The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Brace Belden - Episode 49

It's time to head back to school and forward to your future with Carrington College.

For over 55 years, we've helped train the next generation of healthcare professionals.

Apply now to get hands-on training from teachers with real-world experience.

In as few as nine months, you could start making a difference in healthcare.

Classes start soon in Pleasant Hills, San Leandro, and San Jose.

Visit Carrington.edu to see what's next for you.

Visit Carrington.edu slash SCI for information on program outcomes.

From Australia to San Francisco, Cullin Jewelry brings timeless craftsmanship and modern lab grown diamond engagement rings to the US.

Explore solitaire, trilogy, halo and bezel settings or design a custom piece that tells your love story.

With expert guidance, a lifetime warranty and a talented team of in-house jewels behind every piece, your perfect ring is made with meaning.

Visit our Union Street showroom or explore the range at colournjewelry.com.

Your ring your way.

A happy Friday, everyone, and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

Today, we're talking high-value men.

We got a girl from OnlyFans here.

You want to introduce yourself?

My name is Brace, one of the top prostitutes in America, and it is a pleasure to be here.

I've known Adam mostly through him paying to have sex with me.

And so

it's, frankly, I can see you at work like this.

It's really something else.

It's weird.

It's weird like running into someone from work, basically.

Like, because we don't really talk about what we do on the weekends, more of a physical thing.

It's completely.

And Adam gives himself, I would kill myself.

You know how some people have sex with their friends?

Yeah.

Like guys are like doing MMF threesome with their friends.

Yeah, yeah, a devil's three-way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Insane to me.

Oh, that's crazy.

I mean, and you know, it's a generational thing.

Like, like, all the guys I know in their 20s.

Because for our generation, we're around the same age.

Yeah, Yeah.

we're in our 30s.

So in our generation, we're like two chicks at the same time.

That's the ultimate.

The threesome is two girls

from

the neighboring sorority in the fraternity house bathroom.

They caught you peeping through a hole in the locker room.

They drag you in.

And then they see you and they're like,

they put their cocks through the.

Well,

they put one nipple in.

Yeah, it's kind of a porky situation.

But nowadays, like all my friends in their 20s, they exclusively do the devil's three-way, which is crazy.

I can think of few things that I would desire less than to hear like the grunt of an orgasm.

Not the grunt.

What really would nauseate me the most is the slapping, the balls slapping.

Like let's say we're doing the classic Eiffel Tower, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And

she's giving you top class dome.

So I'm getting received.

You're getting you're getting oral sex.

And then I'm...

Yes.

okay, so like I'm then I'm behind doing doggy fashion with the guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's slapping of my testicles against her.

It's face-to-face.

Yes.

Okay, but

as we know, the rules are, and we would stipulate the rules beforehand, that it's gay, right?

If we make eye contact, right?

Every guy knows that.

Okay.

We avert our eyes.

This is heterosexual unless there is any type of eye contact between the two of us.

I just, I feel like I'd be fine avoiding your eyes, but hearing the balls slapping in a doggy-style situation would be truly revolting to me.

I would just, I would feel like I'd have to immediately look at the hard penis of you.

Yeah, of course.

Because I'd be like, what am I doing?

And how could you not do that?

Exactly.

So at that point,

that's the first thing I'd be curious.

If I found out that your dick was twice the size of mine,

and then I proceeded, I would kill myself.

I would kill myself.

If you and I were having sex with some bimbo,

and

we're in the penthouse.

She's smart, though.

She's really funny.

She's smart.

And she's fucking funny.

That's why she's doing this with us.

You know what?

She's a consultant and a project manager.

Yeah, yeah.

And she's got a real job.

For the

government or the

economy.

Google some shit like that.

But the first thing that I would do is we're in this penthouse.

I would have to look at your fucking cock.

We're in Miami.

Oh, my God.

You see?

There's a balcony.

You know those Miami apartments, they all have those balconies?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If your dick was twice the size, I would jump.

Easy.

Easy.

Or I'd push you.

You'd push me.

If your penis was larger than mine, I might attack you.

If your dick was twice the size, I would dangle you by the ankle, shook nights up.

But it's almost gayer to, if we have the same size cock, to feel good about that.

If we have the same size cock, then that is homosexual.

Do you think we do?

Probably.

Personality-wise, we probably do.

Yeah, that is a big judgment.

Not a judgment.

That's a big factor.

We act the way we do because of the size because it's it's it's like pretty small but the personality gets you can kind of make I would not have any semblance of a personality if my penis was a like even a quarter inch bigger oh my god if I could just if I was I would be one of those guys who'd walk I'd be a flasher yes

I wouldn't know no I wouldn't even be a flasher I wouldn't get out of bed No, I would just look at it all day long.

I'd be like, oh my God.

And I'd be like, God,

genuinely, if I had a giant penis, I'd I'd probably be gay.

Of course.

Right?

Is that maybe why people do that?

I can only fuck women because I have a tiny dish.

Because they don't know.

If I was above 160 pounds, I would be a homosexual.

Really?

Because that's my weight class.

I can only go to combat with a woman.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

If we're thinking of this in MMA context, when I was in Australia on tour with Nick and Stav,

there was,

they went to go get food, and I was like, I jet lagged, so I like went to, I was like, I'm just gonna sleep.

And then there was a fire alarm, and I see these two, like, it's a country of bros, yeah, like Sydney.

So I see these two bros, like, uh, we're in like an apartment building, like a fucking pimp, like loft pant.

The people who booked our tour, we made zero money on the tour because

they kept putting us in like Wall Street money, never sleeps

apartments.

Oh, by the way, Pete, let me know at 15, okay?

And so

there are these two just fucking, like,

they had to be like 6'6 ⁇ , 240, just like the perfect male physique and like bros.

Yeah.

Absolute bros.

Just like dressed like fucking bros.

Yeah.

And they like, obviously, they had to leave their apartment because of a fire alarm.

I had to leave the apartment because of a fire alarm.

I'm sitting outside.

I'm like jet lagged as shit.

And I see these guys.

I'm like, these guys are fucking like, these guys are like rugby player bros.

Yeah.

And then I see one of them has this like tiny chihuahua and he's like, oh my God, how long is this going to last?

And I was like, oh,

they're gay.

They're gay.

But then I realized kind of like immediately, I was like,

first of all, the sex that those guys are having with each other, the athleticism, the tenets.

It's just a different,

it's a completely different experience.

Those guys are going for 11 hours a day, and

they're doing like the most artistic.

Yeah.

