#300: Git 'Em to the Chapel

Miundies,

they're back.

Miyundi's is probably one of the longest

sponsors that have stuck with Telm Steve Dave through the good times and the bad.

Yes, the lean and the fat times.

Miyundi's has been there.

They didn't fucking respond to the demand.

To what demand?

For you to design a bad thing.

Oh,

I'm so glad they didn't.

I don't feel like doing that anymore.

You want to do it anymore?

No.

So I'm glad that

they didn't respond to that.

They don't need it.

They are so high quality, they don't need

any help from me, that's for sure.

Do you think there'll be like Dollar Shave, where

somebody will buy Miyundi's for a billion dollars?

That's right.

I don't know if the listeners know that, right?

Dollar Shave was purchased for a billion dollars.

Yeah, by Unilever,

some conglomerate of fucking deodorants and soaps and shit.

I think Miyundi's is probably too

about

their own business.

I'm sure they wouldn't even want the billion dollars.

It's all about spreading the underwear.

It's not about the money.

They want people to have soft underwear, not rough cotton shit.

They're like, look, you keep your billion dollars, you corporate fat cat.

Stick it up your ass.

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We don't give a fuck.

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That's how life rolls in the fast lane, baby.

That's actually on here.

Really?

Yeah, that's actually on there.

Oh, good lord.

Get him, Steve, Dave.

Get him, Steve, Dave.

Get him, Steve.

Somebody had come up to you and said,

that guy, get him, Steve, Dave.

Whew.

Yeah, that was the only thing thing they said was whoo hoo.

But he seemed pretty normal.

Yeah, aside from

I think in another world, me and Giddem would be doing it together.

Giddem, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this very special edition of Tell'em Steve Dave, number 300 boys.

Well, congratulations.

Yeah, congratulations to you.

Walt wanted to get started, and now he's texting.

I thought of a good gift for you guys.

Unfortunately, I thought of it today.

So you won't.

So it's still coming?

Yeah,

let's hope it comes.

But yeah.

I see a look in Walt's eyes like, I mean, number 300, with six years now.

Yeah.

A look in Walt's eyes like,

you were supposed to be dead by now.

I didn't think I'd be doing it this long.

But here we are, the nuptials of Gidem Steve Dave, who has recently, like much like a heartworm,

found, like, wormed his way into the hearts of the listeners.

Yeah.

Just as poisonous, just as disgusting.

Are you speechless?

What the fuck?

No,

he hired him.

No, definitely.

I mean, I think

it's been a long, hard road to get there, and he could lose it like that.

Right.

Because what episode were you on where you were holding the domain?

It was very early.

I think Spanish Bry on the Overkills.

When Overkill.

Spanish Bry was number seven on Overkills, but I'm not sure.

Yeah, it was the TST.

Yeah, I don't know what that would be.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

That would be like the second year in.

Wow.

It's been a while, so it took four years for people to tolerate it.

Just like my real family.

Well, I'd say that's 38 years and counting.

Actually,

you don't know your real family.

That's true.

So you can't say that.

That they tolerate.

You're adopted.

You don't know your real family, Gill.

Yes.

Yes.

You will never know.

Because they possibly deep cover operatives.

This is your real family.

Salvo Cano is your brother.

I don't even want to interrupt you, but I would love to, because I'm just holding it in.

I just would love to describe what he looks like right now.

Because you look like a hobo is getting mad.

I feel like it's like the Monopoly guy in public all times.

Look at the collar.

Like,

one collar is up above the.

Well, you're in in a tuxedo, but the jacket's 18 sizes too small.

The collar's too big, and then the collar is shooting up over the bow tie.

But then you have on what appears to be a top hat.

You do look dressed up, but then if you start to just pay attention, even in the slightest, you see that it's all full of water.

Yeah, like from a distance, right?

Do you notice what he has down below?

He's got on cargo shorts and steel-tip work boots.

These gray sh these gray gloves.

The G-Shop Roll Watch.

All donated by wonderful listeners.

That entire ensemble.

Yes.

Oh, and a Porsche shirt.

It is a Porsche shirt.

That is the shirt.

He looks like I drew Ask Jeeves with my left hand.

The other description I heard was an illegitimate handsome cabby.

I mean, the hat was donated, and the gloves and the bow tie by one listener, the jacket by another, the shirt by another.

Wow.

I mean, there's a, I mean, basically everything you see here tonight has been donated by listeners.

So it's like my real wardrobe.

He could jump on a boxcar right after this and no one would blank.

Just missing my Bindle.

Yeah, but we do love him, without a doubt.

There's no more animosity, we agree, right?

Nah, not for a while, actually.

Yeah, I genuinely count Get him as a friend for all the ribbing we give him.

So it's nice to be here with you on this

300th episode and this special day for you and one lucky, lucky lady.

And his birthday.

And his birthday.

Yes.

That was funny.

How old are you?

38.

Before they reached 40 yet, man, still a young man.

When you suggested that we do it today.

Oh, yeah.

He texted me back and he goes, you know what day it is?

I was like, yeah, it's going to be a Thursday.

He goes, no, it's my birthday.

And I'm like,

I should know it's his birthday.

Or care.

Or change plans.

And

I was almost as stressful as when I found out it wasn't your first choice.

I always suspected you were hatched.

Some crossbreed of a chicken and reptilian.

Do you want to get right into the premise of the episode, guys?

Just an LED shining out

inside the egg.

Do you guys want to get right into the premise and explain it to the listeners?

Explain it to some, I'm sure, who are here who have no idea what's going to happen?

Hacked room.

Let's get into it.

Troy just came in dressed better than Gidam.

What's up, Troy?

He was gardening.

Troy just brought down a drug-addled perp and he still dressed better than

that's all right.

The 300th episode is going to be a combination of two things.

The

first thing is the Giddem games.

It's Brian on one side and Q on the other, representing a 13 percenter in a series of Giddam Steve Dave-centric games

for TSD Town history as one of these potential suitors will vie for the hand of Gidham Steve Dave in TSD Town's first wedding.

Vie for the soil-donated glove.

Let's want to, right off the bat, meet the two suitors.

Let's meet them.

Contestant number one is a chicken farmer from New Jersey.

Let's say hello to Ashley.

Now, Walt, I purposely, Ashley, I hope you love the ladies did not think that I was being rude before the show.

I purposely didn't want to talk to you.

Because I'm famous.

Period.

Yes.

So I hope we were clear on that.

If you have any.

I want to talk to you after.

For the purpose that the mics are on,

I will appear

congenial.

Yes.

All right.

No, I wanted to just question you and learn about you only on mic.

So this is going to be interesting.

Also, please don't make a farmer contact.

Well, you have any questions for it, Q?

A chicken farmer, huh?

Yeah.

What's involved with that?

How many chickens?

600.

Holy shit, I thought you were the six.

Oh, my God.

So you just have, like, are they free-range?

We We love chickens, or fuck them, we love them.

Or are they all in one cage?

Or are they like chicken chicken?

No, they're free-range.

Like, they go in at night in their coop, but then, you know, we let them out all day.

So they're free-range.

All right.

How is it that this amazes me?

Like, Staten Island Bridge, you guys talk totally different.

South Jersey, I mean, a couple exits down the parkway.

And you sound more like you're from Philly or something, right?

No.

Have you been to Philly?

Yes, you do.

I don't go.

I'm busy on the chicken farm.

I I don't go to the business.

So that's

a bad chicken.

You're picking up a chicken accent.

Is it a family farm?

Or is it your own personal farm?

It's not my own personal farm.

So it's a family-owned farm.

Sounds like somebody else I know at a family-owned farm.

What are your duties on the chicken farm?

Talk me through your day.

Okay, well,

like, I actually have a full-time job.

I don't, like, that's not my exclusive thing.

Oh, do you want to talk about that?

Or you don't want to reveal?

I could reveal it if you want to know.

Yeah, of course.

Well, I thought you didn't want to reveal it.

I don't want to reveal it, like, my workplace.

Yeah, we're not using, we're not using it.

No, we're not using like last names or school districts.

Okay, all right.

As a janitor.

Okay.

All right.

Sawdust on the kids growing up type stuff?

Yeah.

Can they still do that?

Can they still do that?

Yeah, it comes in like little bags.

Chicken feed.

Right?

On the vomit.

And what,

you know, jump in, guys, if you have any questions.

Well, what would happen if you combined a horse farm and a chicken farm?

Would the chickens and the horses get along, or would there be problems?

I think you're talking dynasty.

Would they get along?

Yeah, chickens, they kind of just go off on their own.

And the horses don't.

You don't have to worry about the horses eating the chickens or stepping on the chickens.

I didn't think horses ate meat, do they?

If I did, yeah, they might get stepped on the ground.

I don't think they get

Well, not anymore.

Now they're getting married.

How did you get into chicken farming?

How long have you been doing it?

Well, my parents have been doing it since before I was born.

How old are you?

29.

Oh, kid them.

A younger, a younger lady.

Yes.

All right.

Anybody else?

Do you

form an attachment?

Can you tell chickens apart?

They all look the same.

They're all red, and then we have some

are like,

so you don't you couldn't tell one from the next when you walk out of the coop and go back in.

No, you can't tell them apart because they're just they kind of all blend together.

Is it is there any type of connection to like do you feel like an emotional are you just are they just dropping eggs or are you you also um do they have names?

No, um pretty much we just sell the eggs like we don't eat them

so you're not yeah we don't we don't eat them ourselves but we sell the chickens if somebody wants wants to kill them.

Okay.

Like, we don't kill them.

For sport?

No, like, if they want to eat

how many,

you know, they want to eat all the stuff.

You guys kill the micotanists.

Yeah.

Do you ever feel inside a twinge of guilt about the chicken flesh trade that you're involved in or no?

Sometimes.

But it doesn't stop you.

Yet she stayed.

Yes.

All right.

And I guess what everybody really wants to know is why

are you here?

What is going on in your life?

Honestly, like when I first heard the idea, I did laugh it off.

I'm like, who the hell would do that?

Yeah.

Then, like, a couple nights later.

Then you looked at 600 chickens.

And a couple days later, I'm at work and it kind of popped in my head again.

I'm like, oh, what the hell?

I'm not going to get picked.

I'm like, there's no way they're going to pick a janitor/slash chicken farmer.

No way.

Why?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I figured one way.

How long have you been listening to the show?

I figured somebody.

Apparently, you put yourself at the top of the list.

I figured somebody more interesting would write in.

Again, you are probably, that's probably one of the most interesting things I've heard.

Am I the only chicken farmer listener?

Like, is that a slash janitor?

Yeah, slash.

Yeah.

Wow.

Well, if you marry you.

Yeah.

Are you going all the way?

Are you going to consummate this marriage?

Oh, you're talking about that.

Yes.

Seeing as how it's going to take those four to five hours to get out of that fucking tiny outfit.

the hat alone is going to take us out.

You look like if I was walking down the street with my niece and you were walking toward me, I would cross, I would be like, let's go right now.

Hold my hand.

We're crossing the street.

I know that man.

I'm going to cross by this man.

He probably has an organ and a monkey.

He looks like a fucked-up magician whose one magic trick is making children's virginity disappear.

And let's let's meet contestant number two

contestant number two

is also from New Jersey and she's a student let's say hello to Erin

dazzle us Erin what do you got

what are you studying to be a school teacher school teacher

grade school elementary school yeah how are the benefits with that this is very important forget them

A lot of dental work.

So the benefits are we looking at.

Will he be covered under the umbrella of your insurance?

I don't know.

I mean, she still has three years until she completely.

I currently have benefits.

Dental?

I have dental,

medical prescription, and all the free chicken you can eat.

I know the free chicken and eggs.

You love wings, bro.

I'll bring the the oil.

You'll bring the chickens.

Where is it?

We're always locating where you're at.

You'll never have to ever update it.

What's it called when you were you online?

Where you already tell where you're reading?

Oh, Frank and Foursquare.

No, Frank III, he used to do that all the time.

What was the name of that?

Foursquare background.

Yeah, Foursquare.

All right.

So we're going to ask the two suitors.

Oh, Leslie Shell hasn't known.

Yeah, we have questions.

I'm sorry, Walter.

How old are you?

I'm 19.

19.

Wow.

Wow.

That is exactly half of Gethiece.

It is.

Wow.

Exactly today.

What brought you here?

Like,

what in your life allowed you to put yourself in a position where you may, by the end of this today, be legally married to Gedam C.

Dave?

Gordon.

Okay.

I think that's why my PC is like Gedam.

I did it for kids.

I think it's what started most of the wars.

He seems like a thrilling guy.

Had you ever met Gedam in person before today?

And upon seeing your would-be suitor, top-line thoughts, what do you got for us?

We're going to work on it.

Oh, really?

You see him as a fixer-upper?

Not a fixer-upper, but like...

As much as a teardowner.

I will not be seeing you 600 chickens.

Okay.

But I like.

The potential there, you think.

Yeah.

Had either of you seen him in the floor.

Even a photo of Gedim before.

Yes, I know what he looks like.

Okay, did you as well, Erin?

His Twitter pictures a lot.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

A lot?

Yeah.

It's true.

A lot of people, when they see Genham, pictures of Genem, they say, wow, he's a good-looking guy.

We've heard that over the years.

And then they realize they're looking at pictures from 20 years ago.

He doesn't look like a billionaire hobo in his third.

No, Genham has, against my advice, you've put on a little bit of weight in recent years.

Yeah, well, no, it's because I listened to other advice.

Stop going to the flea market.

Just stop going to the flea market.

I just buy it.

Right.

All this other stuff.

Fuck you, cute.

I'll get it back.

I still think you're very handsome.

Oh, this is when you look like Matt Dylan here.

Yeah, you're still a good-looking guy.

I wish you would stop at the fry food.

Well, that's still the same guy.

I know, but in a couple of corners.

Then I saw a more recent picture, and I really smoked a lot like my older brother.

Uh-oh.

Kind of creepy.

But I had already emailed Brian, so I looked like.

Good hit on send.

Well, you don't sound very empathetic.

That's a serious thing.

No, I am.

I'm just really nervous.

She's very nervous.

She's very nervous.

Is there anything that we could all do?

We were all friends already.

This is probably, you've never been on the podcast.

Anything that we could do to put you at ease at the top of this before we go forward?

Anything at all?

Yeah, shots.

I want you guys to enjoy this as well.

I have some pills out in my truck.

I was at first.

But

what?

Would you have those?

This guy's got pills out in his truck.

Like, what are your own pills?

Yeah, keep your mouth shut.

I've worked so hard to make everybody love you.

Don't fuck it up.

Like, horse pill?

No.

Chicken pill.

Chicken sprang.

Oh,

right, wow.

Wow.

So, how do your parents, both of you, feel about you possibly getting married today?

I told my mother about it this morning.

She was like, What the hell are you doing?

She said, What's a podcast?

That was exactly it.

She goes, I don't understand the point of a podcast.

She goes, what?

She's like, you just listen to people talk.

I'm like, pretty much.

And I played her some classic ghetto moment.

She was like, oh, actually,

what you're like, don't do this.

What would be a classic ghetto moment?

When he was talking about the bottle dump.

And she was like, oh, she goes, so he goes in the woods and digs up bottles.

I said, pretty much.

Yeah, that could be a nice date.

Are you.

in trying to make this work,

are you going to go out on it together and see if you guys connect and then eventually possibly

move in together and have a life together?

We have to see what happens.

But no one's ruling that out.

No.

I mean, you could turn out to not like each other and then nix it, but you're also not ruling that out that you guys might end up having a life together if something clicks.

Yes, I mean, I don't really know him.

Right, but we all know that.

So

everything's on the table.

Everything's on the table.

Yeah, pretty much everything's on the table.

Especially this box cutter that's getting a little bit

to cut himself out of his clotheslines.

All right, you guys want to hear the rules?

What they're dealing with here?

Well, I got one more question.

One more question.

Are you excited about being married by Reverend Salvo Cano from TVs and Practical Jokers?

Does that add a little razzle-dazzle to this for you two ladies?

Or does that do nothing for you?

He's sitting right there, just say yes.

Yeah,

I would feel better if it didn't.

I want it to be about get him.

You know what I mean?

It has nothing to do with me.

Although, you know, you're welcome.

Most people pay Sal upwards of $20,000 to get married.

Yeah,

yeah, so you're getting

it once.

You can do it at install.

So you're getting this for 50% off.

That's amazing.

That's an amazing offer.

All right.

All right.

Sorry, Walt.

Oh, no, no, go ahead.

Just so

you guys are going to go over to the table over there, and I'll read you some of the rules.

And then Brian and Q are going to draft their teams.

Kind of old school yard, you know, schoolyard playground kind of pickup game.

And then

we'll begin the games.

Who picks first?

I flipped the coin earlier, and Brian won.

Did you really flip a coin?

Well, there's nothing if he is not completely fair about it.

So the premise of the game will be

you will be represented.

Contestant number one will be represented by Brian's team.

Contestant number two will be represented by Q's team.

There'll be a series of games.

There's one game where you guys will be able to partake in, but

for the rest of the games, you guys are just sitting on the side, just waiting to see.

Letting us decide your feet.

Don't worry, ladies, I've been there before.

It's not comfortable,

but I've survived, as you can see.

I didn't tell him Steve Dave tattooed.

It hurts.

He busted it out in Chicago.

It hurts him to see it.

It's still a little itchy, though.

It's still itchy?

You got it done in like a back alley abortion type setting.

Oh, God, no.

What are the symptoms of gangrene again?

Whatever you have.

So

at the end of the games,

when there's one team that's won slash contestant, the contestant will be asked if she wants to marry Get Hem Steve Dave and also receive a lifetime supply of Tell'em Steve Dave merchandise released after this episode drops.

We're not grandfathered in.

So it's not any prorated stuff.

Yeah, it's not any of the stuff that's out existing or that may come out after we record this.

When the episode drops, anything that comes out, band camp, digital downloads, t-shirts, animated movies.

After the date that the episode is released, not after today.

Not after today.

When the episode is on to listen on your computer,

then you will, then I'll have your address and I will mail you any merchandise that we release for the rest of your life.

If you choose, if you, there's also option B.

If you win and you say to yourself, not interested, I don't want to get married to him.

You can defer and have the loser marry get him Steve Dave, but you lose the lifetime.

The lifetime supply of the marriage is a marriage

release after.

As if that is the.

The fact that to one of them, that might be the clinic.

But if you defer, nobody gets any lifetime supply.

It's just a marriage, and that's it then.

So the

other thing is let's say that you

for lack of a better word.

If if you defer and

then you get nothing but also Erin does not get it.

All she gets is the marriage.

Oh, she doesn't even get the free merge?

Really?

Not the merch.

Not the merge.

That's why you go make that's why I make it weigh heavily.

Right.

Oh, okay.

Because that is lifetime merge.

That's a lifetime merge.

Oh, yeah.

Once the pod drops.

Yeah, okay.

But at any end, who knows how long your life is going to last after marrying kiddo?

I thought that the loser would then claim all the merch.

Yeah, I thought the loser got everything.

Well, there will be something, there will be something special you will claim if the loser, but it won't be the lifetime merch.

I'm sorry, ladies, that is not.

It's going to be on par with Reiser, really.

But if you win and you accept it, then you get it.

You get everything.

You get the marriage, you get the merch.

You get all the lifetime merch, which probably would shake out to a couple hundred bucks.

You're going to get that, as well as the husband.

And also, if you whoever walks away, also, from this moment on, or from you know, at the end of the episode, as

you will never be referred to anything else but Mrs.

Giddam.

That's right.

Aaron,

that goes for school, your friends.

Do I have to legally change my name?

No.

Only a tell him, Steve, Dave, Talon.

You can hyphenate.

All right.

So

I also want to let everybody know that Giddam Steve Dave will be scorekeeper and also judge on any contested gameplay.

He has final say.

Whatever he says goes.

Wow.

This is a big deviation from

making shit up as you go along.

All right, so we're ready to start the team draft.

So if the contestants would take their places over at the table, Big Bry, you won the...

You won the coin toss.

We're about to have your first round selection.

Can you give us a rundown of who we're picking the pool well i thought as we introduce them we'll that will we'll you know as he as they get picked we'll hear from them okay

who who is who who's on who's on the uh you're on the clock who's your first pick my first pick is going to be a guy who whose job is to think on his feet to think quickly to come up with shit amazing shit okay pick sal sal

oh man

now that's it that's going now as the experts are shaking their heads right now oh well he's got the

huge personality and a tremendous sense of humor.

