The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Asad Benbow - Episode 76

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Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show off top, October 25th, 26th, Denver, Colorado.

They gave me 10 days to sell, I think, 1,200 tickets.

And

I think the Jewish

elders of Zion that run Hollywood, you know, this might be my last shot in show business.

So if you guys are in Denver, Colorado, please come out to Comedy Works Grey Club.

We were there with Nick for his special.

Phenomenal.

Hopefully we could catch lightning in a bottle twice.

Today's guest, Asad Bembo.

Yeah.

From MTV's Wild and Out.

Yeah.

are you yeah how many seasons just one I didn't want or maybe more well did they do that up in Harlem or is that that other show that's a different I don't know what that show is 109 106 and Park 106 and Park jokes damn if I was on that that'd be crazy is that I don't what's the are they very similar that was like the TRL for BET oh okay yeah yeah yeah but they had comics on it right

106 and park I was working on a different show that was up there and then I ran into somebody and they're like oh I'm on this maybe they were like a writer writer on one of the.

I didn't even know it existed anymore.

Oh, one of the things that wasn't.

I'm talking existing.

I'm talking about one of those.

This is about 35 years ago.

It was 35 years ago.

You were talking to DJ Clue?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was working on Rap City.

You were working at Rap City the Basement?

What was that guy's name?

The host of that?

Year 12.

Bro, I don't know any of that.

The original one?

Chris.

Chris something because he was a DC guy and he would come around.

Yeah, Chris, like,

yeah, something.

Because he did stand-up, right?

He did stand-up and he worked at the Wizards, and he used to be the hype man for the Washington TV.

He was friends with Ian Salmon, so he would come by Jackson.

I remember that guy.

He was the host of Rap City the Basement.

Yeah,

we used to hang out with

people on Black Entertainment Television.

They liked you?

Oh, they couldn't get enough of me.

Yeah, yeah.

That's tough.

No, that guy.

And then there was the guy from the Real World.

Well, where is Wild now then?

That's in Atlanta.

Oh, it's in Atlanta.

It's not even in the city.

No, but there's a lot of New York comics on it, aren't there?

There's a couple of people.

There's Maddie Smith, her.

Yeah.

That's it.

She's the one.

You know, Eagle with he's on there.

Okay.

This other guy, Lucas, this other guy, Joey.

Did they all have to move to Atlanta for that?

No, we just did.

They were there for a couple weeks and then came back.

Oh, so Wheel of Fortune, they shoot a year of the week.

Did you know that type shit is like that?

Did you know that Pat Sajak does that where he shoots like fucking he's like, we'll do the entire year in a like a week and a half?

Yeah, and then he he just fucks off for the rest of the year.

Yeah.

It's kind of, we try to do that with the podcast

back in the day.

We did like 21 episodes in a weekend once.

We rented a house upstate in the Berkshires.

You're in Troy, New York.

Yes, I did.

Oh, really?

Was it nice?

It was nice.

The house was nice, yeah.

A lot of difficulties doing that or no?

No, it was pretty difficult.

But you never did it.

What do you mean difficulty?

You never did it again.

No, we did it.

We did it like three years ago.

Yeah, three years.

Oh, deadass every year.

Yeah.

We do it with stealth.

In fact, if we hadn't done that,

the podcast probably would have ended earlier.

Really?

Yeah.

That is, that's.

It was a clever scheme on my part.

I saw the

ends fraying, and I said, well, what if we just, you know,

we did, we got rid of the holiday season, then we don't have to see each other.

And then you guys didn't have to do shit after that.

But then, actually, like, in January, we'd be ready to go again.

I think

it was like a refreshing thing.

And that's kind of why the show ended because we came back January this time and it was like, all right, let's pre-record another million episodes immediately.

That is what happened.

And then it was like, well, what the fuck?

Yeah, yeah.

So, Nick Cannon invited you to a freak off?

Yeah, he invited me to.

Yo, that's what my mom really believes that, actually.

Your mom is concerned about you in the entertainment industry.

Yeah, she's very good.

Your moms do that.

You'll find success, and then they'll be like, you didn't get great,

did you?

Well, actually, that's not necessary.

Certainly not.

She's proud.

She's very proud.

That's how I'd be feeling.

I'd be feeling like, damn, I must be ass.

Yeah, right.

Your mom does not believe that.

Your mom just assumes that you sucked someone's.

That I'm out here sucking dick.

That's right, yeah.

That is crazy.

But

well, I don't even know.

If I assume is Nick Cannon a good plus the Cat Williams shit, it's a bunch of different shit.

I feel like that just makes people think that that's what they'd be doing in the industry, which is probably true.

But you said, What do you mean the Cat Williams thing?

Like the interview when he's like talking about I thought you were saying that Cat Williams does that.

No, he doesn't do it.

It would be weird if he found out that he was like blowing some guy that wrote all his jokes.

No, he was the opposite.

He said that every

he's been offered a role where he's like to uh where he's had to cross-dress dress like 25 30 times yeah and he said but he will never put the dress the reality is he's just too good at stand-up in real yeah it's they probably people don't want to give him shots because it's like well you're the best at this so why

you think really why i think across the board that's what happens to people i think no he's gotten the shots but every time he has to put the dress on that the jews want him to put on like he said he never will i think kevin hart will i think if you're only okay at things

and you can find some success in the entertainment industry then then they'll be like oh well we'll try let's try this let's try this and that's how people get multiple things but if somebody's like really good at something then who do you feel like is really good and and but

and hindered by it yes well i would say him yeah really you're so good that you're no not him i would say i was making i was accentuating my point adam's not good at anything that's why he gets so many opportunities yeah yeah do you he was he

well he did modeling early

yeah i bro i was showing my friends that you modeled and that shit yesterday people like yo that got people see him and they're like well this this isn't it Would you like to model a model?

Would you like to model?

No.

But exactly, but you don't even want to model, though.

I don't.

But I'm not saying me.

I'm not saying I'm so talented that people don't give me opportunities.

No, that's true.

I'm lazy.

I'm an objectively handsome guy.

Yeah, why wouldn't you want to model?

No, it's not a lot of people.

I mean, it's not about wanting to model that.

It's about that, like,

yeah.

The real thing in life, to just impart wisdom upon a youth, is just to be so overtly untalented at everything.

So that people just like to be able to do that.

But so present.

But yeah, you got to be around.

You got to show up.

I think you're not wrong.

I don't even show up.

No,

I did model, but I think it was just a gimmick casting.

I don't think it was because I was beautiful.

I mean, it's definitely not because I was beautiful.

It's not because you were beautiful, but I feel like that's still fine.

Man of 30s.

Does that make you feel ass or not?

So check this out.

Yo, that's cool as.

I got the King Crab Orange Yeti, which we've heard about before.

Yo, all your shit is on purple.

I know, that's what I'm going to say.

There will be more drops coming soon, but Ridge Wallet has hooked up the

perfectly matching wallet.

And I got the key case from Ridge.

And I got a lot more than that, and we'll be hearing about it.

Let's hear about it.

Is there any place that you could get, like, would submit, like, be like, yo, we want to do an ad for you that you would say no to?

Ridge is a geek.

Yo, and the orange geek bar.

Yeah, yo, that's actually crazy.

This is his, and it doesn't actually match.

It's a little bit.

Yes, it does.

It definitely does.

No, no.

I think it matches even better than the wallet.

No, it doesn't.

I think it does, dude.

That's quite embarrassing that the geek.

First day of school, yeah, but you have to throw this out at some point.

And they just stopped making this flavor.

Really?

Yeah.

You seen that people put all different types of shit on there?

No, I haven't.

But Ridge Wallet, thank you very much.

I had to upgrade from the...

I had the gold one for years the last time they sent us free stuff.

And then you got rid of yeah because i'm i'm i'm into matching now yeah wait why i don't know i like it

you feel you're drip right i used to make up excuses because i have like brand loyalty so years ago i got like a sony tv so i had to get a sony amplifier and then sony speakers now you could get better speakers but i had to like i wanted it to match And then I would say to people, like, oh, well, it's because if something goes wrong and I call customer service and they try to blame it on the other thing, you'd be like, great, well, that's your shit also.

But that was a lie.

I did it because I like seeing the name Sony, no matter where I look in my apartment.

I fuck with Sony.

Yeah.

I do.

I do fuck with Sony.

I feel like why are you laughing?

You remember Kobe?

Kobe was the fake Sony.

Who's the fake Sony?

Is that really?

He was like the Tijuana son.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dink.

I'm trying really, what else?

Sony stuff?

Sony, yeah.

Sony Walk, man.

That That was a big one.

Was that big?

That was good for you?

I didn't have a Sony Walkman, but that was like the big.

Sony created, I think, like fucking walking around listening to music.

It's just hard for me.

I wish I don't really have an opinion.

It's hard for me to have an opinion on the Walkman because it's really much before my time.

It's kind of before our time, even.

The Walkman was.

Yeah.

You were just listening to iPod or something?

Yeah, I guess

iPod is lit.

Yeah, that was.

It had the jog wheel, which was the smartest thing in the world because

you can keep scrolling.

Did that get you bitches or no?

Yeah, I would.

Women would fuck you if they saw you listening.

With an iPod deadass?

I'd be like, have you heard of

the killers?

And I'd put it on.

Are you deadass?

Yeah, and then

you're sick with me.

Yeah, yeah.

Have you heard of the AIDS album?

What was the joke?

It was on a TV show where someone only has that two princes

song on their

fucking

iPod.

What's on it?

For the Spin Doctors, Two Princes.

What's that from?

There's a TV show.

I don't know.

Where the joke is that that's the only song.

Two Princes?

Yeah, they only have that song.

What song is that?

How's that song?

By the Spin Doctor.

I can't even remember.

Pull it up on your phone.

No, no, that's Roll to Me by Del Amichi.

It's not even the Spin Doctors.

You got some smart fellas.

Yeah, we're pretty much the smartest guys you know.

So your mom's nervous about you in the entertainment thing.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that is true.

Do you have to mark yourself safe?

No.

Oh, I don't know.

I'm scared about it.

I don't want to, honestly.

I want to, well, I'd be playing it pretty safe, but then also I want to do some fucked up shit right now, so then later on that you can't, they can't.

You got to get it out of the way.

Yes, exactly.

I'm genuinely scared about that.

I feel like, because it's like.

You should make a video of you burning a cat to death.

You know what I mean?

Because then you do that, and then they can never get you after for some shit like that.

You know what I mean?

Which I would be more scared if you go into it the whole time.

You're not wrong about that.

I've done it pretty smart.

That kind of happened with

Artie.

Remember, there was like that ESPN anchor where he started tweeting about how he jacks off, imagining he's the slave master and she escaped.

Sure.

And then

probably all terrorists.

You're right.

And then people on Twitter were trying to cancel Artie, and then they would like post, they would be like, Can you believe what this man said?

And then when it was gaining traction, they'd post a picture of Artie next to what he said.

And it's like, oh, of course.

Of course.

Yeah, right.

And then he like, and he didn't apologize, but it was like, he, it's like, because he didn't have to, you know what I mean?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

So that's what you want.

And so that's probably what.

I feel like even y'all probably have done that in a way.

Like, nobody can really get you on some shit probably later on.

I don't think we have enough of a profile to.

But if you did, though, like randomly over

just got up.

Nick had an IBM commercial canceled.

Oh, really?

Because of his checkered past.

Man, fuck those people, yo.

I had a couch.

Actually, that's what I've modeled twice now that I realize it.

