The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Aaron Chen - Episode 87

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

Special guest, Aaron Chen.

Thanks for joining us.

Hello, thanks for having me.

Nick is ill.

He's left.

Sorry.

It's not your fault.

No, I mean, I mean, like,

I mean, it's not, you don't have to, you know, how Australians are always apologizing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sad to hear that.

They're known as the women of the international community.

Famously.

Yeah, it is, you know, we're both sad that Nick's not here.

i saw him on the way out yeah he looked hot like horrible yeah yeah what did he say to you he said i'm so sick i gotta get out of here it's great to meet you that's one of the most polite hellos i've ever heard he's yeah he's very gentle yeah yeah no not with most people i think because he's sick he's like him saying i'm very yeah he's but he's tender yeah he's tender he got him in a vulnerable moment you should have tried to kiss uh

so you live here now aaron i live here brooklyn heights we should get we should exchange addresses not numbers

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you, of course,

you were the biggest comedian in Australia before you came here.

Not the biggest, but one year I did do the most sales at Melbourne Comedy Festival.

Really?

Yeah.

And you also were saying before the show, you go to Hannah Gatsby's Taylor, too.

We get the same suits.

We get the same suits.

Gatsby does, like, we get the same stuff.

Do you, you, do, like, does Gatsby go to Hong Kong to that like Molester guy?

Do you know that guy?

I don't know this guy.

So, yeah, I mean, like, I met you here.

Yeah.

But back when we were in Australia, you saw us in Sydney.

Yes.

The three of you guys at the comedy store.

It was a triumph.

What a beautiful night.

It was a kind of stand-up afterwards.

Yeah, yeah.

My cousins that live in Sydney, I hadn't met them, and they came to the show.

Yes.

And Nick said, you know, some really good stuff about the Holocaust.

They didn't like it.

They said nice to meet you afterwards.

did they know about the pod uh no they were they did not came in but they were like they said your boy was popping off yeah he was it was go off season on the holocaust it wasn't always a jay friendly podcast i i believe it always was

i think there was always a love

that was underneath it was kind of like south park the way carpman talks to kyle and you know where you know secretly he he respects jewish people and he likes them a lot Yeah, every single one.

Kotman's funded by

Israel.

By Israel.

Really?

That would be a great episode.

If he met Netson Yahoo and he started respecting Jews.

If Carvin was like...

How about Kotman Yahoo?

Oh, that would be good.

How would that go?

You respect my authority in Gaza.

Okay, let's cut that.

Let's cut that.

No, the Lord's making it.

When we were in Melbourne,

no, this is all staying in, dude.

This has to.

We were going to stop the recorder rides at one hour, exactly, on the dot.

We used to do that with Cometown.

We literally put a timer and like mid-sentence, we just stopped the recorder.

It was the laziest job in the world.

It's good.

It's efficient.

Yeah, and it was, I don't know.

It forces you to be better in that hour.

It was magic.

It was

the rest of history.

No,

yeah, in Melbourne, everyone was like, yeah, good luck over there.

It's like the woke city.

And at that time, we were like the cheeky white boy podcast.

We were like a little bit, it was before, you know,

Skank Fest.

Before Skank Fest, before Shane, you know,

Shane hosted SNL.

Yeah.

Now, white boys are back up, but like at that time, it was really maybe Come Town will host SNL.

Trump elected for the second time.

Yeah.

Come Town

right before Come Town hosts SNL.

It'd be so funny if they've never had three hosts.

If they book Come Town as the host of SNL and they just have Nick and Stoff,

I'm like watching it on TV.

I'm like, what the fuck, dude?

You could go on weekend.

They didn't tell me.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

They don't even tell me.

I'm just seeing it at home.

My dad, I get a call from my dad.

He's like yelling at me.

I'm like, I didn't know.

He would want you to be.

He's like, what the fuck?

Yeah.

No, yeah, but they're like, good luck in Melbourne.

It's like the woke city.

And so I was on stage and just incoherent Australian.

And I said,

I was like, shut up, dude.

You'll never be on Cometown.

Huge ovation.

Right?

And then I got home.

This is a heckler.

Some heckler, right?

I got home in Melbourne.

Yeah.

Back to the hotel.

And then it was like, I saw on Twitter, like, good on Adam for shutting down those racists tonight at the Melbourne show.

But I didn't realize they were shouting out like terrible slurs, apparently.

Oh, really?

But like, it was incoherent to me.

So I accidentally was.

That's a post.

I accidentally became a hero.

It was like me.

It was very, like, I didn't, I guess now I'm saying it, but it was not on purpose.

But had I known what they were saying, I would have also.

I don't know if I would say, you'll never be on Cometown.

Yeah.

I don't know if that's the right thing.

Just like, yeah, you see, like, like someone being racially abusing someone on the street, saying, you'll never be on Come Town, brother.

This is not our value.

Cut it out, bro.

Stop it.

You've listened to way too many podcasts.

it's it's a it's kind of a high-minded kind of satire you don't understand you're taking it too far did come town have like a charter like ethics mission statement that type of thing we never talked to the press

seriously

yeah we're like we've we request we rejected every interview like the new york times hit us up like three times yeah but that was the next policy that was next well it was always on like the dirt bag like they always make it seem like it's like we want to profile this cool thing that you're doing and then like the third paragraph is but

but

they're fucking gay

racist or you know that's what news like yeah it was like whatever so that was pretty smart at the time but now I'm I'm open to any press inquiry if anyone's watching at this point yeah yeah I'm happy

you might go to Australia I could hook you up with Australian press on like what the morning zoo radio there's one called the project which is right in between comedy and the news they'll love to have you like the daily daily show?

It's like a news show.

It's genuinely the news, but they got three comedians on the panel.

