#299: Walking Over Hot Coals To 300

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Muse visits Terrificon August 19th through 21st in Connecticut.

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Irvine Improv welcomes Babylon back on Friday, August 26th.

Jay Muse shares his views at Colorado Springs Comic-Con on August 26th.

September 2nd, Jay and Bob get old at the Toronto Fan Expo.

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December 11th and 12th, Get Old with Kevin Smith and Jason Hughes in Colorado.

Kev goes solo for a show at South of the Landmark in Colorado on December 11th and 12th.

December 13th, Fort Collins brings Kevin Jay to the Lincoln Center.

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Check out Jay and Silent Bob Get Old in Larimer Square, December 15th.

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JSB come to Telluride, Colorado, on December 16th.

Kevin won't be skiing in Aspen, but he will definitely be doing a live show December 18th.

Tickets to these and all Smodco shows are available now at Smodcast.com.

Casper's back.

Casper, oh my gosh.

You know what I've been hearing a lot about?

And I would really like to get one is a Casper pillow wall.

Yeah, I've heard Mike and Ming talking about the Casper pillow.

They love them.

Pillow biters for both of them.

Casper says.

Not only do they are they comfortable?

They taste great, Michael Ming say.

They come to work with a fucking mouth full of of feathers.

Look like they ate a fucking duck.

A sleep brand that created one perfect mattress sold directly to consumers, eliminating commission-driven inflated prices, which means they've cut out the guy who makes his living selling mattresses, I guess.

How do they do it?

Q?

What?

In addition to the mattress, Casper also offers an adaptive pillow and soft breathable sheets.

If you go to casper.com/slash T-E-S-D and use the promo code, you're going to get $50 towards any mattress purchase.

They can cost well over $1,500, but they cost $500 for a twin-size mattress, $600 for a Twin XL, $750 for a full, $850 for a queen, $9.50 for a king.

That's pretty cheap for a king, right?

Very good.

I tell you, I mean, long story short, I sleep on a Casper every night.

I wouldn't do that if it wasn't good.

I wouldn't do it.

And

I tell my family,

it's the most comfortable mattress I've ever slept on.

It's not bullshit.

Huh.

All right.

Well, there you get it, man.

It's awesome.

That's not bullshit.

Casper, you can use that if you want.

It's completely risk-free, Walt.

Free delivery, free returns, 100-night home trial.

Do you find

on your Casper that like when you get busy, is it better than your regular springy bed?

No springs for anyone here.

You can fucking go to town all night.

Yeah,

the neighbors

are not aware of my

dirty doings.

Yeah.

That's good.

Yeah,

your neighbors won't know.

Let's say you're a

fiend for free.

Everything you do on a Casper is better.

Yeah.

Everything.

I thought we were doing like straight 30-second reads.

He just said the movie just started.

Did it start?

Yeah, he said the movie started.

All right, so go get a Casper.

It's Casper.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Brian Johnson from the Newsley News.

Question, Mr.

Flanagan.

Like, be a little manly, stop bitching and crying and whining, and all this shit.

What does the Bible say about stooling?

You know that would be.

That's the devil's fucking

the devil's playground back there.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave

number 299

299 Walt 299Q an episode away from 300.

How do you feel?

How do you feel with this upcoming fucking magic?

Well, the excitement in this room is palpable.

Yeah.

Well, we've been around all day.

We're recording this between shooting for

the yoga hosers thing and going to the yoga hosers thing.

Can't help but notice that Giddam's not here.

He's at the premiere thing.

Usually

he's just like a yapping dog around to be on Telm Steve Day, but

he's found something bigger for himself.

Well, he's at a premiere.

Yeah.

There was a red carpet.

You were on the red carpet.

He had to walk it.

He wanted to take his stroll down it too.

So today's supposed to be an overkill.

Oh, is it?

It's supposed to be.

It's not.

Maybe it is.

Why, you got something?

Maybe

not only do I have an overkill walk.

But maybe I have

something that doesn't have to do with disappearing children.

It has to do with

itself.

It's worthy of an overkill.

I think I might have something overkill worthy.

Yeah.

A cultish leader of sort.

Is that Overkill?

I'd say so.

A cultish.

Some may say cult.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, talk about this.

I saw on Twitter that you watched.

There's a documentary on Tony Robbins, the life coach.

You know who he is?

Yeah.

Very well.

For the first, I mean, it's a two-hour documentary.

They didn't need to make it that long.

But for the first half of it, it's a fascinating look at this guy and his business.

And I guess two, three times a year, he has this seven-day seminar, six-day seminar, and it's a 12-hour day every day.

And it they made it appear like he's on stage for the entire 12 hours.

I don't know how realistic that is.

You know what I'm saying?

For one man to speak for 12 straight hours?

12 straight hours, seven hours for seven six days in a row.

And

you

need to be on some drugs to do that, wouldn't you?

I feel like he is somewhere in there on drugs.

I don't know.

They don't say it, but I mean, he he's like bouncing on a trampoline just before he goes out to the audience, and he gets there high energy, and his music blasts in, and like the whole crowd is going crazy and dancing.

And then he comes out and he just starts going through the crowd.

He's got like one of those mics that you normally wear on, and he's just like, you know, and he's dispensing advice and stuff like that.

And I was struck by something:

these people fucking worship this guy.

It's crazy.

Like, you see the look in their eyes, and

they're like tears in their eyes.

Can I ask a question since you watched it, though?

If these people who are worshiping him, they must have taken the course before, right?

Because you wouldn't be that excited if you were just like, oh, I'm at my wit's end here.

I don't know what to do.

Let me try this.

I've heard about this guy.

No, there's a lot of those people in there.

So why are you cheering that hard if you don't know if you're not.

He's whipping them into a frenzy.

You're so unsure if this is going to work.

You don't know.

It didn't look like anybody was unsure that it was going to work.

Like,

they had all been handed cups of Kool-Aid before they came in.

You know what I mean?

They had had to down that shit.

And

I was just struck by how, first of all, this guy is...

Are you looking down on Kool-Aid?

No.

Because, I mean, we actually push a lot of our own Kool-Aid on Telum Steve Day.

Yeah, no, it's fine.

I'm going to attempt to walk a line here because I do feel that what he's doing, I don't want to say scam or con artists, because I do really feel that these people feel...

It's $5,000 to attend this event.

Not a lot of of money to change your life forever.

That is, I believe.

Well, then they cut to interviews in his house, and this motherfucker, I went online, he's worth like $480 million, which I support.

Like, I'm like, go for it.

We're not pushing our Kool-Aid hard enough.

No, his house is like on the beach in Florida.

Like, it's fucking unbelievable.

It's like a mansion.

And he's an ultra-positive guy.

He is charismatic as fuck, which I didn't think I would ever see in him.

But when you see him lock eyes with people and tell them that they're

a worthy person, they're a good person, they could overcome anything.

Like, if you don't want to change your life, to fuck out of here, he curses a lot.

Oh,

he gets hostile.

Holy shit, every other word.

He just paid 5k, Tony.

Why are you yelling at me?

Every other word out of this guy's mouth is a good thing.

Sometimes, Tony, you need a pat on the ass.

Not a kicking though, not a kid.

He breaks you down and then he builds you up.

And he locks it, clock it out.

And he

says he curses on purpose because, like, he says it breaks people's defensive defenses.

They don't expect you to be there cursing.

So, this guy's telling, like, this one guy's telling him he tried to kill himself.

Another guy was raised in a religious cult in Cuba.

I'm sorry, Brazil, one of these fucking down south countries.

And she was fucked since the age of six because that was this cult thing.

Like, and she's crying, and he's crying, and the whole crowd is clapping, and they're all hugging each other and bringing it in.

And I see it.

I see what he's saying.

Like, I see why these people aren't doing it.

But then if you break down his actual advice, I feel any one of us can do it.

It's common sense.

We should do it.

Yeah, I agree.

We should start the Tell Hem Steve Dave

life coach.

The life, you know, and hold seminars.

We did start it with the Walt Flanagan life coach.

Remember when we used to give advice?

Yeah, we didn't make any money off of that.

And we would only have to be on stage for three hours at a pop

since there's three of us.

We're not four hours at a pop.

So we each go?

Yeah.

Like I go first.

I'm like, you should probably all hang yourselves.

I mean,

look at what I do, and I still hate my life.

So there's probably no hope for any of you.

So then you weed out all the fucking losers, right?

Who are you?

But the losers are the way you're going to make all your money.

