The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ryley Walker & Nick Mullen - Episode 46

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Hello and welcome to a very special episode of the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

As we've alluded to in the last couple of weeks, we are in dire financial straits these days.

We're trying to save the business.

We are being threatened by

potentially filing for chapter 7 or 11 bankruptcy.

So, what many of you don't know is that those of you who don't subscribe to our patron.

Hello, and welcome to the Adam Freelance Show podcast.

Very special episode.

Before we start, I just want to introduce you guys a lot of people.

The show is kind of has hit, kind of like in any long relationship, you're like with a girl.

Sometimes you don't fuck for a couple months.

And Nick and I are kind of in that kind of stage right now.

I think it's become apparent to the fans, and they want to get us fucking again.

They want to spice up our relationship a little bit.

And a lot of you have been asking for an official Adam Friedland Show podcast mascot.

And so

I came back from the weekend.

I was in Detroit last weekend.

Thank you to everyone who came to the shows in Detroit and Boston.

They were incredible shows.

And And I came back, the studio was spotless.

He cleaned for me,

which made me feel good.

And also I saw this gentleman over here and Nick

brought into our lives the new official Adam Friedland show mascot.

This is Mr.

Hashimoto.

He was once a file cabinet and now he is kind of a like a Japanese salary man, kind of a like a bukaki style.

You know the deal.

Also, guys, on the Patreon side, I just want to mention for those of you who subscribe to the Patreon, this Monday or Tuesday, you saw our first installment of the Adam Friedland Show digital shorts series, which will now be a weekly occurrence.

Nick and I will be making one digital shorts style sketch a week on Patreon for our intrepid Patreon subscribers.

Also, we release a lot of other exclusive content this week, the shooting script for the last episode of the Paul Schrader Schrader

episode of the talk show.

And also,

we're going to figure out how to do, for our Patreon subscribers, if you don't subscribe,

these were some props that Nick made for the last sketch that didn't actually end up making it into the episode, but we kind of we want to

figure out a way for our subscribers on Patreon to have a contest or something.

We don't know how to do it specifically, but we're going to be doing it in the next couple weeks for these exclusive, Nick ordered these

PS5 cases.

I'll get to you.

I'll get to you in a second.

PS5 cases, and he got a photo printer and then Photoshopped these PlayStation games.

For instance, Master of the Senate, Lyndon Johnson, the Robert Caro.

This is the PS5 game.

This is The Last Bit of Pussy Part 2.

Of course, the Capcom Boys Don't Cry.

And who could forget Gay Madden 24, which I hear is quite good.

Oh, the Holy Quran.

This is good too.

So guys, if you don't subscribe to Patreon and you want to enter the contest and you want to see the new digital short series, of course the weekly podcast, and

a chance for you to win one of these exclusive PS5 games developed by Nick Mullen for our last sketch that didn't make it in because it was a nightmare of a scenario and I'm glad it's behind us.

Finally, because money is getting tight, we did also have a fuck a fan challenge and I'd like to introduce you guys to the winner of the fuck a fan challenge.

You want to introduce yourself, your name?

Hey out there in TV land, my name is Riley.

Adam let me fuck him and he fucked me.

I wouldn't say

let you.

It was kind of I had to.

Yeah, he had.

He had to let me fuck him.

It was me fucking Adam.

Just kidding, that was kind of a nasty joke.

Riley and I are good friends.

It's my friend Riley Walker.

He is a Grammy Award-winning musician.

You've worked with him.

Never even been in the consideration of the conversation for a Grammy.

You've worked with everyone from Robert

Plant to

John Bonham to.

Yeah, Bonzo.

Me and Bonzo used to hit it hard back in the late 70s.

Moon, of course.

RIP.

Brian Eno,

Brian Pinero.

He worked with all of them.

He's a very talented musician, probably,

I would venture to say musical genius.

He never would.

Yeah, so everyone give it up for Riley Walker, Mr.

Guaranteed 11 inches.

Riley Walker.

Welcome to the show, pal.

Nick's on the road,

but we will, I think we should check back in with Nick later on in the episode.

Yeah, let's give Nick a shot.

I'm doing you no favors by being on here.

I'm nobody at all, so I really appreciate it.

Well, I mean, in the music community, I think you're quite heralded and like well-respected, but definitely in the podcast fan audience,

I think you might receive death threats.

Yeah, I'm gonna be like transferring at Union Station and get a knife in my side.

I'm not really looking forward to it because I'm not Nick and I'm not like that.

Yeah, by virtue of the fact that you're not Nick,

I put actually your life in danger.

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna die.

It's totally worth it, which is kind of how Jews all around the country are feeling right now.

So, you know, maybe walk a mile in our shoes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm finally

with the rise in anti-Semitism.

Riley is a buddy of mine,

very funny dude, and musician, and also he's been a, he was an OG fan of Cometown.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys were big on the stereo back in the day and the tour van and stuff.

You listened on a stereo.

Man, a stereo on a boombox.

Yeah.

I remember, I don't know if it's.

I think I asked you if I could say this before, but when Riley, Riley

liked to party a little bit too much.

Had a problem.

He had to go away to

a place that teaches you not to party anymore.

A clinic.

And our friends would

explain Cometown bits that he was missing because of your incarceration.

Yeah, in handwritten letter form.

He was getting Cometown bits written by hand by our friends Brian.

Yeah, it was contraband.

They got it into the rehab, and I would read it and laugh, and it got me one day closer to Serenity, and I'm here now with you, and it's a real joy.

So I essentially got you a little bit.

Yeah, you got me clean.

Like I owe it to Adam.

Yeah, yeah.

I owe it to Adam because I'm clean.

It's pretty sad.

Five years.

Five years now.

Five years clean.

Let's give it up for Riley.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

He used to be one of the most fun guys.

Now he's...

Yeah, now I suck.

Now you suck.

Yeah, ice me.

Yeah, congratulations to you, of course.

Yeah, contraband.

So Brian took it in like his ass or something.

No, it was mailed in letter form, but you know, they would like read the letters and there'd be like, hey, I hope you're doing well.

You know, there'd be like some sort of communication at first.

And they wouldn't read past the first paragraph.

It's like a prison letter.

And then the rest was just funny stuff that you were saying at the time.

And it was really awesome.

I'm sure it wasn't anything I was saying.

