The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88

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Welcome to the Adam Freeland Show podcast.

Guest this week, Joe Mandy.

Thanks for joining us.

Happy to be here.

Thank you.

First person with a million followers on Twitter.

Is that true?

That's the first person to openly buy them, I think.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, yeah.

There were people with millions already.

Where do you buy them from, like Indonesia or something?

Well, there was like Fiverr, and then

one of my

Fiverr guys was like, if we go off the website, I can hook you up.

And he was just like a guy in Moldova who was just, for like a couple hundred bucks, was just giving me hundreds of thousands of followers.

That's so sweet.

I don't know what's up with Moldova, but I don't think I was like funding some of that.

Isn't that the worst country?

Didn't Rodney say that?

That that's like statistically the worst one?

That's some Eastern European beef that I don't want no part of.

Where is he from?

Romania?

He's Romania.

That's worse, probably.

Yeah, I wonder how he feels about Nosferat.

He's mad at Moldova.

I don't care at all about that.

They had real Romanians in Nosferatu.

They did.

Yeah.

Really?

Not the robot.

The robots played by Bill Scars.

Did you watch it?

What?

Yeah, I just saw it last night.

Was it good?

It was good.

Yeah.

It looks cool.

I want to see Wicked, but I don't...

Everything else people are excited to see, I don't want to see.

That's why I said I'm going to get into Game of Thrones.

Now it's safe.

I can watch it by myself.

Yeah.

You're waiting for it to not be part of the discount.

In 2025, I get into Game of Thrones and AOL Instant Messenger.

I wish, man.

That was a dark day for me when I lost my Instant Messenger profile.

What do you mean?

It got taken away from me.

It got just like my password.

By Chris Hansen?

Yeah, I know.

I couldn't get into the message boards.

I needed to, the chat rooms.

Just my password no longer worked.

There was like no...

They're like, what was your email in 1998?

Who are you talking to on there?

Like,

I guess it was just like the.

other guys in ISIS.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Fan attacks.

And, you know, between that and the time zones, I just, it was impossible to keep up with them.

I had my name at Mac.com.

Back when they launched, I bought the Apple Mic, just my name at Mac.com.

And I lost the login information for it.

And like once every two years, I'd be like, maybe there's a way.

And there isn't.

No, no.

And it drives me fucking insane every time.

Same thing.

You didn't even have a phone call.

And you can't even get Mac.com.

You can't get those emails anymore.

No longer.

No, it's iCloud.

You have to have an iCloud.

And you get that for free when you buy the phone.

Yeah.

I remember getting really excited for Gmail.

Like my friend,

it was like invite only, right?

It was invite only.

I got an invite from my friend for the beta.

Who has that story about snoopdog at gmail.com?

Moshe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What he would do is a bit he would do on stage.

Moshe would do about like meeting Snoop Dogg and he'd like to connect and we get his email and he's like, can I get your email?

Snoop Dogg's like, You know, it's busy.

So he's like, Yeah, it's uh

Snoop Dogg at gmail.

It is really crazy, though, how many really famous people.

But it's actually about a different celebrity, that's not Snoop Dogg's.

He changed it to Snoop Dogg, but the actual celebrity and the real story is just as funny.

Yeah, yeah,

it's

was it his email is

leave that in, and Moshe met him and he goes, Yeah, it's uh

it's nice emotion that you come up with a different rap.

Yeah,

well, now we exposed him.

I went to a funeral.

It was a uh for my friend's brother last year.

It was really sad, but my friend had to like get into his email because he needed to find some stuff for like and so he like guessed the password.

He finally got in and he found an email.

His brother

sent an email to Steve Jobs to sjobs at Mac.com.

And he's like, Mr.

Jobs, my name is Toby.

I'm a law student in New York City.

I think you are spending too much money litigating copyright law and not enough on research and development.

Like, anyway, have a nice day, Mr.

Jobs.

And Steve Jobs responded.

Yeah.

And he was like, Yeah, he was like, He was like, Yeah, you sound like

this.

Yeah.

He was just drinking a smoothie

while dying.

Yeah, he was getting a kale enema.

He was drinking green juice to cure his cancer.

Dumbass.

Yeah, and he was like, yeah, you sound like a law student.

Like, thanks for your advice, but you're absolutely 100% incorrect.

And, like, yeah, you don't know.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

So Steve Jobs went into the comments, basically.

That's cool.

But I guess he guessed Steve Jobs' email.

And my friend read it during the eulogy.

And it was like, it was really nice.

Like, people were crying and then they laughed a bit.

How are are they doing?

That was an awful story.

Really sad.

The way his friend's brother died.

Yeah, that was really.

I mean, they're good.

The kids are good.

No.

Oh, good.

We should probably.

I don't know.

You brought it up.

You brought it up to make fun of him for sending an email.

It's a funny story.

Oh, okay.

His pager exploded.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, he was in Hezbollah.

Well, he had a seizure while driving.

They don't know.

He crashed into Gaza.

They don't know.

No, he crashed into a.

He drove through all of Gaza.

He He crashed into the Puerto Rican Day parade and then kept driving and then went through Pride Month parade.

Oof, that's a rough one.

Which is the same.

You know, that's the same time.

Yeah.

I love that scheduling issue.

So you're in L.A.

Are you like

the wildfires, are you like demanding respect for that?

Yeah.

I definitely used it last night to gain sympathy.

With New York firefighters?

No, with

the crowd in Washington, D.C.

Oh, okay.

That joke didn't work.

I get updates on my phone or whatever, and they're like, oh, Billy Crystal's house.

He lost his house.

And I'm like, there's no way I'm ever going to care about that.

He's like running out of his house covered in soot.

I can't imagine

anything in Billy Crystal's house.

It's like a glass clipper.

Clippers memorabilia.

Yeah.

Marble.

Just a bunch of marble.

And he's bound to slip in there and split his fucking head open at some point.

Just before I came in here, I saw a thing that Melissa Rivers had heroically saved Joan Rivers' Emmy Award from a fire.

Oh, my God.

That's nice.

That's beautiful.

I did.

I don't know if you guys missed it, but I said he ran out of the house because it was burned into her palm.

That's the globe, right?

It's burned into her palm like a Nazi.

That was better.

Indiana Jones.

That's it.

That's the movie.

Yeah.

His house is okay or no?

No, that's the movie we're doing.

I know.

I don't know.

Do you have any friends whose houses are okay, but they're richer than you?

So you're like a little bit like, oh, I'm sorry, but you're richer than me.

No,

a horrible thing of being slightly more successful than a friend whose house burned down.