What is his Gidem

factor?

What is his Gidem knowledge factor?

I say it's close to zero.

That's a good point.

Didn't think about that, did you?

No.

I'm down in style.

A sorry contest of number one, but I didn't really think this through with that first-round pick.

So, Q,

you have now, you have your choice of all the listeners who may know Giddem the best.

Got to go with Troy.

Got to get Troy on my team.

Troy.

Gotta get Troy in.

All right, Troy, you guys.

Come on, buddy.

I know.

Come on, pal.

That's it.

First-round pick, Troy.

That's right.

And what do you think?

I mean, not to brag, but what do you think your Giddem knowledge is on a scale of one to ten?

I mean, I've listened to every episode he's been on, but I still have no fucking clue what the guy's about.

Well, that's all of us.

I almost had to hit the live pod.

Woo!

Sorry?

I said, I almost had to hit the live pod, didn't I?

I did, because you threw me, because there was that one thing that I knew was true, but I didn't know the other piece of the story.

And your math was all fucked up.

So that's good that I got in scorekeeping.

All right, Bry.

Pick number two.

Okay, now, in this guy's history, I would imagine being the scared pussy nerd that he is, he's always picked last.

Not this time, though.

Chris Lodonda.

Oh!

Ghost pussy.

All right, all right.

What an intro.

All right.

We're taking each other's picks.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be all Staten Island against all Jersey.

That's what I was thinking.

I think everybody was wondering if that was going to be the case.

But it's not.

No.

All right.

Well, the second you were like, you better get some knowledge and get him.

I'm like, all right, that would be Chris then.

All right, Q.

I got to go Ming Chen, ladies.

I tell you, to be honest, the experts had him picked.

He was the highest, he was the projected number one pick overall.

I would have picked him first, but I knew I had to block Brian from getting Troy.

You know, Troy was the

major asset.

So we have to do that.

Thank you.

Yes, about building a good team here.

I think Ming has a vast knowledge of early Gidham history, but I wonder since

his own career has taken off, if he's been listening to home Steve Day as much as he used to.

Probably not.

You think I've fallen off?

All right.

But no, not since 1992, since the Dream Team was assembled at the Olympics, has

such a team been assembled.

I'm honored to be on the Gidem Dream team.

Thanks, Pal.

All right, we got room to

draft another person, Bri?

Yeah, so we got, let's see, Sunday, Mike, Frank Five, Robert Bruce.

Robert Bruce, yeah, to make it even.

Robert Bruce.

Okay, let me think.

You know,

I think I'm going to go.

Rob Bruce wouldn't know a lot about Gidem, though.

Hmm.

Get him.

Looks like his squatter friends

found his body dead, and they had to shuffle real quick for a funeral out there.

That tone of wit's not going to help you, team, though, Brian.

It's good shit, though.

It is good shit, but we all benefit from that.

Frank Fiverr, Rob Bruce.

Rob Bruce does have a long-standing relationship with

Gedam.

Get him, he does.

And it's been a long time since he's been on Telme Steve, Dave.

I guarantee he hasn't listened.

Right.

He may not need to know to get him.

They tried to do a podcast together, and it never really panned out.

Yeah.

Wasn't it because they couldn't stand each other?

Yeah.

I'm going to go with Frank Five.

I think he knows more.

Frank number five.

All right.

Wow.

All right.

I don't think Sunday Jeff listens to the show.

Now, that's.

He has been working with Giddem for the past week.

He works with Giddem now on a daily basis, well, on a weekly basis.

But so does Chief.

That's true.

And Chief listens to the show.

He does?

I think so.

You don't listen?

I don't listen.

I like to hear myself get

ISO comics.

I feel that with

the show.

I feel that Chief is.

I knew that Brian was going to undervalue him.

Wow,

going out on a limb.

I knew that Brian was was going to undervalue him, so I felt confident saving him for a late pick, but I do feel that Chief

knows get him, listens to the show, has been around ground zero for a lot of get him moments.

I'm going like Zapsick.

I think having the iSelf Comics team on one team

is a great drafting choice.

Yeah, I agree.

Great move.

GM of the year, maybe, with that.

That's right.

When was the last thing I guess put on an episode?

It was recent, right?

Like last week?

Seven minutes ago.

Seven minutes ago.

Yeah, pretty much.

So we got either.

I like that.

I guess they had a paying attention.

We'll be jerking each other off the whole time.

Sunday Jeff or Rob Bruce?

Sorry, Sunday.

Really?

Oh, he doesn't know that much about get him.

Wow, you're Robin.

Rob Bruce is now.

Rob Bruce.

Plus, anytime I can pick Rob Bruce against Mike.

What world do we live in that Sunday Jeff is the last overall pick in TSD Town?

Because I feel like in a world where he's a Jew.

I think that Sunday Jeff operates, I mean, he's on my team, right?

I got some technology.

You're over there.

Sunday, there's a red high chair over there.

Despite how this shook out, still an eerie amount of silence from both of the potential brothers.

That was done on purpose.

All right.

So

confident in my team.

Do we have a microphone for Chief?

I don't love to.

We'll be rotating.

When it's their turn to play, we'll be flipping in and out of live mics

when it's an actual player's turn.

Got it, great.

All right.

So

each team will start off with 10 get them points to start out with.

And you have 10 points already in the bank.

Get him points.

And so you got that already.

Wow.

All right.

So the first game we're going to play is.

I believe you lost Troy.

I know.

You fool.

I was really hoping you were going to pick somebody else, and I was building my dream team from the ground up.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, I think you're going to be doing it.

Ladona's strong, though, man.

No, LaDonal's strong.

I didn't see you picking Sal as

a first round.

If there's Geth's subjective questions to get him's opinion, I feel like I can come in handy.

But

if it's all factual,

I'll give you a swash.

You're on your own.

You're welcome to try to get into this head sales.

Yeah, you're not going to be able to go to your partner's knowledge.

You have to just make a guess on your gut instinct.

Your giddem instinct.

Hey, Sage, you know what we're here to say?

Congratulations, Gidem Steve Dave.

He got married.

Remember, you were there?

Oh, yeah.

You were the flower girl.

Me?

Yeah, remember?

You were putting the flowers on the ground?

Cat.

I know, Princess Mitch, right?

Stop.

Stop, Princess Mitch.

You're trying to to toast Giddem Steve Dave.

And say, congratulations to Gidem and Mrs.

Gidem, right?

Yep.

It just goes to show, Seij, even if you have the muscle tone of a clam, the personality of a mental patient, the sex appeal of a garbage barge, there's still someone for everyone out there, right?

Do you think?

What's so funny?

Talk about getting married?

No,

that is good.

You think you're getting married?

No, no,

not yet.

Not yet.

When?

I'll push it.

When you get a boyfriend?

Yeah.

You're never getting a boyfriend that won't allow it.

You're going to be a spinster.

You know what a spinster is?

Somebody.

I'm an asshat?

Yeah.

Oh,

you think you're funny, huh?

Just say congratulations to Mr.

and Mrs.

Gidem.

That's okay.

Say congratulations to Mr.

and Mrs.

Giddem.

Say, what do you say?

When people get married, I forget.

My

boy.

Our condolences.

Do it.

Yeah.

Condolences, Mrs.

Gidham.

Yeah.

Thank you, Ants, for 300 episodes.

Right?

Yep.

Stop hitting me in the face before I knock you out.

Declan, you better take that out.

Do it again, do it again.

We're still doing it.

It's still recording.

Okay.

So,

Dada, other I'd cool do it.

Dada, you just like seeing the light bars go up, right?

Oh, so

dada, giggle, hey.

That's it, you're dead.

I'll fight you.

I'll fight you.

Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends, aunts, and idiots of TESD Town, those of us at the ISO Comics and the Ming and Mike Podcast, and I, the esteemed 123 champion, would like to congratulate Gidham and Mrs.

Gidham on their unholy and unconventional nuptials.

I first met Gedham regaling us with tales at the Collingwood Flea Market, and from that point on, I would have bet all the money that is making Brian Quinn Cash poor that he would die alone of alcohol poisoning during a rousing bout of drunk story time.

Or maybe not so alone, for are you truly alone while you are being watched from 18 different angles from 18 different webcams?

But as they say, there's someone out there for everyone, and I'm glad that you, Gedam, have finally found your lifelong match.

May your marriage last as long as one of my interminable raps.

May your many children be toothsome and not feeble-minded, unlike their father.

May your new bride be able to adapt and understand your unique and very odd lifestyle.

May your family enjoy a bountiful feast made from rotten meat dug out of the fucking garbage.

May all your ups and downs be between the sheets that you bought second, or third, or fourth hand at the Collingwood flea market.

And may your love last forever, for may you never get bottle-dumped.

So, everyone, please raise a toast, for I would like to congratulate the new Mr.

and Mrs.

Getem Steve Dave.

Here, here.

All right, so the first game we're going to play, and what will alternate between each team, is called Don't Fear Fear the Giddem Reaper.

This game is about things that frighten, upset, or give Gidem the willies.

I'll read two items.

This game won.

This is game ready.

Higher education.

One is.

Oh, boys.

One is a real fear, one is a fake fear.

Teams must, well, a team or player must decide which is the real

Giddam fear.

After hearing the two options, Q or Bride will place a ⁇ well, the player will place a wager on each, so you have to bet some of your Giddam points if you're going to get it right or you're going to get it wrong after you hear the two options.

So you can go bet high or bet low.

Giddam will reveal

the real answer with a short, very short explanation for his potential brides, because this game allows Giddam's new bride to learn things that scare or upset Giddam and limit his exposure to them to the best of her ability

in their life together.

Amen.

Pay attention, girls.

All right, so the captains will go first.

You got the first pick overall, so I think Q, you should go first.

All right.

Being put in prison or breaking a lock and a key.

Breaking it like a key and a lock?

Yeah, like when you try to put a key in a lock and it it breaks.

Which one of those is the one?

It either upsets, scares, or gives Giddem the willies.

So one answer is true, and the other one, who made up?

Was that you?

No, it wasn't me.

Why would it make a difference who made it up?

Because I know how your mind works.

I went to Ants to get these.

Oh, okay.

All right.

One of those ones that should be obvious.

I know, that's the thing.

Any other person at this table, I would say prison, but because it's Giddem.

Well, all right, but wait, wait,

don't forget, you have to say your wager.

Out of your 10 points, how much you're willing to wager.

Yeah, all right.

What's your maximum wager?

You can bet it all.

So that was an irresponsible question.

How is the question posed to get him?

What are you afraid of?

And he gave an answer?

I said,

give me a list of things that scare, upset, or give you the willies.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to bet

two Giddam points on lock broken in the key.

Survey says.

And get him, please reveal your fear

to the room.

That really does freak me out.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I got two?

I just got 12 Giddam points.

Great job.

Great job.

Play a little

conservatively off the bat just to get the lay of the land.

Especially how often that happens.

I work in security.

It happens a lot.

The potential is there every day.

He faces out of the air every fucking day.

You don't know what it's like to be on the front lines.

He said, I'll be careful with little shackles.

You think there's keys to them?

All right, front line.

That's some dark shit, you know.

She must be wooing these lovely women.

It's even darker because of the outfit.

We just turn around, the brides are gone.

He looks like Mr.

Peanut.

Mr.

Peanut had a peanut allergy.

All right, Brian, are you ready for your set of fears?

Yes.

The sight of blood or midgets with a limp.

You know how some walk with kind of a bow-legged limp?

Right, they prefer little people.

If they don't have their prescription shoe on, yeah.

Okay, the sight of blood or midgets with a limp.

I mean, come on.

Remember, it's not just fears, it's Willie's or creep creeping out.

So it's not.

He's probably seen a lot of blood.

That's what I was thinking, too.

He's seen a lot of blood.

Well, you were supposed to get help for

it.

Well, so we all freaking shoot.

Yes, yeah, you're all going to be going right in a row.

Yeah.

I got you.

You're talking about just one.

You're going to get your own set.

Right, I got you.

I'm going to go conservative.

I'm going to go two.

Two.

Get them coins or points or whatever.

I mean,

how often do you have occasion to see a midget with a limp

that it would give you the willies?

In 48 years, I have not seen one.

How many bottle dumps have you been to?

Are you talking about midgets with a limp or like when they have both legs and they're like a bow leg thing?

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's not an an actual like orthopedic thing.

Right, so we're talking dwarves then.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go that then.

I just feel like he's probably seen a ton of blood on a farm and in his personal life.

The question is blood or a human?

A human.

It's like, I don't got it bad enough.

I'm freaking you out.

Two points.

Is on the table, get him.

What what was your real fear?

I really hate blood.

Oh!

That again, young ladies, that is good news.

Wait, who?

Which lady am I?

You're playing for Aaron.

No, contestant number two.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Is that a hint for you guys to menstruate?

Do they want us to move?

Are they rooting for the routine?

I hope so.

Should be, right?

All right, Troy,

you were the first

overall pick for Q.

Come on, buddy.

You got this.

People with ridiculously large muscles are being indoors with a crowd.

I know the answer to this.

He's probably averse to muscles.

Now, am I picking how many we're betting on this?

No, Troy

has to wager his own amount here.

I mean, Giddam has done everything possible to avoid large muscles.

He's certainly averse to them.

I mean, looking at the crowd he's hanging out with right now.

All right, I'm going to go to get him points on muscles.

Get him, Steve.

Dave, reveal your fear.

I really do hate being inside with a large amount of people.

Yeah.

No, no get him points.

So, what was it like at the live show then, as you're walking from the corner?

He's waiting to go.

Remember, I was saying when we were hanging out in the bar, he was standing off to the side because he didn't like the crowd.

And when I got into a bottleneck in that corner, it was freaking me out.

Yeah.

When I hit the bar, coming around because I thought I could go around.

You look like in a Bob Hope movie when a drunk hobo pops out of a trash can to really knock a singer in.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's what you look like.

You're just missing a flower

in the hat.

Yeah.

So you hate crowds, but you dig dudes with large muscles.

That's why I'm sitting next to Troy.

All right.

I'm still up.

Don't worry, Troy.

Don't worry about it.

All right, so

still no points on the board for Chrysler.

I know.

I may as well toss a point.

And they lost two points, right?

All right, Troy.

You knocked them down to eight, right?

No, they're a ten.

They're an eight, they're a ten.

No, we're at ten.

Ten.

They're eight, we're ten.

Yeah, because they went up.

We won two the last one.

We went down by two.

So they would have eight.

So ten?

No, no, we had twelve.

They have eight.

Yeah.

They have eight, they have ten.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

I like how Goodim's the official scorekeeper that I was arguing over.

All right, Sal.

A person who is obviously sick or a person hiding behind a door.

How the fuck would he know?

Oh, God.

So long as it doesn't matter anybody's skill level, I'm going to do it.

A person obviously sick or a person hiding behind a door.

Well, how many people are intentionally hiding behind doors?

Do you mean like when he notices someone behind a door that he didn't see was there?

Or do you mean the person had intent to scare him from behind the door?

Like if he swung that door open the door of the bathroom and someone was there, do you mean that?

He's like, ah!

I think somebody who's there to jump out and go, boop.

So someone's scaring you.

So scaring you or a person who's obviously sick.

Okay, I'm going to go with what I think most of the personal population.

Okay, points.

Well, you're down to 10 and we have 8.

What happens if you get to zero points?

You're going to be going backwards and then you're then

battling.

You're going uphill.

Oh, you can bet niggas.

You're not going uphill, yeah.

So I can bet 100 points right now, even though I only thought of a 10 and I'm down 90.

You could.

A million points.

You only have eight points.

Yeah, but you could correct that with a million points swinging the other way.

It's like the same exact.

Everything's everything.

Let's play the game, Sal.

Let's play like we're in Atlantic City.

If I bet 5 billion get him points right now, they're going to be behind 5 billion.

You can only bet as many points as you had.

If you're the negative, you can wager up to 5.

Take notice right there, Lisa.

That authoritative.

he came in so quick with that, with that kind of like rule.

He shut him down.

Take charge.

He just told you you can only bet eight points.

I want this to get interesting.

And so, if I bet three get him coins, and I get this right, we pull him to the lead.

And I feel like if I'm thinking about what most normal people would do,

nine out of ten people would say a person who's obviously sick.

Is it like that scene in the Princess Bride where he's like switching the fucking wines?

But yeah, but it's get him, so then he's the one.

I'm going to bet, I'm going to make it interesting.

Forgive me, but I'm going to do three get him coins

to potentially pull into the league, and I'm going to put it all on the line.

I'm going to say a person who's obviously sick.

Go ahead, get him.

If I go into a place and there's a door closed, it freaks me out, especially because

there's doors and keyholes everywhere.

Exactly.

That's what it's like, dude.

That's the struggle.

No, I will tell you, like, if I go in my mud room and the door, the bathroom's all kind of closed.

Is that your bathroom?

That's no mudroom.

It's between the outside of the house and the kitchen.

There's a mudroom.

The outhouse.

Nothing.

You have a bathroom and a waterfall.

Up across a mud room.

It's a mud room.

It's a country shop.

All that stuff is swirling around in your head every day.

Is that why that hat's trying to pop off?

I still don't know what a mudroom is.

You have a mud room without a door.

Is there a mud room with a room?

It's a dirt floor.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, you go to the big house.

It's the vestibule.

Like a sun porch.

It's like where you would drop with shoes and stuff so the mud doesn't get your clothes.

It's a dirt floor.

It could be a dirt floor, too.

It's a huge house.

You're like, oh, my floors are dirt.

I saw people when I first moved to the Highlands

with mud rooms, and they never had any floors.

It was just dirt.

That's why I thought it was planted.

I thought the purpose of the room was so you don't drag mud into the house.

Exactly, yes, it is.

For normal people, yes.

All right.

You want to give us an update on the sport?

Team Bry with five, Team Q with ten.

Five.

All right, Ming 10.

Okay, I'm up.

Sorry, I'm up.

Mirror your ball.

Let's break this wide open, Ming.

Let's break this wide open.

Okay, what do you got?

All right.

Now, Ming, I would like to just point out

usually wins in contests.

He usually always gets to the end and he wins a lot.

Because

he's really concentrating and he wants to do well.

It's a very important thing.

He's not worried about getting laughs.

Right.

What an assa laugh.

I was looking at you.

So fucking sensitive.

Get on out of here.

So arrogant.

So arrogant.

All right.

Okay.

Ming Chen.

Yes.

Falling.

Well, how many.

Oh, I guess.

Okay.

Yeah.

Falling.

Okay.

Or the slime on a

biscuits when you open a can.

Wow.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, you know, when you pop a can can and there's like some slime on the biscuits

or falling,

just falling in general.

Just falling down.

You can't ask, get him.

All right, just falling down.

God, falling is so vague.

Or slime on biscuits.

Remember, it's not always

what he's afraid of.

It could creep him out, you can give him the willies.

Or it can scare him.

One's so vague and one so specific.

Are you talking about whisker biscuits or just

have you run into that much?

So slimey,

slimy, poppin' fresh or just falling is so vague, but um

points.

But I know

anyway, all right.

I'm gonna play it safe as well, you know, let's go two get him points.

Two get him points.

I'm gonna go with the slime on the biscuits.

I think there's a whole textured thing with get him here, and I'm gonna go slime with the biscuits.

You tell me if I'm right or wrong, get him.

Not the heights, it's the falling part.

Okay.

Give me an horse.

Let me in a horse.

I'm good.

Shake it off, buddy.

Shake it off.

Whoever made up the slime on a biscuit, so it was genius.

Good.

It's totally believable.

It's so ghetto.

Especially more believable than falling.

When you said it, Ghetto went like this.

Well,

he's doing some mind fuck with you right now.

I know.

Also, the fact that one of them is keys breaking off makes you think it's more likely to be slime on the biscuit.

But it went from, it's all over the the place right now.

No, there's no

goes back to the doors.

Chris Lagondo, right?

He's anyone's husband right now.

All right.

Clowns with white face makeup

or amputees with hooks.

All right.

Bethnomelian.

Bethamelion.

No.

Clowns away.

I mean, all clowns have, unless he's he's just flat-out astray clowns.

No, I'm like, it doesn't fucking matter how smart goes.

All clowns don't wear white makeup.

Remember what clown at Yorling to Bello Q?

Remember you're all up in his grill?

Yeah.

Remember you were blowing him?

Yeah, I know you're not.

He didn't wear a white makeup, did he?

No, not generally.

He had the round red circles on his cheeks.

Yeah.

