The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89

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Hello, everybody.

Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.

This is January.

January 13th.

That's a good...

Isn't that.

Is that a day?

What is that day?

Seven day, a week after January 6th.

Okay, but is it like a holist?

Isn't January 13th like a special day?

That's somebody's birthday.

Yeah.

I think it's Beyonce's birthday.

Is that Beyoncé's birthday?

I think so.

Joining us today is

Mandel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mandel just.

Just Mandel, brother.

Oh, you don't have a last name?

Yeah, just going artist with it.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, full-blown man.

Was there like another Mandel?

And so you didn't want to know.

Mandel's a Jewish name, though.

Really?

Yeah.

That's like a Hasid name.

Interesting, because it's really the Mandel man.

I really am the Mandel man, but then people find that too ridiculous, so it just became Mandel.

What's Mandelman?

I'm just a Mandel man.

But, like, what does that mean?

Oh, Mandel means man's sandal.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But is that any different than, like, what kind of, what is a man's sandal?

Like, the clothes-toe sandal that, like, somebody, like, will barbecue in.

Oh, like a slipper?

No, but it's it.

No, you can go sling back or slide in with it.

Like a croc?

Kind of, more leather.

More like a Stacey Adams, like, uh, leather-type shoe.

Okay.

You get what I'm saying?

Like something that you would wear.

You're wearing forces.

Yeah, but I mean, as artists, we ever changing.

Got it.

That's a good point.

Are you going to change your niggas?

You're always changing, bro.

To force.

That's hard.

Yeah, you should make a mando force.

I want to do a mando with an air bubble in it, like the Air Max.

Okay.

Not like the Reebok pump.

Nah,

you don't want to, man.

The way my feet swell up, I can't, I need all the room in the middle as I can have, bro.

They're called Type 2s.

Air Force Type 2s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That beats.

Air Force gets, bro.

For sure.

I came in.

Who's Air Force 2?

That's the vice president's plan.

That's also a shoe as well.

Yeah.

They had the Air Force 1,

they came up with the Air Force 2s around like maybe 2011-10.

And they were cheaper?

They were like shittier?

Nah, they tried to like

increase the sale.

You know what I'm saying?

But people weren't going for real.

Yeah.

There was no one waiting in line for a drop.

Nah.

Have you ever waited in line for a drop?

Nah, I've never been that cool, bro.

I see people all around New York doing that all the time.

So you're an Atlanta comic?

I'm from Atlanta.

You're from Atlanta.

You're in town doing some spots.

Doing some shows, man.

Just trying to be my best self.

But I don't think I could move here, man.

It's not built for fat people.

That's true.

Yeah, it is true.

The people are smaller.

They really use in every crack and crevice.

I kind of think the obesity problem in America is because we have so much space.

Because you go to Europe and it's all small.

Like, it's not, if you got fat there, you would get stuck.

And like in between your mailbox and your neighbors.

Oh, I've been getting stuck for sure.

You're correct, bro.

I can't fit in a fiat also in Europe.

Also, we got rid of phone booths.

yeah you got to get you got to stuff it all in I was at my homeboy crib

this one I knew I couldn't stay here I was at my homeboy crib last time

and I had uh the toilet seats aren't built for the amount of torque I'm gonna put on Atlanta style toilet seats yeah bro tell us about the toilet seats in Atlanta they I mean they just built they they they they they built for real bodies man I mean like I had got up off that toilet seat at my homeboy crib.

It came with me.

It shifted.

But it was wobbly when I got on there.

So you had to have your own balance.

That's also, that's like the easiest thing to fix.

Yeah, you can just do it.

When you go into somebody's house and they have a loose toilet seat, it's like.

You're screwing the

New York style.

You're missing some kind of mat.

Not my house.

For real?

Yours title.

I got, when I moved into my apartment, I immediately, I took that fucking plastic shit, the landlord had off there.

I went and I got myself a nice wood toilet seat.

That was hard, bro.

That's a nice look.

And I heat it up.

What if you catch it?

I got a tank of MAP gas.

Fire.

Sitting next to the toilet, and before I'd take a dump, I'd just...

That's what.

You ever go to a nice cocktail bar?

Yeah.

When they make a drink that requires fire?

Yeah.

That's sort of the setup.

I throw the toilet paper over my shoulder, and then I fucking

light up the toilet paper.

Yeah, for sure.

I ain't going to lie, bro.

Like, I'm not.

I spin the can in the air and throw it in the back.

Halftime, I shit all over myself yeah that's a good idea bro i'm wasting like fucking eight thousand

thousand dollars a week on tuxedos yeah yeah do my cocktail bar bathroom or something yeah you're like a flare bartender i ain't gonna lie bro so

but i'm not making this up i sat on bro toilet and it came with me the seat got stuck to you like when i when i got up the toilet came the toilet seat came with me now that's obviously the toilet seat was loose but that's more of it was a plastic seat wasn't it plastic it came up with me so the plastic it chemically bonds you because we we're filled with micro plastic.

I don't know if it was a suction thing or what plastic.

It was your pair asset, right?

It couldn't have been your parents.

It's a chemical.

I had to order him another one on Uber Eats.

You got it.

I ordered one on Uber Eats.

Uber Shits.

No, I'm for real.

I ordered it from Home Depot.

Home Depot right now.

I ordered Settlers of Catan the other day, the board game on Uber Eats.

Yeah.

You can get Target.

Target delivers on Uber Eats.

They used to have like Prime Now.

You remember that?

Yeah, I remember that.

That shit was awesome.

Yeah.

It'd be like fucking 10 p.m.

And I was like, I'm going to play Luigi's Mansion.

Yeah,

delivery.

Yeah.

Sitting at home.

What's the loudest thing you order on Uber Eats?

I've never used Uber Eats.

I thought it was for food.

Oh, sorry.

I lied.

I got it on DoorDash.

Actually, I shouldn't have lied to you.

I use Seamless when I do food delivery.

Oh, yeah.

I was ordering from the same chicken spot like fucking like three nights a week.

Yeah.

Which spot?

That Peruvian?

No, this is just called the Chicken Stop or something.

I have no idea.

But you get like a fucking, you get a shit ton of chicken breasts and a couple of drumsticks.

It's pretty.

That's the thing about New York, man.

Y'all be having them foods, man.

There's also, there's a Japanese place I found on Seamless that I think there's like a mistake on their menu.

Yeah.

And they have, you know, they're like, they're called like Dragon Boats or something.

It's like 72 pieces of sushi.

And it's like $35.

So even with tip and like everything, it's like I pay like $45

to get

like a Super Bowl party amount.

Yeah, an insane amount.

Now they're red, they're a la card shit.

Like if you got any one of those individual roles, they're like $12 each.

But for whatever reason, there's this thing.

So it's like, if I want sushi, I get like a sushi for the fucking week.

See, and that's the thing.

That's the type of stuff that a person will tell you and try to convince you to move.

I'm not trying to convince you.

No, I'm just saying.

I'm telling you something good about my life.

Is that something that you come here?

You'll be ordering it four times a day.

They're like, what the hell is going on?

Why are we losing all this goddamn money?