Oh, that happened to me.

Oh, you must feel terrible.

You're a bad person.

You're actually.

You're just a bad person.

I offered to burn my house down

in support.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I don't think

people are going to care that much much in the rest of America.

You see people on Twitter being like, it's not all rich people that live in L.A., but it's like,

you're not going to convince them now that it's not.

I know, it is.

In their minds, it's fucking Dan Schneider boiling like a frog in his footpool.

Right.

You know, that's all.

I'm texting Pray for the Palisades a lot these days.

I text him.

I was like, okay.

Thank you.

Is that where he's at?

That's where I think his family is.

No, he's in Nashville now.

He's a country star.

Country star.

He's an actor in a show I worked on.

Interesting.

Maybe they should look into

the reality ball show.

They should look into what Chet was doing before he left for Nashville.

Exactly.

Yeah.

He left his stove on.

He was doing Pyro.

Pyro.

He said it's getting a little hot here in L.A.

I might head to Nashville.

That's his big surprise.

His music is beautiful.

I watched that.

His country music is stunning.

Yeah, but even like he did one of his songs on

it.

Well, whatever, but I mean, it's like for just sitting here with these shitty microphones, I can't even get through a sentence, right?

And then, yeah, I mean, it's really impressive.

It's funny because it's like, I mean, he is, it's Tom Hanks' son.

Yeah.

It's like, of course, he's like talented.

Well, I mean, I would say more talented, actually.

Yeah.

At least does Tom Hanks sing?

I'm confusing.

I'm combining him and Lyle Lovett in my mind into one guy.

It's the same.

That happens.

You know, that does happen.

It's the classic.

Yeah, I'm thinking of Lyle Lovett.

Yeah, Osama bin Laden, Scottie Pippin, Hard.

Lyle Lovett Tom.

All the same guys.

Scottie Pippen.

Ringo Scar.

Lyle Lovett.

Ringo Star.

Yazer Arafat.

Yeah, all the classic.

I found out last night that there's a DC councilman whose name is Magic Jordan.

I was like, I love it, man.

Of course he won the election.

That's the coolest.

That's his Christian name?

Well, it's like something.

His middle name legit is Magic Just Just Just Just Just.

Oh, Legit.

Magic Jordan.

That's so sad.

That's like a name.

His first name is LeBron.

That's like what a white person.

That's like a 12-year-old gives a name to the police because they're trying weed when they get caught.

You're like your creative player on NBA 2K.

Yeah.

That's like Jordan.

What a nerd says in school.

Yeah.

Are you trying to fit in?

Yeah, yeah.

So Magic Jordan.

What's going on with him?

Sports ball.

You don't like, yeah.

You don't like sports.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

DC, well, we they also had a mayor named bowser mariel bowser for mario bowser

what a great place yeah yeah and a mayor who smoked crack our mayor right now i hope 1000 years eric adams the more i find out about what he did he's the he's i don't really think he did anything wrong he had eight he has eight phones on him at all time

for crime like

yeah he just likes phones is that bad no i there's a lot of new expensive phones yeah Yeah.

I mean, the, the, the, when it, when the, when getting the tickets to Turkey, I don't care about he's the mayor of New York, so no matter what, conservatives are going to be mad at him on the internet.

Everyone's going to be mad.

And when the corruption stuff came out, they're like, oh, he's taking kicks.

What's the corruption?

The corruption stuff is he was getting like free business upgrades on flights to Turkey.

There were fundraisers, like campaign fundraisers where I don't care.

It's not.

I don't care either.

I support the standard

brought swagger back.

All the like,

what is it called?

Graft.

It's a graft that gets that's that

gets prosecuted is always the ones where it's like, this is fine to me.

Like when Paul Manafort got busted for tax evasion because he bought his wife a big coat.

Yeah.

I'm like, let him write the f.

It's a coat.

He said it was a business expense?

Yeah.

That's fine.

Like when it's like that's scary because it's like the, oh, yeah.

When it's like Biden doing like kickback renovations on his house, that's where it's fucked up.

But if it's like a big stupid coat for your stupid wife,

I don't have a problem with that like uh menendez getting gold bars from egyptians

let him have the gold bars

you know what i mean right when it's like oh you know like 15 of my offshore drill income that's bad that stuff never they never go after putting my crackhead son on right a golden top hat on energy and so on

oil company right yeah what's hunter up to i don't know is he at an agency how do we get in touch is he CAO?

I think he's an agent.

He's on cameo, I think.

I think he's can we get Hunter.

If you're out there, click this.

He's a man.

He manages Joel Kimbooster, I think.

He's Joel's

only client.

I'm pretty sure.

So he's getting into the business.

Yeah.

So he wants to be, but he doesn't want to be on camera.

No, no, no.

No, he just gets all his clients to do full frontal nudity.

His one client.

Yeah.

He runs like a Euphoria style agency.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

That's so funny.

It is like that guy that made Euphoria really pulled it off.

I'm going to make a show.

You know what's really good that I haven't had until this holiday season?

Seize candies.

From the mall, from the mall.

I always was under the impression that that was like taffy, like saltwater taffy, which I love the packaging of, but I hate as an actual candy.

It's just chocolate, right?

It's chocolate, and it's really fucking good.

It's really good.

Yeah.

Did you have Ethel M's?

Ethyl, no.

No, that was, I guess.

I know Whitman's sampler and now C.

Whitman's is for grandma's.

I guess.

Yeah.

That's a grandma candy.

I was just in Mexico.

When were you in Mexico?

Over New Year's.

You know that.

I had no idea you were in Mexico.

I went to Mexico City, dude.

I was just listening to the events.

I wasn't thinking about like in a location.

That's sweet.

That's nice of you.

Yeah.

I kind of like it.

I'm not going to elaborate, but that's very nice of Nick.

I had no idea you were in Mexico City.

I was in Mexico City and

it's really like the

manic pixies we send down there.

With respect to like the guys that come here get like

I guess brought up here by coyotes and shot by rednecks.

And then they do like they clean poop and stuff and they never complain.

And we are sending some of the worst women.

Like we're sending like the said no one ever.

They're all interested.

Yeah.

Do they

just like tourists?

They all live there, and they're all like Emily and Paris there.

Oh, cool.

And it's just like, but like every time I met an American there, it was like, yeah, out of respect for the guys that were that they're sending up here, it's just the contrast is insane to me.

Right.

We need to start taking them out.

Well, I mean, we need to start like, actually.

Really, it's so mean that like the conservatives are mad at like the nicest guys in America.