So it's like they're saying, oh, there's a war.

Making jokes about Gaza.

Yeah, yeah.

Seems a little bit in bad taste.

I don't know.

That's what some people think.

I don't know.

Do you guys have like drive-time radio?

Do you have like wacky comedies?

We got everything.

Yeah, we got drive-time radio.

Pete and the retired.

It's close.

We got one called Fitzy and Whipper.

That's our guys.

That's your prime minister.

Oh, no.

But it's Prime Minister Whipper.

You guys are kind of.

I've always felt like in my mind, I said that you guys are like the America to New Zealand's Canada.

Yeah, that's fair.

Like they're like doing the hack in the way that in Canada they do the land acknowledgement.

Yeah, we do the land acknowledgement now as well.

A lot of the time.

Yeah, we copy.

That's so cowardly.

You're trying to be like this?

We're trying to be like New Zealand.

But you don't have a dance.

Not a unifying one.

No.

We get taught dances, but they're to like Tina Turner songs and stuff.

Yeah, we had square dancing in gym class in fifth grade.

Is that we?

We did Achy Breaky Heart.

Do you remember that song?

Yeah.

Billy Ray?

Yeah.

Pretty good.

Yeah, we do it to the nut bush.

That's what we do.

Who's that?

Tina Turner.

Crowded House.

Nah, Tina.

Your girl.

You You know her?

Hmm.

She's from New Zealand?

She's from America, but

I know her.

Yes.

Victim of domestic abuse.

Ike Turner.

I still haven't.

You don't know about that?

We just know the song.

We know the dance.

So you guys do the land acknowledgement now.

What do you say in an Australian land acknowledgement?

We acknowledge the traditional owners, that type of thing.

It's kind of rude.

Yeah, yeah, go on.

It's like we beat you.

We just want want to admit that.

We just like want to

out of respect for the losers.

Yeah.

We just want to admit that we won.

I don't know.

They're not going to give it back to the indigenous.

I don't think they will.

Yeah.

It's kind of a little bit more.

It's not looking like that.

Yeah.

It's like, no, we're here.

This is ours now.

But we're building more apartments and stuff.

Last time I checked, they're actually building more stuff.

Yeah, it's still ours.

The Hong Kong mainland boys.

yeah yeah

china's getting hong kong are there are they oh they got it they got it they got it they're gonna secure taiwan next like that's a last yeah that's a last frontier i'm not paying it

but i kind of have to start paying attention before our pivot we've said for a long time that we're gonna go ccp because you're gonna go cc you have to predict with the winners you know well i go ccp will you go russia or ukraine russia they don't have shit they're like stupid like yeah i mean it's like kind of.

Because that's not done yet, right?

That's still kind of going.

Oh, Russia and Ukraine, I'm staying out of completely.

You're not putting odds on.

You're putting odds on.

It's a white,

white on white.

Not my problem.

Sounds about white to me.

The Caucasity?

Pete, don't get...

Pete, don't start me.

Don't get me started on the Caucasity of that conflict.

Butch Caucasity.

Yeah, Butch Caucasidity in the white.

That's what they're going to remake it to.

Oh, come.

Okay, let's leave it to the professionals.

Thank you.

You said the Oaxaca dance.

You know that's a part of Mexico.

I know, Oaxaca, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Why'd you say the Oaxaca dance?

They got cheese.

No, you said the Oaxaca dance kids.

Shut up.

Shut up.

They pay me millions for this, okay?

That's pretty good.

That's a professional.

If everyone realizes that they could do this

low-effort thing that I do, I'm screwed I'm gonna have to move back to Israel and

I'm gonna have to move back to the beaches of Tel Aviv yeah oh man um

yeah so you but like

did you see like in con the the Congress in uh New Zealand recently they were doing the haka the haka yeah I saw tick tocks of it because my wife she's on tick tock and she'll show she'll be like yeah but that's all the context like and is she graduating soon from high school or

just kidding Just kidding.

That's just the cap.

Everyone's on that crap now.

What?

Has her mental health suffered from TikTok?

From TikTok?

Oh, yeah.

I don't know.

I think she likes it.

She really likes it.

It kind of enriches her life a lot.

Come on, dude.

It's really good.

I like the CCP.

TikTok should not be banned, you know?

No, I mean, like, whatever.

you have to say that for your wife now?

Yeah.

Her life is better from TikTok.

I mean, it depends on what your algorithm is.

No, I don't like TikTok.

I don't have TikTok.

I do Instagram reels, but all my algorithm is like people mispronouncing things.

I do YouTube shorts.

That's like the most right-wing one.

Is it?

I think so.

Who's on it?

Mine are always like Shane Gill is epics.

And it's just like him on Matt, like a clip from them on the show.

I get Shane.

Sometimes Shane's on there.

Yeah.

Shane's on Rogan sometimes, you know, stuff like that.

How do you book that?

How do you book that?

Joe Rogan?

Yeah, do you know?

I think you got to get to the guy himself.

How do you get there?

Yeah, maybe you should move to Austin, do the mics for a little while.

I got to start all over again, just waiting for Kill Tony in an alleyway.

Yeah.

Get your name down in Kill Tony.

When I open, when guys open for me on the road, they're like, that's the plan for them.

Yeah.

They're like, I had a, they're like, if you get it, I didn't even know like what the system was if you get it then you get a golden ticket and then you get the secret show he's wonk or you get the other mic that's like a less than the golden ticket yeah and then they go back to like denver and they're like what's the golden ticket you get like two minutes there's like another show at the mothership at like 4 a.m

and it's filled with like i don't know just elon musk or something or like

it's just like free speech and stuff and they're doing

a program to see i don't know what happens in Austin.

I don't want to know.

Yeah.

You know, but it doesn't sound good.