Yeah.

Stay in Atlanta.

They make the shoe.

My advice to you is make the slippers, I told you.

Nah, I gotta be sling back.

You gotta be sling back.

Four weeks, you'll be on Shark Tank.

You'll be one of the guys on Shark Tank.

Because here, y'all be like.

There'll be a young man that comes on and he says it's a toilet seat that doesn't get stuck to your ass.

And the other sharks are like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

And you're like, $80 billion.

Yeah, bro.

Thank you, Mr.

Wonderful.

I think you got a plan, bro.

I mean, I just think they be on some like, like, I feel like y'all big on the like, it's a spot down the street with Kazakhstan hot dogs, you know.

Yeah, we say that kind of stuff all the time, actually.

And it's just like, okay, bro, like,

that's not worth more rent.

Yeah, but you have to do it for girls.

If they want to go to Queens for a Kazakh hot dog, you got to be like, yeah, that sounds like an adventure.

Yeah, yeah.

But you're just...

Where y'all be finding this stuff?

Sometimes Instagram reels.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't really find it.

I don't know about it.

I've never heard of Kazakhstan.

That's like a thing that.

Well, it's not a real thing, but yeah.

There's news.

I'm like South Brooklyn.

I have a life hack-free unlimited sushi.

I'm like living.

He doesn't have to leave.

But

I have to impress a woman.

For real?

Yeah, well, the nice thing is Queens is, it's technically the most diverse place in the world.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, they're like,

you can go down a city block and there's like three different languages being spoken.

There's like a...

What are you doing?

Oh, my pet.

I mean, distracted.

What is that?

He's got little candies in there.

Little Reese's mini cups that he's he drinks his Reese's.

He's drinking some Reese's.

What do you have in here?

Oh, good, man.

Just some lemons, man.

You go around with slices of lemon in a zip hook?

That's just as funny as a Reese's.

Are you doing a physical combo?

It's a Southern.

Man, is that a thing about you?

I drink a lot of water, bro.

So I'm just trying to get a lot of money.

William Flamethrower.

I be drinking a lot of water, so I bring my own lemon sometimes just because people don't have it.

And Southern hospitality.

My grandfather, he got a girlfriend

after my grandmother died.

Yeah.

And she sent me to go get her water.

She sent me back because it didn't have lemon in it.

And I was like, Rebecca, you're a bitch.

I hate it.

You're not my real grandma.

You should get a holster with a crazy straw.

Man, that would be a good one.

That'd be sick.

I just like to hydrate, man.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

I like to hydrate a little, but you want something.

Why are you so anti-New York?

You're telling us that.

I'm not anti-New York.

I like New York.

I just think that you do well here.

Can I ask you, is this your Evian water?

Yeah, it is me as well.

Do you like Evian?

Evian was like the original.

How'd you do like that ship in the

bottle?

He built it.

How did you grew the lemons in there and then cut the water?

That looks too big to get in.

Y'all asking some skills now, bro.

I feel like you have very particular things about you that you can now list on our podcast and

we can enjoy.

I'm going to be honest with y'all, bro.

What are your most strange ticks?

Where I was going with that is it was like the first one and everyone's like, oh, wow, a bottle of water, great.

And then, you know, Aquafina came out, and Dasani, and all the other other things.

Dasani twisted.

Well, it's McDonald's.

There's a viscosity to Evian that I don't particularly care for.

It's a thick water.

Evian is one of the best ones.

It's like drinking like baby.

It's thick water.

Ah, you got it twisted.

So Dasani is actually flat sprite.

I went to the Coca-Cola factory and I found out it's the flat sprite

for sale.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it's still, I mean, that's just.

You like Dasani?

That's not the flat sprite.

It's the water that goes into making the soda.

Nah, you can't.

It's an ingredient.

You went to go to the factory, bro.

I'm going to show you the...

Well, of course, I didn't go to the factory.

I just understand on principle that Sprite needs water.

But hear him out.

He went to the factory.

So check this out.

But you know what Dasani is for real?

Water.

So, yeah, but like, it's not from nowhere.

So, like, Dasani is wherever you at,

they take that water

and then they put rocks in it.

They sent it to Neil deGrasse Tyson.

He does reverse osmosis on it.

What do they do with the rocks?

They put it in there.

But not

they run it through.

Part of the, oh, yeah, like purification.

It's purified water.

Nah, like

it's a basket of rocks.

They pour the water in there and they let it drizzle into the bottle.

Really?

Yeah, bro.

It's too bad.

That's what Britta is.

You ever open up one of those filters?

Yeah, it just looks like a little rock and stuff in it.

Yeah.

What's your favorite bottle of water?

Probably the Essentia.

no but that's purified crap dude i'm spring boy essentia that's your favorite well i mean i just drink tap water oh there was a period i drink i drink probably a gallon and a half of tap water a day really good tap water is good in new york not trying to sell you i drink it even when i'm on the road you say good as an weekend i stayed an extended stay recently and i was just drinking out of the faucet i was putting my head under the faucet and drinking out of it that's hard bro i couldn't do it That's the one thing I can't a hose.

I love a good hose.

You see somebody didn't lock their shit up outside of their house?

Bro,

I love this shit.

That's it.

Especially right now in LA, I'll be going crazy.

Free hose.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People are fucking all their abandoned properties.

I'm running up.

I'm grabbing the hose.

I can't get caught on fire because I'm filled with water.

Yeah.

It's true.

That's hard, bro.

I think, I mean, bro, I think like I ain't drunk out of a hose since I was like seven.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

You don't want to, because it's, you don't want to even be caught because someone might

now be like, bro, this catch is a hole.

Yeah.

Where I'm confused.

If someone sees you drink out of a hose, they might be like, you know, call you gay for it or something.

Do gay people do that?

They drink out of hose?

No, because the hose is technically like a

penis, like a tubular.

No, it's not.

It's a hoe.

It's a garden hose.

The people call their cock.

I got their hose sometimes.

Man.

See, I'm from a different place, bro.

I've never heard of that.

You're in the deep south.

That's what L.A.

is good for.

You'll find some of those people.

They be doing it.

They got press kits.

Yeah.

You'll have a deck of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love words like that.

Deck.

Yeah.

IP.

IP is good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Shout out.

Insane Clown Posse.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Wait, how'd you fit those lemons in that bottle, though?

That's crazy.

And this one, man.

It looks like they're too big.

It's an art form, man.

You got to be one with the bottle.

That's the problem.

Y'all trying to force the bottle to do stuff instead of allowing the bottle to be what it is.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah, that makes sense.

You got to redefine yourself around it.

Yeah, I guess I've just never tried that.

So I don't know.

I've been able to put it on the bottom.

I've been able to put like lemon wedges into a beer.

So I don't.

You got a bottle around here?

I got more lemons if you want.

Oh, there's a bottle right there.

But I'm still drinking out of this.

I can take this down.

I don't really like lemons in my water.

I like straight water, yeah.

You like it straight up and down.

I don't like an infused water or anything.

Yeah, just

water.

I need to hydrate.

I can feel myself leaking all the time.

Yeah.