For sure.

Yeah.

They bring us DoorDash in four seconds.

Anytime we want anything.

I love their outfits.

They show up on the bike and they have those gloves that are like the part of the bike.

Yeah, it should have the name of a team on it.

I mean, it's so big.

They're so

giant gloves.

I was driving while it was raining a couple weeks ago, and those guys were zooming over the Manhattan Bridge.

Definitely like 35 of them die a day.

It's so scary what they're doing.

A lot of them get robbed and murdered, too, for their bikes.

You think so?

Yeah, there was a big, like, they shut down like Times Square or something like three or four years ago demanding

that the police stop the murders.

And the cops aren't investigating.

I think they're doing what they do with anything else here.

Do they still do ghost bikes?

What are those?

Those like memorials where it's like a white.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they still have them around, but I think they might be the ones that have always been there.

Bike hipster culture kind of isn't.

I've always

hated that.

That's always like, because it's like

I would never want to be known as a cyclist.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I ride a bike occasionally, and

if I were to get hit on because Kenny DeForest died, like, you know,

I haven't been on a bike since.

And there were people on Twitter.

I saw them start the bike community.

It was like one of us.

Oh,

no.

Dude, I know.

I don't think so.

I don't know if I've said this on the show, not to get too more, but to bring up my second death on the show.

But this guy I know was riding a bike, got hit by a garbage truck in um in sunset park and he died and the in the news it said jewish cyclist

that's what i mean jewish cyclists died can you imagine that and he's like why do they say jewish my name's ben

my name's jewish i'm a chef jewish cyclist sounds like a like an oscar bait movie when i saw that i'm like come on imagine dying and then

that's crazy i feel safe yeah it was really sad.

Oh, that's like a dreadful thought to see.

Like, what's the worst way, like two-word combination to be remembered?

Jewish, anything.

Jewish.

Jewish anything.

I did like a Jewish podcast.

It wasn't

that happy.

Yeah, because my dad likes it.

I did it only because my dad likes it.

That's crazy to be 72 and listening to the podcast.

What's your dad doing?

My dad called me yesterday.

he's like have you heard of a comedian ari shafir and i was like yeah dad he's like i heard him on a podcast that i like and i was like he was like he really i what he said about kobe bryant is disgusting oh wow my dad's like now getting getting into that i thought it was like he wanted you to go on protect our podcast no no he was telling me that he was disappointed what what what uh what ari said about kobe but um i went on this jewish podcast i asked them to not post it

and they were like posted and they said sorry we didn't see this message.

They fortunately did cut out the part where the guy.

This is so funny because that's what you would do.

Oh, I didn't.

Oh, I didn't see it.

Yeah, it's a

this.

Right.

Well, in Jewish culture, in Jewish podcast culture, you have to ask them to not to post three times.

Yeah, you have to, yeah, like conversion.

What is this one's mine?

But I didn't bring one today.

Oh, okay.

Thanks, brother.

It's the mini.

No, I'm okay.

But anyway, I asked them not to post it, but they did cut out the part where the guy was like, and to all of our enemies, no matter where they are, as they hide from us in their holes, we will destroy them.

And I was like, I don't want to talk about this right now.

It like started off like really light and it got there in like 20 minutes.

And I was like, can I, I just don't want to talk about this right now.

I was obsessed with a

Queen's

public access show when I lived here called Judaism the Series.

Oh, God.

And it was just a rabbi screaming into the camera for half an hour.

And it was weird.

Where can you even get public access anymore?

I don't know.

I mean, New York, it's still on there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder if that show is still on.

Because, you know, it's a series, a long series, I would imagine.

You ever see the show Black Men Revealed?

It was, I think, DC.

No, it wasn't.

It was like, I think they filmed it in LA, but it was on, like,

I saw it at my cousin's house the first time.

And I think it was on a channel called TV1.

Oh, yeah, TV One.

That's

Byron Allen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there was a show on that called Black Men Revealed that was one of the best things I've ever seen.

What were they revealing?

I just like what kind of pubic hair they like.

What's that?

You told me that.

You know, like how loud black women are.

I mean, it was like,

it was like Sam Hyde came up with it.

Yeah, it was really funny.

What kind of pubic hair do they like?

Eau naturelle was the exact words the guy said.

They're French.

French.

Yeah.

Eau naturel.

A la mode.

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and we're back

and to all of our enemies as they hide in their holes in Shiva.

You think there's like a guy in Hamas like who's like, this is my favorite podcast.

And he hears that and he's like, what?

What the fuck?

Yeah, the guy's act.

I'm canceling my Patreon subscription to the Jewish podcast.

The guy's act is like, it's like...

Someone hand me the star link.

I need to cancel.

I need to cancel my Patreon subscription to the Jewish hour.

Yeah, his cash.

Max Freeman.

What is the name of the podcast?

Can you say?

It's this guy, Modi.

Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah.

His act is like comic view, but for Jewish people, it's like, yeah, it's all Sephardic.

He's like the Jewish Sebastian.

Everyone's parents like it.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, so Sephardic people be driving like this, but the Ashkenazi people be driving like Russia.

Yeah, and he crushes.

Yeah, he sings Hatikfa in the middle.

Sebastian was in that top five list of tours the last year.

I didn't realize there was that many Italian people in America.

Yeah.

Yeah, but he also has...

perspective on parenting and stuff like that.

Other people can relate to it.

I don't know.

I mean,

I was under the impression that he just brings out the Italians.

Like he was like the white.

Like he's Joe Coi for

kind of, yeah.

For what is it, bald people, right?

Philippino.

Filipinos, yeah.

Or Philipp are they Philip?

Because Filipino means Pinois.

And then Philip.

Well, Pinoy means guy also.

Oh.

Pinay is girl.

He would think it would be vaginoi, but it's

Pinay.

And then Filipina is.

Brandon was telling me that.

It's spelled with an F.

Filipino.

Yes, it is, but the country is PH.

Yeah.

Very confusing.

What the hell?

Brandon was telling me because Brandon played his son in a movie that Joe Perrot told him to show up just fully bald

on the first day.

Yeah, that would be a strong movie.

Hilarious.

I watched that movie on a plane.

Yeah.

Easter Sunday.

Didn't he play like a, like a, like a 16-year-old or something?

Brandon played like a 16-year-old, and he'd be acting 14.

You know, my man, immature.

So, what do you think about this election?

We got

with the upcoming one.

It's upcoming.

We got Trump versus Kamala.

What is Kamala doing right now?

She's chilling.