All right, so

what's the score for us?

Still don't understand the shame.

Team Roy has five points.

Can't we agree never to talk about Bellow again?

All right,

I guess for two, get him points.

Playing it conservatively.

It's a good choice.

I'm going to say amputees with hooks.

Get him, Steve.

Dave, reveal your fear.

We had a horse owner and his wife had a freaking hook, and it just freaked out.

What is it?

Now it's the score now.

It is Team Q with eight, Team Bryant with seven.

I can see the attention.

I can see Sal.

He was really joyful, and that was the right answer.

Nothing on the line.

Nothing on the line, but I can see real joy right there.

Mike?

Here is my secret weapon.

Your dark horse.

That's it.

Your big poppy.

This is

a baseball.

I knew that.

I was driving down to Red Bank from Staten Island today, and in my head, I knew that this was going to be the guy.

Really?

Yeah.

I knew that chief was going to be the secret weapon.

I can't wait till he fucks up.

A million get him points.

Watch what's about to happen.

All right, Mike.

An insect landing in my mouth while I sleep.

A great white shark.

Oh, you fucked me on this one, man.

You got this.

You got this.

All right.

You.

How many points?

You fucking lunatic.

We're going to go three get him points.

Three get him points.

I have all the confidence in this one.

Because it can't be that I'm the only one that got it right on my own team.

I know, too.

It can't be just me that I'm so much better about myself right now.

Gidem, I'm going to say that you're afraid of insects landing in your mouth.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Reveal your fear.

I won a kite surfing trip because I was afraid of sharks.

He's surrounded by flies with bushes on top of it.

He's never going to see the ocean.

He's no ocean in his life.

I would have picked that too, buddy.

I would have picked that.

Okay, okay.

We'll get it back.

Oh, hell eat, bug.

That was a gimmick.

Frank number five.

Your secret weapon, dude.

What happened?

I would have said it when you said.

Yeah, I would have said it too.

That's why I.

I'm a very shark.

I can't hold it against him.

Frank number five.

Say, I'm afraid of both of those things.

All the way from Buffalo.

All right, it's like dolls' eyes.

Buffalo.

Central New York.

Central New York, not Buffalo?

No, no, okay.

That's Western.

All right.

Ooh.

Spider veins

or spiders.

You don't mean the veins in a spider.

You mean spider veins on a human.

Like on your legs, right?

Yes, spider veins or spiders.

Ooh.

I'm going to guess.

Points.

Points.

I'm just trying to think, you weren't afraid of insects before with your mouth, so I don't think you're afraid of anything of insects.

The logic frightened me again.

Very logical.

So again, that might be a downfall

because I need to think like

good luck.

Takes a lot from beer.

How much grain alcohol you got?

Punch himself in the face a couple of times.

I'm going to bet two points.

Two points.

Two get him points, and what are you going to, what's the answer?

And I'm going to think that it's spider veins.

Get him, Steve.

Dave, reveal your fear.

Just all arachnids in general.

Spider Scorpions Texas.

Oh, buddy.

There's no reading this.

There's no reading.

I'm telling you in LA.

That's what you think you know.

And I got a screen now.

What's the score?

Score is five all.

As it usually does.

It comes down to one man.

Sunday Jeff.

That's why

the experts were shaking their head in disbelief when that man was picked last.

In the NHL, at the All-Star Game, you get picked last, you get a car Sunday, Jeff.

Now you just got the weight of your shoulder of the world on your shoulder.

Is this the final question?

No, there's one more after this.

But also for our team, this is.

Oh, there's one more.

You went first, right?

Yeah.

So this one, and then they go, and then that would be the end of this round.

So it's the last question of this round.

It's the last question of this round.

Right.

I ain't got many guests on myself.

I just want to know the experts you keep referring to.

Who is this paddle?

It's a voices and watches.

I held my own draft draft last night.

I had it on my wall, all figured out who would go, and Sunday Jeff definitely wasn't the last pick.

Drawing on it with Magic Margaret.

But he's like, What the fuck are you doing?

All right.

All right.

Everybody, get ready for greatness.

Go ahead.

That Hollywood will reboot the Harry Potter franchise.

That's a fear.

Okay.

Or a pattern of symmetrical holes.

Wow.

I know which one I would pick.

What was it again?

Sorry?

That Hollywood will reboot the Harry Potter franchise or a pattern of symmetrical holes.

All tied up at five.

We're going to go big here someday, Jeff.

I'll go with two get him points.

Two get em points.

Two get him coins.

Two get em dollars.

No, it's no dollars.

There's no money involved in this competition.

Certainly not before this episode is released.

I'm going to go with

symmetrical holes.

All right.

For two points.

For two points.

What's your fear, Getham?

Tritophobia, otherwise known as fear of symmetrical holes.

There we go.

That's a thing.

Woo!

Yeah.

MVP.

Yes, it is.

Rob Bruce.

All right.

Sorry.

Yeah, not Bruce.

Things like beehives.

So would symmetrical holes be two?

No, it's like something like a beehive.

Oh, okay.

It has to be more than two.

It's where spiders live.

Okay.

All right.

Rob Bruce.

He's probably the closest to thinking, like, get him at anybody in the state.

I would agree with that.

Before he goes, I have a question.

Yes.

You bet two coins, right?

So it's 7.5.

7.5.

Do these coins get erased and restart with the next thing, or is this the coin that you're building?

We're going through the whole game.

We're building this to the end.

That's why at the end, if someone's really far down, a team's really down in the dumps, they can bet like big, big amounts to try to get back up.

Big, big money coins, guys.

All right.

Last one to Robert.

You want to get closer to the mic, Robert?

Rob is a wild card.

Going blind or people with no eyebrows.

Come on, no whammies.

We're going to go three.

Three.

Three points.

Three would put us in the lead by one.

People with no eyebrows always got the one.

Going blind.

Going blind.

It's funny.

I knew a girl with no eyebrows.

Were you scared of her?

Yeah, I'd rather have no eyebrows.

That's why she went out with Rob.

This is crazy.

Come on,

we need an answer.

Spit it out.

I literally gotta go with going blind.

Going blind.

Get him.

Reveal your fear.

I mean, I wouldn't be able to look at anything like my Zippos or anything again.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Inside the mouth of Robbers.

All right.

All right.

So we have Team Bride with eight,

Team Q with seven.

Yeah, he scolded me.

All right.

Just think.

of it.

He missed most

about seeing.

Just want to make that note.

Not family.

Not the rolling plateau.

Not the naked form of woman.

I love that.

Wow.

Okay.

Still a very close game.

This round is Q, you are not going to be able to play in this round because this game is called Get Him to Know Q, Get Him to Know All About Q.

I mean, so your team, mate,

your team is without their captain right now for this round, unfortunately.

But is he still gonna,

can I call in an alternate for me?

Call in an alternate?

If I can't play, but they have their whole full team, can I you?

Yes, you can, yeah, well, yeah, you can, well, you could, you're, you could pick who gets to go twice.

Oh, I can't call in like a utility player?

Like who?

Because, I mean, if she doesn't have to talk, I can get Stacey Patella in here.

She'll write her answer down.

Well, I'll let Giddam.

Giddam, would you allow that?

Write her answer down.

That'd be interesting, Giddam.

I'll allow it.

Ooh, we'll allow it.

All right.

Stay safe.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, don't talk.

She'll just write it down.

She'll write it down.

She'll write the answer down.

Okay, Bri, you're going to be going first on this one.

You can text it to me, and I'll show it to Giddam.

You guys ready?

The last time you felt ashamed to be an America, American, the last time you felt ashamed to be an American was when, okay, also,

there's

one false answer.

There's Q's answer, there's Giddam's answer, and then there's one made up.

So you have three answers.

You've got to match all three properly to get the points.

Okay, got it.

Sorry, I didn't give you that one.

I didn't.

So it's like one true three in a way.

Got it.

Yeah.

Did you answer this?

Giddam's answer.

There's three options, and you got to match them, all three of them correctly.

Got it.

Then we got still the points.

This one, no, each correct answer is worth two Giddam points.

We're not betting on this particular one.

Okay.

The last time you felt ashamed to be an American was when

O.J.

was found innocent.

When after weighing all the evidence and realizing we never landed on the moon,

I've never been ashamed to be an American.

Wow.

So, which one is Q's answer?

Which one is Giddam's answer?

And which one is the fake answer?

Okay, so we got O.J.

You got O.J.

He was ashamed when O.J.

was found innocent.

That sounds like a Staten Island answer.

There's also

landing on the moon.

He found that he found

the evidence and came to the definitive conclusion

that he'd been lied to his whole life about Neil Armstrong.

Or he's never felt ashamed of the red, white, and blue.

So there's no partial points, right?

You have to get all three.

You have to get all three properly.

There's no, to get the two points.

Are we cycling through like the last round, or is he just answering and we're conferring with him?

Yo, you have to give me an answer.

Which one was Q's?

Which one was Giddam's?

No.

If you get the Q and the Giddam one right, obviously you'll get the gibberish one right.

No, but then are you going to have one for each of us?

Yes.

Each person gets a question.

Okay.

OJ,

Moon,

never.

I'm going to give

I'm going to assign the Moon one to Q.

Okay.

Never ashamed to be an American to

no, you know what?

I'm going to back up.

Moon one's going to get them.

Okay.

Never ashamed to be an American to Q.

OJ is the gibberish one.

Gibraltarish one.

Q reveal your answer.

Never ashamed to get you.

Yeah.

I was hoping you did answer.

Never.

Yeah, I did.

Giddam reveal your answer?

Damn, OJ.

Oh!

And I'm sorry, I also forgot to tell the ladies that this game is intended to just hammer home that you're marrying Gidham, not Q.

All right, so this question is going to be for your stand-in.

Yes.

How do we know you didn't go over these questions with her, though?

I didn't.

I'm an honest guy.

Okay.

I didn't, nor did I know that she would be playing.

That's true.

How do you know I didn't go over the answers with her?

There you go.

That's an excellent point as well.

If you were to go to heaven, what's the one thing you hope is there?

Freedom of expression,

my grandparents,

or my pets?

I got this already.

All right.

We're vamping, we're vamping.

This is Stacey Patella answer.

She's texting me.

It's worth a crucial two points here.

If

either of them get to heaven, unlikely, but we'll play along with that.

What do they hope is there?

Freedom of expression?

I mean, she could probably just mouse.

My grandparents

or my pets.

I don't know about freedom of expression here.

I hope sure hope it's in heaven.

Oh, what's that?

Some sort of.

Happy in America.

Giddam, you're going to read them out?

Yes.

Okay.

I am the voice of Stacy Patella.

Q says grandparents.

Giddam says pets.

The made-up one is freedom.

Q, you want to reveal your answer?

When I get to heaven, I do hope my grandparents are in there.

Oh, I thought you were going to say pets.

Well,

you're in a run.

It's possibly to get the two points if Giddam has said pets, right?

Is that what it said?

Was that what she said?

I can't remember.

So if you said pets, she's got the two points for the team.

I hope all my dogs and cats are there.

Yeah!

All right.

Points.

I would have pegged Q for pets as well.

I was going to say freedom of speech is nobody's.

Remember his best day ever, though?

It was all about his grandparents.

Why would there not be freedom of speech in heaven?

Because you don't know.

I mean, you might have to fall in line.

You may have to say, there's no freedom of speech in America.

Freedom of expression, not speech of expression.

You may just have to praise him.

But it's hell, but it's heaven.

They're going to get there and immediately start.

All right, Sal, you're up.

What are we up?

What are we at once?

We have

Team Bry with eight and Team Q at nine.

They're feeling fine.

We've got to pull ahead by a wider margin.

Okay, go ahead.

I guess we have to come from behind you.

Then pull ahead by Sal.

Yeah.

If you could murder any celebrity and get away with it,

it would be who?

Dakota Fanning?

Wow.

What?

Jessica Simpson.

I can't honestly think of anyone I would ever murder.

Oh my God.

First of all, I haven't, my brain has not thought of Dakota Fanning in 15 years.

Why would anybody want to kill that girl?

She was a child.

Like, I don't think of Dakota Fanning as an adult that she now is.

When you say you want to murder Dakota Fanning, I think you want to murder a child.

Like one of the world's Dakota Fannings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there's no way someone could have said Dakota Fanny because that just means that you want to murder a kid.

She's 22 years old.

Now, but I don't think of a now.

What's the last thing she's been?

I will say this.

I didn't ask that question 15 years ago.

I asked it probably two weeks ago.

Oh.

She was recently in the Twilight Saga, Sal.

So that was a couple of years ago.

All right.

So which one is Q?

Okay.

Well, Q, Q,

that means he said, that means he's going to say, I've never been ashamed and I never want to kill anybody.

But Q wants to kill people all the time.

But Q doesn't want to kill to go to Fanning.

I know you well enough, and we've never talked Jessica Simpson.

We've never talked Fanning or Simpson at all.

I've never heard him even say he was perturbed by either of them.

For him to go on a limb and want to end their lives, I think, is a stretch.

I feel like you want to kill people all the time, but I'm going to go with Q says I can't think of anybody I want to kill.

Like, if you accept James Murray.

All right, so you're locked in, you're locked in on Q is

never.

I don't want to kill anybody.

So, all-important get him answers.

Were these answered honestly?

They were answered honestly.

Okay, it wasn't just like, fuck it, I'll just

say, answer it on.

So, I'm going to say Q nobody.

And since Dakota Fanning

in our mind's eye is a child, I'm going to think that Gidem has some aversion to Jessica Simpson.

Maybe, like, she scorned him in some way.

I don't know her once.

Yeah.

Exactly.

So you're locked in on Q never doesn't want to kill anybody, and Giddam wants to kill Jessica Simpson, and the gibberish one is Dakota Fanny.

That's correct.

That's what I'm going.

Q, would you reveal your answer?

You know me well, buddy.

I never want to murder anybody.

That is correct.

Jim, Steve, Dave, you can reveal your answer with an explanation.

She ruins all her damn movies with, I'm a big girl doing big girl things and screaming like a lord of the world.

all she did was scream so who is it Dakota Fanny was

also you just you just admitted that her child acting is what annoyed you so you want to murder a child can I tell you this Sal when I asked that question it literally took three seconds for an answer

There was no hesitation.

She was waiting for someone to ask her that question all his life.

And there's seven billion people on earth.

No, sorry.

celebrity oh okay but i don't know

you don't want to want to even normally call her so

so you're now looking in my eyes and i'm like

wow so you just want to kill her as a kid like in a world where courtney stodden is living right he doesn't want to kill her he wants to kill any kardashi like a very talented child actor who was directed to say what she said in the film he wants to murder again like i'm a big girl

there was she was in this movie uh called dreamer and like she's like i'm gonna try to make coffee And all of a sudden, I messed up, and I got coffee everywhere, and then she tries to drink it, and she's like, Ew, it's disgusting.

You're so stupid.

Clearly, you have put thought into this.

Seriously, look at that face, girls, because that's going to be on top of you.

At least one of you.

That's going to be chasing you through a whole lot of stuff.

Yeah.

Don't dress like Dakota fanning for holidays.

All right.

You look like a carnival balker

who lost his job and never changed out of his clothes ever again.

Those were the glory days.

Troy is up.

All right.

Wow.

What is the sexiest inanimate object you can think of?

Wow.

Dakota Phoenix corpse.

I'm a big girl.

Not anymore.

I made coffee.

Now I'm dead.

Wow.

The sexiest inanimate object child

is good.

A birdhouse.

A mannequin.

Or a can of shaving cream.

Holy shit.

The sexiest inanimate.

The sexiest inanimate.

Like, you look at it and you're like, that's sexy.

Yeah.

A birdhouse.

Birdhouse?

A mannequin.

Well, birdhouse has that hole, it has that little stick that's there.

Right.

Both sexes are representative of that birdhouse.

That's definitely good.

A can of shaving cream

and a mannequin.

No matter what answers come through here, we're all losers.

Q's mannequin because they have perfect bodies and don't talk.

And Giddum's birdhouse because

fucking Gidham.

I don't know.

Q?

Sal, do you remember outside the old North-South offices those gene sands?

Yeah, you touch those fake asses every day.

Every day we would walk by these mannequins with these beautiful fake asses and just dream of them coming alive.

So I am the mannequin.

All right, so I thought I would peg you for that too.

Yeah, yeah.

So if you get this, if Giddam's answer is a birdhouse, you're getting two points.

He said, like, Q says it as if it's like something to be proud of or

at least it's not a birdhouse or a can.

It's shaped like a human.

You know what I'm saying?

He's fist fucked it up.

Fuck that manicure.

Giddam's like, every day I woke by a CVS on the cue.

There's a bottle of shaving cream.

Fucking barbersol is my brain.

Q's into Barbie's into barbersol.

Gidum?

Birdhouses aren't damn sexy.

Yeah!

Troy!

That is insane, dance.

All right.

Why?

Why?

They flew into the turkey.

That's it.

That's it specifically.

She's loaded with sexual ingredients.

Oh my god.

Beautifully crafted, but sexy is different than that.

It can be in a camping.

You think that a birdhouse has sex appeal?

It can.

I'm not talking about a birdhouse that isn't hot.

hot.

You know, it's hauling.

What about the mother of all birdhouses, the chicken coop?

She just fell into a chair, she was so wet.

She just ate a few eggs herself, Geoffrey.

Who's up?

Who's the third pick?

Chris LaDondo.

The most unusual thing

that has aroused you

a dirty limerick,

sweat socks,

or a mannequin

to be completely truthful.

Okay, so Quinn and the mannequin.

The sad part is it's a different different mannequin I'm thinking about.

So somewhere out there, there are two mannequins that really did a lot of mannequins at the same time.

Okay, I'm going to say...

You got the dirty limerick or you got sweat socks?

The dirty limerick, because it's fucking his Zaro world, is get him.

Two points.

And the sweat socks is bullshit.

Sweat.

Two points on the line.

Hopefully.

Reveal the most unusual thing that has aroused you.

Oh, me?

Yes.

Yeah, mine is a mannequin.

Like, everyone should have mannequinnecks.

No, across the street from Broadway, remember they had those mannequins in the full body, like cat suits with the holes there.

I was like, oh man, I'd take a run at that.

You got hit by a gypsy cat running across the street.

Socks are fucking amazing because they just

shape of the leg.

They catch you, discharge.

That is a fetish.

I changed at the last segment, but with you know, like, not even

dirty sweat socks.

I didn't say dirty red stripes.

Okay, I interrupted.

See, I interpreted that as sweaty socks.

It wasn't.

It was just sweat socks.

Yeah, I would change it.

I would change it.

No, it wouldn't.

I interpreted it as a sweat.

Did you say sweat socks or sweaty socks?

Sweats.

You often pay me good.

I thought it was sweaty socks.

You could have asked for clarification.

Well, whatever.

It's Tesdy Town.

Everything's fucked up.

That's always your answer when you fuck up.

You blame TSD Town.

Whatever.

Look at him.

Look at him.

Thanks.

I don't give a shit.

So, since Odo is skulking,

Team Bry has eight points, Team Q, 11.

Get him.

I've known you for many years, and during that time, I've come to see you as family.

You're just like a member of my real family, in the sense that you don't follow me on Twitter, takes you forever to return any of my text,

I see you only once a year, but somehow end up having to spend money on a gift for you.

Well, now that you're married, your wife is a part of my family, and I look forward to you and your bride joining my family this year for Thanksgiving dinner,

even though I probably won't be there.

So, everyone, join me in raising a glass or a bottle in wishing Mr.

and Mrs.

Gidham a long and happy marriage.

Good luck.

I got some copy here, Walt, hot off the wire.

Blue Juice would like to congratulate Tell him Steve Dave on their 300th episode and would like to raise a toast to get him Steve Dave on finding the love of his life and finally settling down and getting married.

Now if

Blue Juice were decent, they would end it right there, but they're insisting on a fucking plug, right?

They can't just be like, oh, good on you guys, congratulations.

Oh, by the way, Blue Juice is the home of the Accelerators and Bonnie and Aether and Empire.

Yep.

Guess what they want?

They want likes.

Go to facebook.com, BlueJuice Comics, and please send some likes their way.

These are grown men.

These are men with families.

And they're like, do you think you can get us some likes?

Likes must be pretty important, though, I guess.

For some reason, they must need them.

Maybe,

to show the show off their likes, maybe they get something in return.

Oh, ego boost?

I think it may be more substantial than ego boost.

Maybe more something, it may be more

to steal the phrase juice, maybe more juice.