But I was on Subway Ads

for a couch company.

That's hilarious.

And they had to take it down because the fans were fucking with it too much.

No, the fans were just saying, come town, I'm gay.

Yeah, there was

a commercial.

Oh, never mind.

Maybe that is hell and torture then.

I mean, it's fine.

Yeah, there you go.

They didn't let you.

I don't know.

I still feel like it could be worse, though, that you could still, they could get you for some.

At least it's like.

Well, it's not an SA.

It's not an essay accusation exactly but then you get one and people probably would just laugh it off right or actually no they will they won't like you either i don't think the yeah you haven't really finessed nothing i don't think essay accusations are did you see this tim walls thing no there's some guy on youtube who's his like display name is black insurrectionist and his

his his username is doc net youtube it's like you know translated to english from fucking like a defunct type of chinese it's like not even a real name.

And he posted like three days ago, he's like, I just got this email.

I've been waiting to put this out here, but I just want to compile all the evidence first.

And it's like, hi, I'm a foreign exchange student.

I came to the U.S.

in the 90s and Tim Walls took me to an Indigo Girls concert and sucked my cock.

And then he's like, I will be posting more information throughout the day.

And like, they're just like running away with it.

But they're like, I mean, you can see his cursor blinking and the emails and like the dates are weird and stuff.

Like, there's people like debunking it, but it's also,

it's like one of those things where you don't even need to get to the point of debunking it because it's just so like,

yeah, it's crazy.

Right.

I mean, it's like the fact that the campaign wouldn't figure that out beforehand.

Yeah, that he was, and that's why he acted.

It wasn't the DOI.

It wasn't the DOI.

It's because he was sucking off Chinese foreign exchange students at Indigo Girls concerts.

Oh, man.

I didn't watch the vice presidential debate, but apparently he got worked by J.D.

Vance.

I wouldn't say he got worked, but he didn't do as well.

He didn't do good.

It's my first year of voting.

Well, I didn't watch that shit either.

It's also your last year of voting.

Yeah, really?

You think so?

Oh, that's hilarious.

I don't know.

No, because that's the thing.

You get older, so you're like, it just keeps getting worse, but it's kind of always been getting worse.

It's terrible.

And then you get older, and you you want to like you know you're gonna die like our lives are half over probably more than

more than that probably and it goes by so quickly that you're like well if i'm gonna die i want everyone else to make you sad or do you kind of what's that that that you're you feel like

it's like no it's just sort of like oh wow okay all right

damn you know that sucks you can never get that back you can never get that back you can never get anything but you have what you have right but you have what you have right now and that's valid

i guess yeah

So, you've never had sex?

No.

Why do you want to bring that up right now?

You said we could bring it up on the show.

I said that you could.

You said you can't.

You suggested it as a topic.

I didn't, but

you just wanted to pull out your back pocket.

Wait, it's fine that you haven't had sex.

You're 21 years old.

I'm not saying that it's not fine that I haven't had, that I get no pussy, but I feel like it's just more so.

I just wasn't expecting that, to be honest.

You're probably a better person.

You can talk about it.

A better person because of it.

Nick had sex

at like 15, and he never had to.

Eight years old.

At eight years old.

He never had to develop the stunning, the shining personality you have because he was around.

I feel like that's not necessarily true.

I think it's true.

Yo, I thank you that you feel that, but I feel like Nick also has a shining personality as well.

I think so, too.

He's always looking for ways to undercut.

I was trying to build him up, okay?

To my detriment.

Oh, slightly.

This is exactly what they're doing in Iran, right?

And you didn't even bring it up.

You didn't even care about the Iranian people.

Oh, I just thought it was bad as

the Palestinians.

Everything gets worse.

In this example, I'm the Palestinians.

Yeah, you did that.

So I'm the Palestinians, clearly.

You didn't even have a real clear, well, I guess, segue.

At least Israel knows what they want to get out of it.

Because you didn't even know what you wanted to say to me.

Like, you brought up my virginity, but you didn't even know that.

I just thought it was a funny, abrupt segue.

You just throw that out of the way.

You're saying a genuine thing about how the world keeps getting worse.

I didn't even have an idea.

We were halfway through our life, and I was like, oh, so you've never had sex?

You know, it was kind of an abrupt segue.

Israel is trying to, like, they got plans on what they're gonna do my fear is that Israel

I don't know what

Israel loses the war and think about all the great Israeli apps we won't have access to yeah there's a lot of gay sex apps a lot of gay sex stuff yeah a place where you can rate drones you know like it's like a community for other drones like RC enthusiasts and you can meet them a lot of stuff called like hello hello five yeah and it's worth like two point three billion I think that that that is the whole like Israeli app tech sector is the money laundering operation.

Potential.

You can look up any Israeli, any person that lives in Israel on LinkedIn, and they're the CEO of a tech company.

Really?

And yes, any single one of them.

And the tech company, it's always like, yeah, it's Hello Social, where you can meet other entrepreneurs.

And it's like, what does that mean?

I think that's not a business.

They're most successful.

And they all have

at birth, they all get one of the little microphones.

Yeah, this is, you know, they get the Bluetooth headset, right?

And they're always at a crypto conference.

Yeah, they're doing a TEDx.

Right.

They're not even doing the real TED talk.

And that's like half of their economy is guys that just do that.

They go to places and they're like, I could not be more excited about the developments in this space.

And nobody knows like what,

but what is anybody actually doing here?

And then it's just somehow they get, there's investor money, probably from criminals.

Yeah, I mean, potentially.

I mean, I think Uber is, I think, probably money laundering still.

They don't make any money.

Yeah.

Uber is Israel.

We don't know what Uber is.

People think maybe the Saudis.

Are you dead ass?

I don't know.

That sounds right, but I don't know.

I haven't really looked into it.

Yeah,

but they've never made money.

They've never made money?

No, it's never been profitable.

Uber?

No.

Are you dead ass?

Yeah.

Why do they do that?

Because it's probably because someone's trying to launder money through it.

Oh, I couldn't.

I could be completely wrong.

That's crazy.

I think Uber makes money.

Do they?

Yeah.

I thought they lost billions every year, and it's still worth billions.

Didn't they start making money at some point?

And that's why

we're going to be able to do it.

That's why Uber costs.

The plan was always like, hey, we'll undercut cab, like, car services.

And then once we've done that, then we'll jack up the prices to

$95 for a

mile and a half ride.

Yeah, you remember in LA when Uber first got there, it was like four dollars for like an hour and a half like a ride across town.

No, no, like you're like go into like went into like a new city, it would just be nothing, it'd be like dirt cheap.

And I remember when you were working on that TV show, like Uber was like literally $6, and it'd be like for like you know, sitting sitting in traffic for 10 hours.

It's crazy now when I go on the road, the Uber to the airport, going to the airport and coming home costs like half the price of a flight to another city oh yeah yeah oh yeah

that is true yeah it's like it's sometimes it's over a hundred dollars to go to jfk i i won't go to jfk i'll go to newark more do you have the option i mean like oh you go to newark i will at this point

the last like three times i've been in jfk it's taken me like an hour and a half to get home Just because like they they stop the cars from being able to pick you up at the curb.

You have to take a bus to the Ubers Ubers now.

It's really.

I take a cab if I am at the airport, I'll take a cab home.

Yeah, because that's what I do now.

But now the cab lines are like 300

people waiting.

They go pretty quick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yo.

What's the first one?

Calci?

Yeah,

Cal She.

All right, guys.

I want to talk to you guys about Cal She podcast.

Oh, no.

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After years of working with the the federal government,

this sounds scary.

It sounds great, actually.

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So you guys

rush over there and be one of the first five traders.

Why don't you tell them about some of the stuff you've bet on on Calci, Adam?

I've bet on different events and such.

I bet on

Wilden Out.

Really?

On the red team or the black team winning.

Yeah, they don't even know.

No, it's not even red or black team.

What does it know?

It's old school and new school.

I bet on that shit.

So it's a generational thing?

They make old people.

Yeah, now it's the old people versus new people.

But it might not be.

It also, there are older people, there might be people that are older on the older, on the new team, but it's just more so like how long they've been on the show.

Oh, okay.

How long they've been like, so it's like, if you've been on the show for a longer, there's a certain amount of reasons.

Is there anyone that's in their late 50s that's getting wild and out?

And they're like, they're like, this is it?

He's in the new school.

I always think about whenever I watch a commercial and it's like, you know, we knew grandma wasn't getting her medicine fast enough.

And then it's like, this, like,

they're always like full of themselves, like an 85-year-old white lady that's a commercial actress yeah you know and then like they don't have a career otherwise yeah

and uh i always just imagine them like i booked a commercial you know and it's like you're about to die she had a guy to get that job

you're

so close to death and you know that they're probably awful they're probably like high worst grandma in the world exactly yeah grandma's a narcissist yeah exactly narcissist grandma and that's who's booking those commercials and every time i because you know i watch i still have cable so i watch tv and it's like any show, we go to commercial break, and it's like, my plaque psoriasis was fucking, that's the only thing that it's old people commercial, it's old people, it's medicines and stuff.

Yeah,

Fox News has the best ones, yeah.

They always have, well, it's not even Fox, it's literally, I thought, because I thought it was just Fox, but it's fucking every TV channel, yeah, every channel, yeah.

They got to do that to get their bills paid and nothing like that.

Unless you're, I was watching Shark Tank the other night, and that's all like, you know, it's like fucking that, you know, the room at City Field where you can get a little table

like a bar yeah but then you watch the game but then it's also I don't know but they have a commercial for that and it's like this is where we close all our business deals

it's like thinking that the people that watch shark tank are businessmen

like that's either they're like oh where should we advertise for business stuff how about on shark tank yeah yeah that's what leaders the industry leaders are watching yeah anyway so cow she you can bet on

anything on Shark Tank.

You could bet on.

You can bet on Shark Tank.

You bet on Shark Tank.

Yeah.

You bet on the odds of

when Assad

will have sex.

I wasn't going to say that.

Oh,

I was going to say star in his first major motion picture.

Yo, thank you.

Damn, fuck.

You actually wanted the best for me.

I'm sorry.

I was going to say that.

And that's because I've been let down on that.

What do you think your first big movie is going to be?

Something with a robot.

He's going to be a star, everyone.

Just hope so.

He's going to be like a kid.

I got the fucking robot.

but i don't want to do it wrong though i don't want to on my own accord not not no bullshit how what's the right way to do it i don't know what i mean by that actually

but i don't know it just this should be looking scary but i um what first motion picture would i be um robe i think robe but you got to do a robot a robot why robot is that my vibe to you yeah that you'd be friends i feel like black nerd best friend robot yeah you don't have any friends and you have no friends but you really got

he's like he's like i got cancer but oh I want you to have my fucking robot before I die.

That's a good idea.

I know.

He's like the super in your building, and no doubt your

toilet's backed up again.

And he's like, Listen, I'm about to kill myself.

Yeah.

But I'm working on this for 85 years.

It's a fucking robot.

And I want you to have the robot.

Yeah, yeah.

And then the robot's like, I will beat up the guys that are made you at school.

Yeah.

And they beat up the bullies.

And then that's the end of the movie.

But then he tells.

And then the movie ends.

No, they're dead.

They're just lying there in a pool of blood.

And then you become the superintendent of the building.

Yeah, then you get a job

unclogging toilets.

Yeah, that'd be a cool movie.

It's called the coolest kid in school.

It's called Cool Robot.