She's just inducting people into the we gotta get her in here.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

They gave Soros

the Medal of Honor.

That whole lineup of medal winners was incredible.

Who'd they give it to?

It was like Denzel Washington, Corano.

He's not chilling.

Don't you have have to use a machine gun in World War II to get the Medal of Honor?

No, they give it to Bob Dylan and stuff.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom can just be like.

Oh, the president of the Medal of Honor is for the military.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Medal of Freedom.

Nanette got one.

Oh, okay.

It's about time.

Yeah.

She's not even an American.

Neither is Bono.

Oh, I didn't hear Bono.

Yeah.

I heard Denzel, and I heard

Hillary Clinton got one.

It seemed like they were.

It was just

Hillary Clinton.

Does George Soros have a nationality?

He doesn't, right he's hungarian i think he's american he just he's like the octopus that lives over the globe yeah what he doesn't have a country that he belongs to i don't even know what he looks like i just know his name he looks exactly like you'd imagine him people are obsessed with george soros if you like everything you've heard about george soros now imagine

imagine the guy

he looks like you know who's that guy that owns who's that greek guy that owns gristides yeah uh uh katza katsa mutsalutsi or whatever i'm obsessed with his daughter aj katz

One of my favorite Instagram accounts.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

She nuts.

She's nuts.

She's very...

She's been the president of the Young Republican Guild for years.

She's

just

very, very skinny and wears

American flag bikinis.

You know who's great is Billy Joel's daughter.

Oh, Instagram.

Yeah.

Yeah, Nick's ex.

Yeah.

The Down Easter Alex.

We dated for about 45 years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, because it's like you know she's like you know she's billy joel's daughter so she'll make music and stuff right but it's fine you know i mean it's but then the comments are all people who have like watched her grow up they're just like these like long island mutants

probably yeah you're so beautiful you've always been beautiful your work is beautiful i love you beautiful blossomed into a piano woman yeah

yeah

exactly yeah i check in on the jackson kids to make sure they're okay with no parents Michael Jackson Paris does music now.

Blanket?

Blanket doesn't have social media.

Yeah, smart.

I just hope Blanket's okay.

Me too.

It was so funny.

Was Blanket the one that was dangled?

Yes.

Yeah.

That's so funny.

It really was.

It was like something that was too overwhelmingly funny for us to even process.

Yeah, we weren't ready for that.

But it was just Michael Jackson is dangling a child whose face is covered in like some weird textile.

Right.

Well, a blanket.

A blanket.

Yeah.

And he named it.

Blanket was really into martial arts for a while.

That was his thing.

I just want to make sure they're okay.

Because there were a lot of terrible things that people said about their father in the media that aren't true.

That aren't true.

And then his other, his daughter, the girl he had with,

is in Nosferatu.

Who's that?

Lily Rose Depp.

That's Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson's daughter.

Michael Jackson's daughter.

Yeah.

Daughter.

Daughter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How was she?

She was good?

Yeah, I liked it.

Yeah.

Who made it?

The Witch Guy?

The Witch Guy Edgars.

Is it scary?

I don't like scary movies.

The Witch is better.

Yeah.

I was saying it to Pete.

It's like, there's all this

to-do about him remaking this movie that's just Dracula.

It is.

It's like, you know.

Was it Juan?

Everyone's done Dracula.

We've done Dracula.

Was it Soros Coded?

Huh?

Soros Coded?

No, it's just Dracula.

There's no animals.

It's a good Dracula movie.

Oh, thank you.

Thank God.

But The Witch is better.

The Witch is better than the original Nosferatu.

Yeah.

The Witch is great.

I don't watch scary movies.

They don't scare me.

They're fake.

There's no reason to watch the scary movie.

You know what's scary?

Dumpster scene, Mulholland Drive.

That is scary.

It's the scariest thing I've ever seen.

I'm trying to think what's the scariest thing I've seen in a movie.

That was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

You know, in Star Wars when they're in the trash room?

That's scary.

That's scary.

And they're all, yeah, they almost...

Yeah.

And thankfully, R2-D2 figures out the buttons.

Every time I see that, I'm like, you're like, oh, I'm like, are they going to get out of here?

Oh, good.

R2-D2.

Figured out the camera.

When I was a kid, my parents

got a sitter and they went on to dinner, and they rented me dumb and dumber, and I cried when they gave the blind kid the dead bird.

They stole a dumb and dumber joke.

They stole a dumb and dumber joke in that Apple TV series about the World War II pilots.

Did you watch it?

I watched it too.

Huh?

Did you watch it?

I watched it.

It's too distracting.

They're so handsome.

The fucking hair is good.

The hair is insane.

i can't get away

comes back and like 30 of his friends have been killed

and he's like they crash everything's died already and then he's got like fucking like teased and like perfect you know like he like he's gonna go shoot a watch ad and then he licks a metal pole and that's yeah yeah yeah

oh the joke is like you know a guy spills the salt and they're like you gotta throw the salt and he throws the entire thing That's funny.

You know, and they're like, you're not supposed to throw the whole thing out.

He's like, I'm the guy from the South.

i'm the world war ii guy from the south i don't know and i'm a buster pilot in georgia we throw the whole salt

because i'm from the south well i was i mean i'm laughing i said this i said this before on the show but i'll say it again i don't care but uh we we i was with like a group of people and austin butler was at the same place and every girl was like he's disgusting and every guy was like I'm going to hit you in the face right now.

Oh, really?

Defending himself.

He's hot for us.

He's hot to guys, but he's not girl hot.

Girl's like the rat fuck from

the working at a restaurant show.

Ratatouille.

The rat guy from the working at.

I work at a restaurant.

It's so hard.

Ratatouille.

Yeah, it's not.

It's in a restaurant.

It's like the rat.

He's under the hat.

He's a lives under action.

He's a fan of that.

No, it's from FX.

He's a mouse that lives under a restaurant.

What's her name?

A.O.

is in it.

Patton Oswald.

No, it's the one with the A.

It's the rat guy with the penis, the Calvin Klein penis, right?

It's the cock rat from

the restaurant show.

You think Patton Oswald's penis looks like him?

I guarantee you.

Oh, have you seen him?

Yeah.

Did he ask you to jack off?

It would be funny if he had like a Brian Posain penis.

You know, but then, and then, and Brian Posain had a Patton Oswald penis.

Yeah, and that's why they became friends.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They just click together.

Yeah.

Like the hole is all wide.

You know what I mean?

It's like short and stubby, and it's got like a

wide hole.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can see it.

Oh, man.

He nuts.