There's something about those likes that they're

cashing in on likes.

But I mean, wouldn't it be amazing if we were to get everybody listening to this podcast to go and like it?

that would be amazing.

I would love for them to just see the power

that the ant

can wield on demand.

Not our demand, but a plea.

We're begging you, please.

Please like Blue Juice.

I mean, I would love for them

to just be

speechless when they go look at their Facebook account and they see the amount.

I mean,

it would be nice if we can get Facebook shut down because it was too much.

Right.

It overloaded their servers.

Yeah.

And Zuckerberg's like, what are we doing?

He's running around his living room.

What's going on?

But I would love, you know, come on, man, 300-plus episodes free of entertainment.

And all we want is for you to go click a like button for Blue Juice.

Yeah, we should probably ask for something for ourselves, not for these douchebags.

But Facebook.com, BlueJuice Comics, yeah.

And

I don't have Facebook.

I know you don't, and I don't know how you like something.

But I guess if you just go to their page and you like it, then that's fucking magic.

I would love to know how many likes they got right now.

Is nobody from Blue Juice is nobody from Blue Juices here right now?

We'll check before this episode drops, and then we'll check back in and see how many people liked them.

Yeah, I mean, if you can find the time, you know, if you're happy with episode 300 and you feel like,

you know, you got something and all we're asking for is a like,

I mean, how can you not do it?

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

All right, Mink Mink Chen.

Okay.

You could really bury them right now.

All right, let's do it.

You look like

someone just found you in the Titanic.

I was about to say, he looks like Mr.

Monopoly if he was a floater.

Freaking Uncle Pennybags over here.

End of the season for floaters?

Floaters.

You have died, and God says you must go back to Earth, but you must go back.

It's a different ethnicity.

Different standard diversity.

Okay.

Which race do you choose?

Asian?

Black?

Or mulatto?

At least we're being in PC.

Asian, black, or Oreo?

Wow.

Asian, black, or mud bone.

What are we doing?

What are we doing here?

They could have used octoroon or quadroon.

I don't think think Malana.

Anyway,

what was the very end of that?

I felt like it was a piece of the end of that question that was like,

so you have to understand diversity?

Yes.

So it's not just come back what you want to be.

The intent is you get to pick one that you think will make you understand diversity better.

Yes.

Okay.

Wow.

There's a soul to that question.

Got it.

All right.

I'm going to throw out Asian as a bullshit one.

Nobody wants to be Asian.

No one wants to be Asian.

I know how they feel.

So

even the Ocean fell.

It comes down to black or mixed.

Is mulatto even PC?

Yeah, so

I'm going to go with Q.

We'll come back as a black person.

Likes the Wu-Tang.

It's my only reason.

And I'm going to go with mixed, best of both worlds, or the use of the word mulatto

with Getem Steve Dave.

That's my answer.

Q?

Because he's so accustomed to being.

Not only did I say black, but I used the Wu-Tang as my reason.

Yeah!

All right.

Yes.

Steve, Dave, if you said mulatto,

they're getting two points.

They're sometimes despised by both races, so mulatto.

Yeah!

And clarification.

Look at this, Steve.

Look it up.

Because I almost didn't allow that answer because I thought it was on PC.

I looked it up.

It's not an unPC phrase.

You can look it up right now.

Go ahead.

Look it up.

Look up the word mulatto.

I can still drop the animals.

It's the first thing that comes up.

Somebody asks, is mulatto

politically incorrect?

It's not.

Same as an answer.

Experts.

Trump.

President Trump.

Saint the system.

And just thought you a mulatto in every transaction.

Look it up.

I guarantee it's not.

Yeah, but that could be a racist.

I just was like, nah, answer.

Nah, it's cool.

Was I looking at Wikipedia?

It's the first thing that type in what is mulatto a politically incorrect term.

Those are user-answered, though.

So it's like.

Mulatto racial.

Well, this is from 2010 back in the old days.

I wouldn't have allowed it, guys.

Mulatto.

I would have stricken that answer from the game.

No hot button topic.

It's fall out of favor for general use in the United States and is considered offensive by some.

Yeah, but everything's considered offensive by some.

So they got the points, right?

We got the points.

Yes.

You're

tiling on.

What are we at?

13 to 8.

All right, who's up now?

I feel like we should be up longer.

Right.

I can't wait to see the tweets where like, are you guys fucking idiots?

You think Mulatto is exceptional.

Right?

I can't wait to see it.

What don't you wash as often as you should?

My truck,

my sheets.

My internet browser.

Oh, my God.

Is it possible to get Gidem is all three?

Well, first of all, does he drive a truck?

He does drive a truck, and I've seen pictures of it, so it makes me believe that you never have to do it.

Well, the Wrangler can be the truck, not the money the water.

Yeah, but your Wrangler is new.

I mean,

you wouldn't call it that.

The F-Series.

Yeah, but he wouldn't call it it.

Yeah, you wouldn't call it.

And I think when a car is newer, you're going to be more apt to keep it clean.

So I'm going to say that

not washing the truck is get them.

Okay.

And then, what were the other two?

The cleaning.

My internet browser and my sheets.

I'm going to say that Q is the sheets.

Q, reveal your answer.

Internet browser.

Woo!

Yes.

But reveal your answer because it's going to trump that one.

My sheets, it's been about a year.

Oh,

shit.

Ladies, lady!

What a prize, huh?

Did you get them all wrong?

The cake lady is fucking horrified.

Your chickens sleep in clean.

Are they still over there?

And they sleep in their own shit covered nests.

He shovels horse shit for a living.

And doesn't change his sheets.

That's insane.

I'm fucking thinking.

He comes out of bed thinking about it.

I'm too tired.

As soon as I drag myself off to bed, I'll change them tomorrow, and I just never get around to it tomorrow.

Cow spots.

Oh, you need a wife.

Mike.

Mike C.

You think?

That's disgusting.

Of course, it's get him.

Mike Zapson.

Yes, sir.

Finally, something that made one of the potential brides speak up.

I know.

What part of the body turned you on the most?

Jeez.

Cabs.

The filtrum.

What?

Isn't that just that?

Yeah, it's the filtrums right here.

Or the dairy air.

All right, Q's Derrier.

But But you, you fucking freak.

No, it's just so close together.

Yeah, you know what?

Let me try now.

Yeah, you know what?

You're a calves kind of guy, aren't you?

Yeah, I think the filtrum's.

Again, not surprising, you fucking freak.

So you're going with

Q with the Dairy Air,

and I'm going you with.

No, the Filtrum.

You're the Philtrum.

And the Calves is bullcrap.

Q?

Love a good ass.

Love a good ass.

Two points.

If Gidham says

Filtrum.

Giddam?

The socks make the calves just so smart.

You fucking freak.

Who's going to say Filtrum, though?

It's Filtrum.

Look at him.

Who say it?

It's a little different on the arms.

All right.

Robert, last question.

I know.

You are Noah.

And you are allowed to kick one species of animal off the ark.

Boys.

Which one?

Fleas.

Midges.

With full legs.

Tarantulas.

You got to shut your mouth on this question.

Or mosquitoes.

Tarantulas, fleas, and mosquitoes are up.

Get him steadily tarantulas since he's arachnophobic.

Okay.

What's Q?

Fleas or mosquitoes?

You really can't kick a mosquito off because it flies.

You know, but if it's not making sense of it.

Do not dare apply logic.

I'm going to go with mosquitoes for Q.

Q?

The one animal I can't stand is the tarantula.

I cannot stand it.

I see no reason for it.

It creeps me out.

I don't even like looking at them.

Tarantulas.

What was yours, Giddam?

Tarantulas actually serve a purpose, but mosquitoes serve no purpose whatsoever.

I'm going to have in the herds with Zika if I've been.

All right.

So that was it.

That's that.

On that game is over.

My tarantula died, by the way.

Or no, Sunday Jeff.

You didn't get to go, right?

All right.

Sunday Jeff's up.

What does the world need now more than ever?

Common sense?

A plague?

Or a social media EMP?

EMP?

Electromagnetic pulse.

Social media electromagnetic pulse.

Yeah, that would knock out social media so nobody could go online and talk anywhere.

Hmm, that's a tough one.

I don't know if Q would want a plague.

You look like you've fallen on hard times ever since you're a flea circus fan.

Someone kicked him off the arch.

You look like Ebenezer Screw just told you no more coal on the fire.

What do we got?

What do we got, Jeff?

The media one, I'm going to go with Q.

Who?

Q.

The media one.

The EMP.

I would go with Q.

All right.

And what's Giddam's answer?

What was the other two?

A plague

or

common sense.

That targets Dakota fanning.

What the world needs now?

A plague?

A plague.

Yeah.

You know, thin it out.

Yeah, okay.

I'm going to say common sense.

Say common sense for Giddam.

Giddam.

Q, reveal your answer.

I think the world needs an EMP to social media.

Oh,

wipe it out.

Enough nonsense.

It was life that you came up with that answer.

No.

No.

That was me.

So

two points for Team Q.

Yeah, if Giddem

wanted,

what'd you say?

Common sense.

Common sense.

All right, Giddam.

We know where your head's at.

What do we need?

The world does need more common sense.

All right.

This is a fucking dream team.

I gotta win.

You know what the last person is?

Fucking clean up.

The trash talking about

series MVP over here.

I told you, there's no way he should be a pickle.

Lot of game left, Sunday chat.

A lot of trophies back there.

Some of them are rides.

We are getting now.

Give us a tally because we're getting into the the game of the game of the night, I think.

This is the one I most anticipated coming up next.

Team Bry has consistently had eight points, while Team Q has 15.

Dang.

So after two rounds, you've lost two points.

You've gained nothing.

You've lost ground.

I like how when I pick Seller, you're like, you're a fucking idiot.

No way could.

These are all best guesses.

Like, you don't have to know this fucking thing.

Oh, wow.

But it's better if you do, though.

We're at the point of the game.

Are we at the point of the game where the losers start making excuses already?

I thought that was last round when I heard Chris start immediately.

We're going to come back.

All right, get your box.

I'm just trying to get a box.

What does that mean?

Where's Brett Valcho's head?

What's that name?

Get over your box.

Put some bread in your box.

You want a skinner box?

Hurry up.

Put on this birdhouse outfit, box.

What am I looking for?

Art the bird in here.

Somebody pushing shit.

Oh my god.

Is that guy still doing the weekly?

Tell him Steve Dave.

Adam.

Art.

Oh, Chastaine.

Chastain.

I haven't seen one in a while, but Art with

a bird feeder over at the end.

I think it's right there.

Get him fucking feeding her with a massive erection.

This is broken.

This is the one I was proud of the most when we were compiling the games.

I think this one has potential cue.

This one, I want you to take to your celebrity friends and

get this on Game Show Network.

You don't need that.

Well, go pull it out, Gabriel.

This one's called Let's Get Him On.

I'm already working on the future.

Is all the players ready to hear the rules?

This game consists of three timed rounds as both teams will send one player to role play and add Lib as Gidem's lover, as Brian and Q will role play as Giddem.

Okay.

The scene, we are eavesdropping on the couple as they indulge in some steamy, lovey-dovey pillow talk

while lying in bed.

What?

Now wait, there's rules.

There's things you got to hit.

There's targets.

Go ahead, Sal.

I'm a little lost on it, so they're playing Getem.

They will role play as Giddem constantly because I felt only they knew Gidem's

points that they should be hitting.

Then they're going to choose someone else.

They're going to pick one player from each of their team

for three rounds, and they're only going to be able to pick three of you guys

to role play as their lover.

As not the girls, but just any lover.

No, yeah, as a former lover.

Okay.

So what do you think?

And what is the goal?

What is the goal?

I'm going to tell you.

Okay I'm gonna tell you right now.

It's easy for you.

You're already deceased if you're a former lover.

The object in said pillow talk game with Giddam is to say what they think would best arouse and bring the real Giddam who will be listening to a simulated climax in the quickest time possible.

The real Giddam will be using sound effects to alert our role-playing couples when they have reached three critical moments in the pillow talk.

Critical moment one, Giddem will have a bell he will ring if he approves of the topics and direction of the pillow talk.

Giddam?

Critical moment two, Giddam will have a slide whistle.

I feel like I'm in an insane

God.

Giddam will have a slide whistle to represent when a team has him at his most aroused state.

Critical moment three, Giddam will have an air horn that he will press to represent when a team has made him, but he can't take it anymore.

Did you pick the three titles?

I love it.

The clock will randomly stop within a round as a TSD spice card will be drawn in Reddit that will inject some old-school TSD romance into the conversation that players must incorporate.

Clock will start again after the card is read.

Giddam also has a special sound effect that he will use.

If he feels the person role-playing as his lover just isn't getting the job done, we call this sound kick it to the curb.

Then

you must replace the lover with another player.

Oh, wow.

Okay, so you have a certain amount of time to get to the horn.

Well,

after each team sends

three rounds,

once you get all those sound effects in,

the clock stops, and we will add the three times.

And then divide them by three.

And whoever gets the lowest, whoever gets the lowest score,

will get 15 get him points.

Oh,

what are the cards that have to do with it again?

Those are the spice cards that he will play.

He will,

when does the TST spice card come in?

That's after the horn, those come.

Those are just random.

Get him at any point, can just be like, you know what, I want to spice it up.

And he will read aloud

what has to be

changed in.

That becomes the new reality of the role for us.

Yes.

Got it.

Okay, sweet.

He will get him.

You just, when you want to do a a spice card, they're just basically stop down, it's time for some spice.

Wait, go ahead, go ahead, Rob.

So, so somebody's got to act as

what it's old eight.

You're just in, you're in, just here's the scenario: you're face to you're laying down, you're it, you're face to face with him, and you're just having some lovey-dovey pillow talk to get him to get him, you know, gotcha hot.

Three, four hours of that.

All right.

Who's going?

Q, you'll be going first.

Oh, yeah.

You have last points.

I think.

The game masters fucking being questioned.

All right.

Well, you could appeal to get him if you want.

Who should go first?

I got the fucking MVP radio, man.

Who are you picking as your first lover?

I got to go with Sunday Jeff, bro.

This guy's been tearing it up.

From last pick to first lover.

How about that?

That's a Cinderella story.

That's Walt Disney all over that.

I couldn't pick Stacey Patella for this one.

No, I gotta go with Sunday.

So, do you have your timer ready to go?

I believe so, yes.

Do you have all your sound effects ready as you hear things that are going on?

I believe so, yes.

All right.

I just start.

What?

I just start.

Well, Giddam will tell you when to start when the clock starts.

I'm Giddum.

You're the lover.

You're the lover.

We assume it's a female?

Or you.

Possibly say.

We'll figure it out, buddy.

We'll figure it out.

Don't get shy on me.

This is why Brian Q are get him because

they're going to have to drive this train.

I'm talking to you.

All right.

Whenever you say go, get them.

Start.

Hey, baby, put on these sweat socks for me.

Hold on.

I'm doing it right now.

Get them all the way up to the calf.

Oh, my God.

Do me a a favor.

Just walk around the room for me a little bit.

Let me see those calves.

He's getting

chicken out.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, the bail has wrong.

Oh, God.

Do me a favor.

Kill that spider on the wall over there.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, God.

I like my fingers in there.

Yeah.

Oh, baby.

Look, I brought you some chicken wings.

I have them made under the bed here.

Oh, they were fried twice.

Did you hang them from the bird house?

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Lay all my sheets.

I have them specially printed.

That is Dakota Fennex Corpse.

Uh-oh.

Spice card, or are they kicking it to the curb?

I'm gonna go Spice Card.

Pick a card, Sunday, Jeff.

Yeah.

Let Giddam read it.

Person role-playing as Giddam asks his partner of the possibility of any Mother X type action.

Oh, shit.

Mother X.

Didn't you just fuck her like while the daughter was gone?

We're there.

All right, I got it.

All right.

All right, I got it.

Start the clock again.

Okay.

Okay.

Go.

All right.

Oh, listen.

So listen, I'm glad you're into everything so far.

You know, is your mother still, you still live with your mother?

Yes, I do.

Because the last time I saw her, she was a stripper down on

that strip club in 36.

She was.

But she's still, is she into this?

She think she'll come down.

She likes your dirty sheets.

She likes my dirty sheets?

I don't wash these things.

I know.

Yeah,

at least a year.

You see you and your mom rolling around on these sheets, huh?

Just get it on, baby.

Oh, my God.

Call right now.

Yeah.

Here's my 1986 Samsung flip phone.

Do me a favor.

And call my mom.

Call your mom, yeah?

It's that one.

It's that one.

Oh, yeah.

Good.

You got to hit that three buttons broken.

So you got to call moms.

There we go.

That was awesome.

What was the time on that?

I don't know what happened.

One minute, 31 seconds.

All right.

The flick of the records made you ejaculate?

So, wait, what's I don't understand?

How do you win?

So, how do you win?

The longer it goes?

No, you want to do it the shorter it goes.

So, you want to make sure you're getting on, you're hitting all the things that you think may turn him on.

What a fucking misplay.

He just named every single thing that we talked about.

I gave you the opportunity to go first, and you fucking mocked me.

You laughed in my face.

It was English.

I understood it as Sunday Jeff, as the former lover, was supposed to be turning on Q, who was Getham.

But Q as Gethem did all the work then.

We're supposed to turn on Giddem.

Sometimes it's

sometimes it's a one-way street.

He's just judging the scene of what's getting him turned on.

Giddam, yeah.

Giddam's just hearing it.

Got it.

So the goal was not for him to arouse his cat.

No, it's just the conversation.

I just want everybody, I want to be here.

And Giddam's peeking from the closet.

Yes.

So you're looking to beat a minute 31, or, you know, but if you don't, there's still hope for the next round.

All right.

Brian, who's going to be your lover in this round?

I'll take Sal is a lover.

This is where strength is going to come in.

Whenever you want to start the clock and announce it, get him.

Everything you just learned about Gethem was said already.

Ready?

Sure.

Alright, let's get them on.

Hey, honey,

I have a surprise for you.

I changed all the locks to smart locks.

So, no more broken keys?

We never have to use a key again.

Everything's controlled from our smartphone.

Even the door to the mugroom?

Yes, even the door to the mugroom.

Critical point one has been reached.

Hey, did I ever tell you that I have a falcon as as a pet?

Oh, the size of that birdhouse must be insane.

It's right out back.

Really?

Yeah, I'd love for you to.

Right, stop.

You need to say that.

Ice clearing.

The giant birdhouse wasn't doing it for me.

Person role-playing as giddy has to, in the most tasteful and classy manner, inquire about stooling possibility.

Oh,

shit.

Stoolin'.

Stoolin.

What's that?

Well, you can't let me.

And that A-Rebbe,

classy.

Classy, huh?

Brian Johnson is known about his classy.

He's going to be you.

Ready to start the clock?

All right.

Let's start now.

So, in my house, the mud room has a totally different

bend to it, if you want to say that.

Oh, Dutel, Dutel.

Have you ever dabbled in, you know, taking a trip down to Browntown?

Twice today.

That's all.

Critical point, too.

Hey, I'd be headed to Dakota Spanny.

You want a skull fucker?

What was the time?

What was time five?

Oh, in the lead with that one.

I was saving that one all last.

I knew it had in the pocket all along.

All right.

Hi, this is Sunday Jeff.

And I'm here for my toast to Giddem Steve Dave.

When I first met Giddem, I said to myself, this is the goofiest bastard I have ever met.

And now, after many years later, I have come to realize that he still is the goofiest bastard I have ever met.

As goofy as he may seem, I now call him friend.

But today, Giddam has found his lifelong soulmate, one which he can spend intimate nights with and have children with to pass on his thoroughbred genes for generations to come.

And to that I congratulate him, as he now has a way to get the rest of his teeth knocked out, as only true love could have it.

So I raise my glass and I toast to you to

mister and misses Giddem Steve Dave.

To mister and misses Giddem Steve Dave.

Dear God in heaven, how the hell did this happen?

I am truly

disgusted with

Giddam's lack of, I don't know, what would you call it?

Self-esteem.

And this poor girl who was duped into a life of servitude to a man who sleeps on sheets that he hasn't changed in a year.

Just remember that you will literally be sleeping with everyone that Giddam has ever slept with, which admittedly is probably not a large number.

I would wish you happiness.

You won't find it.

It comes from within, and

Giddam has none.

And also, just remember one other thing, young lady.

By marrying Giddam, you are no longer eligible to testify against him in a court of law.

So

cheers to you both, you creepy bastards.