They're like doing,

I mean, they're bending in shapes that you and I couldn't even comprehend.

There is an athleticism and a tenacity on display.

Like, they're in peak athletic form.

But, like, they wouldn't have the option of having sex with 120-pound woman.

Like,

they would kill her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They would kill.

Like, literally,

because of evolution.

They only have one option.

That's to fuck.

Be gay.

To be gay with that.

That's right.

Like, warriors are often homosexual.

Yeah, that's why Spartans are doing it.

It's because they can't.

They understand that they're now in just a different class of fucking.

Actually, I got into an argument the other day with a friend, right?

It was like 10 p.m.

on a Wednesday.

And you're like, we should have this.

And we're like, you know, we're already best friends.

Why don't we?

Yeah, let's just do it.

My friend's dad said that to him.

He was like, he's like, you ever fuck a guy?

Like, recently.

Oh, interesting.

And he's like, no.

And his dad was like, what?

Like, he thought his son was gay, or is that he himself had gay?

No, he's like, He's like, Did you?

And he's like, Oh, yeah.

Have you ever?

No.

Would you?

No.

But, like, what circumstances?

There is a circumstance in which you would.

I don't think so.

What if a guy?

I'm a coward.

Yeah.

To be honest, it's because here's the thing.

I'm too scared.

We would both probably.

We're both gay guys.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm getting

in a

contest to see who's the most gay guy.

You're a low-value gay guy.

I'm one of the most low-value guys

in existence.

But,

but I feel like I would like, if I was having sex with a guy, I'd be like, this is gay.

Yeah, I'd be like, this is fucking gay.

But I don't think gay guys think that.

No, I think they're like, this is sex.

Yeah, they're like, I'm fucking, I'm,

you know, I'm like,

maximum.

This is so much fun, man.

Well, I don't even know, dude.

It's all guys, dude.

It's like...

All guys.

Heterosexual sex has an evolutionary aspect to it, right?

Like, so even if you're wearing a condom or pulling out, your boner is trained to do that because of, like, you want to

God.

Yeah, yeah.

Because God wants us to have kids.

Yeah.

But, like, if like,

homosexual sex is the purest form of sex because it is pure.

It's for sport.

We're just rocking it.

It is.

It is the only.

It is the purest rec.

We're not actually having recreational sex with women.

No, I'm certainly not.

I'm not having.

It's not recreational.

It's never been fun.

I'm crying.

I say I love you.

you.

I'm sorry.

I kiss.

I say, I love you.

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

No, do you do that too?

Where you apologize or kiss?

I bust and I'm like, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm always like, did you like it?

What did you think?

I always, so what I do is the second thing.

How was it?

The second I finish, I kind of curl up on the side of the bed like this and I say, well, what did you think?

Yeah, yeah, I put my legs like this.

I do this, and I'm like,

you're fucking beautiful.

Do you do the thing where you kiss a girl?

You're like, what are we even doing?

Yeah, yeah.

Or in the morning, you're like across from a girl and you're just like, sorry, she's asleep and you're like looking at her.

She kind of like opens her eyes slowly.

You're like, sorry.

Do you do a thing where you kiss a girl and then you say, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills?

No, I

kiss a girl and I'm like, I feel like you're taking crazy pills.

Because what do you see in a girl?

Yeah, what do you see in me?

What do you see in me?

Disgusting.

Have another drink, but what do you see in me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you see in me?

Have another pill.

Yeah.

No.

Absolutely.

No, well, this is crazy you mentioned this because prior to starting recording, OJ, the OJ news.

It rocked our world.

But it also, it got Adam talking about Cosby, and thank God this was not rocked.

I don't want that on the record.

No, but OJ, we talked to your father prior to this.

We talked to my dad.

My dad actually thought O.J.

Simpson was innocent during the trial.

Yeah.

And that's not a joke.

He was like adamant that O.J.

Simpson was innocent.

He thought the same way that Mark Furman

planted evidence and tried to destroy a black man, that people had done similar things to him.

Perhaps, you know,

I think that's what I think he projected.

He sees himself on O.J.

Simpson.

Yeah, I think he projected, you know,

he ran 2,000 yards a season.

My dad,

you know,

has also probably ran in his life.

Yeah, he's run.

Yeah, he ran from Africa.

Once

on foot.

Yeah,

once things changed.

Wait, no, no, then, come on.

He ran as fast as he could.

So I called my dad and was like, I was wondering if he still thought OJ was innocent.

And his excuse was like, can we just let this go?

Can society just

let it go?

Can

people stop talking about this?

And I thought it was kind of like an actual, it was pretty noble of my dad.

It was a sweet, tender conversation.

He said,

he's a very sweet man.

But however, at one point he did say it was probably the son, and then at the end he's like, well, when you asked if they're in heaven together, he was like, well, he did kill her.

And that's the thing.

It's like,

I never understood this.

If she's in heaven, which is paradise,

then it's okay for him to have killed her because he hastened her journey to the forever thereafter.

Right.

Like, that's what I don't understand.

If heaven rocks, which it probably, it has to, bro.

right.

Yeah, yeah.

If heaven's good, then what's wrong with killing your

like saintly wife who goes to heaven?

Well, the worst, I don't know about that, but I do know that if I was in love with a woman, right?

If let's say I'm in love with my wife and then she tragically dies, and I live like for 30 years after her, I'm not talking about OJ.

Yeah, but it could have OJ could have done.

Yeah, it could have been if he let's say she dies and I live another 30 years and she's the love of my life.

I can't remarry.

Yeah.

Right.

And then I get to heaven and I'm like, I'm going to see her again.

And she's there.

And she's just, she had a boyfriend I didn't know about.

Oh, like that.

And she's also dead.

Yeah.

And they've been fucking and now they can finally be together.

Yeah.

I guess it's

a guarantee you can be with your wife in heaven.

Yeah.

That's the truth.

Could you kill your wife then?

Could you kill her again?

Well, let's not say I killed her.

Let's say she got cancer.

But would it be okay?

What the fuck are you going to do in heaven?

If she's with someone.

She's with someone.

Or it was not even an ex-boyfriend.

She just met some guy.

That's what I'm saying.

She gets with Mozart.

She starts dating Mozart.

She's getting plowed by Mozart.

It's been 30 years.

She's like, oh, hey.

And you get in the Pearly Gates the first half of the day.

How do you know she's been waiting for you?

Mozart, Bach, and your wife in a devil's threesome.

Well, that's kind of gay.

I know.

Well, you're with these gay guys.

Exactly, but it doesn't matter.

She's like, they're European.