It just looks like a stick of gum.

Like

an old 90s printer.

It's a solid.

Holes on each side.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder if his house is on fire right now.

Hopefully not.

Wait, what about Jay Leno's garage?

No, that's Burbank's fine.

It's climate controlled.

Yeah, but there's no climate change in that garage.

If he loses all those cars.

Is his face okay?

Didn't he fuck up his face?

He gets fucked up constantly.

He's just fucking himself up.

Somebody told me that.

Ranner, is that you that was like, I heard it was gambling debts?

That was a big internet rumor.

Somebody said it was gambling debts, and it's like,

who is Jay Leno?

Like, he's like, I'll have the $20 next week.

Because

he doesn't touch his late night money, so he could theoretically lose.

I'll just take the ass kicking.

Go ahead, beat my ass.

See if I can't.

I'm already dead on the inside.

What happened?

Oh, I fell down a hill outside the Hampton Inn.

I don't have a problem.

That's at old Pittsburgh.

I think Occam's razor is that all his cars are steam-powered.

You know what I mean?

Like, he's just blowing up.

He does have steam-powered cars.

I know.

I saw him driving like a Studa Baker.

Which is funny.

He has

cool cars.

And then sometimes on a show, he's like, yeah.

So this this was originally owned by Donald Duck, and I bought it for $800 million.

Yeah.

And, you know, it's good.

The pedals make the inflatable wheels move.

Do you think him and Seinfeld respect each other's car knowledge or do they have a rivalry?

I think they hate each other.

You think that, yeah, they're trying to, so like a long.

They're probably trying to buy the same cars all the time.

Yeah, they're hate each other.

Yeah, they probably fucking hate each other.

Man.

I've never seen Seinfeld wear denim.

So, you know, think about that.

Dude, I'm Team J all the way on that.

Yeah.

Monic Lewinsky.

Yeah, it does feel like, it feels like Jerry Seinfeld's a rich guy that started buying cars because he, you know, he's already got the watches or whatever.

Because it's like an investment.

Right.

Jay Leno was a car guy that became rich.

And now he's like, well, instead of having children,

I'm going to owe guys around town $50

for my car.

Yeah.

And

have the biggest car collection.

I'm going to run away from the Armenian mafia

in Burbank.

Uh-huh.

Jeez, Louise.

I hope just shout out to everyone in LA right now.

It's not a laughing matter.

Joe lives there.

Yeah.

Your wife lives there.

Yeah.

You have a child or no?

We have a dog.

Dog.

What kind of dog?

A pit bull.

Oh, hell yeah.

A dog.

Got that.

You want to see mine?

I saw a very funny-looking pit bull the other day.

Who, my dog?

No, it was on the street.

It had like a Chinese grandma face.

So it was like.

It was like

judgmental.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wears a mask on the subway.

Uh-huh.

I can't find it, dude.

That's fine.

It used to be my background.

Is that a thing about them?

They wear a mask on the subway.

I guess everybody does.

All Chinese women.

That when I lived here.

Before COVID.

Before COVID.

And now, like, in retrospect, I'm like, oh, they were just being thoughtful.

Yeah.

It makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not that I wear a mask on the subway.

No, no.

Or anywhere else for that matter.

Yeah.

Or wash my hands or do anything.

My phone background's been the same thing for 15 years.

I just changed it just to my girlfriend.

It used to be my girlfriend.

And it's crazy because that, even at the time, it was probably already a 20-year-old picture.

It's so HD.

It's so good.

It's so clear.

But now that, like, you can't turn it off.

Oh, that's beautiful.

That was on Christmas, which I celebrate now.

Can I see that thing, dude?

Did you celebrate Christmas?

Is your girlfriend?

Yeah, she is

a Gentile.

You just, you started.

Well, this year was great.

It was both things at once.

The fire and Christmas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We it was great.

Our tree.

I hope it turns out that this started because of an immonenor.

If it was a menorah that started the fires.

We can't take that right now.

Yeah.

Dude, how great?

I wouldn't say anything, but I would be doing a lot of smirking.

This last year, this last year is.

The amount of smirking I would be doing.

This last year has been juju juju.

And now the Indians are taking the heat

for the visa.

Yeah, check out these guys.

Look at Vivek.

He's pooping on the street or whatever they're saying about them.

Yeah.

Thank God it took the heat off the Jews for five seconds.

I'll tell you, the government efficiency office, they're going to blow all the money on all the ink they got to spend on business cards.

The Parks Department's head by like two top Rejan de Jandian, Didan DeLandalon?

Where's their Ellis Island?

They should have to, if any group of people should have to go through Ellis Island, it's the Indians

with new like shorter latches.

Can you imagine them?

an Indian guy trying to, there's an Italian guy that's like,

Vito Vidigliore.

And they're like, Joe Smith.

And then an Indian guy.

Yeah, they should all be named Steve Hardy.

And they're like, what's your name?

And he goes, ooh!

You know, before he

used to take the team.

Who's the NSA guy?

Huh?

The NSA guy.

Cash.

Cash Patong.

Cash Pateau.

That guy's awesome.

Anytime you see a picture of him, he's like, fucked up.

Yeah.

It looks like Gary Boosie just whispered something to him he's like

like what the fuck dude i'm i'm getting excited for the second time around you're in a very funny moment right now i'm getting excited it's starting to get so crazy in like a week buying trump retweeted some like jeffree sacks like uh

clip

like just yesterday and it'll be interesting to see

He's going to drive everyone insane.

We're going to do it.

We're going to evade it.

He's going to fucking, his opinion.

Whatever our policy is, is going to be fucking nuts with the Middle East.

Yep.

It's going to be like pro-Al-Qaeda, anti-Israel.

You know.

Yeah, I mean, even beyond foreign, I mean, like, just the Greenland thing has just got me hyped.

And the Gulf of America thing got me hyped.

Yeah, that kind of makes sense, though.

Yeah, what's going on over there?

We should have Greenland.

Does that ever piss you off how big

Siberia is?

Well,

nothing.

He probably only thinks of Greenland in the flat map where

he thinks it's the third of the world.

What could we even do up there?

You put missiles there?

Well, it's also all melting, so it'll be like new trade routes.

I think that's what it is.

It'll be actually Greenland.

But we should have Greenland.

Yeah, why not?

It belongs to what?

Like Denmark?

Denmark or something like that?

What the fuck are they doing with it?

Yeah, they don't display it.

It was an episode in Borgen.

Was it like Bosch?

It's like Danish West Wing, a show

during COVID.

I really like it.

