The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Drew Dunn - Episode 62

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Hello, everybody.

Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.

Today's date is

June.

July?

July

10th?

11th.

I really have to check.

I got no idea.

July

12th,

2024.

And it is another hot summer in New York.

This one's brutal.

Yeah, it's relentless.

Joining today is Drew Dunn.

Hello.

Good to be here.

Yeah, thanks for coming.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

You were here last, this is the worst summer it's been in a while.

Yeah,

I feel like last summer, I mean, I was on the road a lot last summer, but it was,

I feel like we had breaks.

It was like a couple days, it'd be 90, and now it's just like every day.

I'm sweating my balls off.

Every other train car is no AC.

It just sucks.

Yeah, it's fun.

Yeah, what are you doing to stay cool this summer?

I also, I have truth be told, I've been skipping the podcast.

I've not been on the podcast for maybe a month now.

Yeah.

I'm not even sure.

Any particular reason or just not wanting to leave your house?

Well, Adam offered to do it.

He's like, I can cover it.

I was like, great, yeah.

Yeah, perfect.

Why not?

Take a month.

What does it matter?

Yeah, exactly.

No,

I just got to the point of being fat enough where I have to carry a rag with me or like a towel just to fucking douse my face and my hair off so I don't look like a sweaty pig in between spots.

So that's been fun.

There's really not much you can do to like stay cool other than like walk into a random restaurant or something like that.

I find that big hats really help.

The big hat, it looks good on you, too.

Yeah, well, yeah, somebody gave it to me.

Okay.

Yeah.

I would think it would do the opposite.

I feel like it would trap in because I feel like when I take this hat off, I'm just a sweaty motherfucker.

I think that.

Remember as a kid, you learn about Arabs and you're like, what the fuck are they doing?

You're in the desert.

Why are you wearing like a

dappel collection bedset?

It wasn't?

You had a different.

No, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's just funny to be like, what the fuck are they doing?

Because that is your first thought as a little white boy in New England when you see a.

Yeah, you'd think that would not make sense, but it makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, yeah.

But what is the science behind that?

Is it just because it's like a light fabric, or is it just like airflow?

Yeah, I would imagine airflow.

It maybe works like a radiator, sort of.

But then you see people in the Caribbean.

Nobody's wearing hijabs down there.

There are no shirts, sandals.

Maybe it's because it's more humid.

It's dry here.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the humidity probably fucks you up if you're wearing all the fabrics and Egyptian silks and shit.

Yeah, yeah.

And then in Yemen, I don't know what they wear in Yemen.

Are you into this whole Middle East stuff?

Oh, I put bets on it.

Do you?

Yeah, they got it on FanDuel.

Yeah, it's fun to.

It's exciting stuff.

I mean,

it's fun because it does remind me of what Hollywood's doing with movies, which they're just doing remakes.

It's just the same.

It seems like the same conflict over and over.

The Yemen thing is new.

Yemen's new, but it's not really new.

It has been happening for like 10 years.

We've just been dropping it.

The civil war has.

But

throughout that civil war, I mean, they only had like, I think the Houthis only had small arms.

Now Iran's giving them missiles and stuff.

Yeah.

Blowing up all these ships.

That's awesome.

I think that's great.

I think the more global conflict, the better, because because it gives us something to talk about.

And for me, I'm like, if we're going to all die in a fiery hellhole, I don't think that'll ever happen.

You don't think.

I'm agreeing with you on that.

I think, like,

it's just a distraction.

It's just another thing to, like, oh, we're going to be.

It's like, this feels like the Red Scare fucking 50s.

We're all going to get nuked, bullshit all over the world.

I don't think you're going to have, yeah, you're not going to have nuclear conflict until we pass a couple of generations where they don't have

the shadow of the the cold war cast over them i think it will take a corporation coming up with nuclear technology so like that's where i see like the big if there is this big war it'll be some guy in a fucking ocean base right now who's building a robot army and figuring out how to make nukes i don't think they're allowed to do that yeah but if you're trying to like make a new world order or something like that there's stuff like in in u.s law there's something called like a natural born secret Okay.

Where like,

you know, because we have like freedom of expression and freedom of thought.

Right.

Like, I think legally, even if you're in your own head, you don't even write it down, you come up with an idea for cold fusion, the government just owns it, and you're not allowed to tell anybody.

Interesting.

But don't you think they would just buy it out and hire you and put you in a base themselves?

They would probably offer you some money, but yeah,

they do own it.

But don't you think, I mean, when you leave, like let's say you came up with Cold Fusion, when you just leave it.

And I don't think it's because Cold Fusion is like an energy solution.

But if you came up with, I actually think, because you know, we already have like thermonuclear, you know, weapons, right?

Right.

Um, but the tech, the actual technology is secret.

I don't think that, like, you know, like they say, like, Iran can develop a nuclear bomb.

Right.

I think that's just, like, just a fission bomb.

Right.

You're talking about like just what we made in the 40s kind of thing.

Yeah.

The new big, huge, 40 times the size of that nuke.

A fusion bomb using an uranium explosion to make fucking, you know, turn hydrogen into helium, whatever that process is.

Right.

Right, right.

I think that's still pretty like secret technology.

And if you were to come up, if you were to figure it out,

like even if you were to, you couldn't go to like the New York Times and be like, hey, check this out.

It's like

interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah, not that I'm sure you would.

I think if you're the guy working on nuclear experiments in your basement, you're probably trying to keep that secret as long as possible until you try and do something.

But I mean, I think we're way more likely to have just

random little terrorist attacks or conflicts or fights like that.

That's more of the threat, I think, as far as a war breaking out in the United States.

Less likely that a nuke just comes out of nowhere and drops it.

And also, I'm not really worried about that.

I'm pretty sure we have UFOs.

I'm pretty sure we're going to be fine.

Like, if we have nukes and UFOs, who's going to fuck with us?

You think we actually have UFOs?

I think we have something.

I think we have some crazy, dark secret.

You don't have that big of a military budget.

You don't experiment.

Do you think it's aliens, or do you you think it's ancient civilizations that left technology somewhere in the ocean?

It might be both.

I think what we're probably seeing a lot of UFOs is more than likely what we're experimenting with and trying to recreate.

I don't think a lot of it is aliens coming to visit from another world.

I love the ancient

apocalypse theory.

Do you watch that show Ancient Aliens?

I don't watch Ancient Aliens because they get a little...

I've seen bits of it, but

that show's amazing.

They get a little too outside.

It's amazing.

I love hearing the theories, but for me, they always take it one step too far where I'm like, you didn't need to say that's what that was.

Yeah, I know, because it's always all of this insane conjecture, but then throughout the episode, it gets crazier and crazier.

Yes, exactly.

Because it'll start off like, you know, radiocarbon dating shows that they were building these immense structures thousands of years before they should have been able to.

Right, right.

And look at this stick figure.

And that's where I'm in.

I'm like, this is great.

Look at this stick figure.

Tell me that's not an alien.

Yeah, right.

It's like, tell me that's not.

Tell me that stick figure is not an alien.

It's taller than the other stick figures.

It's not that nobody knew how to draw back then.

Yeah, right.

So that they were just figuring out how elbows worked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, I love that stuff.

Because just the idea that we don't have it all figured out and that there are some mistakes in our past line of history is exciting to me.

Well, even with, I mean, yeah, we don't have it figured out.

And also, like, technology isn't like, it's not like you figure something out and then we just have the ability.

I mean, even in your own life, I'm sure you've done that, like, where,

you know, everything's on YouTube now.

So let's say your fucking laptop breaks.

You seem like a smart guy.

You know, your laptop breaks and you're like, well, I don't want to pay Apple fucking $500 to replace the screen.

Right.

Maybe I can try getting a replacement screen myself and see how hard it is to disassemble this laptop.

Totally.

And so you watch a video, you watch the video,

you do it, you do it successfully, and you're like, oh, yeah, now I know how to open up a MacBook Pro and put a new screen in this thing.

Give it two years and you're like, where do you start?

And you're like, I don't fucking know.

Yeah, absolutely.

And it's like, you know, that's how NASA works.

You know, like all the technology we developed to go to the moon.

It's like all those rocket engines, those like F1 engines, they were all like hand-built and it was like.

Yeah, by one dude who had the idea.

Now they're looking back 40 years later and they're like, how the fuck did Mark do that?

We're trying to go back to the moon, I guess, next year.

Yeah, I was reading about this for a while.

It's the Artemis programs.

The Artemis program.

and you know what?

I don't consider myself to be actually prejudiced in any way.

I say things that are like you know, rude jokes or whatever, but you know, it's I've always been like, Yeah, I don't think I'm like prejudiced, and there's no, like, I've never been bothered before about like you know, the idea of a black president that doesn't bother me, the idea of a black lady president doesn't bother me, right?

But then I found out with the Artemis program that they're sending a woman of color and a gay man to the moon, specifically, it's like they're casting Survivor, and that was the first time I was like, uh,

no,

no

you know what i mean that's the one there should be one thing that white guys get to keep yeah and it's the moon it's the at least the moon it's the moon it is white after all we were the that's ours we were the only ones that went there yep as soon as like as soon as the civil rights movement started they said burn the files yeah right we're not you're not we're never forget it we're not fucking you know verner von braum was a nazi let's destroy all of his work we're not going back to the moon no one's going to the moon

i mean, there's the whole conspiracy theory that we never went to the moon and all that stuff, and we can't get through the radiation belts and all that.

I'm not sure I buy any of that.

I mean, I think we went to the moon.

I think NASA and the government.

Is that the argument?

Is that there's too much radiation?

There's no way.

Because the radiation is...