Have you ever done the mothership?

I wouldn't, if they even asked.

I wouldn't do it.

Because of what they

did.

Yeah,

the free speech.

Yeah, the free speech.

It would have been so funny if Tony Hinchcliffe lost Trump the election.

Yeah.

It didn't happen, but it would have been just the best thing ever.

It'd be crazy.

Because the way he won the first time was, do you know about Anthony Wiener?

No.

So, yeah, Anthony Weener was a little bit more than a hundred

Matty Weino.

Similar.

He was this

congressman who kept getting caught sending his penis and DMs.

Yeah.

And he got caught for like the fourth time

right before the election.

And I guess as a result of his wife, his wife worked for Hillary Clinton.

And as a result of that, the FBI reopened the Hillary Clinton email investigation 10 days before the election.

Yeah.

So literally, like a man's penis, like

the internet.

It kind of shifted the course of history.

That's crazy.

But if that culminated in Tony Hinchcliffe undoing that,

it would have been kind of perfect.

But unfortunately,

you know, he's back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm one of the biggest victims of this whole thing.

Of this whole thing?

How so?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm not really sure.

You can't get on Kiltoni.

I would love to be on the mothership.

I would, I would, I would, Joe Rogan,

it would be an honor.

If you ever say anything about illegals cutting the penises off the kids, I'll just, I'm going to nod and smile.

And I'll be like,

Omaha funnybone

this weekend.

That's right, Joe.

What was

your favorite city in Australia?

I mean, I thought, you know, they're nice.

I mean, Mel.

You like it?

You'll go back.

I mean, if I'm getting paid, baby.

It's so fucking far.

It's a big flight.

It's so far.

22 hours.

It's horrible.

Yeah.

It's really just like, and your body feels terrible for a week after when you're back.

Yeah.

We went to Japan before.

Did you?

With me and Nikonstav and my next girlfriend.

no before the Australia tour

to get our circadian rhythms yeah it was my stroke of genius

and then but on like after we got back I was just we were like wait texting each other at like 4 a.m.

being like I just I just like

I'm not tired yet like yeah you're just fucked up how do you deal with it this is a great podcast talk I don't know

how do you deal with the jet lag Aaron

I like I like it I think this will be a real we'll do a real back here is nice.

Or one way is really nice.

You don't feel it at all.

I think Australia, going back to Australia, it's good.

Yeah.

You're the good there, but you come back and you're destroyed.

I don't know.

You have to be disciplined.

So, Michael, this is our social media guy.

I want you to clip that.

You got to deal with jet lag.

But like some of that music that Andrew Tate-style videos are on about

business and mindset.

Yeah, yeah.

How do you deal with the jet lag?

Andrew Tate would

say what you want, but he'd be good at dealing with jet lag.

I imagine if you ranked everybody.

Well, I feel like he's

only awake at night or something.

I feel like he's a little fan.

He lives in Transylvania or something.

He doesn't, he just never dealt with the jet lag.

Have you ever watched Andrew Tate's stuff?

No, no.

No, no.

Because typically

you'll find yourself agreeing with 95 or to 98% of it.

Top G, I know that.

Oh, I didn't know that part.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll watch someone.

You've got to get to that.

No, I don't understand.

I mean, I think that there's like

there was a guy, Tucker Max, who I think was like kind of the progenitor of all that Andrew Tate stuff.

He was the who used to read, like, a he used to write a blog that, like, when I was in middle school and high school, we'd read about how fucked up he got and how much pussy he got.

Do you remember him?

Yeah, that guy in Zero Hedge was the other guy.

I didn't know Zero Hedge.

He was at the Commander Hedge fund road.

What was Tucker Max's book called?

But I just...

It literally is for 11-year-old boys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's sowing the seed so they'll grow into.

It's like dreaming of like, I'm going to be James Bond.

I hope they serve beer and hell.

Assholes finish first.

So these are the men women want.

Yeah.

So I used to read that when I was 13, and I thought of that.

Did you really?

Well, it was books.

Yeah, I thought it was smart.

It's like an adult writing it.

Was that out when you were 13?

You would have maybe, like, yeah, middle school, early high school.

That's crazy that you knew that stuff.

I didn't know anything.

When we were in middle school, we used to say

the most misogynistic you ever are is like in sixth grade before you've even touched a girl.

We'd say stuff like, I would fuck that bitch in the ass.

We'd say,

But you're so scared.

I never even kissed.

Yeah, I'd say about an, but like, also, I I've like,

didn't even have a single pube and that that girl was like a head and shoulders taller than me.

I'd be like, I'd fuck that bitch in the ass.

Like, it's in retrospect,

pretty cool.

Pretty pimp.

But you've leveled out since then.

You've like finished puberty, like your hormones.

Yeah, yeah.

I hit it about like 29 to 32.

I had my growth spurt.

Yeah.

What are you at now?

My voice broke.

What age are you on?

37.

37.

Yeah.

That's nice.

That's a good age.

You think so?

I'm excited to be 40.

Oh, because that's when the goats get like really big and confident.

That's when you start.

I hope to get past at the cellar by the time I'm 45.

I just hope to get on a golden ticket to the mothership.

Yeah.

Get on Kill Tony.

55-year-olds waiting for the

putting their names in the bucket at Kill Tony.

That's really sad.

I kind of, did you, you'd had mics and stuff in Australia?

We started to have mics like four years into me doing comedy, but like

the thing that we would do is like we had like open mic competitions.

So I would enter all these like different competitions.

They'd have like a regular.

Just comedy or like acoustic guitar and stuff?

Just comedy.

But it was like kind of a scam.

Not a scam, but it's like at the first half, they'd have a pro show and then an open mic competition where everyone would bring their friends to like

vote

Yeah, that kind of thing.