Oh, really?

You need

the returning losers.

That's all I learned from this documentary is you need the losers to make money at that game.

Because they're so desperate that they're like anything, anything to help.

Anything.

And I'm saying his package is very shiny and bright.

I get it.

Like the woman who got raped, right?

She was like crying in front of him.

And his advice for, you tell me if he says anything out of like the ordinary, he's like, you're a strong person.

You got through it.

And you're worthy of love.

And who's going to love this girl?

Who's going to love this girl?

And the whole crowd gets up and starts clapping.

All these potential rapists.

And

he looks at her and goes, I want you to pick three men, three men in this crowd right now who can love you without wanting anything from you.

And then she looks around and she's like, him, him.

And the guys come over and they hug her.

And they're like, you're her uncle now.

Like, I want you to call her once a month.

I don't know if he has that power in the state of Florida.

He's like, I want you to call.

He basically handed the work off to people.

You're her uncle now.

I'd be like, oh, shit, I shouldn't have raised my hand.

That one fucking guy, this one one guy and this girl, she stands up and she's complaining about a boyfriend, right?

And he's basically like a pussy.

Like, like, he's sitting right next to her.

So fucking Tony Robbins gets him up and he's like, and he basically, this is actually, you would love it.

It's pretty funny.

He dresses the guy down.

He's like, you're a sheep, man.

He's like, you're a sheep.

Of course I am, Tony.

I just paid five grand to sit here and listen to you.

You think I don't know.

You rape me in front of a crowd of what, of tens of thousands?

That's an exact thing.

That's going to be my uncle.

He goes there and he goes, How many times?

How much do you guys fuck?

And he said that?

He does.

FBF word?

Yeah, I'm telling you, he drops the F on.

He didn't even say intercourse?

Dude, everyone.

He goes love.

He goes, and she goes, and she goes about twice a month.

And he looks at him disgusted.

Like it's all on him.

Yeah.

And then he tells us.

What's the name of this documentary?

It's called I Am Not Your Guru, Tony Robbins.

This is the boyfriend of the woman who had been raped?

No, no, this is on to a different story.

And I'm sorry about that.

I didn't make that clear.

And then

he gets a guy up and he tells him this story about a lion that was raised by sheep.

He goes, and you're standing there going, bah, bah.

He goes, but one day he goes, a lion came along and ate the sheep.

And the lion that was raised by the sheep was cowering.

The lion was like, what's wrong with you, man?

And they kept force-feeding him the sheep, force-feeding him the sheep.

And then the guy roared.

He goes, let me hear you roar.

And he gives a mic to the guy.

And the guy goes,

and the whole place goes berserk.

And then all of a sudden, like, the guys like stand there all manly and shit like that.

And, like, and then they do backup interviews where they're like, they're like, that's it.

I'm going to go home tonight.

And then the next morning they fucked all night.

Like, it's like all this weird shit, dude.

It's like fucking weird.

So

you could be a believer, you feel, if you were if you were to

look into his eyes, like Svengali and shit.

Could you be under Tony Robbins' spell?

I think.

I don't think I could, no.

Because I sat there and was like, this guy's a fucking scam artist.

Plus, I got tons of puss.

But I do did see

why

people,

without judgment, like it was so, he's so magnetic that I completely understand why people do.

Like, not even the way that it could be, like, look at these fucking losers, like, following this guy.

Like, I get it.

I get why they're following him.

And if you're that lost in life, like, then fucking for sure, like, you would be like, I'll give $5,000 to Tony Robbins to tell me I'm a lion and make me roar in front of a fucking crowd.

How do you implicate that, though?

How does that now?

How do you implement those that roar into something that will change your life in the real world?

That is what my issue with him is.

All the advice is surface level, feel good in this room, shit.

And then when you leave, like you're still a sheep.

Like, I don't give a shit.

Like, get him comes in and roars in your face.

Like, later that day, he's back dancing and directing traffic.

Yeah, it was crazy, man.

It was like, I suggest you guys watch it.

At least the first hour.

You can almost not not watch the second hour because it just gets redundant.

But, man,

so you liken it to a cult?

I liken it very much to a cult.

Well, that's the whole basis of a cult, right?

Is that you take people whose minds are

malleable

and sort of shape them with your philosophy and get them to...

I mean, how else could a cult possibly work?

100% that, Brian.

And like at the end, he's like, everybody with their eyes closed.

And then he starts talking real low on the mic, you're a beautiful person.

The universe is yours.

And people are just crying, tears pouring down their face.

And then, like, he has like helpers go through the crowd and grabs people's head and starts shaking their head.

And like, that's it.

That's it.

And you're just, and I'm just like, that's when I'm like, these people are fucking morons.

Like, this is crazy.

You should have invested that $5,000 in something.

But if he helps people,

he doesn't even have to help them.

They just have to believe that he's helped them.

Right.

Right.

So any small way, if they believe it, then it's true.

That's their reality.

That was a question I wanted to pose to you.

So does that mean that he's not a con artist?

Like he is actually doing what he's claiming to do?

Like, does his target negate what he's doing?

Like, the fact that he only seems to be going for these weird lost people.

Well, they're the only ones coming to him.

They're coming to him.

Yeah.

They're coming to him.

And also,

if they walk away

feeling that their life has changed and they continue to feel that way,

even if it doesn't really change, because he's not saying like, hey, you're going to be a fucking millionaire.

You're going to own a fucking Maserati.

You're going to live in a mansion.

Or is he saying?

Is he saying nothing is ever changed?

He's saying he's going to give you the, yes.

He's saying he's going to give you the tools to break yourself down and build yourself up as an unstoppable force.

And like that girl that got raped back to her, he was like, all right, now I want you to go and do what I do for other people.

Inspire people, but do it better than me.

He's like, go out there.

He's like, and

help people like I've helped you.

And suddenly, like there's after the credits, they have like a thing.

Now she's writing a book and like she's starting her own self-help seminars and shit like that.

So she's like, fuck, I can get rich.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I didn't didn't know what to make.

He doesn't really know training, though.

Well, he doesn't have any training.

That's what I'm reading right here.

He doesn't have any training.

He's like a high school dropout.

Yeah.

Do you want to know about him, Walt?

Yeah, I would like to know about him.

He began his career promoting seminars for Jim Rohn.

Later, without any educational background in psychology, he began his own work as a self-help coach.

He had neuro-linguistic programming and Ericksonian

hypnosis after training with some guy.

In 83, he learned to fire walk and began to incorporate that into his seminars.

Didn't he show any of that?

His use of board breaking, skydiving, and later fire walking in his seminars is intended to help participants push through their fears.

I mean, I've seen people do it, so I believe it's possible.

Do you know how it's done, though?

Yeah, it has something to do with the top layer being cool, right?

Yeah, and it's the coals underneath that are hot or something.

Right.

So, you know, it's bullshit.

You can mind or matter.

You cannot get burning.

You can get burned.

Well, yeah, of course you can.

But you could, can you?

The question is not if you can get burned.

The question is, can you convince, can your mind keep your feet from fucking burning as you step on hot coals?

No.

Okay.

Can you define this?

If you watch this, I was getting a little worried.

Do you want to hear about some controversies?

Yeah, definitely.

He responded to an FTC charge of misrepresentation of potential earnings to franchise investors.

So I guess you could

be a Tony Robbins franchisee.

Also,

financial seminar guru Wade Cook, he's pretty well known, also sued Robbins for copyright infringement and plagiarism, saying that he used proprietary terms in his seminars.

So he had to pay damages for that.

In 2001, he filed suit against the Vancouver Sun

alleging defamation and liable.

That one he won.

Oh, somebody fucking called him an adulterous wife-stealing hypocrite.

Whoa!

Yeah.

Well, the Vancouver Sun called him that, and he was awarded $20,000 in damages.

His wife's very attractive.

I guess that's not a surprise when you have $480 million in the bank.

Here you go, Walt.

You want to hear some mind-over matter?

You're buying steak without money.

You ain't getting ground, Chuck.

This was a little bit over a month ago.

Dozens were burned and required medical attention after attempting to walk on coals during a firewalking event at a Tony Robbins Motivational Seminar in Dallas.

According to the website, the firewalk is intended to help people conquer their fear by walking across hot coals.

It's a symbolic experience that proves if you can make it through the fire, you can make it through anything.

Well, I guess those guys can't make it through anything.

Dozens.

Dozens.

That's alarming.

And that's where you have to question

the whole thing.