I'm sure it was more no you're a really funny guy what did they say and then they said Adam and then they they were like Adam you're gay yeah a lot of stuff calling you gay and you laughed while you were in a drugs drugs drug withdrawal yeah

yeah absolutely while a nurse was by my side holding my hand really yeah

is it did is it like that yeah yeah you're like withdrawing and having nightmares and pissing and shit in the bed you know oh no I thought I thought it was more of a sexual when you say nurse I think porn no I wasn't getting jerked off or anything it was a total clinical clinical thing yeah yeah i don't even think my dick worked at the time your dick didn't work at well i was dying oh yeah yeah yeah well congratulations we're glad you're here yeah i'm glad to be here buddy thanks a lot i like being alive oh congratulations we're very proud of you i'm a big fan of of riley thanks pal he's one of the best guys i know pretty much oh thanks

and that's why that's why we call him mr guaranteed 11 inches of course

thank you very much guys and that's a guarantee to every guy watching who canceled on this to make me come on the podcast?

Nick had to go on the road.

Oh, Nick had to go on the road.

And you thought of your coolest, most famous friend, me.

I thought of my friend that needs this.

Yeah, I need this pretty bad action.

My career's in a real downturn.

I made up a fuck-a-fan challenge, right?

And I sent it to you in an email, and it seemed like there were other people.

You couldn't get Sufion Stevens?

No, no, no.

Couldn't get Sufion?

Brother, I made up a FAFA.

You don't have to pull for Sufion?

I made up a Fanny Fanny Fan.

This just sucks.

First of all, Sufion Stevens,

I don't think he'd like this very much.

He would love it.

You think so?

Yeah, close personal friend.

What's his vibe like?

I've actually never met Sufion Stevens.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

But I assume he'd write a whole concept album about it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you, so, so, Riley,

one thing I was thinking today is like, uh, we can, Riley has, you know, a lot of contacts in the music industry.

He's a veteran of indie rock.

Indie Rock.

Yeah, the Indie Rock business, I know everybody, pretty much, except Sufion.

Yeah.

So, like, you know, you have a lot of, I'm sure in

your,

you know, address book or whatever it is on the iPhone, you have a lot of names in there.

A ton of big names, yeah.

Yeah, like, uh, you know, Mr.

Dave Matthews, for instance.

Dave, yeah.

Dave's a, yeah, David.

Do you think we, uh, should we call him right now?

Maybe he's on Safari right now.

He likes to go to the motherland a whole lot.

Oh, yeah, I'm South African as well.

Yeah, you guys are South African brothers?

Yeah, yeah.

Well,

not biologically.

But you think he's on in the...

He wouldn't like to be called right now.

I don't know.

Just call him right now, then.

Okay.

drink yourself to death yeah he drank himself stupid and then he died i feel like no one's drank themselves to death since uh like hendrix

hendricks drowned in a bathtub with a bottle of wine he joked on his own vomit and his penis was huge apparently yeah that's what i've heard as well yeah left-handed penis left-handed penis yeah he hit a left-handed penis

are you texting dave matthews first no really i mean riley i thought i wanted i thought you would love it i thought if you're doing this to get close to to Dave Matthews, I'm on here for the wrong reasons.

Listen, brother, I'm not, yeah, maybe I am music.

You text Dave Matthews?

You texted Dave Matthews.

What did you say?

So, what's up?

Are you available for a call?

Really?

Yeah.

So, Riley actually

was a Dave Matthews fan growing up, and you recorded a covers album.

Yeah, and everybody hated it, and I lost the record label.

I was on a ton of money.

But everyone hated it, except for who?

Except for Dave Matthews.

Mr.

Dave Matthews.

Yeah, Dave Matthews respected it.

Dave Matthews is.

Good guy.

Shouts out to Dave Matthews.

Very good guy.

Lost the record labels.

Tens of thousands of dollars.

Still recovering from debt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're jaded for the music industry.

Riley, Riley.

Yeah, I'm independent.

Yeah, you're independent.

I'm totally independent.

Riley has been telling me for years, he's like, I'm done with the rocker dream.

Yeah, the rocker dream is done.

Podcasters have all the money now, and you took all the fame.

So you think siphoned it from us?

We are kind of the new.

Yeah, you're the new rock stars, and it's painful.

Really?

It must really suck for you guys.

Yeah, man.

Life is pretty fucking shit.

It's not cool.

It's really bad, actually.

Yeah.

I'm out here dying, dude.

I'm like, not okay.

I've lost everything.

I've lost everything.

No, you're fine, dude.

I'm alright for today.

You're happy.

Should we prank Nick?

Yeah, you want to give Nick a call?

Yeah, I'm going to give him a call.

He's in a bad mood.

What should the prank be, though?

Where is he?

He doesn't want to be on the road right now.

He's on the road doing comedy.

He's doing comedy.

Yeah.

He's a real.

I'll say this.

Hey, dude, we got a big problem.

What's up?

I came in the studio.

Mr.

Hashimoto was covered in blood and calm.

What?

Mr.

Hashimoto was covered in blood and calm.

So?

You're pranked.

What do you mean?

There are other guys here.

They're laughing their asses off right now.

I fucking pranked your ass.

You really thought that a file cabinet could get it could get brutally sexually assaulted.

I mean, that's.

Well, why couldn't why couldn't it?

I don't know, because it doesn't have a pussy, dude.

It's made out of metal.

I've fucked metal things before.

Oh, yeah, Riley's here.

He says hi.

Hey, Riley.

Hey, buddy.

I don't think you understand how cum works.

I think I understand how cum works, bro.

It can go on anything.

It doesn't have to go on.

It doesn't have to be like a person.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I know what you're saying.

Like, on the floor or in a toilet.

Oh, Nick, guess what?

You're double pranked.

We're on the fucking show right now.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Guess what?

You want to...

You must feel like a real fucking idiot right

So, I understand, do we still have the file cabinet character or no?

The file cabinet character, yeah, we still have it.

Okay, well, if I'm on the show, I guess I better get into show mode.

What is up?

Good afternoon.

Welcome to the Adam Friedland show.

Welcome to the Adam Freelance Show.

Hey, Nick, thanks for letting me be on.

I really appreciate it.

I need this more than you need me.

Okay, could you not?

Sorry.

Yeah, you interrupted him.

It was very rude, actually.

Could you not?

Yeah, please.

He's a fucking afternoon, go ahead.

One more.

Three, two, one.

Wow.

Nick?

Wow.

I was counting you down.

Wow.

Just do your good afternoon, brother.

Come on.

Oh, no, I feel patronized.

I'm not patronizing.

Okay.

So,

good afternoon.

Welcome to the Adam Freeland Show live via satellite.

We got Nick Mullen, and we are joined by Riley Walker, multi-grammy platinum award-winning, the writer of Umbrella by Rihanna.

actually.

Yeah, yeah.

You know that you did that?

Did you really?

Yeah, it was my idea to do the Ella, Ella, Ella part.

Yeah.

I put my kids through college with that.

What about an umbrella?

Well, it's actually about a risky gay sex act.

