The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Cannon - Episode 75

And welcome to the Adam Friedland show.

Guys, I just off top, I want to say that I had, I was just in London, I had like my shows filmed there, so I'm going to be releasing 20 minutes of that show of stuff material I don't want to put on a special.

That I

spent money filming it, so we'll consider it an EP, the London EP.

That's what you didn't want to say before we started?

I did want to say.

I said, can I say something?

Your brain's.

I thought you were saying, can I say something before we started?

I said, I don't want to say that I'm gay.

Oh, okay.

Because I'm in the closet still as a homosexual member.

Interesting.

I haven't released this extensive amount of stand-ups, so it's very nervous.

I'm nervous, guys.

Because, you know, when you try at something, it's different than a pod.

You guys can call me gay on a podcast as much as you want.

It'll never really hurt my feelings because, I don't know,

I have sex

once every two weeks, probably.

So you can't really hurt my feelings.

But if I try really hard at stand-up and then someone says something, it'll always a little bit, you know what I'm saying?

There's nothing more vulnerable than my action.

Trying is very scary.

It really is.

Because if someone says it's gay,

then you're like, I think so too.

Deep down, I've been telling myself it's gay deep down.

And the internet is.

Fuck you, but fuck you.

I'm excited.

I think it looks good.

I've been editing it all week,

and it's fun.

I think it's fun.

Are you going to call it?

What are you going to call it?

Well, my friend was going to name his book, It's Wrong to be Jewish, and he decided not to.

Okay.

And he said I could have that name, but I think it's...

It's still like, I don't, I'm just going to say

London Two Nights.

London calling London calling I'm calling it London calling two nights in London the EP So everything that's not on there is what's gonna go on an hour-long special but I don't know I have to release this material before the rest of Gaza is dead because there's a lot of topical

I think at this for this death toll it's appropriate gotcha once the rest of Gaza is gone once the scale then it'll be in poor taste

then it'll be in really poor taste once Kamala, you know, once Trump is in jail, you know,

once he's in a, you know, a non-binary prison or whatever.

Is that what Kamala's doing?

She's doing men's and women's prisons together.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I don't know.

That's cool.

Unisex bathroom.

Is that what the Democrats are doing?

All gender prisons.

Yeah.

Speaking of London, you could just announce that you're a woman and then you go into a woman's prison.

Well, I did get nervous there because they don't have free speech, right?

Wouldn't it be pretty crazy if they sexually integrated the prisons and you go to prison as a guy and you still get raped?

Imagine how much I would suck.

You'd be like, what the hell?

I thought this was supposed to be better.

Yeah.

On the last episode, we were getting a lot of answers.

I was getting a lot of answers about prison answered for me.

Yeah.

Because I was always like, you should just say, stop rape.

It should be against the rules to rape, but then you have to go to protective custom custody.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you just have to hang out with the pedophiles.

Oh, is that yeah, that's all that's down there, right?

And then you got to rape a pedophile just to I don't think that I would

listen.

I don't think I would be trying that, but you don't know what happens when a man is confined.

That's true.

Their options are dried up.

My friend was telling me recently how much

long-term care for your parents is

once they go to a home and it's like 10K.

and I just I wish there was an option where you could just send them to Rikers

like if my dad doesn't there should be a parent's wing your parent has full-blown like has lost their mind

they there's no option to for them to be a ward of the state or some sort of no that absolutely happens yeah isn't that where Uncle June went

Sopranos if you I like I think Medicare covers like nursing homes they're just shitty they're awful yeah it's where you get like like molested, right?

And so no, not really.

It's just you have like a Southeast Asian woman.

It smells like pee more.

Okay, Mr.

Adam.

You know, and they don't really take care of you.

I remember we sent my grandma to one, and it was the cheaper one, and then we were like,

it smells so much of pea

that we had to go for the expensive one.

But even the expensive ones are a fucking nightmare.

You hear it, like, you know, they rob.

My wife's grandparents are kind of going through it right now where they're going from facility to facility depending on their current state.

And it's just like, even the nice ones that cost so much money, they're trying to squeeze even more out of you.

They don't really take great care of you.

All the effort is seemingly half-assed.

It's like running a month.

Minimum, yeah.

120 grand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rikers.

That said.

Rikers.

Rikers.

State fund.

All these welfare queens being shipped up to Rikers for free.

Yeah.

Why can't that be part of bail reform?

Well, I I think I remember my grandma kept escaping.

That's why we had to get her out of the PP1.

Because she kept that, we just find her on the side of the highway, just like walking down the highway.

Like that movie in Nebraska.

Yeah, it was.

There is something very white culture about walking alongside like

a 75-mile-an-hour interstate highway.

My parents would get in huge fights in traffic, and my mom would just get out of the car and start walking on the shoulder of the highway.

Nice.

I have so many

people.

Get back in, Kate.

Come on.

She heads to a corner store.

She's that she complains about the cost of soda.

I'm a hobo now.

Why doesn't it look like the pictures?

How come the sandwich doesn't look like the pictures?

My mom only did that once, and I've, I still to this day feel really bad about it, but we framed her for a fart.

That was mine.

And I think she had hit hit her limit with something else in life.

And she just turned, she's like, and we were like, mom, farted, mom, farted.

She's like, ah, dad, I farted.

And she like slammed the door.

And I was like, I farted that.

As a parent, I can relate to something that innocuous breaking me.

Like, just.

How old are your kids now?

They got to be like four.

I have one that's five, and then I just had one a month and a half ago.

Oh, okay.

So I like just re-entered.

Cool, cool.

Yeah, this is like the most intense time, too.

It's the only time that I don't really like, I mean, I love it.

It's great to be a parent.

It's very, very difficult.

And as a dad, it's like pure production assistant work.

Like I'm more or less running, getting coffee, doing all the, you know, I'm not connecting yet.

Yeah, yeah.

You just started smiling.

So now I'm like, oh, I'm your dad.

This is great.

Is it worse?

Because you already went through it once.

So in your head, you're like, well, I know what to expect.

And then it's taking longer.

It's worse.

It's a little bit easier, no?

It's a little bit easier in the sense that I have a baseline of information that I did not have last time.

It's worse in the sense that the exhaustion is more relentless because every time that my first son napped, I would kind of nap alongside him.

And I just, in my head, cast that aside.

I didn't even,

I didn't really think of that as anything.

But now, every time my infant naps, I turn and my five-year-old's like, you ready to fucking rage, dude?

Let's, let's wrestle.

Yeah, he's doing bumps and I'm not going to be able to do that.

Are you doing the Lewis and Chris D, like sending my kid to Little League MMA or no?

Don't do it.

Oh, Jiu-Jitsu?

Don't do it.

I'm going to get my son, my five-year-old into it.

He's just so physical.

And here's, well, two reasons.

One is he's so physical.

Making their kids fighting each other.

My son needs to get his energy out.

Yeah, but here's what's going to happen.

In 20 years, there's going to be something different.

There's going to be all these kids that know karate, which will be pointless because everybody knows karate at that point.

Your ratio of getting your ass kicked is still there.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, right.

So it's just now, I mean,

there's going to be, like, there's.

Dude, the world is going to be a lot of fun.

And it's probably, it probably is.

It's probably the Jews.

They're sending their kids to telekinesis classes.

And they're the only ones that have access to it.

And 20 years are going to be.

The crypto Jr.

Lewis Jr., whatever his name is,

he inherits podcasting, you know, which at that point is just a sauna without a roof.

It's a sauna that you can't turn off without a roof.

And wherever Lewis has lived, you know, they're squatting now at this point.

Lewis has been dead for years.

And he's podcasting in there with Tim Dylan's son, who's adopted from Nigeria, naturally.

Tim Dylan Jr.

And they're doing it.

He's like,

I wish my father had put me in telekinesis.

And now I sit here just talk karate and podcasting.

And he's a waste.

He does nothing for me.

Tim Dylan's Nigerian.

No, yeah, I mean, he's gay.

He's not going to.

Unless he's pregnant, he could be.

We have no idea.

He's probably in the closet heterosexual.

Under that shirt, there's like 15 runts just sucking at

just rows of nipples.

Did you see that?

He looks like an elevator panel.

He's like a dog.

He's like a dog in a third world country.

Did you see that documentary about the,

what do you call it?

And say that about Steve Harvey?

That's a big

Hollywood secret, is that Steve Harvey's buttons are actually those nipples.

Yeah, yeah.

They're lactating.

Underneath all the suit buttons, yeah.

Practical at the buttons.

Do you want to cover up?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's getting real.

He's got a bunch of little, there's a bunch of small, bald, black, there's a bunch of little diglets all over his body that are sucking him.

They're tiny Steve's.

They're all bald with mustaches.

Big Hollywood secret.

Can't let that one out.

Did you see the documentary about the the Dana Carvey show, the failed Dana?

Yeah,

the first sketch that they opted to go with was that Bill Clinton had utters, and he was giving a presidential debate and breastfeeding like 12 kids at once.

It's great.

I love it.

I'm all in.

Yeah.

Well, I think the mistake was that they put it on after home improvement.

Yeah.

So that was on at like 8.30 at night.

There were families that were like.

It's so funny because, and that's like classic.

They were told they could be edgy.

They said there was a hard line from prime time to their show and that they could do a ton of different things.