No fire walking in the Tell'em Steve Dave seminar.

Absolutely not.

Tell them Steve Dave seminar for at least

when I get my, I go up there on stage.

It's

I'd love to see you do three hours on Time.

I would pay $5,000 to see that.

By himself.

I would love it it would be fucking amazing go ahead tell it walk us into it

I would be like first off it's not about you everything's always about you

that's the first thing it's about the other people in your life it isn't about you if you just stop

and consider what other people

need from you or want from you and it

take care of that and everything else just falls into place well

with a caveat, not just anyone.

Our fucking mission.

Our message is going to be so convoluted.

Three hours of that followed by three hours of that.

Yeah, I'll be the plant in the audience.

Brian Johnson from the Newsley News.

Question, Mr.

Flanagan.

The newsly news.

And there's nothing wrong with just being like

a cog or a plumber or something, something along the line.

They want to better their lives and not fucking maintain the status quo.

Is it always just about money?

No, this girl was just about loving herself after getting raped a billion times.

How are you going to do that?

There was a girl who...

You can't call people cogs and expect them to walk away being like, well, that was money well.

There's nothing wrong with it, though.

He made this girl call up her boyfriend and break up with her on a speakerphone in front of the whole thing.

No, you're right.

And let's face it.

Stop feeling bad about yourself because

you go to work every day and provide.

You should be proud of yourself.

I'm not arguing it.

I mean, we're all cops in one way or another.

Because you don't have a mansion, or you don't have,

or maybe your childhood was not as good as somebody else's, or so you think, because I'm sure everybody you talk to will have something that they can point to that makes them feel sad about their childhood.

And stop

holding on to it, everything.

Let it work and go.

I would give them a balloon.

I would have to make them pay like $1,000 for that balloon.

And I'd be like, hold on to that balloon.

Now let that balloon go.

We'd be outside.

And

when that balloon floats off, I'd be like, that's all your worries.

That's all your problems.

See, that is basically what he does.

Like, he makes like a symbolic, like, that's basically it.

Like, see, as to me, because that doesn't sound like a real-world solution.

But if he did that in the documentary, i wouldn't i i wouldn't have blinked like it's right in line with what he does it's right in line and once that balloon floats away you got to promise yourself you're not going to beat yourself up over bad decisions or decisions that were out of your hands um

and just

just be be a person that you're that you are proud of you you sound just like him i'm not fucking kidding this one girl was talking about like how her father didn't love her and all this shit and he was addicted to drugs.

And he's like, well, blame the motherfucker.

Blame him.

He goes, but also blame him for the person you are.

Blame him for how strong you are today.

Blame your father.

If you're going to blame him for all the bad stuff, blame him for the good and let it go.

Like shit like that.

He's saying exactly what you're fucking saying.

He's like, forget about it.

It's funny.

Not only your three hours.

Yeah.

I'm like, what do you got?

Problems?

Forget about it.

You want to hear problems?

I got taxes up the ass.

You know, all the $5,000 that you ban me?

I'm losing $2,500 right off the top.

Uncle Sam's getting that money.

Yeah, and then when I take my manager, my agent, travel, all this other bullshit into account, I'm down to $1,000.

Find out who six days.

Find out who the most three important people are in your life.

And then ask yourself,

are they proud of me?

Are they proud of the decisions I make on a daily basis?

Well, I can talk S2E right now.

If you think that

if you have any concerns that they may not be proud of of how you are leading your life or the things that you're doing

That's what you address.

That's a checklist of what you're doing.

There's a sign right there that you're okay.

Well then let me change what I'm doing.

And as soon as you become

a source of pride for the three most people in your life,

what else is there?

So meet others' expectations of you.

Not any

people you you respect.

I said three important people in your life.

So, people you respect, people you'd like, I'd want them to be proud of me.

You can, yes.

The three most important people in your life,

you should respect them, I would think.

Right.

And

you should be in love or love them unconditionally.

But

you also want them to be proud of you at the end of the day when it's all said and done.

Well,

what am I three?

As long as I keep her in lemonade and ravioli,

she's proud of me.

Well, you know what?

Yeah, and there's an instance, though, where

you're going to find your

lemonade and ravioli.

She loves it.

I don't want to use the word recognition,

but you're going to get your respect and your

people, though, because of the way that you have

taken on, you know, that person, you're showering in ravioli.

You're going to,

you know, people see it.

People recognize it, and people will like, and people acknowledge it.

Look at that motherfucker

showering that girl in ravioli.

Honestly, she'd take a shower in ravioli if I gave her the opportunity.

People know it, and

people are well aware of it, and it's one of your most

it's one of the reasons, it's one of the big reasons that you do get respect.

It prevents me from being a total monster.

And people will

be proud.

And one of the things they should point to, to be proud of knowing you because of

how you have taken on that responsibility to raise a child.

All right, so I got that.

You got a lot.

You got a lot.

I always said that

you hold on to stuff and you're not you've held on to that balloon like it was fucking surgically fucking stitched into your skin

yeah some of it helps, I think.

Some not so much.

I mean, the fact that

I grew up

hating myself so much and being so.

You hid that, though.

What's that?

You hid that from everybody.

Yeah, I trick people.

Like, people have told me that they're like, I would have thought you were the most confident person ever.

And, like, until they get to know me, and then they're like, oh, my God, you're a mess.

Even people who got to know you, I don't think you didn't let that out.

You didn't let that side of your show.

It's all

well-mentioned.

Well, because

it was a combination.

I've had a lot of years to think about this with Brian.

He has a combination of self-loathing, also coupled with

almost supreme arrogance about other people.

So it's like a weird, it's like,

you can't say he's wrong.

Like, most people are fucking idiots and assholes.

And he recognizes that.

So it's like, he doesn't feel

less than these people.

In fact, Brian feels better than his people, but he also doesn't like himself.

So it's a fucking odd dichotomy.

If I'm not this awful, can you imagine what I think of you?

But is that a narcissistic trait, though?

I don't know.

Because most people.

He thinks he's smarter than everybody else.

But he is smarter.

I do think he's smarter than most people.

But you could point to, I don't mean this in a bad way, but you could point to decisions that he's made in his life that would make you think, like, well, how can he still hold those beliefs?

Oh, sure.

Almost every decision he's made.

Yeah, I agree.

Right?

I mean,

at a certain point, you got to go, like, wait a second, wait a second.

That guy's an idiot.

But he's not.

No, no, no.

That guy, he's looking at something else.

That other person out there, he's looking at.

That guy's an idiot.

But, you know, it looks like, but

he's not in the same boat I am right now.

He's like, I'm in a boat that's taking on water.

He's not in a boat that's taking on water.

That sounds like a Tony Robbins kind of analogy, right?

No, dude, you got it.

I can't wait till we do this.

I can't wait.

You might do all 12 hours.

His boat is taking on water like crazy, right?

Would you agree with that?

I'm on the phone with the Grammacy.

And that boat has been taking on water for decades.

And sometimes it looks like it's going down.

But yet,

he finds a fucking

empty coffee pot.

And he's able to just take enough water out of that boat to keep it afloat, just when it looks like it's going to go down forever.

That's like Q said recently.

You're like, you have had more second chances than anyone I've ever met.

Like, every time it looks like you're about to go down, boom, something happens in your back.

Yeah, I don't think it's,

I think it's just there's something inside me that

sabotages.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I don't, sometimes I don't even mean it.

I don't think it's just like a

like a subconscious.

Like, I know I shouldn't do certain things, but I do them anyway.

Right.

And I don't know why.

Well, I think everybody does that to a degree, but you really.

But it's not.

I mean, look, you're also, you know,

successful.

Right.

I mean, you're not a failure.

Right.

I I mean, you should be so happy

to, even if you have, if you take everything away, you are

raising a great kid.

You are

her everything.

That's enough for a lot of people.

That's enough to float people's boat and just be like, and feel good about themselves.

That's enough.

All the other stuff's just gravy.

Yeah.

You know what Edgar said to me?

It isn't to put him down or anything.

This is just him, but I told Walt this.

I went to Pam and Edgar's for dinner a few weeks ago, and he was talking about how he was on the job with my brother Darren.

Not like police officers on the job, but they do construction.

And I guess he had a shirt or something, Tell him Steve Dave shirt.

And somebody was like, oh, I love that podcast.

Oh, really?

I forget that.

Yeah.

And he was like, oh, that's my son.

He admitted that he was Edgar.

Yeah.