Cool Robot.

That's funk.

Damn, I thank you guys for the.

I really.

You got to get to work, dude.

You got to start writing rubber.

You guys really did.

We're feeding new gold

you got to bet on it

and you could bet on it at cost you using our promo code tafs with your first 50 deposit if you're the first 500 uh depositors you get twenty dollars but talk about let's talk about some of the things you've bet on at kalshi kaushi

um

i've bet on uh

uh

you could bet on the war in uh uh

ukraine you bet

people forget that that one's they're about to lose that are they about to lose oh yeah Russia's gonna Russia's gonna take it all they got apparently they got North Koreans fighting there now oh yeah

no one's watching it so this is this is world war ratings they're already in it I don't because that's to me if I named all the countries I could think of there's probably 10 I could name all of them are at war right now so that's a world war

Canada's not at war yes they are are they fucking India did you not see this no

the Indian government has has like, and this has been, I've been losing my mind.

They've had, they've had like,

what is it called?

The

Kalashi movement or something.

It's called Kalchi, I think, is the name of it.

Yes, there's a thing.

No, the Indian government's like, I guess there's an Indian mafia in Canada, and they're, I barely have looked into this, but I think they're killing Sikhs because the Sikhs have a separatist movement that they support in Canada that in like the Punjab region, they want to set up like an autonomous state.

So Canada's accused India of backing the these like

this like mafia tactics in Canada to go after so they're taking hits out on Sikhs something like that and so Canada or India is like now like severing diplomatic ties and oh they're mad they're mad but they might go to war with Canada that's crazy yeah that is not my problem yeah yeah I'm sending that one out it I mean actually I might watch that one on TV I don't really know how things work but how things are being set up for China to just fucking sweep

is nuts.

Like, China's just going to come out on top.

They're just letting everyone.

We're at the, like, it's about to be World War III, right?

Who saw India, Canada?

You saw that one coming.

That's a leap.

Every country.

Every country's going to war, and then China's just like, well, we're figuring out who we want to do business with.

Yeah, we do.

Probably, yeah, everybody.

China is the best at the wait-and-see approach.

Yeah, yeah.

So, what does that mean?

They wait and see, and then what does that mean?

Just let everyone

let everyone kind of blow each other.

Everyone go nuts, and then they just

be awesome in 10 years when the only two countries in the world are China and Taiwan.

And they're like, no, we literally don't want Taiwan.

Fuck.

We never wanted Taiwan.

That was always a trick.

We wanted to make India and Canada fight.

You're not concerned at at all?

You feel like we're chilling though?

I mean, what's going to happen?

I live in New York City.

Somebody's going to bomb the greatest city in the world.

I don't think so.

No one's ever attacked New York City once.

Yeah.

In my lifetime or never, I've been chilling.

You were born after 9-11?

Yes, bro.

That shit is not.

That couldn't really not be that.

That's crazy.

No, that's one of those things you don't have to worry about.

And that's what I mean by

you get older and you're like, fuck, I'm going to die.

But then you're like, wait, what if everyone dies?

And then it's like, oh, that's fine.

Yeah, no, I'm really chilling.

I'm just trying to live my shit good.

Yeah.

You feel me?

I'm trying to.

You got to get a second season wild now.

Cool robot.

I need to get a cool robot.

I think

on some level,

maybe it's specific to Americans, or I'm just projecting, but the idea of a world war kind of like removes any obligation to have any responsibilities in your life.

Like if the bomb started going off, it's like, well, I wouldn't have to pay rent or my bills.

I wouldn't have to worry about my career.

I could just be a loser because I would be eating crackers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd get cavities.

Right.

It's like, I don't know.

now.

It doesn't have as much, I have as much junk food as I want.

Right.

Who gives a fuck?

I get my like newsie cap and my crutches, and I just wait in the breadline.

I'm like, yeah, I would have been like, fucking, I could have been the best comic, but the war.

But the war, dude, it's not my fault.

Yeah.

Damn, yo.

Well, are you upset right now?

No, I'm not upset at all.

I'm not going to lie.

Y'all just

aren't scared right now?

No, I'm not even scared or nervous.

Y'all just talking about some whole shit that I just wanted to.

Well, I'll help you out, dude, if the if the wars are.

No, no, no.

I don't mind talking about that.

I feel like you should talk about it.

This is educational.

Is it worth after 9-11?

You don't have to do that.

How do people talk?

How do people like?

And you can bet on it.

I don't read.

I feel like y'all talking about some shit.

But at school, they were like, there was something called 9-11.

I think we need to talk about call she a little bit more than just oh, yeah, you gotta call about

more than just saying the name of it.

Call she, it's a it's a it's a service where you can bet on anything, basically.

You bet on and do they have a website or something

you haven't even selled.

I said it.

Call she.com.

People can't even hear what you're saying.

Call she.com slash T A F S, guys.

You're drunk out of your mind.

I'm wasted.

It's 9 a.m.

Man.

You got a problem.

Guys, it's the first legal exchange.

They got legal approval from the federal government to bet on anything.

All the other

events are illegal.

They operate offshore.

And everyone knows that breaking the law is not cool.

It's cool to use a legal

Judas Priest.

Yeah.

Yeah, guys, so they have that, I guess they have trading hours.

So it opens up at 8 a.m.

and it closes at 11.59.

So you're like a businessman.

For scheduled maintenance.

This isn't like the other gambling websites.

It's like you're only looking at 2 a.m.

on the markets.

Yeah.

It,

yeah, so it's open on the weekends too.

You could like,

Yeah, it closes I guess on the weekends at 10 for scheduled maintenance.

I guess that's where

that's where the janitor comes in.

He's like I gotta clean up this website before I work on my fucking robot.

It's bizarre.

Yeah, it's the

website gets gets messy.

Yeah, so basically the deal is first 500 people that join and

they give a $20

bonus to you when you join with our code and deposit $100.

So why don't you talk about some of the stuff you've bet on on Kalshi?

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

What about you?

Sex.

Sex.

You bet on prostitutes.

How can you bet on prostitutes?

You race them.

You hire them and make them run around your apartment.

That's true.

And

naked.

I don't know.

You bet on naked?

And you put...

This guy's not a bad person.

And you put them with

pictures on their face.

You you put pictures of the prostitutes on their face of other women on their faces yeah of you make them run around like a three-card money thing you gotta get

of um of ex-lovers on the on their face and then you make them run around with money with money and you can bet on all that a call she.com slash t-a-f-s k-a-l-s-h-i-si.com slash t-a-f-s t-a-f-s k-a-l-s-h-i call she

And guys, I mean, this is an exciting

opportunity.

It's a huge deal.

It's a huge deal.

They just got historic regulatory approval from the CFTC.

I don't think you guys understand how hard that is.

That's fucking impossible.

Yeah, you really got to be on your P's and Q's, crossing every T, dotting every I,

making sure that you're not scamming people.

Yeah, for sure.

When you're dealing with a CFTC, certainly.

The Consumer Financial Transaction Commission.

Yeah, and they've never approved

a service like this before.

So this is...

I can't believe it.

You buy.

I'm aghast, honestly.

This is insane.

Once in a lifetime.

That's actually what that Talking Head song is about.

It's about this.

Yeah, yeah.

It's approval of.

Highlight a sense of urgency.

it's uh whether that's in the trade slash event itself or the deposit window

what does that mean so put on your best suit sit down at the computer you're basically walk uh set an alarm for

6 a.m get up do your jump rope next to your fucking telescope yeah do your crunches take your shower i could do a thousand and then put on your best suit and sit down on your your desktop computer at home and go to kalshi.com and log in and start doing some financial transactions legally.

Legally.

On any event.

On any event.

On any event.

This is, guys, I can't.

Should we check out this website?

We're giving them like 20 minutes.

Which one calls?

So you still like, you be having fun, though?

Like, you are, right?

Yeah.

Well, nah, I just want to ask the one.

Yeah, I mean, fuck.

Do I not look like a guy that has fun?

I mean,

not really.

All my shit matches.

Yeah.

Whoa, but yeah, no, I'm trying to think.

I've been sad the last month because I finished God of War Ragnarok.

Oh, so now you got to finish it.

And you finished the Lyndon Johnson book, too.

I did, yeah.

You really don't have anything.

I don't have things right now.

Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't really have anything.

Is there any new shit that you wanted to get into or something?

You kind of have to just sort of let things come to you, you know.

I didn't even play

because I played the last God of War, and that was like, ah, whatever, you know.

But then this one, I was like, fuck it, I was bored.

I need something to do.

That shit was fire.

Ran the best spot.

It's actually not.

It's a really bad game in almost every way.

Damn.

The story is gay.

The fucking.

Yeah, no.

He was playing the game pissed.

The art looks like shit.

Like, half of the levels are very uninspired and dumb.

The story is boring and repetitive.

It's all like.

You play video games with your girlfriend or she doesn't fuck with that?

No.

Do you wish she did, though?

No.

Why not?

Well, I like having a bad thing.

You need that validation.

I like to have something that causes problems.

It's not me.

Does she add to that?

Does she put you on any cool shit like your girlfriend?

Yeah, certainly.

But let me finish complaining about the game.

Oh, yeah, the game.

Talk about shit on the game.

Let me complain about the game for a second.

Everything about it is bad,

but it gave me something to do for two months.

And I went, I said, we're going to the hardest difficulty and we're grinding it out.

And 99% of the difficulty is the fact that you can only use half the screen is the back of his head.

So so you can't see anything.

Oh, it's over the shoulder, it's over the shoulder, and you're constantly just like there's some like fucking like guy just throwing poison at you from like the other side, so you'll you can't focus on anything.

You're constantly having to like back up and try to see what's going on.

Have you heard about the Chinese monkey game, the new game?

Everyone's monkey game game?

Yeah, bro, I watched that.

Yeah, I did.

Oh, you're excited about that.

The Chinese monkey.

I'm sorry.

So you should maybe try.

Godawin or Ragnarok.

No, I fuck with God.

It almost won game of the year, which I think went.

The Chinese monkey game is actually a shitty game.

It should not have a year.

The Chinese Monkey Game isn't good.

It is a shitty game.

That's an actual game.

It should not have Game of the Year.

You should play one game a year.

There should not be a game where

there's guys playing every game.

I fuck with that.

Like it's movies.

How do they play every game and beat every game?

Are they that good of video game?

They're fast, yeah.

They must get so much pussy, though.

I think they play on the easiest.

They definitely do.

They play on the easiest and they're bad.

Dude, you got to blow the whistle on these nerds.

Yeah.

I think that's what Gamergate was about.

I think that's why Donald Trump became president.

Is that girls are playing on baby?

Well, no, yeah, because people were reviewing games made for girls, and they're like, they're great.

And then guys were like, no, they're not.

They're not hard.

No one's named Kratos.

It's an magic.

What's that, like, Animal Crossing?

Animal Crossing.

That's for the girl game.

You don't fuck with Animal?

Oh, yeah, I don't know Animal Crossing anyway.

There's no objective in Animal Crossing.

You just fucking have a house.

Dead ass.

Yeah, there's nothing to do, really.

What is it?

It's like you farm or something.

You just make a villa.

You have a farm.

You don't even farm.

town.

You don't even farm.

You have a house in a town.

You go talk to a bird that's like, have you seen my games?

You change their outfits.

I like it.

That's kind of cool, though.

You play that?

No, I just have seen it from afar.

You're really into what?

Roblox or whatever?

I do fuck with Roblox.

