.

Just with his speed, though.

Yeah, but so what?

He uses his gift.

So does the fucking flash.

Like, what is offensive about Speedy Gonzalez?

Are you asking me?

I'm sure if you look it up, you can find out why it is.

But in Ireland, though, if you were to

take away the leprechaun.

Yeah.

Nobody goes there.

No, I think you'd see, I think the

economy would

crash.

Do that many people go there for fucking St.

Patrick's Day?

My only exposure.

I was going to say, my only exposure to it is the St.

Patty's Day parade in New York where everyone gets wasted.

Right.

Beyond wasted.

I mean, I'm not going to, you can't lie.

You can't sugarcoat that.

I mean, yeah, it's been,

America has treated it as

just a blotto fucking holiday, another day to get completely shit-faced.

That's what I love about America.

We appropriate shit to get drunk, whether it's fucking Cinco de Mayo or fucking St.

Patty's Day.

It's like, hey, can we drink on this day that means something to other people?

Well, fuck it.

Let's do it.

Yeah, but I don't think.

I mean, I wouldn't, I would.

They love Speedy Gonzalez in Latin America.

The Hispanic American Rights Organization, League of United Latin American Citizens, call him a cultural icon.

But what

did the white colleges in fucking New Hampshire say?

That's That's what I care about.

I don't believe any networks are showing those cartoons.

They said they shelved.

They did it.

Down there, probably.

Cartoon Network bought the rights and then shelved it.

It has been on the air for a year because ethnic stereotypes, but I don't.

Because he wears a sombrero?

I think he also had a partner who was a slow mouse.

A slow mouse?

Well, I think that's playing into

the stereotype of.

Like they're lazy?

Yeah.

They don't slow people from Mexico?

I don't understand.

I'm not trying to argue this.

I literally don't understand why is that.

He's just a fast message.

Why do you think they shelved him?

I don't know.

That's

what I'm learning.

Wait, but they're making a movie out of it.

You're learning.

In December 2015, it was reported that an animated film was in development, Warner Brothers.

Okay, so in April 2016, it was announced that Eugenio Derbez.

Okay, so maybe that's it.

They took, maybe the fact that it was a white person voicing him, they were like, that's not right.

And they fixed that with this.

But it can't be that hard to sand the edges off Speedy Gonzalez.

He's fucking awesome.

He's fast, man.

And also, it's like he literally just...

He wears a yellow hat and a little red kerchief, and that's it.

Fred Armison did his voice, so he's been around recently.

It seems weird that they, I don't understand why.

If anybody out there knows.

Because somebody, like, like you say, somebody at Cartoon Network was like, is one person going to be offended?

Well, fuck it.

Let's not do it then.

He was featured in the Looney Tunes Robin in 2015.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter that he's a fucking hero to the Latinos.

The League of United Latin American Citizens.

He's fucking a cultural icon, they call him.

He's dope, man.

Look at him.

Thousands of users registered their support of the character on the Hispanic.com message boards.

How is that racist, but Mario not?

I don't know.

That's crazy.

I don't know.

I also saying I don't understand what the point is.

So maybe if I heard it, I'd be like, that's right.

There's new rules, brother.

There are new rules.

That's true.

That brings me to it.

Let me say one.

I'll say one more thing, and that is like, I'm just fucking around with pepper and shit.

I don't like anyone to feel bad

for any reason, unless you're a piece of shit and you deserve it.

But you're an immigrant, you come here, and you're made to feel unwelcome, or people are like, go back to your own country, that kind of shit.

I get get that, but

I would be lying if I were to say that this was close to my heart south of the border.

No, no, no.

I don't think it should be close to your heart all of a sudden, but I think when you hear a different point of view, I'm saying if it doesn't make you stop and be like, well, and give it

a fair and honest consideration,

then

that could be a sign of

sociopathy.

No, it could be a sign of the son has become the father.

Why, Edgar doesn't care about.

I don't know.

No, no, I'm just talking about, you know, I'm not saying not literally your father, but like, you know, how you get older?

Like, you know, and then you become, you know, you become that, you become scared and.

Scared.

And, you know, you just become like.

Scared.

You have, you feel like, you know.

You're scared.

The young generation grew into the old generation.

Right, and that will be every generation because this generation that's mouthing off now will eventually be like, oh, you fucking kids told me.

I don't know.

This generation's got something.

They got some fucking

morons.

Gusto.

I don't see this generation turning into.

They're passionate about what you shouldn't be able to say.

But they've got more passion and they also have the social media,

the weapon that

will...

People are already tuning it out, though.

No way.

No way.

It's more important than it's ever been.

Social media?

I don't know about that.

I think that because everyone has a voice, and

those are the people that get heard.

But at a certain point, people step back and they're like,

is it working?