And

they didn't believe him, but then they somehow they figured out Darren was my brother, too.

And as Edgar's telling the story and he's he's playing it cool, he's just like, oh, you know, I see him all the time.

It's no big deal.

It's like, you know,

I worked for Tommy Hill figure, so it's not like he's the most famous person I know.

And I'm just like, he's telling me this.

He could have left that part out.

And honestly, like, is Tommy Hill figure, like, is that name better known than mine?

Absolutely.

Would most people know Tommy Hill figure if they fucking stumbled across him?

I don't think so, right?

No, but also, like, that's not the measure of what your father should be judging you by salvation.

Recognition factor.

Yeah, that's a poor yardstick.

Do you crave achievements

that have to be

big

to take any kind of satisfaction?

Or can you enjoy little achievements?

Well, what's little?

No, I'm trying to figure out your scale.

Well, what's big?

I don't think I've achieved anything big.

Well, all right, what about, I mean, you can say that you, I mean, I would say that you're leading a successful podcast.

Is it an achievement that you could take a successful picture?

Some podcasts, six seasons of a television show.

The podcast is big for me.

It's my favorite thing, obviously.

The TV show is cool, but it's not my favorite thing.

And I know, and I know a lot of people will be like, wow, you've been on TV for six years.

Right.

But you talk into a mic and

what is an achievement that would make you happy, though, at this point?

Would it come down to some sort of big paycheck?

Would it come down to some sort of artistic endeavor?

No, I don't know.

I don't think about being happy that much because I think it's out of reach.

So I really don't think about

what would make me a happy person.

Yeah, I think you've got to change that thinking.

Yeah.

You've got to go to a Tony Robbins seminar.

No, but I've been been telling you for some time as now, you've got to find

that you should go back to therapy.

I just think that this is what I think your problem is.

I think you're smart enough to know what the answers are already.

Oh, yeah.

And you don't want to do it.

So you don't want to go to therapy to have somebody tell you what those answers are and then have you not do it.

I'm like, why am I paying you?

I already know this shit.

That's what I think.

The smartest guy.

I mean, I've said Giddam's the smartest guy in the room, but that was in jest.

The smartest guy in the room anytime is Brian Johnson.

I agree with that.

But

what's just confounding is he knows what the answers are,

but for some reason, like you said,

he doesn't want to,

I guess, take the necessary

actions, or I don't know.

Is it fear?

Is it like, well,

what if I change things and things get better and then I don't know how to handle it?

That is what I think you should go to therapy for.

That question is, I think, the big question that there's just fucking no way to know.

Because also in recent years, like you've stopped opening up about certain things to me, definitely.

I don't know about to you.

Like, we used to talk fucking

four days in a row for two hours a thing about our shitty fucking problems.

And we don't really do them anymore.

And I think that you hit a point where you're like, I just don't want to talk about this anymore because I've talked about it so much.

We've talked it to death.

And I don't want to put my friends in in this situation where we're talking about it anymore.

So I don't even know.

Like, for me personally, I don't even know where your headspace is at with it.

You know?

Yeah.

Do you still have problems that you could talk about for two hours?

Because you seem legitimately more happy now than you have been in recent years.

I have.

I am.

Oh, we pivoted to me.

I am

the best.

For me, I'm not talking about the outside world.

I'm just talking about

fucking

current state of the world.

Just how I feel about myself.

You know what I mean?

I don't, I can't, I don't know how other people feel about me, but I feel I'm the best version of myself I've ever been.

I'm legitimately happy.

I am

I am content.

I am

I'm in a whole new universe.

I'm in a place that I actually never thought I would be.

And I think it has something to do with age.

Like, I think I just got to a certain age where I was like, I think a lot of it has to do with just getting to a certain age and being like, all right, so this is what it is.

Like, this is

you only got

so many years to

figure it out.

You better figure it out because if you don't, you're going to sit there and go, like, well, fucking, I wasted the best years.

Or be content that I can't figure it out.

I was looking for something that was always there.

I just fucking didn't see it.

Yeah.

I think that's it.

And then I getting sick.

I mean, I know I beat this drum a lot on this show, but it changed my life in ways that I can't even fucking fully express.

Like, when you think you're going to die for two months straight, like, this just

anytime something bothers me, I'm just like,

like, my fucking brain's not exploding, so I'm fine.

I don't normally do that.

I remember telling my shrink once.

She was talking about whatever fucking bullshit issue I had at the time.

And she started talking about, you know, relative to that somebody else who had a worse problem.

And I was like, look, just because somebody else does it worse doesn't mean that I don't have it bad.

I don't want to hear that shit.

And to put put a fine point on it, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, fuck them

or whoever.

But like, two weeks ago, we were sitting here, we were waiting the shoot, and this family came in from South Carolina, and it was a mom, a dad, a kid who was like, I don't know, maybe five, and then a little girl who was two, and she had on these weird glasses.

And

she said that, I mean, she was so happy, the lady, to see me.

And I think Megan was here.

We watch you guys all the time.

We love you.

And I was like, oh, did you come up for vacation?

She's like, oh, no, we went up to Philadelphia because

the girl, I can't remember her name, but she's like, you know,

she has eye cancer, and that's the best hospital for whatever surgery she was going to get.

And I'm looking at her.

She's holding this little two-year-old that has eye cancer.

And I'm thinking two things.

One,

fucking no way.

Does God exist?

Fuck off.

I mean, come on, man.

How could you give a little kid eye cancer?

And two, like, whatever was bugging me at that moment.

Oh, I know what it was.

My car wouldn't start, and I was annoyed and had to ride my motorcycle in it because I thought it might rain.

Your free motorcycle.

Yeah.

The same.

And I felt like such a dick in the moment because I'm like, these are people who are dealing with what I can.

I just can't even imagine it.

I can't imagine somebody being like, okay, well, here's the problem.

She has eye cancer and let's go from there.

Like,

that's insane.

You just

hopeless, no control, nothing, nothing you can do except hope that when you go to the best hospital in the country, which I guess was in Philadelphia, that they're going to be able to knock it out, you know, and she'll be able to see her or whatever.

But to see these little, like a little kid with such a disadvantage, or that girl that died on her own terms recently, she had some kind of rare disease.

Did you see her?

And

she's like, I don't want to do all the chemo.

She's was like five or six.

She didn't want to do all the chemo and stuff.

So

they brought her home and she fucking hung out and read some of her favorite books or whatever, and she died.

She's like five or six.

I might have forced her into the chemo.

That kind of, I mean, it was just a matter of time.

Oh, it was just a matter of time.

And she was like, yeah, she's like, I don't want to spend my last couple months, you know, feeling sick and thrown up and all that.

I mean, I don't even have kids, man, and it just sounds like you just never recover.

But I mean, the fucking courage of a little kid

to be able to get their head around that.

But I mean, also, it's good because I'm sure they plied her with, like, you're going to go to God, there's going to be angels, you see, grandma or whoever the fuck died already, you know, maybe your pets.

Well, but aren't you doing well?

You're doing what a lot of people is, they fall into that analogy therapy of like, well, look at that person and

you know, and you're doing, I mean, you're doing it right now, right?

I mean, in some situations,

I say bullshit in this situation where I'm like, my car wouldn't start.

And she's like, I sure hope I can see.

It's like, you do, you feel like a dickhead because it's so minor that problem.

I mean, honestly, if I didn't have the bike, I could have called someone from production and been like, come get me.

Right.

You know, it's not really a problem.

Yep.

It's an inconvenience.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, fucking A.

But so little kids' eye cancerous side.

Yeah.

Anyway, so that's what Tony Robbins is up to.

That's what he's up to.

Yeah, I don't know what to make of it, man, because I'm just like

bullshit fucking intent.

Oh, dude, there was the one thing I can't take away from him, he is charismatic.

The other thing is he is helping people, at least in that moment.

So

then maybe I got to give it to him.

Yeah.

But I would never do it.

And if I did do it, I couldn't look you guys in the face and be like, I just spent five grand to go see Tony Robbins.

Plus flight, plus hotel.

You would feel embarrassed to reveal that?

Why?

I think so, because I think I'm, and you guys definitely, because you're older than me, but like, I think that I come from that generation.

You know, I was blue-collar.

My father worked for the city.

I worked for the city up until my mid-30s.

And like, there's just that thing of like, plus I'm a fan of old school fucking masculinity.

You know what I mean?

Like, I like the shit that people are fucking getting their panties in a bunch of these days.

Like, I like pulling yourself out by your bootstraps.