Hey, Giddam, it's Jay Sarge.

I just wanted to wish you the very best on this your wedding day,

and

I want to do it the only way I know how.

What the hell, guys?

This is why we have the demon portal in the living room.

So you don't come in here and bust up my shit while I'm recording.

What's so important that you have to come in and...

What's going on?

That's really why you appeared in my studio to just, like, give me shit about the song I'm recording on This the Day of Giddam's wedding?

What is uh what is it you re what what what do you need?

Yeah.

Alright, if it's just you guys come to say something like whoa whoa whoa in your demon voices I I mean I think everybody's probably expecting that.

That's not really a busting into the studio kind of situation.

What's the message?

But remember, for eternity,

kids will be watching you.

Alright, well, this is why I drink.

So

I'm getting out of here.

I guess I'll see you guys in hell.

Go clean your room.

Round two, who's your lover, Q?

Gotta go with Troy.

I gotta go with Troy.

I gotta go with Troy.

He's gotta.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You know why?

Can I explain why?

I want the rest of my team to understand why I went with Troy.

Okay.

Because he has been exposed as an officer of law to the sickest, most depraved elements of society.

And I feel like

he can come back with some good stuff

and get himself.

Rob Rustin, why did you applaud that Troy saw

the sickest of man's depression?

He applauds everything, if you'll notice.

All right, get it.

All right.

You ready?

Yeah.

All right.

All right, let me just, all right, we're here.

We're here.

I'm going to take this blindfold off you, baby.

That's right.

We're at the Collingswood auction.

Yeah, it's closed, and nobody here but you and me.

You see that sign with the old guy with the finger pointing?

It's going right up your ass, that figure.

What do you think of that, baby?

You give me those bottles from the dump.

Oh, yeah, I got one.

Critical point one,

oh my god.

And who's that watching from the woods?

That's American Gino.

Oh,

it's the guy from Giddam's bar.

Yeah,

he's gonna watch you.

He's gonna watch you suck on that bottle.

Go ahead, suck on that bottle for me.

That's from 1936, that bottle.

Yeah.

All right.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Light my nipples on fire with the zippo.

Yeah.

Let this up.

That didn't do it.

Oh!

Thanks a lot.

I had a spice card.

We got a spice up.

Spice it up, Troy.

Oh, up one.

The fuck with the zippo now.

Put him over the edge.

Person role-playing as Giddam reveals to his partner his chocolate pudding fetish.

Oh, shit.

Start the clock.

Start the clock.

See that baby pool out there, buddy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I bought that at the auction for $3.

And see all those expired puddings?

I bought them at the auction for $2.

We're going to mix it up, baby.

That's it.

Light my nipples on fire while I roll around in this pudding.

Use that tipple.

Light this on fire.

Yeah.

Come on, baby.

Dude, I like how you call this lover, buddy.

Also, it is an Easter egg, a fun thing that the listener will never have experienced.

But just now, get him in both hands.

He had the horn gripped, and he had the car crash, soundmaker gripped, and he was staring at both of them, literally like a Sophie's choice.

It was anybody's ballgame just now.

Shit, I went deep.

I went into his Instagram history on that one.

American Tino.

Oh, Tino.

All right.

I guess that's why I got Doc.

That's why I got the spice.

Yeah, fucked up.

All right, Brian, who are you picking?

I know the American Tino Raffles.

Yeah, I picked Chris.

Well, what was my time?

Oh,

105.6.

Oh, all right.

But on an average, we're still down.

Well, we've got to see what they get now.

What was your first?

Where was your first one?

The first one was 131.

131.

You guys were one.

Yeah.

Whenever you guys are ready.

I'm trying to think of all the animals bullshit.

Ready?

Yep.

Fox sticking, man.

Guys, you don't have to talk about this.

How are those shackles fitting?

Like gloves.

Yeah.

I custom item just for you.

Out of old horseshoes.

You know what all those egg cards on the walls are about, right?

They get me wet.

Yeah?

Yeah.

What about that high-powered hose I hit you with earlier?

Critical point one.

Wider than that.

Bring the hose in again?

I'll hose you down.

Stop.

Oh, spice cards.

Okay.

I like the spice cards.

It makes it easier.

Person role-playing as Giddam reveals to his partner he has an intimate relation with the skeleton balloon.

No, he had an intimate relationship with the skeleton balloon.

Had an intimate relation with skeleton balloon.

Balloon?

Yeah.

You don't know this about your friend.

It's not a true story.

Somehow it's got turned into a true story.

Yeah, just like a pool noodle.

Ready?

Go.

Now, I'm sure most of the guys you've been with, you know, will fuck any kind of mylar balloon, but

many will take on a skeleton.

You into that, baby?

Big time.

I got three in my truck.

I'm not talking about like a balloon of an anorexic girl.

I'm talking full-on skeleton.

I'm fucking dripping.

I'm didddling myself as we're speaking.

You want to watch me pop it?

Pop it.

Pop that shit for you, baby.

Pop it all over my face.

Oh!

What?

Oh!

Stop the clock!

Stop the clock!

He's kicking it to the curb.

I got kicked to the curb?

He was too vulgar.

It was too graphic.

It's coming fetish.

But it's time.

He's still got a lot.

But the time stops because of it, so it actually helped them.

Yeah, but now he's bringing a new lover in, though.

Oh, it's going to continue.

So there's a time stop with the touchdown.

Now the new lover's gonna occur.

This is a time remain.

Apparently that was the line.

Wow.

Who's the new lover?

Get him, you get it.

You blew the horn on skull fucking a dead child's head.

But Dakota's finally dead.

Rob Bruce or Frank Five?

I'm gonna go with Rob Bruce.

Dang.

Okay, go.

All right.

That was so disturbing.

Guys.

Did he say that he was turned on by hair lips, Rob?

What's going on?

Why all of a sudden is it weird for him doing it?

Oh, my God.

Okay, great.

Oh, my God.

Look at that clock just ticking.

Get him.

I really like your decor.

This is a Johnny on the spot of College of Washington.

This isn't where I live.

I just love the view from the Johnny on the spot, and the smell drives me crazy.

Well, you're going to love the view even more when I stuff you down the hole.

A twirly?

I love twirlies.

Twirlies one way.

Drowning in feces is another.

Oh!

Holy shit!

Oh, he's going for

Frank Pie.

Well, that's his last partner.

We have a lot of people.

We're in and out.

Oh, my God.

What a dirty message is.

What chance do I stand with pillow talk?

Keep ready.

Go.

Go.

The last critical point is the horn, so get that ready.

Wait, I got the slide whistle every time.

Okay.

Go.

Hey, baby, I cannot believe you found that whole crate of Zippos and brought them over.

No charge?

I know what my baby likes.

Oh, woo!

226.

Wow.

It's almost as long as this straight shit.

All right.

Hey, free Zippos.

Oh, yeah.

I've got a move.

I've got a move

that's going to skip the bell and get us right to the fucking right to the slide whistle.

Really?

I'm doing a fucking get-em three-way.

Oh,

that's it man it's not who's your who's with the three-way my fucking two remaining

they're pretty much the person anyway so a middle sandwich

yeah and uh

all right

you just come with a go

let's go all right me do me a favor and set up that webcam right here we're bringing back get him's webcam right now i got two of them right that's not the critical point

yeah we got we're doing oh yeah all right, all right, here, Mike, get that storybook, and you start drinking now because

we're going to tell some stories on these webcams.

Oh, my God!

This is fucking awesome!

That's it.

Oh, yeah.

What a resolution are these webcams in, Ming?

What resolution?

It's 1080p for sure.

Oh, yeah.

4K, bitch.

They found him in the high school dumpster.

Spice.

Oh, okay.

Spice it up, bitches.

All right.

He's going to press that horn.

I don't think you needed any more spice.

Person role-playing is Gidem reveals he thinks of Spider-Man to prolong the act.

Yeah, all right, I can work with that.

That'll spice it up.

All right, ready?

Yeah.

Start.

All right, Chief, read that Spider-Man comics to our audience because thinking of Spider-Man makes me last longer.

You got it.

Did you eat the meat that I found in the dumpster?

Oh, you're so drunk, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, four times.

Oh,

I think it just shot my webs.

And I stole Teleste Dave.com account now.

It was crazy alarming how

keyed in to get him your head is.

I'm alarmed as well.

I mean, it's crazy all the things you brought up that you knew would be his

key spots.

I consider him his friend, so

I record his tendencies, you know, somewhere in my heart.

I try to keep track of what he's doing.

So let's recap.

Recap.

These guys winning for turning on a dude.

That's pretty much what's going on.

Yeah, Mammy!

Try to say you don't care that you lost.

I understand.

I'm actually, I'm very happy.

Setting either, right?

With the colder

colour every round.

Hey.

So, how many rounds did they go?

Even the dubious winners.

Three, and then this is their last round.

So,

can we give a time that they would have to be?

Let's add up.

Let's add up Team Q's, three three rounds.

Sal would probably be June 3.

She goes as soon as she should.

I've never felt so bad for Laura Bruce as when I was just having the pillow talk with her husband.

Mike.

And seriously, Dees felt bad for Laura Bruce before.

At a minute 47.

It was fucked up, man.

Just the looking through the eyebrows.

Like, he didn't even say a word.

He just made a noise on the front of the shit.

I'd rather lose.

You know what I had on my side?

I had fucking Ming Chen with the technical details of a webcam.

I knew that was going to be my thing.

And then talk about committing to being drunk.

He started reading Spider-Man in drunk talk, man.

I'm not going to blow a load when Ming says 4K.

You look like Lou Costillo's corpse was found on the equator.

All right.

So we have an average time.

We said about

minute nine for Team Q.

Team Bryce had a minute 45 for a while.

You really ought to bring that in.

You guys need a quick one.

You need like the quickest of quickies.

But the contempt that your team has shown.

They've shown no contempt.

I don't think it's going to help you.

Other than a hussal.

Chris has just been a mouth content the whole time.

He still thinks he's at the roast this guy.

Seriously.

All he's done is complain the whole time.

Rob's just a fucking albatross around your neck.

I love to know what the girls are thinking now.

Like, are they rooting for their team or are they rooting for the opposite team?

I'm still going to root for my team.

I think we can do it.

I think you're going to lose 300 chickens in this divorce.

You want to pull something out of your hat like Q did?

You want to go off the board and do something?

You shut the fucking hat off to pull something out.

No, I bet you, Brian.

You want to do something crazy here in this last round?

Do you like Q went with

two partners?

Do you want to do something?

With an interracial three-way.

But I'm pulled out of the way.

Yeah, just in case anyone didn't know I'm mulatto.

Oh, so

we get a bonus to try to bring it.

Yeah, you got one more chance here.

Is this allowed?

I don't.

You're saying wild card.

You could bring it to the judge, see what he says.

Judge, we want to bring one of your potential wives into the mix.

You can only bring your team in.

Team.

He's like, all males, please.

No,

you don't

Tis tis.

You can only bring in your team Test Team.

But that was that was you have the power to overturn that rule.

It's an arbitrary rule.

You're just going to have a girl dirty talking to you.

I can, you can.

You can only bring your contestant in.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

I thought he meant our team right here.

Your team's contestant.

Oh, then great.

Okay, great, great.

I say, great, bring teams in.

You guys, this is a dangerous game you're playing.

How's that going to help?

This is an unknown quantity you're bringing in right now.

Oh, God.

Okay.

That's a good question.

What?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

No, no, just check it out.

Just do what you've been seeing here.

How do you feel about Stool?

Whichever's easiest.

Oh my god.

I don't want to do this shit.

Doesn't even want to be there.

Why?

No, but he can get a three-ram, so he needs to be.

Wait, what?

Oh, God.

Oh, this is good.

He's got disaster written all over.

That's why I love it.

In 30 seconds.

Thanks, buddy, crazy.

We're going to try and turn him on through dialogue in 30 seconds.

And by me, Brian is me.

Right, but he's judging your turn.

Yes.

If you can't turn him out, it's just remember, David, just keep turning on.

Yeah, if I can't turn him on, then I just forfeit.

Yeah, because there's no point.

So you and Sal need to turn me on with your feminine wilds.

Let's get them.

Ready to go?

All right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Start.

Hey, baby, Ashley came to me and asked if we want to all go in the coop for a romp.

The coop, huh?

Yeah, chickens all over him.

Yeah,

it's getting pretty, pretty wild.

Feathers are gonna fly, baby.

Yeah, yeah.

Pluck me.

What do you say, Ashley?

You're into it?

Yeah.

Come on, Ashley, come on.

I'm gonna pluck the shit out of you.

Pluck me from behind.

There was no need for a spice for the survey, Jeff.

It's going to be close.

It's going to be close.

What are the three scores?

Troy's already on it.

Troy's already on it.

Wow.

That was great, great.

That was 34 seconds.

That is great.

That was

38 seconds.

34 seconds?

Richard forgot to look at it.

for the average.

This is going to be close.

Please tell me.

15 get him points.

Even if we lose the average, I think we won the lowest.

Yeah, we won.

Which is still something to be proud of.

Please tell me this work.

Oh, this is going to be close.

Well, this isn't for the whole kitten caboo.

I know, but I want to try and catch up.

15 get him coins is a lot, yeah.

I'm trying to catch up.

Do you want to do total amount of time?

No, I've got to go.

Oh, that's the farm, Harry?

I'm not putting the family farm on the line.

Yeah, they're probably the same outcome.

It's the same outcome.

It's the same outcome.

Mom, Dad, I got paid.

You work for Giddam.

Oh, cluck me from behind.

Oh, pluck me.

No, it's plucked.

Wait, did I say five?

I didn't even say five.

No, you said plucked.

This is not plucked.

You would have gotten the car crash if you had gone that dirty.

You don't go that kind of trash.

Double check.

All right,

we got it.

We got it.

Anybody else really double-check?

Is it a five?

Oh, man.

Is it close?

I think we had a debacle on the two-minute loss.

I think we lost.

Yeah, I don't think the plucking from behind saved us.

We went through three different lovers.

Trained and shit.

My team is like the A-team of this shit, man.

I don't have a weak link in this chain.

That is.

Who's your BA Barakas?

What's up?

Who's your BA Barakas?

My muscle?

It's got to be Troy.

Okay.

Yeah.

I got face.

I take them all.

Fricking Hollingman Murdoch.

Murdoch's definitely something, Jeff.

And he's the

newspaper.

Oh, Amy, Amy, you're awesome.

You're awesome.

Doesn't matter the colors?

No.

All right.

All right, so it's been tabulated twice.

Okay, you read it out.

All right.

With an average time of 83.6 seconds, Team Bry.

And Team Q comes in with an average time of 69.

Oh,

yeah!

69, blow that air horn.

Yeah!

Pluck that from behind, y'all!

Okay,

you guys are also playing in this round.

I missed the game.

What is this game?

Match game.

Oh, it's a match game.

Okay, good.

Much like the 70s match game show, teams will try to match Giddam's answer.

In the spirit of match game, using curse words as your answer will result in disqualification.

But innuendos are very much encouraged.

Each correct match is worth five Giddem points.

Oh, this game also allows contestants one and two a chance to play.

And if they match Giddem, it's worth ten points.

Woo!

So why aren't you pointing this out?

Whatever you guys write, if you guys match it, it's going to be worth 10 points if you get it right.

Oh, wow.

Ladies.

Exciting.

But you're only going when your team's going.

So

the first question is going to go to

Brian.

So only Brian's representative will be answering.

And then when Q's team goes.

That's you, Ashley.

Yes.

Can we confer?

But you guys, one team is not going, only one team's going, right?

Because you're not trying to match.

You don't want to match.

Well, one of those matches.

Oh, that would work, right?

Everybody going, it's work.

Okay, all right, so everybody can go.

Okay, okay.

All right.

I remember a match game being just like this.

People being like, wait, how do we play gun?

I'm trying to make it.

Well, I'm trying to make this for two teams, though.

That's a different, because only one contestant would go at one time, though.

If those assholes had everything structured, you're on the fucking.

It's kind of lying, bro.

Exactly.

It's kind of like a bad thing.

I'm also trying to,

they never were never trying to shoehorn in guys doing pillow talk to each other.

I don't know.

Charles Nelson Riley was

all right.

So, this is questions for everybody.

If you match it, it's worth five points

for your team, right?

And if you girls match it, it's worth ten points.

Okay,

question one:

Gim Steve Dave really loves bottles.

I was over at his house the other day, and he even uses bottles to blank.

So, Gim, don't answer, you don't say anything.

You guys, everybody writes their answer down.

And you're trying.

It's completely open-ended?

Is that what it is?

Yeah, I'll read it again.

Gim Steve Dave really loves bottles.

I was over at his house the other day, and he even uses bottles to blank.

It doesn't have to be a word.

It could be more than one word.

Are we going for jokey or we're trying to actually guess?

He's answered these already.

No, he's going to answer it right now.

He's never heard the question before.

Oh.

It's just like match game.

Now, get him, are you going to be jokey or serious?

Yeah, that's important.

I think, I think, serious.

Seriously,

he should be able to try and roll right now.

Well, he shouldn't be.

Yeah, you guys should not be seeing what he's doing.

He fucks up a serious drive for you.

Yeah, close your eyes.

Get him, Steve Dave Riddler's bottles.

I was over in his house the other day, and he and he even uses bottles to blank.

Are we allowed to have a jokey answer followed by the real answer?

You could give, yeah, like in the spirit of the match game.

They did say a fake answer, and then they turned our car over and revealed their real answer.

You've got to reveal your card to get them to get the points, though.

Don't look, get them.

Rob, don't, don't.

So tell me what everyone's done.

Two or a

less.

I'll read it again.

Boy, get him.

Steve Dave really loves bottles.

I was over at his house the other day, and he even uses bottles to blank.

Mike, this is, I thought you would love this.

I am, but I'm like, oh shit.

No, I'm not.

But

can we have some like 70s music too?

Well, if that's the thing.

Everybody got their answer?

I have mine.

Does Getham have his?

Yes.

Is this a team thing that everybody answers?

Everyone's answering, but

the contestants are garnering points.

If you're matching, you're going to match.

You've got to match.

You've got to match, get him.

Everybody's got to match.

Could he have more than one answer?

Nope.

What's that?

Could he have more than one answer?

No, he's going to say one thing.

One more thing.

He's going to reveal his answer to us, and then I'm going to go around the table to get your guys' answers to see how close it was.

And he will be the final judge.

If it's close enough, if it's in the spirit of the answer, he will say, I will take that or I won't exchange.

Shouldn't he?

So many MM will be acceptable.

You never see Mash Game?

Yeah.

I mean, it's been a while, but I just was.

It's been fucking 25 years.

I was hoping that he was not on first.

He's got a clicks.

So he doesn't get to hear all of ours and possibly.

All right.

Everybody's ready?

Yeah.

Everybody has an answer written down, Brian.

You look like you're still writing.

No, I'm not.

Okay.

Get him Steve Babe.

Here's the question one more time.

Boy, get him Steve Babe really loves bottles.

I was over at his house the other day, and he even uses bottles to blank.

To cook with.

Or prepare food.

All right.

Oh, Brian.

You're fucking kidding me.

Well, you never rolled out like.

Wait,

that's not cooking, that's baking.

No.

If you're rolling out dough, that's baking.

Not cooking.

It sounds like cooking.

Did you write baking?

An answer that.

Then fuck you.

It sounds like you were trying to figure out what the hell else you can do to use bottles.

And it's not real.

Cooking slash preparing food.

Yeah, but you don't prepare food with bottles, do you?

He was rolling out a slummy biscuit.

Wait a minute.

We should get 10 points.

Is that a you physician?

He was rolling out his slummy biscuit the other day.

I'm not going across the street.

Did anybody have any answers?

All right, Ryan, you're going to go first.

Okay, my first answer was to keep his ships in.

My second answer was decorate his bedroom.

I had no idea.

I didn't think it would be so cute.

Decorate his bedroom is good.

Oh, so we have to put two answers.

No, no, that was like a Hollywood squad.

Gotcha.

I got it.

All right, Q.

Well, my first answer was to store horse semen.

Wow!

My other answer was candle holders.

Candle holders.

Nope, that could be putting buzzers in there after all these people.

Second pick would be.

What do you say?

Aren't you the boss of me?

I put one real answer.

I put drink his beverages from him.

No, no, no, no, no.

That makes sense.

No, I'm serious because I look at a collection of bottles, and like you have your favorite cup that you drink out of.