Social media is being turned off, being tuned out.

I think

that's why that Donald Trump is a response to.

I said this two years ago.

Right.

But it just made it even more.

Like, there's more on social media about hating Trump.

That's more of that on the internet than anything at this point, probably.

We're going to get to the point.

Unless it's Trump for 20 fucking years.

We're definitely going to.

No way.

No way?

No way.

I called it the first time.

I'm calling it now.

The only way we don't get to the four is if he doesn't want to do it.

That's it.

Yeah, I don't see him getting a second term.

Well, we'll see.

I don't know who they're going to put up against him, but boy, I mean,

you got fucked.

I mean, it should be a slam dunk, but.

It is not going to be a slam dunk.

He is going to win again.

Based on what?

What has he done?

The same shit that the last one was based on.

Everybody's getting so fucking annoyed at everybody else.

So you're like, oh, fuck you guys.

He has more Trump.

That's what's going to happen.

Double Trump for you.

That's it.

All right, what about it?

So it, yeah, I went to see it.

What'd you think before we even get into that?

I thought it was like, to me,

it was okay.

It came, to me, it came down like kind of like a slasher movie mixed with

Stranger Things.

Yeah, I thought it was, I was like,

it was, yeah, it was like, whatever.

Yeah.

Which is a shame because it should have been fucking awesome.

If they put some of this shit in the book, like Henry Bowers, for example, the mullet kid.

Yeah.

He was a psychopath.

Well, this is my problem.

Okay.

What was the name of the black kid in the movie?

Mike Hanlon.

Okay, Mike Hanlon.

Now, I read the book 15 years ago.

I don't really remember.

Talk about being reduced to like nothing.

This is what I was like, because I was like, I don't even remember his...

Like, I don't remember.

But then I was like, when the bully was going after him.

I don't know if it was as simple as like, we don't want you in this town.

No, it was not.

It was.

I was like, what the fuck?

This is vanilla it was a blackface roadstop of a of a scene like they're they're picking on this black kid and like it's supposed to be racist but it's so fucking watered down that literally the bad guy the fucking psychotic bad guy who's not a clown who's just his way of being racist is like we don't want you in this town And that's it.

Get out of my town.

Yeah, get out of my town.

I was like, this is the 80s.

Do they really think this is how people talk back then?

I don't even think they would talk like it now.

That's fucking nuts.

I was like,

that is fucking whitewashing.

What did you want to hear, though?

I don't want to hear anything, but I'm just like, they're making it seem like black kids in the 80s who were getting picked on by bullies like that had to deal with a light, I don't want you in this town.

And deal with worse, you're saying.

Yeah, I think it should have been realistic because otherwise I'm like,

would have been uncomfortable to watch.

Yeah, but was it in the book?

Was it more?

That's what I wanted to say.

It had to be realistic.

100% in the book was like way out.

Like dropping the N-word left and right and stuff like that.

Yeah, just like, and any slur you can think of is what that is.

I just think that that they, I'm not saying that they should have done that, although why shouldn't they have, but I think they overcorrected too much to the point where I was like, they, I was like, whoa.

Like, well, I mean, I saw the

kids suffering and making it like

it's a like it's a minor annoyance.

Yeah, I was like, it really seems like they didn't even, like,

how important was this to the movie, overall movie, though?

No, it was just,

it was there that they were picking on the kid, but in two different situations, they were picking on him because he was black, and they were saying, We don't want you in this town.

And I was like, That to me is like after school.

That's not what black people had to deal with.

Like, that's not what they had to deal with.

Is that what they got to deal with today?

Yeah, back then, for sure.

I'm like, holy fuck, man.

That's so.

Like, was it set in the 80s or was it

set in the 50s?

The movie's set in the 80s.

Okay.

And I, look, I know the other thing is, I also don't want a young black actor to be on set being called the N-word left, take after take.

I get that too.

I would hate it.

But to me, it had the.

You're an actor now.

I am an actor now, that's right.

You're an actor now.

You've been in horror movies.

What if you were cast to be that guy who had to say that to that kid?

I wouldn't like it.

I get it.

That's what I'm saying.

But to me, it was almost weirdly disrespectful in a way that that's what they boil it down to.

I was like, that's.

It was like TV movie type stuff.

Yeah, and I'm like,

that's not enough to get across what this poor kid fucking went through.

Yeah, you didn't, you didn't feel it.

Like, like, maybe the fat kid, you felt a little bit because he got cut with a knife.

But everyone else was just like, I've seen people in real life bullied way worse than that in school.

Yeah.

And this was supposed to be like the town bully psychopath who, like, him and that guy, Patrick Hoxtetter.

They're crazy racist.

Right.

Just like insane.

Like, they're insane people.

And he's like, I don't want you in this town.