Yeah, it comes from first-hand experience.

It's called The Umbrella, yeah.

Is that for real?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, it's about going to Grand Central and blowing people anonymously.

I can't tell.

You guys are such master prank artists.

I can't tell what I'm being pranked and when.

Yeah.

I think that is a good lesson about pranking.

It's like, if you prank too much, then like you kind of

will alienate.

I don't use the umbrella bad.

Do black people use umbrellas?

I think they do in like New Orleans style like funeral marches and stuff.

Ah, yeah, but then it comes with a trombone.

Yeah, yeah.

There's a jazz aspect to it.

It is kind of like a it's kind of the silent jazz instrument.

Would you say that as a musician, Riley?

A trombone is the the silent jazz no the umbrella yeah the umbrella has a big part in jazz history for sure yeah documented yeah and so

tell everybody yeah tell everybody that uh

you got a guitar yeah yeah actually the guitar is on stage right now it's a really small bodied guitar kind of for

i'd say like tweens yeah it's a it's a uh if anyone doesn't know sam ash is going out of business in uh midtown manhattan don't fucking tell them dude i swear to god if one of these fucking podcast losers buys that Sousaphone before me because you blew up the Sam Ash sale,

Nick was like,

he was literally staring at a Sousaphone for like 20 minutes.

He's like, dude, we gotta get this for the studio.

Business expense.

You can lay it down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it makes more sense than a stupid guitar.

You bought a child's guitar.

Yeah, it's a tween.

It's like a tween guitar.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like for girls that are like want to learn Lana Del Rey.

Do Do women still play the ukulele?

Is that a thing?

It's prevalent, yeah.

They do really well.

They do like

now, like, we're all old.

Like, we're all millennials, and we're old now.

Yeah.

So there's a bitch that's just like 35, just nasty.

Just basically a senior citizen.

That's like playing a ukulele, wondering if it's still cute.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Isn't that weird that that's the type of person you can be now?

Yeah, she's a

menopausal ukulele player.

player.

Yeah, kind of like a fat zooy De Chanel style.

Not even fat, dude.

Not even.

Oh.

Just

in fact, on paper, still incredibly hot.

I mean,

any girl is beautiful to me.

Yeah, but too old.

Sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

Too old.

I'm sorry.

What am I going to do with a 35-year-old?

Your ages are probably covered in cobwebs by now.

Coastie's like the Adams family house.

Oh, Nick, I think

I got to stop you right there.

I just want to tell our audience.

I think I might have poisoned myself.

I just had something called Carolina Kettle Cooked Coastal Crab Boil Potato Chips with a can of Mountain Dew.

And I don't think these two are supposed to combine.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

You are in, you're in Raleigh, North Carolina right now.

I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina.

I would invite you guys

to the show, but unfortunately, they are sold out completely.

Are they?

No, not even close.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm looking at,

I got the tickets counts.

This might be the worst weekend yet since.

It's Solidarity.

I know that feeling very well.

What's the smallest audience you performed for?

Just the sound guy.

Just the sound guy.

Yeah.

See,

Riley's from a DIY.

Yeah, I'm talking about it.

So we feel like failures.

Riley's like, this is actually makes me, I'm a better artist because

I don't essay.

Yeah, because I suck.

I can't.

Because I can't manifest money.

I'm a great person.

It makes me actually a real one.

Yeah.

Riley, Riley, let's say this happens, right?

Let's say that

this episode blows up, right?

This is gonna blow up.

It's not.

People are like, Riley is the best podcaster in the entire world.

Yeah, it could be.

And then you start you go start your own podcast and you're making just a shit ton of money podcasting.

I wish.

And then you're like, okay, well, I guess I can't really tour right now because I got to focus on podcasting.

And then six years go by.

And then your fans who know you as a podcaster,

they go, oh, well, Riley used to play music.

And then the podcast starts to, the fat guy leaves.

The fat guy leaves, yeah.

The fat guy leaves.

And you're like, oh, boy.

And you're like, oh, well, I can't do the podcast anymore.

I guess I'll go back to playing music.

Yeah.

And you go play music and and then the entire podcast audience realizes you were lying about knowing how to play music the entire time

That's sort of the situation we're in

which is remind which reminds me guys about Babel guys

What's the best way to learn a language?

Immersion living where the language is spoken and using it every day But if that's not in the cards, you can still learn the language the second best way, and that's with Babel.

One in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list.

If that's you, make 2024

the year you finally check it off the list with Babel.

You know, actually, Riley, I want to learn Arabic so I can learn the term I'm sorry.

Shukriya, thank you.

Oh, well, I need to learn sorry.

As-salam.

I always imagine that the Tower of Babel, the language that everyone spoke, if you just look at

the biblical names, the language that people spoke probably sounded something like a Delta Blue Scat before the tower was smashed.

Like everybody was kind of going around just doing like a

Nebuchadnezzar Message Message.

Yeah.

And who smashed that tower?

Was it Muhammad Atta?

Yeah, yeah, the

very, very cool Adam.

You know what's funny?

I was on the plane on the way here,

and

like I was like, there was,

well, I was thinking about a couple of things.

I was texting people about it.

There was an Indian guy, it's like probably like a six-year-old Indian man with his shoes and socks completely off.

Just trying to just cruise into the cockpit looking for the bathroom.

And I love guys where they're like, oh, no, that's no, you can't go in there.

That's like a crime.

And then they have to point him to the bathroom.

But just the way guys like that just make themselves like completely comfortable with his shoes off

and um

you know it's i i well i was like uh uh uh

actually i don't want to say it on the show

but uh yeah just like uh

texting about how it's like it's it's it's like

you know uh uh

yeah i'm not gonna say it on the show okay um so fast forward to the end of 2024

because then i'm making fun of like i'm making jokes, right?

And then it's like, you know, they go to tackle him.

And then I explain, I'm like, no, he's Indian.

He's Indian.

He's not Muslim.

He's not Muslim or whatever.

And I'm making the jokes, like, jokes like that, saying terrorists and stuff on my phone with my friend.

You know, I'm like, oh, well, I hope the people behind me can't see my phone.

You know, because then I also, in that conversation, I pitched a sketch where it's like, it's 9-11, right?

And like the hijackers have already taken over the plane, you know, yeah, yeah, the hijackers are taking over the plane, and then some guy stands up, he's like,

He's like, This is bullshit, this is our lives, and we're gonna sit here and be cowards.

And then people are like, Yeah,

yeah, this guy's right, and he's like whipping them up into a frenzy.

He's like, We have to do, but like, we're gonna take things into our own hands.

We're not just gonna sit, he's like, What are we gonna just sit here and let these fucking faggots steal our plane?