And I want to replace

what's leaking out of me.

That's real.

What you be leaking?

Sweat, piss.

That's hard, bruh.

Yeah.

I be wanting to sweat so bad, I don't piss spire like that.

Really?

Well, you're probably adapted.

We're just living in Atlanta.

Nah, I got thyroid issue.

Oh, you do?

Is that you drink a lot of water because of it?

Nah, I think I just drink a lot of water on some like.

It's quite healthy to do.

Yeah, it just made me feel like I'm doing something healthy.

Yeah.

I feel that way too when I'm drinking water.

Like I'm doing like I'm a good boy.

I feel like

I'm being a good boy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had I was about to say I could well I spend probably two and a half hours a day in a sauna.

Really?

I take multiple sauna trips sometimes up to five hours.

So you like a health dude.

No, I just like the sauna.

Okay.

I like the heat.

I'm like a lizard.

Would you be in the sauna for me?

I was just in the sauna before this started.

That's where I came from.

Really?

He takes business meetings with the Japanese in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you be, and so does sauna smell weird?

Um, no, it smells like cedar.

Really?

Yeah.

The dry sauna is like has like wood paneling and stuff.

It's quite nice.

I've never been to sauna before.

Oh, really?

You should come free.

I should have been sauna.

This was, it was new to me.

I didn't, until like last year, I never really.

Because I would go in, I would go to the gym and I would go in for like 30 seconds.

I'm like, Jesus Christ.

How the fuck do you do this?

And then I went, like, I started forcing myself.

So I'd do like three minutes and then four minutes.

And my heart rate would get all fucked up and I'd feel faint.

And then after a while, like, you just get, you know, more and more used to it.

Now I can sit.

Now I can sit in there for 45 minutes.

And you feel great after.

Really?

Yeah.

Clears your head of everything.

I just can't do no belly reveal like that in front of folks.

Do you not take your shirt off at the pool?

No.

I might put on more clothes, honestly.

Really?

I had a friend like that with a chest concavity.

Yeah.

And he also had to keep his his shirt on when we were kids.

I'm going tuxedo swam with it.

Really?

Full of tux.

Yeah, you got to not care about that shit.

That's what the sauna is good for.

It's popping the shirt.

Just going in there,

you're like, damn, I look like fucking shit and I don't care.

Yeah.

You know, it's dark.

What does it matter?

Yeah, and you also see like an old fat Russian man that has a worse body than you.

What's the small talk in there?

What's the small talk?

Yeah, like, what are y'all talking about?

Me, honestly,

it's about other saunas.

I've gotten into, like, nine conversations with guys in saunas.

About building your own?

Other saunas that we've been to, like, around the country.

Like, oh, that's a great sauna.

You've been to that gym?

That's an amazing jungle.

So that's the hobby?

Just building a sauna?

Yeah, you talk.

Yeah, because that's, yeah, you just talk about saunas.

Max is building one in his backyard right now, and he's been going on an R-slash

sauna.

And there's like a...

There's a guy who's, I think he's always been a mystery, but he wrote the book on it.

And

to all these guys that do diy saunas he's like their uh he's the goat in fucking finland they have like a world series of sauna and it's insane because they crank the heat up to like 220 degrees and then the champions can they can only go in there for like five minutes at a time because it's so hot and then they come out with like third-degree burns on their faces because like the air they're exhaling is burning their nose and their lips and stuff and uh what do they get like 200 or something i think they win a sauna

Yeah, they had to, like, a couple of years ago, they had to stop it because

somebody died.

Yeah, some guy got pretty close to dying or he died or something.

Yeah, it's crazy.

You look at the picture of these guys coming out and they just have like blisters all over their face.

They're like, I did it.

I won the sauna.

I win the win.

You know, and it's like

just get into cuckoo clocks, man.

I don't understand.

You got other options.

What the word sauna mean?

Like, what language is that?

I think it's Finnish.

And it translates to

sauna.

Hot rooms.

Well, it translates to sauna.

Wait, so sauna ain't no language.

It doesn't translate.

Yeah, so it doesn't translate to anything because we just use their word.

You know what I mean?

But I'm saying, sauna, the root of it got to be something like hot room.

The etymology is something that's not.

Like they didn't look at it, they didn't create that like sauna.

Yeah, I think they did.

For real?

In the same way that it's like, you know, I mean, I'm trying to think, what's an American or a thing in English that doesn't have like a

what does Trump translate to?

But like, dumbbell makes sense.

Like, it's

a dumbbell?

Yeah.

But they have a name for that in other languages.

If in Turkey, they called it a dumbbell.

Like, in the Turkish language, they were like,

dumbbell.

Have you heard it?

What language is this again?

Turkish.

Turkish.

Yeah.

And they said dumbbell, they wouldn't be like, well, what does dumbbell mean in English?

That doesn't mean, or what does that translate to in Turkish?

And they're like, it doesn't translate.

We just call it the word it's supposed to be.

He's really smart, dude.

No, that makes sense.

That makes up what you're saying, man.

Like, sneaker, that's another one where you get the root in it.

That is a funny word, actually.

Sneaker.

Yeah.

Sneaker.

Sneakers now are global, though.

Everybody says sneakers.

Nobody says.

Yeah, nobody says sneakers.

They say trainers.

They don't say tennis shoes anymore.

They say trainers in the UK.

I like that better.

Trainers?

Trainers.

I like that better.

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Pretty sad you can't raise a tree.

Elaborate.

Well, you know, if you had a seed, right, and you're like, I'm going to plant a tree in my backyard, you'll be dead before the time.

Yes.

Yeah.

You know, you can't be like,

that's my son.

But if you get buried underneath it, then you become

part of the.

You can't get buried underneath it.

They are doing that.

You could become part of the skill.

You can get buried and then they can put a seed on top of you, but you're already dead at that point.

No, I'm saying afterwards.

What?

That's a real thing y'all y'all see them caskets where they put you in an egg now

and then they grow it's an egg that they fertilize and a tree grow on top of you you like become a part of the tree interesting that sounds finished it's a new eco-friendly thing you're doing i want them to put my body in the sauna

you probably won't draw out you'll probably be you'll probably be regular the whole time i look like no surrounding at the end

when he gets too much pussy and he dies at the end of the movie is that what that movie's about guys Guys, every New Year we set all sorts of big goals, but only 8% of people will stick with their resolutions all year long.

What are your New Year's resolutions?

Shoot, man.

Take that Ozempic, man.

Are you getting it?

You're not going to be too big for New York then.

Bro, I'm about to put it in a bottle of water, shake it up like Crystal Light.

Really?

Yeah.

You're in a double-blind.

Have you tried Crystal Light first before the Ozempic?

Oh, I've had plenty of Crystal Light in my life.

Yeah, it's great.

It's good.

It's finished.

I was fat when I was a kid, and when Crystal Light came out, or maybe I just discovered it, I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

The pink lemonade crap.

Are you insane?

This is delicious.

It's how I felt when I found that sushi deal.

You know, I'm like, this is like, this is unreal that this exists.

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to get that fresh start feeling.

That is a nice feeling when you feel like you have a fresh start.

