The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 71

Ready to take advantage of an incredible deal at Mazda?

September is the final month of eligibility for federal $7,500 electric vehicle lease cash on the new Mazda CX70 and CX90 plug-in hybrid.

All Mazda current inventory is unaffected by new tariffs.

See your local Mazda dealer for details.

$7,500 electric vehicle lease cash offer expires at the end of September.

Don't miss out.

$7,500 lease customer cash good toward 2025 CX70 PHEV and CX90 PHEV when leasing through Mazda Financial Services.

Lease customer cash can be be combined with other public offers, including lease incentive offers.

Lease customer cash cannot be combined with APR or other customer cash offers.

Lease customer cash is not redeemable as cash or cash back option.

Lease customer cash is only available on approved credit.

Not all customers will qualify for credit approval or offer.

Limit one discount per customer per vehicle.

Lease customer cash offer only available in United States regardless of buyer's residency.

Void reprohibited.

Apply within the lease structure as a capital cost reduction.

Lease customer cash is only available on participating Mazda dealer's current inventory, which is subject to availability.

Offer ends 9:30-2025, and you must take delivery prior to expiration of offer.

See participating Mazda dealer for complete details.

Start your journey toward the perfect engagement ring with Yadav, family owned and operated since 1983.

We'll pair you with a dedicated expert for a personalized one-on-one experience.

You'll explore our curated selection of diamonds and gemstones while learning key characteristics to help you make a confident, informed decision.

Choose from our signature styles or opt for a fully custom design crafted around you.

Visit yadavjewelry.com and book your appointment today at our new Union Square showroom and mention podcast for an exclusive discount.

Well, no, hold on, because I'm going to start this show with a major complaint

that I think a lot of people can relate to this.

Is it going to come back on me or no?

Absolutely not.

Okay.

It has nothing to do with it.

Go ahead.

Go off.

God, what a self-centered piece of shit.

Why?

Listen.

That's the format of the show.

Adam has done something terrible.

It has absolutely nothing to do with it.

He probably did something.

No, and that's exactly why he's already a media definitely.

For me, Nick.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

For me, no, I said, right.

Will it come back on me?

It wasn't something I did.

I was going to complain about the debate schedule.

Nick, I am nothing.

Immediately.

Oh, me, me, me.

Okay.

Me, me.

I'm nothing, if not a survivor.

Me, me, me, me, me, me.

It's true.

There's no context for.

Did you do something that you want to confess?

No, it's just like, you know,

we're doing the show, and Nick's like, you know, I have

a gripe, a bone to pick, and I'm like, oh, boy, here it comes.

You know, are we done talking about you yet?

Can we just completely?

Born 1987, St.

John's Hospital.

I was born in San Juan.

Let's go.

Yeah.

All right.

Sorry, Nick.

Eric Grievance.

I'm not even, I'm not mad at you.

I love the the problem, right?

It's the ABC debate.

Okay.

Now, normally when I go to watch a debate or anything, I just go to CNN.

Because CNN usually has it, even if it's somewhere else.

And then if it's not there, then I'll go.

But I said, oh, I know this one's on ABC, so I'll go right to ABC.

Debate starts at 9 o'clock.

At 8.52 p.m.

I use my Fios remote.

I say, put on ABC.

And it changed the channel to ABC's local affiliate instead of ABC World News, whatever the fuck the other ABC channel is.

Yeah.

Okay.

Isn't there one?

I think there's one.

I thought there was one.

Last night I put it on.

And what's happening is Wheel of Fortune with Ryan Seacrest, not even the right host, is

ending.

Right?

It's ending and it says presidential debate, countdown, you know, and it's 8.52 and then it starts and they're like, we're live here at the Constitution Center in Philadelphia where the debate is about to start in less than an hour.

And it says 58 minutes until the debate starts.

At this point, it's 9.02 p.m.

Right.

And it says live on the screen.

And I'm like, is there a delay or something?

You know, I'm like, what the fuck is it's 9 p.m.

debate's not on.

I don't know.

This is ABC.

It says live.

And so, and then there's just an insane amount of commercials leading up to it.

So I go back to God of War.

Right.

I go back to playing my game, and I periodically, I checked in, right?

Okay, it's 9.30.

Maybe they're coming out.

Maybe there was a delay or something.

I check back.

I'd use the remote to switch the inputs.

I go back to cable.

Now it's 9.28 or something.

Oh, live your life with Cymbalta.

More fucking ads, right?

So I go back to, and then I keep coming back, and then I'm like, all right, well, I don't want to miss it.

So at 9.9.50 something, right?

Back to when I put it on and they're still talking.

And then I'm like, is there something, like, why is this taking, you know, why is it at 10 p.m.?

Why did they say?

I was like, was it delayed?

So I Google and I find Reddit, debate, live reaction red.

And there's all these people from 30 minutes ago.

She's destroying him.

She's completely.

I'm like, well, what time was the fucking debate?

Where was it?

And so what I think is there's a different ABC.

There's a different ABC channel.

And ABC,

local ABC has it on an hour later, but it it still says fucking live.

Either that or I press pause on my remote at some point, and my TV was just an hour behind the audience.

You were watching ABC Family.

No, it was ABC.

There's one ABC, Nick.

I'm telling you what happened.

It doesn't make any sense.

And I'm looking at these comments.

I'm like, I already missed this fucking debate.

And then it's like, well, I can watch it.

I can watch it because it's right here now.

It's about to start.

I was so mad I turned it off.

Because it's like, I don't even actually give a fuck about the debate.

I don't care.

It's like I was only watching it to participate in something.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And so it was like I would, in the same way, I would watch Evil Knivil or

a Monster Jam or something.

Literally.

I'm not going to sit there and DVR a guy jumping a motorcycle.

You know what I mean?

It has to be

with America watching Magic Secrets Revealed.

Right.

Yeah, by the masked magician.

It ruined my night.

Yeah.

And did you catch up anywhere?

I did not.

I haven't looked at fucking anything because I was so mad.

Disrupted great.

So it's either Verizon's fault or ABC's fault.

Yeah.

Well, you could have caught the fourth quarter.

Or Ryan Seacrest.

What's that?

You could have caught the fourth quarter, you know?

No, it was already fucking...

When I was like, is this starting now?

It was already 9.50.

It was already over.

9.52.

You got 40 minutes left.

Yeah, another hour, maybe.

It was a two-hour debate.

90 minutes.

90 minutes.

Okay, well, I didn't even see that.

Yeah.

You didn't get to see the outfits, the red carpet.

None of that.

It doesn't make sense, whatever happened.

I don't, for whatever, I think ABC, the local one, is like, oh, we'll carry it an hour later.