And then they were like, all right, great.

We'll come out firing.

And then they did that.

And people were like, there are families watching.

Like, what are you guys doing?

Man.

And it's very bizarre to imagine that a family would be like, all right, kids, come on.

It's time to watch Home Improvement.

Like a family would sit down to watch Home Improvement.

I watched TGIF with my

family.

Yeah.

I don't think I watched any TV.

Like the TV was like, that's where you got placed in front of the television.

Yeah.

Your parents were at work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you were alone.

Well, I watched that when my parents were still at work.

I would watch after school.

Or like when I was sick.

That's when I'd watch Springer and J.D.

Jones.

Yeah.

That's what I associate with being sick home from school.

And then I got to see like...

Price is right.

Yeah.

Price is right was a big daytime thing.

Yeah.

I mean, the rare occasion the TV would be on in the classroom.

Yeah.

You know, sometimes where you're like, is this special?

It's like, no, the teacher's drunk.

They're like hungover or something.

Somebody reminded me recently, we had a curriculum of the show Voyage of the Mimi.

Did you guys watch that growing up?

No, no.

It was literally just like a TV show and they put it on in our science class.

Young Ben Affleck is in it.

And it's like just this deaf woman being like, CT, look at the whales.

And they just point out whales and that's the extent of the knowledge they give.

I remember the TV would be on if there was like,

I want to say there was like a spaceship launch.

No, it was before

they rolled down the TV.

Yeah, it was like a spaceship launch or something that we had to like tune in for.

Yeah, yeah.

And then like catching prices right during the day.

And I remember it's either prices right or Wheel of Fortune.

And I didn't know what it was.

And then I was very nervous because Wheel of Fortune was everybody was excited about it.

And I was like, I don't know what this is.

Am I supposed to know what this fucking wheel is?

Well, Wheel of Fortune, I associate with my grandma's house because that was on.

It was Wheel of Fortune, then Jeopardy before the news.

Yeah.

And so so me and my me and my sister would go over to what my one grandma's house who who uh later on we put in the pee pee place

and um she was like of that generation of Jews that's like the Holocaust could just it's didn't happen it couldn't no yeah she's like if it started she'd be like oh it's of course today's the Holocaust I forgot you know so she was like the joke would be that she she'd make she'd buy one steak right and then put it in the oven and of course meat shrinks when you cook it yeah and so we'd get like two slivers of a steak and then like three carrots and two like peas.

And then my mom would have dinner ready for us.

Because of course we'd have to eat also at 4.30 in the afternoon dinner with my grandma.

And so then we'd have like a second dinner waiting for us.

But that would be like the joke because she'd like serve us and we'd like be trying not to laugh.

Just a dehydrated meal.

Apparently her family, like I used to think that she was posh.

And my uncle told me, he's like, you think that she her family had money?

He's like, they were horse thieves.

he's like there were 12 brothers and sisters they were all born in different towns because they kept getting kicked out for being such trash

he said their family he said their family was so poor that their brag was to open their window and to throw uh their garbage onto the street to brag that they had food

yeah and i always thought this lady was like she's she had like airs and graces but it was all fake yeah i mean i i've come to similar realizations to that that because my father's from Levittown, Long Island, the baby boomer town, that whole thing.

Is that the first suburb?

I remember learning this.

That was the first time they did a planned community.

Well, they built one in Pennsylvania.

There's a Levittown, Pennsylvania, and then there's a Levittown, Long Island.

And then both of which were like

battlegrounds.

Yeah, battlegrounds for like racism and gerrymandering and all that shit.

There was like, I think one black family.

And when you say battlegrounds, you mean like there was no battle at all.

They just decided that racism's good.

Yeah, There was not really much of a debate about it.

There was one battle.

There was one family.

And they kept getting Molotoved, and the father made their family stay and fight through it.

I remember learning.

The black family.

The black family, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Didn't Stern grow up like in one of those places

and then he went to an all-black

for high school.

Same where Eddie Murphy went or something like that.

Yeah, I think so.

Very funny place.

Yeah, and that's where he found out he had a small penis.

That is.

According to private

the impression of Long Island is that they

is the reason it's so fucked up is because they made, they tried to make suburbs before like city folk were really ready for it.

Yeah.

You needed like an intra-generational shift before the suburbs could actually exist in concept.

Yeah.

And they tried it in Long Island first, and then now you get all these like freaks that have like a yard and they shouldn't.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Well, that was the transition happened too fast because it would always go from like Ireland or Italy to the Bronx to the suburbs.

That was the move.

And that either like kicked out to Long Island or to Rockland County or New Jersey.

And yet, it usually would happen sometimes before they were ready.

They didn't even acclimate to the Bronx, let alone.

That's yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah, so it was just a fucking mess.

But my family, like it was one of those things where I thought I grew up, my parents were kind of just a little elitist.

And I grew up thinking that was my family in Long Island.

That's not me.

But as I've aged, I've realized that that is my DNA blueprint is just like uncut white trash.

Yeah, but Long Island is also like ghetto-ized too, where they're like incredibly like waspy, rich places, incredibly like Jewish, rich places, like East and West egg and like, you know,

like little rascals, dirt on the cheeks, like, you know, everybody running around, no parents.

I've only seen that Long Island depicted in one movie, which I think is like so.

It's such fertile territory for like

making a storytelling or whatever.

But it's in that

the Adam Sandler Chris Rock movie that they made with Smigo called The Night of about their kids getting married.

It's like a later Sandler movie, but it's like the only depiction of mid-island, like the kind of like Long Island where like they brag about that Snapple is from here.

You know what I mean?

Like that's all they have.

Yeah.

Like the island, yeah, the Islanders and Snapple is basically all they have.

I love it too.

I mean, there's something,

I love that shit.

Well, what's crazy, too, is before like Levittown, before they built the fucking highways and made Long Island what it was, there was old money on the North Shore, I guess.

But for the most part,

the culture of Long Island was like, goes back to the, like, it didn't evolve culturally from like the late 1500s and 1600s up until like

the fucking 1920s and 30s.

And so, like, the islanders were like, I mean, they were like seafaring,

you know, like weird.

You know,

they were like British, like, you know, like, yeah.

That makes sense with the logo.

It like doesn't even fit Long Island now.

Yeah, it was all like baymen.

So they're like, you know, you go out on the water and you get the fish and they fucking

perfect storm.

Yeah, you know,

yeah, literally.

It was like that.

But even that still got like, I mean, they're like New England guys, kind of, but it was like, yeah, this like bizarre

baymen culture of just fishing and then owning nothing, I guess, except your fucking boat.

Really, I only know that from the song Down Easter Relaxa.

I don't know.

Yeah, he's all from Billy Joel songs, I was going to say.

There's still some like full-time pirates, though, that live on Long Island.

Like my dad's.

Well, not according to the song.

I didn't know.

If you check the source material, there's no island left for islanders with me.

I remember when I was little, I met one of my father's friends, KB, who had literally like he had all of his teeth from this side to the middle, and then none of his teeth from this side to the other side and he was just one of those dudes who had never left the water never lived on like solid ground constantly was just going from from bar to bar that he could tie his boat up to shit faced and just i honestly it looked like an ideal life i heard that north fork still has spots like that yeah of like sufficient county yeah yeah yeah like salty ass like uh yeah just

weathered weathered skin yeah i went to like my girlfriend's family has a place in the springs like out out like way east.

I met a guy years ago and it was on some job.

I can't remember what it was but he was like uh he had come from like an islander family that goes back.

So his parents were sailors and then he learned how to sail and he was very good at sailing.

So then he got a job.

He like worked at just sailing ships for rich people, like their fucking yachts and stuff.

Or they would buy a sailboat, like a rich person would buy a sailboat and they're like, I want to get to the Caribbean the fastest, you know, like and so they hire him to win races for them, basically.

Yeah, but that was his like life, I guess, leading up to, I can't remember.

I want to say it was like PAing or something.

I wish I could remember where I met that guy.

That's sick, though.

I mean, isn't that, that would be the goals if you could just competitive sailor.

Unreal.

You just cut through the chop for some rich people.

It's Wolf of Wall Street and just heading to Monaco.

You get to fuck Margot Robbie.

No, no.

She's mad at the husband.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

we got, he's like, I know this guy who's got the best scallops and he just lives on his boat.

And he's one of those guys.

But he was like, yeah, he's just on Tina.

And I was like, what's that?

He's like, like Christina Aguilera, like Crystal.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, they just go out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I've mentioned it on the show before, but they just do crystal and they're the best at getting fish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like locked in on getting fish.

Yeah.

You can fix their sonar with their bare hands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But great guy.

Great scallops.

Perfect Storm is actually a great movie.

I love that movie.

I remember being disappointed by it when it came out.

Maybe because I was a child and I was like expecting them to survive.

So in the end, when they're like, and everyone dies.

Well, everyone dies.

Every character in the movie is dead at the end of the movie.

It's not like one, there's not one of them where it's like, you know, the black guy and the white girl, they make it.

And it's like, oh, I didn't think it would be them.

But, you know, it's like none of them.

I always wondered how they even knew what happened.

Like, I guess they got the

coordinates of the boat and shit.

Yeah, it just went missing.

But they just assumed, I mean, you know, they

don't know any of those conversations.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what always fucked me up when I was a kid, though.