You're going to feel like that when you leave Atlanta.

Yeah, I'm going to feel like that.

Yeah.

I will say this.

Can I say something?

Yeah.

Oh, my bad.

You're done.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

I realize I disconnect on the sushi thing.

I've never been to a sushi place.

Oh, you've never had it?

So I had no frame of reference.

I've had it before, but I've never been to a sushi place.

The frame of reference is like this.

Imagine if you found out you could get like a 20-piece chicken McNugget on Seamless for a dollar.

That's a good deal.

Yeah.

And then it was like the restaurant just didn't know.

Like it was one McDonald's that like fucked something up on Seamless.

Yeah.

But if you bought it six pieces at a time, it would be like $25.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Gotcha.

That's what it's good.

Yeah.

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Thank you so much, guys.

You know, I recently got like a grandpa razor.

Okay.

Like a straight razor?

No, no, no.

Like

a rotary

razor.

Electric?

Yeah, electric razor.

Does it work well?

It's so nice, dude.

Really?

Do you feel like you're like going to your Wall Street job?

Well, I haven't had my phases never because I use those like Phillips one blades for the last like

phase.

It's not a closed shave at all, but it's so easy.

And then this is like, my phase hasn't been as smooth since I went from using disposables.

I remember my dad had one of those when he was driving us to school.

Yeah.

And he'd like to do it while he was driving.

I was like, I can't wait to see it.

Yeah, it's a very 90s man.

90s boomer.

90s boomer man thing.

Yeah.

And I was like, how does it even work?

No, I love shaving in the morning now.

I get on, I put my cream on, and I fucking shave.

so sad clean the thing out put it back on the charger i've never shaved in my life really really what do you just use scissors yeah like i might get it trimmed but i ain't never like straight up like raise it a face yeah yeah do you have any plans for when you become like a comedy superstar successfully i i don't think that ever happened for me bro i'm a professor i see it i see it i'm telling you professional feature i want to be i know how to pick them i'm telling you i want to be the best feature of all time bro no come on you gotta think some people got we don't know our roles sometimes One thing I noticed, when this light go to different cameras, that means that's the camera.

Yeah, that's active.

Yeah, so now it's on the wide right now.

So all three of us are in the shop.

Now me?

Oh, it's following me.

Now you.

Now you and Nick.

Beautiful.

Nah, man.

You can try being a director, so that's one, two, and three.

So you say, like, now to one?

Oh, no, you do it.

Oh, yeah.

Now to one.

Well, I just realized what I was doing in my head doesn't make sense because whatever number I say, he just go press it.

Yeah, that's what I was telling you.

But I was trying to beat him, but

it's not confusing.

You're like someone.

You're like someone in the trailer, like the

control.

Have you ever seen a dot from a laser pointer and chased it all around?

Yeah.

It's kind of a similar thing.

Yeah.

Not a four.

There's no four.

I know.

It was close.

That was funny, though.

That's funny.

You got it.

Hey, man, thank you all so much, man.

He went to three.

You got him.

Okay.

Yeah.

Four cuts to black.

Did he make that up today?

No.

Oh, okay.

Okay, cool.

No, but nah, man.

I'm just chilling, bro.

I'm just happy to be working, bro.

Like, this junk is,

this is not a real job, bro.

How long have you been doing stand-ups?

About nine years.

And you started in college?

No,

I started right after college.

Now I care about the L.A.

fires because I heard Mel Gibson's house burned down.

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

Now it's finally affecting me, personally.

Yeah, yeah.

When they told me Billy Crystal's house, I didn't know.

That man's a monster.

Yeah.

Professional.

Disgusting.

He's made a billion dollars scaring children.

I don't know who Billy Crystal is.

He's a monster.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

He's a worse sense of the word.

But I will say this, though.

I do think that.

Wasn't he the, was he the person from

Halloween?

Yes.

Yeah.

Jason?

Jason.

Billy Crystal was?

Yeah, he's in Jason.

He was in Monsters Inc., which that's Halloween.

Okay, I do know who Billy Kristry.

Oh, yeah, he's the little monster from Monsters Inc.

The green one.

Oh, voice of the green one.

He had a run, though.

That's a good move.

He's also like

one of the Clippers celebrity fans.

He's always been a, you know, you know how like Jackie Nicholson.

That's a choice to make.

Jack Nicholson was Lakers.

He was like the Clippers one.

That's a very like, that's a mindset.

Him and Frankie Muniz from Malcolm in the Middle were the two celebrity Clippers fans.

I feel like that's a wise decision.

And And now, Vince Staples, also, I think, is a Clippers fans.

It's crazy to have a basketball team named after like obsessive YouTube guys.

That's good.

That's true.

The mascot comes out.

He's that Australian dude.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Shine Heights, Andrew.

Andrew Schultz, once again.

You can tell from

me.

Look at the way he's looking at Andrew.

And don't get me started on Bobby Lee.

Bobby Lee

is Adolf Hitler.

He's basically

an active homosexual with stage three HIV.

And now he's got a basketball team.

Good for him.

Yeah.

Now he opened a new stadium in Inglewood.

Oh, they got a new spot?

The Clippers have a new stadium.

That's a good idea, bro.

Yeah, they shouldn't be.

They would never be their place.

I hate the...

They should go away.

I'm a Lakers fan.

But I'm saying it would never be a time where people would be coming to that place for the Clippers over the Lakers, bro.

Yeah, I know.

just unwild.

They should go away forever.

But they have that Steve Ballmer is their owner, the guy from Microsoft.

The guy from like, yeah, that video in the 90s where he's like sweating and he's like, Windows 95, Windows 95.

That guy owns the Clippers.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

What is a Clipper?

It's a boat.

Yeah.

Gotcha.

It's a team named after a boat.

They used to be the San Diego Clippers, I believe, before they moved to LA.

Yeah, yeah.

LA be taking some teams, bro.

I rewatched Wally recently.

Was it good?

Amazing.

Yeah, it's a really good movie.

Wally's so good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like that movie, Coco.

Have you seen that one?

That one's good, too.

I watched it on a plane and I screamed, cried.

I was like,

but my mom was sick.

She had cancer, so I was like watching All the Way to See Her.

And it's a movie about teaching kids about what dying is, and they do it in the nicest way.

Why would you choose to watch that?

I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was the Mexico Pixar.

I didn't know that it was.

You're making everyone else on the plane uncomfortable.

I wasn't, I didn't actually scream.

I was like, fucking Banshee Zavisherin or something.

Don't watch the fucking picture.

That would remind me of my.

Listen,

I didn't know.

I thought it was the Mexico-style Pixar.

I didn't know what that was about.

Watch the Christopher Reeves.

What it's about, and they tell kids this, it's really nice.

They say,

if people die, you should keep loving them.

How nice is that?

And people will like, in the land of the dead, they keep existing as long as people still remember them.

And so that's why you need to remember people.

It's very nice to tell kids that about the worst thing ever, you know?

Yeah.

But the thing about it is, eventually we all go be forgot.

Not Adolph Hitler.

At some point he will, too.

I don't know.

Everybody will.