Whoa, yeah, whoa, yeah, and then everybody he kind of just looted, then everybody's sort of just looking out the window.

Everyone's like, this guy's a homophobe.

Well, this guy's a, no, he's a bigot.

He's a bigot.

He's a big, because he's calling 9-11.

So when the moral of the story is that, is that, is that everyone dies because

they didn't want to help a bigot.

Right, yeah, that's the joke, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good.

What do you think about that, Russ?

I think it's great that people are standing up to hate.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

In the sketch.

Adam, don't no-sell my sketch idea.

I didn't know-sell it, dude.

I was like, dude, I was...

Oh, okay, so what's the premise here?

You know what the premise is.

Don't know-sell it.

I get it.

The premise is that it's complicated.

Life is complicated, you know.

Sometimes you think you're standing up to bigotry and then you die in 9-11 and then

the towers crumble.

Okay, but the correct response was ha ha, not, oh.

I was laughing.

Oh, yeah.

You can't see it because you're on speakerphone.

Fast forward to the end of 2024.

Think of your goals.

What can you do right now to give yourself the best chance of succeeding?

If you want to learn a new language, you absolutely should get Babel.

Do you know any other languages, Riley?

No.

No.

Did you know learning actually makes a sound?

It's true.

And then there's a sound effect for Babel, which we're going to in post.

Let's start the ad read over.

Is Pete switching?

Pete?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, so let's now clean break.

Start the ad read now.

Now, okay.

We'll erase.

Let's leave it in because I want my sketch idea in the end.

No, it's good.

It's worth leaving in.

But I don't want to deal with them whining.

With them about the 9-11 and then

the slur.

We got in trouble with another sponsor

who we're going to maybe talk about later on in the show.

Guys, what's the best way to learn language immersion?

Living where the language is spoken and using it every day.

But if that's on the cards, you can still learn a language, the second best way, and that's with Babel.

one in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list and if that's you make 2024 the year you finally check it off the list with Babel fast forward then end of 2024 think of your goals what can you do right now to give yourself the best chance of succeeding if you want to learn a new language you absolutely should get babel

So did you know that learning actually makes a sound?

And then in post, we'll put the sound in.

That's the sound of you learning a new language with Babel.

So guys,

here's the deal, folks.

Here's the deal.

What

we are offering for fans of our show,

we are offering access to more than 13,000 hours of learning content.

And

you can browse more than 20,000 classes offered every single month.

So here's the deal, guys.

For a limited time, To our listeners, right now, you get 55% off your Babel subscription, but only for listeners at babble.com slash TAFS.

Okay, so that's 55% off at Babel, B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash T A F S.

Spelled B A B B E L dot com slash T A F S.

Rules and restrictions may apply.

Thank you.

All right, we're back, Nick.

Are you there?

Uh yeah.

Back with Riley Walker.

Hey, Ari Shafir's in town.

They got a John Madden bus and I'm trying to trying to get on that bus.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, you should get Riley's a big fan of Ari, actually.

I'll let Ari know if I can get him.

Well, then he's like,

I'm like, where are you at?

He's like, we just finished at Walmart.

I'm like, well, like,

I'm not going to call a lift to your bus.

Yeah.

Well, but yeah, where is the bus?

Just fucking come pick me up in the goddamn bus.

Yeah, move.

They have a bus?

They got a John Madden bus, yeah.

What do you mean a John Madden bus?

Like a R V.

Oh, okay.

For what?

For just to drive.

Yeah.

Drive around.

Driving around, doing bits,

podcasting.

Oh.

Psychedelic mushrooms.

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Girls.

Wow.

Mad girls.

Uh.

Guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That comedians can just afford to do that shit.

That's insane.

Sorry.

How are you all so rich?

It's fucking sorry.

It fucking blows my mind.

Anyways, okay.

this, this, this, like, we've got some distance from

the average.

So, okay.

Anyways, I'm pitching this sketch idea, you know, about this guy that keeps like digging this hole deeper.

He's like, well, dude, let's fucking say it.

Hobo, you know.

And he thinks that they're also gay.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, right, yeah.

And I'm texting this stuff on,

you know, and I'm like, oh man, I hope the people behind me can't see what I'm texting.

Yeah, because you're saying

a lot of risk-ass stuff.

Right, yeah, but imagine you're on a plane and you see someone saying like terrorism and bomb and hijack and slur.

Hold on, you see terrorism and bombing and hijacking and you get worried,

and then you see the N-word and the F-slur, and you're like, oh, thank God, they're a patriot.

You're like, oh, my God, thank God.

I was worried.

This guy wasn't an American.

This guy wasn't a proud American.

Oh, thank God.

He's a good old boy.

And that, Riley, is how you make the big bucks.

Yeah.

That's how we make the big bucks, dude.

The worst that's going to happen is he's going to get into a passive-aggressive fit with the flight attendant about putting his seatbelt on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And think that, like,

that

COVID is still happening and that they want to give him a vaccine.

Before the plane went down in Shanksville, the guy said, Let's roll.

Yeah, let's roll is pimp.

Yeah, let's roll is really, yeah, yeah.

I was imagining too, right?

Like, because you know, that Indian guy went to get up, and I'm like, I wonder if that word bothers anybody.

And then I thought about how sometimes like racism is good, you know, because like I know, I can, I know when a guy is like Hindu.

I can tell the difference between a Sikh and a Hindu, right?

And that one's pretty easy.

But it's like, you know, so it's like, okay, you're sitting next to like an old lady, right?

And she's like, you know, nervous because she sees this Indian guy heading towards the cockpit.

And then you explain to her, you're like, oh, actually, you see that bracelet.

That means that he isn't Muslim.

He's actually, you know, he's either Hindu or he's Sikh.

And they have actually been at war with the Mujahideen for a very long time.

That's actually the number one guy you want in the cockpit if Muslims were to attack.

And she's like, oh my god, thank you.

And then I see that the Indian guy is actually going to the bathroom.

And I'm like, no!

Stop it!

Stop him!

Get down!

Everybody, get down!

That is pretty good, dude.

That was pretty good.

I'm glad you had the space away from the read to get that out there.

Wait, so those guys are partying on a bus they're not going to let you on?

I just said, well, okay, well, we'll be at the improv in an hour.

It's only 15 minutes from you.

So go meet them.

I don't know if that means we'll pick you up in the bus or again, like, I'm not calling.

Meet you means meet you at the improv.

Dude,

if your fucking hotel hotel has wheels on it,

like,

what is the point?

Okay, we got the bus and now it's parked.

It's a good opportunity to join an e-bike program.

Yeah, yeah.

Why don't you take one of those little lime scooters?

Why don't they just pick me up in the John Madden bus?