What do you do with that?

I was laughing to myself the other day about you walk in on your girlfriend.

She's, she's blowing a guy.

And you're like,

no, listen.

And then you're like, Stephanie, like, what the hell is going on?

She's like, you don't, it's not what it looks like.

And then you're like, it's exactly what it fucking looks like.

She's like, listen, Adam, we need to talk.

I was like, I think we do.

And then I like sit her down, like, and the guy's sitting there.

Yeah.

And I'm like,

I had no idea you were fucking gay this whole time.

What?

What are you talking about?

Because she's sucking a bit.

Okay, she's sucking a dick.

It would actually, I'll say this.

You've been lying to me this whole time about being gay.

And then I have like a come to Jesus moment.

Yeah.

And I'm like, you know what?

I've made a lot of fucked up homophobic comments around you.

And you've probably been in pain.

And I got to look at myself in the mirror and see what I've done to lead you to this secret life.

Why you're doing that?

Like, I catch you sucking this gay guy's dick.

Yeah.

This is one of the gayest guys I've ever seen in my entire life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know.

So, you know what?

If I love you, I got to let you go.

Yeah.

Live your lifestyle.

You're going to go to leather clubs.

You're going to be a dom.

You're going to get fat, the hair ones.

You might be a bear.

You might be an otter.

Yeah.

But you know what?

You need to go on your journey.

Because you're fucking gay.

You're fucking gay away with you, my dear.

It's okay.

I would be.

Listen, I've been cheated on before.

Oh, me too, bro.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Yeah.

And, sorry, I need a second.

But I've never been able to walk in on somebody doing it.

Oh, yeah.

It's always just been like,

well, you know how it goes.

Where is she tonight?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Where is she tonight?

But I've always wanted to walk in on somebody somebody and be like, what's going on?

Yeah.

Freak out on them.

Is it in a legal context if you commit a murder?

I think there's something about that.

So would it be okay to kill a woman if you walked in on her committing an act of attack?

I think what needs to happen then is you just start fucking the guy.

Actually, Brace, let me stop you right there because I want to talk about a product called Fume.

Okay.

You ever try to break a bad habit?

You were a drug addict.

I was.

I was an intravenous drug user for many years.

You did heroin?

Yes.

And methamphetamine.

Okay, so you are a person that's familiar with trying to break a bad habit.

Yes.

And you were like a rent boy?

You did like rent boy colours?

I was more to own.

Oh, to own.

Yeah.

What does that mean?

I was a slave.

Oh, okay.

A slave to the drug or a slave?

No, no, I was a slave to an elderly gentleman who lived in the Berkeley Hills for like four or five years.

Okay.

And what did you have to do for it?

It was just like butler stuff, but I had sex with him sometimes.

Was it like, did you have to wear like a bikini while you were...

No, he didn't find me attractive.

It was just kind of a slave situation.

So I just, I wore like regular clothes.

clothes you didn't have to like feather like dust no i i did have to do that but it wasn't like a sex thing i was really just genuinely i was dusting his butt i wore like a potato sack and like uh and like i did kind of like uh like the house elf in harry potter yeah exactly and i did wear like sheer tights and stuff like that and pumps did you sing spirituals while you were in in slavery i thought it well i tried to at first of course he was a he was a professor of sociology at UC Berkeley and so he was like

I like that and he liked that I knew a lot of like folkways stuff etc cetera.

But he said that if some of his students overheard me.

Appropriate.

Appropriative.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You felt in the past, like, when you're trying to break the bad habit, that you're

climbing Everest in flip-flops.

That was almost exactly what it felt like.

Yeah, and we've been there too.

But there's a breath of fresh air, and that is fume.

So let me give this to you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, you want to open this up?

So, fume takes your habit and

simply makes it better, healthier, and a whole whole lot more enjoyable.

Fume is an innovative, award-winning, flavored air device that does just that.

Instead of vapor, fume uses flavored air.

Instead of electronics, fume is completely natural.

And instead of harmful chemicals, fume uses delicious flavors.

You get it.

Instead of bad, fume is good.

It's a habit you're free to enjoy.

It makes replacing your bad habits easy.

Your fume comes with an adjustable airflow dial and is designed with movable parts and magnets for fidgeting.

So, yeah, actually, you want to take that?

Put that core in your fume.

Everything is all natural, so

there's no

deadly chemicals.

It's just flavored air.

So you put it in.

Okay, and these are heavy-duty.

But see, when you do that twist, that's like a nice fidget.

It is.

Nothing's.

Yeah, it's flavored air.

Nothing's happening.

It's flavored air.

It's flavored air.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There's...

Is it supposed to be like...

You can't use a word that starts with S.

No, I know that, but

is it like electronic or is it just purely...

No, it's a completely analog thing.

It uses great materials.

Look at that wood.

Okay.

The taste, think of a refreshing herbal tea.

If vapor...

was compared to sticky soda fume flavors would compare to herbal tea not as sweet with a lot and a lot more natural Okay, the first time I tried it, I thought it was more flavorable than I was expecting, and it felt very fresh, doesn't it?

Is there supposed to be like a vapor that comes out?

No, no, sorry, no, there is not.

You can use that word.

There is no vapor, it's just a

natural pour.

I'm using this right, you're using it right, but you can adjust the airflow in the bottom by twisting it.

So you see, it's like it's like a, yeah, you can choke it down, get a little bit of resistance there.

It's weighted, it's perfectly balanced, it's extremely fun to fidget with.

And look how beautiful the real wood and shape is.

You feel cool using it.

Plus, Fume just released a magnetic stand for your Fume.

So there's no more losing it around the house.

It's built with fidgeting in mind, and you can spin your Fume around on it.

Start your year off right, guys.

Here's a call to action: the good habit by trying by going to Fume.

And

the website, folks, is try Fume.

T-R-Y-F-U-M

dot com/slash T-A-F-S, and you get your journey pack 10% off.

Fume is giving listeners of this show 10% off when you use my code T-A-F-S to help make the good habit that much easier.

Okay, guys, thanks a lot.

Fume.

Brace, you love it?

Yeah, it's good.

It's really good.

Yeah, I like it a lot.

It's really good.

I really like it.

I'm just saving it for later.

What were we talking about?

Okay, so I was at my friend's house 10 p.m.

on a Wednesday, right?

Respect.

And then I had a question.

Late night.

One of us was like,

how many gay men do you think in New York City at that moment were engaged in

sex with one another?

My friend, he opened by saying 300.

And then he 300 so small.

And then he qualified by saying 300

sex sessions.