With things going on right now, I guarantee you that he will be a footnote.

At some point.

What?

The L.A.

Fire is going to be bigger than Adolph Hiller?

Probably.

No way.

Trump.

Trump is going to be bigger than Hitler, dude.

He's going to be bigger.

Bro, it's it's nothing that we remember from.

He's not going to beat the GOAT.

I don't know, man.

I'm worried about that.

The only cat we know from

like

Jesus' time, it's like 30 people, bro.

We know Jesus.

And then Pontius Pilate.

We know his mom.

The mom, the dad, God.

God.

But that's what I'm saying.

Like.

The devil.

Who was they Omarion?

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah.

No, I don't understand what you're saying.

Yeah.

But my question is: who is O'Marion?

He was from the band Boys of the 22nd.

B2K, B2K, played Boys of the 24th.

He was like Roger on Sister, Sister.

No, he was a.

No, that's Marcus Houston.

Yeah, and that guy's mentally ill now.

Is he crazy now?

He wore a clear suit one time.

A clear suit.

You can see his penis?

No, he had drawers on, but it was like the suit was see-through.

That's pretty cool.

That's like something Elliot Page would do.

And I think it would go a little something

like this.

Elliot, come on out.

Come on, Elliot.

Lisa, put some of those lemons on the ground.

We're going to lure Elliot Page out of this.

I got some homes.

He loves lemons.

We know.

Thank him out of the way.

That is so,

that is such a funny thing.

Whatever that is, is so funny.

You're literally not in your, you're like visiting New York.

Yeah.

So you have to go to a lemon place and get lemons and a Ziploc place and get Ziplocs.

Lemons are not that exclusive, bro.

I'm just saying that like

you're not like picking them up at the apartment like where you live, right?

Nah, but like...

But you're like on vacation.

You're like, I gotta, like, this is part of like anytime, you know, like...

You have a trade on Joe's blocker.

You have this on you at all times?

But if you cut up two of them, you straight for like two, three days.

I'm not saying it's just impossible, but what I'm saying is it's deliberate, right?

It's not like you're at home and you got lemons and you're like, oh, you know, like for my water later today.

I'm just saying that that's something that's

you're a principled man.

I'm praising you.

Let me tell you something.

Cut up two of them boys.

Put them in that bag.

Man, two, three days you straight.

He's at eight slices?

Yeah.

But

unless you go triangular with them, then you got some more.

you go, but once you hit day five and six, that's when you're getting too loose because the bag don't have a lot of air flowing through it.

So you get a little molded.

Can I ask you a question?

There was an Atlanta fast food chain that they just had opened around like near my crib like a like a year ago.

What's it called?

The slutty vegan.

Okay.

So I went in there and they were like,

I think it's just a little bit much the way they talk to the customers.

They should have called that place the gay man.

Yeah.

They're like, have you been here before?

I said, No.

And they said, We've got a virgin.

And then everyone in the kitchen says, like, virgin.

And it's just like they make the staff do this to everyone.

It's a little bit, it's a little bit much.

They be making people call, they be calling

people.

It's a big deal in Atlanta.

They're like, you're a slut.

People go.

People go.

People go for sure.

They call you a slut or a virgin.

Have you been there before?

Nah.

It's not.

It's not.

Nah, I never, I'm not no vegan.

I was vegan for about, I was vegan for two years back in like 2010, 2000, to 2012.

What got you involved in that?

My mom made a bet with me that I couldn't do it for a week, but then I did it for

two years.

And you showed her.

Yeah, but then on that, I was going to keep going, man, but then I had some wings, bro.

That's what, that you fell off of that?

I did the same thing.

I was vegan for like a year.

And then you started and you're eating a lot more plants, so you feel good.

Yeah.

And then you settle in and it's just you're eating just shit all the time.

But see, I was in high school, so I wasn't really eating healthy.

I was just eating fries.

Yeah, see, I started off the first like four or five months.

It's like, you know, eating a shit ton of like, you know, getting leafy greens.

I feel better.

And then after a while, it's like, you know, chips,

fries.

Or you go to a place and that's all you can eat.

Yeah, that's right, exactly.

You go to a bar or whatever.

I was a vegan.

Yeah, Pringles.

Yeah,

it's vegan.

Crack a can open, man.

And then I had barbecue.

I was like, I can have a little bit of barbecue.

And then I ate an entire pound of brisket.

Yeah.

And I was like, all right.

Did it make you feel

like stomach?

I went to sleep immediately.

Yeah, that's nice.

But I would always do that with brisket anyways.

I remember the day you fell off the wagon.

You brought barbecue here.

Yeah, I think I had already had, I think I came back from Texas and I had been eating barbecue in Texas.

Yeah, yeah.

And I came back and I got more barbecue.

You had a taste

for it.

For blood.

For blood.

Y'all from D.C., right?

I started comedy in D.C., yeah.

And you from D.C.?

I'm from Maryland.

everyone's from like the surrounding areas pretty much yeah man i had the i was out there man the crab dip is good out there but crab dip is just isn't that it's just like cheese it's cream cheese or something but it's it's got crab in it yeah and is it real crab or is it imitation crab i couldn't tell but i had it out there twice out there and i said y'all y'all figured that out where did you guys play in dc i don't i'll be honest with you i don't like any of the crab derivative

Fair regular crab is fine.

And then crab is only good because it's like crab cakes are good.

I don't...

You don't like crab cakes?

No, not really.

I like crabs.

Lobster tastes better than crab cakes.

It's too much worse.

With the exception of snow crab.

I like snow crab.

I like king crab.

And then I like soft shell crab.

Soft crab.

Soft shell crab, like deep fried, where you eat the whole thing as a sandwich.

But crabs.

It's like it's fun as like...

you know, with your family, you go, you know, you get a shit ton of them, you spend an afternoon because they fuck your hands all up.

They're kind of hard to eat.

But then as a flavor, I'm not like crazy about it.

Really?

It's more of an event.

Yeah, I don't like the work of the thing.

So I'd rather have like the I like the crab this or crab that because I don't want to I don't want to crunch up the stuff.

Yeah.

It's too much work, bro.

Yeah.

It's that that

you say what I agree.

I went to at the end of the summer.

I went to Brooklyn Crab.

And that was that's a great night.

That's a fucking great place.

In Red Hook.

Yeah, in Red Hook.

On the wall.

Especially catch the sunset, especially if you're upstairs.

I'm really pretty.

Yeah.

Statue of Liberty.

You just gorge on fucking just butter and crab, and then you look out at the sunset with just shit all over your face, and your hands are shaking and bleeding, and you go, wow.

What a town.

Wow.

You know the worst thing?

It's when you got like a shrimp dish and they don't take the tails off.

Yeah, or when they don't clean the poop part out of that.

Yeah, you got to get that up out of there, man.

Yeah.

Got to get that out of the middle of it.

They got crap in them.

All bad.

All bad.

What's your what you from Vegas?

What's Vegas style food?

Another thing.

Guy Fieri.

The Guy Fieri restaurants and shit.

We have New York, New York, Paris, the double bastard rock star motherfucker.

Basically, it's every culture.