I like being a fucking man, handling your problems, getting your fucking head straight, being in business.

Like, I like all that shit.

So, to me, I think there's something, and I'm not saying that's the only path to walk.

That's just mine.

But you could be, you're coming into a world where that's like you're just been chipped out of a fucking glacier, though.

You're an incino, man.

Yeah, this world doesn't want that.

You know, they don't want it.

You're a caveman walking around

in your furry pants.

That's fine, though, because I'm also 40, which means basically the world left me behind.

Like, the world belongs to the young.

Like, I'm never going to have an effect on politics.

I'm never, except for voting for Hillary.

I'm never going to.

You could at this stage,

your stature at this point in the world, you could have a factor.

I can't because you know what my politics are.

Nobody wants to hear my shit.

Nobody wants to hear that, like, you know what?

Men should open doors for chicks.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, nobody wants to hear the shit that I believe anymore.

That men should fucking button up and be a little fucking, tighten up your fucking pants, like be a little manly, stop bitching and crying and whining and all this shit.

That shit doesn't fly anymore.

So I don't.

The best I can do is keep my mouth shut and let the kids fucking run this new pussy ass fucking world into the ground.

Which I'm sure what every generation has said.

Yeah, every older generation has said that about the generation coming back.

And the world's still spinning.

Yeah, still spinning.

This is a fucking all-time low for fucking pussy ass behavior.

I don't know.

Think about war in Vietnam, like all the hippies protesting it.

You don't think people were like, these fucking, these goddamn faggots, they don't want to go to war.

They don't want to be real.

You know what I mean?

No, no, yeah, that I agree with.

I mean, but I don't see problems with people protesting things, but when the problems are like, oh, you said a word I don't like.

I need a safe space.

Oh, I got triggered.

Oh, fucking everyone.

And that's where the fucking me, me, me shit comes in.

It's like, well, this offends me, therefore don't joke about it.

Well, this, you know, oh, you're going to talk about, you know, some topic.

Well, I can't be in this class.

I can't watch this movie.

Why wasn't there a trigger warning that somebody's going to get shot in this movie?

It's just like, give me a fucking break with this shit.

I mean, like you say, I'm sure like the greatest generation now would look at us, you know, at our generation growing up and being like, ah, they're soft.

And maybe that's how you know you're getting old, because you look at the next generation and you're like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

Like, this is who we're putting it in the hands of, a a bunch of fucking pansies.

But I feel, to me,

this, I think, is part of what I was talking about before.

Why I'm happy now.

I am like, take it.

I'm like, take it.

Take it, you fucking millennials and do what you want with the world because I am, I'm done.

Like, my, like, I'm done.

Like, I'm on, I'm on that hill, and now I'm on, like, I'm just looking at the other side, and I'm like, now all I gotta do is coast.

Was there a struggle before you let that go?

Were you still struggling to be like, I want to, I want to be a factor in the world?

No, because because I think the fire department for me,

I think before I got into the fire department, I was a bit of a whiny content.

Brian could fucking attest to that.

Is that true?

Maybe you wouldn't word it that way.

Yeah, I wouldn't word it that way, but I did get carjacked because of it.

Like, yeah, I think that

I needed something in my life that

I think men need to be tested, probably women too, but I can't speak speak to that.

And I never had that until I went into the fire department.

And that was the start of me.

And also, again, growing older, like turning 30 was a big deal.

And I think that, like,

back in the day when like way back in the day, like, fathers would take their kids hunting.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm talking about like fucking pilgrim array.

You know what I mean?

Like, and they would go to war and they would do these things that, like, tested them and hardened them.

And I don't see

only because of my own experiences, Walt, I didn't have that until I went into the the fire department.

And I don't see

a lot of

guys come back from the things that you say harden them.

They come back

changed forever in a way

and legitimately, legitimately

broken from the experience of what I forgot it's called PSD.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.

Yeah, absolutely.

So, I mean,

I mean, well, that's why I'm only speaking of my own experiences.

But there are no tests now.

No?

There have to be.

You just don't recognize them.

Well, that's why I have the world of fucking respect for anybody in the military, because they are the people going through it.

But this generation, like, I don't see anything but softness.

Like, the complaining about the safe spaces, the complaining about

the constant offense, the outrage culture that we live in, it's just like well,

it seems like they want to be.

That's why when you see a news story, like

if it's if it hits all those right points that get people pissed, it's in the forefront.

Yeah.

But there's tons of shit that happens that doesn't hit those same marks that wouldn't get people outrageous.

It's just for the passion, though, to actually

be angry about something and either A, either bring it to light

because,

I mean, for my whole entire existence, I've been passionless.

I don't give a fuck about anything.

I haven't given a fuck about anything outside of my own little circle.

My own little world is all that mattered.

And problems in the real world were like, it doesn't affect me.

I don't care.

I don't care enough to be angry about

some of the things that anger

a generation.

It didn't matter to me because it wasn't affecting me.

I didn't care enough to get hostile about it or to be or to be moved enough to be like, What are we going to do about this?

This is outrageous.

This is wrong.

Let's do something.

No, there's pops missing.

I was just like, Well, is my world all right?

All right, that's all that matters to me.

That's what, that's what this generation, and that's why I don't disagree with a lot of what these people are saying.

In fact, I agree with most of it.

It's the extra

expression of it.

Because they would say, like, well, you you know why, buddy?

You didn't have to fucking do it.

You could only get away with your world?

Because you weren't black.

And you weren't getting fucking harassed by cops just because your skin was black.

Because

you weren't raised in a fucking ghetto.

And they're right.

They're not fucking wrong at all.

No, no, no.

We were raised in a ghetto.

We just weren't black.

Yeah, but it's like, they would say, like,

you had the comfort to be able to live that existence.

Yeah.

And they want that for everybody.

Which, hey, man, I agree with that.

Why shouldn't everybody have that?

But meanwhile,

I thought you were talking about...

I'm not saying that.

I thought you were talking about what you perceive to be trivial things that are causing that.

Well, I think that was a problem.

But that's not a true follow.

No, no, it's not.

But I think if you follow that line with some, like, you get people who are

just need to be, like, the outrage.

When you got a fucking major movie studio, I still haven't seen Ghostbusters.

I know you love it.

When you have a major movie studio telling people, like, well, if you don't like Ghostbusters, you're a misogynist and a sexist, like that's taken too far,

in my opinion, just in my opinion.

And that is what our, I feel as society is now just like, I'm offended by this, I'm offended by that.

And for me personally, this is just me.

And again, I'm a middle-aged fucking white dude.

Like,

you water down the message.

You get it to the point where I'm just like, you know what?

I don't give a fuck about anything because you can't even fucking, you can't say anything without somebody getting offended.

So why would I say anything?

Well, then, well, then that would beg the question.

question.

Why are you sitting in front of a mic then taking a chance?

Because I'm not saying anything controversial.

See, here's the key: you say whatever you want and you fully embrace not giving a fuck at all what someone's opinion of it is.

If you can do that, that's great.

Yeah, it's tough to do, though, if you

especially and you get the emails

that I see.

Right?

I mean,

I don't like to get angry emails or emails say that they're ashamed to listen to Tom Steve Dave.

I don't like to hear that stuff.

My buddy said on Twitter the other day that he was trying to decide which Lethal Weapon movie he wanted to watch, and people went fucking berserk on him.

You're going to watch a movie from that fucking from from that asshole, Mel Gibson.

He's a racist.

He's an anti-Semite.

He fucking did this to his girl.

Like, that's what it is.

Like, and you're just like, no, asshole, I'm going to watch Lethal Weapon, which is a fucking awesome movie.

Like, I don't know how to tell you this.

I think the comment should be like, why the fuck do you feel the need to post this?

Just fucking pick one and shut the fuck up.

That I can agree with.

That I can agree with.

But there's also

something I could never really, I don't know how legitimate it is or how much it's played up.

I don't really know how much it angers you, Brian, these things, these news work.

I don't know if it's legitimate anger or are you amping it up?

But like, I can't identify with someone who gets angry about reading or seeing a story about someone someone being triggered.

Like, to me, I read it and it's and it's in my eye socket and it's out the back of my head immediately because it's it's it's almost like i I can't imag I can't it it can't like make my my uh my needle move.

Right.

And it makes your needle move.

I don't know if it's a legitimate moving the needle or or'cause I don't yeah, I can't identify with that.