You need.

I think it was that ABC had the moderators.

That's why it was the ABC debate, but it was on every channel.

Yeah, but ABC itself, the channel, carried it an hour later.

I don't think that's right.

That's bizarre.

That is what happened.

I don't I'm not fucking crazy.

I'm open-minded.

We can check that, but it doesn't sound right.

If it's their biggest night, ABC,

it's ABC's debate.

They're like, why don't we show it an hour later?

I have no idea.

And then it also said live.

It said live.

Because I was like,

why is it starting at an hour?

And it says, well, it says live.

Because normally when they do shit like that, it says, you know, recorded earlier.

Yeah.

At least you weren't one of those losers who watched it at a bar, like me.

Oh, you went to a bar to watch Sonic?

Watch a bar flies?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I was watching it at home.

My kid took the remote, and I said, I'm going to get out of here.

You hit him?

No, not yet.

Maybe.

Didn't he put something else on?

Yeah.

He put on Sonic.

There's a new movie.

Is that the second?

Jim Carrey?

I'm not sure which Sonic it is, but he likes Sonic.

I caught the end of, I think, the second one.

Okay.

With Knuckles in it.

Okay.

Dog shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, it didn't seem very good.

It was really bad.

There was something in it, too.

Oh, there was something in it where he goes, uh, I guess he's raised by, like, an owl or something.

No, he's got a black mom and a white dad.

No, I'm serious.

The hedgehog does?

Yeah, Sonic's mom is a black person.

Yeah.

No, it is.

Literally.

Yeah, the dad's.

It's a gay family.

The dad's that guy that plays Cyclops in the X-Men movies.

He's black?

No.

Oh.

No, he's a Sonic.

James Marsden.

James Marston.

Yeah, something happened where I think Mars' black.

Mom's storm.

He's being raised by an owl, and he's like, she's like,

she raised me.

She's just like Obi-Wan Kenobi with feathers and a beak.

And I'm like, Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't raise anybody.

That's true.

This is bad writing.

I guess he sort of took care of when they purchased the slave boy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, Darth Vader.

Oh, right.

And look how that turned out.

I guess he, yeah.

And that's because, you know, him and Qui-Gon were.

Gay.

Well, yeah, they had a civil

civil.

That was kind of the whole point of Star Wars, the prequels, was like, you know, they can do their thing, but maybe

don't let them adopt.

I think

that was my takeaway.

And that's why they called it the Phantom Menace.

Eight-year-old menace.

Yeah, it's like this kind of hidden thing lurking behind all this progressive stuff.

That should be a Nick's dad.

Think of the movie, son.

Yeah, I don't think we should let them adopt.

I don't think they should be allowed to adopt.

Yeah, and then what was it called?

The whole race element of the first one

that NASCAR competes in?

What was it called?

Bug chasing?

Yeah, bug chasing.

Yeah, bug chasing.

Anakin was like, yeah, I'm a bug chaser.

I'm one of the fastest bug chasers.

Yeah.

Well, I think I'm on this side of the galaxy.

I think in the original script, Anakin's like 12 years old, which makes more sense because he's like a bad kid.

Yeah.

You know, but then...

Oh, he's a slave.

I don't.

Yeah, but he's a slave.

He's like the bad kids in slavery.

Well, that's why they were slave.

They're like, oh, he's always getting in trouble.

Oh, that's a bad kid.

We're going to send you

to the plantation, son.

Well, they're already at the plantation, Adam.

Well, they're all there.

For being naughty, though.

Yeah, I'm not saying that they were bad kids that became slavery.

I'm saying that slavery is wrong, okay?

That's the first thing.

I've thought to give it.

I don't even need to say it because it's obviously.

But these days you do.

These days you do.

I guess you're right.

Yeah, after that debate.

Yeah.

You know.

You missed some crazy crap.

Was it even.

It was pretty boring.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But the goat lost his fastball, let's just say.

Yeah.

He didn't have any really.

Was he actually good at debates?

Yeah, when he said you'd be in jail.

That was funny.

He was good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think he's good.

He never gives up, though.

He never stops fighting.

That's what I like about him.

Yeah.

It is.

He mentioned getting shot, though, right?

Once?

Probably.

Did they ask a question about it?

I don't know.

Did that just never happen?

It's weird, right?

It's weird.

Hawk Tua has been around for like three months.

Yeah.

And that was two days.

Yeah.

Of a guy almost getting killed that's running for president.

Yeah.

How that happened?

And then we don't know anything about the guy right now.

We don't

Yeah.

Who is a nerd?

We were saying that he's a nerd.

It was like deGrossi.

Yeah.

He was getting bullied too much, then he tried to kill hisself.

Was he even getting bullied?

I remember they said that initially.

They're like, oh, he's bullied.

And then they talked to kids at his school.

They're like, no, not really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was just good at math.

Yeah.

He was kind of not even silent.

They were like, oh, he had friends, but, you know, he was just kind of like a.

I think the problem is with all the mass shootings and stuff, and people are dumb, that we got to a point with the mass shootings that we're like, all right, what type of guy is this?

Because there's maybe 20 types of guys, you know, from online that we understand.

And then, you know, Adam Lanza was the last one, the Sandy Hook kid, right?

Where they're like, what's his deal?

And they're like, oh, he likes my little pony.

Okay, great.

He's that type of guy.

You know, there's a documentary about those guys.

We know what they're up to online.

And then Steven Paddock happened, and people are like, don't you think it's a little strange that this guy, we know nothing about him?

It's like, he's a Chinese girlfriend guy.

Well, we know, well, not even.

We know everything about him.

Jimmy Buffett.

We know plenty about the guy.

It's just that it can't be distilled down into like, oh, he was a MAGA, you know, or this or that.

It's like he's just a rich guy that likes gambling and has a Filipino girlfriend.

You know.

Did they give us an answer on that one?

I'm making the point that it doesn't need to be an answer.

But they try to give us something.

There's some sort of like, oh, that's what it was.

They didn't even try.

There was no Warren commission, you know?

Mm-hmm.

It's like clearly like not true, but like he just killed the most people ever.

And then it.

Who the hell was Warren, you know?

I think Earl Warren from Supreme Court.

Not Warren from the Farside Comics.

No.

Who's that?

It's like a yeah, half the characters in Farside comics are named Warren.

Are they?

Yeah.

Okay.

So

that's a name he uses a lot.

Okay.

Yeah.

Wasn't the Farside like uh like calendars typically?

Um Not typically.

They made calendars like most popular comics.

That's like saying, wasn't Dilbert mostly calendars?

No.

I've never seen a Dilbert calendar.

Okay.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Don't respond like that.