It's the child fucking cheeseburger with

the rock star, fuck you, fuckface burger.

Yeah, yeah.

It's the cunt fuck dip.

It's It's a 1950s rocket ship fucking

can't like

do you like do you would you have you ever wanted to eat a social distortion song?

Well come in to fuck you fuckface burger.

Yeah

Guy Fury's favorite restaurant.

And that's yeah, that's what it is.

Suck my addiction.

Pawn stars in Vegas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's fake.

The whole thing is fake.

Really?

Yeah.

Let's fake about it.

It's all predetermined.

And yeah they uh that they go they go to the expert it's all

coming in i got some fat sized oakley sunglasses

i'll give you 25 for them so the interaction is fake i guess so i never watched that show i watched storage wars though i found a guy on youtube he's like an israeli guy that owns a pawn shop and he just like everything he's like yeah okay but you know this jacket's fake look the zippers are wrong like everything that comes in he just shows like he knows

well he knows what things are fake no matter what what.

He's like, well, this is

like, this isn't a real George Foreman grill.

You know, it's like everything.

For some reason as a kid, I got obsessed with the George Foreman grill.

Like, the infomercial.

And I was like, Dad, please get one for our family.

I was like, you'd be an idiot not to.

It knocks out the fat.

I was like, and he's like, I don't know.

It doesn't seem like we need it.

I was like, do you care about our family?

It knocks out the fat.

Do you see?

Like, I just love it.

I don't know why I really wanted us to have one.

and he bought one.

Was you cooking on it?

Yeah.

It is pretty ingenious.

It was just a slanted panini press.

It's a pani press.

Yeah, yeah.

That's all.

It's on an angle.

Yeah, yeah.

So

I will say this.

I had a black and decker one that I like kept for a long time.

Like well into my 20s, and I just lived off.

I would go to, you just get like a bag of frozen chicken breasts, the grocery store in the frozen section.

You just throw one of those.

That was my daily meal.

Yeah, I can't cook like that.

So like.

That's not cooking.

Yeah, I can't cook at all.

Yeah.

You you can't cook at all.

No, I can't, but the one time I did cook, um, it was on a George Foreman.

Yeah, my eyes can't see something going from raw to cook without it being burnt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, I can't see the middle of it.

It's tough.

They have these things, these uh, metal, like

they're called cake testers to see if a cake is done.

I think we got another,

yeah, we got another ad here,

and you put them in, and if it's hotter than your lip, then it's above body temperature and it's done.

That's what my roommate, who was a chef, used to do when he made a steak.

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you could be like a you could be like a a guy that does this you know

this the disclaimer part well my favorite part about this is like it's like it advertised ginghi bow g

i'm trying to figure that out

um you've never left atlanta this is your first time leaving atlanta today no i'm talking about i never moved out of atlanta i know you said that

but i But I lived in Athens when I went to school.

Did you like it a lot?

It was cool.

It was a small city, you know.

But I mean, we go see.

There's a lot of trees there, right?

Yeah.

It's pretty.

Yeah, yeah.

Georgia got a lot of trees.

You ever golf around there?

Man, I never golfed, man.

We got to get into golf now that we're in our 30s.

Yeah, that's the thing.

Well, you're almost in your 40s at this point.

Nearly.

I only have three years to go before golf.

You're 38.

37.

I'm turning 39 and be 40 years old in like six months.

I'm turning 40 in about three months, actually.

Man,

and I'm going to be honest with you.

I wouldn't have thought that.

You look young.

I know, yeah.

You look young.

But it's not going to last.

I'm going to look disgustingly ugly one day.

You putting that lotion on.

I have been.

Thank you.

I fixed my skin.

You noticed.

Yeah.

I mean, we hadn't met till today, but you didn't notice that I fixed my skin.

You look young.

My skin has been bad for like four years.

Really?

Yeah.

Nick gave me a great compliment the other night at dinner.

You said that I was glowing.

He looked a lot better.

Thank you.

You finally got the right skin.

It made me feel good when you said that.

How old are you?

I'm 23.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

He's got an old opposite

situation going on.

We met when

I was a tutor.

I was Big Brother Little Sisters.

What was your dermatitis?

No, it's

yeah, something.

Cyboric.

Cyboric

something or other.

Cyboric dermatitis?

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like related to dandruff.

Whatever.

You begin to dandruff.

Yeah.

I begin it sometimes, too.

It's really embarrassing, dude.

It's all bad at like a laser tag place.

All bad.

Yeah, it's like this guy's got dandruff all over his cum.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

I remember as a kid, like, whenever it was laser tag time, the first time I got exposed was at a skating ring.

Like a roller skater.

Man, I'm skating.

They put the black lights on.

It's like, boys, it dust in your head.

You got roasted.

Yeah.

The worst one is like, no, it's crystal light.

Have you tried it?

I'm trying to lose weight.

It's crystal light.

I'm trying to make a change.

The worst one is when you got a hat on, right?

So they can't see the top of the head, but them shoulders dusty.

Yeah.

And they like, yeah, you got it.

I've had a dandruff throughout my life.

I've never given a a shit.

I put cocoa butter.

And people are like, oh, you got fucking dandruff all over your shirt.

I'm like, yeah, and it's covered in stains also.

I don't fucking care.

I got a cum right here.

Yeah, there's mustard.

There's all sorts of shit.

Who cares?

What's your favorite stain you ever had on a club?

Favorite stain.

Yeah.

It's a tricky question.

Yeah.

I tie-dyed a shirt once when I was like six.

It's an intentional stain.

Yeah, but it's a stain.

Dumbass.

That was a fucking question.

It doesn't count, dude.

No, it does count.

Well, any shirt is dyed.

It's an intentional stain.

Any shirt is dyed.

Let the words come out of your mouth again.

See if you can identify where you fucked up.

Say it again.

I'm not.

Say it again.

You're probably used to this from your time in fraternities.

Nah.

This is a kind of a hazing situation right now.

We're sitting here having a good time.

Did you guys do

that?

So you're the one who started off being an asshole saying, oh, that doesn't count.

I'm just saying.

What's your question?

What is your favorite stain?

Yes.

I say tie-dye.

You say, that's an intentional stain.

If you say something is a stain on our nation's history, that's all he said.

It's a bad thing.

You're the one that prompted it.

Is that a correct answer?

I don't want to get into this discussion.

You already agreed.

You already said that's fine.

Yeah, Yeah, whose fucking side are you on, Mandel?

I did.

I did.

I did.

He said that because he's scared of you, because

you have a scary.

You're always looking for a way.

You're scary.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

You have to make a choice, actually, right now.

Okay.

Yeah.

Whose side are you on?

I've been nice.

I'm a policy, man.

Demographic, man.

What do you mean, demography?

I don't think you have to pick a side.

You don't have to pick a side.

I was just kidding.

No, I already said he doesn't have to pick a side.

You can't also say you're the jury.

I agree with you.

I agree with you.

You got to pick a side, and then I say it, and then now you're like, oh, okay.

Of course, that's how I feel.

Of course.

I just want to say in this moment, I'm proud of both of y'all.