I can't identify with being angry uh about seeing a news story about something that you find to be uh like ridiculous like someone was triggered be or like triggered about seeing something in a movie?

Sometimes

I mean lately

as of late it doesn't I don't even really read the news that much so I don't get upset about things but

yes

it's weird like I'll read something and I'll be like look at this fucking puss like I want that I want them right there so I can fucking dress them down and debate them and let them know why they're being such a fucking bitch or why why they're being so fucking childish about something so small.

And I just don't know.

I wish I could get in your brain and kind of like do some laser surgery to cut that part of you out of your brain and

a little lobotomy.

Not a full lobotomy.

I'm not really trained in it, but also I wasn't trained to be an inspirational speaker.

Dude, I'm telling you.

I'd watch

a little brain surgery.

We should send Brian to Tony Robbins.

Oh, I think I think

he's one of those cases that would be impossible to reach, though.

Yeah, what do you think, baby?

You think you would?

Yeah, I think Walt's right.

I'm pretty, I'm fairly cynical.

Yeah, I think I would sit there, and the entire time I wouldn't be listening to the message.

I'd be looking around at everybody, being like, Look at these fucking morons.

Why are they crying?

Why are they letting people touch their heads like that?

Like, yeah, there's no way whatever

he was saying would get through to me, and I would be like, yeah, yeah.

I just, yeah, I just know myself.

But I see more Tony Robbins in him than a Tony Robbins follower, though.

I've seen him do his Svengooli on other people.

Is it because I look like a ghoul that I'm Svengooli and not Svengali?

Svengooli.

I've seen him turn people, like, you know, what are your interests?

Like, the Jedi mind trick.

Not anymore.

These are your interests.

And shockingly, they're my interests, too.

Yeah, what a coincidence, right?

It's the same thing you use on Getham.

No, I don't.

Oh, Getham uses all him?

Yeah.

No, like you tell Geth, you're like, whatever they like, you like.

Well,

I bet we both acknowledge, though, that he's lying, though.

I'm not trying to brainwash him, though.

So you think that's what I do?

I get a hold of somebody.

Some Some brainwashing.

Yeah, I agree.

Some light brainwashing?

Yeah, you've seen some.

You've seen it a little bit in your day, that's for sure.

Yeah, I don't know.

I would like to, and my mother tried to beat it out of me when I was little.

She hated that I was skeptical about shit.

She hated, she was like, why do you always have to ask why?

She would get pissed if I was, like, I showed any cynicism or skepticism about shit.

But I always questioned, like, well, how come and why are things this way?

And she didn't know the answer, so she just got angry.

Yeah, sometimes too much cynicism is a bad thing.

Yeah.

Or sometimes you get on TV,

you get to make fun of people.

Yeah, but

if that was the, if that was the

ills, I'd be like, yeah, you might have just come out just the right amount.

Yeah.

I've tried in the past.

I remember one time I was reading about Buddhism, and I'm like, all right, I'm going to try some Buddhist shit, right?

So, you know, Tibetan Book of the Dead, and I read up on it, and I left home, and I'm like, all right, I'm not going to let anything get me worked up.

I'm going to be all Zen and shit.

Within 10 minutes,

I was trying to cut somebody off

because they were fucking driving so slow.

And I'm like, asshole!

Come on.

If there's one thing I hate, man, it's a motherfucker.

You pull up to a light, right?

And the light's green, and they don't get into the intersection to take the turn.

They sit there right now.

Oh, my God, I want to get out and fucking just put my hand through their windshield.

Like, what is going on in your life that you're content to sit through yet a second revolution of a red light?

What the fuck is the matter with you?

Like, I just want to know the answer.

I just want to know.

Yeah, but

that's a stupid person.

Yeah.

Just chalk it up to that.

I'm behind a fucking idiot.

But even if I found out, even if they were like, well, you know, I have a philosophy about this, and they explained it, I would still walk away being like, I don't buy it.

You know, you're a jerk off.

You're costing me time.

I don't want to sit through another red light for no reason.

And then sometimes I'm like, well, what if he didn't?

I went and then everything changed and I got fucking wailed by a car or something, you know?

Because that's everything comes down to fucking red.

Because where are you going that you need to get there so fast?

Just

a fucking ravioli, bro.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, I got ravioli duty.

I mean, where do you have to go so badly that you need to be, that you can't wait for a light?

It's not that I have to get anywhere that badly.

I just like, I just hate sitting in lines and traffic.

Like, when you think about like, all right, now I'm in line at a store, and now I'm fucking lying at a toll booth, and now I'm in line fucking waiting because some jerk off won't get into the fucking like the amount of time like when you're

what are you doing with it with that time that that would be more useful though i don't know i could watch tv or something

that's that's the real that's the real answer the fucking amount of television everybody talks about i'm just like these people on this set do nothing but watch TV.

That's business, though.

But there's not a chance they're doing anything but watching TV.

Did you watch this?

Did you watch this?

Yeah, did you watch this?

I watched it all.

Like, the hours devoted to watching television is shocking.

It would shock, I think, the normal person.

I don't know how anybody could sit there and watch that much television.

Did you watch Bojack, by the way?

Of course.

Of course,

wasn't it amazing?

Fucking on the water episode.

Like, it was just so great.

Like, one of the best episodes ever.

Anyway, that's all anybody does.

That's all that everybody does with their free time, it sounds like, is watch television.

Yeah, but you got a lot of people who, like, like Q says, they're into TV.

And what does that do, though?

Like, what do you mean they're into TV?

So,

that's their business.

I know, but

how does it help their craft, though, when they're here, though, that

they can't honestly, they just want to watch it.

That's fine, but don't be like, well, I work in the industry.

I got to watch 15 hours of TV a day.

Well, if I don't say that, what do I got?

Yeah, it's yeah, you're right.

I mean, people do talk about TV a lot.

And when somebody's like, oh no, I haven't seen that, I'm like, fucked wrong with you.

How could you not have watched this yet?

There's some good shit out there, man.

Did you almost come to tears at the last episode of Bojack this season?

Like the transition from the next to last episode to the last episode just about broke my heart.

The

that two things that this past season: that moment in Bojack and the very last shot of Rick and Morty when he sacrificed himself, was like, oh my god.

Like I got choked up.

And that doesn't normally happen.

I watch real death videos constantly and it's ridiculous.

Do you remember that episode where they went to a planet where everything was on a cob?

Yeah.

But somebody, because I moderated the Rick and Morty panel at Comic-Con this year, and somebody asked, like, why

was that so terrifying to

Rick that everything was on a cob?

And then Justin Royland went on this rant about how everything's scarier on a cob.

He's like, Hitler on a cob, think about it.

Like, it was just like a three-minute rant about things being on a cob, dude.

It was fucking funny.

I wished you were there for it.

He's a crazy person.

He's just the best.

Hitler on a cob.

It's so fucked up.

It makes sense in his world, though.

Yeah.

He's a great guy.

I love that guy.

Yeah.

Well,

you watch Happy Days, right?

That's pretty much.

I watch reruns of of Happy Days.

But I wouldn't say, though, that I'm transfixed on it, though.

It's my background to

whatever I'm doing at the end of the night.

My rewind or

unwinding.

I'll pop it on.

I DVR it every night.

And then do something else.

Yeah, I'm doing something else, either I'm

drawing or I'm

sorting books, or I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm just petting the dog.

But I'm not like

I'm not like in a hypnotized state, like it sounds like the way you guys fucking see every fucking thing.

Like it's like the Zapruder of fucking

like you're like you're allowed like you're at the FBI watching for fucking some sort of hidden message or something in these fucking TV shows.

They're there, Walt.

I must confess that if I've taken the time to watch two shows about fucking midgets arguing,

maybe I do watch too much TV.

You watch

an alarming amount of television.

And I never used to watch TV.

I never used to like it, but there's so much great shit out there.

Mr.

Robot, I hear someone's like, hey, Mr.

Robot's pretty good.

I'm like, oh, check out.

Check out watching that now.

He says it's unbelievable.

Next thing you know, I'm just like 10 hours in.

I'm like, oh, shit, this is good.

Is it that good?

Oh, it's fucking amazing.

Yeah, it's great.

They should stop putting on good shows because it's just,

it's like opiate for the masses, bro.

Get it out there.

Yeah, it's either that opiate or real opiates.

Yeah, I've tried both.

The TV opiates, it's cheaper and not as dangerous.

Indochino Q.

Yeah.

I got the message.

I got the email.

Suits on the way.

Our suits are on the way.

I can't wait.