You want to ridiculous statement.

You're in one of those moods today, I see.

No, no, no.

Mike obviously is being deferential, but he looked at me with a wink.

He was like, I've only seen Farside comics.

Well, where did it exist, though?

In the newspaper?

I feel like it wasn't like he he had books.

And then, yeah, it was also

in newspapers.

In calendars.

In calendars as well.

For like people at work.

Yeah.

They'd be like, this one's funny today.

Check it out.

Yeah.

There's probably a guy that got a Dilbert calendar.

He started his new office job, and he's like, this is going to suck, but at least I got Dilbert.

It's 1995.

There's not really.

I mean, the internet exists, but it's like you're going to a fourth grader's website to look at a picture of a frog.

It's like somebody's book report.

There's nothing really fun to do on the internet.

So all he's like, I got this Dilbert calendar at least.

Then he's got one night he gets drunk and he's like, I'm just going to fucking read all of them, dude.

And he reads all of them, and he just has a night where he's just dying, laughing.

He's like, fucking, I can't believe Dilbert fucking.

It's just like me.

Dilbert lost a fucking mouse pad.

And he's fucking, he's dying.

Then he wakes up in the morning and he's like, oh, and they're all just, they're all torn off the thing.

He's like, oh, no.

You know, and he's like, okay, well, he goes and buys another one.

And then he's at the work the next day and he tears off the thing.

He's like, I've already seen this.

I've read this one.

I've already.

I've fucking seen this one.

And so he goes and buys a gun and comes back to the office the next day.

Remember those?

Remember people who used to shoot up the office back when people had jobs?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why don't they do those anymore?

Because there was a very effective anti-gun ad where there was a guy with a musket who went into his office and they were like, he's got a gun.

And it was like taking him like 15 minutes to load the musket.

And then they just tackle him and nobody dies.

And they were like, this is what the founding fathers thought guns were.

That's really smart.

Yeah.

And so people were like, okay, message received.

Yeah.

We will no longer shoot up offices.

Assault rifles are here to stay.

I shot guns for the first time recently.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Handgun is really not accurate.

Rifle's easy.

Yeah.

Rifle's pretty easy.

I can get the guy in the eye with a rifle.

I was shooting a bin Laden target.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's already dead.

I don't know why they're still selling those.

Yeah, you can do it now.

Yeah.

Well, but it's nice to go back to that.

It should be like Malone.

When times were simpler.

When you knew who to be mad at.

Yeah.

There's one guy.

I'm going to bring my own.

What's the little Swedish girl, the activist?

The grand thief.

Just

bring that to the gun rage and be like, What?

I'm not very good at shooting, and she has a big face.

I'm learning how to shoot, and I picked the person with the biggest face I could find.

It's like the size of that door.

It's just perfect.

It's two feet away.

I just need

all the faces.

You're stabbing it with a knife.

Yeah, you're hitting it with a gun.

Jacking off on it.

First time shooting guns.

Do you guys do this every Saturday?

This is cool.

What if cops just had rifles?

They wouldn't accidentally kill people.

They do have rifles.

They keep them in the trunk.

I just feel like they should just have a rifle because it's more accurate than a handgun.

No?

I don't think that they're accidentally hitting people.

I'm pretty sure they're shooting

on purpose

because they had like a letter opener or something or a threatening pin.

I didn't like the look of this guy's SpongeBob socks.

It's easier to take a handgun out of your out of your pocket.

Yeah, they have a holster.

Yeah.

They could have it like a around their chest, you know?

Yeah, with ammo.

Yeah.

And grenades.

Yeah,

give them a whole judge red setup.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I just, I found that.

I was like, cops should just have a self-destruct button.

That's fun.

Yeah, they should have a suicide vest instead of a gun.

If they get scared?

Yeah, they could be like a bumblebee, bumblebee, basically.

They get one sting.

That's great.

But they really got to make sure they use it.

Oh, guys, I want to talk about Lucy.

Guys,

100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free.

Lucy isn't like every other nicotine pouch company that's owned by Big Tobacco.

They're the mom and pop shop of pouches.

Have you used this?

Lucy?

They make pouches that you put in your gum and then they get you real geeked up on nicotine.

What's your favorite loosey flavor, Nick?

Have you tried them?

Apple martini.

Nick's a big apple martini fan.

I'm a big, like, there's a coffee one that I like.

What strength do you use, Nick?

Strongest.

20%, Nick.

20%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

I go John Rambo, the strongest one.

They also, so

they sent us a nice care package and a very nice crew neck in it.

Nice.

Fall Fall is starting.

I just saw it again today.

I'm redoing.

I've decided to give up on the idea of folding sweatshirts.

I think that's idiotic.

Okay.

They need to be on a hanger.

I agree, yeah.

They take up too much room in the dresser.

I've been doing that, and I'm like, this is fucking...

Yeah.

Live and learn, you know?

You just get better as you get older.

When do you usually throw in your Lucy, Nick?

2 a.m.

I wake up.

I set an alarm.

I go to bed at 7 p.m.

And then I wake up at 2,

fill my mouth with Lucy's.

And then I go back to sleep for another six hours.

And so...

I'd love if they made one that tasted like my wife so I could taste it.

What does she taste like?

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, come on.

Yeah, I'm just kidding there.

I like to say.

Cheese.

Jay Slump.

It's a hidden cheese recipe from

the Byzantine Empire that Mike discovered.

I prefer Lucy over gas station brands because of the quality and flavor.

I don't know about you guys.

And a nicotine routine is a big part of my day.

And I think it should be part of yours.

And what you could do, guys, is level up on your nicotine routine with Lucy.

Go to lucy.co/slash T A F S and use promo code T A F S to get 20% off your first order.

Lucy offers free shipping and has a 30-day refund policy.

If you change your mind, that's lucy.co

and use code TAFS to to get 20% off and always free shipping.

And guys, here comes the fine print.

Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age-verified.

Warning, this product contains nicotine.

Thank you for watching.

Don't forget that they got, it's not just the thing.

They got the breakers.

Yeah.

They got gum.

But I think unique to Lucy, they have those breakers.

Breakers.

Where you can bite into the pouch.

And then it's like more flavor.

You know, when you chew gum and then after a while, it's like, ah, this is chewing this gum for two days.

Yeah.

You know, it has no flavor anymore.

Well, they have a, you know, your nicotine pouch runs out.

Crack it open with your teeth.

Perfect.

Yeah, right.

Now,.co, is that weird when a website is.co?

Not when it's Lucy.

Sure.

Yeah.

But otherwise, yes.

I feel like I'm being scammed a little bit.

Yeah.

They don't do the country extensions anymore.