Yeah,

some sort of radiation belt that comes from our poles and goes around, and that

supposedly you're not, if you send a human through that, they would just die immediately.

But they can measure that level of radiation.

That's what I'm saying.

Something like, you know, because the moon is a six to eight day trip.

Right.

You go up there, and that level of exposure, it is elevated.

It puts you at like, you know, I think the number is like

five to ten percent more risk of cancer over your lifetime.

But it's not like, you know, being put in a microwave.

Yeah, but I think like with Mars, I think that's the problem is because it's a much longer exposure period.

Yeah, you're there for a long time and the whole muscle dystrophy and all this other stuff that you have with being in space.

But yeah, I just would you go to the moon if you had the option to absolutely fucking not.

No chance.

I don't know.

I think, I don't think I'd want to.

You won't even ride in those.

You ever go in a building and they have like the elevators where you have to like close the door?

Yeah, that's my building.

Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm not using it.

You don't want to get strapped into a rocket?

I'm just even before they figured out what the fucking elevator was supposed to be.

I'm not, yeah, doing the machine's job.

Right, right, right.

Yeah, I don't know.

I do think about that because I think about William Shatner getting blasted into a rocket by Blue Origin just to barely even leave the stratosphere and come back down.

I'm like,

how much riskier is that than just getting on a fucking Delta flight these days?

Or is it like...

Is it to the point where it will be routine enough one day that it will just be like going to the airport and you just get in a rocket and launch yourself to Japan or go to a space station hotel for a long time?

I'm not sure someday, yeah, probably.

But right now, it's like, no, it's way too crazy.

There's no way.

Yeah, I won't even get on most roller coasters.

I won't like, fuck that.

And then I I have to really ask myself: if the rocket that's got the black lady and the gay man in it were to blow up,

you know, we're watching the, I'm at a bar, everyone's celebrating this.

Wow, we're finally putting a black lady and a gay man.

Finally.

And the rocket blows up, and then I have to look around the bar being like, oh no.

What will my internal monologue be?

Yeah, it's much, it's less hard-hitting than the school teacher that died on the

whatever fucking blanket.

The Challenger.

Didn't Columbia also blow up?

Yeah.

Both the shuttles blew up.

Yeah, yeah, we're pretty solid at blowing up shuttles.

It'll be interesting to see if we've gotten any better at it once we start doing this Artemis thing.

Because you would hope with...

Artemis is more privatized than the ones prior.

I think the space shuttle, was that made by Boeing, or is that...

I think so.

There was a lot of involvement.

I think it was one of those things like they were just trying to get every space.

SpaceX is doing the rockets for the Artemis program.

Okay.

So yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, if there's anybody who's done enough trial and error on their stuff, it would be them.

It still blows my mind that we can watch, I mean, that we can just land rockets like it's nothing, and that nobody thought of trying that for a long time.

We were just launching it.

Well, I think they had to develop that specifically because there's less gravity on the moon, so the lunar lander was like

less of a struggle than for Mars because Mars doesn't, Mars has like pretty significant gravity.

Yeah.

I mean, it's certainly a lot more than the moon it's like maybe 75 percent of Earth or something or more I don't know and that's why when we landed those drones on there they just had like that big balloon basically that they just they just like throw it into a bouncy can't use parachutes either because there's no atmosphere right right right yeah I mean what do you think do you think we end up living on Mars in like a couple hundred years do you think that's even an option or is this like just crazy because it just seems kind of silly to me to be like we're gonna destroy this planet so let's go to a destroyed planet it's like don't you think it'd be better to just let this one get destroyed and fix this one it'll probably be be.

It's like looking at a car that needs a new transmission.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then looking at a Dodge dart that's been in the yard for 100 years.

We should go to the

mind.

It makes more sense to like, well, shouldn't we figure out how to build underwater cities first?

Yeah, if the world's going to fly.

Colonize Antarctica.

Right.

You know, I mean, yeah,

and the fact that we can't do that, it's like, you know.

Or sky cities like the Jets.

We can't have anything that's not.

There's still a lot of consensus on what kind of pants you need to buy to go to Antarctica.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, we seem very far from figuring it out.

Yeah, yeah.

Northface is just lying to everybody.

Yeah, let's fucking up to minus 50 degrees and you'll be fine.

And I watch dudes on YouTube.

They're like, this is not working.

I'm freezing to death.

Yeah, right.

So I would go.

I mean, I would definitely live in an underwater city.

Yeah, I think that would be fun, but it's also just as dangerous as

I would have to be drunk the whole time.

Oh, yeah.

Well, why wouldn't you be?

I would have to be like some like.

I'm not going to go down there and start doing stuff.

I'm just like a weird homo homo that wears like tuxedos all the time and I'm always trashed.

They do need that because if it if it gets too formal down there in those underwater bases, people get a little uppity.

They'll be like, I don't see this.

We don't deal with surface dwellers.

They do need one guy in a tuxedo who looks like he's lost from his friends at a bachelor party to like reel him in back to reality.

Yeah.

You're just fishing out the window.

Little pencil mustache.

Yeah.

You're always touching people a little too much.

Would you live on Mars?

No, I think it would be like.

I think I'd have to lose everything here.

I would have to be like in a John Wick situation where they killed my dog and my family and I don't know how to fight or shoot guns well enough to like

John Wick 5.

John Wick 5.

He goes there's still a hotel with the guy at it and he takes the coin and gets a fucking ray gun and starts shooting aliens.

Yeah, I think that would be probably the only situation I would end up in trying to go to another planet is like I need to do that revenge story, and I don't have the capacity to do it, so then I just leave and try something else.

Yeah,

it does seem pretty unfair and depressing that, like,

the other planets, especially even the ones, because Mar the Moon I get, you know, it's the moon, whatever.

That makes sense that it's, there's nothing there.

Yeah.

But Mar, it's fucking hard to get to Mars.

I think there should already be like oxygen or something.

Yeah.

There should be like a pond.

Yeah, there should be at least.

There should be something.

Like an ice skating rink, at least if it's cold enough instead of the pond.

It's pretty fucked up that it's just completely like, oh, well, we got to make an atmosphere.

It's like, that's.

Yeah, and then, I mean, Elon was like, oh, we should have nuke the poles, and it'll be totally fine.

And that's what I mean.

He says stuff like that, and it's like,

you just have a lot of money.

Yeah, and these are not ideas that like a fucking, like.

That's what I mean.

If there's a dude working on nukes in his basement right now, it's Elon Musk.

We made nuclear fusion.

Yeah.

We're going to nuke Moore's, try and figure out how to get gay and black women to the Mars.

It'll be very good.

Yeah, what's the thinking with that?

The nuking the poles?

Something about

pressure to create an atmosphere or something?

I'm too stupid to know what it is, but yeah, something about it kind of reignites the magnetic poles or something like that, which would slowly make a magnetic sphere.

The premise of the movie, The Core, they have to drill to the core of the Earth and restart because the Earth is losing.

Yeah, Yeah, they have to go put something in the core to make it do its thing.

But then the poles wouldn't do it.

You would have to drill to the center of Mars and then.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, it depends on who's doing more sound science, Elon Musk or the producers of the core.

I think the producers of the core.

I think they did.

Because the core came out in that, and this is that

I like to complain about this.

I remember growing up, you'd go see movies, right?

And the movies would just be,

especially in the 90s, they'd focus on, you know, those big blockbuster movies, the high-concept movies, where it's mostly just a story.

They do no research into really the underlying thing, you know,

like Top Gun or whatever.

They consulted with the Navy, and then the Navy was coming in and being like, well, that's not how any of this works.

And they said, shut up.

We're just going to show you how our job is to make people like movies.

Right.

You know, like, we're not going to make the Navy look bad, but, yeah.

But that was still a big selling point of that movie, I think, of like, wow, they worked with the Navy for this, dude.

Well, it's propaganda, yeah, exactly, exactly.

Um, but but, um,

you know, I, I, I, you know, people complain about it, they'd be like, oh, it's not technically accurate, and then this weird era started of like, well, we'll get a lot of consultants and we will make it technically accurate, right?

But for the sake of like,

now this is a boring movie.

This is a boring and shitty movie.

I don't want to see a documentary.

I came here to watch Tom Cruise do something that, you know, fucking Terry Cruise is actually the pilot can't do.

You know what I mean?

I would say, because they did that with, I feel like Interstellar was kind of,

now we've reached a better place.

But

Interstellar, yeah, it's not a bad movie, but

the way people were sucking that movie off for being like, oh, and that's actually how it would happen.

It's like, I don't care.

Yeah.

Also,

you don't fucking know that.

I don't, yeah, I don't need it to be real.

Right.

Also,

all I'm going to say when when you tell me that is like,

well, no, it isn't.

It's also, no, it isn't because we're not going through black holes to go to other.

Yeah, you'll probably die.

What are you talking about?

Oh, yeah, no, Matthew McConaughey.

You go behind your bookshelf.

Oh, we talked to a guy in Princeton and said, if you wanted to travel through time to talk to your bulldyke daughter, how would you do it?

How would you make that happen?

That was very simple, actually.

Yeah, but that's where, like, but at the same time, some of the stuff, the silliness in movies like that can take me out of it.

Like, gravity, that's what happened to me.

I'm like, really?

We're just Sandra Bullocks just flying around the fucking

gravity.

But that's what I mean.

That gravity I thought was great because it's like visually very pretty.

Very pretty, very fun to watch.

And there are major plot holes in that movie.

It doesn't make any sense.

Right, right.

It's like the whole premise is this woman's son dies, and so now she is

sort of static in life.

She's paralyzed by the the death of it's her son or her daughter.

I can't remember.

Her child dies, and she can't do anything.