Yeah, no, I mean like I guess like back, you know Stav and Nick and I were all at open mics like years ago and the just the

school shooters that you meet that have like

honestly it has saved lives.

There are like

there are lone wolf active shooters that like found open mic comedy and were like kind of trying to do Louie at the time where they were like, my body sucks.

And you know, like, who do you think is the best comic that was on track to be a school shooter, but now they're successful?

I wonder if those guys are the maker.

No, I mean, I don't know.

Yeah.

Who would have been a school shooter?

I think

Amy Schumer.

Yeah, there was a girl shooting.

Really?

The first one.

Yeah.

Well, it's gone crazy.

I'm not even going to.

Yeah.

When I see stuff like like that, I'm like,

I'm not gonna say anything.

That's crazy, that is nuts.

I didn't know that.

It's bizarre that it's like everyone on the internet now, like, I don't know, we have careers, so we have to like be posting stuff, and it's like kind of humiliating still.

Yeah, but like, people are like, everyone else, most 99.9% of the people are doing that for zero dollars.

They post for free.

They're yelling at the president all day for zero dollars.

Yeah.

It's bizarre.

And they have to make a statement.

When there's a girl shooter, they have to be, they have to.

Yeah.

They're like the press secretary for Aaron Chan or like for themselves.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's bizarre at this point.

Yeah, it's kind of brand world, that type of thing.

Yeah.

I yell at Peter Dutton.

That's who I yell at.

That's good.

Yeah.

That was who the prime minister was when we were there.

At the time?

I think so.

Maybe.

He kind of looked like a penis.

He's like bold.

He's like completely like...

Yeah.

He looks kind of evil, but I don't know what he's got going on, you know?

He was a cop.

He was a cop.

Kamala.

He's an Aussie cop.

He's a Kamala.

He was an Indian cop.

He was a South Asian cop.

Yeah.

No,

we all liked Peter Dunn.

You like it?

It's a good name.

Not Peter Dunn, Tony Abbott.

That's who we are.

Tony Abbott.

He was like loose.

He bit the

onion.

He wore speed dealers.

Was he mentally retarded?

Or did he just...

Not official.

He just had a lot of...

If he did comedy in Brooklyn, he would talk about autism.

You think so?

Yeah.

He was a kind of identity-style guy?

No, definitely not.

You couldn't call him identity-style, but...

He would be in Bushwick doing

new clown.

Yeah, he'd be a clown.

Apparently, like, in LA, there's a scene of like alt clowns.

I heard about this at like the lyric Hyperion.

People's parents should fucking stop paying for that.

Yeah, clown school.

You can cut that.

You would send them to clown school before they did that.

Clown school?

I reckon clown schools saved a lot of lives.

From what?

Getting a wife?

From getting married?

From having a family.

family, yeah.

It's really, it's just

really sad.

Uh-huh.

Have you been encountered the clown scene?

I mean, like, when you're Australian, you go to Edinburgh Fringe a lot and Melbourne Comedy Festival, and the clowns are there, you know.

I think in the years of like 2019,

that kind of era, that was big, big clown world.

And then COVID.

Yeah.

These guys, then COVID.

Then COVID, yeah.

Yeah, COVID.

Clown was

It's crazy.

There was like 20 to 30 clowns at the festival, you know?

They'd all share one car.

Run that again, Pete.

Let's get a laugh.

Pete, why didn't you give him anything on that?

You've been laughing at like girl mass shootings, but you're not laughing at this girl.

Come on.

From the top.

So

what?

I'm talking 20 to 30 clowns at one festival.

How did they get around?

One car.

That was good.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for saying that.

Okay.

So you're married?

I'm a married man, yeah.

Where did you meet your wife?

In art school?

Not art school.

Well, regular school.

Sydney

Sydney University.

Okay, no.

But I did a liberal arts degree.

SU.

SU, yeah.

Go SU.

Were you in a frat?

I was not in a frat.

The difference is in Australia, we go to the school that is in your town.

So you don't move.

Really?

Yeah, and you stay with your mommy forever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it is kind of a mommy's boy country.

It is.

Everyone is saying that about Australia.

Yeah, it's weird.

You guys have very specific racisms there.

How do you mean?

Like, we were in Sydney, and the Uber driver was like, you don't want to go down there.

It's a bunch of Lebos.

And I thought he meant lesbians.

And I was like, like, like, lesbian ladies.

And he's like, no, Lebanese.

Yeah, we.

And I was like, there's like four million Lebanese people in the world.

Yeah.

I love Australian Lebanese guys.

That's like the best subculture.

Oh, that's a type of guy.

Well, there's like kind of Lebanese.

It used to be the Greek guys, like, they were that type of guys.

Now it's kind of everyone.

Even Vietnamese people are Lebanese.

What style is a Lebanese Australian guy?

Lebanese.

Are you metrosexual?

Not a met.

Oh, sometimes, but like,

I guess the stereotype is that, like...

You know,

they're in a specific area of Sydney.

They like

a certain type of Aussie drill music.

They got an accent.

You know, Nick Kyrios, the tennis player?

He's the man.

He's the man.

He's like kind of that style of guy, and he's like the best guy in the world.

He's the coolest.

He's the best.

He's Greek, no?

He's Greek.

See, so it's like kind of a vibe of a person.

I like how he has a bad attitude.

He's got a naughty attitude.

He's got a tantrum on the corner.

But he's the most talented guy in the world.

As an analyst, he's amazing.

He was just doing the U.S.

Open this year.

Yeah, he's funny.

And he loves Kobe.

I really wish he won a Grand Slam.

That would, I mean, like, just even one Open, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I, like, I support him wholeheartedly.

I love

everyone from my country as well.

Do you really?