I thought he would, like, let's say if he wanted a glass of juice, he'd pour that in one of his favorite bottles and drink from that bottle, which he has been doing all night long.

So, I mean,

he three times tonight has taken water from this bottle and poured it into the bigger bottle and then used it to drink the water.

There's no foreseeable reason why he wouldn't just drink it from this bottle.

I watched him do it all night.

I was befuddled, and then I thought it was a sign from God.

I guess not.

I guess he uses it to roll dough.

It's not even like he puts two bottles into the one big bottle, just the one.

All right.

Asshole.

Troy, I turned to you five times and said, he's pouring the drink from one bottle

into the other bottle.

He is.

My first answer was: he uses the bottles to bludgeon dates into submission.

And then I went with decorate.

Which would be the same thing.

I put to pee in.

I thought that was good.

To tell you the truth, I thought that was going to do the answer.

I totally agree.

We've all been there.

I use water jokes for that.

Sometimes that upstairs bathroom is just too far to get there.

My answer is he uses his bottles to make whoopee.

Nice.

Make whoopee with himself.

With himself.

He he fucks his bottles.

You're so close to the Routine match.

Yeah, I know.

Don't throw the cards away because there's one more question you have to ask about.

Frank, number five.

I said he used them to bathe in.

I thought he had maybe a really big bottle.

Like in the polka doughs that

beautiful mountainside launch.

They still have them.

Don't.

All right.

My jokey answer is masturbate.

And then my real answer is fucking masturbate.

You fucking freak.

You're scrubbing toilets.

I think we're glossing over that Mrs.

5 has gone to Mount Airy Lodge several times.

So is Mike.

Rob Bruce.

Hold on.

To store stuff in, like rice, nails.

That seems logical.

Why did you put your name on your tag up there?

Did you think someone else was going to read off of your card?

Seriously, it's a bitch getting old, Rob.

And Sunday, Jeff.

I went almost the same as Sal to drink out of

no matches.

I can't believe that.

I really thought.

Well, we got two more.

I thought you were using it.

We got two more over there.

I thought a lot of these answers were good answers, but I would have never thought he uses it to prepare food.

We do have two more answers over there.

Oh, that's right.

The girls are playing.

Brides to be.

Go ahead, contestant one.

I'm discussing.

I said he diddles himself with the bottle.

But there we heard.

Yes, of course.

It's your Prince Charming right there.

Diddles himself with them.

That was the wrong answer.

And contestant two?

Is she just voting Ghostbusters?

Yeah, you got Jane.

Yeah, congratulations, Ghostbusty.

That's what I got.

Well, you're best, sir.

So good job.

Good job.

Oh, man.

No right answers on that one.

Surprisingly.

Last question.

Match game and then the final be-all end-all where you guys will be able to bet it all and try to win.

Get him, Steve.

Dave said, I like my women like I like my Zippos.

They both better be blank.

Thank you so much, Walt.

I love you.

All right, get him, Steve.

Dave.

Get him, Steve.

Dave said, I like my women like I like my Zippos.

They both better be blank.

Hot for me.

Oh, see a lot of happy faces around here.

My first answer was old, used, and bought at auction.

And my second answer was hot.

Well, I would you're a call to get them.

You would, you would, you're the judge on that.

Is that in the spirit of the answer?

Yeah.

There's a match.

Five.

Five points.

That was hard to ask.

All right.

Q.

All right.

Well, my first answer was old and filled with fluid.

But my answer was easy to open.

But

was not the answer we were looking for.

Val?

I'm ashamed of myself.

My joke answer was full of gas.

And my real answer was on fire, aka hot.

Is it written, Dave?

AKA hot.

Oh!

Another match.

I wrote aka hot.

Damn!

I'll make a broad out of you yet.

My joke answer was purchase cheap in a dirt lot.

And

my real answer was hot.

Yes!

Chris?

My joke answer was like when filled with fluid, and then my real answer was lit.

Lit?

No, not a match.

You got a problem.

Like drunk?

Yeah.

That's what I'm taking that.

Bing.

Yeah, that's right.

Like to Zippo's joke answer solid, but real answer are hot and shiny.

Is that acceptable?

Hot and makes the shiny.

Hot and shiny, man.

Shiny.

Hot and shiny describing shiny.

No.

No,

all right.

Subtle.

Yeah, that's good, right?

Right?

Frank five?

My joke answer was that the woman had to be cheap, and my real answer was that she had to be functional.

Is that how?

Mike?

We got two.

Full of fluid.

Sorry, buddy.

All right.

And Rob Bruce?

Hot and easy to strike.

Hot and shiny doesn't do it.

That's the way I do.

That's my straight answer.

Hot Shiny doesn't do it, then hot.

Hot, hot.

He wrote wrote hot, too.

No, I know he did.

It was the N that made it

hot.

Okay, you know, so they both count their wash.

Or they both don't count, it's a wash.

Who cares?

They both, enough, it doesn't count that.

This is going to be hotter than that.

They both count as one.

But there's an and.

See, and.

Isn't there like a joke?

All right, enough, enough, enough.

Dinner drink hot, right?

You wrote hot and shiny.

Okay, no, but

you can't not give them hot and shiny.

But it doesn't matter.

Because if he gives it to them both, it's a wash.

If he doesn't give it to them both, it's a wash, so it doesn't matter.

Sunday, Jeff.

Hot, baby.

We're talking about that Titan of the Titan.

We got potential suitors here worth the 10 points.

What did contestant one say?

I messed up.

I said cheap.

Oh,

it's all accurate.

You're talking about yourself, though.

She's like, yeah, that's all right.

I don't care.

Contestant two?

I said fiery.

Get him?

Fiery.

Fiery from.

Yeah.

I'm going to go.

Oh!

Yay!

Fiery.

But you're easy to strike.

No, it's 10 points.

Oh, it's Sandy, right?

Yep.

Oh, that's a blow.

I think Giddam's throwing the game, man.

Fiery.

Don't let him do the checkpoint.

All right.

Last, but here's what you guys could really

do in here.

All right.

This is what's called Giddam's Got All the Answers.

A series.

This is it.

Then we're going right into the wedding.

Yes.

Teams gamble all their Giddam points based upon questions.

Giddam must answer.

Here's an example question.

I'll read the question, and then you guys will confirm what you guys want to bet

if you can get the answer right.

What's the score right now so we know?

You can gamble.

I think we can figure it out.

What's the score right now?

Team Bry has 18 points, and Team Q has 50.

Oh,

yeah.

You guys can win.

There's more than one question.

We have to bet it all and win every time.

You say 50 and 18.

If he gets it, it's a 50-50 chance you're going to get it right.

You say you can't get it right?

But there's a 50-50 chance.

I'm going to bet one point.

No, it's not.

It's only if you can get it right that you get the points.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Well, whatever.

Here's an example of what we're going to be asking you.

Whatever.

I can only live where there is light, but I die if the light shines on me.

What am I?

You would wager if he's going to get that question right.

What was the question?

I can only live where there is light, but I die if the light shines on me.

What am I?

What am I to say?

I'm a shadow.

Yeah.

Okay, is this down to the team captains?

This is down to the team captains solely, but

they could confirm what they're saying.

But this is just an example of that.

Like, what would you guys bet on that?

25%.

You'd bet all 18?

Yeah.

You can't.

You want to save yourself for some points.

I just did 10.

Oh, okay.

He's just to say, what would you bet on that?

10?

25.

That he's going to get it right.

Oh, that he's going to get it right.

We could only bet what we have.

Yeah, I wouldn't bet it all.

Wow.

You got to do it in stages.

You could do it, you know,

get it right.

Oh, so you said the points.

You basically have to gamble everything that you're going to get the first question right to win.

Right.

Because I'm only bet one point there's no reason for me but there's no there's multiple questions yeah you but you lose

35 questions but then i'll drop from 50 to 49 if i lose okay all right well what would you guys have bet on that

so we need to bet it all twice yeah basically well no no no no no gotta double up we need to bet yeah no no we need to bet it all the first time get it right then we'll have 36 and we'll have to beat his 49 but well you could lose it all but

what did you guys want to bet on that let's that sample one what would you bet but what would you bet 10 15 no they got to do to do 18 we have to do it all okay you want to bet one one

okay

he would get it right

what is the answer to that uh shadow that's right just like mike said

stay lower next time it was the sample question so you guys would have got you guys would have got 18 point extra points right there you only would have got one that's all right so you have to really correct your point you don't know how hard you think you have to bet before i say the question

Okay, I'm going to bet one no matter what.

They lose them.

They have no points left.

But the first one is no, there's no reason for me to bet bet anything but one point.

You bet half your points.

No matter what.

Because if you're 18, you're done.

You have no more points.

Yeah, but even if we bet 17, so we don't have zero, we can have a win from one.

Right.

They have to win the first question.

They have no choice.

They don't.

You don't know how many questions there are.

But it doesn't matter what.

You have nothing left.

You have nothing left to catch.

Don't bet at all.

There's a chance you could still win.

But if they don't win the first one, they're so far in the hole.

If they bet 10, though, they go up to 28.

Then they could just bet that again and be at 56 or 65 questions

right so maybe we just bet 10 at first telling us don't bet at all

i finally carried the one

they finally carried the one

don't bother

you for the last three hours

hasn't bother him for the last three years

so how many so we don't know how many questions tell me what you what you guys are going to bet on that first one so we don't get to know how many questions there are uh there are at least six

Oh, okay.

Then we should be a little conservative.

So we don't get to hear the question first.

That seems oh, you know what?

I got to I got get them feud too.

What?

I got get them feud too, where I did a poll and I know what get them questions.

But that's what I was going to do first.

Yeah, well, we could do that.

We could shoehorn that in real quick, or we could make this the last one.

So you got to get in some medical.

Get them feuded in.

Everybody plays.

All right.

Okay.

Team one, you're going to go first.

And you girls could get in this one.

Name something that Giddam thinks about right before he falls asleep.

Brian?

Not waking up.

Strike one.

Sal?

He answered this.

No, I did a poll of listeners.

Oh, like Family Feud.

Okay, okay.

Name something that Giddam.

Name something that Giddam thinks about right before he falls asleep.

Can we confirm?

No?

Yeah, no.

On Family Feud,

no, only at the last question.

question.

Only with the final, like when they try to win the question.

I'll go.

If it's listeners and they know him and they're probably answering for real, I'll say, since he loves Zippos so much, maybe a Zippo collection or Zippos in general.

Number one answer, Zippo.

How many is it in the boy?

Five.

This has proven to be the hardest game.

Like, no one ever gets Chris Ledondo?

Yes.

The racetrack.

Ooh, strike two.

Oh, God.

How is that possible?

That's all he fucking talks about in the show.

Dad, Zippos, horses, and shit.

I don't think he talks about the horse track that much.

Right, five?

We're going to say he talks about.

No, he thinks about before he falls asleep.

He thinks about, I think he thinks about food.

Before he falls asleep?

Eating pigeons in particular.

I feel like where he's going to go to eat.

Wow, strike three.

You guys can feel this.

I mean, I got to say horses, right?

We got horses?

Was that?

listeners?

We gotta say bottle dump.

You gotta say.

Oh, yeah.

We gotta stop.

Can we go with bottle dump?

Number two answer, bottle dump.

Wow.

Yes.

How many?

Horses on the two points.

Two points.

All right.

Which horses are?

The other things he thought about were permanent teeth.

I dreamed about those.

Sharpening his machete.

And new dance/slash karate moves.

Dude,

I'm one Napoleon Dynamite.

I'd say.

Did they win that round?

Yes.

Okay, there's

It's always funny.

Hey, everybody, what's up?

It's your second favorite Staten Islander, Chris Ledondo.

Well, here we are again in the Cathedral of Virginity, Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash.

Let's face it, you have more of a chance of getting sex in a church than in a comic book store.

Even if it's from a guy wearing a funny hat and dress.

Get him, when Wall texted me with the great news that you were getting married at the Stash, my immediate response was, To a human woman?

Today is a beginning to a new beginning, or new charges.

Let us not look back to past relationships of so-called love, even if as we speak, the jarger you met a month ago near the bottle dump is breaking free from the ropes using her dead best friend's femur bone.

She climbs out of the hole you left her in and runs through the woods that leads to the Garden State Parkway to get on with her life.

No, wait, no, no.

Yeah, she's dead.

She just got hit by an academy bus heading to Atlantic City.

They say happiness is going through people's garbage or haggling the price of a zippelider with a Korean War veteran on a Sunday morning.

Giddam is a hopeless romantic, but some would say just hopeless, and by some I mean everyone breathing.

He has been out of the sexual arena for a while.

The last time he handled double Ds was when he spilled Dunkin Donuts on his Dungeons and Dragons game board.

Giddam was a wrestler back in high school, misses Gidim, so he may try the same moves on you that he used on his most fierce opponent he has ever had, his sexuality.

When Gidham is into a relationship, he's all in, like he is with livestock, shoulder deep and fully erect.

In return, Mrs.

Gidam, your love for him should know no boundaries, or at least be within the boundaries of the area of where the chain on your soon-to-be-wearing dog collar will allow.

Mrs.

Gidam, your dream boat has docked.

I see lots of LED lights in your future.

Granted, they'll be coming from emergency service vehicles surrounding your home, aka Giddam's tricked-out BTK wagon, but LED lights nonetheless.

And for your honeymoon, as you set sail through the pine-barren swamps, hold on tight.

No, seriously, hold on.

He claims to be on some sort of spectrum, so you never know when one of these freaks are going to snap.

Congratulations, Mr.

and Mrs.

Giddem Steve Dave.

Hi, this is Telequi.

And this is Sorjo U2.

Just kidding.

We can't come to the film right now.

We're at the Vortex.

If it's Tellum Steve Dave calling, congratulations on your 300 show.

Brian, Walt, Q, you guys are awesome.

Good luck and bright blessings on your next 300 from Sorgho 18.

And Telequi.

We hope to see you guys again real soon with new and exciting evidence from the Vortex.

Hey, really great songs Stu from Australia made for you.

I know, it really is.

All right,

this is Brian Quinn, one of the three hosts of Tell Hem Steve Dave.

Listen to me, I'm in an Epcot Center.

I'm drinking.

I'm going around the world here.

Waltz is harassing me about a toast forget him for his wedding thing.

We recorded this thing fucking months ago.

Yet somehow, even down here in Florida, Giddem is still harassing me.

So what you hear in the background, the drums is fucking the country of Italy putting on a fantastic show for me.

They're serving me wine.

They're giving me fried calamar, some pizza.

This is bullshit.

But here I am recording something for Giddam Steve Dave of all people.

for a sham marriage that's never going to fucking amount to anything because Giddam doesn't even have the capacity to love.

He doesn't have it in him.

All he wants to do is fucking steal websites and eat fried food that I keep telling him he's got to eat.

And until I see some change from that motherfucker, I'm not giving it to him.

All that motherfucker.

All right, so I'm getting a high sign, which means that I got to go.

But I will say this: I will say this: congratulations to Giddem, Steve Dave.

But more important than that, congratulations to Brian Johnson, Walt Flanagan, myself,

and more importantly,

all the ants who have supported us up until this point.

Some of you are a bunch of whiny cunts, but the most of you are nice.

You know, and we do what we do, and we love it.

And I don't know, I'm fucking drunk, man.

I just had a beer made out of grapefruit in Disney's version of Germany.

So there you go.

Congratulations, Giddam.

To the ants, I love you.

You actually do give me the creative outlet that I love more than anything in the world, and I will never, ever, ever be able to tell you how much I appreciate that.

Let it guys.

Now, the last question for these guys on this round would be: name a reason some listeners hated or hate Gidem.

You

stole our website.

Number one answer.

There you go.

Yes, yes.

Asshole, you're on our team.

Nervous laughs.

That was wrong.

He's just rooting philosophy.

Nervous laugh.

They hate his laugh.

Yes.

Yes.

Ming?

This is somebody recently.

They are jealous that you like him so much.

Yes.

Shit.

Jealous of his PSD stature.

Wow.

How many answers on the board?

Five.

It's two left, right?

You got three answers with no stripes.

Guys, we can steal a bite of your body.

Oh, it's fine.

At the end, I'm going to jump around on my TikTok story.

They don't like his stories.

Strike one.

Sunday, Jeff.

Maybe don't like his Facebook posts.

I have no idea.

There's no idea like a true family theater.

How the fuck should I be?

Good answer.

All right, I'm allowed one pass.

You can't take your strike.

Come on, man.

What was your answer?

What do you write?

Text posts online.

Social media postings.

Yeah.

Maybe some people might know.

Shut the fuck up.

Q, two strikes.

I'm going to say talks over us on the podcast.

Strike three.

You guys can steal this

they don't like.

Well, we didn't.

We took the easy ones off the market.

We confer, right?

We confer to

is it too much to say overall attitude?

Is that general?

That's not general at all.

Overall demeanor.

Brings the show to a screeching.

Yeah, I remember that.

I don't think anybody cares about that stuff.

Except for my

motherfucker.

The answer was.

What's been said?

I'll give you this.

I'll give you what's been said.

Held the domain name hostage.

Jealous of his TSD stature.

Find his laugh/slash voice annoying.

Just why is he so special?

Could it be that

he disses Quinn by not returning to this?

Ah, that's a good one.

Yeah, big timing.

You're going to go with diss q over multiple invites?

That's what I would go with.

It's up there.

Wow.

Yeah.

All right.

Did that help at all?

Did that help at all?

I got you.

I got you.

We're in the exact same spot, boys.

All right, let's just go.

Because we're going to be dumb enough, buddy.

What did Rob say?

Who was the other answer?

Who was the fifth answer?

I think hitting on Jordan.

What's your answer?

Seeks attention too much.

Seeks too much attention on the pod.

All right, so now we're back to the Giddam's got all the answers.

Give me what you're willing to bet, which I believe was a button.

It was one Giddam point, and you guys have how many get him points that I got?

53 to 20 now, right?

You got 20?

What are you guys willing to bet on this?

You had 51.

You had 50.

Now you have 52.

To 20.

And we have 20.

Realizing you're only betting one.

Six questions.

How much are they betting?

We'll still get him reviewed.

Well, we'll bet two.

We'll bet two.

I'm feeling saucy.

Let's go two.

Yeah, let's do two.

We'll bet two.

Two get him coins.

coins.

Saucy.

We're going to go ten.

Ten points.

Okay.

Palsy.

A surgeon.

Okay, here we go.

Here's your riddle.

A surgeon named Hal and a bus driver named Al are both in love with the same woman named Paige.

Al needs to go for a long trip of 10 days.

Before he left, he gave Paige 10 apples.

Why?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Can we bet a million?

A surgeon named Hal and a bus driver named Al are both in love with the same woman named Paige.

I'll tell you right now, names don't mean anything.

Al needs to go for a long, on a long trip for 10 days, but before he leaves, he's giving Paige 10 apples.

Why is he giving her 10 apples?

Can I ask you a question?

I don't say whether or not he gets it.

He needs to get this correct.

It doesn't matter right.

There's no way he's going to get it.

He says it first, and everybody else can say the same shit.

It doesn't matter.

He gets it right.

I know it.

I got it.

Sal has it.

Sal knows it, but

they're all important.

At the table, know it.

That's it.

That's it.

Give him Steve Dave.

We're going to need an answer.

A surgeon named Hal and a bus driver named Al

with the same woman named Rage.

Al needs to go on a long trip of 10 years.

It doesn't matter if he left.

Did you hear?

He gave Paige

10 apples.

Why did he give her 10 apples?

Okay, I totally forgot.

Did you hear?

No.

Okay.

I know.

Come on, get him.

Oh, wait, did we bet if he would get it?

Are we going to bet?

Did we bet if he get it if he gets it right?

He got 10 apples that he gets it right.

No, no, we bet it.

No, because we get it wrong.

No, he didn't give us that option.

Why would we bet for him to get it right?

We wouldn't want to bet that.

You're betting to see whether

he gets it right or wrong.

But we want to bet that he gets it wrong.

Don't we get to wager 10 if he gets it right or wrong?

No?

Yeah, right.

I thought that was the right thing.

That was the whole thing.

That's what we were saying in Tell.

I thought it was 10 that he gets it right.

For the shadow.

Like, we'll never get that right.

Let's bet.

Okay, all right.

That changes it.

We could do that.

But then

we could never possibly catch up if we think he's going to get it wrong every time.

All right.

No, no.

You win if you guess whether that's right or wrong.

If you say he's going to get it wrong and he gets it wrong, you win.

That's what we do.

Right.