I don't know.

That sounds like a UNR issue.

Yeah, well, if I had a John Madden bus and my friend was in town 10 minutes away,

you know, it'd be like, I would, first, they're not driving it, dude.

They have a driver.

There's a guy who just drives the bus.

He's a professional driver.

Right.

Just be like, hey, go here.

A slave, if you will.

I wish I hadn't eaten those chips.

What do you take on the road?

You don't take an RV?

No.

I've never graduated that level.

Just vans.

Just church vans.

You still drive your van around the city?

No, I sold it to some pipe fitter in Queens.

Come on, you can't say that.

Especially after what Nick said about those Muslims on the plane.

Well, this guy was Eastern European.

Oh, a pipe fitter is a job.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

I thought it was a job.

Did you think that was like a slur?

Oh, you thought it was a pejorative slur.

A homophobic slur.

No, no, like a legit, like, Ukrainian dude.

Oh.

Who had, like, three teeth.

It's a great job being a pipe fitter.

It's a great job.

What do they do?

Well, they

install PVC.

Oh, you know what?

I confuse pipe fitter with butt pirate.

It's because you're sick.

Yeah, I'm sick of that.

You're perverted.

Oh, fuck.

Because you've never worked a blue-collar job in your life, you fucking...

What are you fucking fucking talking about, dude?

I was on the blue collar collar comedy tour.

He has a fluffer.

I was sucking Bill Ingvold's.

You got Foxworthy down in there?

I used to go to.

I'd suck Ingvald and then I'd go.

They call it skiing, where you do a double hand drop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know.

You'd go skiing on Foxworthy and Tater Salad.

Ron White.

Ron White, Tater Salad.

Legend, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Last night I got my ass eaten by a five-girl.

That's my favorite Ron White though.

I turned around and I said, How old are you, sweetie?

22, 23.

She pulls her mouth off my ass and she says, I'm five.

Bucketing five.

Just crush it.

Well, I guess I'll see you at the probation here.

Oh, that's a good tag.

It's funny, I went back and I dropped it.

He drinks brandy?

I thought it was whiskey.

Maybe it's whiskey, I don't know.

I imagine it is kind of more of like a fancy boy.

He drinks crevassier?

It's crazy how him and Hillary Clinton are just kind of merging into the same person.

That is kind of true.

Yeah.

There's that and there's, they say Yasser Airfat and Ringo Starr were pretty much the same person.

They're both the same.

Those are the two.

Those are the two that people.

No, and Scotty Pippen and Osama bin Laden.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, Osama bin Laden looks like like, he looks like somebody, but it's not.

He's kind of, he was a handsome guy.

He's a gray-looking guy.

Yeah.

Hell of a good-looking guy.

You think he's handsome or no?

Osama bin Laden, one of the sexiest people ever, yeah.

Yeah, I think, and he had a big one too, apparently.

Had to, yeah.

SEAL TEAM 6 said he had one of the biggest ones ever.

Yeah, that was the thing they shot that killed him.

Yeah, they shot him in the dick.

That was famously.

He was looking at, he had 10 horn screens up, like the architect.

Yeah.

He was in.

He was exasturated.

And

apparently

he hid behind a naked woman that he just uses.

Yeah, SEAL Team 6 knocked on the door.

He was like, don't come in.

Come on, bro.

Give me one minute.

He like turned the faucet on to make it sound like he was showering.

I'm baiting.

Don't come in.

Didn't they just throw, they threw his body into like the Red Sea?

They threw it into, I thought the Atlantic Ocean, yeah, but they threw it in the ocean.

Yeah, they like put cement in a bag.

Oh, even better, dude.

Imagine you're just like, you're, you're some, like, just Italian fucking faggot looking for octopus.

You know, and you I think that's in the Mediterranean, but yeah.

No, Italy.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, oh, oh, yeah, I got you, I got you, I got you.

Yeah, guy, like a Geppetto-style guy with his little boy and they're on the boat, and it's gone.

You just, you pull up Osama bin Laden

on the reel, and then you take it to your impoverished village, and you're just trying to sell.

Somebody probably ate it.

Do you fillet it?

I guarantee somebody probably, some fucking weird European freak probably ended up eating Osama bin Laden.

They do that.

They eat like snails in Osama bin Laden and stuff out there.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, this is a delicacy.

Wait, Riley.

Dude, you're going to love this, Riley.

I got to talk about something with you.

Do you know about a product called Blue Chew?

I've heard of it.

Riley, have you used a product called Blue Chew?

I've ingested it.

Well, guess what?

You're part of a very big club of gentlemen who have used this product, and this episode is actually sponsored by blue chew it's great so let's they should make one for girls called red shoe and it's

nick we got it

last time we did blue chew we got it

Oh right, yeah.

Okay, so we'll start it again.

Yeah, yeah, we'll start it again.

Last time we did a read, Nick and I said, kind of, I mean, we've been, you as you know you you know the show we've been uh doing reads for these guys for years and finally we'd crossed the line yeah you got to be nice yeah we were told we told we were said we've said plenty of uh horrific things but this one really crossed the line what'd you say uh it was something to do with

come on

All right, we could even cut that from the show.

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And now we're back to the show.

Live via satellite, Nick Mullen.

We got Riley Walker,

guitar God,

Mr.

Guaranteed 11 inches.

So yeah.

What were we saying?

What were we talking about?

Yeah, Nick, did I have to ever tell you I opened for Riley and it was a disaster?

Yeah, you did.

Yeah.

I thought it was good.

Really?

Yeah, I thought you were pretty funny.

I bombed, dude.

No, no, no.

I was like, dude,

it was like, I forgot about what an indie rock crowd is.

It was like a...

I forgot that 2009 to 2012, uh, like, uh, Garage Rock was just very male and white.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And no gay people, even.

No, no, it's pretty insular.

Gay dropped in, like, what, 2013 or something?

2013.

Yeah, yeah.

That's when gay.

Yeah, yeah, that's when Pitchwork allowed.

That's when gay started.

Yeah, yeah.

When do you think gay started, Nick?

Um, I don't know.

I guess it's like, remember when we went to that coffee shop your band's from?

And then suddenly the last straight barista was now warned yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah I remember that it was like uh overnight

yeah it was just shocking to me because like look we live in Brooklyn I understand that going to a coffee shop 50 to 80 percent of the baristas are gonna be gay or some type of new gay yeah that involves squish molos and cadiers like i understand that you know but there was one guy there that was just uh

you know he was just he wear like dockers.

Yeah, he looked like he liked the books, you know, yeah, yeah.

Seems like he read one too many books, you know.

Did you know those glasses that are only for people that are like read too many books?