Like, based on a true story, I believe that wholeheartedly, where I was like, oh, this is what happened verbatim.

It was probably like five minutes in.

They're like, I don't know, the storm's looking pretty bad.

What do you think?

Just gay fuck till the end?

We just orgy.

We all fuck each other into the storm.

And then, and then

it was, it was, it was 37 hours of just hardcore, rough trade,

no protection, three dicks and one man.

PG-13.

You're right.

There's so much blood,

you don't even process it anymore.

Well, that's how they caught the fish after that.

Yeah, right.

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The apple martini.

Nick is a debonier kind of guy.

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50%.

Yeah.

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At the golf course, too.

That's really good.

Are you a golfer?

I have, yeah, I am a golfer.

I've actually done it there where it has locked me in for like a hole or two.

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Did you get the hat?

Yeah, I did get the hat.

Of course, Nick.

Of course, I got that hat.

The scally cap thing.

Of course, I got that.

I didn't get the

one with the palm on top.

Huh?

Oh,

what did you say?

The Knickerbockers.

You dragged the middle of that word on the first time.

Don't do that.

I didn't even catch it.

I just heard how Pete was laughing.

There's a sports.

Oh, come on.

Those are not.

Don't do this.

I'm 37 years old.

I have a lot to lose right now.

I have an EP coming out.

I have an EP.

20 minutes of topical material on the war.

On Kamala.

Stuff I have to burn.

I didn't say that word.

And Lucy would never say that word.

That's for sure.

And they would never tell me to say it.

I got the hat.

I didn't get the, you know, the short pants.

Sure, yeah.

That the New York basketball team with the argyle socks is named that for

they chose the name it's weird that that's not what they they didn't call

that they didn't call Bagger Van you know

that that wasn't the title of that movie

I had no idea that it was like a golf pants thing

I didn't say that word.

Can you imagine that movie coming out of him smiling on the cover and you see the title, The Knickerbocker.

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What the hell is Bagger Vance, by the way?

I don't think I've ever even actually seen the movie.

Bagger Vance is

Madgro.

Yeah, I know, but it's like over.

Was he a ghost?

He's a ghost.

Okay.

Yeah, he's one of those ghosts that show up and give you the best advice at the pivotal point of the movie.

Right.

Yeah, and he's wise and black.

Like, I could always say that's what I assumed it was: just a fake caddy, and he was actually carrying his own bag the whole time.

And he was having some sort of schizophrenic conversation with a black guy he made up.

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Thank you so much, Lucy.

And now we're back to the show.

And we're back.

So let's say things escalate, right?

It's just we have to send people to the Middle East, and then Russia does, and then we're

going to

confrontation.

Birthright.

And then nukes are flying.

Are we sitting here doing this still?

We're sitting here.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

I always think about like, you know, in the Titanic, they're like, and they kept playing as the ship went down.

And it's not like, they were probably just like, well, I don't, this is my job, so I don't know what the fuck.

It all knows if it'll fucking fall.

I don't know.

Yeah, maybe it'll be fine.

Maybe the serial stay on.

Yeah, right.

It's not even.

And Kill Tony went on.

You should have done that.

And Reton tried out stand-up comedy.

Maybe they all brought out the violins.

Things are collapsing.

Yeah, I mean, something's got to start the new civilization.

So podcasting might be it.

Maybe that's the, maybe that's the

foundation.

No, it's not going to be that.

Not if I have anything to say about it.

I think there should be more podcasts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think that just a couple.

Do you know the CIA has a podcast now?

For sure.

Like, no, I mean, I literally have it.

It's the CIA podcast.

It's called the Langley Files.

Oh, it literally does.

Two CIA guys that sit around fucking podcasting.

Is it officially

from the CIA's podcast?

Like me undies as ads in the middle of a fucking

or whatever?

Well, I would imagine their money mostly comes from selling heroin, but they don't.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

From the complicated colours.

Yeah, right, exactly.

Yeah.

Who are the hosts?

I don't know, a couple of CIA guys.

It's guys.

Yeah.

Well, at least it's guys.

Yeah.

I would get pissed off if

it was like girls.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, talk about coups.

Actually, that would make a difference in my misogyny.

It seems like that's what they're kind of aiming for with Iran.

That seems like that's the response.

They're going to try and force regime change

without an invasion.

And I don't know,

is that possible?

Isn't the only way...

Propaganda?

Is it the only way to do a regime change by finding a general that's like, sure, I'll kill all the citizens?

And then you're like, great, here's a bunch of money and intel and resources.

Like you can't go to like women that want to wear scarves or whatever and be like, you can do it.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's not how it works.

You know what I mean?

But you got the fucking son of the Shahs.

Like, he's making all these videos now.

They had an election for him.

Did you see that?

This video is like the, like, it's like the Washington Jewish Council or something in D.C.

They're at like, they're at a Kurt Shackleford show, and they're like,

I am pleased to announce His Majesty, the King of Iran.

Shah Pahlavi.

And then this guy comes out.

He's like, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Where is he?

What's the name of the

young gun?

Who is he?

Reza Pahlavi, yeah.

His name's also Reza?

Yeah.

You know, I was talking to Ryan, our Ryan, on the phone.

He's like, yeah, my dad's there right now visiting his mom.

And I'm like, they're still Jews?

He's like, yeah, there's still Jews.

I was like, didn't they tell us that all the Jews got kicked out?

He's like, no.

One of the funniest, I saw a Reddit post one time, and there's a picture of like Tehran in the fall, which is very pretty.

It's like, it's a gorgeous country.

Yeah, really pretty.

And

there's like a picture, and it looks very pretty.

And you can see, you have all this infrastructure.

They got a highway and this beautiful architecture.

And like the top comment is just some Reddit guy saying, that's Iran with the

inquisitive emoji.

Like they really have people thinking that it's like fucking just like a desert.

True cave.

Yeah.

Nothing, nothing.

Yeah, no.

no, no, no.

Society, culture comes from there.

Yeah.

I went to the Middle East in 2019.

I was in Jordan, Kuwait, and Bahrain.

I forget which one kind of borders Iran, but they were saying that

some of the

soldiers, I guess, I don't know if I should even say this, but a couple of them would go off base and like drink at a local bar and immediately be drugged and wake up and their entire bank accounts were empty and all the shit.

And they would go on Tinder and find like an Iranian woman and meet up with them.

And of course she worked for some other group.

And it was like a huge problem.

I would imagine that happens everywhere, except in Japan where the soldiers go and rape 12-year-olds.

That's apparently, Pete, that's right.

Isn't that like a big Navy problem?

Yeah.

In Okinawa, yeah, they go off base and they rape children.

Wow.

And it's like, and it's Japan, so they're like, please stop disrespecting us.

They can't do anything about it.

the other hand,

these child rapes have got to stop.

But yeah, that's.

Hey, no, look, support the troops, whatever.

But yeah, wait, is it local?

Like, local army or ours?

Ours.

Oh, ours.

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah, they leave.

They go out into Japan.

I mean, like, you can't even tell how old they are.

Yeah, right.

So you have no idea.

I like the spontaneity of this show.

Kind of anything could happen at any time.

Anything could happen.

But,

yeah, no, that's, that's, that's.

I would imagine that, there's a lot of bases where people wander off and then, you know.

Yeah.

I mean, it was weird.

In Bahrain, I went to this one.

I can't, I mean, if I was at a fucking bar here

and some guy in like a French sapper uniform with the dumb hat was like trashed at a bar, I'd be like, let's steal this motherfucker's hat, dude.

Let's at least take his hat at the very least.

If not the entire uniform.

Yeah.

And then see what kind of goofy money he has on it.

I think that's fair.

And it's also like, yeah, they are doing the dumb thing anyway by leaving the sanctity of the base.

They're going out there trying to pick up pussy in the middle of the Middle East.

Yeah, right.

What do you think is going to happen?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we have exciting times ahead of us.

I think so.

Well, yeah, I guess it's like there's going to be some kind of response to this ballistic missile attack.

Yeah.

It seems like, you know, it's funny because like...

I'm honestly asking you, so I'm not being like fake inquisitive.

I have a newborn, so I'm so not, like everything that you're saying, I'm aware that generally.

Well, I'm also, I'm an imbecile, so I'm not the guy to ask.

I'm even more so because I'm like, please feed me all the information you have.

Yeah, I'll say things, and then people will laugh, and I'll be like, yeah, I guess that was a joke.

I meant it with my full heart, but for sure, yeah.

But

no, it's funny because it's like, like, like the like Masad, maybe not even the Masad itself, but there's this mystique around the Mossad and how good Israel is at doing sneaky things.

Sure.

You know, with this like Pager attack.

But that cuts both ways because...

Israel's never been in a position.

If any country that you could carry out like a false flag attack on, they're more vulnerable than any other place in the world.

If I'm like, if I'm the IRGC, what I'm doing, you could just fucking say the Ayatollah has a tummy ache and then launch the missiles because they're like, well, the Mossad did it.

And then half these people would be like, the Mossad gave them a tummy ache.

They never saw it coming.

Right.

You know, it's like,

you could do anything.

You could blow up an empty fucking building in Tehran and just say, oh, they did it.

Right.

And everyone would believe it.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's because of the movie Munich.

Because they got a sexy Australian guy to play one of them.