Thank you, man.

I appreciate that.

I'm proud of y'all.

I appreciate that.

You know what?

You kind of mediated.

You kind of like, you kind of got things okay.

We were lifetime.

We were career features.

Well, me, he was nothing.

I was nothing.

And I came from the dust.

You know, and now both of us, we've gotten like probably a year and a half of headlining out of this last little movie.

Yeah, it's been a, it's been a

nothing, but that's fine.

We got backup plans you got a good run going i'm not a good one you got a good run i'm going i'm going sauna full-time y'all got a great so don't sell yourself short nine years is not that long in this business you know oh i'll never make it but what i will say is i think y'all got a great thing going man people love y'all

i'm gonna be i'm gonna go uh inner city um public school teacher after this i would do that if the inner cities brought back the remember the barrels that used to be on fire all the time back in the 90s

anytime you saw

barrels?

Hobos are warming their hands.

Oh, I thought they were trash cans.

No, they're like oil barrels and there's always fire in them and there's always diamond plate steel.

What is it?

Yeah, what is the barrel thing when it comes to hobos?

Because there's that and then there's the suspenders with the barrels.

With that, yeah.

Oh, because they would go broke and then they would have to.

Why is that the only clothes that they could find?

Why is that the only clothes?

Yeah.

I think it was actually, that's like a way to humiliate people.

You're like a gun tearing and then they put you in a barrel also.

I ain't gonna lie.

So I was about to move when I'm moving, and

I'm doing like a go-a-way show.

And then I was going to do like a photo with a sticking bendle.

Oh, yeah.

Bandana on the street.

Like Johnny Appleseed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I realized, like, bro, that's silly because they could just like

hold the bandana.

Yeah, right.

Like, what's in the bandana that you need to stick to?

Also, it's not that much stuff.

You need to create like

leverage.

I know, but it can't be that heavy if it's in a bandana.

You know, he could have lead in there.

Yeah, they was on that.

Are you only bringing a bandana's worth of

your stuff to LA?

Yeah.

What do you think?

What's the priceless thing that you're bringing to LA when you're moving?

Come on, brother.

Do you want a stick for your lemons?

Try it out.

Some of these.

Pete, can we get him a stick?

Yeah, man.

Put the stick on.

Put this on the stick, man.

Put your lemons on a stick?

I gotta have these right here.

Yeah, I think it's a cool style.

Yeah, man.

Do you have any other unique ticks like that?

I got some fake AirPods on me right now.

Wait, they don't work?

No, they work, but they fake.

Oh, they're from the Delhi.

Oh, nah, I got these at the airport.

Yeah.

Yeah, they fake.

Do they like zap you every like now and then?

Nah, like people, people, every time I talk about it.

They only play Michael Bouble.

They only

Michael Bouble's Christmas thing.

Every time I talk on the phone, Kids will be like, it's an echo.

They're like,

it sounds terrible.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, I'm on my AirPods.

I don't know why.

And Steve Jobs wouldn't.

He wouldn't do that.

He wouldn't do that at all.

What was your first show?

Like when you started to stand up?

What compelled you to start standing up?

Well, I had graduated school and I was like, oh, snap.

I got a low IQ, bro.

So

I was trying to work jobs and stuff, and I was bad at it.

And so, I've always been a stand-up fan.

So, then I just tried it one day because my homeboy bit me.

And then, me and him was going to open mics every day with each other.

And then he got a job at IBM.

And I just kept doing it.

Because his IQ is high.

Oh, yeah.

He's smart.

He's smart.

What's IBM even doing these days?

They do like security.

They do Watson.

Cybersecurity is where it's at.

You get you a cybersecurity certificate.

You go make six figures.

What does cybersecurity even do?

They like get your enemy's home address, like it might be a business.

You know, it's like cats.

It's people

with hunched over backs and whatnot.

They typing and they're trying to find the data, man.

And they're like, chill, chill, don't do that.

Oh, you mean like hackers and stuff trying to like penetrate?

And they like, chill.

Yeah.

That's what they do.

Yeah, yeah.

They say, please stop, chill.

Come on, bro.

Come on, man.

For crying out loud.

Mr.

Robot.

Remember that show?

Yeah, yeah, that was pretty good.

Yeah.

With that guy, Romney.

They couldn't blink.

Yeah, he doesn't blink.

He doesn't blink.

And his lips are upside down.

That's the craziest thing about that guy.

Yeah, that guy stinks.

His bottom lip's on the top, and the top one's on the bottom.

That's the worst, man.

Did you see him play Freddie Mercury in that movie?

No, I refused to watch it.

I watched it.

Man, I ain't going to lie.

Freddie Mercury, that movie, I said,

put them teeth in.

I want them.

If I get some money.

You got big ass teeth.

If I get some money, I'm getting them veneers for sure.

Oh, yeah.

Big, big.

Steve Marvelli.

I'm chomping down, man.

Steve Harvey's.

And what?

I'm going to go to Steve Harvey's teeth, guy.

I'm chomping down.

I don't want my lips to close.

No,

let it breathe.

I've always had

asthma.

Keep my junk open.

You know what I'm saying?

Well, I don't want to sell you off of L.A., but the air quality is probably bad for your asthma right now with all these damn fires.

Yeah, man.

Seems Seems like you should be moving here to New York.

Are the fires out yet?

I check every couple hours.

I've been checking.

I think they're working on it now.

I know they're working on it, but I've been in charge.

But they only have girls in the fire.

I also don't really know what you can really do for a big-ass fire.

I think it's like they're, and this is good.

This is probably firefighters are going to get mad at this.

Yeah, yeah.

I think a fire that big, you go out, you spray the water at it, and everybody's like, oh, my God, thank you for the firefighters.

But I think the firefighters know that you're just waiting for that fire to put itself out.

You got to kind of let it run, of course.

What good is that fucking plane doing?

I feel like it's a wide spray, it's doing.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

Y'all know what a plane is.

Y'all don't really need that.

But yeah, they go to a lake and they pick up water and then they dump it.

I think it's like a,

whatever, whatever's inside of it.

Oh, retardant.

A fire extinguisher.

They use retardant.

They use flame retardant.

You know, fire extinguisher juice, whatever that's in there.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm doing.

They got 100 gallons in there,

and they're dumping it out on it.

Yeah, I've seen the videos, and some of them on Twitter, they're like,

look at this beautiful, amazing dump

that they did on the

dump on the Kenneth fire, what a beautiful dump.

Incredible dump

that this helicopter took.

Stunning.

And I watched it, and it's pretty cool.

It extinguishes part of it, but then you look at the bigger map, and it's like, oh, that's like a fucking.

It's Hades.

Yeah, it's like, it's like basically, you know, like when you get like a birthday cake and somebody tries to blow the candles out and they go,

and then like they flicker.

And then it's not like that.

Well, they come back and it's like that first blow doesn't count for the second one.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And that's kind of how I imagine the fire, like the firefighting is happening.

Like they're able to do a little bit, but this is such a big fire that like it kind of you kind of just have to wait for it to run its course to a certain extent.

Huggins lost his laptop in the fire.

Just his laptop?