Like the very thin wire,

like, yeah, kind of like the Russian revolutionary glasses.

Yes, yes, knob glasses.

Like, you don't even know where to get them.

They look like, yeah, exactly.

I'm a Bolshevik, actually.

Right, wartime kind of glasses.

He was one of those guys.

And then we went in there one day and he had like

a clown's makeup on and necklaces.

Yeah, he was really just changed his whole vibe.

Yeah, I mean, it looked like

it looked like he had just been to Mardi Gras.

Maybe he did.

And I said to myself,

I guess I guess everyone's gay now.

Yeah.

Anyway, so Riley, you actually, you have a show that just premiered at South by Southwest.

It's going to be.

And it's the, you want to tell us about it?

Not really.

Why not?

Come on, dude.

I don't know.

This is the business you're in.

If you want to get into my business of making schmunnies, you have to be like, oh, I really want to tell you about this exciting new project and stuff.

I don't want to pitch anything.

Why?

But you're not pitching it.

It's already been picked up.

No, I don't really want to do that.

Why?

I don't know.

Because you're humble?

I'm humble.

So, okay, would you rather play?

I'm not going to play either.

La Bamba for me or Television?

Can you even afford the rights to such a song?

I don't know.

It's a cover.

That kid fucking died in a plane crash in Wisconsin.

It's not really funny to make fun of him.

He's dead, dude.

You can't do it.

He fucking got wiped out in a plane crash.

Not funny to do it.

He's going to play any big bopper.

It's not funny to do that on a comedy show.

Why was he called the Big Bopper?

Because he used to get bopped off.

Yeah, he used to get bopped off.

Yeah, he'd be in like a Cincinnati radio station getting bopped off by like a.

Hello, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah, Big Bopper.

Nick, who was your favorite out of those guys that died in the plane crash?

When the music died?

The day the music died.

The Big Bopper.

Everyone's choice is the Big Bopper.

No, mine is Richie Balance, more of a Chicano, kind of Southern California.

That's my background.

Have you seen LeBala?

Yeah, with Lou Diamond Phillips.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've seen that movie.

Have you seen that movie?

Yeah.

You liked it?

It's fine.

Yeah.

Have you seen the Doors movie?

Yeah, The Doors Movie Rules.

The Doors movie is awesome.

Oliver Stone.

I kind of want to watch it after this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kilmer at his peak.

I love...

Insanely perfect nipples.

Dude, he's so handsome.

He looks so fucking good.

That's kind of like the most,

like, that's the fastest, like, hot guy to fat guy.

He's spiral.

Rock star spiral.

His brain, like, melted in the late 90s.

Like, something didn't happen.

No, no, no.

I'm talking about Morrison.

Morrison, like, they were a band for like

11 minutes.

Yeah, and he got super fat.

The Doors existed for 18 months.

Yeah.

And he was just a fat, uh, he was like Marlon Brando, so fat, he was like eating all the poetry he was writing.

His poems are really good, they suck, they are really good poems, dude.

Good pro shouts, Robbie Krieger.

Yeah, love Robbie, love the Krieg, love Krieg.

Is that what this is now?

Uh, indie rock music podcast?

Yeah, we're kind of doing a VH1 storyteller.

We're doing a VH1 storyteller about how fat Jim Morrison is.

Nick, do you have a like what's your favorite song

of all time?

Yeah,

Um.

Tequila.

Can you play Tequila for Nick?

Tequila?

Yeah, Ari Shafir is not picking up him up in the bus.

Do you have the copyright to that?

You're going to get flagged.

No, it's not because it's a cover, dude.

Don't worry.

That's Tequila.

No, that.

Okay, do the whole thing.

Oh, no, I don't know tequila.

Dude, I thought you know every song.

No, I don't.

I told him.

That's why I can't yes and this right now.

All right, fuck man.

Okay.

So this is major news, Adam.

You just got mentioned on the Joe Rogan show.

I did.

He's going to grind you up in a creatine.

It's a five and a half hour podcast.

And they say the full name Adam Dean Friedland.

Dude, they said that, yeah, halfway through, Joe asked for complete silence, and then Mark Norman goes, Adam Dean Freeland.

And then they go back to doing the rest of the show.

This is going to change things forever.

They didn't say anything about like that if I'm a good guy or not, if they like me.

No, no, they just everyone stopped for a second and it's like uh one of Norman's eyes turned red.

I think he had a stroke and he said your name.

It's at the nineteen hour and thirty-five minute mark of a four hundred and eighty-two hour podcast.

Man.

The man is a machine.

I mean Joe can just go for hours and hours.

I wonder how he fucks.

I mean like he's got to be like, he's got to last like, I mean he's podcasting so much he probably has to squeeze in fucking like did you watch did you watch did you watch this latest Rogan with all those guys on there?

No, I didn't see it.

Did you?

No, I saw that you were mentioned.

I watched five minutes of it.

What were they riffing on?

I don't know.

I don't understand why they're wearing the sunglasses.

They look like the California Raisins.

They're probably smoking smoking weed.

Yeah, I maybe that's a thing.

Joe loves hitters.

I'm not all about silly outfits.

Yeah, Nick, you dress pretty normally.

I think you should take podcasting seriously.

You're one of the normalest dressers in comedy.

Yeah.

You'll try after lunch.

I think I fuck myself up with these chips in the Die Mountain Dew.

Quest Bar.

Quest Bar, Luna Bar, Barbecue, Carolina Barbecue.

Is Questlove, did he name himself after his love of Quest Bar?

Yeah, he's like, I like the birthday cake Quest Bar from the Delhi so much.

I'm going to make that my name.

Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty funny.

Yeah, only four grams of net carbs, so he really wanted to get in on it.

Yeah, yeah.

See, Riley knows a lot about rock history.

And net carbs.

And net carbs.

Are you getting it?

Questlove's deal?

He's like, he just plays like a snare drum.

He just sits there with a snare drum and

has his whole thing.

Well, I think he has other.

He's got Toms.

He's a hip-hop historian, a documentary filmmaker.

Yeah.

So he's like Neil deGrasse Tyson, kind of.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, he knows a lot about space.

They do the same thing.

Yeah, yeah.

I think,

have you ever seen them in the same room at the same time?

I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Yeah, I couldn't tell you.

I wouldn't know.

I always confuse those guys.

I tell you, I mean, I've had to go in for police lineups a couple of times, having been robbed and sexually sexually assaulted a bunch here.

Really?

And every time I say, I don't know, all of them?

Yeah.

We can't, oh, man.

Every single one of them?

No,

but but wouldn't four of them be innocent?

I think it's.

I can't stop eating these chips.

So, yeah, so I mean, Riley doesn't want me to mention it, but he does have a show potentially

coming out later this year.