What is it?

Fortnite?

It's Legos.

It's online, Legos.

It's Legos, the online.

And your parents have to spend a lot of money for the expansion pack?

Bro, I've stole my mom's credit card so many times to get Roblox.

To get Roblox VC, bro.

I have a full.

I I have a full.

This is what I know about.

This is what I'm talking about.

I know more about that.

To be honest, well, yeah, I can talk about Galaxy Gas and Roblox.

That's what I can talk about.

Yeah.

You know The Hood?

There's a game called The Hood in Roblox, and they go on there and they have gangs and have gang wars in Roblox.

Has anyone died in real life off Roblox?

I don't, not to my knowledge, but maybe, but I don't know.

That seems more like of a Latino thing.

I'm just

deadass.

But that seems like very much.

Actually, Yo Soy Bodiqua, dead ass.

Exactly.

I'm actually Latino.

You are?

Yeah.

You're a Latino.

I got a lot in flavor, a lot in spice.

Oh, you do?

Wow.

Yeah.

On what side?

Your mother or your father?

Yeah, my mom is Puerto Rican.

Wow.

All right.

So that does seem like some Latino crazy shit, though.

They would kill each other over Roblox.

Holmes.

Yeah, or like The Nightmare Before Christmas.

There's probably been

Latino-related murders

over like

Saints Row.

Yeah.

Yeah, the games that are like free after nine years.

Yeah, Call of Duty Mobile.

Yeah,

phone-based

Spanish guys killing shit.

Yo.

Alright, I'm happy.

Over so base, over.

They take that shit serious.

Actually, somebody did, well, Flappy Bird, but I guess he wasn't Latino.

Someone died over Flappy Bird?

Yes, bro, the creator killed himself.

Oh, why?

Because that shit got too big for him, I think.

Is that not true?

He just fucked.

I don't want to give you false information.

He couldn't be happy.

Yeah, because he got so big or something,

and then he killed himself.

I remember that happening.

There's one of those.

I saw Hassan taking shots at some Twitch streamer that plays World of Warcraft or something.

Because his career is that he plays World of Warcraft and he goes on Twitch and he's like, okay, I'm a dwarf.

And oh, look, I got gold.

And it gets millions and millions of views.

There's like 80 million people tune in every week, and he's like, oh, I got a necklace.

Does that make you upset?

No, I don't care.

But then he was like, honestly, fuck the Palestinians and fuck everyone.

And now people are mad at him.

So now Hassan's player hating this guy.

Yeah, no, now Hassan's mad at him.

And it's like, it's like, hold on, because it's sort of this whole stay-in-your-lane kind of thing.

But let's not forget that Hassan

doesn't actually really play any games.

So it's actually Hassan that sort of invaded this space.

In the world of

playing baby games on the internet, Hassan is Israel.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, he's occupying Israel.

And then he's really calling him out on that.

What's that?

The gamers are the Palestinians.

The gamers are the Palestinians.

Yeah,

the dwarves are the Palestinians.

I think Hassan did a Rubik's Cube on Twitch once.

That's as close as he's ever gotten to play.

Playing video games.

And he's like, okay, so.

keep going?

Okay, so, hold on.

Can I make my shirt bigger somehow?

Okay, so

the red square, you have to line them up, okay, guys?

Hey, I'm fucking doing it, okay, chat.

You, why don't you get your own fucking Rubik's Cube?

Dude,

the one time I went to his house and he was doing his streaming, there were like you said he had the like PS2P into his vacuum cleaner.

They They time his pissing.

Yeah.

The way it is hell, yeah.

He keeps his vacuum on his cock and he just pisses it off.

Yeah, that's supposed to vacuum his

cock.

He has to vacuum his ass.

But then he has two vacuums.

One goes shoved into his ass.

He's got an ass vacuum and a cock.

And that's why if you

listen closely to his stream, you can always hear the

and then when it goes it goes ooooo that's when he's shitting.

Yeah.

When it gets louder.

Hold on.

Because the device is struggling.

That's some fucked up shit.

And that's what the Chinese are going to do.

Is that worth it, though?

Or, you know what I mean?

The Dyson?

100%.

No, not even the Dyson.

Just like.

But, like, I don't know.

I guess not.

Is that worth it?

You know what I mean?

He's very wealthy.

He's worth like $700,000, dude.

Of course, it's worth it.

He's one of the richest guys we know.

I feel like you guys don't know people richer than that.

No.

I figure, Tro,

I don't know how to fuck.

But, nah.

I might have 800,000.

But just, I'm just mean to have all that money, but his life is ass.

That sounds nothing.

You know what I mean?

I challenged him on this previously.

I said, what if you meet the love of your life?

She wants to go out for a coffee date the next day.

Yeah, and you can't.

But you have streaming, and he's.

She's just going to stream.

He's just going to stream.

Damn, they beat that guy, bam, man.

That's fucked up.

Yeah, yeah.

No, but he wants.

I think that's what he wants.

I guess so.

I think that's what he wants.

Because I think he's just afraid.

He's afraid to stop it.

He's afraid of

touching grass.

And that's what they're doing to Ryan's World.

What's that?

That's also some baby shit.

That's some really baby shit.

Ryan's World?

Never mind.

Never mind.

It really is.

It's about a baby kid that plays with toys, and then he's getting old, and they're like, stop letting him do that.

Is it like Daniel Tiger's neighborhood?

Maybe.

It's probably like, they definitely probably have a lot of fan crossover, maybe.

Wait, so he's like a

YouTuber that he plays with toys.

It was a little boy, but now he's a big boy, and now it's like

mad long.

And he's like, yes, and people are like, yo, free, free Ryan.

Like, tell us backwards.

Dead ass.

They don't want our boy to play with toys anymore?

No, well, but he doesn't either.

Like, he got, you could hear it in his voice.

Like, he's getting old.

He's broken.

No, it looks like they're just, it's old.

He's fucking with this little kid.

Like, it's like he's going, he's been playing with toys as a kid, and it's cute.

But now he's old, and he has, like, his voice is getting.

It's very similar to God of War Ragnarok.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, exactly.

And his parents, and he's making a trade, he's a trade, and Kratos is just making him do that.

His parents, because they want him, they want to see him.

I feel like Kratos should also have a parent in the show.

Like that show, Blue Bloods, or in God of War Ragnarok, where he's old and he wants to die, and he's trying to raise his son, but then he also has a dad who also has a dad.

There's three generations of it.

Yeah, yeah.

You ever watch Blue Bloods?

Nah.

That show is awesome because it's like it's a story about a cop and his relationship with his dad.

Is it Tom Selick?

Tom Selik is a dad, but then there's another dad on top of him.

There's

never.

Oh, wait, no, you don't even have.

Or wait, continue.

Tom Selleck.

So Tom Selleck, but then there's an actor who plays the dad of Tom Selleck, who's also a cop.

But Tom Selik's like 74 years old.

And then the guy who plays that, the actor is like two years older than Tom Selick.

He just dye his hair.

Yeah, well, I mean, he looks older.

I mean, Tom Selik looks pretty good for his age.

Yeah, he looked good.

Maybe I'll get into that.

Would you want to be in Blue Bloods?

He wasn't.

I was.

Yo, Yo, really?

I was an extra on Blue Bloods.

Was that cool for you or no?

No, it was lame.

Well, an extra.

I got that story.

I got that story.

I got a story out of it, though, because when I was in holding,

it was when I first moved to New York.

I was before I found PAing, which you can make more money on.

I did extra stuff because anyone could be an extra.

But it's like $90 and you get a meal.

Yeah, no, that's what it seems like.

But I was in holding on Blue Bloods, and I'm sitting in the room with all these guys that have their own cop uniforms and stuff, and like people that just are extras all the time.

At the far end of the room, there's two guys quietly talking to each other, and I couldn't really hear what they're saying.

And he's like, Well, you know, like, uh, like

Rick Symington, like one of them just casually mentions some guy's name, and there's a woman across from me who's got a leather jacket and like dark aviator sunglasses on.

She's like, Rick Symington?

Oh, yeah, he raped me.

And then the guy was like, Rick Symington, the reporter.

He was like, he just says, he said whatever the guy's job was.

And she goes, oh, never mind.

But then

she came back.

Well, I told that story.

Yeah.

And I mean, it was just so absurd that it's like, oh, people aren't going to believe this story.

And then years later, that lady was on the cover of the New York Post.

Bodega Becky.

Yeah, she was Cornerstore Caroline.

Or Cornerstore Caroline.

And it was the same fucking lady.

And I think she was dressed almost kind of the same.

Like a little black kid's backpack touched her.

She barely touched her, and she's like, He raped me.

Hey,

he raped me.

Oh my god, yeah, yeah.

And he's crying and stuff.

She called the police.

And there's like a

video, like a cell phone video of it.

Maybe she got killed.

Maybe she actually did get raped at one point, and then

you think she's a lying all the time.

I've never tried no trauma whatsoever.

You don't think so?

No, no, that lady's that lady.

You don't think she got raped?

She knows what she's doing.

And she just takes it.

She knows what she's doing.

She never got that guy, and now she's trying to get everybody else out.

You can never try to get that guy.

I used to go to a lot of rape conferences, actually.

I know.

I actually did used to go.

His mom made him scared himself.

Wait, you said you would go to rape conferences?

I will not rape conferences, but it would be like what is this, one of these Israeli tech meetings?

Yeah, imagine tech with

exciting innovations in this space.

We're doing wild things in this space.

Yeah, and I could not be more excited about it.

Yeah, nice.

Wait, so your mom would make you just listen to me.

Actually, this makes him sound crazy.

Fuck, my mom is a good lady, yo.

That doesn't make your mom crazy.

Actually, yeah, not crazy.

Yeah, facts.

She actually works.

She deadass is.

She'd be working against her.

Like, yeah, so my mom counts.

She actually works victims.

This is making her sound like an awful person.

Yeah,

she'd be, nah, so she'd be like, I don't really know, but she'd be like, nah, sexual violence.

Like, I don't fuck with that.

And then, so it'll be like, it's mostly just, and then all the other people are like, same type vibe.

Like, they get victims.

Like, and then they get good.

Yeah.

And then

they don't fuck with rape no more.

But I used to go to those dead ass, a lot of them.

But it would just be kind of sad.

It was vibes.

Since a younger person.

Who was the youngest?

I don't know, probably like four.

Since like the four or something.

You're listening to victim accounts?

Probably.

It's just mad women crying.

Whoa, but like it's just looking man, sure.

But it was like,

yeah, I guess so.

But then it wasn't until later, though, that I really understood it.

It would just be more so like because I wouldn't really

play a read or something, do something else.

You'd be playing Roblox for the literature.

Like, literally, I'll probably watch Minecraft or something, watching some good, watching Minecraft, and then do that.

And then,

but, and then, but then later on, then I started being like, damn, this shit looking mad sad.

But it is, but it also, I guess, is good to know.

I probably hopefully I stay away from doing that.

Yeah, but I don't, but then also, I'll be scared because I don't want to do some shit like that.

Do a rape?

Yes, exactly.

Exactly.

On accident, probably.

Bro,

you would never do it on.

I wish I had looked more into this Indian Canada thing.

I read the headline and immediately started hitting the group chat with jokes about Indian mafias.

You got murder stink.

Oh, that's good.

You got Ran Out of Sopranos.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know, the scene from The Godfather where they hide the gun behind the toilet.

So whoever, is it Luca that tells him that he's got

a...