Who's the Eric Bannock?

Eric Bannock.

That's right.

Former comedian.

Who was a comic?

Apparently, it was funny.

Oh, no, no.

Yeah, but...

Yeah.

But it made them look more badass.

I mean, the Pager thing made it look pretty badass, like that just from the outside looking.

The videos look like Looney Tunes.

I mean the videos look like

it looked like you ever see when somebody like crawls through a maze of mouse traps or something like that.

That's kind of what it looked like.

Just firecrackers going off.

The footage looked like a hidden camera prank show.

Yeah.

It looked like Trigger Happy TV.

It's just a big thing.

It didn't look like...

Yeah, it wasn't.

It was like Sal and Merc.

It looked like Sal gave away.

Was that?

Especially because a lot of the bombs went off at a Chuck E.

Cheese.

Yeah, they were.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It didn't look like as yeah, as uh it looked like because it was on T V too.

Yeah.

It was like it didn't like register like it i it it was like a goofy prank thing.

Totally.

Well, and I was kind of more impressed before I knew that they coded the parts and something.

Like it was that kind of thing.

I thought they could just access something that has already existed in the phones and just set them off.

No, but I mean you gotta be pretty dumb if you're like a a terrorist organization.

Because, like, I mean,

the world falls on one side or the other.

Yeah.

Either you're with fucking Russia and China or you're with the United States.

Well, yeah, they bought them from fucking Taiwan.

Why would you buy Taiwanese

if you're an internationally recognized terrorist organization?

Don't buy Taiwanese electronics.

I love the idea the boxes weren't even sealed.

Yeah,

but I mean,

don't try to get a good deal on it.

Because Lord knows an Israeli probably fucked with that.

It's probably the same store that like the Zohan worked at in Queens.

I'm just impressed they could even find that many beepers in bulk.

Like just in general, I didn't realize that those were still a sellable item.

Yeah, well, they still use them in healthcare.

Doctors still use them.

Because they use it differently.

It doesn't use like cell phone networks.

Gotcha.

It's like different technology.

right.

If there's an emergency, you need, like, you know, if a bomb goes off and blows up all the fucking cell phone towers, you still need doctors to be able to get to the hospital or nowhere to go.

Damn.

Yeah.

Makes sense.

Yeah.

If you needed like a boob job,

you need a

quick tit job.

Yeah, yeah.

But the solar flare knocked out cell phones.

I put on West Wing the other night.

I love that show.

It's an awesome show.

It's awesome.

It's so funny, too.

It's like the second episode, the very affable black White House doctor.

Like the president meets him, he likes him, you know, and then he's blown up in Syria.

The White House doctor is killed by a rebel group in Syria who shoot an RPG at a fucking commercial jet.

Like, I guess 30,000 feet up in the air, then fire

rocks.

Sorkin rocks.

Yeah, yeah.

That was one of my least favorite things during the Bernie era.

It was like a Rose emoji thing to shit on the West Wing.

I was like, I love that show.

Yeah, well, I made that point.

Now you're saying it.

No, when do you make that point?

That and Harry Potter too.

That's

multiple times.

That's fun when a relationship

kind of mind-meld and then you don't know who it is.

I wouldn't call it mind-melding so much.

An opinion I expressed.

When do you think it's internalized as much?

All right, let's go straight.

Scrub through that.

Scrub through that.

Yeah, yeah.

He never made that point, dude.

Honestly, he didn't make that point.

What's your favorite episode?

Of the West Wing?

Yeah.

The pilot.

No, I like the season when Jimmy Smith comes into it.

The end of the show.

I like that.

Those are the last two seasons where it's like

those ones suck.

The early ones are better.

With Josiah Bartlett, who's like...

Just such a shitty.

It's funny re-watching it.

He's like, he's sort of like, what if Andy Rooney was the president?

Right.

Because he has all these.

What's a mixture?

You know, there's all these dumb soliloquies where it's like, you know, like, okay, all of the cities have been nuked and we need to make a decision.

He'll be sitting here here with the Joint Chiefs.

He's like, two weeks ago, my daughter brought me a cookie she bought at the store, and I went to open it for her, but the packaging was too difficult to open.

Now I'm sitting here thinking, I don't want to look at the cookie.

I want to eat it.

Drive complaining about it.

Yeah, it's just a long

like to get to some dumb point at the end.

Did they make a movie before the show?

Like, is this the Michael Douglas and Redhead Chick movie?

Oh, the American President?

That's what I'm thinking of.

Okay, I'm thinking of something else.

Was that Sorkin who

movie?

I have no idea.

I don't know.

I think these are completely two different.

But anyways, the only point to bring up is it's funny because the social issues, the only thing that's changed since 1999 and now is that they don't use pagers anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And everything else is

the same.

Yeah.

I feel that way when I've watched, I re-watched the movie PCU recently, and I was like, oh, this is right now.

They're literally.

It's with Weird Out.

No, it's with Jeremy Piven.

What's the one with Weird Out?

Is it a UHF?

UHF.

Oh, I didn't see that one.

No, David Spade is in this weirdly.

Jon Favreau is in it as a fat guy with dreadlocks.

It's a college movie.

It's a college movie, yeah.

Jeremy Piven is supposed to be in college, but he has like a super pushback hairline.

He's gotten a great plug job.

Yeah, and he got it early, too.

Yeah, yeah.

He was one of the first.

Yeah.

Did you get plugs?

I didn't.

No.

Does it look that way?

No.

Well, your hair looks good.

You look like you've lost weight, but you weren't fat.

I know.

My wife even said that, too.

She's like, I didn't realize that you were like fat.

You weren't fat, but it looks like you've lost 100 pounds.

You're exactly right, though, dude.

And I did.

My face was like, in retrospect, fat.

But you didn't look like that in real life.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Were you drinking or on?

I was drinking.

Drinking.

I mean, but that was almost six years ago.

It's been more recent, though, because I just stopped eating late.

Like, I literally cut myself off at 8 p.m.

And it's all the difference in the entire world.

I'm back down to like what I weighed in college.

I don't eat after like 5 p.m., but like not meals.

So I'll have like reseason stuff.

That's what, dude.

I was like shoving pretzel rods in my face.

Oh, yeah.

Little things, nonsense.

I got to stop kidding myself with the pretzel.

When you buy the barrel and you're like, this will last me years.

Yeah, yeah.

You're not even home from the 60s.

It's from Costco.

Empty.

Yeah.

You just get salt and like four rods.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

No, I mean,

I think that it's typically people's faces change when they stop drinking.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I was like, I just had like kind of a people

blubber.

People's skin looks awesome when they saw this.

It is like an Irish guy thing where your head just gets wider.

Yeah.

Alex Baldwin's head is insane.

My father, too.

I come from a fucking long line of just like Irish St.

Bernard heads.

Yeah.

There's no neck.

It just goes shoulder to head.

Yeah, they just expand.

Brian Dennehy.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Do you have cops in your family?

I do a lot.

Everyone.

My grandfather was a cop.

My uncle was a cop, now turned comedian podcaster.

Oh, that's got to be crazy.

Yeah, of course it is.

So he's like, Do you have any advice for me?

Dude, I don't even talk to him anymore because that was what was happening.

He was like liberally dropping my name to anybody who would listen and try to.

Oh, my God.

If anyone in my family,

he's like Saul Goodman, basically.

True.

True.

One of his, I mean, one of his jokes, I really, I actually, I kind of like it, but he's like, you know, back in my day, we used to try to get some trim.

We called it trim because that's how

he dies?

This is how he fucking

does.

He does die.

I can play the video for you right now.

Yeah, can we actually right now?

Actually, you're helping him out, but yeah, do it.

I don't think he even does stand up anymore, to be honest.

He killed himself, though.

He's long dead.

He sounds awesome, actually.

Not a bad guy.

Let's hear the bit, though.

Is he trim?

Is because of what?

Here it is.

Because they used to trim their pussy.

Now, how is that a joke?

That seems like it's just etymology or whatever.

Of course.

There's not much.

You know why they call it gyp in people?

Because it comes from the gypsies.

Okay, are you a linguist?

I don't.

I mean,

let's say it's all in the delivery, probably.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So 61 is the new 51, they say, right?

They do.

And I work out all the time so I can stay trim.

So I can get some trim.

Do millennials know what that is?

Millennials.

Trim is pussy.

Yeah, millennials are like 45 years old.

And they get some of that bald shit.

It's not dice.

Wait, wait, let me look at him.

He's doing dice.

Yeah.

But that's also his real accent.

Like, that's not even a huge distance.

This is so someone's uncle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He just looks like...

Yeah.

No, he was like in homicide and you said pieces.

He's just at governor's?

No, this was actually at a bar show in the city.

It was the only show that him and I ever did together.

Interesting.

And I walked in on his set and I was like, I gotta

record.

Has he ever had to go on leave for a brutality?

I don't know.

I actually, you know what?

I've never looked up his citations or anything like that,

which is a public.

It sounds like a good idea.

I don't want to ruin his whole life, but he's retired anyway.

Did his back hurt ever?

Sure.

But did he ever

have to deal with it with his pills and then have a problem with the back pills?

I wish I knew, dude.

I don't even talk to any of my extended families.

Has he ever called into WFAN?

Yeah, definitely.

100%.

Has he called in to Mike and the Mad Dog?