Yeah, every American, pretty much, yeah.

In sports.

In anything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In war.

You're watching the feed.

I kind of like war is I'm going to wait and see.

Yeah, you like the underdogs.

No, I go with the winners.

You go with the winners.

They write history, of course.

Yeah.

I don't know if you went to college, but one and a half years.

One and a half years.

Really?

It's kind of a comedy track.

SU.

I'm a dropout.

Did you finish?

Oh, yeah.

What's your three years?

I finished early.

What's your degree say?

Politics.

Politics.

International politics.

Wow.

Yeah, Middle Eastern stuff.

You found the right vehicle for your skill set.

Absolutely.

You got the mindset.

Yeah, yeah.

Destiny didn't know what he was up against.

He was up against a fucking genius.

Well, yeah, I did one and a half years of art history, which is like what you said, like Gadsby's.

Gatsby did that as well.

Yeah.

Why didn't you do a show about

Picasso?

Yeah, Monet was a fucking pervert or something.

Because I only did it one hour.

If I stuck with it, I would be able to say the levels of stuff that Gatsby says, but I just did one of those things.

I was still getting to paint brush.

Like, what is a paintbrush and stuff stuff like that?

Really?

Yeah.

The different styles.

You start with finger.

You know, Snow Piercer, the movie?

Yeah.

She's like at the front of the train, and I'm the guy at the back of the train.

But you're working your way up to kill her at the front.

Yeah, through the mics.

Have you met Nanette?

She's nice to you.

Nanette,

the year Melbourne Comedy Festival,

she won, like, Hannah won the best show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and I won best newcomer, so I was at the back of the train, you know.

Yeah, but you were right.

And then we shook hands at the awards.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

And what did that feel like?

She was like,

same suit.

Hong Kong.

Molester guy?

Who is that molester guy?

I don't know.

I made him feel weird by explaining.

There's a guy who rubs Chinese guys' asses.

Is he good at tailoring, though?

The people are all like.

He's terrible.

The suitor.

I don't like the style that he tailors, but he's like perfect lapel.

Well, you can get

oh, is he like a viral guy?

He's like viral, yeah.

Yeah, in Hong Kong, you can get suits, like amazing suits tailored to you for very cheap.

Yeah, you'd used to fly out to do that.

If you were Chinese in Australia, you'd fly to Hong Kong.

Should we go shopping?

It'd be fun.

Yeah.

You want to go to Hong Kong right now?

Well, I'm waiting for the private jet era of my career.

I think when you get like $500 million, you can have your own plane.

That's crazy.

That comes up on my YouTube shorts.

This guy who sells private jets to people.

Yeah.

It's like, this is how you sell a private jet.

Really?

Yeah.

And how do you do it?

You insult the guy.

So these guys, they'd come to him and they'd be like, oh, I'm so it's like where are you flying to?

And they'll be like, I'm flying from Louisiana to Los Angeles five times a week.

And then he's like, how many people?

And then he's like, what you want is a Lear jet, you know, that's like comfortable.

That's the size of plane you want.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's all.

It's really easy, Joe.

But he wears like a, he's got this iPad, you know, and he's like, just plugs it in.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

You could do it on the

smart.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I could do it, no problem.

Yeah.

I mean, I think that it'd be cool.

I mean, it's probably bad for the

environment or whatever.

But

if I hit you up, I was like, you want to get dinner in Tokyo?

Yeah.

Get on the PJ.

Get on our plane.

Yeah.

That'd be sick.

It'd be awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

And then we could be up in the air and be like.

Have you ever been in a private jet?

No.

Have you?

No.

You're close.

You're getting close.

Really far away from that.

I wonder which comedians we know.

Oh, Tim Dylan does it.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Really?

He does it, yeah.

I heard that Shane did it.

He does?

Yeah.

Oh, he does.

You got to get on Kilton.

Dan goes on with him?

James McCann.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe.

He's kind of like his opener, right?

Shane's opener.

Yeah, he's Australian stuff.

Do you know him from Sydney?

I knew him from way back, but he's from Adelaide.

Oh, it's trash.

Adelaide's crazy.

You beef with Adelaide?

It's a satellite city.

I don't have a beef with them,

but that's probably more offensive, you know?

Like, you just don't even think about Adelaide.

Oh, they don't exist.

But I like it.

It's a beautiful, beautiful city.

I'm going to be there in the new year.

What date is that?

Maybe Valentine's Day.

I'm not sure.

Oh, the city of love.

Do you want to get dinner in Paris?

I would love to.

Let's go get a

how sick would that be?

Do you think they do that?

Because what I hear is like the fuel costs a lot.

If you want to, yeah, but we have $500 million.

We're Shane.

We can do anything we want.

You reckon he's on that?

I could be on the mothership 8 p.m.

slot

back in my bed.

Mothership to Paris.

Back in my bed

in the Marais in Paris.

Dude, I could be based in Paris.

Yeah.

I could do a spot

at Side Splitters in Tampa.

Back to Paris.

You ever done comedy in Paris?

No, I'm not a clown, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true.

Do clowns beef with mimes, you think?

I think clowns are like, we're not mimes, but they don't also.

They're like, we're not fucking mimes.

Yeah, yeah.

They get pissed about it.

And mimes can't can't say anything about that yeah they can't say shit

that's not bad huh yeah it's pretty good it's pretty good okay yeah yeah

yeah they're like those guards at buckingham palace you know yeah yeah how are you still doing your weekly comedy show in ball yeah i bombed so hard that time did you that's what i felt wow but then you're very funny this guy's one of the funniest comedians that's so nice to say in australia

well because like i feel like the vibe was like

i was scared I wasn't like saying enough crazy stuff, you know?

That's what people think.

Yeah, people think that.