Yeah, he just seemed like he had like anger issues.

And it was like, I was like, oh man, they're did doing a disservice.

Because how fucking, like,

I don't know, man.

It just felt to me like

they did

fucking, it was just a disservice to what people went through with this show.

That's the reason it made so much money is because they make it palatable for the masses as a horror movie.

That I understand.

And that's.

Was it good?

I didn't think so.

Yeah, like that.

I think it was.

I don't think it was bad.

I think it was just.

Pedestrian.

Here's it.

Let's watch it.

Didn't it also feel like any time an adult was in the movie, they were either crazy or a child molester?

One of the two.

There are no.

Father was so over the top.

There's no.

Oh, he was awful.

That dude was awful.

There's no normal adults in the movie at all.

And

the kids, like, I don't know.

Like, I feel like you sort of had to have...

You had to know the book or the story at least.

Otherwise, you're like, what the fuck?

You would be like, what the fuck's going on?

Who are these people?

I was like, I read the book, so I understand what's going on.

I was like, like, but do you have any idea who these fucking people are?

And my dad was like, no, no,

I don't know what's going on.

It's fucking weird, man.

How is the clown aspect?

Clown was good until they started CGIing him up, and then I'm just like.

CGIing and doing the Japanese, like, moving super fast stuff.

Every time it was CGI, it was like,

it doesn't look real.

Was the other it better?

No, that sucked.

Was Tim Curry better?

I think Tim Curry was better.

I liked him more.

He was definitely creepier, I thought, because he looked like a fucking real dude and clown.

Yeah.

I don't think that they got across that

it was the leper.

I don't think they got across.

I don't think anybody would have an idea what the fuck is that.

Oh, what?

Leper?

Yeah, because they each run into different monsters.

It manifests, the creature manifests itself as whatever scares you the most.

So there was like one kid who was on all these medications and he was afraid of infections and shit.

So a leper, obviously, you know, disease.

But they never explained that.

Nope.

Like, if you didn't know that's what was going on, you just thought there was a leper hanging out outside of a house.

Right.

And remember in the book, too, he was always squeezing his own dick as he's chasing the kid and shit?

I gotta read this book.

You just said that word made me like, does leper and leprechaun have anything in common?

Is there something connected to being a leper and being a leprechaun?

I don't believe so.

No, because it's L-E-P-E-R and L-E-P-R-E.

Yeah, it's spelled.

Oh, so it's different?

Oh, okay.

I was going to say, although I would love to see a leper, like, go for Halloween, be a leprechaun.

Yeah, it would be a little bit different.

But made a lot of money, huh?

I mean, it's the highest-grossing R-rated movie opening ever, Ginnam was telling me.

I mean, it wasn't so horrible that I'm like, what the fuck?

But it was just like.

Yeah, you didn't walk out like it was the mangler or something.

I like when that kid took the bat and was like, now I have to kill this fucking clown.

The resignation in his voice.

That was the perfect line reading.

I don't understand.

Can you tell me why there was so much

excitement for this movie, considering that it was a TV movie?

A lot of Stephen King movies.

A lot of Stephen King movies don't really do that.

Some don't do well.

Obviously, there's some that do.

But there seemed to be a lot of

anticipation and real

excitement for this.

And I've seen other Stephen King movies open with nobody talks about them.

It is one of, it's one of his most popular books.

And it's also just that image, that iconic image of Pennywise in the sewer grate looking up.

Iconic made from the TV movie?

From the cover of the book.

Oh, okay.

So it's not adding the claw hand sticking out.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think

that image is what grabs a lot of people, whereas like,

you know, Shawshank Redemption, what's the image?

It's going to great movie, but what's going to grab you, you know?

I mean, plus the clown.

Yeah, Pennywise, the clown, is in pop culture, I think, a lot more than a lot of other things.

Yeah.

So, so far

as of yesterday, it's made $178 million on a production budget of $35 million.

That was $35 million?

No doubt.

Looked good.

Looked more expensive than that.

It was really good for $35.

I would have thought it would be more.

Plus, far, and so far it's made $275.

So I think chapter two is good.

Oh, there is a chapter two?

Yeah, because half of it's them as kids, half of them is them as adults.

Yeah, like they promise each other.

So

they filmed the movie

hoping that it would do well.

They found the second one right in it.

Did they?

I think they filmed.

I don't know.

I could be wrong.

I thought they filmed both parts at once.

Oh, so it's a guaranteed and you'll be seeing the sequel?

I'll go see it.

Like, it wasn't bad, it wasn't bad, so I wasn't like, I don't want to see the sequel, but it...

I just don't think anybody.

They didn't connect any of the people.

It was seen.

It was like this.

Now this happens.

Now this happens.

Now this happens.

Now this happens.

And some of the montages were weird too.