Whoever tells him

that he's like, we hid the gun behind the toilet.

Now, you could just walk in with it, but we figure you'd appreciate sticking your hand in the toilet.

Right?

So there's that.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's good.

We had some other ones.

We had some other ones here.

Indian mafia.

Oh, this is mafia.

I was thinking of like normal black guy gangs.

Or whatnot, but black gangs, Indian guy gangs.

You could go that direction, too.

I was there.

Oh, yeah.

So the boss of the Indian Mafia, he's got to go to therapy because he's having panic attacks.

So he goes to see Dr.

Smelfie.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Yo, they're fucking with Dr.

Smelfie.

Yeah.

Keep going.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm trying to remember the other.

But anyways, I got lost down that rabbit hole and I didn't actually read any of the article in front of my phone.

Mostly they do go to war.

That'd be fun.

Yeah, oh, you know, like in Casino where they kill Joe Pesci and his brother.

Yeah.

Instead of taking him out to the desert to bury him, they just bring him to a giant litter box.

Yeah, that's very fun.

That's funny.

Or we could talk about the amazing

Ridge Wallet

lineup.

Incredible.

Base Camp Orange, they call it.

Really?

So when I carry this around, I'm like, yeah, I'm about to climb Mount Everest.

Yeah.

Yeah, Fax, do you feel good when you have that when you pull that out, or do you feel like a bitch?

It gives him pleasure.

Well, I would imagine there's a place in between the two where I would

say, I would say I'd feel like I'm at the base camp.

Do you still feel like you have to be cool for anybody?

I was never cool.

I know, but still, do you get insecure?

Because I wonder if you're not.

Well, that's what I was explaining.

Some of the gayer things that I do, I don't care to mask anymore, such as lying about why I would have all Sony products

to to to to head off some sort of customer service thing when really it's like no I just you was fucking with I just want all the same shit you want it to match yeah

so there's nobody that you're trying to impress anymore nothing like that

yeah you stop caring no I feel like that's good yeah yeah but I just want to

even like I don't even know yeah no I guess that makes sense But but still, there must be something because you do something.

Like, even you being...

Well, actually, yeah, no, I don't even know.

Never mind, probably.

who who do you feel like you're trying to impress probably well i'll be lying to myself if i didn't say it was everybody yeah but well i don't even know what i mean by everybody that's not necessarily true not even impressed impressed is not correct actually no i definitely am bad host

um

that that sounds fried i'm i feel bad i feel i feel so annoying when i talk with nah because i feel like no because you did not say everything

down to earth like amazing good idiot like because you you're like more like uh

you be loosey-goosey you don't be giving a fuck and i feel like you fuck with it with like you don't be giving nothing yes exactly exactly exactly yeah yeah but but you care about like uh he's principled yes exactly you seem like a good like he's a man with a code exactly so then i feel like you feel bad about saying about trying to impress women and i feel like no not even yes literally i feel like that's a damn like

my heart's in the wrong but in a dark place but i'm lying if i if i wasn't what do you mean but even the girl is cute you want even in that i feel like i would be lying if I wasn't saying, now I'm trying to impress you right now by not trying to impress you, but

now you're making me more anxious because I don't want to sound like, because that's why I had to say bad hoes.

Because I was like, fuck, like,

if that's a

stupid way of saying that, I just feel like he's probably that girl that's so ignorant.

But it just would make me laugh.

He doesn't care.

I'm literally thinking about how nice it is that my stuff matches.

No,

I think that's true.

Yeah, I'm thinking about the cardboard boxes sitting on the floor in my kitchen that I got to break down and how the landlord got new trash cans, and I don't know the best.

See, like, why are you trying to sound so simple?

Salt of the earth cars.

Because that's literally what's going on in your head.

Now, you got to get, now it's okay.

He says, Great news, it's only one trash can now, but now I have to fucking bag all the shit.

You need clear

blue for the plastics and metal, but now you need the fucking clear one.

Oh, so it's not more work.

Now it's more work.

These fucking bastards.

And it's just, and it's because the city was designed back when the fucking black plague was going around, so you just throw your garbage directly out on the street and we don't have an answer for it there's no alleyways yeah so yeah it's i'm just tired of it i'm tired of the department of sanitation movies great outfits though movies that are set in new york city have alley scenes and there's no alleys i've seen yeah it's all

that video yeah they all shoot it just in uh in soho i'm gonna be honest though i well i guess that's bad because they're lying but it is cool to see a good alley in a movie oh my god it's awesome i do fucking steamy smoky thing i fuck with a good alley yeah in a cartoon and a lot of different shit.

Honestly, a lot of cartoons have great alleys.

Yeah, yeah.

And like cool chases or fights and alleys and stuff like that.

Those shits go hard.

You watch anime?

Yeah, but not like more than anybody, like a normal person that would watch it.

Not even trying to say it like in like an issue.

I don't like it, dude.

What?

Anime?

I've never.

No,

I do kind of know about that.

Yeah, nothing's ever really.

I also haven't really tried.

I've never tried anything.

But I did sorry.

Trying anime at 37 would feel like

that's not weird.

The Miazaki movies.

No, I watched those.

Yeah, but those are like...

The pig one is fantastic.

Yeah, Porco Rosso.

That's an amazing.

You fuck with that shit.

I love it.

Yeah, yeah, those movies are really good.

And then I watched Spirited Away, which I can't.

There was one of them that I tried to watch when it came out.

Because when I was a kid, I loved...

That's crazy.

I love Totoro.

And then...

Like, you know, as a kid, like, time pigs forever, you know?

Yeah.

So there was Totoro, and then they're, like, I guess maybe nothing for Western audiences until what was it?

Princess Mono Note.

And then I think I tried to watch that or the Howl's Moving Castle.

I'm like, this is bullshit.

None of them shit's here for you.

Yeah, I think I turned it off within like 10 minutes.

The pig was sick.

The pig one's amazing.

I just saw the new one with the boy and the heron, the one with the time or the...

Is it good?

I don't know.

It was alright.

It was like as good as it would be for that guy.

But compared to the other movies he's made, it wasn't crazy.

Does that make sense?

I'm going to go watch the pig one.

I'm going to go home, break down that car pull.

Yeah, put it on.

That sounds good as fuck, actually.

Yeah.

The pig is the red baron or something?

That's all.

It's a World War I pilot.

You should just like the things you like and indulge in them.

Especially if you're innocent like that.

And not feel bad about it.

That's what I was going to say.

Getting into anime at 37 would not be weird.

But I don't want.

I mean, I don't.

You don't have to, though.

Yeah, no.

I like sports.

The problem with anime is that people, the stuff that's ever been recommended to me all is.

It's probably ass.

Some of that shit is bad, though.

Some of the plots aren't really that shit.

I watched the first episode of that Attack on Titan show.

Yeah, you don't don't got a watch, I recommended it, and they were like, Isn't this amazing?

and I'm like, This is the most retarded thing I've ever seen.

Yeah, it's like a boy that wants to go fight giants, and then the giants destroy his town.

It's like and the giants look I've seen a cure.

There's no nuance here, and if there is, I don't care to look into it.

You know, with a cure, you do you fuck with a cure?

Oh, he just said I've never seen a cure.

I've seen a cure, that's a cool movie.

It's, I don't know, it's yeah, it's

I'm trying to think really it's good.

I mean, it's yeah, that is a oh, yeah, we just said you have to you have to be into it, yeah, yeah.

no that's a great it's a good movie that is a good ass movie that shit is cool i yeah but like i what is it like um evangelion i've never i've never or actually people love i've seen ghosts in the shell i fuck with that shit that shit was hard i'm trying to think really what else i well cowboy bebop that well that shit is cool you like cowboy bebop though even though i never yeah the vibe of that is nice i remember they put that on adult swim Right?

Yeah.

It was either that or something else.

And yeah, I remember I was like at my girlfriend's place at the time.

And this, I don't know, this is like, yeah, 20 years ago.

And we were watching Adult Swim, and then that came on, and I'm like, this isn't fucking funny.

Oh, that's real.

It's like, this is supposed to be.

It wasn't Space Ghost?

Yeah, this is like, it's a programming that's like a comedy block.

And then this is.

Oh, that shit.

I never saw it.

You're just calling me gay for liking Adult Swim.

That's all.

It was like an insult.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm watching the...

I'm like, oh, this animation is funny and different.

It's like, and it's for fucking nerds.

Yo, you fuck with smiling friends?

What the fuck, dude?

I don't know what that is.

You don't fuck with Smiling Friends?

I don't even know what it is.

Yo, that's crazy.

What is that?

I feel like that seems like you would fuck with that.

You don't like that either?

No.

Smiling Friends is very good.

We could.

We just don't know.

Can I show you this?

Can I show you just a new picture?

Yeah, can you put us on?

Damn, I don't want us all.

Can I spoil the first episode for you?

Put us on game?

It's just about these silly little.

This is something.

I've been telling us odd movies.

This is something that I will really pull people.

Did you watch it?

Yeah, I never watched Barry London.

Well, I put it on, but then I'm not going to lie.

I put it on, but then I'm going to do it.

I'm still there?

I put it on, but I started gooning, I'm not going to lie.

I put on Barry London.

Because that's masturbating, right?

I started getting crazy.

The two British guys,

the two British guys.

I just had that shit on my back, but the shots, I was like, damn, these shots are fire.

But then I had to do some shit.

Adam doesn't watch Barry London.

I needed to sit down and watch.

I've never seen it, actually.

I just tell you.

You just tell people like film bros it.

Oh, yeah, no.

That seems like some shit you would do.

Of course, I would see it.

It's my favorite movie.

That is some shit you would do.

Yeah, yeah.

Yo, this guy is doing that.

That was impressive.

That's foul shit to me that I would never let people know.

Dead ass.

Yeah,

I took him to a bad boy.

I'm dead ass.

I poured baby oil all over me.

All over me, bro.

That shit was fucked up.

What is the baby oil detail of the Diddy thing?

I'm still struggling to understand what Diddy did wrong.

Bro, it's not.

He had parties.

I think he was.

And people had sex at the party.

I don't know.

Sex traffic.

I think it was just he paid for it or something.

Oh, really?

I thought he was having sex with a lot of people without their...

They didn't.

And he was drugging people and stuff, probably.

Yeah, yeah.

Now there's like 150 or 200 accusers, but people keep saying, because I keep seeing people who are like, oh, this is the Black Epstein, and it's like, okay, well, was he raping children for the government of Israel?

I don't

like,

yeah, what no, he was like,

oh, no, he was just having parties.

He was doing it for Israel?

No.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm not doing it.

Did he was doing it for?

Yeah,

that's how you know it worked.

You know?

Yo.

Did he do it for Wakanda?

Yo, that's it.

What if we found out?

How crazy would be if we found out Wakanda was real?

Yeah, yeah.

It was real.

And they're the real one.

And no one checked.

That's awesome.

And then just this year, we were like, oh, it is a country.

I'd be fucking tight.

But it's like you could only count.

Congo should change their name to Wakanda.

I think that would be a good thing.

They've tried to change everything.

They've tried like 15 nations.

That'd be like something.

We're just going to go for it.

Yeah, it's like Snoop Lion.

Or like Star.

Oh, wait, yeah, I can show you Smiling Friends.

Well,

you never seen this shit?

To be honest, that looks like every cartoon.

Damn, bro.

You seen this?

Smiling Friends?

That's crazy.

Nah, it's funny.

It's like about these two guys, and they go, and they got to make people smile.