So like 900 guys.

So it could be 900, anywhere between 600 and 900 guys, right?

You could have a train running situation.

And of course, this is also qualified by like this is not, this is, this is anal sex, okay?

So which is obviously takes a lot more preparation, takes like a lot more,

you know, like

you oral sex, from what I understand from gay friends of mine, oral sex is far more prevalent than anal sex because of the

need for preparation.

Okay, so

I said it had to have been over 2,000.

At least.

How many people live in New York?

Okay, so we have 8 million people that live in New York, right?

So that makes 4 million men, right?

So then we started trying to do the math.

And this is where it got interesting, okay?

If you break down the

4 million men of the population in New York City, what percentage do you think are gay men?

10%?

I would guess 10%.

10%?

Okay, and that is out-gay men.

Those are men on the list.

We're not talking about Chinese guys.

Yes, we're not talking about Chinese guys.

We're not talking about a heterosexual Chinese guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then that opens the next question, which is like, what happens about men that are not, that are still in the closet or aka on the down low?

Because if you're on the down low, my assumption is that the one part of being gay that you're engaging in is the sex aspect.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not like a gay.

There's not the cultural aspect of it.

You don't like

a furniture store.

You're still, well, you're still

living your lie.

Yeah.

But like when, you know, when you're in the shadows,

then you get down to business, right?

But so then you have to assume, okay, so what are the numbers?

So if there's 8 million and 10% of, or 4 million, 10% of that is 400,000 gay men in New York City.

And this is at 10 p.m.

on a Wednesday night.

10 p.m.

on a Wednesday, which then the next qualifier is that has to be peak sex hours.

10, I would say, yeah, it would be pretty good.

10 p.m.

is peak sex hours, right?

And then, you know,

the assumption is that these gentlemen, you know, they don't have to, they don't have kids.

You know, they're really, like, open.

Yeah.

Many of them don't, most of them don't have kids.

They're really open to engage in sex hours, especially on a Wednesday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but then you have to assume that it's current.

So, like, what are peak sex hours?

You have to say anywhere from 8

p.m.

to 2 a.m.

Well, unless you get into like PNP stuff, I would say.

Okay, so what is that?

That's chem sex, like where you do methamphetamine and have sex for a long amount of time.

So is that true?

Because it's not that your penis gets small like on mine does.

I'll say this.

My penis, when I did meth, my penis would shrink, would shrink.

Yeah.

I'm just assuming that when you're on stimulants, your penis, like

some people, but then there's some people that like jack off for like two days or whatever.

It would never even occur to me, the thought wouldn't come to my mind to jack off when I was on.

Like kind of a sting style.

What do you mean?

The singer Sting.

Sting would do meth and jack off.

Well, I believe he was into like tantra.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know if that's a gay style.

You kind of do tantric shit.

Not like sex, but like you do, like you meditate.

Like, I see you.

Yeah, but I don't like talking.

Yeah,

I kind of like to separate myself.

It's like personal life.

Yeah, I understand.

I would say, so you're, you're, you're, I would say 300 is a low estimation.

So 300 sounds low, but you have to assume that, like, okay, let's, what is sex?

I mean, like, I don't know, those are 20-minute increments, we could say of sex, yeah.

So, we'll say, like, this is in the 10 p.m.

to 10:20 p.m.

window, right?

And, like, let's say all four, like, not all 400,000 are engaged in nightly sex.

Not all 400,000, no.

Right.

So, it has to be much less than that.

So, like, even if we account for 10% of gay men in New York City, that's still still 40,000 men are having sex

that night, right?

Yeah.

So I would say in a 20-minute period, it would have to be like, what,

anywhere from 2,500 to 3,000.

Yes, that sounds right to me.

Maybe, maybe if it's like summer more.

You know?

If it's nice out.

If it's like nice out.

But, you know, if it's cold, then it's.

But then you need it.

Yeah, you need someone to.

But then

maybe you don't want to take the cab.

But it did, like, I was more convinced the more my friend told me that he thinks that he thought it was a lower number than I was assuming.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm going to say I'm still going with high, but 300 couplings makes sense, I guess.

But no, that doesn't make sense.

I would say high.

Yeah, at that moment.

At that moment.

At that very second.

Yeah.

That's tough to say because it were just kind of Manhattan, right?

No, I would say let's account for the five boroughs.

So 16 million people, right?

12 million.

8 million.

Yeah.

Staten Island is, of course, one of the gayest places.

Absolutely.

I mean, that's like the Castro districts of New York City.

I'm going to say higher.

I'm going to say 1,000 then, if we're being very conservative.

Yeah.

At 10, 20.

8 million people is a lot of people, dude.

There's a lot of people.

A lot of people.

Yeah, yeah.

If you're a gay guy, can you write into the show right now or in the show's comments?

Can you just share it?

There has to be a way, or ask ChatGPT.

Ask chat gpt right now well i don't know if it'll let me ask sex questions just ask how many gay guys there are in new york city pete you're gay

how many gay guys do you think are in new york city oh easily half a million he says half he says half a million i i believe so many gay i would say that that new york probably is a higher percent than other people than other places yes for sure there's a huge gay population

How do you think 10 p.m.

is a good time to have sex?

That's my favorite time.

He says one of his favorites.

times.

One of his favorite times.

I like.

There has to be a way to actually

run the numbers on this.

Yeah, well, I don't know if there is.

My phone is not working.

Also, it's Wednesday.

I mean, hump day.

Hump day, that is true.

Almost there.

Almost at the weekend.

Yeah, I mean, I could see that.

I could see that being the case.

This is like a world that we're completely ignorant.

I'm not completely ignorant.

Well, you were, that was more of a power thing, right?

That was a power thing.

That was like, you're just trying to get your drugs.

This guy just needs his house cleaned.

Exactly.

He really doesn't.

He doesn't really.

I was.

He just.

There was.

I've never, I've never, there's, there's, I think I just.

There's an app.

There's a gay guy app to know how many guys want to have sex like within.

No, no, no, Grinder.

Within like a.

Grinder's out.

Look at, well, I don't know if it's out, but Sniffies is the one now.

What is Sniffies?

That sounds like a...

It's not working.

Unable to connect.

I might have violated the terms of service.

Sniffies is

like a map, and it's just cocks, basically, or abs.

And

it's like an interactive map.

There's a cock here.

And you go.

When I was in San Francisco a few days ago,

my friend showed me the app, and he was like, yeah, check it out.

And there was one guy that was like down in the marina.