100%.

Oh, Mike.

I'm the Jets' regular caller.

And then he's like, yeah, hey, Mike, how's it going?

So I'm trying to get trim

because

he just running.

You can get pushing, man.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

I don't understand.

I don't understand.

Why are you saying this to me?

What are you talking about?

Did you know who's what me is?

What does that mean?

Hello?

Who is this?

Joey Gallo?

I love, I love.

I had two uncles do stand-up comedy since I started doing comedy, and it's like the class.

support.

It's not real support.

It's like if this homo can do it, I can fucking do it.

You fucking uncle.

They suck.

They did it.

One of my uncles, I respect.

He's really funny.

He's 6'5 ⁇ , like 400 pounds.

Oh, I respect him, too.

Naturally funny.

Did it twice, killed, and was like, I'm done.

He's like, yeah, I beat the game.

Why would I ever do it again?

Yeah, smart.

Good for you.

That's how you do it.

You quit immediately.

For real.

Why chase it?

Yeah.

I did that.

I threw a free throw one time.

Swish.

So, NBA, I don't think so.

They miss all the time.

If you watch, they miss.

Yeah, they do.

And you have to do it.

I did have.

Yeah, I never did.

That would be sick if your first and only basketball shot was a make and you're like, that's it.

I will literally never touch a basketball shot.

Yeah, I'm too good at this.

100% from the field for my life.

Right.

Yeah.

I fucked one time.

I busted so fast.

That's how good I am at sex.

I busted in five seconds.

So what's this?

They got a sequel to Gladiator coming out on the sneak.

On the sneak?

There's been no marketing for this movie at all.

Yeah, there's just been like still images peppered in.

It's coming out like next week, basically.

No, it is really November, yeah.

Oh, I thought it was for next year.

I thought they were only showing like production shipping.

No, it's coming out.

It's coming out in fucking November.

Gladiator 2.

Damn.

And what's his tits says it's like the best movie that's ever made.

The guy, I forgot his name.

Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey.

The multiple tits.

What's his tits?

What's his tits?

Ridley Scott said it was like the best movie ever made, better than the first one.

Really?

This is how he's promoting the movie, yeah.

I mean, I'm stoked.

I like the Irish dude.

I might try smoking weed for it.

Nice.

Which I haven't done in, I don't think, five years now.

I'm going to, I got tickets for New Joker, which I didn't realize they made either.

Falia D.

Yeah, it's a musical It sure is.

Yeah.

I haven't heard anything about that either.

It's a good original.

Have you really not?

I have not.

Oh, because there's been a cascade of negative reviews.

One person I know that said it's great.

No shit.

I haven't heard anyone even say it's great.

But I think it's going to be one of those things that turns because everybody immediately said it.

Do you think it's because it's an election year that you were just not hearing about movies coming out?

Maybe.

I heard about Alien Romulus and I went to see that.

Yeah.

I saw Deadpool Wolverine.

It's probably because it's election time, so there's just not.

Yeah.

That's why I put out my special mid-September.

I was like,

I'm not competing with this shit.

And that's why the EP is coming out four weeks before the election.

Hot topical material.

But it's about it.

This is what I love that you're doing, though, is you're an American going to a different country to talk shit about America.

Why?

Not being a foreigner coming to America.

A coward.

Running away.

Yeah.

But finding a friendly audience that will be.

I was giving them the business too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You let them know.

Well, I mean, they would give shit about Ireland because I hope you did.

I'm fucking, I've been talking, I'm mad about it right now.

There was food.

I love Ireland.

Have you been back?

I played Gaelic football for a long time.

When I was 15.

Where did you, where in Long Island?

No, Rockland County, and then we would play in Vancourtland Park and the Bronx.

So what's that?

It's like soccer, but you just imagine the hands.

Yeah, just imagine the

rugby, soccer.

There's elements of volleyball, basketball.

Like, it starts with a jump ball.

Australian rules football is the same game, but with a different ball.

But it's like, it's really physical.

It's fast-paced.

There's a lot of scoring.

It's great.

Sorry, Audrey.

I asked.

You're right.

You're right.

I was the one that asked.

You should call into

Mike the Mad Dog and ask him if he's into it.

Try to talk.

Talk hurling.

I don't know what this is.

I don't know what you're talking about.

But yeah, I haven't been back as an adult to perform or anything like that or even any kind of cultural understanding of where I came from.

Yeah, I really loved Ireland.

I didn't expect to as much as I did.

Do you have any people there or you just went?

No, I went with my girlfriend's family.

They're like, I guess.

They're white, so they're from Ireland.

They're bay, yeah.

Like every white person.

Well, they're like New York City, so they're Italian, Irish, Jewish.

So like some combination.

So, yeah.

Oh, well, Pearl River in Rockland County is the most highly concentrated town of Irish people outside of Ireland in the world.

You would think it would be Chinese.

Why?

Pearl River.

This is Pearl River.

Yeah.

Yanksey in Rockland County.

No, her grandparents do live in Rockland County.

They live in Upper Grandview.

It's very nice.

That's where I'm at.

Oh, really?

No shit.

You live there now?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's beautiful there.

Yeah, it is.

It's like a three-block neighborhood.

But how are the taxes?

The taxes got to be bad.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't own a home.

Do you drive into the city?

Yeah, every day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

On the GW.

Yeah, I don't mind it at all, dude.

I was living out in Crown Heights and I was taking a train in.

It was 45 minimum an hour typically to any club.

And now my drive.

From Crown Heights?

Yeah, dude.

On the A.

I lived on Nostrand and Prospect.

So right between the A or the 2345.

And, you know, it would just some, it would to Upper West Side, a stand-up New York or something.

Yeah, I guess I'd be going to go to Arctic.

Right, yeah.

It was crazy.

But now

I live in Bedstein.

It's fucking 20 minutes

from anywhere below, you know, the park.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, cellar is really easy.

Yeah.

I'm actually very inspired by you living there.

No kidding.

Yeah.

It's kind of smart, no?

I take the Palisades in your in the city.

Yeah, yeah.

Not yet.

The Palisades.

I'm here.

One time I got a blow job on the Palisades Parkway.

On the parkway.

Yeah, and it was too many turns.

But it felt gay to say, I don't want a blowjob.

But it's a windy road.

Yeah, it's not that windy.

It's a lot of these.

It shows.

It's just like a little bit like.

It's a lot to concentrate on, I suppose.

It's the only time a guy has sucked my penis.

You're like, this is fucking gay.

It's gay to say no if some guys try to suck your penis.

That's cool, though.

I don't know know if I've ever gotten roadhead in my entire life.

It was the one time I ever did, but I remember it was on the Palisades Parkway, and I was like a little bit like, this is too dangerous.

In my mind, I thought it was too dangerous.

So then I got in the slow lane.

So also, too, you think about what happened with an accident.

That airbag would have snapped their neck right away.

100%.

Dude, Furza, every single night that I come home from the city, there is a smearing of blood across the parkway from a freshly demolished deer.

I feel like the the

the Jersey turnpike used to be a death trap back in the 90s.

And it's like it doesn't seem like I have not seen a bad accident on the Jersey turnpike

like in the last 10 years.

I saw one because I always look them up afterwards.

So I did see one guy die.

But

it used to be, I feel like I would see burning cars and fucking like just horrific wrecks.

It's still the case on the parkway because there's no lights.

Yeah.

It's nothing.

You're in the pitch black.

The only light you have is your headlights.

That's it.

So you just fucking

the turnpike has those like the outer and the inner like lanes, right?

The truck lanes are on the outside.

Do you know that used to be children?

Like when cars and roads were first invented?

Like they would just be like

there would just be kids laid out on the side of the road like deer because there were no guardrails.

Nobody knew what to do.

They were playing in the road.

Oh, that shit.

They just get absolutely trucked.

Well, it took a while for them to figure out that like we need speed limits and any kind of like road control.

So they just had roads and you could drive your automobile.

Well, the cleanup was just as slow, if not slower.

So there'd literally be some kid in fucking, you know, buckle shoes on the side of the road with the socks pulled up.

Right.

Books everywhere.

Scary, dude.

It is scary.

Are you afraid of your kids dying all the time now?

You're one of those.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm because they could die in so many different ways.

They sure can.

Especially when they're so small.

Yeah.

I've had

friends die in young ages.

So it's like,

yeah, it's ever-present.

Constant fear.

Like

when you were a kid.

When I was in high school, especially, we dropped a bunch of friends.

And then going into it.

Oh, jackass videos.

Yeah, yeah.

A lot of shopping carts.

Shopping carts.

Yeah, yeah.

A lot of paralyzation.

Some ended in death.

Jackass had to have killed, like, let's say, like,

500 kids, probably.

Who should be dead from it?

Do you know Mike Feeney?

One of my good buddies.

Dude, he.

He was doing jackass.

He was doing jackass.

There's videos of him in the back of his friend's Honda Civic doing like a buck 20 on a back road on Long Island.

Could have killed anybody, could have flipped his car, went into a house, all this shit.

And they're like, like in the back seat, having a great time.

And it's like, if you were my friend, if I knew you back then, you would have died.

Yeah.

That's my connection to people that have that kind of fun.

My friend was telling me that in high school, him and his friends got into Ghost Riding the Whip, right?

And he did it on a decline.