Like when they're like, we can't leave this bathroom like this.

And there's like this weird, happy, upbeat, like cleaning the bathroom scene.

scene.

Yeah, it was really strange.

So, then the other thing that really made me feel like I was in a time, like I am now positive the world passed, but I went to go see Groundhog Day on Broadway.

Oh, that made that into a play?

And it is fucking excellent.

Like, one of the best things I've ever seen on Broadway ever.

A lot of songs?

A lot of songs, but the songs are good.

The play is dark and funny.

It's closing.

It's dark and funny, so nobody went to play.

How long have it had it been on Broadway?

I think like eight months.

Wow, that quick, huh?

Yeah, and it was like a huge hit in England.

It won like their version of the Tony's or the best actor.

It's fucking great.

The play is great.

Legit great.

And

you know, the story grant, like, you know, the movie.

With the little Ghostbuster.

So I'm walking down the line into Mission, and there's this guy behind me with his date.

And he's going, like, well,

well, this is all about the patriarchy and how and how.

This is what he's saying.

This is what he's saying.

Like,

I'm listening.

My ears perk up when I hear patriarchy.

I'm like, what's going on behind me?

And

he's like, because Andy McDowell's character, his name is Rita.

Right.

He's like, and like, he's like, it's about the patriarch and how she doesn't have any choices.

And any choices she has doesn't matter because the next day, she's just reset.

And he's going on and on about how Groundhog Day is like, she's the victim.

This is a dude who's living in hope of puss, right?

It's fun.

Oh, dude.

I turned around and looked, and of course it's the fucking tight skinny jeans and the fucking,

and I'm just like, Jesus Christ.

Right after I get south of the border down, going after ground stay.

You are fucking.

You are fucking.

How do you not turn around and be like, shut the fuck up?

Shut up, bitch.

Because what is he going to change?

That's not how you win.

That's not how you win these battles that you're trying to win.

Like you say, I have no dog in the fight.

I don't give a fuck.

I am the patriarchy.

Fuck.

The fuck.

She's never going to fuck this guy.

Like looking at them, are you like, I don't care how much he talks about the patriarchy?

I'm just like, no, because he's talking about the fucking patriarchy.

I might have given him something.

This play is so fucking good and so fucking funny and so dark and so like there's a suicide, there's a song about him killing himself and there's a montage of him killing himself over and over again.

It's fucking awesome to watch.

And you're just like, this motherfucker is talking about the patriarchy out there.

He's looking to be offended.

Oh, God.

And he's wrong because, like, the fucking play, like, the play addresses that in a smart, fucking way.

That you're not like, they're pandering.

Like they do talk about that in the thing.

You're just like, this fucking guy, this fucking guy.

He's like, oh, I got to get back to Brooklyn.

Yeah.

And I'm just like, man, I was like, I consider myself a pretty liberal guy, but holy fuck.

What a fucking asshole.

What an asshole.

Like, he's just an asshole.

I should have shushed him.

He's annoyed.

The fucking play is about a dude who's in a time loop, fucking going going day from day, who's panicking, who's afraid, who's fucking everything.

And he's thinking, like, well, her choices don't matter.

Nobody's choices matter.

You fucking dick.

Oh, God, you fucking.

And choose to leave.

And just choose to leave if it bugs you so much.

This is why, look, man.

I like Russia and I like Putin, but the motherfucker is putting pictures of him out there shirtless, fucking hunting and fishing.

I was like, if there's a war, we're fucked.

We are fucked.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Still got two spots, okay.

Fucking boots are going to come out with fucking assless chaps on fucking boots and two six sheets.

And this guy's going to be like, ah, the patriarchy.

And we're going to be dead.

And I'm going to be in a labor camp.

He's going to be waxing his mustache and adjusting the cuffs on his skinny jeans.

Oh, God.

Pooh doesn't have a mustache?

No, I'm talking about skinny jean guys.

He had a mustache.

Yeah, for sure.

Dude, it was the most fucking, dude.

It was the most cultured mustache you ever seen in your fucking entire life.

Absolutely.

20, 23, 24 years old.

And I'm like, you, you, you know, it all.

They know it all.

He does.

He knew.

He knew.

He was so fucking annoyed at the patriarchy

and how this cat and the female character, how her choice didn't matter.

He was like, he couldn't get around it.

Could not get a fucking round.

Ruin the play for him.

Ruin the play.

Until the play for spot where they fucking addressed it.

Like, it's like.

Did he harump?

I don't know.

You know what I mean?

I'm sitting in front row.

I don't know what's going on.

He's selling popcorn.

Yeah, he's fucking chumped.

He's all the way in the back.

It's a women's only section.

Yeah, he's in the steerage of fucking theaters.

Blue Apron.

Come on, Blue Apron.