And they present this character as if she's just been stuck

since her child died.

And it's like,

you're an astronaut in fucking space.

What do you mean you like, I just can't, yeah, I haven't been able to peel myself off the couch.

It's like you went to fucking space.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, like, oh, I just, I don't know if I could brush my teeth this morning because I don't have a child to smile at anymore.

Well, time to apply to NASA and get like a fucking PhD.

That's all just to do.

Do the hardest thing to do in a career.

And then my favorite part about it is the movie opens.

I saw it when it came out, so I don't even remember if this is accurate.

So, who's the other person in the movie?

George Clooney?

Clooney, yeah.

Yeah.

They're in space, like outside of the ship, working on like the space station or something.

Right.

And he just sort of floats up to her.

He's like, so what's your deal?

I'm like, this is the first time they're meeting.

Yeah.

These people have never been the line.

These people have never had a substantive conversation.

None of the training, no

degree.

Until now, when you're floating around in space together, fixing the spaceship.

Yeah, small talk while you're just floating around in space is pretty fucking wild.

Pretty wild.

I love when I get just

indignant about something and I'm yelling about it, and then my pockets are just empty.

My pants are falling down.

It's a real passion that you have about clunying.

I love this shit.

Did you watch Biden's press conference?

I watched bits and pieces.

It was hard to stomach watching the whole thing.

I get so cringe in my chest when he's going to say, he says Putin.

I'm just like, ah,

yeah.

They delayed it for like an hour, so I ended up watching just CNN for an hour.

Okay.

And then CNN goes to Bakari Sellers.

He's like, I find it really disappointing that there wasn't more wagons circling around this issue.

And then after the debate performance, all of these conversations were aired publicly on news networks.

Yeah, yeah.

And he's like, and you got, you know, George Clooney writing this letter.

And it's like, what are the wagons in your mind?

What did Clooney write?

Clooney, because Biden, I don't know, there was some kind of, I didn't actually follow this story.

Okay, okay.

My understanding is that Amal Clooney,

formerly known as George Clooney's wife, Amal Clooney, she

is involved in somehow in either the ICC case against Netanyahu or the ICJ case against the state of Israel with South Africa or something.

I don't know, because she's a human rights lawyer, which I guess is sort of like a hobby that she has

outside of being George Clooney's wife.

And so she was involved in the case.

And

the administration, like, either rebuked the case, or Ramal Clooney in particular, and then George Clooney wrote some letter or called the White House or something like that.

Okay.

Yeah, Bakari Sellers was complaining that the the the the wagons weren't circled and it's he's imagining some caravan that includes George Clooney and Stacey Abram.

Whatever is going on in his mind,

there needs to be that level of collusion where George Clooney should have privately called him first

before criticizing the president.

Very weird, very weird.

I think that this is the best time to criticize a president or a candidate.

I think he should have done SNL right after the debate.

Oh, that would have been amazing.

Because even if he did terrible, he would be like, I was joking.

Yeah.

It's all jokes, folks.

It's supposed to be funny.

Yeah.

That That would have been bulletproof.

That's why these guys are all idiots.

That would be like a day one answer.

Totally.

You know, if I saw that debate performance, I'm sitting in the White House.

I'm like, call up Lauren Michaels, get Biden, have him host it now.

Yes.

Record it now.

Make him do a parody of himself.

Keep him on the show.

We keep him awake all night.

And by all night, you mean until 230 p.m.

next time we have to, yeah, until we have to shoot SNL.

Yeah.

Do not let that man get a wink of sleep.

Make sure he is as sun-downed as possible.

Yeah, he's just dozing off.

And then sending away

live from New York.

It's great to be here on Mad TV.

Oh, yeah, Matt TV is one of my favorite days.

Whoa,

whoa, whoa,

that would have worked.

It would have worked.

Because people would be like, oh, he's joking.

Oh, it's always a bit.

Because then if he could get that endearing, like

a lot of people criticize George W., but he did have that silly, endearing quality to him where he was just kind of like that little kid that was always around.

Just like, ah, look at him.

He's doing that.

That little laugh was like, Biden doesn't have that endearing, like, ah, he said something silly.

It's like, geez, it's kind of concerning.

Well, Bush was ineloquent, but like, Biden's, like, it's very funny to watch that press conference and then you watch like, or you read, like, print coverage.

And they transcribe what Biden said.

And it's like, I understand that was the thrust of the sentence, but it's not how it was said.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're not doing exact quotes here.

He's doing this new thing now where he's like leaning in and whispering.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He'll be like,

they all said that if my plan was going to, it was going to, then that inflation was going to go, that it was going to be the worst it ever was.

And then he'll lean in and go, and guess what?

It didn't happen.

He's like doing this, you know, but his body's too slow.

That was probably a thing he could have pulled off 40 years ago.

Yeah, or I think he, maybe he thinks he's talking at a normal volume.

And his ha, his weird skeletal, like rheumatic hand keeps like coming up and he's like placing it like a claw over the podium.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm president of the United States.

It is.

It's a whisper.

And sometimes he'll just go and yell.

And then he'll go back to the store.

He started yelling at one point about like gun violence

out of nowhere.

He's like, more child dies.

And then he just got quiet again.

That's fun.

It's fun that he's in charge.

I don't know what our options are.

I think, like, we don't know if anyone who's running is going to be alive or free by the time the election actually happens.

So it'll be fun, I think.

I think it'll just be Trump gets elected.

I think so, unfortunately.

And, yeah, he just does whatever

investors tell him to do.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's uneventful.

My only problem with Trump.

There'll probably be a lot of

violence, like you said, between groups of people.

It'll be riots, and people will kill each other.

Totally.

And then Trump will sit there and go, wow, that's really terrible.

It's awful.

It's so bad.

Wow, these people.

That's terrible that they did that.

We're so sad about these people.

I had nothing to do with it, but these people, they're so crazy, these people.

Yeah.

And then that's it.

No, we never hear about it.

And we'll move right on to the next thing, and he'll say something crazy.

The only thing that affects my day-to-day with Trump being elected is people get vilified against trying to find out if you're left or right.

How about this?

We do Artemis.

Oh, yeah.

They send him up there, and then because of the riots, Trump doesn't let him come back.

Yeah.

We're leaving the black lady up there.

We're going to leave him up there.

No, if any other gay people want to go to the moon, we're going to do free sign-ups for all the gays and blacks.

He's fucking the moon.

Say he's fucking.

He's fucking the moon.

We don't want that.

He's having sex with the moon.

We have to.

I don't know.

We asked the scientists.

We think he gave the moon AIDS.

We're still doing a lot of tests.

It's hard to tell.

Moon AIDS is brand new.

It's a new science.

There we go.

Now we're cooking.

That's good.

You got Elon.

You got Trump.

Who else you got?

Fuck.

I haven't any, because obviously you do impressions.

I do impressions.

I do more voices and characters than impressions.

Everybody that does impressions is, I feel like across the board, there's people that do impressions, and you feel like, I can do these because they're in the toolkit.

Yeah.

But then you always got one that you're like,

that's you.

You do this one.

Oh, yeah.

That's yours.

One of the first impressions I ever did was the David Attenborough from Planet Earth.

That was one of my favorite types of people when we're talking about planet Earth.

That's probably very accurate.

I'm having trouble remembering what he actually sounds like because, in my mind, it's just, I mean, it could be Jason State.

Yeah.

It could be any British person.

That and one I've been doing lately is RFK Jr.

just because of of that.

That's tough.

That one's a tough one.

You have to pretend like you're shaking

while you're talking.

Yeah.

As if you're getting pushed down the laundry basket, down the stairs.

There's like an additional, there's something else about his voice.

Yeah.

It's like every third word he's sucking in air.

Yeah,

it's like that.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

That makes it very hard.

I can't listen.

I've never heard more than seven words out of it.

It's hard.

I listened to his Rogan just because I was trying to figure out what this guy was about and if it was him being this extremist anti-vax guy that they say he is in the mass media or if he's just guy but i had to break it up for three hours straight to listen to that

it's a lot with the environment it's in rain crazy that war is still going on there's still like people

there's on one side there's still the like uh the pandemic is still going on i know i know and then there's also the people that are still anti-vax and it's like you have to understand people could be dropping like flies from the vaccine right now right and no one would care right it's a we've got bigger issues at hand they're trying to put a gay man on the moon i know i know we need to stay focused on what really i'm sorry but it's at what point do you say enough is enough

the gay man on the moon i think is the line i think

once bruce jenner wants to go to space i think people will really be that'll be the final straw is are they bruce again or oh fuck yeah fucked up there you go you don't care no one who watches this show clip it and ship it yeah

Yeah, I don't know.

Whatever.

Whatever they want to be in the show.

I wound up on

the

penis-making subreddit, the falloplasty.

Because

every once in a while, I'll check in and see how the surgeries are doing.

Sure, sure.

That's a good American show.

They have.

It's really getting close.

Yeah.

It's really getting close.

They're doing impressive stuff.

Once they can figure out how to not have to use half your arm.

Yeah.

I mean, that's the crazy.

The amount that goes into making a dick.

Yeah.

You would think it would be easier to make a dick than a pussy.

Yeah.

Well, no, because you'll see these posts on that subreddit where it'll be, they'll have their cock.

First of all, they're getting huge cocks.

That's a guy.

Of course.

There's a black guy on there that, I mean, maybe because he's like black, they're like, well, I guess it should be huge.

He's just missing his arm that took the whole thing.

It's fucking, it's crazy.

I mean, mean, they show, he's like, just got the surgery done.

It's right post-op surgeries.

I mean, it's like...

It's got a wrist.

It's beyond even an eggplant.