We just got to figure out the perfect opportunity to debut them together.

Yeah, I wish we had them tonight.

I know.

It would have been great for the Yoga Hosers Premiere.

Go to Indochino.com, promo code TESD, for any premium suit for just $3.99 and free shipping.

I will tell you that the process was fun and amazing.

I will have a full review of the suit once I have it on.

Nobody fiddled or diddled our junk.

That was my only complaint.

Yeah, I was hoping they would.

Some of those guys are pretty good looking.

They're reinventing men's fashion.

Suit up.

You're going to get a

custom measurements and all that shit.

You're going to be looking, boy.

Just go to Indochino.com.

There's no need to buy off the rack anymore, like a fucking chump.

Yeah, what are you?

A fucking peasant?

Why are you buying off the racks?

Go to Indochino, you fool.

Do you want to hear the one overkill?

Oh, yeah, that I've got.

I forgot we were doing overkill.

We got real

philosophical on this one.

This can't be an overkill.

Don't put the overkill music on this.

Okay, yeah, but I will tell you guys it's because you like comics.

I love comics.

This is about.

Let me just get that in here before anybody go on.

This is about the X-Men predicting 9-11.

Oh, come on.

18 years prior to the destruction of the World Trade Center.

Ooh, I would have probably read this issue then.

Claremont and John Romita Jr., Walt

published a comic that featured the act of a plane destroying the Twin Towers.

Uncanny X-Men 189, Two Girls Out to Have Fun, have become a collector's item for its controversial and apparently prophetic panels.

So it goes on to say the comic was unremembered by him, whoever wrote this.

We had Romita Jr.

in here.

Yeah, we should have asked him, been like, shit, dude, you're like, no, Stradams.

What number is it?

289?

189.

189.

Yep.

And, yeah, they show the panels of the planes flying over the Twin Towers and getting popped.

And

you are.

Alex Jones, blah, blah, blah.

Do you put any weight in it?

I think it's

probably

coincidence, right?

Yeah, I would say so.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think it was profitable.

What year was it?

Probably 1988, 89.

I think it says here, 85, Walt.

85.

Would you be pissed if that's where they got the idea from?

Oh, like the terrorists read the comic, and they're like, oh, shit.

I don't think they're allowed to read the comic.

No, I mean, they're going to allow to do a lot of shit, Kevin.

They're going to strip clubs.

They're going to strip clubs and shit, man.

Well, when they're going to die, they're going to be.

No, I'm talking about over in the Middle East.

I don't know if they're allowed to listen to certain type of music.

I doubt comic books

would be allowed.

I heard that they could.

I was watching an old game show,

and the Muppet Show was banned in Saudi Arabia because there was a talking pig.

Miss Piggy was too controversial for Saudi Arabia.

Even

85.

They don't like

pork, right?

Huh.

Do they?

They don't like pork.

Yeah, I think they're not allowed to have pork, right?

Muslims in general, I think.

Yeah,

so

they banned a lot of stuff over there.

I wouldn't be surprised if comics were on the list, though.

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know.

I don't know.

There are several reasons as to why Muslims do not eat pork.

First off, God has forbidden it in several verses of the Quran.

He has only forbidden you the animals

blood, the flesh of swine.

I think a lot of religions early on weren't down with pork because it's so easy to get sick from it, right?

That's what I heard.

Like, it was a health issue.

Yeah.

So, why

ban Miss Piggy?

It wasn't like you were going to, what did they think that, like, well, oh, wow, I feel like having some pork chops on after watching a Barbara show.

I think you're trying to assign rational thinking to a completely irrational way of life.

Why was Miss Piggy banned in Saudi

Saudi Arabia?

That ban may be lifted, though.

That was a long time ago.

You think Miss Piggy's allowed?

Like, they've loosened their fucking

very stringent.

They could have digitally added a burqa to Miss Piggy.

Can you imagine how different the tone of that would be?

She's fucking hi-ya, chopping fucking turban.

She's a fucking sister.

You're like, who is it?

Yeah, that's the thing.

She's just coming out of the burka.

I'd re-watch that show if they released it like that.

I guess it was allowed in Israel because

but not

but not Saudi Arabia.

Why was the Muppet Show banned?

OMG facts, which I found are not really true that much.

The OMG facts sometimes.

It's like fucking get them writes them or something.

Yeah, that's a weird thing, right?

Some of the shit that.

No, I mean, some of the shit that these countries

lunatics were in the United States were burning Harry Potter books.

Yeah.

Did you see that?

Yeah, did you see that?

When they were popular and coming out, like Catholic groups were burning issues, books of Harry Potter.

It was because.

Because they were witchcraft.

Yeah, it was this, fuck, man.

Let's see.

So it's not like it's that much better over here.

Oh, it's a lot better over here.

Yeah.

Come on.

I mean, they're fucking.

You have the fucking lunatics over here doing the same stupid shit they're doing over there.

Yeah, but

this Harry Potter thing

wasn't Muslims.

It was fucked up.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, not allowing people to watch Miss Piggy is the exact same as burning a book because Harry Potter is in it.

It's the exact same.

Yeah, but you know, but it's not like it's outlawed, though.

It's fucking outlawed.

Like, if you get caught, if if you're...

Well, those people would outlaw it if they could, you know.

But they can't, though.

They burn books from libraries and shit like that.

Oh, yeah.

Here it is.

It was called Jesus Camp.

And there was this big fucking fat lady who

had such contempt.

But anyway, she was such a fucking idiot, this lady.

2006.

It's definitely worth a watch because you're like, you watch these, you watch these children being indoctrinated into such fucking nonsense and crying and being upset and

this fucking blimp of a woman.

You're crying because you can't read Harry Potter?

No, because they think it's evil and they're...

They're like, you ain't missing much.

It sucks.

What are you talking about?

And I saw it a fucking movie.

It was fucking terrible.

I read all the books.

They were good.

The books were better than the movie?

I think so, yeah.

I didn't read the books.

I'm not some ignoramus that'll fucking just say the books suck too because I didn't read them.

No, books were good.

If I had to lay bed, I bet you you they suck too.

Yeah, this woman, I mean, it's

a Bible.

It's better than the Bible.

Fuck yeah, it's better than the Bible.

Come on, that's the best book in the world.

What about the Bible makes it a fucking great book?

Bible is the ultimate beach book.

The Bible is the greatest story ever told.

That's the consensus.

You know that, right?

You're not not going to dispute that?

I know people say that, but

it's not really that good of a story.

Even narratively, it's not even that good of a story.

It's not better than Cryptozoic, man.

I forgot.

See, this is, I don't know why, but I do love shit like this as well.

There's no end to the Bible.

I'm sorry, keep going.

Like Ted Haggard.

In the movie, Ted Haggard, you remember him?

Preaches a sermon against homosexuality.

I remember Ted Haggard.

I'm shaking my head, yes, but I don't remember Ted Haggard.

Yeah, it was a thing.

Ted Haggard was this big anti-homosexual dude, one of these fucking

preachers.

What year would this have been?

The 80s?

No, 2000s.

2003 to 2006.

And, you know, he's going on and on about gay being wrong and gay being evil.

And then it turns out he's fucking smoking crystal meth and smoking pole.

You know, like Jim Baker, Ted Haggard.

Like, I love to see them fucking brought down these judgmental

fucking assholes.

I'm with you, dude.

But that's just man.

Yeah, but the Bible, can we just go back to the Bible?

The religion, though, which is which man will do.

Man

will

shape it and use it to his advantage.

That's what a man does.

But it doesn't mean that

the actual

thought or

the whole thinking of it is wrong.

It's just that man

will ultimately always

wrote it.

Man wrote the Bible.

Yeah, as it was dictated, I thought.

I don't think so.

Dictated by Jesus and the apostles while he was walking around.

That's what I heard.

I'll tell you what, the Old Testament's got some good stories in it, but the New Testament is just like

Job.

That's in that Old Testament?

That's a good story, right?

That's what I'm saying.

The Old Testament's got some good shit in it.

Why don't they make a movie about that?

But now I think Mel Gibson's working on it.

But narratively speaking, the Bible is actually a pretty fucking boring book.

There is no character arc

whatsoever.

I read the Bible, yeah.

And there's a lot of language.

They should do a version that doesn't have a lot of the old ways of speaking, a little bit, make it a little bit more easier for people who don't

have the English feel to it.

But it's like, it's just this fucking dude walking around.

L-M-A-O.

And then Jesus L-M-A-O'd.