It's like, all right, at 9 p.m.

or something like that, like 7 p.m this Sunday we're doing a come dump in this hotel and I'm just that's my first come dump and I just need everyone to come dump their cum on me yeah

and so if we're accounting for come dump situations that skews the numbers a little bit right

then you would have to qualify it as just the penises in a butt well what do you think sex is Adam well yeah that this is like these are the conditions that we're like yes I think like I asked my girlfriend this right what she thinks sex is and she's a gay man and she probably didn't think very high she said that they are having way less uh butt sex than blow jobs because butt sex requires like you can't have like yogurt for two days or something really yeah you can't eat dairy oh well we would be you have to have your shit like you gotta have a rock and you have to have a rock and diet you have to like prepare yeah interesting yeah that makes sense to me i guess yeah yeah because otherwise it's like you know it's a comedy of errors i mean there's a shit everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

But then there have to be certain guys that just want it.

They want the dump.

They want the dump.

They want the dump.

They want the dump.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess that's true.

There's probably a lot.

I would qualify a blowjob as a sexual act of

sex itself.

What we're saying is we're going to limit it just to

but sex.

But sex.

So if you're doing that, then the 300 or the 600 number, that becomes more realistic.

If you're saying at that very moment.

At that very second.

But I think it still has to be over a thousand.

I think it has to be at least a thousand.

Yeah.

Equinox is literally.

Well, but that's a lot of blowjobs, right?

I don't know.

I've never

been to Equinox.

Yeah, yeah.

Apparently, it's just, you just go there for sex.

You can have sex with Andy from Bravo.

You could have sex with

Anderson Cooper.

Anderson Cooper.

Yeah.

Who else is there?

It's crazy.

There's a guy that has to clean that up.

Yeah.

Like a guy he was brought across the border by a coyote.

Yeah.

Like his job.

Yeah, yeah.

He's from the highlask.

In San Francisco, there used to be this place called the Lusty Lady.

It was like a peep show, but people would have sex in the booths.

And the guy that cleaned it up was the singer of, he was an older gay gentleman, the singer of this band, the Dicks, fantastic band.

But he sort of liked to clean it up.

That was like, he kind of liked that.

Oh, he did it as like, that's his thing.

He's like, I'm rocking with this.

Yeah.

Have you ever been to a peep show?

I've been to a sex movie theater once in Montreal.

How was that?

It was.

I was a little bit

because

I was with a girl.

I was a little bit...

You with a cut?

Like a couple?

I was going to say with a couple, but I was just...

I was in a couple.

Yeah.

Then they sent us upstairs and there was like basically a sofa.

And then she kind of wanted to do it.

But I was like...

Sexually?

Yeah, yeah.

But I was like a little bit like worried about

my bum touching the sofa.

Yeah, I guess.

But then I kind of just did it.

And it was like a heterosexual.

It was this place, cinema a lot more.

It was a straight movie.

And then I kind of, it was over.

And then I looked over the balcony and it was all like

90-year-old gay men.

Because it was like

they hadn't figured out.

how to use the computer that you could see.

And then I kind of just watched it for like, uh, for a couple minutes and it was amazing.

No, I watched like what those guys.

What were they doing?

So there were certain guys that there were two

like

what do you call it?

There were two fucking aisles.

Aisles.

Why am I ever talking?

I want to say hallways.

There were two aisles.

And so there's certain guys that just walk down the aisle just jerking.

Oh, like and then they do they dart their eyes dart to be like

guards in a video game.

Do you want do you want yeah kind of like

the sneak around there.

Kind of like a

Rainbow Six.

Yeah, yeah, kind of a sneak mission.

And then I guess if anyone says, oh, nice stuff, then they'll go and join someone that's sitting along the chair.

And are they jacking?

In the chairs.

Yeah, they're standing.

They're walking down the aisle jacking.

Oh, the guys in the aisles jacking.

The guys in the aisles are jacking.

The guards.

Yeah, no, but I mean, excuse me, are the guys in the seats engaging in masturbation?

I think there were solos, and I think some of them were engaging in masturbation, but I think it's a matter of just if you maintain eye contact, then they're like,

let's go.

But the most amazing thing I saw were these three, like, I mean, they were like Grandpa Simpson.

There were three gentlemen in a sitting one, two, three,

and then there was a gentleman,

the alpha, perhaps, who's in the middle, and he was

getting head from the other.

I mean, these men, they landed on Omaha Omaha Beach.

This is the greatest generation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, Canada

had a different beach.

Canada, they went to

Newfoundland.

No, no, they landed at D-Day, but I don't think it was at D-Day.

They were under Monty.

They were under Monty.

They were on Eisenhower.

Yeah, yeah.

Monty was a cocksucker.

No, Monty saved our ass a little bit on D-Day.

No, I think he did.

I don't know how much he did.

I think we fucked up a little bit D-Day.

Anyway, he's getting head.

This guy, the greatest, you know,

greatest generation, saved Europe from the the Nazis.

So I have nothing but Mickey Mantle,

Marilyn Monroe on the great.

I mean,

these guys,

nothing but respect, you know, hot rods, Lovers Elaine, nothing but respect for these guys.

Okay.

You know, rock and roll, one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, rock.

You know, consider this.

Phenomenal guys.

Jim Crow.

Jim Crow, but they kind of.

They're Canadian.

It fizzled out.

It fizzled out.

Fizzled out.

No, these are land acknowledgement.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he's getting ahead from the guy on his left, and then the other gentleman was just

romantically kissing his neck, the guy on his right, and then

he was like

jerking the guy on his right, and I couldn't.

So he's getting one like this, and then one like this, and then a kissing, and then like.

That would be

the most beautiful

expression of love that I've ever

too neurodiversion for that.

I think the sensory overload would make me have a panic attack.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

It really would

trigger your neurodivergence.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just something you never expect to see in your life.

You had straight sex in a gay movie theater.

But it was a straight.

But that doesn't.

It doesn't.

I didn't see it happening until I had had the straight sex.

But yeah, it was like,

you know, I couldn't take my eyes off.

I'm entranced.

Yeah.

Old people engage in sex.

It was a real-life lemon party.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was.

That's what it was.

And I was like, you know, I thought it was probably the three guys from Lemon Party.

That were just still doing it.

It was probably the three guys.

These guys should have cameos.

They should.

They should be like, happy birthday.

Yeah.

Like, they should recreate it and then like stop and give you a happy day.

You and Finance is your birthday, your friends, whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold on, I hit my fume.

Yeah, you got to rip some fume after that.