I mean, it's just fucking this enormous cock.

And then you zoom out on the picture, and then it looks like the sex toy where it's just they've cut everything off.

Oh, my God.

Just to make this thing.

Yeah, I don't know.

If you could change your dick, would you?

Like, if you had the option to go in and get that surgery for free.

No, I'm too old.

I don't fucking care.

I'm the same way.

I'm like, I'm old.

Plus, this is just my dick now.

That's the nice thing about you get older and you start having like heart problems and joint problems and you realize like how fragile and irreplaceable every other part of your body is.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, I don't, I would do the reverse.

If I had carpal tunnel syndrome, I'd say, dude, cut that off and put the...

Give me another tap.

I know it works one way.

Make it work the other.

Give me a new wrist

because I don't have any feeling in this finger anymore.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it just went away on this side.

The nerve was compressed or something.

Yeah, if we take a little bit of your dick.

Just cut my dick off and get I want to.

I'm tired of getting paper cuts all the time because I can't fucking feel my hand.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just there's this weird dull burning sensation whenever I do the dishes.

There really is a subreddit for everything.

Yeah, but to go specific enough to watch people just make their new dicks.

Yeah.

There's fucking, we're hitting every category.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, they've really dialed it in.

And I remember I

can't spe I feel like it's comics.

I've heard this argument, or I used to see it on stage about the trans surgeries.

That's fine if you're

FTM, like to get the falloplasty, but they shouldn't be allowed to have a huge cock.

Yeah, you should have to have a microphone.

And you're forgetting something.

It's like they had to live as a woman for 20 years.

Right.

Give them the huge cock.

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, they know what they wanted.

They earned that.

They had no dick.

If you took some dick, you can get whatever size dick you want.

Right.

Yeah.

Exactly.

You know what I mean?

100%.

Yeah, I don't think there should be any restrictions.

If there were to be one, I would say you have to do whatever the national averages of the country you're transitioning in.

That's what you have to do.

You know what's crazy, too?

And

this is something that they have that I think maybe it's a little bit of a bonus.

This is where it gets into unfair territory.

Their dicks get bigger when they get fatter.

Oh, because it pushes it out instead of like absorbing it.

No, because it gets fatter.

Oh, the dick itself gets fatter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they make it out of like,

what do you call it, like adipus tissue?

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so it'll gain weight also.

So they get a fatter.

Oh, man.

I just had,

I was picturing like Wagu beef, like it's getting like in between the muscle seams.

I'm like, how long until that's a delicacy in some country is eating trans coffee?

I'm telling you, I looked at this forum, and you got to do some like, like 24 zoom-in enhanced level fucking pinching to really be like, okay, I see where this is.

Right, right.

I see what's going on here.

Yeah.

You know, it's pretty, yeah.

That's exciting.

I mean, the idea that you could eat enough to give yourself a bigger dick.

I mean, I thought I was doing that for a while.

You know, didn't

everywhere but the dick, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

It really resists.

If you're a cis man, it's the opposite.

It's tough.

Yeah, for them.

Yeah.

Maybe we could transition, transition back just to get a fat-filling cock.

Yeah, but you have to go the whole way.

But then my dick would be unhealthy.

It would have like a beer gut.

It wouldn't be looking very, very good.

Not that it looks great now.

I'm married anyway, so it doesn't really get shown on the market.

It doesn't matter much.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I don't need a cock transfer.

Yeah, I don't know what surgery.

I got a gum graft that failed a couple months ago.

So you wouldn't have much faith in a.

Well, it's not that I wouldn't have much faith.

I only brought it up to say that they have to reschedule it and they want to do it again.

And I'm like, I kind of don't want to.

I mean, they said I should, but.

Yeah, but they'll always say you should.

The dentist will always say, you really should take care of it.

And sometimes they're right.

Like, I've not listened to them and had, like, a tooth feel like it was going to explode in my head and be tortured for a few days.

To do it, they had to cut a pretty significant portion of the top of my mouth off.

Yeah, I've had that done.

They take it off and then they try and put it on there to stop the gun from receding.

It didn't.

It's healed now, but I feel like I can't really feel it.

And it's kind of weird.

And I don't know.

I mean,

maybe it's like an emotional thing.

But after, I didn't think about going in.

I'm like, oh, it's just a thing I need, the same thing as if I needed a root canal or anything else.

I'll just go in and do it.

But it's like

getting it done, it makes you feel very like, I felt very vulnerable and like I lost something.

It's like emotionally pretty tough.

So I don't know if I could really handle any kind of surgery.

I've never broken a bone or anything.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I've never had to have any, I've never had any kind of significant medical issue.

Yeah, the only significant thing I've had medical-wise, like I had my tonsils taken out as a kid, all that shit, but I had an ulcer when I was 21.

I had had this bacteria called H.

pylori, which I guess half of Americans have.

A lot of people have.

Apparently, now they're tying it to cancer and all this other shit if it just stays in your body.

But I had an ulcer like explode in my stomach.

I was working at this inning conference center at the time, and I was about to run this brunch for like 300 people,

just feeling awful.

I had like burps that just taste like death, and I go to the bathroom, throw up, and it threw up what looked like coffee grounds, like used coffee grounds.

I had that.

I had that happen one time.

I threw up, I drank a bunch, and then, yeah, I threw up like little black flakes.

Yeah, little black flakes coarsed like death.

I was just like, what is that?

And I googled it and it was like, oh, you're bleeding internally.

It's blood mixing with stomach bile.

Yeah.

That's like doing all that.

And then I ended up leaving work, almost got fired for it.

She was like, where are you?

My boss's like, where are you going?

I'm like, I'm going to the hospital.

I think I'm going to die.

She's like, no, you're not.

I think I gave myself an ulcer from going to White Castle one time when I was like 25.

Really?

Yeah,'cause I had, it was like six months.

I would wake up every single night with this searing pain in my stomach and I would have to like roll over on all fours to wait for it to go away and I could get back to sleep but it would wake me up every single night yeah that's what it was for me for a while it was like through the last couple years of high school and into college it was just like the searing pain right here there's nothing I could do no matter what I would eat it wouldn't matter I went on all these crazy diets nothing really worked and then eventually I just said fuck it and dealt with it and then I was drinking a coffee in the morning and it fucking exploded ended up in the hospital for like three days I had to get like five or six bags of blood put back into me and yeah it was it was pretty brutal but yeah that was like luckily I was still on my parents' insurance because I was young enough at that point.

Because if that happened now, it would be a fucking nightmare.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

But there, um, you can't, uh, I know it passed in New York

last winter, but uh, if you have to go to the emergency room for something, you just don't have to pay the bill anymore.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because they can't report it to the credit agencies, it'll

pass that.

It'll go to collections, and then collections is going to have to sue you.

But, like,

you know, if they do, then

you can just deal with that.

Yeah, and there's a thing with medical debt, too, that they have to accept any amount of payment.

And if, like, if you could only afford $10 and you try and give them a $10 payment and they don't accept it, the debt is forgiven.

Yeah, well, yeah, I think you have to set up a payment plan.

Yeah, it has to be like, I can give you $5 every month for the next 400 years.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's getting to the point now.

But it is bullshit.

I mean, that shit should be free.

My buddy just had a hemorrhoid removed.

The surgery was $84,000 was what he was billed.

There's no, there is literally no argument against

just making it free.

Yeah, I mean, the argument that is given is that people don't want to pay for other people's shit, but there are arguments.

That's not even really how taxes work.

No, no.

The government prints money to buy all the stuff.

They set a budget, and then they print all the money to pay for it, and then you use taxes to take money out of circulation.

Right, right, right.

So it's like, it doesn't make any sense.

Yeah.

Just make it free.

Just make it happen.

It's also, it's like, it's not a system that anyone can really take advantage of.

You know what I mean?

Of all the entitlement programs, it's the one, like,

not that I'm making this argument.

Like, you would have to be pretty sinister to do so.

But say, like, food stamps, it's like, totally.

Well, yeah, food stamps work, but they shouldn't be able to get dessert.

And it's like, they shouldn't be able to buy ice cream with it or

stuff like that, because you're an asshole.

But you can't even really do that with free healthcare.

They're like, oh, what?

They could just go get an appendectomy for fun.

It's like, what are you talking about?

There's very few people.

I mean, I do know some people who are always sick, that they always have something going on.

And there's

a lot of things that are,

that in and of itself is a medical condition.

If you go into a doctor several times and you don't have something, it should be on the doctor to determine, okay, this is psychological.

Now you go talk to a therapist.

Now you go talk to a therapist for free to resolve this issue.

And it's a way to, I mean, as far as like big pharma goes, you would think they would be the ones that are up in arms against it.

They're still going to get paid.

And you're going to be able to get all these pills to way more people than ever that wouldn't have even had access to going to the doctor and getting the pain pills.

Now you can just fucking shovel it all down everybody's throat.

There's more money for everybody.

You know?

Yep.

But yeah, I mean, it's getting to the point now.

$84,000 for a hemorrhoid surgery.

You're almost cheaper to fucking go to medical school, take most of the degree, learn how to do it yourself, and do it in your fucking bathroom.

Take the hemorrhoid off yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's another thing.

I don't think I will ever know if I have a hemorrhoid.

Either I've never had a hemorrhoid or I've had hemorrhoids my entire life.

Yeah, that's how I feel.

I'm like, there's something, there's something, it's a mess back there.

Yeah, right.

And people are like, well, you can look.

I'm like, what do you, how?

Yeah, how many mirrors do you need in your house?

Yeah, we need to be in the middle of the house.

You need that Egyptian setup where they put light in the bottom of the pyramid through nine mirrors just to look at my asshole.