Do they have a Toby and stuff?

It's not like one-for-one.

It's not one-for-one.

It should be.

But she does have an advisor.

And they're like,

Toby, have you seen my cuckoo clock?

I've been going back through my clogs, Toby.

I've been going back through just to remember when times were nice.

Nothing's changed.

That's my liberal woman.

You watch West Wing and it's like all the same shit.

No, it's not.

It's like, should kids wear uniforms and

people's lamest lamest issues?

Should gay guys go to the army?

It's like the closet.

Yeah, the closet is a lot of fun.

Now it's like, should we vote against going back 20 years, and that's it?

The rest of it, the social issues are the fucking same.

Everything's.

What are you talking about?

It's just like, it's all nothing issues.

It's like nice to hear about.

It's gun control.

It's drugs.

It's fucking.

Gun control, I guess, is that

LGBT stuff.

Q didn't exist at the time.

Now the army is all gay guys.

Isn't it crazy that

got like reappropriated?

It is weird.

There's an like in like string theory or something, there's like a universe that exists like right here where it's LGBTF.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like there's another timeline where we're just

another slur.

Yeah.

They're like, we're faggots.

Like I'm not, well, I identify as a faggot.

You know what I mean?

But they are, you can't, if you say, they're like, don't.

I can't say that, but right here.

I majored in the other, you know, major in fag culture.

In the universe,

the time cop alternate timeline, where everyone has a cool 80s mullet, but everything else is the same, except that's also

the bad word.

Is the bad word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We should bleep because right now we're talking in the context of.

We're in that universe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're in the quantum

realm.

That would be great if there was like, they got to like season 35 of Quantum Leap, and that was the episode.

The N-word is a good word.

Yeah, where everybody.

Yeah,

where people are calling me.

Just keep remembering.

White people are calling me.

And Scott Bakula being like, why is everybody calling me that?

Well, he closes the mirror.

He's white.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

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We're going to spruce up the cornbread THC read by telling the story.

Have you ever met the comic Jake Young?

No.

He probably would have been doing stand-up around your time in New York.

Yeah, he was a DC guy.

It was a funny guy.

He was a big, big fat guy, but

he was like one of those nerd comedians.

He would do comic book comedy and stuff like that.

And

he got an opportunity to open for Brian Posane.

Because his dick looked like

exactly because he looked like Patton Oswald.

And Brian Posean was like, you remind me of my friend's penis.

Or however Brian talks.

Or my penis.

And he said, yo, right.

My own penis.

You look like my penis.

You remind me of my own penis.

He said it.

He said, you look like my penis.

We heard Brian Posean, you know, smokes weed or whatever.

And so he asked our friend Jordan to like roll him a joint so that in the green room he could be like,

fucking smoke weed or whatever.

Brian Possane just seemed cool.

And, you know, he's a a good nerd so he had Jordan roll the joint a month in advance okay and so he was holding on to the Brian Posain joint that he would present in the green room the show that he smoked weed and then he went to go see I think it was Wally

I think WALL-E was the movie they went to go see in the movie theater and like Jordan was like do you smoke weed at all and he's like no and he was like I think you should probably try to smoke weed first so he's like well like he's like but I only have the Brian Posain joint he's like I'll roll you another joint, dude.

And so he smokes the Brian Posain joint.

And then I guess he's upset about smoking his special Brian Posain joint.

So they're in Wallie.

He's like a baby.

He's not feeling very good.

And he started, he had to leave halfway through the movie because he thought the people sitting next to him were texting the police that he was high.

He was an adult man.

He was like 29.

Yeah.

Wait, is it true that Doug Benson started smoking weed at like 53 years old or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that now it's his whole thing.

Yeah, I really don't trust anybody that starts late.

But he was doing the marijuana logs.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Doug Benson is old as shit, though.

He was Adam Sandler's roommate, right?

He's like, I think he's like 80.

He's Shecky Green's roommate.

Yeah, he's old.

Yeah, him and Dick Gregory were contemporaries.

He used to.

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You like the name?

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It is.

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And it's cheap, too.

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And you can have it during dinner, even though it's kind of a little dessery.

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No, I don't really like sweet cornbread.

I like it with jalapeno and cheese.

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And we're back.

So you're a weed?

You're like really into it?

No, I used to be, but I'm chilled on that.

But I actually have been getting fed a lot of

crow and raven content on my social media.

Oh, okay.

Like people who have ravens as pets.

Yeah, yeah.

They're very smart birds.

Yeah, like I'm kind of intrigued.

I don't want to make that my whole identity, which I think it would become.

I found a hurt bird when we were in Canada.

It got hit by a cold virus.

in the middle of the street, yeah.

What kind of bird?

It was a crow.

Uh-huh.

And then all the other crows were in the trees screaming.

And the thing was like stunned in the street.

So I took it out of the street, and I was like, you know, I don't know what to do with it.

So we found an animal hospital down the block.

So I took it to the animal hospital.

And they snapped its neck.

They did.

They probably killed it as soon as I brought it in there.

But they were like,

Segal style.

I like to.

They were a chiropractor.

I showed them.

I talked to them for a second.

I think they said that the bird was just like in shock.

It didn't look like it was seriously hurt.

It just got dinged.

Yeah.

But I like to imagine that bird somewhere.

Like

if I were in the fires in Los Angeles, you'd go for the bird.

I'd be like, what is well, they would come and fucking

save you.

Save you.

And then I would be flying off.

Well, crows famously hold grudges, like generationally.

They'll teach their children to hate you.

But they also remember if you're nice to them.

Especially a Canadian crow.

Of course.

Yeah, it's also

a group of them is called a rape.

Did you know that?

A rape of crows.

Yeah, yeah.

In the other.

Why are you?

A downloading child pornography of crows.

I think that's what it's called.

I don't know what the etymology is.

Yeah.

I think that's what it is.

I think that's probably what it is.

A pedophile of crows.

What is a downloading child pornography of crows?

Birds for 800.

Yeah, no, you're.

Show me your bird for 800.

No, that's wrong.

Challenge.

Challenge!

This is the first challenge in Jebrew history.

Just pull out a gun and shoot Ken Jennings.

3-2-1!

Just smites like a black smoke rifle.

Just a Gaston Gaston gun with the bell on the end.

Just kill some Asian lady that's a producer.

Challenge failed.

Okay.

You say challenge failed after you killed a lady.

Challenge failed.

I'm sorry.

This is my first time on Jeopardy.

This is my first time.

I've never been on fucking Jeopardy.

I never seen the show, dude.