But the first episode, damn, do you want me to spoil it for you so that you have more?

I'm forgetting anyway.

I feel like you're never watching.

Damn.

But it is really, it's probably like the, like, it's like the best cartoon right now that's probably coming.

Damn, I'm dick sucking, but you know what I mean, though.

That's why I'm.

Yeah, you're dick sucking.

I'm not trying to glaze.

I'm deadass not trying to glaze.

It was just like the people that, if Brandon was here, he would fuck with it.

He would be like, yo, Brandon fucks with that shit OD.

You know, Brandon's our age.

Yeah, yeah.

He's he's 43 years old.

No, I know.

I'm not saying it's like an old thing.

I'm just saying myself.

But he still glazes.

Yeah, Brandon do be glazing too.

He's a glaze.

At a certain point, he crosses over into like cool substitute teacher territory.

That's not valid.

Let me tell you something.

If Brandon ever offers to bring you to an Indigo Girls concert, that's hilarious.

Yeah.

Watch out for bro.

I think my parents think that he was trying to have sex with me as well.

Brandon?

Well, he just has his face is crazy.

Brandon's still doing that.

I thought about it.

He did a joke about a Japanese businessman, and then also.

No, I think that was early Brandon.

It would be funny if he was still doing that.

Yeah, yeah.

At 37.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

No, no, he doesn't do that anymore, I don't think.

He was like,

we've known him since he was 16 years old.

That's so crazy.

Yeah.

What?

He was a high school student, and we'd see him at like

doing stand-ups.

How much older?

He started before me.

Oh, and you just met him when he was Brandon was like.

Brandon and our other friend Michael were like the first two comedians that I became friends with.

Became friends with, yeah.

Dang, and now you just.

And Jamel.

Yeah.

You feel like, has he changed a lot or not?

Brandon, he's never changed.

In a great way or in a bad.

No, in a terrible way.

He started terrible and now he's still terrible.

Fuck.

No, no, no.

Of course he's changed.

He's grown up.

That's how time works, bro.

Where do you watch Smiling Friends?

On Adult Swim.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But you could do watch movies one, two, three.

Er.

some shit like that.

Oh, come on, dude.

Don't admit to it.

Actually, don't.

I don't.

It's a crime like that.

I don't know.

It's just on.

If you're not trying to do all that,

HBO Max.

I got out of HBO Max.

I have Adult Swim.

But I watch.

I mean, you know, you can just put it on the Family Guy channel.

You're not wrong.

That shit fire, though.

It's great down in Cape Town.

They got an episode too where they had Trump.

Uh-huh.

And they had it, but it was like

they had a political episode.

Well, they had Mr.

Frog and then they had this other guy.

Dr.

Trump was on the show?

No, they had a real life.

No, they had Joe Biden.

It was a little bit of a reality.

I thought maybe that was part of his young people mediator.

He's doing Schultz's show.

He's doing Smiling Friends.

Nah, he was more on.

Nah, they had Mr.

Frog kind of.

Do you watch streamers?

Yo,

like Speed and Kaisinat and those guys?

I like them.

You fuck with them?

I mean, I've just recently found out who they are, but yeah.

Do you fuck with Speed and Kaisenat or no?

I don't know what it is.

He only knows how to stream it.

Yeah, I kind of know some of it now.

I know what streamers are.

Do you even feel like you have to know about that or not?

Like, it's just some bullshit.

It's just never really, like, I never got into YouTube because it was like too

like I like text.

Yeah, no, you like it.

Like, Mark Steve stabbing him just finally.

He likes that.

My attention span never.

I like, I didn't, I never, I just, it, it's like,

there's like two kinds of media on the internet.

Like, stuff you can consume in literally half a second, and then a four and a half hour video of some guy playing Scrabble.

Yeah.

And it's like, I don't understand, like, we've killed everything in between.

Nick thinks in instructional manuals.

I see.

Yeah.

Damn.

You know how some people think of it, like, in like cartoon, like, rainbows and lollipops.

That's how my shit be on.

That's your brain.

His brain is black and white text.

No, I just don't understand.

Like, there's never been, like, I don't get what streaming is.

No, I get it.

Well, I don't be watching.

Well, no, I'll be watching some of the stuff.

I just see the clips of them.

I'll be watching.

Well, I used to watch way more YouTubers.

That's like my like.

I like that.

And then we're essentially YouTubers now.

Yeah, low-key.

Y'all deadass aren't.

I like that more people on earth probably know who Speed is than like Joe.

I fuck with that too.

Yeah.

Speed?

Speed.

He's just some black kid.

He'd be just doing crazy shit.

He jumps over cars.

He's awesome.

He is like parkour.

He's nah, he doesn't do parkour.

He just does.

He's like of like Force Gun.

Like he just does random stuff.

He's 19.

Parkour was fucking insane.

You should become like Speed.

That should be like

possible.

I would love to be here.

Are there still parkour guys?

Because it was this thing that came out of nowhere and there was people that were defying the laws of physics.

Russia.

And now it's just gone.

Russia, they do parkour, and there's a guy that follows me on Insta that likes our show.

Oh, really?

And he just jumps.

He just says jump, jump, jump, jump.

I'm sorry if that's offensive.

He doesn't do swings so much as just

jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.

You're trying to say that.

And he's in the Russian army?

No, he's, I think, American or something.

Jared Leto is being canceled right now for saying that he likes Russia.

Really?

Yeah.

Damn.

Ukraine is canceling Jared Leto.

Leto.

This is a big mark.

There.

Yeah.

Do you see the new Joker musical?

No.

I want to see it.

No, the new movie.

The new movie.

No.

That shit looked fire.

I don't know.

I've not seen a trailer for it either.

My friend told me the entire plot, and because I don't care about spoilers, it made me want to see it.

Bro, it looks like an incredible movie.

I really think they took a lot of time.

It seems like they're making fun of the worst elements of their fan base.

Oh, are you dead?

Wait, I think that's what, like, I think Todd Phillips is just like making those Comic-Con kind of guys watch

a gay musical.

And I think that that's like, and I think Todd Phillips is like, like, kind of trolling a little bit.

Do you really believe that?

Are you saying that like that?

That's like from what my friend told me about the movie.

Bro,

I thought you were saying this, like, joking around.

Like, I don't know.

It's a musical with Lady Gaga.

I know what you mean.

Oh, so you think that he really did that to troll?

Like, that shit is.

Here's the fact that you actually

going on with the entertainment industry where they're just not advertising movies at all?

Yeah, because I miss a lot.

That seems like it would be a big movie, and then also Gladiator 2.

It's pretty big, but people just shit on it so much.

People have said it's really cool.

Yeah, but that's not going to affect the marketing movie sales.

But the other thing I saw, too, I was watching TV the other day, and there's a trailer for the Bob Dylan movie.

And it's not a trailer for the Bob Dylan movie.

It's a trailer for the trailer.

So it says, watch the trailer now at blah, blah, blah.com.

And then it's like a 30-second promo with just like, that's right.

You know, Timothy Chalamet's Bob Dylan being like, woo, there's too many horses or whatever bullshit he sings about.

Whoa, the casting, I don't know.

The performance is bad.

It's not the, it's not the.

I would imagine that it's.

No, no, he's saying the marketing is bad.

Like, if I was watching that.

It's not, it should have been better.

What I'm surprised by is that it's, it's a trailer for, it's like, hey, go watch the trailer.

So they bought like a 15-second spot because they didn't want to like buy a spot for for the whole thing.

It's like they ran out of money.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's like they're broke.

Or it's just they're not

or they're rethinking marketing or something, but I feel like you just don't really hear about movies.

No,

I think you're 100% correct.

Damn.

What do you think they should do?

Or they start doing it way early.

You know what I mean?

Because it's like I've been hearing about that movie for like five years.

Yeah, they leak like a picture of him as Bob Dylan.

I think it's all.

Yeah, yeah, I don't

know, like, absolutely.

I don't know what movies are coming out.

I kind of do, but I'd be looking for that, kind of.

You like movies, yeah.

But I don't know.

Said, actually, like, secretly, like, I do secretly fuck with movies.

Interested in cinema.

I don't think that's a good thing.

Why is that a secret?

Because he's like, he did.

That doesn't get a lot of money.

I saw him at Sean did.

Nah, really?

It's a secret.

Sean did a program, like, he programmed a bunch of

Montreal movies.

He's from Montreal, which is like, and then I just saw it, like, alone.

Yeah, I was like, did you fuck with this?

And I was like, not really.

No, my friend is.

Oh, you didn't fuck with that, though?

Maybe you should.

I didn't know the movie.

I went and I saw it.

I went because my friend was

putting it.

I was just doing it.

Yeah, but I wasn't seeking it out.

It was funny, though.

They shot a dog in the movie.

I thought that movie sucked.

I just want to see some different shit.

It's just fun to see some crazy shit.

I thought that movie sucked.

It wasn't amazing, but it was like stuck.

I don't know.

I thought everyone was also everyone was having cool moments, though.

I'm not saying I don't think it was.

It did have cool moments.

But there was cool scenes in it that I would not have seen otherwise.

Yeah, yeah.

That's how I'd be feeling.

I don't don't know.

But, but I want, well, it's not, I'm not secretly a film thing.

Also, once you start talking to somebody about movies, I don't know.

Then they started having to do their shit, so I don't really like that.

What do you mean?

Like, because then you give their opinions and stuff like that.

Yeah, and like, and then you get, and then they got to start talking about what he's doing.

And then always.

I just stopped waiting for you to do it.

No, talking to him about it, I feel more comfortable because he respects me as, like, he feels like I like the movies.

But

I don't know if you're talking about movies about movies or something, and then they start trying to tell you how many more movies they've seen or like mad movies and shit.

And then I'm like, that's the worst kind of guy.

I'm going to do this right now.

That's the worst kind of guy.

Exactly.

So I don't really be bringing up movies that much because it's like.

But I've seen 530 movies.

Really?

In my entire life.

That's really good, man.

You should be proud of that.

Check out my Legion Boss.

You brought up, I'm still here earlier.

You seen that movie?

I told him to watch that.

Diddy's in it, bro.

You got to watch that shit.

Diddy is in it.

Yeah.

Those movie where I remember that was like one of the first movies that had a lot of money.

Like a viral marketing campaign.

Well, no.

What happened was that everyone figured out while it was going on.

Well, I guess that's fair.

Prior to that, when the internet was

went out of websites where they'd be like, we have a secret website you go to and there'd be like numbers all over it.

Oh, really?

And people are like, oh, my God, I can't wait to watch Charlie Wilson's War to figure out what these numbers mean.

Yeah.

No, no.

I remember at the time he went on Letterman and he like...

Yeah, he acted weird.

He was acting weird, and then people figured out it was for a movie.

And then when you see the movie, you're like, it doesn't matter.

Because everyone was like,

yeah, it's fake.

We all know it.

And then when you watch the movie, you're like, it doesn't matter if it's fake because he still did it.

And all the people that he knew thought it was real.

He told Ben Stiller to suck a dick.

He was like, yo, fuck you guy.

That ass sat him down.

You know the scene where he's rapping in the club in Miami?

Your friend was there.

Our friend Mike Belandic was randomly there.

No, I wasn't sure.

At that club in Miami.

It's so funny to imagine Mike Belandick going clubbing.

In a nightclub, yeah.

He was there.

Him and Abel Ferraro were there, actually.

Damn.

Our friend, yeah, he's like Abel's producer.

They were in Miami.