Like.co.uk.

Oh, okay.

Remember that?

No.

My friend

went on.

I wasn't allowed to visit foreign websites.

British websites.

My friend in high school went on a porn website and his parents owed money to Vanuatu, which I guess is an island when we were kids that ran a lot of porn websites.

And

he got in big trouble.

Speaking of Vanuatu, I will be at the Irvine Improv

September 19th through the 21st.

It's the last big show.

I don't know if I can.

So please come out.

If you're in Orange County or Los Angeles, it's a big venue.

We got to.

It was fun.

We had a good time there, I think.

We did.

You were sick, I thought.

No?

I was sick a lot on tour.

Yeah.

That first time out, like, was it end of 2022?

I was sick probably every weekend.

Yeah.

But he let me take the rental car.

He said, take the rental car and do whatever you want.

I went to CVS.

Pretty cool.

I think I went to Chipotle.

Pretty cool.

He's a great guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a great guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very generous.

Very generous guy.

We don't say it enough.

We We don't say it enough.

We don't say it enough.

About chimpanzee.

Okay.

All the burritos, they're like banana burritos.

You know, they got

banana tacos.

It's all stuff for chimpanzees.

Right.

And you're like, do you have like carniasada?

And they come out and they rip your penis.

They rip your penis and hands off.

Yeah.

They tear your face off.

Isn't that so funny that they do that?

That's awesome.

They're mean.

They're mean guys.

Well, they also know that's like if like if you had no

social, like, you know, it's like

if you were in a fight with somebody and

you had never seen like a John Wayne movie, yeah, yeah, you know, where he's like,

on the lady's honor, you know, I'll keep her husband's face.

Count to 10.

Yeah, right, exactly.

Yeah, that kind of bullshit.

Yeah.

You'd be like, wow, I guess I'll try to rip this guy's pants off.

I'll dig this guy's eyes out of his head and then rip his cock off.

I'll use my mouth to do it.

I guess I'll bite his teeth off.

I guess I'll bite his piece.

I'll spit it at his hands.

They're savages.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They do war.

You know that?

Chimpanzees in the wild.

They're the only other species that does war.

It's so funny.

This is like one of, in the 15 years that comedy podcasts have been a thing now, probably longer than that,

we've realized there's only 10 conversations that you can have.

Right.

Animals.

Well,

the biggest one is, yeah, chimpanzees.

Yeah.

That's where it all started.

Right.

Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan's show, what it is now, is built on a very heavy foundation of, like,

which fighters do you think could take on a chimp?

Have you ever seen him?

What a chimp can do?

Fucking crazy.

He did that for a decade.

And then he had.

That's like stuff they write children's books about.

And then he had a scientist on.

He's like, what the hell is a graduated cylinder?

And then 10 million people watched it.

And then the next guest was Barack Obama.

Yeah.

You know?

And that's, it was written.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Has he, but he hasn't done Rogan.

He's done Mark Maron's podcast.

They're the same.

Yeah.

The same show.

Yeah.

I heard a rumor he's going on Hassan.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, because Trump went on

that other guy.

The Avonstream.

No, the other streamer.

Tim Poole.

I don't fucking know.

They're all 11 now.

Yeah, yeah.

The one, yeah, in Miami.

He gave him a watch or something.

They all have a zillion dollars.

He went on Patrick Bett David?

I love him so much.

Yeah, he's pretty cool.

I love him so much.

There's a video.

I don't like when he does shill for Israel a little bit.

Nothing he says makes sense.

No.

There's a video of him promoting one of his scam conferences, and he goes, four years ago, pandemic.

Three years ago, technology.

Two, AI.

This year,

like, it makes no sense what he's talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What did he say for this year?

I forget.

I have to find the video.

It's really funny.

Great, awesome.

I'll find.

And he's always talking about kids changing the genitals.

How did he?

He became famous famous because he did Kobe's last interview before he died?

On the helicopter.

On the hell he crashed the helicopter.

He was spinning around.

Four years ago, pandemic, lockdown, AI,

technology.

Yeah.

Two years technology.

Yeah.

It makes no.

Remember when Ari had like

there was like contracts out for his assassination?

He was the only one that, because I expected when Kobe were to die, everyone would be like, actually, he low-key problematic.

But Shafir was the only one who actually the only one who,

like, everyone was respectful to the boys for having our sad day.

And then he just had to disappear and go get, like, a yoga certificate or something.

Yeah.

He went to the menu.

He did Bikram yoga for five months in a fucking jungle.

I want you to kill Ari Shafir.

Ari Shafir, very disrespectful to Kobe.

Disrespectful to Kobe Bryant.

Yeah.

Yeah, but he's a billionaire, that guy.

I really want to.

I want to make sure that you're a kid.

But

he's just like a South Florida scammer guy, right?

Right.

He has like an insurance pyramid scammer.

He's an insurance pyramid shit ton of money.

And now he's people accidentally love him as an interviewer.

I do kind of love what he's doing though because it's like it's like the opposite of what we're doing right now.

Like they all wear suits, they get dressed up and they do their show and it's very like he makes people feel smart from the show.

He makes people

right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People feel angry from watching movies.

But you listen to that show and you're like, oh, we're going to make some money together.

Yeah.

This guy has some claims for me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you know this guy, Patrick David?

I've seen the name, and I think I've seen a clip or two, but I'm not really familiar.

Yeah, he's, I guess,

I like what he's selling.

I read like three

subreddits, and then

like my internet consumption is literally just the news.

I don't look at anything else anymore.

So, yeah, I'm pretty nice to see you.

Where do you get your news from, though?

Whatever it shows me on Apple News.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you'll read like the New York Times.

I just read the headlines, yeah.

I mean, because it's, you know, people are like, oh, well, you can't really trust the media.

And it's like, well, yeah, if you agree with their opinion, you can certainly look at what's happening.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What they're selling.

Yeah.

I also don't care anymore.

You know, go ahead, lie to me.

Yeah.

I don't give a shit.

You read the Post?

New York Post?

Yeah.

Yeah, when I'm in the store in the morning, I get my coffee.

I'll see it there.

Yeah.

Take a look, see what

the fun headline is.

See what the black crime crime is up to yeah she got they see what puns they have about black crime the one for today was like kamala boozled

really yeah

the pun camp just hop all night

yeah

kamala boozled

yeah because he got because i guess trump got ambushed at the debate because they were fact-checking him but they weren't fact-checking kamala yeah

they had some they've had some great ones though Yeah.

Yeah.

Like

when the Beatles were found, it was found that they jacked off together.

The headline was Beat the Meatles.

Beat the Meatles.

That's pretty good.