That's what we talked.

That's what Walton asked us for.

All right, but we could throw that one out and start do it that way.

No, use the question,

and let's just say now we said no, we haven't already yet, so we didn't.

But

you guys had the advantage of him fucking staring at her like in a fucking stupor.

So I had to scrape the question, to be the most fair.

Okay, that would be almost fair to spike the question.

All right, so here's the.

So you guys.

You stupid fuck.

You guys are obviously going to bet 10 again, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Damn, you're now.

It was an apple at the piece of doctor.

Now we lose that question to catch up to that.

Why?

Okay, your betting tent, and what are you going to bet it on?

If you hear the question, you're going to bet then?

Well, you tell me.

But let's hear the question or not hear the question.

I say we should hear the question, then bet, right?

Okay.

Otherwise, it's just a blind bet.

We should be taking turns.

Yeah.

You are going to take turns.

Right.

So you're going next.

Okay.

Calm down, Troy.

Oh, wait.

So then if we lost the question there and we're only taking turns, then the questions, if there was six before, we have more than six.

Okay.

Just for us to know how much to bet, I need to know how many questions there are because

okay, got it.

So it's three chances we get versus their three chances.

I thought you said there's more than six.

Oh, I thought we were.

Well, I was only limited to six.

We have options here.

We're not all betting on the same question with taking turns.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Okay, I didn't know that.

What is brown and sticky?

You should know this.

Yeah, but you have to be stone-faced.

You want to get him, you want to bet he knows it or doesn't know it?

What is brown and sticky?

I mean, I don't know it.

Is that a riddle?

Yeah, it's a riddle.

Nothing jumps to mind.

I say we bet that he doesn't know it.

It's too many things.

Okay, they're betting ten points.

You don't know it.

Ten points, I don't know it.

Give me an answer.

A stick.

Correct.

Oh,

shit!

It's it!

Gets it!

Suck a damn!

The way he said it!

With such arrogance!

Give me a fucking break!

Yeah, points.

This is all my appearance again, Sal.

What do I look like now?

This is get up logic, Vitz.

Got him and try it!

Wait a second.

The riddle is what's brown and sticky.

A stick!

Makes perfect sense to me!

A stick is not sticky.

Sure is.

It is.

It's the act of being a stick.

I mean, my first thought was sugar.

It doesn't matter.

It's not the fucking word.

Yeah, but you know, it doesn't matter.

You guys aren't betting whether you know it.

You're betting whether Giddam knows it.

And he fucking knew it.

It doesn't matter.

Wait, man.

I think Wake contesting the actual thing,

not him, right?

You're saying, like, that's such a stupid age.

But it doesn't matter if not set some of the points.

They're right.

Yeah.

Actually,

we had him on Apple at T.

Can you subtract 10 points from them?

Yeah.

10 to 52.

All right.

Here's what you're doing.

What's round and you see what?

Yeah, two points.

Can you get that one?

Megan's mother.

Not for everybody.

The cat's too high.

Come on.

What is that?

He goes, what's round and you see what?

He goes, well, not for everybody.

He points out.

That was the second answer.

There we go.

Megan's mother has four daughters named April, May, June, and what?

Megan's mother has four daughters.

April, May, June, and what?

I mean, he's gonna get, of course, he's gonna get this.

So you're betting, yes, you're gonna get it.

Yes, two points.

We already put two down.

Get him.

What's the answer?

Megan.

Yes, correct.

Megan's mother.

Name the other three.

Absolutely.

Megan's mother has four daughters named April, May, June, and what?

Megan.

And Megan.

Megan's mother.

Megan's mother has four daughters.

April, May, June, and Megan.

Oh, Megan's mother has four daughters.

Megan's

However,

all right, Fry.

Yeah, what's up, Sticky?

Why is it illegal for a man to marry his widow's sister?

Okay.

You guys probably should bet the 10.

Yeah, let's go with the 10.

And you'll know it, right?

And you'll know it or not know it.

Oh, I think you should know it.

Why is it illegal for a man to marry his widow's sister?

He'll know the answer.

Yes.

oh gosh

sticky sticky come on

come on let the man you look like a freaking let the man think because she's dead

that's the correct answer because it is illegal to marry a corpse whoa no no no he said because she's dead

not because he's dead he said because she's dead yeah

so illegal to marry a corpse is the answer but that's not what he said

he said because she's dead but he's the one that's he's he just he's he he will judge.

He will.

What are you saying?

Get him, are you right?

He's not right.

I was right.

He's not right.

You can say anything and then say I was right.

How long did he judge?

20 to 54.

But that's not what he meant.

No, he didn't.

He didn't mean that.

He meant that.

He gave the wrong answer.

In the spirit of the answer, that was the correct answer.

But no, it's not.

Dead corpse.

Because you have to figure out that the guy is dead.

He didn't cognizantly recognize that there was a dead person

somewhere.

You said right answer.

That's not the right answer.

But he gets the rule, and his ruling is final.

This is some fucking miniature golf shit right here.

I don't know.

Corpse species.

Is this corpse Dakota fanning?

Because I don't know.

I wish.

All right, so that's what we're doing.

All right.

All right.

Fuck you.

You got stick, man.

You look like a waterlogged cake topper.

How about a waterlogged Machuca?

Ready, Q?

I'm ready.

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years.

Once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years.

What do we got?

54?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, Jesus.

You know it?

Yeah.

Do you think he will

go down?

Four points he doesn't know.

He's writing some stuff down.

Four points that he gets it wrong.

Four points, he doesn't know it.

Get him what comes once in a minute?

Four points that I'm wrong.

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years.

So they're betting four points they don't know it's the letter M?

Yes, with the letter M.

Wow.

Kim, can you now say face to Troy?

He has to write it.

Troy thought that he was going to know it.

Troy advised him.

I had to figure out what the letter it was.

All right, Troy.

Oh, Troy, you knew you said.

Is this the final question?

No, there's one more after this.

One more round?

That's the final question for them.

Wait,

is this the one we can't win, right?

He's like, am I still playing?

No, then you can win.

You can absolutely win.

How many points do you have?

Is it 50 to 20?

50 to 20.

So we have to bet it all right to get to 40, and we have to lose it.

And we have to bet it.

I can make it one more round to make it interesting.

Let's do it.

Let's make it interesting.

Let's make it interesting.

It's been interesting this far.

Okay, you ready?

We gotta bet it all, right?

Yeah, you have to.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man and a bicycle and a hobo on a tricycle?

What's the difference between a well-dressed man and a bicycle and a hobo on a tricycle?

I mean, I fucking hope he would get it.

He's dressed for the occasion.

You're fucking.

You're constantly bragging.

Your IQ is 15 points higher than mine.

Well, you know what, guys?

Well, make this.

If you don't get this right, then there's no need to go on it.

If you get it right, we'll go on it.

So you're betting that he's going to get it.

So you're betting 20 points that he knows it that he's going to get it.

I feel like he's going to get it.

I don't know it.

I've never heard it.

I have to think about it, but I think he might know it.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and

a hobo on a tricycle?

So, you're betting 20?

Oh, okay.

But you know it.

20 that you know it.

That it's a wheel?

Yes.

Yeah, we stay around.

All right.

So, what's the point of this?

40 to 50.

Wow, so this makes it really interesting.

We got to go all in.

We got to do 50.

No, you don't.

Sure, we do.

You need to get to 81 to beat us.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

They bet everything.

They would only have to bet if you don't get this, if you only bet one point, they would only, you know.

Yeah.

But then I'm really putting.

If you bet everything, then you lose.

Or I lose it.

Or I win.

Yeah, that's true.

Or I put us in an unreachable position.

He's going for the throw.

Yeah.

Bet everything.

All right.

Well,

what's the question?

How about you betting?

That's what I want.

Well, that's, you weren't, you didn't ask them.

They bet after they heard the girls.

They knew they were betting at all.

Meanwhile, the girls laughed.

Yeah.

Checking with the brides.

How nervous are you?

So, what do we think?

We're playing nervous.

4 to the point, sir.

50-40.

You don't like the way Q's playing fast and loose with your point.

If we went 40,

here's the thing: they started.

Watch how they play Jeopardy, Q.

They don't play like your point.

They started.

They started.

Well, yeah, they started.

So we got the last turn.

We got a last turn over what?

That last elixir, as they say?

Yeah, so we win.

Somebody's making a last turn.

We win.

You don't even have to play.

So you started the whole game, and if they

had one more round, you must bet at least one point.

Yeah, but no, no, but we have another question coming our way.

Yeah.

Okay.

So we can just

sit tight and see what they do.

Exactly.

We'll bet one point.

One point.

One point.

Yes.

Fuck you guys and your strategy.

I was about to bet all 50.

I like it, man.

It was a good idea.

Let's see.

Yeah, so it's hard to do.

In a trial about a man murdering his wife, in closing statements, the man's lawyer surprises everyone when he announces this man's wife was just missing.

Everyone turned to look at the doors.

His wife is going to walk through those doors in 30 seconds.

The entire court went silent, and the jury stared at the door as the lawyer and the defendant stared at the jury.

After a couple minutes, the lawyer says, See, if you were so sure he killed his wife, you wouldn't be watching that door.

The jury went into

deliberation and came back almost immediately with a guilty verdict.

Why did the the jury convict him?

One point.

Because he get that right or did he get it wrong?

I think he gets it right.

He sees showing that he has an agile mind for this sort of thing.

I have a lot of faith in Gidham.

He knows the legal system well.

Yeah.

But he might be

in his head terrified about somebody hiding behind the doors.

Yes, that's true.

He's got it.

I think he's got it.

He's got an arrogant look on his face.

I love it.

Could I have it again, please?

Yeah, that makes it.

About a man murdering his wife.

Did you pick it up?

Feeling good about that one.

They said he said he had it right.

In a trial about a man killing his wife, in the closing statements, the man's lawyer surprises everyone when he announces this man's wife was just missing.

Everyone, look at those doors.

His wife is going to walk through those doors in 30 seconds.

The entire court went silent, and the jury stared at the door as the lawyer and the defendant stared at the jury.

After a couple minutes, the lawyer says, see,

if you were so sure he killed his wife, none of you would have looked at the door.

The jury goes into deliberation and comes back immediately with a guilty verdict.

Why did the jury convict him?

I know it.

Shit.

Are these put here to tempt me?

No, they're asking.

Yes, sir.

No, I'm drawing a blank.

Dumbass.

Sarah says you're sure

that his wife wasn't going to walk through the door.

They would have looked at the door.

They knew the wife wasn't going to go through the door because she was dead.

So they didn't even bother to look at the door.

Correct.

Where'd you get that?

You said in there, the jury looks at the door.

No, no, but the lawyer, the lawyer and the guy were looking at the jury.

They didn't look at the door.

The defendant was looking at the jury.

She wasn't going to come through the door.

Because she was dead.

So how many points did you win?

I think you lost 15 in

15 IQ points.

Brian, that puts you even with it.

29 to 40.

Okay, this is big right now.

We're looking for reaction.

Okay.

So

they have 49.

I don't believe he's a genius mentality.

Then what do we have?

You're 40.

40.

It's just a matter.

We can never beat them if we doubled up.

If we doubled up, they have enough to double up.

So it's just about getting it right or wrong.

That's all down to it.

So we have to bet it.

You don't get it right.

We have to bet at least 10.

B me as well bet it all.

It just doesn't matter.

You might as well bet it math.

If you don't get it right, you'd probably bet 20 to cover them.

No, no, if you don't get it right, it's all right.

We got to bet it all.

You have to bet it all.

Well, you don't have to bet it all, but if you don't get it right, you lose.

We lose it.

No, no, we don't have to go because we can only bet one point.

No, but if we bet, there's no more

game 64, we'll be ahead of you.

Right, right, but if you lose at all,

you can't.

You only bet one point, right?

No matter what.

So you don't have to go.

This is the shit you wonder, like, should you just keep it?

So,

the only way we win is if we get it right and we get it wrong, and they get it wrong.

That's it.

That's right.

Once he's been the pattern, okay.

Right.

Okay, so we've betting it allowed and say whatever fucking answer he wants.

All right.

You guys are betting it all.

And so if you get it wrong, it's over.

That's right.

And if we get it right, they have to get it right.

Okay.

We're betting it all.

Woo!

Forwards.

Betting the farm.

Forwards, I'm not.

Chicken farm.

I'm heavy.

Backwards, I'm not.

What am I?

Forwards, I'm heavy.

Backwards, I'm not.

What am I?

So, wait, do you guys think he's going to get it or not?

Well, we have to bet money, right?

Oh, we didn't get it.

So, is it either he's going to get it or he's not going to get it?

Look at that fucking cocky look on him.

I was going to say, no.

I think he has it.

I think he has it.

I will say he just fooled me with that same look.

Yeah, fuck.

He's always got one look on his face.

Brian might be trying to fucking fuck his face.

He's not writing anything down.

Yeah.

But it's not a mathematical thing.

But he wrote down the moment one.

I know it.

I figured it out.

So

I'm just.

far behind.

Get him to the bottom.

What is it?

Do you think he knows it or not?

I think he does.

I think he does, too.

Okay, so we'll go with Doz for all the beans.

Forwards, I'm heavy, backwards, I'm not.

What am I?

Fuck, get him.

You still.

Think, think, goddammit.

Let's end like this.

Let it end with the anti-clinics.

Forwards, I'm heavy, backwards, I'm not.

Need an answer, brother.

It's over, brother.

Oh, my God.

Five.

Four.

Who knows it?

One.

It is like you have to hold it out to the last moment.

It's great.

Two.

Backwards.

One.

And

one.

Now he said it after.

I said it right before you said it.

Why would you even say the word tunt one second after the thing?

Was it not on the buzzer?

It seemed like it was on the buzzer.

You look like you planned for Bob Bell to come back.

You fucking freaks!

Wait, wait, time out.

Let's get a ruling on the buzzer.

It was on the buzzer.

What's the ruling on the buzzer?

No, he made it.

He did not get it.

They said it over here, then he said it.

But he did say the answer eventually.

Yeah, because I heard someone else say it, then he said it.

No, he said it first.

We win!

But he didn't get it.

You win!

What's the ruling by the judge?

What do you say?

Wait, hold on.

Let's get to be the guns.

Before you judge yourself, let me say this.

Let me say this.

We are betting on whether you get it or not.

The clock that was brought up was arbitrary in the moment.

You got it.

You're looking at this the wrong way.

It wasn't an official clock.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was nothing.

Which girl do you want to marry?

Because this is you can pick right now.

Shake and far.

But it doesn't matter.

She doesn't.

She can pass.

That's true.

So just be honest.

Did you do it before the buzzer?

Did you get it on the bus?

I did it after the buzzer, but before Sal said it.

It's a Salvador.

After the buzzer's holiday in a minute.

After the buzzer.

But the buzzer's arbitrary.

Team Q wins the get-em game.

Woo!

You know what?

You know what?

We're going to put our last 50-50 on the line.

Oh!

Get this game alive!

Oh!

We do one 49 in the line!

I don't have another, but I don't have to leave it.

I don't know you have one, you don't have one line.

I really don't have it.

I don't have another one if you get it all.

Google one more, come on.

All 49!

Yeah!

Fuck it!

Let's go!

Yes!

We are this!

But then I'll be a watch!

We gotta get a wedding call somewhere else!

Come on!

We want to get the fucking down in here!

It's gonna end up with a song.

Don't worry, I'll skip the homily.

Come on, look at how energized this crowd is.

Come on!

It's too long as it is.

Come on.

That's what she said.

But if we put it on the line and then we win, like think of the ending.

That's amazing.

Come on.

Decisive.

This is kind of

decisive win.

Anticlimatic.

This is unorthodox.

You're watching a former party.

I have one more question coming my way, and I want that question.

Getting married.

49%.

You can say no.

But wait, no.

If she wins, she gets to win.

Oh, yeah.

This was for all of us.

I'll tell you what, I'm going to even do it blind.

49%, get him, does it?

Okay.

All right.

49 points.

Get him doesn't know it.

Blind bet.

So then if they get it wrong, they win?

Blind bet.

No, it's zero.

Yeah, zero.

Yeah, zero to zero.

I thought you did that.

And it's a tie.

Zero to zero to four hours.

49 points, get him, doesn't know it.

All right, get him.

Woo!

A rooster

is on the roof.

It lays an egg on the roof.

What side of the roof does it fall down on?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

Zero points!

No!

Zero!

Here's zero points!

It's zero to zero!

At the four hours!

We have to tell them, Steve Dave, bitches!

At the four hours of play!

We're just wasting everybody's fucking time!

Woo!

Look at me, let's marry both these bitches together, British!

Yeah!

You can't give away lifetime supply.

That'll bankrupt us.

Do we kick it Mormon style and

marry him off to both?

Girls are here, right?

No, it wouldn't be legal.

They seem not into the internet.

All right, kiddo.

We need a tiebreaker.

We need a one-question tiebreaker.

All right.

It's not a riddle.

You look like a computer.

Paul looks like a computer hacker at the end of his rope.

Like Emilio SFS and possible firewalls just fucking bone.

Right before that elevator kills them.

Careful, plans.

Torn asunder.

To nothing.

All my rims are.

Alright.

This was a game I scrapped.

It was called Google, Giddem, or Gibberish.

Teams must answer.

Like when you do a Google search, the thing that, like, if you type in

why to worms, and then Google will give you like a couple of things.

So, a Google search, the Google answer could have been appear on sidewalks after it rains.

You know, I asked Giddem that question, he gave me the answer to the phrase.

So, you have to identify which was the Google and which was the get him answer.

Got it, got it.

This is it.

One question, take it all.

All right.

So, this was the phrase: Will a horse blank

step on a man,

bite, or ever learn to talk?

It's our turn?

Yeah.

So, you gotta identify which is the Google search, which is the get him answer, and which is the gibberish.

Will a horse blank?

I think bite?

Or gibberish and get him mutually?

Are we all gonna be talking about that?

Yeah, yeah, you can talk it over.

Of course, bite will be the Google answer because I'm thinking it's in alphabetical order.

Step on a man.

Okay.

I think his answer is probably ever learned to talk.

Right, ever learn to talk.

Because he would know if a horse could step on a man by now.

I know a donkey can step on someone's foot and break it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I think you're right, Chris.

All right, can you give me the Google answer, boys?

The Google answer would be bite, right?

Yes.

And the get him answer?

The get him answer would be

ever learn to talk.

Okay.

The correct, the Google,

the Google phrase match was step on a man.

But the giddem one was bite, and the fake one was ever learn to talk.

You got it 100% wrong.

Okay, boys, now you got one.

Get it right, it's over.

Really?

All right.

Why are there so many types

of blank?

Okay.

Why are there so many types of blank?

All right.

Pasta,

condoms, or hepatitis.

I'm going to say, well, we got what do we like?

Get them for pasta?

Yeah.

He was rolling bottles over there for cooking bacon or whatever he was doing.

I'd go pasta.

Condoms would probably come up as Google and hepatitis.

There aren't

fucking many.

Hep the fake.

What?

Google's probably pasta.

Oh, you don't think that's a woman saying get him answer?

I don't know.

Well, you've been right so far.

Don't fuck it up now.

Get him's not answering about condoms.

Okay, not 10 o'clock.

He goes in raw dog.

Hear that lady?

He goes.

And chickens.

She rolls her fundamental.

the only one that has nothing to do with sex is pasta.

So I think get them pasta, the internet's condoms, fake ones happen.

Okay.

The correct

matching of those.

Why are there so many types of Google said pasta?

Get him said condoms.

The fake one was happening.

So I got the fake one right?

You did get a fake one, right?

You got to get them all right.

I got more.

Oh, so we're just going to get a wall.

All right.

Oh, I thought we just had to get one right.

Okay.

I instantly regret what I just said.

No, wait a minute.

Didn't we say that?

You got to get a correct match.

Humans who eat blank.

Humans,

metal,

poop.

Humans who eat metal, humans who eat poop, humans who eat

humans.

I know what I feel.

I feel it.

Now, can I ask you a question?

Whose web browser are you going off last?

Because there are the twelve.

They do have like.

I had an au do this for me.

I was like an aunt who came up with this game he did all this research and i just had to look one of your aunts you know

my aunt sylvia all right what's the google search on that

would be like somebody likes probably humans humans who eat blankets

i think he said poop

i think he said poop

barely bring yourself

what was it metal humans who eat humans humans who eat metal you humans who eat poop i think you could say humans who eat metal i I know.