To divine, and then I can figure out when Ra's coming back.

Yes, exactly.

At the same time.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll never look at my asshole, I don't think.

No,

I don't think there's a need to.

And plus, that's why I have a wife.

She can take a look if I have any really good idea.

That's why we developed bipedalism.

I think that's why humans got smart.

I think we developed bipedalism first.

Yeah.

And then you couldn't suck your own dick or look at your own asshole.

Can you see those monkeys?

Well, I got to figure out something else to do.

Yeah, exactly.

And you're like, oh, I'll make a computer.

Right.

That is a lot of the progress.

I'll invent the iPhone.

If you can't suck your own dick, you get a lot more done than if you've got to do.

Look at those monkeys in the zoo.

They're just sitting there jerking off onto the fucking glass screen.

Oh, that's that's shit.

My stopwatch turned off, peep.

Oh, shit.

Well, today's episode is brought to you by Blue Chew,

which that's not what this is.

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All right, so

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Yeah, I get it.

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Okay.

Or they

do what?

Like they

maybe it makes more NOX in your blood or something.

And then maybe that's what the I don't know how they work, but in general, there's three types.

The Tadalophil is the one where it's like you can kind of just sort of take that top of the day.

Okay.

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That's what that one's for.

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I'm not sure.

I don't really have too much information on that one.

Right, that makes sense.

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Right, right.

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That one's who's that for.

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Throwing them with the vitamin D3 and everything else and just popping it.

They taste good.

They taste like Smarties.

I got to be honest with you.

I keep coming back just for the taste.

Oh, that's fine.

That's got to fuck up the next few hours of the day.

They added stuff to the do-nots, so I don't know if I'm supposed to say this or not, but I think there is some evidence that for tadalophil, like a regular, just taking it regularly is like, might be good for your vascular health in general.

Okay.

Just to keep blood moving through your head.

Yeah, I've had issues with like high blood pressure and stuff.

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I went to two cardiologists, and they're like, you know, either you can get on medicine or just try to cut out the

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What I would recommend, I don't know if you can really do it, because I think you need to.

This is my suggestion to Blue Chew is part of this deal.

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Yeah, because because my personal experience I don't particularly like the tadalophil the sedenophil and I might be confusing the two does it make you feel weird like in your head or your body

one of them one of them makes your entire body like swollen Oh interesting I might have had an allergic reaction I might be on it right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I remember it's like my dick was hard but also my my nose was stuffy.

Oh interesting.

It was like it was like like just swollen.

Oh interesting.

But then the other one works exactly the way it's supposed to.

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So

go there, experiment, figure out which one you like.

They got like different options.

They have funny names for the different subscription tiers.

It's like the casual and then like the player and then the pro pack.

The pro which that's got to be short for prostitute.

Yeah, that can't be professional.

Which also the same.

Prostitute would be a professional.

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All pros.

But that one, it's like 90 pills a month or something.

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And we're back.

And we're back, and we're discussing the tragic, heartbreaking news that the Biden administration has decided to put a gay man on the moon.

Yes, and we're fed up.

Yeah.

We were hoping for more white men.

And, you know, there's only so much that you can do.

I'm just imagining we see the first moon walk, this guy.

What are his wrists doing?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, at least on the moon walking is kind of like skipping anyway.

I know, right?

How bad is that going to look?

That's going to be.

We'll be the laughing stock of China.

I always love that when people say that, either about Biden or Trump.

They're like, China is laughing at us.

It's like, they don't.

It's like, I don't think China laughs at anything.

No, I don't think most of them speak English.

I don't think they know what's really going on.

I don't think China is laughing.

Also, their internet's pretty restricted.

I don't even think they can see most of what's going on.

We have done a lot of laughing at China.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, for most of the 80s.

We were

laughing at China a lot.

I don't really have.

They're like, what?

They're laughing at our president.

Yeah.

It's like, we've laughed at basically every piece of their presidential

saying any part of China has been a subject of ridicule in popular American right what we said about nail techs alone in this country could be accompanied to what they're saying about the president yeah it's equal it's fair yeah yeah

now what that is one thing that China would not do is put a they would either put they would never put one gay man on the moon they would put all of them or none

yeah I don't I mean

I don't know.

What's the state of China's space program?

Probably pretty hard to find out.

I think they probably keep that pretty close to the chest.

I want to say they're launching satellites all the time.

They did something recently.

Maybe it was India claimed to put a guy on the moon.

What if China or Russia, they also have a secret moon program, our gay guys end up there at the same time and they fall in love?

And they never want to go back.

And then it solves, it creates world peace.

I don't know if that would create world peace.

I think a bunch of Christians would be like, there's gay guys fucking in the heavens.

Get him.

What if that's the answer to all of the world's problems is letting two gay guys fall in love on the moon?

And that's the new live stream, like the 1969 moon landing.

Can you imagine how mad Italians would be at that?

It's one small step for man.

More so than Christians.

I think

Italians.

Italian.

Italian guy leaving his pizza restaurant at the end of the night.

He's just wiping his hands.

He's in the alley.

He looks up at the moon.

He's like, it's fucking disgusting.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

This is fucking disgusting.

Yeah.

Luigi, look at this.

They're fucking right there on the moon.

Yeah.

I can't stand it.

I might even be looking at it.

Happen.

They got to go to the dock side of the moon for that.

You want to fuck on the moon.

Do it on the Pink Floyd pot.

Do it on the Pink Floyd pot of the moon.

Yeah, it would be tough to fuck on the moon.

It'd be like fucking on the beach, I think.

You'd get sand in there.

It would be a tough time.

It is funny, too.

And I'd said, I offered offered the disclaimer of I'm not racist, but maybe I am.

I don't know.

When I imagine, because I know it's not the case, but they're like, oh, they're sending a black lady to the moon.

I imagine a black lady.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like at a central class.

Like Wanda Sykes up on, you know,

with an attitude.

Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's not that at all.

It's probably some severely autistic woman that was raised by adoptive Korean parents.

And went to Harvard and has never had a day off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it would be much more fun if it was like somebody they just took right off of like Maury or Jerry Springer and just was like put them in a spacesuit and sent him to the fucking moon next to a gay guy that they just pulled out of a club one night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the real what you want to watch.

And then you just get any captain of a football team, white guy, to go in and try and lead him and nobody gets along.

They really got to make sure they don't die on that trip.

Yeah, it would be tough because all the conspiracies will come out and be like, actually, one of the guys who worked on the space shuttle is a racist, homophobic piece of shit.

And he actually, a lot of people say he didn't screw it in tight enough so that they would die.

Well, yeah, well, I mean, they would just say Elon Musk.

Yeah, that's true.

They would just say because he built the rocket.

I'm sorry.

I told him no gays.

And you know what's funny?

That will happen

if this does blow up or something.

People will legitimately say that.

Think, like, they will honestly think that.

Yes.

That Elon Musk would spend billions of dollars building a rocket just to kill

one of each.

they believe that i well i watched people i watched a guy i was walking down the street and a cyber truck came down the street and i watched him fight his initial reaction because he was with his kid and he goes oh whoa look at that and his kid's like wow and he's like oh no something that's that's elon's we don't like that boo elon boo and i was like he did that yeah he did it right i was like he was like trying to get people around him to like boo the car i'm like for for what you can't just enjoy the fact that there's this crazy looking car driving down the street that looks like it shouldn't exist.

It looks really stupid.

It's silly, dude.

It's so silly to turn a trapezoid into a car and pretend it's awesome.

Well, it's like, it's taking, like, design cues from, like, outdated stealth technology.

Yeah, yeah.

It looks like the fucking Nighthawk.

Yeah, you know, and it's like, well, we don't even need to build

self-fighters that way anymore.

Right, right.

We don't.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So, but it was funny to watch the guy resist his initial reaction, be like, oh, that's cool that I'm seeing one of those.

But, oh, wait, we don't like that son to like adjust his morals just because he read an article about this guy that says he's racist or some shit.

Yeah, I'm not an EV guy.

I don't really like them.

I don't, I mean, I don't have one.

I drove a Tesla once.

I actually,

I accidentally shit myself while I was driving.

I was going, I was in a whole test drive.

No, it was a rental.

It was a rental, and I got like a free upgrade to get the tesla.

It was an amazing test drive.

The guy's next to you.

It's like, look at the screen.

It's 18 inches.

Yeah.

He's like, what's that smelling?

You're like, oh, it must be the electricity.

Yeah, I don't know.

The vents are whatever.

The batteries, probably.

I think it's lithium.

I use the auto-drive feature on the highway to wipe my ass.

What?

On the highway.

How does that work?

Like, I always carry some baby wipes in my

carry on while I'm traveling.

I've got a tire.

So I fucking have a lot of time.

I was on the highway, so I just put on the fucking self-drive mode.

It stays in the lane, and I'm fucking scooching the chair back, getting in there trying to Now, see, if you had died doing that, if there were like some fat white retard was wiping his ass and

died, then we could get away with killing a black lady on the moon.

Exactly.

There would be balance in the universe.

Right, exactly.

But since I lived,

Elon knows, we'll take one of theirs and we'll take one of ours.

Exactly.

Eye for an eye.

Yeah.

Right, right.

Yeah, no, luckily I lived.

You remember that story like now, 15 years ago, about the astronaut love triangle?

No.

There was two astronauts that were like married or something,

and then the male astronaut was having

an affair with a different lady astronaut, or maybe it was, like, one guy was fucking another guy's wife.

The whole point of the story is that one of the astronauts drove multiple states away to do this, like, quick overnight killing and get away with it so they would have, like, an alibi because there's no flight logs.

So they drove.