That's good.

Yeah.

That's not bad.

Yeah.

And then they got a little lazy when Jared was caught.

It was just like, enjoy that foot-long in jail, which I know everybody was doing that.

But my dad sent it to me being like, hey, I just thought you would like to see this.

Isn't it so funny what comedy actually is?

Yeah, actually.

And you're mine, when you're on this journey through it in life, you'd like the starting place is like,

you know, well, we're not going to return there.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, but that's what people want.

But so many people haven't discovered the starting place.

Right.

Most people have.

Well, it's nice when it's a dad because they don't have that reference point.

Yeah.

My dad called me really excited one day and he was like, his name is Wiener.

And he showed his penis.

He was like, so excited.

He was like, this is awesome.

He's like, comedy is dead.

His name is Wiener.

But it it was like very sweet.

He was trying to connect with me.

I was doing intravenous drugs when he called.

I said, Dad,

I should call you more.

What kind of intravenous drugs?

Come.

Okay.

See, you're nice.

Do people do that anymore in Jackson semen into their bloodstream?

I don't know.

There's another like sales, like Patrick Bet David kind of guy.

His name is Brad Lee.

And I was watching him on Instagram.

Brad what?

Brad Lee, like his Brad?

Lee is his last name.

L-E-A.

Bradley What?

Or Brad Leah.

What's his last name?

Oh, is he the buff guy that sells cars?

It's Bradley Lee?

Brad Lee.

Or Brad Leah.

It's Brad Lee or Bradley.

Bradley what, though?

His first name is Brad, B-R-A-D.

And then there's a space between his first and his last name.

And then his last name is Leah, L-E-A.

Bradley Leah.

Bradley Leah.

Yeah.

And he was arguing with this guy who drinks his own piss.

So he was like, see, I would just think that if your body's getting rid of something, it doesn't want it to be in there.

But you drink it for health reasons.

He's not a drink on the show.

He's introduced as a guy that drinks his own piss.

Yeah, yeah.

He's like, you didn't tag me.

My next guest needs no introduction.

Yeah, yeah.

I just want to play my guest guy.

Because he's such a disgusting piece of shit that I won't entertain one.

He probably smells like pee-pee right now, folks.

Mr.

Peepee.

And then so what happens with that information?

there's like a like a uh a recently pubescent indian boy that starts drinking his own urine because he's like oh because then you'll get pussy you know

is that what that the market for that is yeah maybe i imagine all that manosphere stuff it's got to be all like younger you know children like young teenagers yeah just like 11-year-olds market yeah yeah yeah the getting pussy market yeah yeah When I was in high school,

we were like 15, my friend was like, I'm sick of not getting pussy.

And I was like, yeah, we all all are right and he's like i downloaded lectures from kaza of this guy ross jeffries uh-huh and he tells you how to get pussy i was like it's never gonna work yeah and then he fucked at school three days later okay and i was shocked yeah he was like yeah you you have to like say things like uh like uh subliminal messaging you have to say like i think that women are blow me

You have to like say like, I was like, that's never going to work.

And then he had sex at school with a teacher.

With a white trash girl that he dated for two years and was saved in his cell phone as bitch.

Yeah.

He saved her as bitch.

Really?

Yeah.

That's good.

I hope he learned his lesson.

I hope that came back to him.

That was early Manosphere, though.

You had to get a book or download a lecture off of

Khazar or Napster.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it did work.

Yeah.

I remember sitting on the bus and I would like, I'd be waiting to ride the bus home and this, when I was in seventh grade, this eighth grade couple would just, they would meet up and they would make out.

And I would just watch them make out through the bus window.

And I'd be like, how does he do?

And the kid was like, he had a shaved head.

He had a shaved head.

He would sag.

He had cancer.

He was like, I was dying.

And all I want is

the tender touch.

You got a fat woman.

In sixth grade, I heard two kids had sex, and I went home and cried.

Because I was like, we're just kids.

Yeah, yeah.

He was like, we're doing sexy.

We're just kidding.

You don't have pukes.

No, I did the same thing.

I did.

We were kids.

Now sex is happening.

I was in 10th grade, and my friend Shane was telling me about how he had sex with his girlfriend.

And I said, you don't do that until until you're married.

What the fuck's wrong with you?

He was like, yeah.

And he was like, he had like a South Jersey accent.

He was like, yeah, me and Lauren, you know, my mom found the condom in my cigarettes.

I'm like, Shane, what the hell, man?

Also, there's that thing in like 9th, 10th grade where you're 15 and then there's a girl that's hot that's 15.

Yeah.

And she goes and smokes cigarettes and hooks up with like 20 year olds.

20 year olds, yeah.

And you think, you're like, I can't wait to be an adult one day so I can have sex with a child.

Like Rose.

You're like, it's not fair.

She's my age.

Someday I'll be 20.

Someday I'll be 20.

I'll be giving a child cigarettes for a hand job or a blow job.

Yeah.

There was a girl I knew that she was three years older than me and she was in, I met her at like this theater camp that I did and she was

a man.

She was a man.

She was the male instructor at the theater camp.

She was

in the globe.

I called them

boys would play women.

Yeah.

So

I allowed women doing theater.

Right, right, right.

No, it was England, and it was a Shakespeare bro.

Yeah, we were doing a Midsummer Night Stream, and it turned into a night stream.

And you fucked my ass.

Yeah, they would call him the merchant of penis.

He would go around

the camp extracting a pound of flesh from all the uncircumcised boys.

And my parents picked me up at the airport and said, how was theater camp?

And I said, yeah, it was good.

What happened to this girl?

It was just like we would talk and I asked her to go to the movies and I

thought we were, I thought she was going to be my girlfriend.

But she was in 11th grade and I was in 8th grade.

And then you went to see like Bluey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you try this?

Those are tickets.

Chicken Run was the movie that I wanted to take her to go see.

Oh, okay.

Well, that's her tall girl radio.

Let's watch that probably once a month.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, you know,

you got to go for it.

You know.

Did you make a move on that 11th grader?

No.

I ate her out like years later.

Yeah, we reconnected.

Yeah.

In 2022.

Yeah.

Three weeks ago.

She got out of jail.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I ate her a pussy.

Yeah.

I told my wife I was podcasting.

I have to go fuck this towny.

I have to go down the street.

I went on Jersey Transit to go eat a woman out.

I went to Penn Station.

I got a tall boy.

You had 90 minutes on the train to contemplate cheating?

What have I become?

All right, I guess I'm here.

The momentum of like the initial spark of horniness had faded, but you had to convince yourself you're not a bitch.

Well, I'm not a homosexual.

It's gay to not get pussy.