He randomly was at that club when Joaquin gave the.

That's so crazy.

That is a good place to be.

I don't even know.

But your mother would be disappointed about you.

Being honest.

I think I can appreciate that.

That's such a good pivot.

Does your mom think that white people are going to be able to do that?

She wouldn't.

She wouldn't fuck with you, though.

She would be like, what the fuck?

Me, especially.

I don't know.

I don't actually.

I get yelled at a lot.

I don't think black, older ladies.

Just Randy.

Randy.

Because you look black.

He picks up all the time, bro.

We were outside his house.

I was walking my dog.

One time, a lady said, fuck you.

You look like exactly what I'm saying.

We were outside his house one time, and an older black lady drives by in a Toyota Corolla.

Very,

very rare car to see, you know, a Toyota Corolla.

And so Adam

Adam just starts flipping off the car.

And all these funny stuff.

Stop's car.

It was the same exact car.

Which is also what a 12-year-old would do.

It's fun.

You don't want to have fun?

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to flip off the car.

I had fun when the lady started yelling at him.

Yeah, it was unfortunate.

That's really case of mistaken identity.

So you got to be.

I thought you were my morbidly obese white friend.

Yeah.

A man, too.

Yeah.

Dang.

Williy, um, y'all be uh, would you guys get in a grown men fight now?

Or like fight somebody now?

Um, no, no, for no reason, for any reason, no, like fight club.

That's uh, that's probably my biggest objection to the state of Israel is that I think the point of being a Jewish person is to is to hide away from fighting, you know, not to go to the army.

And why would you say that about yourself, man?

Why?

You can fight too.

No, I can't.

I feel like you have to,

feel like you can defend yourself.

No.

That's not funny.

No, I know.

You got to anger with that.

I mean, like, bigger guys fight each other.

No.

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, no, you should hide away.

I'm going to start a rumor, and then the two bigger guys are going to fight each other, and

I'll be cashing that damn check.

That's what.

Damn.

Yeah, like Russia stole the election.

Yeah.

Something like that.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll be manipulating.

And

my mouth is.

What did they say?

be voting.

Are you guys voting?

Who are you voting for?

Both of them.

I think I'm just not going to vote.

You're just not going to vote twice.

Both of them.

Yeah, what the fuck?

What's the point?

I'm writing it.

Haktua's been on the bottom.

Yo, that's hilarious.

You should get your name legally changed to Haktua.

It sounds like a Jewish parent, no?

Yeah.

Did they sound that they found out she's 100% Jewish?

Yeah, she deadass is, bro.

Is that true?

Yeah, no, deadass.

They found out.

Show business.

That's

show business.

Her name, bro.

Her name on show.

Her name is actually Haley

Bryinstein.

Deadass.

But that was her, not her show name.

It's deadass.

How do you have a stage name for an unplanned Instagram?

Because after they found out, she wiped her shit, bro.

Because now people are caught up to getting overnight success.

So they know what to do.

It's a conspiracy, I'm saying.

Bro, it's just.

The fact that it turns out that Hawk Tua spit on that thing is Jewish.

She's 100% Jewish.

I love Shoviz, dude.

No, I'm lying.

She's not Jewish.

She's not Jewish.

No, I'm not fucking with you.

I think I did see, like, I saw, I saw a tweet, and I thought, I think it might just be from a racist account on Twitter.

But it was like, it turns out Hawk 2 is Jewish.

Nah, I'll be saying that.

I think they found out Costco guys are Jewish.

Oh, they're like pissed off.

I thought they were Costco guys.

You don't know the Costco guys?

That seems like some shit that you would fuck with.

No, I mean, yeah, I just still don't know.

It's just the worst thing.

It's just bad.

And there's something nice nice about how bad it is.

So it's like the Krassenstein brothers?

It's just that there's something comforting about how just completely terrible and uninteresting it is and for some reason popular.

Yeah.

It's funny that there's a father and a son.

There's people that are like, you know what I really like the Krassenstein brothers.

What happened to those guys?

What's that?

Are they still alive?

Are they still online?

Yeah.

Wait.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, they found out that the Costco guy's mother is Jewish and like they're like seriously?

These fucking Jews.

thinking about it.

Nah, they're chilling.

Yo, you fuck with me, Kenny.

So this guy, well, I can show you that.

Is that crazy?

I just want to see your reaction to this shit.

Like, genuinely.

Because it's like.

It's not like...

I don't know.

Or he's got a big schnitzel or something?

What is he?

Nah, he's got a little...

He's got the Costco sandwich.

The chicken big.

Yeah.

And they review products and they give it a break.

Oh, and the Rizzler.

Do you know The Rizzler?

The Rizzler is the breakaway hit star of the entire thing.

Do you know the Rizzler?

Is that that dwarf Chet?

No, no, no, no.

That's a Hasbula.

The Rizzler is a boy that they added to the Costco Guy universe.

Of course, we go shopping while eating a chicken thing.

But hold on.

Of course, we do.

Did that start with the...

That's a TikTok trend, right?

And then

this father, who's an amateur professional wrestler and been trying to be famous forever, he finally hit on this piece of just absolute garbage content, right?

And it has replicated the song.

I love this.

I'm in a group chat.

I'm in a group chat about it.

Let me just stop right there.

I have seen

now three segments out of one video of this.

And I don't understand how there's even enough content for more of that clip.

Oh, so they keep it.

Let alone like a whole account.

So then the way.

They just do every item in Costco?

No.

No, it's literally, it's just, it's, it's, of course I have a cookie.

Every item in Costco would make sense.

It is just, it is, it is so much more mindless and nonsense in a nice way.

In a nice way.

Like, I just don't want it to have a racist past or a sexual assault accusation.

I don't want it to be taken down.

I want it to just be bad.

It's just funny, yeah.

But then they found this fat boy from New Jersey who everyone thought was related to them, but they just found a fat boy.

Yeah, they're just friends with, bro.

And they live in Boca Raton, Florida.

I know so much about that boy.

Wait, and so then the fat boy is this kid, the Rizzler.

Show Nick the Rizz, face.

He's going to love him.

He's bringing the boom, bro.

I don't know if it should make the dog.

I don't think a child should have that accent.

No, no.

He did it.

So the fat shit.

I think the chocolate dude shouldn't function.

It's like a shit.

No, no, no, no.

Nick will like it, actually.

So the fat boy that they found in New Jersey is now kind of becoming the breakaway hit.

He's up, bro.

He's up big.

And like, he does this thing called the Riz face, which is, he's, he's adorable.

And he's, he's so funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, he goes like this.

Yeah, yeah, bro.

Do you remember Indian Joker?

From Vine?

Of course.

That's probably before your time.

Of course.

I used to fuck with Vine, bro.

Yeah, but it's crazy because a lot of internet culture comes from Indians on Vine.

Like India, they took all this Bollywood shit that, like, worked on Vine.

And black people on Vine, too.

But, but, well, that's everything.

But, like, fucking if you truly,

I mean, that's culture.

But Malcolm X over here, but Brother Nick,

the Indian teenagers on.

Can we do that?

We never talked about no black shit.

No, he's giving a testimony.

Let it testify.

Have you seen Indian Joker?

No, no, I can watch that right now.

I don't even know if it exists anymore.

It's fucking crazy.

But it was an Indian guy where he would walk.

He would walk by somebody and

they're slow motion.

And then

the guy would be like, you touch my shoe or something.

Yo, I love the Indian guy.

And then he would do this weird face.

Yeah, there's the face he makes, yeah.

And so his whole account was like this weird face that he would make.

And it was like an Indian guy that figured out a weird face that doesn't look like the Joker.

Yeah, he doesn't at all.

He just looks.

That was the same.

That was the same

carry face.

Of the Afghanistan kid doing these Jose Loyal.

Have you seen that one?

No, no.

This is so.

We have to cut.

I mean, it's probably boring broadcasting for them, but I'm happy to see that.

But no, because I feel like maybe they're like all the time.

Do you just do like

Indian kid

these Jose and Loyal?

Maybe I don't know how I hear it.

Do you guys feel like this?

These Hosan Loyal.

I used to fuck with like.

Yo, why are you killing us?

His voice is so beautiful.

Play it again, Planet.

And also knowing that it's like...

He's at gunpowder.

It's two fucking Marines standing in front of him.

I'm going to redo this.

I'm just going to do this.

Where is he now?

That's Nav.

Where is he?

He's in a CIA black site.

Getting waterboarded.

You joined the ISIS.

They laugh on me.

He got pissed.

They radicalized him.

Well, I don't know.

The Costco guy.

Do you think we're going to get like a whole after the West abandons Ukraine?

Do you think in like 10 years it's going to be Ukrainian nationalists blowing up fucking places in the U.S.?

You think we're going to get Ukrainian ISIS?

Oh, shit.

I mean, that could happen.

That'd be crazy.

We kind of were like, yeah, go to war.

And we're like, ah.

But those Azov guys, I could see it.

Yeah.

I mean, they're literally have swastika tattoos.

Damn.

Those guys are like,

those guys are

like, they'll fuck you up.

I still question that because it's like, do they know what it means?

Yeah, they help the Nazis.

But prior to this war, you saw the fucking content coming out of Russia and Ukraine.

It's like...

Coming up with the worst haircuts in the world and they get into car accidents.

It's like all they have.

Oh, yeah, you're you're right.

You know what I mean?

And it's like, oh,

oh, this guy is a swastika at that dude.

If anyone, I would believe they thought it was just a cool symbol.

It's like people in Appalachia and then people in like the fucking Ural Mountains.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

No, those guys, I think

they put like pig fat on bullets when they fight.

Everybody does.

Everybody does.

Oh, they're still doing that?

Yeah.

They're locked in.

Yeah, they're like, you're not going to, you're not going to Muslim heaven now, bitch.

They trying to, They're trying to slide on the ops.

They got switches on the.

They got Gen 5s for their Ukrainians.

I don't know what it is.

I don't know who that's for.

It's like, that's for

some black kid to laugh at that.

Well, mostly audience

black kids.

I know.

It's actually crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's good for you guys.

What are Gen 5s?

Bro, I'm not going to lie.

I don't even know what that shit is for.

Well, no, it's a type of gun, though.

It's a gun.

Oh, or some shit like that.

Also, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, all right, valid.

The Glock Gen 5s?

You can't get me.

Yeah, I actually think that is what it is.

And what's the deal with those?

Those are the ones that are illegal in California.

Bro, you're knowing more facts than me.

You're just

like, yeah, Glocks are like...

You can have up to Gen 3 and then pass that if they're manufactured in Atlanta or something.

But so exactly.

So imagine you pull up with a Gen 5.

That's like some shit.

It's the newer Glock.

It's like a Glock 3.

Or maybe an older one that was better.

Has there ever been a fight in the audience at Wild Dunno?

Why would you assume that?

It's mostly Hindu family.

That's never happened.

It's mostly very polite Hindus.

It's really nice.

It's actually like, you know, that scene.

I don't even know.

It's just a party time, man.

I'm just saying, like, you know,

it's a, you know, you got the

fight.

Dead ass though, have I never?

It's an antagonistic show.

Dead ass have not seen a fan.

You might have a new school fan and an old school fan, and they don't see

the eye.

Maybe people, some people, maybe.

Maybe some people don't like it.

People fight at sports matches, but it's not even that competitive because it's like we just go up and rap battle.

Oh, you don't have like

fan bases for the new school?

Well, oh, like you mean people,

are you doing the one at Barclays?