And he got out of the car.

First of all, he was like, yeah, I didn't know how slow you had to get the car.

So he got out of the car at like 30 miles an hour.

Oh, my God.

It just started rolling.

And then his car, then he has, he was like bleeding.

He had to chase after his car.

And I was like, so your friends were like in the car with you?

He was like, no, I did it alone.

I was like, why would you ghost ride the whip alone?

It was truly practicing.

He was like, yeah, I was going to my friends' house.

And so he was like, yeah, I was going to just tell them, oh, I ghost rode the whip, bro oh my god dude so his car

he put it in neutral he got out like this the car was like 28 miles an hour just like fucking like rolls oh my god his car is like on a decline i've gotten out of a golf cart when it's like still rolling and falling down like i was flipped golf carts like multiple times yeah 100 yeah yeah in high in high school i i grew up in vegas so we have like a ton of golf courses which is like an first of all ecological

disaster.

Is it though?

Yeah.

But they're like nature.

You're feeding grass

elsewhere.

The water is good.

It's so hot.

No, but the water is good.

Hold on, because now I really don't.

I'm not like an anti-climate change guy, but now you're going to tell me there's no water.

Grass is bad.

Grass is bad.

Grass is bad.

Yeah.

What?

So it's so hot.

Okay, so first of all, the city pays you to get rid of your lawn.

So you get a tax credit on your house if you get desertscaping your house.

So, like, I remember we had a backyard with a lawn, and my dad, like, got rid of it because

it's so hot that when your sprinklers go off, like, like 50% of the water is evaporated before it hits the grass.

It's like, it's whatever.

But because it reminds me of, you ever wear a big beard in the wintertime, you get icicles in it?

Yeah.

And I'm like, this is awesome, dude.

I'm a monster.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm Mamook of the North.

I'm a fucking girl alone.

I feel like you could do that.

Do you watch that show?

I could not do it.

Whatever it is, I can't do it.

The guy who went.

I feel like you're so good with your hands, you know how to build shit.

Like, dude, they sent me a bunch of people.

I can barely get out of bed.

They figured it out.

But you could be alone and handle that.

The psychology of it, I think.

Totally.

Oh, yeah, 100%.

If I did alone in a moment, if you dropped me in the middle of the woods,

if you gave me like fucking, I don't know, like 16 packets of Jax Lynx, I guarantee you I could survive three weeks in the woods because I would just be sitting out there doing voices.

Yeah.

And have like characters.

And saying it.

Yeah.

Just talking to a single person.

Letting it rip.

And saying it.

Letting it rip.

No mics in it.

No microphones around.

Just in the by myself.

How are you doing?

My name is Jamal Ponco.

Just talking to you.

Y'all got a job.

Y'all got jobs out here.

Oh, nothing?

You ain't got shit?

Okay.

All right.

All right, then.

Yeah, I'm just out in the woods.

I'll just be out.

I'll be out of here.

Just being a fucking.

Just doing a character.

I'm like, what if a black guy was on this show?

They figured out early on in that show that you have to put on like 100 pounds before you go on.

Yeah, yeah.

Right?

That's kind of cheating, though.

You can't go in skinny because you're fucked.

No, because they all thought they would be able to hunt immediately.

They didn't anticipate that like the areas they were in were not fully stocked.

Within the first two seasons, they're like, you got to go in fat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then they just starved themselves for the first two weeks and then you set up a gillie net or whatever, a gill net.

I'd be dead within five seconds.

Instantly.

It is my dream, though.

I watch, like, my whole algorithm are like small Mayan men building lean tos in the woods.

And there's something about that that seems very,

very interesting.

Yeah.

And Chinese ladies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There are a lot of Chinese ladies.

I just get recommended soldering videos.

It's just like people making small electronics.

That's awesome.

No, it's not.

I don't look that shit up.

I guess it's because I clicked on it once.

Yeah.

And now everything is like, watch me bring this old computer back to life.

And I'm like, all right, I guess I'll.

But I don't like it.

I don't want that.

I also got into building school buses into homes.

Okay.

Fan life stuff.

Yeah, I get a lot of that.

Yeah, it looks sick.

Like, if I didn't have kids, my life, if I didn't have kids and a wife, my life would be completely different.

You'd be Brian Laundry.

Oh, yeah.

Similar.

Very similar.

Kill your girlfriend.

Yeah, I'd find an influencer with

low subs, build her up, and then murder her.

Build her up, kill her, then get eaten by alligators.

Oh, shout out to Florida.

I heard you guys did all right in this hurricane.

Minus the

Tampa Bay Rays Stadium.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it said the roof got ripped off, but I'm watching this.

It was made out of vinegar?

Yeah, this was a vine.

This was paper.

I mean, it is a tarp.

It's like six doilies taped together.

Right.

Yeah, I think people kind of over blew that storm.

Yeah, yeah.

To save face, they were like, oh, the roof.

You know what sold the storm was?

I'm sorry, you said 10 million people would be dead.

Yeah.

You said 10 mil?

I watched.

No, no, no.

It was awesome.

There was a weather management.

Now people get to be like, climate change, fake.

Fake.

Yeah.

Especially Florida.

Because that's why they overshot it in Florida.

This is their like, well, clearly, this is bullshit.

Well,

it wasn't them doing it.

I mean,

there was a meteorologist that there's a clip of him that went viral from like three days before the storm, and he was crying.

and he's like we know why this is happening and that that made it seem like oh this is about to be the biggest one ever

and so i actually watched the storm on tv last night getting ready and then i woke up this morning i was like and checked the storm yeah i i saw i saw a guy there was a guy on twitter because i i like it was from like two days ago they were like this is completely fucking overblown this thing's gonna be category two by the as soon as it hits land like they were it was like yeah the eye is gonna collapse it'll be category two this is a big fucking nothing burger or whatever.

And he posted that like two days ago.

So I was like, is this guy smart or something?

So I like to check his timeline.

And he's really into masturbating.

It's this whole thing.

Like all the other,

all the other tweets are about, like, I think I'd ruined my life jacking off.

I have a girlfriend now, but I'll never escape the incel mentality.

It doesn't matter how many, how much pussy I get.

It's just, that's me.

That's like his whole thing.

There's like a lot about being 5'2.

He's awesome.

Yeah.

And then he's got this one tweet where he's like, here's what's going to happen.

It's kind of like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer's like, the thing is going to burn up, and it's not even going to be.

And it ends it like, the scariest part is that Homer was right.

It's the broken clock.

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And we're back.

So,

I don't know.

So, this storm did nothing.

It seems like it's fine.

Yeah, I guess North Carolina got hit worse, right?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

North Carolina's fucked up.

Which, by the way, I will be there tomorrow.

I'm in Charlotte doing a benefit show

at the Comedy Zone tomorrow and the day after.

Yeah, it's going to the North

Carolina community.

I had to go on a, I don't know.

Like, you know, I was like, okay,

how do you find a good charity?

I didn't know any of the stuff.

So then there's a website, Charity Navigator, that ranks the North Carolina Community Fund.

It was the first one listed because it's everything for, it's like Helene charities.

Yeah.

And then the first 15 are all in like fucking Georgia.

And then the first one that was for North Carolina, I was like, okay, we'll do this one.

But then the name is like the North Carolina Community Fund, and it's like the Western Disaster Relief Fund.

Yeah.

So it's pretty non-dis doesn't have a cool name, but I guess their financial audits are

up to the standards of whatever Charity Navigator is.

So

we're doing them, but yeah, that's who the benefit is for.

And we're going to be down there anyway, and then you're just,

you know, that's a great idea.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So go check that out.

Also, I will be in Syracuse next month, and there are more dates that are going to be announced shortly.

Uh, where will you be?

I have a special out now on YouTube called Traumatized Animal.

Check that out, please.

And then I'm on the road

this month.

I'm going to be in D.C.

I'm going to be in Philly.

I'm

going to be in Wilmington, North Carolina.

Everything at MikeCannonComedy.com.

Weren't they guaranteeing death to certain areas of Florida?

Yeah.

Like, literally saying, like, you will die if you remain in this area.

Yeah, right.

No matter what.

Yeah, and then I love all the videos.

Your guys are like, fuck you, man.

That's the only reason we have videos of the storm.

It's because it was a guy who was like, I'm not fucking worried about a fucking hurricane, dude.

I'm going to sit here and take fucking videos.

I saw somebody wrap up their entire, it was either a Lambo or a Ferrari, and they bought so much plastic wrap that they literally wrapped it up in it.

That's awesome.

That does nothing.

They're like, we're just keeping it in the garage.

Hopefully it doesn't wash away.

But if it does, it'll be dry.

It's like the Lexus December to Remember event.

Do you remember those commercials where there's a bow on top of a car?

Yeah.

And I was like, one day my husband will do that for me.

I can't wait.

I mean, he's basically effectively put his car in like...

a sandwich bag.

I did see a video.

I did see a video of one of those electric, the Rivian, the electric pickup truck

in Asheville.

This guy's truck floated like 700 feet away.

It was caked in mud.

Oh, I saw that trick.

And

he started and it started.

That's pretty sick.

That's not free promo for that, whatever the fuck that company is.

Yeah.

Apparently, there's also a hiding spot

between the bed and the cab of that car.

It's a secret annex.