It's gay to not get pussy.

I'm doing this for my.

I would have thought this was awesome.

I don't know if this is a good idea.

What are we 20 minutes into this train, right?

I was in theater in seventh grade and I did a play, and then at the cast party,

it was a play.

It was

the vagina monologue.

I forget what the play is.

But my dad picked me up at the cast party.

And then, like, you know, the theater kids are very touchy-feely.

Yeah.

So all the girls were like giving me a hug goodbye.

And I was like, oh, my God.

That's fun, huh?

And then my dad saw it.

He's like, what are you?

He's like, why are you hugging all those girls?

He's like,

are you gay?

Interesting.

And I was like, but I'm touching girls.

Yeah.

He's like, you're acting like a gay guy.

And I was like, you should be fucking them.

So confusing.

You should be fucking them.

I didn't understand at all.

I was like, how is that gay?

They have training, bra.

Get out of my car.

You make me sick.

What are they called training, bras?

Like, if they're breast-learning something.

They're getting ready.

Yeah.

It's words on the inside.

Yeah, right.

Be bigger.

It's proven to yeah

oh man, yeah,

did you all right

wait Mike you had something I can do I was wondering when when Nick started uh you know like a legend talking to girls, yeah, yeah, he just was like

talking to girls going on dates yeah I didn't I mean, you know, I'm like kind of autistic, yeah, so

I was like, oh, I'm just never gonna get pussy.

And then at 15, I was like, maybe you can try just asking

worked.

Sure.

Can I fuck you?

But then I always felt weird because I didn't have like a girlfriend until I was like 18.

Okay.

You know, so I was like, oh, there's something wrong with me.

Yeah.

But you can just ask.

It's so funny that my first thought was like, I never thought to just ask.

He's brilliant.

Yeah.

I had to like, I was like, come on, guys.

There was a guy.

There was a guy, I don't want to say his name, but there was a guy that did comedy in D.C.

who was very much autistic.

But like in the new style, not like, you know, back,

nobody was autistic back then.

They were just kind of weird.

But he was, and he would like really do it just to every woman.

Yeah.

And it would work all the time.

Wow.

Yeah.

And he was like,

I mean, I don't know.

Everybody else is so scared of him.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You didn't know him.

It was before you.

He was before me.

Yeah, yeah.

Wise acres years.

Yes, yeah.

So he wasn't really around later.

He may have been.

I think he moved.

Well, I don't want to, because then people are going to figure it out.

Yeah.

I don't be rude, but yeah.

Yeah, it's true.

Women will just fuck anyone.

I guess

it's kind of crazy, especially if you're old.

What's wrong with them?

I don't know.

They're crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Imagine thinking about that.

What's that?

Imagine the father.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know what's happening.

Well, I should talk to you about winning season before we go back to guy talk, guys.

And it's back.

And it's your time to shine.

With my bookie, their weekly risk-free boosts and classic super and survivor contests, cashing in has never been easier.

Whether you're a season pro or a first-time better, there's something for everyone to win big this season.

And football's back, too.

Football is back.

Antonio Brown is back on the Raiders.

Antonio Brown's on the Raiders.

Jake Dalome is on the Panthers.

Guys, just click my link or visit mybookie.com to sign up for free.

What's the code?

It's like Adam100.

Adam100.

Pretty cool, actually.

I like it.

We should start going by that.

Yeah.

Go on.

My jumper.

Adam 3000.

You should change the name of this show to the My Jumper podcast.

To the My Jumper Podcast.

Atom 100.

Yeah, actually, lots of jumpers.

Actually, I do way more jumpers.

Yeah.

Sign up for free and you're ready to start earning it.

So that time of year, winning season is back.

Football is back.

And my bookie is here to make sure you're ready to cash in on the action, guys.

Risk-free boosts.

uh

where um

where does it say the deal that they got a deposit match up to a thousand dollars a hundred percent deposit match up to a thousand dollars a hundred percent deposit match go to mybookie.com atom100 click my link visit my bookie go win whether you're first-time better or a seasoned pro this is probably the best year to bet on in football ever i think it is

there's just better spreads there's better yeah better parlays.

Tasty spreads.

Tasty spreads.

Tasty spreads.

From a statistics standpoint, things have never looked better in professional football.

Okay.

Yeah.

I bet on a game a few years ago, but then and I won, but you had to like convert it to Bitcoin or something to get paid.

You have to do that now?

No, not here.

No.

It's legal in New York now.

Yeah, okay.

Cool.

It used to be the Wild West.

I think are flavored vapes now legal in New York?

No, I think that they did a big like...

stink.

They did a thing in Queens, like a big sting.

You know what I would do?

Here's my invention.

I'm going to start making vapes that taste like feces.

Okay.

And if you're trying to quit.

Yeah.

So every time you vape, you're like, oh, God.

Yeah.

I'm inhaling shit.

It's a good idea.

Have you ever tasted feces, though?

No.

No.

No, but I vape.

Yeah.

I feel like it doesn't taste what you think it's going to taste like.

Interesting.

So you're pitching poo right now?

No.

Did you you learn this on Bradley Lee's podcast?

I did.

It was the bonus content.

All right.

Thank you, Fishman.

Next we are stay tuned.

We got a guy who eats shit.

Guys, join our Patreon for the guy for Tom Flood.

Three years technology, two years,

AI.

Pooh Pooh.

Now, what if you said you were going to eat your doodle?

He's awesome, that guy.

He's really cool.

He's so confident.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which that's sales, I guess.

Yeah, he's amazing.

But there's something cool about that show where it's like they sit down and they like, they go, all right, right, here's all the stuff we're gonna get into.

Like, and he says everything that's going on in the news.

So you go, okay, I'm gonna be informed now, and I'm gonna like use this to start a business or buy some stuff.

I'm gonna get my own suit.

You feel like, yeah, you get your own suit with just the vest.

Like, you feel like you're gonna get rich listening to that show.

I'm gonna get a boat.

Yeah.

This guy's awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna move to Florida.

And it's cool because there's Patrick Beth David, and then there's Adam, who's like the insane Zionist.

And then there's Vinny, who's like the WAP.

The screaming WA.

What does he say?

He's a Syrian?

Syrian?

I think he's Iranian.

He's Iranian, but he's a special type.

He's like, I'm actually Assyrian.

Okay.

Which is like not, which is maybe Christian Iranian or something.

But

yeah, he's like, gets offended if you think he's Muslim.

He really doesn't want people to think he's Muslim at all.

Okay.

Yeah.

And he's always talking about like

kids changing their genitals.

Also, just the tone of voice he has is awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah, kids cut the penis off.

I like the way he talks.