And to make the drive all in one shot, they wore their special like astronaut diaper so they could shit and piss themselves while driving.

Which it's like you had to get gas.

Yeah.

Yeah, you could have stopped.

Just leave the pump going.

Wear a mask and walk into the bathroom.

Yeah, right.

What are we talking about?

What a crazy solution.

Not only to go to kill somebody, but to kill somebody with a diaper full of shit is a pretty wild way to get your first murder done.

I'd want clean pants if I'm killing somebody.

I re-watched Apollo 13.

I think I said that at the beginning, but I put that on.

Oh, Apollo 13.

Yeah, somewhat recently.

Yeah.

It's a great movie.

That's great.

Tom Hanks is great in that.

Yeah.

It's one of those ones, too, where you, they really, I talk about things that are like earlier where we're like, oh, that was realistic and they did it right.

That was one where they stayed towards the realism and it actually, I liked it.

Oh, yeah.

Because it is kind of a documentary in a sense.

It's like that mockumentary feel where you're like watching through the whole thing.

Well, it is, yeah, because I watched it as a kid and you're like, oh, it's a story about a space flight going wrong and then they can't go to the moon.

That's sad.

Yeah.

But it is, I mean, it's better that that happened.

Totally.

The actual story is so much more impressive than going to the moon.

Yeah, and it does.

Building a junkyard spaceship, like, you know,

it's crazy.

And it does leave you like...

want like at that feeling in a movie you're like damn like that's what me makes a good movie is when like you feel like it's gonna go one direction and then it doesn't you're like oh that's fucking great like that's like you want them to land on the moon.

Even if you know the story or don't, you're like, oh, they're going to, they'll figure it out.

They'll get there.

They'll maybe they'll die on the moon, but they'll at least get to touch them.

And then he doesn't.

And he just has to live with the orbit and going back around.

I do like that in a movie where it doesn't just, and I think that's why I don't fuck with the Marvel movies as much, it just feels so cookie-cutter that, like, even when it's, oh, against all odds, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, the good guys win, you know?

Yeah, eventually, even if it takes two movies, eventually the good guys win.

Where I think some of the best movies is the good guys don't win, you know?

Like you look at that, uh, the Rogue One Star Wars movie.

It's like shit like that.

The Rogue One is that was that one in between?

That was the one in between.

That is the only Star Wars movie I like.

Yeah, exactly.

Because it ends with everybody fucking

everyone dies, and

they accomplish their mission, but you don't get to have that.

I've said that while he gets the girl normally, I've said that before.

That's the only Star Wars movie that I'm actually like, oh, yeah, this is.

Yeah, it's great.

And they came out with this.

I think the Andor series is similar to that as far as they fuck around a little bit more.

Now they've like,

I have no idea what's going on with it, I haven't paid attention at all, but like the Star Wars IP, they call it is so stupid to begin with totally that there's no way it is not absolutely fucking retarded.

Whatever you're doing has got to be terrible.

It gets really it's like every other show they put out as unwatchable, silly, like a 11-year-old girl is outrunning three grown men through the forest, like shit like that, where you're just like, man.

Coming up with aliens has got to be like the creative, like the laziest yeah creative work you can do yeah yeah coming up especially because anything prior to 1980 that was just like okay well this one's he's not chinese but he's chinese yeah this one's a chin

jewish yeah these are clearly the black guys yeah right

yeah

did that star wars didn't have black guys though uh not until the new era they had more to the black aliens well no they had oh no they had black eyes in fact the only science fiction yeah but he's a black man yeah he's a black guy yeah i don't i mean the only science fiction i can point at where there is a racial stereotype of an African-American that's like supposed to be an alien is the Transformers movies.

Okay.

It was like the two, like Doodoo and Mudflap.

Yeah.

There were like these two

clearly.

Their names were like Skid, Mark, and Cock Op.

And they had gold teeth and monkey ears.

And the teeth were like getting loose.

And they'll be like, damn, Bubble Bee, where'd you get them wheels?

And

I was shocked.

Yeah.

And it just.

Because the movie came out in like 2007.

Right.

And I was like,

we're about to have a black president.

Yeah, they were trying to squeeze one in before.

This is from like the 1940s.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's fun.

But I think with stuff like Transformers and Star Wars, they'd have so much, so many rules to follow when you're making a new one that you kind of have to, like, those guys are probably characters in some comic book or whatever.

People are watching this and they're saying, Jar Jar, what about Jar Jar?

Jar Jar is Caribbean.

Jar Jar is clearly Caribbean.

He's not an actor.

He's a Jar Jar Binks.

He's not.

He's not.

I know the Misa makes it a little bit kind of a slave thing, but he's supposed to be Caribbean.

Yeah, he's a water.

They live underwater.

He lives underwater.

He's got the style of like a Jamaican guy.

Yeah, yeah.

The floppy ears may as well be some dreads tied together in the back.

Yeah, exactly.

Right, right.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I'm trying to think.

They really don't have any.

No, I don't think so.

Not as far as you would be like, oh, that's definitely the fucking.

Like, what are they doing here?

In the the way that, like, Lando's co-pilot might be the worst of all of them.

Yeah.

That, like, the Vietnamese fish guy.

It's a pretty tough, dude.

That's a trap.

And that's the guy you take with you to blow up the Death Star.

Yeah.

You know, Ron's like, take my shit, but take care of her.

He's like, oh, no problem.

I'll find the most Chinese pilot I can.

Yeah, let's get incognito with this Chinese fish head pilot.

Oh, okay, okay.

That's all he says.

We are having a problem with that.

Okay, all good, all good.

Like, this guy's not Japanese?

Yeah,

yeah.

He's made of sushi.

This guy's not Japanese.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I don't think I can pinpoint any of them.

Yeah.

But that is, I mean.

Oh, I guess we should get plugs out of the way because I haven't been on the show in a while, so I don't know how the ticket sales are doing.

But I will be at Hyenas in Fort Worth

July 20, either the 26th, 27th, 28th, or 27th, 28th.

I don't know.

But it's a tiny room, and it's a lot of fun.

We had a lot of fun last year come out.

That's a show I'm looking forward to.

And then I will be in September at the Lincoln Theater in DC and the Wilbur in Boston one night before the other.

I can't remember the order.

You go to mole.dog slash live shows, live dash shows.

If you want to get tickets, I think those are close to sold out.

They're talking about adding a second show, but personally, I would like to cap it.

Have you done the Wilbur before?

I did the Wilbur last year.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, I'm I'm all over the road.

I'm doing Zaney's in Chicago, Comedy Vault out in Batavia, House of Comedy, Minnesota, and a bunch of other stuff.

So DrewDuncomedy.com for all the dates, at Drew Dunncomedy on socials for all the other content.

You do Acme.

I've done something like that.

No, I haven't done Acme.

Yeah, no,

the House of Comedy people have been really good to me, so I've just been doing their stuff.

But that said,

it's in the Mall of America, so it's a totally different.

I've been there.

I know, yeah, I've been to the Mall of America, and I've seen the club.

Yeah, I've heard great things about the Acme Club.

Acome's great, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

No, Minneapolis got a good comedy scene out there.

It's a great city.

I love it.

Especially if you go to Madison, you're right in the Midwest.

I was always sour on the Midwest, if only because it's like

it's just in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah.

But

especially, I mean,

talking to comics out there and them having to do eight-hour drives to do bar shows when you first get started is like crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Texas is like that, too.

Yeah, yeah.

I was in New England.

It was all two, three hours or less just to do everything.

But Minneapolis is a great city.

Yeah, I know.

I love it.

Yeah, it's great.

It is interesting.

It's a shame that the entire city was burned to the ground.

Yeah.

I was there shortly after that.

I was there in late 2021.

And dude, it was like, it was dystopian to a point where if you've ever been to the downtown Minneapolis with all the skyscrapers and shit like that, almost all of them have sky bridges connecting the thing.

And then you go down to the street and it's like a totally different world.

It really feels like, wow, the upper class, rich, working people up here, and then everybody else down on the street.

Oh, really?

I guess when I've been to Minneapolis, it's been such a ghost town downtown.

The first time I saw those sky bridges, I was like, let's go.

Because I'm an idiot.

So

when I go on tour, you know, it's like, oh, you should do something so that you don't get depressed in the hotel room.

Right, right.

But then the stuff I have an interest in doing is like, it's always dumb.

And I end up just like going to Barnes and Noble.

Right, right, right.

But I saw those sky bridges and I was like, let's fucking go, dude.

Yeah, no, it really, like, people will drive into this

city, park, get into their building, go to five other buildings, and never actually be in the city.

Yeah, but you have to know how to navigate them.

Because I did one Skybridge, and I ended up in a lobby with, like, five escalators nowhere.

Yeah.

And then it's like, it's all, and then you go in those places and all the stores are like.

like off-brand subway you're like in a GTA game right you know where it's like sonoros pizza yeah

yeah

places to buy stamps and me babies.

Yeah, companies that you're like, how are you still in business?

Like, what is the rent on this building that you're selling nine beanie babies a week and still paying rent?

Yeah, I was in Columbus in a big, or either Columbus or Cleveland or something.

I was in Ohio somewhat recently.

I forget, but I stayed in

like a hotel that had was like in one of those conference center hotels where it connects underground to all the other hotels.

Yeah.

The same thing.

Very depressing.

I really hate being in hotels away from home.

It's tough.

I mean, especially when you enjoy your life.

Like, if you like being home, you like being with your friends or family or whatever it is.

I love my apartment.

Yeah.

Like, you know,

I love being at home.

And that's like the other thing, too.

It's like, you know, I've been skipping the pod.