After that hot story,

how's it taste

it's good for you or it's not it's not you can't say it's good for you and it's it says in the don't

we're not doing the ad read anymore and i'll fucking say it it's good for you because you know what it is it's fucking air we'll cut that air is so good for you yeah yeah i do want to know an answer to how many like if there's a way to estimate how many

gay guys are having sex at any given moment in new york city there is probably some guy like an intrepid redditor You know, there's

a guy on Reddit recently that did, like, I don't know why, but he did a ranking of every single NBA player's penis.

Every single, wait, how do you know?

He studied pictures of

the dick print in

basketball shorts.

Yeah.

Who's got the most rocking thing?

I don't know.

I mean, like, it's crazy, like,

to run the numbers.

Hold on, is your penis supposed to be visible from your clothing?

I think it can, like, especially in an athletic short, you can get some dick print.

I mean, it's crazy.

I get nothing.

How could wear

this guy?

Let me see.

Concave is what I'm working with here.

Yeah, I would say that I'm wearing compression shorts.

I could, yeah, exactly.

I could wear, I could wear, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would say that, but I mean, I could wear Lululemon, and you'd see nothing.

This guy ranked the meat

of every single NBA player and then posted it to R/slash NBA.

It's crazy like the dedication that this took.

Let me see.

I got well, I have to find

the actual.

Yeah, people did a

single NBA player ranked by, well, by their size.

I'm not talking height.

This guy analyzed a combination of real-time game footage, stills, and images.

I don't really know what to think, but let's look at the results, I guess.

Starting at the bottom of the list with the smallest is poor, poor Ty Ty Washington.

Now, he's a two-way guy with a buck, so I'm gonna be honest with you.

Let me see.

Other names rounding out the bottom here.

A shocker is Nas Reed, all the way at the bottom.

Nas Reed.

Wow.

Brandon Xavier Ingram.

Now, before we look at who's number one on the list, some other tough players to find the bronze in the middle of the pack at 361.

That's a goat.

The goat.

270.

But looking at the top of the list, number five, Joelle MB.

Number four, Isaiah Hart and white guy.

He's not white.

What race is he?

He's bright-skinned.

Halliburton.

Maybe that's why he gets that red.

Tyrese Halliburton.

Interesting.

Interesting.

I was just looking at the Tyrese Halliburton video of him giving a little quote gambling.

He has some of the worst fashion outside of the NBA.

He's bad.

He dresses like he wears those Canadian mountain hats.

I gotta say, they dress like Sgt.

Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band on the way to play

basketball.

Yeah, it's all good.

I would just wear sweatpants.

Yeah, it's all of them.

All NBA.

It's a big deal now to be like a fashion

plate.

They do their little walk-ups to the fucking stadiums.

I mean, but it is insane that this guy ran those numbers.

I have a hard time respecting that.

I mean, I have no respect for that.

Yeah, it's difficult.

I'm going to look at the list.

Oh, the penis thing, I have a good time.

That's easy for me to respect.

But dressing up to go to work seems difficult for me to respect.

Oh, my God.

It's pathetic.

But it's also like they commit to crazy.

What's going on?

I'm just sitting like this.

That's fun.

I don't like that we're doing.

We talked about guys' penises and I.

We talked about, oh, that I'm doing this.

I mean, you're sitting in a very sexual way.

Do you think sometimes it's crazy?

So, Adam and I live very near each other.

And that

has given Adam the impression that he...

deserves access to me sometimes at hours where that would be inappropriate.

And so, like, I go to bed usually at night.

Do you not want me to talk about this?

I go to bed at

9 p.m.

every night so I go up and go to CrossFit in the morning.

They love this like behind the curtain kind of like.

Well, that's a yeah.

It's a good way to put it.

We hang out.

I wake up sometimes.

We live a block away from each other just

for context.

Okay, go ahead.

And I have about 50, 50 texts.

eight or nine missed calls from Adam.

Yeah.

4 a.m.

Just being like, can I come over and talk?

Can I stay on your couch?

Like, it's cold as fuck out.

Like, I'm in a fight with my girlfriend.

Like, I just need someone to

hang out with.

I just need another guy.

I need a guy.

And it kills me because it's, you know, I think you and I have this

professional relationship.

That kind of stuff is inappropriate because I think that if you and I were together like that, like, I mean, together together, like, if we actually made it work, we tried to give it a shot.

Yeah.

You know, I think that would be really powerful.

Yeah, yeah.

But I think that people, I don't think that it would be

good for us.

I didn't finish the story of what my friend's dad told him recently, but he said that him and his best friend were like, well, we are best friends.

Like, what if we just...

What if we just have sex with each other?

Yeah.

And then, like, then we can just be best friends.

And also...

And then they did it.

And they were like, yeah.

Like, I'm not feeling it.

I'm not, like, I didn't really feel it like having that gay sex that we had.

Do they each

fuck each other's asses i didn't ask i mean like i'm sure i i'm not sure if my friend asked his dad that like if he was the top the bottom the power you know like or the i i don't know if my friend asked his dad about positions but apparently the notion i have is like that would ruin my friendship instantly right i could probably fuck

like let's say like that just happens and then i'm like i'd be like bro i don't want to fucking see you you know yeah like give it a couple weeks man they went back to never they just went back to being normal best friends interesting yeah it's kind of inspiring i've ever like felt if my dad told me that story as a 15 year old it would have destroyed me yeah but i think as an adult man i'd be like you know what like i respect

respect respect respect i do respect that yeah

i guess i've never felt that much love for a friend Like not like I want to fuck them.

No, like I barely even want to see them.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Especially if they call you in the middle of the night.

They call me in the middle of the night.

You don't call me in the middle of the day.

What Adam does do is that Adam does every night when you have nothing to do.

I know that you do this.

You just call every one of your friends.

Not to hang out.

You like to talk on the phone.

I like talking on the phone.

I find it endearing.

I like a phone conversation.

I don't like texting.

I don't like texting either, but I don't like a phone conversation either.

No, no, phone conversation, you could say funny things and stuff.

That is true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, you're a caller.

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes you'll.

And you could act like you thought it was going to be someone else and you'd be like, and you could just, and you'll pick up and I'll just be like, beep.

And then I'll be, oh, Brace, I didn't know it was you.

I thought it was my black friend.

Like, sometimes, sometimes I will classic mistake.

I will meet up with somebody and they'll be like, did Adam just call you?

And I'm like, Adam just

me too.

People talk about me.

We don't talk about you like that.

It's just...

They're like, it's pathetic.

No, they're not saying it's pathetic, Adam.