I think you go into it thinking that and then you're guarded.

And you're about to pop off and then you hold back and you're like, Lorne Michaels could be here.

Yeah.

Lorne goes.

Because he's scouting you guys to host SNL.

Yeah.

And Simon Nicker on next week with musical guest Nikki Minaj.

Nikki Minaj.

Yeah, and they know that I'm the biggest Nikki Minaj fan.

Yeah.

They didn't even tell me.

I didn't even know that

Come Town was still a thing.

Be so funny.

They were still doing it.

I just had no idea.

They said that the show ended because

to me.

And like,

it's a conspiracy of silence.

Like, all of America has been lying to me.

My girlfriend knows that Come Town still exists.

You're on a different internet.

Yeah, yeah.

They put blockers.

They changed.

They've hacked my phones.

Yeah.

They're mostly SI now.

That's when you'll find out.

Yeah, they made the set.

The talk show doesn't even go on the internet.

No.

They asked Chris Cuomo to come sit next to me, and

they've convinced me I'm a talk show host

just to get me off the pot.

It's pretty good.

I also produced Calm Down.

I would be flattered, honestly.

The effort, I would be flattered.

Yeah.

It's a lot of effort for Calm Town.

If you could watch your own funeral,

would you do it?

How would that work?

I just want to hear how much everyone really loves me.

Because they're not saying it to me now.

To your face.

But if they think I'm dead.

But they'll be so mad when I walk out of the back and I'm like.

I reckon you'll get.

Yeah.

They'll be like,

then

they'll be even meaner.

Who do you think will do speeches?

I'm going to get a radical Muslim cleric.

I'm going to get one of these guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, in the bodega, they're watching like this guy.

Did you hear about in Australia, it wasn't a Muslim cleric, but it was like maybe an Orthodox, some type of Orthodox from the Middle East, and he was blowing up on TikTok, and then he got stabbed.

Oh, Christian Orthodox?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, what do you mean?

He represents kind of the Middle Eastern Australian community, a section of the Middle Eastern Australian community.

I went to a funeral once

at a Armenian earth orthodox I feel like it's yeah I could maybe but it's clear the guy the wizard guy they because they dress real sick huh I think it was wasted I think he was wasted and I don't think he like did enough prep

yeah it was like you must remember him he was like you must remember him

if maybe you go fishing and he falls off the boat yeah remember this story I don't know if this happened but remember.

Yeah.

That's funny.

And he's like wearing black.

He's like, as you can see, I'm wearing black, but I wish I could say the Khibshar Rabrabra, but instead, we must say.

And it was just

like meandering and stuff.

And like, I mean, it was a very sad.

Yeah, yeah.

I wasn't.

I didn't.

Did you know the.

In retrospect, it was pretty funny.

Yeah, I knew the person.

It was sad.

It was very sad.

But like, in retrospect, I'm like, Jesus Christ, that guy was that guy was gold that guy gave me a story for the pad

is that your first telling of the story um yes i've never actually had a story you're close to overcoming the the grief of the moment uh maybe i mentioned it the next week on the podcast

guys i went there was a tragedy but guess what i saw a wizard yeah

no but uh yeah i'd never been to an orthodox church before and it's very theatrical yeah yeah yeah did they put the smoke on and stuff like like that yeah the bells the smells yeah full nine smells are nice yeah it was like

yeah yeah it smells good did you grow up going to a synagogue or anything like that black church black church are you serious yep

yeah where about

um

deep south

pete did you hear that

why do you laugh at that

You've been laughing at everything on this shit except for the clown carpet and that I was going to Alabama black church.

No.

Don't condescend me.

What would you have said, Pete?

No, let's hear your bit about what church I went to.

Mad at Pete.

Thank you, Pete.

So, Pete, what church, you, Adam Friedland, Pete?

What church did you go to growing up, huh?

I went to a a Pentecostal church talking to Thomas.

Pretty good.

I think he's got it.

That was fucking terrible.

That was good, dude.

It was pretty good.

Yeah, I went to black church.

Not bad.

It was pretty much exactly like the International Players Anthem music video.

What's that?

I don't know.

It's the UGK Outcast.

Do you know that song?

I don't know it.

No.

I choose you, baby.

But what do you listen to?

Crowded fucking house?

Yeah, I listened to Crowded House.

What do you listen to?

Man for the down, Land Down Under.

Land down under.

Yeah, yeah.

I was coming up for a bit.

Avenging my sandwich?

Yeah, fucking idiot.

Sometimes in America, when I do a set, they'll play it

land down under.

So offensive.

Yeah, it's offensive.

I'm coming in from the back, you know, I have to box my way out

corner.

People do that to me, too, or they like stereotype me.

What will they play?

You know that YG song?

Yeah.

Which one?

Plenty.

Don't come to play.

My brother, my brother.

Yeah.

My motherfucking brother.

You know that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they play the edited version.

They play the edited version of that song.

That's my walk-out music.

It's kind of like, you know, I want a theme song, like a new theme song for the show, though.

Like, to license something very expensive.

Is your current one licensed?

I thought it was we've it was licensed, and we had to stop using it because they demonetized all our videos.

We used to use arrest, I'm not arresting Michael Mann

might be vice Tubbs theme.

Yeah, yeah, but Tubbs got

word of it and shut us down.

Comtown used like the home home improvement,

demonetized, yeah.

Tim Allen fucking

was was like,

come out here and fight me.

Yeah, he's like that.

You know that?

You know him?

I don't know him.

I never met him.

Be excited to.

He's one of my favorite comedians, actually.

It was an homage, but he didn't understand it.

You know, he got arrested.

Most boring, over-told story on podcasts.

Yeah, do you...

Do you run any podcasts?

Do you listen to any podcasts?