Nah, that already happened.

I didn't go to that.

I should have, maybe.

But no, that's how I find about things: is rotting

rotting posters plastered all over the Hasidic neighborhoods.

That's how I find out what's going on.

Oh, my bad.

Did you want to keep on talking about Tom?

I just found out Indigo, the Indigo Girls are playing.

I'd love to go with you anytime.

No, no, no, no.

I'd love to.

No, sure.

Nice to try, Israel.

He's Jewish.

But I actually am.

Yeah.

I do Kwanza.

No, I know.

We have

a family.

We have a scanner on the threshold.

Do you get presents for Kwanzaa as well?

Yes, sir.

I began.

I began.

I don't know.

I began shit for Kwanzaa though.

Deadass.

Yeah.

Really?

Well, I don't think you're supposed to.

Kwanzaa fun.

I don't think you're supposed to, but I think my parents realize, like, you got to update it.

You can't give them some handcrafted shit.

And you have a Kwanzaa menorah and stuff?

Bro, Menorah, bro, seven days.

ass.

Kwanzaa's 20 days.

Nah.

Whoa, yeah.

Wait.

Brother Nick.

But

seven days, we be, and then we just read like quotes and wear dashikis.

Whoa.

And then I don't, like I said, I didn't make that.

Do you want to keep on talking about the Ukrainians?

No.

Wait, you bring up this war.

Wait, how come?

Because I got nothing going on.

It's some really fucking life right now.

You just sit and look at it.

When you get a certain age, you get into

thinking about past wars, current wars.

You just become like maybe it's a white culture thing.

No, I don't think it even is a red culture thing.

It's really like you just fuck with that.

I mean, that's no, I know nothing about it.

I have no information.

That's why I'm bringing it up because I'm like, what's going on?

Oh, I see.

Yeah, maybe somebody else has.

But you know more than anybody.

I know.

I like anybody.

I know they're not knowing about that about them.

Well, you could.

It's on Twitter.

It's a lot of people's law, dude.

Yeah, you just go on Twitter and people are.

And fuck with that.

Yeah, you can see.

It's crazy because you go on there and there's Ukrainian people being like, we're dying.

Dang, yo, you're a dude.

Please, Mr.

Joe Biden, help us.

You ever think your dude just start doing some politics shit, just start doing that?

Never.

Running for politics?

Wouldn't that be funny, though?

No, no, don't do that.

Don't do that.

But it would be funny.

What if

he outlawed it?

Didn't you say that?

What if you started trying to make it a real mega change?

That's not the way to do it.

That isn't.

What's the way?

Yeah, because you can't join the system.

You figure out the laws that you think are bad, and then you break them privately.

That's bad.

Breast reduction, you don't fuck with that.

He has to outlaw it.

That's the campaign.

One-issue voter.

Yeah, we should just be paying for backslides.

I'm not gonna lie, bro.

I would have helped you with the breast reduction.

If you watched the VP debate, you would have seen that this is that's why Vance won is because he made that argument.

He said, you know, everybody wants to talk about women's health care.

We're forcing these breast reductions on these poor women instead of just reinforcing their spines with metal.

Titanium, yeah, yeah.

You've got to get some rebars.

and walls had nothing to say to that

he was just thinking about that time of that interview yeah right

oh mason

this walls thing is funny though because i think that guy might go to jail for like election interference if he just made it up but i thought you said he's just like a chinese national i don't know if he's a chinese national but he stopped tweeting after he put that on there and it got some traction but i figure that's like that's at the level where you might face charges for it if you're like just defaming somebody and accusing them of being a bad person.

What happened with the gay liar for Obama?

But that was all, there was always like a style there, you know what I mean?

Like, fucking, yeah.

You know, this guy that says he had sex with Obama, Larry Sinclair.

Gay Liar?

No.

It was awesome.

It was amazing.

Oh, wait, the chef?

Is that he wrote about the chef versus the chef's dad?

What was it?

Oh, yeah.

He killed the chef.

Obama killed the chef, right?

It was Larry.

Wait, yo, you ever met his daughters?

You ever met his daughters?

No.

Synagogue.

Yo, keep up with me.

Are you dead ass?

I saw them.

No.

At a synagogue?

No, no.

You said what's up?

I've never met the girls.

You tried to run down.

You should date.

You should date on the girl.

I know, right?

I feel like I could get on one of them.

Yeah, probably fuck with me.

You should.

Whichever one look more.

Whichever one's fucking with me.

Imagine that was your first time.

Does anyone know the other one?

So Balia, and then there's another one that's on the other side.

And Sasha and Sasha.

Oh, Sasha.

I pay attention to that.

Sasha doesn't do anything.

I comment and make a JOI on every one of their posts.

Oh, really?

On the Sasha posts.

A JOI is a jack-off instructional.

Jack-off instructional.

I comment down on every one one of the posts.

That's not a comment.

Are they on Instagram?

Yes.

And when you say, like, nice pick.

I say

nice tits, bro.

I'd make a J-O-I.

That's what I say.

I'm so sad.

Fuck, fuck.

I respect black women.

I respect black women.

Nice tits, Obama.

Fuck.

That's what I said.

It's amazing, too, because you know they probably see it.

I know they see it, but it's all right.

Obama probably sees it.

Obama's probably pissed.

Bro, Barry's been fucking with me since it don't matter.

Really?

Once they see the motion, bro, it all changes.

They're never.

It's the confidence.

They'll hate, exactly, bro.

They're going to hate, and then they hate if they see it, but then they get in the same room as me, it's always different.

They'll be like, it's never the same as crazy.

They're going to be like, yo, I.

He's weird, but he's crazy.

He's such a vibe.

He's a vibe.

But back to, you were talking about

the guy that they killed?

Or no, not the chef, the other guy that Obama was working for.

Oh, yeah, Larry Sinclair.

Larry Sinclair.

He wrote a whole book where he was like, Yeah, I sucked Obama's dick in a limousine.

Really?

While we smoke crack, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I mean, the story is so

you listen to him talk about it, but he's clearly such a liar in a limousine.

Like, it's like, it's like, it's like a Kevin McAllister version of gay since the moment.

It's like two, like, um, like, those, like, carpal tunnel syndrome, like, uh, the hand braces.

He had some funny, like, injury type of thing while he's like talking about it.

And then he got, like, traction too.

He didn't like it on Tucker.

Yeah.

Oh, he went on Tucker.

I thought thought he went on Hannity.

Yeah, I don't know.

But it's not real?

Or is that real?

I would be surprised if it's real.

That's 100% correct.

Yeah, real.

Well, it's so absurd.

Yeah, that.

You know what I mean?

That it's so absurd that it makes it real, or it's so absurd that it's not real at all.

I don't think it's real.

Are any gay people blowing each other in limousines while smoking crack?

I mean, that's like...

Or damn, actually, probably not.

Probably not.

Probably not at all.

Who's even like riding around in a limousine?

Smoking crack makes it sound crazy, but getting a head in a limousine sounds like some shit

that you would fuck with.

Cocaine, Sex, Lies, and Murder is his book.

Question mark.

The title of his own book has a question mark.

Yeah, right.

It's like,

which is A, so gay, but B, like, you're like,

am I lying?

Who told you I'm going to do that?

That's weird.

Yeah, he's so funny, this guy.

But I think with this guy, though, it's because that guy just, that guy did all that, like, I would imagine, I thought it was during Obama's administration.

if you're three weeks out from election and you're on twitter like being like i have evidence that the oh then that definitely sounds fake well not only does it sound fake but it's like is that you know at what point is it like uh criminal sort of thing you know to do it it would be very funny if that guy went to jail for the for doing that for saying that tim walls blew a chinese boy to an indigo girl's cup yeah i don't think i don't think you should have to go to jail for that uh whether you should or you shouldn't i don't know i'm not i'm not making any type of statement as far as what should happen but if it did happen that would be very funny and then they and then he'll probably

you think they're gonna make him his bitch in jail

well derek drescher told us that doesn't happen yeah yeah the way he talks about obama and him having sex is very funny yeah especially because of his like tone of voice and stuff yo did you watch joe rogan special was that joe rogan That was Joe Rogan talking about having sex with Obama.

Kamala's going to do Joe Rogan.

Is she?

Yeah.

That's smart for her um

yeah I guess she should

she should do that and she should do Kai Sonat yo if she did Kaisenat bro Trump did Aiden Ross Trump was on Aiden Ross's yeah he gave me

watch that shit

but that's some smart ass shit to be doing I'm not gonna lie bro that's dead ass you know what I mean they need Trump if he did a he should do a plac boy max five star street or there's another thing this guy does and he'll have rappers on and they battle or they they play their song do you watch that thing the pedophile hunters thing Nah.

Is that the British one?

No, there's one where it's like a bunch of funny.

The British ones are the funniest because it's always in front of a fence.

It's always like right behind the subdivision in front of a fence.

You're fucking nunspruv, and then it's like a retarded Arab guy every time.

He's like,

I know what.

I used to compete.

I don't know.

You fuck with that show?

What?

The Pedro Dad show.

No, I've just seen clips of it, but it seems really like the end of culture and history.

Yeah, we guy who has shit like Beethoven and fucking

classic Hummer's H2s tuxedo to the Hummer H2s.

We used to have fucking

the early family guy.

Yeah, you know, like, no, no, but it's, yeah, the guy tracks down Pedos, and then now it's gotten so big that rappers come on and plug their new album, and then like, there's a video of Akon singing.

Oh, on there?

Yeah, yeah.

So he's like cashing a pedophile, and then Akon singing.

Does Akon still make music, or is he just a businessman?

He's so rich, apparently.

He like owns Africa or something.

Him in China.

And it's like energy concerns, right?

It's like light bulbs.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you listen to me?

You don't listen to music?

Not really.

Whoa, that's pretty crazy.

Yeah.

Why?

I don't know.

I just don't really have.

I just don't really know.

You just have to hit the lyrics.

Damn, bro.

Yeah, that shit don't hit for you.

He's a lyrics.

You just never found some shit that you just no.

I mean, I guess I just don't really, you know, if I'm like home,

like more than anything, recently, I just get sucked into all this like fucking war shit.

Why that's just so captivating to you?

I don't know, because it's like, do you get immediate updates?

Everything seems really like

on the edge right now, more so than at any point in the last fucking, at least my adult life.

Sure.

Maybe things were worse during the Cold War, but like.

Yeah,

how close we are to something really bad happening is

very scary to you.

Well, it's not even scary.

I mean, it's almost like a morbid interest where it's like it's like there's kind of, if I'm being completely honest, there's like an excitement to it.

It's like something might be different.

Something might change.

Kind of in the same way that when COVID hit, it was kind of like this is exciting because it's something different.

Yeah, was COVID asked for you or are you fucked with that?

He got jacked.

Yeah, I got jacked.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

You did it in Muslim style.

Really?

That's our prison.

Jail style.

Nation of Islam.

No legs.

Muscles.

Yeah, no, I was just doing handstand push-ups all day long.

Upper body.

Yeah.

Toothpick legs.

Junebug, Junebug Nick.

That's what they was calling him.

That's what they were called.

Back in the Slammer.

Yeah.

Brother Junebug.

All right.

Pete and I have to finish editing this thing.

Yeah, you can go.

Thanks for joining us, Hassan.

Thank you for letting me do this.

I feel like you shouldn't.

That's actually good.

I love you.

You're a great guy.

Thank you.

Good luck to you, young man.

Thank you.

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