Listen, this is...

I call you like I'm walking the dog past your house.

I'm not saying you shouldn't call me.

I like it when you call me.

Makes me feel it makes after October 7th.

You've given me a lot of strength.

Yeah, I want to.

I just want I hit brace up.

I said, I'm feeling Schindler.

Do you want to watch Schindler?

We did it.

Yeah, we did.

We did go over.

And then Will came over as well.

Yeah, ruined it.

That was like a, yeah,

we just watched Dirty Work.

We did watch Dirty Work.

It was so sick.

It was very.

We did watch Dirty Work on October 7th.

We watched Dirty.

Yeah.

Well, after October 7th.

We wanted to get together and watch Schindler's list after October 7th.

And then we got together and I was like, oh, I don't want to.

Yeah.

It's too much.

You know, who recently did?

Nick.

Nick watched it?

Yeah.

To get some ideas.

And he said it's funny.

Schindler's list is funny?

He said it was funny.

Which character?

Oscar Schindler.

So funny.

Yeah, yeah.

He said that he dressed like a pimp when he had to go to the concentration camp to get his to get his juice back.

He went dressed like a pimp.

He did.

He went like furs and stuff.

I was like, damn, I'm going to do a re-watch.

Yeah.

I hadn't seen that in a while.

Maybe I will watch that.

It sounds pretty funny, actually.

Yeah.

I mean, it's better.

It's...

Listen.

Oscar Schindler.

I like how he's much larger than all of us in the movie.

Like, all the little Jews are like regular size.

Schindler's a giant.

He's like, you kind of got a Schindler situation with the Pete here.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't say how tall he is.

It is really embarrassing for me.

Why?

How tall are you?

Me?

Yeah.

Five foot two.

You tower over me, bro.

It sucks, ain't it?

I feel like a dwarf next to you.

Yeah, I know.

I still treat you the same, though.

But you don't.

I see how you treat taller guys.

I call you little feller.

I know, and it sucks.

And you're always like, let's, because I, obviously, when I was like, let's hoop.

Yeah, that's the thing.

You always try to get me to play basketball.

Yeah, but I'm just trying to get the meat size.

That's true.

You know that guy, Isaiah Hartenstein, who you're like, that guy's white.

He's not white?

His dad's black, but he looks like a white guy.

And then he recently gave an interview where they were like, so your dad's black.

And he goes, yeah, so like, basically, what I am is like, a lot of people light-skinned.

I'm bright-skinned.

Interesting.

And I was like, that's a really cool thing.

That's what Sean King should say.

Yeah, that he's bright-skinned.

That he's bright-skinned.

Talcum X.

He's so.

Is he still doing his thing?

How much would you sell me your show for?

This show?

How much would you sell me a controlling share in the Adam Friedland?

Well, Nick's not here, so I would have to ask him, but I think maybe $200.

$200,000.

You were going to say $200,000.

I would buy the Adam Friedland show for $200,000.

What would you do with it?

Complete creative control.

Sean King, you guys are interviewing

cool guys or whatever.

Yeah, we should have a lot of people who are.

You need to just have fucking freaks on here.

Yeah, yeah.

You need to have.

You'd had that a little bit at the beginning.

You had that little dwarf gentleman.

I wouldn't say he's a freak.

I'd say

that's a that is a he's not watching this.

Yeah, but I just

you don't want to talk shit on past gas.

I get that.

No, I'm not talking shit.

I just didn't, I just didn't clock him as a freak.

I just thought

that's normal to you.

I just thought he was.

You need to have only freak guests on this show.

Yeah.

And Sean King is a freak.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, his commitment to the bit is crazy.

Incredible.

Well, I want Dola's all really bad.

I mean, we can't, but like, you can't.

How do I get to that?

Have you tried to get her?

I don't know how.

You haven't even tried.

She's got only fans, and certainly, and the only fans, she has a messaging.

Have you seen the leaks?

I've seen the leaks.

Yeah.

Does she look good?

I mean, I'm going to be honest with you.

She doesn't look good.

No, she doesn't, she's not, she doesn't look good in the leagues,

but

that doesn't matter.

She looks good.

Because she put in the fucking work.

We all know this.

She does all the wormest people who like Dole Azal.

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone likes Dolezal.

But you should have like Doleazal, DJ Academics on here.

I would love that.

Yeah, that would be fucking good.

FaZe Banks.

I don't think Faze would come on.

Why not?

You already kind of had Chet Hanks is kind of a FaZe Banks.

No, no.

Chet is

cool.

But he's like, FaZe wants to be Chet.

Yeah, yeah.

Adam 22.

Yeah, Adam 20.

I would not.

He's a guy who's interested in some meat as well.

Well, if he let me run train on his girl, I would let Adams.

That's the thing, dude.

If you were my slave, Adam, I would make you a star.

I mean, that's me.

You're here in New York.

If the Patreon recovered, I would be.

Is we're going down?

Is the Patreon going down?

Oh, precipitously.

Every month it's going down.

I think we're at like $12,000 dollars a month right now this yeah you can't have that no no it's not good here's how

he's not handling it well i mean nick he's money first right obviously he doesn't he's not a very principled guy no no yeah

i mean i would let you do it i would let you i would let you okay first thing we do we talk

about economy middle seat flight to la and i need you on that fucking atom 22 porno podcast where you fuck his wife and i want do i fuck his wife and i talk to him right after i think you talked to him before before.

I've never seen him.

I got ball sweat.

I got ball sweat.

I got pussy juice on my face.

And I want an honest review for her.

I can get on his show.

He's hit me up plenty of times.

I know you can get on his show.

I need you to fuck his wife.

Getting on his show is okay, fine.

He's got plenty of freaks on him.

It has to be broadcast, though.

Yeah.

It has to be broadcast, Adam.

Do you want to be famous and rich?

Let me ask you this.

I don't know about doing sex and rich.

Do you want, I'm not asking if you want to be sexy.

More than anything to be famous.

You want more than anything to be famous and rich.

People know this about me.

I really want to be famous.

You want to be famous.

That's the name of the show.

And yet, what you do in practice is you sit here in your little studio.

Yeah.

Have very

indie rock musicians come in.

You ask them,

you know, we need you in LA fucking wives.

Yeah.

Other thing that we need to do is we need a kind of bagel boss type incident from you.

I want you to assault somebody at a restaurant.

Yeah.

Viral video.

Think about this.

What if I tore down?

Yeah.

Dasha got kind of famous off that, like, she's like

Alex Jones thing.

I need you in that kind of situation.