What do you got for us?

Number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country.

Their mission is to make, they got a mission, man, and it's to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone.

They achieve this by supporting a more sustainable food system.

I got to tell you, fucking Blue Apron, I don't like two pages of fucking copy.

This is crazy.

Getting paid to read it.

No, no, no.

It's like a 30-second spot that I couldn't possibly read, even if I was like that guy that reads the fucking disclaimer shit after a car deal on TV or whatever.

It's fucking nuts.

They got seafood, they got beef, they got chicken.

They ship the exact amount of each ingredient for a recipe, so they're reducing food waste.

This is a lot of shit most people don't care about.

Is it good and is it cheap?

That's what they give a fuck about Blue April.

I use it, it's pretty rough.

It's pretty great.

Blue apron families, you're going to cook nearly three times more often together, I guess.

And the men could cook just as much as the women?

Yeah, you put your skinny jeans on and you fucking get out a pan.

You fucking fry up the patriarchy in your frying pan.

That guy fucking made my skin crawl.

Can you imagine that dude?

Like, that was just a brief window of time with that guy.

Can you imagine, like,

you work with that guy, or you happen to be like

acquaintances?

Because I've worked fucking real jobs in my life.

Right.

This fucking guy is not.

He's fucking blogging or fucking...

Right.

Why the fuck do you even buy?

You know how much a Broadway ticket costs?

Like, why do you even...

If you know you're going to go into every single fucking thing and be offended, why do you even bother going?

But why bother getting up?

Because that dude's going into life

prepared to be offended.

It doesn't matter what he's doing.

Unless he's just trying to get laid, in which case I respect the angle, bro.

But there's better ways to go about it.

Yeah.

Unless she feels just...

just maybe he knew maybe he knew that was the only angle that was going to get those panties soggy.

Listen,

that could be a stereotype.

That could be

I heard real fucking fury in this guy's voice.

I really

calm down.

I'm the one who's affected by it, not you.

And the second act starts with, I don't know if you remember the movie, but there's this character that he's like, what high school did you go to?

And he finds out all the facts and he uses it to get laid.

It starts with her character singing a song about how men only see see her as a fucking

sex object, which, frankly, I thought it was a little overdone, if I'm going to be honest, but I was like, they address it right away.

Right.

So I'm just like,

dude.

Do you think it neutralized his fucking whole thing and he didn't get any pussy?

No, I think he was like,

at best, he was probably only going to scissor with her anyway.

Blue apron.

Yeah, blue apron.

Blue apron, man.

Nobody's fucking talking about this social ill shit.

You can spend under $10 for a delicious meal.

We got summer vegetable and egg paninis.

Walt, I know you love that.

Soy glazed pork and rice cakes for Ming.

If it's glazed, it must be soy glazed.

Yeah.

You won't accept any substitutes, right?

Like that look Ming gets in his eyes.

Right.

If Mike fucking glazes his face with boy glaze.

Skillet vegetable chill.

Doesn't really hear these things?

Or does it get back to him when you get it?

Yeah, usually it gets back to them.

They don't listen.

They don't listen because nobody's like, you said boy glaze.

Somebody make sure they know we said boy glaze.

You said boy glaze.

Not we.

This is we shit.

Editorial, you know.

Royal we.

Garlic butter, shrimp.

If it's got to be buttered, I want it garlic buttered.

Boy buttered.

Didn't they use butter in one of those famous sex scenes in a movie?

What was that butter in?

The night in Paris.

No.

Last Tango in Paris.

Last Tango in Paris.

He uses butter to.

Butter.

That shit's butter.

Is that possible to use butter?

Sure.

Butter works?

Anything works.

I mean, guys spitting their hands in prison.

It works.

I'm pretty sure butter works.

Do they have butter in prison?

Because I bet you that's all that's they're using the butter on.

I'll bet you butter is in short supply.

Like more than cigarettes.

Oh, no, I bet you it's outlawed because that's all that's going to happen.

They're hiding the butter.

saving the butter.

Yeah.

You think there's that much going on in prison that the butter trunks are.

Yeah, like everyone is sex crazy.

Butter is lubricant.

It's more important than basic dairy.

For guys who

don't know how anything about prison,

that's our perception is that

we're shocked to find out that the commissary even serves butter to the inmates.

Right.

Yeah, like anytime I see butter being served in public, I'm like, oh my God, thank God we're not in prison.

All these diners have been going.

That's what I love about Blue Apron.

You're at home,

you got your own butter.

Do it as you please.

Eat it.

Otherwise.

You eat it.

You lube up.

How long after seeing the now?

How long ago did you see the movie Last Tango in Paris?

I started in college.

How long did it take you to

see butter and not think of that scene?

Oh, that's a good question.

Probably just still thinking about it.