It's with the it's funny with the who.

Who's it with?

The Robert De Niro shit thing you were doing?

Yeah, me and Robert De Niro.

So what is it called?

It's called the Riley Walker.

Riley Walker and Friend comes out later this year on TV talking to me.

And Robert De Niro is in it?

Robert De Niro stars in it.

He plays it.

It's a new vehicle for him where he plays me, an indie rock musician, trying to find his voice.

Is this narrative or or documentary?

A docufilm.

Really?

Yeah, docufilm.

And you like meet other

rockers on the road?

Meet other rockers on the road.

Who do you got in the mix?

You'll have to watch and see.

I mean, like, you could tell us one.

Now, let me ask you this, Riley, because you just said

you are in a sort of like a domestic partnership with

a Mexican-American pipe fitter.

Yeah.

Right.

And he sold the van.

Oh, okay.

So you had to sell the van.

And it was an Eastern European, I should say.

Yeah.

Okay.

Whatever it was.

But

what's with some might say dire straits.

Money for nothing.

Money for nothing.

Yeah.

Now

we

I don't know who it's with.

We spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars

making this show, and we have gotten no offers.

Yeah.

Well, the main reason I asked you on is to see if you can maybe tell them.

Oh, so I can sell Apple Corpse, your TV show?

So you're so good at selling.

We're doing you a favor.

We're bringing you on the show.

Yeah, this is huge for you.

Now you've got to scratch our backs.

You go march right at the

office and you say, either you buy my friend's show.

Or I stick this knife in my neck.

I'll fucking kill you.

I will find every woman in this office and kill her.

Just to make the men think they're safe.

Yeah, yeah.

And then.

And then I'm coming for the men.

Yeah,

guys, getting fucking, I got a cup of acid.

I'm going to acid blind every male in here.

I've got a turkey baser and a cup full of acid, and I'm putting just a drop of battery acid into everyone's penis tip.

Just in the tip, and you'll rot from the inside out.

I stick their dick in battery acid?

Yeah.

No, you have a turkey baser, and you withdraw a little.

Oh, I enjoy it.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You like squeeze and then squeeze it into the dick hole.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and it rots the inside of their dick out first, and it goes to their mind.

You don't even have to worry about it because as soon as they hear these threats, they're going to say,

Where do I suck?

Where's my checkbook?

Yeah,

where's

where is my blank check yeah what's your passion project listen that this is a direct threat on my life and every woman and man that I work with but you've got Panache and I can't imagine you ever been in a limo kid have you ever been in a limo no no

have you

a limo yeah

I want to say I have, but now I can't recall a single instance where I've been in a limousine.

You didn't go to prom in a limo?

I don't think I've ever been in a limo.

Remember in Home Alone 2 when he rides the limousine around New York?

Yeah, so cool.

When I was the child, that was my biggest dream in the world.

To have a cheese pizza in a limo and have no parents?

I ride a limousine around New York like dead parents.

Yeah.

But no, I don't think I've actually actually been in a stretched limo.

How about this, dude?

Ari Shavir is having all this fun in a John Madden bus.

And first of all, it's a little rude to you because you've talked about John Madden buses for a while that you want to get one.

It's a passion of yours.

He's kind of rubbing it in your face saying take an Uber here.

He's stepping on my market, dude.

I mean, he's doing shows here this weekend.

I've had an ongoing problem of respect that I'm doing

from HBO.

You can't get none.

You can't get no respect.

From HBO.

So how about this, dude?

Ours, if you're from John Madden.

Listen, the world is against us.

The industry is against us.

Riley's against us.

Pete, I don't trust.

I mean, he's doing a great job so far, but I'm never going to fully trust him.

But guess what?

He's a fucking anti-Semites, dude.

Mr.

Hashimoto is, I'm cool with him, okay?

But guess what?

When you come back, you and me, Monday morning, 9 a.m.,

we're renting a limo, and we're going to just ride around New York City.

We're going to live out that dream.

No, what we're going to do is shoot another digital short, no matter what.

That's the other thing, Tim.

I announced, I announced, I announced.

Are you there?

Yeah, you just kind of told me to shut up.

Oh, I said I already announced it, just in case you were.

No, no, talk about the digital shorts.

I'm sure people are.

No, no, right?

Nope.

You ever like, is it, you know, this reminds you of being in bands, you know?

Oh, just the constant bitching back and forth.

Can't come to terms with anything.

Kind of like a.

Oh, wow.

I didn't realize that you played in the Adam friedland band yeah we rocked

yeah we just got signed yeah we're kind of like a liam and noel kind of style yeah we're liam and noel start titling our podcast the joe rogan experience on youtube yeah

to get his attention no to steal some of his audience

or we could just on the thumbnail image just put joe

just add him to the show and call it the joe rogan experience

because look, who knows how much longer the Joe Rogan bumps is going to be worth it?

Dude, yeah, he's getting pretty big right now, but I don't know.

What goes up must come down, you know?

Exactly.

It's just gravity.

I love that, like, you have to tell yourself that.

There's just been extended periods of no going up at all.

You're like, yeah, well, these guys are, no, they'll be fine.

They're going to go down.

They'll die happy with hundreds of millions of dollars in your life.

And surrounded by by a family who loves them yeah all right guys

i want to talk about march madness are you excited about march madness definitely okay if you're still on the hunt for a sports book to call home and bet on the non-stop action of march madness

you don't know that was it

um

i was okay

it was really funny he's so funny yeah

He really goes there, that guy.

Yeah, yeah, he's great.

I think, yeah, it's been funny so far.

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So you were telling me that crazy story from

back in the day before the show started.

Where the streets have no name.

Where the streets have no name.

Stupid and bad.

Songs about how he was blacked out on Xannies and didn't know where he was.

Oh, Bono.

Yeah, yeah, Bono.

Yeah, yeah.

I heard Bono snizzes.

Does he?

Yeah.

Heavy.

Heavy.

He does bag.

Oh, dude, Graham, a knight.

What about the edge?

Yeah, the edge is fucked up.

Everybody knows that.

Really?

Yeah, the edge is fucked up.

I thought the edge just beats, but doesn't.

Yeah, it's about edging, obviously.

That's like such a gimme, you know?

And he was like, proto.

That's that classic rock joke.

Yeah, this is like the late 70s before edging was even like a thing.

He was like beating off and like getting to the limit.

And he's just like, I have to stop.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And then like Richard Gere saw it and was like, I'm going to take that up one notch.

Yeah, yeah.

And he put a rat up his ass.

I'll do it with a rodent in my ass.

Yeah, which is totally like par for the course these days.

It's totally chill chill now.

Yeah.

You know.