He's just walking walking around like fucking preaching at everybody all goddamn day.

Like, how is it even an interesting story?

Like, briefly, Satan's in it, and that makes it interesting.

And then

him getting fucking crucified is pretty fucked up.

And then basically the book ends.

Well, isn't there hidden chapters that no one knows about?

I hope so.

No, I know so.

Well, that was the whole thing with the Bible.

There's things hidden.

There's books or parts of it that the, what's it called?

The Vatican.

Hold on.

There are stories that have not been released to the population.

Why not?

Obviously, those are stories that could cause a lot of problems, I would imagine.

So what do I do?

Lost Bible

verses?

There's a chapter that says gay is A-O-K, and they excise that.

Also, it's, you know, it's obviously it's been reinterpreted, written and rewritten by kings who want to fucking leave shit out or add shit.

Who the fuck knows what to believe?

And that's why anybody who takes it literally has to be fucking mentally retarded.

I don't know, man.

It's a great

message, though, wouldn't you say?

There are several really solid messages

within many religions.

Yeah, but George Carlin fucking summed it up better than the Bible did.

That fucking fucking speechy, you remember that?

Yeah, what was it again?

Oh my god, hold on.

I want to look it up because

he boils down the Ten Commandments

in a fucking purpose better than the Bible ever did.

Let me see.

Here it is.

Do you feel that people who know I know for a fact, I know this is a stat that's true.

People who don't believe in any kind of spirituality or religion are unhappier than people who do.

No, I believe that, and I've said that before.

I think that I am missing out on something by having no faith whatsoever.

I think it's a useful thing for people,

but I just think that

we've wielded it the wrong way.

Well, I know why I'm not fucking religious, because it was so fucking boring as a kid.

Like, they made it horrific.

You know, like, my parents would be like, all right, let's go.

You got to go to Sunday school.

That's not enough.

Now you've got to sit through church.

Hey, guess what?

That's not enough.

Now we have to go to a fucking hour-long fucking social hour where people drink fucking coffee and eat crumpets, and you're just like, you're just waiting to leave.

That's a fucking

Sunday school started at nine.

You didn't get home until one.

I'm like a fucking Quaker.

And by the way, everything that's fucking fun in life, you're not allowed to do.

Right.

You are allowed to do it.

But just with, you know, under

the law

of God, though.

Like, if you were your wife, you could do some of those things.

Not all of them.

Not all of the things you want to do.

Not the really fun stuff.

What does the Bible say about stooling?

You know that would be.

That's the devil's fucking...

It's the devil's playground back there.

That's definitely fucking.

You know that you're

going down the wrong road.

Yeah, I don't think anywhere in the Bible it says give up the ass.

All right.

So that's it.

Well, next week, 300, right?

Yeah.

Next week is 300.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I mean, we put a test.

People are like Sunday school for fucking that you were just talking about to get to get through this to get to 300.

Yeah, I bet you some people like it.

People like, so do I got to sit through a fucking coffee and biscuit social hour now?

You can get a fucking crump kit out of this.

Oh, well.

We kept it real, man.

Yeah, not every real fucking yuck yuck fest.

Well, next week will be, Darikiu.

Can you give any teases for 300?

I mean, do you want me to say that wedding bells will chime?

You can.

Well, everybody knows that.

You already said it, so.

But we can cut that out, though.

I don't think we're editing anything.

All right.

Well, then I will say, you know, dust off your tucks, ants.

You're going to want to listen to this in your finest clothes.

It's everything.

Whatever you hoped it would be, it's going going to be that.

I think it'll come close to what you hope it will be.

I don't think it'll meet everybody's expectations.

I think it's, I've seen some expectations that may be a little outlandish at this point, you know, that it's going to

be better than, like, I don't know, every season of Breaking Bad, I've heard someone say.

Or is it as funny as

I don't know, what are some funny things?

ISOL Comics.

Well, ISOL Comics represents on episode 300.

Mike and Ming are there.

On all-star casts.

All your favorites.

You want to drop who?

We already did.

We already told them.

I think we did.

Sal is on it.

That's right.

There's brand new games that are not derivative of One True3.

The fucking cocksuckers who fucking want to use that as a slag.

They're already gearing up to fucking be like, well,

I don't even think there's a One True3-esque game in the Giddem.

And yes, it's get him heavy.

But I think we use them the right way, though.

I mean, he's getting married.

It kind of has to be get him heavy.

It'd be strange if it wasn't.

Yeah, I've seen a lot of complaints about there's too much get him.

Really?

I have found the opposite that a couple people complain, you know,

using get them too much.

And I say, no, measured doses.

I think we use.

Get him is there exactly as much as get them needs to be.

I mean, how the fuck,

after you guessed what he was thinking last week, can anyone be like, get him the fuck out of here?

That was amazing.

I've seen it.

That was amazing.

Oh, fuck you then.

Seriously.

We should mention that the Zippos are back on sale, right?

I believe they are.

They may be out of stock already by now.

TSD merch is flying

at a rate that's, you know, it's.

I don't go anywhere without the Zippo.

Yeah, I see you flicking it right now.

I'm a dick.

I just have this.

I have both of them, and I'll alternate on days, which one I carry around with me.

Oh, yeah, according to your outfit?

No, just

my mood, my whim of the day.

What do you use it for?

You don't smoke, right?

No, I don't smoke, but you know who I caught smoking?

He likes homeless people, I'm sure.

You know who I fucking caught smoking?

Who?

Mike?

Mike.

Well, he smokes cigars, right?

He was out in the fucking back by the dumpster smoking today, and I could smell.

It was brown.

No, it's a cigar.

Oh, wait.

Was it mellow?

Was it one of the PAs?

No, he was out smoking a cigar.

Yeah, I guess it was a cigar.

You didn't know he smoked a cigar?

Okay, not only does he smoke cigars, but he's become addicted to cigars.

And I have it on good authority that an intervention was staged.

No.

No.

Because he's addicted to cigars.

All right.

So you know why it didn't fucking work?

Because how is there an intervention and I'm not there?

Yeah.

How is there an intervention when I'm not there?

They didn't know.

Who was there?

I think it was his wife and kids.

It is odd that you weren't there, too.

Tony Robbins of Redmet band eaters.

No wonder he's still smoking like a fucking smokestack.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really?

There was a real intervention?

And it still didn't work?

That's what I heard.

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

So, really, wife and kids were like, sat him down.

And kids were like, we don't want you to smoke.

Like, we don't want you to die from, I guess, lung cancer or whatever.

Whatever, isn't what do you mean, or whatever, isn't that it?

You know, or if he lights himself on fire, I don't know.

Yeah, whatever cigar smoking could do to you.

And

he was like, I'm sorry, but I'm more important to me than you.

I don't know.

Yeah, he put a cigar out on one of the kids' legs.

Are you

fucking with me?

No, I swear.

I swear this is what I've heard.

He said he told you there was an intervention?

He didn't tell me.

I heard from another source, a reliable source.

Minchen.

Who, you know, I'm not going to name names, but he he seemed gleeful.

Wow.

So even his podcasting partner wasn't at the intervention?

No.

Wow.

No Bang, no walt.

It's crazy to think it.

I think it would be more powerful, though, if we were Derek.

Then it's really like, whoa.

Well, you're going to be a work with him tomorrow.

Yeah.

Take up the cause.

Save the man.

Like, we're doing podcasting tomorrow for the TV show.

Do you think, like, right before we start, you'd be like, look, everybody gather around, Mike.

We love you.

And we know that you're out smoking smoking cigars by the dumpster in secret.

And we need you to know that this can't go on.

We would love you too much, and we don't want to see you

get sick

because

you are the most important person.

He is, though.

I mean, how the fuck, why is he?

In what regard?

Wait a second.

Oh, that was his wife talking.

Oh, okay.

Well, think about it.

If my son was to have the mic, then it's just you and Geddam in the store all day together.

Yeah, that can't happen.

Yeah, so you're right.

You are the most important person.

He is the most important person.

Wow.

Why would you start smoking cigars?

I don't know, man.

The fucking talons of the white owl have him in this group.

I would say they're probably going to start the movie soon, guys.

We should head over.

Yeah, check out Yoga Hoses.

So tweet Mike Zap Sick at Mike ZapSick and back to him.

Yeah, let's have a virtual intervention.

Nice.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Hashtag most important guy.

And yeah, and tell Mike to stop smoking cigars.

We love him.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

sure if I can do it.

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

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