The clock's still ticking, I guess.

That's how impactful it was for you.

That, like, have you tried the butter method?

I haven't, but I did.

That movie and that scene opened up a conversation with a girl I was seeing that led to that act.

Sans butter.

Sans butter.

Yeah, sand's butter.

What did you use in place of butter?

Jelly?

I don't remember.

Something.

Jelly?

No, it wasn't food.

I think it was like the lubricant.

Relish.

Yeah, like, yeah, it doesn't necessarily have to be a condiment.

Barbecue sauce.

Mike's hot sauce.

What I think it's good for.

I'm not going to eat that shit.

I might as well fuck a butterface.

Really?

Yeah.

Look at the smile on his face when he's telling her what he's thinking about.

I forgot about that.

Really?

Look at him.

Now he's worried about the patriarchy.

Now, look at it.

He's a man over there thinking about his conquests.

I didn't fucking get there

worrying about how she felt.

The feelings and shit.

No,

she felt it.

She was fucking begging me.

I could tell by the way she was like, ow!

You got any butter?

I got margarine.

It's going to have to do, you slob.

It's my mother's bar, margarine.

I can't use it on you.

I can't believe it's not butter.

You're not worth butter.

You're a liar.

She was worth butter.

Yeah?

You would have gone.

She was the best.

Like some land-a-lake shit, not even store brand.

Would you have used that butter, like that?

I would have used oil of a lake.

That community makes in Pennsylvania.

Oh, the Amish?

The Amish butter?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anything she wanted.

Would that have been

disrespectful to use their butter they made by hands and such?

Especially who them?

The Amish, yeah.

I don't know.

Well, I mean, if he went back and was like, hey, guess what?

I use your fucking butter for.

What's the viscosity of this butter?

Because I have questions.

Yeah.

You think I'm going to eat this, and that's where you're wrong.

All right, Blue Apron.

Come on.

So, yeah, we're almost done with Blue Apron.

Blue Apron knows you're busy.

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

She's busy.

I was back then.

So now

they're offering 30-minute meals.

These meals are made with the same flavor and farm-fresh ingredients you know and love and are ready in 30 minutes or less.

I guess the regular ones are 40 minutes or less.

That's what she's up to today.

She's probably married her kids.

Oh, yeah.

Her butter days are over.

Oh, long.

You're married with kids.

Highly unlikely that there's any fucking butter in the mix, I don't think.

Butter?

Yeah, it probably should.

Yeah, I got to be honest, even after seeing it.

And when I was young, it never occurred to me like, hey, I know.

Butter.

Well, I think he kind of breaks you in the scene, doesn't he?

As I recall?

Yeah, I guess.

Like, she's not really like sticking butter back there.

She's like, wow,

Yeah, I guess.

Anyway, so

30 minutes or less.

Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free.

That's pretty good with free shipping.

Can you only,

or would it be, could you gain weight from not using like

a dietary butter?

Could butter be inserted that way?

Oh, like if you plug the butter?

Yeah, can it be, can you get calories to the table?

Well, the pan of butter, like, you know how it's split up in table in like the markings?

Yeah, is 80 calories.

Okay.

So the most it could be is 800 calories.

So I think you could, you gotta have a cheat night when you

get your calories.

You're like, baby, don't eat any butter today.

Just fucking hit the tree.

It's gonna be delivered.

See, I'm gonna fucking go in full brand up.

Three free meals with free shipping.

Go to blueapron.com/slash T-E-S-D.

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It's horrible that the way that life works, that if she is married with kids, even though we haven't named her,

we're talking about someone's wife and mom right now.

Yeah, but I mean, that's just life, isn't it?

This is life.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

Like, if I ever had a kid and they're like, hey, dad, tell me like all the stuff you did when you were my age.

Well, you'd be like, yeah, well, listen to this podcast.

Yes.

I'd be like, you got 400 hours?

Go check out Tell Steve Dave.

Like, if you had to tell your son about the birds and the bees, how graphic would you be?

I don't know.

Well, how old is he?

He's 18.

What?

What?

He's 18.

I'm telling him about the birds and the bees.

I'm like, I should have institutionalized you.

You're a fucking retard.

Oh.

The R-word?

I should have given you up.

Come on, man.

Like,

you talk about how, you know, how Edgar was and is loving to you.

That's how you're going to talk to your 18-year-old who's like, Dad, he's come open up, finally.

It's like, like, Daddy.

Well, he has hands in it?

Daddy.

Oh, Daddy.

He's wearing like all those shorts, like those boy shorts with the fucking hat with the tassel on.

Daddy, some boys at school with talking today.

No, well, I think that's.

We're the nitties.

No, he's not.

No need to put on a fake voice.

He's like, Daddy.

Just play that song for him.

Like, let me tell you about the birds.