I'll be right back after I go to this message from the bathroom, from me to the bathroom.

Where are you going?

I got to go to the bathroom.

Oh, guys,

I'll be in London the 21st.

I pissed before the show, but then I drank too much water.

It happens, brother.

I got to piss again.

It happens, dude.

All right.

So.

It was nice when we were talking about, you know, back in the day getting pussy.

It was nice talking about back in the day getting pussy.

Do you remember that?

I feel bad for Kenya.

And the doors closed and we can talk about pussy.

God, thank God.

Yeah.

Now we can be ourselves.

It's so simple what we were pitched about getting pussy.

It was just, it was just American pie.

It was like, by the end of this year, we're all getting laid.

It was also weird, too, because it's like none of those movies had anything about women enjoying sex.

It was all like

nerds.

It was all about nerds trying to get take pussy from women.

To trick women.

Right.

Right, and so you don't realize until you're like in your mid-20s that they sometimes enjoy having sex.

Do you ever see Revenge of the Nerds?

Yeah, sure.

Remember that scene where they're in the...

Yeah, but I watched it when I was like 10 years old, and I didn't know that.

The scene is like he has the mask on.

Yeah, when I was a kid, I was like...

He doesn't register.

Score one for the nerds there.

But yeah, she thinks

someone else having sex.

Yeah.

And then he takes it off and she's like, I guess nerds have giant penises.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's no consequence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, when I worked at Got Junk, there was this Italian guy that worked there, and he is telling us a story about his twin brother.

And he was one of these guys that like threaded his eyebrows, you know.

He's like, Yeah, I went down and showed me my brother, and then I fucked this girl, and then my brother went in and fucked her.

That's kind of nice.

And we were like, Yeah, I think you raped somebody.

He was like, Yeah, that's what the girl said, but I don't know.

What are you talking about?

Jeez, Louise.

Yeah, I'm glad we don't do that anymore.

Oh, it happens.

No, but I don't find that by the end of the day.

That's not cool with me.

I'm not.

I'm still getting late.

I ain't really with that.

Yeah, yeah.

But it was just simpler.

I think kids today, I'm not saying it's good.

That's not, no, that's

the R isn't good.

But like, kids today are like, I think it's like you will be accused of being

accused of being a monster.

Yeah.

If you even say hello.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like, they're all like that.

Parents, it's time for the autistic guys to be able to do it.

So it's time to bring back their.

When you're autistic, you just clean up.

Just making my son watch American Pie and being like, this is cool.

Yeah.

Stiffler's mom is

a whole word.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't you think this is cool?

You watch Saving Silverman, you're like, look, she's a bitch.

She's a bitch.

Yeah.

That movie is so good.

That movie's cool.

It falls apart at the end a little bit.

Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, it's a good movie.

Amanda Pete.

Saving Silver Hot in it.

Saving Silverman, I re-watched it recently.

And then it's more of a nostalgia watch.

Is it?

Yeah, then I like Neil Diamond.

That element of the movie was weird.

It wasn't good, though.

It's not as funny.

I redid Corky Romano recently.

How was that?

It's so cool.

It's funny how the guy can't read.

It's so cool what movies used to be.

Yeah.

The scene where he does cocaine and he's just the dog is ripping the bag of cocaine away and it sprays all over his face.

Yeah.

And he's just walking through the FBI office and they make him talk, give a talk to kids.

Perfect.

It's just so funny.

Yeah.

Because movies today, they're just doing too much.

His two brothers, one can't read, the other one's just gay.

He just doesn't realize it.

Yeah.

What do you mean they're doing?

Do you mean comedies?

Just movies in general.

It feels like you have to do a lot of stuff.

Who was it that was saying like

six months ago, they're like, yeah, you can't really make comedies anymore.

Vince Vaughan was saying that, I think, on hot ones, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Because he said you have to make a movie about, you know, battleship or whatever.

Oh, like a remote.

There has to be like an IP.

There has to be something big that people will go to the theater to sit.

Nobody's going to the.

Nobody would go to a movie theater now to watch the other guys.

You have to make like the condom movie.

You would just watch it at home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have to

license some IP.

You have to get a toy.

Yeah.

And say, I'm going to make the movie of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like, there's a bunch of schizophrenic retards doing podcasts.

Well, so the reason I watched Corky Romano is that

Katan claims that Paul Thomas Anderson wrote Corky Romano, which is just a lie, right?

He didn't, no?

He could have.

Why not?

It would be awesome if he did.

Yeah.

But yeah, it's...

I was like, oh, I forgot how much I loved that movie.

Chris Katan's whole career, first of all, apparently everyone in that generation of SNL hated him because he was like an evil cokehead.

But his whole career was just like

the joke is that I'm a fag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm a monkey.

I'm gay.

You know, that was just like what.

Don't they kind of do that with Bowen now?

Isn't he like gay in every sketch?

I think so.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, I mean, I don't watch SNL, but every time I have, it's been something happens every week.

You know, it's like, oh, a hot air balloon.

That was literally one of them.

It was a Chinese spy balloon.

That's like, well, what if the balloon was gay?

Gay in Chinese.

That's kind of mad TV style.

Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of nice.

They're like, this time, what if it was the debate was actually the stage was gay

in Chinese.

And then they're just standing on them.

He's like, wow, really heavy, guys.

Feeling a little chubby on the left side.

I can't do this.

I just got a makeover.

I just got my nails done, and you're ruining my new nails.

Hurry it up.

I got to go shopping later.

Yeah, I have to buy stuff.

I have to buy things.

I'm Chinese.

This is so groundbreaking.

Also, I'm Chinese.

This has never been done before.

The ugliest scroll you've ever seen is in Emerson the next day going, did you see S Hannah last night?

Did you see the new S Hannah last night?

You on there read it?

He was a watermelon.

Yeah.

Have you been on R slash live Live from New York?

I did when Shane was on, just to see.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They take it so seriously.

I know.

They have like a

okay.

Here's the recap of, you know, it's a fucking,

well, it's a show for like industry.

I mean, it's like, it might as well be like a political party.

Yeah.

You know, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's like the whole pipeline, SNL, and then, yeah, the way people see it is, and it's really, it's Tina Faye's fault.

Not that anything she did, but just who she was as a person because she kind of turned being like an SNL writer.

Because nobody gave a fuck who wrote for SNL.

It was just like, which cast member does the most cocaine?

Right.

You know.

And then you couldn't aspire to be that because they all died.

Yeah, people don't die anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to Ireland tomorrow.

It's crazy.

We probably have the most big fat comedians of all time right now.

Right now, yeah.

Yeah.

If you think about it, like with Stav, Shane, and Tim have all made a past.