I thought it was fucking the most dangerous suitcase with Howie Mandel.

That was that suitcase crap.

When I was in college,

I took a bus here and I saw you do stand-up.

Really?

This is like years ago.

That's crazy.

A big, terrific.

A big, terrific.

Was that at Cameo?

No, it was like in the back of a...

Was that the name of it?

It was the back of a bar in Brooklyn.

It's like where Vice is now.

Vice bought that whole era.

I didn't realize Vice still existed.

I don't know if it's still Vice, but yeah, vice bought that all and destroyed it.

That's crazy.

That whole era is just gone.

Yeah.

And I don't think people will ever be nostalgic about it or care about it.

About what?

I don't know, like Williamsburg?

2010s.

Oh, no.

For me, that was the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

That was Hate Ashbury 1969 to me.

You know what's crazy?

I think about this all the time.

Like, nobody refers to this as the 20s.

That's already taken.

This is just bullshit.

Yeah.

It's just perpetual bullshit.

The last decade.

When I was 21, I was like, man, I'm going to be like a 20s guy.

I imagine myself, I had like a big rooster.

Yeah, no, I thought that.

I thought it would curl.

I was a little cool mustache, I think.

I hate that.

I don't like the way it feels.

That was happening in 2009,

Williamsburg.

It was like a penny-farthing style of stuff.

Yeah, but it was a mishmash of all sorts of things.

Like the pants were too high.

It was weird.

You did that book of them.

I did, yeah.

That era was very good to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I.

Where you got groupies off of Look at this fucking hipster blog?

There were chicks that were like,

I got an urban outfitters book out of it.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

That in 2009, Urban Outfitters.

Yeah.

I mean, that's peak.

Yeah, it's huge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Urban Outfitters are still around.

There's like one or two of them.

No, they're still around.

They're still around.

Yeah.

You can steal.

It's like Hudson News.

I always thought it would be cool to go there.

You go there with like $500, dude.

And you buy every

album there to create the sickest record collection of all time.

People come over like, oh my god, dude.

The Pink Floyd ass.

You got

the Pink Floyd ass album?

You got Pink Floyd's ass?

Asses by Pink Floyd?

And Metallica?

Oh, my God.

There was a Ween album when I was in, like, sixth grade.

Great band.

And it made me so horny.

It was just like a wool.

It was the first time I'd ever seen, what do you call it, like, Australian cleavage or whatever.

What is that?

It's like the bottom of the boob.

Oh, under boob.

Oh, I didn't realize that was called Australian cleavage.

Oh, because it's like, I thought that was really good.

Because it's down under.

Yeah, the Nanette cleavage.

Because it's down under.

Yeah.

The Nanette.

So that was like, I feel like that was my version of

the ass album, was the Ween.

You know what I'm talking about.

With all the wins.

That was a famous poster.

Whatever.

That was a poster.

We call it all their own.

That was like a stoner album.

That was a stoner Dorbury poster.

It was like Bob Marley with a lion coming out of the back of his head.

And then like

chicks.

I don't think that was one of the albums.

Globe in the Dark Gnome.

Yeah, I know, but I remember when I saw you go up,

you were working at Maury at the time.

You were talking about it.

Yeah, yeah.

That was.

You worked at Maury?

I was an intern at the Maury Povis show.

Oh, interesting.

I love that show so much.

Yeah, it was great.

Do you remember when the internet was just memes that just described what the picture was?

It was no joke.

And I remember there was one that was like, when you a Jewish N-word and you got the baddest Asian chick and the hoods still fuck with you.

I feel like just a picture of Maury.

The meme could have just been the picture of Maury and then just the N-word.

Yeah, it would work the same.

The N-word's doing all the lifting.

He called me gay in front of like a whole crowd.

Everyone,

everyone come into the room real quick.

I have something to say to Joe.

No, it was like during a taping.

He called you gay while he was on stage?

Yeah.

Did you read it off a little piece of paper and pull out an audience?

No, so what it was was it was a gay.

No, it was

pretty close, actually.

You open up the envelope.

You're gay.

The results are in.

Your parents are crying.

Yeah, my dad's like, what's the thing?

What's that guy celebrating?

I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew it.

No, so it was a geek to chic episode, which is like when.

It was a Gsa'Gents episode.

Yeah, yeah.

And so we were told by the producer, we were sitting, my friends and I were sitting in the front row, and we were told to like cheer for the women when they walked by.

The hot version.

The hot version.

When they were struck by in their bikinis or something.

Did you boo the ugly version?

No, the hot one,

I was doing a bit where I was like, kind of, I was pretending to be frightened of them.

Like he walked by, and then he stopped.

He stopped the taping, and he was getting his makeup done.

So he came out with wearing a makeup bib and was like, Joe, like, she's a beautiful woman.

Stop acting gay.

And then the whole crowd was like, oh, hey, yes.

It was.

And the hood fucked with that?

Yeah, well, it didn't make the air, but it was, it was

horror memory.

It was hilarious.

I would have killed myself.

Do you ever see?

Do you remember when Sean Patton and Sean O'Connor and a different guy went on Tyra Banks' show?

Oh, the It's the Thing guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With the, they had like, Sean O'Connor had like a whale puppet

and then like they were like trying to set comedians up like it was like women have hard time meeting guys so we got three comedians right because women say a sense of humor and so then they're all they all acted as weird as possible So like Sean Patton goes to a bar with somebody.

He's like, yeah, I want to pitch some jokes I'm working on.

And the jokes are like just the most offensive thing.

So prolapse.

He's like, so this black bitch is.

I forget what it was.

But I brought it up to him one time and he was like, mortify.

Yeah.

Dude, you're so funny.

A friend of a friend, her brother, was a producer on Tyra.

And they had an episode where

a lady had two vaginas.

And so Tyra talked to her.

And then they got all these letters and calls that, like, they were like, I also have two vaginas.

And so they had a follow-up episode.

And he told me that the intro, Tyra was like looking at the camera and she goes, behind me, I have nine women and 18 vaginas.

apparently she's a nut do you ever see the one where she she like it was like April Fool's Day and she pretends she got bit by a dog

She like tells this she comes out and she's acting all like shaken up and she tells the crowd it wasn't a good show because she thought it got printed she comes off like heartless she just seems like she doesn't really care about anybody nor does she like know how anything works yeah so she's just acting strangely but it's April Fool's Day or whatever so everyone knows that like it's a print like she's doing a bit

and then she like she goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just need some water.

And then you see her like take a pill.

Oh, she throws up blood?

No, it was just like Alka Seltzer.