Yeah, that's like a seat where you could hide Jews.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's how you traffic a child

in the Rivian.

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

Sick.

You could fit two Jews or six kids.

There's an empty diary just in there waiting.

Just branded.

My diary.

My diary.

The open-page dog ears, so you know where to fill it in.

Very nice.

Yeah, so nothing happened in Florida, I guess.

No.

Yeah.

The attempt to kill all those Republican voters before this blowout.

Nice try, Kamala.

Not going to work.

Are they going to debate again or no?

I don't think so.

No.

There's no reason for, I think they're, they,

like, Trump's campaign is like, yeah, we we don't have to do anything.

So am I wrong?

Because again, I feel completely disconnected from a lot of, like, just mainstream news in general.

Am I wrong to think that like the attention to the election has kind of died down a little bit, or is that just me personally?

No, I think people are definitely paying attention to the election.

Okay.

All right.

Because it's it, like, I just remember 2016 being, like, such a fever pitch leading up to it.

And granted, I didn't have kids at that point.

But I just thought, like, it doesn't feel like that to me right now.

I think our only hope is that it's a blowout one way or the other.

You know?

Because then it puts an end to whatever this current era is.

Yeah.

The stealing thing.

Well, not just the stealing thing, but whatever the cultural thing is.

If it's like a complete blowout, then fucking the Democrats need to completely recalibrate

what their plank is.

Right.

Yeah.

And same thing vice versa.

If Trump lose, then that's like the end of this MAGA shit.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So what are the polls saying?

The polls are saying that it's fucking

basically right there.

But it's just three states, just Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan.

Right, yeah.

I think the polling averages are now that he's ahead in Michigan.

She went up in Pennsylvania after Biden dropped out, which doesn't make any sense to me at all, but that's what I heard.

Well, her

favorability went up as soon as they made the switch.

Yeah.

But then it's been slowly.

Like it had a pickup for a while, and now it's like dropping again since she's been making like, you know.

She did have a beer on Culp Air, though, so that should boost things.

Yeah, well, that's Stern this week.

She did Stern, she did Call Her Daddy.

Trump did fucking Andrew Schultz's podcast.

Was a Kosh there, or was it just

he was?

Okay, so I'll watch it for Akash.

We gotta see that it should have just been a Kosh.

Akash and Trump.

It should have.

Yeah.

Because, you know, Akash would be like, you know, like us.

We know what we know what females are thinking.

Trump's like, right, right.

That would be an amazing podcast.

That would be fun.

Trump was like, yes.

I would love to see that.

Pete, we'll put a little beep, maybe.

Maybe we'll put a little beep.

That's the first time anything was said on this podcast, just for the record.

It's the name of the basketball team.

I didn't buy the pants.

I wore the hat.

Did you watch the Schultz Trump?

No, I just watched the clips.

I'm not like, I don't know.

I watched this clip on Theo, where Theo is describing Coke to him.

Yeah, Trump did Theo's podcast.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I see.

I wasn't aware of that.

I thought this was like the first of his.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I don't know.

Great for these guys.

They're getting a boost in the audience.

That's cool.

I'm not a big fan of like just platforming.

No comic is watching public.

It's insane.

It just feels like a quick grab for an audience, and then it probably dissipates a week later or whatever.

But

get your money, do whatever.

Yeah.

I would love it if I would love if he came on this.

I would love just to meet him one time.

I bet he would.

No.

He seems to be making the rounds, though.

He's like, he's...

Yeah, but that's not.

This is not the rounds.

This is not the rounds.

Let's make it clear.

But I mean that across the board.

like even this will get 15,000 views.

You can't get a 3P suit and like interviewing Kamala as her, you know, the number one fan of her fan club.

That's super embarrassing.

Well, it's so funny too, because it's like the whole point of doing those is like, you know, oh, but we'll do, we'll access regular people.

But like even at this point, Howard Stern is worth like a billion dollars.

Yeah.

And then half these podcasters are like,

we have way more money than we should.

You know, but like, I mean, it's.

And no one listens to this.

And no one listens to me.

It's like Somehow.

Podcasters now have hundreds of millions of dollars.

It's like they're even more out of touch than

fucking if you just did local news.

He should go do local Fox affiliates.

Yeah.

That would be sick.

They're like, what do you think about this cat that got stuck in a tree?

Hopefully somebody's not trying to eat it.

They're still trying to get that story going.

Yeah.

I saw a thing on the conservative subreddit where they're like, they're eating pets.

They're were like, even if they are, I just don't think that that's.

People aren't voting for president based on

pet consumption.

You know what I mean?

It's like, it's such a ridiculous thing to focus on.

Yeah.

People are getting, people got really mad about that for some specific reason that I couldn't understand.

Yeah.

It didn't seem like a real thing, but even if it is,

I don't know.

I don't.

No, and it's also like, how often could that possibly be happening that it's an actual issue?

Also, if if your dog got eaten, that's your fault.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I almost want to give my cats away to somebody

to eat them.

Yeah.

I do not care for them.

Yeah.

Drop them off in Chinatown.

Your house won't smell like pee-pee anymore.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the thing.

Your kids can use the litter box now.

My kids can shit in a box.

Your kids can do.

I would.

That's almost better than diapers is cleaning out a box like that and just being able to scoop it.

It's less hand-to-that contact.

They're automatic.

I have a robotic one.

It's nice.

Yeah, I had one of those and it just shot fucking litter all over my house.

Like anytime it, I'd probably build it.

Israel.

Israel.

Israel.

Classic Israel.

Classic.

Yeah, I just want, they got to get, they should just do the election now.

Why are we waiting?

Because of the laws?

Do you have

said who you're going to not who you're going to vote for?

I will mosey on over to the polling place and probably just vote for Jill Stein.

You know, I mean, it's like, if I even vote, I don't know.

Yeah.

Is she in this?

Yeah.

Like, I haven't seen her ballot as an entire time.

Well, the Green Party never gets more than like, you know, they never even get into the fucking double digits, I don't think.

But

I don't know.

Like, it's so pointless anyways, you know, that it's like, okay, well, fine, I'll do this.

I'll get my sticker.

Yeah.

It's a block away from my apartment.

Voting is such an anticlimactic thing to do

with the amount of attention that gets placed on these elections and how important they are.

And then you get to the day of, and it's like, oh,

this is it.

And it does nothing.

You might find out in a few days.

If Eric Adams is on that ballot, I don't know

when his election is.

Then I'm voting for his ass.

I might write him in for president.

I don't understand.

He's the best mayor of my lifetime.

I don't know.

I just love that he was trying to connect in the Middle East to go to Chile or whatever.

He was just doing all this shit.

He's got my vote just for whatever he wants to run for for the rest of my life.

I give him my sword.

I love him so much.

There's never been a mayor since we've lived here that I've liked.

Yeah.

I think it's a job where you get booed.

Yeah.

Nick and I went to see Paul Simon like in

Queens once, and it was like before COVID, before like

de Blasio was like everyone, a great New Yorker, and it was like...

like NPR, like 68-year-old Jewish people, and they were like, fuck you.

Like, it's just a job where you get booed.

Like, it's not a fun job at all.

And this guy is just,

he's handling it with grace.

He's like a WWE hero.

People haven't universally liked the mayor since LaGuardia.

You have to go back like a hundred years to find the mayor that everybody's like, oh, he's our mayor.

Yeah, I mean, even post-9-11, Rudy is.

Yeah, but everybody got.

I mean, Harry Bush's approval rating after 9-11 was 93% for like a month.

That's a perfect fucking strike.

That's so unbelievable.

Still, I think, in my opinion, one of the greatest sports moments ever.

It was just such a from the rubber.

Yeah.

Just a great pitch.

Great World Series, too.

The Diamondbacks Yankees.

On wheel.

Be on Young Kim.

Just every save getting blown.

Was that the year Gonzo hit the flare to win it?

Game seven.

Yeah, that's right.

New York lost after 9-11.

Made it even better.

It was like the perfect storm.

There's no way New York was going to lose.

It was awesome.

But the Patriots did win.

So

that was the big favorite.

The Patriots won the Super Bowl.

So they were like, all right, we got one.

Do you think we're going to have another 9-11?

On 9-11 or a different day?

Oh,

another big kind of.

I don't know.

I mean, ever?

Ever, probably, but I don't know in my lifetime.

I don't think so.

I just feel like everybody's keyed into these big events now, too.

It's like, and even if they do happen, they're just immediately out of the news cycle.

You would say that if 9-11 happened,

no, but like, I'm talking about mass shootings and shit like that.

Like, it seems just so quickly just swept away.

But that's like a domestic thing, you know?

It's not like, oh, this was.

True.

Even the foreign stuff they try to do now, it's like people don't really care.

Like after the Trump assassination attempt, they're like, oh, Iran was trying to kill him.

People are like, fine.

Well, that's what I mean.

The second Trump assassination attempt, people were like, yeah, but we saw this movie.

Like, who cares?

Yeah, it was good.

What?

There wasn't a video.

Yeah, that's true.

There wasn't this.

Yeah, there was a fist pump.

The fist pump was on the level of Bush pitching from the rubber.

Yeah, in the rubber.

No, you're not the best.

That's the closest analog we've gotten.

That's all.

I don't know.

I don't think there's going to be another 9-11.

I mean, what's the thing?