Well, Stav's got one more year.

Shane's not fat, though.

Shane's not really fat.

He's just tall.

Oh, sorry, guys.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I would also like some feature work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He does, yeah, he's not.

Shane, we don't think you're gay either if you're watching.

He does kind of have a shooting range face.

You know what I mean?

Right.

All right, I guess.

Yeah, I'll be on your.

Yeah.

I'm going to do that.

I'm going to shooting range and you can either get a Greta Thunberg or a Shane Ruby.

Or shameless Shane dummy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To shoot at.

He set it on fire.

Yeah, yeah.

You throw ninja stars at it.

How crazy if you go to shooting range as an Asian guy, but just

launching, throwing stars at Shane.

You say fuck about me.

You're like, I'm sorry, I love you on SNL.

You're really really funny.

Yeah, there's an SNL raider like this.

That's Boeing.

But gay.

What if he's the guy who's like, oh my God, I'm going to mess up my nails with the throwing stars?

That is kitchen.

I'm going to be late to shopping.

I got shopping to do.

Oh, I have to get home to watch Drag Race.

You've been to Ireland, Nick?

Yes.

I'm going.

You're going.

Yeah, you're going.

You know what's funny, though?

You talk about fat comedians.

Sorry to interrupt you, but fat communities.

There was a generation before that, right?

There was like Ralphie Mae and John Pinette.

Ralphie, yeah, well, that's what I mean.

Yeah,

John Penette died.

Yeah.

And he was like not even that.

He was just...

It's like his material did more damage to his heart than his weight did, you know, because he was fat, but his whole thing was like, I love fucking, I love ice cream.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

That was like his whole thing.

He'd be like, talk about how fat he was.

We had my 600-pound life on TV.

Can you imagine going back to the 60s and being like, look at how fucking fat we're going to...

You think somebody's fat now?

Yeah.

Just wait.

They're going to be on TV.

Yeah.

They're going to be TV shows about trying to get these.

You got to call in the fire department to get them out of bed.

Right.

You know?

Anyways, I think about that a lot.

Really?

I think the best part about my 600 pound life is like when they have like a skinny husband that like gets them topped.

They always do.

Yeah, I know.

Isn't that that guy's awesome to me?

Yeah.

and they're not getting yelled at.

He gets yelled at by the doctor because they're always like sneaking food to them.

Yeah, they're the enabler, typically.

But to me, that's like so alpha to be loyal to your 1,200-pound wife.

If my wife was 1,200 pounds, I would listen to everything she says.

Yeah.

Until I mean my wife.

My wife is 900 pounds, and I'm starting to

listen to me.

How much longer can I do this?

How much longer can I sneak her taco bell?

Yeah, she's not very fat.

She's just very dense.

Yeah, Her skeleton is solid.

There's no hollow parts of it.

Her skull is just all bone.

There's no cranial cavities, just

one big bone.

Yeah.

And she gets her thoughts from the phone.

The phone does the thing for her.

Sorry, Deb.

No, your wife's great.

You're watching.

Thanks.

Nick, you've been to Ireland?

You asked me that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Where did you go?

Well,

I guess we flew into Shannon, and then we're all around.

Yeah, we had a rental car.

We went to the West.

We were going to the West.

Yeah, I mean, I went to Dublin and stuff and Galway.

Yeah, yeah.

Was it the Dingle Peninsula?

I remember that name being funny.

It's funny.

Dingleberry.

So the cliffs where people kill themselves.

Yeah.

Is that true?

Yeah, they told us that.

Which it seems like there was something very Irish about it.

Yeah.

That they're like, oh, yeah, you know, people

will kill themselves here.

You know, and it's like, that's okay.

I mean, you can say that about the Golden Gate Bridge or the fucking Empire State.

Maybe not the Empire State Building, but like...

People kill themselves in a lot of things.

But pitching it to

a tourist.

Yeah.

Unless it's happening every day.

It's like, you know.

Yeah.

You're just being like goth.

Yeah.

You know, like, oh, wow.

Because I'm sure a lot of people kill themselves at Disney World, but they don't talk about that on the TV.

Yeah.

And the other thing, too, is like, even having said that, there's not really any protection against that happening when you go to that place.

There's like a little

chain where it's like, hey, don't step over this and kill yourself, but you can.

Yeah.

I'll check that out.

What are you looking for?

They seem like nice people in Ireland.

Yeah, they do.

I was like on YouTube.

I was like, I want to know the songs

that they sing at the pubs.

Okay.

It looks nice that they all know the words.

They do that.

You go to like the small pubs.

Yeah, it looks really nice.

In towns, there'll be somebody who's like grandpa.

It's really sweet when an old person sings and plays music.

I've always thought.

But I was like, I need to learn these IRA

rebel songs.

Sure.

So they think I'm cool.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, what are we singing, Penny?

Like, taking notes.

Guys, I've been studying the songs.

Get the fuck out of here.

Get out of our pub.

What you're doing to the Palestinians is fucking disgusting.

Why do we have to bring up Israel?

You're a fucking bosser.

I haven't done anything.

Get the fuck out of our pub.

And don't get me started on Woody Island.

You people make me sick.

Anyway, should we call it, guys?

All right,

thanks, Pete.

Good to be here.

Thanks, Mike.

Thanks, Mike.

Can we see you?

Yeah, I got a podcast out for smokes that you can listen to, and I got a special on YouTube right now called Mike Racine Omnormal.

A couple of tickets left for the 21st of September in London.

Looking forward to those shows and seeing you.

Once again, Irvine Improv, 660 seats.

Mistake to book that.

But please.

You sold it out last time.

I know.

That was last time.

Not this time.

Yeah.

You know, but yeah, please come out.

It'd be fun to see you in Orange County.

That's that.

From Australia to San Francisco, Cullen Jewelry brings timeless craftsmanship and modern lab-grown diamond engagement rings to the U.S.

Explore Solitaire, trilogy, halo, and bezel settings, or design a custom ring that tells your love story.

With expert guidance, a lifetime warranty, and a talented team of in-house jewelers behind every piece, your perfect ring is made with meaning.

Visit our new Union Street showroom or explore the range at cullenjewelry.com.

Your ring, your way.

My phone just buzzed.

Another data breach alert.

It was a reminder that VPNs and encrypted apps can't fix what's broken at the network level.

That's where CAPE comes in.

CAPE is a secure mobile carrier built with privacy as its foundation.

It doesn't collect names, addresses, or personal data, so it can't sell what it never stores.

Use the code CAPE33OF to get the first month of premium nationwide service for just $30 and 33% off the first six months.

Go to Cape.co.

Privacy starts at the source.