She started foaming her mouth and then barking at people in the audience.

And everyone was just like, what the fuck?

Yeah, there was one episode where they had like it was a guy that worked on the show.

It was like either an intern or producer or something that wanted to propose to his girlfriend.

And so he decided to propose to her on the show, but they were going to trick her.

And so they film it where he goes to like meet up with her and then he starts breaking up with her on camera.

And this woman's like cry, like reacting.

And then he's like, actually, I'm just kidding.

Like, do you want to get engaged?

And she's just like, I,

what?

Yeah.

You know.

Did he yell tire prank?

Because that was what she yelled when she was like, I don't recall her yelling tire prank.

I remember being like, I was a kid, and I saw it, and I'm like, this is fucked up.

Yeah, I'm just like, stew.

Why would you do that?

Yeah, it's, it's like, uh,

that arrow was really good, but I think someone died from Jenny Jones, so they had to pull it back.

That was before that, though.

Was that before that?

Yeah, yeah.

I think, like,

but that's like, for me, it was.

And that gets pinned on Jenny Jones, and it's not even really her fault.

No.

It's like those guys, those guys were, they were gay with each other.

They were butt-fucking each other anyways.

And then one of them.

Is that what they were doing?

And then one of them took away the friend.

And one of them touted the other, right?

That was what the guy was saying.

So he said, I have a crush on her straight friend.

Yeah, he was like,

I have a crush on my straight friend.

But they were like, they flew there together, I think.

He's like, I got something to tell you on Jenny Jones.

They were fucking each other in the hotel, and they went on the show.

There was a show called Richard Bay.

It was like a Nancy Pelosi's husband kind of situation.

It wasn't.

He did it with a hammer?

Yeah, it was a date gone wrong.

Yeah, and they blamed it on Jenny Jones.

Just like the Pelosi thing.

There was a show called Richard Bay that ruled because it was

very similar to

Jerry Springer, that type of show.

But then it always ended.

It then just turned into like Doubledare, where they had to work together to win a prize.

Oh, it was a game show also.

Yeah, at the very end.

So it would be like just dysfunctional families yelling at each other.

And then it was like, well, we have a kiddie pool full of pudding.

And if you work together, you find the prize.

Yeah.

And then they would do it.

It probably actually works.

Yeah.

It probably resolves.

That's like a form of therapy people need to try.

Yeah.

No, I would just always associate those shows with being sick at home from school because those shows were on all day long.

And just like being in fourth grade and watching Jerry Springer and being like, this is awesome.

Like

this lady is

cheating on her boyfriend.

But I miss that man every day.

He was truly the best.

Yeah.

The Steve Wilcox show is pretty good.

That's, yeah.

That one was kind of peak.

Yeah.

He took what really worked.

What really worked, but then it was also so produced.

I remember they had an episode where there was a guy that was like, I'm not, it was like the title of the episode was, I'm not going to stop having sex with my 12-year-old daughter.

And then

he takes the chair away from Crows.

And then he brings his 12-year-old daughter.

He brings on the guy, Steve Wilkos, and the guy's like, I'm not going to stop.

And Steve Wilkos just like takes a chair.

And his thing was throwing the chair into the

flats and having the chair stick into the flats.

It's impressive.

And then he'd go, get the hell off my show.

Yeah.

And it's like, well, you're inviting him when you bring him on the show in the first place

someone's job is to get him right tickets you were saying some shit about how like people would call and just say hello maury like yeah that every yeah that was my job was that

hey maury what's up

yeah no that was i actually i couldn't handle the phone calls because they were so like

uh it was too intimate too fucked up it was too sad yeah and so they were like well we have a whole room of maury's mail that no one's personal mail yeah Yeah, like letters, like the letters.

So, my job, because no one else would do it, I got to sit in a room on a couch and open up letters and read them and then put them into bins that were categorized by show genre.

So, it would be like, you know, drawings of Maury's penis,

drawings of Patton Oswald's penis.

Yeah.

I mean,

one bin was just excellent.

Then Maury comes in.

Who the fuck mixed up the Patton and Brian Cosain penis drawings?

It was most of them, yeah.

You have each each other's penises.

How many times do I have to tell you this?

It was that fag, wasn't it?

It was Joe Man.

It was that fag.

What if they

got more?

You can't say that.

At tonight's show, we have a man from another dimension where faggot means

he was a cool guy?

He was, I mean, like, everyone was terrified of him, but, like, I, yeah, I think he, he

weirdly remembered me as the gay intern, but also because I was the only person who, like, was brave enough to, like, knock on his door and ask for a photo with him.

Because everyone, we were told, like, don't look at him.

Don't look at him.

Don't look at the kid.

Yeah.

But he was cool.

I got a photo with him.

He's funny?

Yeah, he was.

He's funny.

He was funny when he called you a.

Yeah, it it was cool.

That was hilarious.

And I was hoping that they'd keep it in, but then we had to reshoot it, and I had to like

cheer for it.

You should have taken it too far.

You should have just started mapping me.

Everyone's shocked, and you just quietly ejaculate on the floor.

You go, what?

I'm not gay,

continues to seep out onto the floor, boys.

What?

Crying and saying, I'm not gay.

What did I do wrong?

I've never had a job before.

I'm an intern.

I'm 31 years old, and this is my first job out of law school.

I just got this American apparel front zip hoodie because I'm trying to make it a nerd comedy.

Oh, God.

Yeah, watch my special.

Watch my special.

Watch your special.

Hulu, please.

What's your radio thing?

Well, you guys talk about the movie radio a lot.

Oh, Nick loves the movie radio.

So I haven't been able to use this idea ever.

So this is the

place.

I had an idea for a sequel to Radio.

Okay.

Where Radio has a younger brother who is

even more.

Well, no, I don't even mean movie video.

Even more developmentally challenged.

Oh, even more.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

And the whole movie is video trying to convey something to radio.

And they're both just,

a lot's going on, but they're just, they cannot, he cannot communicate this message.

And eventually, radio realizes that video

has gender dysphoria, and he helps him get a transition, and it's radio to trans sister.

Oh, okay.

All right.

You could have sold that, I think, six years ago.

Yeah.

I think they would have thrown money at that six years ago.

I should have done it then.

Shit.

Yeah, if that didn't win an Oscar, I mean, it's just.

Yeah, I mean, in the most racist country, but Trump wins.

If the trans radio is going to get re-elected, yeah.

Trans radio.

Trans sister radio.

All right.

Thanks for joining us, everyone.

Thank you, Joe.

Thank you.

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