I know this is awkward.

And you

haven't talked about it, but

I think you,

I don't feel you're going to tell me unless I ask you.

Because, yeah, I mean, I'm 18.

You haven't told me yet.

I think it's your responsibility.

Can you please be a father and tell me what I should know?

I'd be like, oh, so I haven't been a father in any other fucking aspect?

You fucking ingrate.

There, again, the father.

The son has become the father.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

The way we got mad, right?

You guys heard about Ukraine?

No, really, though.

At 18 years ago,

maybe you assumed you didn't need the talk.

But he's coming to you and he's saying, I do need it.

How a graphic and how do you go from past experience?

You're like, well, me and your mother, you know.

Before she died.

And it was an accident.

He won't tell you any differently.

Would you tell her?

Would you tell him with

the mom, or would you want to have this be a father-and-son conversation?

Well, I guess that would be up to him.

I would be like, you know what?

Let me just show you on your mother.

This is where I make her gag.

Oh my God.

I mean, at 18.

I would be stunned at 18 if he came to me.

I'd be like, oh, my God, where did I go wrong?

Like,

how did you not learn from your friends or from the fucking internet or from the multitude of fucking sources that aren't me?

What the fuck?

You haven't gotten any pussy.

You're a disgrace.

I'm dry as that.

I'd disown him.

I'd be like, put on some skinny jeans and go complain about the patriarchy.

Little douche.

douche.

We got to end this show.

We got to record Luke Crate and put it earlier in the episode because we can't do this in 12 whole minutes because we're on a high right now.

What do you mean, high?

A high?

Like a high note.

That's right.

It's real life.

This is how Tell him Steve Dave is.

Highs and lows.

Yeah, and they could come within minutes.

All right, give us Luke Crate.

Has a 12-minute gap been achieved since the last ad?

But that's why I'm saying that.

Definitely not.

There has to be another 12 minutes.

That's from the last ad to the.

I think it's a percentage of the time of the show.

So that 12 minutes was for that episode, however fucking long that episode was.

So I don't know.

We'll just do Luke Crate now.

I don't know.

This is all so fucking dull.

Formulas.

That's a hard way to ask.

I know.

Formulas.

All kinds of shit.

What are we?

Scientists?

Luke Crate, though.

Robotic.

I think we talked about this last week.

I love robots.

Yeah.

Always have.

Luke Crate

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No, no.

I've always wanted a robot

friend.

I always wanted someone that would never tire.

Like Bender?

Bender over.

Yeah.

Sex robot.

No, I didn't want a smarvy, sassy robot.

I wanted someone.

Yeah, someone

that I could bond with and had boundless energy.

Since no humans were up for it, I figured.

Yeah, and no one has met my robotic standards

in any aspect of my life.

Not even a thing, man.

That's saying a lot.

That is saying a lot.

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Oh, did you see the trailer for the new Blade Runner?

It looks good.

It looks really good.

Yeah, it does.

I don't usually get excited for trailers, but

that made my panties soggy.

Yeah?

You wet the seat, you had to move.

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Quick cue.

Robot Mount Rushmore.

Who's on it?

Ooh, wow.

Robbie the robot, right?

Oh,

it's old school.

I love the old school, but we both know that probably he would have to go.

I threw that in there for you.

I appreciate that.

trying to be my robot friend.

I love that that you're like, I could be your robot friend.

And you immediately feel sure you're right now.

He's like, oh,

well, you got to do R2D2.

Does he come with C3PO?

I think two spots to take it right away.

Are they droids?

They could be one spot.

Okay, they could be one spot.

Yeah, because they come in a pair.

Right.

Okay.

Whew.

And there's how many on the the Matt Rushmore?

Four?

There's four.

So three left.

Huh.

These are good questions, man.

I'm trying to think of other like famous robots.

I mean, how far do you?

This is just me.

We got to go.

We got to go B9, right?

Lost in Space.

No, that wouldn't be for me.

I don't give a fuck about Lost in Space.

Except for that weird doctor.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

Boy, all the slings and arrows.

Oh, no.

Oh, dear boy.

Oh, Penn State.

Oh, coming to the challenge for some horseplay.

Oh, boy.

All right.

Have you met my son?

Does

a talking car count as a robot?

We're going to make that a talking car.

Herbie?

The robot?

The Herbie?

The robot and Kit.

Is Kit?

Does Herbie talk?

Herbie doesn't talk about it.

Does Chitty Chitty Bang count?

Herbie Honks?

No, a car is not a robot.

All right, well.

What world do you live in?

Well, he's mechanical.

And he talks and he thinks.

He's just missing the arms and legs.

Archu Dito doesn't have arms.

Right, but he's sentient.

Okay, no, no, no.

That's fine.

I accept that.

Okay, all right.