Well, he's visiting L.A.

and he was staying in the Palisades, so he lost all the clothes he brought in his laptop.

Some hard drives and stuff.

Oh, damn, that sucks.

And then it's not killed anybody.

That's the craziest thing.

Because the evacuation.

Yeah, but imagine drafting is so bad.

I would imagine an evacuation alert happens.

It takes nine hours to get the fucking Starbucks in L.A., you know?

Yeah.

And then with these,

that's working somehow.

Nobody's died.

No, it's not.

That's a good credit to whatever system they got on getting people to In Denver, California,

Northern California, they have fires, and then it's like 30 people die.

Yeah, yeah, but those are like guys that are like hippies that don't want to leave their, you know, their intentional living.

We're part of the fire, man.

It's all boomer hippies.

Fire, you have fire.

You just gotta be positive.

You can fucking remember the 60s.

I had unprotected sex twice

45 years ago.

I'm Che Guevara.

Y'all seen that video of that cat where the fire, he had

the glass window.

Yeah.

And then the fire was like...

Oh, like

his sliding door?

Yeah.

How'd that guy live?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

When you said nobody died, I'm like, how did he get out of there?

How they live.

I don't know.

That's what I mean.

It's impressive.

Now, the instinct, of course, is to go online and be like, this is all fake.

It's not happening.

Yeah.

These are crisis actors.

In fact, I haven't even seen any crisis actors.

No.

I think that it's.

I think that type of line costs a lot of money now.

When Alex Jones got hit

up,

it's on purpose.

When he got hit up

for that line, I think people stopped doing it.

But he's still doing InfoWars.

I thought he was going to lose everything, right?

I think he ain't lying.

I mean,

I feel like he's stretching the truth a little bit more than he is lying.

Didn't somebody buy InfoWars?

No, he still has to do it to pay his debts, but

he has to keep lying to pay the debts.

He has to do it in a way where he doesn't get sued again.

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Because at first, he at first he was straight up lying, and now he'd be like, I've heard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Put a disclaimer on that.

You have to do the gossip style.

Yeah.

People are saying.

Yeah.

That's Trump style.

He does people are saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's, it is really fucking crazy looking.

What do we got?

10 days before Trump's?

11 days?

Yeah.

Especially for like the beginning of this year, 2025, and then we got Trump.

It's like,

it's kind of like gonna be wild.

Like I it hadn't dawned on me.

I've kind of been like

not paying attention to much, but now I'm like, god damn, this year is gonna be crazy.

Man, I visited DC.

I went to DC for the first time, maybe what,

three months ago.

And I was like, it made this January 6th even more crazy.

Because it looked way smaller in real life than it do on TV.

Oh, like the Capitol and the ball and stuff?

Yeah, so it's like, hey, man,

they really was doing too much.

You get what I'm saying?

No, not really.

Like

a cat from like a mile away

could see like all these people trying to stuff into this little bitty building.

Yeah.

It's like, hey, man, y'all got to chill, bro.

Y'all going to jail, bro.

Yeah.

Do you think that the Kamala ladies are going to do January 6th for her?

It's January 10th.

January 10th.

Well, maybe next year.

It's already past January 6th.

Well, maybe just without incident.

But that's the trick because they were going to be like, we're in the clear because

January 6th is past and then they just choose January 12th or something.

But you got to think about it, bro.

Once that cat got shot,

they're not about to be playing.

Who?

Trump.

Oh, yeah.

Once he got shot, the security is not casual no more, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They trying to keep that cat alive, bro.

Who is?

The people who work for him.

Yeah, Secret Service, yeah.

So I think now, like, I feel like now, as soon as

you can text somebody, man,

I'm about to spray the door.

The door gets busted down.

I'm going to try that.

I'm going to text you.

Just say it right now.

They're going to come get you, bro.

Don't text me, please.

Why?

Well, at least give me.

I'm going to text me, but I just want to see if that works.

Nick, says.

No, you got to be in D.C.

during the thing.

No, no.

If you text him.

We're in New York.

We're in the greatest city in the world.

I'm saying if you in D.C.

January 12th?

I don't know.

I just texted Adam.

What did you say?

I made a threat, and we're going to see.

Oh, my phone's in the office right now.

Oh, okay.

They're about to come through this door.

What did you say?

Can I see it on your phone?

You'll check it on your phone later.

What's the threat?

The trick doesn't work.

Just let Mandel see, I guess, because he's the guest.

What did he say?

I'll be a little nervous.

You think I'm going to get in jail?

Oh, you're going to to jail.

But he sent the text.

Yeah, yeah, but the way it says.

They said as your attorney.

You can be my lawyer.

I saw your secret letter about killing the president.

You get 20 years, man.

I just need you to feature while you're representing.

Oh, I will do that now.

Just do your 20.

Listen, let me survive.

For your closing statement.

Get ready to.

I hope you're good at washing clothes.

I will not.

He's not good at washing clothes.

I'm not going to survive.

I'm not going to survive on on this.

I'm sending you down there.

I'm going to go Islam, though, the second I get there.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, I'm going to be the first white Islam.

Nah, you definitely won't be the first one.

Would you grow a beard?

I can't.

I can't.

Yeah.

It's looking good.

I'm not going to join the Nazis.

You might have to.

I'm a Jewish guy.

They wouldn't take me.

Join the Zionists.

I'll be a Latin King.

Prison Zionists.

No, I'm going to go Latin King.

I'm going to be a foo.

I'm going to be an essay.

It'd be funny if they're after, you know, like after the Middle East saying and now Zionism is a dirty word, if there were prison Zionism gangs and it's all just white guys from like Alabama that are like, you brother Israel, my friend.

They're like Starry David tattoos.

They're like, well, it's more a prison thing.

I don't know.

They're like black Israelites.

I don't really believe in this stuff, but, you know, I mean, it's about survival on the inside.

You got to be a Jew.

You got to stick with your own kind.

But why do I feel like this actually happened in some capacity, bro?

Yeah, probably, yeah.

Soon.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah,

I'm not coming up on lock up raw.

You're going to jail skinhead Jews.

I'm not going to go to jail, dude.

I can't.

Seriously, but if it's a federal crime, there is a Mississippi state penitentiary.

It's a Jewish

prison

for white-collar crime.

There's like one prison where they have kosher food and stuff, and you just lie that you need to go there

and you get to play tennis and stuff.

Damn.

I'll go to that one.

I'm not going to say.

Say it.

It's conspiracy.

Does that sound a little.

Come on.

What are you saying?

What are you saying,

nah, man?

You can say it.

It's all right.

Nah, I'm the number one.

Mandel is just saying, dude.

Because he's moving to L.A.

You can't say it on your spine list.

Oh, bro.

They're not looking into the features.

Come on.

Oh, bro.

Let me make so clear, man.

I'm trying to change my family life, man.

So I'm absolutely going to keep my opinions to myself.

But God bless everybody.

Everybody in their own time.

Yeah, bro.

Spoken like a true alpha male.

Mandel, thanks for joining us.

Thanks for joining us.

It's been a lot of fun, man.

All right.

Thanks, guys.

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