So if you could like make your perfect guitarist, you put a little bit of the edge.

A little bit of the edge.

You put a little bit of what?

The Johnny Marr?

A little bit of Johnny Marr.

You don't like the Smiths.

Not a huge Smiths fan.

Why not?

I don't know.

Just a lot of bitching, I guess.

I mean, I can't say anything that hasn't been said.

But you know that they speak to Mexican-American culture.

I think they do have a big Latino fan base, yeah.

Yeah.

They love that and

Tweety Bird.

They love Tweety Bird?

Like t-shirts with like gangster Tweety Birds.

I just associate Tweety Bird with like I'd go to the water park when I was a kid and like really fat chicks would have like a Tweety Bird tattoo on their foot.

It was kind of a fat chick thing.

Yeah.

You know.

You know what I found out like later in life and it felt weird?

Not like I was trying to fuck Tweety Bird, but...

Yeah, you were.

I found out it was a guy.

Tweety Bird's a guy.

Yeah, I didn't know if it was like...

I thought it was like...

It just felt.

I didn't know if it was a guy or a girl.

I never even thought of it.

I wasn't trying to fuck Tweedy Bird.

I wasn't perverted when I was a kid.

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

What's the number one cartoon you'd fuck?

Tommy Pickles.

Still.

Jewish American family.

Yeah, I know.

They had a Passover special.

Yeah, early representation for you.

I like staying under the radar.

I don't like flashing.

You're hiding out.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm like, Rugrats is living out loud a little too much.

Yeah, yeah.

Just like the squish of Tommy Pickles' diaper.

I like being more closeted about my Judaism.

Yeah.

Or addict about my Judaism.

Oh, Lord.

Come on now.

Come on.

I can make those jokes.

You can make those jokes.

Your family's 100% German.

Mine?

Yeah.

No, Walker's English name.

I don't know if I have much German in me.

Really?

Walker, Northern England.

Oh, from the north.

Yeah, Blimey.

Northern England, like the factory record.

York!

Oh, you're from York?

Loefle.

You're from a coal town.

A coal town, yeah.

Yeah.

Cross-side Anglo-like drunks, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, good people.

They get wasted early.

They get wasted early.

Because the bars close at like, what, midnight or something?

Yeah, yeah, so they get to see.

They're blacked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's nasty.

What's the most fun city to drink in from your days on the road?

I don't know.

I'm just like a raging alcoholic, so probably just the van on the highway.

Just like in the back seat alone, like thinking about killing yourself.

I'd say Tokyo.

Yeah, Tokyo is a good place to drink too.

It is, really.

You can smoke inside.

It's pretty cool.

They're like bummed if you smoke outside.

Yeah.

I was there with our boys.

I was in Tokyo.

I did, um, scar tissue in karaoke.

Karaoke, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I asked if they had red hot chili peppers, and they were like, they didn't know what it was.

And then they were like, oh, the red chilies.

They call them the red chilies over there.

They call them the red chilies over there.

Very nice.

Yeah, yeah.

John Frashante.

I crush scar tissue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like John Frasante?

I like, I like...

The brown bunny soundtrack?

The solo stuff where he came back from rehab and his voice was in falsetto.

Yeah, he kills it.

Why is it on he's cold that'd be so funny if you came you came back from rehab and you're like hey dude what's up yeah and i had a lo-fi damage i'm living clean and sober now

and i did the soundtrack for a brown bunny that movie where the dude got a blowjob i thought that i thought that uh vincent gallo did all of his own soundtracks or maybe it was vincent gallo no i think john vashanta had a hand in that they kind of look a little john vashanta call in What did Dave Matthews say?

Nothing?

Never got back to me.

You know, he's busy jamming.

He's in the middle of a half-hour jam right now.

A 41.

Dude, he's just ripping ants marching right now.

Yeah, he's

tripping.

Are we tripping?

I did Ice Cold Fatty.

You what?

I did Ice Cold Fatty.

Like a joint?

No,

after you go see a dead show, you go to the lot.

You go to Shakedown Street.

Sure.

And that's really half the experience is the fucking experience.

They call it Gray Street in the Dave Matthews Caravan, yeah.

Gray Street?

Yeah.

Why is that?

Because he has a song called Gray Street.

Makes sense, right?

yeah

I went to shake shakedown and my boy's my one boy's sober and he's nice but he's he's a warf rat but he's like one of the he's like I gotta show you the experience he's like I'm gonna get you an ice cold fatty okay

and it was a it was a balloon oh you did a whippet yeah but then like the balloons guys were like there was like a hippie guy that had two and he was doing it he's like this is the best part of my life man yeah i did whippets before and i pissed my pants really yeah yeah I was sitting in a lawn chair doing whippets around a fire when I was in high school and I did whippets and I just immediately started pissing my pants.

And I was like it's beer.

I spilled beer like I had to like get out of it somehow.

And you got out of it?

Then I drove drunk home.

Neon!

Neon!

What is that song?

John Mayer.

So you could do any of his songs?

Yeah, I could play anything from the John Mayer songbook.

Fucking amazing.

Yeah.

Including wearing a Puka Shell necklace and having like a shaved chest.

Yeah, I can do it.

He shaves his chest?

He's got to, yeah.

He's got a good body.

Yeah.

He's got a great body.

He did say that one thing in Playboy magazine.

What?

About how his dick is like David Duke.

He's got a white supremacist dick?

He was just basically like he was not attracted to black women.

Oh, damn.

He could have put that any other way.

That's a crazy.

That's a crazy dick.

He couldn't put that any other way.

My dick is like Adolf Hitler.

what about you who would my dick be compared to

uh

probably

um

who's the

who's the second guy in garden state that's not the dude from scrubs

uh maggie gyllenhall's husband yeah maggie gyllenhal's husband's dick

yeah why

uh just because like in the mid-2000s it like kind of went in this like quirky twee thing you know

you know like it was like a serious sort of role

player, you know, throughout the 90s.

It was like very dedicated to the craft, learning, off-Broadway, sort of small black box situations.

And then in the mid-2000s, once the shins dropped, it was like, I'm twee now.

So, like, I don't know, like, could you maybe put Nick and I in touch with these guys?

Yeah, definitely.

I'd like to work on it together.

If you could get my music synced in it, then we could all sort of benefit from it equally.

Do you want to maybe write like a theme song, maybe, for the Adam Freeland Show?

Yeah, I could write a song for the Adam Freeland Show.

Just do it right now.

Something in the Way She Moves

looks my way, calls my name.

It's called Something in the Way She Moves.

I think that's pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, definitely influenced by James Taylor and Carol King.

Riley Walker, everyone, thanks for watching.

Sorry, I'm not Nick.

Thank you.

We love him.

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