I've been doing like, I mean, I've been doing things, but just nothing publicly for like almost a month.

And it's the best I felt in a decade.

That's great.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, you got, I just took this whole past week off.

So like, I just took like 10 days, didn't do any stand-up, didn't fucking look at text messages or emails or anything like that.

I just fucking locked it away.

And because you can get so burnt out of anything.

And I think like for me, taking that time and coming back, I'm excited to do shows again.

I'm excited to write new jokes and do the whole thing where if you just stay in that day in, day out grind, like I think, sure, like that's the culture where you got to hustle, you got to work crap, blah, blah, blah, but you are squeezing a sponge with no fucking water left in it that you got to fucking fill that thing up every once in a while, you know, and you just go crazy.

Like, you don't have to have this hustle culture in comedy, you have to have moments where you can put it on and really drive the boat for a while, but then you also have to be able to like reset.

Yeah, well, it's the intersection of like everything is like

gig economy, and also you have to be like a fucking influencer or whatever.

I know, and it's

a lot more sell.

I don't like me, I don't like it.

I don't like who I am.

I don't want to have to sell that to people.

You know what I mean?

I don't want to have to put every one of my thoughts on the internet at the moment I have it and then just look like an idiot to me.

I used to sell shitty cell phones, and then I sold shitty cars, and now I'm selling a shitty person.

And it's the same feeling.

I just don't want to do it.

You can feel like you're getting one over on them.

Just don't buy it.

Just don't.

Yeah, right.

Just don't.

Go somewhere else.

Please leave T-Mobile.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you doing for lunch?

Nothing planned right now.

Just fun.

I'm going to try and get back in the gym.

I've had, I say that, you know, I mean, I did, I have, there's been a lot of,

there's been a thing I've been working on on a lot.

So I have, I've had like a three,

yeah, probably three weeks off from the gym now, and I'm disappointed because I finally got, like, I didn't think, I'm 35, so

I didn't think I'd be able to get a regular gym routine back in, and I did this year, and I feel good.

I got fatter, but I was also working out again.

Yeah, I do way better with the gym when I'm on the road.

Because, I mean, I was a...

Like, I played baseball my whole life, and I played, like, through college and stuff.

So I just got so burnt out of the workout regiment that, like, once I started working a desk job and doing comedy, which now I just do comedy, but the desk job is like death for your fucking job.

Going from being an athlete to like just wanting to get a cookie halfway through your day so you don't want to fucking jump out the window and kill yourself

was like a hard transition.

Yeah, I mean, that's like stand-up and podcasting might be like the least physically active job.

You have to force yourself to do it.

And that's for me: I know I'll feel better after I work out.

Yeah.

Whether it's, I got a bike, so like I'll bike around.

That'll be a good workout.

Just go to the park and do that.

But yeah, it's hard, man.

I have to really force myself to fucking do that shit, but

I'm way better on the road.

If there's a hotel gym, I'm there.

To have to go and put all my shit on and walk to the park or go, you know, five blocks.

I have a lifetime fitness membership, and that helps a lot because they have a lot of, like, they have a sauna.

It's nice.

Oh, that's great.

Love a sauna.

When I would go, I would take Racine on the road.

We would go out together, and then we would do the hotel gym sometimes.

Yeah.

Mike's going to get mad that I fucking said, but it's very fun.

He'd be like, yeah, thinking about maybe hitting the hotel gym.

I go down there with him, and he would have his

ill-fitting workout clothes.

Yeah, that were from

two mics ago.

Yeah, just his Homer Simpson body.

I'm like, you're making me feel worse about exercise.

I don't like one of the.

If this is what it leads to, let's just stop now.

No, Mike's, he's in great shape.

No, I love it.

His clothes look good.

Yeah, he looks great.

Love Mike.

Shout out, Mike Racine.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

I don't know.

The fitness stuff is fun.

It's like, I get in a routine.

I get locked into stuff.

And then once I break it, I get it.

When was the last time you've played baseball?

And I mean, in any regard, like batting cages.

I actually,

I just went to the batting cages for the first time in a while

when I was in Colorado.

We went and did like some, you know, mini golf with a couple of my buddies that live out there, and they had like the little fucking put a quarter in, throw 10 pitches at you kind of thing, and that was fun.

Before that,

there's this adult men's league.

Once they do, they play every Sunday up in New England.

So, if I'm up there doing shows, I'll link up with them.

I've played like one game a year with them over the last few years, kind of thing.

And that's fun, but my body.

It's really hard on your body?

Because I was a catcher for most of it.

So that's what I like to do.

I enjoy doing that, putting the gear on, calling the game, and talking shit to the batters and the umpire and shit.

That wrecks me.

My knees, my hips are fucking

ruined.

I got a bag of balls

two years ago, and then me and Adam and some other people, we just went out to Prospect Park.

Just did like home run derby.

That's fun.

The next day,

I feel like however the bones between your forearm and your upper arm connect, it was separated.

It's like

just from

throwing the ball around because it's like this novel movement, you know, that in your head, you're like, yeah, I did this when I was eight.

Totally.

But you also forget how sore your arm was back then.

If it was your first if you're in the routine of it, you get used to it.

But if you go pitch a hundred pitches, your arm's fucked.

Yeah, I feel like it's my, yeah, the the the the connective tissue is dried out.

But the flip side of that is also you're like, I am a much stronger as an adult than I was.

So totally.

You do things with way more force.

So

it's not even, you know.

Yeah, for me, it was like my arm was always my like a strength I had.

I was I struggled to be a good enough hitter to like play the at the next level.

But I had like I had like flavors of or tastes of trying to go pro with it.

Like when I was in high school, I would I would bullpen catch for the Toronto Blue Jays double-A team, which was cool in New Hampshire.

So I'd go from my high school practice, go up to the stadium, change in the fucking utility closet, and then go sit out in the bullpen and talk with the guys and warm dudes up before they went into the to the game and shit.

So that got me a little bit of tension on like the scouting side of stuff, but I was just never a good enough hitter to to hit at that next level.

So halfway through college, I switched from catching to pitching, and that just fucked my arm up.

I just sent it because it's a whole different motion.

You go from throwing like this to like that.

What is it about pitching that all pitchers end up needing surgery at some point?

Is it the mechanics of the movement?

If you don't learn proper mechanics early on, you're just putting pressure on some point in your body that's going to fuck it up.

And it's just repetition.

Especially in my generation coming up, it's like now it's all pitch counts.

Like when you were in Little League now, now, if you watch the Little League World Series, they all have pitch counts.

So like the pitcher is not allowed to throw more than 75 pitches.

He has to be pulled out after that.

Back in my day, there was kids throwing 120 pitches, 150 pitches a game just because they were the coach's son or the best kid on the team or whatever.

And then that kid needs Tommy John surgery by the time he's fucking, you know, 15.

Yeah.

And what do they actually do with that?

They reinforce a ligament into it.

They take something from your ankle or your knee or something and they put another ligament into your elbow.

Yeah, it's an elbow elbow thing.

My problem that I had was my shoulder.

So because it was a different arm motion and I was going from throwing like, you know, 20 hard throws a day down to second base to, you know, 100 per day.

I basically just started having this like shooting pain come down my arm when I'd warm up and then it would go away and I'd be like, all right, that's fine.

And it would get worse and worse.

It would take longer and longer to go away.

And then my velocity was going from like, you know, high 80s, low 90s to like, you know, low 80s.

I just couldn't throw the ball hard anymore.

Go to the PT people and all that.

And basically my back muscles were wearing out, so it was no longer holding my shoulder blade against my back.

Those muscles wear out because they're tired.

Scapular dystrophy, is it?

Something like that.

And it puts all the stress on your tendon.

So there's like four major tendons that connect all that.

And I could feel them.

They were so swollen.

I could pick them out individually.

It was wild.

And then I had the option, I was going into my, it was like fall of my senior year of college.

I just transferred from a D3 school to a D2 school.

And I had the option to like red shirt for a year, do another year of college, which I already knew I wasn't going to use my fucking dumbass marketing degree because I was going to school to play baseball.

That was the objective.

And then

had the choice, yeah, red shirt or just quit, and then just said, fuck it, quit.

And started doing stand-up like two, three weeks later, something like that.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Very nice.

Yeah.

You got to be careful of those novel movements in your 30s.

Totally.

I did the same thing happened.

I went to Dave and Busters and just did the, whatever, the super shot or whatever the fuck it is.

And then, yeah.

And I was younger, too, at the time.

I think I was like 26.

It's funny because Dave and Buster's got me too because they have the fast pitch thing there where you can just throw the ball down the little tube and stuff.

And I remember waking up the next day, I'm like, what the fuck happened to my arm?

And it was just, yeah, it's just from that.

Yeah, just 12 basketball shots.

Yeah, because I mean, I would stay in the gym.

I've been in the gym mostly, like, through my adulthood.

But it's the motions that you don't normally do that fuck you up.

Yeah, so if you're only, you know, lifting weights a certain way over and over again.

Because I'll do that.

I'll go go play like long toss with my buddy and just play catch, and then the next day your arm just feels like it's a thousand pounds, like there's nothing you can do.

What I did for a while,

there was a Boston Comedy co-ed softball league when I was coming up, which was fun.

So it was all the comics from the New England scene would just come together.

We had like five or six teams.

We'd all just go play together on Tuesday nights.

That was fun.

Slow pitches, I can still get into a little bit.

Because you can just fucking whack the ball.

There's no pressure.

What really amazes me, and I don't think this is a thing anymore.

This was more of like a Brooklyn thing maybe 10, 15 years ago.

But like the guys that moved to Brooklyn to get a job at Vice

who would have their midlife crisis and then start skateboarding again.