What if I, what if I tore down a missing poster for the hostages?

Yeah.

For Israel.

Yeah.

Or you should start putting up

missing posters.

Yeah, put some up.

Put some up.

Yeah.

With your face on them.

That's what I'm saying.

You have a very...

And that would piss everyone off.

you have an

awesome racist fan base.

You got to get everyone mad.

If you can't please everybody, don't please anybody.

Yeah, get everyone mad.

Everybody mad.

That is kind of like the consistent through line in my life: offending everyone.

Everybody, he's the rudest man.

You go out to a restaurant with him,

he's slapping asses.

Repulsive personality.

Repulsive personality, but you love him.

But I need you as a person.

Yeah, I just slap ass and I say, sorry, I have bad personality.

The Come Town and now Adam Friedland Show fanbase, notoriously repulsive, right?

No,

I think good guy.

There's so much love in the Comtried.

But between you and me.

Taps face.

I love you guys.

Listen, I'm one of you.

He's one of them.

He was in Afghanistan, listening.

I was a modern

sub-reddit.

Yeah, yeah.

You need a street team.

And you need that street team in every single city to be wheat-pasting missing poster.

Missing

Gaza.

In Freedland.

Adam Freeland.

It's not a bad idea.

It's a good idea.

I think it would upset my family, but at this point, like, what?

What the fuck is your family going to do?

That's fleeting, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They love me enough to get over that.

One day they'll all be gone.

You'll be gone.

But you know what'll be here?

Your legacy, my brother.

My legacy.

Your legacy.

Another thing you need to do is I think that you need to.

Well, I like your girlfriend a lot, so this is tough for me to say.

Yeah.

Nick's been trying to get me to cheat recently, too.

To cheat yeah if you cheated oh my god i would be so disappointed in you yeah yeah i can't like what with what

a dog yeah if i cheated with a dog that could be the viral incident though that's what i'm saying i i do well it's like you already will kind of have a sex date with adam 22's wife yeah yeah But I think that like there needs to be some kind of like air.

It's not like a cancellation or something, but you need like a crazy, like you need to start dating.

Who's that chick who killed her mom or whatever and got out of prison?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You need to start, you don't need to start dating her, but you need to fuck her.

You need to fuck that little killer lady.

Yeah, yeah, she looks like she looks like shit, too.

She's

you know, I don't want to say anything because obviously,

but you know, she's not, I'm not, but you know, I that's not how I view people, anyways.

Another thing you need to do is just make the show better, yeah, yeah.

That that that is like that's a good idea.

I was asking Nick about that the other day, he was just like, We're not doing that.

No, he was like, He's not like, he's, I don't know, he says, I have a plan, trust the plan.

You know,

I get that.

Nick is very smart.

You know, he's a comedic genius.

He is.

The man is

so smart.

He's so funny.

Yeah.

But

the podcast, for instance, you guys were doing the lab mics.

I'm glad to see that the actual microphones have made a retirement.

How does it sound, Pete?

Pete says it sounds great.

They've got this gnomish producer back there.

This little white.

This guy's like fucking

four feet tall.

But the podcast.

So, what you need to be in here is, Adam, when people see you, you're like a different kind of man,

right?

I'm built different, you're built different, I got that dog in me, crazy different

in a way that I don't think people have been built before, yeah.

So, you've seen these podcasts, like Fresh and Fit, they're like the like red pill.

This is we were talking about this before the show.

I think this is the idea.

This is the idea.

I think we need girls in bikinis, and I need to be, yeah, I need to be yelling at them.

You know what?

I think you need to be yourself around them, right?

Oh, I don't even have to try.

You don't even have to try.

I think, I think, because all the Red Bill podcasts follow one formula: you pay a

porn star to come on your show, and then you yell at her for being a porn star or a prostitute, and you yell at her for being a prostitute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What we need to do is we need to get some hookers in here to disrespect me, to disrespect you, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how we turn alpha podcasts.

Yeah, what we need is a beta podcast.

They'll say to me, they'll be like, you pooped your pants on a podcast.

How do you ever expect a woman to be with you?

Exactly.

Right?

And I'll be like, but don't you, you do nasty things.

And they're like, this isn't about me.

This is about you.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And they're like, we're getting paid more than you.

Some of these women are making money.

You're a laughing stock.

You're a laughing stock.

I have three houses.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How much are you making for this?

Exactly.

Yeah.

And I'll be like, well, the profits play with Nick is I get 5%, he's getting 95%.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you know, but I could bump it up to 10%.

Yeah, but I'm getting the eyes on me.

You get the eyes.

I'm getting the eyes on me.

And I think that would be great if you were sitting there in like a tank top or like some kind of like a crop cut thing.

No, I'm thinking mesh where you see my nipples through.

Yeah, yeah.

Mesh.

If you were dressed, yeah, you're mesh and you're sitting there and just like six busty females are just berating you.

Top 1% only fan.

We would make you a million dollars a month.

You think so?

I absolutely think.

Who's getting yelled at by women these days?

No one.

So all of us at home.

At home.

At home.

If it was happening for a second, Here's the thing: 2017, 2018, women were yelling, right?

Women's march, slut march, all that kind of stuff.

Boom, something changed.

Yeah, it's now everyone's yelling at women again.

Yeah, I don't feel comfortable.

I don't feel comfortable with that.

I love women.

Well, I'm afraid.

I'm actually more just

afraid.

Yeah, because they could say anything.

And they'd be like, oh, he's got a.

I wouldn't even call that a dick.

Exactly.

This is

this is my word.

This is my word.

But

I think that we just need to radically change the form of everything that you do in your life.

But you're not willing to do it.

You want to sit here and you want to have some stand-up comedian on here to joke around with you.

Yeah, yeah.

How was the weekend?

Oh, you did the Thursday late, got a little spicy.

There was a drunk guy.

Oh, I love doing

shows

in Milwaukee.

Oh, Indianapolis.

That's a rough market.

That's a rough neighborhood to do it in.

No one cares.

No,

you know what?

They want horror.

Your audience hates and loves you, and they love

beautiful prostitutes.

They love,

well, I love girls too.

I love them.

They're so beautiful.

Guys, Irvine, California.

Next weekend, Friday, Saturday, last-minute shows.

There are about 25 tickets sold for all of them in general.

I think this could be the end of my stand-up comedy career.

Guys, the improv, Irvine, the 19th and 20th of April.

Please come out and see me.

Brace, you got anything to plug?

No, I have nothing to plug.

Thanks a lot for listening, guys.

Nick is back next week.