You know what I'm excited to do is sit in that theater, high as shit, knowing who the president is going to be and watching Gladiator 2.

That's going to be the best part of the movie.

Is that I know who the president is going to be.

Is that Kamala?

Pick your wallpaper.

And that'll be, no matter what, it seems like it's going to be pretty bad.

The election?

No, whatever happens in the next four years.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's already bad, though.

We're just never going to get health care.

So, like, what, like...

Yeah, that's completely off the table at this point.

I mean, like, so what could they do?

But you can rack up medical debt, and it's not a problem anymore.

That's the thing.

I mean, that's like...

They can change that rule whenever they want.

Yeah, I don't think they will.

Who knows?

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Then that's the Joker 3.

What do you mean that's not a problem?

Like, it doesn't affect your credit?

Yeah, they can't report it to credit agencies.

That's why we've been told, everybody's like, hey, when you have a baby, like you get bills, like never pay it.

Just don't.

Don't pay it.

And then as soon as now it's illegal for them to report it to the credit reporting agent.

No shit.

So if they do that, if they even report it, then they're in violation of the law.

Wow.

If you have outstanding medical debt that's on there, still, you can just contact the credit reporting agents and say, hey, this is, I don't know if this slipped by your radar, but it's both illegal for the health care provider and the credit reporting agencies to list that.

Wow.

You know, so they're, you know, they're both, I don't know if that means you can sue them or if it's, if there's some way you report them to the C, what is it, CFPB?

So then what is the recourse for not paying?

Eventually they'll sue you.

Okay.

Yeah.

But depending on the amount of money, it's like they got to figure out whether this is worth it or not.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

I mean, it doesn't sound like a good system, though.

Like,

right.

Well, it's certainly better than suing your patients.

Yeah.

I mean it's certainly better than the system where you like have something bad happen and then they just start sending you bills they won't explain and then it fucks up your credit and then you can't buy a house or

80% of the bills are wrong too.

Yeah, right.

You know, well, I mean, it's just a bad system that if you get cancer, then you could just be in debt the rest of your life.

Right.

You know, that's not, that doesn't seem like a very good system.

But

what are they?

They're not doing it.

They don't care none of these people care anymore i would say because it's like you need a complete overhaul of everything something like this which is i don't even know if it's a federal law it's certainly the law in new york now yeah you know but um

because this like

cuts immediately directly to the issue affecting the consumer this is like a better type of incrementalism than some broad piece of policy like the like obamacare that might have these like minor wins broadly speaking speaking, but I don't think

you know, and then what?

Then do we get an update on it ever?

No, you know, we're going on 12 years now.

Yeah, so something like this where it's like, oh, we'll just fuck over the smaller debt collectors, and then it puts them all out of business.

Yeah, you know, fine.

Well, in either way, it doesn't seem like there's going to be any kind of like staying power to the change.

Like, even if they were to just give health care, what's to say that the next person is not going to just take it away?

Like, it just seems like everything can be undone so easily.

Yeah,

yes.

Yeah, I mean, I'm saying, yeah,

you guys are smart.

I'm not.

Well, I

really, we are.

We're really smart.

You're very smart.

Well, let's say this.

Let's say they do it.

Let's say they nationalize healthcare, right?

And then all of those industries are gone.

Well, then there goes with it all of its lobbying power.

Now you have like a federal agency in charge of healthcare.

And it's like,

where is

the legislative power to now privatize this?

It doesn't exist, right?

It would be like somebody that's like, oh, well, let's bring bring private health care back and invest all this money in trying to get, you know, the like the Department of Health completely fucking eradicated.

It just wouldn't happen.

You know what I mean?

Sure.

Yeah.

You know, so I don't think, yeah, it would shift back

once you get there, right?

I don't know.

Because didn't they, isn't that what happened with Obamacare?

Like it just got taken apart?

Yeah, but Obamacare wasn't like...

Yeah, it was just like a carve-out system where you maintain the, I mean, it's pretty close to like Republican plans for compulsory health insurance.

Like Romney Care in Massachusetts is probably like the, it was basically modeled on.

Yeah, Obama.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's a mandate for private insurance as opposed to a public option.

Yeah, and then it expands Medicaid to a certain extent.

It creates these like state, like it just,

it dictates that the states have to make these shitty websites that don't work where you can sign up for health insurance.

It's the most Democrat shit in the world.

Yeah.

It's an exciting website-based option to something that doesn't work and no one likes.

But they painted a rainbow flag on a crosswalk, so

they don't hate gay people or something like the other guys.

As long as there's that.

They're just,

I mean, basically the Democratic Party at this point is just...

The point of it is to just protect the S ⁇ P 500 and just make sure that.

which is doing great, by the way.

Which is doing great.

So I think that maybe

as podcasters with an audience of zero that are worth $500 million, we should probably get behind Kamala.

But that's the other thing.

I don't know.

Is the stock market doing well, or is that just like how bad the dollar is doing?

I don't.

Someone is...

Someone knows that I'll never.

Because it's like, let's say you've made, let's say you're up 20% in the stock market, right?

And you're like, great, I'm going to sell what I made and buy eggs.

Well, eggs are also up 20%.

You know what I mean?

Right, right, right.

So it's like, I don't.

And you have to pay capital gains, too.

Right, yeah.

So you're actually losing money on eggs.

But you write off the eggs as a business expense.

I make chickens.

I sell chickens.

I podcast about eggs.

Yeah.

I have an egg podcast.

I sell chicken.

I've been buying eggs.

I've been in the show business.

I still haven't gotten a single chicken, but my business is selling chickens.

The eggs are media.

It's a media purchase.

Yeah, so who are you voting for?

Trump?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I honestly, like, when Biden was still in, I didn't plan to participate.

Now that Kamala is in, I kind of still feel that way just based on sheer like.

It's going to be really funny when she loses and then Biden's approval rating is like 90%.

People are like, he should have stayed in.

I miss him already.

She doesn't have a career after this if she loses, I don't think.

I think she's done in politics.

That's not how it works.

She'll run.

Well, not in maybe, she can't run for president again, but they get rich.

I mean, they fail upwards.

Well, yeah, but she's not.

Every loser doesn't.

She's not going to have a political.

She's not going to be a hobo.

That's not what you're saying.

And then I also don't see she can't speak either.

So it's not like they're going to fucking have her on.

She's not going to be like Hillary Clinton, where they're like, which country should we bomb now?

And then she just sits there getting fatter and fatter.

Laughing.

Yeah.

I miss her kind of at this point.

Hillary Clinton?

Yeah, at least she's still around.

She's

never going away.

No, no.

She's still like talking about her experience and everything.

She really, she's into it.

What did she say?

I mean, she basically is still saying I won.

And when I won the election, when I won the popular vote, but then was screwed out of it.

Like, that's kind of her perspective still.

Yeah, I had to compete.

I was in Boston and she was doing a speaking event next to the venue I was at.

And so I showed up and there was like pro-Palestinian, like, protesters outside of my show.

And I'm like, I guess.

I don't

sure.

But

yeah, it was for her.

Yeah.

I just assumed it was you.

I'm like, you got the wrong guy.

I don't know what to tell you.

It is very funny seeing them, though, because it's like the same crowd that have spent the last 15 years bitching about fucking cultural appropriation, and then they all dress up like Muslims.

And I'm like, I don't.

Why is that okay?

Yeah, it's not like that.

Why is that?

In this one?

It's all right, but when I show up to fucking BLM wearing the wax lips

and the white gloves, everyone's like, this guy,

you got to go, man.

It's Al Jolson.

Yeah.

I'm like, you know how much I had to learn tap dancing for six months before,

and now you're telling me I'm not welcome here just because I'm trying to show solidarity.

But yeah, I don't understand.

I don't understand why the caffia is okay.

Yeah.

I guess they're not making money off of it.

That's not, but that's never been the case.

Isn't that what the appropriation is?

They're not allowed to do yoga.

Right.

Okay.

So you just can't have any influence from any other.

I just don't understand.

Not that I have a problem with it.

Great.

Wear the cafia.

I just don't understand why that.

Explain that carve-out to me.

Yeah.

Why that one is okay.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Probably they're saying it's an homage.

Or it's, you know, in solidarity.

That's the same argument anyone else is making.

It's a covers act.

I'm not taking their side, by the way.

I'm just trying to offer what they might see.

Yeah, you couldn't wear like a Koofi to a BLM thing.

You could not be a white guy showing up.

You couldn't wear a Knicks jersey, though.

Come on.

We know

all the tape.

Well, I guess we'll see what happens in the election.

We will.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

I don't know.

If anyone wants to come on this from the election, you're welcome to, by the way.

We won't say no to anyone, no matter what your opinions are.

No matter how

RFK Jr.

Did you talk to him?

We couldn't even get him.

That's how irrelevant we are.

That's how far we've fallen.

I see.

All right.

And we'll be back next week.

Thank you so much for joining us.

Thanks again to Mike.

Anything else you want to plug?

Just a special.

Watch the special.

I'm in Tacoma.

Why?

I forgot to.

I'm in Tacoma, Washington next

weekend, and we added a Sunday show.

So if you're whatever the club is in Tacoma, Washington, next Sunday.

That's it.

There you go.

Yeah.

I'll see you there.

Phenomenal.

Thanks a lot, guys.

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