Sports.

Soccer.

Sports.

Arsenal.

Soccer?

You're an Arsenal guy?

I I listen to Arsenal podcasts.

That's crazy.

I'm a Tottenham guy.

Fucking piece of shit.

That's because we're.

What do you think of Tottenham?

We're the Jewish club.

I know.

The yids.

We have a lot of.

Unfortunately, we have a lot of Jews.

Jewish fantasy.

I am.

Well, I love the coaches and Aussie.

I know.

And he's, but he got booed by you guys recently.

I think it's unfounded.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We got a backhand.

Sheera pasta Koglu.

Is that what they say?

What does it mean?

For a fat Aussie bastard and a shit football team.

Can you guys, can you cut that too?

Being an American

soccer fan is the lamest thing you can be.

It can be kind of cringe when.

It is the lamest kind of guy you can be.

Yeah.

Well, the things that get me is like, because in

a like in America, a penalty kick, they'll call it a PK.

But in the UK, they'll just call it a pen you know they'll call a counterattack like a fast break yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah which is like I don't even care about that terminology

but like what it is is like it's just like

on a like a whether it's not BC C like on a an office like email thread yeah like they will just send the most

like annoying reply alls like with a gif from like of like Dwight and like and Michael Scott like going like this or something It's those guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like these Ted lasso ass motherfuckers.

Yeah, they're new on it.

They just don't know.

They don't have as much as high of a

ball IQ as me.

They're not getting into the business.

I've tried going to the pub to watch

to the Arsenal pubs in NYC.

Which one is the Arsenal?

You can't be around these people.

Yeah.

There's one by my house that Spike Lee goes to.

That's crazy.

But he's like.

He's an Arsenal fan.

Yeah, but he's cursed.

We're fucked.

Every team he supports is dope.

Arsenal does pretty nice at the moment.

Stop it.

You got...

No, stop it.

Well, last season, you were kind of hotter a bit.

This season.

We should have won the league last season.

Sorry?

We should have won the league.

We should have, yeah.

But we lost, so you couldn't win.

Yeah, I know.

Son missed.

Okay, no one cares about this.

But I will say, so I've tried to go to the pub, and these guys are just so cringe that that I have to watch alone.

And so I have this experience of this team that literally just shits the bed every single year.

And they've hurt me.

Every year they hurt me worse and worse.

But I watch, it's a solitary experience.

I'm like a monk.

And like, because we get the games in the mornings,

by like 9 a.m., my entire weekend is ruined.

And I'm like a little bit hungover from the night before.

And I'm like, I feel terrible.

And I'm like alone.

And my girlfriend's like, oh, your team lost.

And I'm like, what do you you mean what do you mean oh your team lost terrible yeah just like oh your team lost like shut up shut up does affect everybody don't talk like it's just it's just like

just go read about a fucking fucking true crime horrific murder sorry I watch sports and you have to read about like just brutal murder but it doesn't affect them you know the murders don't affect them as much as they're just reading this terrifying crap and they're like oh my god

No, they're really reading that crap because they want to know about women whose lives are worse than theirs.

Yeah.

That's really why they like true crime.

Their lives are some of the worst lives.

Women.

Yeah, that's true.

Don't get me started on this.

Don't get me started.

No,

but...

No, but yeah, it is really horrible.

But when I was in London, they were playing Manchester City Away, but I watched it.

Did you go?

No, you

got to get tickets.

Yeah, yeah.

But like

I watched in like a pub with like all of these just absolute loser Arsenal fans I was like finally really this is embarrassing and cringe to say but I finally was like with my people like they were just like and the fact that they they blew it at the end yeah you know in stoppage stoppage time yeah and just like these guys were like again this you know like yeah like that like there were like i swear to god there were like six or seven like,

ancient men who, my friend was like, look, look, they keep going to the bathroom.

And I was like, they're doing cocaine.

Like, there were like 85.

I didn't get into it.

85-year-old like, uh, like, cab drivers who are just doing bumps and just, like, saying, like, you fucking cunt pep guardiola.

And I was like, this is the, this is, these are the coolest people I've ever been around.

What happens on game day

stays on game day?

I just didn't, I thought you were supposed to die.

Are you supposed to die from drugs?

They're so like they kind of need it to sustain themselves.

They probably are being kept alive by the coke.

By cheeky Coke.

Cheeky coke.

Cheeky bumps.

Just during the day, too.

It was like a 3 p.m.

kickoff.

They're like coming back and they're like, that's the vibe of it.

Yeah, they're like ordering it.

They love this kind of thing.

I took a picture with one of the guys and I was like, I was like, proud of my club.

I went to American

Los Angeles Tottenham bar, and one of these old blokes, he starts singing like all the Tottenham songs.

As soon as he stops singing,

the opponents score a goal.

It's pathetic.

So you.

So funny.

So you guys.

It's so funny.

What a shit team.

Won nothing.

Yeah.

What do you think of Tottenham?

Shit.

Well,

next couple of years is going to be good.

I like

I like nothing about you guys.

You know what's amazing is Harry.

People are going to hate this.

Is that Harry Kane?

Yeah.

Went to Germany.

He joined the club that wins every single year.

And McConnell wins.

And he didn't win.

And then he won the golden boot in Germany.

And you know what?

Did you see what the trophy was?

What is it?

It was a cannon.

That's so funny.

I hate him so much.

Is he literate?

He's not literate.

He's he's he can struggle.

He struggles with reading.

reading.

But he can read.

I was at a party

during COVID, actually.

Okay, nice.

It was a super spreader.

And

you know who Freddie Gibbs is?

Yeah, the rapper.

Yeah, he walked in, and I was like, wow, I'm a big fan of his.

And also, his Instagram stories, he's like the funniest person on Instagram.