Oh, that's crazy.

And I'm like, you're begging for something.

Yeah, your knees are going to go.

Your ankles.

Something's going to explode and you're not going to be able to be back on the board in three weeks like you were when you were a kid.

This could be a life-changing injury for you at this point when you're, you know, high 30s, low 40s, and you're fucking dropping 10 feet just so you can hit the rail or watch this, dude.

Like, you're fucked.

What's the point?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get if it's fun,

you're doing little things here and there, you're fucking around hitting little rails and shit, but to go to like a skate park and try and hit a half pipe when you're in your 40s is so crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know how they do it.

But I mean, I guess like, what?

Tony Hawk still skateboards and he's 75 years old.

Yeah, how many dudes do you think thought they were going to get the video game by now?

You know, like

they were going to do a different one?

Yeah, well, they thought like maybe, all right, Tony Hawk will have his era and then I'll finally, it'll be fucking Bob Bernquist It's so funny because that's just the parallels between that and comedy.

That's the most depressing thing about there's never been more opportunity but it's also it's like every new opportunity has like such a small window.

There's like a million tiny windows.

Totally.

Well our celebrities don't fucking die anymore.

They all get healthy and try to live to be 150 years old.

Well that's that was the other problem too.

Like this is more of a problem prior like 10 years ago in comedy was that you look at I mean still some clubs now you look at their calendar and these are the same comics you were booking every year 15 years ago.

Right.

Now, I'm not going to make an argument because those guys got bills to pay.

You know, like, oh, well, kick them out and get somebody new in.

Especially if the somebody new is going to be, like, the, I guess now, like the, there's, like, some girl that went viral for talking about how she fucks or something.

Sure.

And now they're, like, booking her to do an hour in comedy clubs.

Yeah.

And it's like, that is a level even beyond the TikTok thing because it's like, this was just someone that was caught in a viral moment.

Right.

Like, the the TikTok people, at least they've been producing content.

Right.

They've been go on stage and say, hey, remember this video that I did, or let's watch them.

Yeah.

Now it's like, hey, I'm the person from the article.

Totally.

Like, how long till the Haktua girl's putting out a fucking shit?

That's what I mean.

That's who's doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

It's great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but at the same time, it's a business.

It's all money.

They're just trying to, they're like, oh, we're just trying to get eyes on this.

And we can say we had the Haktua girl.

I'm not saying that.

And I'm not saying, like, oh, don't book her over me.

Sure, sure.

But,

you you know,

it comes down to the agents, really.

The agents, it's the salesman that's going, like, we can make some fucking money off this thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Fuck Nick, let's get her in.

I'm just trying to make a counter-argument to saying, you know, talking about clubs still booking the old comics and never get out.

But with the window thing, it's like, you know, it was podcasting.

Like, when we had success with Cometown, people would be like, what'd you do?

And I'd be like, I'm going to be completely honest with you.

I have no idea.

Right, right.

I don't know.

And anybody that tells you to know is what they did, they don't.

It's like, you know.

They're looking backwards and figuring out what they, they'll be like, oh, yeah, that's what we have.

In the moment, you're rarely that calculated.

When you still talk to agents, and they'll be like, you got to be doing crowd work clips.

And it's like, no, you don't.

No, you don't.

The guys that figured out the crowd work, there's like, that's, you know, they got it.

They got their market.

One or two more.

You might have a clip go viral or two, but that doesn't mean it's going to change your bottom line or your ticket sales.

Like, yeah, totally.

Yeah.

And it is.

It's about, I mean, we talked about this a little bit, but it's like, you got to just put your head down and make what you're going to make anyway.

And hope there's enough people that enjoy what you make that it turns into a career.

and if not be funny enough that you can do cruise ships until you die or kill yourself you know like that's yeah my thing is more i would rather yeah do the stuff i enjoy and then if it's not lucrative then you know i mean i don't even know what it would look like but i i would rather just go get a day i would rather hate the thing that i'm doing if i have there was no possibility that i should ever like it so you'd rather like instead of like having to do you know live in vegas for like five years or something like that because you got some show going on you'd rather like yeah go work i would literally rather stay here and just work production on commercials yeah yeah yeah yeah that makes sense yeah especially when you can have an actual career like that on the back end rather than like having to go work at best i did it i pa'd but through doing this i've like met enough people and like i have enough knowledge that you know my i could that those jobs don't pay bad working production on commercials there's always plenty of work and they would pay the bills it's yeah no that's hopefully i don't have to do that but you know yeah that's always the goal but it is nice to have a baseline and i think i think that both like that motivates me to want to work harder knowing that the alternative is not what I want that was actually kind of when I started because I used to I would like PA on commercials I would just drive camera trucks and stuff yeah, and the guy I worked with the guy who got me into it He he was a comic he moved to New York to do comedy but PA and can actually be fun especially on commercials because it's like

The investment is low.

Commercials are shot in three to five days.

Right.

And it's a very fast-paced work environment.

Everyone there

is essential, more or less.

I mean, you know, people count on you.

So it does, for those three to five days, you're like, yeah, let's get this done.

Let's work hard.

Let's, you know, and you can see the end of the road of it right there rather than just like long productions, 12-hour days of nothing.

And it is fun, and it's always different.

And it's like, you know, even though they're commercials, it's like, oh, sometimes there's like a celebrity or, you know, you're working on this.

You're watching, especially, you know, like the grips or the camera department figure out some kind of creative solution to something.

It's cool to watch.

It's different problems every day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the trap with that, especially, because I would recommend it to other comics, I'm like, look, this is good.

It pays $200, $250, sometimes $300 a day.

At the time, my rent was nothing.

It was like, I was paying $4.50 a month.

Amazing.

And so, you know, it's like I'd work six, seven days a month, and my rent would be covered.

And then, you know, everything else is bonus.

Right, right.

And

because it's fun and there is a path forward to move up, it's like I knew at the time, it's like

I can't allow myself to move up because then you're trapped.

Then I'm, yeah, you're just, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I feel that.

I have to, I mean, going from baseball to this, I function working towards some impossible dream that I need to have that be my thing.

Because if I just go, oh, I just got to do this job for 25 years and then I can retire and chill, like, I'll go crazy.

I can't function that way.

I have to be scheming and trying to figure out a path through something

to achieve, hopefully, something new, something fun, something exciting that I'm not just locked in like everybody else.

Yeah, that's the right mentality to have.

And then I think broadly, I think that's probably how everybody works.

I think a lot of people,

I think that, but I do think a lot of people, I don't know if they're tricking themselves or if they just have a, they're a little differently wired up there, but they can lock into their job.

They find passion and love in their job as remedial and pointless as it can be.

They find joy in the relationships of their coworkers and things like that, that they can actually find true happiness the way that I feel satisfaction in pursuing this.

They can find that satisfaction.

But that's what I mean.

Oh,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I mean, it's like those people aren't settling for, because there's people that find that being a social media manager, you know, and so like you talk, you talk, I've met social media managers, and not so much anymore, but like, you know, maybe 10 years ago, and

you talk to them, and they would all be like, it's actually really exciting, you know, engagement and figuring out what works and getting people to engage with stuff.

Right.

In your head, you're like, oh, you must be lying to yourself, but no, they really believe it.

No, they really do have a passion for that, finding out that that's their puzzle.

If our puzzle is trying to figure out how to make something funny or great, their puzzle is how do we optimize this or make it look right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that being said,

anything else you want to plug?

Social media stuff?

No, yeah, just follow me online on social media at Drew Duncomedy.

I post new videos every week.

Crowd work, jokes, podcast shit, all that.

Yeah, come see me live.

I'm touring them for most of the summer, and then I got my first kid coming in October.

Congratulations.

Figure it out for you.

A You're a girl.

Girl.

Okay.

Yeah.

And you're deciding that.

You're not.

Yeah, I'm letting her know.

You're a sinister person.

I'm raising, hopefully, a lesbian.

So you could say, you could make the claim that you are an abusive father.

So far, yeah.

I'm really fucking her up so far.

I'm whispering all sorts of hate speech through the belly.

You haven't named that.

Yeah, I don't know if I want to tell people it.

Oh, that's okay.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to.

No, no, that's fine.

I just, I don't.

I told my parents, and then they got a dog and named it like sorta close.

That's so annoying.

And I'm like, what the fuck, fuck, dudes?

Like, and my parents buy a new dog every they have like six dogs right now.

They raise seven kids.

They finally have like two kids left in the house and they buy six dogs.

And then you tell me the dog's name is Spot.

Yeah.

And I'm like, well, come on.

Yeah.

Well, I was going to name the kids Spot.

Nobody's doing it.

Her name was going to be Spot.

No, they named the dog Ollie.

Ollie.

And the girl's, my daughter's.

The girl's name is Tony Hawk.

It's Tony Hawk.

Yeah.

Because I wanted her to be fucking cool.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah, I understand.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah, no, so I'm excited for that.

I'm excited to be a dad, man.

That's cool.

Next stage of life.

And for me, too, it's like when you're doing this world, the creative world, I always felt like choosing this path was holding up the rest of my life as far as like, I can't afford to do this, I can't afford to do that.

And now to have things come together enough where I can have a kid and feel like I'm not fucked is exciting.

That's awesome, dude.

That's good to hear.

It's more, yeah, that's the right path.

Yeah, yeah.

Congratulations.

Appreciate that, dude.

Hell yeah.

Well,

try to stay cool this summer, guys.

Heat stroke is not a joke.

It's real.

Yeah.

And until we can figure out how to get to Antarctica and colonize it, we're fucked.

But yeah, thanks.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, Drew.

Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

Good night.

It is Ryan Seacrest here.

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