He probably swallowed a Zippo once and wanted to make sure I was going to come out on there.

Then again, I could also see Google.

A lot of people like humans who eat poop.

Come on, guys, it's teddy fuck.

I like the humans who eat humans.

We got hours ahead of us.

Human Google.

Metal is the bullshit.

Poop is get them.

Go for it.

Yeah, go for it.

Is that what we want to do, guys?

Yeah.

Get him zipping.

Where do you want to exchange

poop?

Metal and poop.

Metal.

Yeah, exchange.

Get us metal.

Every time we exchanged the last second, it was always fucked up.

She probably's got too much to say.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm not going to be able to talk to myself.

I like her herb.

No talking when T is on.

You got to.

Oh, no.

That is a thing.

This is why you change it.

She's back there.

That's how you break them in.

Tell me, is she looking at me?

She's looking at me.

Okay, do we want to reverse her?

Do we want to?

I don't fucking know.

Every time I do that,

okay, we'll go with our original then.

The Google answer is human.

Humans who eat human is correct for the Google.

So for the game,

it didn't say humans who eat metal or you humans who eat poop.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

This is so exciting.

Come on.

Metal.

We said.

Wait, how's that for the game?

Yeah, there's good.

Oh, so it's just sudden death.

Got it, got it.

So we went with

Giddam

said poop.

The correct answer was Giddam said metal.

Jag it out, boy.

Waltz like you're all fucking assholes.

Let's go.

Woo!

Let's do this.

So close to changing changing them up, too.

I can see it.

Let's let the bride just arm wrestle.

This is like fucking dances with wolves.

All right, what's ours?

Can a man blank.

Can a man blank get a yeast infection?

Satisfy a woman.

Impregnate a dog.

Oh, man.

This is a tough one.

These all have you written all over them.

Yeah.

No.

Google these infections.

Because I feel Google yeast.

Google a yeast infection.

Right.

Pregnate a dog, get him.

You think dog?

I don't think I mean satisfying women.

Alright, so

dog is Giddam and woman is fake.

Right, because

nobody would even go search that because we know it can't be done.

Okay, so

yeast is Google.

Google answer is getting a yeast infection?

Yes.

Correct.

Okay.

Was Giddam's answer satisfy a woman or pregnant a dog?

Pregnate a dog.

We said dog.

Satisfy a woman was the correct answer.

Continue to play.

Everybody!

That would make the fake answer, a man satisfying a woman, as being funny.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, well, that you have.

Guys!

No, it's not phony, it's just what came up on Google.

Oh, no, but isn't there a fake answer?

Yeah, I can rate it to fake answer.

It was

impregnated dog.

All right.

All right, all right, all right.

Oh, my God.

All right, Brian, for the win.

These were all the marbles.

People with blank.

People with blank.

Tails.

Deformed genitalia.

No rectum.

Wow.

Wow.

Tails and rectum.

What Google's got to be deformed genitalia?

Really?

People with blank.

Tails?

This is the best.

Deformed genitalia or no rectum.

Well, people definitely have tails.

People definitely have deformed genitalia.

People with tails.

I don't know if people have enormously long cock.

If you have a rectum, you're in trouble.

I think there's people who are no rectum, too.

Damn, near killed them.

What do you got?

What do we got?

Okay, Brian, quickly.

Come on, buddy.

Deformed genitalia, no rectum.

Say just drop it over there.

There's more tough shit.

Getting another punch in the stomach.

Based on what I feel he just, how he just reacted,

deformed genitalia.

I'd say he said no rectum.

But I don't want that weight on me.

I don't want that weight on me.

We're just going to go for it.

I mean, there's no fucking rhyme or reason to this.

People with blank, what was the Google?

Google was Tails.

Correct.

Oh my God.

Again, a 50-50 here.

Giddham's answer can be deformed genitalia or no rectum.

We went with.

We're sticking with this?

Whatever.

No rectum.

Get him said.

No rectum.

You won.

Let's get our winner over here to see what she's going to do.

We can do it.

Show to a mic.

We'll have a chicken from him and call me Ghost Pussy.

He's pissed.

You want to just hand her that mic?

Team Bride won, so now we await the winner's decision.

Do you, A, marry Giddam Steve Dave and take all the lifetime constraints,

or do you defer and have the and have your

company, your companion over there

take the uh, take Giddam's hand?

What are you going to do?

Um, well, I'm I'm I'm gonna marry Giddam.

If not for that, he would have been marrying 18.

All right.

Okay, so now we're going to now go into the announcement of the best man.

Oh.

Get him.

Who's going to be your best man?

I actually had to change it.

So it's not Mike anymore?

Because, you know, when I wanted to tell people who my best men were, I wanted to send them to say wow instead of who.

So I went with Brian Quinn.

Oh.

Whoa.

What?

What?

What?

Did you just?

Do you shot at your boss?

What?

Damn, I gave you a job?

Yeah, he's an ungrateful prick, Walt.

I'll give you a job that I'll be filling in the next couple years.

So you went with fame over substance.

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

It's too late to argue.

I don't give a fuck.

I'm honored.

Now,

the bride, you have to announce who will give you away tonight.

Out of all, tell him Steve Dave Town, who do you want to give you away?

Who me?

Yeah, take Brian.

So I can pick anybody.

You can take anybody.

Yeah, talking to the mic.

Well, you can't pick me because I'm already a best man.

Yeah, or me.

So I'm tired.

I can't pick you.

Talk into the market.

All right.

You can't pick Sal because he's the last one.

I can't pick Sal.

You can't pick Sal either.

I think I'm going to pick Bride to give me a word.

Brian Johnson.

All right.

You can't pick your first work, people.

No, I was always going going to pick.

You have one.

Let's get some words from the loser.

Or the winner, depending on how you look at it.

Second place is the first one.

Actually, yeah, the winner.

He has prizes, though, right, for Shelly?

Yes.

There are no prizes.

There's no second place in Tellum Steve Dave Town.

That's true.

All right, go ahead.

I would just like to say that I did not fucking approve of that last part.

I should have won.

I would have married him.

You cost her some sense of happiness.

You know what?

I don't know.

You know what?

For a consolation prize,

the next item that we release prior to this coming out, or post this coming out, you're going to get it.

Just one item, the next item that goes, tell them Steve Dave merchandise.

We don't know what it is.

It could be.

Could be signed nude photos of GitHub.

But you're going to get at least that for playing the game, okay?

Thank you.

Give her a hand.

All right.

What a good sport.

Relax.

This is what I'm supposed to exit here.

This isn't dent.

TDST.

Don't worry too much about it, buddy.

This is just music that's supposed to exit here.

Oh, it is?

Yeah.

This is definitely when it's done.

Okay, here we go.

Hello, friends and family.

We are here today to share with Gedim and Ashley

one of the most important and special days in their lives as today they become husband and wife.

We will begin with a reading entitled The Art of Marriage.

The little things are the big things.

It's never being too old to hold hands.

It's remembering to say I love you at least once a day.

It's never going to sleep angry.

It's at no time taking the other for granted.

The courtship should not end with the honeymoon.

It should continue through all the years.

It's having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world, forming a circle of love love that gathers in the whole family.

There's something funny.

I'm doing my job right now.

It's doing things for each other, not in the attitude of sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

Speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways, not looking for perfection in each other.

It's cultivating flexibility and patience, understanding, and a sense of humor.

It's having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It's giving each other an atmosphere.

It is having the capacity.

Sorry,

it's

giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It's finding room for things of the spirit, a common search for the good and the beautiful, establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all here for the celebration of the marriage of Gedham and Ashley.

I know they're thrilled to have you with them.

On behalf of everyone here, I'd like to say how thrilled we are to be attending.

And I'd like to say what everyone else is thinking at this moment.

What the fuck?

Now we will exchange vows, and I am told that you have written your own vows, so we will start.

Well, you're going to have to do it, so

we will start with get them.

I didn't mention that we make them everybody spot.

I have a closing vow.

I wrote a spot.

Closing vow.

Closing vow?

I don't know about this, but I'll say.

That's what I prepared.

Why don't you say the closing vow right now?

Well, it involves the ring.

Okay, just say a vow then.

Just say a vow.

Just look at Ashley.

and say what comes beautiful.

But it's based with the ring being there.

Alright, hold on, hold on.

All right, say that later.

Just look at Ashley right now and just say what comes to your mind and from your heart.

Frowd food.

Ashley.

Yeah.

I get him.

No, no, that's too.

That's later.

No, you don't do that.

What do you want me to say?

Ashley,

even though we just met,

I realize

now

that you are

the woman I've been waiting for

for my entire life.

It would appear

that I was alone.

Not by choice.

But the truth is,

I was just waiting for you.

And even though the circumstances are not ideal,

I'm going to make the best of them with you.

Give it to someone.

Aww.

Mary, would you please say you're bound?

Can you give me one second to compose my thoughts?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Try.

It's very emotional for me.

Okay.

My decade as an elementary school janitor has not prepared me for a day like this.

much more than you think, actually.

Um,

I mean, haven't you, haven't you been cleaning out messes for a long time?

Okay.

Like my job, there have been good days and bad.

Today I would consider a good day.

Um

I'm sorry.

People don't curse if you walk for a while.

Forgive me, God.

Hail Mary.

Forgive me, God.

Um, like I said, I wasn't prepared for this.

I didn't know I had to write my own vows.

But, um,

do I say I, Ashley?

No, we'll do that later.

Just say anything that comes to your mind and heart right now.

All right, my job has not prepared me for a day like this.

Yeah, but say what comes from your heart today.

That was.

Not your resume.

In five years, I've seen my zombie.

Oh, okay.

No.

Um.

Oh, God.

Look at him.

I'll hold you out.

Look him in the notes.

I am.

Now just say a nice little note that you might want to say to him.

Oh, my.

gosh.

I wish it was like.

Come on, he had someone feeding him the lime.

Thank you.

Thank you, Q, thank you.

Get him.

This might not have happened.

This might not have happened.

Like every little girl dreams.

Like every little girl dreams.

But looking at you and your beautiful eyes and that sexy top hat.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Something in me has shifted.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Sorry.

Something in me has shifted.

The laughter has stopped.

And the love has begun.

And the love has begun.

I'm as committed as you are.

To making this marriage work.

Excellent job.

Okay.

And now we will straight from Q's heart to the rings.

Thank you.

Speaking of Q, the rings, please.

Oh, yes.

Oh, man.

Will you please hand Gethem Ashley's ring?

Oh, yes.

I just want to give a quick shout out to Arthur for the great ring

that he provided for Getham.

It's beautiful.

Arthur, you did a great job.

Thank you.

That's an authentic coke with Don.

Okay.

Ashley, will you please extend your Would you quit fucking complaining?

You're married.

I'm quite complaining.

I don't think this is

on.

Okay, please repeat after me.

Please repeat after me.

Okay,

me,

no, no, get him, get him, we'll repeat after me.

Ashley, Ashley, I give you

what an asshole.

Know him,

Ashley,

Ashley,

I give you this ring to wear with love and joy.

As a ring has no ends, as a ring has no ends, neither shall my love for you, neither shall my love for you.

I choose to share share my life with you.

I choose to share my life with you this day

and forevermore.

And forevermore.

Okay, will you please give this away?

Watch.

I'm not so tough.

Do you, Ashley, take Get Him Steve Dave

to be your husband, your partner, and your best friend always and forever?

I do.

Okay.

Will you please give Ashley the ring?

He's got to take that glove off.

That's not the the thing.

Take your glove off.

Will you please place the ring over his finger?

Okay.

Okay, and repeat after me.

Get him, Steve Dave.

Get him, Steve Dave.

I give you this ring to wear with love and joy.

I give you this ring to wear with love and joy.

As a ring has no end.

As a ring has no end.

Neither shall my love for you.

Neither shall my love for you.

I choose to share my life with you.

I choose to share my life with you.

This day.

This day.

And forevermore.

And forevermore.

Do you

get him?

Get him, Steve, Dave.

Yes, I'm on my own.

Do you take Ashley to be your wife, your partner, and your best friend always and forever?

I do.

And now,

it is with great pleasure I say to Gedhem, Steve, Dave, and Ashley, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You now have the non-pressured option of kissing each other.

What do you want to do?

Was it off.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr.

and Mrs.

Get'em C Day!

Are you alright?

Music, now the music,

I'll have you guys slid out this way, arm and arm, please.

Arm and arm.

Give it up for the new couple, everybody.

This is he's gonna serenade his new bride

with a with a special um

It's you that I adore

You will always be my girl

You'll be a mother to my child and a child to my heart

We must never be apart

We must never be apart

Lovely girl, you're the beauty in my world

Without you, there aren't reasons left to find

And I'll pull your crooked teeth.

You'll be

perfect just like me.

You'll be a lover in my bed

and a gun to my head.

We must never be apart.

We must never be apart.

Lovely girl, you're the murderer in my world.

Dressing coffins for the souls I've left to die.

Drinking mercury to the mystery of all

that you should ever leave behind

in time.

She's so happy she doesn't even need the free Telese Dave merch, everybody.

That's it, it's over.

Congratulations on 300 episodes, guys.

Woo!

Cake, cake, cake.

Kate.

All right, so that's it.

You don't need to go home, but you can't stay here.

No, no, wait a minute.

Let me just say, is it still recording me?

I want to say thank you to the person who brought the cake.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

My name's Gillian.

Gillian?

Gillian with Jillian.

Gillian.

Gillian.

Jillian.

Gillian.

I want to thank to the person who brought down

the wedding dress.

He was from the Bronx or to Brooklyn.

I want to thank

the person who also sent in the wedding veil.

I have so many people who helped out.

Everybody, if I'm forgetting anybody, thanks for all the aunts who we couldn't have done this without them.

And I want to thank him, Steve Dave, too.

I want to thank you guys.

No, amazing.

Your ability to laugh at yourself, it's unparalleled.

Thank you.

Well, tell him, Steve Dave.

Hey, this is Walt.

Just wanted to give my little toast here to Giddem and a couple thank yous real quick.

When I first bounced the idea off of Gidem about doing an all-get'em-centric games edition of Tell Hem Steve Dave, Giddim agreed before I even finished a sentence.

When the Giddem games then became the basis for episode 300, with the finale of the episode calling for Gidem to get married, married.

Giddem again gleefully agreed without any hesitation.

So I want to thank you, Gidham, for always being a good sport.

I'm not sure what episode was your first appearance on Tellum Steve Dave, but I do know that from that first episode where we were introduced to you all the way through episode 300, you have shown an amazing sense of humor and ability to laugh at yourself that's to be admired.

I'd also have to say that if I knew from that first appearance that you'd become part of the TSD family, a co-worker at the Stash, and a friend, I'd be lying.

But with each time you sat in on Tellum Steve Dave, I was more and more energized by your upbeat and positive vibe and your quirky view on the world.

There's nothing that I've ever asked you to do that you haven't been up for.

From posing to be on the cover of Tellim Steve Dave's first album to singing sexually charged karaoke songs and now to getting married to a stranger, you've done it all with a smile and enthusiasm that shouldn't be taken for granted.

So I want to thank you.

I also have a few words for Mrs.

Giddem.

Thank you for playing and being a part of the Tellum Steve Dave Dave 300 and congratulations.

I think you made out all right.

I'd also like to give some proper thank yous to all the listeners who sent things in to help make the wedding one to remember forever.

Melissa, who sent in that top hat and gloves.

Lance who sent in the tux.

Joe Dan, who sent in his mother's wedding dress.

Mariah, who designed a breathtaking ant wedding dress.

Jillian for not only delicious wedding cakes, but a cake with a Zippo groom and bottle bride.

Arthur for designing Gidham's amazing wedding ring, Butterwinks for the killer ant cookies.

I'd also like to thank Zoom for all their support and generosity throughout the year.

I'd like to thank Contestant 2, Declan, Jay Sarge, Troy, Rob Bruce, Frank 5, Chris Ledondo, Mike, Ming, Sunday, Jeff, and Sal.

And of course, I want to thank Brian and Q for sticking with Tom, Steve, Dave, and taking us all the way through the 300.

How was that?

That was pretty good.

Pretty good?

What do you mean, pretty good?

What's going on?

I don't know.

I just, you know,

all the fun and everything.

I don't feel I did the wedding song justice.

You didn't think you performed it all that,

up to snuff all the time?

Yeah, maybe I was just tired or emotionally spent, but

I just wasn't there all the way.

And, you know, it's just,

it's kind of like nagging at the back of my neck.

Why don't you sing it to her now?

I guarantee you she's probably listening to this episode.

You think?

Yeah, why don't you belt it out now?

And I bet you Declan will put an amazing beat behind it.

You think Declan will do that?

For your wedding?

Yeah, that'll be his gift to you.

I imagine that's going to be that's all you can expect from Declan.

That is true.

That is true.

All right, let's hear it.

Okay.

Don't put that in.

It's you that I adore.

You will always be my home.

You'll be a mother to my child

and a child to my heart.

We must never be apart.

We must never be apart

Lovely girl, you're the beauty in my world

Without you, there aren't reasons left to find

And I'll pull all your crooked sea

You'll be perfect just like me

You'll be a lover in my bed

And a gun to my head

We must never be apart

We must never be apart

Lovely girl, you're the murderer in my world

Dressing coffins for the souls I've left to die

Drinking mercury

to the mystery of all that you should ever leave behind

in time

In you I see dirty

In you I count stars

In you I I feel so pretty.

In you, I taste God.

In you, I feel so hungry.

In you, I crash cars.

We must never be apart.

Drinking mercury

to the mystery of all that you should ever seek to find.

Lovely girl, you're the murderer in my world.

Dressing coffins for the souls I've left behind.

It's time

we must never be apart.

And you'll always be my whore.

Cause you're the one that I adore.

And I'll blow your crooked teeth.

You'll be perfect just like me.

In you, I feel so dirty.

In you, I crash cost.

And you are feel so pretty

And you are taste God

Oh,

oh,

oh,

oh

Oh,

oh,

oh

Is it as good as you remember it, Walt?

That was amazing.

And

your bride has to consider herself one lucky lady.

Oh, she is.

And I am one lucky guy.

Episode 400 is coming up.

It is.

Right around the corner.

The birth of your first child.

On audio.

Okay.

Get him unconcerned.

How long can you go like this?

Meaning.

Are you happy?

I wouldn't say I'm happy, happy.

I mean, I'd like to have maybe a significant other, but.

I think that's what changed.

You wouldn't be at the bottle dump no more.

I probably wouldn't be at the flea market all the time than I am either.

Yeah, yeah, I think I don't know why you just don't go prostitution.

13%.

Look, I like the podcast too, but one of the only could actually marry this dude, right?

Bring his machine

to the bottle dump.

You'll come down to

Yo, can you smell the romance?

Wait, that ain't what do it.

That's a smell of horses, Polly Denton light of food.

300, this is quite a testy history.

Declan, can you throw the bridal shower at Disney?

They podcast your wedding if you let them.

Then sell it on Bamcamp as this marriage of Gidem.

Ladies, who lined up for this bro race?

Where all the bachelorettes wanna see?

Get em's woe face.

Who's wet when the goals get em' pull?

Who forgets his mandela affects a rash hole?

I don't mean to be mean or blunt or stump ya, but how you gonna let this bottle dump jump hump ya?

And get him steeped, Dave, what is wrong with you?

You should be knee-deep and booky just by knowing Q.

Get to know a woman, get him, listen to them, trust them.

You're not supposed to whisper to them?

I'm not supposed to really touch them.

To this common ground,

bringing my shady

to the bottom.

Think of how the ceremony'd go.

Is that a trunk club tux?

No, he found it in a limo.

And if you want, just wait for his medical facts.

He's been dosed with radiation and a vault full of anthrax.

I don't know if his cock be bulging, but his feet are huge and his ankles swollen.

Go forget him as your groom, no doubt, if you're down to pound, arthritic gout.

Till death do you part.

Are you sure, yo?

Shit, how far you wanna take that vow, though?

Suicide by cop to avoid getting laid when you make his dad take it to the PR parade.

Real talk, girl, can you see okay?

If you're not blind, your next boyfriend will be one day.

No disrespect, but should this marriage fail?

Once you go get him, your next man reads brail.

Why the fuck do y'all treat him so well?

This complete stranger who stole your URL?

You made a cult character out of a thief, and now you're finding him bribes and you're buying him teeth.

By now, hell get him's what the future will preach.

When the grid goes down, but you're found in Seal Beach.

heal me when the break goes down, but you've found it sealed beach.

Okay,

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