Yeah.

And he walked in with two other guys and they were just on their phones in a circle like this.

And I was like, it's really pathetic to see rappers acting like stand-up comics at a party.

Yeah, maybe

Freddie.

They're probably trying out bits on each other and then going back on their phones.

Maybe he has social anxiety.

They were acting exactly like comedians.

Comedians.

And it was like, you're supposed to be cooler.

That's probably awesome for you.

For me?

To find that out, you know?

No, I was disappointed.

I wanted to

be rappers.

These are the people I look up to.

These are people I model my entire life.

They've got iPhones to, you know?

Yeah, they're just looking at their phones.

There were girls there.

I mean, what else we got, dude?

It's a holiday season, you know?

You're on the other side of the country.

You probably miss your family.

Oh, yeah.

Is it hard being so far away from home?

It's really difficult.

What do you do?

Every day is kind of a struggle.

It's painful.

Yeah, but I'm going to see the Rockets.

For Christmas.

Yeah.

Do they wear underpants or no?

I don't know.

Was that like hot to guys back in the day?

A can can line?

Yeah.

The kicking.

Hell yeah.

It's kind of going to be like that sexy to guys.

Otherwise, why would they do it, you know?

I mean, in this day and age, you can't get computer, dude.

I don't have to see, like,

I don't have to see that.

That's why you're not going to the bottom.

It was supposed to be like cheeky, like, you get a peek of the underpants vagina area.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe it was the combination of humor and

sex appeal.

Was it funny?

Because you know, the cheekiness.

Yeah, yeah.

It'd be like, oh, my gosh.

Yeah, but it's like you get like a 0.5 seconds of

guys are like, a woo-gah.

You know how that's most of comedy back then is like pretending like something,

but then it's actually like a fat guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Also, like,

they used to do this with their dresses.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I don't know, but it's sexy as fuck.

You like that guy?

Guys in old in Paris Times, they were like watching that, and they were like,

I'm gonna go home and beat off to this.

Yeah, yeah, to this, to a dress.

I didn't know that was the origin.

Dude, we're so lucky we have, like, Sidney Sweeney, and it's just so much better these days.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can see boobs now.

You could, if, yeah, you could if you wanted.

You could if you went on no fap I used to think that as a kid like that like

like now we're fucking but back then like it's impossible no one no one ever was a prude yeah but then my dad told me that his his grandmother had dementia and and when when you know she was a very old woman and he went to go see her in the hospital and you return to a childhood when you're in dementia and she was like

i i went to the boy i went to the forest with the the boys in russia and I pulled my dress up for them and stuff.

And I was like, people really did be fucking for a long time now.

I hope I don't get dementia and spill, you know?

What are you going to say?

Same kind of thing.

Yeah, you pulled your dress.

You went to the forest and pulled your skirt up.

Yeah.

I came up with that.

So sexy.

Oh,

yeah.

I don't know.

You know what's really do they have uh burlesque and comedy like in the same kind of zone in Australia?

Like burlesque comedy.

There used to be burlesque, like when I was in DC, there used to be like a burlesque and comedy show.

Yeah.

And it's the biggest bullshit in the entire world.

It's crazy, huh?

We don't really have that.

We have Empire Strips Back.

What is that, a Mike?

Is a Star Wars burlesque comedy type of thing and Shrek-lesque?

That's a nightmare.

Yeah.

Is that real or no?

It's real.

You're doing a bit parody theme.

It's true, yeah.

It was in LA as well.

Yeah.

Empire Strips Back.

Don't you think Princess Fiona looked better at the beginning of that movie?

Before Ogre, she looked like shit at the end.

Yeah.

Cut that.

All right.

All right, let's do your big closer.

My big closer.

Yeah.

You have a, you have a.

Do you ever think about your future?

No.

Thank you so much.

You say that to an audience?

You ever think about your future?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I say it when people like

when they go out for a cigarette and stuff.

You're kind of like,

what's going on?

Oh, you say it to like

women.

Yeah.

We should do that as like a street interview series.

I'd love to do that, yeah.

Yeah, like what the fuck are you?

Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Yeah, what do you

what do you yeah, what do you hope to get out of this?

Yeah, what's the fucking point of this?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

What the fuck is going?

Like,

do you ever think about dying?

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

You do?

It's kind of the worst thing ever, right?

Dying?

I don't know.

Really?

Yeah.

It's got to end at some point.

No, it doesn't.

You want it to keep going.

No,

of course, forever.

Yeah.

People are like, I would never take a pill to live forever.

I'm like, what are you, a fucking idiot?

That could be tough, you know?

Why?

Yeah.

Then you die.

People say,

my biggest fear is public speaking.

I'm like, what about fucking dying?

You're really scared of it.

I'm Mark Maron.

Thanks for joining us.

All right.

Thanks a lot.

Aaron Jen.

You want to plug some dates?

I will be in

the new year.

I will be in Spokane, Honolulu, and Sacramento.

Wow.

So go see him on the Spokane, Honolulu, Sacramento tour.

Do you have a name for the tour?

That's it.

What are you doing, Tor?

We the Crazy Guys tour.

We the crazy guys.

And then you're going to be back in Australia in the UK.

Yeah.

Do a few regional dates.

You're going to be in

Bolungalunga.

I'll say the actual names.

Yeah, say the dates.

Nari Warren.

Shut up.

G Long.

Toowoomba.

Toowoomba.

Toowoomba, yeah.

Yeah.

They got some big girls down there in Toowoomba.

You know, they got some big girls.

There was like a sewage problem in Toowoomba one year.

So, like, poo poo?

All the headlines were Pooomba.

Pooomba.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's.

Papa Papa.

All right, thanks a lot, Air Check.

Thank you, Adam.

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