But what's his name is Sentient 2?

Kit.

I mean, he talks to Michael.

He does.

No, I accept that he's a car.

I accept that he's a car.

I don't think anybody's coming around from a role.

Bender.

Bender, yeah.

Really?

Bender is.

Futurama is.

I didn't realize you had this so much affection for Penforn.

Oh, I've watched the series through like four or five times.

I'd walk known, he would have introduced you to the guy who comes in, right?

He told me that story.

He watched him once.

Yeah, he told me that story.

All right.

Oh, you got Bender.

Wow.

There's a choice.

Not a lot of people, I think, would have Bender on that.

Yeah, I really, really like Futurama.

Okay.

You want to put Robocop up there?

He's more of a cyborg, right?

He's a robot.

He has Robo in the name.

Yeah, but he's part human.

To me, that makes him a cyborg.

I think cyborgs are okay here.

You're going to get around.

Yeah, I think anything that's.

Well, the Terminator.

endoskeleton.

Sentient cars, no good.

Cyborg's good.

All right, one more in the spot of Mount Rushmore robots.

I'm not can't.

No Wild West?

I mean,

no Westworld?

No.

There's nobody really that iconic.

Westworld, I'd probably go one of the alien robots, Bishop, or someone before Westworld.

No, that wouldn't be my choice.

Don't trust me.

Don't trust me.

No, I like it.

I like it.

I like it.

What about, like, is Mecha Godzilla a robot?

That would be mine.

Yeah, Mecha Godzilla would make that last spot for me.

Well, what other robots are there?

You're missing probably.

Fembots.

Yeah.

Six Million Dollar Man, is he a robot?

I think he's more of a cyborg.

Although cyborgs would be a lot of...

What in comic books would a robot?

It's like

a division, but

I don't have a connection to the vision.

What about that...

What the fuck is that movie where he's like, number five is alive?

Oh,

short circuit?

Short circuit.

That's tempting.

If Wolf was going to call me a lot of names, I'd probably go with Johnny Five.

You can go ahead.

It speaks back to your childhood.

That's

your love affair with robots.

But I know I'm forgetting important robots.

But Johnny Five might get it.

I love those fucking movies as a kid.

They're poised for a comeback, right?

I think that has been around for years, like they want to.

But I'm missing robots.

What?

I'm missing some robots.

Well, let's see.

I mean, there's got.

I mean, what about.

Do you mind if I just type famous robots in the middle?

Yeah, go right ahead.

This is a good conversation.

What about

the two Transformer guys who are like

all wacky and shit, and they're like pissing on stuff?

Yeah, that's a new shit.

People would say that Hal is considered a robot according to this chart.

From 2001.

Yeah, I don't see it that way.

He's basically a car.

He's a spaceship, isn't he?

Yeah, Wally.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't see Wally, but

people really like it.

Well, you got one spot left?

for the future.

Oh, the Cylons are pretty cool.

The Cylons are pretty fucking cool.

What is it like, as you command?

Is that what they say?

Spouse Star Galactica, right?

Yeah.

I never liked that shit.

I'm going to go ahead and give it to.

It was the next best thing to Star Wars on TV.

It was like far, far a step down.

I agree.

I totally agree.

But they're like, oh my God, it's still like Star Wars-you know, so I'm going to do 3PO and R2, Bender,

what did I say?

Terminator.

Terminator and Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime.

Not Mecha Godzilla, huh?

No, not Mecha Godzilla.

I was more into Optimus Transformers.

Although really I should go Bumblebee because I've got to.

They should do that, right?

They should really do it.

Why not?

They should build a Mount Rushmore.

Tell you what, I've never seen Rount Rushmore.

You bet your ass I'd go see fucking.

I saw Mount Rushmore.

I was like, I guess.

It's a fucking astonishing piece of fucking American artist.

It's crazy

how big it is, actually.

It's insane.

You know what was fucking really sort of disappointing was Old Faithful.

Like, I sat around waiting for it, and then when it did it, I was like,

sure, why not?

Yeah, like, okay,

how old are you, though?

I was pretty old.

It was when I was on that motorcycle trip, so I was like, oh, wow, well into my 30s.

Yeah, that's why.

If you saw it as a child, you may have had a little bit when you still had your innocence.

Yeah, the wonder.

Yeah, I'd be like, Daddy, yeah, Daddy, tell me about sex right now.

I just saw Old Faithful go off.

Yeah, I called him.

I was 38.

I was like, can you tell me about the birds and the bees, Edgar?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Watch the daylight fade away.

I lose my sense of touch.

Take a nightlight through the rain.

I'm getting nothing.

All emotions seem so rain.

But I don't look too close.

You wonder you can't even say

I'll die for no man.

I'll fight

forever

to survive the bad words

No time

it's over

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